Rink (2018) - full transcript

Okay, alright everybody we're ready

Here you go, Finn

I know.

Okay

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday dear, Finn

Happy Birthday to you

Make a wish for anything
you want in the world

Come on! What do you mean?

Right now?



One full day

This is one full day!

Twenty four hours!

Trust me, it had nothing to do with you

Please, say "hi" to Jimmy for me

You make everything so difficult

Fuck you!

Finn, no!

Come back!

Dad! Dad, no!

Dad, wait!

Wait!

Hey Finnegan

Um, that's
- that's not my name



I know

I just think it's a cute nickname.

What's the trouble with that?

Hey, can I see a question?

I think you already did.

Why do you look into this house so much. I see
you do it every time you drop off my newspaper.

I just know someone who
lives there. That's all.

Do you ever visit them?

Nope mmm, and they don't visit me

Do you wanna come inside for
some coffee. I just made a pot

I don't really drink coffee

I have tea

I kinda gotta get back to my route.

Right.

Hey, um, there's a party going on tonight,
you should come. I would love to see you there

Is it a college party?

Yeah, it's friends from school

I don't... I don't
really go to school

That's okay. You can bring
a friend if you'd like.

Will you at least think about it?

I'll think about it

Okay. Well, I'll send you
the address just in case

OK

OK

Bye?

One or two?

One

two

You know one of these days I would love
to hear that beautiful voice of yours

You better take notes off

I am

What are you doing today?

Going to the rink

No, you're not you're watching your sister

I have to work

Okay

If you're forcing me to watch Kate, why did
you ask what I was doing today for maladies mom?

Formalities

Mom, I have to go train

Okay, if it's that important
to you, you can take her with

That's... that's embarrassing.
What if people see?

Nobody goes to the rink.
I think you'll be fine

Okay, isn't Kate old
enough to do her own hair?

Once the mitts come off and
she learns to stop scratching

Okay, isn't she a little
too old for pigtails

Maybe, but it keeps the
boys away so it's fine by me

Will you two survive?

Yes

Hey, what's up, Mr. Hollenbeck?

Good morning, Finn, Kate

Mind if we, uh, go in?

Yeah go on in, I'll be in in a sec

Ok

Okay, Kate I asked Cosmo to meet me here
this morning, so try and act cool, alright?

Can you time me?

Great

Three two one go

Time!

Oh, 35:04 not bad for a warmup

You know if keep self congratulating yourself
you'll never beat your old records, my friend

Cosmo!

Finn

Kind of hard to do in skates

well

You better get back to work

Okay, I only came here for emotional and
only absolutely necessary physical support

Get back out there.

Got it

You know I ran the numbers last night

It's not looking too good

You know in order to achieve perfection
at something it's true one needs practice

But I needed to ask myself the question how
much practice does it take to make perfect

We all know the phrase, but I've found
that in my studies. It takes approximately

10,000 hours of practicing something
before achieving perfection at it

For Finn this means practicing at least four hours a day
six days a week. Take off one day for the Sabbath god rest

Ye merry gentlemen. We're looking at around one thousand two
hundred and forty eight hours a year, so it will take roughly

Point zero one two years for Finn to
achieve perfection at skating by then

He'll be much closer to
thirty far less flexible

His muscle mass will be on the downhill and
don't even get me started on his bone dexterity.

Oh, and the competitions in four weeks, so

But I'm trying to remain positive,
you know focus on the good

Like maybe no one will show up

Or maybe no one else in the competition
will be as dedicated and skilled

One can hope

He's really going all-out for this, huh?

Yep

Ever since you posted that flyer in the window
last spring it's been all he can talk about

"Cosmo, I'm gonna be the best roller
skater in the Midwest. I guarantee it"

Well, the kid doesn't need a
competition to prove he's great

Hey

Watch your posture

Come in

You still need those files right?

Bring 'em on in

OK

Uhhh

You white people are so boring

Alright, fine

I joined one of those dating
sites. There. Isn't that exciting.

Which one?

Christian Mingle? Black People Meet?

No, no

Um, it's one of the ones on my phone

Tinder!

That's the one

So you been swipin' this weekend

Apparently too much so

You got a match

And we may or may not be meeting tonight.

What girl you just built all
the tea? Who was this guy?

He's just someone from
around town seemed nice.

Well, look at Barb's
gonna get herself a man

That is not what this is.
It's just... I was just curious

Then that's fine. Just do your thing.

You don't think it's

Weird or anything do you?

Why would it be weird?

With the kids and everything

They're old enough

But I'm not

My identity has been wrapped up in being mom for so
long I thought it was time I started exploring new things

Such as

What it's like to be me

All right, what'll that be today

Uh, what was that an hour and a half? $7.50

Keep the change

Thanks, I need it

Tell you boys I've been running the numbers
lately and things don't look very good around here.

What?

I hate to say it

Okay, ah

But I have to train for the competition

I'll be back here every day up until then
that has to give you some good business, right?

every little bit helps

if only Cosmo had a way of
inventing a money machine

I tried that once, almost got arrested so

I'll be back tomorrow.

All right guys. Have a good day

Hey, wait a minute before you go, uh

There's something I
would want to run past you

What's that?

I have a date tonight, and
I'm kind of nervous about it

Oh

Is that why you were brushing
your teeth in the parking lot?

No

So you guys are young

Sure, you have no problem with the ladies.
You got any tips for an old fellow like me

That is not my department

It's okay, buddy. I got you

You know in my experience, I've found
that ladies love being romanced by words

You know be a poet say something like
you're fresher than tomorrow's milk, baby

chicks dig that

Also, um ladies love pheromones, you know biologically
speaking. So just try to smell like yourself

Unless, uh

She doesn't like you and then

Try to smell like somebody else

duly noted

All right, well, uh, see you tomorrow

I'm worried about what Mr. Hollenbeck said

Don't be I mean that place has
been open since before we were born

Ain't gonna close anytime soon.

Yeah, but, the economy

I've wanted this as far
back as I can remember

Relax, everything will work itself out

Yeah, but what about Murphy's Law you talk about
that a lot. If something can go wrong it will

Look

science is right about basically
everything it's factual, but

This is different

It's fate

Your fate is to win this competition.

I sure, hope so

Hey, I, uh, got invited to a party today

What?

Yeah by uh by that girl
from high school, Lily

Um, she said I could bring friends.

Did you tell her you only have one

No!

Oh, and why is that?

cuz I don't I have friends as

as in multiple

Friends, it's plural.

Yeah, really?

Yes. Really.

Okay. Well, who are these other friends?

People!

No, no, I want names

Okay, yo... your family
can be friends too

Anyway, we're not going

We have to!

Why

because

It's a college party, right?
Which means there'll be girls there

College girls.

Who... Who cares? We
don't go to college?

Why would we go?

Because, um, a pretty girl
invited us so we should go.

in case you haven't noticed

we don't really fit in
at those kind of parties.

Okay. Well maybe this time

We try

Okay, uh, what about my sister? My mom will
be out late and I can't leave her home alone. I

I think you just and your
answer, right? She'll be out late

So we'll go out have fun and then
we'll be back before she's even home

Do you think we'd have any fun?

I would

I'll try

Yes!

Okay, but

We can leave before my mom gets back.

Yes

and we can leave if I'm not having any fun

Also, yes

Okay, fine

This is gonna be the time of our lives

Um, but first we need to
find you something to wear

Hi, excuse me, I'm meeting someone
tonight and you must be them

You are radiating

The woman said to look for the most beautiful person
in the room and well, you're quite obviously her

May I sit down?

Of course

I'm Leonard, you must be Denise

Um, no

That would be someone else. Thank
you for your kind words though

That's the last time I
swap emails for a blind date

Voila

This is it. This is your outfit

Are you sure it looks okay?

It's perfect. You know, you're lucky
my dad taught me about men's fashion

Excuse me, miss?

Yes?

Are you waiting for a day too?

Barbara?

I am

Please have a seat

You think we should go in?

Finn, you're not gonna regret going to
a party that some girl invited you to.

You are going to regret staying at

home while knowing that there's people
out there experiencing things. Living!

Are you looking for someone?

Uh, yeah. Lily, do you know where she is?

Maybe

I've never seen you around here before

What

I've never seen you around here before

Oh, uh, you have no reason to

How about this we play a little game

If you win I'll tell you where Lily is

If you lose I guess
you're on your own. You in?

So do you do this often?

Go out with beautiful women?

Charming

No, not really

Uh, is it lame to say you're my first?

It's ok, I'll go slow

What about you

Absolutely not never in a million years
today see myself doing this kind of thing

Guess it's time for a change

I think it's really cool that, um,
your career is so important to you

Thanks, most men wouldn't
find that endearing

Jealous. I own a small business. It could be really nice
to be with someone who understands it. Works a big deal.

Any hobbies?

My other full-time job takes up all my time for hobbies but
since this is supposed to be fun I'll spare you the details

Ah, it's okay, I get it. Lady of the night.

Yeah

Something like that, yeah

You can tell me if you want

Sure, you want to go there?

Is it so scary?

Single mother

Ah

You want to get the check?

No, I think that's wonderful

Really?

I was raised by a single
mother. They're tough

amazing

I have a lot of respect for that

All right

Bringing up my children and your mother on a first
date that seems more like a fifth, but I guess it's okay

Maybe just me as we're getting along

So, uh, what's the game?

Never have I ever

How do you play?

You don't know how to
play never have I ever?

I just need to know the rules, okay

Maybe he was home-schooled or something

We each take turns saying something we've
never done, if you've done it you take a drink

So is the point of the game
to keep the cup full or empty?

I'll go first

Never have I ever kissed

someone of same gender

Does the cheek count?

What, you've never
kissed your uncle goodbye?

Alright, never have I
ever done "it" outside

How about you go

Uh, no that's okay

just pick
some...

I'm blanking

Just pick!

Oh, I've never been kissed

What was that?

Um, nothing, I shouldn't of said anything

Never been kissed? How pathetic is that?

Yeah, what are you like twenty-something
and you've never even gotten any lip action?

That's why you look
familiar. Did you go to West?

Yeah

Oh my gosh, you're Finn Comewell.

Conwell!

Guys this dude is so sad

He had to drop out his senior year and
be homeschooled because he had no friends

No wonder he's never been kissed

Wait, so you were homeschooled?

I have to go

Wait, just one more question. Where the
hell did you end up going to college anyway?

I didn't go to college

Couldn't get in?

No, I
- I wanted to do other things with my life

Are you still into rollerskating?
Please tell me you gave that up

This guy! He used to roller
skate to school every day

Couldn't take the bus
'cause he'd get picked on

And his mommy couldn't take him 'cause
she had to work non-stop after daddy left

Isn't that right, Comewell?

I have to go

What do you say we stay up here tonight?

Not tonight

Carter, I said no

Hey what's the big deal

Carter I said no

You're a little tease, aren't you?

Carter, no! What is the matter with you?

What's the big deal? We do it
once then we can never do it again

I'm sorry, they said those things I
- I had no idea that was going to happen

It was a stupid game

I wanna go home

We can go

Oh, uh, Lily sorry, I
didn't know you were out here

No it's fine

You're friends said you were
upstairs with your boyfriend

No, that guy's a prick

You know if that guy's a
jerk he doesn't deserve you

Rough night too? You were in
quite the hurry to get out here

Coming here was a mistake.

I know what you mean

What happened to you?

Just like high school

All over again

You know, thought people
change but my fault

Were people messing with you?

You could say that

what did they do?

It's... it's
embarrassing

Finn, it's me

Okay, we were playing never
have I ever. You played it?

Of course

Sorry

And

It was my turn and I
didn't know what to say

so I just said never have
I ever been kissed and

That was a mistake

Finn, that's okay. People say things they
don't mean all the time when they're flustered

Oh

Yeah

You've never been kissed

Oh Finn

Not you too

Lily, Lily

Lily, what are you doing out here?

Um

Who's this dipstick?

He's just a friend

Oh, so I'm supposed to believe you just left your boyfriend up
there high and dry to come hang out with some other dude outside

Just leave him alone. Okay

Hey, I know this guy. It's that weird
rollerskating kid from high school

Carter!

Okay

I said leave him alone

Carter, knock it off!

Hey there big boy, wanna tell
these people you still roller skate?

Yeah

I can't hear you.

Yes

You hear that guys? Guess this
loser couldn't get into college

Carter, you're making a scene

Zip it, blondie!

Just
- just

Just what?

Let me be

Ok!

See you later

Oh my god, Finn, are you okay?

Leave me alone

Come on, let's go. I'll Drive you home

No

Call my mom

You'll get in trouble

Just call her!

Are you okay?

What do you think?

Let me help you

Leave me alone

And when they finally found him he was just floating
in the hot water all bloated and patchy and not moving

That's absolutely disgusting.

Wait. There's more as it turns out he was

Uh

I'm sorry, just just one
minute. Cosmo? What is it?

Seriously

I'll be right there.

Is everything all right?

Actually no

I'm so sorry. There's been an incident
with my eldest and I have to go.

You ok? You want me to drive you?

Uh, no, uh, I don't know. I'll be fine.
I'm so sorry. I had a wonderful evening, um

We'll talk soon

I can't believe you snuck out leaving
your sister home alone at night

That's unacceptable no matter what went on
tonight I'm still gonna have to ground you a week

Other than the wet

You look really nice

You should dress that way more often

Hey, it's me

Sorry, I know it's late. I just
wanted to make sure you got home okay

I hope everything's
all right with your son.

I want to let you know I
had a great time tonight

I'm sorry, we couldn't finish out the
evening, but I know that things happen

Anyway, you were great

If you want to go out again

Call me

What do you want?

Okay, I came here to apologize

For what?

For making you go to that party I should have
never made you do that if it made you uncomfortable

Okay

Just okay

Yeah

I apologized

actions speak louder than words

Cosmo I'll believe it when I see it

How am I supposed to do that? Invent time
travel and go back and change everything?

Well, you are an inventor that's a start

Okay, you know I can't do that.

I would if I could but

So I'll just prove to you that from
here on out I'll be a good friend

How about I help you win that competition?

That would be great. If only I could train but since I'm
grounded I can't so it's not a lot of catching up to do

So when you're ungrounded
we'll start up again

Everything will be okay

Cosmo you don't understand. The only thing I want in this
world is to win that competition and you put that in jeopardy

Fine maybe I did

Listen don't be mad at Lily. She
couldn't help what her boyfriend did

Just be mad at me instead.
I deserve it. She doesn't

All right

Work on time travel machine

Work on making Finn less stubborn machine

What's going on Mr. H?

Oh Finn hi, I don't know
exactly how to say this.

I had to close a rink. I just
came by for some paperwork.

What?

This can't be happening

Look, I'm sorry that I haven't been here this week.
I was grounded I could have if I would have I just

I'll be here every day up
into the competition and after

I'm sorry kid the rent
increased. I just can't afford it

The rink is closed until further notice

What about the competition?

I'm sorry about the competition. If it makes you feel
any better. I heard there's another competition in Iowa

It doesn't. I don't want to win in Iowa. I wanna win here. This is
where I've been training. This is where the competition should be

I wish I could help kid

Maybe it's time for the both of us to
do something different with our lives.

I don't want to

I want to do this

This is my dream too

Maybe the universe has other plans.

Okay, Mr. H. is there any
way we can keep the rink open?

If you can come up with $4,500 by the end of the
week to pay for this month's and next month's rent

Yeah, I guess then the
competition would still be on

I'll get you that money Mr. H I promise

I hope so kid for your sake and for mine

Finn, what are you doing here this is my place
of work you can't go barging in like this-

It's your fault Barbara

What? What's my fault?

the rink closed down

Okay, I'm sorry to hear that Finn

If you were really sorry you woulda
let me train now because of you

I lost the two most important things I care
about in this world skating and the competition

Stop being overdramatic

You did not lose skating.

You're right. I just lost my favorite
place in the world to do it at

Finn you're being dramatic. You can skate wherever you
want. It doesn't have to be at some crappy little ring

And where do you suppose I do that at huh?

outside

Outside

What am I a street hooligan?

Finn, you skate outside all the time

for economical and efficient purposes

Not for leisure, don't be facetious

Everyone knows if you want a
street skate you need in lines.

Look, I don't know what to tell you, kid

All I know it's just because you didn't skate for a
week doesn't mean the rink closed down because of you

Now you're just being patronizing.

I'm just giving you the facts

Whatever

Watch that tone, you wanna
get grounded for another week?

It's not like it's gonna keep me
from doing anything I care about

I just

I don't even know what I'm supposed to do

Okay, Finn when I made you the promise that I would do
anything I could to help you win this competition, um

I wasn't lying

Well, I don't think your plan
included the roller rink shutting down

Have I ever stroke you as a simple man?

Excuse me?

Have I ever stroke you as a simple man?

I don't know what you mean. I've never been

stroked by a man before
I think you mean striked?

No stroke. Strike ain't a word

Well, neither is ain't

Anyway when I made you that promise
I weighed all possible outcomes

Calculated every possible way this could have
turned out. Even for the worst possible outcome

And I think you've arrived at it

Actually, uh, this wasn't
the worst possible outcome

What could have possibly
been worse than this?

You could have died unexpectedly.
I would have been forced to

Have you ever seen Weekend at Bernie's?

Okay, what's your plan Cosmo?

Okay

If the rink is closing down because of financial
related issues then we get the money we need, right?

Genius

Why didn't I think of
that? Oh, wait, I did.

Okay, and did you come up with a solution?

Well other than selling
non-essential organs not exactly

Well good thing I'm way ahead of you

Friday night

Friday night

The church bake sale

Go on

Well pastor Flynn had that great idea to have these monthly bake
sale or good selling equivalent right to raise money for small

businesses, and I think this qualifies

Okay

I think you're onto something but
we have 4,500 dollars to raise in

four weeks

That means that

We'll have to raise four thousand five hundred dollars
worth of baked sale or good selling equivalent in one night

Precisely that's...
it's... im...

Plausible

What sort of goods would we sell?

Remember Bobby Dula? He was a
freshman when we were seniors.

What about him?

Well when the chess team was trying to raise money for those
matching team shirts his mom made all those brownies for the school

remember? Everybody loved them.

Those were pretty good brownies

So

What if we make some sort of deal with her
where if she bakes us brownies for the bake sale

Then we give her a certain
percentage of the profits?

I like where this is going

Do you think he's home?

So

You want my mom to make you guys brownies?

for a bake sale

Okay, it's more of a business deal, actually. Your
mom makes us brownies and we turn it into profit

It's for a good cause

Like to benefit kids
with cancer or something?

Sort of, um

You know the old roller rink in town?

I think

Well we all know how fun
it is to skate there, right?

I think the last time
I was there I was five

This is why it closed down

Okay, um, so some people still hold it
very near and dear to their hearts, eh

Close enough to where they should probably seek professional
help but um, it closed down and it needs money to re-open

Why don't you guys do a GoFundMe
or Kickstarter or something?

Look Bobby Dula, we're the
ones with the ideas here, okay?

We're gonna have a bake sale and
it's gonna open the rink back up

Well, I guess I can ask my mom
if you want. See what she thinks

Hey mom some boys from the
neighborhood want to talk to you

You rang, Bobert?

Bobert?

That's my full name

Isn't Bobby normally short for Robert?

It was the 70's. Times were
different then, what do you expect?

So, what can I help you boys with?

You still know how to make
your world famous brownies?

Of course every Tuesday for yoga night.

Finn and Cosmo are trying to
save the roller rink in town

They're starting a bake sale and they remember
your brownies being a huge hit from Chess Club

Oh, the old roller rink?
Ah, gee, I love that place

You were conceived there, you know

What can I do for you

Um basically just make a crap-ton of
brownies for this Friday night. Um,

We'll give you 15% of whatever
we make. It's for a good cause

Oh like haircuts for the homeless?

Something like that

Make it nine

Okay

My lucky number

And look, it seems like you guys need all the help you can
get. I'd love to tag along with you guys to the bake sale

Be an actual salesperson.

I... thank you to the both of you so much.
You have no clue how this is helping me

So

Glad to help

Now

Let's get baked

Already?

Well, of course those brownies aren't
just gonna bake themselves. Are they?

Listen, I've got a troop meeting I have to
get to but I will help as soon as I get back.

That's fine

I'll just put these boys to work

I have to use the bathroom, I'll be
right back. I promise to wash my hands

Oh, don't I like them better dirty anyway

Now, Ms. Dula think of how unsanitary
that is and all the diseases you can catch

Hand mouth foot disease

Pink eye

Hepatitis A.

Oh well, um

I like the one with the D better

Now I'm no physician but I don't think
you can catch hepatitis D that way

Who said I was talking about the disease?

Huh, I just wish someone
would lick my batter

To see if it's any good

I could lick your batter

How's that

Is it good?

Very

You're sure it doesn't need a little more

Sugar?

Mmm, oh no, it's um sweet enough

Good

Cuz you know what they say.
If you can't stand the heat

Kiss the cook

I've uh... never
heard that one before

Honey be a moose and go get me some milk

I... I think
you're out

Keep looking

This

will make

it much better

Well, I guess we can't
compete with tote bags

Don't lose hope yet

I don't get it people
always love my mom's goodies

Maybe we should give some out first, you know, let
him try it and get hooked and then come back for more

Not a bad idea. That's always
how my mom snagged a man

Excuse me woman.

Yes?

We're selling brownies for the old
roller rink in town to stay open

The roller rink? That brings back memories

That's where I first came to know Jesus

My husband but then when the cheating
backstabber found a job in Tennessee named Karen

I found my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ

Right, um

Well, the first one is
free. So would you like one?

Why not?

Don't worry she'll be back

I sure hope so. We have
4,500 dollars worth to sell

We can do it Finn, you know for someone who's wanted this their
entire life sure thing could be a little more gung-ho about it

Okay, you're right sorry I can do this

Excuse me sir.

Yes?

Would you like a free brownie?

Are they gluten-free
gluten-free?

Gluten-free? What are
you from the West Coast?

No, I have celiac
disease. It's very serious

Are these gluten-free?

Yes, they're gluten-free

But Doc Brown just said no.

Well, I'm sorry, you must've misheard

So they're gluten-free?

Sure.

Sure?

Sure

Whatever

All right, that'll be $2.50

Didn't you just say that they're free?

The offer expired

Mm-hmm.

Yes?

My change?

Change? What do I look
like a plastic surgeon?

Wasn't that guy the pastor?

Made a sale didn't it?

First one of the night

Cosmo's right

We should be handing out free brownie so
that way people come back paying for more

That's literally what I just

I know but you also said if this is
something I care about which it is

I should try harder. So... I... here
I am I'm going to be active. So let's

get

handing

Excuse me, uh, we're handing out free
brownie samples. Would you like one?

Yeah, thanks

Got free brownies

Yep, take one

Brownies!

Yeah, sure

They're free because you
don't have to pay for them

Here you are, okay

We have to of handed out over 100 brownies

We made one sale

Is this even gonna work?

It's been two hours the
bake sale's technically over

What?

I can't believe it

And we've only made one
sale my chances are ruined

Jesus H. Christ

I need another one of those brownies

I need another one of these brownies

Uh, ma'am, the bake
sale is technically over.

I don't care. I'll pay top dollar

Name your price.

Uh, okay, um

Name your price

Five

Five hundred dollars

500?

Dollars?

I'm sorry, ma'am, but we
can't take personal checks

Shhh!

Can I take one now?

Uh, yeah

Mmm! Anyone who says Jesus Christ is
the only way has never tried one of these

So Jesus?

They should start replacing the
communion crackers with these brownies

I'm glad you call me back.

I'm glad you called

I can be a little abrasive. I forget
not everyone finds that charming.

I think I'm not everyone

How did a guy like you not
- never find someone?

Marriage wasn't for me

And some things I wanted to do

Did you do them?

Some of them, and then I realized

Those things on my bucket list would be
a fun if I had someone to do them with

You know, they have a Craigslist
ad for that kind of thing.

I'll keep that in mind
when I bomb the third date

You didn't miss out on anything though

On what?

Being married

Is that true?

Well

At least I didn't have
such great look at it

I'm sure you've been hurt
by people you cared about

I think it's really brave of you
to put yourself out there again

That's one way of putting it

Obviously you didn't need it

Look at the life you've created for
yourself. You raised two great kids

That's a direct product of you

Parenting is like any other skill

You do it for years trying new things

failing hoping to get better at it and

Years later that day
eventually arrives where you're

Acceptable at it

And you just hope that now is good enough where
everyone can forget how bad the trial years were

Parenting is like any other
skill it takes practice

Except it's the most
difficult one to master

And who knows maybe
marriage is like that too

Except no one sticks around long
enough to where they're decent at it

If you said that being with someone wasn't
worth it, why did you choose to go out?

Because I wondered if I was wrong

Were you?

We'll find out

Um

I have to go to the restroom

Right? Me too. Too much wine

Hi Finn, Hi Cosmo, Hi Finn

Why... Why'd you
say that twice?

Did you boys work hard?

Yeah, you wouldn't believe it
Ms. Dula, we sold every brownie

Great

I knew they'd like it. I always put
in my own extra special ingredient

It makes my brownies
stand out above the rest

Is it love?

I was thinking more along the lines of

Cigarette butts?

Mom not again! I can't believe
you put drugs in these brownies

Why are you so upset?

It got you in the Boy Scouts and
it worked here, what is the problem?

Mom, you can't keep doing this it's
- it's embarrassing

Oh, Bobert. You'll have the whole
ride home to complain. Come on.

Bye!

Do you really think she did?

Well I mean was a little convenient
how everyone showed up at once

Either way it worked. That's all that matters right?
Let's grab some milkshakes and count the money.

1,200

1,200? That's not even half

And accounting for Ms. Dula's cut that's

1104 dollars

So tonight was basically a waste.

No, Finn don't think about it like that

Tonight was a victory. You know, we're
one step closer to getting you to your goal

Yeah, but time is dwindling
we have to think fast

We're doing the best we can.

Yeah, but I feel like we
could be doing more, you know

I mean I read somewhere that broke college girls will sit on
birthday cakes in front of a webcam to make money, you know

Maybe that can work

Finn, that's

ridiculous

Okay, you're right I mean, where would we
get a birthday cake at this time of night?

Mom what are you doing here?

Finn, Kate. I was seeing a
friend. What are you doing here?

We just came for shakes after the
bake sale. We're counting the money

Hi Ms. Conwell.

Hi Cosmo

Well, how'd it go?

Meh

He's down because we only made $1,200

$1,200 from a bake sale?

Ms. Dula sure whips up a mean batch

Ms. Dula. I bet she does.

Wait you didn't have any did you?

Nah

Mom we still have $3,400 to go.
I don't know what we're gonna do

Well you guys, are smart
kids, you'll think of something

Kate how's the scratching going?

Good girl. Hey one last thing Father Flynn
called earlier had some Church tax questions

And he won't return my calls.
Did you see him tonight?

Uhhh, I'm just sure he's

Wiped out after today

All right

Well, I'm headed off to the loo

Why'd I say it like that?

Your mom's nice

Uh, my mom is weird

Okay. Well, maybe that's
where you get it from

Well, hey guys

Mr. Hollenbeck.

What are you doing here?

Well, you know that date I had last
week. I guess it went pretty well

So you're out celebrating?

With another date

Congrats!

We have some news

What's that?

We raised eleven hundred
dollars to open the ring back up

Eleven hundred? No way.

All this money's for the rink?

And we're not through yet.
This is just the first attempt

Oh guys. I can't let you do that.

Too late for that now

I'm flabbergasted. It's really too
kind of you. The two of you. Sorry Kate

You're right free sodas for
everyone when we open back up

I promise you that we will do the best we
can to get you the rest of our money Mr. H

Well, I'm off to the loo

That was weird

My mom just went in there,
so maybe you'll see her

Well, I'll try and get
the urinal next to hers

Okay, but seriously, what are we gonna do

I
- I have an idea that's even better than the bake sale

You know how when schools are trying
to raise money for uniforms and such

They'll like set up a benefit
with a local restaurant, you know

Like eat here on this night and we'll
give you a portion of the proceeds

A fundraiser.

Exactly

But

Those are always for like

Nonprofits or educational institutions and
They're always something so low like 15%

Which is why we're in luck

My dad owns a bar downtown remember,
so maybe I can pull a few strings

You know alcohol is expensive the place is poppin. And since it's my
dad, he'll probably give us a better deal than any other establishment

You're onto something

I'll make a few calls

All right any ideas?

Yeah Cosmo might just save the day

All right, then progress

Barbara are you flirting
with these teenagers?

Barbara do you two know each other?

Um

Barbara do you know these kids?

These are my kids

All of them?

No. No
These... I...

I thought you said you only had two-

No, I do, I do. These two.

Oh

Wait, how do you know these kids?

They come on the rink all the time

The rink. That's your business

Guilty.

I didn't see that coming.

Wait a second. How do
you two know each other?

Oh your mom
and I are...

Mr Hollenbeck had some tax questions. They were complicated
so we decided to meet over dinner to sort them out

Do you want to get back
to our tax chat buddy?

Sure thing pal

Oh

Boy that's awkward.

What was?

Well Mr. H thinks he's on a date with
your mom, but she thinks she's on the clock

Barbara Barbara wait

I'm sorry, if I gave you the wrong idea. I thought
we were on a date. I don't wanna look like a fool here

No that's not it at all, I'm so sorry to have done that to you.
Just my kids don't exactly know that I'm out in the dating world

It's a sensitive subject. It didn't seem like the right
time and I don't want you to get the wrong idea either

Well, it's hard not to

Oh

I like you... I'm
just being careful

Give me some time to tell the kids

You've been so nice to me

And I can tell you've
been a good man to my kids

Just give me time to tell them

Are we in the right place?

Yeah, my dad's not working tonight,
but he said to ask for Willseph

Oh you know, I bet this
place sells a lot of

Ribs and steak.

Dad says the specialties bratwurst

Um are they expecting us?

Yeah, he let me make up
all these flyers for tonight

Boys night?

Yeah, you know I thought if people knew
we were young they'd be more apt to donate

Good thinking!

So your dad really owns this place, huh?

Yeah, he bought it from some
Hispanic her name was Wendy I think

Welcome!

Welcome! I hope you haven't been waiting
long. The plumbing's a bit backed up.

Oh, yeah. No worries.
Uh, you must be...

Willseph!

Willseph? Is that your real name?

Well, my parents couldn't decide to go
with Will or Joseph so they went with both

Well, um, this is Finn, I'm
Cosmo my dad runs this place

Ah, yes, he's our daddy, too

Are you both ready for the show?

The show?

Stage names costumes surely you understand
this establishment specializes in entertainment!

Yeah!

Of course

The show

Don't worry you don't have anything together
for the show; I'll warm the audience for you

Now, the audience hasn't eaten in a while
so they're hungry. You twinkies are on in 5!

But be careful they do bite!

Hello, hello, hello

Please give a warm. Two new up and comers

Finn and Cosmo. Or is it Cosmo and Finn?

I guess we'll find out

Hello, uh
- I'm Finn, this is Cosmo we are here tonight for a fundraiser

Which we all hope to benefit from

Nice costume!

It's it's
not a... thanks

Uh, well anyway, um

As you may or may not know the old roller rink in
town is in jeopardy of shutting down. So we're here

To host a fundraiser
in order to keep it open

So what are you gonna do about it?

Uh, what do you want us to do?

Sit on a cake and let us eat it!

I am NOT cleaning that mess up again

Sorry I guess, um, guess
I came a little unprepared

Do something...
anything... dance!

Ha ha do you wanna see some dancing?

With!

Depends on how much fundraising we do

Finally, the twink speaks

Hey!

DJ...
track nine

Hit it!

Now I'm true to my word, my daddy

Cosmo's daddy

Cosmo's father said that you could
have 15% of what drinks made tonight

Here you go

Now, if the both of you want to come back even
if there's no fundraiser, my door is always open

And so is the clubs

Why is it all wet?

It was in the hot places

Sing us the song you're the piano man

The microphone smells like my rear

Excuse me!

AH!

Excuse me!

Yes?

You both were wonderful tonight
I was hoping you can help me out

What do you need?

Look, look I'm a little drunk. And I can't
get home my wife cannot know that I'm here

Can you take me?

Sorry, you know I wish we could
but my car only fits two people

No, no, no, it's okay. I
live in walking distance

You want us to walk you home?

If you could

Yeah, I don't know I'm sorry
we we kind of gotta leave

I'll give you 600 bucks

I'm sure we could work something out.

Hahaha, Great. Now, I just
need a little bit of help.

Sure

Okay

Come on

Not really
good at...

I don't think this is gonna work, no

I don't know what we're gonna do

Drag me.

Excuse me

Just drag me. I live in dragging distance

Um

Right

From the knees

Can't wait to see what
the police think of this

Eh, it would look more suspicious
if he was in a body bag or something

Please tell me this is your house

Yep. This is it. Right here

Kay

Should we leave?

No, no, no, it'll be okay

Ok

Hi home, I'm honey

Where is your wheelchair?

Do you think we should
go back and ask for half

Alright 1550

Okay. So put that together with the 1100
from the bake sale and that gives us about

four thousand eight hundred and forty

We did it

We did it with three hundred
and forty dollars to spare.

Oh my gosh

I know

We made it we made it

Cosmo, thank you so much for helping me

Couldn't have done it without you.

Of course, I'd help you. You're
my best friend. Of course I'd help

Aw

How's the fundraising going?

We did it.

You got the money?

As soon as I drop off the
cash doors are back open

Finn that's awesome. You
should be so proud of yourself

Now I can come see you in the competition

You'd do that?

Of course I would

I didn't think we were really that
close I just deliver your paper

Finn. We went to high
school together for years

Well yeah, but you know,
we don't really have a

Common bond anymore

Sure, we do you deliver my paper

When's the competition?

You don't have to come

I want to if it means
something to you...

Fourteen days

I'll be there

Here goes nothing

I don't get a newspaper subscription

Can I talk to you?

I don't want to buy any
newspapers. I'm sorry

I... I... I don't want to
sell you any newspapers

So what brings you around

Well, um

You weren't coming back
so I figured I'd stop by

You're a lot taller

It's the skates

Probably

So you in school

No

Have a job?

Right

You taking care of your mother

Someone has to

She, um

Never got remarried?

Nope had other priorities

Well, your mother was always very devoted

What about
you? Um any...

half brothers and sisters
I should know about

No, I don't think so. I was with
this one woman for a few years, but

She left me a long time ago

You didn't leave her?

No, I got the short end of the stick that
time. Didn't like the way I handled money

Karma I suppose

Karma?

Nope

Give up the white picket fence dream
for a third shift job at a warehouse

Can't make your house payments; bank won't stop
calling so you have to disconnect your phone, yeah

I'd call that Karma

Guess I never thought
about it like that before

So, what about you, what do you do?

Skate

Like with a board?

My feet

I have a competition
coming up. Gonna win state.

Well isn't that neat

Excuse me

Hello? No this is not him. No,
I have no clue who that even is

Just stop calling this number. I
don't have any money. No habla Ingles

Great

What about you, any thing you're into?

Hobbies?

No, I don't have time for that stuff.

I wouldn't have money to
invest in one if I wanted

Last week I had to walk to work
because I couldn't afford gas

That's why you should get a degree

Don't be like me

You won't like your life when you
gotta buy the cheap toilet paper. I

I take it you have money troubles

That's one way to put it. I'm a month
away from being evicted from this place

Then where do I go?

I'm already on food stamps

You're Aunt Jackie doesn't
return any of my call, so

I don't even want to think where I'll
be in a month if a miracle doesn't happen

That's unfortunate

Unfortunate. Finn I have
no idea what I'm gonna do

I recently came into some money

Right

You could buy a hot meal with that one

Keep it

What? No

I can't do that. You're my son.
That's not how it should work

Finn you have no idea
what this means to me.

Boy am I eternally grateful

You have no idea how
much this is gonna help

Matter of fact you might
have saved your old pops life

Just spend it wisely

Oh buddy you got that right

So, how about this. You go finish your
paper route you come back here tonight

I will cook up an incredible feast
like you would have never believed

And we'll have a nice
dinner father-and-son

Like it should be

It's all I ever wanted

So, come on let's go. Go finish your route

Get that paper route done and get
back here. Don't be late for dinner

We'll have a great dinner

Be careful

I'll see you later dad

See you later, son

What's wrong?

Mom, I have something to tell you

Don't laugh at me

No honey, come here, come here

Oh, oh

I'm so stupid

Oh what's going on sweetie?
It's gonna be all right

I saw dad today

He left me twice

Don't think for one
second you're worth leaving

This has nothing to do with you
and everything to with that scumbag

You're twice the man he was or ever will be

Just can't believe I fell for it

It's not your fault

It's a sad day that he'll
never know the kind soul you are

Don't ever call that man your
father he's lost that privilege

Sorry you had to be
married to him for so long

Yeah

Me too

I have a secret to tell you

What

Promise you won't get mad?

I promise

Remember the other night when you saw
me and Mr. Hollenbeck out to dinner?

That really was a date

I bet he treats you well

He does

You deserve it

Now I really wish I'd given him the money

Don't worry about that he'll understand

Guess it's time to make a new list

Yeah

Aren't you the one that always wears
the roller skates? Where are they?

Gave that up

Why is that?

Rink closed down

Now there's nowhere to skate
and no competition to enter

Pity, you had such a natural talent

Thanks

It's you!

It's me!

You're the one that's been following me

Well, yes, I've... I've
kept a watchful eye on you

Why?

Let me introduce myself. I
am Judith C. Parks the Third

Finn Conwell.

Pleased to make your acquaintance

So, uh, why have you
been watching me Judith?

Please. It's Miss Parks

I... I see that you have a natural ability with
roller skating and I find that very inspiring

Yeah, well

Too bad the rink's closed down and
isn't gonna open back up any time soon

Money is the problem, no?

Yep, the owner needs a

lot of money to open back up, so

What's the number?

$4,500

Very well.

Now who do I make this out to, hm?

What?

Wh... what
are you doing?

Writing you a check

What? Why? How?

I believe in you Finn

Look when my husband left this world he also
left a sizable fortune. I can't think of anyone

I would rather gift with
this blessing than you

A lot of people had find that
skating rink, uh, me included

Precisely and so I ask again,
who do I make this check out to?

Um

Mr. Hollenbeck?

Mr. Hollenbeck it is

Wow

Oh

Miss Parks, I have no clue
how I'm gonna repay you

Just win first place at
the competition my dear

I will, now, I gotta go train.

I will be in the crowd on
competition day cheering you on

Thanks Judith

Please, it's Miss Parks

Cosmo, it's Finn. Meet me at the
rink. We have some training to do

Alright, ready for today?

I have to be

Oh, I can't wait to see you win

What if I don't?

Then I'll have to get a different cake

Come on, that still has no say over your talent you'll be
the same wonderful young man you were before the competition

No matter the outcome I still love you

It's just that when I pictured
this day it was so different

Dad was here. No and...
and even after he left I-

I always pictured he'd come back and

see me compete and

see me win and he'd know that me, his
son was a... was a winner and... and... and...

And now I

I can't prove that

Ok, you don't have anything to
prove to anyone especially him

And you want to compete for someone? There's
gonna be a whole crowd of people cheering for you

Or you could do it for someone else, hm?

Okay, okay

All right. You want me
to take you to this thing?

No, that's okay. I'll
skate I... I need the warmup.

All right. See you soon

I would say break a leg

But that's wrong

I love you win or lose

Wow

Looks like the entire town's here.

Yeah, to watch you win.

How are they gonna watch me win if
there's no one here to compete against?

Good question. It seems as though you would
be the winner and the loser simultaneously

I don't know if someone does it come
fast. This is sure gonna be anticlimactic

Hey, Mr. Hollenbeck what happens if
there's no one here to compete with me?

I'm afraid the competition
will have to be postponed again

Maybe we should just postpone

The bowling alley is down the street

Good thing

Y'all ain't gonna be spared

Oo, clever

Can have your name please?

Michelle
O-Bomb-a?

B-O

M-B-A

Got it. Well, Michelle
good luck. Finn, don't die

Um, may the best man win.

Did you just assume my gender?

I'm sorry. It's it's an expression.

I skated all the way from
Kentucky for this. I'm not losing

All right, everyone

I'm so glad we're all back after a six-year hiatus
to the annual rinky-dink roller rink competition

The rules state each competitor must
make it around the rink three times

Whoever does so the fastest will be declared
the winner. Let's announce our skaters

Probably know him as he delivers your
papers a town native, Finn Conwell

And all the way from Kentucky. I hope she doesn't
beat me up in the parking lot, Michelle O-Bomb-a

Skaters assume your positions.
On your mark, get set

Go!

The competitors are off, they
both seem to be neck and neck

Looks like Michelle gains
around the first corner

And round one is through

You're not gonna defeat me. I've
won every competition in the Midwest

Well, I don't got a great
comeback, but I'm a great skater

Eat my dust, hoe!

Wow, look at that
Michelle O-Bomb-a!

I can't, cover mommy's eyes

That's round two for Michelle,
will Finn be able to catch up?

You can do it, kid!

They're neck and neck, skate and skate!

And Finn is in the lead!

Yes, yes!

This is the last stretch of
round three, anything can happen

And Finn hits the track

Oh!

And that's it folks Michelle O-Bomb-a has
won the rinky-dink roller rink competition

I'm here to present the medal for
first place to Michelle O-Bomb-a

Champion of the 42nd annual
rinky-dink roller rink competition

First off I'd like to say this town reminds
me of a prison but with a lot more inbreeding

Since I was a
little girl...

Wait a second

She didn't win. For the last week I've
been studying up on this competition and...

this didn't win

Nice try, liar

According to, um

Chapter 3 section C paragraph 8 any competitor
competing and the rinky-dink roller rink

Skating competition has to be wearing

Roller skates

Uh, I am wearing roller skates

Dummy

Roller skates. Those are in lines

Dummy

Yes, yes!

My brother's the winner. Finn is the winner

You heard it here, folks.
Finn is the real winner!

Heard there's a competition in Iowa

Whatever

Thanks Kate

You did it!

Mom I'm a winner

And you won the competition too

Yay!

Oh!

Cosmo, thank you. I couldn't
of done it without you

Eh, I'll just say you're
my best invention yet

Feet up

Free skate for everyone just five bucks a person.
Got to keep this place open at least for another year

Is that your man?

Shh!

Get him, what are you waiting for?

Hey Bobby, where's your mom

I don't wanna talk about it

Hey, um, you wanna skate?

This is strictly platonic

Oh

You came

I told you I'd be here.
You up for a few more laps?

I guess

Cool