Rich Man, Poor Girl (1938) - full transcript

Any special instructions, Joan?

First thing to remember is ..

To be here a half hour before
Mr Harrison in the morning.

Does he call me first and let me
know when he leaves the house?

Mr Harrison gets here at 9:30.

Personally, it's a little early for me.

Change his service twice a day.

Mr Harrison is very particular
about his drinking water.

How does he take it?
Hot, lukewarm or cold?

Pleasantly cool.

Do I feed it to him with an eyedropper?



See that he has plenty of sharp pencils.

He likes small ones this size.
So break them in half.

Are the big ones too heavy?

Then you open his mail.
Just the business letters of course.

You know, honey.
I think you're spoiling that boy.

As it's his office and his business I
think we can let him have his own way.

Don't you?
- Okay, Joan.

Don't you worry about Mr Harrison.

When you get back from vacation you'll
find everything just as you left them.

Good morning, Mr Harrison.
- Good morning, Joan.

Please don't let me disturb you.

I was just showing Miss Willis
where everything is.

She is taking my place.

Your what?



I am leaving today on my vacation.

That is a bit of bad news.

Miss Thayer.

I'm sorry.

I'll miss you

You know of course, if you go,
we may as well close up the place.

It really isn't that bad, Mr Harrison.

I'd like to hear your
notion of a vacation.

Well, it is a little boarding house
called Paradise in the Pines.

Twelve rooms. Three baths.

Two row boats and a hammock.
- Oh, please.

You deserve better than that.

You are too nice a girl, Joan.
- Thank you.

Now, wait a minute. Come on, sit down.

My boat, the Hilda, is
shipshape and ready to go.

I'll stock her with a couple of
respectable chaperones of both sexes.

We'll sail around The Cape
straight up to Bar Harbor.

My sister is there with her crowd.

Am I getting a reaction?

Definitely.

I will stick to Paradise in the Pines.

Now, Joan.

What is worrying you?

Well, I suppose it's because I'm really
because I am a nice girl, Mr Harrison.

Well, did I say no?

Have you a sister?
- Yes.

She might come along.

I have a mother and a father too, of
course. And a brother and a cousin.

Cousin Henry.
- That's a little crowded.

And they are all coming to
the station to see me off.

Listen to it, Mrs Thayer.

It's enough to drive you crazy.

I know whose radio it is.

He's a big drunk and a good-for-nothing.

And I'm getting all the tenants of both
buildings to complain to the police.

I think a man has the right to play the
radio in his own home if he wants to.

Even if it is a little annoying.

Well, he's making a
nervous wreck out of Fluffy.

I have a husband and four
young people living here.

They all work for a living and
they've all got to get their rest.

If they can get used to
it I think Fluffy can.

Three gross, number 585. Windows screws.

Number 585.

Window screws.

Pop, we'll never get through.
We haven't made a dent in this room yet.

Now take it easy, son.

We'll get down to the station in plenty
of time to say goodbye to Joan.

About forty gross half-inch,
number 9 fancy sink plugs.

Furnace blanks, sink plugs,
rubber plungers.

I can't stand the excitement.

Is that you talking, son?

It sounded for a minute like it
might be your cousin, Henry.

Henry is alright.

He may not hold a job long but there
is plenty doing while he has it.

I don't want to see any more styles.

All I want are my own
shoes that I wore in here.

Where are the shoes I wore in here?

Madam. Are you sure you had
shoes on when you came in?

How dare you.

Hey, mister.

Yes, madam? Can I help you?
- No.

I want my shoes so that
I can get out of here.

Henry, where are the lady's shoes?
- Mr Krauss, I can't find them.

What are you talking about?
- I can tell you where they are.

I think he packed them
in one of these boxes.

And put them back on the shelf.
- How can you do such a thing, Thayer?

How? I'll tell you how. I'm trying
to wait on five women at once.

None know what they want but
want me to find it for them.

I have only got two hands
and one pair of feet.

I can't do it, Krauss.
Nobody could do it.

That's enough, Thayer. We'll find your
shoes for you. You wait in my office.

I won't wait in your office, Krauss.
I will tell you right here.

Punch your time card. Get out of here.
- Krauss.

First, I'm, going to punch your nose
and then I'll punch my time and then ..

Ah.

Take her to the rest room.

You poor kid.

Thanks, Kate. It was the only way I
could figure out how to get out of this.

What?

My sister Joanie is leaving
on vacation today.

And I just get down to the
station to say goodbye to her.

"Ticonderoga and points north."

All aboard.

Wait a minute.
- Hold it, will you.

I'll handle this.

Why close the gate now when it takes
five minutes before the train departs?

Look mister, let go of my arm.

I know. I am very impressed with
your authority. We're all impressed.

But railroads are a public utility.

And as part of that public I demand
that you show us a little consideration.

Okay, mister.

Well, that's telling him, Henry.

That's your public servant.
- She'll never make it.

Something must have happened to Joan.

They've probably got her pounding the
typewriter until the very last minute.

She should have walked
out the way I did.

Henry. You didn't quit your job again?

I had to, uncle Phil.

Things were said to me
that I could not overlook.

And what did they say? You are fired?

Henry. And the way conditions are.
- I can't help it.

My principles are more
important to me than any job.

Hello. I am awfully sorry.

Joan. Where were you?

I'm not taking my vacation yet.

What?
- You are not?

That is a shame.
- They can't do that.

Well, I am so rushed ..

I mean we're all so rushed at the office
that I thought it better if I waited.

Do mean to say you're taking
this without putting up a fight?

But Henry, I don't want to fight.
Really I don't.

Sure. That's how people like us get
pushed around by people like them.

It does suit their convenience so ..

Boom. No vacation.

Joan, it doesn't seem fair.

If Joanie is satisfied
that's all there is to it.

It is alright with me, darling.

What good does it do for
us to stick up for our rights?

A girl like Joan comes along
and puts us back fifty years.

Hey.

What have you got in your back pockets?

Shoes.

Holy mackerel. That is where they were.

We still haven't received
an office plan for this floor.

Tell the supervising architect.

Alright?

Yes.

Joan.

Bill.
- I love you.

Don't say that, Bill.

Darling, will you please do
me the very great honor ..

Of becoming my wife?

You said 'wife' exactly
as though you meant it.

Why shouldn't I mean it?

You mean, your wife?

You are not being very bright, dearest.

And I thought you were just a ..

A no-good .. swell .. guy.

I love you.

Bill.

Darling.

Will you please take me
off this building now.

Why are you crying, darling?
- I don't know. I ..

I did fall and bang my head.

I am unconscious. I am dreaming.

This should have happened
six months ago.

Six months shot to bits.

We drive to Connecticut, get married ..

And by this time tomorrow we'll
be on the boat on our way.

Married tonight you mean?
- Yes.

Bill. That is for the movies.
- No. This isn't.

But .. there is the family.

Family?

Just my sister Sally and
two broken down aunts ..

No. Not yours. Mine.

I wasn't found in a flowerpot, darling.

Your family, angel face?
We'll go right up and tell them.

No, please. Let me tell them myself.

I'll do it better on my own.

I give you a 5-minute head start
so you'd better tell them fast.

Well. I gave it to him
straight from the shoulder.

'That's how fellows like you get
to be sales managers' I said.

'By crucifying the rest of us'.

You mean you left your
new position, Henry?

Fired again, huh?

I wouldn't work for a firm that tried
to put over that hypocritical bunk.

They can pay me for my time but
they cannot pollute my reason.

And you have been there three weeks.

I must be slipping.

And I ain't getting wise to
them as quick as they used to.

Is that you, Joan?

Yes, Ma.

Hello everybody. Hello Pa.

Hello darling.
- Hello Ma.

I thought you were having
dinner downtown.

I'll fix you something now.
- No. I am not a bit hungry.

Joan, is anything wrong?
- No, dear. No.

Not much.

You haven't lost your position?
- No, Pa.

What's up?

Come on, Joan. What's has happened?

Here it is.

I am going to be married.

Married?

You're what?

Joan, that is marvellous.
Who is the lucky guy?

Joanie, quick. I can't bear it.

Well.

It's Bill.

Bill?
- Bill who?

Mr Harrison.

Mr Harrison?
- Your boss?

You mean that multi-billionaire
you work for?

Oh yippee!

My sister has hit the jackpot.

I am mighty glad.

If you love him.

And he loves you.

Oh, mum. Wait until you meet him.

He is a fine boy. I'm sure of that.

Well, Joan.

I hope it works out.
- Oh, what's wrong with you two chumps?

This is the greatest thing that
ever happened to this family.

What are you getting
all puffed up about?

Because Harrison is rich?

The finest man alive today probably
hasn't got an extra shirt to his back.

Money is a crime.

Unless there is character
at the back of it.

Listen. Anybody with that much money
has plenty of character with me.

I'd like to meet the young man, Joan.
- You will.

He'll be here any minute.

Any minute?
- Coming to this dump?

Helen.

Henry. Frank.
Help clear away this table.

Helen, that parlor should be dusted.

Oh, Ma. Nothing but a
fire would help that parlor.

Don't make a fuss please.
He isn't at all a guest.

Just the same, he isn't
coming to a messy house.

You get fixed up.
Boys, put on your coats and ties.

Goodnight, I'm sunk. What will I wear?

Joan, how about your
blue Burberry? Thanks.

I guess I had better change
to a fresh shirt myself.

I still can't believe it.
It's goofy. It's marvellous.

Is he handsome, Joan?
Not that it makes any difference.

I think he is.
- Big or little?

About six feet I guess.

Hmm. Tall, rich and handsome.
A triple threat man.

That reminds me of Tom Grogan.
The contrast is terrific.

A clean shirt. This will throw
me off schedule for a week.

Well, let him come.

What kind of a guy do you think he is?

One of those regular fellows.
Very democratic.

Have you seen my front collar button?

Yes. It's in the propeller there.

Again.

Would you please stop building
aeroplanes with my collar buttons.

Come in.

Well, do we pass?
- Bring him on.

He may be richer but he can't be cleaner
than us. The worst we can get is a tie.

Joan, you have got a run.

Oh well.

You can't meet a man like that
with a run in your stocking.

She has done alright so far.

[ Buzzer ]

There is the bell.
- The bell for the first round.

I'll go. I'll go. I'll go.

Good evening, Mr Harrison.
- Hello.

I am Helen.

Joan's little sister.

How do you do, Helen.
- Hi.

It is rather hot to drag yourself up ..

Three flights isn't it.
- Not at all.

Well, I will tell Joan you're here.
- Thank you.

She is .. she is expecting you.

Joanie. Joanie, he is wonderful.
He is absolutely adorable.

I don't care if he didn't have a cent.
- That's what I think.

Bill.

Did you tell them, darling?
- Yes.

They are in there waiting
for me to call them.

They are coming.

They're coming. See, Pop.

The college education paid off alright.

This is Bill, everybody.
This is my mother, Bill.

How do you do, mother.
Very happy to meet you.

Thank you. You caught
us at kinda short notice.

I am in a great hurry to marry Joan.

My dad.
- How do you do, sir.

Hello .. glad to meet you, Mr Harrison.

Well, let's keep it 'Bill'.
- You've met my sister.

Oh, yes. Of course.
- We've met.

My brother Frank.

Hello.

And my cousin Henry.

Hello Henry.
- Hello.

Well, won't you sit down please?

Thank you. Thank you.

I hope you will just let me drop
in to the family circle and ..

I'll try to be as little
trouble as possible.

No trouble.
- Helen.

Well .. Mr Harrison.

'Bill', please.

I admit it is all very sudden.

But at the same time
Joan knows her own mind.

Still, in all I think there
is one or two things ..

We ought to know before ..

Well, that is ..

Before you get married.

Certainly. Fire away.

Well, I ..

I don't suppose there is any question
about your being able to ..

Support our daughter.

I think you'd better ask Joan that. She
knows more about my business than I do.

Don't worry, father.

They'll be able to make both ends meet.

Hey.

Turn down that radio and shut up.

Ah, shut up yourself, you big baboon.

What did you call me?

A baboon.

You big ape.

Just a couple of social climbers.

I don't know what's happened
to this neighborhood.

It was so quiet and refined
when we first moved in.

How do you know? You were born here.

So you think that's loud, eh?

How do you like this?

I think we will be more
comfortable in the parlor.

Come on, Pop.

Really, I ..

That is alright. Go ahead mister ..

Bill.
- No, please.

I was about to say I'd like
to offer you a drink but ..

I doubt we have anything in the house.

Oh, dad. Are we out again?

Again?

When do we ever keep any liquor?

How about a cigar?

Well ..

I've got a fine cigar I've
been saving for somebody.

I never touch them myself. Frank, look
in my bureau drawer behind the socks.

See if you can find that
glass tube with a cigar in it.

I don't think Bill really
wants a cigar, father.

Oh, he will want this one.

I got it at a hardware
convention last season.

Mr Hankey gave it to me himself.

That's it. There you are, Bill.

Thank you very much.

It seems to be a little dry.

No, no. It is fine.

There.

I guess it is a little too dry.

Don't bother smoking it, Bill.

No, no. I am enjoying it.

Joan, darling. You haven't
told us about your honeymoon.

Where do you plan to go?

Bill has a boat.
- Well it ..

Well, it isn't much of a boat.

Gee. I know where I would go.

Tell us, Helen.

Oh .. Paris and ..

And Hawaii.

Yeah. They are right
next door to each other.

What do you say, Joan?

Yes, Bill. Any place.
- Then that is it.

Gee.

Gee, I just go limp thinking about it.

Paris and Hawaii.

Sounds pretty good.

Just like that, huh?

Mr Harrison.

I wonder if you would mind
answering a personal question.

Shoot, Henry.

How does it feel to be rich?

I expected that from you.

What business is it of yours, Henry?

I didn't mean to offend Mr Harrison.
We're all one big family.

I never thought about it very much.

What do you mean?
- Please.

Don't encourage him.

How does it feel to know you can hop on
an ocean liner whenever you want to?

That you never need worry about a bill.

That you can buy and sell practically
everybody you meet on the street.

It feels alright.

What I am driving at is ..

Whether you don't feel a whole
lot superior to people like us.

Well, of all the nerve.

Sorry. I don't.

I want to warn you that
this is chronic with Henry.

There's a million things a
fellow like you ought to know.

And I suppose never would know
unless you came across a guy like me.

I haven't exactly led a
sheltered life myself, Henry.

I personally deal with all
the men who work for me.

What kind of men?

Bricklayers, plasterers,
pick and shovels and ..

That is exactly what I
am not talking about.

No?

Well then, what are you talking about?

The rest of the people that
make up this country.

The great big middle class that
furnishes the armies and navies.

And that nobody outside themselves
ever talks about or even thinks about.

Except you.

Now, take us right here for instance.
We are just plain people.

We work for a living. Work like horses.

We get a few dollars ahead and ..

Something always
happens to take it away.

So, we start all over again.

But do we kick about it?

No. We stick it through.
And what do we get for it?

That is my question, Mr Harrison.
What do we get for it?

I think we'd all like to
have some iced tea.

Do you want to help me, Henry?

Don't pay attention to him, Bill.
He is like that all the time.

[ Doorbell ]

That sounds like Tom.

Oh, Frank. I don't want to see him.

Tell him I am busy.

Take it easy, boy. I'm coming, Relax.

When Tom is in here he just
acts rough like that because ..

He is really very shy.

Did you meet Mr Grogan,
the strong man of the block?

We let him pin us to the mat now and
then for the honor of the neighborhood.

I'm glad to meet you, Grogan.
- Likewise.

I didn't get the name.

Bill Harrison.

Welcome. What line are you in?

Tommy.

Mr Harrison is at the
head of his own business.

So what? So am I.

What's your racket?

Real estate and buildings.

Me too. I've got three
trucks working all the time.

Ha.

What is so funny?

I don't think it is exactly the
time to talk business, Tommy.

We didn't have a chance to tell you yet
but Joan and Mr Harrison are engaged.

Well.

What do you know.

Congratulations.
- Thank you.

Congratulations.

Now we can make it a double wedding.

What do you say, Helen?

Tom doesn't mean it.

He is just joking.

What do you mean, joking?

Any time I walk up three flights
of stairs three nights a week ..

My intentions are serious.

Tommy. If we're going to go to the
movies we'd better get started.

What movies?

Ah, she is a jitterbug. If it ain't
dancing, it's the movies, then dancing.

Refreshments.

Let me help you, Ma.
Rebecca at the well.

Nice work, Rebecca.

Well, that is all of us, Bill.

Including Mr Grogan.

What did Helen call him? Shy?

Gee, my heart broke for that
poor kid. She tried so hard.

Explaining us all over the place.

Joan, I have got to get you out of this.

It's pretty awful, isn't it.

Oh no. I didn't mean that.

Well.

I .. hate to see people poor.

And I am not going to let
your family stay here either.

Including Henry.

I am crazy about them all.

So crazy you just told me
you had to get me out of this.

Bill, I am stupid but ..

I don't think we can rush ahead
the way you would like.

Why not?

Because we don't want an overnight
honeymoon and a 24-hour divorce.

You don't know anything about
us and you had better find out.

Why?

I've found out I love you.

And that is all I care about.

Oh darling, I should grab you and run.

Now you are talking.

But I love my family very much.

And they love me.

I couldn't let myself become
a stranger to them.

Didn't they know you'd
get married and ..

Leave them one day?

Of course.

But not to anybody like you, darling.

To them, you are some vague
figure from another world.

And that is what I would be.

Coming back here to visit.

A stranger.

With a handful of your money.

I want to ease them
into the idea of you.

But I think that's the right
thing to do for your sake too.

Working together in an office does
not mean that you know me, Bill.

Well, maybe not.

But if we'd done what I had wanted to
do we'd have been married by now.

Instead of standing on
a roof talking a lot of ..

Who did that?

Who did that?

You have hurt Fluffy.

Good morning, Ma.
- Good morning, Bill.

Did you know Joan sent me this?

Yes, Bill.

Don't you think she's
being very foolish?

Yes I do.

You sure don't get to marry
a rich young man every day.

Or as nice as you either.

Thank you, Ma.

My girls are old enough to know
what to think for themselves.

If Joan wants a little more time to get
used to the idea I guess it's alright.

Why?

You see, I need a mother's advice.

I suppose she figures if you
want her you'll keep her alright.

I guess you weren't drunk when
you asked you to get married.

What is it that Joan wants?

Do you know, Ma?

It is my fault, son.

I am a Bisby.

I guess Joan is a Bisby too.

Now, that don't mean a thing to you.

But you go up the coast.

Up around Punxsutawney.

And I guess they're still saying ..

As contrary as a Bisby.

Are you from down east, Ma?

Yes, Bill.

My Pa and his folks were whalers
and traders from way back.

Captains, some to them.

My grandma, and my ma too.

Knew the China coast better
than they did their own home.

Too stubborn to sit home
and wait for their men.

Was Mr Thayer, Pa .. was he a ..

No, Bill.

I was seventeen when Pa came through
Punxsutawney. Drummond Hardware.

We rented him the spare
room in our house.

I made up my mind to
marry him and I did.

We came back here and
we've been here ever since.

Do you ever miss it up there, Ma?

Hand me another clothes pin, Bill.

You are the only member of this family
who really knows what she wants.

Yes.

Well, you don't know what people want.

Until you've lived with
them a long time.

You would think Pa would
be sick of hardware by now.

He still wants to own his own store.

My Frank wants to build airplanes.

My Helen wants to be a society
girl and wear pretty clothes.

Henry has been living with
us since he was fourteen.

And in all that time he's itched
to go to places in the world ..

And do things with adventure in them.

And what does Joan want?

Joan is a contrary
Bisby like I told you.

I didn't question her.

Ma.

When I realised I was much in love with
Joan I wanted to get married right away.

I heard her ..

Arguments against it and
I can't agree with her.

Well, you will both be all the
better for having his out before.

People from different places in
life, different religions or ideas.

Should have it all out first.

And know what it is that
makes the other one tick.

Before they settle down together.

And how long does that take?

If you want each other bad enough ..

It don't take long.

Listen, Ma. I'm going to do something
about this and do it right away.

And you're going to help me.

Remember what you told me about Pa and
that spare room up at Punxsutawney?

Henry.

Henry.

There is going to be a lot of jobs
open in six months, aunt Alice.

'Got to come back in six months'.
That's all I've heard all day.

Never mind.

Get yourself showered while you can.
The others will be here any minute.

Hello, Henry.

It's a funny thing.

A man eats at a table all his life but
when he sets it for the first time ..

He can't remember where the forks go.
- Well.

Are you going to break
bread with us tonight?

If it's alright with you.
- Me?

Bill, I am glad they let me eat here.

What is the matter? A tough day?

Yeah.

I'd like to ask you a purely
rhetorical question.

You mean I don't have
to answer this one?

Since you can't.

Did you by any chance ever pound
the pavements looking for a job?

Ever fill out forty application blanks
and intelligence tests in one day ..

Trying to snag a 20-buck position?

Did you ever take a thorough
physical examination ..

To prove your fitness to sell electric
mothballs on a strict commission basis?

No.
- Of course not.

So let's drop the whole subject.

But that doesn't mean I don't
recognise ability when I see it.

What kind of a job were you looking for?

One that I get myself.

Thanks.

Ma.
- Yes, Helen?

I got to grab myself a
shower before supper.

Mother, we are home.

I'll take a shower Ma, and be right out.

Say, wait a minute.
- I was first.

Let me get in there ..
- Easy, easy.

Bill.
- Bill?

Hello, darling.

The mountain wouldn't come to work so
Mohammed got himself asked to dinner.

Alright?

Yes, Bill.

Why, Bill.
- Good evening, dad.

Hello Frank.
- Hello Bill.

I guess we had better ask them now.

Ask us what?

Or should we wait for Helen?
- You've got a long wait.

Helen.

Helen. Come out here quick.

If anyone objects to what I'm going
to ask please be perfectly honest.

I am not crazy and I
know what I am doing.

Some things were said last
night that I don't believe.

I am going to find out if they are true.

What do you want?

Oh. Excuse me.

Wait a minute, Helen.

I ..

I have asked Ma to let me
stay here for a few days.

Huh?
- What?

Stay here?
- In this dump?

And he claims he isn't crazy.

I don't think it's a dump.
You get along alright.

I don't see why, because you
don't live on Park Avenue ..

I have to postpone marrying Joan.

I want to find out what makes
all the so-called difference.

That has nothing to do with it.

Nothing at all, Bill.

But Bill, there's no
place for you to sleep.

Yes, there is. I discovered the couch
in the living room is a Davenport.

That's even uncomfortable to sit on.

You won't be able to stand
the heat in there, Bill.

You stand it alright.

How love is the strangest thing.

Henry.

Ma and I agreed.

One blackball and I am out.

Then I vote 'yes'.

That count might change
your whole outlook on life.

Thanks.

Joan?

Would you mind stepping
into the next room?

Certainly not, dear.

Now Bill, you get your
hat and leave quietly.

Afraid to have me stay here?

Let's not be childish. This isn't funny.

Now, darling. You asked for a chance
to work this out in your own way.

Now, be on the level and
give me the same chance.

Bill, you're trying to
laugh me out of it.

Of course I am. I think you're silly.

Understanding your family comes
down to sleeping on a Davenport.

Do you really think so?

Now, If you want to get your things and
come and get married, okay darling.

Bill, you have the money to
get your way in most things.

But it's not going to be
quite so easy this time.

I don't want to be
rescued from the slums.

When I marry you it will
be for my whole life.

Come what may.

I have tried to explain that we
have a problem with my family ..

Because I won't let myself
be cut off from them.

I want to work it out myself.

Is that too much to ask, Bill?

I want to be with you.

Either you come with me or I stay here.

You wouldn't last 24 hours.

We'll see about that.
- No.

Well, we get one break anyway.

The mosquitoes round here must be pretty
tired of biting the usual poor people.

Good night, Frank.
- Goodnight.

[ Door knocks ]

Come in.

Ice water.

Florence Nightingale.

What's that for?

I think you should have a
chance to defend yourself.

Joan.

Come back to the office, Joan.
I need you.

I suppose I may as well.
- Don't make any snap judgements.

Sleep on it.

Goodnight, dear.

Goodnight.

[ Loud music ]

Bill?

Bill.

Hey, everybody.

Our guest took a powder.
- Oh, really?

I knew he wouldn't last.
- Listen to this.

'Dear family. It's 6am Sunday morning'.

'The radio across the street
predicts a heatwave today'.

'Let's all duck out on it
with a nice, cool sail'.

'Please meet me at my boat the Hilda'.

'At 79th Street and Hudson
river as soon as possible'.

'Love, Bill'.

Let me see it.

A yacht too, huh.

Oh boy, this is what I've
been dreaming of.

Us .. stretched out on the deck.

Drinking champagne through a straw.

While the cool breeze
tickles me to death.

Yippee!
- Pretty classy, huh?

Joanie, can I wear your
pale green sports shoes?

What's he trying to do? Break us down
so we won't be able stand this place?

Yeah. That guy isn't so stupid.

He has another guess coming
as far as I'm concerned.

Think we should go, Joan?

Why not, Pa? If Bill wants to
show us the finer things of life.

And you and Frank can stay home
if you feel that way about it.

Stay home? No chance.

I am going to get a load of this
rolling in dough on the rolling deep.

I never heard such ingratitude.
Get dressed all of you.

So we can weigh anchor and set off.

Before the tied starts running.

Sailing, sailing, over the bounty bay.

La de da dum di ..

It must be this one. It is the biggest.

But it's an ocean liner.

It must cost a pile of money, eh mother?

I suggest from stem to
stern she is 120 feet.

She must carry a crew of eight or ten.

Gee, just think last night he
was sleeping in our parlor.

Do we have to swim out?

She hangs davits with two dories.

Talk English, will you Ma.

That can't be the Hilda.
The boatyards aren't that large.

Well, he's got a captain, hasn't he?
And a first mate and a cook.

And a stooge to get seasick for him.

Hello folks.

Come on aboard.
We got a great day for sailing.

So this is the Hilda?

Yes. What do you think of her?

Kinda small, isn't it?

Small? She's the fastest
job in these waters.

We thought it was that one over there.

That tub? That is playboy stuff.

That's not a boat. It's a hotel.

Hello honey.
- Hello.

You wouldn't like it.

No .. I guess not.

Bill .. she's trim and sweet.

I'd like to see her go.

You will, Ma.

Is this what they call 'sailing'?

Well, until we get out aways.

Look at all those houses.

Yes. Must be mighty cool
out there facing the water.

If you must live in a city that's
the place to do it, isn't it.

Must get good money up around here, huh?

No, not so much.

You know, I own a bit of that property
and most of those apartments are empty.

I'll tell you what I will do, Pa.
I'll make you a proposition.

You furnish the family
and I will furnish the flat.

Do you mean it, Bill?

Why not? They are not doing
anyone any good up there empty.

Ha.

Ha, what?

Nothing.

A place up there costs three
thousand a year if it cost a cent.

Why couldn't you just drop into the
water while nobody was looking?

I think there is something
to what Henry says, Bill.

I've never had to thank
anybody for anything.

And I don't want to start now.

Of course, if I could pay
my share I'd be willing.

But I can't.

You wouldn't mind a little more
room to breathe in would you, Ma?

It's mighty kind of you, Bill.

But Pa is head of the family.

There is no use getting sore, Bill.

But it just shows how little you
understand people like us.

I understand you.

I wish some shark would
climb up here and get you.

Helen.

We happen to have some
pride and independence.

Playing the benefactor to a lot
of poor victims is great sport.

But it doesn't change the system.

Ah, go and walk the plank.

Henry, is it your mission in life to
see that nobody enjoys himself?

It is too beautiful a day to quarrel.

I think I know how we all feel.

No-one wants to use it.

But the word is 'charity'.

The family won't take charity, Bill.

She is starting to spank, Bill.

Right, Ma. Hold the tiller can you Henry
while I go forward and hoist the sail.

This is a bit out of my line.

Oh. It won't bite you.

Keep her fast on this course.

Need a hand, Bill?

Fine, Ma. You can help tie her off.

If I remember how.

Why .. I say. There is nothing to this.

It is like handling a baby carriage.

That is the stuff, matey.

Hey.

What are you trying to do?

I thought you said it was
like pushing a baby carriage.

Have a heart, Bill.

Sailing, sailing over the bounding main.

There is many a stormy breeze to blow.

What is wrong, Philip?

I think I will lie down.

I feel drowsy.

Did you say .. drowsy?

Open your collar and stretch out a bit.

Bless you.

Some salad, Henry?

No thanks. You can have my share of it.

You can have my share of
the whole expedition.

Nonsense. You can live very
nicely on a boat like this.

Sure. Tarzan lives in a tree.

What did you think this morning
when you found I was gone?

I'm not doing any thinking at all, Bill.

Or any talking either.

You've taken it up with the family
and I will leave it with them.

You look so lovely.

Did you sleep at all?

I'll die for you darling but I won't
lie to you about that Davenport.

Ghastly?

I'll lick it.

You're spoiling us, Ma.

Don't you catch cold, Joan.

No. She won't.

Hello, Miss Thayer.

Morning, Miss Harrison. How are you?
- Fine, thank you.

You're still the smartest
looking girl in town.

Is my brother here?
- Go right in.

Thank you.

Bill.

Bill.

Hello, baby.
- Tired?

No. I was just .. lying here thinking.

Lucky I came in or you'd have
fallen asleep in a minute.

Well, I've been ..

Having a little insomnia lately.

Where were you having it? I tried
to get you everywhere last night.

Sally, I have got great news.

I think I am engaged to Joan.

Miss Thayer?
- The same.

Oh, Bill.

That's the first really sensible
thing you have done all summer.

Congratulations, darling.

Or aren't you sure yet?

Well, it is a little complicated
unless you know the Thayers.

They are a very proud race and
cousin Henry is their prophet.

Who is cousin Henry?

Cousin Henry is the man who
invented the great middle class.

He's very keen on it.

Its independence. Its pride and habit
of getting stuck no matter what happens.

He is very proud of that.
- You know them well?

Know them? I've fallen
in love with all of them.

Including Henry.

And I'm going to help them out.

Whether they like it or not.

'Equatorial Export Company Limited.
26 Wall Street. Mr Henry Thayer'.

'Dear sir, would you be good enough to
see me at my office at 11am July 7th ..'

'On a matter of the utmost
importance to yourself'.

'Very truly yours,
L. L. Potter. General Manager'.

What's the gag?

Did I ever apply for
a job at that place?

What about your new job at
the Firmin Haberdashery?

I was just getting sick of
that job at Firmin's anyway.

Frankie.

I got a feeling that this is
the turning point in my life.

Wow!

'Henry Matthews Thayer.
Equatorial Export Company Limited'.

Burra-bruco, Brazil.

Stick tight, baby.
We're going to see the world.

I found it, Henry.

Here it is right here.
Just two inches off the coast.

Every one of those inches is about
a thousand miles down in Brazil.

You just follow the
coast right down to Rio.

Rolling down to Rio.

You lucky stiff.
- Lucky?

My dear amigo, Francisco.

The outside world recognises
my talents even if you do not.

What I can't understand is how you
got the job without any investigation.

You know. That's all taken care of
even before they approach a man.

This Mr Potter who wrote me this morning
knew more about me than I do myself.

If possible.

That Spanish you took in night
school is going to come in handy.

Yeah. Except that they
speak Portuguese in Brazil.

Henry.

See me, junior.

How would you like to take
my picture with you?

Wow. I'll wear it on my bureau.

Right next to my hairbrushes.

And if you find any stray Brazilian
cattle kings, you know you ..

Might pass it around.

What's the matter with Tom Grogan?

Outside of everything, nothing.

I wish you wouldn't go dancing with him
if you felt that way about him, Helen.

It took me three months to
teach him to truck on down.

And I am going to collect.

[ Loud music ]

Shush.

Do you hear that? My native song.

The se?oritas will swoon
when they see my tongue.

Amigos.

All set, Henry?
- Yeah.

Boy, what a satisfaction when I went
up to old man Firmin and gave him this.

I told him I was quitting
tonight and told him why.

I envy you.

You know, I'd like to stick
around and civilise you, Bill.

But .. business prevents.

Listen, everybody. We must celebrate.

What do you say we throw a farewell
party for Henry someplace?

Bill, that's a swell idea.

What about your date with
Tom the 'trucking truckman'?

Oh, him?
- Bring him along.

No. One drink and he would be
trying toeholds on all the waiters.

This is a family affair.

I'll reserve a table.

That is mighty nice of you, Bill.
- It sure is, kid.

If you ever happen to pass through
Brazil I want you to remember that ..

My hacienda is your hacienda.

Here's to you, Henry.

Bon voyage and all the
success you deserve.

You ought not to wish him
that kind of hard luck.

Thank you.

My friends.

I can only say that ..

Isn't that gorgeous.

Boy, you sure do things right, Bill.

You are an angel.

Speech, speech.

Bill.

I am speechless.

For the first time in his life.

Don't bother saying it, Henry.
We will drink a silent toast.

No thank you, Bill. I don't
think I could take any more.

Come on, Ma. Let's celebrate.

Sure, Bill. Let her rip. I'll have
fifteen days on the boat to sober up.

Say, what do you know?
There is Mr Potter's assistant.

Wait a minute.

Who is Mr Potter?

He is the manager of
the Equatorial Exports.

He gave Henry this job.

Excuse me. I have to phone.

Bill.

Folks, this is Mr Allen.
Mr Potter's assistant.

The man who made me possible.

How do you do.

Good evening.

And this is Bill Harrison.

Oh yes. I know Mr Harrison.
Good evening, sir.

You know him?
- Oh, certainly.

Mr Harrison and Mr Potter are ..
- Glad to see you again, Allen.

Please. Please don't let
me disturb your party.

Well. Good luck again, Thayer.

What was his name, Bill?

Allen.

So you and Potter know each other, huh?

Casually. Come on, cut the cake, Henry.

Just casually, huh?

I know lots of people.

You didn't have anything to do with
him offering me this job, did you?

That is silly, Henry.

You framed this.

You did, didn't you?

Well, what about it? Suppose he did?

Did you?

Now listen, Henry. Get this straight.

If Potter didn't want you
you wouldn't have the job.

Potter?

Potter wanted me because
you told him to want me.

I told him about you, yes.
And he agreed to see you.

But you sold yourself.

What was the idea?

To get me out of the way?

Or to have them slip me a dose of ..

Bula-bula or whatever the
native poison is down there?

Have I got you pegged right or not?

Henry. Potter liked
you and he hired you.

I don't do business with him so
he is under no obligation to me.

Now, you can take the
job or not, as you like.

But you would be foolish if you didn't.

Well, I am not taking it.

What?

Henry, please.

Henry, you could have a great
future in South America.

And you've waited for
this chance so long.

Bill thinks his money empowers him
to dispose of other people's lives.

Well, he is not going
to dispose of mine.

I have been waiting for this chance.

All my life.

And when it came I said to myself ..

At last somebody recognises my ability.

My ability?

What a laugh that is.

I will go home with him and talk to him.

I am sorry.

I think I can bring him
around better than anybody.

I wouldn't have had this happen
for anything in the world.

Don't you worry, Bill.
That was a fine, generous thing you did.

Only it didn't turn
out right. That's all.

I think Henry appreciates
what you did for him, Bill.

If you ask me I think he's
acting like a big cluck.

I think we'd better go, Pa.

No. Wait, Ma. Please.

Let's not go yet.
Let's not break up the party.

There is no reason why
you children can't stay.

Thank you, Bill. Goodnight.

Goodnight, Bill.
- Goodnight.

I beg your pardon, Mr Harrison.

That cake was not a success?

Alec, that cake was probably one of the
most successful cakes ever baked here.

It blew them right off the roof.

Bill.

Bill. Please let's dance.

Come on. Please.

Please.
- Alright. Let's dance.

Tom, be a good guy will you and beat it.

After I knock this Harrison's teeth out.

Well, it's none of your business.

Helen had a date with me
and he made her break it.

She broke it herself.
After all, she's not married to you.

Well, she's going to be.

And no playboy is going take her
around to swell hotels and shows.

She goes where I want her to go.

And if I don't go she stays home, see.

She's in a taxi.
- What does she do, walk home?

Oh.

Hello, Tom.

Look. What do you think you're doing?
- What do you mean?

You fold up and keep out of this.
- Tom. Will you go home.

I'm going to learn you not to fool
around with my fianc?e, bigshot.

I am not your fianc?e.
- I told you to shut up.

Wait a minute, Tom. That's no way to
talk to the girl you're going to marry.

Don't tell me what do. I am telling you.

I am going to smack you right
between those baby blue eyes.

You mean you want to fight
me on account of Helen?

I'm not going to fight you.
I'm going to beat your brains out.

Wait a minute.

Yellow too, huh?

Satisfied, stupid?

Good morning, Ma.
- Good morning, Bill.

Good morning, Henry.
- Hello.

I'll get you some fresh coffee here.
- Thank you, Ma.

Where is Joan?

The working brigade has departed.

Any leads?

No. Nothing but bond salesmen.

You know, Henry. If it hadn't been
for me and that Brazilian bust.

You wouldn't have given
up your last job.

I was on the verge of quitting anyway.

I only wanted to give you
a chance to prove yourself.

Sure you did.

You just didn't think about
it from my viewpoint.

I'm doing a lot more thinking
than I used to at that.

Thanks to you, Henry.

Ah. Those industrial accident
statistics you quoted last night.

Are they on the level?

Absolutely.

Thank you, Ma.

You take hospitalisations ..
- You let Bill eat his breakfast, Henry.

That is alright, Ma.

Just to show you the injustice.

You take a millionaire's appendix.
It goes wrong. What happens?

They take him to the hospital, cut it
out and charge him $15,000 for the job.

And he never even feels it.

Never feels it?
- Paying the bill, I mean.

Oh.

Now then, you take your poor laborer's
appendix that starts acting up.

He goes to a clinic.

The same surgeon operates on him
but doesn't charge him a dime.

So he doesn't feel it either, does he.

Uhuh.

But.

Get between them.

Look at the other 80% of the population.
Me for instance. The great middle class.

Let's assume that my
appendix goes haywire.

Sooner or later I've got to come
across with five hundred smackers.

Before I pay it I go without clothes
and starve myself to death for a year.

Is that fair?

No.
- Yeah.

Coming down town?

Thanks. I'll ride as far as
Union Square with you.

I'm making that my
headquarters for today.

Good morning, Miss Thayer.
- Good morning.

No, no. Sit there.

I had a very interesting discussion
with Henry on the way down.

That starts the day now, does it?

Since you moved in with us
I've lost you to Henry, Bill.

Are you jealous, Miss Thayer?

Oh, Bill.

Now, Miss Thayer, I have a
very busy day ahead of me.

I want you to give me a complete
list of all my holdings.

Also the folder on the
Scarborough property.

What for?

My dear Miss Thayer.

A well-trained secretary
never asks what for.

I also want my current bank
balances and broker accounts.

I .. think that just about covers it.

Bill.

What are you going to do?

I can't tell you yet.

But it is something that is
going to make us all very ..

Very happy.

You mean Bill didn't come
home at all last night?

He didn't even telephone me.

That is not like Bill.

He acted so strangely
at the office yesterday.

Can you blame him, coming
home to this Davenport?

I'd bet anything he's asleep somewhere
on a nice comfortable iron railing.

Joan. Didn't he ..?
- No. He didn't.

I wouldn't be surprised if he went
up to Maine to see his sister.

And not even call me?

Don't get yourself worked up, dear.

I can't help it, Ma. I've lost Bill.

He loves you, Joan. It's time you
got him out of here and married him.

Don't you worry, Ma. I will.

If he still wants me.

I was too proud to go away with
him when he snapped his fingers.

What's the good of pride that makes
you a hypocrite to yourself?

I love Bill, Ma.
And that is all that counts now.

There he is now.

What is it?

What has happened to Bill?
- Isn't her here?

No. He hasn't been home all night.

This is Sally, Ma. Bill's sister.

How do you do, Sally.
Won't you sit down?

Thank you.

Hello.

Hello. Has anything happened?

A great deal has happened.

What is the matter, Joan?
- I don't know yet.

This is my family.
This is Bill's sister.

Do you mean to say Bill has
not said anything to you?

About what?

About giving all his money away?

What?

Giving all his money away?

I don't understand.

You mean that Bill is ..

Giving all his money away, Mr Thayer.

But why?

Well, the big feature of his plans
seems to be to endow a hospital.

It will cost about 3 million dollars.

The rest of his money it to
go to start a foundation ..

For the vocational training of the ..

Of the great middle class?

Yes. Something fantastic like that.
Of course, he is out of his mind.

The great middle class?

You do know that Bill's disposing of all
his properties for whatever he can get?

And turning everything into cash.

I don't know anything.
He hasn't told me anything.

His lawyer called yesterday to warn me.

I drove all night to get here.

You see, a lot of my money is
wrapped up in those properties.

And I'm not going to stand
by and see them sacrificed.

But Sally, he will listen to you.
- I doubt it.

His lawyer tells me he goes on raving
about 'having found his life's work'.

That this will be a monument
to the Harrison name.

You mean he's turning everything into ..
- I don't believe it.

What can we do?

I would take our lawyer's advice.

He says if Bill won't
listen to reason ..

We just bring him into court and
prove that he's incompetent.

Sally, you wouldn't do that?

I certainly would.

I am on my way to
Mr Stanton's office now.

He suggested that I bring you.

Yes. I won't be a second.

I didn't mean for him to go crazy.

All I did was explain to him about
people like us. The 90 million people.

He believed you and he's
giving his dough away.

But that isn't the idea.
- Pardon me.

Would you please tell Joan
I will see her in the car.

You big dope.

If things aren't tough enough for Bill,
you have got to fight with his sister.

Half the time I was only kidding him.

Kidding him?

We get six million dollars in the
family and you have got to kid him?

I suppose it can't be helped that my
brother had a jackass for a son.

You leave my father alone.
- Don't speak to uncle Phil like that.

Then tell him to lay off of my family.

Use that tone again and I'll give you
the worse licking you ever had.

Cut it out, cut it out.

Miss Harrison waits downstairs, dear.
- Alright, darling.

Helen. Dear.

I can't bear it. I can't.

This was my one chance
and now it's gone.

Helen.

I don't care.

I am not Joan. I'm not a lady.

I am just a jitterbug.

Trying to kid myself that I'm happy.

That everything is going to be alright.

I wanted Bill to think that ..

That I was pretty enough.

And cute enough, so that I
would have a chance too.

I did have one night though.

That night Bill took us to dinner.

And that got spoiled.

And then we went to the theater.

And a lovely place afterwards.

It was like looking at
yourself in a dream.

And that was spoiled.

All because some big dumbell like
Tom Grogan thinks he owns me.

And I guess he does.

I guess he does.

Frank.

We're late and I'm not even dressed yet.

You mustn't go to work today, Helen.

Oh yes I must, Ma.

I am late but ..

But I will give the floor
manager a song and dance.

Come in to breakfast, Henry.

If I had some money ..

I would hire a lot of guys
to kick me around the block.

Joan.

Yes.

Joan, what happened? Did you see him?

No.

Joan. I have been thinking.

I talked him into it.

Maybe I can talk him out of it.

Maybe I could ..

I don't know how or why ..

He should have taken
any of us seriously.

But among us we have
destroyed the reputation of ..

Six generations of Harrisons.

Love is wonderful I guess.

But it can't survive seven
people for one bathtub.

Philip.

Philip. What is it?

Pa, what is wrong?
- Let him alone, Joan.

What is it?

We got in late this morning
and Hankey was waiting.

I didn't like the way he started
balling Pa out so I let him have it.

He fired me.

Then Pa chipped in and
Hankey lost his temper.

Pa explained about you and Bill so ..

Hankey told Pa to retire
on his son-in-law.

When he said that, Pa went for
him and nearly murdered him.

We are both canned.

But you can't blame me for this.

Or can you?

Mr Hankey didn't mean it, Pa.

I've been with him since 1897.

Even the morning of the
big blizzard, I was there.

Just Hankey and me. That was all.

He will send for you tomorrow.

He said I was getting too old.

If I am old, what about him?

Well, if he doesn't take you back ..

There are lots of other places that
will be glad to have you, Philip.

I will be 61 years old next month.

And I've got no job.

I am not an old man.

Sixty-one.

That is not an old man.

It is alright.

It is alright, Pa.

It's alright.

Where are you going?

I am going to see Mr Hankey.

Here is Bill.

Hello, darling.
- Welcome home, Bill.

Now, that is what I call a salute.

Come on. Sally is waiting for us.

Sally?

Don't pretend, darling.
I have been with her all day.

Well, don't pay any attention
to anything Sally says.

You are never going in there again.

What's wrong?

Bill, don't you know Sally is going
to have you declared incompetent?

Well, I have been for years.

But not anymore.

I never earned a dollar of that
original money and neither did she.

Come on.
- I won't let you do this.

Joan, I adore you.

But I can't let you tell me what
you will or won't let me do.

Bill, it isn't because of your money.

I don't want it. Not a cent of it.

I love you and ..

I can't have you go through a
horrible scandal because of me.

Oh, darling. Please, please.

If you don't understand
perhaps the others will.

Hello. Where are the folks?
- Listen, Bill.

You're wrong to go to extremes.

Extremes?

Do you know what I'm doing?
- Yeah. Giving all that good dough away.

I thought you would be proud of me.

A non-profit hospital for
the small salaried man.

Hello.
- Hello.

The finest equipment in the world.

And the cost in proportion
to the salary.

Isn't that what you want?
- Yeah.

But it can't be done.
It's not practical.

Is that so?

Then I shouldn't waste time telling you
the really important part of my plan.

You're crazy, Bill.
One man can't do everything.

Besides.

Nobody would thank you for it.
They'll just laugh at you.

Is that so?

Do you all feel the same way about it?

Sure. You oughtn't throw away your
dough on a lot of cockeyed schemes.

Gee, Bill. You've got something
when you have got money.

If you haven't you are a blank. A zero.

Well, I suppose you are right.

Coming with me, Joan?

Where, Bill?

First, we must convince most of
the mass people trying to stop us.

And after that.

We might be able to do something in this
real world that truly benefits humanity.

I still think humanity
is a wonderful thing.

Even though the people
are disappointing.

Are you sure you want to stick by
me while I fight this thing through?

Yes, Bill.

I will go anywhere and
do anything that you say.

This home is always yours, Bill.

We'll be glad to have you stay with us.

Thank you, Ma.

But I don't think I would
be able to sleep here now.

I might hear the echoes of
things that were once said.

Fine words.

Noble words.

Might come back with a hollow mockery.

Come, dear.

Say.

Was that hollow mockery
stuff a crack at me?

I can't get used to the idea
of not going downtown.

It seems like a Sunday.

I'm going. Goodbye, Ma. Goodbye, Pa.
- Goodbye, dear.

[ Buzzer ]

Sally.

Good morning. Are you all here?

Why, yes. They're in having breakfast.

Hello, everybody.
- Hello, Sally.

Hello.

I hate to disturb you but as you're also
involved in this plan of my brother's ..

I do ask you to come along with me.

Come along?
- Where?

Several details have to be attended to
immediately. I ask you to hurry please.

But I have to go to work.

I'm afraid this must come first.

We will go with you
Miss Harrison. Right away.

Thank you.

A nice road.

How far up the river does it go?

About as far as Sing Sing.

Will you follow me. Please.

Let's hope we are not too late.

Welcome, Thayers.

Ha-ha. Nice work, Sally.

So we tricked you out
of your den, did we?

Tricked us?

So, you're not giving your money away?
- I certainly am not.

I wanted to show you your new home.

Before you open your trap, Henry.

Let me tell you you're not
getting this for nothing.

You pay for it with the profits from the
hardware company you and I are starting.

Then you're not putting up a hospital?
- I certainly am.

A half mile back there 4 other gentlemen
and myself are building a hospital.

For the exclusive benefit
of the great middle class.

That was a swell idea of yours, Henry.

Did you know we can take out your
appendix for 23 dollars and 85 cents?

And at that, the 85 cents is a profit.

Welcome home, everybody.

Oh, Ma.

Let's sit down.

Bill, I don't know what to say.
- No-one has to say anything.

Except ..

I will.

Frank, will you let me invest in you
to the extent of an aviation course?

Helen. Will you let Sally take you over?

And Henry, for Pete's sake will you
get on a boat and go to Brazil.

Everybody say it together please.

I will.

I will.

Bill.

Did you and Joan get married last night?

Oh, my.

I knew I forgot something.

No, Pa. But we will this afternoon.
Sally can you lend you her dress.

I'll get married in my
own dress thanks, Bill.

Your own ..?

Alright.

If you aren't the toughest family
to kick upstairs I ever saw in my life.

Bill Harrison, you're right.

I'll get married in a pair of overalls,
standing on my head or any way you like.

I am cured. We are all cured.
- Great.

Ma, I forgot to tell you.
You, of all people.

Look.

You liked the Hilda
so well, she is yours.

Oh, Bill.

Now, now. Not a word.

The look in your eye is something
no-one could ever deserve.

Bill. I have been thinking.

I'm not so sure about Brazil, see.

Do you think they could
make it the Argentine?

..w-g..