Richard Osman's World Cup of the Decade (2019) - full transcript
This programme contains strong
language and adult humour.
Hello, everybody and welcome along
to the World Cup Of The Decade,
how lovely to have you here.
Over the next 90 minutes we are
gonna be revealing the winners
of a series of huge Twitter polls to
find the best things of the decade.
This evening, we are gonna find out
the winners of the best TV show,
the best song, the best new thing
and the best film of the 2010s.
But a lot has changed in the decade.
At the start of the decade
Orange ls The New Black
was a television programme, and now
orange is the new black is
the way of remembering
the sequence of US presidents.
That's how we remember them.
Things change.
Things change.
At the start of the decade
we all ate meat,
at the end of the decade,
we're all vegans.
There was that brief
bit in the middle of the decade
when we were all eating meat, but
all the meat was made out of horse.
Do you remember that?
But the biggest change
of the decade,
in 2010 Prince Andrew could
not sweat.
And now look at the guy, he is...
It is rolling off him
in buckets, this guy.
Er, we're gonna find out all sorts
of fun things about the decade.
I want you to welcome, please,
though, my guests, who are gonna be
chatting through all these polls,
they're gonna be telling us
their favourites, they're gonna be
furious about some of the winners,
as are you. Enjoy yourself, though.
Please welcome Mr Jon Richardson.
APPLAUSE
Lorraine Kelly.
Rhianna Dhillon.
And Mr Alex Brooker.
Hey, everybody. Hello, there.
Jon? Hello.
Have you had a good decade?
Lots of changes in your life.
Yes, well, I'm wearing...
This shirt is my decade,
because I bought this
at the start of the decade.
Yeah, I can... You can tell.
JON CHUCKLES
I wore it for my first DVD
buttoned up, and now look.
I mean...
That's a good decade, innit, that?
And the fact that you said DVD,
which was something we used to have,
wasn't it, in 2010s, as well?
Yeah, I just missed the VHS boom.
Sadly. Lorraine, how lovely to
have you here. Thank you.
I didn't like calling you Lorraine
Kelly because I think you should be
Dame Lorraine Kelly. Oh, no, no.
Is that something we can look
forward to in the next decade?
No absolutely not, no. Who thinks
Lorraine Kelly should be a dame?
No, don't.
AUDIENCE CHEERS
Dame. They've offered it to you,
though, right?
No, they have not. It'll never
happen. Never in a million years.
If they've offered it to you, wink.
No, honestly, they really haven't.
She just winked, she winked.
Rhianna, how lovely to have you
here.
You're here to help me
out with all sorts of facts
and figures because you...
Know everything about
movies, about TV, you're a film
critic, all that kind of malarkey,
you also are our youngest person. I
wonder if you can tell us, Rhianna,
how old were you at the start
of the decade?
RICHARD SIGHS
Just a wee baby. 20 years old. Yeah.
That's depressing, isn't it?
I tell you what, though,
it's a good trick if you wanna find
out how old someone is,
ask them how old they were ten years
ago, because they like the answer,
and the maths is really easy.
Nice to have you here.
Alex Brooker? Hello. Nice to
have you here.
Now, what a decade for you,
what were you doing in 2010?
Oh, man.
No, it is not, and thank the
good Lord for that.
Now, we're gonna start this
evening with telly,
cos we're gonna find
the best TV show of the decade.
Now, what we did, we put out a whole
series of polls on Twitter,
everybody voted,
over 2.5 million votes we got,
we got the 16 highest qualifiers and
we split them into four groups,
and we're gonna find out who wins
each of those groups.
OK? Four groups, each winner goes
through to the semifinals.
Now, TV shows, 16 of 'em, shall we
take a look at our first group?
What would you like to win
out of this group, please?
Our first group is...
Line Of Duty, Black Mirror,
Great British Bake Off,
and Ru Paul's Drag Race.
Anyone got any particular
favourites? Oh, this is too hard.
You've got Line Of Duty and Ru Paul.
We have. How can I choose?
That's like choosing your favourite
child. Cannot. Well, no, you do.
Line Of Duty, any Line Of Duty fans
here? Love Line Of Duty. Love it.
When I was watching,
one of them started saying Haitch
instead of Aitch, like, which is
the thing that comes in,
but I just think it'd be one of the
great grammatical jokes of all time
if Aitch and Haitch are two
different people.
One of my absolutely favourite
things about Line Of Duty -
I think one of everyone's favourite
things - was Ted Hastings,
played by Adrian Dunbar, and
certainly as the series went on,
as well, he just became a succession
of catchphrases,
but all of which were brilliant.
Shall we take a little look at some
of them now?
We are only interested in one thing
and one thing only,
and that is bent coppers.
Bent coppers. Bent coppers.
Bent coppers. Bent copper.
Bent coppers... I didn't float up
the Lagan on a bubble.
Mother of God. Mother of God.
Mother of God. Mother of God.
Mother of God.
We weren't born yesterday, fella.
Fella. Fella. Fella. Fella.
Fella. Fella. Fella.
I think you should sit down, fella,
or I'll handcuff you to that desk.
I've never seen the show.
Was that one scene?
Cos I found that very
difficult to follow.
Yeah, yeah, that's er...
It's essentially just
that for four series.
Right, OK. Yeah. I'll give it a go.
I mean, it's mad, cos they're
in a room just
talking about procedure, and you
think that's gonna be really,
really dull, and it's so brilliant,
isn't it? It's so, so well done.
Beautifully written.
Now, Rhianna, Black Mirror?
Yes, we did start the decade with
someone essentially having
sex with a pig in a drama,
and we sort of ended it with
a prime minister
genuinely having sex with a pig.
Allegedly.
Which is... That's a funny...
Oh, come on, he did it.
Were you there? Were you there?
Did you see?
He is not gonna sue.
Like he wants anyone to know
where he is.
We've got... That's very true.
...we've got a good clean ten years
of Cameron not showing his face.
Erm, anyone here
a fan of Great British Bake Off?
Yes.
Are you? Yes. No, it's too tense.
It's supposed to be about scones.
It's only one tent and they're all
in...
But it's too... it's too
stressful.
Er, see, I think Bake Off,
I like Bake Off
because I don't think it's
stressful at all.
I'm gonna show you a clip now.
I think that
if this is the most stressful
thing that's ever happened
in your series,
it's not a stressful series.
Oh, man, that was awful.
Oh, it's... Oh, it's going,
it's going.
BLEEP
It's gonna fall.
BLEEP
Oh, God. No!
Oh, BLEEP. Oh, man. Oh, my God.
I mean... Too tense.
Noel's thinking, "This is the best
thing that's happened
"since I got this job."
Er, what do we think should win
this group, everybody?
Oh.
But Black Mirror was brilliant,
but the Star Trek episode...
That's a good one.
Absolutely. I know, but then Line Of
Duty. Yeah, I like...
And then Ru Paul,
how can you not have Ru Paul?
Oh, Lorraine,
it's great to have you on the show.
I'd say Line Of Duty.
You're going Line Of Duty. Rhianna?
Lorraine?
I'm gonna say Ru Paul. Jon?
I think the only show there that is
so successful
we'd turn the world into a spin-off
episode is Black Mirror.
Black Mirror.
Well, let's find out what was
fourth on the list.
What came last?
Drag Race. Awwww!
Just 6% for Drag Race.
What came third?
Black Mirror, 26%.
So who's going through to
the semifinal?
It's either gonna be Line Of Duty,
or it's gonna be Great British Bake
Off.
Audience, what would you like?
AUDIENCE SHOUTS OUT ANSWERS
I think that was 48/52,
so let's... let that go, shall we?
Er, our first semifinalist
in The World Cup Of The Decade,
Best TV Show is...
Line Of Duty goes first. Yay.
Line Of Duty.
It is brilliant. Oh, it's fantastic.
It is brilliant. If you haven't
seen it, do try and...
It's genius. Catch up on it.
It's terrific stuff.
Line Of Duty is through to the
semifinal. What's it gonna face?
It's gonna face the winner of these
four TV shows.
And they are Gogglebox.
Yeah!
Killing Eve. Brilliant.
Planet Earth 2, and Game Of Thrones.
There's some big hitters in this,
everything's a big hitter
though, it's only 16 shows
from across the whole decade.
What does anyone fancy there?
APPLAUSE
I have to say, I've never seen
a frame of Game Of Thrones.
Not one single one.
I haven't either, Lorraine.
Have you not?
I thought I was the only
person, I'm so happy.
I do know there's a dragon in it
and a man called Jon Snow
and they tell him he doesn't know
anything, but that's about it.
I know that, and there's something
about winter is coming,
I think there are breasts,
I think that's correct.
Oh, go on, then.
Is it something you know?
I've never said this before -
what do you think at home,
how many breasts are there
in Game Of Thrones?
This is a fun game to play
with your kids. Erm...
Rhianna, how many breasts
are there in Game Of Thrones?
134 breasts?!
That's one penis a season.
To be fair, though, winter is
coming, so it may have been more.
So, yeah, they do...
I tell you who I'm worried for -
the viewer at home who's just
answered this and got it right
in front of all of their family.
Very true. Let's move on, shall we,
to Gogglebox.
Fans... fans of Gogglebox?
Yes. Yes.
Of course we love Gogglebox because
it's good, firstly, Lorraine,
and second, we know
they're watching us.
So, you've gotta be nice,
haven't you?
I mean, listen, I love the
Siddiquis. If you're watching, guys,
lovely to see ya!
Because they might feature this.
Who are your least favourite
Goggleboxers, Jon?
I think, at best, you need one posh
family,
that would be my comment.
Giles and Mary.
Giles and Mary'll do.
And Steph and Dom in their day...
Yeah... had a role to play.
Nowadays, sometimes there's
three or four posh families,
and that doesn't do it for me.
Does it not?
I would, and I'm a huge
fan of the show, I think
it's one of the best things on
telly.
There are people now watching
they'll be intercutting,
there'll be people going, "I hope
he's not talking about us, darling."
Pass the Cointreau.
Er, that is Gogglebox.
Now, Planet Earth 2... Oh.
..er, is a wonderful show.
Shall we take a little look at
Planet Earth 2?
Please. So many clips we could've
chosen. I know.
Er, here's a very, very tense clip,
though.
You'll all remember this one.
It's like a proper
Hollywood car chase, except the cars
are an iguana and some snakes.
Oh, yeah.
TENSE MUSIC PLAYS
Phew! Thank the Lord!
Oh, my God.
Oh! Nearly as tense as Bake Off.
That was tense. That was tense.
The more I watch that clip, the more
it's like watching Arsenal defend.
There's loads of them around him,
how's he got through there?
That's not like
the Daily Mail...
...to accuse someone of fakery.
No?
Probably a younger iguana who'd
had a bit of Botox.
It would've been a bit cruel to
let him get to the top
and then put him back.
Last one in this group, Killing Eve,
this is essentially a show
about two women who want to kill
each other,
it's the Coleen Rooney,
Rebecca Vardy story, essentially.
Er, fans of Killing Eve?
Oh, I love it. Isn't
it the best?
Absolutely fantastic.
And Phoebe Waller-Bridge,
who I suspect we'll be seeing
a little bit more of later.
No spoilers, but I wonder if one of
her other shows has qualified for
our 16. Oh, I would think so.
Erm, shall we take a look at what
came last in this group?
Gogglebox came last. OK, OK.
I've gone on record of saying
I disagree with that,
I would've put it first,
Goggleboxers. 13%.
Er, in third place?
Oh. Planet Earth 2? Oh,
that's... that's a shocker.
That's crazy, so Killing Eve versus
Game Of Thrones.
What do we think's
gonna win this one?
Killing Eve. You think? Yeah.
Game Of Thrones.
Game Of Thrones? Let's take a look.
Erm, going through to the
semifinals to play
Line Of Duty is...
Game Of Thrones goes through.
Oh. OK. OK.
There is our first
semifinal right there,
Line Of Duty versus Game Of Thrones.
We will get to that in a moment.
It's time for a break -
see you in a minute.
Welcome back to
World Cup of the Decade.
Now, we were discussing
the TV Show of the Decade.
Two more groups to go.
Here is group C.
What is going to win this?
What's going through
to the semifinal from this?
You could have Peaky Blinders,
Derry Girls,
Downton Abbey,
or Love Island,
which is a Downton Abbey spin-off.
LAUGHTER
Some pretty good
ones on that, isn't there?
I'm not criticising the draw
but I think Gogglebox pisses
that group, I think.
You reckon? Yeah.
APPLAUSE
Derry Girls is my childhood,
Derry Girls. It's just like...
I just loved it so much,
I laughed so much.
Shall we have a little look at a clip
of Derry Girls? Oh, it's so good.
It's such a wonderful ensemble
piece. Here's a clip
where you see
all the girls together
and they've got such amazing
chemistry. I love them.
Look, whatever happens in there
we have to stick together, OK?
We have to back each other up.
HYSTERICALLY: So it had nothing to
do with me!
Yes, OK, I was there, I admit that.
But I didn't do anything!
It was Michelle!
It was all Michelle!
I'm not going down for something
I didn't do!
If anyone deserves to get punished,
it should be Michelle!
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
The wonderful Derry Girls.
Um, Love Island.
Any Love Island fans here? Yeah!
They asked me to go on
Celebrity Love Island,
but I said, "Look, if all I want to do
is get a tan and sleep with a celebrity,
I'll do Strictly."
LAUGHTER
SCATTERED BOOS
Don't boo that - they should stop fucking
each other. That's the... LAUGHTER
Alex, are you a fan of Love Island?
I just love everything about it.
I love the drama.
I mean, it's got drama. Oh, yeah,
for sure. It's got comedy.
I love the fact that they've managed
to get young British people
to go to Majorca and have sex,
and who would have thought that
was possible?
WQW!
And if we could just get them
off the electoral register.
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
Is that true,
nearly 100 thousand people?
That's what
I did this evening with the panel.
Um, now, Peaky Blinders.
I love Peaky Blinders.
I love Derry Girls
and I love Peaky Blinders,
two of my favourite shows in
the same group here.
Super sweary, Rhianna,
right, Peaky Blinders?
This sounds like Love Island so far.
LAUGHTER
Oh.
It was originally called
Brum Loving Criminals.
LAUGHTER
I genuinely love Peaky Blinders.
Here's a lovely clip from
Peaky Blinders.
It does have a bit of swearing,
but it shows how kind of...
It can be very violent, but also
funny and also so beautifully acted.
Let's take a little
look at the clip,
just before Tommy Shelby's wedding.
But the main thing is,
you bunch of fuckers,
despite the provocation
from the cavalry,
no fighting.
Oi.
No fighting.
No fucking fighting.
No fighting.
No fucking fighting!
Good.
Get the fuck away.
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
That was fantastic.
There's something about that
swearing in that accent
that's just really...
Well, especially
if Cillian Murphy's doing it.
"Satisfying. Yeah.
It's managed to make the Birmingham
accent sound quite cool.
Well, its managed to make about 40 different
variations of the Birmingham accent soundcool.
The last one on the list -
Downton Abbey.
Some people don't watch Downton because
they think it's a bit too gentle.
I have to say, every time I watch it,
it seems just to be Maggie Smith tutting
because they've installed
a landline.
Have you ever seen any Downton, Jon?
No, I'm afraid not.
There's so many
other channels, um...
LAUGHTER
So, listen, time to make a choice.
What would we like to win
this group? Alex?
For me it's between Love Island
and Peakys.
I probably... Do you know what,
I'd probably say -
and don't hate me for it - Love Island.
Listen, man, someone's got to do it. Rhianna?
Lorraine?
Derry Girls. Derry Girls as well.
Jon? We should get some
comedy through.
Let's get Derry Girls. Derry Girls as well. So
three for Derry Girls, one for Love Island.
What do you think at home?
Let's find out what came last
in this poll.
Oh, Alex, I'm so sorry.
Oh, well. I'm so sorry.
People don't know good telly when
they see it. 10%. What was third?
Downton with 16%. Interesting!
So Peaky Blinders versus Derry Girls.
Oh! Still in there with a shout,
Derry Girls.
Let's take a look.
What did the public say on Twitter?
Peaky Blinders.
That is our third semifinalist.
We have three semifinalists,
one more to go.
There's Line of Duty versus
Game of Thrones.
Peaky Blinders is going to play
the winner of this last group.
And it is...
...Fleabag... Oh, genius.
...Stranger Things,
The Only Way ls Essex...
I know, right? I know.
LAUGHTER
Come on.
...and Sherlock.
That is this group.
Let's take a look at Sherlock,
shall we?
Huge hit, started in 2010, Sherlock.
Oh, it's good.
It's gone all around the world.
It has fans everywhere in the world.
We've got a picture here, I think,
of Justin Trudeau who went as Sherlock
to his last Halloween party...
I don't think he did it particularly
well. You'll be the judge of that.
...which is good news cos his second
choice was Luther, so...
LAUGHTER
Oh, dear.
Fans of Sherlock? Very much so.
Sometimes a wee bit too clever
for its own good,
but very well done.
You like a bit of Sherlock, Jon? Do love
a bit of Sherlock, yeah. Yeah, it's good.
And all the words on the screen and all that.
I like that, yeah. I like that, it's great.
There's loads
of fan fiction for Sherlock.
They do fan fiction where Holmes
and Watson get up to stuff, right.
Oh, they do that with Star Trek.
Yeah, well, they do it
for Pointless. Right?
Do they? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Do they really?
Tell me everything. Tell
me everything.
Everybody in this room -
and at home -
is imagining you having sex
with Alexander Armstrong.
That's all I'm doing.
Because normally, normally
it's just me imagining that.
It's nice... It's nice to be able
to share it.
JON IMITATES POINTLESS COUNTDOWN
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
Listen, Fleabag is the last
on my list. Oh. Yes.
Killing Eve already knocked out,
but Fleabag has been...
I mean, an extraordinary show of the
decade. Oh, absolutely fantastic.
There's nothing bad to say about it
and in the second series we had
the hot priest,
so that was even better.
Ah, the hot priest.
So, yeah.
Shall we take a little look at the hot priest? But
we'll take a look also at Phoebe Waller-Bridge,
the genius behind the show.
This is where she traditionally
breaks the fourth wall.
I'd really like to be your
friend, though.
I'd like to be your friend too.
We'll last a week.
What was that?
What?
Where did you... Where did you
just go?
What?
You just... went somewhere.
There.
There.
Where did you just go?
SHE CHUCKLES
Nowhere.
Ah, Fleabag there.
And Andrew Scott, to be fair,
does look exactly like a cross
between Ant and Dec.
LAUGHTER
I mean, that is definitely true.
Let's find out our final
semifinalist, shall we?
Last in this group,
can you believe it?
It's The Only Way ls Essex,
with 2% of the votes.
Third place in this group...
Oh, get out of it. Oh, no!
That's a shock. Shocker.
28% .
British public... No.
...what are they thinking?
There are a lot of women who want to
see a priest get noshed off in there.
LAUGHTER
Is that what women want?
That happened, didn't it? Did it?
Yeah, I think, yeah, something happened,
didn't it? She gets down and...
I never saw that.
No, but that was part
of the ritual of the...
...of the religious theme.
Was it not? I mean...
Quite how you got
to your age, Lorraine...
LAUGHTER
No, it's all part of the ceremony.
It's part of the ritual, you know.
That was a very milky communion.
Oh!
GROANS
Lorraine literally just made
the sign of the cross at you there.
Our final semifinalist for the World
Cup of the Decade TV Show is...
...Sherlock.
APPLAUSE
That's fair enough.
OK.
Here are our semifinals -
Line of Duty will play
Game of Thrones,
Peaky Blinders will play Sherlock.
One of those four is the Best TV
Show of the Decade,
according to our huge Twitter poll.
First semifinal,
Line of Duty versus Game of Thrones.
Who do we think's going to win?
Alex? Line of Duty.
Rhianna?
Line of Duty.
Gogglebox.
LAUGHTER
I'm with Jon. I agree, Gogglebox.
I can tell you this one was 49/51.
Wow. Those were the numbers.
GASPS
Our first finalist in the World Cup
of the Decade Best TV Show is...
Game of Thrones just takes it.
No, no, no.
APPLAUSE
I guess it's understandable. Hm.
Second semifinal.
What's going to play Game of Thrones in
that final - Peaky Blinders or Sherlock?
Alex? I'd like to think
Peaky Blinders.
I'd love Peaky Blinders. Rhianna?
Lorraine?
I'll... I don't mind. Sherlock.
They're both brilliant. Jon?
It's flat cap versus deerstalker,
isn't it, I guess, so... It kind of is.
I'll go flat cap. You go flat for...
You're going Peaky.
I'd go Peaky as well and we know
what that means.
It means that Sherlock's almost
certainly going to win.
Audience, Peaky or Sherlock?
AUDIENCE:
The audience is going for Sherlock.
Let's find out what is playing Game
of Thrones in the final. It is...
Oh, no. Sherlock.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERS
Sherlock v Game of Thrones.
Listen, we have the small matter
of a final to attend to. Yes.
It's the World Cup of the Decade,
but what is the Best Television Show
of the Decade?
We know it's Game of Thrones
or Sherlock.
Anyone got a big favourite here?
Game of Thrones, then.
Sherlock.
Sherlock, but I think Thrones will win. Two
each. You think Game of Thrones will win? Yeah.
Let's take a look. The Best TV Show
of the Decade is...
...Sherlock is our winner.
Sherlock is our winner.
Congratulations to Sherlock.
Let's just show one little
clip in celebration of Sherlock.
This is Andrew Scott and
Benedict Cumberbatch
in a wonderful scene from the Best
TV Show Of The Decade, Sherlock.
Well, I'd better be off.
So nice to have had a proper chat.
What if I was to shoot you now?
Right now.
Then you could cherish
the look of surprise on my face...
...cos I'd be surprised, Sherlock.
Really, I would.
And just a teensy bit...
"disappointed.
And, of course, you wouldn't be able
to cherish it for very long.
Ciao,
Sherlock Holmes.
Catch you...
"later.
IN SING-SONG VOICE: No, you won't.
DOOR SLAMS SHUT
Oh, it is good, it is good.
Ladies and gentlemen,
The Best TV Show Of The Decade,
Sherlock.
Now, I think it's important for all
of us,
at this point in the show,
maybe to pause,
maybe to reflect on some
of the things
that we've lost along the way
in this decade.
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
AUDIENCE:
LAUGHTER
AUDIENCE:
Who is she?!
Who is she?!
Who is she? Where did
you find her?
LAUGHTER
Obama out.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERS
I honestly...
I honestly thought I was going to make it through that
and then Ceefax turned up. I couldn't deal with it.
Those are the things we've
lost along the way this decade.
Join us after the break, please,
where we'll be finding out
The Best Song Of The Decade.
Hello, there, welcome back to
World Cup Of The Decade.
Before the break, we discovered
the Best TV Show of the Decade
was Sherlock,
according to our huge Twitter poll.
We're about to find out
the Best Song of the Decade.
Again, 16 finalists,
we draw them in to four groups,
the winner of each group goes
through to our semifinals,
shall we have a little
listen to the songs in group one?
# She's up all night till the sun
# I'm up all night to get some
# She's up all night for good fun
# I'm up all night to get lucky... #
# I let my guard down
# And then you pulled the rug
# I was getting kind of used to
being someone you loved... #
# Hey, I just met you
# And this is crazy
# But here's my number
# So call me maybe
# It's hard to look right at you,
baby
# But here's my number
# So call me maybe... #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Banger after banger, there.
All killer, no filler.
Any favourites there?
I absolutely love Call Me Maybe.
It's a good song, right?
Genuinely, I had it as my ringtone
for a little while
when it first came out.
I absolutely love it,
I mean, it's terrible advice,
dishing your number out left, right
and centre, but what a great song.
Also, great video.
Not in a pervy way.
LAUGHTER
Video Games, that might be
one of my favourite songs of
the decade. Yeah?
She wrote it about sort of just
hanging out with her
boyfriend who was playing
World of Warcraft. Oh, yeah.
I thought it was a bit meh.
Really? Yeah.
Lewis Capaldi just, amazing.
Lewis Capaldi? Oh, he's your
favourite?
Love him, Lewis, he's my favourite,
I just think he's so cute
and so gorgeous and so funny and he
doesn't take himself very seriously.
He is brilliantly self-deprecating
as well.
He's got this little documentary
called Becoming Lewis Capaldi,
there's a little clip here
where he goes through this
tough process of writing lyrics.
This book right here's just, I just
constantly, I write something,
I can write something now,
"I love you, I love you,
why did you leave me?
"Please don't leave me, seriously,
please don't leave me.
"I love you, please don't leave me.
"Don't leave me.
"I don't want to live
with my parents any more."
I adore him. He's wonderful.
You've gotta like the guy.
He's wonderful.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He really is.
I don't...
A couple of years ago,
he was nowhere,
and now he's one of the biggest
stars in the world.
I've had gigs like that.
LAUGHTER
Huge fan of Lewis Capaldi.
Now, Get Lucky by Daft Punk
was an absolutely huge song,
I met one of Daft Punk
the other day.
I had a Deliveroo.
LAUGHTER
Um, so, but we know who they are,
right?
They're a couple of French guys.
Darren Anderton
and Teddy Sherringham.
Yeah.
So let's find our fourth placed
song first.
Video Games.
I love that song,
anyway, 12% for that.
Third place?
Oh, Don't Call Me, Carly Rae, 21%,
so it's between,
Get Lucky by Daft Punk,
a classic from the middle of
the decade
and the new kind of hot kid
on the block,
Lewis Capaldi with
Someone You Loved.
Um, let's find out,
what's our first semifinalist
in the Best Song of the Decade?
I mean, it had to be, right?
I think it had to be.
APPLAUSE
So Get Lucky by Daft Punk
is our first semifinalist.
What is it going to
play in its semifinal?
One of these four songs.
# Cos all of me
# Loves all of you
# Love your curves
and all your edges
# All your perfect imperfections...
#
# Cos the players gonna play,
play, play, play, play
# And the haters gonna hate, hate,
hate, hate, hate
# Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake,
shake, shake, shake
# I shake it off
I shake it off... #
# Never mind,
I'll find someone like you
# I wish nothing
but the best for you too... #
Oh. Four good songs there.
APPLAUSE
That is a tough group.
Now, you won't have seen
while that was on,
two of the members of our panel,
namely me and Lorraine,
I think our favourite song
is the same one.
Which is Despacito, right?
It's so good.
I love Despacito.
So, so good.
What a fantastic song.
We do Zumba to that.
We shake everything.
It's so... But it's quite hard to
sing along to, right?
No-one knows the words,
but it doesn't stop you, you know,
you just kinda put in, you know...
# One day I saw a mosquito
# Which had some chilli
heatwave Doritos... #
You just kind of make your own.
I think that is the lyrics to the
song.
I've never heard that song
until now.
You've never heard Despacito?
It's so good.
They don't really play
it in Morrison's.
Now John Legend, All of Me,
best-selling single of 2014,
he also got voted the sexiest
man in the world, right?
All Of Me is like, it's one of those
songs
that's, like, so many people
have had it
as their, like, first dance.
It was in the mixer for mine.
The lyrics didn't really
resonate with me,
cos as someone who's,
like, missing bits...
LAUGHTER
If the lyrics had been, like,
# What remains of me... #
LAUGHTER
Then I could've got on board.
Yeah, come on, Jon, I didn't
think All Of Me
is John Legend's best
song of the decade even.
This is a man who can make anything
sound amazing,
I think this is John Legend's best
song of the decade.
# Somebody's got a stinky boo... #
I may need some backup on this one.
Guys?
# Somebody
Somebody
# Got a stinky
So stinky
# Booty Booty, booty, booty... #
APPLAUSE
When I change my kids' nappies,
I'm too busy retching to sing.
And the final one on that group,
Taylor Swift's advice
to any man standing at a urinal,
Shake It Off, big fans of,
any fans of that song?
You're not gonna shake it off.
Shake it a bit,
but not till it comes off.
LAUGHTER
No.
Just give it a little wiggle.
So what's gonna win this group,
do we think?
It's a tough one. Adele.
I hope Despacito.
I would love to think Despacito,
I don't think we've got
a hope in hell, love, I think
it's got to be Adele, don't you?
OK, now let's find out
what came fourth.
Oh, get outa town.
Boo.
Get outa town. 13%.
It'll always be our song.
It's our song, it is.
And third place.
John Legend.
Not so cocky now, are you, John?
It's between Someone Like You
and Shake it Off
to be our second semifinalist.
The second semifinalist is...?
Adele gets through,
well done, Adele.
APPLAUSE
There she is, taking her
place in the semifinal
against Get Lucky by Daft Punk.
Um, shall we look at group three?
Best Song of the Decade, what is it?
Is it one of these four?
# ..hallelujah
# Girls hit your hallelujah
# Girls hit your hallelujah
# Cos uptown funk gon'
give it to you
# Cos uptown funk gon'
give it to you
# Cos uptown funk gon'
give it to you
# Saturday night and we in the spot
# Don't believe me just watch... #
# Who run this motha, girls
# Who run this motha, girls
# Who run this motha, girls
# Who run this motha, girls
# Who run the world? Girls
# Who run the world? Girls
# Who run the world? Girls
# Who run the world? Girls... #
APPLAUSE
Now, the more numerate amongst you
would've spotted
there was only three clips there
and that's cos the last one,
Do I Wanna Know by Arctic Monkeys,
we couldn't play it
because they're too cool,
and so we then found a clip
of a guy playing it on the guitar
with his dog accompanying him
on snare drum,
and they said, "No, you can't have
that one either."
So, what do we think on that one?
Uptown Funk, absolutely huge hit,
lots of people have claimed to have
written it, right?
Lots of lawsuits.
Oh, I was gonna say about that song,
the reason I like it
is it sounds like it could've
been from sort of any decade.
Mm. And it turns out it is
from any decade.
Shape Of You, Ed Sheeran,
an absolutely enormous hit record,
Shape Of You,
anyone Ed Sheeran fans here?
Oh, yeah, you have to be,
it's the law.
He's like the Lewis Capaldi of
the early 2010s, isn't he?
The whole decade.
Billions.
Arctic Monkeys, though,
are you a fan?
Um, I've never heard the song
and now I know I'm not gonna
tonight.
Am I allowed to whistle it?
Yeah.
Oh, I'm smiling now,
I can't whistle.
What's going on?
It's hard to, it's hard to whistle
when you're smiling.
Here we go, ladies and gentlemen,
Mr Jon Richardson.
The Northern Monkeys. V00.
LAUGHTER
I'm really nervous now.
I've never whistled on telly before.
Right, come on.
HE WHISTLES DO I WANNA KNOW?
APPLAUSE
You'll kick yourself, you remember
it now, don't you?
Alex Turner is a genius, isn't he?
Yeah.
Let's take a look, shall we,
at what came fourth in this group,
gonna find another semifinalist,
it is not going to be...
Beyonce. Oh! 10%, that's a surprise.
In third place was...
...Ed Sheeran. No!
In third place, knocked out, 16%.
See, maybe people are fed up with
it.
Arctic Monkeys or Mark Ronson
and Bruno Mars,
what's going through
to our semifinal?
It's Mark Ronson
and Bruno Mars, Uptown Funk.
That's fair enough again.
Come on.
What is it gonna play in that
semifinal?
It's gonna play
one of these four songs,
or once again one of these
three songs
because someone else wouldn't let us
play their song.
I'll tell you what it is
after these.
# I got the eye of the tiger,
a fighter,
# Dancing through the fire
# Cos I am a champion
# And you're going to hear me
roar... #
# I know when that hotline bling
# That can only mean one thing
# I know when that hotline bling
# That can only mean one thing... #
APPLAUSE
The song we're not allowed
to play there,
the fourth song is
Happy by Pharrell.
If you do want to listen to Happy,
by the way,
just call a mini cab,
it'll be playing, you can hear it.
I saw a statistic about Happy,
it said
"If you listen to every single
stream of that back-to-back,
"it would take you back to the time
when they built Stonehenge."
That's how far back it would go.
Wow.
Which, of course, is a room without
a roof, so it is apt.
Any fans of Sia?
Is it really?
That's quite strident
for a ringtone.
They must love you in a quiet
carriage.
Shall we take a look at what
has won this group?
Let's see what came fourth.
Hotline Bling.
Do you think?
That was my favourite of those.
Really?
OK.
No, he didn't.
No, he didn't.
That's like the sort of thing
that someone says down the pub,
"Came out with Yolo, didn't ya?"
Third place.
Katy Perry, it's 15%. Oh.
So it's either Happy by Pharrell,
or it's Chandelier by Sia.
What's gonna be our final
semifinalist,
Best Song of the Decade, it is...
Happy by Pharrell.
Gotta be.
Got to be.
APPLAUSE
So let's take a look at those
semifinalists,
so it is three very similar songs
there, Get Lucky, Uptown Funk
and Happy, and Adele, flying
the flag there for the UK.
First semifinal, Get Lucky by Daft
Punk versus Someone Like You, Adele.
Alex, what's winning this one?
Get Lucky.
Rhianna?
Lorraine? I think Adele.
You think Adele.
Mn?
Yeah, I found myself
rooting for Adele.
I would root for Adele, I think
she's great.
Um, let's find our first finalist
World Cup of the Decade Best Song,
is it gonna be Get Lucky or is it
gonna be Someone Like You?
ALL: Oh!
51/49. Well done, Adele.
APPLAUSE
We've gotta hand it to her,
what is Adele playing in the final?
It's gonna be one of these
two songs.
Uptown Funk versus
Happy by Pharrell.
What do you think's gonna
win this, Alex?
Uptown Funk. Rhianna?
Oh, really? Lorraine?
Uptown Funk for me.
Jon? Gogglebox.
Really? I'm gonna go
Uptown Funk as well.
So let's take a look, shall we,
what's playing Adele in the final?
Uptown Funk, Mark Ronson
and Bruno Mars.
APPLAUSE
So our final is
Someone Like You by Adele against
Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson.
We're about to find out
the Best Song of the Decade
as voted on Twitter.
What is it, though, World Cup
of the Decade Best Song, it is...
Uptown Funk takes it,
Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars.
Fair enough, I think.
We've had Sherlock,
winner of the Best TV Show,
we've had Uptown Funk,
winner of the Best Song.
After the break, we're gonna find
the Best New Thing of the Decade.
Join us then.
APPLAUSE
APPLAUSE
Hello, there. Welcome back
to World Cup Of The Decade.
We've already discovered
the, Best TV Show Of The Decade.
That was Sherlock. We've discovered
the Best Song Of The Decade.
Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson
and Bruno Mars. We're now going to
look at the Best New Thing Of
The Decade.
It's something that emerged
after 2010.
We'll go straight to
the semifinals. I'll tell you
a few things that got knocked out
before the semis. We lost onesies,
we lost Greggs vegan sausage rolls,
and we lost the Higgs boson.
We only just found that.
Let's take a look at our semifinals,
shall we?
The first one is... These are things
that are new since 2010.
Emojis versus Uber.
Emojis versus... Anyone use both?
Yeah.
The monkey with its hands over
its eyes emoji is... Yeah?
...on its own is one of
the greatest inventions of all time
because it manages to soften
bad news perfectly.
It's like, you know, if your wide
texts you and says,
"I've gone into labour.
Where are you?"
and you reply with, "I'm at the
pub," you sound ignorant.
If you reply with,
"I'm at the pub"...
LAUGHTER
..it's like, "I know what I married,
"He's a cheeky little scamp,
isn't he?
And that's how you won
Dad Of The Year.
Some people... We think we know
what all these emojis mean.
Can I show you a terrifying clip
from American TV that tells us
sometimes we don't know the whole
truth about emojis?
To young people, emojis
can mean different things
and cyber experts say kids
are starting to use some
as a secret code that we,
as parents,
can't necessarily figure out.
A skull, arrow and a flame -
that can be saying to someone
"I hope you die in a fire."
LAUGHTER
just to give you a couple more
examples, we're bringing Casey in
to give her a little quiz here
because some of these are so simple.
Yeah, a flower. A flower. You think
that's just a flower, right?
It means you want to bring
your mother flowers. Wouldn't that
be nice? Yeah!
It can also mean drugs.
What do you think? We've got
two eyeballs here. I'm watching you.
Yes, that's one of them.
Oh, but, like, literally?
Again, these have a lot
of different meanings,
so, that can mean "I'm watching
you," but we're always worried
about sexting and this can also mean
"Send me naked pictures of you."
Oh, my God!
LAUGHTER
When he sees the poo
with the smiley face...
LAUGHTER
Who are these 7% of people
who are tweeting...?
They think, "Oh, I just need to
tweet about a peach."
Now, emojis are taking on Uber,
which is a thing of this decade
isn't it? But now, enormously
successful, Uber.
Uber was spoilt for me when
I realised that I was getting rated
as well... Yes, yes... and I
didn't... How the fuck
did I end up a 4.4 out of five
just by sitting down?
LAUGHTER
I don't understand it.
It's like... I think that's
one of the greatest advan...
Uber and Airbnb and things where
you are rated as a consumer,
there's not enough of that.
Oh, really?
It's just another way to shine.
LAUGHTER
I just, you know...
I want people to know I'm better
at being in a taxi
than other people. I screengrab...
What's your Uber rating? 4.99.
Everybody, Jon Richardson.
APPLAUSE
What do we think has won this,
emojis or Uber? What's in the final?
Emojis. Emojis. Oh, God. Let's have
a little look. Emojis or Uber?
Smiley face. It's emojis.
APPLAUSE
One additional fact there -
emojis and Uber paid the same amount
of tax in the UK last year.
LAUGHTER
The next semifinal is...
Two new things. Instagram,
I understand.
Fitbits got through to
the semifinal.
Anyone use a Fitbit? I used to.
I used to, but then, you know
that you're supposed to do 10,000
steps? Yes. But then, I would get
really, really close and it would be
bedtime, and I'd be walking up
and down my bedroom trying to make
it burst the 10,000 and I thought,
that's really sad, so I put it in
a drawer and I forgot all about it.
I gave it a proper go. I did it for,
like, three clays, and...
LAUGHTER
But I did start thinking, if you had
done your 10,000 steps every day
for the decade, I'm going to show
you how far you could have gone,
if you were just walking. Oh.
If we start in London, OK?
This is if you'd done 10,000 steps
a day, you could have walked
all the way - I mean, good luck
across the sea - to New York.
We don't stop there. We then walk
all the way down to Buenos Aires,
and we then walk all the way back to
London, and we've still got
200 miles leftover,
so we can go to Hull.
LAUGHTER
10,000 steps a day!
APPLAUSE
That is amazing. Amazing, right?
Instagram fans? I like Instagram
cos it's kind.
You're good on Instagram. I'm going
to compare your Instagram
to Jon's Instagram. Go on, then.
There's a couple of pictures
from Lorraine's. Here's a
beautifully shot... I think by
a professional photographer,
this must be. You as Lady Gaga.
Look at that. I mean, look at
the composition on that.
LAUGHTER
Yeah, I mean, come on.
And they're real, them ones.
LAUGHTER
Here's you at a Pride march. Awww.
Lovely Lorraine there.
They're gorgeous.
And, Jon, here is
a picture of your...
...cutlery drawer. Yay!
LAUGHTER
It's very neat.
APPLAUSE
Very neat.
Who's got the most Instagram
followers in the world, Rhianna?
Like, the Kardashian? Beyonce or...
Cristiano Ronaldo.
Really?!
Wow. What do we think's won this?
What's in the final?
Instagram or Fitbits? Instagram.
Instagram.
Must be, surely, Instagram.
Let's take a look. What's going
through to the final to play emojis?
It is...
...Instagram. Look at it there.
APPLAUSE
Emojis versus Instagram -
one of these is
the Best New Thing Of The Decade.
But which one is it? What do we
think? One word, Alex? Emojis.
Rhianna?
Lorraine? I think Instagram.
You think lnsta.
This will be a really good bit
of footage to show when
we don't get to the end of
the next decade
because the world is on fire. Yes.
This, this debate here will be...
LAUGHTER
...this is what I'll show to
my daughter.
Just say, "Look at the fun
we were having."
I noticed that electric cars
didn't make it past emojis
and that's why
we now live in a boat.
LAUGHTER
I asked you one question.
What's going to win,
emojis or Instagram? Oh, emojis.
Let's take a look, shall we?
The Best New Thing Of The Decade
is...
...emojis, by an absolute mile.
APPLAUSE
So, we have three winners already.
We have Sherlock, we have
Uptown Funk, and we have emojis.
Join us after the break, please,
where we'll be finding out
the winner of the Best Film
Of The Decade.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Welcome back to The World Cup
Of The Decade.
We've come to our final category.
It is a big one, though.
We're going to find
the Best Film Of The Decade.
We've got 16 finalists here.
Everyone voted on Twitter -
millions of votes.
Here is our first group,
here are our first four films.
We've got Bohemian Rhapsody.
AUDIENCE MEMBERS LAUGH
Joker.
Wolf Of Wall Street
and Frozen.
What have we got as favourites
in that one, everybody?
Nice.
Yeah, I haven't seen Frozen.
I know that Elsa is a very
strong, powerful, feminist hero,
I know that because I've seen
this clip of Elsa.
Let's take a look at it.
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
BYSTANDERS: Yeah! Whoo!
Beautiful.
APPLAUSE
That is Frozen.
So Bohemian Rhapsody, Rhianna,
had a very troubled start.
I wish it hadn't
but, yes, it did have a really...
I like Bo Rhap. It did have a really
troubled production because obvi...
They had different directors
coming in and out.
Sacha Baron Cohen
was supposed to be playing
Freddie Mercury before Rami Malek.
Can you imagine?
He wanted to take it down
a really dark, serious tone,
and they obviously didn't go
quite that way.
Erm, and then Rami Malek
obviously had to...
...had to keep those
teeth in for a whole production.
But he won an Oscar for it,
so it won a... He did.
It made a billion dollars.
It's nice to see Frozen up against
Wolf Of Wall Street,
two very similar...
LAUGHTER
Let's take a little look at
Wolf Of Wall Street.
So, there's a clip. Remember the
clip of Matthew McConaughey
pounding his chest? Yes.
And that was improvised, right?
Is it something he just...?
That's something that he does before
every film just to calm himself down,
and Leonardo DiCaprio
witnessed this one day
and was like,
"We need to get this in the film."
Cos it does look like he's an awful
coke-ridden banker when he does it.
So, that's actors for you.
Let's take a little look.
RHYTHMIC BEATING
Hey-um. Hey-um-mm.
Hey-um.
Umm-ha-yeah.
Mm-mm-mm-mm-uh.
HE WHISTLES THROUGH TEETH
Yeah.
Hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-mm-hm-mm-hm-hm.
Mm-hm-hm.
Toots ki?
APPLAUSE
You a fan of Wolf Of Wall Street,
Jon?
Yes, I liked it when he couldn't
get out of the car.
Channelled all the great
slapstick comedy.
It was a very good performance,
I have to say.
It's a pretty good film, isn't it?
Now, Joker is the newest one
on the list.
Joker up against Frozen
in the same group.
It's weird, right?
Yeah. And we're not allowed to show
a clip from Joker cos it's out
too recently, which is a shame
cos I wanted to show...
There's an extraordinary scene where
he's coming down the stairs,
he's dressed as the Joker for the
first time.
So, this is someone going downstairs
with almost the same amount
of dignity, I think, as the Joker,
and I think it has the same power
and affects us in the same way.
Let's take a look.
We've now got, oh, hold on a minute,
what's going on here?
There's two blokes going to go in...
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
I mean, you know, that's better
than the Joker, isn't it? Yeah.
APPLAUSE
Erm, so listen,
the battle of the big guns here.
What do we think's going to
win this group?
Oof. Frozen.
I would
like Wolf Of Wall Street to win it.
Yeah. Let's take a look.
Fourth place is...
Oh, come on.
Bo Rhap fourth.
Look at how happy everyone is
apart from me and Lorraine.
I know.
18% for that. Third place...
Joker.
Oh, here we go. Wolf Of Wall Street.
How many fucks were there in
Wolf Of Wall Street?
506, I think.
Right. Over 500.
And in Frozen, there's only seven.
So it's...
LAUGHTER
It's a close one.
It's a close one.
Er, what's going to be our...
LAUGHTER
Er, what's our first semifinalist?
Is it Wolf Of Wall Street?
Is it Frozen? Let's find out.
Wolf Of Wall Street. Yay!
The winner there.
First semifinalist.
What is Wolf of Wall Street going
to play? Let's take a look.
It's going to be one of these
four films.
Oh...
Paddington 2.
Need we go on?
Need we go on after Paddington 2?
Deadpool, The Force Awakens.
Deadpool. And Get Out.
Deadpool, Deadpool is... Yes?
...the best film ever.
I loved it so, so much.
The best film ever?
Well, my favourite film...
My favourite film in the world,
I suppose, would be Blade Runner.
The original, right?
The original one.
Oh, yeah, oh. But Deadpool...
No, the original, yeah.
No, the original one. Director's cut,
do you know what I mean? You know what?
IN COCKNEY ACCENT: I didn't really like
the remake. I found it a little bit gauche.
All About Eve or that one,
but Deadpool is up there.
It's absolute... It is a good film.
..perfection.
Erm, so, The Force Awakens,
that's a Star Wars movie.
Not so much kind of with the Marvel
cinematic universe,
Star Wars less of a big deal this
decade. Alex, you a Star Wars fan?
I loved Force Awakens. Did you?
I absolutely... No! ..loved it.
Even though I've come to realise since that it's
very much a remake of the original Star Wars.
Oh, you spotted that? Yeah.
But, it's not often like a sequel's
better than the first. Yes.
It's not, it's not the Godfather.
Godfather.
What's... Question is,
what's so good about Paddington 2?
We've got a little clip of
Paddington 2. Shall we see it?
Yes, please. It's got an amazing
cast of characters in Paddington,
a lot of them
on screen at one time here
when Paddington's family come
visit him in prison.
We think the thief you saw is
part of a criminal gang.
Using the pop-up book as a treasure
map. Well, it's a theory.
Have you found out who they are?
Maybe I should take a look.
I'm sorry, this is a private
conversation.
It's all right, Mr Brown.
This is my friend, Knuckles.
How are you? And this is Fibs.
Good day. Spoon. Hello.
Jimmy the Snitch.
♪ -Bone. Wotcher.
The Professor.
Hello. Squeaky Pete.
Double Bass Bob.
Hello. Farmer Jack. How do?
Mad Dog. Johnny Cashpoint.
Kerching.
Sir Geoffrey Wilcox.
I hope I can rely on your vote.
And Charlie Russell.
Oh! It's so wonderful
to meet you all.
Such a charming film.
A charming film.
The other film in this group,
Get Out, was an extraordinary film.
The only kind of horror we have
on our list.
Now, let's take a look at what came
fourth in that group, shall we?
Oh, Alex. Star Wars -
The Force Awakens.
How's Paddington 2 beaten that?
Hugh Grant says it's the best
movie he's ever made
and to be fair to him, it is.
Erm, in third place?
Get Out.
In third - that's a shame - 20%.
So it's between Paddington 2
and DeadpooL DeadpooL
Erm, let's find out, shall we?
Paddington 2 or Deadpool?
What's our next semifinalist?
Deadpool. Yay! Woohoo!
There we go.
APPLAUSE
So, Deadpool is up against Wolf of
Wall Street in our first semifinal.
Oh, that's tough.
It's a tough one, isn't it?
That's really hard, that's really
hard. Er, lot of "fucks" there.
Erm, our next semifinal, one of
them's going to come from this group.
Black Panther, La La Land,
Furious...
Sorry, it's supposed to say
Moonlight, erm...
Furious 7, which is also the name
of the WhatsApp group
of the mothers of Boris Johnson's
children...
LAUGHTER
...and Toy Story 3.
Toy Story 3. Any big favourites there? Black Panther,
a huge movie. First Marvel movie to winan Oscar.
It was a great story cos sometimes with
movies they forget to write a really,
really good proper story,
and proper characters.
That's what I loved about that.
Some of the Marvel films are great.
My favourite's Thor 3, that's my
favourite Marvel film.
There can't be a Thor 3?
Why are you all saying... I know.
Thor 3, Thor 3 should
follow on from Frozen 2.
LAUGHTER
La La Land. Any fans of La La Land?
Feel like I'm in La La land.
I've not seen La La Land.
Oh, it's rubbish.
And I don't want to see it.
I didn't like it. Rubbish.
Whereas Furious 7, if they did that
as a musical I would've watched it.
Toy Story 3's gotta be a big
favourite in this group,
shall we take a little look?
A lovely film but also very,
very funny at times.
Here's a clip, it illustrates quite
how funny Toy Story can be.
Where's the manual?
Oh, all right, here we go.
There should be a little hole under
the switch. Little hole. Got it.
"To reset your Buzz Lightyear,
insert paperclip."
Rex, use your finger. What?
GRUNTS OK, now what?
All right, let's see.
"Caution. Do not hold button for
more than five seconds."
JINGLE
It's not my fault.
BEEPS
SPEAKS SPANISH
Now what did you do?
I just did what you told me.
Uh. Amigos.
We're all amigos.
We gotta switch him back.
How lovely.
Brilliant.
I mean, that is a great scene.
Erm, what do we think's going to
win this group?
What would you like to win
this group? I've not...
Furious 7 has to... There's never
been seven good anything.
Thing is though, if I've not seen
the first six,
am I going to be able to
pick it up seven in?
Do you know what? You will. Yeah.
You pretty much will.
Shall we take another look,
see what came last in this group?
Oh, Furious 7.
Just 3% for Furious 7.
Erm, third place? La La Land, 16%.
So it's between Black Panther
and Toy Story 3.
Both worthy
winners. Oh, I think so.
I would say. Both of them.
Let's find out.
Our third semifinalist is?
Toy Story 3.
APPLAUSE
So we have three semifinalists
so far.
Deadpool and Wolf of Wall Street and
then Toy Story.
Three very different movies.
Oh, it's so hard.
Three very different movies.
What's going to be our fourth semifinalist?
Going to be one of these four films.
And they are: Bridesmaids - nice to
see a proper good old comedy there.
Avengers Assemble, which is the one where they
go to Ikea, buy some flat-pack furniture.
Erm, The Lego Movie and Inception.
Those are the four movies there.
Oof, that's a tough choice,
isn't it?
Avengers Assemble, there's been
loads of great Marvel movies,
we put that in just because it
sort of feels like
the beginning of
that kind of golden age.
Now, quite often we hear things about
people who've given away spoilers.
I want to show you a clip here
where Mark Ruffalo, who's the Hulk,
I think he really is giving away a
spoiler here and the reason I think he is
is he's being interviewed with Don Cheadle,
and take a look at Don Cheadle's face
when Mark Ruffalo says the things
he's saying.
I think Mark Ruffalo is not supposed
to be saying what he's saying.
It's a lot of fun.
Did you succeed in saving it?
I can't... Can I say it? No.
I would imagine you guys... Can I just
give 'em a little, a little taste?
I wouldn't say too much but you
can say as much...
I mean, hey, it's your career.
Let me just say this - like every
other Marvel movie,
it doesn't end well
for the superheroes.
That's true. In Marvel
it doesn't end that well,
somebody always dies or gets
really badly hurt.
Wait til you see this next one,
everybody dies. Dude!
LAUGHTER
I may be wrong in that part. Yeah,
can you... You'll cut that bit.
That's not...
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Jon, have you seen Inception?
Yes, I did see it.
Did you understand what
was going on?
I think I did at the time.
It's the sort of film I enjoyed
and never want to see again.
Yeah. It's possible, though,
that we're still watching it.
No. Don't, don't, don't.
Don't, don't.
Lego Movie, anyone seen Lego Movie?
I have one fact about it - which is that it's
the most uncomfortable movie to stand on.
That's the only,
that's the only fact I have.
And Bridesmaids, nice to see
a comedy making a lot of money.
Proper funny. Is that what you'd
go for in this group? Yeah.
Comedy, it's really hard
to do comedy.
Being just really funny about real
life and getting married, that's hard.
Well, listen, as your career proves.
LAUGHTER
Wonderful. Erm, shall we find our
final semifinalist?
What is going up against Toy Story
3? In fourth place it is...
The Lego Movie, 17%. OK.
In third place? Ah, there goes
Bridesmaids.
Inception and Avengers Assemble,
you would assume Avengers Assemble.
Let's take a look.
What's our fourth semifinalist?
Inception is our fourth
semifinalist.
APPLAUSE
We've got our semifinals
for the Best Film of the Decade.
Join us after the break,
we'll playing those semifinals
and then we'll be finding
the Best Film of the Decade.
See you in a bit.
APPLAUSE
Hello there, welcome back to
World Cup Of The Decade.
We left you on a cliffhanger,
we left you with the four
semifinalists for the Best Film of the
Decade. Let's take a look at what they are.
We have Wolf Of Wall Street versus Deadpool
and we have Toy Story 3 versus Inception.
Wolf Of Wall Street or Deadpool,
what do we think's going to win
that?
Deadpool! OK, thank you, Lorraine.
Anybody else have an opinion, or?
Wolf Of Wall Street.
He was the first person to.
He invented Wows.
Let's find out what our first finalist
in the Best Film of the Decade is.
Wolf Of Wall Street. Boo!
Wolf Of Wall Street.
Boo. That's annoyed Lorraine.
What is Wolf Of Wall Street going
to face in that final?
Is it Toy Story 3 or is it
Inception? Let's find out.
Yes. Toy Story, safely through.
APPLAUSE
So, we have our final.
Lot of films released this decade.
We narrowed it down to 16 on
Twitter,
they narrowed it down to two, we are
now down to those final two.
And they are Wolf Of Wall Street
versus Toy Story 3.
Very, very similar films.
Erm, what do we think's going to
win this, Best Film of the Decade?
Toy Story 3.
Erm, Toy Story 3, audience?
MANY: Yes.
Anyone for Wolf Of Wall Street?
Yeah.
Four people, all of whom, by the way,
are doing lines of coke as we speak.
Let's find out, shall we?
What is the Best Film of the Decade?
Is it Wolf Of Wall Street or is
it Toy Story 3?
It's a landslide.
It's a landslide for Toy Story 3.
APPLAUSE
There we have it.
Listen, we've had four categories,
we've got four winners.
We have one more job to do, though.
We know what our winners are.
Sherlock won the Best Film, Best Song was
Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars,
Best New Thing was emojis,
and Best Film was Toy Story 3.
What is the Best Thing
of the Decade?
If you had to choose, Alex,
out of those? Emojis.
Emojis,
the Best Thing of the entire Decade.
It's been a tough ten years.
Rhianna, if you had to choose
one of these four?
As a film critic, I can't not say
Toy Story 3, of course.
Toy Story 3. Lorraine? If it's not
Deadpool, it's gotta be Toy Story 3.
Er. Jon?
LAUGHTER
And audience, we need you to choose
The Best Thing of the whole Decade
from those four winners, please.
I'm gonna give you ten seconds to
vote. Your time starts now.
Isn't it nice, by the way,
to have a vote where you actually
want one of them to win?
It makes a change, doesn't it?
OK, then, what is
the Best Thing of the Decade?
In fourth place it is?
Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson.
Isn't it awful to be the Best Song of the Decade
and then go, "Oh, I'm last. I came last!"
11%. Not as good as emojis.
Erm, in third place?
Oh. On 22! Can I say something?
If you fuckers have voted emojis,
I mean, come on.
LAUGHTER
Erm, let's find out what is
the Greatest Thing of the Decade.
Is it emojis, is it Toy Story 3?
The Greatest Thing of the Decade is?
Oh. Toy Story 3!
APPLAUSE
Beautiful. Well done.
Well done, audience.
That's nice.
The Greatest Thing of the Decade is
officially Toy Story 3.
Audience, you did beautifully.
Thank you so much,
Congratulations to Toy Story 3.
Here's a...
This is a beautiful little scene.
Now, Woody, he's been my pal
for as long as I can remember.
He's brave, like a cowboy should be.
And kind, and smart.
But the thing that makes
Woody special
is he'll never give up on you, ever.
He'll be there for you,
no matter what.
You think you can take care
of him for me?
OK, then.
GIGGLES
Ah, beautiful.
APPLAUSE
Beautiful.
Alex, Rhianna, Lorraine, Jon,
thank you so much for joining us.
Thank you so much at home, thank you
to everybody who voted, as well,
on Twitter for all these wonderful
World Cups of the Decade.
Been an absolute pleasure.
And we'll see you all again
in ten years' time.
APPLAUSE
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
language and adult humour.
Hello, everybody and welcome along
to the World Cup Of The Decade,
how lovely to have you here.
Over the next 90 minutes we are
gonna be revealing the winners
of a series of huge Twitter polls to
find the best things of the decade.
This evening, we are gonna find out
the winners of the best TV show,
the best song, the best new thing
and the best film of the 2010s.
But a lot has changed in the decade.
At the start of the decade
Orange ls The New Black
was a television programme, and now
orange is the new black is
the way of remembering
the sequence of US presidents.
That's how we remember them.
Things change.
Things change.
At the start of the decade
we all ate meat,
at the end of the decade,
we're all vegans.
There was that brief
bit in the middle of the decade
when we were all eating meat, but
all the meat was made out of horse.
Do you remember that?
But the biggest change
of the decade,
in 2010 Prince Andrew could
not sweat.
And now look at the guy, he is...
It is rolling off him
in buckets, this guy.
Er, we're gonna find out all sorts
of fun things about the decade.
I want you to welcome, please,
though, my guests, who are gonna be
chatting through all these polls,
they're gonna be telling us
their favourites, they're gonna be
furious about some of the winners,
as are you. Enjoy yourself, though.
Please welcome Mr Jon Richardson.
APPLAUSE
Lorraine Kelly.
Rhianna Dhillon.
And Mr Alex Brooker.
Hey, everybody. Hello, there.
Jon? Hello.
Have you had a good decade?
Lots of changes in your life.
Yes, well, I'm wearing...
This shirt is my decade,
because I bought this
at the start of the decade.
Yeah, I can... You can tell.
JON CHUCKLES
I wore it for my first DVD
buttoned up, and now look.
I mean...
That's a good decade, innit, that?
And the fact that you said DVD,
which was something we used to have,
wasn't it, in 2010s, as well?
Yeah, I just missed the VHS boom.
Sadly. Lorraine, how lovely to
have you here. Thank you.
I didn't like calling you Lorraine
Kelly because I think you should be
Dame Lorraine Kelly. Oh, no, no.
Is that something we can look
forward to in the next decade?
No absolutely not, no. Who thinks
Lorraine Kelly should be a dame?
No, don't.
AUDIENCE CHEERS
Dame. They've offered it to you,
though, right?
No, they have not. It'll never
happen. Never in a million years.
If they've offered it to you, wink.
No, honestly, they really haven't.
She just winked, she winked.
Rhianna, how lovely to have you
here.
You're here to help me
out with all sorts of facts
and figures because you...
Know everything about
movies, about TV, you're a film
critic, all that kind of malarkey,
you also are our youngest person. I
wonder if you can tell us, Rhianna,
how old were you at the start
of the decade?
RICHARD SIGHS
Just a wee baby. 20 years old. Yeah.
That's depressing, isn't it?
I tell you what, though,
it's a good trick if you wanna find
out how old someone is,
ask them how old they were ten years
ago, because they like the answer,
and the maths is really easy.
Nice to have you here.
Alex Brooker? Hello. Nice to
have you here.
Now, what a decade for you,
what were you doing in 2010?
Oh, man.
No, it is not, and thank the
good Lord for that.
Now, we're gonna start this
evening with telly,
cos we're gonna find
the best TV show of the decade.
Now, what we did, we put out a whole
series of polls on Twitter,
everybody voted,
over 2.5 million votes we got,
we got the 16 highest qualifiers and
we split them into four groups,
and we're gonna find out who wins
each of those groups.
OK? Four groups, each winner goes
through to the semifinals.
Now, TV shows, 16 of 'em, shall we
take a look at our first group?
What would you like to win
out of this group, please?
Our first group is...
Line Of Duty, Black Mirror,
Great British Bake Off,
and Ru Paul's Drag Race.
Anyone got any particular
favourites? Oh, this is too hard.
You've got Line Of Duty and Ru Paul.
We have. How can I choose?
That's like choosing your favourite
child. Cannot. Well, no, you do.
Line Of Duty, any Line Of Duty fans
here? Love Line Of Duty. Love it.
When I was watching,
one of them started saying Haitch
instead of Aitch, like, which is
the thing that comes in,
but I just think it'd be one of the
great grammatical jokes of all time
if Aitch and Haitch are two
different people.
One of my absolutely favourite
things about Line Of Duty -
I think one of everyone's favourite
things - was Ted Hastings,
played by Adrian Dunbar, and
certainly as the series went on,
as well, he just became a succession
of catchphrases,
but all of which were brilliant.
Shall we take a little look at some
of them now?
We are only interested in one thing
and one thing only,
and that is bent coppers.
Bent coppers. Bent coppers.
Bent coppers. Bent copper.
Bent coppers... I didn't float up
the Lagan on a bubble.
Mother of God. Mother of God.
Mother of God. Mother of God.
Mother of God.
We weren't born yesterday, fella.
Fella. Fella. Fella. Fella.
Fella. Fella. Fella.
I think you should sit down, fella,
or I'll handcuff you to that desk.
I've never seen the show.
Was that one scene?
Cos I found that very
difficult to follow.
Yeah, yeah, that's er...
It's essentially just
that for four series.
Right, OK. Yeah. I'll give it a go.
I mean, it's mad, cos they're
in a room just
talking about procedure, and you
think that's gonna be really,
really dull, and it's so brilliant,
isn't it? It's so, so well done.
Beautifully written.
Now, Rhianna, Black Mirror?
Yes, we did start the decade with
someone essentially having
sex with a pig in a drama,
and we sort of ended it with
a prime minister
genuinely having sex with a pig.
Allegedly.
Which is... That's a funny...
Oh, come on, he did it.
Were you there? Were you there?
Did you see?
He is not gonna sue.
Like he wants anyone to know
where he is.
We've got... That's very true.
...we've got a good clean ten years
of Cameron not showing his face.
Erm, anyone here
a fan of Great British Bake Off?
Yes.
Are you? Yes. No, it's too tense.
It's supposed to be about scones.
It's only one tent and they're all
in...
But it's too... it's too
stressful.
Er, see, I think Bake Off,
I like Bake Off
because I don't think it's
stressful at all.
I'm gonna show you a clip now.
I think that
if this is the most stressful
thing that's ever happened
in your series,
it's not a stressful series.
Oh, man, that was awful.
Oh, it's... Oh, it's going,
it's going.
BLEEP
It's gonna fall.
BLEEP
Oh, God. No!
Oh, BLEEP. Oh, man. Oh, my God.
I mean... Too tense.
Noel's thinking, "This is the best
thing that's happened
"since I got this job."
Er, what do we think should win
this group, everybody?
Oh.
But Black Mirror was brilliant,
but the Star Trek episode...
That's a good one.
Absolutely. I know, but then Line Of
Duty. Yeah, I like...
And then Ru Paul,
how can you not have Ru Paul?
Oh, Lorraine,
it's great to have you on the show.
I'd say Line Of Duty.
You're going Line Of Duty. Rhianna?
Lorraine?
I'm gonna say Ru Paul. Jon?
I think the only show there that is
so successful
we'd turn the world into a spin-off
episode is Black Mirror.
Black Mirror.
Well, let's find out what was
fourth on the list.
What came last?
Drag Race. Awwww!
Just 6% for Drag Race.
What came third?
Black Mirror, 26%.
So who's going through to
the semifinal?
It's either gonna be Line Of Duty,
or it's gonna be Great British Bake
Off.
Audience, what would you like?
AUDIENCE SHOUTS OUT ANSWERS
I think that was 48/52,
so let's... let that go, shall we?
Er, our first semifinalist
in The World Cup Of The Decade,
Best TV Show is...
Line Of Duty goes first. Yay.
Line Of Duty.
It is brilliant. Oh, it's fantastic.
It is brilliant. If you haven't
seen it, do try and...
It's genius. Catch up on it.
It's terrific stuff.
Line Of Duty is through to the
semifinal. What's it gonna face?
It's gonna face the winner of these
four TV shows.
And they are Gogglebox.
Yeah!
Killing Eve. Brilliant.
Planet Earth 2, and Game Of Thrones.
There's some big hitters in this,
everything's a big hitter
though, it's only 16 shows
from across the whole decade.
What does anyone fancy there?
APPLAUSE
I have to say, I've never seen
a frame of Game Of Thrones.
Not one single one.
I haven't either, Lorraine.
Have you not?
I thought I was the only
person, I'm so happy.
I do know there's a dragon in it
and a man called Jon Snow
and they tell him he doesn't know
anything, but that's about it.
I know that, and there's something
about winter is coming,
I think there are breasts,
I think that's correct.
Oh, go on, then.
Is it something you know?
I've never said this before -
what do you think at home,
how many breasts are there
in Game Of Thrones?
This is a fun game to play
with your kids. Erm...
Rhianna, how many breasts
are there in Game Of Thrones?
134 breasts?!
That's one penis a season.
To be fair, though, winter is
coming, so it may have been more.
So, yeah, they do...
I tell you who I'm worried for -
the viewer at home who's just
answered this and got it right
in front of all of their family.
Very true. Let's move on, shall we,
to Gogglebox.
Fans... fans of Gogglebox?
Yes. Yes.
Of course we love Gogglebox because
it's good, firstly, Lorraine,
and second, we know
they're watching us.
So, you've gotta be nice,
haven't you?
I mean, listen, I love the
Siddiquis. If you're watching, guys,
lovely to see ya!
Because they might feature this.
Who are your least favourite
Goggleboxers, Jon?
I think, at best, you need one posh
family,
that would be my comment.
Giles and Mary.
Giles and Mary'll do.
And Steph and Dom in their day...
Yeah... had a role to play.
Nowadays, sometimes there's
three or four posh families,
and that doesn't do it for me.
Does it not?
I would, and I'm a huge
fan of the show, I think
it's one of the best things on
telly.
There are people now watching
they'll be intercutting,
there'll be people going, "I hope
he's not talking about us, darling."
Pass the Cointreau.
Er, that is Gogglebox.
Now, Planet Earth 2... Oh.
..er, is a wonderful show.
Shall we take a little look at
Planet Earth 2?
Please. So many clips we could've
chosen. I know.
Er, here's a very, very tense clip,
though.
You'll all remember this one.
It's like a proper
Hollywood car chase, except the cars
are an iguana and some snakes.
Oh, yeah.
TENSE MUSIC PLAYS
Phew! Thank the Lord!
Oh, my God.
Oh! Nearly as tense as Bake Off.
That was tense. That was tense.
The more I watch that clip, the more
it's like watching Arsenal defend.
There's loads of them around him,
how's he got through there?
That's not like
the Daily Mail...
...to accuse someone of fakery.
No?
Probably a younger iguana who'd
had a bit of Botox.
It would've been a bit cruel to
let him get to the top
and then put him back.
Last one in this group, Killing Eve,
this is essentially a show
about two women who want to kill
each other,
it's the Coleen Rooney,
Rebecca Vardy story, essentially.
Er, fans of Killing Eve?
Oh, I love it. Isn't
it the best?
Absolutely fantastic.
And Phoebe Waller-Bridge,
who I suspect we'll be seeing
a little bit more of later.
No spoilers, but I wonder if one of
her other shows has qualified for
our 16. Oh, I would think so.
Erm, shall we take a look at what
came last in this group?
Gogglebox came last. OK, OK.
I've gone on record of saying
I disagree with that,
I would've put it first,
Goggleboxers. 13%.
Er, in third place?
Oh. Planet Earth 2? Oh,
that's... that's a shocker.
That's crazy, so Killing Eve versus
Game Of Thrones.
What do we think's
gonna win this one?
Killing Eve. You think? Yeah.
Game Of Thrones.
Game Of Thrones? Let's take a look.
Erm, going through to the
semifinals to play
Line Of Duty is...
Game Of Thrones goes through.
Oh. OK. OK.
There is our first
semifinal right there,
Line Of Duty versus Game Of Thrones.
We will get to that in a moment.
It's time for a break -
see you in a minute.
Welcome back to
World Cup of the Decade.
Now, we were discussing
the TV Show of the Decade.
Two more groups to go.
Here is group C.
What is going to win this?
What's going through
to the semifinal from this?
You could have Peaky Blinders,
Derry Girls,
Downton Abbey,
or Love Island,
which is a Downton Abbey spin-off.
LAUGHTER
Some pretty good
ones on that, isn't there?
I'm not criticising the draw
but I think Gogglebox pisses
that group, I think.
You reckon? Yeah.
APPLAUSE
Derry Girls is my childhood,
Derry Girls. It's just like...
I just loved it so much,
I laughed so much.
Shall we have a little look at a clip
of Derry Girls? Oh, it's so good.
It's such a wonderful ensemble
piece. Here's a clip
where you see
all the girls together
and they've got such amazing
chemistry. I love them.
Look, whatever happens in there
we have to stick together, OK?
We have to back each other up.
HYSTERICALLY: So it had nothing to
do with me!
Yes, OK, I was there, I admit that.
But I didn't do anything!
It was Michelle!
It was all Michelle!
I'm not going down for something
I didn't do!
If anyone deserves to get punished,
it should be Michelle!
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
The wonderful Derry Girls.
Um, Love Island.
Any Love Island fans here? Yeah!
They asked me to go on
Celebrity Love Island,
but I said, "Look, if all I want to do
is get a tan and sleep with a celebrity,
I'll do Strictly."
LAUGHTER
SCATTERED BOOS
Don't boo that - they should stop fucking
each other. That's the... LAUGHTER
Alex, are you a fan of Love Island?
I just love everything about it.
I love the drama.
I mean, it's got drama. Oh, yeah,
for sure. It's got comedy.
I love the fact that they've managed
to get young British people
to go to Majorca and have sex,
and who would have thought that
was possible?
WQW!
And if we could just get them
off the electoral register.
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
Is that true,
nearly 100 thousand people?
That's what
I did this evening with the panel.
Um, now, Peaky Blinders.
I love Peaky Blinders.
I love Derry Girls
and I love Peaky Blinders,
two of my favourite shows in
the same group here.
Super sweary, Rhianna,
right, Peaky Blinders?
This sounds like Love Island so far.
LAUGHTER
Oh.
It was originally called
Brum Loving Criminals.
LAUGHTER
I genuinely love Peaky Blinders.
Here's a lovely clip from
Peaky Blinders.
It does have a bit of swearing,
but it shows how kind of...
It can be very violent, but also
funny and also so beautifully acted.
Let's take a little
look at the clip,
just before Tommy Shelby's wedding.
But the main thing is,
you bunch of fuckers,
despite the provocation
from the cavalry,
no fighting.
Oi.
No fighting.
No fucking fighting.
No fighting.
No fucking fighting!
Good.
Get the fuck away.
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
That was fantastic.
There's something about that
swearing in that accent
that's just really...
Well, especially
if Cillian Murphy's doing it.
"Satisfying. Yeah.
It's managed to make the Birmingham
accent sound quite cool.
Well, its managed to make about 40 different
variations of the Birmingham accent soundcool.
The last one on the list -
Downton Abbey.
Some people don't watch Downton because
they think it's a bit too gentle.
I have to say, every time I watch it,
it seems just to be Maggie Smith tutting
because they've installed
a landline.
Have you ever seen any Downton, Jon?
No, I'm afraid not.
There's so many
other channels, um...
LAUGHTER
So, listen, time to make a choice.
What would we like to win
this group? Alex?
For me it's between Love Island
and Peakys.
I probably... Do you know what,
I'd probably say -
and don't hate me for it - Love Island.
Listen, man, someone's got to do it. Rhianna?
Lorraine?
Derry Girls. Derry Girls as well.
Jon? We should get some
comedy through.
Let's get Derry Girls. Derry Girls as well. So
three for Derry Girls, one for Love Island.
What do you think at home?
Let's find out what came last
in this poll.
Oh, Alex, I'm so sorry.
Oh, well. I'm so sorry.
People don't know good telly when
they see it. 10%. What was third?
Downton with 16%. Interesting!
So Peaky Blinders versus Derry Girls.
Oh! Still in there with a shout,
Derry Girls.
Let's take a look.
What did the public say on Twitter?
Peaky Blinders.
That is our third semifinalist.
We have three semifinalists,
one more to go.
There's Line of Duty versus
Game of Thrones.
Peaky Blinders is going to play
the winner of this last group.
And it is...
...Fleabag... Oh, genius.
...Stranger Things,
The Only Way ls Essex...
I know, right? I know.
LAUGHTER
Come on.
...and Sherlock.
That is this group.
Let's take a look at Sherlock,
shall we?
Huge hit, started in 2010, Sherlock.
Oh, it's good.
It's gone all around the world.
It has fans everywhere in the world.
We've got a picture here, I think,
of Justin Trudeau who went as Sherlock
to his last Halloween party...
I don't think he did it particularly
well. You'll be the judge of that.
...which is good news cos his second
choice was Luther, so...
LAUGHTER
Oh, dear.
Fans of Sherlock? Very much so.
Sometimes a wee bit too clever
for its own good,
but very well done.
You like a bit of Sherlock, Jon? Do love
a bit of Sherlock, yeah. Yeah, it's good.
And all the words on the screen and all that.
I like that, yeah. I like that, it's great.
There's loads
of fan fiction for Sherlock.
They do fan fiction where Holmes
and Watson get up to stuff, right.
Oh, they do that with Star Trek.
Yeah, well, they do it
for Pointless. Right?
Do they? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Do they really?
Tell me everything. Tell
me everything.
Everybody in this room -
and at home -
is imagining you having sex
with Alexander Armstrong.
That's all I'm doing.
Because normally, normally
it's just me imagining that.
It's nice... It's nice to be able
to share it.
JON IMITATES POINTLESS COUNTDOWN
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
Listen, Fleabag is the last
on my list. Oh. Yes.
Killing Eve already knocked out,
but Fleabag has been...
I mean, an extraordinary show of the
decade. Oh, absolutely fantastic.
There's nothing bad to say about it
and in the second series we had
the hot priest,
so that was even better.
Ah, the hot priest.
So, yeah.
Shall we take a little look at the hot priest? But
we'll take a look also at Phoebe Waller-Bridge,
the genius behind the show.
This is where she traditionally
breaks the fourth wall.
I'd really like to be your
friend, though.
I'd like to be your friend too.
We'll last a week.
What was that?
What?
Where did you... Where did you
just go?
What?
You just... went somewhere.
There.
There.
Where did you just go?
SHE CHUCKLES
Nowhere.
Ah, Fleabag there.
And Andrew Scott, to be fair,
does look exactly like a cross
between Ant and Dec.
LAUGHTER
I mean, that is definitely true.
Let's find out our final
semifinalist, shall we?
Last in this group,
can you believe it?
It's The Only Way ls Essex,
with 2% of the votes.
Third place in this group...
Oh, get out of it. Oh, no!
That's a shock. Shocker.
28% .
British public... No.
...what are they thinking?
There are a lot of women who want to
see a priest get noshed off in there.
LAUGHTER
Is that what women want?
That happened, didn't it? Did it?
Yeah, I think, yeah, something happened,
didn't it? She gets down and...
I never saw that.
No, but that was part
of the ritual of the...
...of the religious theme.
Was it not? I mean...
Quite how you got
to your age, Lorraine...
LAUGHTER
No, it's all part of the ceremony.
It's part of the ritual, you know.
That was a very milky communion.
Oh!
GROANS
Lorraine literally just made
the sign of the cross at you there.
Our final semifinalist for the World
Cup of the Decade TV Show is...
...Sherlock.
APPLAUSE
That's fair enough.
OK.
Here are our semifinals -
Line of Duty will play
Game of Thrones,
Peaky Blinders will play Sherlock.
One of those four is the Best TV
Show of the Decade,
according to our huge Twitter poll.
First semifinal,
Line of Duty versus Game of Thrones.
Who do we think's going to win?
Alex? Line of Duty.
Rhianna?
Line of Duty.
Gogglebox.
LAUGHTER
I'm with Jon. I agree, Gogglebox.
I can tell you this one was 49/51.
Wow. Those were the numbers.
GASPS
Our first finalist in the World Cup
of the Decade Best TV Show is...
Game of Thrones just takes it.
No, no, no.
APPLAUSE
I guess it's understandable. Hm.
Second semifinal.
What's going to play Game of Thrones in
that final - Peaky Blinders or Sherlock?
Alex? I'd like to think
Peaky Blinders.
I'd love Peaky Blinders. Rhianna?
Lorraine?
I'll... I don't mind. Sherlock.
They're both brilliant. Jon?
It's flat cap versus deerstalker,
isn't it, I guess, so... It kind of is.
I'll go flat cap. You go flat for...
You're going Peaky.
I'd go Peaky as well and we know
what that means.
It means that Sherlock's almost
certainly going to win.
Audience, Peaky or Sherlock?
AUDIENCE:
The audience is going for Sherlock.
Let's find out what is playing Game
of Thrones in the final. It is...
Oh, no. Sherlock.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERS
Sherlock v Game of Thrones.
Listen, we have the small matter
of a final to attend to. Yes.
It's the World Cup of the Decade,
but what is the Best Television Show
of the Decade?
We know it's Game of Thrones
or Sherlock.
Anyone got a big favourite here?
Game of Thrones, then.
Sherlock.
Sherlock, but I think Thrones will win. Two
each. You think Game of Thrones will win? Yeah.
Let's take a look. The Best TV Show
of the Decade is...
...Sherlock is our winner.
Sherlock is our winner.
Congratulations to Sherlock.
Let's just show one little
clip in celebration of Sherlock.
This is Andrew Scott and
Benedict Cumberbatch
in a wonderful scene from the Best
TV Show Of The Decade, Sherlock.
Well, I'd better be off.
So nice to have had a proper chat.
What if I was to shoot you now?
Right now.
Then you could cherish
the look of surprise on my face...
...cos I'd be surprised, Sherlock.
Really, I would.
And just a teensy bit...
"disappointed.
And, of course, you wouldn't be able
to cherish it for very long.
Ciao,
Sherlock Holmes.
Catch you...
"later.
IN SING-SONG VOICE: No, you won't.
DOOR SLAMS SHUT
Oh, it is good, it is good.
Ladies and gentlemen,
The Best TV Show Of The Decade,
Sherlock.
Now, I think it's important for all
of us,
at this point in the show,
maybe to pause,
maybe to reflect on some
of the things
that we've lost along the way
in this decade.
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
AUDIENCE:
LAUGHTER
AUDIENCE:
Who is she?!
Who is she?!
Who is she? Where did
you find her?
LAUGHTER
Obama out.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERS
I honestly...
I honestly thought I was going to make it through that
and then Ceefax turned up. I couldn't deal with it.
Those are the things we've
lost along the way this decade.
Join us after the break, please,
where we'll be finding out
The Best Song Of The Decade.
Hello, there, welcome back to
World Cup Of The Decade.
Before the break, we discovered
the Best TV Show of the Decade
was Sherlock,
according to our huge Twitter poll.
We're about to find out
the Best Song of the Decade.
Again, 16 finalists,
we draw them in to four groups,
the winner of each group goes
through to our semifinals,
shall we have a little
listen to the songs in group one?
# She's up all night till the sun
# I'm up all night to get some
# She's up all night for good fun
# I'm up all night to get lucky... #
# I let my guard down
# And then you pulled the rug
# I was getting kind of used to
being someone you loved... #
# Hey, I just met you
# And this is crazy
# But here's my number
# So call me maybe
# It's hard to look right at you,
baby
# But here's my number
# So call me maybe... #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Banger after banger, there.
All killer, no filler.
Any favourites there?
I absolutely love Call Me Maybe.
It's a good song, right?
Genuinely, I had it as my ringtone
for a little while
when it first came out.
I absolutely love it,
I mean, it's terrible advice,
dishing your number out left, right
and centre, but what a great song.
Also, great video.
Not in a pervy way.
LAUGHTER
Video Games, that might be
one of my favourite songs of
the decade. Yeah?
She wrote it about sort of just
hanging out with her
boyfriend who was playing
World of Warcraft. Oh, yeah.
I thought it was a bit meh.
Really? Yeah.
Lewis Capaldi just, amazing.
Lewis Capaldi? Oh, he's your
favourite?
Love him, Lewis, he's my favourite,
I just think he's so cute
and so gorgeous and so funny and he
doesn't take himself very seriously.
He is brilliantly self-deprecating
as well.
He's got this little documentary
called Becoming Lewis Capaldi,
there's a little clip here
where he goes through this
tough process of writing lyrics.
This book right here's just, I just
constantly, I write something,
I can write something now,
"I love you, I love you,
why did you leave me?
"Please don't leave me, seriously,
please don't leave me.
"I love you, please don't leave me.
"Don't leave me.
"I don't want to live
with my parents any more."
I adore him. He's wonderful.
You've gotta like the guy.
He's wonderful.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He really is.
I don't...
A couple of years ago,
he was nowhere,
and now he's one of the biggest
stars in the world.
I've had gigs like that.
LAUGHTER
Huge fan of Lewis Capaldi.
Now, Get Lucky by Daft Punk
was an absolutely huge song,
I met one of Daft Punk
the other day.
I had a Deliveroo.
LAUGHTER
Um, so, but we know who they are,
right?
They're a couple of French guys.
Darren Anderton
and Teddy Sherringham.
Yeah.
So let's find our fourth placed
song first.
Video Games.
I love that song,
anyway, 12% for that.
Third place?
Oh, Don't Call Me, Carly Rae, 21%,
so it's between,
Get Lucky by Daft Punk,
a classic from the middle of
the decade
and the new kind of hot kid
on the block,
Lewis Capaldi with
Someone You Loved.
Um, let's find out,
what's our first semifinalist
in the Best Song of the Decade?
I mean, it had to be, right?
I think it had to be.
APPLAUSE
So Get Lucky by Daft Punk
is our first semifinalist.
What is it going to
play in its semifinal?
One of these four songs.
# Cos all of me
# Loves all of you
# Love your curves
and all your edges
# All your perfect imperfections...
#
# Cos the players gonna play,
play, play, play, play
# And the haters gonna hate, hate,
hate, hate, hate
# Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake,
shake, shake, shake
# I shake it off
I shake it off... #
# Never mind,
I'll find someone like you
# I wish nothing
but the best for you too... #
Oh. Four good songs there.
APPLAUSE
That is a tough group.
Now, you won't have seen
while that was on,
two of the members of our panel,
namely me and Lorraine,
I think our favourite song
is the same one.
Which is Despacito, right?
It's so good.
I love Despacito.
So, so good.
What a fantastic song.
We do Zumba to that.
We shake everything.
It's so... But it's quite hard to
sing along to, right?
No-one knows the words,
but it doesn't stop you, you know,
you just kinda put in, you know...
# One day I saw a mosquito
# Which had some chilli
heatwave Doritos... #
You just kind of make your own.
I think that is the lyrics to the
song.
I've never heard that song
until now.
You've never heard Despacito?
It's so good.
They don't really play
it in Morrison's.
Now John Legend, All of Me,
best-selling single of 2014,
he also got voted the sexiest
man in the world, right?
All Of Me is like, it's one of those
songs
that's, like, so many people
have had it
as their, like, first dance.
It was in the mixer for mine.
The lyrics didn't really
resonate with me,
cos as someone who's,
like, missing bits...
LAUGHTER
If the lyrics had been, like,
# What remains of me... #
LAUGHTER
Then I could've got on board.
Yeah, come on, Jon, I didn't
think All Of Me
is John Legend's best
song of the decade even.
This is a man who can make anything
sound amazing,
I think this is John Legend's best
song of the decade.
# Somebody's got a stinky boo... #
I may need some backup on this one.
Guys?
# Somebody
Somebody
# Got a stinky
So stinky
# Booty Booty, booty, booty... #
APPLAUSE
When I change my kids' nappies,
I'm too busy retching to sing.
And the final one on that group,
Taylor Swift's advice
to any man standing at a urinal,
Shake It Off, big fans of,
any fans of that song?
You're not gonna shake it off.
Shake it a bit,
but not till it comes off.
LAUGHTER
No.
Just give it a little wiggle.
So what's gonna win this group,
do we think?
It's a tough one. Adele.
I hope Despacito.
I would love to think Despacito,
I don't think we've got
a hope in hell, love, I think
it's got to be Adele, don't you?
OK, now let's find out
what came fourth.
Oh, get outa town.
Boo.
Get outa town. 13%.
It'll always be our song.
It's our song, it is.
And third place.
John Legend.
Not so cocky now, are you, John?
It's between Someone Like You
and Shake it Off
to be our second semifinalist.
The second semifinalist is...?
Adele gets through,
well done, Adele.
APPLAUSE
There she is, taking her
place in the semifinal
against Get Lucky by Daft Punk.
Um, shall we look at group three?
Best Song of the Decade, what is it?
Is it one of these four?
# ..hallelujah
# Girls hit your hallelujah
# Girls hit your hallelujah
# Cos uptown funk gon'
give it to you
# Cos uptown funk gon'
give it to you
# Cos uptown funk gon'
give it to you
# Saturday night and we in the spot
# Don't believe me just watch... #
# Who run this motha, girls
# Who run this motha, girls
# Who run this motha, girls
# Who run this motha, girls
# Who run the world? Girls
# Who run the world? Girls
# Who run the world? Girls
# Who run the world? Girls... #
APPLAUSE
Now, the more numerate amongst you
would've spotted
there was only three clips there
and that's cos the last one,
Do I Wanna Know by Arctic Monkeys,
we couldn't play it
because they're too cool,
and so we then found a clip
of a guy playing it on the guitar
with his dog accompanying him
on snare drum,
and they said, "No, you can't have
that one either."
So, what do we think on that one?
Uptown Funk, absolutely huge hit,
lots of people have claimed to have
written it, right?
Lots of lawsuits.
Oh, I was gonna say about that song,
the reason I like it
is it sounds like it could've
been from sort of any decade.
Mm. And it turns out it is
from any decade.
Shape Of You, Ed Sheeran,
an absolutely enormous hit record,
Shape Of You,
anyone Ed Sheeran fans here?
Oh, yeah, you have to be,
it's the law.
He's like the Lewis Capaldi of
the early 2010s, isn't he?
The whole decade.
Billions.
Arctic Monkeys, though,
are you a fan?
Um, I've never heard the song
and now I know I'm not gonna
tonight.
Am I allowed to whistle it?
Yeah.
Oh, I'm smiling now,
I can't whistle.
What's going on?
It's hard to, it's hard to whistle
when you're smiling.
Here we go, ladies and gentlemen,
Mr Jon Richardson.
The Northern Monkeys. V00.
LAUGHTER
I'm really nervous now.
I've never whistled on telly before.
Right, come on.
HE WHISTLES DO I WANNA KNOW?
APPLAUSE
You'll kick yourself, you remember
it now, don't you?
Alex Turner is a genius, isn't he?
Yeah.
Let's take a look, shall we,
at what came fourth in this group,
gonna find another semifinalist,
it is not going to be...
Beyonce. Oh! 10%, that's a surprise.
In third place was...
...Ed Sheeran. No!
In third place, knocked out, 16%.
See, maybe people are fed up with
it.
Arctic Monkeys or Mark Ronson
and Bruno Mars,
what's going through
to our semifinal?
It's Mark Ronson
and Bruno Mars, Uptown Funk.
That's fair enough again.
Come on.
What is it gonna play in that
semifinal?
It's gonna play
one of these four songs,
or once again one of these
three songs
because someone else wouldn't let us
play their song.
I'll tell you what it is
after these.
# I got the eye of the tiger,
a fighter,
# Dancing through the fire
# Cos I am a champion
# And you're going to hear me
roar... #
# I know when that hotline bling
# That can only mean one thing
# I know when that hotline bling
# That can only mean one thing... #
APPLAUSE
The song we're not allowed
to play there,
the fourth song is
Happy by Pharrell.
If you do want to listen to Happy,
by the way,
just call a mini cab,
it'll be playing, you can hear it.
I saw a statistic about Happy,
it said
"If you listen to every single
stream of that back-to-back,
"it would take you back to the time
when they built Stonehenge."
That's how far back it would go.
Wow.
Which, of course, is a room without
a roof, so it is apt.
Any fans of Sia?
Is it really?
That's quite strident
for a ringtone.
They must love you in a quiet
carriage.
Shall we take a look at what
has won this group?
Let's see what came fourth.
Hotline Bling.
Do you think?
That was my favourite of those.
Really?
OK.
No, he didn't.
No, he didn't.
That's like the sort of thing
that someone says down the pub,
"Came out with Yolo, didn't ya?"
Third place.
Katy Perry, it's 15%. Oh.
So it's either Happy by Pharrell,
or it's Chandelier by Sia.
What's gonna be our final
semifinalist,
Best Song of the Decade, it is...
Happy by Pharrell.
Gotta be.
Got to be.
APPLAUSE
So let's take a look at those
semifinalists,
so it is three very similar songs
there, Get Lucky, Uptown Funk
and Happy, and Adele, flying
the flag there for the UK.
First semifinal, Get Lucky by Daft
Punk versus Someone Like You, Adele.
Alex, what's winning this one?
Get Lucky.
Rhianna?
Lorraine? I think Adele.
You think Adele.
Mn?
Yeah, I found myself
rooting for Adele.
I would root for Adele, I think
she's great.
Um, let's find our first finalist
World Cup of the Decade Best Song,
is it gonna be Get Lucky or is it
gonna be Someone Like You?
ALL: Oh!
51/49. Well done, Adele.
APPLAUSE
We've gotta hand it to her,
what is Adele playing in the final?
It's gonna be one of these
two songs.
Uptown Funk versus
Happy by Pharrell.
What do you think's gonna
win this, Alex?
Uptown Funk. Rhianna?
Oh, really? Lorraine?
Uptown Funk for me.
Jon? Gogglebox.
Really? I'm gonna go
Uptown Funk as well.
So let's take a look, shall we,
what's playing Adele in the final?
Uptown Funk, Mark Ronson
and Bruno Mars.
APPLAUSE
So our final is
Someone Like You by Adele against
Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson.
We're about to find out
the Best Song of the Decade
as voted on Twitter.
What is it, though, World Cup
of the Decade Best Song, it is...
Uptown Funk takes it,
Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars.
Fair enough, I think.
We've had Sherlock,
winner of the Best TV Show,
we've had Uptown Funk,
winner of the Best Song.
After the break, we're gonna find
the Best New Thing of the Decade.
Join us then.
APPLAUSE
APPLAUSE
Hello, there. Welcome back
to World Cup Of The Decade.
We've already discovered
the, Best TV Show Of The Decade.
That was Sherlock. We've discovered
the Best Song Of The Decade.
Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson
and Bruno Mars. We're now going to
look at the Best New Thing Of
The Decade.
It's something that emerged
after 2010.
We'll go straight to
the semifinals. I'll tell you
a few things that got knocked out
before the semis. We lost onesies,
we lost Greggs vegan sausage rolls,
and we lost the Higgs boson.
We only just found that.
Let's take a look at our semifinals,
shall we?
The first one is... These are things
that are new since 2010.
Emojis versus Uber.
Emojis versus... Anyone use both?
Yeah.
The monkey with its hands over
its eyes emoji is... Yeah?
...on its own is one of
the greatest inventions of all time
because it manages to soften
bad news perfectly.
It's like, you know, if your wide
texts you and says,
"I've gone into labour.
Where are you?"
and you reply with, "I'm at the
pub," you sound ignorant.
If you reply with,
"I'm at the pub"...
LAUGHTER
..it's like, "I know what I married,
"He's a cheeky little scamp,
isn't he?
And that's how you won
Dad Of The Year.
Some people... We think we know
what all these emojis mean.
Can I show you a terrifying clip
from American TV that tells us
sometimes we don't know the whole
truth about emojis?
To young people, emojis
can mean different things
and cyber experts say kids
are starting to use some
as a secret code that we,
as parents,
can't necessarily figure out.
A skull, arrow and a flame -
that can be saying to someone
"I hope you die in a fire."
LAUGHTER
just to give you a couple more
examples, we're bringing Casey in
to give her a little quiz here
because some of these are so simple.
Yeah, a flower. A flower. You think
that's just a flower, right?
It means you want to bring
your mother flowers. Wouldn't that
be nice? Yeah!
It can also mean drugs.
What do you think? We've got
two eyeballs here. I'm watching you.
Yes, that's one of them.
Oh, but, like, literally?
Again, these have a lot
of different meanings,
so, that can mean "I'm watching
you," but we're always worried
about sexting and this can also mean
"Send me naked pictures of you."
Oh, my God!
LAUGHTER
When he sees the poo
with the smiley face...
LAUGHTER
Who are these 7% of people
who are tweeting...?
They think, "Oh, I just need to
tweet about a peach."
Now, emojis are taking on Uber,
which is a thing of this decade
isn't it? But now, enormously
successful, Uber.
Uber was spoilt for me when
I realised that I was getting rated
as well... Yes, yes... and I
didn't... How the fuck
did I end up a 4.4 out of five
just by sitting down?
LAUGHTER
I don't understand it.
It's like... I think that's
one of the greatest advan...
Uber and Airbnb and things where
you are rated as a consumer,
there's not enough of that.
Oh, really?
It's just another way to shine.
LAUGHTER
I just, you know...
I want people to know I'm better
at being in a taxi
than other people. I screengrab...
What's your Uber rating? 4.99.
Everybody, Jon Richardson.
APPLAUSE
What do we think has won this,
emojis or Uber? What's in the final?
Emojis. Emojis. Oh, God. Let's have
a little look. Emojis or Uber?
Smiley face. It's emojis.
APPLAUSE
One additional fact there -
emojis and Uber paid the same amount
of tax in the UK last year.
LAUGHTER
The next semifinal is...
Two new things. Instagram,
I understand.
Fitbits got through to
the semifinal.
Anyone use a Fitbit? I used to.
I used to, but then, you know
that you're supposed to do 10,000
steps? Yes. But then, I would get
really, really close and it would be
bedtime, and I'd be walking up
and down my bedroom trying to make
it burst the 10,000 and I thought,
that's really sad, so I put it in
a drawer and I forgot all about it.
I gave it a proper go. I did it for,
like, three clays, and...
LAUGHTER
But I did start thinking, if you had
done your 10,000 steps every day
for the decade, I'm going to show
you how far you could have gone,
if you were just walking. Oh.
If we start in London, OK?
This is if you'd done 10,000 steps
a day, you could have walked
all the way - I mean, good luck
across the sea - to New York.
We don't stop there. We then walk
all the way down to Buenos Aires,
and we then walk all the way back to
London, and we've still got
200 miles leftover,
so we can go to Hull.
LAUGHTER
10,000 steps a day!
APPLAUSE
That is amazing. Amazing, right?
Instagram fans? I like Instagram
cos it's kind.
You're good on Instagram. I'm going
to compare your Instagram
to Jon's Instagram. Go on, then.
There's a couple of pictures
from Lorraine's. Here's a
beautifully shot... I think by
a professional photographer,
this must be. You as Lady Gaga.
Look at that. I mean, look at
the composition on that.
LAUGHTER
Yeah, I mean, come on.
And they're real, them ones.
LAUGHTER
Here's you at a Pride march. Awww.
Lovely Lorraine there.
They're gorgeous.
And, Jon, here is
a picture of your...
...cutlery drawer. Yay!
LAUGHTER
It's very neat.
APPLAUSE
Very neat.
Who's got the most Instagram
followers in the world, Rhianna?
Like, the Kardashian? Beyonce or...
Cristiano Ronaldo.
Really?!
Wow. What do we think's won this?
What's in the final?
Instagram or Fitbits? Instagram.
Instagram.
Must be, surely, Instagram.
Let's take a look. What's going
through to the final to play emojis?
It is...
...Instagram. Look at it there.
APPLAUSE
Emojis versus Instagram -
one of these is
the Best New Thing Of The Decade.
But which one is it? What do we
think? One word, Alex? Emojis.
Rhianna?
Lorraine? I think Instagram.
You think lnsta.
This will be a really good bit
of footage to show when
we don't get to the end of
the next decade
because the world is on fire. Yes.
This, this debate here will be...
LAUGHTER
...this is what I'll show to
my daughter.
Just say, "Look at the fun
we were having."
I noticed that electric cars
didn't make it past emojis
and that's why
we now live in a boat.
LAUGHTER
I asked you one question.
What's going to win,
emojis or Instagram? Oh, emojis.
Let's take a look, shall we?
The Best New Thing Of The Decade
is...
...emojis, by an absolute mile.
APPLAUSE
So, we have three winners already.
We have Sherlock, we have
Uptown Funk, and we have emojis.
Join us after the break, please,
where we'll be finding out
the winner of the Best Film
Of The Decade.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Welcome back to The World Cup
Of The Decade.
We've come to our final category.
It is a big one, though.
We're going to find
the Best Film Of The Decade.
We've got 16 finalists here.
Everyone voted on Twitter -
millions of votes.
Here is our first group,
here are our first four films.
We've got Bohemian Rhapsody.
AUDIENCE MEMBERS LAUGH
Joker.
Wolf Of Wall Street
and Frozen.
What have we got as favourites
in that one, everybody?
Nice.
Yeah, I haven't seen Frozen.
I know that Elsa is a very
strong, powerful, feminist hero,
I know that because I've seen
this clip of Elsa.
Let's take a look at it.
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
BYSTANDERS: Yeah! Whoo!
Beautiful.
APPLAUSE
That is Frozen.
So Bohemian Rhapsody, Rhianna,
had a very troubled start.
I wish it hadn't
but, yes, it did have a really...
I like Bo Rhap. It did have a really
troubled production because obvi...
They had different directors
coming in and out.
Sacha Baron Cohen
was supposed to be playing
Freddie Mercury before Rami Malek.
Can you imagine?
He wanted to take it down
a really dark, serious tone,
and they obviously didn't go
quite that way.
Erm, and then Rami Malek
obviously had to...
...had to keep those
teeth in for a whole production.
But he won an Oscar for it,
so it won a... He did.
It made a billion dollars.
It's nice to see Frozen up against
Wolf Of Wall Street,
two very similar...
LAUGHTER
Let's take a little look at
Wolf Of Wall Street.
So, there's a clip. Remember the
clip of Matthew McConaughey
pounding his chest? Yes.
And that was improvised, right?
Is it something he just...?
That's something that he does before
every film just to calm himself down,
and Leonardo DiCaprio
witnessed this one day
and was like,
"We need to get this in the film."
Cos it does look like he's an awful
coke-ridden banker when he does it.
So, that's actors for you.
Let's take a little look.
RHYTHMIC BEATING
Hey-um. Hey-um-mm.
Hey-um.
Umm-ha-yeah.
Mm-mm-mm-mm-uh.
HE WHISTLES THROUGH TEETH
Yeah.
Hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-mm-hm-mm-hm-hm.
Mm-hm-hm.
Toots ki?
APPLAUSE
You a fan of Wolf Of Wall Street,
Jon?
Yes, I liked it when he couldn't
get out of the car.
Channelled all the great
slapstick comedy.
It was a very good performance,
I have to say.
It's a pretty good film, isn't it?
Now, Joker is the newest one
on the list.
Joker up against Frozen
in the same group.
It's weird, right?
Yeah. And we're not allowed to show
a clip from Joker cos it's out
too recently, which is a shame
cos I wanted to show...
There's an extraordinary scene where
he's coming down the stairs,
he's dressed as the Joker for the
first time.
So, this is someone going downstairs
with almost the same amount
of dignity, I think, as the Joker,
and I think it has the same power
and affects us in the same way.
Let's take a look.
We've now got, oh, hold on a minute,
what's going on here?
There's two blokes going to go in...
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
I mean, you know, that's better
than the Joker, isn't it? Yeah.
APPLAUSE
Erm, so listen,
the battle of the big guns here.
What do we think's going to
win this group?
Oof. Frozen.
I would
like Wolf Of Wall Street to win it.
Yeah. Let's take a look.
Fourth place is...
Oh, come on.
Bo Rhap fourth.
Look at how happy everyone is
apart from me and Lorraine.
I know.
18% for that. Third place...
Joker.
Oh, here we go. Wolf Of Wall Street.
How many fucks were there in
Wolf Of Wall Street?
506, I think.
Right. Over 500.
And in Frozen, there's only seven.
So it's...
LAUGHTER
It's a close one.
It's a close one.
Er, what's going to be our...
LAUGHTER
Er, what's our first semifinalist?
Is it Wolf Of Wall Street?
Is it Frozen? Let's find out.
Wolf Of Wall Street. Yay!
The winner there.
First semifinalist.
What is Wolf of Wall Street going
to play? Let's take a look.
It's going to be one of these
four films.
Oh...
Paddington 2.
Need we go on?
Need we go on after Paddington 2?
Deadpool, The Force Awakens.
Deadpool. And Get Out.
Deadpool, Deadpool is... Yes?
...the best film ever.
I loved it so, so much.
The best film ever?
Well, my favourite film...
My favourite film in the world,
I suppose, would be Blade Runner.
The original, right?
The original one.
Oh, yeah, oh. But Deadpool...
No, the original, yeah.
No, the original one. Director's cut,
do you know what I mean? You know what?
IN COCKNEY ACCENT: I didn't really like
the remake. I found it a little bit gauche.
All About Eve or that one,
but Deadpool is up there.
It's absolute... It is a good film.
..perfection.
Erm, so, The Force Awakens,
that's a Star Wars movie.
Not so much kind of with the Marvel
cinematic universe,
Star Wars less of a big deal this
decade. Alex, you a Star Wars fan?
I loved Force Awakens. Did you?
I absolutely... No! ..loved it.
Even though I've come to realise since that it's
very much a remake of the original Star Wars.
Oh, you spotted that? Yeah.
But, it's not often like a sequel's
better than the first. Yes.
It's not, it's not the Godfather.
Godfather.
What's... Question is,
what's so good about Paddington 2?
We've got a little clip of
Paddington 2. Shall we see it?
Yes, please. It's got an amazing
cast of characters in Paddington,
a lot of them
on screen at one time here
when Paddington's family come
visit him in prison.
We think the thief you saw is
part of a criminal gang.
Using the pop-up book as a treasure
map. Well, it's a theory.
Have you found out who they are?
Maybe I should take a look.
I'm sorry, this is a private
conversation.
It's all right, Mr Brown.
This is my friend, Knuckles.
How are you? And this is Fibs.
Good day. Spoon. Hello.
Jimmy the Snitch.
♪ -Bone. Wotcher.
The Professor.
Hello. Squeaky Pete.
Double Bass Bob.
Hello. Farmer Jack. How do?
Mad Dog. Johnny Cashpoint.
Kerching.
Sir Geoffrey Wilcox.
I hope I can rely on your vote.
And Charlie Russell.
Oh! It's so wonderful
to meet you all.
Such a charming film.
A charming film.
The other film in this group,
Get Out, was an extraordinary film.
The only kind of horror we have
on our list.
Now, let's take a look at what came
fourth in that group, shall we?
Oh, Alex. Star Wars -
The Force Awakens.
How's Paddington 2 beaten that?
Hugh Grant says it's the best
movie he's ever made
and to be fair to him, it is.
Erm, in third place?
Get Out.
In third - that's a shame - 20%.
So it's between Paddington 2
and DeadpooL DeadpooL
Erm, let's find out, shall we?
Paddington 2 or Deadpool?
What's our next semifinalist?
Deadpool. Yay! Woohoo!
There we go.
APPLAUSE
So, Deadpool is up against Wolf of
Wall Street in our first semifinal.
Oh, that's tough.
It's a tough one, isn't it?
That's really hard, that's really
hard. Er, lot of "fucks" there.
Erm, our next semifinal, one of
them's going to come from this group.
Black Panther, La La Land,
Furious...
Sorry, it's supposed to say
Moonlight, erm...
Furious 7, which is also the name
of the WhatsApp group
of the mothers of Boris Johnson's
children...
LAUGHTER
...and Toy Story 3.
Toy Story 3. Any big favourites there? Black Panther,
a huge movie. First Marvel movie to winan Oscar.
It was a great story cos sometimes with
movies they forget to write a really,
really good proper story,
and proper characters.
That's what I loved about that.
Some of the Marvel films are great.
My favourite's Thor 3, that's my
favourite Marvel film.
There can't be a Thor 3?
Why are you all saying... I know.
Thor 3, Thor 3 should
follow on from Frozen 2.
LAUGHTER
La La Land. Any fans of La La Land?
Feel like I'm in La La land.
I've not seen La La Land.
Oh, it's rubbish.
And I don't want to see it.
I didn't like it. Rubbish.
Whereas Furious 7, if they did that
as a musical I would've watched it.
Toy Story 3's gotta be a big
favourite in this group,
shall we take a little look?
A lovely film but also very,
very funny at times.
Here's a clip, it illustrates quite
how funny Toy Story can be.
Where's the manual?
Oh, all right, here we go.
There should be a little hole under
the switch. Little hole. Got it.
"To reset your Buzz Lightyear,
insert paperclip."
Rex, use your finger. What?
GRUNTS OK, now what?
All right, let's see.
"Caution. Do not hold button for
more than five seconds."
JINGLE
It's not my fault.
BEEPS
SPEAKS SPANISH
Now what did you do?
I just did what you told me.
Uh. Amigos.
We're all amigos.
We gotta switch him back.
How lovely.
Brilliant.
I mean, that is a great scene.
Erm, what do we think's going to
win this group?
What would you like to win
this group? I've not...
Furious 7 has to... There's never
been seven good anything.
Thing is though, if I've not seen
the first six,
am I going to be able to
pick it up seven in?
Do you know what? You will. Yeah.
You pretty much will.
Shall we take another look,
see what came last in this group?
Oh, Furious 7.
Just 3% for Furious 7.
Erm, third place? La La Land, 16%.
So it's between Black Panther
and Toy Story 3.
Both worthy
winners. Oh, I think so.
I would say. Both of them.
Let's find out.
Our third semifinalist is?
Toy Story 3.
APPLAUSE
So we have three semifinalists
so far.
Deadpool and Wolf of Wall Street and
then Toy Story.
Three very different movies.
Oh, it's so hard.
Three very different movies.
What's going to be our fourth semifinalist?
Going to be one of these four films.
And they are: Bridesmaids - nice to
see a proper good old comedy there.
Avengers Assemble, which is the one where they
go to Ikea, buy some flat-pack furniture.
Erm, The Lego Movie and Inception.
Those are the four movies there.
Oof, that's a tough choice,
isn't it?
Avengers Assemble, there's been
loads of great Marvel movies,
we put that in just because it
sort of feels like
the beginning of
that kind of golden age.
Now, quite often we hear things about
people who've given away spoilers.
I want to show you a clip here
where Mark Ruffalo, who's the Hulk,
I think he really is giving away a
spoiler here and the reason I think he is
is he's being interviewed with Don Cheadle,
and take a look at Don Cheadle's face
when Mark Ruffalo says the things
he's saying.
I think Mark Ruffalo is not supposed
to be saying what he's saying.
It's a lot of fun.
Did you succeed in saving it?
I can't... Can I say it? No.
I would imagine you guys... Can I just
give 'em a little, a little taste?
I wouldn't say too much but you
can say as much...
I mean, hey, it's your career.
Let me just say this - like every
other Marvel movie,
it doesn't end well
for the superheroes.
That's true. In Marvel
it doesn't end that well,
somebody always dies or gets
really badly hurt.
Wait til you see this next one,
everybody dies. Dude!
LAUGHTER
I may be wrong in that part. Yeah,
can you... You'll cut that bit.
That's not...
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Jon, have you seen Inception?
Yes, I did see it.
Did you understand what
was going on?
I think I did at the time.
It's the sort of film I enjoyed
and never want to see again.
Yeah. It's possible, though,
that we're still watching it.
No. Don't, don't, don't.
Don't, don't.
Lego Movie, anyone seen Lego Movie?
I have one fact about it - which is that it's
the most uncomfortable movie to stand on.
That's the only,
that's the only fact I have.
And Bridesmaids, nice to see
a comedy making a lot of money.
Proper funny. Is that what you'd
go for in this group? Yeah.
Comedy, it's really hard
to do comedy.
Being just really funny about real
life and getting married, that's hard.
Well, listen, as your career proves.
LAUGHTER
Wonderful. Erm, shall we find our
final semifinalist?
What is going up against Toy Story
3? In fourth place it is...
The Lego Movie, 17%. OK.
In third place? Ah, there goes
Bridesmaids.
Inception and Avengers Assemble,
you would assume Avengers Assemble.
Let's take a look.
What's our fourth semifinalist?
Inception is our fourth
semifinalist.
APPLAUSE
We've got our semifinals
for the Best Film of the Decade.
Join us after the break,
we'll playing those semifinals
and then we'll be finding
the Best Film of the Decade.
See you in a bit.
APPLAUSE
Hello there, welcome back to
World Cup Of The Decade.
We left you on a cliffhanger,
we left you with the four
semifinalists for the Best Film of the
Decade. Let's take a look at what they are.
We have Wolf Of Wall Street versus Deadpool
and we have Toy Story 3 versus Inception.
Wolf Of Wall Street or Deadpool,
what do we think's going to win
that?
Deadpool! OK, thank you, Lorraine.
Anybody else have an opinion, or?
Wolf Of Wall Street.
He was the first person to.
He invented Wows.
Let's find out what our first finalist
in the Best Film of the Decade is.
Wolf Of Wall Street. Boo!
Wolf Of Wall Street.
Boo. That's annoyed Lorraine.
What is Wolf Of Wall Street going
to face in that final?
Is it Toy Story 3 or is it
Inception? Let's find out.
Yes. Toy Story, safely through.
APPLAUSE
So, we have our final.
Lot of films released this decade.
We narrowed it down to 16 on
Twitter,
they narrowed it down to two, we are
now down to those final two.
And they are Wolf Of Wall Street
versus Toy Story 3.
Very, very similar films.
Erm, what do we think's going to
win this, Best Film of the Decade?
Toy Story 3.
Erm, Toy Story 3, audience?
MANY: Yes.
Anyone for Wolf Of Wall Street?
Yeah.
Four people, all of whom, by the way,
are doing lines of coke as we speak.
Let's find out, shall we?
What is the Best Film of the Decade?
Is it Wolf Of Wall Street or is
it Toy Story 3?
It's a landslide.
It's a landslide for Toy Story 3.
APPLAUSE
There we have it.
Listen, we've had four categories,
we've got four winners.
We have one more job to do, though.
We know what our winners are.
Sherlock won the Best Film, Best Song was
Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars,
Best New Thing was emojis,
and Best Film was Toy Story 3.
What is the Best Thing
of the Decade?
If you had to choose, Alex,
out of those? Emojis.
Emojis,
the Best Thing of the entire Decade.
It's been a tough ten years.
Rhianna, if you had to choose
one of these four?
As a film critic, I can't not say
Toy Story 3, of course.
Toy Story 3. Lorraine? If it's not
Deadpool, it's gotta be Toy Story 3.
Er. Jon?
LAUGHTER
And audience, we need you to choose
The Best Thing of the whole Decade
from those four winners, please.
I'm gonna give you ten seconds to
vote. Your time starts now.
Isn't it nice, by the way,
to have a vote where you actually
want one of them to win?
It makes a change, doesn't it?
OK, then, what is
the Best Thing of the Decade?
In fourth place it is?
Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson.
Isn't it awful to be the Best Song of the Decade
and then go, "Oh, I'm last. I came last!"
11%. Not as good as emojis.
Erm, in third place?
Oh. On 22! Can I say something?
If you fuckers have voted emojis,
I mean, come on.
LAUGHTER
Erm, let's find out what is
the Greatest Thing of the Decade.
Is it emojis, is it Toy Story 3?
The Greatest Thing of the Decade is?
Oh. Toy Story 3!
APPLAUSE
Beautiful. Well done.
Well done, audience.
That's nice.
The Greatest Thing of the Decade is
officially Toy Story 3.
Audience, you did beautifully.
Thank you so much,
Congratulations to Toy Story 3.
Here's a...
This is a beautiful little scene.
Now, Woody, he's been my pal
for as long as I can remember.
He's brave, like a cowboy should be.
And kind, and smart.
But the thing that makes
Woody special
is he'll never give up on you, ever.
He'll be there for you,
no matter what.
You think you can take care
of him for me?
OK, then.
GIGGLES
Ah, beautiful.
APPLAUSE
Beautiful.
Alex, Rhianna, Lorraine, Jon,
thank you so much for joining us.
Thank you so much at home, thank you
to everybody who voted, as well,
on Twitter for all these wonderful
World Cups of the Decade.
Been an absolute pleasure.
And we'll see you all again
in ten years' time.
APPLAUSE
Subtitles by Red Bee Media