Riders on the Storm (2020) - full transcript
On a dark one lane road, miles from nowhere. A lonely traveler picks up a hitchhiker and drives off into the night. As they put miles behind them, a dark story reveals itself, and a ...
♪♪♪
(FOOTSTEPS, A RADIO PLAYING A SONG)
♪♪♪
[ rolling thunder ]
♪♪♪
[ a song plays on the car radio ] ♪♪♪
[ rolling thunder ]
[ a song plays on the car radio ] ♪♪♪
[ car horn ]
[ a song plays on the car radio ] ♪♪♪
WHAT THE!
[ footsteps ]
[ knocking on window ]
♪♪♪
HELL OF A NIGHT TO BE OUT ON THE OPEN ROAD.
HE HE, ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF,
ALDOUS LENNON BALFOUR.
ALDOUS LENNON BALFOUR
THAT'S UH,
QUITE A NAME.
INDEED IT IS,
ALDOUS WAS MY GREAT GREAT GRANDDADDY.
A SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN AND A DECORATED CONFEDERATE GENERAL.
LENNON BEING JOHN LENNON,
AND BALFOUR WAS MY MOMMA'S MAIDEN NAME.
AS A CHILD, I OFTEN IMAGINED MY MOMMA AND MISTER JOHN LENNON BETROTHED,
AND THE REASON FOR HIS ABSENCE, WAS, HE WAS ALWAYS ON THE ROAD.
BUT IN ALL PROBABILITY,
SHE GOT AROUND.
SHE NEVER DID APPEASE MY EXUBERANT CURIOSITY,
REGARDING THE IDENTITY OF WHO'S PROGENY I'D GROWN TO BECOME.
SO UH,
WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DO, MISTER BALFOUR?
WELL,
I SUSPECT THE MORE INTERESTING QUESTION IS,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING PICKING UP A STRANGER,
IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE?
BAH! HAHAHA
WOOOOO HAHAHA
OH, I'M JUST TWISTING YOUR AREOLA’S.
I AM A MAN OF MANY TALENTS.
I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE FROM A
A GRAVEDIGGER TO A,
DOOR TO DOOR SALESMAN,
SOME EVEN FANCY ME A DOCTOR.
I GUESS THE TRUNCATED MOTIS OPERANDUS IS,
I GET BY.
♪♪♪
ARE YOU GONNA RECIPROCATE?
HUH? UM,
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN ON SUCH A OPPRESSIVELY PRECIPITOUS AND DARE I SAY GLOOMY NIGHT?
NOTHIN MUCH, JUST UH,
ON MY WAY TO VISIT FAMILY.
AW FAMILY, HOW SWEET THE SOUND.
FAMILY
♪♪♪
SO UH, HOW BOUT YOU? WHERE YOU OFF TO? WHERE YOU HEADED?
HEH, WELL,
I'M JUST A POOR WAYFARING STRANGER,
TRAVELING THIS DARK ROAD ALONE.
IT IS A DARK ROAD BUT,
NEITHER OF US,
IS ALONE.
♪♪♪
[ a song tunes in on the radio ]
♪♪♪
PARDON THE INTRUSION BUT,
JUDGING BY THE SCARCITY OF YOUR TRAVELING ACCOUTERMENTS,
I'D SAY YOU LEFT IN A HURRY.
THOSE BLOODSHOT EYES AND THAT ANGRY DING ON YOU BROW,
THEY INDICATE THAT YOU SIR, HAVE BEEN AT BLOWS.
SHOULD I HAZARD A GUESS?
HAS MARITAL BLISS GONE SOUTH OF HEAVEN?
IF I WAS GONNA GUESS AGAIN, I'D SAY,
WHAT ARE YOU RUNNING FROM?
ENOUGH!
ENOUGH!
ALRIGHT I
I DON'T FEEL THE NEED TO DISCUSS MY PERSONAL LIFE,
WITH A FUCKING HITCHER!
GOTTA BE SOMETHING ON THIS GODDAMN STEREO.
[ radio static ]
[ road sounds, wind and rain ]
THAT'S IT.
HA HA THAT'S IT!
I'M JUST A POOR WAYFARING STRANGER,
TRAVELIN THROUGH, THIS WORLD BELOW.
AND I KNOW DARK CLOUDS, WILL GATHER ROUND ME
AND I KNOW MY WAY, IS ROUGH AND STEEP.
AND THE BEAUTIFUL FIELDS THAT RISE BEFORE ME,
AND MY NEEDS ARE ROUGH AND STEEP.
HE HE HE,
I KNEW IT,
POOR WAYFARING STRANGER.
THAT WAS MY MOMMA'S FAVORITE SONG.
♪♪♪
IN AN EFFORT TO ALLEVIATE THE WEIGHT OF THIS OPPRESSIVE SILENCE,
ALLOW ME TO ENTERTAIN YOU WITH A POEM.
A MAN OF WORDS AND NOT OF DEEDS,
IS LIKE A GARDEN FULL OF WEEDS.
AND WHEN THE WEEDS BEGIN TO GROW,
IT'S LIKE A GARDEN FULL OF SNOW.
AND WHEN THE SNOW BEGINS TO FALL,
WELL, IT'S LIKE A BIRD UPON A WALL.
AND WHEN THE BIRD AWAY DOES FLY,
IT'S LIKE AN EAGLE IN THE SKY.
AND WHEN THE SKY BEGINS TO ROAR,
IT'S LIKE A LION AT YOUR DOOR.
AND WHEN YOUR DOOR BEGINS TO CRACK,
IT'S LIKE A STICK ACROSS YOUR BACK.
AND WHEN YOUR BACK BEGINS TO SMART,
IT'S LIKE A PIN KNIFE IN YOUR HEART.
AND WHEN YOUR HEART BEGINS TO BLEED,
YOUR DEAD AND DEAD,
AND DEAD INDEED.
HEH!
THAT'S DARK,
THAT'S REALLY DARK MAN,
YOU UH,
GOT ANYTHING A LITTLE LIGHTER?
A CROOKED AND FORBODING SIGH CROSSED HIS LIPS.
A STRANGER BEAT A SOAKED FIST ACROSS A COARSE WOODEN BEAM.
AN OLD FARMER WELCOMED HIM IN.
AND HE FED THE TIRED WANDERER, WARM COFFEE AND COLD GRITS FROM HIS BEST TINS.
AND THEY SAT BY THE FIRE AND THE STRANGER BEGAN.
HIS WAS A TALE OF WOE,
AND BLOODYMINDED VIOLENCE.
I,
SAID THE STRANGER.
AM A BLIGHT ON THE WHOLE OF THIS CURSED EARTH.
I'M A MURDERER OF WOMEN AND CHILDREN,
OF THIS YOU CAN BE SURE.
AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I'M TOLD.
I ARRIVED HOME ONE NIGHT, TO FIND MY WEDDED BLISS TORN ASUNDER,
BY A GRIM AND ALBEIT MESSY SCENE.
AND I ASSURE YOU,
I HAVE NO RECOLLECTION,
OF THE EVENTS THAT PAINTED MY LIFE A THIN VERMILLION HUE.
NOW, UNDAUNTED BY THE MOROSE TONE OF THE STORY.
THE OLD FARMER INQUIRED.
WELL,
IF YOU HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF THE EVENTS THEN,
SURELY YOU ARE NOT GUILTY.
NO!
SAID THE STRANGER.
I WAS THERE,
I SAW THE LIFE VANISH.
FIRST,
FROM MY YOUNGEST,
ALL THE WAY,
TO MY ELDEST.
AND THE STRANGE THING WAS,
IT'S AS IF I WAS WATCHING FROM BEHIND MY OWN EYES,
SAID THE STRANGER.
IS THIS A TALE?
OR IS IT A REAL STORY?
THEY'RE ALL TALES AND STORIES!
EVERYTHING DERIVES FROM SOMETHING, DOES IT NOT?
ARE YOU NOT MADE OF ITTY BITTY SPECKS,
THAT BEGAN THERE LIFE IN THE HEART OF A DYING SUN,
A LONG WAY OFF?!
HUH?
NOW GRANTED, THE STRANGER WAS TIRED FROM BEING ON THE ROAD,
BUT STILL HE PRESSED ON.
AND HE TOLD THE OLD FARMER OF HIS
PRETTY LITTLE LIFE,
AND HIS PRETTY LITTLE WIFE,
SARAH.
YES, IN A TOWN BY THE SEA,
HIS PRETTY LITTLE DAUGHTERS, ONE, TWO, THREE.
AND THEN A THICK CLOUD,
A WICKED WIND MOANED,
A VALE, A CANCER,
CREEPED INTO OUR LOVELY HOME.
I THINK,
I'D RATHER HEAR ABOUT THE PERFECT MAN,
AND THE PERFECT LIFE AND THE PERFECT TOWN, OK, THAT SOUNDS NICE!
LETS TRY THAT OUT OK! HUH?
♪♪♪
NOTHIN IS PERFECT.
WOOO! WHAT THE HELL!
THERE WAS A COYOTE IN THE ROAD.
THERE WAS NOT A FUCKING COYOTE IN THE ROAD.
YES THERE WAS.
THERE WAS NOT A COYOTE IN THE ROAD.
YES THERE WAS.
APPARENTLY YOU WERE DISTRACTED.
WOOO,
I GUESS MY,
LEGENDARY SKILL A STORY TELLIN,
HAD YOU ENRAPTURED.
YOU REALLY DIDN'T SEE THAT WILEY COYOTE SKITTER ACROSS THE ROAD?
I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING,
ALRIGHT, IF YOU TOUCH THIS WHEEL AGAIN,
OR ANYTHING ELSE IN THE CAR, I'M GONNA DROP YOUR ASS OFF, YOU GOT IT!?
YOU GOT IT?
EASY THERE COWBOY, I HEAR YA.
THERE'S NO NEED FOR SUCH EXTREME MEASURES.
HELL, I WAS JUST TRYIN TO SAVE OUR COLLECTIVE KESTERS,
FROM A COYOTE CALAMITY, AWOOOO.
HAHAHAHAHA
FUCK
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
♪♪♪
NOW, THE STRANGER,
BEING A DOCTOR,
IN A PARTICULARLY SMALL TOWN.
WELL, HE WAS REQUIRED TO MAKE HOUSE CALLS,
AND THEREFORE, WAS FREQUENTLY ABSENT FROM HOME.
AND ONE DARK AND STORMY NIGHT,
VERY SIMILAR TO THIS,
HE WAS CALLED AWAY.
AND WHILE HE WAS AWAY,
A SHADOW APPEARED ON HIS DOORSTEP.
WHAT IS THIS STORY?
HUH?
IS IT ABOUT YOU?
IT IS,
AND IT ISN’T.
SO I IMPLORE, BEND YOUR EAR AND LISTEN FOR A WHILE WITH SOME DEGREE OF CONTEMPLATION,
FOR, WHAT I'M IMPARTING IS,
IS OF A DELIGHTFULLY GRAVE NATURE,
AND A LITTLE BIT OF TRUTH.
SO I IMPLORE,
DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?
HUH?
HMM?
HE OH YEAH,
I'M LISTENING.
THIS IS OF,
GRAVE AND SERIOUS NATURE.
I'M LISTENING, YOU JUST KEEP ON TALKIN,
I'M LISTENING.
JUST KEEP ON TALKIN.
♪♪♪
SHE A PRETTY GIRL?
HUH?
WHAT?
THAT THERE LOVE TAP.
SHE A LOOKER?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN ABOUT?
THE CREATURE THAT GAVE THAT TO YOU?
HEHEHEHE
HEHERHEHE
THE WOODS ARE LOVELY DARK AND DEEP,
AND YOU HAVE SECRETS THAT YOU KEEP,
AND WE HAVE MILES TO GO BEFORE WE SLEEP,
DO TELL, DO TELL.
WHAT’S TO TELL...
I HAD A,
FALLING OUT WITH,
SOMEONE.
AND NOW I'M HERE,
ON THE ROAD.
LOVE, YOU DARE NOT SPEAK ITS NAME.
FOR FEAR IT'LL RISE UP FROM THE ASHES,
AND PLUCK YOUR BLEEDING HEART FROM ITS STILL RUDDY CORPSE.
HEHEHEHE
I DO ENTERTAIN MYSELF.
SO,
WHAT WAS IT?
WAS IT A,
LITTLE DITTLE?
A SALACIOUS FELLATIO?
HOW BOUT A BOTCHED BUGERY?
HEHEHEHE
WAS IT HER?
OR THE OTHERS?
ENOUGH!
WO WO, HASTY ALRIGHT LISTEN LISTEN,
PLEASE EXCUSE MY EXUBERANT VERBOSITY.
I'M A NATURALLY CURIOUS PERSON,
A TELLER OF TALES.
I IMPLORE, DO NOT DISCARD ME ON ACOUNT OF MY,
MY OVERLY WITTY NATURE.
I HAVE, I HAVE OTHER STORIES.
MY MORTAL ENEMY WAS A CHICKEN.
NO MORE STORIES.
ENOUGH
ENOUGH
♪♪♪
DID YOU SAY,
A CHICKEN?
HEHEHE
OH, MAKE NO MISTAKE!
HE WAS A VORACIOUS AND FORMIDABLE FOE.
YOU SEE, AS A CHILD,
EVERY MORNING, WHEN I STEPPED OUT MY FRONT DOOR,
THAT ABOMINABLE AVIATOR WAS LURKIN IN WAIT.
HE WOULD GIVE CHASE,
JUMPIN, CLAWIN
SCRATCHING MY BACKSIDE, TILL BLOOD,
IT DRIPPED DOWN MY GARMENTS.
AND THIS WENT ON FOR QUITE SOME TIME.
UNTIL ONE DAY,
THE GENERAL,
HE MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARED.
WO WO WAIT,
DID YOU SAY,
A CHICKEN?
NAMED GENERAL?
NATURALLY,
AN INQUIRY CAM TO OUR DOOR, REGARDING THE DISAPPEARANCE OF THAT,
ILL-TEMPERED RAPTOR.
MY MOMMA, SHE UH,
SHE HESITANTLY CHOSE TO BELIEVE ME.
BUT I SAW THE TRUTH IN HER EYES.
SHE SAW SOMETHING IN ME I DIDN'T SEE.
I WEAVED UP A COLORFUL TALE OF HOW
HEART BROKEN I WAS OVER THE MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE
OF THAT,
HORRIBLE CREATURE THAT HAD HAUNTED MY DREAMS FOR SO LONG.
SO WAIT, HOW DOES THE STORY END?
UH, YOU AND YOUR MOTHER HAVING FRIED CHICKEN?
IN TRUTH?
NO
MY MOMMA,
REST HER SOUL.
SHE FOUND THAT RETCHED ROOSTER,
TORN TO PIECES,
OUT BACK,
IN THE TALL GRASS.
THAT THERE AFTER,
I'D CATCH HER WATCHING ME.
LOOKING AT ME IN THOUGHT AS IF,
TRYIN TO GLEAN SOME GRAIN OF KNOWLEDGE FROM MY,
MANNERISMS.
WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST LET THE STORY END WITH,
TERRORIZED BY A CHICKEN?
HUH?
CAUSE, IT WASN'T A MONTHS POST,
IN THE DEAD OF WINTER.
THE SHERIFF CAME BY WITH THE,
THE COUNTY SOCIAL WORKER.
THEY SAT ME DOWN,
AND THEY,
THEY TOLD ME THAT THEY FOUND MY MOMMAS CAR UP ON A LOGGING ROAD.
AND THAT APPARENTLY,
SHE HAD DRIVEN HER CAR,
AS FAR AS IT COULD GO,
UP INTO THE DEEP SNOW,
TILL THE CAR WOULDN'T GO NO MORE.
AND THEN SHE OPENED THE DOOR,
AND SHE STEPPED OUTSIDE,
AND SHE WALKED INTO THE SNOW,
AND THAT IS WHERE THEY FOUND HER FROZEN CORPSE.
WE HAD A FIGHT,
MY MY WIFE,
SARAH, WE,
WE HAD A FIGHT AND,
THATS HOW I GOT THIS,
THIS, THIS BRUISE.
WHY?
WHY WHAT?
WHY'D YOU STAY?
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU STAYED CUZ YOU WERE COMPELLED TO.
YOU DIDN'T WANNA BE ABANDONED AGAIN,
FACE YOUR DEMONS ALONE.
EVEN THOUGH YOU DIDN'T WANNA BE THERE,
WITH HER.
YOU STAYED TILL YOU COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE,
UNTILL THERE WAS NO ESCAPING DOIN WHAT YOU DID.
NO NO, IT WASN'T AN ESCAPE,
IT WASN'T AS ABSOLUTE OR EASY AS THAT.
SURE IT WAS, SURE IT WAS.
NO NO NO,
YOU COULDN'T JUST UP AND LEAVE HER,
CUZ SHE'D FALL APART.
SO YOU WAITED,
AND WAITED, AND WAITED,
UNTIL SHE WENT CRAZY ON YOU,
AND THAT'S WHEN YOU DID IT,
THAT'S WHEN YOU DID IT.
AND HERE YOU ARE,
DRIVIN AWAY.
YOU WERE RIGHT THOUGH,
WHO COULD BLAME YOU,
DOIN WHAT YOU DID.
OH THERE'S MORE ISN'T THERE?
THERE'S ALWAYS MORE...
♪♪♪
DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU WERE A DOCTOR?
NAH
YEAH, I THINK YOU DID,
YOU SAID YOU WERE A DOCTOR.
DID I SAY THAT?
YEAH
NO
I THINK YOU DID, YEAH.
I'M NOT A DOCTOR.
YOU DID, YOU SAID,
YOU HAD A FAMILY.
THEIR DEAD!
THEIR ALL DEAD...
BUT LETS BE HONEST,
JEFF.
WE BOTH KNEW THAT.
HEHEHEHE
[ police siren ]
OHHHH,
LOOKS LIKE THE CALVARY’S HERE.
WHAT THE HELL, WHERE'D THEY COME FROM?
EVENIN
EVENIN
DAMN SHITTY WEATHER FOR BEING OUT HERE ALL ALONE...
UH SIR?
SIR?
HEY BUDDY?
HUH?
YOU ALRIGHT?
YEAH UM,
EVERY THINGS FINE.
DRIVERS LICENSE PLEASE?
IS THERE LIKE A UM,
TAIL LIGHT OUT OR SOMETHIN?
YOU JUST SIT TIGHT, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
♪♪♪
SIR?
HUH?
WHAT RELATION ARE YOU TO,
SARAH M LAMBERT?
HUH?
LAMBERT, SARAH,
THE PERSON WHO'S NAME THIS,
THIS VEHICLE'S REGISTERED TO.
I... I....
♪♪♪
STEP OUT OF THE VEHICLE PLEASE!
HUH SIR, WOULD YOU STEP OUT OF THE CAR PLEASE?
SIR?
I NEED YOU TO STEP OUT OF THE CAR?
SIR?
SIR?
EXACTLY WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GONNA HAPPEN HERE TONIGHT SIR?
LOOK,
MY BACK FEELS LIKE CRAP.
IF I HAVE TO REACH IN THERE AND DRAG YOU OUT OF THIS GODDAMN WINDOW,
I'M TELLIN YA!
EH!
[ a car door opens ]
UGH..... COME ON!
OH!
AH HAHA
HAHAHAHA
OH!
YEAH!
WOOO!
HERE WE GO!
OH MY GOD!
[ sound of handcuffs ]
MWAH!
[ a car door closes ]
WOO HOOO
WOOO!
HEHEHE
YOU LOOK A LITTLE FLUSHED!
WOOOOO
OH!
ROT GUT! HEHEHE
THIS PIGGY LIKES HIS CORN-MASH,
STRAIGHT OFF THE COBB!
HEHEHE
OH!
WELL?
YOU CAN THANK ME LATER!
TURN THE KEY,
AND DRIVE.
OH HUH
♪♪♪
OH HEHEHE MMMM
WELL,
HE'S OUT COLD.
♪♪♪
WHAT'D YOU HAVE ME DO JEFF, HUH?
WHAT?
IT WAS,
IT WAS YOUR WIFE.
THE ONE YOU SPOKE OF.
IT WAS YOUR WIFE,
AND YOU KILLED HER!
MMMM IT COULD A BEEN.
COULDA BEEN JUST A STORY.
A FIGMENT OF OUR IMAGINATION.
ME,
YOU,
PIGGY BACK THERE.
WHO KNOWS.
WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME SAY HUH?
[ whistling ]
HEHEHEHE
♪♪♪
LOOK JEFF,
I DON'T LIKE THIS ANYMORE THAN YOU DO.
WELL,
THAT'S NOT TRUE BUT,
IT HAD TO BE DONE.
AND TO,
TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION,
THEIR ALL DEAD.
HILDA,
HADDIE,
HOLLY,
THE VULTURE,
THE SERPENT,
THE SPLINTER,
I SAW,
DARK SHADOWS CAST MY PRETTY GIRLS.
AND THERE THEY LIE,
SO MUTILATED, THEY WERE HARDLY RECOGNIZABLE.
AND DO YOU THINK IT WAS ME?
HUH?
THESE DIRTY DEEDS, THAT OUR SOULS BLEED!
AND THEN I SEE MY WIFE,
SCREAMING STOP, STOP!
EXACTLY!
STOP, STOP, DO NOT CONTINUE.
IS IT COMING TO YOU?
ON THE WALLS!
DO NOT CONTINUE!
WRITTEN IN THE VICTIMS BLOOD,
WE ARE ONE!
WOOOO!
DOES THAT MAKE SENSE!?
NO NO NO
♪♪♪
[ rolling thunder ]
UH HEY,
UH
JEFF,
JEFF,
HEY, HOW BOUT UH,
HOW BOUT WE JUST CALL IT EVEN HUH?
YEAH, YOU LET ME OFF AT THE ROADSIDE N,
AND JUST DONE WITH IT, HMM?
♪♪♪
I WOULD HIGHLY
RECOMMEND YOU NOT DOING THAT.
HUH!
♪♪♪
FUCK YOU, YA OLD FUCKER!
STOP, MAKE IT STOP!
[ gun shot ]
[ loud ringing in they're ears ]
DRIVE!
I'M DRIVING, I'M FUCKING DRIVING!
♪♪♪
WOOO
MMMM
SO,
LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
WHEN YOU PUT YOUR
HANDS ACROSS SARAH BARE'S THROAT,
DID SHE SCREAM?
HUH?
SHE SHE SHE,
SHE'S FUCKING DEAD, THAT'S WHAT SHE IS!
NO!
AND YOU DID IT!
COME ON ADMIT IT!
I DIDN'T DO IT,
YES YOU DID!
JEFF,
YES YOU DID!
JEFF
♪♪♪
HEY,
JEFF, JEFF THESE ARE WINDY ROADS,
COME ON YOU GOTTA SLOW DOWN.
OH SHUT UP OLD MAN!
STOP, JUST FUCKING STOP!
SLOW DOWN!
STOP!
♪♪♪
JEFF
COME ON NOW, SLOW DOWN, YOU'RE GONNA KILL ALL OF US.
HEY, IF YOU DIE,
WE ALL DIE!
SHHHHHH...
YOU FUCKING KILLED HER, ADMIT IT!
AD-FUCKING-MIT IT!
YOU DID IT!
YES YOU DID!
I DIDN'T FUCKING MEAN TO!
WOOOO!
YEAH! THERE WE GO BOY!
MMWA!
THERE
WE
GO
OH...
DRY THOSE TEARS HUH?
[ rear door opens ]
HE HE,
OH, FUCK YOU, YA OLD FUCKER!
FUUUCK! AH!
[ door ajar ding, drones on ]
[ a single gun shot ]
(DOOR AJAR DING, DRONES ON)
UH, IN THERE, UH EH HUH...
OOOOOH
DRIVE!
PLEASE DRIVE.
[ car starts ]
HE HE
WHEW!
HE HE HE HE
WHEW... STILL HOT
WELL HUH...
THAT WAS ENTERTAINING! HE HE HE
JEFF
YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY, YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH, YOU THINK THIS IS FUCKING FUNNY!
YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH.
♪♪♪ [ music drowns out their arguing ]
JEFF!
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW JEFF, HMM?
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW?
HEY
HEY
HEY, AM I AM I TALKING TO JEFF?
OR UH...
YOUR PASSENGER.
HE HE HE
OK
UH JEFF LOOK,
I CAN TELL YOUR A PRETTY GOOD GUY,
YOU JUST UH,
GOT YOURSELF INTO SOMETHING,
THAT'S OUT OF CONTROL.
HEY JEFF,
I'M NOT DOIN TO GOOD BACK HERE.
LOOK UH,
UP THE ROAD A WAYS, THERE'S A
A FARM HOUSE.
INSIDE,
IS MY WIFE.
AND JEFF,
SHE SHE NEEDS ME TO COME HOME TO HER.
CAN YOU,
IMAGINE,
WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ALL ALONE?
SHE NEEDS ME TO COME HOME JEFF.
HE'S RIGHT JEFF,
SHE NEEDS HIM TO COME HOME.
I MEAN,
SHE'S ALL HE HAS.
SHE NEEDS HIM.
SHE NEEDS US.
NOW DOESN'T THAT SOUND NICE.
CURLIN UP BY A FIRE,
HAVIN SOME WARM COFFEE AND SOME COLD GRITS?
AND I COULD JUST,
TELL YOU A LOT MORE STORIES.
STORIES STORIES STORIES, I'M SO TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING STORIES! YOUR BLOODY FUCKING STORIES!
JEFF,
YOU UNDERSTAND THOUGH,
MY STORIES ARE REAL.
JEFF,
HEY JEFF, JEFF
JEFF LOOK AT ME.
HEY,
YOU KNOW THIS,
THIS,
THIS CAN STOP,
THIS CAN STOP BEING BAD RIGHT NOW.
HUH?
I'M IN CONTROL.
YOUR IN CONTROL JEFF.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THERE YOU GO.
I'M IN CONTROL.
YOU'RE IN CONTROL.
I'M IN CONTROL.
I'M IN CONTROL.
I'M IN CONTROL.
I'M IN CONTROL.
I'M IN CONTROL.
I'M IN CONTROL!
YOU MOTHERFUCKER!
[ gun fire, loud ringing sound ]
DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?
DO YOU NOT GET IT?
I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE!
SO,
IN THE WORDS A GOD!
STOP, FUCKIN, IGNORING ME,
AND DRIVE.
♪♪♪
UH JEFF,
♪♪♪
UH JEFF,
ONE MORE TIME OLD MAN.
JEFF,
I AM NOT JEFF!
I AM ALDOUS, MOTHERFUCKIN BALFOUR!
I GOT IT, I GOT IT, YEAH,
ALDOUS.
OH I SEE.
IT'S ALDOUS.
I HAVE A WIFE THAT I LOVE VERY MUCH ALDOUS.
36 YEARS,
SARAH.
OH MY PRETTY GIRL,
SARAH.
I LOVED YOU.
HUH, I NEVER SAID THAT ENOUGH.
SARAH
WELL, I THOUGHT THAT OLD FUCKER'D NEVER SHUT UP.
♪♪♪
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO.
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO.
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO.
IT'S A CYCLE JEFF,
IT'S ALWAYS A CYCLE.
IT STARTED A LONG WAY BACK,
AND NOW IT'S YOUR TURN.
YOU'RE NEVER GETTING RID OF IT JEFF, BUT AT LEAST YOU GOT ME RIGHT?
YOU ALWAYS GOT ME.
HA HA HA
I AIN’T GOING ANYWHERE, I ALREADY SAID THAT.
BUT THERE'S NOTHIN TO WORRY BOUT,
CUZ, FROM HERE ON OUT,
IT'S JUST YOU AND ME.
TWO PEAS IN A POD RIGHT?
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?
JUST LIKE YOUR DADDY,
NOTHIN LIKE MY FUCKIN DADDY.
OH YOUR NOTHING LIKE YOUR DADDY?
NOTHIN LIKE MY FUCKIN DADDY, HE'S NOT HERE RIGHT NOW.
HA HA HA HA
YOU STILL DENYIN,
YOU'RE STILL DENYIN.
I'M HERE JEFF,
I'M HERE TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH.
NOBODY'S FUCKING HERE,
NOBODY'S FUCKING HERE.
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!
DID YOU DO,
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO! I'LL FUCKIN KILL YOU!
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKIN HEAD!
[ loud crash ]
[ car horn and crickets in the background ]
HEY MISTER!
YOU OK?
UH
I,
I SAW YOUR CAR IN THE DITCH BACK THERE.
UH MISTER?
UH,
YOU OK?
MISTER?
♪♪♪
OH HONEY!
YOU'RE MORE BATTERED THAN A STACK A PANCAKES.
HUH,
WELL,
I'M GLAD I DIDN'T LEAVE YA OUT THERE TO TEASE THE COYOTES.
♪♪♪
IT'S A HELL OF A NIGHT TO BE, OUT ON THE ROAD ALONE.
♪♪♪
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
♪♪♪
(FOOTSTEPS, A RADIO PLAYING A SONG)
♪♪♪
[ rolling thunder ]
♪♪♪
[ a song plays on the car radio ] ♪♪♪
[ rolling thunder ]
[ a song plays on the car radio ] ♪♪♪
[ car horn ]
[ a song plays on the car radio ] ♪♪♪
WHAT THE!
[ footsteps ]
[ knocking on window ]
♪♪♪
HELL OF A NIGHT TO BE OUT ON THE OPEN ROAD.
HE HE, ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF,
ALDOUS LENNON BALFOUR.
ALDOUS LENNON BALFOUR
THAT'S UH,
QUITE A NAME.
INDEED IT IS,
ALDOUS WAS MY GREAT GREAT GRANDDADDY.
A SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN AND A DECORATED CONFEDERATE GENERAL.
LENNON BEING JOHN LENNON,
AND BALFOUR WAS MY MOMMA'S MAIDEN NAME.
AS A CHILD, I OFTEN IMAGINED MY MOMMA AND MISTER JOHN LENNON BETROTHED,
AND THE REASON FOR HIS ABSENCE, WAS, HE WAS ALWAYS ON THE ROAD.
BUT IN ALL PROBABILITY,
SHE GOT AROUND.
SHE NEVER DID APPEASE MY EXUBERANT CURIOSITY,
REGARDING THE IDENTITY OF WHO'S PROGENY I'D GROWN TO BECOME.
SO UH,
WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DO, MISTER BALFOUR?
WELL,
I SUSPECT THE MORE INTERESTING QUESTION IS,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING PICKING UP A STRANGER,
IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE?
BAH! HAHAHA
WOOOOO HAHAHA
OH, I'M JUST TWISTING YOUR AREOLA’S.
I AM A MAN OF MANY TALENTS.
I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE FROM A
A GRAVEDIGGER TO A,
DOOR TO DOOR SALESMAN,
SOME EVEN FANCY ME A DOCTOR.
I GUESS THE TRUNCATED MOTIS OPERANDUS IS,
I GET BY.
♪♪♪
ARE YOU GONNA RECIPROCATE?
HUH? UM,
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN ON SUCH A OPPRESSIVELY PRECIPITOUS AND DARE I SAY GLOOMY NIGHT?
NOTHIN MUCH, JUST UH,
ON MY WAY TO VISIT FAMILY.
AW FAMILY, HOW SWEET THE SOUND.
FAMILY
♪♪♪
SO UH, HOW BOUT YOU? WHERE YOU OFF TO? WHERE YOU HEADED?
HEH, WELL,
I'M JUST A POOR WAYFARING STRANGER,
TRAVELING THIS DARK ROAD ALONE.
IT IS A DARK ROAD BUT,
NEITHER OF US,
IS ALONE.
♪♪♪
[ a song tunes in on the radio ]
♪♪♪
PARDON THE INTRUSION BUT,
JUDGING BY THE SCARCITY OF YOUR TRAVELING ACCOUTERMENTS,
I'D SAY YOU LEFT IN A HURRY.
THOSE BLOODSHOT EYES AND THAT ANGRY DING ON YOU BROW,
THEY INDICATE THAT YOU SIR, HAVE BEEN AT BLOWS.
SHOULD I HAZARD A GUESS?
HAS MARITAL BLISS GONE SOUTH OF HEAVEN?
IF I WAS GONNA GUESS AGAIN, I'D SAY,
WHAT ARE YOU RUNNING FROM?
ENOUGH!
ENOUGH!
ALRIGHT I
I DON'T FEEL THE NEED TO DISCUSS MY PERSONAL LIFE,
WITH A FUCKING HITCHER!
GOTTA BE SOMETHING ON THIS GODDAMN STEREO.
[ radio static ]
[ road sounds, wind and rain ]
THAT'S IT.
HA HA THAT'S IT!
I'M JUST A POOR WAYFARING STRANGER,
TRAVELIN THROUGH, THIS WORLD BELOW.
AND I KNOW DARK CLOUDS, WILL GATHER ROUND ME
AND I KNOW MY WAY, IS ROUGH AND STEEP.
AND THE BEAUTIFUL FIELDS THAT RISE BEFORE ME,
AND MY NEEDS ARE ROUGH AND STEEP.
HE HE HE,
I KNEW IT,
POOR WAYFARING STRANGER.
THAT WAS MY MOMMA'S FAVORITE SONG.
♪♪♪
IN AN EFFORT TO ALLEVIATE THE WEIGHT OF THIS OPPRESSIVE SILENCE,
ALLOW ME TO ENTERTAIN YOU WITH A POEM.
A MAN OF WORDS AND NOT OF DEEDS,
IS LIKE A GARDEN FULL OF WEEDS.
AND WHEN THE WEEDS BEGIN TO GROW,
IT'S LIKE A GARDEN FULL OF SNOW.
AND WHEN THE SNOW BEGINS TO FALL,
WELL, IT'S LIKE A BIRD UPON A WALL.
AND WHEN THE BIRD AWAY DOES FLY,
IT'S LIKE AN EAGLE IN THE SKY.
AND WHEN THE SKY BEGINS TO ROAR,
IT'S LIKE A LION AT YOUR DOOR.
AND WHEN YOUR DOOR BEGINS TO CRACK,
IT'S LIKE A STICK ACROSS YOUR BACK.
AND WHEN YOUR BACK BEGINS TO SMART,
IT'S LIKE A PIN KNIFE IN YOUR HEART.
AND WHEN YOUR HEART BEGINS TO BLEED,
YOUR DEAD AND DEAD,
AND DEAD INDEED.
HEH!
THAT'S DARK,
THAT'S REALLY DARK MAN,
YOU UH,
GOT ANYTHING A LITTLE LIGHTER?
A CROOKED AND FORBODING SIGH CROSSED HIS LIPS.
A STRANGER BEAT A SOAKED FIST ACROSS A COARSE WOODEN BEAM.
AN OLD FARMER WELCOMED HIM IN.
AND HE FED THE TIRED WANDERER, WARM COFFEE AND COLD GRITS FROM HIS BEST TINS.
AND THEY SAT BY THE FIRE AND THE STRANGER BEGAN.
HIS WAS A TALE OF WOE,
AND BLOODYMINDED VIOLENCE.
I,
SAID THE STRANGER.
AM A BLIGHT ON THE WHOLE OF THIS CURSED EARTH.
I'M A MURDERER OF WOMEN AND CHILDREN,
OF THIS YOU CAN BE SURE.
AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I'M TOLD.
I ARRIVED HOME ONE NIGHT, TO FIND MY WEDDED BLISS TORN ASUNDER,
BY A GRIM AND ALBEIT MESSY SCENE.
AND I ASSURE YOU,
I HAVE NO RECOLLECTION,
OF THE EVENTS THAT PAINTED MY LIFE A THIN VERMILLION HUE.
NOW, UNDAUNTED BY THE MOROSE TONE OF THE STORY.
THE OLD FARMER INQUIRED.
WELL,
IF YOU HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF THE EVENTS THEN,
SURELY YOU ARE NOT GUILTY.
NO!
SAID THE STRANGER.
I WAS THERE,
I SAW THE LIFE VANISH.
FIRST,
FROM MY YOUNGEST,
ALL THE WAY,
TO MY ELDEST.
AND THE STRANGE THING WAS,
IT'S AS IF I WAS WATCHING FROM BEHIND MY OWN EYES,
SAID THE STRANGER.
IS THIS A TALE?
OR IS IT A REAL STORY?
THEY'RE ALL TALES AND STORIES!
EVERYTHING DERIVES FROM SOMETHING, DOES IT NOT?
ARE YOU NOT MADE OF ITTY BITTY SPECKS,
THAT BEGAN THERE LIFE IN THE HEART OF A DYING SUN,
A LONG WAY OFF?!
HUH?
NOW GRANTED, THE STRANGER WAS TIRED FROM BEING ON THE ROAD,
BUT STILL HE PRESSED ON.
AND HE TOLD THE OLD FARMER OF HIS
PRETTY LITTLE LIFE,
AND HIS PRETTY LITTLE WIFE,
SARAH.
YES, IN A TOWN BY THE SEA,
HIS PRETTY LITTLE DAUGHTERS, ONE, TWO, THREE.
AND THEN A THICK CLOUD,
A WICKED WIND MOANED,
A VALE, A CANCER,
CREEPED INTO OUR LOVELY HOME.
I THINK,
I'D RATHER HEAR ABOUT THE PERFECT MAN,
AND THE PERFECT LIFE AND THE PERFECT TOWN, OK, THAT SOUNDS NICE!
LETS TRY THAT OUT OK! HUH?
♪♪♪
NOTHIN IS PERFECT.
WOOO! WHAT THE HELL!
THERE WAS A COYOTE IN THE ROAD.
THERE WAS NOT A FUCKING COYOTE IN THE ROAD.
YES THERE WAS.
THERE WAS NOT A COYOTE IN THE ROAD.
YES THERE WAS.
APPARENTLY YOU WERE DISTRACTED.
WOOO,
I GUESS MY,
LEGENDARY SKILL A STORY TELLIN,
HAD YOU ENRAPTURED.
YOU REALLY DIDN'T SEE THAT WILEY COYOTE SKITTER ACROSS THE ROAD?
I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING,
ALRIGHT, IF YOU TOUCH THIS WHEEL AGAIN,
OR ANYTHING ELSE IN THE CAR, I'M GONNA DROP YOUR ASS OFF, YOU GOT IT!?
YOU GOT IT?
EASY THERE COWBOY, I HEAR YA.
THERE'S NO NEED FOR SUCH EXTREME MEASURES.
HELL, I WAS JUST TRYIN TO SAVE OUR COLLECTIVE KESTERS,
FROM A COYOTE CALAMITY, AWOOOO.
HAHAHAHAHA
FUCK
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
♪♪♪
NOW, THE STRANGER,
BEING A DOCTOR,
IN A PARTICULARLY SMALL TOWN.
WELL, HE WAS REQUIRED TO MAKE HOUSE CALLS,
AND THEREFORE, WAS FREQUENTLY ABSENT FROM HOME.
AND ONE DARK AND STORMY NIGHT,
VERY SIMILAR TO THIS,
HE WAS CALLED AWAY.
AND WHILE HE WAS AWAY,
A SHADOW APPEARED ON HIS DOORSTEP.
WHAT IS THIS STORY?
HUH?
IS IT ABOUT YOU?
IT IS,
AND IT ISN’T.
SO I IMPLORE, BEND YOUR EAR AND LISTEN FOR A WHILE WITH SOME DEGREE OF CONTEMPLATION,
FOR, WHAT I'M IMPARTING IS,
IS OF A DELIGHTFULLY GRAVE NATURE,
AND A LITTLE BIT OF TRUTH.
SO I IMPLORE,
DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?
HUH?
HMM?
HE OH YEAH,
I'M LISTENING.
THIS IS OF,
GRAVE AND SERIOUS NATURE.
I'M LISTENING, YOU JUST KEEP ON TALKIN,
I'M LISTENING.
JUST KEEP ON TALKIN.
♪♪♪
SHE A PRETTY GIRL?
HUH?
WHAT?
THAT THERE LOVE TAP.
SHE A LOOKER?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN ABOUT?
THE CREATURE THAT GAVE THAT TO YOU?
HEHEHEHE
HEHERHEHE
THE WOODS ARE LOVELY DARK AND DEEP,
AND YOU HAVE SECRETS THAT YOU KEEP,
AND WE HAVE MILES TO GO BEFORE WE SLEEP,
DO TELL, DO TELL.
WHAT’S TO TELL...
I HAD A,
FALLING OUT WITH,
SOMEONE.
AND NOW I'M HERE,
ON THE ROAD.
LOVE, YOU DARE NOT SPEAK ITS NAME.
FOR FEAR IT'LL RISE UP FROM THE ASHES,
AND PLUCK YOUR BLEEDING HEART FROM ITS STILL RUDDY CORPSE.
HEHEHEHE
I DO ENTERTAIN MYSELF.
SO,
WHAT WAS IT?
WAS IT A,
LITTLE DITTLE?
A SALACIOUS FELLATIO?
HOW BOUT A BOTCHED BUGERY?
HEHEHEHE
WAS IT HER?
OR THE OTHERS?
ENOUGH!
WO WO, HASTY ALRIGHT LISTEN LISTEN,
PLEASE EXCUSE MY EXUBERANT VERBOSITY.
I'M A NATURALLY CURIOUS PERSON,
A TELLER OF TALES.
I IMPLORE, DO NOT DISCARD ME ON ACOUNT OF MY,
MY OVERLY WITTY NATURE.
I HAVE, I HAVE OTHER STORIES.
MY MORTAL ENEMY WAS A CHICKEN.
NO MORE STORIES.
ENOUGH
ENOUGH
♪♪♪
DID YOU SAY,
A CHICKEN?
HEHEHE
OH, MAKE NO MISTAKE!
HE WAS A VORACIOUS AND FORMIDABLE FOE.
YOU SEE, AS A CHILD,
EVERY MORNING, WHEN I STEPPED OUT MY FRONT DOOR,
THAT ABOMINABLE AVIATOR WAS LURKIN IN WAIT.
HE WOULD GIVE CHASE,
JUMPIN, CLAWIN
SCRATCHING MY BACKSIDE, TILL BLOOD,
IT DRIPPED DOWN MY GARMENTS.
AND THIS WENT ON FOR QUITE SOME TIME.
UNTIL ONE DAY,
THE GENERAL,
HE MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARED.
WO WO WAIT,
DID YOU SAY,
A CHICKEN?
NAMED GENERAL?
NATURALLY,
AN INQUIRY CAM TO OUR DOOR, REGARDING THE DISAPPEARANCE OF THAT,
ILL-TEMPERED RAPTOR.
MY MOMMA, SHE UH,
SHE HESITANTLY CHOSE TO BELIEVE ME.
BUT I SAW THE TRUTH IN HER EYES.
SHE SAW SOMETHING IN ME I DIDN'T SEE.
I WEAVED UP A COLORFUL TALE OF HOW
HEART BROKEN I WAS OVER THE MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE
OF THAT,
HORRIBLE CREATURE THAT HAD HAUNTED MY DREAMS FOR SO LONG.
SO WAIT, HOW DOES THE STORY END?
UH, YOU AND YOUR MOTHER HAVING FRIED CHICKEN?
IN TRUTH?
NO
MY MOMMA,
REST HER SOUL.
SHE FOUND THAT RETCHED ROOSTER,
TORN TO PIECES,
OUT BACK,
IN THE TALL GRASS.
THAT THERE AFTER,
I'D CATCH HER WATCHING ME.
LOOKING AT ME IN THOUGHT AS IF,
TRYIN TO GLEAN SOME GRAIN OF KNOWLEDGE FROM MY,
MANNERISMS.
WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST LET THE STORY END WITH,
TERRORIZED BY A CHICKEN?
HUH?
CAUSE, IT WASN'T A MONTHS POST,
IN THE DEAD OF WINTER.
THE SHERIFF CAME BY WITH THE,
THE COUNTY SOCIAL WORKER.
THEY SAT ME DOWN,
AND THEY,
THEY TOLD ME THAT THEY FOUND MY MOMMAS CAR UP ON A LOGGING ROAD.
AND THAT APPARENTLY,
SHE HAD DRIVEN HER CAR,
AS FAR AS IT COULD GO,
UP INTO THE DEEP SNOW,
TILL THE CAR WOULDN'T GO NO MORE.
AND THEN SHE OPENED THE DOOR,
AND SHE STEPPED OUTSIDE,
AND SHE WALKED INTO THE SNOW,
AND THAT IS WHERE THEY FOUND HER FROZEN CORPSE.
WE HAD A FIGHT,
MY MY WIFE,
SARAH, WE,
WE HAD A FIGHT AND,
THATS HOW I GOT THIS,
THIS, THIS BRUISE.
WHY?
WHY WHAT?
WHY'D YOU STAY?
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU STAYED CUZ YOU WERE COMPELLED TO.
YOU DIDN'T WANNA BE ABANDONED AGAIN,
FACE YOUR DEMONS ALONE.
EVEN THOUGH YOU DIDN'T WANNA BE THERE,
WITH HER.
YOU STAYED TILL YOU COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE,
UNTILL THERE WAS NO ESCAPING DOIN WHAT YOU DID.
NO NO, IT WASN'T AN ESCAPE,
IT WASN'T AS ABSOLUTE OR EASY AS THAT.
SURE IT WAS, SURE IT WAS.
NO NO NO,
YOU COULDN'T JUST UP AND LEAVE HER,
CUZ SHE'D FALL APART.
SO YOU WAITED,
AND WAITED, AND WAITED,
UNTIL SHE WENT CRAZY ON YOU,
AND THAT'S WHEN YOU DID IT,
THAT'S WHEN YOU DID IT.
AND HERE YOU ARE,
DRIVIN AWAY.
YOU WERE RIGHT THOUGH,
WHO COULD BLAME YOU,
DOIN WHAT YOU DID.
OH THERE'S MORE ISN'T THERE?
THERE'S ALWAYS MORE...
♪♪♪
DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU WERE A DOCTOR?
NAH
YEAH, I THINK YOU DID,
YOU SAID YOU WERE A DOCTOR.
DID I SAY THAT?
YEAH
NO
I THINK YOU DID, YEAH.
I'M NOT A DOCTOR.
YOU DID, YOU SAID,
YOU HAD A FAMILY.
THEIR DEAD!
THEIR ALL DEAD...
BUT LETS BE HONEST,
JEFF.
WE BOTH KNEW THAT.
HEHEHEHE
[ police siren ]
OHHHH,
LOOKS LIKE THE CALVARY’S HERE.
WHAT THE HELL, WHERE'D THEY COME FROM?
EVENIN
EVENIN
DAMN SHITTY WEATHER FOR BEING OUT HERE ALL ALONE...
UH SIR?
SIR?
HEY BUDDY?
HUH?
YOU ALRIGHT?
YEAH UM,
EVERY THINGS FINE.
DRIVERS LICENSE PLEASE?
IS THERE LIKE A UM,
TAIL LIGHT OUT OR SOMETHIN?
YOU JUST SIT TIGHT, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
♪♪♪
SIR?
HUH?
WHAT RELATION ARE YOU TO,
SARAH M LAMBERT?
HUH?
LAMBERT, SARAH,
THE PERSON WHO'S NAME THIS,
THIS VEHICLE'S REGISTERED TO.
I... I....
♪♪♪
STEP OUT OF THE VEHICLE PLEASE!
HUH SIR, WOULD YOU STEP OUT OF THE CAR PLEASE?
SIR?
I NEED YOU TO STEP OUT OF THE CAR?
SIR?
SIR?
EXACTLY WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GONNA HAPPEN HERE TONIGHT SIR?
LOOK,
MY BACK FEELS LIKE CRAP.
IF I HAVE TO REACH IN THERE AND DRAG YOU OUT OF THIS GODDAMN WINDOW,
I'M TELLIN YA!
EH!
[ a car door opens ]
UGH..... COME ON!
OH!
AH HAHA
HAHAHAHA
OH!
YEAH!
WOOO!
HERE WE GO!
OH MY GOD!
[ sound of handcuffs ]
MWAH!
[ a car door closes ]
WOO HOOO
WOOO!
HEHEHE
YOU LOOK A LITTLE FLUSHED!
WOOOOO
OH!
ROT GUT! HEHEHE
THIS PIGGY LIKES HIS CORN-MASH,
STRAIGHT OFF THE COBB!
HEHEHE
OH!
WELL?
YOU CAN THANK ME LATER!
TURN THE KEY,
AND DRIVE.
OH HUH
♪♪♪
OH HEHEHE MMMM
WELL,
HE'S OUT COLD.
♪♪♪
WHAT'D YOU HAVE ME DO JEFF, HUH?
WHAT?
IT WAS,
IT WAS YOUR WIFE.
THE ONE YOU SPOKE OF.
IT WAS YOUR WIFE,
AND YOU KILLED HER!
MMMM IT COULD A BEEN.
COULDA BEEN JUST A STORY.
A FIGMENT OF OUR IMAGINATION.
ME,
YOU,
PIGGY BACK THERE.
WHO KNOWS.
WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME SAY HUH?
[ whistling ]
HEHEHEHE
♪♪♪
LOOK JEFF,
I DON'T LIKE THIS ANYMORE THAN YOU DO.
WELL,
THAT'S NOT TRUE BUT,
IT HAD TO BE DONE.
AND TO,
TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION,
THEIR ALL DEAD.
HILDA,
HADDIE,
HOLLY,
THE VULTURE,
THE SERPENT,
THE SPLINTER,
I SAW,
DARK SHADOWS CAST MY PRETTY GIRLS.
AND THERE THEY LIE,
SO MUTILATED, THEY WERE HARDLY RECOGNIZABLE.
AND DO YOU THINK IT WAS ME?
HUH?
THESE DIRTY DEEDS, THAT OUR SOULS BLEED!
AND THEN I SEE MY WIFE,
SCREAMING STOP, STOP!
EXACTLY!
STOP, STOP, DO NOT CONTINUE.
IS IT COMING TO YOU?
ON THE WALLS!
DO NOT CONTINUE!
WRITTEN IN THE VICTIMS BLOOD,
WE ARE ONE!
WOOOO!
DOES THAT MAKE SENSE!?
NO NO NO
♪♪♪
[ rolling thunder ]
UH HEY,
UH
JEFF,
JEFF,
HEY, HOW BOUT UH,
HOW BOUT WE JUST CALL IT EVEN HUH?
YEAH, YOU LET ME OFF AT THE ROADSIDE N,
AND JUST DONE WITH IT, HMM?
♪♪♪
I WOULD HIGHLY
RECOMMEND YOU NOT DOING THAT.
HUH!
♪♪♪
FUCK YOU, YA OLD FUCKER!
STOP, MAKE IT STOP!
[ gun shot ]
[ loud ringing in they're ears ]
DRIVE!
I'M DRIVING, I'M FUCKING DRIVING!
♪♪♪
WOOO
MMMM
SO,
LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
WHEN YOU PUT YOUR
HANDS ACROSS SARAH BARE'S THROAT,
DID SHE SCREAM?
HUH?
SHE SHE SHE,
SHE'S FUCKING DEAD, THAT'S WHAT SHE IS!
NO!
AND YOU DID IT!
COME ON ADMIT IT!
I DIDN'T DO IT,
YES YOU DID!
JEFF,
YES YOU DID!
JEFF
♪♪♪
HEY,
JEFF, JEFF THESE ARE WINDY ROADS,
COME ON YOU GOTTA SLOW DOWN.
OH SHUT UP OLD MAN!
STOP, JUST FUCKING STOP!
SLOW DOWN!
STOP!
♪♪♪
JEFF
COME ON NOW, SLOW DOWN, YOU'RE GONNA KILL ALL OF US.
HEY, IF YOU DIE,
WE ALL DIE!
SHHHHHH...
YOU FUCKING KILLED HER, ADMIT IT!
AD-FUCKING-MIT IT!
YOU DID IT!
YES YOU DID!
I DIDN'T FUCKING MEAN TO!
WOOOO!
YEAH! THERE WE GO BOY!
MMWA!
THERE
WE
GO
OH...
DRY THOSE TEARS HUH?
[ rear door opens ]
HE HE,
OH, FUCK YOU, YA OLD FUCKER!
FUUUCK! AH!
[ door ajar ding, drones on ]
[ a single gun shot ]
(DOOR AJAR DING, DRONES ON)
UH, IN THERE, UH EH HUH...
OOOOOH
DRIVE!
PLEASE DRIVE.
[ car starts ]
HE HE
WHEW!
HE HE HE HE
WHEW... STILL HOT
WELL HUH...
THAT WAS ENTERTAINING! HE HE HE
JEFF
YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY, YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH, YOU THINK THIS IS FUCKING FUNNY!
YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH.
♪♪♪ [ music drowns out their arguing ]
JEFF!
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW JEFF, HMM?
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW?
HEY
HEY
HEY, AM I AM I TALKING TO JEFF?
OR UH...
YOUR PASSENGER.
HE HE HE
OK
UH JEFF LOOK,
I CAN TELL YOUR A PRETTY GOOD GUY,
YOU JUST UH,
GOT YOURSELF INTO SOMETHING,
THAT'S OUT OF CONTROL.
HEY JEFF,
I'M NOT DOIN TO GOOD BACK HERE.
LOOK UH,
UP THE ROAD A WAYS, THERE'S A
A FARM HOUSE.
INSIDE,
IS MY WIFE.
AND JEFF,
SHE SHE NEEDS ME TO COME HOME TO HER.
CAN YOU,
IMAGINE,
WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ALL ALONE?
SHE NEEDS ME TO COME HOME JEFF.
HE'S RIGHT JEFF,
SHE NEEDS HIM TO COME HOME.
I MEAN,
SHE'S ALL HE HAS.
SHE NEEDS HIM.
SHE NEEDS US.
NOW DOESN'T THAT SOUND NICE.
CURLIN UP BY A FIRE,
HAVIN SOME WARM COFFEE AND SOME COLD GRITS?
AND I COULD JUST,
TELL YOU A LOT MORE STORIES.
STORIES STORIES STORIES, I'M SO TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING STORIES! YOUR BLOODY FUCKING STORIES!
JEFF,
YOU UNDERSTAND THOUGH,
MY STORIES ARE REAL.
JEFF,
HEY JEFF, JEFF
JEFF LOOK AT ME.
HEY,
YOU KNOW THIS,
THIS,
THIS CAN STOP,
THIS CAN STOP BEING BAD RIGHT NOW.
HUH?
I'M IN CONTROL.
YOUR IN CONTROL JEFF.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THERE YOU GO.
I'M IN CONTROL.
YOU'RE IN CONTROL.
I'M IN CONTROL.
I'M IN CONTROL.
I'M IN CONTROL.
I'M IN CONTROL.
I'M IN CONTROL.
I'M IN CONTROL!
YOU MOTHERFUCKER!
[ gun fire, loud ringing sound ]
DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?
DO YOU NOT GET IT?
I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE!
SO,
IN THE WORDS A GOD!
STOP, FUCKIN, IGNORING ME,
AND DRIVE.
♪♪♪
UH JEFF,
♪♪♪
UH JEFF,
ONE MORE TIME OLD MAN.
JEFF,
I AM NOT JEFF!
I AM ALDOUS, MOTHERFUCKIN BALFOUR!
I GOT IT, I GOT IT, YEAH,
ALDOUS.
OH I SEE.
IT'S ALDOUS.
I HAVE A WIFE THAT I LOVE VERY MUCH ALDOUS.
36 YEARS,
SARAH.
OH MY PRETTY GIRL,
SARAH.
I LOVED YOU.
HUH, I NEVER SAID THAT ENOUGH.
SARAH
WELL, I THOUGHT THAT OLD FUCKER'D NEVER SHUT UP.
♪♪♪
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO.
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO.
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO.
IT'S A CYCLE JEFF,
IT'S ALWAYS A CYCLE.
IT STARTED A LONG WAY BACK,
AND NOW IT'S YOUR TURN.
YOU'RE NEVER GETTING RID OF IT JEFF, BUT AT LEAST YOU GOT ME RIGHT?
YOU ALWAYS GOT ME.
HA HA HA
I AIN’T GOING ANYWHERE, I ALREADY SAID THAT.
BUT THERE'S NOTHIN TO WORRY BOUT,
CUZ, FROM HERE ON OUT,
IT'S JUST YOU AND ME.
TWO PEAS IN A POD RIGHT?
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?
JUST LIKE YOUR DADDY,
NOTHIN LIKE MY FUCKIN DADDY.
OH YOUR NOTHING LIKE YOUR DADDY?
NOTHIN LIKE MY FUCKIN DADDY, HE'S NOT HERE RIGHT NOW.
HA HA HA HA
YOU STILL DENYIN,
YOU'RE STILL DENYIN.
I'M HERE JEFF,
I'M HERE TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH.
NOBODY'S FUCKING HERE,
NOBODY'S FUCKING HERE.
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!
DID YOU DO,
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO! I'LL FUCKIN KILL YOU!
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKIN HEAD!
[ loud crash ]
[ car horn and crickets in the background ]
HEY MISTER!
YOU OK?
UH
I,
I SAW YOUR CAR IN THE DITCH BACK THERE.
UH MISTER?
UH,
YOU OK?
MISTER?
♪♪♪
OH HONEY!
YOU'RE MORE BATTERED THAN A STACK A PANCAKES.
HUH,
WELL,
I'M GLAD I DIDN'T LEAVE YA OUT THERE TO TEASE THE COYOTES.
♪♪♪
IT'S A HELL OF A NIGHT TO BE, OUT ON THE ROAD ALONE.
♪♪♪
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
♪♪♪