Riding High (1950) - full transcript
A horse trainer who has fallen on hard times looks to his horse, Broadway Bill, to finally win the big race.
Hyah!
Hyah!
J.L...
Yes, J.L...
Yes, J.L.
I've been waiting a half-hour!
Not now, Mel. I'm busy.
Got to get all his
sons-in-law on the phone.
Main, 674.
Board of directors'
meeting tonight.
This is the 1st, you know.
They all know it's the 1st.
They know there's
a meeting tonight.
The whole town knows it.
Higgins Iron Works?
Higgins, Higgins, Higgins.
That's not a family,
it's a disease!
Arthur Winslow talking.
Oh, yes, Mrs. Peterson. Yes.
I just want to remind you
there's
a board of directors' meeting
at J.L.'s house tonight
at 7 sharp.
Oh, yes, Mrs. Peterson.
Oh, you know me,
"Never Late" Early.
No, Mrs. Peterson, Mr. Brooks
hasn't been in all day.
I don't know.
It's got to be cut lower.
I've told you 100 times, lower!
Madame, I told you 200 times,
there's a limitation.
There will be at least
1,000 people--
All right. So what?
It's my wedding, not my funeral!
Who is it?
Your father's secretary.
What does that old bag want?
Hello?
Well, how do I know
where Dan Brooks is?
Please help me locate him!
You know how strict your father
is about the meetings.
Well, he's not under my bed.
All right, I'll get him
to the meeting
as I got him to all the others.
He's probably out
with that stupid horse.
Come on, Whitey!
You're heading into the stretch.
Let him roll!
Come on! Let him roll!
Let's see if we got a horse.
Kick it out of low, princess.
Come on.
Oh, Bill. Oh, Bill.
Come on, boy.
What'd he make it in?
Huh?
What'd he make it in?
1:42.
Is that good?
Good?
Honey, on a cowpath like this,
for a 3-year-old, that's flying.
Here, Bill.
Come on, boy.
Mr. Brooks, this animal
just ain't human.
He's a flier, isn't he?
What'd he do it in?
1:42, that's all.
Great day in a morning!
With me on him?
He's diseased with speed.
It's a nice way to be sick.
Isn't he a beauty, princess?
Oh, you said it.
Oh, we're proud of you,
Broadway Bill.
Steady, Bill.
How's that ankle?
Feels cool.
He made it.
Well, what's this?
Pathé news
comes to Higginsville?
No, that's Skeeter.
Skeeter?
Miss Alice
taught him to do that.
I have many talents.
Well!
Broadway Bill,
you got a mascot like
a stakes winner. Big stuff, huh?
Is it true horses get
so attached to mascots
they won't run without them?
Yeah, that's true, but I think
a jockey's useful too.
Hey, Whitey,
get those bandages off
and go to walking him, huh?
Dan? When you put racing shoes
on him, can I help you?
Huh? Say, you know more
about this horse than I do.
You been hanging around
the stable quite a bit, huh?
Want to make something of it?
No, but don't you let
Emperor Higgins catch you.
He'll ship you off
to the salt mines.
Emperor Higgins
doesn't even know I'm alive.
I'm just the young brat
in the family.
Well, you will stay single.
Why don't you get married
and give him another son-in-law.
Yes, I know.
Someone to take care
of another Higgins enterprise.
Not little Alice.
Okay, but marriage
is getting popular, you know.
I'm going to post soon.
Don't get shut out.
Been a long time since I've
seen a horse work that good.
Dan, why don't you?
Yeah, I should.
Why don't I what?
Imperial Race Track
opened last week.
Oh, no. No more of that
hobo stuff for Dan Brooks.
He's getting married.
Going to be a solid citizen.
Don't do it, Dan.
Don't marry a Higgins.
Don't marry any Higgins.
You-- You'll just rot here,
like the rest of us.
Princess, you've got
a very attractive little nose,
but keep it out of my business
or I'll twist it off for you.
Oh, you're a fool!
Well, I'm a happy one.
I was just a race track mug
till I met your sister.
Now I'm general manager of
the Higgins Paper Box Company.
Oh, prune juice!
You've been dying to get out
of Higginsville
ever since you came here.
Oh, get her!
Your heart and soul
are in horses,
and you're making paper boxes.
Four hundred thousand
last month. Or was it last year?
You're scared,
that's what you are.
Yeah? Who's scared?
Dan Brooks, horseman.
Dan Brooks,
just another Higgins slave.
Yeah? Well, at my salary,
slavery can come back.
Mr. Brooks, it ain't fair.
It ain't honest.
What ain't honest?
What do you mean?
We been together
for a long time,
and this is the mostest horse
we ever did have!
He's ready, Mr. Brooks.
Just picked up that truck
with my last 25 bucks.
And he's ready.
You know it better than I do.
We owe it to him.
He's ready!
Yes, he's ready
and you're ready,
but I'm not.
Do you hear?
I got smart.
I quit racing.
I'm going to stay smart.
Hey, Bill, go on.
Go on, chase him, chase him.
Chase him!
Go on. That's it. Push him.
No. Now, I'm through.
No! Now, leave me alone.
I'm through with racing.
Don't mess with me.
I'm a big paper-box man.
Yeah, attaboy.
Never mind, now.
Break it up.
Never mind.
No, I don't want to play.
No, I'm a big business man.
Gotta go to a meeting.
You can stop that dancing too.
I told you,
I'm through with horses.
Go on!
Go back to Whitey.
Go with Whitey.
I don't want anything
to do with you. Go on!
Now go back.
Give him some more.
Yeah, that's it.
You back again?
What do you want with me?
What do you want with me?
I'm through!
I'm through with horses.
Going to make the paper boxes.
Yeah! Yeah!
Now go give him some more.
Why, I'll kick you
in your big...
Good evening, Miss Margaret.
Good evening. What is your name?
Huh?
Is Mr. Brooks ready yet?
Not quite, uh....
The name is Clarence White.
Oh.
* Won't say that rivers flow *
* Or day turns to night *
* But, darling *
* I'd say we've got
A sure thing *
* All right *
* Won't say it's winter *
* When snow falls from above *
* But, darling *
* It's a sure thing we're *
* In love *
Maggie!
Darling!
Come here.
Mm.
We'll never get to the meeting
this way. Come on, slowpoke.
Wait a minute.
Not so fast, me proud beauty.
What's your hurry?
What's the rush?
Anybody ever tell you
you're the most beautiful girl
in the world?
Just the world?
I'll include all
the available planets,
the stratosphere,
the outer space,
New York, New Haven and
Hartford, leaving on track five.
That's better.
Here.
Come on.
What's the hurry?
Come on, darling.
I may not be
the most beautiful,
but I'm the happiest girl
in the world.
The invitations
were mailed today,
and you should see my dress.
A stunner?
Only three weeks more, darling.
The wedding will be
the biggest thing
since Texas joined the Union.
That was a big day.
Good heavens!
Even your dinner jacket
smells horsy!
What?
What do you use, Equine No. 5?
You know he worked
a mile in 1:42 today?
Who?
Broadway Bill!
And with Whitey on him too.
Just sitting there,
looking and cooking.
Why don't you come out
the next time he works.
I'll bet if you knew him,
you'd love him.
Oh, I like horses, all right.
Especially when they're racing.
Didn't I meet you at the track?
That's what you did.
Remember, when I leaned over and
asked you if you had a winner?
Oh, and I had a winner too.
You.
Ready?
Sure, I'm ready. Flashy.
What kind of socks
are you wearing this time?
What difference does it make?
Dan, you've got to change them.
Quickly, where are
the black ones?
They'll be under the table
all night anyhow.
If you got to know
Broadway Bill personally,
I'll bet you'd
be crazy about him.
Did I ever tell you
about his mother?
She was blind, you know?
Blind?
Yeah, stone-blind.
Beautifully bred mare, though.
Put those on, and hurry.
She had quite a problem
when the little colt arrived.
Naturally, she wanted to be
near him, but she couldn't,
because she couldn't find him.
It was pitiful to watch her.
She'd start in a little circle,
and the circle
would get larger and larger.
She'd cover every foot
of that field,
but that little rascal,
he'd just stay
a step ahead of her
all the time.
She couldn't reach him,
and at night,
boy, at night,
what a ruckus she'd raise!
I'd have to get up,
find Broadway Bill,
take him in to her.
But I licked it.
You know what I did?
I got a bell.
An ordinary dinner bell.
I tied it around his neck.
Solved her problem.
She'd hear the bell,
find the colt.
Clever.
Put the other one on.
After a while,
an amazing thing happened.
You won't believe this,
but this is absolutely true.
That little colt,
he realized that
something was wrong
with his mother.
And he wouldn't leave her side.
Gee, I can remember we used to
turn the colts
and the mares out.
They'd head lickety-split
for the field, just kicking,
playing, buckjumping,
but not Broadway Bill. No, sir.
He'd stay with her,
and he'd lead her every step
of the way, over rocks,
around the ditches and the ruts
until he got her safely
into the pasture.
You'd just have to love a little
egg like that, wouldn't you?
I don't blame you.
That's him.
Out in the barn,
that's Broadway Bill!
Well, then a lot
of bad breaks came along.
Couldn't win a race, horses
got sick, lost a few of them,
and up to my ears in debts.
Then you came along,
asked me if I had a winner.
So in three days, I sold the
whole kit and caboodle of them.
Paid off my debts and proposed
to you every hour on the hour.
Promised to quit racing
and followed you here
to Higginsville,
but I couldn't come
without Broadway Bill.
I figured maybe
after our kids grew up,
he'd make a nice little horse
for them to hack around on.
Whitey--
Couldn't leave old Whitey,
not after all we'd been through
together, working and starving.
So Broadway Bill's a 3-year-old
now, and he's a runner!
Maybe a great runner, Maggie.
Oh, it's a wonderful story,
darling.
But, as you say,
you're through with racing.
And if you think that
old mare's got a problem,
I've gotta get you
to that meeting on time
or be disowned.
Come on!
Maggie, wait, wait.
Let's duck the meeting tonight.
Duck the meeting?
Yeah. Let's you and I
go somewhere and just sit under
the moon together and talk.
I want to talk
about a few things.
Father would throw a royal fit.
You know we've got to go.
Why? What difference
does it make?
He does all the talking anyhow.
We just sit there
with our heads on hinges.
"Yes, J.L. Of course, J.L.
Oh, you're so right, J.L."
I'd like to go to one
of those meetings
with a stiff neck sometime.
Throw the whole
thing out of tempo.
Oh, Dan, stop.
Father has great plans for you.
That's why the others
are all so jealous.
Yeah, "the others."
Look, let's go over and stand
in front of the house
and throw rocks at the meeting.
What do you say?
Dan, it's almost 7.
Well, do you want
to throw rocks?
No. And neither would you
if you had any sense.
Remember, you'll be calling
those meetings someday.
Now, come on!
We can't afford to be
late again. You know Father.
Come on!
"Yes, J.L. Yes, J.L."
Good evening, Mrs. Early.
Good evening, Johnson.
Good evening, Johnson.
Mr. Early.
J.L.'s in the study.
Thank you, Johnson.
Well, right on the dot.
"Never Late" Early,
they call me.
No more stale jokes.
And don't be so scared of him.
Who's scared?
Good evening, J.L.
Evening.
Father.
Well, right on the dot.
"Never Late" Early,
they call me.
Henry.
Hi.
Evening, Father.
Don't scold me.
I'm on time.
Good evening, Mrs. Winslow.
Good evening.
Mr. Winslow.
Good evening, Johnson.
J.L.'s in the study.
Oh, thank you, Johnson.
You may not be
the smartest, Arthur,
but you're the best-looking.
Thank you!
Good evening, Father.
Evening.
J.L. Evening.
Good evening, Johnson.
Good evening, Miss Margaret.
J.L. is in the study.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Dan.
Shh.
Hello, Dan, I see you made it.
Oh, she went to the whip
on me. Hi.
Father.
J.L.
We're late.
Well, that's my fault.
There was sort of a hassle
down at the box factory.
You see, we had this big box...
We'll get started.
We, um...
How do I get out of this box?
Leave Higginsville.
Still in there punching,
aren't you?
What's on the agenda
for this evening?
Oh, soup, cold lamb
and the financial report.
Sounds exciting.
Say...
would there be such a thing as
a slug of whiskey
around the house?
In this house?
Isn't anything ever changed
around this mausoleum?
Yeah, bedspreads and underwear.
The daily double.
Ooh!
Any of you got ulcers yet?
Well, here's hoping.
The purpose of this meeting
is to elect him
permanent member of this board.
Now that he's to become
a permanent member
of this family.
But first, some good news.
Acme Lumber Company.
Bought it today
at our own figure.
Very good, J.L.
Very good, J.L.
Fine, fine, J.L.
Fine. Fine. Fine.
10:05 this morning, it became
the Higgins Lumber Company.
Approved?
Why, of course, J.L. Splendid!
Seems like a wise move, J.L.
You approve?
Huh?
Oh, naturally, J.L.
Top-hole, J.L.
Of course, J.L.
Present has no active head.
Hm.
It shall remain so.
Courage, men.
It'll remain so until empty
chair is suitably occupied.
If you mean me, Dad,
you're wasting your time.
What's that?
You might as well forget it.
The man I marry won't care
for the lumber business.
Don't be impudent, Alice.
I'm sorry.
That's okay, J.L.
You're still batting...
750.
Maybe only 500.
Dinner.
Meeting's opened.
Higgins Enterprise
is doing fine,
except
the Higgins Paper Box Company.
Sales, way below normal.
Higgins Special,
nationally known,
off 22 percent.
Mr. Brooks, any explanation?
Maybe paper bags
are catching on.
Could be.
Maybe it's off gallivanting
with a ridiculous horse.
Father!
Let's get back to
the paper boxes, huh?
Yes, indeed, let's.
You came to this town
over a year ago.
Penniless,
questionable background.
Racetrack profession, I believe.
"Reformed gypsy," you said.
You and Margaret wanted
to get married.
I was not impressed.
I got mine the hard way.
Ulcers.
But we decided upon
a probationary period.
I put you at the head
of the Higgins
Paper Box Company,
the most successful
of the Higgins Enterprises.
You accepted, with gratitude.
You were the envy
of Mr. Winslow and Mr. Early.
Oh, no, J.L.
No, J.L., no.
It isn't paper bags,
my reformed gypsy friend,
it's neglect.
Shameful neglect.
Now, Margaret's divorce, final.
Wedding, set.
Expensive.
Four daughters, no sons.
Have to accept
what they bring in.
But I don't want to go through
what I had to go through
with the last fellow
who sat in that chair.
A hockey player, I believe.
Thank you, Father.
Beginning tomorrow,
exclusively paper boxes.
Beginning tomorrow,
get rid of that horse.
See that it's done.
Now, back to Acme
Lumber Company.
I've had their statement gone
over thoroughly.
I find a book value
of 17 dollars a share.
This allows for depreciation
in current year's taxes.
Figures follow.
Cash on hand in banks: $13,764--
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute, J.L. Wait here.
You may be interested
to hear that I have
no intention of disposing
of that horse.
Matter of fact, I'm leaving
Higginsville in the morning.
Hooray! Hooray!
Alice!
Everything you said is true.
I-I have neglected the business.
It isn't that I don't appreciate
what you've done for me.
It's just that...
I'm not built for it,
that's all.
You take handsome here.
He was meant to spend
his life in an ironworks.
And "Never Late" Early.
He even looks like a lampshade.
But me I-- Boy, I have nothing
in common with paper boxes.
Yes, I've...
I took it for a year,
on probation.
Isn't that beautiful, probation?
Like a criminal.
What was my crime?
I fell in love
with your daughter,
so I get a year
in a paper-box factory,
where, since 1889,
the Higgins Enterprises
have made a paper box
for 4 cents and sold it for 5.
If only once we could have
made it for 5 and sold it for 4.
That would've been
a welcome switch.
I know I sound crazy to you.
Maybe I am.
Maybe you strike me
the same way.
It's just that you're
only interested in one thing:
Accumulating wealth and gobbling
up the little fellow,
like this morning when you
snatched the Acme Lumber Company
from some poor little Joe
who spent his lifetime
building it up.
I hope it made you happy.
Young man! Don't--
Look at you!
Look at you! You haven't
had a vacation in over 40 years.
You're just rotting away here
in this little kingdom of yours!
Well, that's not my idea
of a way to live,
and it isn't Margaret's either.
And another thing, I wouldn't
get rid of that racehorse
for you or anybody else
in the world!
You wait!
Someday you're going to
take off your hat
to Broadway Bill.
That's true.
I was broke when I came here,
and I'm going to leave
the same way.
I'm turning back every dime
of the Higgins money.
Margaret and I'll make good
in our own way.
We'll get married in some little
church like decent people.
If it's all the same to you, you
can accept my two weeks' notice
two weeks ahead of time.
Margaret, I'll wait for you
in the car.
Dan!
Let's get on
with the meeting, Father.
Darling, you come back and
sit down and behave yourself.
Margaret, this is what I wanted
to talk to you about tonight.
Come on. Let's get out
of this prison, honey.
It's fun to be free.
You'll love it!
And Broadway Bill just isn't
any horse. He's a stakes winner.
He's got speed and stamina,
and he'll stay.
A man waits a lifetime
for such a horse, Margaret.
All right, all right.
But the invitations are out,
2,000 of them.
Do you want to ruin it all?
Let's get married
right away, tonight.
If I sit down
in this chair again,
I'm going to wind up
just like those two guys.
A Christmas tiger.
"Yes, J.L. Yes, J.L."
I can't handle it.
I'll be at the apartment,
packing.
Go with him, Margaret.
Go with him!
Oh, shut up!
Well, Emperor Higgins,
I hope you had fun.
Meeting is adjourned.
* All a millionaire's money *
* Couldn't build
a better abode *
* Than that someplace *
* On Anywhere Road *
You might have
something there at that.
Oh, yes, boss.
Come on, perk up.
* My new address
will be someplace *
* On Anywhere Road *
* Mmm-hm-mm-hmm *
* It's the prettiest someplace *
* On Anywhere Road *
* Anywhere Road *
* Got the fanciest rooftop
made of sky *
* Independently lucky am I *
* Don't need a nickel *
* I feel at home
when I'm someplace *
* On Anywhere Road *
* Heading for nowhere * Yes!
* Living up to
the vagabond code *
* And all a millionaire's
money *
* Couldn't build
a better abode *
* Than my someplace *
* On Anywhere Road *
Programs, programs.
What does the star mean
in front of the horse's name?
I don't know, kid.
I think the trainer's
got a boy in the service,
probably. I don't know.
Park him and go over
to see the racing secretary.
Yes, sir.
Hey, buddy, what's going on?
They're unloading Gallant Lady!
Gallant Lady!
Oh, this I gotta see!
Hey, Bill, here's that great
champion you're going to trim.
Hey, Bradshaw!
Bradshaw, come here!
Yes,
Mr. Whitehall.
Get all these people
out of the way.
And where
do you think you're going?
Don't race your motor, Mike.
Never mind, Mike.
Pat's the name. Get back.
Pat, let me see this horse.
Now,
look here, you blighters.
I'm not going to bring
Gallant Lady out
before a rabble like this.
She's not used to it.
She's too nervous.
Get off the platform, will you?
You hear what the man said?
Get back and take it easy,
will you?
Officer, discharge your duty!
Aw, shut up, you foreigner.
All clear, Mr. Whitehall.
Oh, all clear, eh?
Good. All right,
get her out of here.
Bring that pony out first.
All right, bring her out.
Keep her head down.
Watch her feet
and look at her hips.
Boy, that's a good-looking
filly, isn't she?
Certainly is.
Don't crowd her.
Well, hello.
Win, Place and Show, huh?
How are you, Mr. Howard?
Dan Brooks, you remember me?
Yeah, sure.
That your outfit?
That's the transportation
department
of the Dan Brooks Stable.
What are you hauling today?
The winner
of the Imperial Derby.
So? Want a tip?
Sure. What?
Enter the truck instead.
Who's getting your action?
I only bet on sure things.
Gallant Lady.
Oh, isn't that too bad?
Gallant Lady's going
to be seeing a lot
of that, come derby day.
I thought we were
betting on Sun Up.
Why don't you broadcast it.
There you are.
Okay. All made out, huh?
"Broadway Bill by
Burning Ginger, out of Mary D."
Well, at least
he's bred for speed.
Oh, he can scamper.
Now, Dan, you'll have to supply
three photos of his "night eyes"
for the Protective Bureau.
You mean the little wart
inside the hock?
Yes, it's a new gag.
That's different on all horses,
like fingerprints on a human.
Very tricky.
Here's your condition book.
Yes, sir.
Here are your owners' badges.
Say, what's this
about your wanting
to enter him
in the Imperial Derby?
Why, sure! We're going to
come back in style, boy!
Don't be a sucker, Dan.
You don't think he'd beat
the champ, Gallant Lady, do you?
What do you mean?
He'll pull a spring wagon
and tie that old mare in a knot.
What's the entry fee?
I gotta get out of here.
Okay, all right, you win.
It looks like you wrapped
all your horse sense
in one of those paper boxes.
Make out the stake blank.
It's $500.
Five hundred dollars?
Mm-hm.
Well, it's a $25,000 race.
I guess 500 is a fair fee.
Wouldn't you think, Mr. White?
Peanuts.
You want to make out
a check right now, Dan?
Now? Right...? Right now?
Well, you don't have to.
You can do it the day
before the race.
Two weeks off, if you like.
Ha-ha. I like.
I thought you would.
But you'll have to nominate him
before 6 tonight.
This is the last day.
I've got the nominating fee
right here.
Yes, sir, $25, huh?
Fifty dollars now, Dan.
Fifty?
Mm-hm. Things have gone up
in the last couple of years.
Say, Collins, how come
4 extra pounds on my horse?
What do you wanna do,
break him down?
He won his last two,
didn't he?
You wanna win them all?
And another thing. I'm not
going to enter another horse
until you loosen up that track,
Mr. Pencil-Pusher.
If you didn't have
blind staggers,
you could look out and see them
harrowing the track right now.
And don't call me
"Pencil-Pusher."
I'll go to Santa Anita,
where I'll get a break.
You can go to...
Oh, nothing but beefs.
Now, where are we, Dan?
I'm up to 43.
Oh...
Mad money.
Forty-four.
I have 44. Forty-four,
44, 44, we need 50.
Oh, ho, Whitey, let me hear
from you. I have 44, need 50.
Sure would surprise me.
You take a look in the vault.
Well, the ootbay
national ankbay.
Let's see what we have here.
Bless my soul, who would have
thought that was in there?
Came a little hard, didn't it?
Yes, sir.
A lonely, lovely little finif.
Thank you, brother White.
We have 49, need 50. Have 49,
need 50. We have 49, need 50.
Oh, ho, we have 49,
need 50. Have 49...
Fifty!
Thank you, sir.
You are a gentleman. If you're
ever down in Bourbon County,
the smokehouse's full
of hog meat,
and we got juleps 9 feet tall.
I guess we're all nuts!
But if this ever gets around,
I'll run you right
off this track.
Oh, nix cracken, Jimmy Bracken,
I'm as silent as the tomb.
There you are.
Thank you.
Now we'll have to have a stall.
Uh-oh. Stall. Now you got me.
Not a stall left on the track.
What do you want me to do,
tie up under a tree?
I was saving one
for you gypsies, but,
well, that Gallant Lady outfit
put the bee on me
for the whole shebang.
You know Gallant Lady,
name horse.
Oh, yeah, pulls in
the public, I guess.
Yes, she does.
Oh, wait a minute, now.
I have got one barn.
Old Pop Jones',
over here on Maple Street.
Not in very good shape, though.
Oh, we don't care.
Broadway Bill's no snob.
We'll take it.
Good.
Thank you, Mr. Pencil-Pusher.
Good luck, Dan,
and don't forget those photos.
Oh, no, we'll have them.
Bye, Whitey.
Say, Collins, what are you
doing, plowing up the track?
What is this, a corn field?
Gallant Lady won't run
on a soft track.
Now, I told you that.
So help me,
I'll scratch her
right out of the derby.
Will you take it easy,
Mr. Whitehall?
That track will be
lightning-fast come derby day.
I am doing this track a favor
by entering Gallant Lady,
and I want a fair shake,
and don't you forget it,
you pencil-pusher!
Hey, he needs a saliva test,
huh?
Gallant Lady.
Gallant Lady.
Oh, Gallant Lady. Oh, my dear.
Nice and comfortable inside.
Pretty well broke in, I guess.
Well, I guess
it's all right, Pop.
That'll be $25 dollars
a week, in advance.
In advance of what?
Well, before you move in.
Oh, we haven't moved in yet.
A few things I want to check.
Had some pretty fine
horses stay here.
Did they survive?
Eh?
Well, we won't quibble.
Now, who's the feed man?
Eh?
The feed man.
Who's the feed man?
Oh, the feed man.
Yeah.
Right here.
You?
Well, now, that's a break,
Whitey.
Pop's the feed man too.
Hallelujah!
Not too loud,
you'll wake up the termites.
Pop, there's a few things
we're going to need.
We'll need some barley,
some oats,
carrots, of course,
and a little salt,
about 10 pounds of salt.
Is this for cash?
Eh?
Eh?
Oh, you too?
Oh, since I was
a little shaver, yeah.
Just this ear,
though. Okay here.
I say, is this for cash?
Cash? Now,
what's the matter with you?
Don't you trust me?
Yeah, but I don't know you.
Well, I don't know you.
But it's my barn.
But it's my horse.
And another thing,
we'll need some cots.
Eh?
Some cots. C-O-T-S.
You know, to sleep on.
You're going to sleep in here?
Certainly!
You don't think...?
Pop, that's the horse
that's going
to win the Imperial Derby.
I couldn't let him sleep
in here all by himself.
Now, come on, Pop, get on
the ball. Wake up! Come alive!
We're letting you in
on a sure thing,
chance to pick up a bankroll.
This horse is a sleeper.
He's a what?
He's a sleeper! A sleeper!
You want a cot
for the horse too?
Say, he's a riot, isn't he?
Pop, you're a card.
You ought to be in vaudeville.
You're a riot! Look, now.
Come on, get on the ball.
We gotta get some food
in here for this horse.
Keep him on edge.
Keep him fit.
Get the stuff in here, now.
It's feeding time.
Got him fit and get him ready.
Come on, move, move!
Whitey?
Yes, sir, Mr. Brooks.
Remind me to get
down to the bank
in the morning
and make that deposit.
Oh, yes, sir. It ain't safe
to be carrying
that money around
in your pocket.
No, it wearies a body.
Mr. Brooks, you certainly
got some funny ideas.
Why?
When I go out to borrow money,
I generally wear my old clothes,
my old shoes and things.
It's plain to see
you don't appreciate
the secret of the race track,
then, Whitey.
Gotta put on a front.
If you look hungry and
down-at-the-mouth, you're dead.
Now, if these threads of mine
impress Professor Pettigrew
sufficiently,
our enforced diet is over.
Who's Professor Pettigrew?
Who's Professor Pettigrew?
Why, he's a gentleman,
a profound scholar
and a fellow you can bite
for a fast buck if he's got it.
I hope he's got it.
Oh, he's got it, all right.
The grapevine tells me that
the professor is literally
infested with the green stuff.
As a matter of fact,
he's worked out a system,
and he's had
15 straight winners.
Professor Pettigrew!
Yes, angel?
Take your feet off
my needlepoint chair!
Yes, chicken.
Happy, at long last, eureka!
For 15 years, ever since I left
the faculty of Yale University,
in utter boredom, I have been
working on the Pettigrew system
for beating the mutuels.
And now, voilà !
You know, he's beginning
to believe
that Yale baloney himself.
I've had my ups and downs,
but today
I can finally say that
my system is infallible.
It certainly is.
Fifteen straight losers.
How infallible can you get?
Is that so?
There, Einstein.
Gin.
By an investment
of a paltry $50,
I can show a profit of
a $165,000 within two weeks!
I read my fairy tales at night.
But it'll cease to be
a fairy tale when I get the 50.
Where you going to get it,
from vinegar-puss?
Professor Pettigrew!
Yes, my love.
I'll get the 50
from the finest gentleman
that ever raced a horse:
Dan Brooks, a very good
friend of mine.
Anybody who had 50 bucks
wouldn't be a friend of yours.
Is that so?
Well, Dan Brooks
is a captain of industry,
owns a paper mill,
and he's never
turned me down yet.
And what's more, we're going
to be his guests at lunch today.
He's going to buy us lunch?
At the Greenview Club, laddie,
where even the busboys have
to be bank presidents.
How do we get inside that place?
Disguised as salads?
You overlook the power
of culture, my friend.
I merely phoned them and said,
"Professor Pettigrew of Yale
is lunching with Mr. Brooks,
"the noted tycoon.
Prepare a table, please."
Oh, by the way,
have you a dime for carfare?
I never carry
any large denominations.
I see. Very well, we'll walk.
Now, the good professor's
been kind enough to invite me
to lunch with him
at the exclusive Greenview Club,
where the blue blood
flows like water
and the carpets are thicker
than porterhouse steaks.
Wish me luck, huh?
Ahh.
And if you can't get the money,
bring me back a piece
of that thick carpet.
Medium brown.
Here we are, Mr. Brooks.
Oh, Dan! Dan, my boy.
Well, this is a pleasure.
Professor.
Capital.
Gentlemen!
Oh, hello, hello.
How are you? Glad to see you.
Please lower your voices.
Rule of the club.
I'm sorry.
Sit down, professor.
I took the liberty of bringing
my business associate,
Oscar McGuire.
Oscar, this is Dan Brooks.
How are you, sir?
Stop me if I'm breathing
too loud.
Yeah, keep it soft,
or we'll get the heave-ho.
This, gentlemen,
this is an occasion.
After the separation
of many years,
Damon and Pythias are reunited.
Isn't this great?
Pythias.
Damon, old pal.
Waiter, a bottle of champagne
for auld lang syne.
Yes, and bring a thick steak
for auld Pythias too.
Yes, sir.
Bring the entire menu.
Fill up the table.
Bring everything.
Bring everything on.
And for you?
Anything.
I just came in to get warm.
Say, your friend's
pretty amusing, isn't he?
He comes up with some
polite stuff. Say, professor,
I hear you're
in the upper brackets.
Comme ci, comme ça.
Parlez Français, huh?
After all, a man's wealth
is the friendship
of those he admires.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well-put too. But I've heard
some things about you.
I hear you've got a system,
and it's rolling.
They tell me you're
knocking the ponies dead.
They say that you won
more money the other day
than you could carry away
from the race track.
True or false?
Eh, how about you?
Well, I can't complain.
My horse is eating.
I, uh... Oh!
Shh.
Modesty becomes you, Dan.
You great big industrialist.
Shh.
Wait a minute. We'll get
thrown out of here.
You know, I always said,
"Dan Brooks.
There's one man that will
really come through." Eh?
Yeah, you know what I've always
said about you, professor,
"You're a winner in my book.
A true-blue friend."
How long does this go on?
We're old pals, the social--
The bubbly has arrived.
Well, well.
I'm delighted
for this opportunity
to repay your past favors,
Dan, my boy.
Well, thank you, professor.
You're very sweet.
I have a little
mathematical certainty.
Yes?
I have a little
mathematical certainty
that should net us
precisely $160,000.
Oh, yeah?
I wouldn't let anyone
in on it but you.
Say, it sounds good.
A toast.
A toast.
A toast to the birth
of a new syndicate.
Pettigrew and Brooks.
Pettigrew supplies the brains.
Brooks supplies the money.
With a start of a mere $50
and the use of a little
applied calculus,
I have a system
of parlays worked out--
Uh, professor. Do these flapping
old ears of mine deceive me,
or did you come here to put
the bite on me for 50 bucks?
Oh, nothing as vulgar as that.
This is an investment
in the progress
of science, my boy.
Well, don't look now, professor,
but we're back in the Dark Ages.
You mean?
I came here to put the bite
on you for a grand.
You mean to tell me
you're broke?
Down to the bricks.
I beg your pardon?
And, uh, I came here...
And you came here--
I guess so.
Well, that's the funniest...
It's sensational.
What's so funny about that?
He's trying to bite me.
I'm trying to bite him.
Nobody's got a quarter.
Waiter, more champagne!
Gentlemen, please, please.
You're disturbing our patrons.
I'm a little disturbed myself.
Gentlemen.
Professor.
Yes?
Come in the office.
What is the exact extent
of your financial embarrassment?
The lower depths.
Not even enough
to pay for this meal?
Not one bubble of this
very delightful champagne.
Well, maybe we can get something
back on the bottle, huh?
Hey, how's your wallet?
I don't know.
I ate it yesterday.
Well, gentlemen.
We appear to be in something
of a situation.
To the situation.
We might as well get
to like one another.
We're going to be together
for at least 30 days.
All right, gentlemen?
Sure. Cut up another 30 days.
I, um...
I have been mulling
the problem over in my mind.
Yes?
I have come to a simple
but adequate conclusion.
I know, we all drop dead.
Oh, not that.
Quiet, quiet, quiet.
Gentlemen, just gaze about you.
Yes?
All we have to do
is to shock the sensibilities
of this prize collection
of stuffed shirts,
and we will be promptly ejected.
You know, I think
he's got something.
What'll we do?
Jump up and down
and slug each other
with tea bags?
No, no, no, gentlemen.
We are in our cups.
Or as we used to say at Yale,
we are "stinko."
You mean we are loaded?
We are fractured.
Well, here we go.
* We are poor little lambs
who have lost our way *
Take the tenor.
* Baa, baa, baa *
* We are little black sheep
who have gone astray *
Please.
* Baa, baa, baa *
Gentlemen, I beg of you.
* Baa, baa, baa, baa, baa, baa *
* Gentlemen songsters
off on a spree *
* Doomed from here To eternity *
Any decent restaurant
would have had us
in the gutter by now.
It's crawling with Yale men.
Class of '82.
This is outrageous! How can
anyone eat in this bedlam?
Why, I understood this
to be a dignified,
quiet salle à manger,
not a Hofbrauhaus.
We are leaving.
Out of the way.
Is anything wrong?
Anything wrong?!
You expect us to eat
in this collegiate cacophony?
You'll have a sharp note
from ASCAP, sir.
Yes, but you were the ones
who begun this.
Us?
We're Harvard men.
* ...as we *
* Baa, baa, baa *
Here we are.
Uh-uh.
Give.
You drive a sharp bargain,
my friend.
Yes, sir.
That's the new light type.
You'll like that.
Yeah. Well, it ain't exactly
the size I wanted.
What do you want for
a hamburger? A telephone pole?
Oh, I ain't kicking,
but I should ought
to have a hat or...
Hey.
I'll give you a Coke
for the hat.
That's ridiculous.
We were just served champagne
for a song.
Sure.
Pie for the tie.
Wouldn't have anything
to hang myself with.
What's the matter
with you fellows?
I thought you was hungry.
You should ought to have
some dessert or something.
Wait. Look these over.
We may be in for dinner tonight.
Spats. You should ought
to see me in spats.
I'd be a sight for sore eyes
in spats.
Wait till this peasant
finds out about shoes.
Oh, I've got shoes.
Congratulations.
I'll give you another hamburger
for the spats.
No, no, he's dedicating a
drive-in market this afternoon.
Maybe tonight. We'll see.
Okay.
Dinner tonight for the hat,
spats and tie. Is that a deal?
Muff off.
Huh?
We've got a little business
to talk over. Do you mind?
Oh-oh, sure, sure, sure.
Say, if you've got anything
my wife can use...
Bring her in,
and we'll cut her up.
Smart guy, huh?
Well, little man, what now?
Raising $500 may prove
to be a slight hazard.
Professor, you've been
a disappointment.
Don't worry, my friend.
From now on, my time and wisdom
will be devoted entirely
to your welfare.
I feel sorry for you.
Oh, is that so?
Well, I have a brilliant idea
already. My ace in the hole.
Edna.
Edna?
A 50-to-1 shot. You'd have
to marry her first.
Who would Edna be?
That's the vinegar-puss landlady
at the boarding house.
Well, why would she expect him
to marry her?
Confidentially,
Dan, I encouraged it.
An economic necessity, you know.
I see.
That'll give you an idea
of what I've been driven to.
"Driven to," my foot.
He'd rather make phony love
to that vinegar-puss
than go to work.
Trouble is,
he's got a vinegar-puss
in every race track town
in the country.
It's kept me in food and lodging
for years. And you too.
Just--
Now, wait a minute.
This vinegar-puss, uh--
Whatever you call her.
Do you think she might fall
for a Ford truck?
That's what I would call
a perfect mating.
What's the idea, Dan?
Well, this Ford truck,
I don't think
any used-car dealer
would have anything
to do with it.
Maybe I could get 50 bucks
for it from her.
What's good 50
when you need 500?
There's a maiden race tomorrow
for $1,000.
We drop Broadway Bill in there.
We're home free.
But I need the 50 slugs
for the jockey and for expenses.
An inspiration, Dan.
I'll make love as
I never made love before.
Vinegar-puss will own
a Ford truck
if I have to make
the supreme sacrifice.
Bravo. Let us pray such
a necessity never arises.
A 100-to-1 shot.
Hey, Happy. Who do you like
in the first race?
Drop dead.
Thanks.
Oh...
Oh... Oh...
Is this it?
Yes, my dear.
Sturdy and dependable.
What's it supposed to be?
Come, my beloved.
Broadway Bill is in
the third race. Allow me.
Oh, darling. I didn't sleep
a wink last night
thinking about you.
You make love so beautifully.
Yes, I know.
But that's only the beginning,
angel, only the beginning.
What's the matter? They've been
there for ten minutes.
They're having trouble
with Broadway Bill.
Looks like we need
some help with that five horse.
Somebody get ahold of him.
But, sugar,
we've still got time.
Just 10 dollars.
No.
But 5 dollars.
No.
Well, 2 dollars.
No.
But, sugar, I saw him
work out this morning.
I'm not going to bet.
I guess she's not going
to bet, professor.
I guess not, and I hope she gets
a worm in her Adam's apple.
Oh, sugar.
Where did
that thing come from?
Get behind him and load him.
Okay, Ray.
Get him up closer.
Now, sit still on him, rider.
Whoa!
Just sit still.
I don't think he's quite
ready yet, Mr. Brooks.
Oh, he's ready.
Sure, he's ready.
It's just that gate's new
to him, and all those horses.
Once they ring that bell,
he'll be so far out in front
he'll feel at home again.
- You've got a bad horse here.
- Whoa.
Number five.
He's half-horse and half-nuts.
Put him on the school list
before he starts again.
Kind of homesick, huh, pal?
But you gotta take on
a little nourishment, you know.
Come on, Bill, here.
It's a carrot, Bill.
Come on, Bill.
Here. Go on.
When he turns down carrots,
he's lost interest
in everything.
Yeah, I don't think
he's going to perk up either
until that rooster comes.
Think she's going to send him?
I don't know. She hasn't even
answered my letter.
Skeeter.
Skeeter.
Skeeter.
Skeeter.
Oh, princess,
am I glad to see you.
Dan, you're smothering Skeeter.
Oh, Skeeter, a thousand pardons.
Hey, Bill.
Look who's here.
It's your old buddy-buddy.
Here. Here, look here.
Look here.
Look here.
Ain't that beautiful?
Hello, Bill.
Hello, Whitey.
Good to see you.
He's a new horse already.
Look at him. I was going to
call a psychiatrist.
Whitey, walk him
a bit, will you?
Why, sure.
Come on, boy.
Go strut your stuff.
There he goes again.
He wants to go for a walk too.
Get out of here. Princess,
you're a lifesaver, really.
Isn't that a riot?
Now, who'd think
those two would
go for each other?
That's the way
with a horse, though.
You get him a mascot.
He gets attached to him.
You take him away,
boom, he falls apart.
You didn't have
to bring Skeeter.
Why didn't you ship him, honey?
I didn't know where
to paste the stamps.
Come on, sit down here. Bring me
up to date on everything.
How's Margaret?
Oh, she's all right. She's fine.
How's she look?
Beautiful as ever?
Yeah, more so.
Well, come on, tell me.
When did you see her last?
How'd she look?
What was she wearing?
Did she have her hair piled up
in back the way I like it?
Yes, it was up.
Oh, I can just see her.
You miss her, Dan?
Oh, miss her and how.
Did she say anything
about coming down?
No, not to me, she didn't.
Well, how'd you know
about Skeeter, then?
Well, she let me
read your letter.
Uh-huh.
She read it to me, that is.
And she said that I should
bring Skeeter down to you.
She did? You see.
She's beginning to weaken.
I knew she would. I'll have her
out of Higginsville
quicker than you can say,
"Never Late Early."
Give her a big kiss for me
when you get back.
I would, but I'm not going back.
What? Come on, infant, you're--
No. No, I'm not.
What have we here?
It could be my purse.
The finance company has arrived.
Are you my pal? True or false?
True.
Well, then you'll hold still
for a light touch, I'm sure.
How light?
Let's see
what you're holding here.
Lipstick, eyebrow pencil, comb,
compact, things and--
Oh, pay dirt!
I'll take this.
You may have that.
Well, that seems fair.
With this 50, I can enter Bill
in an overnight race tomorrow.
If he wins, I'll have 500
to put him in the big heat.
Oh, he'll win.
Oh, he'll walk his beat.
And after he wins the big one,
I'll pay you this back
with interest.
Did I save you enough
for a train fare home?
It doesn't matter.
I'm staying at the hotel
till after the race.
No, no.
Yes, I am.
Oh, no, you're on your way.
Don't be so patronizing.
I'm staying.
You can't stay.
You can't hang around
a race track town all alone.
Well, why not?
Well, for one thing,
you're developing into
a very tasty little dish.
You think I'll have
any difficulty down here?
There's a lot of characters
I know that would just love
to add you to their
crockery collection.
Fine. I'll get myself
a rosy-cheeked
peasant and get married.
Great. Great. L'amour comes
to la Princesse, huh?
Now you're talk--
I tell you what.
Why don't you save yourself
for old Dan, huh?
After Margaret gives me
the brush,
why, you and I can hit the road
together, just like tramps.
* Oh, ho, for the open road *
Won't that be dandy?
Yeah, that's a good idea
if my peasant doesn't object.
Ah-ha. You've got him
all picked out.
You've been operating
since we left Higginsville.
What did you grab?
Some big All-American, I'll bet.
No.
Well, who, then?
Come on, tell Grandma--
Oh, don't be so smart.
He's perfect.
He's the ideal man.
He's 11 feet tall.
He hasn't any ears,
and he eats little babies.
Here, wait a minute, princess.
Hey, wait a minute.
Princess, I'm sorry.
Come on. This is old
dancing Dan, your pal.
The fellow with the songs
and the lively patter.
Come on. Give us a smile, big.
Show the china.
Let's see them all.
That's better. That's better.
That's the princess
we love and adore.
Look, honey. You marry anybody
you want to, hear?
You go to the hotel and check in
and stick around for the race
if you wanna too.
It's your life.
You live it.
That's what I've
always preached.
Thanks, Dan.
Come on, sermon's over.
School's out. Beat it now.
I gotta get Broadway Bill
used to the starting gate.
Horses I understand, fair.
But women, aye...
Whitey.
Yes?
Hey, bubblehead.
You mean you got me up
this morning just to see this?
Early bird, Happy.
Early bird.
Take a deep breath of fresh air.
Get something in your lungs.
Live.
Ride him up close, rider.
Hey, Sid.
I think he's catching on.
Yes, bring him back tomorrow,
and if he breaks all right,
I'll take him off
the schooling list.
Thanks.
Isn't it amazing
what a difference
that little rooster makes?
Smile, Skeeter.
Why don't you slap
a saddle on the rooster.
You might have a better chance.
Oh, you think so, huh?
You'd holler if you're hung
with a new rope.
Hey, jock.
This time don't pull him up.
Work him out a good mile,
will you?
- I wanna clock him.
- All right, Mr. Brooks.
Ready his head.
Who's that black horse?
He's really traveling.
Oh, that's that Brooks'
Broadway Bill by Burning Ginger.
They all look good when
they're working alone.
There's nothing running
this morning.
Come on, let's get out of here.
I got a date.
He's really moving.
Holy smoke,
I wouldn't believe it.
What'd he do it in?
1:39.
Crying to run all the way.
Shake that watch.
I think it's ad-libbing.
Why, he was sired by Pegasus.
Whitey, go get the champion
and cool him out
and bring him in.
Hurry up.
Yes, sir. 1:39.
How about that? I've never seen
a 3-year-old work--
Uh-oh. Here comes a spy
from the Confederate Army.
Oh, we're cooked.
Well, Dad. I'm glad you came
around. We just clocked him.
Ninety-two dollars
and 72 cents.
Oh, I love the way
you ease into a conversation.
Eh?
I say, you should've been here.
You know what he worked in?
I don't give a hang.
I want this feed bill paid.
Pop, I promised you--
I can't pay my bills
with promises.
You got no bank account, mister.
I checked up on you.
Either I get my money now,
or I go to the law.
Now, my dear friend, if you're
worried about a paltry 92.82,
my good friend here,
Professor Pettigrew,
will be only too happy to vouch
for my financial stability.
Right, professor?
Why, of course, of course.
Let's pay this vulture off
and be rid of him.
How much is it, $1,000?
Oh, no, no, professor.
It would be senseless
to break a big bill here.
Just tell him you guarantee
my obligations.
To the full limit
of my resources.
There you are.
You see?
I don't see nothing.
Never saw him before.
Never heard of him.
Looks like a phony to me.
Ha!
Eh?
He's a rival tycoon.
This isn't funny.
No, I know, but he's really
one of the biggest operators--
I don't give a hang who he is,
I want my money.
Well, you're going to get it.
But you don't understand.
You're not coordinating.
We're letting you in
on a good thing.
Horse named Broadway Bill
just worked a mile in 1:39,
with the jock sitting
right against him. Eh?
He worked the mile in 1:39.
Wait a minute.
What's the idea
of telling him that?
Mr. Cadwalliger, I--
I thought this was
a private syndicate.
I have a jolly good mind
to withdraw my $25,000.
Now, now--
I didn't invest $25,000
to have you slip the information
to a penny-ante feed man.
He's not that.
He's not at all.
Pop Jones is one of my oldest
and truest friends.
I don't care if he's your
half-wit brother.
But he can be trusted,
I tell you.
You can trust a mug
with a puss like that.
I won't. I'm through.
Mr. Cadwalliger--
Let him go.
I shall assume his obligation.
No, professor, you're in for
$50,000 already. That's enough.
Why, it's a trifle, a trifle.
Your horse
is good enough for me.
Come along.
I'll wire my brokers.
Well, sir, I--
I hope I didn't cause you
no trouble, Mr. Brooks.
Trouble? Don't you ever
let that happen again.
No, no.
Let what happen again?
Mr. Brooks, don't drop
our dinner. It might bend.
Don't you be belittling
these beans, boy.
I'm just going to
let them simmer a little,
cut in a few of Bill's carrots,
add a soupçon of paprika,
a dash of lemon.
You can cut out the lemon.
Why?
Because we're fresh out of them.
Say. Looks like it's blowing up
a little rain, Whitey.
Good for us tomorrow.
Old Bill loves the mud.
Shower down, rain.
Let me hear from you.
Hey, somebody's in the barn.
Hope it ain't the feed man.
Oh, you.
Welcome to the Higgins
Greasy Spoon.
What's going on here?
What are you doing?
Nothing much.
It just seemed to me
this shack needed
a woman's touch.
Now, look.
You're a nice kid,
but you can't stake a claim
around these diggings.
We can take care of ourselves
all right, now beat it.
You've been doing
a pretty sloppy job of it.
You two look like you're
in the last stages of beriberi.
What have you
been living on, beans?
Why is it all women want
to play Florence Nightingale?
We've been eating like pigs,
haven't we, Whitey?
That's the word.
Mm-hm.
Besides, if you wanna
hang around here,
you've got to wear pants.
What do you think these are?
Those look like my best Levi's.
You been into my bag?
No.
Come on, take them off.
Take off my Levi's.
Come on.
Whose are they?
Are they mine?
No, they're mine.
Well, you look very cute
in them, as you well know.
Sure. Ravishing.
What did you do?
Corner that little
peasant somewhere?
Go on, I've got work to do.
I don't know if I wanna--
Pushed around in my own place.
Anyway, how do you expect
to win a race if you don't eat?
I ain't running.
Wha-- Whitey!
Oh, come hither.
Oh!
Princess, you're an angel
from heaven.
Looks like I'm marrying
the wrong woman.
Mm-hmm.
Isn't this a beauty? This nice,
brown, luscious roast chicken.
Skeeter! Skeeter!
Don't worry about Skeeter.
Princess wouldn't do that.
She loves Skeeter.
Skeeter's--
Is he there? Mm-hm.
Well, we got peas,
mashed potatoes, chicken.
Where's the dessert?
Dessert yet?
I suppose you expected
a great big cake with no flour,
no baking powder, no eggs...
Who needs those things?
We bake a cake every night here
without them. Don't we, Whitey?
Yeah, man, out of sunshine.
Stand by.
* Poing mi, pleet-baa,
pleet-baa, pleet-baa *
* Pleet-baa, pleet-baa *
* We ought to bake
a sunshine cake *
* Oh, we ought to bake
a sunshine cake *
What's that?
What's a sunshine cake?
* Why don't we get
the stuff together *
* And demonstrate how to bake
us up a sunshine cake *
* Mama *
* Oh, we ought to bake
a sunshine cake *
* It does more good
than a big, thick steak *
* You start with
a tablespoon of trouble *
Then?
* Then add a smile *
* And let it bubble up, up * Up?
* Oh, we ought to bake
a sunshine cake *
* It really isn't
so hard to make *
How?
* Fresh tears *
* A pound or two of pleasure *
* Kind words *
* Needn't use a measure cup *
So?
* Oh, it's not from... *
Dinner.
* ...a recipe book *
* And you don't have
to be a good cook *
The chicken.
* Or run to the oven and look *
Ow!
* With such a simple dish,
all you do is wish *
* So why not bake
a sunshine cake *
* Of course, it may keep
your dreams awake *
* Friends say there's nothing
like the flavor *
Really?
* Don't wait to do
your friends a favor *
* And for goodness' sake *
* What are we waiting for? *
* Let's bake a sunshine cake *
Ladies and gentlemen.
Due to technical difficulties
beyond our control,
the program originally scheduled
for this time
will now be heard.
* Well, we've got
the right ingredients *
* So let's proceed *
* Cheerful disposition,
that's all we need *
* Bits of happy poetry
we need a lot *
* Nothing *
* Add a little dreaming
of the cobweb type *
* Put on your slippers,
then you light your pipe *
* Then add a little feeling,
here's a measure cup *
* And then you give it to
the lady, let her stir it up *
* Stir it up? *
* Stir it up *
* Stir it up * * No fuma *
* SÃ, sÃ, sÃ,
da, da, da, da, da, da, da *
* Hey * * Hopa, hopa *
* Rumba *
* Riba *
* Yes, arumba, arumba,
hello, toowee bravo *
* Enchilada *
* Low bridge * Olé.
Olé.
* Look out, we're coming
round you *
* Nobody heard *
* Señorita, be my guest *
SÃ, señor.
¿Como dice?
* Da, da, da, da, dum, dum *
* SÃ, sÃ, sÃ, da, da, da,
da, da, da, da, hey! *
* Ba, da, da, da *
* It's got vitamins A *
* Vitamins B *
* Vitamins L-O-V-E *
* It's fine if you're fat *
* Finer if you're thin *
* What's wrong if you get
a double grin? *
* Oh, you ought to bake
a sunshine cake *
* Oh, she ought to bake
a sunshine cake *
* I can't bake a sunshine cake *
* You both better go
and jump in the lake *
* Oh, for goodness' sake *
* Why don't we check
on the chicken *
* We can't live
on a sunshine cake *
* We ought to bake
a sunshine cake *
* Oh, we ought to bake
a sunshine cake *
* Oh, we ought to bake
a sunshine cake *
* Of course, it may keep
your dreams awake *
* Don't wait to do
your friends a favor *
* Let's bake a sunshine cake *
Alle, alle oxen free.
* Of course, it may keep
your dreams awake *
Hey!
* Friends say *
* There's nothing
like the flavor *
* Don't wait to do
your friends a favor *
John Chuck.
Endoina.
* And for goodness' sake,
let's-- *
Cake is done, son.
Sure enough?
Oh-ho. It's souffléd
and frappéd.
Dinner.
Oh, what a beautiful sonata.
The number one song
on the hit parade.
Just bring that great big,
brown, beautiful bird over here.
We'll take some and leave some,
It's hot.
But not much.
Mmm.
Oh, the rain's coming in.
Oh, let it come in.
I could eat this bird
underwater.
Give me some equipment here.
Right.
Give me a fork and a--
Sir.
A good, sharp knife.
All right, the act's over.
That's all. It's been on.
Pretty happy tonight,
aren't you?
Oh, I ought to be happy.
Tomorrow, we're going to win
that $1,000 race.
And after that,
we'll win the big one,
and we'll prove
to Margaret that--
* We ought to bake
a sunshine cake *
Mr. Brooks,
the rain's coming in.
All right, let it rain.
I'm busy.
I'm working on this bird.
You really want to win
that big race, don't you?
Oh, honey, you'll never
know how much.
I got to win that money
to breed horses.
You will. I've got
my fingers crossed.
Mr. Brooks, the rain's
coming in, right over Bill.
Whoa, Bill. Now, steady.
Whoa, Bill, whoa.
Here, now, Bill.
Here, steady.
Let's get the doors
and the windows.
You get that big door there.
Yes, sir.
What about dinner?
Come on, Bill.
Here, boy. Here, Bill.
Come on, Bill.
Here. Here, now.
Here, boy. Here, here,
here. Come on, Bill.
Whoa, whoa.
Whoa, Bill. Here.
Whoa.
Hey, get me a dry blanket.
This thing is soaking wet.
Here.
Come here, boy.
Here. Whoa, boy.
You'll be all right now.
You'll be all right.
Steady. Whoa, Bill.
It's raining right
on top of him.
Come on with that blanket!
Hurry up!
Yeah, I'll fix that. Come find
a warm place to move him.
Okay.
Steady, Bill.
Steady, Bill, old boy.
Ain't no such thing.
No dry place?
It looks like a punchboard.
Whitey, you stay right
with that horse, now.
Don't let him get excited.
Hum to him. Build a fire.
Dan, can I help?
No, you stay out of the way.
You'll get hurt.
Bradshaw.
Put Bradshaw on!
Yes, Mr. Whitehall?
Hello, Bradshaw.
How's Gallant Lady?
It's beginning
to rain pretty hard.
Make sure that all
the windows are shut.
Don't let any drafts come in.
We don't want her
catching any colds.
And watch that thermostat!
Don't let it vary
more than 2 degrees.
Righto, I'll hop to it.
Now, you blighters,
check all those windows.
What are you doing up here?
Go on, get back down.
Do you wanna get hurt?
Whoa, boy.
I don't think
it's ever going to let up.
Here, give me one of those
mustard plasters, will you?
Hurry up.
Here you are.
Let me have them.
Here, Bill.
Here, Bill.
Whoa, boy.
How is he?
Warm?
No, he's still shivering.
Get another one ready,
will you? Right away.
Poor darling, you're not going
to get sick on us, are you?
Of course not.
Here, boy.
Just keep him up on his feet.
Don't let him get down,
or we're cooked.
Whoa, baby.
Whoa.
It's pretty cold in here.
What time is it, Whitey?
Four o'clock.
Four o'clock?
I'll make you some coffee.
You'll be all right.
Oh!
Hey, big boy.
What now?
I don't know.
Well...
Well done, huh?
Oh, you poor kid,
you must be beat.
You look worse than the chicken.
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm kidding, honey.
Here, come on over here,
where you can stretch out
and get some rest.
I'm sorry, Dan.
I'll be all right.
I wanna help.
No, you must be beat.
You must be knocked out.
I'm not sleepy!
Get the coat off and lie down.
You should be back in the hotel,
where you can keep warm,
instead of over here
trying to do the work
of five or six roustabouts.
Sit down there
and give me your boots.
Oh, you poor kid.
You wanted to come
to the races, huh?
My old sleeping bag.
You'll be all right.
We'll get you zipped up here,
and you'll be snug
as a bug in a rug.
How that?
That's fine.
That better?
Thanks, Dan.
You're a sweet kid, princess.
No kidding.
Okay.
Get some rest now.
Dan?
Hey?
Don't worry, everything
will be all right.
Yeah. Sure.
Sick animal.
It's pretty bad, huh?
He's running a high fever.
I just gave him
a shot of penicillin.
But with a cold like that,
it may be some time
before the horse runs.
He looks so pathetic.
Every two hours, give him these.
Send the boy with me,
and I'll send you back
some capsules.
Okay.
Save a lot of time.
Say, doc, he's entered
in the big race Saturday.
What am I going to do?
Saturday?
Well, I don't know,
that's a week off.
Horses are very funny.
Sometimes they snap out of it
just like that.
And sometimes...
But don't work him until
the fever disappears,
and he starts eating again.
Even then, I wouldn't
work him too hard.
Give his heart a chance.
Rest him till the very
last minute. All right, Whitey.
Come on, Bill.
Come on.
You're not going to let
Dan down now, are you?
You're not going to let
a little cold stop you.
Come on, try and get up.
Well, do we or do we not
call this whole thing off?
I don't want a fiasco
happening around here.
They're hinting at it already.
Father, don't you dare call
anything off. It's my wedding.
I warned you, Margaret,
you and your hockey players
and jockeys.
And it's coming off
according to schedule,
and neither you nor
any horse is going to stop it.
Why don't you do
something about it?
What's Alice doing down there?
Oh, she took him down
a pet rooster or something.
Rooster?
Has she gone crazy too?
I don't like it. That's no place
for her, the little imp.
Oh, stop worrying about Alice.
She'll be back, and so will Dan.
Yes? Perhaps.
That's what I came
to see you about.
I know the others have
been talking to you
about the paper-box factory.
Well, I can't hold his job
open indefinitely.
You owe it to me
to hold it open for him.
It was your fault he left.
My fault the man
doesn't like paper boxes?
You thought you could
order him around,
the way you do Mary's husband,
and Mathilda's.
He didn't wanna leave.
He loves me. You drove him away.
We always get around
to this, don't we?
Imagine the position
that you've put me in.
People are saying
I have a horse for a rival,
and the horse is winning out.
Well, it's true, isn't it?
And you're not doing
a thing to stop it.
If that horse wins a race,
you'll never see
Dan Brooks again.
Oh, Father, be your age.
The day of miracles is over.
I inquired about Broadway Bill.
The man at the nightclub
said he was a pig.
Pig?
Yes?
A man by the name
of Butch calling, sir.
Butch?
Oh. Oh, yes. Yes. Put him on.
Hello, Mr. Butch?
Are you prepared to accept
a wager on a pig--? A horse?
Come on, let's get up.
Try. Come on, get up.
Dan's out there worrying.
You don't want Dan
to worry over you, do you?
Come on, Bill.
Come on, try.
Try to get up. We gotta
win that race Saturday, Bill.
Come on, boy. Come on, now,
try real hard. Try.
We're going up this time.
Come on. Here we go.
This time, we get up.
Come on.
Come on. Come--
Come on, boy.
Up you go.
Dan, he's getting up!
Huh?
Dan! Dan, he's up!
Oh, you old goldbrick artist.
You're going to be all right.
Come on.
Come on, get up on your toes.
On your feet.
Whitey! Whitey!
Oh, Whitey!
Whitey, bring us a carrot.
Come on.
Oh, I got some right here.
Here, Bill. Here.
Look, he's eating.
Oh, this horse has got a heart
as big as a grandstand.
He's going to be okay.
Think he'll be able
to run on Saturday?
Run? He'll dance!
* A do-si-do and away we go!
Do-si-do-- *
What are we doing dancing here?
We got work to do.
Ouch!
Come on, Bill. Come on, boy.
But the vet said
not to work him.
Oh, he don't know this horse.
This is a different horse.
Come on, Bill.
You big sissy, you.
Come on, boy.
Come, Bill. Here, Bill.
Come on, you big, black...
Come on, boy.
He's going to run Saturday.
He's going to win Saturday.
Come on.
Big old goldbrick, in there
goldbricking on me, weren't you?
You was goldbricking on me.
Yes, you was.
No, professor, I--
Oh, I nearly forgot.
Compliments of vinegar-puss.
Well, isn't this dandy?
Fine.
Oh, sinkers again.
Don't you ever have any
meat over at your house?
Meat? Meat?
What's meat?
Professor, I don't think
we can take a chance.
The vet told me not to dare
run this horse until Saturday.
So we gotta find some other way
to raise the $500.
Are you with me?
To the bitter end, my friend.
Now, I have a suggestion.
Of course, it's likely to jar
your tender sensibilities,
but suppose we go
to work for it?
Oh, my allergy.
It's our only hope.
There's a lot of ways
you can pick up
a little quick scratch
around a racing town.
Why don't you go collect Happy
and see what you can do.
Well, the shock will
probably kill him,
and I feel slightly
nauseous myself.
Godspeed, professor.
Whitey?
Yes, sir?
You got any ideas?
Oh, yes, sir. My acrobats
are ready to perform.
Can I help too?
That's a handsome offer, honey,
but it's a man's job.
Five hundred is a lot of money.
I just let Whitey
and the professor in on it
so they'd feel good.
I could raise the whole
bundle myself.
Matter of fact,
I'm on my way now,
down to the bank
where they know me.
Open. Let's see.
Boing. So long.
I tell you,
that dog was leading
all the way and got
beat by that much.
Mr. Bagley?
Yes, ma'am.
Did you see that last race?
I wouldn't bet him
with your dough.
He hadn't had a horse out of--
Say, bud, they still giving
15 bucks a pint for this stuff?
Where you been? Twenty-five,
as long as it's red.
Oh, happy day.
Well, they can
drain me dry, boy.
I'm going to leave here loaded.
Hey? Who do you like
in the fifth?
Oh, I gotta pick up a fast 500.
I need a long shot.
There's a thing in there
called Fancy Felice,
going to be about 30-for-1.
Yeah.
I'm betting my pint on her, boy.
Well, it's your blood.
- Fancy Felice.
- Mr. Brooks.
Hit me with that happy needle.
Leave me enough
to get home on, huh?
Roll your sleeve down.
What?
Your blood count's rather low.
You haven't been eating
regularly, have you?
Oh, you must have got ahold
of a bad corpuscle
or something, sister.
Here, try the other arm.
Yeah, I know.
We have a fund
for fellows like you.
Go out and get
yourself a good meal.
- Mr. Shaugnessy?
- Here.
I'm Dan Brooks.
I own Broadway Bill.
He's going to win the derby.
Not if he hasn't been eating
any better than you have.
Go in, Mr. Shaugnessy.
Thanks.
What's with you?
Late scratch.
I'm just a drip
without a drop, I guess.
Right at the captain's house.
Come on, dice.
Ten is the play.
A dollar
and six bits on ten.
Ten.
Wait a minute.
- Loaded.
- You double-crosser, you!
Hello.
Yes?
Um...
How do you hock something?
First time, huh?
Just put it on the counter,
lady. It's painless.
At last we're back in action.
Pick a sucker.
It would be difficult
to pick one who wasn't.
Now, remember, all we make
goes to Broadway Bill.
I don't care what it's for,
as long as we work.
Maybe you'll get used
to the idea and like it.
Oh, there he is.
I never knew a fellow could have
so much bad luck
in one day, in all my life.
I'm sure my wife will give me
the dickens for this.
Our first victim,
and dripping with innocence.
Beautiful.
Go get him.
* Pick them and pluck them *
* Pick them and pluck them *
If you had such bad luck
all the day long as I've had...
I don't know what I'm going
to tell the old woman.
I beg your pardon, uh, could I
borrow your pencil for a moment?
Oh, sure.
Uh, the ear.
Oh, there you are, sir.
Thank you.
Your attention, please.
Doughboy, number three,
is 2 pounds overweight.
Pardon me, sir,
do you own horses?
What was that?
Do you own horses?
Well, naturally.
- Thank you.
- Colonel Snodgrass.
Colonel Snodgrass! I've been
looking all over for you.
The big boss says for you
to scratch your horse.
Scratch my horse? What do
you mean, scratch my horse?
It's going to be a boat race.
They got it all set for--
Oh, got him all set to win.
Shh.
He said to tell you
and nobody else.
Thank you, sonny boy.
Well, good day.
Good-- Pardon me, sir.
Couldn't let a fellow
in on it, could you?
On what?
On the name of the horse.
The one they've got
all set to win.
Oh, no, no.
I couldn't do that.
Oh, I've had awfully bad luck.
I haven't had a winner all day.
I'm sorry, my friend, but these
things are confidential.
If too many people wager,
it brings the odds down.
Oh, I won't bet too much,
just enough to kind of get even.
Sorry, stranger. Sorry.
Oh, gee whiz.
How would you like
the name of that horse?
How would I like it?
Say, listen--
Okay, It'll cost you $25.
Twenty-five dollars!
All right, forget it!
No! Just a minute.
Don't get excited.
I'm taking a chance
on losing my job, ain't I?
Yeah, but that's
an awful lot of money.
Come on, make it snappy.
Somebody might see us.
There you are. Now, what's
the name of the horse?
What?
What's the name of the horse?
Doughboy.
Doughboy!
Don't go spreading it around.
Oh, you can trust me.
I never talk.
Doughboy. Doughboy.
Doughboy.
Doughboy. Doughboy.
Doughboy. I just got
word right from the stables.
Can't lose. Doughboy!
Bet all you got on Doughboy.
Doughboy. It's in the bag.
It's all fixed.
They're going to hit Doughboy.
Hock the family jewels
and bet it on Doughboy.
Give me a 150 bucks on Doughboy.
All the money my wife's
got in the world. Hey!
How much will you give me for
this suit?
Can't use it.
Here, I milked him for 25.
Excellent.
You know, it grieves me
to see the gullibility
of the human race.
What fleabag did you give him?
Doughboy.
Doughboy. Ho, ho! Why, Doughboy
hasn't the ghost of a chance.
Okay. Pick another sucker.
Oh, a pleasure.
* Pick them and pluck them
Pick them and pluck them *
I beg your pardon, but could I
borrow your pencil for a moment?
Oh, I'll mark your program, sir.
Number three. Doughboy.
Can't lose, can't lose.
I got the lowdown
on the next race: Doughboy.
Doughboy on the schnoz.
He can't miss.
I just come from the stable.
Get down on him. Doughboy.
Doughboy will walk in.
The smart money's on Doughboy.
Doughboy's hot.
Twenty-five!
Twenty-five! Twenty-five!
Twenty-five!
Twenty-five dollars
on Doughboy!
There they go!
Doughboy. Doughboy.
Doughboy.
Dough-- Dough--
Where's Doughboy?
Bilked by my own chicanery.
I beg your pardon.
Watch yourself.
Watch yourself.
Doughboy!
Coming through.
Doughboy!
Doughboy!
Doughboy!
Whitey?
Yes, miss.
Come here.
Uh-oh. That's what you get
for using loaded dice.
It was for a noble cause.
Yes, I know.
It's a man's job.
Well, today is ladies' day.
Here's $120.
You won that shooting craps,
you understand?
I did?
Yes. There'll be more tomorrow.
If you tell Mr. Brooks
where that came from,
I'll fix your other eye.
I bet you would at that.
Miss Alice?
Yes?
I'm pulling for you.
Thanks, Whitey.
* Men say there's nothing
like the flavor *
* Don't wait to do
your friends a favor *
* And for goodness' sake *
* Let's bake a sunshine cake *
460, 470, 480...
I've never seen
Alexander Hamilton look so well.
480, 485, 490, 495.
- What comes after 495?
- Five hundred!
You are right, my friend.
And $10 to celebrate on.
Let me run through that
with my bare fingers.
Here, here. To think that this
vast fortune was accumulated
with just the clever employment
of two little squares of ivory.
A toast to Whitey, whose hand
is quicker than his eye.
To Whitey!
My dear professor,
even though your share in this
was as nebulous as mine,
your story about Doughboy
was so touching, we forgive you.
The first time I ever saw a guy
sucked in by his own gag.
I was a victim of mass hypnosis.
Yes, I'll say you were.
And to you, princess,
for your moral support, a kiss.
And now to
the secretary's office
to deposit the $500 entry fee.
That done, we shall
repair to the village,
where there
shall be merrymaking,
dancing in the streets
and carousing
in the cool of the evening.
Get your coat, honey.
Oh, I don't need it.
I've got your kiss
to keep me warm.
Get a hen and join us.
* We ought to bake us
a sunshine cake *
* It does more good
than a big, thick steak *
* Start with a tablespoon
of trouble *
Doughboy.
* Then add a smile
and let it bubble *
* La-la-la-la-la
la-la-la *
* La-la-la-la-la
la-la-la *
* La-la-la-la-la
la-la-la *
* La-la-la-la-la la-la-la *
* La-la-la-la-la la-la-la *
* Oh *
* Oh *
* Oh *
* The owner told Clarence
the clocker *
* The clocker told
Jockey McGee *
* The jockey, of course,
passed it on to the horse *
* And the horse told me *
* If it's muddy or wet,
take the size of your bet *
* Divide by the size
of the shoes *
* Add the age multiplied
by the length of the stride *
* Providing you win,
you can't lose *
* Oh *
* Oh *
* Oh *
* The owner told Clarence
the clocker *
* The clocker told
Jockey McGee *
* The jockey, of course,
passed it on to the horse *
* And the horse told me *
* Now, it was sunny and warm,
and according to form *
* No nag could get near
Maryjane *
* Well, now,
when the weather is dry *
* She can take off and fly *
* So I bet
and it started to rain *
* Oh *
Oh, shut up, will you?
* The owner told Clarence
the clocker *
* The clocker told
Jockey McGee *
* The jockey, of course
passed it on to the horse *
* And the horse told me *
Hey, No-Blood.
Hello, pal.
Here's a new one.
What?
* Tell the age of the beast
by his teeth and at least *
* His teeth in the paddock
looked great *
* But the toothy old wretch *
* Stopped to sneeze
in the stretch *
* But he won
by a lost upper plate *
* Oh *
* The owner told Clarence
the clocker *
* The clocker told
Jockey McGee *
* The jockey, of course,
passed it on to the horse *
* And the horse told me *
Hey, I got one, wait for me.
Don't rush. No, I got one.
Hello, Shorts. What've you got?
* I had 20 across
with no chance for a loss *
* I even hocked all
of my clothes *
You fool.
* But the horse threw a shoe,
had bellyache too *
* Now I'm down
to my buttons and bows *
* Oh *
* The owner told Clarence
the clocker *
* The clocker told
Jockey McGee *
* The jockey, of course,
passed it on to the horse *
* And the horse told me... *
Dan, what if you lose tomorrow?
Oh, Margaret used
to love that song.
* But, darling, I'd say we've
got a sure thing this time *
* I'd say that we're
on our way to a star *
* And you can take
a tip from me *
* We are, we are *
* And I won't-- *
Where's Bill?
Hey. Hey.
Bill?
Bill! Bill!
Whitey!
Mr. Brooks! Mr. Brooks!
Where's the horse? Where's Bill?
He's not in his stall.
Where is he?
They took him away.
Who?
Mr. Jones, the feed man.
He came here with the sheriff.
The sheriff?
Yes, sir, and took him off.
Why didn't you stop them?
I tried, but they had papers.
They put a rope
around his neck...
A rope?
...and tied him to an automobile
and dragged him off.
Which way did they go?
I chased them for half a mile,
but it didn't do no good.
Dan! Dan, wait! Wait!
Get in that stall!
Get in there, or I'll--
What are you doing
to that horse?
Why, you dirty--!
Hey, what's going on?
What's going on here?
- Come on, let go. Break it up.
- Take it easy, now.
Let go of me!
Take it easy.
That rat was whipping my horse!
He was beating my horse!
Cool off and have a nice sleep.
Don't you worry about me, you
better take care of my horse.
I'll go right out
and cut him some hay.
That's Broadway Bill, he's
in the Imperial Derby tomorrow.
He'll look funny carrying the
judge across the finish line.
He'll carry the judge, the jury,
the clerk of the court
and the bailiff
and win that heat.
What's eating him?
Search me.
Somebody attacks his nag,
and he's blowing his top.
What's the matter,
operator?
I wanna get Pittsburgh.
If Detroit can't
handle any more, okay.
What's the price?
Okay, 2,000 on Sun Up.
Denver, 2,200. Frisco, 1,800.
New Orleans, 3,000.
Dallas, 12.
New York, 9, 000.
What's the total?
What's the total?
Close to 40,000.
Why, we haven't even
started yet.
What's the average?
About 7-to-1.
7-to-1? Listen, Sully,
I'm going to shoot the works
on that horse of yours.
I hope we're not
pulling a boner.
You're sure he's all right?
Sun Up? If it wasn't
for Gallant Lady--
Forget Gallant Lady.
He's a cinch to beat
all the others. Okay
All right, folks,
get your bets down, please.
Don't get shut out.
The big race of the day.
Any bets on Broadway Bill?
Not one. They're laying off
of that plug like poison.
Ten dollars
on Sun Up to win.
Better make him 100-to-1.
Might pick up some sucker money.
Okay.
Make Broadway Bill 100-to-1.
All right, folks,
Broadway Bill is 100-to-1.
A 100-to-1 shot.
Mm-mm.
Broadway Bill, you old rascal.
Where have you been all my life?
Horses again.
You'd think they were men.
Here's where I give
that bookie heart failure.
He's going to buy my fall outfit
and doesn't know it.
Number 28.
That's you again, Mae.
Oh, it would be.
That old moneybags in 28
is going to drive me--
Why, Mae, you ought
to be thrilled.
J.P. Chase is the richest man
in the world.
Yeah.
Confound it, where is everybody?
Nurse? Nurse!
Now, now, now,
what's all the excitement?
I've gotta get out of here.
Uh-uh. You're a big boy now.
Well, I tell you,
I've got to get out of--
Oh, no, now, not another needle.
Not this time, cutie.
Where's that idiot of a doctor?
I'm going crazy in here.
Now, take it easy.
You've got a broken leg.
Broken leg. I've got
a broken back from lying here,
reading this cheap trash.
Relax.
I've got a business
to attend to, young woman.
Relax.
So you didn't make
another million
in the market today.
Oh, is that so?
Well, tell me something, smarty.
How do you pass
your time in this prison?
Oh, I flirt with the angels.
You what?
Bet on horses.
You bet on horses?
That keep your mind occupied?
Brother, it keeps
my mind occupied,
my blood boiling
and my purse empty.
Well, what horse
are you betting on today?
Broadway Bill.
Broadway Bill? Why?
It's 100-to-1.
That's reason enough.
And I'm going
to win one someday.
100-to-1? How much money
are you betting?
Two smackers.
Two what?
Two smackers. Dollars.
Those things you get
nightmares about.
Oh, all right. Well, you can
bet 2 smackers for me.
You?
Well, why not, huh?
Give me something to think
about. One. Two. There.
Boy, is this funny.
What's funny?
You, the richest man in the
world, betting 2 bucks on a nag.
Are you sure you can spare it?
Go on. You get out of here.
Just put that 2 bucks
on that Buffalo Bill
or whatever his name is.
This is going
to rock Wall Street.
Just a minute, young lady.
How will I know we've won?
You'll know. I'll come in
and dance a hula for you.
Well, that's something.
Hey, Steve, you want to hear
something funny?
J.P. Chase just bet 2 whole
dollars on Broadway Bill.
Oh, really?
That's very funny.
Hey, Rosie, get this.
Old J.P. Chase
just bet 2 C's on Broadway Bill.
Broadway Bill?
Broadway Bill? Hey, J.P. Chase
just bet 2 G's on Broadway Bill!
J.P. Chase? What do
you know about that?
Boy, that's good enough for me.
Give me that phone.
Yeah, 20,000 bucks.
Can you imagine that?
J.P. Chase don't
chuck it down like that
unless he knows something.
Must be hot.
He bet 50,000 smackers.
A hundred thousand?
You're kidding.
I just got it from the inside.
Two hundred grand.
On Broadway Bill?
Cross my heart.
He said something like
a quarter of a million.
Wow!
On a 100-to-1 shot too.
Two bucks on Broadway Bill,
on the nose.
Two hundred dollars
to win on Broadway Bill.
Give me $2 to win on
Broadway Bill for me,
$2 for my brother,
and $2 for my wife.
I got a telegram on him.
You oughta get a bet on him
yourself. He's going to win!
Gee, it scared me to death.
I thought it was my mother.
Who? Broadway Bill
hasn't got a chance.
What do I care what a bunch
of yokels are doing?
Let them bet their heads off.
The more they do,
the better I'm going to like it.
Look what they're doing for us.
They sent the price of Sun Up
from 4-to-1 up to 12-to-1.
Boss, we've got one less
horse to beat.
Broadway Bill's going
to be scratched.
What do you mean, "scratched"?
I didn't make this up,
I just heard it.
Well, what happened?
I thought I was bringing you
some good news.
All right, come on,
what happened?
I don't know.
The guy that owns him
got himself in a jam.
He's in jail.
In jail? With Broadway Bill
out of the race,
the odds on Sun Up will go
right back to 4-to-1.
Listen, I've got to get ahold
of that guy. What's his name?
Brooks. Dan Brooks.
Brooks. Dan Brooks,
that's right.
He's got to put Broadway Bill
back in the race.
Now, you fellows don't lay
any bets till I get back.
Company.
Hm?
Hello, Dan.
Hello, Mr. Howard.
What's this little
delegation here?
You fellows didn't bring
a loaf of bread
with a file in it, did you?
I'd ask you in, only the door
seems to be stuck.
What happened?
Along about the third round,
I found out the guy
I was messing with
was wearing a badge,
so here I am.
It isn't bad, though. It keeps
me out of the pool hall.
What's the idea,
scratching that horse of yours?
It's a long, dull story.
Something about a feed bill.
You've got me in a mess.
I've got a lot of dough
bet on that horse of yours.
You have?
Sure.
Did you see him work?
Oh, sure, sure.
You know, I had that horse
go a mile in--
Why don't you tell a guy
you're in a jam?
How much are you in hock for?
Oh, about 200, I guess.
Why, that's chicken feed.
Never keep a secret
like that from a pal.
Here.
What's this?
Go ahead, you want the horse
back in the race, don't you?
Well, yeah.
Well, so do I.
You're not the old man
with the whiskers, are you?
Huh?
Never mind, I'm just grateful.
I'll pay you back soon as I can.
Forget it.
I'll get paid back plenty
when that horse breezes in.
He'll breeze in.
Don't worry about that.
You got a jockey?
Well, I was talking to
this little boy, Eddie Jacobs.
He's an apprentice.
How about Ted Williams?
Ted Williams?
Can you get him?
Can I get him? He'll do anything
for me. We're like that.
With Williams aboard,
it's just bring
a buck and a truck,
and we're home.
Go on down to the captain.
Pay his fine.
Get him out of here.
Put up a bond, whatever
they want. Get him out fast.
Okay, boss.
Now, you're all clear.
I don't know how to thank you.
If you were free, I'd marry you.
Don't worry, I'll make
plenty on that race.
I'll have Williams
come up and see you
right away.
So long, Dan.
Oh, say, Eddie.
Yeah?
Where will we go on
our honeymoon? Hey, guard.
Hey, princess, Whitey.
Teddy Williams, the rider.
Oh, hello.
How do you do, Mr. Williams?
How do you do?
Bill, this is D-day for you.
And here's the boy that's going
to ride you to glory.
Ted Williams, Bill.
He looks sharp.
Oh, he's fit and ready to run.
I blew him out
of the gate this morning.
Three-eighths of a mile
in 35 flat.
Thirty-five?
Crying to run all the way.
Say, how is he in the gate?
I hear he threw his last jock.
Oh, he's okay now. That was
only his first out, kid.
Has he got a hard mouth?
Cast iron.
Don't try to hold him.
He doesn't like to be held.
You just hang on, Mr. Williams.
Old Bill will do the rest.
I guess I'm just going
along for the ride.
And 10 percent of the purse.
You better get over
to the jocks' room.
Be prepared to have
your picture taken, son,
'cause you're going to be
in the winner's circle.
Whitey, looks like
the old man with the whiskers
has really got
his arms around us, huh?
Bill, I've got a little bit
of a shock for you.
Haven't got the truck to take
you to the race track today.
Old Bill, he'll walk just like
the rest of us poor people.
I guess so.
* Take your places,
off to the races *
* We don't give a rap
and we're off to the handicap *
Hey, this joint's full of smoke.
Don't nobody ever inhale?
Doc, will you move over
with that pipe, Hempstead?
You're killing me
with that pipe.
What are you smoking, overhalls?
* The Camptown ladies
sing this song *
* A doo-dah, a doo-dah *
* The Camptown race track
nine miles long *
* Oh, doo-dah day *
* I came down there
with my hat caved in *
* Doo-dah, a doo-dah *
* A doo-dah, doo-dah *
* Go back home
with a pocket full of tin *
* Oh, doo-dah day *
* Gwine to run all night *
* Gwine to run all day *
* I'll bet my money
on the bobtailed nag *
* Somebody bet on the bay *
* The long-tailed filly
and the big, black horse *
* A doo-dah, a doo-dah *
* A doo-dah, a doo-dah,
a doo-dah *
* They both cut across,
oh, doo-dah day *
* The blind horse sticking
in the big mud hole *
* A doo-dah, a doo-dah,
a doo-dah *
* You can't touch the bottom
with a 10-foot pole *
* Oh, doo-dah day *
* Gwine to run all night *
* Going to keep them running *
* Gwine to run all day *
* Bet your money
on the bobtailed nag *
* Somebody bet on the bay *
* Watch old Bill
in the first furlong *
* Doo-dah, doo-dah *
* Bet him to win
and you can't go wrong *
Amen.
* Oh, doo-dah day *
* I'll bet my money
with dancing Dan *
* Doo-dah, doo-dah *
* We'll win enough money
to pay the feed man *
* He's paid *
* No change? *
* All gone *
* Gwine to run all night *
* Gwine to run *
* Gwine to run all day *
* All night, all day *
* I'll bet on
the bobtailed nag *
* Oh, doo-dah day *
* Oh, doo-dah day *
* Oh, doo-dah day *
That mob down there's
gone crazy.
You know what Broadway Bill
is at the track? 6-to-1.
What are you worrying about?
Now, listen, Eddie,
there's a lot of dough
going down on that horse.
Where's it coming from?
A plug like Broadway Bill
doesn't get a play like that
unless something's up. Somebody
knows something, I tell you.
Maybe it's the Greek. Maybe he's
trying to pull a fast one.
You're screwy.
The Greek's in with us.
Then where is it coming from?
Use your brain,
maybe you'd find out.
Did you ever try
to figure it out?
Every bet that's being placed on
Broadway Bill is a 2-buck bet.
Two bucks. Does that sound
like wise money to you?
It starts out 50-to-1,
meat for the sucker.
Every barber, bootblack
and chambermaid
scrambles to get aboard.
The rumor gets started,
the first thing you know,
all the poor boobs are trying
to hock their undershirts.
I've seen it happen
a million times.
It's sucker money,
that's what it is. Sucker money.
Well, I still don't like it.
Maybe you'd be happier
if you knew that
Ted Williams was
riding Broadway Bill.
He is?
Yeah, Williams on Broadway Bill,
and Roberts on Gallant Lady.
Now are you happy?
Sun Up is 20-to-1 in Chicago.
What'd I tell you?
How much will they handle?
How much will you handle?
Fifteen thousand?
Okay.
New York, 20-to-1.
How much can they handle?
How much can you handle?
About 20.
Okay. Chicago, 15 grand.
New York, 20 grand.
You want the race
run honestly, don't you?
Naturally, but I don't like this
implication that my jockey--
Listen, Mr. Whitehall,
we spend a fortune every year
maintaining our
Protective Bureau.
Why? To try to keep
racing honest.
If we can't have it that way,
we'll close the track up.
Yes, I know, but what makes you
think that my boy is involved?
I had Howard trailed,
and I had his men trailed.
I was determined to find out
just what he had up his sleeve,
and I found out, Mr. Whitehall.
Your jockey, Roberts.
Well, that's the works.
How much have we got down?
A hundred and one thousand,
average 12-to-1.
Over a million bucks.
It's the one
we've been waiting for.
Hey, boss, did you hear
what happened?
Joey Roberts has been suspended.
He ain't going to ride
Gallant Lady.
How did you find that out?
I saw it on the bulletin.
They got Bobby North aboard.
Somebody smelled a rat.
This is a mess. Come on.
I knew this was
too good to be true.
The horses are now
in the paddock.
I'm only interested in
one horse. Sun Up, number five.
Beat him and you win this race.
You're up against some
tough customers.
That jockey on Sun Up
might try anything.
Don't let him get away with it.
Gallant Lady must win this race.
Now, there's only one horse
you've got to beat.
It's Gallant Lady.
But you've got to beat her.
I don't care how.
You've ridden lots of races
and won.
If you win this, there's a 5 G
bonus for you, if you do.
Use your head or...
anything else that's necessary,
but you've got to beat
Gallant Lady. Understand?
Listen, son. Bill don't like
to run in behind horses. See?
If you get boxed or pocketed,
take him back and go around.
Don't worry if you lose
a little ground.
He'll make it up for you.
There's one thing, though.
You've got to remember
this one thing.
Are you listening to me?
Yeah, sure.
This is a free-running horse,
see. Don't hold him back.
Give him his head.
Give him his head,
or he'll go crazy.
I got to win this race, son.
I got to.
I don't want to give you
the old house-and-mortgage
or the sick-mother routine,
but my whole future
depends on it.
I can't explain, but that's it.
Good luck to you.
Good luck to you.
Jockeys up.
Now, remember, it's up to you.
If you're smart,
you'll cop this race.
Remember, it's up to you.
Well, Bill, it's up to you, boy.
Must be nervous.
What are you shaking for?
Who's shaking?
Come on, Skeeter, let's go see
a good race. Come on.
The horses are on the track.
Here he comes.
Dan.
Well, it won't be long now.
Dan, Dan, I stand
at the crossroads of destiny.
If we don't win,
it's goodbye, professor.
Why, what's the matter?
I got 50 from Edna this morning,
but I had to promise to marry
her if Broadway Bill loses.
Well, a fellow can always
change his mind.
Not with vinegar-puss.
She made him put it in writing.
Confidentially, Dan,
it can't be done.
I'm slightly married already.
Well, who to?
To another vinegar-puss
in Latonia.
In a moment of carelessness.
He thought he had
a sure thing that time too,
but the horse forgot
what he came for.
Dan. Dan, on my bended knees,
win this race.
All right, professor.
So long, fellow. Good luck.
But your horse just
don't figure.
Any guy that puts
his dough on him
just naturally
believes in fairies.
Come on, Stupe.
Don't pay any attention
to him, Dan.
Good luck.
Thanks, princess.
If Happy's right, I'm on my way
to Higginsville
in the morning, huh?
Don't even think about it.
You'll win.
Thanks, princess.
Hey.
You're not supposed to cry till
after the race. Come on, here.
What's the matter?
Nothing.
Good luck.
Now, now, go watch the race.
Go on.
I wish I knew how this thing
was going to end.
That Broadway Bill
looks all right.
What's Doc Poole worried about?
I don't think he was ever sick.
He looks all right today.
Come right on in, miss.
Did you place a bet
on number six, Broadway Bill?
Sure crazy if you didn't.
Two dollars on Broadway Bill.
Number six.
Thanks.
Well, goodbye, sawbuck.
Might as well go crazy
with the rest of the world.
Oh, come on, come on.
Broadway Bill, number six,
on the schnozzola.
Who'd you bet on, Happy?
Gallant Lady, of course.
Me too.
Smart boy.
Which horse is going to win?
Will it be Gallant Lady,
the temperamental favorite,
Sun Up, the great money horse,
or will it be Broadway Bill?
Sit down.
A colt that's never raced
before and who threw his jockey
the last time out
and was literally laughed
off the track.
The wise ones say that
his owner, Dan Brooks,
has a screw loose somewhere
for entering him.
But we're going to keep
our eyes on Broadway Bill.
For some mysterious reason...
Sit down.
...this unknown horse has been
receiving terrific support.
Almost overnight...
Johnson!
...the odds went down
from 100-to-1 to 6-to-1.
Yes, sir?
Any whiskey in the house?
No, sir.
Get some.
Get some!
The horses are at the gate now
and ready for the bell.
And what excitement.
Sit still on Gallant Lady there.
Keep your eyes open, boys.
Anything's liable
to happen in this race.
Don't you forget
to break fast, Bill.
There they go.
He's in the vanguard.
Broadway Bill takes
the lead by two lengths...
...by a head, and Gotham Kid...
At the clubhouse turn,
Broadway Bill is in the lead
by four lengths. Gallant Lady
is second by one length.
Great Arab is third
by two lengths, and Sun Up...
Quit pulling that horse.
Quit pulling him.
...by one length,
and now dropping back,
as Gallant Lady takes
the lead by one length.
Gotham Kid is second...
Give him his head,
you little thief. Let him go.
Bill.
Make way, or
I'll throw you over the fence.
Nuts to you.
We got a chance now.
Come on. What are you trying
to do? Let go of that bit.
Oh, he's got his tongue
over the bit now.
He can't stop you, Bill.
He can't stop you, Bill.
Let go of that bit.
Go, go, Bill. Go!
It's Gallant Lady and Sun Up...
Head for home, Bill.
Go, boy.
And here comes Broadway Bill,
moving between horses.
Look at this horse go.
Come on, Broadway Bill.
Come on, Broadway Bill!
Friend to the downtrodden!
Come on, Broadway--
Come on!
Bill. Bill. Come on. Eeek!
Come on, Broadway Bill.
Come on, Broadway Bill!
Yes, Broadway Bill! Come on.
Come on. Come on, Broadway Bill.
They're coming into the stretch.
It's Gallant Lady, Sun Up
and Broadway Bill, head
and head, all three together.
Come on, Bill.
Come on! Come on.
Stay back there, will you!
Stay back, you rat.
He's got the bit.
I can't hold him, you nit.
Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill.
It's Gallant Lady
and Broadway Bill.
Sun Up is dropping back.
Come on. Come on, Bill. Come on.
It's Gallant Lady
and Broadway Bill.
It's Broadway Bill
and Gallant Lady.
They're coming down
to the line of finish,
and Broadway Bill wins it!
He did it. He did it.
Oh-ho, he did it!
Yah!
Oh-ho, he did it.
He did it.
Bill.
Bill.
...back off that track,
will you, please.
Now, don't get excited.
And keep back.
Everybody keep back.
Officers, see that everybody
keeps off that track.
You know how dangerous it is.
Horses will be
getting back any minute.
Fellows, can I get through?
Let me through, will you.
Who are you?
This is my horse, fellows.
Officers,
keep those people back.
Keep off the track,
will you, please.
Mr. Brooks.
Back it up, people. All right...
Let me through. Gangway.
How's the boy?
The boy's okay.
Are you a doc?
Yes, sir.
Are you a veterinary?
Yes, sir.
The race was over.
He won and then he dropped.
Too much for him.
Burst his heart.
He was dead, you might say,
when he hit the dirt.
Too bad.
A great horse.
Bill.
Bill.
Will you hold it
for a shot, Mr. Brooks, please?
Officer,
get those men out of there.
These old eyes have seen
some great horses, but--
Tough break, kid.
Come on, get back,
will you, please.
Everybody,
give us a little room here.
Off the track, everybody.
We're all grateful
to Mr. Brooks
for permitting us to lay
Broadway Bill to rest here
at the scene of his victory.
What he did yesterday afternoon
was to teach us all the true
meaning of courage and loyalty.
Broadway Bill only ran one race,
but he ran it well.
For he not only overcame
the speed of his brother horses,
but he had to overcome
the greed in us human beings.
We should all feel humble
and a little ashamed
that a horse
should teach us such a lesson
in honesty.
If we profit by such an example,
then racing will be something
more than a sport,
and Broadway Bill
will never be forgotten.
Mr. Brooks.
Well, I guess
I'll be saying goodbye, Dan.
You'll be going back home
to Higginsville, huh?
Uh-huh.
But not you. You won't.
No.
I'll be on my way, I guess.
Good luck.
Princess, you've been swell.
You've helped me over a--
Thanks, Dan.
Oh, there's Dad.
Dan.
J.L.
Margaret come with you?
No, she didn't.
You see, Margaret
sort of counted on
your coming back
to Higginsville,
now that Broadway Bill...
Yeah.
I guess she figured
this would be the break.
I'm not going back
to Higginsville, J.L.
I-- I don't know.
Nothing matters much anymore.
Just take care
of the princess, huh?
That's my decision,
and it's final.
But, Father,
what's come over you?
You can't sell
the paper-box factory.
We've only been married
for two months.
It isn't fair to Bertie.
Yeah.
Bertie.
And I'm selling the ironworks,
the lampshade plant
and next and last, the bank.
No, no, not the bank.
No, not the bank.
The bank?
Well, what will become of us?
You?
You'll have to go to work.
- It's Dan.
- Princess.
Hey,
it's Mr. Brooks, sir.
"Release the princess
from the dark tower," he says.
Oh.
Well, go on. Go on.
Don't be an idiot
like your sister.
Princess!
Looking for someone?
Not anymore, I'm not.
Look, Broadway Bill II
and the Princess.
Oh, Dan.
Come on, we're off
to Santa Anita.
Get aboard, here we go.
Remember Whitey?
Hi, Whitey. Hi, Skeeter.
Hi there.
Goodbye, Dad.
Goodbye, Johnson.
* All the
millionaire's money *
Oh, I'm so glad you came back.
* Wouldn't build
a better abode *
* Than that someplace *
Hey! Wait for me!
Hyah!
J.L...
Yes, J.L...
Yes, J.L.
I've been waiting a half-hour!
Not now, Mel. I'm busy.
Got to get all his
sons-in-law on the phone.
Main, 674.
Board of directors'
meeting tonight.
This is the 1st, you know.
They all know it's the 1st.
They know there's
a meeting tonight.
The whole town knows it.
Higgins Iron Works?
Higgins, Higgins, Higgins.
That's not a family,
it's a disease!
Arthur Winslow talking.
Oh, yes, Mrs. Peterson. Yes.
I just want to remind you
there's
a board of directors' meeting
at J.L.'s house tonight
at 7 sharp.
Oh, yes, Mrs. Peterson.
Oh, you know me,
"Never Late" Early.
No, Mrs. Peterson, Mr. Brooks
hasn't been in all day.
I don't know.
It's got to be cut lower.
I've told you 100 times, lower!
Madame, I told you 200 times,
there's a limitation.
There will be at least
1,000 people--
All right. So what?
It's my wedding, not my funeral!
Who is it?
Your father's secretary.
What does that old bag want?
Hello?
Well, how do I know
where Dan Brooks is?
Please help me locate him!
You know how strict your father
is about the meetings.
Well, he's not under my bed.
All right, I'll get him
to the meeting
as I got him to all the others.
He's probably out
with that stupid horse.
Come on, Whitey!
You're heading into the stretch.
Let him roll!
Come on! Let him roll!
Let's see if we got a horse.
Kick it out of low, princess.
Come on.
Oh, Bill. Oh, Bill.
Come on, boy.
What'd he make it in?
Huh?
What'd he make it in?
1:42.
Is that good?
Good?
Honey, on a cowpath like this,
for a 3-year-old, that's flying.
Here, Bill.
Come on, boy.
Mr. Brooks, this animal
just ain't human.
He's a flier, isn't he?
What'd he do it in?
1:42, that's all.
Great day in a morning!
With me on him?
He's diseased with speed.
It's a nice way to be sick.
Isn't he a beauty, princess?
Oh, you said it.
Oh, we're proud of you,
Broadway Bill.
Steady, Bill.
How's that ankle?
Feels cool.
He made it.
Well, what's this?
Pathé news
comes to Higginsville?
No, that's Skeeter.
Skeeter?
Miss Alice
taught him to do that.
I have many talents.
Well!
Broadway Bill,
you got a mascot like
a stakes winner. Big stuff, huh?
Is it true horses get
so attached to mascots
they won't run without them?
Yeah, that's true, but I think
a jockey's useful too.
Hey, Whitey,
get those bandages off
and go to walking him, huh?
Dan? When you put racing shoes
on him, can I help you?
Huh? Say, you know more
about this horse than I do.
You been hanging around
the stable quite a bit, huh?
Want to make something of it?
No, but don't you let
Emperor Higgins catch you.
He'll ship you off
to the salt mines.
Emperor Higgins
doesn't even know I'm alive.
I'm just the young brat
in the family.
Well, you will stay single.
Why don't you get married
and give him another son-in-law.
Yes, I know.
Someone to take care
of another Higgins enterprise.
Not little Alice.
Okay, but marriage
is getting popular, you know.
I'm going to post soon.
Don't get shut out.
Been a long time since I've
seen a horse work that good.
Dan, why don't you?
Yeah, I should.
Why don't I what?
Imperial Race Track
opened last week.
Oh, no. No more of that
hobo stuff for Dan Brooks.
He's getting married.
Going to be a solid citizen.
Don't do it, Dan.
Don't marry a Higgins.
Don't marry any Higgins.
You-- You'll just rot here,
like the rest of us.
Princess, you've got
a very attractive little nose,
but keep it out of my business
or I'll twist it off for you.
Oh, you're a fool!
Well, I'm a happy one.
I was just a race track mug
till I met your sister.
Now I'm general manager of
the Higgins Paper Box Company.
Oh, prune juice!
You've been dying to get out
of Higginsville
ever since you came here.
Oh, get her!
Your heart and soul
are in horses,
and you're making paper boxes.
Four hundred thousand
last month. Or was it last year?
You're scared,
that's what you are.
Yeah? Who's scared?
Dan Brooks, horseman.
Dan Brooks,
just another Higgins slave.
Yeah? Well, at my salary,
slavery can come back.
Mr. Brooks, it ain't fair.
It ain't honest.
What ain't honest?
What do you mean?
We been together
for a long time,
and this is the mostest horse
we ever did have!
He's ready, Mr. Brooks.
Just picked up that truck
with my last 25 bucks.
And he's ready.
You know it better than I do.
We owe it to him.
He's ready!
Yes, he's ready
and you're ready,
but I'm not.
Do you hear?
I got smart.
I quit racing.
I'm going to stay smart.
Hey, Bill, go on.
Go on, chase him, chase him.
Chase him!
Go on. That's it. Push him.
No. Now, I'm through.
No! Now, leave me alone.
I'm through with racing.
Don't mess with me.
I'm a big paper-box man.
Yeah, attaboy.
Never mind, now.
Break it up.
Never mind.
No, I don't want to play.
No, I'm a big business man.
Gotta go to a meeting.
You can stop that dancing too.
I told you,
I'm through with horses.
Go on!
Go back to Whitey.
Go with Whitey.
I don't want anything
to do with you. Go on!
Now go back.
Give him some more.
Yeah, that's it.
You back again?
What do you want with me?
What do you want with me?
I'm through!
I'm through with horses.
Going to make the paper boxes.
Yeah! Yeah!
Now go give him some more.
Why, I'll kick you
in your big...
Good evening, Miss Margaret.
Good evening. What is your name?
Huh?
Is Mr. Brooks ready yet?
Not quite, uh....
The name is Clarence White.
Oh.
* Won't say that rivers flow *
* Or day turns to night *
* But, darling *
* I'd say we've got
A sure thing *
* All right *
* Won't say it's winter *
* When snow falls from above *
* But, darling *
* It's a sure thing we're *
* In love *
Maggie!
Darling!
Come here.
Mm.
We'll never get to the meeting
this way. Come on, slowpoke.
Wait a minute.
Not so fast, me proud beauty.
What's your hurry?
What's the rush?
Anybody ever tell you
you're the most beautiful girl
in the world?
Just the world?
I'll include all
the available planets,
the stratosphere,
the outer space,
New York, New Haven and
Hartford, leaving on track five.
That's better.
Here.
Come on.
What's the hurry?
Come on, darling.
I may not be
the most beautiful,
but I'm the happiest girl
in the world.
The invitations
were mailed today,
and you should see my dress.
A stunner?
Only three weeks more, darling.
The wedding will be
the biggest thing
since Texas joined the Union.
That was a big day.
Good heavens!
Even your dinner jacket
smells horsy!
What?
What do you use, Equine No. 5?
You know he worked
a mile in 1:42 today?
Who?
Broadway Bill!
And with Whitey on him too.
Just sitting there,
looking and cooking.
Why don't you come out
the next time he works.
I'll bet if you knew him,
you'd love him.
Oh, I like horses, all right.
Especially when they're racing.
Didn't I meet you at the track?
That's what you did.
Remember, when I leaned over and
asked you if you had a winner?
Oh, and I had a winner too.
You.
Ready?
Sure, I'm ready. Flashy.
What kind of socks
are you wearing this time?
What difference does it make?
Dan, you've got to change them.
Quickly, where are
the black ones?
They'll be under the table
all night anyhow.
If you got to know
Broadway Bill personally,
I'll bet you'd
be crazy about him.
Did I ever tell you
about his mother?
She was blind, you know?
Blind?
Yeah, stone-blind.
Beautifully bred mare, though.
Put those on, and hurry.
She had quite a problem
when the little colt arrived.
Naturally, she wanted to be
near him, but she couldn't,
because she couldn't find him.
It was pitiful to watch her.
She'd start in a little circle,
and the circle
would get larger and larger.
She'd cover every foot
of that field,
but that little rascal,
he'd just stay
a step ahead of her
all the time.
She couldn't reach him,
and at night,
boy, at night,
what a ruckus she'd raise!
I'd have to get up,
find Broadway Bill,
take him in to her.
But I licked it.
You know what I did?
I got a bell.
An ordinary dinner bell.
I tied it around his neck.
Solved her problem.
She'd hear the bell,
find the colt.
Clever.
Put the other one on.
After a while,
an amazing thing happened.
You won't believe this,
but this is absolutely true.
That little colt,
he realized that
something was wrong
with his mother.
And he wouldn't leave her side.
Gee, I can remember we used to
turn the colts
and the mares out.
They'd head lickety-split
for the field, just kicking,
playing, buckjumping,
but not Broadway Bill. No, sir.
He'd stay with her,
and he'd lead her every step
of the way, over rocks,
around the ditches and the ruts
until he got her safely
into the pasture.
You'd just have to love a little
egg like that, wouldn't you?
I don't blame you.
That's him.
Out in the barn,
that's Broadway Bill!
Well, then a lot
of bad breaks came along.
Couldn't win a race, horses
got sick, lost a few of them,
and up to my ears in debts.
Then you came along,
asked me if I had a winner.
So in three days, I sold the
whole kit and caboodle of them.
Paid off my debts and proposed
to you every hour on the hour.
Promised to quit racing
and followed you here
to Higginsville,
but I couldn't come
without Broadway Bill.
I figured maybe
after our kids grew up,
he'd make a nice little horse
for them to hack around on.
Whitey--
Couldn't leave old Whitey,
not after all we'd been through
together, working and starving.
So Broadway Bill's a 3-year-old
now, and he's a runner!
Maybe a great runner, Maggie.
Oh, it's a wonderful story,
darling.
But, as you say,
you're through with racing.
And if you think that
old mare's got a problem,
I've gotta get you
to that meeting on time
or be disowned.
Come on!
Maggie, wait, wait.
Let's duck the meeting tonight.
Duck the meeting?
Yeah. Let's you and I
go somewhere and just sit under
the moon together and talk.
I want to talk
about a few things.
Father would throw a royal fit.
You know we've got to go.
Why? What difference
does it make?
He does all the talking anyhow.
We just sit there
with our heads on hinges.
"Yes, J.L. Of course, J.L.
Oh, you're so right, J.L."
I'd like to go to one
of those meetings
with a stiff neck sometime.
Throw the whole
thing out of tempo.
Oh, Dan, stop.
Father has great plans for you.
That's why the others
are all so jealous.
Yeah, "the others."
Look, let's go over and stand
in front of the house
and throw rocks at the meeting.
What do you say?
Dan, it's almost 7.
Well, do you want
to throw rocks?
No. And neither would you
if you had any sense.
Remember, you'll be calling
those meetings someday.
Now, come on!
We can't afford to be
late again. You know Father.
Come on!
"Yes, J.L. Yes, J.L."
Good evening, Mrs. Early.
Good evening, Johnson.
Good evening, Johnson.
Mr. Early.
J.L.'s in the study.
Thank you, Johnson.
Well, right on the dot.
"Never Late" Early,
they call me.
No more stale jokes.
And don't be so scared of him.
Who's scared?
Good evening, J.L.
Evening.
Father.
Well, right on the dot.
"Never Late" Early,
they call me.
Henry.
Hi.
Evening, Father.
Don't scold me.
I'm on time.
Good evening, Mrs. Winslow.
Good evening.
Mr. Winslow.
Good evening, Johnson.
J.L.'s in the study.
Oh, thank you, Johnson.
You may not be
the smartest, Arthur,
but you're the best-looking.
Thank you!
Good evening, Father.
Evening.
J.L. Evening.
Good evening, Johnson.
Good evening, Miss Margaret.
J.L. is in the study.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Dan.
Shh.
Hello, Dan, I see you made it.
Oh, she went to the whip
on me. Hi.
Father.
J.L.
We're late.
Well, that's my fault.
There was sort of a hassle
down at the box factory.
You see, we had this big box...
We'll get started.
We, um...
How do I get out of this box?
Leave Higginsville.
Still in there punching,
aren't you?
What's on the agenda
for this evening?
Oh, soup, cold lamb
and the financial report.
Sounds exciting.
Say...
would there be such a thing as
a slug of whiskey
around the house?
In this house?
Isn't anything ever changed
around this mausoleum?
Yeah, bedspreads and underwear.
The daily double.
Ooh!
Any of you got ulcers yet?
Well, here's hoping.
The purpose of this meeting
is to elect him
permanent member of this board.
Now that he's to become
a permanent member
of this family.
But first, some good news.
Acme Lumber Company.
Bought it today
at our own figure.
Very good, J.L.
Very good, J.L.
Fine, fine, J.L.
Fine. Fine. Fine.
10:05 this morning, it became
the Higgins Lumber Company.
Approved?
Why, of course, J.L. Splendid!
Seems like a wise move, J.L.
You approve?
Huh?
Oh, naturally, J.L.
Top-hole, J.L.
Of course, J.L.
Present has no active head.
Hm.
It shall remain so.
Courage, men.
It'll remain so until empty
chair is suitably occupied.
If you mean me, Dad,
you're wasting your time.
What's that?
You might as well forget it.
The man I marry won't care
for the lumber business.
Don't be impudent, Alice.
I'm sorry.
That's okay, J.L.
You're still batting...
750.
Maybe only 500.
Dinner.
Meeting's opened.
Higgins Enterprise
is doing fine,
except
the Higgins Paper Box Company.
Sales, way below normal.
Higgins Special,
nationally known,
off 22 percent.
Mr. Brooks, any explanation?
Maybe paper bags
are catching on.
Could be.
Maybe it's off gallivanting
with a ridiculous horse.
Father!
Let's get back to
the paper boxes, huh?
Yes, indeed, let's.
You came to this town
over a year ago.
Penniless,
questionable background.
Racetrack profession, I believe.
"Reformed gypsy," you said.
You and Margaret wanted
to get married.
I was not impressed.
I got mine the hard way.
Ulcers.
But we decided upon
a probationary period.
I put you at the head
of the Higgins
Paper Box Company,
the most successful
of the Higgins Enterprises.
You accepted, with gratitude.
You were the envy
of Mr. Winslow and Mr. Early.
Oh, no, J.L.
No, J.L., no.
It isn't paper bags,
my reformed gypsy friend,
it's neglect.
Shameful neglect.
Now, Margaret's divorce, final.
Wedding, set.
Expensive.
Four daughters, no sons.
Have to accept
what they bring in.
But I don't want to go through
what I had to go through
with the last fellow
who sat in that chair.
A hockey player, I believe.
Thank you, Father.
Beginning tomorrow,
exclusively paper boxes.
Beginning tomorrow,
get rid of that horse.
See that it's done.
Now, back to Acme
Lumber Company.
I've had their statement gone
over thoroughly.
I find a book value
of 17 dollars a share.
This allows for depreciation
in current year's taxes.
Figures follow.
Cash on hand in banks: $13,764--
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute, J.L. Wait here.
You may be interested
to hear that I have
no intention of disposing
of that horse.
Matter of fact, I'm leaving
Higginsville in the morning.
Hooray! Hooray!
Alice!
Everything you said is true.
I-I have neglected the business.
It isn't that I don't appreciate
what you've done for me.
It's just that...
I'm not built for it,
that's all.
You take handsome here.
He was meant to spend
his life in an ironworks.
And "Never Late" Early.
He even looks like a lampshade.
But me I-- Boy, I have nothing
in common with paper boxes.
Yes, I've...
I took it for a year,
on probation.
Isn't that beautiful, probation?
Like a criminal.
What was my crime?
I fell in love
with your daughter,
so I get a year
in a paper-box factory,
where, since 1889,
the Higgins Enterprises
have made a paper box
for 4 cents and sold it for 5.
If only once we could have
made it for 5 and sold it for 4.
That would've been
a welcome switch.
I know I sound crazy to you.
Maybe I am.
Maybe you strike me
the same way.
It's just that you're
only interested in one thing:
Accumulating wealth and gobbling
up the little fellow,
like this morning when you
snatched the Acme Lumber Company
from some poor little Joe
who spent his lifetime
building it up.
I hope it made you happy.
Young man! Don't--
Look at you!
Look at you! You haven't
had a vacation in over 40 years.
You're just rotting away here
in this little kingdom of yours!
Well, that's not my idea
of a way to live,
and it isn't Margaret's either.
And another thing, I wouldn't
get rid of that racehorse
for you or anybody else
in the world!
You wait!
Someday you're going to
take off your hat
to Broadway Bill.
That's true.
I was broke when I came here,
and I'm going to leave
the same way.
I'm turning back every dime
of the Higgins money.
Margaret and I'll make good
in our own way.
We'll get married in some little
church like decent people.
If it's all the same to you, you
can accept my two weeks' notice
two weeks ahead of time.
Margaret, I'll wait for you
in the car.
Dan!
Let's get on
with the meeting, Father.
Darling, you come back and
sit down and behave yourself.
Margaret, this is what I wanted
to talk to you about tonight.
Come on. Let's get out
of this prison, honey.
It's fun to be free.
You'll love it!
And Broadway Bill just isn't
any horse. He's a stakes winner.
He's got speed and stamina,
and he'll stay.
A man waits a lifetime
for such a horse, Margaret.
All right, all right.
But the invitations are out,
2,000 of them.
Do you want to ruin it all?
Let's get married
right away, tonight.
If I sit down
in this chair again,
I'm going to wind up
just like those two guys.
A Christmas tiger.
"Yes, J.L. Yes, J.L."
I can't handle it.
I'll be at the apartment,
packing.
Go with him, Margaret.
Go with him!
Oh, shut up!
Well, Emperor Higgins,
I hope you had fun.
Meeting is adjourned.
* All a millionaire's money *
* Couldn't build
a better abode *
* Than that someplace *
* On Anywhere Road *
You might have
something there at that.
Oh, yes, boss.
Come on, perk up.
* My new address
will be someplace *
* On Anywhere Road *
* Mmm-hm-mm-hmm *
* It's the prettiest someplace *
* On Anywhere Road *
* Anywhere Road *
* Got the fanciest rooftop
made of sky *
* Independently lucky am I *
* Don't need a nickel *
* I feel at home
when I'm someplace *
* On Anywhere Road *
* Heading for nowhere * Yes!
* Living up to
the vagabond code *
* And all a millionaire's
money *
* Couldn't build
a better abode *
* Than my someplace *
* On Anywhere Road *
Programs, programs.
What does the star mean
in front of the horse's name?
I don't know, kid.
I think the trainer's
got a boy in the service,
probably. I don't know.
Park him and go over
to see the racing secretary.
Yes, sir.
Hey, buddy, what's going on?
They're unloading Gallant Lady!
Gallant Lady!
Oh, this I gotta see!
Hey, Bill, here's that great
champion you're going to trim.
Hey, Bradshaw!
Bradshaw, come here!
Yes,
Mr. Whitehall.
Get all these people
out of the way.
And where
do you think you're going?
Don't race your motor, Mike.
Never mind, Mike.
Pat's the name. Get back.
Pat, let me see this horse.
Now,
look here, you blighters.
I'm not going to bring
Gallant Lady out
before a rabble like this.
She's not used to it.
She's too nervous.
Get off the platform, will you?
You hear what the man said?
Get back and take it easy,
will you?
Officer, discharge your duty!
Aw, shut up, you foreigner.
All clear, Mr. Whitehall.
Oh, all clear, eh?
Good. All right,
get her out of here.
Bring that pony out first.
All right, bring her out.
Keep her head down.
Watch her feet
and look at her hips.
Boy, that's a good-looking
filly, isn't she?
Certainly is.
Don't crowd her.
Well, hello.
Win, Place and Show, huh?
How are you, Mr. Howard?
Dan Brooks, you remember me?
Yeah, sure.
That your outfit?
That's the transportation
department
of the Dan Brooks Stable.
What are you hauling today?
The winner
of the Imperial Derby.
So? Want a tip?
Sure. What?
Enter the truck instead.
Who's getting your action?
I only bet on sure things.
Gallant Lady.
Oh, isn't that too bad?
Gallant Lady's going
to be seeing a lot
of that, come derby day.
I thought we were
betting on Sun Up.
Why don't you broadcast it.
There you are.
Okay. All made out, huh?
"Broadway Bill by
Burning Ginger, out of Mary D."
Well, at least
he's bred for speed.
Oh, he can scamper.
Now, Dan, you'll have to supply
three photos of his "night eyes"
for the Protective Bureau.
You mean the little wart
inside the hock?
Yes, it's a new gag.
That's different on all horses,
like fingerprints on a human.
Very tricky.
Here's your condition book.
Yes, sir.
Here are your owners' badges.
Say, what's this
about your wanting
to enter him
in the Imperial Derby?
Why, sure! We're going to
come back in style, boy!
Don't be a sucker, Dan.
You don't think he'd beat
the champ, Gallant Lady, do you?
What do you mean?
He'll pull a spring wagon
and tie that old mare in a knot.
What's the entry fee?
I gotta get out of here.
Okay, all right, you win.
It looks like you wrapped
all your horse sense
in one of those paper boxes.
Make out the stake blank.
It's $500.
Five hundred dollars?
Mm-hm.
Well, it's a $25,000 race.
I guess 500 is a fair fee.
Wouldn't you think, Mr. White?
Peanuts.
You want to make out
a check right now, Dan?
Now? Right...? Right now?
Well, you don't have to.
You can do it the day
before the race.
Two weeks off, if you like.
Ha-ha. I like.
I thought you would.
But you'll have to nominate him
before 6 tonight.
This is the last day.
I've got the nominating fee
right here.
Yes, sir, $25, huh?
Fifty dollars now, Dan.
Fifty?
Mm-hm. Things have gone up
in the last couple of years.
Say, Collins, how come
4 extra pounds on my horse?
What do you wanna do,
break him down?
He won his last two,
didn't he?
You wanna win them all?
And another thing. I'm not
going to enter another horse
until you loosen up that track,
Mr. Pencil-Pusher.
If you didn't have
blind staggers,
you could look out and see them
harrowing the track right now.
And don't call me
"Pencil-Pusher."
I'll go to Santa Anita,
where I'll get a break.
You can go to...
Oh, nothing but beefs.
Now, where are we, Dan?
I'm up to 43.
Oh...
Mad money.
Forty-four.
I have 44. Forty-four,
44, 44, we need 50.
Oh, ho, Whitey, let me hear
from you. I have 44, need 50.
Sure would surprise me.
You take a look in the vault.
Well, the ootbay
national ankbay.
Let's see what we have here.
Bless my soul, who would have
thought that was in there?
Came a little hard, didn't it?
Yes, sir.
A lonely, lovely little finif.
Thank you, brother White.
We have 49, need 50. Have 49,
need 50. We have 49, need 50.
Oh, ho, we have 49,
need 50. Have 49...
Fifty!
Thank you, sir.
You are a gentleman. If you're
ever down in Bourbon County,
the smokehouse's full
of hog meat,
and we got juleps 9 feet tall.
I guess we're all nuts!
But if this ever gets around,
I'll run you right
off this track.
Oh, nix cracken, Jimmy Bracken,
I'm as silent as the tomb.
There you are.
Thank you.
Now we'll have to have a stall.
Uh-oh. Stall. Now you got me.
Not a stall left on the track.
What do you want me to do,
tie up under a tree?
I was saving one
for you gypsies, but,
well, that Gallant Lady outfit
put the bee on me
for the whole shebang.
You know Gallant Lady,
name horse.
Oh, yeah, pulls in
the public, I guess.
Yes, she does.
Oh, wait a minute, now.
I have got one barn.
Old Pop Jones',
over here on Maple Street.
Not in very good shape, though.
Oh, we don't care.
Broadway Bill's no snob.
We'll take it.
Good.
Thank you, Mr. Pencil-Pusher.
Good luck, Dan,
and don't forget those photos.
Oh, no, we'll have them.
Bye, Whitey.
Say, Collins, what are you
doing, plowing up the track?
What is this, a corn field?
Gallant Lady won't run
on a soft track.
Now, I told you that.
So help me,
I'll scratch her
right out of the derby.
Will you take it easy,
Mr. Whitehall?
That track will be
lightning-fast come derby day.
I am doing this track a favor
by entering Gallant Lady,
and I want a fair shake,
and don't you forget it,
you pencil-pusher!
Hey, he needs a saliva test,
huh?
Gallant Lady.
Gallant Lady.
Oh, Gallant Lady. Oh, my dear.
Nice and comfortable inside.
Pretty well broke in, I guess.
Well, I guess
it's all right, Pop.
That'll be $25 dollars
a week, in advance.
In advance of what?
Well, before you move in.
Oh, we haven't moved in yet.
A few things I want to check.
Had some pretty fine
horses stay here.
Did they survive?
Eh?
Well, we won't quibble.
Now, who's the feed man?
Eh?
The feed man.
Who's the feed man?
Oh, the feed man.
Yeah.
Right here.
You?
Well, now, that's a break,
Whitey.
Pop's the feed man too.
Hallelujah!
Not too loud,
you'll wake up the termites.
Pop, there's a few things
we're going to need.
We'll need some barley,
some oats,
carrots, of course,
and a little salt,
about 10 pounds of salt.
Is this for cash?
Eh?
Eh?
Oh, you too?
Oh, since I was
a little shaver, yeah.
Just this ear,
though. Okay here.
I say, is this for cash?
Cash? Now,
what's the matter with you?
Don't you trust me?
Yeah, but I don't know you.
Well, I don't know you.
But it's my barn.
But it's my horse.
And another thing,
we'll need some cots.
Eh?
Some cots. C-O-T-S.
You know, to sleep on.
You're going to sleep in here?
Certainly!
You don't think...?
Pop, that's the horse
that's going
to win the Imperial Derby.
I couldn't let him sleep
in here all by himself.
Now, come on, Pop, get on
the ball. Wake up! Come alive!
We're letting you in
on a sure thing,
chance to pick up a bankroll.
This horse is a sleeper.
He's a what?
He's a sleeper! A sleeper!
You want a cot
for the horse too?
Say, he's a riot, isn't he?
Pop, you're a card.
You ought to be in vaudeville.
You're a riot! Look, now.
Come on, get on the ball.
We gotta get some food
in here for this horse.
Keep him on edge.
Keep him fit.
Get the stuff in here, now.
It's feeding time.
Got him fit and get him ready.
Come on, move, move!
Whitey?
Yes, sir, Mr. Brooks.
Remind me to get
down to the bank
in the morning
and make that deposit.
Oh, yes, sir. It ain't safe
to be carrying
that money around
in your pocket.
No, it wearies a body.
Mr. Brooks, you certainly
got some funny ideas.
Why?
When I go out to borrow money,
I generally wear my old clothes,
my old shoes and things.
It's plain to see
you don't appreciate
the secret of the race track,
then, Whitey.
Gotta put on a front.
If you look hungry and
down-at-the-mouth, you're dead.
Now, if these threads of mine
impress Professor Pettigrew
sufficiently,
our enforced diet is over.
Who's Professor Pettigrew?
Who's Professor Pettigrew?
Why, he's a gentleman,
a profound scholar
and a fellow you can bite
for a fast buck if he's got it.
I hope he's got it.
Oh, he's got it, all right.
The grapevine tells me that
the professor is literally
infested with the green stuff.
As a matter of fact,
he's worked out a system,
and he's had
15 straight winners.
Professor Pettigrew!
Yes, angel?
Take your feet off
my needlepoint chair!
Yes, chicken.
Happy, at long last, eureka!
For 15 years, ever since I left
the faculty of Yale University,
in utter boredom, I have been
working on the Pettigrew system
for beating the mutuels.
And now, voilà !
You know, he's beginning
to believe
that Yale baloney himself.
I've had my ups and downs,
but today
I can finally say that
my system is infallible.
It certainly is.
Fifteen straight losers.
How infallible can you get?
Is that so?
There, Einstein.
Gin.
By an investment
of a paltry $50,
I can show a profit of
a $165,000 within two weeks!
I read my fairy tales at night.
But it'll cease to be
a fairy tale when I get the 50.
Where you going to get it,
from vinegar-puss?
Professor Pettigrew!
Yes, my love.
I'll get the 50
from the finest gentleman
that ever raced a horse:
Dan Brooks, a very good
friend of mine.
Anybody who had 50 bucks
wouldn't be a friend of yours.
Is that so?
Well, Dan Brooks
is a captain of industry,
owns a paper mill,
and he's never
turned me down yet.
And what's more, we're going
to be his guests at lunch today.
He's going to buy us lunch?
At the Greenview Club, laddie,
where even the busboys have
to be bank presidents.
How do we get inside that place?
Disguised as salads?
You overlook the power
of culture, my friend.
I merely phoned them and said,
"Professor Pettigrew of Yale
is lunching with Mr. Brooks,
"the noted tycoon.
Prepare a table, please."
Oh, by the way,
have you a dime for carfare?
I never carry
any large denominations.
I see. Very well, we'll walk.
Now, the good professor's
been kind enough to invite me
to lunch with him
at the exclusive Greenview Club,
where the blue blood
flows like water
and the carpets are thicker
than porterhouse steaks.
Wish me luck, huh?
Ahh.
And if you can't get the money,
bring me back a piece
of that thick carpet.
Medium brown.
Here we are, Mr. Brooks.
Oh, Dan! Dan, my boy.
Well, this is a pleasure.
Professor.
Capital.
Gentlemen!
Oh, hello, hello.
How are you? Glad to see you.
Please lower your voices.
Rule of the club.
I'm sorry.
Sit down, professor.
I took the liberty of bringing
my business associate,
Oscar McGuire.
Oscar, this is Dan Brooks.
How are you, sir?
Stop me if I'm breathing
too loud.
Yeah, keep it soft,
or we'll get the heave-ho.
This, gentlemen,
this is an occasion.
After the separation
of many years,
Damon and Pythias are reunited.
Isn't this great?
Pythias.
Damon, old pal.
Waiter, a bottle of champagne
for auld lang syne.
Yes, and bring a thick steak
for auld Pythias too.
Yes, sir.
Bring the entire menu.
Fill up the table.
Bring everything.
Bring everything on.
And for you?
Anything.
I just came in to get warm.
Say, your friend's
pretty amusing, isn't he?
He comes up with some
polite stuff. Say, professor,
I hear you're
in the upper brackets.
Comme ci, comme ça.
Parlez Français, huh?
After all, a man's wealth
is the friendship
of those he admires.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well-put too. But I've heard
some things about you.
I hear you've got a system,
and it's rolling.
They tell me you're
knocking the ponies dead.
They say that you won
more money the other day
than you could carry away
from the race track.
True or false?
Eh, how about you?
Well, I can't complain.
My horse is eating.
I, uh... Oh!
Shh.
Modesty becomes you, Dan.
You great big industrialist.
Shh.
Wait a minute. We'll get
thrown out of here.
You know, I always said,
"Dan Brooks.
There's one man that will
really come through." Eh?
Yeah, you know what I've always
said about you, professor,
"You're a winner in my book.
A true-blue friend."
How long does this go on?
We're old pals, the social--
The bubbly has arrived.
Well, well.
I'm delighted
for this opportunity
to repay your past favors,
Dan, my boy.
Well, thank you, professor.
You're very sweet.
I have a little
mathematical certainty.
Yes?
I have a little
mathematical certainty
that should net us
precisely $160,000.
Oh, yeah?
I wouldn't let anyone
in on it but you.
Say, it sounds good.
A toast.
A toast.
A toast to the birth
of a new syndicate.
Pettigrew and Brooks.
Pettigrew supplies the brains.
Brooks supplies the money.
With a start of a mere $50
and the use of a little
applied calculus,
I have a system
of parlays worked out--
Uh, professor. Do these flapping
old ears of mine deceive me,
or did you come here to put
the bite on me for 50 bucks?
Oh, nothing as vulgar as that.
This is an investment
in the progress
of science, my boy.
Well, don't look now, professor,
but we're back in the Dark Ages.
You mean?
I came here to put the bite
on you for a grand.
You mean to tell me
you're broke?
Down to the bricks.
I beg your pardon?
And, uh, I came here...
And you came here--
I guess so.
Well, that's the funniest...
It's sensational.
What's so funny about that?
He's trying to bite me.
I'm trying to bite him.
Nobody's got a quarter.
Waiter, more champagne!
Gentlemen, please, please.
You're disturbing our patrons.
I'm a little disturbed myself.
Gentlemen.
Professor.
Yes?
Come in the office.
What is the exact extent
of your financial embarrassment?
The lower depths.
Not even enough
to pay for this meal?
Not one bubble of this
very delightful champagne.
Well, maybe we can get something
back on the bottle, huh?
Hey, how's your wallet?
I don't know.
I ate it yesterday.
Well, gentlemen.
We appear to be in something
of a situation.
To the situation.
We might as well get
to like one another.
We're going to be together
for at least 30 days.
All right, gentlemen?
Sure. Cut up another 30 days.
I, um...
I have been mulling
the problem over in my mind.
Yes?
I have come to a simple
but adequate conclusion.
I know, we all drop dead.
Oh, not that.
Quiet, quiet, quiet.
Gentlemen, just gaze about you.
Yes?
All we have to do
is to shock the sensibilities
of this prize collection
of stuffed shirts,
and we will be promptly ejected.
You know, I think
he's got something.
What'll we do?
Jump up and down
and slug each other
with tea bags?
No, no, no, gentlemen.
We are in our cups.
Or as we used to say at Yale,
we are "stinko."
You mean we are loaded?
We are fractured.
Well, here we go.
* We are poor little lambs
who have lost our way *
Take the tenor.
* Baa, baa, baa *
* We are little black sheep
who have gone astray *
Please.
* Baa, baa, baa *
Gentlemen, I beg of you.
* Baa, baa, baa, baa, baa, baa *
* Gentlemen songsters
off on a spree *
* Doomed from here To eternity *
Any decent restaurant
would have had us
in the gutter by now.
It's crawling with Yale men.
Class of '82.
This is outrageous! How can
anyone eat in this bedlam?
Why, I understood this
to be a dignified,
quiet salle à manger,
not a Hofbrauhaus.
We are leaving.
Out of the way.
Is anything wrong?
Anything wrong?!
You expect us to eat
in this collegiate cacophony?
You'll have a sharp note
from ASCAP, sir.
Yes, but you were the ones
who begun this.
Us?
We're Harvard men.
* ...as we *
* Baa, baa, baa *
Here we are.
Uh-uh.
Give.
You drive a sharp bargain,
my friend.
Yes, sir.
That's the new light type.
You'll like that.
Yeah. Well, it ain't exactly
the size I wanted.
What do you want for
a hamburger? A telephone pole?
Oh, I ain't kicking,
but I should ought
to have a hat or...
Hey.
I'll give you a Coke
for the hat.
That's ridiculous.
We were just served champagne
for a song.
Sure.
Pie for the tie.
Wouldn't have anything
to hang myself with.
What's the matter
with you fellows?
I thought you was hungry.
You should ought to have
some dessert or something.
Wait. Look these over.
We may be in for dinner tonight.
Spats. You should ought
to see me in spats.
I'd be a sight for sore eyes
in spats.
Wait till this peasant
finds out about shoes.
Oh, I've got shoes.
Congratulations.
I'll give you another hamburger
for the spats.
No, no, he's dedicating a
drive-in market this afternoon.
Maybe tonight. We'll see.
Okay.
Dinner tonight for the hat,
spats and tie. Is that a deal?
Muff off.
Huh?
We've got a little business
to talk over. Do you mind?
Oh-oh, sure, sure, sure.
Say, if you've got anything
my wife can use...
Bring her in,
and we'll cut her up.
Smart guy, huh?
Well, little man, what now?
Raising $500 may prove
to be a slight hazard.
Professor, you've been
a disappointment.
Don't worry, my friend.
From now on, my time and wisdom
will be devoted entirely
to your welfare.
I feel sorry for you.
Oh, is that so?
Well, I have a brilliant idea
already. My ace in the hole.
Edna.
Edna?
A 50-to-1 shot. You'd have
to marry her first.
Who would Edna be?
That's the vinegar-puss landlady
at the boarding house.
Well, why would she expect him
to marry her?
Confidentially,
Dan, I encouraged it.
An economic necessity, you know.
I see.
That'll give you an idea
of what I've been driven to.
"Driven to," my foot.
He'd rather make phony love
to that vinegar-puss
than go to work.
Trouble is,
he's got a vinegar-puss
in every race track town
in the country.
It's kept me in food and lodging
for years. And you too.
Just--
Now, wait a minute.
This vinegar-puss, uh--
Whatever you call her.
Do you think she might fall
for a Ford truck?
That's what I would call
a perfect mating.
What's the idea, Dan?
Well, this Ford truck,
I don't think
any used-car dealer
would have anything
to do with it.
Maybe I could get 50 bucks
for it from her.
What's good 50
when you need 500?
There's a maiden race tomorrow
for $1,000.
We drop Broadway Bill in there.
We're home free.
But I need the 50 slugs
for the jockey and for expenses.
An inspiration, Dan.
I'll make love as
I never made love before.
Vinegar-puss will own
a Ford truck
if I have to make
the supreme sacrifice.
Bravo. Let us pray such
a necessity never arises.
A 100-to-1 shot.
Hey, Happy. Who do you like
in the first race?
Drop dead.
Thanks.
Oh...
Oh... Oh...
Is this it?
Yes, my dear.
Sturdy and dependable.
What's it supposed to be?
Come, my beloved.
Broadway Bill is in
the third race. Allow me.
Oh, darling. I didn't sleep
a wink last night
thinking about you.
You make love so beautifully.
Yes, I know.
But that's only the beginning,
angel, only the beginning.
What's the matter? They've been
there for ten minutes.
They're having trouble
with Broadway Bill.
Looks like we need
some help with that five horse.
Somebody get ahold of him.
But, sugar,
we've still got time.
Just 10 dollars.
No.
But 5 dollars.
No.
Well, 2 dollars.
No.
But, sugar, I saw him
work out this morning.
I'm not going to bet.
I guess she's not going
to bet, professor.
I guess not, and I hope she gets
a worm in her Adam's apple.
Oh, sugar.
Where did
that thing come from?
Get behind him and load him.
Okay, Ray.
Get him up closer.
Now, sit still on him, rider.
Whoa!
Just sit still.
I don't think he's quite
ready yet, Mr. Brooks.
Oh, he's ready.
Sure, he's ready.
It's just that gate's new
to him, and all those horses.
Once they ring that bell,
he'll be so far out in front
he'll feel at home again.
- You've got a bad horse here.
- Whoa.
Number five.
He's half-horse and half-nuts.
Put him on the school list
before he starts again.
Kind of homesick, huh, pal?
But you gotta take on
a little nourishment, you know.
Come on, Bill, here.
It's a carrot, Bill.
Come on, Bill.
Here. Go on.
When he turns down carrots,
he's lost interest
in everything.
Yeah, I don't think
he's going to perk up either
until that rooster comes.
Think she's going to send him?
I don't know. She hasn't even
answered my letter.
Skeeter.
Skeeter.
Skeeter.
Skeeter.
Oh, princess,
am I glad to see you.
Dan, you're smothering Skeeter.
Oh, Skeeter, a thousand pardons.
Hey, Bill.
Look who's here.
It's your old buddy-buddy.
Here. Here, look here.
Look here.
Look here.
Ain't that beautiful?
Hello, Bill.
Hello, Whitey.
Good to see you.
He's a new horse already.
Look at him. I was going to
call a psychiatrist.
Whitey, walk him
a bit, will you?
Why, sure.
Come on, boy.
Go strut your stuff.
There he goes again.
He wants to go for a walk too.
Get out of here. Princess,
you're a lifesaver, really.
Isn't that a riot?
Now, who'd think
those two would
go for each other?
That's the way
with a horse, though.
You get him a mascot.
He gets attached to him.
You take him away,
boom, he falls apart.
You didn't have
to bring Skeeter.
Why didn't you ship him, honey?
I didn't know where
to paste the stamps.
Come on, sit down here. Bring me
up to date on everything.
How's Margaret?
Oh, she's all right. She's fine.
How's she look?
Beautiful as ever?
Yeah, more so.
Well, come on, tell me.
When did you see her last?
How'd she look?
What was she wearing?
Did she have her hair piled up
in back the way I like it?
Yes, it was up.
Oh, I can just see her.
You miss her, Dan?
Oh, miss her and how.
Did she say anything
about coming down?
No, not to me, she didn't.
Well, how'd you know
about Skeeter, then?
Well, she let me
read your letter.
Uh-huh.
She read it to me, that is.
And she said that I should
bring Skeeter down to you.
She did? You see.
She's beginning to weaken.
I knew she would. I'll have her
out of Higginsville
quicker than you can say,
"Never Late Early."
Give her a big kiss for me
when you get back.
I would, but I'm not going back.
What? Come on, infant, you're--
No. No, I'm not.
What have we here?
It could be my purse.
The finance company has arrived.
Are you my pal? True or false?
True.
Well, then you'll hold still
for a light touch, I'm sure.
How light?
Let's see
what you're holding here.
Lipstick, eyebrow pencil, comb,
compact, things and--
Oh, pay dirt!
I'll take this.
You may have that.
Well, that seems fair.
With this 50, I can enter Bill
in an overnight race tomorrow.
If he wins, I'll have 500
to put him in the big heat.
Oh, he'll win.
Oh, he'll walk his beat.
And after he wins the big one,
I'll pay you this back
with interest.
Did I save you enough
for a train fare home?
It doesn't matter.
I'm staying at the hotel
till after the race.
No, no.
Yes, I am.
Oh, no, you're on your way.
Don't be so patronizing.
I'm staying.
You can't stay.
You can't hang around
a race track town all alone.
Well, why not?
Well, for one thing,
you're developing into
a very tasty little dish.
You think I'll have
any difficulty down here?
There's a lot of characters
I know that would just love
to add you to their
crockery collection.
Fine. I'll get myself
a rosy-cheeked
peasant and get married.
Great. Great. L'amour comes
to la Princesse, huh?
Now you're talk--
I tell you what.
Why don't you save yourself
for old Dan, huh?
After Margaret gives me
the brush,
why, you and I can hit the road
together, just like tramps.
* Oh, ho, for the open road *
Won't that be dandy?
Yeah, that's a good idea
if my peasant doesn't object.
Ah-ha. You've got him
all picked out.
You've been operating
since we left Higginsville.
What did you grab?
Some big All-American, I'll bet.
No.
Well, who, then?
Come on, tell Grandma--
Oh, don't be so smart.
He's perfect.
He's the ideal man.
He's 11 feet tall.
He hasn't any ears,
and he eats little babies.
Here, wait a minute, princess.
Hey, wait a minute.
Princess, I'm sorry.
Come on. This is old
dancing Dan, your pal.
The fellow with the songs
and the lively patter.
Come on. Give us a smile, big.
Show the china.
Let's see them all.
That's better. That's better.
That's the princess
we love and adore.
Look, honey. You marry anybody
you want to, hear?
You go to the hotel and check in
and stick around for the race
if you wanna too.
It's your life.
You live it.
That's what I've
always preached.
Thanks, Dan.
Come on, sermon's over.
School's out. Beat it now.
I gotta get Broadway Bill
used to the starting gate.
Horses I understand, fair.
But women, aye...
Whitey.
Yes?
Hey, bubblehead.
You mean you got me up
this morning just to see this?
Early bird, Happy.
Early bird.
Take a deep breath of fresh air.
Get something in your lungs.
Live.
Ride him up close, rider.
Hey, Sid.
I think he's catching on.
Yes, bring him back tomorrow,
and if he breaks all right,
I'll take him off
the schooling list.
Thanks.
Isn't it amazing
what a difference
that little rooster makes?
Smile, Skeeter.
Why don't you slap
a saddle on the rooster.
You might have a better chance.
Oh, you think so, huh?
You'd holler if you're hung
with a new rope.
Hey, jock.
This time don't pull him up.
Work him out a good mile,
will you?
- I wanna clock him.
- All right, Mr. Brooks.
Ready his head.
Who's that black horse?
He's really traveling.
Oh, that's that Brooks'
Broadway Bill by Burning Ginger.
They all look good when
they're working alone.
There's nothing running
this morning.
Come on, let's get out of here.
I got a date.
He's really moving.
Holy smoke,
I wouldn't believe it.
What'd he do it in?
1:39.
Crying to run all the way.
Shake that watch.
I think it's ad-libbing.
Why, he was sired by Pegasus.
Whitey, go get the champion
and cool him out
and bring him in.
Hurry up.
Yes, sir. 1:39.
How about that? I've never seen
a 3-year-old work--
Uh-oh. Here comes a spy
from the Confederate Army.
Oh, we're cooked.
Well, Dad. I'm glad you came
around. We just clocked him.
Ninety-two dollars
and 72 cents.
Oh, I love the way
you ease into a conversation.
Eh?
I say, you should've been here.
You know what he worked in?
I don't give a hang.
I want this feed bill paid.
Pop, I promised you--
I can't pay my bills
with promises.
You got no bank account, mister.
I checked up on you.
Either I get my money now,
or I go to the law.
Now, my dear friend, if you're
worried about a paltry 92.82,
my good friend here,
Professor Pettigrew,
will be only too happy to vouch
for my financial stability.
Right, professor?
Why, of course, of course.
Let's pay this vulture off
and be rid of him.
How much is it, $1,000?
Oh, no, no, professor.
It would be senseless
to break a big bill here.
Just tell him you guarantee
my obligations.
To the full limit
of my resources.
There you are.
You see?
I don't see nothing.
Never saw him before.
Never heard of him.
Looks like a phony to me.
Ha!
Eh?
He's a rival tycoon.
This isn't funny.
No, I know, but he's really
one of the biggest operators--
I don't give a hang who he is,
I want my money.
Well, you're going to get it.
But you don't understand.
You're not coordinating.
We're letting you in
on a good thing.
Horse named Broadway Bill
just worked a mile in 1:39,
with the jock sitting
right against him. Eh?
He worked the mile in 1:39.
Wait a minute.
What's the idea
of telling him that?
Mr. Cadwalliger, I--
I thought this was
a private syndicate.
I have a jolly good mind
to withdraw my $25,000.
Now, now--
I didn't invest $25,000
to have you slip the information
to a penny-ante feed man.
He's not that.
He's not at all.
Pop Jones is one of my oldest
and truest friends.
I don't care if he's your
half-wit brother.
But he can be trusted,
I tell you.
You can trust a mug
with a puss like that.
I won't. I'm through.
Mr. Cadwalliger--
Let him go.
I shall assume his obligation.
No, professor, you're in for
$50,000 already. That's enough.
Why, it's a trifle, a trifle.
Your horse
is good enough for me.
Come along.
I'll wire my brokers.
Well, sir, I--
I hope I didn't cause you
no trouble, Mr. Brooks.
Trouble? Don't you ever
let that happen again.
No, no.
Let what happen again?
Mr. Brooks, don't drop
our dinner. It might bend.
Don't you be belittling
these beans, boy.
I'm just going to
let them simmer a little,
cut in a few of Bill's carrots,
add a soupçon of paprika,
a dash of lemon.
You can cut out the lemon.
Why?
Because we're fresh out of them.
Say. Looks like it's blowing up
a little rain, Whitey.
Good for us tomorrow.
Old Bill loves the mud.
Shower down, rain.
Let me hear from you.
Hey, somebody's in the barn.
Hope it ain't the feed man.
Oh, you.
Welcome to the Higgins
Greasy Spoon.
What's going on here?
What are you doing?
Nothing much.
It just seemed to me
this shack needed
a woman's touch.
Now, look.
You're a nice kid,
but you can't stake a claim
around these diggings.
We can take care of ourselves
all right, now beat it.
You've been doing
a pretty sloppy job of it.
You two look like you're
in the last stages of beriberi.
What have you
been living on, beans?
Why is it all women want
to play Florence Nightingale?
We've been eating like pigs,
haven't we, Whitey?
That's the word.
Mm-hm.
Besides, if you wanna
hang around here,
you've got to wear pants.
What do you think these are?
Those look like my best Levi's.
You been into my bag?
No.
Come on, take them off.
Take off my Levi's.
Come on.
Whose are they?
Are they mine?
No, they're mine.
Well, you look very cute
in them, as you well know.
Sure. Ravishing.
What did you do?
Corner that little
peasant somewhere?
Go on, I've got work to do.
I don't know if I wanna--
Pushed around in my own place.
Anyway, how do you expect
to win a race if you don't eat?
I ain't running.
Wha-- Whitey!
Oh, come hither.
Oh!
Princess, you're an angel
from heaven.
Looks like I'm marrying
the wrong woman.
Mm-hmm.
Isn't this a beauty? This nice,
brown, luscious roast chicken.
Skeeter! Skeeter!
Don't worry about Skeeter.
Princess wouldn't do that.
She loves Skeeter.
Skeeter's--
Is he there? Mm-hm.
Well, we got peas,
mashed potatoes, chicken.
Where's the dessert?
Dessert yet?
I suppose you expected
a great big cake with no flour,
no baking powder, no eggs...
Who needs those things?
We bake a cake every night here
without them. Don't we, Whitey?
Yeah, man, out of sunshine.
Stand by.
* Poing mi, pleet-baa,
pleet-baa, pleet-baa *
* Pleet-baa, pleet-baa *
* We ought to bake
a sunshine cake *
* Oh, we ought to bake
a sunshine cake *
What's that?
What's a sunshine cake?
* Why don't we get
the stuff together *
* And demonstrate how to bake
us up a sunshine cake *
* Mama *
* Oh, we ought to bake
a sunshine cake *
* It does more good
than a big, thick steak *
* You start with
a tablespoon of trouble *
Then?
* Then add a smile *
* And let it bubble up, up * Up?
* Oh, we ought to bake
a sunshine cake *
* It really isn't
so hard to make *
How?
* Fresh tears *
* A pound or two of pleasure *
* Kind words *
* Needn't use a measure cup *
So?
* Oh, it's not from... *
Dinner.
* ...a recipe book *
* And you don't have
to be a good cook *
The chicken.
* Or run to the oven and look *
Ow!
* With such a simple dish,
all you do is wish *
* So why not bake
a sunshine cake *
* Of course, it may keep
your dreams awake *
* Friends say there's nothing
like the flavor *
Really?
* Don't wait to do
your friends a favor *
* And for goodness' sake *
* What are we waiting for? *
* Let's bake a sunshine cake *
Ladies and gentlemen.
Due to technical difficulties
beyond our control,
the program originally scheduled
for this time
will now be heard.
* Well, we've got
the right ingredients *
* So let's proceed *
* Cheerful disposition,
that's all we need *
* Bits of happy poetry
we need a lot *
* Nothing *
* Add a little dreaming
of the cobweb type *
* Put on your slippers,
then you light your pipe *
* Then add a little feeling,
here's a measure cup *
* And then you give it to
the lady, let her stir it up *
* Stir it up? *
* Stir it up *
* Stir it up * * No fuma *
* SÃ, sÃ, sÃ,
da, da, da, da, da, da, da *
* Hey * * Hopa, hopa *
* Rumba *
* Riba *
* Yes, arumba, arumba,
hello, toowee bravo *
* Enchilada *
* Low bridge * Olé.
Olé.
* Look out, we're coming
round you *
* Nobody heard *
* Señorita, be my guest *
SÃ, señor.
¿Como dice?
* Da, da, da, da, dum, dum *
* SÃ, sÃ, sÃ, da, da, da,
da, da, da, da, hey! *
* Ba, da, da, da *
* It's got vitamins A *
* Vitamins B *
* Vitamins L-O-V-E *
* It's fine if you're fat *
* Finer if you're thin *
* What's wrong if you get
a double grin? *
* Oh, you ought to bake
a sunshine cake *
* Oh, she ought to bake
a sunshine cake *
* I can't bake a sunshine cake *
* You both better go
and jump in the lake *
* Oh, for goodness' sake *
* Why don't we check
on the chicken *
* We can't live
on a sunshine cake *
* We ought to bake
a sunshine cake *
* Oh, we ought to bake
a sunshine cake *
* Oh, we ought to bake
a sunshine cake *
* Of course, it may keep
your dreams awake *
* Don't wait to do
your friends a favor *
* Let's bake a sunshine cake *
Alle, alle oxen free.
* Of course, it may keep
your dreams awake *
Hey!
* Friends say *
* There's nothing
like the flavor *
* Don't wait to do
your friends a favor *
John Chuck.
Endoina.
* And for goodness' sake,
let's-- *
Cake is done, son.
Sure enough?
Oh-ho. It's souffléd
and frappéd.
Dinner.
Oh, what a beautiful sonata.
The number one song
on the hit parade.
Just bring that great big,
brown, beautiful bird over here.
We'll take some and leave some,
It's hot.
But not much.
Mmm.
Oh, the rain's coming in.
Oh, let it come in.
I could eat this bird
underwater.
Give me some equipment here.
Right.
Give me a fork and a--
Sir.
A good, sharp knife.
All right, the act's over.
That's all. It's been on.
Pretty happy tonight,
aren't you?
Oh, I ought to be happy.
Tomorrow, we're going to win
that $1,000 race.
And after that,
we'll win the big one,
and we'll prove
to Margaret that--
* We ought to bake
a sunshine cake *
Mr. Brooks,
the rain's coming in.
All right, let it rain.
I'm busy.
I'm working on this bird.
You really want to win
that big race, don't you?
Oh, honey, you'll never
know how much.
I got to win that money
to breed horses.
You will. I've got
my fingers crossed.
Mr. Brooks, the rain's
coming in, right over Bill.
Whoa, Bill. Now, steady.
Whoa, Bill, whoa.
Here, now, Bill.
Here, steady.
Let's get the doors
and the windows.
You get that big door there.
Yes, sir.
What about dinner?
Come on, Bill.
Here, boy. Here, Bill.
Come on, Bill.
Here. Here, now.
Here, boy. Here, here,
here. Come on, Bill.
Whoa, whoa.
Whoa, Bill. Here.
Whoa.
Hey, get me a dry blanket.
This thing is soaking wet.
Here.
Come here, boy.
Here. Whoa, boy.
You'll be all right now.
You'll be all right.
Steady. Whoa, Bill.
It's raining right
on top of him.
Come on with that blanket!
Hurry up!
Yeah, I'll fix that. Come find
a warm place to move him.
Okay.
Steady, Bill.
Steady, Bill, old boy.
Ain't no such thing.
No dry place?
It looks like a punchboard.
Whitey, you stay right
with that horse, now.
Don't let him get excited.
Hum to him. Build a fire.
Dan, can I help?
No, you stay out of the way.
You'll get hurt.
Bradshaw.
Put Bradshaw on!
Yes, Mr. Whitehall?
Hello, Bradshaw.
How's Gallant Lady?
It's beginning
to rain pretty hard.
Make sure that all
the windows are shut.
Don't let any drafts come in.
We don't want her
catching any colds.
And watch that thermostat!
Don't let it vary
more than 2 degrees.
Righto, I'll hop to it.
Now, you blighters,
check all those windows.
What are you doing up here?
Go on, get back down.
Do you wanna get hurt?
Whoa, boy.
I don't think
it's ever going to let up.
Here, give me one of those
mustard plasters, will you?
Hurry up.
Here you are.
Let me have them.
Here, Bill.
Here, Bill.
Whoa, boy.
How is he?
Warm?
No, he's still shivering.
Get another one ready,
will you? Right away.
Poor darling, you're not going
to get sick on us, are you?
Of course not.
Here, boy.
Just keep him up on his feet.
Don't let him get down,
or we're cooked.
Whoa, baby.
Whoa.
It's pretty cold in here.
What time is it, Whitey?
Four o'clock.
Four o'clock?
I'll make you some coffee.
You'll be all right.
Oh!
Hey, big boy.
What now?
I don't know.
Well...
Well done, huh?
Oh, you poor kid,
you must be beat.
You look worse than the chicken.
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm kidding, honey.
Here, come on over here,
where you can stretch out
and get some rest.
I'm sorry, Dan.
I'll be all right.
I wanna help.
No, you must be beat.
You must be knocked out.
I'm not sleepy!
Get the coat off and lie down.
You should be back in the hotel,
where you can keep warm,
instead of over here
trying to do the work
of five or six roustabouts.
Sit down there
and give me your boots.
Oh, you poor kid.
You wanted to come
to the races, huh?
My old sleeping bag.
You'll be all right.
We'll get you zipped up here,
and you'll be snug
as a bug in a rug.
How that?
That's fine.
That better?
Thanks, Dan.
You're a sweet kid, princess.
No kidding.
Okay.
Get some rest now.
Dan?
Hey?
Don't worry, everything
will be all right.
Yeah. Sure.
Sick animal.
It's pretty bad, huh?
He's running a high fever.
I just gave him
a shot of penicillin.
But with a cold like that,
it may be some time
before the horse runs.
He looks so pathetic.
Every two hours, give him these.
Send the boy with me,
and I'll send you back
some capsules.
Okay.
Save a lot of time.
Say, doc, he's entered
in the big race Saturday.
What am I going to do?
Saturday?
Well, I don't know,
that's a week off.
Horses are very funny.
Sometimes they snap out of it
just like that.
And sometimes...
But don't work him until
the fever disappears,
and he starts eating again.
Even then, I wouldn't
work him too hard.
Give his heart a chance.
Rest him till the very
last minute. All right, Whitey.
Come on, Bill.
Come on.
You're not going to let
Dan down now, are you?
You're not going to let
a little cold stop you.
Come on, try and get up.
Well, do we or do we not
call this whole thing off?
I don't want a fiasco
happening around here.
They're hinting at it already.
Father, don't you dare call
anything off. It's my wedding.
I warned you, Margaret,
you and your hockey players
and jockeys.
And it's coming off
according to schedule,
and neither you nor
any horse is going to stop it.
Why don't you do
something about it?
What's Alice doing down there?
Oh, she took him down
a pet rooster or something.
Rooster?
Has she gone crazy too?
I don't like it. That's no place
for her, the little imp.
Oh, stop worrying about Alice.
She'll be back, and so will Dan.
Yes? Perhaps.
That's what I came
to see you about.
I know the others have
been talking to you
about the paper-box factory.
Well, I can't hold his job
open indefinitely.
You owe it to me
to hold it open for him.
It was your fault he left.
My fault the man
doesn't like paper boxes?
You thought you could
order him around,
the way you do Mary's husband,
and Mathilda's.
He didn't wanna leave.
He loves me. You drove him away.
We always get around
to this, don't we?
Imagine the position
that you've put me in.
People are saying
I have a horse for a rival,
and the horse is winning out.
Well, it's true, isn't it?
And you're not doing
a thing to stop it.
If that horse wins a race,
you'll never see
Dan Brooks again.
Oh, Father, be your age.
The day of miracles is over.
I inquired about Broadway Bill.
The man at the nightclub
said he was a pig.
Pig?
Yes?
A man by the name
of Butch calling, sir.
Butch?
Oh. Oh, yes. Yes. Put him on.
Hello, Mr. Butch?
Are you prepared to accept
a wager on a pig--? A horse?
Come on, let's get up.
Try. Come on, get up.
Dan's out there worrying.
You don't want Dan
to worry over you, do you?
Come on, Bill.
Come on, try.
Try to get up. We gotta
win that race Saturday, Bill.
Come on, boy. Come on, now,
try real hard. Try.
We're going up this time.
Come on. Here we go.
This time, we get up.
Come on.
Come on. Come--
Come on, boy.
Up you go.
Dan, he's getting up!
Huh?
Dan! Dan, he's up!
Oh, you old goldbrick artist.
You're going to be all right.
Come on.
Come on, get up on your toes.
On your feet.
Whitey! Whitey!
Oh, Whitey!
Whitey, bring us a carrot.
Come on.
Oh, I got some right here.
Here, Bill. Here.
Look, he's eating.
Oh, this horse has got a heart
as big as a grandstand.
He's going to be okay.
Think he'll be able
to run on Saturday?
Run? He'll dance!
* A do-si-do and away we go!
Do-si-do-- *
What are we doing dancing here?
We got work to do.
Ouch!
Come on, Bill. Come on, boy.
But the vet said
not to work him.
Oh, he don't know this horse.
This is a different horse.
Come on, Bill.
You big sissy, you.
Come on, boy.
Come, Bill. Here, Bill.
Come on, you big, black...
Come on, boy.
He's going to run Saturday.
He's going to win Saturday.
Come on.
Big old goldbrick, in there
goldbricking on me, weren't you?
You was goldbricking on me.
Yes, you was.
No, professor, I--
Oh, I nearly forgot.
Compliments of vinegar-puss.
Well, isn't this dandy?
Fine.
Oh, sinkers again.
Don't you ever have any
meat over at your house?
Meat? Meat?
What's meat?
Professor, I don't think
we can take a chance.
The vet told me not to dare
run this horse until Saturday.
So we gotta find some other way
to raise the $500.
Are you with me?
To the bitter end, my friend.
Now, I have a suggestion.
Of course, it's likely to jar
your tender sensibilities,
but suppose we go
to work for it?
Oh, my allergy.
It's our only hope.
There's a lot of ways
you can pick up
a little quick scratch
around a racing town.
Why don't you go collect Happy
and see what you can do.
Well, the shock will
probably kill him,
and I feel slightly
nauseous myself.
Godspeed, professor.
Whitey?
Yes, sir?
You got any ideas?
Oh, yes, sir. My acrobats
are ready to perform.
Can I help too?
That's a handsome offer, honey,
but it's a man's job.
Five hundred is a lot of money.
I just let Whitey
and the professor in on it
so they'd feel good.
I could raise the whole
bundle myself.
Matter of fact,
I'm on my way now,
down to the bank
where they know me.
Open. Let's see.
Boing. So long.
I tell you,
that dog was leading
all the way and got
beat by that much.
Mr. Bagley?
Yes, ma'am.
Did you see that last race?
I wouldn't bet him
with your dough.
He hadn't had a horse out of--
Say, bud, they still giving
15 bucks a pint for this stuff?
Where you been? Twenty-five,
as long as it's red.
Oh, happy day.
Well, they can
drain me dry, boy.
I'm going to leave here loaded.
Hey? Who do you like
in the fifth?
Oh, I gotta pick up a fast 500.
I need a long shot.
There's a thing in there
called Fancy Felice,
going to be about 30-for-1.
Yeah.
I'm betting my pint on her, boy.
Well, it's your blood.
- Fancy Felice.
- Mr. Brooks.
Hit me with that happy needle.
Leave me enough
to get home on, huh?
Roll your sleeve down.
What?
Your blood count's rather low.
You haven't been eating
regularly, have you?
Oh, you must have got ahold
of a bad corpuscle
or something, sister.
Here, try the other arm.
Yeah, I know.
We have a fund
for fellows like you.
Go out and get
yourself a good meal.
- Mr. Shaugnessy?
- Here.
I'm Dan Brooks.
I own Broadway Bill.
He's going to win the derby.
Not if he hasn't been eating
any better than you have.
Go in, Mr. Shaugnessy.
Thanks.
What's with you?
Late scratch.
I'm just a drip
without a drop, I guess.
Right at the captain's house.
Come on, dice.
Ten is the play.
A dollar
and six bits on ten.
Ten.
Wait a minute.
- Loaded.
- You double-crosser, you!
Hello.
Yes?
Um...
How do you hock something?
First time, huh?
Just put it on the counter,
lady. It's painless.
At last we're back in action.
Pick a sucker.
It would be difficult
to pick one who wasn't.
Now, remember, all we make
goes to Broadway Bill.
I don't care what it's for,
as long as we work.
Maybe you'll get used
to the idea and like it.
Oh, there he is.
I never knew a fellow could have
so much bad luck
in one day, in all my life.
I'm sure my wife will give me
the dickens for this.
Our first victim,
and dripping with innocence.
Beautiful.
Go get him.
* Pick them and pluck them *
* Pick them and pluck them *
If you had such bad luck
all the day long as I've had...
I don't know what I'm going
to tell the old woman.
I beg your pardon, uh, could I
borrow your pencil for a moment?
Oh, sure.
Uh, the ear.
Oh, there you are, sir.
Thank you.
Your attention, please.
Doughboy, number three,
is 2 pounds overweight.
Pardon me, sir,
do you own horses?
What was that?
Do you own horses?
Well, naturally.
- Thank you.
- Colonel Snodgrass.
Colonel Snodgrass! I've been
looking all over for you.
The big boss says for you
to scratch your horse.
Scratch my horse? What do
you mean, scratch my horse?
It's going to be a boat race.
They got it all set for--
Oh, got him all set to win.
Shh.
He said to tell you
and nobody else.
Thank you, sonny boy.
Well, good day.
Good-- Pardon me, sir.
Couldn't let a fellow
in on it, could you?
On what?
On the name of the horse.
The one they've got
all set to win.
Oh, no, no.
I couldn't do that.
Oh, I've had awfully bad luck.
I haven't had a winner all day.
I'm sorry, my friend, but these
things are confidential.
If too many people wager,
it brings the odds down.
Oh, I won't bet too much,
just enough to kind of get even.
Sorry, stranger. Sorry.
Oh, gee whiz.
How would you like
the name of that horse?
How would I like it?
Say, listen--
Okay, It'll cost you $25.
Twenty-five dollars!
All right, forget it!
No! Just a minute.
Don't get excited.
I'm taking a chance
on losing my job, ain't I?
Yeah, but that's
an awful lot of money.
Come on, make it snappy.
Somebody might see us.
There you are. Now, what's
the name of the horse?
What?
What's the name of the horse?
Doughboy.
Doughboy!
Don't go spreading it around.
Oh, you can trust me.
I never talk.
Doughboy. Doughboy.
Doughboy.
Doughboy. Doughboy.
Doughboy. I just got
word right from the stables.
Can't lose. Doughboy!
Bet all you got on Doughboy.
Doughboy. It's in the bag.
It's all fixed.
They're going to hit Doughboy.
Hock the family jewels
and bet it on Doughboy.
Give me a 150 bucks on Doughboy.
All the money my wife's
got in the world. Hey!
How much will you give me for
this suit?
Can't use it.
Here, I milked him for 25.
Excellent.
You know, it grieves me
to see the gullibility
of the human race.
What fleabag did you give him?
Doughboy.
Doughboy. Ho, ho! Why, Doughboy
hasn't the ghost of a chance.
Okay. Pick another sucker.
Oh, a pleasure.
* Pick them and pluck them
Pick them and pluck them *
I beg your pardon, but could I
borrow your pencil for a moment?
Oh, I'll mark your program, sir.
Number three. Doughboy.
Can't lose, can't lose.
I got the lowdown
on the next race: Doughboy.
Doughboy on the schnoz.
He can't miss.
I just come from the stable.
Get down on him. Doughboy.
Doughboy will walk in.
The smart money's on Doughboy.
Doughboy's hot.
Twenty-five!
Twenty-five! Twenty-five!
Twenty-five!
Twenty-five dollars
on Doughboy!
There they go!
Doughboy. Doughboy.
Doughboy.
Dough-- Dough--
Where's Doughboy?
Bilked by my own chicanery.
I beg your pardon.
Watch yourself.
Watch yourself.
Doughboy!
Coming through.
Doughboy!
Doughboy!
Doughboy!
Whitey?
Yes, miss.
Come here.
Uh-oh. That's what you get
for using loaded dice.
It was for a noble cause.
Yes, I know.
It's a man's job.
Well, today is ladies' day.
Here's $120.
You won that shooting craps,
you understand?
I did?
Yes. There'll be more tomorrow.
If you tell Mr. Brooks
where that came from,
I'll fix your other eye.
I bet you would at that.
Miss Alice?
Yes?
I'm pulling for you.
Thanks, Whitey.
* Men say there's nothing
like the flavor *
* Don't wait to do
your friends a favor *
* And for goodness' sake *
* Let's bake a sunshine cake *
460, 470, 480...
I've never seen
Alexander Hamilton look so well.
480, 485, 490, 495.
- What comes after 495?
- Five hundred!
You are right, my friend.
And $10 to celebrate on.
Let me run through that
with my bare fingers.
Here, here. To think that this
vast fortune was accumulated
with just the clever employment
of two little squares of ivory.
A toast to Whitey, whose hand
is quicker than his eye.
To Whitey!
My dear professor,
even though your share in this
was as nebulous as mine,
your story about Doughboy
was so touching, we forgive you.
The first time I ever saw a guy
sucked in by his own gag.
I was a victim of mass hypnosis.
Yes, I'll say you were.
And to you, princess,
for your moral support, a kiss.
And now to
the secretary's office
to deposit the $500 entry fee.
That done, we shall
repair to the village,
where there
shall be merrymaking,
dancing in the streets
and carousing
in the cool of the evening.
Get your coat, honey.
Oh, I don't need it.
I've got your kiss
to keep me warm.
Get a hen and join us.
* We ought to bake us
a sunshine cake *
* It does more good
than a big, thick steak *
* Start with a tablespoon
of trouble *
Doughboy.
* Then add a smile
and let it bubble *
* La-la-la-la-la
la-la-la *
* La-la-la-la-la
la-la-la *
* La-la-la-la-la
la-la-la *
* La-la-la-la-la la-la-la *
* La-la-la-la-la la-la-la *
* Oh *
* Oh *
* Oh *
* The owner told Clarence
the clocker *
* The clocker told
Jockey McGee *
* The jockey, of course,
passed it on to the horse *
* And the horse told me *
* If it's muddy or wet,
take the size of your bet *
* Divide by the size
of the shoes *
* Add the age multiplied
by the length of the stride *
* Providing you win,
you can't lose *
* Oh *
* Oh *
* Oh *
* The owner told Clarence
the clocker *
* The clocker told
Jockey McGee *
* The jockey, of course,
passed it on to the horse *
* And the horse told me *
* Now, it was sunny and warm,
and according to form *
* No nag could get near
Maryjane *
* Well, now,
when the weather is dry *
* She can take off and fly *
* So I bet
and it started to rain *
* Oh *
Oh, shut up, will you?
* The owner told Clarence
the clocker *
* The clocker told
Jockey McGee *
* The jockey, of course
passed it on to the horse *
* And the horse told me *
Hey, No-Blood.
Hello, pal.
Here's a new one.
What?
* Tell the age of the beast
by his teeth and at least *
* His teeth in the paddock
looked great *
* But the toothy old wretch *
* Stopped to sneeze
in the stretch *
* But he won
by a lost upper plate *
* Oh *
* The owner told Clarence
the clocker *
* The clocker told
Jockey McGee *
* The jockey, of course,
passed it on to the horse *
* And the horse told me *
Hey, I got one, wait for me.
Don't rush. No, I got one.
Hello, Shorts. What've you got?
* I had 20 across
with no chance for a loss *
* I even hocked all
of my clothes *
You fool.
* But the horse threw a shoe,
had bellyache too *
* Now I'm down
to my buttons and bows *
* Oh *
* The owner told Clarence
the clocker *
* The clocker told
Jockey McGee *
* The jockey, of course,
passed it on to the horse *
* And the horse told me... *
Dan, what if you lose tomorrow?
Oh, Margaret used
to love that song.
* But, darling, I'd say we've
got a sure thing this time *
* I'd say that we're
on our way to a star *
* And you can take
a tip from me *
* We are, we are *
* And I won't-- *
Where's Bill?
Hey. Hey.
Bill?
Bill! Bill!
Whitey!
Mr. Brooks! Mr. Brooks!
Where's the horse? Where's Bill?
He's not in his stall.
Where is he?
They took him away.
Who?
Mr. Jones, the feed man.
He came here with the sheriff.
The sheriff?
Yes, sir, and took him off.
Why didn't you stop them?
I tried, but they had papers.
They put a rope
around his neck...
A rope?
...and tied him to an automobile
and dragged him off.
Which way did they go?
I chased them for half a mile,
but it didn't do no good.
Dan! Dan, wait! Wait!
Get in that stall!
Get in there, or I'll--
What are you doing
to that horse?
Why, you dirty--!
Hey, what's going on?
What's going on here?
- Come on, let go. Break it up.
- Take it easy, now.
Let go of me!
Take it easy.
That rat was whipping my horse!
He was beating my horse!
Cool off and have a nice sleep.
Don't you worry about me, you
better take care of my horse.
I'll go right out
and cut him some hay.
That's Broadway Bill, he's
in the Imperial Derby tomorrow.
He'll look funny carrying the
judge across the finish line.
He'll carry the judge, the jury,
the clerk of the court
and the bailiff
and win that heat.
What's eating him?
Search me.
Somebody attacks his nag,
and he's blowing his top.
What's the matter,
operator?
I wanna get Pittsburgh.
If Detroit can't
handle any more, okay.
What's the price?
Okay, 2,000 on Sun Up.
Denver, 2,200. Frisco, 1,800.
New Orleans, 3,000.
Dallas, 12.
New York, 9, 000.
What's the total?
What's the total?
Close to 40,000.
Why, we haven't even
started yet.
What's the average?
About 7-to-1.
7-to-1? Listen, Sully,
I'm going to shoot the works
on that horse of yours.
I hope we're not
pulling a boner.
You're sure he's all right?
Sun Up? If it wasn't
for Gallant Lady--
Forget Gallant Lady.
He's a cinch to beat
all the others. Okay
All right, folks,
get your bets down, please.
Don't get shut out.
The big race of the day.
Any bets on Broadway Bill?
Not one. They're laying off
of that plug like poison.
Ten dollars
on Sun Up to win.
Better make him 100-to-1.
Might pick up some sucker money.
Okay.
Make Broadway Bill 100-to-1.
All right, folks,
Broadway Bill is 100-to-1.
A 100-to-1 shot.
Mm-mm.
Broadway Bill, you old rascal.
Where have you been all my life?
Horses again.
You'd think they were men.
Here's where I give
that bookie heart failure.
He's going to buy my fall outfit
and doesn't know it.
Number 28.
That's you again, Mae.
Oh, it would be.
That old moneybags in 28
is going to drive me--
Why, Mae, you ought
to be thrilled.
J.P. Chase is the richest man
in the world.
Yeah.
Confound it, where is everybody?
Nurse? Nurse!
Now, now, now,
what's all the excitement?
I've gotta get out of here.
Uh-uh. You're a big boy now.
Well, I tell you,
I've got to get out of--
Oh, no, now, not another needle.
Not this time, cutie.
Where's that idiot of a doctor?
I'm going crazy in here.
Now, take it easy.
You've got a broken leg.
Broken leg. I've got
a broken back from lying here,
reading this cheap trash.
Relax.
I've got a business
to attend to, young woman.
Relax.
So you didn't make
another million
in the market today.
Oh, is that so?
Well, tell me something, smarty.
How do you pass
your time in this prison?
Oh, I flirt with the angels.
You what?
Bet on horses.
You bet on horses?
That keep your mind occupied?
Brother, it keeps
my mind occupied,
my blood boiling
and my purse empty.
Well, what horse
are you betting on today?
Broadway Bill.
Broadway Bill? Why?
It's 100-to-1.
That's reason enough.
And I'm going
to win one someday.
100-to-1? How much money
are you betting?
Two smackers.
Two what?
Two smackers. Dollars.
Those things you get
nightmares about.
Oh, all right. Well, you can
bet 2 smackers for me.
You?
Well, why not, huh?
Give me something to think
about. One. Two. There.
Boy, is this funny.
What's funny?
You, the richest man in the
world, betting 2 bucks on a nag.
Are you sure you can spare it?
Go on. You get out of here.
Just put that 2 bucks
on that Buffalo Bill
or whatever his name is.
This is going
to rock Wall Street.
Just a minute, young lady.
How will I know we've won?
You'll know. I'll come in
and dance a hula for you.
Well, that's something.
Hey, Steve, you want to hear
something funny?
J.P. Chase just bet 2 whole
dollars on Broadway Bill.
Oh, really?
That's very funny.
Hey, Rosie, get this.
Old J.P. Chase
just bet 2 C's on Broadway Bill.
Broadway Bill?
Broadway Bill? Hey, J.P. Chase
just bet 2 G's on Broadway Bill!
J.P. Chase? What do
you know about that?
Boy, that's good enough for me.
Give me that phone.
Yeah, 20,000 bucks.
Can you imagine that?
J.P. Chase don't
chuck it down like that
unless he knows something.
Must be hot.
He bet 50,000 smackers.
A hundred thousand?
You're kidding.
I just got it from the inside.
Two hundred grand.
On Broadway Bill?
Cross my heart.
He said something like
a quarter of a million.
Wow!
On a 100-to-1 shot too.
Two bucks on Broadway Bill,
on the nose.
Two hundred dollars
to win on Broadway Bill.
Give me $2 to win on
Broadway Bill for me,
$2 for my brother,
and $2 for my wife.
I got a telegram on him.
You oughta get a bet on him
yourself. He's going to win!
Gee, it scared me to death.
I thought it was my mother.
Who? Broadway Bill
hasn't got a chance.
What do I care what a bunch
of yokels are doing?
Let them bet their heads off.
The more they do,
the better I'm going to like it.
Look what they're doing for us.
They sent the price of Sun Up
from 4-to-1 up to 12-to-1.
Boss, we've got one less
horse to beat.
Broadway Bill's going
to be scratched.
What do you mean, "scratched"?
I didn't make this up,
I just heard it.
Well, what happened?
I thought I was bringing you
some good news.
All right, come on,
what happened?
I don't know.
The guy that owns him
got himself in a jam.
He's in jail.
In jail? With Broadway Bill
out of the race,
the odds on Sun Up will go
right back to 4-to-1.
Listen, I've got to get ahold
of that guy. What's his name?
Brooks. Dan Brooks.
Brooks. Dan Brooks,
that's right.
He's got to put Broadway Bill
back in the race.
Now, you fellows don't lay
any bets till I get back.
Company.
Hm?
Hello, Dan.
Hello, Mr. Howard.
What's this little
delegation here?
You fellows didn't bring
a loaf of bread
with a file in it, did you?
I'd ask you in, only the door
seems to be stuck.
What happened?
Along about the third round,
I found out the guy
I was messing with
was wearing a badge,
so here I am.
It isn't bad, though. It keeps
me out of the pool hall.
What's the idea,
scratching that horse of yours?
It's a long, dull story.
Something about a feed bill.
You've got me in a mess.
I've got a lot of dough
bet on that horse of yours.
You have?
Sure.
Did you see him work?
Oh, sure, sure.
You know, I had that horse
go a mile in--
Why don't you tell a guy
you're in a jam?
How much are you in hock for?
Oh, about 200, I guess.
Why, that's chicken feed.
Never keep a secret
like that from a pal.
Here.
What's this?
Go ahead, you want the horse
back in the race, don't you?
Well, yeah.
Well, so do I.
You're not the old man
with the whiskers, are you?
Huh?
Never mind, I'm just grateful.
I'll pay you back soon as I can.
Forget it.
I'll get paid back plenty
when that horse breezes in.
He'll breeze in.
Don't worry about that.
You got a jockey?
Well, I was talking to
this little boy, Eddie Jacobs.
He's an apprentice.
How about Ted Williams?
Ted Williams?
Can you get him?
Can I get him? He'll do anything
for me. We're like that.
With Williams aboard,
it's just bring
a buck and a truck,
and we're home.
Go on down to the captain.
Pay his fine.
Get him out of here.
Put up a bond, whatever
they want. Get him out fast.
Okay, boss.
Now, you're all clear.
I don't know how to thank you.
If you were free, I'd marry you.
Don't worry, I'll make
plenty on that race.
I'll have Williams
come up and see you
right away.
So long, Dan.
Oh, say, Eddie.
Yeah?
Where will we go on
our honeymoon? Hey, guard.
Hey, princess, Whitey.
Teddy Williams, the rider.
Oh, hello.
How do you do, Mr. Williams?
How do you do?
Bill, this is D-day for you.
And here's the boy that's going
to ride you to glory.
Ted Williams, Bill.
He looks sharp.
Oh, he's fit and ready to run.
I blew him out
of the gate this morning.
Three-eighths of a mile
in 35 flat.
Thirty-five?
Crying to run all the way.
Say, how is he in the gate?
I hear he threw his last jock.
Oh, he's okay now. That was
only his first out, kid.
Has he got a hard mouth?
Cast iron.
Don't try to hold him.
He doesn't like to be held.
You just hang on, Mr. Williams.
Old Bill will do the rest.
I guess I'm just going
along for the ride.
And 10 percent of the purse.
You better get over
to the jocks' room.
Be prepared to have
your picture taken, son,
'cause you're going to be
in the winner's circle.
Whitey, looks like
the old man with the whiskers
has really got
his arms around us, huh?
Bill, I've got a little bit
of a shock for you.
Haven't got the truck to take
you to the race track today.
Old Bill, he'll walk just like
the rest of us poor people.
I guess so.
* Take your places,
off to the races *
* We don't give a rap
and we're off to the handicap *
Hey, this joint's full of smoke.
Don't nobody ever inhale?
Doc, will you move over
with that pipe, Hempstead?
You're killing me
with that pipe.
What are you smoking, overhalls?
* The Camptown ladies
sing this song *
* A doo-dah, a doo-dah *
* The Camptown race track
nine miles long *
* Oh, doo-dah day *
* I came down there
with my hat caved in *
* Doo-dah, a doo-dah *
* A doo-dah, doo-dah *
* Go back home
with a pocket full of tin *
* Oh, doo-dah day *
* Gwine to run all night *
* Gwine to run all day *
* I'll bet my money
on the bobtailed nag *
* Somebody bet on the bay *
* The long-tailed filly
and the big, black horse *
* A doo-dah, a doo-dah *
* A doo-dah, a doo-dah,
a doo-dah *
* They both cut across,
oh, doo-dah day *
* The blind horse sticking
in the big mud hole *
* A doo-dah, a doo-dah,
a doo-dah *
* You can't touch the bottom
with a 10-foot pole *
* Oh, doo-dah day *
* Gwine to run all night *
* Going to keep them running *
* Gwine to run all day *
* Bet your money
on the bobtailed nag *
* Somebody bet on the bay *
* Watch old Bill
in the first furlong *
* Doo-dah, doo-dah *
* Bet him to win
and you can't go wrong *
Amen.
* Oh, doo-dah day *
* I'll bet my money
with dancing Dan *
* Doo-dah, doo-dah *
* We'll win enough money
to pay the feed man *
* He's paid *
* No change? *
* All gone *
* Gwine to run all night *
* Gwine to run *
* Gwine to run all day *
* All night, all day *
* I'll bet on
the bobtailed nag *
* Oh, doo-dah day *
* Oh, doo-dah day *
* Oh, doo-dah day *
That mob down there's
gone crazy.
You know what Broadway Bill
is at the track? 6-to-1.
What are you worrying about?
Now, listen, Eddie,
there's a lot of dough
going down on that horse.
Where's it coming from?
A plug like Broadway Bill
doesn't get a play like that
unless something's up. Somebody
knows something, I tell you.
Maybe it's the Greek. Maybe he's
trying to pull a fast one.
You're screwy.
The Greek's in with us.
Then where is it coming from?
Use your brain,
maybe you'd find out.
Did you ever try
to figure it out?
Every bet that's being placed on
Broadway Bill is a 2-buck bet.
Two bucks. Does that sound
like wise money to you?
It starts out 50-to-1,
meat for the sucker.
Every barber, bootblack
and chambermaid
scrambles to get aboard.
The rumor gets started,
the first thing you know,
all the poor boobs are trying
to hock their undershirts.
I've seen it happen
a million times.
It's sucker money,
that's what it is. Sucker money.
Well, I still don't like it.
Maybe you'd be happier
if you knew that
Ted Williams was
riding Broadway Bill.
He is?
Yeah, Williams on Broadway Bill,
and Roberts on Gallant Lady.
Now are you happy?
Sun Up is 20-to-1 in Chicago.
What'd I tell you?
How much will they handle?
How much will you handle?
Fifteen thousand?
Okay.
New York, 20-to-1.
How much can they handle?
How much can you handle?
About 20.
Okay. Chicago, 15 grand.
New York, 20 grand.
You want the race
run honestly, don't you?
Naturally, but I don't like this
implication that my jockey--
Listen, Mr. Whitehall,
we spend a fortune every year
maintaining our
Protective Bureau.
Why? To try to keep
racing honest.
If we can't have it that way,
we'll close the track up.
Yes, I know, but what makes you
think that my boy is involved?
I had Howard trailed,
and I had his men trailed.
I was determined to find out
just what he had up his sleeve,
and I found out, Mr. Whitehall.
Your jockey, Roberts.
Well, that's the works.
How much have we got down?
A hundred and one thousand,
average 12-to-1.
Over a million bucks.
It's the one
we've been waiting for.
Hey, boss, did you hear
what happened?
Joey Roberts has been suspended.
He ain't going to ride
Gallant Lady.
How did you find that out?
I saw it on the bulletin.
They got Bobby North aboard.
Somebody smelled a rat.
This is a mess. Come on.
I knew this was
too good to be true.
The horses are now
in the paddock.
I'm only interested in
one horse. Sun Up, number five.
Beat him and you win this race.
You're up against some
tough customers.
That jockey on Sun Up
might try anything.
Don't let him get away with it.
Gallant Lady must win this race.
Now, there's only one horse
you've got to beat.
It's Gallant Lady.
But you've got to beat her.
I don't care how.
You've ridden lots of races
and won.
If you win this, there's a 5 G
bonus for you, if you do.
Use your head or...
anything else that's necessary,
but you've got to beat
Gallant Lady. Understand?
Listen, son. Bill don't like
to run in behind horses. See?
If you get boxed or pocketed,
take him back and go around.
Don't worry if you lose
a little ground.
He'll make it up for you.
There's one thing, though.
You've got to remember
this one thing.
Are you listening to me?
Yeah, sure.
This is a free-running horse,
see. Don't hold him back.
Give him his head.
Give him his head,
or he'll go crazy.
I got to win this race, son.
I got to.
I don't want to give you
the old house-and-mortgage
or the sick-mother routine,
but my whole future
depends on it.
I can't explain, but that's it.
Good luck to you.
Good luck to you.
Jockeys up.
Now, remember, it's up to you.
If you're smart,
you'll cop this race.
Remember, it's up to you.
Well, Bill, it's up to you, boy.
Must be nervous.
What are you shaking for?
Who's shaking?
Come on, Skeeter, let's go see
a good race. Come on.
The horses are on the track.
Here he comes.
Dan.
Well, it won't be long now.
Dan, Dan, I stand
at the crossroads of destiny.
If we don't win,
it's goodbye, professor.
Why, what's the matter?
I got 50 from Edna this morning,
but I had to promise to marry
her if Broadway Bill loses.
Well, a fellow can always
change his mind.
Not with vinegar-puss.
She made him put it in writing.
Confidentially, Dan,
it can't be done.
I'm slightly married already.
Well, who to?
To another vinegar-puss
in Latonia.
In a moment of carelessness.
He thought he had
a sure thing that time too,
but the horse forgot
what he came for.
Dan. Dan, on my bended knees,
win this race.
All right, professor.
So long, fellow. Good luck.
But your horse just
don't figure.
Any guy that puts
his dough on him
just naturally
believes in fairies.
Come on, Stupe.
Don't pay any attention
to him, Dan.
Good luck.
Thanks, princess.
If Happy's right, I'm on my way
to Higginsville
in the morning, huh?
Don't even think about it.
You'll win.
Thanks, princess.
Hey.
You're not supposed to cry till
after the race. Come on, here.
What's the matter?
Nothing.
Good luck.
Now, now, go watch the race.
Go on.
I wish I knew how this thing
was going to end.
That Broadway Bill
looks all right.
What's Doc Poole worried about?
I don't think he was ever sick.
He looks all right today.
Come right on in, miss.
Did you place a bet
on number six, Broadway Bill?
Sure crazy if you didn't.
Two dollars on Broadway Bill.
Number six.
Thanks.
Well, goodbye, sawbuck.
Might as well go crazy
with the rest of the world.
Oh, come on, come on.
Broadway Bill, number six,
on the schnozzola.
Who'd you bet on, Happy?
Gallant Lady, of course.
Me too.
Smart boy.
Which horse is going to win?
Will it be Gallant Lady,
the temperamental favorite,
Sun Up, the great money horse,
or will it be Broadway Bill?
Sit down.
A colt that's never raced
before and who threw his jockey
the last time out
and was literally laughed
off the track.
The wise ones say that
his owner, Dan Brooks,
has a screw loose somewhere
for entering him.
But we're going to keep
our eyes on Broadway Bill.
For some mysterious reason...
Sit down.
...this unknown horse has been
receiving terrific support.
Almost overnight...
Johnson!
...the odds went down
from 100-to-1 to 6-to-1.
Yes, sir?
Any whiskey in the house?
No, sir.
Get some.
Get some!
The horses are at the gate now
and ready for the bell.
And what excitement.
Sit still on Gallant Lady there.
Keep your eyes open, boys.
Anything's liable
to happen in this race.
Don't you forget
to break fast, Bill.
There they go.
He's in the vanguard.
Broadway Bill takes
the lead by two lengths...
...by a head, and Gotham Kid...
At the clubhouse turn,
Broadway Bill is in the lead
by four lengths. Gallant Lady
is second by one length.
Great Arab is third
by two lengths, and Sun Up...
Quit pulling that horse.
Quit pulling him.
...by one length,
and now dropping back,
as Gallant Lady takes
the lead by one length.
Gotham Kid is second...
Give him his head,
you little thief. Let him go.
Bill.
Make way, or
I'll throw you over the fence.
Nuts to you.
We got a chance now.
Come on. What are you trying
to do? Let go of that bit.
Oh, he's got his tongue
over the bit now.
He can't stop you, Bill.
He can't stop you, Bill.
Let go of that bit.
Go, go, Bill. Go!
It's Gallant Lady and Sun Up...
Head for home, Bill.
Go, boy.
And here comes Broadway Bill,
moving between horses.
Look at this horse go.
Come on, Broadway Bill.
Come on, Broadway Bill!
Friend to the downtrodden!
Come on, Broadway--
Come on!
Bill. Bill. Come on. Eeek!
Come on, Broadway Bill.
Come on, Broadway Bill!
Yes, Broadway Bill! Come on.
Come on. Come on, Broadway Bill.
They're coming into the stretch.
It's Gallant Lady, Sun Up
and Broadway Bill, head
and head, all three together.
Come on, Bill.
Come on! Come on.
Stay back there, will you!
Stay back, you rat.
He's got the bit.
I can't hold him, you nit.
Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill.
It's Gallant Lady
and Broadway Bill.
Sun Up is dropping back.
Come on. Come on, Bill. Come on.
It's Gallant Lady
and Broadway Bill.
It's Broadway Bill
and Gallant Lady.
They're coming down
to the line of finish,
and Broadway Bill wins it!
He did it. He did it.
Oh-ho, he did it!
Yah!
Oh-ho, he did it.
He did it.
Bill.
Bill.
...back off that track,
will you, please.
Now, don't get excited.
And keep back.
Everybody keep back.
Officers, see that everybody
keeps off that track.
You know how dangerous it is.
Horses will be
getting back any minute.
Fellows, can I get through?
Let me through, will you.
Who are you?
This is my horse, fellows.
Officers,
keep those people back.
Keep off the track,
will you, please.
Mr. Brooks.
Back it up, people. All right...
Let me through. Gangway.
How's the boy?
The boy's okay.
Are you a doc?
Yes, sir.
Are you a veterinary?
Yes, sir.
The race was over.
He won and then he dropped.
Too much for him.
Burst his heart.
He was dead, you might say,
when he hit the dirt.
Too bad.
A great horse.
Bill.
Bill.
Will you hold it
for a shot, Mr. Brooks, please?
Officer,
get those men out of there.
These old eyes have seen
some great horses, but--
Tough break, kid.
Come on, get back,
will you, please.
Everybody,
give us a little room here.
Off the track, everybody.
We're all grateful
to Mr. Brooks
for permitting us to lay
Broadway Bill to rest here
at the scene of his victory.
What he did yesterday afternoon
was to teach us all the true
meaning of courage and loyalty.
Broadway Bill only ran one race,
but he ran it well.
For he not only overcame
the speed of his brother horses,
but he had to overcome
the greed in us human beings.
We should all feel humble
and a little ashamed
that a horse
should teach us such a lesson
in honesty.
If we profit by such an example,
then racing will be something
more than a sport,
and Broadway Bill
will never be forgotten.
Mr. Brooks.
Well, I guess
I'll be saying goodbye, Dan.
You'll be going back home
to Higginsville, huh?
Uh-huh.
But not you. You won't.
No.
I'll be on my way, I guess.
Good luck.
Princess, you've been swell.
You've helped me over a--
Thanks, Dan.
Oh, there's Dad.
Dan.
J.L.
Margaret come with you?
No, she didn't.
You see, Margaret
sort of counted on
your coming back
to Higginsville,
now that Broadway Bill...
Yeah.
I guess she figured
this would be the break.
I'm not going back
to Higginsville, J.L.
I-- I don't know.
Nothing matters much anymore.
Just take care
of the princess, huh?
That's my decision,
and it's final.
But, Father,
what's come over you?
You can't sell
the paper-box factory.
We've only been married
for two months.
It isn't fair to Bertie.
Yeah.
Bertie.
And I'm selling the ironworks,
the lampshade plant
and next and last, the bank.
No, no, not the bank.
No, not the bank.
The bank?
Well, what will become of us?
You?
You'll have to go to work.
- It's Dan.
- Princess.
Hey,
it's Mr. Brooks, sir.
"Release the princess
from the dark tower," he says.
Oh.
Well, go on. Go on.
Don't be an idiot
like your sister.
Princess!
Looking for someone?
Not anymore, I'm not.
Look, Broadway Bill II
and the Princess.
Oh, Dan.
Come on, we're off
to Santa Anita.
Get aboard, here we go.
Remember Whitey?
Hi, Whitey. Hi, Skeeter.
Hi there.
Goodbye, Dad.
Goodbye, Johnson.
* All the
millionaire's money *
Oh, I'm so glad you came back.
* Wouldn't build
a better abode *
* Than that someplace *
Hey! Wait for me!