Richard Osman's World Cup of the Decade (2019) Movie Script

This programme contains strong

language and adult humour.

Hello, everybody and welcome along

to the World Cup Of The Decade,

how lovely to have you here.

Over the next 90 minutes we are

gonna be revealing the winners

of a series of huge Twitter polls to

find the best things of the decade.

This evening, we are gonna find out

the winners of the best TV show,

the best song, the best new thing

and the best film of the 2010s.

But a lot has changed in the decade.

At the start of the decade

Orange ls The New Black

was a television programme, and now

orange is the new black is

the way of remembering

the sequence of US presidents.

That's how we remember them.

Things change.

At the start of the decade

we all ate meat,

at the end of the decade,

we're all vegans.

There was that brief

bit in the middle of the decade

when we were all eating meat, but

all the meat was made out of horse.

Do you remember that?

But the biggest change

of the decade,

in 2010 Prince Andrew could

not sweat.

And now look at the guy, he is...

It is rolling off him

in buckets, this guy.

Er, we're gonna find out all sorts

of fun things about the decade.

I want you to welcome, please,

though, my guests, who are gonna be

chatting through all these polls,

they're gonna be telling us

their favourites, they're gonna be

furious about some of the winners,

as are you. Enjoy yourself, though.

Please welcome Mr Jon Richardson.

APPLAUSE

Lorraine Kelly.

Rhianna Dhillon.

And Mr Alex Brooker.

Hey, everybody. Hello, there.

Jon? Hello.

Have you had a good decade?

Lots of changes in your life.

Yes, well, I'm wearing...

This shirt is my decade,

because I bought this

at the start of the decade.

Yeah, I can... You can tell.

JON CHUCKLES

I wore it for my first DVD

buttoned up, and now look.

I mean...

That's a good decade, innit, that?

And the fact that you said DVD,

which was something we used to have,

wasn't it, in 2010s, as well?

Yeah, I just missed the VHS boom.

Sadly. Lorraine, how lovely to

have you here. Thank you.

I didn't like calling you Lorraine

Kelly because I think you should be

Dame Lorraine Kelly. Oh, no, no.

Is that something we can look

forward to in the next decade?

No absolutely not, no. Who thinks

Lorraine Kelly should be a dame?

No, don't.

AUDIENCE CHEERS

Dame. They've offered it to you,

though, right?

No, they have not. It'll never

happen. Never in a million years.

If they've offered it to you, wink.

No, honestly, they really haven't.

She just winked, she winked.

Rhianna, how lovely to have you

here.

You're here to help me

out with all sorts of facts

and figures because you...

Know everything about

movies, about TV, you're a film

critic, all that kind of malarkey,

you also are our youngest person. I

wonder if you can tell us, Rhianna,

how old were you at the start

of the decade?

RICHARD SIGHS

Just a wee baby. 20 years old. Yeah.

That's depressing, isn't it?

I tell you what, though,

it's a good trick if you wanna find

out how old someone is,

ask them how old they were ten years

ago, because they like the answer,

and the maths is really easy.

Nice to have you here.

Alex Brooker? Hello. Nice to

have you here.

Now, what a decade for you,

what were you doing in 2010?

Oh, man.

No, it is not, and thank the

good Lord for that.

Now, we're gonna start this

evening with telly,

cos we're gonna find

the best TV show of the decade.

Now, what we did, we put out a whole

series of polls on Twitter,

everybody voted,

over 2.5 million votes we got,

we got the 16 highest qualifiers and

we split them into four groups,

and we're gonna find out who wins

each of those groups.

OK? Four groups, each winner goes

through to the semifinals.

Now, TV shows, 16 of 'em, shall we

take a look at our first group?

What would you like to win

out of this group, please?

Our first group is...

Line Of Duty, Black Mirror,

Great British Bake Off,

and Ru Paul's Drag Race.

Anyone got any particular

favourites? Oh, this is too hard.

You've got Line Of Duty and Ru Paul.

We have. How can I choose?

That's like choosing your favourite

child. Cannot. Well, no, you do.

Line Of Duty, any Line Of Duty fans

here? Love Line Of Duty. Love it.

When I was watching,

one of them started saying Haitch

instead of Aitch, like, which is

the thing that comes in,

but I just think it'd be one of the

great grammatical jokes of all time

if Aitch and Haitch are two

different people.

One of my absolutely favourite

things about Line Of Duty -

I think one of everyone's favourite

things - was Ted Hastings,

played by Adrian Dunbar, and

certainly as the series went on,

as well, he just became a succession

of catchphrases,

but all of which were brilliant.

Shall we take a little look at some

of them now?

We are only interested in one thing

and one thing only,

and that is bent coppers.

Bent coppers. Bent coppers.

Bent coppers. Bent copper.

Bent coppers... I didn't float up

the Lagan on a bubble.

Mother of God. Mother of God.

Mother of God.

We weren't born yesterday, fella.

Fella. Fella. Fella. Fella.

Fella. Fella. Fella.

I think you should sit down, fella,

or I'll handcuff you to that desk.

I've never seen the show.

Was that one scene?

Cos I found that very

difficult to follow.

Yeah, yeah, that's er...

It's essentially just

that for four series.

Right, OK. Yeah. I'll give it a go.

I mean, it's mad, cos they're

in a room just

talking about procedure, and you

think that's gonna be really,

really dull, and it's so brilliant,

isn't it? It's so, so well done.

Beautifully written.

Now, Rhianna, Black Mirror?

Yes, we did start the decade with

someone essentially having

sex with a pig in a drama,

and we sort of ended it with

a prime minister

genuinely having sex with a pig.

Allegedly.

Which is... That's a funny...

Oh, come on, he did it.

Were you there? Were you there?

Did you see?

He is not gonna sue.

Like he wants anyone to know

where he is.

We've got... That's very true.

...we've got a good clean ten years

of Cameron not showing his face.

Erm, anyone here

a fan of Great British Bake Off?

Yes.

Are you? Yes. No, it's too tense.

It's supposed to be about scones.

It's only one tent and they're all

in...

But it's too... it's too

stressful.

Er, see, I think Bake Off,

I like Bake Off

because I don't think it's

stressful at all.

I'm gonna show you a clip now.

I think that

if this is the most stressful

thing that's ever happened

in your series,

it's not a stressful series.

Oh, man, that was awful.

Oh, it's... Oh, it's going,

it's going.

BLEEP

It's gonna fall.

BLEEP

Oh, God. No!

Oh, BLEEP. Oh, man. Oh, my God.

I mean... Too tense.

Noel's thinking, "This is the best

thing that's happened

"since I got this job."

Er, what do we think should win

this group, everybody?

Oh.

But Black Mirror was brilliant,

but the Star Trek episode...

That's a good one.

Absolutely. I know, but then Line Of

Duty. Yeah, I like...

And then Ru Paul,

how can you not have Ru Paul?

Oh, Lorraine,

it's great to have you on the show.

I'd say Line Of Duty.

You're going Line Of Duty. Rhianna?

Lorraine?

I'm gonna say Ru Paul. Jon?

I think the only show there that is

so successful

we'd turn the world into a spin-off

episode is Black Mirror.

Black Mirror.

Well, let's find out what was

fourth on the list.

What came last?

Drag Race. Awwww!

Just 6% for Drag Race.

What came third?

Black Mirror, 26%.

So who's going through to

the semifinal?

It's either gonna be Line Of Duty,

or it's gonna be Great British Bake

Off.

Audience, what would you like?

AUDIENCE SHOUTS OUT ANSWERS

I think that was 48/52,

so let's... let that go, shall we?

Er, our first semifinalist

in The World Cup Of The Decade,

Best TV Show is...

Line Of Duty goes first. Yay.

Line Of Duty.

It is brilliant. Oh, it's fantastic.

It is brilliant. If you haven't

seen it, do try and...

It's genius. Catch up on it.

It's terrific stuff.

Line Of Duty is through to the

semifinal. What's it gonna face?

It's gonna face the winner of these

four TV shows.

And they are Gogglebox.

Yeah!

Killing Eve. Brilliant.

Planet Earth 2, and Game Of Thrones.

There's some big hitters in this,

everything's a big hitter

though, it's only 16 shows

from across the whole decade.

What does anyone fancy there?

APPLAUSE

I have to say, I've never seen

a frame of Game Of Thrones.

Not one single one.

I haven't either, Lorraine.

Have you not?

I thought I was the only

person, I'm so happy.

I do know there's a dragon in it

and a man called Jon Snow

and they tell him he doesn't know

anything, but that's about it.

I know that, and there's something

about winter is coming,

I think there are breasts,

I think that's correct.

Oh, go on, then.

Is it something you know?

I've never said this before -

what do you think at home,

how many breasts are there

in Game Of Thrones?

This is a fun game to play

with your kids. Erm...

Rhianna, how many breasts

are there in Game Of Thrones?

134 breasts?!

That's one penis a season.

To be fair, though, winter is

coming, so it may have been more.

So, yeah, they do...

I tell you who I'm worried for -

the viewer at home who's just

answered this and got it right

in front of all of their family.

Very true. Let's move on, shall we,

to Gogglebox.

Fans... fans of Gogglebox?

Yes. Yes.

Of course we love Gogglebox because

it's good, firstly, Lorraine,

and second, we know

they're watching us.

So, you've gotta be nice,

haven't you?

I mean, listen, I love the

Siddiquis. If you're watching, guys,

lovely to see ya!

Because they might feature this.

Who are your least favourite

Goggleboxers, Jon?

I think, at best, you need one posh

family,

that would be my comment.

Giles and Mary.

Giles and Mary'll do.

And Steph and Dom in their day...

Yeah... had a role to play.

Nowadays, sometimes there's

three or four posh families,

and that doesn't do it for me.

Does it not?

I would, and I'm a huge

fan of the show, I think

it's one of the best things on

telly.

There are people now watching

they'll be intercutting,

there'll be people going, "I hope

he's not talking about us, darling."

Pass the Cointreau.

Er, that is Gogglebox.

Now, Planet Earth 2... Oh.

..er, is a wonderful show.

Shall we take a little look at

Planet Earth 2?

Please. So many clips we could've

chosen. I know.

Er, here's a very, very tense clip,

though.

You'll all remember this one.

It's like a proper

Hollywood car chase, except the cars

are an iguana and some snakes.

Oh, yeah.

TENSE MUSIC PLAYS

Phew! Thank the Lord!

Oh, my God.

Oh! Nearly as tense as Bake Off.

That was tense. That was tense.

The more I watch that clip, the more

it's like watching Arsenal defend.

There's loads of them around him,

how's he got through there?

That's not like

the Daily Mail...

...to accuse someone of fakery.

No?

Probably a younger iguana who'd

had a bit of Botox.

It would've been a bit cruel to

let him get to the top

and then put him back.

Last one in this group, Killing Eve,

this is essentially a show

about two women who want to kill

each other,

it's the Coleen Rooney,

Rebecca Vardy story, essentially.

Er, fans of Killing Eve?

Oh, I love it. Isn't

it the best?

Absolutely fantastic.

And Phoebe Waller-Bridge,

who I suspect we'll be seeing

a little bit more of later.

No spoilers, but I wonder if one of

her other shows has qualified for

our 16. Oh, I would think so.

Erm, shall we take a look at what

came last in this group?

Gogglebox came last. OK, OK.

I've gone on record of saying

I disagree with that,

I would've put it first,

Goggleboxers. 13%.

Er, in third place?

Oh. Planet Earth 2? Oh,

that's... that's a shocker.

That's crazy, so Killing Eve versus

Game Of Thrones.

What do we think's

gonna win this one?

Killing Eve. You think? Yeah.

Game Of Thrones.

Game Of Thrones? Let's take a look.

Erm, going through to the

semifinals to play

Line Of Duty is...

Game Of Thrones goes through.

Oh. OK. OK.

There is our first

semifinal right there,

Line Of Duty versus Game Of Thrones.

We will get to that in a moment.

It's time for a break -

see you in a minute.

Welcome back to

World Cup of the Decade.

Now, we were discussing

the TV Show of the Decade.

Two more groups to go.

Here is group C.

What is going to win this?

What's going through

to the semifinal from this?

You could have Peaky Blinders,

Derry Girls,

Downton Abbey,

or Love Island,

which is a Downton Abbey spin-off.

LAUGHTER

Some pretty good

ones on that, isn't there?

I'm not criticising the draw

but I think Gogglebox pisses

that group, I think.

You reckon? Yeah.

APPLAUSE

Derry Girls is my childhood,

Derry Girls. It's just like...

I just loved it so much,

I laughed so much.

Shall we have a little look at a clip

of Derry Girls? Oh, it's so good.

It's such a wonderful ensemble

piece. Here's a clip

where you see

all the girls together

and they've got such amazing

chemistry. I love them.

Look, whatever happens in there

we have to stick together, OK?

We have to back each other up.

HYSTERICALLY: So it had nothing to

do with me!

Yes, OK, I was there, I admit that.

But I didn't do anything!

It was Michelle!

It was all Michelle!

I'm not going down for something

I didn't do!

If anyone deserves to get punished,

it should be Michelle!

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

The wonderful Derry Girls.

Um, Love Island.

Any Love Island fans here? Yeah!

They asked me to go on

Celebrity Love Island,

but I said, "Look, if all I want to do

is get a tan and sleep with a celebrity,

I'll do Strictly."

LAUGHTER

SCATTERED BOOS

Don't boo that - they should stop fucking

each other. That's the... LAUGHTER

Alex, are you a fan of Love Island?

I just love everything about it.

I love the drama.

I mean, it's got drama. Oh, yeah,

for sure. It's got comedy.

I love the fact that they've managed

to get young British people

to go to Majorca and have sex,

and who would have thought that

was possible?

WQW!

And if we could just get them

off the electoral register.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

Is that true,

nearly 100 thousand people?

That's what

I did this evening with the panel.

Um, now, Peaky Blinders.

I love Peaky Blinders.

I love Derry Girls

and I love Peaky Blinders,

two of my favourite shows in

the same group here.

Super sweary, Rhianna,

right, Peaky Blinders?

This sounds like Love Island so far.

LAUGHTER

Oh.

It was originally called

Brum Loving Criminals.

LAUGHTER

I genuinely love Peaky Blinders.

Here's a lovely clip from

Peaky Blinders.

It does have a bit of swearing,

but it shows how kind of...

It can be very violent, but also

funny and also so beautifully acted.

Let's take a little

look at the clip,

just before Tommy Shelby's wedding.

But the main thing is,

you bunch of fuckers,

despite the provocation

from the cavalry,

no fighting.

Oi.

No fighting.

No fucking fighting.

No fighting.

No fucking fighting!

Good.

Get the fuck away.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

That was fantastic.

There's something about that

swearing in that accent

that's just really...

Well, especially

if Cillian Murphy's doing it.

"Satisfying. Yeah.

It's managed to make the Birmingham

accent sound quite cool.

Well, its managed to make about 40 different

variations of the Birmingham accent soundcool.

The last one on the list -

Downton Abbey.

Some people don't watch Downton because

they think it's a bit too gentle.

I have to say, every time I watch it,

it seems just to be Maggie Smith tutting

because they've installed

a landline.

Have you ever seen any Downton, Jon?

No, I'm afraid not.

There's so many

other channels, um...

LAUGHTER

So, listen, time to make a choice.

What would we like to win

this group? Alex?

For me it's between Love Island

and Peakys.

I probably... Do you know what,

I'd probably say -

and don't hate me for it - Love Island.

Listen, man, someone's got to do it. Rhianna?

Lorraine?

Derry Girls. Derry Girls as well.

Jon? We should get some

comedy through.

Let's get Derry Girls. Derry Girls as well. So

three for Derry Girls, one for Love Island.

What do you think at home?

Let's find out what came last

in this poll.

Oh, Alex, I'm so sorry.

Oh, well. I'm so sorry.

People don't know good telly when

they see it. 10%. What was third?

Downton with 16%. Interesting!

So Peaky Blinders versus Derry Girls.

Oh! Still in there with a shout,

Derry Girls.

Let's take a look.

What did the public say on Twitter?

Peaky Blinders.

That is our third semifinalist.

We have three semifinalists,

one more to go.

There's Line of Duty versus

Game of Thrones.

Peaky Blinders is going to play

the winner of this last group.

And it is...

...Fleabag... Oh, genius.

...Stranger Things,

The Only Way ls Essex...

I know, right? I know.

LAUGHTER

Come on.

...and Sherlock.

That is this group.

Let's take a look at Sherlock,

shall we?

Huge hit, started in 2010, Sherlock.

Oh, it's good.

It's gone all around the world.

It has fans everywhere in the world.

We've got a picture here, I think,

of Justin Trudeau who went as Sherlock

to his last Halloween party...

I don't think he did it particularly

well. You'll be the judge of that.

...which is good news cos his second

choice was Luther, so...

LAUGHTER

Oh, dear.

Fans of Sherlock? Very much so.

Sometimes a wee bit too clever

for its own good,

but very well done.

You like a bit of Sherlock, Jon? Do love

a bit of Sherlock, yeah. Yeah, it's good.

And all the words on the screen and all that.

I like that, yeah. I like that, it's great.

There's loads

of fan fiction for Sherlock.

They do fan fiction where Holmes

and Watson get up to stuff, right.

Oh, they do that with Star Trek.

Yeah, well, they do it

for Pointless. Right?

Do they? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Do they really?

Tell me everything. Tell

me everything.

Everybody in this room -

and at home -

is imagining you having sex

with Alexander Armstrong.

That's all I'm doing.

Because normally, normally

it's just me imagining that.

It's nice... It's nice to be able

to share it.

JON IMITATES POINTLESS COUNTDOWN

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

Listen, Fleabag is the last

on my list. Oh. Yes.

Killing Eve already knocked out,

but Fleabag has been...

I mean, an extraordinary show of the

decade. Oh, absolutely fantastic.

There's nothing bad to say about it

and in the second series we had

the hot priest,

so that was even better.

Ah, the hot priest.

So, yeah.

Shall we take a little look at the hot priest? But

we'll take a look also at Phoebe Waller-Bridge,

the genius behind the show.

This is where she traditionally

breaks the fourth wall.

I'd really like to be your

friend, though.

I'd like to be your friend too.

We'll last a week.

What was that?

What?

Where did you... Where did you

just go?

What?

You just... went somewhere.

There.

Where did you just go?

SHE CHUCKLES

Nowhere.

Ah, Fleabag there.

And Andrew Scott, to be fair,

does look exactly like a cross

between Ant and Dec.

LAUGHTER

I mean, that is definitely true.

Let's find out our final

semifinalist, shall we?

Last in this group,

can you believe it?

It's The Only Way ls Essex,

with 2% of the votes.

Third place in this group...

Oh, get out of it. Oh, no!

That's a shock. Shocker.

28% .

British public... No.

...what are they thinking?

There are a lot of women who want to

see a priest get noshed off in there.

LAUGHTER

Is that what women want?

That happened, didn't it? Did it?

Yeah, I think, yeah, something happened,

didn't it? She gets down and...

I never saw that.

No, but that was part

of the ritual of the...

...of the religious theme.

Was it not? I mean...

Quite how you got

to your age, Lorraine...

LAUGHTER

No, it's all part of the ceremony.

It's part of the ritual, you know.

That was a very milky communion.

Oh!

GROANS

Lorraine literally just made

the sign of the cross at you there.

Our final semifinalist for the World

Cup of the Decade TV Show is...

...Sherlock.

APPLAUSE

That's fair enough.

OK.

Here are our semifinals -

Line of Duty will play

Game of Thrones,

Peaky Blinders will play Sherlock.

One of those four is the Best TV

Show of the Decade,

according to our huge Twitter poll.

First semifinal,

Line of Duty versus Game of Thrones.

Who do we think's going to win?

Alex? Line of Duty.

Rhianna?

Line of Duty.

Gogglebox.

LAUGHTER

I'm with Jon. I agree, Gogglebox.

I can tell you this one was 49/51.

Wow. Those were the numbers.

GASPS

Our first finalist in the World Cup

of the Decade Best TV Show is...

Game of Thrones just takes it.

No, no, no.

APPLAUSE

I guess it's understandable. Hm.

Second semifinal.

What's going to play Game of Thrones in

that final - Peaky Blinders or Sherlock?

Alex? I'd like to think

Peaky Blinders.

I'd love Peaky Blinders. Rhianna?

Lorraine?

I'll... I don't mind. Sherlock.

They're both brilliant. Jon?

It's flat cap versus deerstalker,

isn't it, I guess, so... It kind of is.

I'll go flat cap. You go flat for...

You're going Peaky.

I'd go Peaky as well and we know

what that means.

It means that Sherlock's almost

certainly going to win.

Audience, Peaky or Sherlock?

AUDIENCE:

The audience is going for Sherlock.

Let's find out what is playing Game

of Thrones in the final. It is...

Oh, no. Sherlock.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

Sherlock v Game of Thrones.

Listen, we have the small matter

of a final to attend to. Yes.

It's the World Cup of the Decade,

but what is the Best Television Show

of the Decade?

We know it's Game of Thrones

or Sherlock.

Anyone got a big favourite here?

Game of Thrones, then.

Sherlock.

Sherlock, but I think Thrones will win. Two

each. You think Game of Thrones will win? Yeah.

Let's take a look. The Best TV Show

of the Decade is...

...Sherlock is our winner.

Sherlock is our winner.

Congratulations to Sherlock.

Let's just show one little

clip in celebration of Sherlock.

This is Andrew Scott and

Benedict Cumberbatch

in a wonderful scene from the Best

TV Show Of The Decade, Sherlock.

Well, I'd better be off.

So nice to have had a proper chat.

What if I was to shoot you now?

Right now.

Then you could cherish

the look of surprise on my face...

...cos I'd be surprised, Sherlock.

Really, I would.

And just a teensy bit...

"disappointed.

And, of course, you wouldn't be able

to cherish it for very long.

Ciao,

Sherlock Holmes.

Catch you...

"later.

IN SING-SONG VOICE: No, you won't.

DOOR SLAMS SHUT

Oh, it is good, it is good.

Ladies and gentlemen,

The Best TV Show Of The Decade,

Sherlock.

Now, I think it's important for all

of us,

at this point in the show,

maybe to pause,

maybe to reflect on some

of the things

that we've lost along the way

in this decade.

LAUGHTER

AUDIENCE:

LAUGHTER

AUDIENCE:

Who is she?!

Who is she? Where did

you find her?

LAUGHTER

Obama out.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

I honestly...

I honestly thought I was going to make it through that

and then Ceefax turned up. I couldn't deal with it.

Those are the things we've

lost along the way this decade.

Join us after the break, please,

where we'll be finding out

The Best Song Of The Decade.

Hello, there, welcome back to

World Cup Of The Decade.

Before the break, we discovered

the Best TV Show of the Decade

was Sherlock,

according to our huge Twitter poll.

We're about to find out

the Best Song of the Decade.

Again, 16 finalists,

we draw them in to four groups,

the winner of each group goes

through to our semifinals,

shall we have a little

listen to the songs in group one?

# She's up all night till the sun

# I'm up all night to get some

# She's up all night for good fun

# I'm up all night to get lucky... #

# I let my guard down

# And then you pulled the rug

# I was getting kind of used to

being someone you loved... #

# Hey, I just met you

# And this is crazy

# But here's my number

# So call me maybe

# It's hard to look right at you,

baby

# But here's my number

# So call me maybe... #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Banger after banger, there.

All killer, no filler.

Any favourites there?

I absolutely love Call Me Maybe.

It's a good song, right?

Genuinely, I had it as my ringtone

for a little while

when it first came out.

I absolutely love it,

I mean, it's terrible advice,

dishing your number out left, right

and centre, but what a great song.

Also, great video.

Not in a pervy way.

LAUGHTER

Video Games, that might be

one of my favourite songs of

the decade. Yeah?

She wrote it about sort of just

hanging out with her

boyfriend who was playing

World of Warcraft. Oh, yeah.

I thought it was a bit meh.

Really? Yeah.

Lewis Capaldi just, amazing.

Lewis Capaldi? Oh, he's your

favourite?

Love him, Lewis, he's my favourite,

I just think he's so cute

and so gorgeous and so funny and he

doesn't take himself very seriously.

He is brilliantly self-deprecating

as well.

He's got this little documentary

called Becoming Lewis Capaldi,

there's a little clip here

where he goes through this

tough process of writing lyrics.

This book right here's just, I just

constantly, I write something,

I can write something now,

"I love you, I love you,

why did you leave me?

"Please don't leave me, seriously,

please don't leave me.

"I love you, please don't leave me.

"Don't leave me.

"I don't want to live

with my parents any more."

I adore him. He's wonderful.

You've gotta like the guy.

He's wonderful.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He really is.

I don't...

A couple of years ago,

he was nowhere,

and now he's one of the biggest

stars in the world.

I've had gigs like that.

LAUGHTER

Huge fan of Lewis Capaldi.

Now, Get Lucky by Daft Punk

was an absolutely huge song,

I met one of Daft Punk

the other day.

I had a Deliveroo.

LAUGHTER

Um, so, but we know who they are,

right?

They're a couple of French guys.

Darren Anderton

and Teddy Sherringham.

Yeah.

So let's find our fourth placed

song first.

Video Games.

I love that song,

anyway, 12% for that.

Third place?

Oh, Don't Call Me, Carly Rae, 21%,

so it's between,

Get Lucky by Daft Punk,

a classic from the middle of

the decade

and the new kind of hot kid

on the block,

Lewis Capaldi with

Someone You Loved.

Um, let's find out,

what's our first semifinalist

in the Best Song of the Decade?

I mean, it had to be, right?

I think it had to be.

APPLAUSE

So Get Lucky by Daft Punk

is our first semifinalist.

What is it going to

play in its semifinal?

One of these four songs.

# Cos all of me

# Loves all of you

# Love your curves

and all your edges

# All your perfect imperfections...

#

# Cos the players gonna play,

play, play, play, play

# And the haters gonna hate, hate,

hate, hate, hate

# Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake,

shake, shake, shake

# I shake it off

I shake it off... #

# Never mind,

I'll find someone like you

# I wish nothing

but the best for you too... #

Oh. Four good songs there.

APPLAUSE

That is a tough group.

Now, you won't have seen

while that was on,

two of the members of our panel,

namely me and Lorraine,

I think our favourite song

is the same one.

Which is Despacito, right?

It's so good.

I love Despacito.

So, so good.

What a fantastic song.

We do Zumba to that.

We shake everything.

It's so... But it's quite hard to

sing along to, right?

No-one knows the words,

but it doesn't stop you, you know,

you just kinda put in, you know...

# One day I saw a mosquito

# Which had some chilli

heatwave Doritos... #

You just kind of make your own.

I think that is the lyrics to the

song.

I've never heard that song

until now.

You've never heard Despacito?

It's so good.

They don't really play

it in Morrison's.

Now John Legend, All of Me,

best-selling single of 2014,

he also got voted the sexiest

man in the world, right?

All Of Me is like, it's one of those

songs

that's, like, so many people

have had it

as their, like, first dance.

It was in the mixer for mine.

The lyrics didn't really

resonate with me,

cos as someone who's,

like, missing bits...

LAUGHTER

If the lyrics had been, like,

# What remains of me... #

LAUGHTER

Then I could've got on board.

Yeah, come on, Jon, I didn't

think All Of Me

is John Legend's best

song of the decade even.

This is a man who can make anything

sound amazing,

I think this is John Legend's best

song of the decade.

# Somebody's got a stinky boo... #

I may need some backup on this one.

Guys?

# Somebody

Somebody

# Got a stinky

So stinky

# Booty Booty, booty, booty... #

APPLAUSE

When I change my kids' nappies,

I'm too busy retching to sing.

And the final one on that group,

Taylor Swift's advice

to any man standing at a urinal,

Shake It Off, big fans of,

any fans of that song?

You're not gonna shake it off.

Shake it a bit,

but not till it comes off.

LAUGHTER

No.

Just give it a little wiggle.

So what's gonna win this group,

do we think?

It's a tough one. Adele.

I hope Despacito.

I would love to think Despacito,

I don't think we've got

a hope in hell, love, I think

it's got to be Adele, don't you?

OK, now let's find out

what came fourth.

Oh, get outa town.

Boo.

Get outa town. 13%.

It'll always be our song.

It's our song, it is.

And third place.

John Legend.

Not so cocky now, are you, John?

It's between Someone Like You

and Shake it Off

to be our second semifinalist.

The second semifinalist is...?

Adele gets through,

well done, Adele.

APPLAUSE

There she is, taking her

place in the semifinal

against Get Lucky by Daft Punk.

Um, shall we look at group three?

Best Song of the Decade, what is it?

Is it one of these four?

# ..hallelujah

# Girls hit your hallelujah

# Cos uptown funk gon'

give it to you

# Cos uptown funk gon'

give it to you

# Cos uptown funk gon'

give it to you

# Saturday night and we in the spot

# Don't believe me just watch... #

# Who run this motha, girls

# Who run the world? Girls

# Who run the world? Girls... #

APPLAUSE

Now, the more numerate amongst you

would've spotted

there was only three clips there

and that's cos the last one,

Do I Wanna Know by Arctic Monkeys,

we couldn't play it

because they're too cool,

and so we then found a clip

of a guy playing it on the guitar

with his dog accompanying him

on snare drum,

and they said, "No, you can't have

that one either."

So, what do we think on that one?

Uptown Funk, absolutely huge hit,

lots of people have claimed to have

written it, right?

Lots of lawsuits.

Oh, I was gonna say about that song,

the reason I like it

is it sounds like it could've

been from sort of any decade.

Mm. And it turns out it is

from any decade.

Shape Of You, Ed Sheeran,

an absolutely enormous hit record,

Shape Of You,

anyone Ed Sheeran fans here?

Oh, yeah, you have to be,

it's the law.

He's like the Lewis Capaldi of

the early 2010s, isn't he?

The whole decade.

Billions.

Arctic Monkeys, though,

are you a fan?

Um, I've never heard the song

and now I know I'm not gonna

tonight.

Am I allowed to whistle it?

Yeah.

Oh, I'm smiling now,

I can't whistle.

What's going on?

It's hard to, it's hard to whistle

when you're smiling.

Here we go, ladies and gentlemen,

Mr Jon Richardson.

The Northern Monkeys. V00.

LAUGHTER

I'm really nervous now.

I've never whistled on telly before.

Right, come on.

HE WHISTLES DO I WANNA KNOW?

APPLAUSE

You'll kick yourself, you remember

it now, don't you?

Alex Turner is a genius, isn't he?

Yeah.

Let's take a look, shall we,

at what came fourth in this group,

gonna find another semifinalist,

it is not going to be...

Beyonce. Oh! 10%, that's a surprise.

In third place was...

...Ed Sheeran. No!

In third place, knocked out, 16%.

See, maybe people are fed up with

it.

Arctic Monkeys or Mark Ronson

and Bruno Mars,

what's going through

to our semifinal?

It's Mark Ronson

and Bruno Mars, Uptown Funk.

That's fair enough again.

Come on.

What is it gonna play in that

semifinal?

It's gonna play

one of these four songs,

or once again one of these

three songs

because someone else wouldn't let us

play their song.

I'll tell you what it is

after these.

# I got the eye of the tiger,

a fighter,

# Dancing through the fire

# Cos I am a champion

# And you're going to hear me

roar... #

# I know when that hotline bling

# That can only mean one thing

# I know when that hotline bling

# That can only mean one thing... #

APPLAUSE

The song we're not allowed

to play there,

the fourth song is

Happy by Pharrell.

If you do want to listen to Happy,

by the way,

just call a mini cab,

it'll be playing, you can hear it.

I saw a statistic about Happy,

it said

"If you listen to every single

stream of that back-to-back,

"it would take you back to the time

when they built Stonehenge."

That's how far back it would go.

Wow.

Which, of course, is a room without

a roof, so it is apt.

Any fans of Sia?

Is it really?

That's quite strident

for a ringtone.

They must love you in a quiet

carriage.

Shall we take a look at what

has won this group?

Let's see what came fourth.

Hotline Bling.

Do you think?

That was my favourite of those.

Really?

OK.

No, he didn't.

That's like the sort of thing

that someone says down the pub,

"Came out with Yolo, didn't ya?"

Third place.

Katy Perry, it's 15%. Oh.

So it's either Happy by Pharrell,

or it's Chandelier by Sia.

What's gonna be our final

semifinalist,

Best Song of the Decade, it is...

Happy by Pharrell.

Gotta be.

Got to be.

APPLAUSE

So let's take a look at those

semifinalists,

so it is three very similar songs

there, Get Lucky, Uptown Funk

and Happy, and Adele, flying

the flag there for the UK.

First semifinal, Get Lucky by Daft

Punk versus Someone Like You, Adele.

Alex, what's winning this one?

Get Lucky.

Rhianna?

Lorraine? I think Adele.

You think Adele.

Mn?

Yeah, I found myself

rooting for Adele.

I would root for Adele, I think

she's great.

Um, let's find our first finalist

World Cup of the Decade Best Song,

is it gonna be Get Lucky or is it

gonna be Someone Like You?

ALL: Oh!

51/49. Well done, Adele.

APPLAUSE

We've gotta hand it to her,

what is Adele playing in the final?

It's gonna be one of these

two songs.

Uptown Funk versus

Happy by Pharrell.

What do you think's gonna

win this, Alex?

Uptown Funk. Rhianna?

Oh, really? Lorraine?

Uptown Funk for me.

Jon? Gogglebox.

Really? I'm gonna go

Uptown Funk as well.

So let's take a look, shall we,

what's playing Adele in the final?

Uptown Funk, Mark Ronson

and Bruno Mars.

APPLAUSE

So our final is

Someone Like You by Adele against

Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson.

We're about to find out

the Best Song of the Decade

as voted on Twitter.

What is it, though, World Cup

of the Decade Best Song, it is...

Uptown Funk takes it,

Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars.

Fair enough, I think.

We've had Sherlock,

winner of the Best TV Show,

we've had Uptown Funk,

winner of the Best Song.

After the break, we're gonna find

the Best New Thing of the Decade.

Join us then.

APPLAUSE

Hello, there. Welcome back

to World Cup Of The Decade.

We've already discovered

the, Best TV Show Of The Decade.

That was Sherlock. We've discovered

the Best Song Of The Decade.

Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson

and Bruno Mars. We're now going to

look at the Best New Thing Of

The Decade.

It's something that emerged

after 2010.

We'll go straight to

the semifinals. I'll tell you

a few things that got knocked out

before the semis. We lost onesies,

we lost Greggs vegan sausage rolls,

and we lost the Higgs boson.

We only just found that.

Let's take a look at our semifinals,

shall we?

The first one is... These are things

that are new since 2010.

Emojis versus Uber.

Emojis versus... Anyone use both?

Yeah.

The monkey with its hands over

its eyes emoji is... Yeah?

...on its own is one of

the greatest inventions of all time

because it manages to soften

bad news perfectly.

It's like, you know, if your wide

texts you and says,

"I've gone into labour.

Where are you?"

and you reply with, "I'm at the

pub," you sound ignorant.

If you reply with,

"I'm at the pub"...

LAUGHTER

..it's like, "I know what I married,

"He's a cheeky little scamp,

isn't he?

And that's how you won

Dad Of The Year.

Some people... We think we know

what all these emojis mean.

Can I show you a terrifying clip

from American TV that tells us

sometimes we don't know the whole

truth about emojis?

To young people, emojis

can mean different things

and cyber experts say kids

are starting to use some

as a secret code that we,

as parents,

can't necessarily figure out.

A skull, arrow and a flame -

that can be saying to someone

"I hope you die in a fire."

LAUGHTER

just to give you a couple more

examples, we're bringing Casey in

to give her a little quiz here

because some of these are so simple.

Yeah, a flower. A flower. You think

that's just a flower, right?

It means you want to bring

your mother flowers. Wouldn't that

be nice? Yeah!

It can also mean drugs.

What do you think? We've got

two eyeballs here. I'm watching you.

Yes, that's one of them.

Oh, but, like, literally?

Again, these have a lot

of different meanings,

so, that can mean "I'm watching

you," but we're always worried

about sexting and this can also mean

"Send me naked pictures of you."

Oh, my God!

LAUGHTER

When he sees the poo

with the smiley face...

LAUGHTER

Who are these 7% of people

who are tweeting...?

They think, "Oh, I just need to

tweet about a peach."

Now, emojis are taking on Uber,

which is a thing of this decade

isn't it? But now, enormously

successful, Uber.

Uber was spoilt for me when

I realised that I was getting rated

as well... Yes, yes... and I

didn't... How the fuck

did I end up a 4.4 out of five

just by sitting down?

LAUGHTER

I don't understand it.

It's like... I think that's

one of the greatest advan...

Uber and Airbnb and things where

you are rated as a consumer,

there's not enough of that.

Oh, really?

It's just another way to shine.

LAUGHTER

I just, you know...

I want people to know I'm better

at being in a taxi

than other people. I screengrab...

What's your Uber rating? 4.99.

Everybody, Jon Richardson.

APPLAUSE

What do we think has won this,

emojis or Uber? What's in the final?

Emojis. Emojis. Oh, God. Let's have

a little look. Emojis or Uber?

Smiley face. It's emojis.

APPLAUSE

One additional fact there -

emojis and Uber paid the same amount

of tax in the UK last year.

LAUGHTER

The next semifinal is...

Two new things. Instagram,

I understand.

Fitbits got through to

the semifinal.

Anyone use a Fitbit? I used to.

I used to, but then, you know

that you're supposed to do 10,000

steps? Yes. But then, I would get

really, really close and it would be

bedtime, and I'd be walking up

and down my bedroom trying to make

it burst the 10,000 and I thought,

that's really sad, so I put it in

a drawer and I forgot all about it.

I gave it a proper go. I did it for,

like, three clays, and...

LAUGHTER

But I did start thinking, if you had

done your 10,000 steps every day

for the decade, I'm going to show

you how far you could have gone,

if you were just walking. Oh.

If we start in London, OK?

This is if you'd done 10,000 steps

a day, you could have walked

all the way - I mean, good luck

across the sea - to New York.

We don't stop there. We then walk

all the way down to Buenos Aires,

and we then walk all the way back to

London, and we've still got

200 miles leftover,

so we can go to Hull.

LAUGHTER

10,000 steps a day!

APPLAUSE

That is amazing. Amazing, right?

Instagram fans? I like Instagram

cos it's kind.

You're good on Instagram. I'm going

to compare your Instagram

to Jon's Instagram. Go on, then.

There's a couple of pictures

from Lorraine's. Here's a

beautifully shot... I think by

a professional photographer,

this must be. You as Lady Gaga.

Look at that. I mean, look at

the composition on that.

LAUGHTER

Yeah, I mean, come on.

And they're real, them ones.

LAUGHTER

Here's you at a Pride march. Awww.

Lovely Lorraine there.

They're gorgeous.

And, Jon, here is

a picture of your...

...cutlery drawer. Yay!

LAUGHTER

It's very neat.

APPLAUSE

Very neat.

Who's got the most Instagram

followers in the world, Rhianna?

Like, the Kardashian? Beyonce or...

Cristiano Ronaldo.

Really?!

Wow. What do we think's won this?

What's in the final?

Instagram or Fitbits? Instagram.

Instagram.

Must be, surely, Instagram.

Let's take a look. What's going

through to the final to play emojis?

It is...

...Instagram. Look at it there.

APPLAUSE

Emojis versus Instagram -

one of these is

the Best New Thing Of The Decade.

But which one is it? What do we

think? One word, Alex? Emojis.

Rhianna?

Lorraine? I think Instagram.

You think lnsta.

This will be a really good bit

of footage to show when

we don't get to the end of

the next decade

because the world is on fire. Yes.

This, this debate here will be...

LAUGHTER

...this is what I'll show to

my daughter.

Just say, "Look at the fun

we were having."

I noticed that electric cars

didn't make it past emojis

and that's why

we now live in a boat.

LAUGHTER

I asked you one question.

What's going to win,

emojis or Instagram? Oh, emojis.

Let's take a look, shall we?

The Best New Thing Of The Decade

is...

...emojis, by an absolute mile.

APPLAUSE

So, we have three winners already.

We have Sherlock, we have

Uptown Funk, and we have emojis.

Join us after the break, please,

where we'll be finding out

the winner of the Best Film

Of The Decade.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Welcome back to The World Cup

Of The Decade.

We've come to our final category.

It is a big one, though.

We're going to find

the Best Film Of The Decade.

We've got 16 finalists here.

Everyone voted on Twitter -

millions of votes.

Here is our first group,

here are our first four films.

We've got Bohemian Rhapsody.

AUDIENCE MEMBERS LAUGH

Joker.

Wolf Of Wall Street

and Frozen.

What have we got as favourites

in that one, everybody?

Nice.

Yeah, I haven't seen Frozen.

I know that Elsa is a very

strong, powerful, feminist hero,

I know that because I've seen

this clip of Elsa.

Let's take a look at it.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

BYSTANDERS: Yeah! Whoo!

Beautiful.

APPLAUSE

That is Frozen.

So Bohemian Rhapsody, Rhianna,

had a very troubled start.

I wish it hadn't

but, yes, it did have a really...

I like Bo Rhap. It did have a really

troubled production because obvi...

They had different directors

coming in and out.

Sacha Baron Cohen

was supposed to be playing

Freddie Mercury before Rami Malek.

Can you imagine?

He wanted to take it down

a really dark, serious tone,

and they obviously didn't go

quite that way.

Erm, and then Rami Malek

obviously had to...

...had to keep those

teeth in for a whole production.

But he won an Oscar for it,

so it won a... He did.

It made a billion dollars.

It's nice to see Frozen up against

Wolf Of Wall Street,

two very similar...

LAUGHTER

Let's take a little look at

Wolf Of Wall Street.

So, there's a clip. Remember the

clip of Matthew McConaughey

pounding his chest? Yes.

And that was improvised, right?

Is it something he just...?

That's something that he does before

every film just to calm himself down,

and Leonardo DiCaprio

witnessed this one day

and was like,

"We need to get this in the film."

Cos it does look like he's an awful

coke-ridden banker when he does it.

So, that's actors for you.

Let's take a little look.

RHYTHMIC BEATING

Hey-um. Hey-um-mm.

Hey-um.

Umm-ha-yeah.

Mm-mm-mm-mm-uh.

HE WHISTLES THROUGH TEETH

Yeah.

Hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-mm-hm-mm-hm-hm.

Mm-hm-hm.

Toots ki?

APPLAUSE

You a fan of Wolf Of Wall Street,

Jon?

Yes, I liked it when he couldn't

get out of the car.

Channelled all the great

slapstick comedy.

It was a very good performance,

I have to say.

It's a pretty good film, isn't it?

Now, Joker is the newest one

on the list.

Joker up against Frozen

in the same group.

It's weird, right?

Yeah. And we're not allowed to show

a clip from Joker cos it's out

too recently, which is a shame

cos I wanted to show...

There's an extraordinary scene where

he's coming down the stairs,

he's dressed as the Joker for the

first time.

So, this is someone going downstairs

with almost the same amount

of dignity, I think, as the Joker,

and I think it has the same power

and affects us in the same way.

Let's take a look.

We've now got, oh, hold on a minute,

what's going on here?

There's two blokes going to go in...

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

I mean, you know, that's better

than the Joker, isn't it? Yeah.

APPLAUSE

Erm, so listen,

the battle of the big guns here.

What do we think's going to

win this group?

Oof. Frozen.

I would

like Wolf Of Wall Street to win it.

Yeah. Let's take a look.

Fourth place is...

Oh, come on.

Bo Rhap fourth.

Look at how happy everyone is

apart from me and Lorraine.

I know.

18% for that. Third place...

Joker.

Oh, here we go. Wolf Of Wall Street.

How many fucks were there in

Wolf Of Wall Street?

506, I think.

Right. Over 500.

And in Frozen, there's only seven.

So it's...

LAUGHTER

It's a close one.

Er, what's going to be our...

LAUGHTER

Er, what's our first semifinalist?

Is it Wolf Of Wall Street?

Is it Frozen? Let's find out.

Wolf Of Wall Street. Yay!

The winner there.

First semifinalist.

What is Wolf of Wall Street going

to play? Let's take a look.

It's going to be one of these

four films.

Oh...

Paddington 2.

Need we go on?

Need we go on after Paddington 2?

Deadpool, The Force Awakens.

Deadpool. And Get Out.

Deadpool, Deadpool is... Yes?

...the best film ever.

I loved it so, so much.

The best film ever?

Well, my favourite film...

My favourite film in the world,

I suppose, would be Blade Runner.

The original, right?

The original one.

Oh, yeah, oh. But Deadpool...

No, the original, yeah.

No, the original one. Director's cut,

do you know what I mean? You know what?

IN COCKNEY ACCENT: I didn't really like

the remake. I found it a little bit gauche.

All About Eve or that one,

but Deadpool is up there.

It's absolute... It is a good film.

..perfection.

Erm, so, The Force Awakens,

that's a Star Wars movie.

Not so much kind of with the Marvel

cinematic universe,

Star Wars less of a big deal this

decade. Alex, you a Star Wars fan?

I loved Force Awakens. Did you?

I absolutely... No! ..loved it.

Even though I've come to realise since that it's

very much a remake of the original Star Wars.

Oh, you spotted that? Yeah.

But, it's not often like a sequel's

better than the first. Yes.

It's not, it's not the Godfather.

Godfather.

What's... Question is,

what's so good about Paddington 2?

We've got a little clip of

Paddington 2. Shall we see it?

Yes, please. It's got an amazing

cast of characters in Paddington,

a lot of them

on screen at one time here

when Paddington's family come

visit him in prison.

We think the thief you saw is

part of a criminal gang.

Using the pop-up book as a treasure

map. Well, it's a theory.

Have you found out who they are?

Maybe I should take a look.

I'm sorry, this is a private

conversation.

It's all right, Mr Brown.

This is my friend, Knuckles.

How are you? And this is Fibs.

Good day. Spoon. Hello.

Jimmy the Snitch.

♪ -Bone. Wotcher.

The Professor.

Hello. Squeaky Pete.

Double Bass Bob.

Hello. Farmer Jack. How do?

Mad Dog. Johnny Cashpoint.

Kerching.

Sir Geoffrey Wilcox.

I hope I can rely on your vote.

And Charlie Russell.

Oh! It's so wonderful

to meet you all.

Such a charming film.

A charming film.

The other film in this group,

Get Out, was an extraordinary film.

The only kind of horror we have

on our list.

Now, let's take a look at what came

fourth in that group, shall we?

Oh, Alex. Star Wars -

The Force Awakens.

How's Paddington 2 beaten that?

Hugh Grant says it's the best

movie he's ever made

and to be fair to him, it is.

Erm, in third place?

Get Out.

In third - that's a shame - 20%.

So it's between Paddington 2

and DeadpooL DeadpooL

Erm, let's find out, shall we?

Paddington 2 or Deadpool?

What's our next semifinalist?

Deadpool. Yay! Woohoo!

There we go.

APPLAUSE

So, Deadpool is up against Wolf of

Wall Street in our first semifinal.

Oh, that's tough.

It's a tough one, isn't it?

That's really hard, that's really

hard. Er, lot of "fucks" there.

Erm, our next semifinal, one of

them's going to come from this group.

Black Panther, La La Land,

Furious...

Sorry, it's supposed to say

Moonlight, erm...

Furious 7, which is also the name

of the WhatsApp group

of the mothers of Boris Johnson's

children...

LAUGHTER

...and Toy Story 3.

Toy Story 3. Any big favourites there? Black Panther,

a huge movie. First Marvel movie to winan Oscar.

It was a great story cos sometimes with

movies they forget to write a really,

really good proper story,

and proper characters.

That's what I loved about that.

Some of the Marvel films are great.

My favourite's Thor 3, that's my

favourite Marvel film.

There can't be a Thor 3?

Why are you all saying... I know.

Thor 3, Thor 3 should

follow on from Frozen 2.

LAUGHTER

La La Land. Any fans of La La Land?

Feel like I'm in La La land.

I've not seen La La Land.

Oh, it's rubbish.

And I don't want to see it.

I didn't like it. Rubbish.

Whereas Furious 7, if they did that

as a musical I would've watched it.

Toy Story 3's gotta be a big

favourite in this group,

shall we take a little look?

A lovely film but also very,

very funny at times.

Here's a clip, it illustrates quite

how funny Toy Story can be.

Where's the manual?

Oh, all right, here we go.

There should be a little hole under

the switch. Little hole. Got it.

"To reset your Buzz Lightyear,

insert paperclip."

Rex, use your finger. What?

GRUNTS OK, now what?

All right, let's see.

"Caution. Do not hold button for

more than five seconds."

JINGLE

It's not my fault.

BEEPS

SPEAKS SPANISH

Now what did you do?

I just did what you told me.

Uh. Amigos.

We're all amigos.

We gotta switch him back.

How lovely.

Brilliant.

I mean, that is a great scene.

Erm, what do we think's going to

win this group?

What would you like to win

this group? I've not...

Furious 7 has to... There's never

been seven good anything.

Thing is though, if I've not seen

the first six,

am I going to be able to

pick it up seven in?

Do you know what? You will. Yeah.

You pretty much will.

Shall we take another look,

see what came last in this group?

Oh, Furious 7.

Just 3% for Furious 7.

Erm, third place? La La Land, 16%.

So it's between Black Panther

and Toy Story 3.

Both worthy

winners. Oh, I think so.

I would say. Both of them.

Let's find out.

Our third semifinalist is?

Toy Story 3.

APPLAUSE

So we have three semifinalists

so far.

Deadpool and Wolf of Wall Street and

then Toy Story.

Three very different movies.

Oh, it's so hard.

Three very different movies.

What's going to be our fourth semifinalist?

Going to be one of these four films.

And they are: Bridesmaids - nice to

see a proper good old comedy there.

Avengers Assemble, which is the one where they

go to Ikea, buy some flat-pack furniture.

Erm, The Lego Movie and Inception.

Those are the four movies there.

Oof, that's a tough choice,

isn't it?

Avengers Assemble, there's been

loads of great Marvel movies,

we put that in just because it

sort of feels like

the beginning of

that kind of golden age.

Now, quite often we hear things about

people who've given away spoilers.

I want to show you a clip here

where Mark Ruffalo, who's the Hulk,

I think he really is giving away a

spoiler here and the reason I think he is

is he's being interviewed with Don Cheadle,

and take a look at Don Cheadle's face

when Mark Ruffalo says the things

he's saying.

I think Mark Ruffalo is not supposed

to be saying what he's saying.

It's a lot of fun.

Did you succeed in saving it?

I can't... Can I say it? No.

I would imagine you guys... Can I just

give 'em a little, a little taste?

I wouldn't say too much but you

can say as much...

I mean, hey, it's your career.

Let me just say this - like every

other Marvel movie,

it doesn't end well

for the superheroes.

That's true. In Marvel

it doesn't end that well,

somebody always dies or gets

really badly hurt.

Wait til you see this next one,

everybody dies. Dude!

LAUGHTER

I may be wrong in that part. Yeah,

can you... You'll cut that bit.

That's not...

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Jon, have you seen Inception?

Yes, I did see it.

Did you understand what

was going on?

I think I did at the time.

It's the sort of film I enjoyed

and never want to see again.

Yeah. It's possible, though,

that we're still watching it.

No. Don't, don't, don't.

Don't, don't.

Lego Movie, anyone seen Lego Movie?

I have one fact about it - which is that it's

the most uncomfortable movie to stand on.

That's the only,

that's the only fact I have.

And Bridesmaids, nice to see

a comedy making a lot of money.

Proper funny. Is that what you'd

go for in this group? Yeah.

Comedy, it's really hard

to do comedy.

Being just really funny about real

life and getting married, that's hard.

Well, listen, as your career proves.

LAUGHTER

Wonderful. Erm, shall we find our

final semifinalist?

What is going up against Toy Story

3? In fourth place it is...

The Lego Movie, 17%. OK.

In third place? Ah, there goes

Bridesmaids.

Inception and Avengers Assemble,

you would assume Avengers Assemble.

Let's take a look.

What's our fourth semifinalist?

Inception is our fourth

semifinalist.

APPLAUSE

We've got our semifinals

for the Best Film of the Decade.

Join us after the break,

we'll playing those semifinals

and then we'll be finding

the Best Film of the Decade.

See you in a bit.

APPLAUSE

Hello there, welcome back to

World Cup Of The Decade.

We left you on a cliffhanger,

we left you with the four

semifinalists for the Best Film of the

Decade. Let's take a look at what they are.

We have Wolf Of Wall Street versus Deadpool

and we have Toy Story 3 versus Inception.

Wolf Of Wall Street or Deadpool,

what do we think's going to win

that?

Deadpool! OK, thank you, Lorraine.

Anybody else have an opinion, or?

Wolf Of Wall Street.

He was the first person to.

He invented Wows.

Let's find out what our first finalist

in the Best Film of the Decade is.

Wolf Of Wall Street. Boo!

Wolf Of Wall Street.

Boo. That's annoyed Lorraine.

What is Wolf Of Wall Street going

to face in that final?

Is it Toy Story 3 or is it

Inception? Let's find out.

Yes. Toy Story, safely through.

APPLAUSE

So, we have our final.

Lot of films released this decade.

We narrowed it down to 16 on

Twitter,

they narrowed it down to two, we are

now down to those final two.

And they are Wolf Of Wall Street

versus Toy Story 3.

Very, very similar films.

Erm, what do we think's going to

win this, Best Film of the Decade?

Toy Story 3.

Erm, Toy Story 3, audience?

MANY: Yes.

Anyone for Wolf Of Wall Street?

Yeah.

Four people, all of whom, by the way,

are doing lines of coke as we speak.

Let's find out, shall we?

What is the Best Film of the Decade?

Is it Wolf Of Wall Street or is

it Toy Story 3?

It's a landslide.

It's a landslide for Toy Story 3.

APPLAUSE

There we have it.

Listen, we've had four categories,

we've got four winners.

We have one more job to do, though.

We know what our winners are.

Sherlock won the Best Film, Best Song was

Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars,

Best New Thing was emojis,

and Best Film was Toy Story 3.

What is the Best Thing

of the Decade?

If you had to choose, Alex,

out of those? Emojis.

Emojis,

the Best Thing of the entire Decade.

It's been a tough ten years.

Rhianna, if you had to choose

one of these four?

As a film critic, I can't not say

Toy Story 3, of course.

Toy Story 3. Lorraine? If it's not

Deadpool, it's gotta be Toy Story 3.

Er. Jon?

LAUGHTER

And audience, we need you to choose

The Best Thing of the whole Decade

from those four winners, please.

I'm gonna give you ten seconds to

vote. Your time starts now.

Isn't it nice, by the way,

to have a vote where you actually

want one of them to win?

It makes a change, doesn't it?

OK, then, what is

the Best Thing of the Decade?

In fourth place it is?

Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson.

Isn't it awful to be the Best Song of the Decade

and then go, "Oh, I'm last. I came last!"

11%. Not as good as emojis.

Erm, in third place?

Oh. On 22! Can I say something?

If you fuckers have voted emojis,

I mean, come on.

LAUGHTER

Erm, let's find out what is

the Greatest Thing of the Decade.

Is it emojis, is it Toy Story 3?

The Greatest Thing of the Decade is?

Oh. Toy Story 3!

APPLAUSE

Beautiful. Well done.

Well done, audience.

That's nice.

The Greatest Thing of the Decade is

officially Toy Story 3.

Audience, you did beautifully.

Thank you so much,

Congratulations to Toy Story 3.

Here's a...

This is a beautiful little scene.

Now, Woody, he's been my pal

for as long as I can remember.

He's brave, like a cowboy should be.

And kind, and smart.

But the thing that makes

Woody special

is he'll never give up on you, ever.

He'll be there for you,

no matter what.

You think you can take care

of him for me?

OK, then.

GIGGLES

Ah, beautiful.

APPLAUSE

Beautiful.

Alex, Rhianna, Lorraine, Jon,

thank you so much for joining us.

Thank you so much at home, thank you

to everybody who voted, as well,

on Twitter for all these wonderful

World Cups of the Decade.

Been an absolute pleasure.

And we'll see you all again

in ten years' time.

APPLAUSE

Subtitles by Red Bee Media

Richard Osman's World Cup of the Decade (2019) - full transcript