Rivals (1972) - full transcript
Scott Jacoby, as a boy with an unhealthy and pathological attachment to his divorced mother, becomes increasingly jealous of the new man in his mother's life (Robert Klein). After his ...
♪ Promise me you'll
never ever leave ♪
♪ And never leave me lonely
♪ Promise me you'll never
ever go and ♪
♪ Afternoons will
slowly slip away ♪
♪ You know that
I'll come running ♪
♪ We'll say hello and warm
our hands beside the fire ♪
♪ And talk a while
♪ You promise me you'll
never go too far ♪
♪ And never leave me crying
♪ You promise me a
wish made on a star ♪
♪ Can really still come true
♪ And I wish you'll
never go away ♪
♪ Each promise you may stay
♪ And I will promise too
♪ I promise you I'll never,
never ever go away from you ♪
♪ I'll never, never
ever go away from you ♪
♪ I'll never, never
ever go away from you ♪
What kind of a tic would
you find on the moon?
What kind of a tic would
you find on the moon?
Um...
Give up?
Yeah.
A lunatic.
Oh boy.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Did you sell that
putrefaction yet?
No.
Jorgeson made
another offer today.
$800.
I hope you didn't take it.
No.
You should get 12.
You know what
Madge said today?
You have a good eye for art.
Really?
You're putting me on.
Honest.
Do anything new on your movie?
Which one, home or school?
The one you're
supposed to shoot.
Oh yeah, cast my actors.
Oh, good.
Did Mary call yet?
She came over personally
to say she'll be here
at eight sharp.
That's good.
Mommy, I don't
need a babysitter.
We agreed...
But I can stay alone.
The last time you
were on your own,
you were seen bicycling down
the middle of 5th Avenue
without headlights.
But I had to buy film
before the store closed.
Do you want me to go out?
Yes.
Then the sitter is in.
Why are you in
the art business?
Why are you in the
frozen food business?
Whenever I came to New York,
I couldn't stand the French
food they served here
and so I decided that I
should perform,
export here.
Well, you see, I
was a bored housewife.
My husband who worked
on Time Magazine,
that is my late husband, he
traveled most of the week
and I needed an
involvement and...
That's it.
In Paris, a bored
housewife finds a lover.
Oh, well, in New York
she opens a gallery.
All you American women.
What humor.
It is as sanitary
as your bodies.
That really you?
Yeah.
You were cute.
So were you.
Who took this film?
My dad.
Oh.
Everyone says I should model.
I'm a perfect seven.
But I don't know if
I'd photograph well.
I mean, I'd want to see what
I'd look like first, you know?
Mm-hm.
Listen, Mary, you
do what you want to.
I'm just gonna finish
up and go to bed, okay?
Got the picture.
Hey, listen,
you've gotta see something.
Oh, I heard about that.
What will it take Jamie?
8 1/2?
Why not?
Dada.
Me your Dada.
Johnson picked up by
the Goldwaters' speech.
Well, I think Kennedy approved.
That had it.
I can't
hear you, say it again?
Good night, Mary.
Good night, Jamie.
Jamie's listening, be quiet.
You dummy.
Jamie just went to the kitchen.
So what?
So what?
I don't wanna lose
my three dollars.
Please, Phil.
Phil, this is Jamie.
Hi, Phil.
Hi, kid.
Hey, Phil, you still a virgin?
Hey, look, kid.
I mean, don't you think that...
Well, I mean...
What do you mean?
You're still a kid.
You didn't answer my question.
Well, I've had my
moments, I guess.
You swore to me!
I didn't mean it.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
I'm still a virgin too.
Well, I guess I'd
better be pushing off.
Bye, Phil.
Oh boy, did you clobber him.
He sounded like a
strangled chicken.
Poor guy was probably
more scared than you were.
How do you know I was scared?
Aren't you a virgin?
Maybe, maybe not.
Besides, what do
you know about it?
I know what I know.
Like what?
Like premarital intercourse
is perfectly normal.
Just so long as the
persons involved
have a sincere affection
for each other.
Oh, you mean fooling
around's alright.
Well, actually our society
doesn't okay fooling around.
I mean, straight out.
But in other societies
like the Pacific Islands,
all kinds of sexual
relationships are perfectly okay.
Except incest, of course.
That's a universal taboo.
Glad you didn't tell Phil
about the Pacific Islands.
Jamie.
Yeah?
What do they do in
the Pacific Islands?
Thank you for
a lovely evening.
It was my pleasure.
Oh, Mary.
Everything is alright.
Jamie's asleep.
Thank you, darling,
thank you very much.
Good night.
Good night, Robert.
Oh, must we end
this charming evening?
Well, Robert, I really think...
Love is such a
precious cadeaux.
Uh, Robert, you're
tickling me, it's really...
Please.
Get out.
Mon petit.
Why, you should be in bed.
Get out.
Jamie, go to your room.
Please believe me, Christine,
there's absolutely
no cause for alarm.
Well, certainly Jamie
overreacted last night,
but you must remember,
he's in adolescence.
At 10?
It's all biology.
Bodies are changing due to
nutrition, control of disease.
Girls today menstruate
earlier than they did, say,
a generation ago.
The boys, the latency
period is shorter.
By nine or 10, they're in
a period of pre-puberty,
almost adolescence.
Remember, these kids belong
to the media generation.
It's not that they're
precocious, they're just smarter.
And if they seem more sexually
aware, it's because they are.
What happened to
innocent childhood?
Where have all
the children gone?
Black?
Yes, please, and one sugar.
You know, when Jamie was
a baby I used to think
what fun we would have
when he grew a little.
And now...
Remember that Jamie is a
product of his own times,
not of our remembered childhood.
What about the Oedipal?
What about it?
Well, you know, since Douglas's
death, Jamie's changed.
Sometimes I think it...
It's almost as if he's trying
to take his father's place.
How differently Jamie
would have behaved
with Douglas alive,
we'll never know.
There's one other
thing, doctor.
Should I date or shouldn't I?
Hi, Madge.
Good morning.
What is this?
Happy birthday.
Oh, you darling.
Thank you for
remembering, how sweet.
But what is CAM?
Oh, that's Computerized
Astrological Matchmaking Service.
Well, you just fill out the form
and the computer figures out
in whose moon your
ascendant is rising.
And I marry my
ascendant next Sunday.
No, that's passe.
You see, with this service
you have to promise
never to marry
any of your dates.
Happy birthday.
Here, I think.
That looks good.
Uh huh.
Oh look, if you're not doing
anything special tonight,
we're showing an old Jeanette
MacDonald Nelson Eddy movie
at our house.
I know Jamie is crazy
about the old ones.
We'd love to have you,
you wanna come over?
Thank you very much, Madge,
but tonight is movie
night at our house too.
You see, every birthday, be it
mama bear's or teddy bear's,
we have the ceremony.
I make moussaka
and Jamie runs off some eight
millimeter film of his dad.
Hello?
Hi, Mom.
Look...
Hi, Jamie!
Is the shooting over?
Yeah, but something's come up.
The teacher's taking the class
to see Shakespeare in the park.
I forgot to tell you
about it this morning.
Can I go?
The school bus will drop
me home about 11, okay?
Alright.
See you later.
Oh, Jamie.
Yes, Mom?
Uh...
What?
Nothing, honey.
Have a good time.
Okay, bye, Mom.
Shh.
Explore your own city!
Discover its hidden
treasures, beautiful parks,
friendly ghettos.
How many of you know the
Bronx is the only part
of New York City on the
mainland of the United States?
Is that a fact?
If you're an honest taxpayer,
then you should see it.
Sir, want to take a tour?
What tour?
The tour for New Yorkers only.
I'm Italian.
Want to take a tour
for New Yorkers only?
I'm happy to.
Do you have change
for a quarter?
No, thanks a lot
though anyway, no.
You'll have a
wonderful time, Miss!
I haven't any money,
thank you anyway.
New York by night,
New York by day.
You don't need money!
Money's not important.
As a tribute to
your great beauty,
I would like to
prove to the world
that Peter Simon's Tours caters
to only the most beautiful
women in the world.
Free of charge!
But I need you!
You're crazy, boy.
I'm not crazy!
Come on my tour, please.
Please, please, please, please.
Look, you're
embarrassing me, mister.
She won't come with me!
I need you, please!
Just sit in my bus.
You'll be the example to
our indifferent New Yorkers.
May Allah be with
you, Jesus beside you,
and Moses leading the way.
Miss, explore your own city.
See all the lively
nooks and crannies,
all the unusual markets.
A tour of New York
for New Yorkers only.
Fuck off.
Look, I've changed my mind.
I'd like to get off.
Passengers will please
not move down the aisles
while the vehicle's in motion.
Would you just stop the car?
Passengers will not
shout at the driver.
I'm not shouting.
Have you ever seen Manhattan?
I live here!
You've never seen it.
Wow, this is out of sight.
As soon as I saw you,
I said to myself "No,
he won't go for that."
What about the turquoise one?
Ah, the Ethiopian jablan.
Magnificent.
A dress made of pure
silk, handwoven.
Try this?
I have that in size six.
You live around here, young man?
No.
Mary, please stop moving around.
Could you move in front
of the other light?
That's it, right there.
Come on, stand up straight.
Jamie, I've gotta
work on my report.
What are you working on?
Turn around.
The family unit in
the Pacific Islands.
Oh.
How much?
$22.50.
Okay.
Central Park, where
children play by day
and fairies play by night.
If you're lucky, a
children people.
Can I offer you anything,
coffee, tea, or me?
Tea.
You're now passing
through Snobsville, New York.
Art Row, where artists
paint with their toes,
where frames are
prettier than pictures.
Have you ever
been to any of the galleries?
They're all frauds.
They make
a lot of people happy.
And a lot of people rich.
Touche.
Why?
I own a gallery.
Are you rich?
No.
Too bad.
Next stop, Wall Street.
You sure?
I'd be happy to drive you home.
No, thank you.
I could ask your name.
You could.
But why spoil a
beautiful thing, right?
Right.
Thank you.
It's been fun.
Good night.
It's just wonderful.
I went out to buy the dress.
I wanted it to be a surprise.
Oh, darling, I'm so
sorry I wasn't home
when you came in with it,
but it's the sweetest, loveliest
present I ever got, ever.
How was the movie?
What movie?
Oh, I never got to the movie.
I got forced into taking
a tour of Manhattan.
Are you hungry?
No.
Who forced you?
Neither am I.
What do you say we open
up the champagne, okay?
Who forced you?
Yeah, you wanna
know who's a virgin?
Let me go!
You're a midget.
Get him, man,
don't be a chicken.
Yeah, you better run
home to your mother
before he mashes you.
What's wrong, kid, you forget
your bottle or something?
Freaking.
Think you know everything?
That's it, man.
Speak, man, speak.
He made a pass at my girl.
This kid?
Little bastard!
Okay, go home.
Vanish.
This scene is over.
Lover boy, huh?
Real hombre.
And tough too.
Gonna make some bread?
Least they got gas stations,
drugstores, that kind of stuff.
Could use you.
Call me when you stick
up Chase Manhattan.
Alright, just have your
relay races the same way
you would any other time, okay?
And tell Andy not
to look at the camera.
Andy, don't look
at the camera.
Okay.
Anything else?
No.
Alright, any questions?
I saw the pope
on TV last night
and he doesn't wear
a stupid jockey cap.
Listen, we're not
trying to imitate anybody,
we're just having fun.
Like Halloween, right, Jamie?
I brought this cap that
looks just like the pope.
That's.
May I wear it?
Jamie's the director.
Alright, put it on.
This film's an
improvisation anyway.
Alright, take your places.
Scene five, take three.
Ready?
Action!
♪ Your funny face
♪ Your funny clothes
♪ Your funny hair
♪ Your funny toes
♪ Your funny eyes
♪ Your funny nose
♪ Do I have to be like you?
♪ Do I have to look like?
♪ Do I have to talk like?
♪ Do I have to be like?
♪ Do I have to do?
♪ Do like you?
You know, Jamie had an
IQ of 143 when he was six.
Scared his father so much he
took him to a psychiatrist
right away.
Well, I'll tell you.
When I was six, I
had an IQ of 145.
My parents weren't scared.
♪ Do I have to look like?
♪ Do I have to talk like?
♪ Do I have to be like you?
♪ Be like you?
♪ I wanna be like you
Later, Jamie.
See you, Andy.
How was your computer date?
Short circuited.
Was he that bad?
Look, it's the worst,
you have to do me a favor.
What?
Play sick.
But Mom, I've been
invited to a party.
I'll make a bargain with you.
I'll take you to dinner and
then you can take a ride
on the Staten Island
Ferry with me.
And when you come home, you can
watch the Late Show with me.
You mean I can
stay up tonight, Mom?
Hold on.
Alright.
Get the line going.
Come on.
Don't touch anything.
Anything is scratched
and I'll have to buy it.
She looks like Sophia Loren.
Just like Sophia Loren.
Do you have any Gauguin?
Who?
Gauguin.
Oh, you like Gauguin?
Yes, he painted that
beautiful red dog.
Oh, well, everything
would look red to you.
I'm interested in the washes.
He uses a lot of
pink, doesn't he?
What about the ceiling,
what color do you call this?
I would say
that's an off cocoa, sir.
That's a sprinkler
system over there.
Look at the texture
of that, everyone.
I mean, it makes you want
to just feel and reach out
and eat the colors, doesn't it?
And what is that back there?
That's a girl.
Oh, dear me, it
looks like Elsie.
I thought that was Elsie.
There must be 125 art
galleries in this area
and I've come in 50 of
them in the past two weeks.
You must like art.
Why didn't you tell me
the name of your gallery?
Why didn't you ask my name?
What's your name?
Christine Sutton.
I love you, Christine.
Have coffee with me.
I have to take
care of the shop.
My partner's out to lunch.
Oh, you can take 10 minutes.
Put a sign in the window.
You're in the
middle of a bus tour.
No, out of towners.
No stamina.
They need a breather, you know?
Watch.
Everybody back in
the bus, let's go!
Come on, back in the bus!
Gallery's closed
for lunch, let's go!
Come on, Mrs. Sturgess, pop
art is bad for your eyes.
Let's go.
Right back in, come on, come on.
I'm sorry, they're closing.
Come on.
I'm sorry, I can't do it.
They close the
gallery for lunch.
They have to eat too, you know.
Hurry up, dear, let's get in.
Let's get in,
hurry up, hurry up.
Hurry up.
Get comfortable now.
That's it.
So I had a choice, become
mayor of New York or a guide.
So I looked into the
requirements of being mayor.
A candidate has to shake
about 6,000,000 hands,
kiss thousands of babies,
eat about 50 pizzas
and 30 blintzes a day.
By the time you become
mayor, the hand is crippled,
you have bad breath, and
you carry around Alkaseltzer
with you all day.
So I became a guide.
But why a guide?
A guide, you only
risk one finger.
You know, on your right
folks, is Lady Liberty,
a gift of the people of
France to the United States.
On your left is the
World Trade Center.
Very original.
Please marry me,
Christine Sutton.
Please.
For all you know,
I may be married.
We'll fly to Mexico
and arrange for the judge
to give you a divorce.
Then we'll have him marry us.
Are you married?
Don't you think it's
about time you get back
to your tea party?
Let us out of here.
I'm, feel just like fleas.
Hey, calm down.
Hey, hold back.
Go on about your way.
Excuse me, excuse me.
I got this.
This your bus, fella?
Yes, it is.
And these are your tourists?
Yeah.
Well, what do
you mean going off
and leaving them like that?
I didn't leave them.
I quarantined them.
You what?
Measles.
Who has the measles?
Measles?
There are no
measles in this bus.
That flat-faced kid
in the back there.
Those are freckles.
Watch out.
Where's the guy
with the measles?
There he is.
Hey, would you get the
kid with the measles up?
There he is.
He doesn't look like
he's sick to me.
What do you think?
No, there's spots.
You see 'em?
Let's take to the
hospital anyway.
We'll give you an escort.
Let's go, come on.
Officer, this man is lying.
Listen, lady, we
can't take any chances.
Funny city, is it?
It's a very funny city,
I don't think that...
Meet me here at
three o'clock tomorrow!
I can't.
What's your phone number?
I'm having a party.
Be here at three tomorrow.
Jamie, it's been five minutes.
It is your move.
What does zug mean?
I know the word exists but
I'm not sure of the meaning.
Well, I challenge.
Okay, if you say so.
Hello?
Hi.
What happened here?
Everyone's waiting here for you.
What?
This is Peter, remember me?
How did you get my number?
I have your address too.
Now listen, Christine,
you can't break our date.
I mean, all my friends
are waiting in the bus
for the guest of honor.
Look, I can't make it now.
I'll appeal to your vanity.
You're unquestionably going
to be the most
beautiful woman there.
Now your competition isn't much.
We have a Miss
America 1930 here,
three chondodystrophic dwarfs,
and the entire basso section
from the Mormon
Tabernacle Choir.
The ugliest group of
people you've ever seen
in your entire life.
Christine, if you don't
come to the party,
I'm going to bring everyone
over to your house.
Oh!
Don't do that, alright?
I'll meet you at the
gallery in half an hour.
Who was that, Mom?
A client from out of town.
He's only got a few
hours and he's interested
in buying a painting.
Oh.
It's a little early, I know,
but I'm gonna call Mary anyway.
Where's the party?
Right here.
Where is everybody?
They'll come in time.
When?
Right now.
You missed.
Hey, you want
to go to a party?
No, man.
Great party.
Where you going, where?
Everywhere.
Uptown, downtown, wherever
the wheels will take us.
The back side of the moon.
Okay, we're
coming, we're coming.
Want to go to a party?
♪ Uptown, downtown,
back of the moon ♪
♪ High as a cloud
and free as a goose ♪
♪ Hang loose
♪ Come on, fancy me a tune
♪ Take off your shoes
and pass out the juice ♪
♪ We're gonna have a party
♪ We'll fly like
a wild balloon ♪
♪ We're gonna have a party
♪ Won't stop till
the fireworks pop ♪
♪ Don't let it come
back too soon ♪
♪ Too soon
♪ Uptown, downtown,
back of the moon ♪
♪ Too soon
♪ Uptown, downtown,
back of the moon ♪
♪ Uptown, downtown,
back of the moon ♪
♪ Craziest ride but
it's gonna be okay ♪
♪ Let's all wave goodbye
till we're out of sight ♪
♪ And float away
as high as a kite ♪
The kite, the kite.
You are at heaven's gate
and the stars begin to rise
in the bed of flowers that lies.
Oh Manhattan, look at the sky.
We are standing before the...
Skies.
That's right.
Skies.
Water, water, everywhere.
I was thinking of Los Angeles.
Is that where you're from?
Uh huh.
I've lived 23 years
of my life near water.
From the little pool at my home
to the ocean 10
minutes away from home.
That's what life is about,
an ode to sun, sand, ski, surf.
When I was a kid, I
thought the whole world
was one big swimming pool
with a little patch of patio
for Cokes and cocktails.
When I was a kid,
I thought the whole
world was a warehouse.
Why?
My parents kept everything,
absolutely everything.
Old newspapers, shoes,
even a pot of beef
stew was saved
until the last potato was eaten.
Sounds like the Depression.
Post-Depression, pre-war.
What a combination.
What did your father do?
My father was in the
carpeting business.
That made life a little
difficult, you see,
no one was really interested
in having a carpet
when there wasn't enough
clothes to put on your back.
Money meant everything.
What did your father do?
Psychoanalyst.
You know, one of those experts
that borrows your watch,
tells you the time, and
charges you 50 bucks.
Sounds like a very
stimulating environment.
I hated it.
What brought you to New York?
I lived with my
father for a while
after my mother divorced him.
I was fooling around
with one of his clients,
a pretty Oriental starlet.
I would tell her what my
father was really like
and she would tell him
during the sessions.
So my father and I had it
out, he gave me an ultimatum.
Either go to work
or join the army.
The Peace Corps was
big at the time,
so I joined the Peace Corps.
They sent me to Sierra
Leone, and I was maybe...
That's in West Africa.
Right, just below Liberia.
Smaller than a
postage stamp, really.
I was supposed to teach English.
Then when I got there, the
Peace Corps supervisor said
that I was to teach
baseball to the Temne tribe.
It seems that a rival
tribe, the Mende,
already had a baseball team.
So I said screw you.
And I got sacked.
And luckily, some Greek
businessman I met there
needed an English interpreter.
Do you speak Greek?
Well, I'm one quarter Greek.
Anyway, he spoke broken
English, I spoke broken Greek,
so we survived.
He took me all over
Africa and then to Greece.
I love Greece, that's
my most favorite country.
Just to be able to
roam through the rooms
of the temple of Zeus.
I loved it there too.
I never wanted to come back.
Why did you?
I was caught growing marijuana
in my employer's garden
and I was deported.
I'm not as wild as I once
was though, once upon a time.
For one thing, I have a steady
business here, regular...
Picking up ladies.
Now if that's your
regular business,
you're in a lot of trouble.
You're the first lady I
really tried to pick up.
Oh.
Really.
Your green eyes captivated me.
They're hazel.
Oh.
Christine?
Would you make love to me?
I've never been
propositioned that way.
It's the only way I know.
I'm not a great lover,
I never have been.
You know, they say that
if you love somebody,
really love somebody,
then there isn't...
You don't have any problem.
Christine.
Please let me love you.
Mary.
Hi, Jamie, what's up?
Can I talk to you alone?
Sure.
You two go ahead, I'll
catch up to you, okay?
Did you finish that report
on the Pacific Islands?
No.
How's it coming along?
The teacher says my
topic is too broad,
I'll have to narrow it down.
Why?
You wrote this for me?
Yeah.
Gee, thanks.
Now when my mother calls
you to sit, make an excuse.
Just say you can't make it.
Why?
I got my reasons.
Yeah, and I'll
lose three dollars.
Then you can't
have the report.
Okay, you've got a deal.
Can I take it?
Yeah.
Thanks, Jamie.
Sorry I took so long.
Gee, he's groovy.
So cute.
He's neater than Phil.
Hey, cut it out, will you?
I'm his babysitter
and that's all.
Really?
Do you know how old he is?
10.
So what?
I once kissed a
boy who was eight.
And boy, let me tell
you, he was some kisser.
You know what?
Blue's your color, Mom.
Wrap this one, please.
Let's go over to the
boys department now
and we'll buy you a
new suit, alright?
Mom, in the last two weeks
I've gotten two new shirts,
a new light meter, and five
extra dollars for pocket money.
Now you want to
get me a new suit?
You deserve it.
Why?
Because you worked
so hard on your film.
Oh, it's not finished yet.
I have the whole thing to
edit over the summer vacation.
Well, I feel bad
that I haven't seen you
for the past couple weeks.
But you've been so
busy with your clients.
Let's buy a wild
hat then, alright?
Business is booming.
Alright.
You going out tonight?
There's an interior decorator
from Los Angeles in town,
she's looking for
some paintings.
But Mary can't sit.
So?
So I don't know
any reliable sitters.
Don't worry, I'll just
cancel the appointment.
Don't cancel because of me.
I could stay home by myself.
As a matter of
fact, I'd like to.
You sure?
Yes, Mom.
Then that's very
thoughtful of you, darling.
Maybe I will, just this once.
Oh, come on, move
it, car, let's go!
What do we do now?
Wait.
How long?
Till they come out.
What's going on, chico?
You made a deal.
Okay, okay, big shot.
Hey, can I look
through your camera?
Okay.
Tell me about your husband.
That's breaking
the rules, isn't it?
Look, if you don't want to
answer me, you don't have to.
What do you want to know?
Well, how did you meet him?
At college.
Do you love him?
I loved him,
while he was alive.
He's dead?
He died two
years ago in a plane crash.
Then who are you
hiding me from?
No one.
Then why do I drop you off
at the corner all the time?
Do you live alone?
I live with Jamie, my son.
Can I meet him?
Let's have your plan, chico.
If you stick up a gas
station, you only get about $20.
Right?
But if you had a
key to those pumps,
at night when the
station closes,
you could take out
maybe 20 or 30 gallons
without the owner even knowing.
Could take them
weeks to find out.
Great, but how
do I get the key?
Make another key
in the morning.
Then slip that one on the desk
without anyone seeing you,
alright?
Hey!
Who was that chick
you were following?
My mother.
Dad, what is orgasm?
Didn't you learn about it
in your sex education course?
No.
Well, when a man and
woman have intercourse,
the orgasm is the peak
of sexual excitement.
It's something like
a climax, an ending.
Ah.
Where'd you hear the word?
I read it in your
article for the magazine.
Oh, oh, that orgasm.
And the phrase
was political orgasm,
meaning the peak of
political excitement.
Do you understand what you read?
How come your name
wasn't at the bottom?
That's the policy.
See, when I write a story,
it's rewritten by a
special group of writers.
Then it's edited by
a different group.
Is that good?
No, I don't like it.
You know, I always
wanted to write a novel
but somehow I don't have
the guts to give up my job.
Maybe I've forgotten
what I wanted to say.
You know, when you grow up, I
don't want you to compromise.
Jamie.
Darling, I didn't know
you'd still be up.
I was reading.
You know that lady
from Los Angeles?
I have the funniest stories
to tell you about her...
Mom, I'm tired.
Can I please be excused?
Okay, honey.
Thank you, good night.
Good night.
Oh, for Christ's sakes,
Chris, Jamie is your son,
not your husband.
How long you gonna keep this up?
And what if he finds out
that you've been lying?
I feel like I'm split in two.
I know that they're
oceans apart.
You love the man?
Yes.
Is he good?
In bed?
He has possibilities.
Has he proposed?
Twice so far today.
You wanna marry him?
I think so.
Oh, well, look.
Why don't you take the
afternoon off and go to the park
and feed the pigeons and
kind of think things out.
What will we do with
our Argentinian painter?
Oh, well, let me
take care of him.
Look, life is bigger than art.
Oh really?
Who says so?
My guru.
You're the only broad I know
who goes to a psychiatrist
and a guru at the same time.
I know, I need all
the help I can get.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Hiya.
Hi.
Peter, this is Jamie.
Jamie, this is Peter.
How do you do.
How do you do, Jamie.
Um...
A nice house.
Sorry.
Would everybody like
an afternoon drink?
I'll have a Coke.
Me too.
What grade are you
in in school, Jamie?
Sixth.
Did you skip?
Yes.
Anything, school?
Guess it's okay.
I thought that
we'd go to the zoo
but I don't know,
you're a different sort.
Don't tell me I'm
mature for my age.
Okay.
As long as you don't tell
me I'm young for mine.
That's obvious.
Look, I don't blame
you for trying to cut me.
I don't have to cut you.
Jamie, I won't forget who
gave me my first break, fellow.
Thanks, Peter.
Thank you for a
lovely afternoon.
You're welcome.
I'll call you.
Okay.
Did you have fun?
At someone else's expense?
I'm ashamed of you, Jamie.
I've never been so
embarrassed in all my life.
Your intelligence
isn't worth 10 cents
if you don't know
how to respect...
If you don't know how to
respect another human being.
Peter was trying
to be nice to you
and you were trying to
make a fool out of him
with your camera.
Now all you managed to succeed
in doing is looking ill-bred.
Can I be excused?
You can do anything you want.
John.
Bourgeois
values in technology.
Neil...
A piece of shit.
Don't, Douglas!
Oh, for Christ's sakes,
don't bring up Beckett to me!
Why the hell not?
Because Beckett never
protested about bans...
Just a minute, just
a minute, just wait.
Stop shouting.
I'm not shouting,
you're shouting!
I'm all done listening to you.
May I come in?
I won't see him anymore.
Then you'll just
like him more.
But I love you
very, very much.
Do you love him?
Yes.
Then you have to see him.
Oh, but he wants to
come and live with us.
Do you want him to?
I don't know, I...
I'm not sure.
Can't you love us both?
Of course I can.
According
to God's holy ordinance,
do you, Christine,
take this man, Peter,
for your lawfully wedded
husband, to have and to hold
from this day forward,
for better or for worse,
in sickness or in health,
for richer or for poorer,
until death do you part?
I do.
Place the ring.
What a catastrophe.
Have you got the ring?
This often happen, I'm sorry.
Take this
copper one, it will do.
Thank you.
I now pronounce
you man and wife.
It'll only be two weeks
but I'll call you every night
at dinnertime, okay?
Bye.
So long.
Chris, bye, I
love you very much.
Whatever happened
to your wedding ring?
What?
The one I gave
you at the altar.
Oh, you're a fine one to ask.
Don't you remember
I sold it to pay
for typing your doctorate?
How could I forget that?
You better not, ever.
Fade in, the locale's a
posh New England restaurant
overlooking the bay, right?
But remember, your mother is
pretending to be my secretary
and she makes a
reservation for a table
in the name of His Excellency
San Christovo Rafael Jolidas.
The town is very small and
the word spreads quickly,
everyone hears about it.
So we go into the restaurant,
I give them my pidgin Spanish.
Excuse me.
The local banker, he was
waiting in the restaurant for us
and he insisted that we
be his guests for dinner.
And the banker didn't want
to insult the foreign dignitary
so he starts slurping too.
And the two of us slurping away,
we sound like Niagara Falls.
That's very funny.
Come back again.
You too, huh?
Goodbye, Mrs. Osmond.
Remember tomorrow we
have a date together, eh?
Okay.
Great, good, good night.
You want to?
Now?
Mmhm.
I don't know.
Well.
Maybe in the morning.
Okay.
No, I can't.
Why?
Got an early appointment.
Well then some
other time, alright, darling?
How about some Scrabble?
Alright.
Where's the set?
Where is everybody,
is this a ghost town?
Hey!
We got it made.
We got it made!
How?
City hall bought the idea,
buying six tours a week
for the entire summer.
Underprivileged kids.
They're sending me the
purchase order next week.
Congratulations,
that's terrific.
Come on, let's go out.
Why?
Why, because I have a whole
box of fireworks, that's why.
With Vesuvius sparklers,
incredible things.
Come on, let's go celebrate.
Hi, Jamie, what's going on?
Happy fun father's birthday.
But today isn't...
Come on.
Your father seems
like a lot of fun.
He's a funny man.
You don't call
me to babysit anymore.
Do you miss me?
You're different.
Hey, Jamie, when are you
gonna make a movie about me?
Come on, darling.
Over thy moons
now do I prophecy.
Which like dumb moths
do open their ruby lips
to beg the voice and
utterance of my tongue.
Excellent.
I think that you've got
an actor in the family.
You know, when I was his
age, I couldn't even read.
That's because
of the school he goes to.
It's very progressive, you know.
But how costly is it?
Two long ones a year.
Oh, but it was worth it.
Yeah, I guess so.
His IQs have all been
consistently above average.
What do you want to be
when you grow up, Jamie?
Jamie is going
to be a senator.
Anything but journalism.
Or teaching.
Jamie and I have
other plans, right, son?
Hey, Mom, guess what
the next production
in Shakespeare in the Park is?
What?
Julius Caesar.
We must try to catch it.
I wonder what time it is.
I must get Peter up.
Good morning.
Hello.
Come
on, it's time for breakfast.
I want you for breakfast.
Peter, come on.
Come on, later.
Darling, come on.
Okay, everybody, it's
time to wrap it up.
Is that Douglas?
Mmhm.
Good skier.
Funny, I always imagined
him to be taller.
He had more of his cuticles
than you have in your head.
Jamie, stand up!
And turn off that machine.
Now you just go into your
room and you can stay there
until I tell you to come out.
I'm sorry, Peter.
Oh, that's okay.
Darling.
Jamie, Jamie.
It's alright, darling, it's
just a bad dream, I'm here now.
It's alright, darling.
Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.
Please, just...
It's alright, darling.
Jamie, Jamie.
Jamie, Jamie.
Oh.
Come on then, you want to play?
Let's play catch.
Huh?
I have a fastball that's superb.
Had conditions been right,
I'd be in the major
leagues right now.
Come on, Jamie, let's see.
Wanna box?
Wanna spar a few rounds?
I'll tell you what, I'll
make a deal with you.
You teach me how
to play Scrabble
and I'll teach you how to box.
Okay?
Mommy, can I go on the swings?
Well, all of the
symptoms are of regression.
The stammering sometime.
He hasn't touched his
editing for three days.
Do you know what he
did this morning?
He went back to playing
with his old toys.
I think he's
trying to reach out to you.
Well, he doesn't have to try.
I'm here.
Do you think it's
going to affect his IQ?
Now come on, I
really don't think
that we should be worrying
at this stage about IQs.
It's all my fault, I never
should have hollered at him.
Mom, where's my blue shirt?
It's in your
top drawer, Jamie.
I can't find it.
It must be in the
laundry then, darling.
How about wearing
the orange one?
I don't like that one.
What's wrong with it?
I don't like it.
Alright.
How about...
How about this one?
We just bought it
a couple weeks ago
and you only wore it once.
Okay.
Okay.
Here you go.
Hey, look, I gotta...
Oh, I'm sorry, Peter.
I'll be in the
kitchen in a minute.
No, don't bother,
I had coffee.
I've got to go now.
My next tour begins
in 15 minutes.
Bye!
Hey, Fellini!
You better start
cutting your film today.
All my tourists have
been asking for you.
Come in.
What's the matter, darling?
Mommy, I'm frightened.
Can I sleep in your bed?
Jamie, you're old enough
to sleep in your own bed.
I know, but just
for a little while.
Come on, get the ball!
Now go home and
tell your mommy
that you're still a virgin.
It's going through
the deep chasms
of the Grand Canyon now.
Is anyone else with us?
Just you and I.
Okay, let's go
to Mount Rushmore.
Alright, Mount Rushmore.
Packed?
We're not gonna go.
I already
made hotel reservations.
Well, I guess you
better cancel 'em.
What happened?
Jamie, would you be
a sweetheart, honey,
and go get me a bottle of
shampoo from the drug store?
Just tell them to charge
it to our account, okay?
Okay.
Look.
Jamie is very shook up.
He was beaten up
by some kids today
and I really can't go
away for the weekend,
not after this has happened.
I've already called
Madge and I've told her
that we're not gonna
bring him over.
Well, why don't we all go?
We'll get a room for Jamie.
Well, I can't really do that.
You see, I promised him
he could go to the museum
and he's got his heart set
on that Shakespeare festival
in the park tomorrow night.
Well, what about my vacation?
I've been looking forward to it.
What about me?
What about you?
My needs.
Well, they're taken
care of, aren't they?
How?
Well, I love you, now don't I?
When was the last
time we made love?
I didn't know the
license specified dates.
Well, it does
specify that I exist.
Oh.
Peter, I acknowledge
your existence.
Yeah, how do you show it?
By reading Human Sexual
Inadequacy in the living room
while I'm waiting
for you in bed?
Maybe you should read it.
Look!
I don't want to argue.
I'm tired.
I just want to have some fun.
Why can't we all go
away for the weekend?
It's too nerve-wracking
at this point.
Jamie needs me here at home.
Oh, come on, Christine,
stop dramatizing.
I'm not dramatizing,
it's a fact.
You don't have to wave your
flag of motherhood at me.
I know you've done
your best with Jamie,
but leave him alone sometimes.
He'll be better off.
Let him be!
Don't you realize
Jamie has a problem?
He's hung up on me.
Oh yeah?
Maybe you're hung up on him!
What does that mean?
For two months, when we
first started going out,
you hid the fact
that you had a son.
Why?
What does that got
to do with anything?
Could it be that you
felt guilty about us,
as if you were betraying
your own child?
What the hell do you know
about bringing up a child?
I was a kid once
too, remember?
And a screwed up one at that,
thanks to my goddamn
intellectual parents.
Well, nothing much
seems to have changed.
I'm gonna stay that way,
honey, because I can't help it
and you like it.
The way to your heart
is through your nipples,
so if you want, I'll
start having nightmares
so I can cuddle up at
night with you, huh?
And I'll start pulling the bits.
"Mommy, I'm frightened,
can I sleep in your bed?"
Please shut up!
It's the truth
and you know it!
Get out, leave me alone.
I'm leaving you alone.
For good.
I'm sorry.
Please don't touch me.
How long has he been gone?
Two weeks.
Chris.
You miss him?
Yeah.
Do you know where he is?
He sleeps in the cemetery
and he gets drunk every night
and he calls me and he tells
me he wants to come home.
Why don't you let him?
Because he's...
Immature.
And I know it wouldn't work.
Well then, what
are you gonna do?
I don't know what
I'm going to do.
I'm gonna get a separation,
maybe I'll get a divorce.
What about counseling?
He doesn't believe in that.
I've put this too high.
Chris, are you busy tonight?
No, why?
Well, I just thought
if you weren't busy,
maybe you could come
with me to my yoga class.
See, tonight we're
gonna meditate.
You're able to really
think things out.
Honestly, I practically
saved our marriage that way.
I'll think about it, okay?
The United Nations
provided the four structures.
General assembly,
secretarian, library,
and conference buildings.
I don't know why they call it...
Hello?
Hello, testing?
Testing, one...
Alright, you little bastards,
I've had about enough of you!
Now if you want to fight,
I'll fight you all at once
or one at a time.
You, the big fat grin on
your big fat face, come here.
It makes me so appealing
when I dance in my basket,
I show a lot of feeling.
Oh, it's gorgeous
to be graceful.
Oh, kiss your chin...
Listen, Jamie, I can't
stand these movies anymore.
I think I'm copping out.
Okay.
You can watch them
though if you want to.
No, that's okay,
I'm tired too.
Good night.
Good night.
You okay?
Yeah.
You brush your teeth?
How did you get in?
Fire escape.
What do you want?
My wife.
Get out, Peter.
Peter.
Peter.
Peter!
You okay?
Yes, darling, it's
alright, darling.
Peter just came in.
You can go back to bed.
Fine, just terrific!
You just go back
to bed, darling.
Peter!
No.
Just stay from me,
just stay away, Peter.
Oh!
Oh, Peter.
Oh.
You know, Peter came back
and is gonna stay with us.
Yeah?
That's all.
Well, what do you
think about that idea?
What idea?
His coming back.
My mother likes it.
What about you?
Well, she fusses
over him like a...
Well, come on.
Oh, I guess he's okay.
He's a pretty clever man.
He really knows how
to handle things.
Yeah, like what?
I don't know, like things.
I wish you'd let
me in on your secret.
I was just thinking
that I could do some
pretty clever things too.
All that caressing
and everything.
I mean, can't you just do it?
You have to be excited.
But I am excited now.
I mean physically excited.
Your body has to be excited.
Why?
Because you can't
do it unless you are.
Things won't work right.
Well, how can you tell
if you're excited enough?
I can tell.
How?
See, it's hard.
Of course, silly,
I'm wearing a bra.
It's hard underneath also.
How do you know?
I can tell.
Take off your bra
and I'll show you.
Wow.
It is hard.
Really.
Touch it.
That's weird.
Good weird or bad weird?
Good weird.
You can kiss it if you like.
Where'd you learn
about that stuff?
I read books too, you know.
That is weird.
What else do you do to
make someone excited?
You have to take off the
rest of your clothes first.
Okay.
Now you take yours off,
otherwise it's not fair.
That's nice.
Do it again.
Jamie, do you think
we could do it?
I wouldn't do it with
any of my boyfriends
but it would be
alright with you.
I mean, you know all
about it and everything.
And I like you.
You said yourself it's
okay if people have
a sincere affection
for each other.
And I do like you, really.
Besides, it's safe
with you, isn't it?
You sure you want
to do it, Mary?
I guess.
Yes, I do.
Alright.
Well?
There's supposed to be a bed.
Well, isn't the couch okay?
I suppose.
Do you want me to lie down?
I don't know.
It's okay, Jamie.
We'll figure it
out for ourselves.
Maybe if we both sit down.
It won't work that way.
I'm sure of it.
I've got an idea.
Oh.
Did it hurt?
No, no.
It feels weird.
And nice.
Mary, maybe we better stop.
I don't know what to do.
Just a little more.
Mary, please, let's stop.
I tell you what, I'll
take a movie of you,
then we'll do it, okay?
Just a little more, Jamie.
I can't do it, I can't!
I don't...
Jamie?
Jamie.
Hey, it's alright.
You were doing fine.
Honest.
Look, you want to
take some movies?
Jamie, just want to tell you,
I never felt that
nice with anyone.
I wasn't scared or anything.
It was really nice.
I mean, really, Jamie.
Go away.
Mary, please go away.
Oh god.
Well, he was on the platform
at some sort of weird angle
and the camera
fell on the track.
And suddenly the train comes
zooming out of the dark
and he must have
gotten panicky and...
Look, I trust it doesn't
have to go further than this.
Mr. Simon, why
didn't he tell me all this
in the first place?
Okay, let's have it.
What?
What were you
doing on the tracks?
I lost my way.
On the tracks?
Yeah.
Oh, come on, Jamie.
I know you, you're so goddamn
smart you'd find your way out
of the black hole of Calcutta.
Now start talking.
I know what you
were doing there.
What?
You were trying to
scare your mother,
that's what you were
doing on the tracks.
Oh, you'd be spotted and
pulled in by the police.
But I came to get you, not her.
You are indeed a devoted son.
Please don't tell my mother.
Why not?
I'll make it up.
I'll pay you back.
♪ Your funny face
♪ Your funny clothes
♪ Your funny hair
♪ Your funny toes
♪ Your funny eyes
♪ Your funny nose
♪ Do I have to be like you?
♪ Do I have to look like?
♪ Do I have to talk like?
♪ Do I have to be like?
♪ Be like you
♪ Your funny face
♪ Your funny clothes
♪ Your funny hair
♪ Your funny toes
♪ Your funny eyes
♪ Your funny nose
♪ Do I have to look like?
♪ Do I have to talk like?
♪ Will I ever be like you?
♪ Do I have to look like?
♪ Do I have to talk like?
I can't stand to watch it.
It's funny.
Like hell it's funny.
How did you find the film?
Mother's intuition.
I went into his room last night
and he became very
secretive about his editing,
so I knew he was
up to something.
We got a little Jimmy Bond
living in the apartment.
He must have followed us by
cab, the little son of a gun.
Spying on us and then
he's filming it to boot.
It's all part of
the new morality.
Well, whatever is new
about it, it sure is ugly.
My own son.
He's trying to make
a liar out of me.
Oh, he's been fed a lot
of lies too, you know.
You wanted to go away
on a long vacation.
Yeah.
Let's make plans.
What about Jamie?
Jamie's going
to camp this year.
Don't you think
you should discuss this
with his doctor?
I'm his mother, aren't I?
Look, you two are very close.
Don't be rash, Christine.
Think things over before...
Think things over?
What the hell do you think
I've been doing all my life?
Think before you act,
look before you leap,
watch your step, watch your
money, watch your, watch...
Watch your own shadow.
Yes, Dad, you're right.
Yes, Mom, I'm sorry.
Yes, Douglas, I went
to the cleaner's.
Yes, you're right, Douglas, we
can't take that fishing trip.
We have to have a plan,
let's make a plan,
a plan for everything.
Yes, Madge, we run
a tight little ship.
Oh, it's time for
Jamie's bottle.
Don't shove it in his mouth,
Douglas, look at the chart.
Is it time for his
toilet training?
You're right, Douglas.
I could go less to
the hairdresser,
perhaps just once a week.
We must eat out twice a week.
We should make love.
Once a week.
We run our family like
a little corporation.
Now don't holler
in front of Jamie
because Jamie
understands everything.
We have to set an example.
Darling little Jamie,
he's going to be a senator
because you're so
brilliant, aren't you,
you goddamn little brat!
I shouldn't be
talking like this.
I'm supposed to be the
mother of the year.
I want out, I just...
Want to get off this
goddamn merry-go-round.
I'm sorry, Peter, you want
to tell me a funny story?
Hiya, Madge.
Jamie, you be careful of that.
Put that back.
This bust still isn't sold?
Shh.
You know that every day
your mother reminds me
that we could have sold
that to Jorgeson for $800?
I'm sure you'll get 12.
You know what?
I don't think I'd mind going
into business with you.
Your sandwich is here.
And you're gonna be late
for your lunch date.
Right.
See you later.
Okay.
Is it good?
What do you think of
going to camp this summer?
Mommy, you know
I don't like camps.
Well, how do you know?
You've never tried.
I know.
It's a waste of time.
Besides, I have
to finish my film.
You can take your
equipment with you.
It's a very good camp.
They specialize in painting
and drama, water skiing,
and there'll be lots
and lots of free time
to do whatever you want to do.
Isn't that expensive?
You don't have to
worry about that.
Peter is going to
make it a gift.
Was it his idea?
I think it's a good idea.
The camp is in Newbury, it's
just two hours from home.
We can put you on the
bus at the bus terminal
and the counselor will
meet you on the other end,
it's as simple as that.
Do you want me to go?
I want you to do whatever
will make you happy.
I think it's very nice
of Peter, don't you?
We may go away at the same time.
Peter's been working
awfully hard, you know?
Do you love me, Mommy?
Of course I love you, why?
Remember you once said
you could love both of us?
I do love both of you.
Just because you're going to
camp doesn't mean that we...
Doesn't mean that
I don't love you.
My god, Jamie, you're
all I've got in the world
besides Peter.
And if I don't want to go?
Well, you don't have to go.
You can come with us.
Besides, Peter will
probably be talking to you
about it anyway.
So it's time to pay him back.
What did you say?
Nothing.
I'll go to camp.
Are you excited about camp?
I guess so.
Why guess?
Well, I don't know.
How long will you be gone?
Didn't my mother tell you?
No, she didn't.
I think you're angry with me.
Why should I be
angry with you?
Alright, I'll answer
your question.
I'll be at the camp
for eight weeks.
When I come back, I'll be a
fine painter, a great actor,
and a fabulous water skiier.
I'll be an exceptional child.
And don't forget, I was
born by natural birth.
What does that mean?
My mother had me
by natural birth.
How do you know about that?
I heard my mother
telling Madge.
What'd you hear her say?
I don't remember it anymore.
Tell me everything
that you think about it.
I don't remember it anymore.
I really don't remember!
I don't!
The pain, Madge,
honestly, it was beautiful.
It was a wild...
Joy, a wonderful...
It was like an orgasm.
Oh, wow.
I never thought of it like that.
I mean, if it was a sexual
experience for you, Chris,
then maybe it was a sexual
experience for Jamie too.
What size wedge do you want?
The three by
seven, the standard.
Oh yeah, one more thing.
Meet me at the terminal
parking lot at eight, not 8:30.
And don't be late, alright?
Okay, okay, I'll be there.
Okay.
Do you want me to
pack this blue shirt?
I'll write to you every day.
Yeah.
You'll take care of
yourself, won't you?
You won't leave
me, will you, Mommy?
Of course not, never.
No matter what happens?
What's gonna happen, darling?
You're gonna have
a marvelous time.
I know.
We're gonna be fine, Mom.
Oh, Mom, I forgot my typewriter.
In the apartment?
Yeah, it'll only take me
two minutes to pick it up.
No problem, I'll
let you off here.
I've gotta keep circling the
block, there's no parking.
I'll pick you up in
front of the building.
Gate 18.
In the west terminal.
Coach to Catherine and,
boarding gate 125.
Real transit to...
We may drive to
Newburg this weekend.
Can we?
Sure, why not?
You don't have to.
Well, I want to.
We're gonna miss you, Jamie.
Oh, Mom, I just remembered.
This afternoon, Jorgeson called.
He asked me to give you
an important message.
What?
He told me to tell
you he wants that bust,
no matter what the price.
He'll make a deal with you.
You should bring it over to
him at the Hotel Park East
at eight.
Well, it's 12
minutes to eight now.
Well, can I drive you?
No, no, you stay here with
Jamie and I'll take a cab.
Darling, you have
a very good trip.
I love you very much.
Okay, enjoy yourself
and please take care
of yourself, okay?
Good thing you told her.
Hey, what was the score on
the Yankee game last night?
Yankees won three to two.
Three to two!
Oh, I left in the
seventh inning.
What happened?
Will you take this, please?
Thank you.
Jamie.
Take it in case you need it.
I know I won't.
Take it.
No.
Okay.
Have a good time.
Bye.
Hey, I saw your mother.
She find a cab?
She seemed to
be in a big hurry.
Where did she go?
Something urgent came up.
She had to go to
the Park East Hotel.
Where to?
Good luck, whatever
you are up to.
Thanks.
I hope you're not
bumping off anyone.
Why not?
You're joking, chico.
Maybe.
Be here at 10.
Is that you, Jamie?
Is that you?
Hello, hello?
Hello, can anyone hear me?
Son of a bitch.
Jamie!
Jamie, op...
Jamie, open the door.
Jamie, I know you're in there.
This is crazy,
now open the door!
You can't have your
mother this way, Jamie!
Goddamn it, Jamie,
open the door!
I'm sorry, I really
don't believe you.
Why don't you go
see for yourself?
Take your shoe off
the couch, please.
If you believe this is so true,
then why didn't you just go
to the police
yourself right away?
I didn't want to risk my.
Look, lady, I don't...
Please come to the desk.
Excuse me.
I've checked, Mrs. Simon,
there is no Mr. Jorgeson here
at the hotel, and we have
no reservation in his name.
Oh.
I can give you a ride.
Help!
Help!
Can anyone here me out there?
Fire!
Help, fire!
Help!
Jamie?
Jamie, come on, open
the door, Jamie.
Jamie, you're not a
murderer, are you?
Come on, Jamie, open the door.
Jamie!
Let me in, Jamie!
Jamie, please, Jamie!
Jamie!
Jamie.
You can't go in there, lady!
Jamie!
Jamie!
Peter, oh!
Help me, please, someone.
Peter.
Jamie!
Jamie!
Jamie!
Mommy, don't, don't!
Jamie, Jamie!
Jamie!
She's trapped!
We have get her.
Mom, answer me!
Mom!
Help.
Help.
Help!
Help, somebody!
Help!
Somebody help my mother!
His grandparents
came yesterday,
but Jamie wouldn't see them.
He even stopped seeing Dr.
Wilpert after one session.
Yeah, I know.
Are you going to stay
around again all afternoon?
I don't know.
Why don't you stay
away for a few weeks?
Give his wounds a
little time to heal.
My own wounds to heal.
Thanks.
♪ You promise me a
wish made on a star ♪
♪ Can really still come true
♪ And I wish you'd
never go away ♪
♪ Please promise you will stay
♪ I promise too
♪ I promise you I'll never,
never ever go away from you ♪
never ever leave ♪
♪ And never leave me lonely
♪ Promise me you'll never
ever go and ♪
♪ Afternoons will
slowly slip away ♪
♪ You know that
I'll come running ♪
♪ We'll say hello and warm
our hands beside the fire ♪
♪ And talk a while
♪ You promise me you'll
never go too far ♪
♪ And never leave me crying
♪ You promise me a
wish made on a star ♪
♪ Can really still come true
♪ And I wish you'll
never go away ♪
♪ Each promise you may stay
♪ And I will promise too
♪ I promise you I'll never,
never ever go away from you ♪
♪ I'll never, never
ever go away from you ♪
♪ I'll never, never
ever go away from you ♪
What kind of a tic would
you find on the moon?
What kind of a tic would
you find on the moon?
Um...
Give up?
Yeah.
A lunatic.
Oh boy.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Did you sell that
putrefaction yet?
No.
Jorgeson made
another offer today.
$800.
I hope you didn't take it.
No.
You should get 12.
You know what
Madge said today?
You have a good eye for art.
Really?
You're putting me on.
Honest.
Do anything new on your movie?
Which one, home or school?
The one you're
supposed to shoot.
Oh yeah, cast my actors.
Oh, good.
Did Mary call yet?
She came over personally
to say she'll be here
at eight sharp.
That's good.
Mommy, I don't
need a babysitter.
We agreed...
But I can stay alone.
The last time you
were on your own,
you were seen bicycling down
the middle of 5th Avenue
without headlights.
But I had to buy film
before the store closed.
Do you want me to go out?
Yes.
Then the sitter is in.
Why are you in
the art business?
Why are you in the
frozen food business?
Whenever I came to New York,
I couldn't stand the French
food they served here
and so I decided that I
should perform,
export here.
Well, you see, I
was a bored housewife.
My husband who worked
on Time Magazine,
that is my late husband, he
traveled most of the week
and I needed an
involvement and...
That's it.
In Paris, a bored
housewife finds a lover.
Oh, well, in New York
she opens a gallery.
All you American women.
What humor.
It is as sanitary
as your bodies.
That really you?
Yeah.
You were cute.
So were you.
Who took this film?
My dad.
Oh.
Everyone says I should model.
I'm a perfect seven.
But I don't know if
I'd photograph well.
I mean, I'd want to see what
I'd look like first, you know?
Mm-hm.
Listen, Mary, you
do what you want to.
I'm just gonna finish
up and go to bed, okay?
Got the picture.
Hey, listen,
you've gotta see something.
Oh, I heard about that.
What will it take Jamie?
8 1/2?
Why not?
Dada.
Me your Dada.
Johnson picked up by
the Goldwaters' speech.
Well, I think Kennedy approved.
That had it.
I can't
hear you, say it again?
Good night, Mary.
Good night, Jamie.
Jamie's listening, be quiet.
You dummy.
Jamie just went to the kitchen.
So what?
So what?
I don't wanna lose
my three dollars.
Please, Phil.
Phil, this is Jamie.
Hi, Phil.
Hi, kid.
Hey, Phil, you still a virgin?
Hey, look, kid.
I mean, don't you think that...
Well, I mean...
What do you mean?
You're still a kid.
You didn't answer my question.
Well, I've had my
moments, I guess.
You swore to me!
I didn't mean it.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
I'm still a virgin too.
Well, I guess I'd
better be pushing off.
Bye, Phil.
Oh boy, did you clobber him.
He sounded like a
strangled chicken.
Poor guy was probably
more scared than you were.
How do you know I was scared?
Aren't you a virgin?
Maybe, maybe not.
Besides, what do
you know about it?
I know what I know.
Like what?
Like premarital intercourse
is perfectly normal.
Just so long as the
persons involved
have a sincere affection
for each other.
Oh, you mean fooling
around's alright.
Well, actually our society
doesn't okay fooling around.
I mean, straight out.
But in other societies
like the Pacific Islands,
all kinds of sexual
relationships are perfectly okay.
Except incest, of course.
That's a universal taboo.
Glad you didn't tell Phil
about the Pacific Islands.
Jamie.
Yeah?
What do they do in
the Pacific Islands?
Thank you for
a lovely evening.
It was my pleasure.
Oh, Mary.
Everything is alright.
Jamie's asleep.
Thank you, darling,
thank you very much.
Good night.
Good night, Robert.
Oh, must we end
this charming evening?
Well, Robert, I really think...
Love is such a
precious cadeaux.
Uh, Robert, you're
tickling me, it's really...
Please.
Get out.
Mon petit.
Why, you should be in bed.
Get out.
Jamie, go to your room.
Please believe me, Christine,
there's absolutely
no cause for alarm.
Well, certainly Jamie
overreacted last night,
but you must remember,
he's in adolescence.
At 10?
It's all biology.
Bodies are changing due to
nutrition, control of disease.
Girls today menstruate
earlier than they did, say,
a generation ago.
The boys, the latency
period is shorter.
By nine or 10, they're in
a period of pre-puberty,
almost adolescence.
Remember, these kids belong
to the media generation.
It's not that they're
precocious, they're just smarter.
And if they seem more sexually
aware, it's because they are.
What happened to
innocent childhood?
Where have all
the children gone?
Black?
Yes, please, and one sugar.
You know, when Jamie was
a baby I used to think
what fun we would have
when he grew a little.
And now...
Remember that Jamie is a
product of his own times,
not of our remembered childhood.
What about the Oedipal?
What about it?
Well, you know, since Douglas's
death, Jamie's changed.
Sometimes I think it...
It's almost as if he's trying
to take his father's place.
How differently Jamie
would have behaved
with Douglas alive,
we'll never know.
There's one other
thing, doctor.
Should I date or shouldn't I?
Hi, Madge.
Good morning.
What is this?
Happy birthday.
Oh, you darling.
Thank you for
remembering, how sweet.
But what is CAM?
Oh, that's Computerized
Astrological Matchmaking Service.
Well, you just fill out the form
and the computer figures out
in whose moon your
ascendant is rising.
And I marry my
ascendant next Sunday.
No, that's passe.
You see, with this service
you have to promise
never to marry
any of your dates.
Happy birthday.
Here, I think.
That looks good.
Uh huh.
Oh look, if you're not doing
anything special tonight,
we're showing an old Jeanette
MacDonald Nelson Eddy movie
at our house.
I know Jamie is crazy
about the old ones.
We'd love to have you,
you wanna come over?
Thank you very much, Madge,
but tonight is movie
night at our house too.
You see, every birthday, be it
mama bear's or teddy bear's,
we have the ceremony.
I make moussaka
and Jamie runs off some eight
millimeter film of his dad.
Hello?
Hi, Mom.
Look...
Hi, Jamie!
Is the shooting over?
Yeah, but something's come up.
The teacher's taking the class
to see Shakespeare in the park.
I forgot to tell you
about it this morning.
Can I go?
The school bus will drop
me home about 11, okay?
Alright.
See you later.
Oh, Jamie.
Yes, Mom?
Uh...
What?
Nothing, honey.
Have a good time.
Okay, bye, Mom.
Shh.
Explore your own city!
Discover its hidden
treasures, beautiful parks,
friendly ghettos.
How many of you know the
Bronx is the only part
of New York City on the
mainland of the United States?
Is that a fact?
If you're an honest taxpayer,
then you should see it.
Sir, want to take a tour?
What tour?
The tour for New Yorkers only.
I'm Italian.
Want to take a tour
for New Yorkers only?
I'm happy to.
Do you have change
for a quarter?
No, thanks a lot
though anyway, no.
You'll have a
wonderful time, Miss!
I haven't any money,
thank you anyway.
New York by night,
New York by day.
You don't need money!
Money's not important.
As a tribute to
your great beauty,
I would like to
prove to the world
that Peter Simon's Tours caters
to only the most beautiful
women in the world.
Free of charge!
But I need you!
You're crazy, boy.
I'm not crazy!
Come on my tour, please.
Please, please, please, please.
Look, you're
embarrassing me, mister.
She won't come with me!
I need you, please!
Just sit in my bus.
You'll be the example to
our indifferent New Yorkers.
May Allah be with
you, Jesus beside you,
and Moses leading the way.
Miss, explore your own city.
See all the lively
nooks and crannies,
all the unusual markets.
A tour of New York
for New Yorkers only.
Fuck off.
Look, I've changed my mind.
I'd like to get off.
Passengers will please
not move down the aisles
while the vehicle's in motion.
Would you just stop the car?
Passengers will not
shout at the driver.
I'm not shouting.
Have you ever seen Manhattan?
I live here!
You've never seen it.
Wow, this is out of sight.
As soon as I saw you,
I said to myself "No,
he won't go for that."
What about the turquoise one?
Ah, the Ethiopian jablan.
Magnificent.
A dress made of pure
silk, handwoven.
Try this?
I have that in size six.
You live around here, young man?
No.
Mary, please stop moving around.
Could you move in front
of the other light?
That's it, right there.
Come on, stand up straight.
Jamie, I've gotta
work on my report.
What are you working on?
Turn around.
The family unit in
the Pacific Islands.
Oh.
How much?
$22.50.
Okay.
Central Park, where
children play by day
and fairies play by night.
If you're lucky, a
children people.
Can I offer you anything,
coffee, tea, or me?
Tea.
You're now passing
through Snobsville, New York.
Art Row, where artists
paint with their toes,
where frames are
prettier than pictures.
Have you ever
been to any of the galleries?
They're all frauds.
They make
a lot of people happy.
And a lot of people rich.
Touche.
Why?
I own a gallery.
Are you rich?
No.
Too bad.
Next stop, Wall Street.
You sure?
I'd be happy to drive you home.
No, thank you.
I could ask your name.
You could.
But why spoil a
beautiful thing, right?
Right.
Thank you.
It's been fun.
Good night.
It's just wonderful.
I went out to buy the dress.
I wanted it to be a surprise.
Oh, darling, I'm so
sorry I wasn't home
when you came in with it,
but it's the sweetest, loveliest
present I ever got, ever.
How was the movie?
What movie?
Oh, I never got to the movie.
I got forced into taking
a tour of Manhattan.
Are you hungry?
No.
Who forced you?
Neither am I.
What do you say we open
up the champagne, okay?
Who forced you?
Yeah, you wanna
know who's a virgin?
Let me go!
You're a midget.
Get him, man,
don't be a chicken.
Yeah, you better run
home to your mother
before he mashes you.
What's wrong, kid, you forget
your bottle or something?
Freaking.
Think you know everything?
That's it, man.
Speak, man, speak.
He made a pass at my girl.
This kid?
Little bastard!
Okay, go home.
Vanish.
This scene is over.
Lover boy, huh?
Real hombre.
And tough too.
Gonna make some bread?
Least they got gas stations,
drugstores, that kind of stuff.
Could use you.
Call me when you stick
up Chase Manhattan.
Alright, just have your
relay races the same way
you would any other time, okay?
And tell Andy not
to look at the camera.
Andy, don't look
at the camera.
Okay.
Anything else?
No.
Alright, any questions?
I saw the pope
on TV last night
and he doesn't wear
a stupid jockey cap.
Listen, we're not
trying to imitate anybody,
we're just having fun.
Like Halloween, right, Jamie?
I brought this cap that
looks just like the pope.
That's.
May I wear it?
Jamie's the director.
Alright, put it on.
This film's an
improvisation anyway.
Alright, take your places.
Scene five, take three.
Ready?
Action!
♪ Your funny face
♪ Your funny clothes
♪ Your funny hair
♪ Your funny toes
♪ Your funny eyes
♪ Your funny nose
♪ Do I have to be like you?
♪ Do I have to look like?
♪ Do I have to talk like?
♪ Do I have to be like?
♪ Do I have to do?
♪ Do like you?
You know, Jamie had an
IQ of 143 when he was six.
Scared his father so much he
took him to a psychiatrist
right away.
Well, I'll tell you.
When I was six, I
had an IQ of 145.
My parents weren't scared.
♪ Do I have to look like?
♪ Do I have to talk like?
♪ Do I have to be like you?
♪ Be like you?
♪ I wanna be like you
Later, Jamie.
See you, Andy.
How was your computer date?
Short circuited.
Was he that bad?
Look, it's the worst,
you have to do me a favor.
What?
Play sick.
But Mom, I've been
invited to a party.
I'll make a bargain with you.
I'll take you to dinner and
then you can take a ride
on the Staten Island
Ferry with me.
And when you come home, you can
watch the Late Show with me.
You mean I can
stay up tonight, Mom?
Hold on.
Alright.
Get the line going.
Come on.
Don't touch anything.
Anything is scratched
and I'll have to buy it.
She looks like Sophia Loren.
Just like Sophia Loren.
Do you have any Gauguin?
Who?
Gauguin.
Oh, you like Gauguin?
Yes, he painted that
beautiful red dog.
Oh, well, everything
would look red to you.
I'm interested in the washes.
He uses a lot of
pink, doesn't he?
What about the ceiling,
what color do you call this?
I would say
that's an off cocoa, sir.
That's a sprinkler
system over there.
Look at the texture
of that, everyone.
I mean, it makes you want
to just feel and reach out
and eat the colors, doesn't it?
And what is that back there?
That's a girl.
Oh, dear me, it
looks like Elsie.
I thought that was Elsie.
There must be 125 art
galleries in this area
and I've come in 50 of
them in the past two weeks.
You must like art.
Why didn't you tell me
the name of your gallery?
Why didn't you ask my name?
What's your name?
Christine Sutton.
I love you, Christine.
Have coffee with me.
I have to take
care of the shop.
My partner's out to lunch.
Oh, you can take 10 minutes.
Put a sign in the window.
You're in the
middle of a bus tour.
No, out of towners.
No stamina.
They need a breather, you know?
Watch.
Everybody back in
the bus, let's go!
Come on, back in the bus!
Gallery's closed
for lunch, let's go!
Come on, Mrs. Sturgess, pop
art is bad for your eyes.
Let's go.
Right back in, come on, come on.
I'm sorry, they're closing.
Come on.
I'm sorry, I can't do it.
They close the
gallery for lunch.
They have to eat too, you know.
Hurry up, dear, let's get in.
Let's get in,
hurry up, hurry up.
Hurry up.
Get comfortable now.
That's it.
So I had a choice, become
mayor of New York or a guide.
So I looked into the
requirements of being mayor.
A candidate has to shake
about 6,000,000 hands,
kiss thousands of babies,
eat about 50 pizzas
and 30 blintzes a day.
By the time you become
mayor, the hand is crippled,
you have bad breath, and
you carry around Alkaseltzer
with you all day.
So I became a guide.
But why a guide?
A guide, you only
risk one finger.
You know, on your right
folks, is Lady Liberty,
a gift of the people of
France to the United States.
On your left is the
World Trade Center.
Very original.
Please marry me,
Christine Sutton.
Please.
For all you know,
I may be married.
We'll fly to Mexico
and arrange for the judge
to give you a divorce.
Then we'll have him marry us.
Are you married?
Don't you think it's
about time you get back
to your tea party?
Let us out of here.
I'm, feel just like fleas.
Hey, calm down.
Hey, hold back.
Go on about your way.
Excuse me, excuse me.
I got this.
This your bus, fella?
Yes, it is.
And these are your tourists?
Yeah.
Well, what do
you mean going off
and leaving them like that?
I didn't leave them.
I quarantined them.
You what?
Measles.
Who has the measles?
Measles?
There are no
measles in this bus.
That flat-faced kid
in the back there.
Those are freckles.
Watch out.
Where's the guy
with the measles?
There he is.
Hey, would you get the
kid with the measles up?
There he is.
He doesn't look like
he's sick to me.
What do you think?
No, there's spots.
You see 'em?
Let's take to the
hospital anyway.
We'll give you an escort.
Let's go, come on.
Officer, this man is lying.
Listen, lady, we
can't take any chances.
Funny city, is it?
It's a very funny city,
I don't think that...
Meet me here at
three o'clock tomorrow!
I can't.
What's your phone number?
I'm having a party.
Be here at three tomorrow.
Jamie, it's been five minutes.
It is your move.
What does zug mean?
I know the word exists but
I'm not sure of the meaning.
Well, I challenge.
Okay, if you say so.
Hello?
Hi.
What happened here?
Everyone's waiting here for you.
What?
This is Peter, remember me?
How did you get my number?
I have your address too.
Now listen, Christine,
you can't break our date.
I mean, all my friends
are waiting in the bus
for the guest of honor.
Look, I can't make it now.
I'll appeal to your vanity.
You're unquestionably going
to be the most
beautiful woman there.
Now your competition isn't much.
We have a Miss
America 1930 here,
three chondodystrophic dwarfs,
and the entire basso section
from the Mormon
Tabernacle Choir.
The ugliest group of
people you've ever seen
in your entire life.
Christine, if you don't
come to the party,
I'm going to bring everyone
over to your house.
Oh!
Don't do that, alright?
I'll meet you at the
gallery in half an hour.
Who was that, Mom?
A client from out of town.
He's only got a few
hours and he's interested
in buying a painting.
Oh.
It's a little early, I know,
but I'm gonna call Mary anyway.
Where's the party?
Right here.
Where is everybody?
They'll come in time.
When?
Right now.
You missed.
Hey, you want
to go to a party?
No, man.
Great party.
Where you going, where?
Everywhere.
Uptown, downtown, wherever
the wheels will take us.
The back side of the moon.
Okay, we're
coming, we're coming.
Want to go to a party?
♪ Uptown, downtown,
back of the moon ♪
♪ High as a cloud
and free as a goose ♪
♪ Hang loose
♪ Come on, fancy me a tune
♪ Take off your shoes
and pass out the juice ♪
♪ We're gonna have a party
♪ We'll fly like
a wild balloon ♪
♪ We're gonna have a party
♪ Won't stop till
the fireworks pop ♪
♪ Don't let it come
back too soon ♪
♪ Too soon
♪ Uptown, downtown,
back of the moon ♪
♪ Too soon
♪ Uptown, downtown,
back of the moon ♪
♪ Uptown, downtown,
back of the moon ♪
♪ Craziest ride but
it's gonna be okay ♪
♪ Let's all wave goodbye
till we're out of sight ♪
♪ And float away
as high as a kite ♪
The kite, the kite.
You are at heaven's gate
and the stars begin to rise
in the bed of flowers that lies.
Oh Manhattan, look at the sky.
We are standing before the...
Skies.
That's right.
Skies.
Water, water, everywhere.
I was thinking of Los Angeles.
Is that where you're from?
Uh huh.
I've lived 23 years
of my life near water.
From the little pool at my home
to the ocean 10
minutes away from home.
That's what life is about,
an ode to sun, sand, ski, surf.
When I was a kid, I
thought the whole world
was one big swimming pool
with a little patch of patio
for Cokes and cocktails.
When I was a kid,
I thought the whole
world was a warehouse.
Why?
My parents kept everything,
absolutely everything.
Old newspapers, shoes,
even a pot of beef
stew was saved
until the last potato was eaten.
Sounds like the Depression.
Post-Depression, pre-war.
What a combination.
What did your father do?
My father was in the
carpeting business.
That made life a little
difficult, you see,
no one was really interested
in having a carpet
when there wasn't enough
clothes to put on your back.
Money meant everything.
What did your father do?
Psychoanalyst.
You know, one of those experts
that borrows your watch,
tells you the time, and
charges you 50 bucks.
Sounds like a very
stimulating environment.
I hated it.
What brought you to New York?
I lived with my
father for a while
after my mother divorced him.
I was fooling around
with one of his clients,
a pretty Oriental starlet.
I would tell her what my
father was really like
and she would tell him
during the sessions.
So my father and I had it
out, he gave me an ultimatum.
Either go to work
or join the army.
The Peace Corps was
big at the time,
so I joined the Peace Corps.
They sent me to Sierra
Leone, and I was maybe...
That's in West Africa.
Right, just below Liberia.
Smaller than a
postage stamp, really.
I was supposed to teach English.
Then when I got there, the
Peace Corps supervisor said
that I was to teach
baseball to the Temne tribe.
It seems that a rival
tribe, the Mende,
already had a baseball team.
So I said screw you.
And I got sacked.
And luckily, some Greek
businessman I met there
needed an English interpreter.
Do you speak Greek?
Well, I'm one quarter Greek.
Anyway, he spoke broken
English, I spoke broken Greek,
so we survived.
He took me all over
Africa and then to Greece.
I love Greece, that's
my most favorite country.
Just to be able to
roam through the rooms
of the temple of Zeus.
I loved it there too.
I never wanted to come back.
Why did you?
I was caught growing marijuana
in my employer's garden
and I was deported.
I'm not as wild as I once
was though, once upon a time.
For one thing, I have a steady
business here, regular...
Picking up ladies.
Now if that's your
regular business,
you're in a lot of trouble.
You're the first lady I
really tried to pick up.
Oh.
Really.
Your green eyes captivated me.
They're hazel.
Oh.
Christine?
Would you make love to me?
I've never been
propositioned that way.
It's the only way I know.
I'm not a great lover,
I never have been.
You know, they say that
if you love somebody,
really love somebody,
then there isn't...
You don't have any problem.
Christine.
Please let me love you.
Mary.
Hi, Jamie, what's up?
Can I talk to you alone?
Sure.
You two go ahead, I'll
catch up to you, okay?
Did you finish that report
on the Pacific Islands?
No.
How's it coming along?
The teacher says my
topic is too broad,
I'll have to narrow it down.
Why?
You wrote this for me?
Yeah.
Gee, thanks.
Now when my mother calls
you to sit, make an excuse.
Just say you can't make it.
Why?
I got my reasons.
Yeah, and I'll
lose three dollars.
Then you can't
have the report.
Okay, you've got a deal.
Can I take it?
Yeah.
Thanks, Jamie.
Sorry I took so long.
Gee, he's groovy.
So cute.
He's neater than Phil.
Hey, cut it out, will you?
I'm his babysitter
and that's all.
Really?
Do you know how old he is?
10.
So what?
I once kissed a
boy who was eight.
And boy, let me tell
you, he was some kisser.
You know what?
Blue's your color, Mom.
Wrap this one, please.
Let's go over to the
boys department now
and we'll buy you a
new suit, alright?
Mom, in the last two weeks
I've gotten two new shirts,
a new light meter, and five
extra dollars for pocket money.
Now you want to
get me a new suit?
You deserve it.
Why?
Because you worked
so hard on your film.
Oh, it's not finished yet.
I have the whole thing to
edit over the summer vacation.
Well, I feel bad
that I haven't seen you
for the past couple weeks.
But you've been so
busy with your clients.
Let's buy a wild
hat then, alright?
Business is booming.
Alright.
You going out tonight?
There's an interior decorator
from Los Angeles in town,
she's looking for
some paintings.
But Mary can't sit.
So?
So I don't know
any reliable sitters.
Don't worry, I'll just
cancel the appointment.
Don't cancel because of me.
I could stay home by myself.
As a matter of
fact, I'd like to.
You sure?
Yes, Mom.
Then that's very
thoughtful of you, darling.
Maybe I will, just this once.
Oh, come on, move
it, car, let's go!
What do we do now?
Wait.
How long?
Till they come out.
What's going on, chico?
You made a deal.
Okay, okay, big shot.
Hey, can I look
through your camera?
Okay.
Tell me about your husband.
That's breaking
the rules, isn't it?
Look, if you don't want to
answer me, you don't have to.
What do you want to know?
Well, how did you meet him?
At college.
Do you love him?
I loved him,
while he was alive.
He's dead?
He died two
years ago in a plane crash.
Then who are you
hiding me from?
No one.
Then why do I drop you off
at the corner all the time?
Do you live alone?
I live with Jamie, my son.
Can I meet him?
Let's have your plan, chico.
If you stick up a gas
station, you only get about $20.
Right?
But if you had a
key to those pumps,
at night when the
station closes,
you could take out
maybe 20 or 30 gallons
without the owner even knowing.
Could take them
weeks to find out.
Great, but how
do I get the key?
Make another key
in the morning.
Then slip that one on the desk
without anyone seeing you,
alright?
Hey!
Who was that chick
you were following?
My mother.
Dad, what is orgasm?
Didn't you learn about it
in your sex education course?
No.
Well, when a man and
woman have intercourse,
the orgasm is the peak
of sexual excitement.
It's something like
a climax, an ending.
Ah.
Where'd you hear the word?
I read it in your
article for the magazine.
Oh, oh, that orgasm.
And the phrase
was political orgasm,
meaning the peak of
political excitement.
Do you understand what you read?
How come your name
wasn't at the bottom?
That's the policy.
See, when I write a story,
it's rewritten by a
special group of writers.
Then it's edited by
a different group.
Is that good?
No, I don't like it.
You know, I always
wanted to write a novel
but somehow I don't have
the guts to give up my job.
Maybe I've forgotten
what I wanted to say.
You know, when you grow up, I
don't want you to compromise.
Jamie.
Darling, I didn't know
you'd still be up.
I was reading.
You know that lady
from Los Angeles?
I have the funniest stories
to tell you about her...
Mom, I'm tired.
Can I please be excused?
Okay, honey.
Thank you, good night.
Good night.
Oh, for Christ's sakes,
Chris, Jamie is your son,
not your husband.
How long you gonna keep this up?
And what if he finds out
that you've been lying?
I feel like I'm split in two.
I know that they're
oceans apart.
You love the man?
Yes.
Is he good?
In bed?
He has possibilities.
Has he proposed?
Twice so far today.
You wanna marry him?
I think so.
Oh, well, look.
Why don't you take the
afternoon off and go to the park
and feed the pigeons and
kind of think things out.
What will we do with
our Argentinian painter?
Oh, well, let me
take care of him.
Look, life is bigger than art.
Oh really?
Who says so?
My guru.
You're the only broad I know
who goes to a psychiatrist
and a guru at the same time.
I know, I need all
the help I can get.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Hiya.
Hi.
Peter, this is Jamie.
Jamie, this is Peter.
How do you do.
How do you do, Jamie.
Um...
A nice house.
Sorry.
Would everybody like
an afternoon drink?
I'll have a Coke.
Me too.
What grade are you
in in school, Jamie?
Sixth.
Did you skip?
Yes.
Anything, school?
Guess it's okay.
I thought that
we'd go to the zoo
but I don't know,
you're a different sort.
Don't tell me I'm
mature for my age.
Okay.
As long as you don't tell
me I'm young for mine.
That's obvious.
Look, I don't blame
you for trying to cut me.
I don't have to cut you.
Jamie, I won't forget who
gave me my first break, fellow.
Thanks, Peter.
Thank you for a
lovely afternoon.
You're welcome.
I'll call you.
Okay.
Did you have fun?
At someone else's expense?
I'm ashamed of you, Jamie.
I've never been so
embarrassed in all my life.
Your intelligence
isn't worth 10 cents
if you don't know
how to respect...
If you don't know how to
respect another human being.
Peter was trying
to be nice to you
and you were trying to
make a fool out of him
with your camera.
Now all you managed to succeed
in doing is looking ill-bred.
Can I be excused?
You can do anything you want.
John.
Bourgeois
values in technology.
Neil...
A piece of shit.
Don't, Douglas!
Oh, for Christ's sakes,
don't bring up Beckett to me!
Why the hell not?
Because Beckett never
protested about bans...
Just a minute, just
a minute, just wait.
Stop shouting.
I'm not shouting,
you're shouting!
I'm all done listening to you.
May I come in?
I won't see him anymore.
Then you'll just
like him more.
But I love you
very, very much.
Do you love him?
Yes.
Then you have to see him.
Oh, but he wants to
come and live with us.
Do you want him to?
I don't know, I...
I'm not sure.
Can't you love us both?
Of course I can.
According
to God's holy ordinance,
do you, Christine,
take this man, Peter,
for your lawfully wedded
husband, to have and to hold
from this day forward,
for better or for worse,
in sickness or in health,
for richer or for poorer,
until death do you part?
I do.
Place the ring.
What a catastrophe.
Have you got the ring?
This often happen, I'm sorry.
Take this
copper one, it will do.
Thank you.
I now pronounce
you man and wife.
It'll only be two weeks
but I'll call you every night
at dinnertime, okay?
Bye.
So long.
Chris, bye, I
love you very much.
Whatever happened
to your wedding ring?
What?
The one I gave
you at the altar.
Oh, you're a fine one to ask.
Don't you remember
I sold it to pay
for typing your doctorate?
How could I forget that?
You better not, ever.
Fade in, the locale's a
posh New England restaurant
overlooking the bay, right?
But remember, your mother is
pretending to be my secretary
and she makes a
reservation for a table
in the name of His Excellency
San Christovo Rafael Jolidas.
The town is very small and
the word spreads quickly,
everyone hears about it.
So we go into the restaurant,
I give them my pidgin Spanish.
Excuse me.
The local banker, he was
waiting in the restaurant for us
and he insisted that we
be his guests for dinner.
And the banker didn't want
to insult the foreign dignitary
so he starts slurping too.
And the two of us slurping away,
we sound like Niagara Falls.
That's very funny.
Come back again.
You too, huh?
Goodbye, Mrs. Osmond.
Remember tomorrow we
have a date together, eh?
Okay.
Great, good, good night.
You want to?
Now?
Mmhm.
I don't know.
Well.
Maybe in the morning.
Okay.
No, I can't.
Why?
Got an early appointment.
Well then some
other time, alright, darling?
How about some Scrabble?
Alright.
Where's the set?
Where is everybody,
is this a ghost town?
Hey!
We got it made.
We got it made!
How?
City hall bought the idea,
buying six tours a week
for the entire summer.
Underprivileged kids.
They're sending me the
purchase order next week.
Congratulations,
that's terrific.
Come on, let's go out.
Why?
Why, because I have a whole
box of fireworks, that's why.
With Vesuvius sparklers,
incredible things.
Come on, let's go celebrate.
Hi, Jamie, what's going on?
Happy fun father's birthday.
But today isn't...
Come on.
Your father seems
like a lot of fun.
He's a funny man.
You don't call
me to babysit anymore.
Do you miss me?
You're different.
Hey, Jamie, when are you
gonna make a movie about me?
Come on, darling.
Over thy moons
now do I prophecy.
Which like dumb moths
do open their ruby lips
to beg the voice and
utterance of my tongue.
Excellent.
I think that you've got
an actor in the family.
You know, when I was his
age, I couldn't even read.
That's because
of the school he goes to.
It's very progressive, you know.
But how costly is it?
Two long ones a year.
Oh, but it was worth it.
Yeah, I guess so.
His IQs have all been
consistently above average.
What do you want to be
when you grow up, Jamie?
Jamie is going
to be a senator.
Anything but journalism.
Or teaching.
Jamie and I have
other plans, right, son?
Hey, Mom, guess what
the next production
in Shakespeare in the Park is?
What?
Julius Caesar.
We must try to catch it.
I wonder what time it is.
I must get Peter up.
Good morning.
Hello.
Come
on, it's time for breakfast.
I want you for breakfast.
Peter, come on.
Come on, later.
Darling, come on.
Okay, everybody, it's
time to wrap it up.
Is that Douglas?
Mmhm.
Good skier.
Funny, I always imagined
him to be taller.
He had more of his cuticles
than you have in your head.
Jamie, stand up!
And turn off that machine.
Now you just go into your
room and you can stay there
until I tell you to come out.
I'm sorry, Peter.
Oh, that's okay.
Darling.
Jamie, Jamie.
It's alright, darling, it's
just a bad dream, I'm here now.
It's alright, darling.
Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.
Please, just...
It's alright, darling.
Jamie, Jamie.
Jamie, Jamie.
Oh.
Come on then, you want to play?
Let's play catch.
Huh?
I have a fastball that's superb.
Had conditions been right,
I'd be in the major
leagues right now.
Come on, Jamie, let's see.
Wanna box?
Wanna spar a few rounds?
I'll tell you what, I'll
make a deal with you.
You teach me how
to play Scrabble
and I'll teach you how to box.
Okay?
Mommy, can I go on the swings?
Well, all of the
symptoms are of regression.
The stammering sometime.
He hasn't touched his
editing for three days.
Do you know what he
did this morning?
He went back to playing
with his old toys.
I think he's
trying to reach out to you.
Well, he doesn't have to try.
I'm here.
Do you think it's
going to affect his IQ?
Now come on, I
really don't think
that we should be worrying
at this stage about IQs.
It's all my fault, I never
should have hollered at him.
Mom, where's my blue shirt?
It's in your
top drawer, Jamie.
I can't find it.
It must be in the
laundry then, darling.
How about wearing
the orange one?
I don't like that one.
What's wrong with it?
I don't like it.
Alright.
How about...
How about this one?
We just bought it
a couple weeks ago
and you only wore it once.
Okay.
Okay.
Here you go.
Hey, look, I gotta...
Oh, I'm sorry, Peter.
I'll be in the
kitchen in a minute.
No, don't bother,
I had coffee.
I've got to go now.
My next tour begins
in 15 minutes.
Bye!
Hey, Fellini!
You better start
cutting your film today.
All my tourists have
been asking for you.
Come in.
What's the matter, darling?
Mommy, I'm frightened.
Can I sleep in your bed?
Jamie, you're old enough
to sleep in your own bed.
I know, but just
for a little while.
Come on, get the ball!
Now go home and
tell your mommy
that you're still a virgin.
It's going through
the deep chasms
of the Grand Canyon now.
Is anyone else with us?
Just you and I.
Okay, let's go
to Mount Rushmore.
Alright, Mount Rushmore.
Packed?
We're not gonna go.
I already
made hotel reservations.
Well, I guess you
better cancel 'em.
What happened?
Jamie, would you be
a sweetheart, honey,
and go get me a bottle of
shampoo from the drug store?
Just tell them to charge
it to our account, okay?
Okay.
Look.
Jamie is very shook up.
He was beaten up
by some kids today
and I really can't go
away for the weekend,
not after this has happened.
I've already called
Madge and I've told her
that we're not gonna
bring him over.
Well, why don't we all go?
We'll get a room for Jamie.
Well, I can't really do that.
You see, I promised him
he could go to the museum
and he's got his heart set
on that Shakespeare festival
in the park tomorrow night.
Well, what about my vacation?
I've been looking forward to it.
What about me?
What about you?
My needs.
Well, they're taken
care of, aren't they?
How?
Well, I love you, now don't I?
When was the last
time we made love?
I didn't know the
license specified dates.
Well, it does
specify that I exist.
Oh.
Peter, I acknowledge
your existence.
Yeah, how do you show it?
By reading Human Sexual
Inadequacy in the living room
while I'm waiting
for you in bed?
Maybe you should read it.
Look!
I don't want to argue.
I'm tired.
I just want to have some fun.
Why can't we all go
away for the weekend?
It's too nerve-wracking
at this point.
Jamie needs me here at home.
Oh, come on, Christine,
stop dramatizing.
I'm not dramatizing,
it's a fact.
You don't have to wave your
flag of motherhood at me.
I know you've done
your best with Jamie,
but leave him alone sometimes.
He'll be better off.
Let him be!
Don't you realize
Jamie has a problem?
He's hung up on me.
Oh yeah?
Maybe you're hung up on him!
What does that mean?
For two months, when we
first started going out,
you hid the fact
that you had a son.
Why?
What does that got
to do with anything?
Could it be that you
felt guilty about us,
as if you were betraying
your own child?
What the hell do you know
about bringing up a child?
I was a kid once
too, remember?
And a screwed up one at that,
thanks to my goddamn
intellectual parents.
Well, nothing much
seems to have changed.
I'm gonna stay that way,
honey, because I can't help it
and you like it.
The way to your heart
is through your nipples,
so if you want, I'll
start having nightmares
so I can cuddle up at
night with you, huh?
And I'll start pulling the bits.
"Mommy, I'm frightened,
can I sleep in your bed?"
Please shut up!
It's the truth
and you know it!
Get out, leave me alone.
I'm leaving you alone.
For good.
I'm sorry.
Please don't touch me.
How long has he been gone?
Two weeks.
Chris.
You miss him?
Yeah.
Do you know where he is?
He sleeps in the cemetery
and he gets drunk every night
and he calls me and he tells
me he wants to come home.
Why don't you let him?
Because he's...
Immature.
And I know it wouldn't work.
Well then, what
are you gonna do?
I don't know what
I'm going to do.
I'm gonna get a separation,
maybe I'll get a divorce.
What about counseling?
He doesn't believe in that.
I've put this too high.
Chris, are you busy tonight?
No, why?
Well, I just thought
if you weren't busy,
maybe you could come
with me to my yoga class.
See, tonight we're
gonna meditate.
You're able to really
think things out.
Honestly, I practically
saved our marriage that way.
I'll think about it, okay?
The United Nations
provided the four structures.
General assembly,
secretarian, library,
and conference buildings.
I don't know why they call it...
Hello?
Hello, testing?
Testing, one...
Alright, you little bastards,
I've had about enough of you!
Now if you want to fight,
I'll fight you all at once
or one at a time.
You, the big fat grin on
your big fat face, come here.
It makes me so appealing
when I dance in my basket,
I show a lot of feeling.
Oh, it's gorgeous
to be graceful.
Oh, kiss your chin...
Listen, Jamie, I can't
stand these movies anymore.
I think I'm copping out.
Okay.
You can watch them
though if you want to.
No, that's okay,
I'm tired too.
Good night.
Good night.
You okay?
Yeah.
You brush your teeth?
How did you get in?
Fire escape.
What do you want?
My wife.
Get out, Peter.
Peter.
Peter.
Peter!
You okay?
Yes, darling, it's
alright, darling.
Peter just came in.
You can go back to bed.
Fine, just terrific!
You just go back
to bed, darling.
Peter!
No.
Just stay from me,
just stay away, Peter.
Oh!
Oh, Peter.
Oh.
You know, Peter came back
and is gonna stay with us.
Yeah?
That's all.
Well, what do you
think about that idea?
What idea?
His coming back.
My mother likes it.
What about you?
Well, she fusses
over him like a...
Well, come on.
Oh, I guess he's okay.
He's a pretty clever man.
He really knows how
to handle things.
Yeah, like what?
I don't know, like things.
I wish you'd let
me in on your secret.
I was just thinking
that I could do some
pretty clever things too.
All that caressing
and everything.
I mean, can't you just do it?
You have to be excited.
But I am excited now.
I mean physically excited.
Your body has to be excited.
Why?
Because you can't
do it unless you are.
Things won't work right.
Well, how can you tell
if you're excited enough?
I can tell.
How?
See, it's hard.
Of course, silly,
I'm wearing a bra.
It's hard underneath also.
How do you know?
I can tell.
Take off your bra
and I'll show you.
Wow.
It is hard.
Really.
Touch it.
That's weird.
Good weird or bad weird?
Good weird.
You can kiss it if you like.
Where'd you learn
about that stuff?
I read books too, you know.
That is weird.
What else do you do to
make someone excited?
You have to take off the
rest of your clothes first.
Okay.
Now you take yours off,
otherwise it's not fair.
That's nice.
Do it again.
Jamie, do you think
we could do it?
I wouldn't do it with
any of my boyfriends
but it would be
alright with you.
I mean, you know all
about it and everything.
And I like you.
You said yourself it's
okay if people have
a sincere affection
for each other.
And I do like you, really.
Besides, it's safe
with you, isn't it?
You sure you want
to do it, Mary?
I guess.
Yes, I do.
Alright.
Well?
There's supposed to be a bed.
Well, isn't the couch okay?
I suppose.
Do you want me to lie down?
I don't know.
It's okay, Jamie.
We'll figure it
out for ourselves.
Maybe if we both sit down.
It won't work that way.
I'm sure of it.
I've got an idea.
Oh.
Did it hurt?
No, no.
It feels weird.
And nice.
Mary, maybe we better stop.
I don't know what to do.
Just a little more.
Mary, please, let's stop.
I tell you what, I'll
take a movie of you,
then we'll do it, okay?
Just a little more, Jamie.
I can't do it, I can't!
I don't...
Jamie?
Jamie.
Hey, it's alright.
You were doing fine.
Honest.
Look, you want to
take some movies?
Jamie, just want to tell you,
I never felt that
nice with anyone.
I wasn't scared or anything.
It was really nice.
I mean, really, Jamie.
Go away.
Mary, please go away.
Oh god.
Well, he was on the platform
at some sort of weird angle
and the camera
fell on the track.
And suddenly the train comes
zooming out of the dark
and he must have
gotten panicky and...
Look, I trust it doesn't
have to go further than this.
Mr. Simon, why
didn't he tell me all this
in the first place?
Okay, let's have it.
What?
What were you
doing on the tracks?
I lost my way.
On the tracks?
Yeah.
Oh, come on, Jamie.
I know you, you're so goddamn
smart you'd find your way out
of the black hole of Calcutta.
Now start talking.
I know what you
were doing there.
What?
You were trying to
scare your mother,
that's what you were
doing on the tracks.
Oh, you'd be spotted and
pulled in by the police.
But I came to get you, not her.
You are indeed a devoted son.
Please don't tell my mother.
Why not?
I'll make it up.
I'll pay you back.
♪ Your funny face
♪ Your funny clothes
♪ Your funny hair
♪ Your funny toes
♪ Your funny eyes
♪ Your funny nose
♪ Do I have to be like you?
♪ Do I have to look like?
♪ Do I have to talk like?
♪ Do I have to be like?
♪ Be like you
♪ Your funny face
♪ Your funny clothes
♪ Your funny hair
♪ Your funny toes
♪ Your funny eyes
♪ Your funny nose
♪ Do I have to look like?
♪ Do I have to talk like?
♪ Will I ever be like you?
♪ Do I have to look like?
♪ Do I have to talk like?
I can't stand to watch it.
It's funny.
Like hell it's funny.
How did you find the film?
Mother's intuition.
I went into his room last night
and he became very
secretive about his editing,
so I knew he was
up to something.
We got a little Jimmy Bond
living in the apartment.
He must have followed us by
cab, the little son of a gun.
Spying on us and then
he's filming it to boot.
It's all part of
the new morality.
Well, whatever is new
about it, it sure is ugly.
My own son.
He's trying to make
a liar out of me.
Oh, he's been fed a lot
of lies too, you know.
You wanted to go away
on a long vacation.
Yeah.
Let's make plans.
What about Jamie?
Jamie's going
to camp this year.
Don't you think
you should discuss this
with his doctor?
I'm his mother, aren't I?
Look, you two are very close.
Don't be rash, Christine.
Think things over before...
Think things over?
What the hell do you think
I've been doing all my life?
Think before you act,
look before you leap,
watch your step, watch your
money, watch your, watch...
Watch your own shadow.
Yes, Dad, you're right.
Yes, Mom, I'm sorry.
Yes, Douglas, I went
to the cleaner's.
Yes, you're right, Douglas, we
can't take that fishing trip.
We have to have a plan,
let's make a plan,
a plan for everything.
Yes, Madge, we run
a tight little ship.
Oh, it's time for
Jamie's bottle.
Don't shove it in his mouth,
Douglas, look at the chart.
Is it time for his
toilet training?
You're right, Douglas.
I could go less to
the hairdresser,
perhaps just once a week.
We must eat out twice a week.
We should make love.
Once a week.
We run our family like
a little corporation.
Now don't holler
in front of Jamie
because Jamie
understands everything.
We have to set an example.
Darling little Jamie,
he's going to be a senator
because you're so
brilliant, aren't you,
you goddamn little brat!
I shouldn't be
talking like this.
I'm supposed to be the
mother of the year.
I want out, I just...
Want to get off this
goddamn merry-go-round.
I'm sorry, Peter, you want
to tell me a funny story?
Hiya, Madge.
Jamie, you be careful of that.
Put that back.
This bust still isn't sold?
Shh.
You know that every day
your mother reminds me
that we could have sold
that to Jorgeson for $800?
I'm sure you'll get 12.
You know what?
I don't think I'd mind going
into business with you.
Your sandwich is here.
And you're gonna be late
for your lunch date.
Right.
See you later.
Okay.
Is it good?
What do you think of
going to camp this summer?
Mommy, you know
I don't like camps.
Well, how do you know?
You've never tried.
I know.
It's a waste of time.
Besides, I have
to finish my film.
You can take your
equipment with you.
It's a very good camp.
They specialize in painting
and drama, water skiing,
and there'll be lots
and lots of free time
to do whatever you want to do.
Isn't that expensive?
You don't have to
worry about that.
Peter is going to
make it a gift.
Was it his idea?
I think it's a good idea.
The camp is in Newbury, it's
just two hours from home.
We can put you on the
bus at the bus terminal
and the counselor will
meet you on the other end,
it's as simple as that.
Do you want me to go?
I want you to do whatever
will make you happy.
I think it's very nice
of Peter, don't you?
We may go away at the same time.
Peter's been working
awfully hard, you know?
Do you love me, Mommy?
Of course I love you, why?
Remember you once said
you could love both of us?
I do love both of you.
Just because you're going to
camp doesn't mean that we...
Doesn't mean that
I don't love you.
My god, Jamie, you're
all I've got in the world
besides Peter.
And if I don't want to go?
Well, you don't have to go.
You can come with us.
Besides, Peter will
probably be talking to you
about it anyway.
So it's time to pay him back.
What did you say?
Nothing.
I'll go to camp.
Are you excited about camp?
I guess so.
Why guess?
Well, I don't know.
How long will you be gone?
Didn't my mother tell you?
No, she didn't.
I think you're angry with me.
Why should I be
angry with you?
Alright, I'll answer
your question.
I'll be at the camp
for eight weeks.
When I come back, I'll be a
fine painter, a great actor,
and a fabulous water skiier.
I'll be an exceptional child.
And don't forget, I was
born by natural birth.
What does that mean?
My mother had me
by natural birth.
How do you know about that?
I heard my mother
telling Madge.
What'd you hear her say?
I don't remember it anymore.
Tell me everything
that you think about it.
I don't remember it anymore.
I really don't remember!
I don't!
The pain, Madge,
honestly, it was beautiful.
It was a wild...
Joy, a wonderful...
It was like an orgasm.
Oh, wow.
I never thought of it like that.
I mean, if it was a sexual
experience for you, Chris,
then maybe it was a sexual
experience for Jamie too.
What size wedge do you want?
The three by
seven, the standard.
Oh yeah, one more thing.
Meet me at the terminal
parking lot at eight, not 8:30.
And don't be late, alright?
Okay, okay, I'll be there.
Okay.
Do you want me to
pack this blue shirt?
I'll write to you every day.
Yeah.
You'll take care of
yourself, won't you?
You won't leave
me, will you, Mommy?
Of course not, never.
No matter what happens?
What's gonna happen, darling?
You're gonna have
a marvelous time.
I know.
We're gonna be fine, Mom.
Oh, Mom, I forgot my typewriter.
In the apartment?
Yeah, it'll only take me
two minutes to pick it up.
No problem, I'll
let you off here.
I've gotta keep circling the
block, there's no parking.
I'll pick you up in
front of the building.
Gate 18.
In the west terminal.
Coach to Catherine and,
boarding gate 125.
Real transit to...
We may drive to
Newburg this weekend.
Can we?
Sure, why not?
You don't have to.
Well, I want to.
We're gonna miss you, Jamie.
Oh, Mom, I just remembered.
This afternoon, Jorgeson called.
He asked me to give you
an important message.
What?
He told me to tell
you he wants that bust,
no matter what the price.
He'll make a deal with you.
You should bring it over to
him at the Hotel Park East
at eight.
Well, it's 12
minutes to eight now.
Well, can I drive you?
No, no, you stay here with
Jamie and I'll take a cab.
Darling, you have
a very good trip.
I love you very much.
Okay, enjoy yourself
and please take care
of yourself, okay?
Good thing you told her.
Hey, what was the score on
the Yankee game last night?
Yankees won three to two.
Three to two!
Oh, I left in the
seventh inning.
What happened?
Will you take this, please?
Thank you.
Jamie.
Take it in case you need it.
I know I won't.
Take it.
No.
Okay.
Have a good time.
Bye.
Hey, I saw your mother.
She find a cab?
She seemed to
be in a big hurry.
Where did she go?
Something urgent came up.
She had to go to
the Park East Hotel.
Where to?
Good luck, whatever
you are up to.
Thanks.
I hope you're not
bumping off anyone.
Why not?
You're joking, chico.
Maybe.
Be here at 10.
Is that you, Jamie?
Is that you?
Hello, hello?
Hello, can anyone hear me?
Son of a bitch.
Jamie!
Jamie, op...
Jamie, open the door.
Jamie, I know you're in there.
This is crazy,
now open the door!
You can't have your
mother this way, Jamie!
Goddamn it, Jamie,
open the door!
I'm sorry, I really
don't believe you.
Why don't you go
see for yourself?
Take your shoe off
the couch, please.
If you believe this is so true,
then why didn't you just go
to the police
yourself right away?
I didn't want to risk my.
Look, lady, I don't...
Please come to the desk.
Excuse me.
I've checked, Mrs. Simon,
there is no Mr. Jorgeson here
at the hotel, and we have
no reservation in his name.
Oh.
I can give you a ride.
Help!
Help!
Can anyone here me out there?
Fire!
Help, fire!
Help!
Jamie?
Jamie, come on, open
the door, Jamie.
Jamie, you're not a
murderer, are you?
Come on, Jamie, open the door.
Jamie!
Let me in, Jamie!
Jamie, please, Jamie!
Jamie!
Jamie.
You can't go in there, lady!
Jamie!
Jamie!
Peter, oh!
Help me, please, someone.
Peter.
Jamie!
Jamie!
Jamie!
Mommy, don't, don't!
Jamie, Jamie!
Jamie!
She's trapped!
We have get her.
Mom, answer me!
Mom!
Help.
Help.
Help!
Help, somebody!
Help!
Somebody help my mother!
His grandparents
came yesterday,
but Jamie wouldn't see them.
He even stopped seeing Dr.
Wilpert after one session.
Yeah, I know.
Are you going to stay
around again all afternoon?
I don't know.
Why don't you stay
away for a few weeks?
Give his wounds a
little time to heal.
My own wounds to heal.
Thanks.
♪ You promise me a
wish made on a star ♪
♪ Can really still come true
♪ And I wish you'd
never go away ♪
♪ Please promise you will stay
♪ I promise too
♪ I promise you I'll never,
never ever go away from you ♪