Revenge of Billy the Kid (1991) - full transcript

Ladies and gentlemen...

...this picture, truly one of the most
unusual ever filmed...

...contains scenes
which under no circumstances

...should be viewed by
anyone with a heart condition

...or anyone that is easily upset.

We urgently recommend that
if you are such a person

...or the parent of a
young or impressionable child

...that is in the audience

...that you and the child

...leave the auditorium.

You fat swine!



There you go.

See you at breakfast.

I thought that you were
going to wash my underpants.

That's what I did.

You didn't do a very proud job of it.

And you didn't do a proud job
wiping your arse.

What are you staring at?

There's no need to do that.

Put your milk in here.

Come here.

Is that it, Gyles?

There's more milk in Ronald's tits.

I've told you before it's Ronnie.

Ronald's not good enough for you, eh?



Too high and bloody mighty, that's what she is.

Mind your own bloody business,
Ronald MacDonald.

- It is my business.
- You never do any hard grafting.

And who goes to the mainland every week then?

I could do that.

Don't be daft.
You get seasick standing in a puddle.

Hey, Pa...

I been noticing one or two snares near the bay.

I reckon them poachers
from the mainland are back.

If I see them on my island again,
I'll give them so much shot up their ass

...they won't know which hole to shit out of.

Shit out of—

Don't be so hard on them.
They're the only visitors we get.

We don't want visitors on our island.

Upset grandad they do.

Anyways,
those locals are good for nobody, not since—

Gretta...

...get me another bottle.

I'm not your slave.
What do you think the children are for?

You heard what your mother said.
Go on, you lazy.

So long, granddad. Silly old git.

Ma, I know you and Pa say I shouldn't be mixing with the mainlanders

...but there's one of them
who makes me feel all queer like.

Queer in a way I don't get.

Except when I bath with Ronald and Ronald.

Now you listen here my girl.

I don't want you messing around with them locals.

But Ma, this one's different.

He's quiet, polite...

He's a gentleman. And I know he likes me.

You wash your mouth out you nasty. If you can't control your lust

we'll send Ronald instead.

- But, mom...
- Jezabel.

Nice bite. Very cheeky.

Just a bit bland.

I found these around the house, Pa.

I could have sworn that we drank more than that.

These are Ma's.

Try this.

It's not as strong as last time.

Let's hope that dinner is better.

Hey...

You didn't let young Ronald loose with the shotgun again?

He took it.

You know how clumsy—

Me toe!

Right bloody fool.

What you doing down there?

My foot. I shot me foot.

Stand up you blubbering sissy.

Get up.

No son of mine complains
because he's missing a toe.

You'll want a ruddy bandage on it next.

Where is it, then?

There.

Not your foot.

Dinner.

But, I, I, I...

You blow your foot off, and you didn't get any dinner?

You selfish bastard.

Pa...

Ma...

Ma...

I've blown my foot off, Ma.

- How many rabbits did you get?
- None.

I told you I blew my foot off.

Don't come running to me with a lame excuse.
Get it together.

But Ma, it's bad this time.

I'll take a look
when I'm done with taters.

- Ronald.
- Not again.

- Oh, please...
- I'll be late.

- I'll let you have my toilet roll.
- All of it?

Alright then.

Not too tight, Ronnie.

There now. I gotta go.

Remember, no talking to strange men,
except your father.

GEHENNA ISLAND
TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT

Keep still you bloody idiot.

Have you seen Lance here today?

- Mornin', Mr. Allott.
- Morning, Mr. Slipper.

Mornin'.

- What can I do for you, sir?
- I'll have a sliced loaf...

...a jar of maggots,
and a galvanized bucket, please.

I do the maggors, and the galvanized bucket...

but I'm afraid we don't have much
call for these sliced loaves in these parts.

I don't know what this village would
do without you and your store, Mr. Allott.

Very nice of you to say so.

I'll have a packet of them "Midnight Stallions"

- ¿Small, medium?
- Large, large...

- With feathers?
- Aye.

Lance!

Ronnie! I'm sorry, father.

I waited ages for you at the harbor
Where were you?

Sorry for being late.
Ronald had an accident.

At least you're alright.
I't's nice to see you.

Nice to see you, as well.

How come you're all called Ronald on that farm?

Ma likes the name Ronald.

What's this?

- Is it yours?
- That she is.

It's...It's so big.

So they tell me.

I best hurry. I gotta get on.

They hate us MacDonalds, but
they don't think twice about taking our food.

Don't you sweat about folks around here.

They can't bring themselves to forget.
They don't want to forget.

Let bygones be bygones, that's what I say.

You outta go to the city with words like those.

I want to go, but I gotta
help father with the store.

Thanks.

- How are things on the island?
- Oh, the usual.

Here's your milk.

Is that it? She's getting drier by the squeeze.

What that goat needs
is a seeing to.

We got plenty cows, we
don't need bloody goat's milk.

It fetches a grand price
from the mainland.

Tomorrow you'll go find
a stallion in town...

...to give the beast a right going over.

Them mainlanders never gave a fuck for us...

- why should they now?
- Don't you argue with me, Gyles MacDonald!

You get your lazy fat ass over to the mainland...

...else I split your skull with this here mallet.

This was your grandpa's life.

He were...

...a good man.

- One of the best.
- One of the best.

Hard, but fair.

He were a humble man.

Never made a will

So we're—

help yourselves.

- Don't touch that.
- Oh, Ma...

Stay away, the teeth are mine.

Lovely fit.

Got yourself a drinking problem there, Gyles.

Yeah, I can't get it down quick enough!

I don't want you drinking that all night.

You got an early start for the mainland tomorrow.

Folks are trying to sleep in here!

We're gonna be a long time getting to the bloody market
the way we're going now.

Go on, you like it.

Come on.

What's so bleeding special about your milk then?

Milk. I don't know
what Gretta's going on about.

It's not as good as this, I tell you.

I drink it all day...

Here, you have a drop now.

Fucking mainland, fucking woman...

Fucking goats!

My my, you're a pretty one...

How was it for you then?

Get in there.

Hey, Ronald!

Bloody hammer.

I'm gonna get Ronald to swap
some eggs for a better one

next time she's on mainland.

One day, when we're rich and famous...

...I'm going to buy me a whole new toolbox.

How rich will you be, then?

If I work hard, I'm going to have...

...a million, maybe
a billion pounds.

You won't know what to
do with that sort of money.

I wouldn't be so sure. First off I'd visit me
a foot doctor.

If I work hard...

...I'd have a trillion,
a zillion pounds...

...and I'll travel to
the far flung corners of the world.

- Where? To Oldham?
- Na, been there.

Did they give her a good, shafting Pa?

Best she ever had!

Oh, buddy.

Best she ever had.

Come on, dear, you
have to go back home.

Go there, see you tomorrow.

Fuck it.

The goat, she's giving birth!

What old goat did that?

No!

- Out of my way.
- Don't kill it.

- It's cute.
- It's a freak!

- Freaks don't belong.
- I wanted a pet.

I'll buy you a goldfish. Get out of my way.

No!

I won't let you kill him.

Come here, Billy.

I'll take care of you.

How could it happen?

It's fine.

Keep still.
Everything is okay.

Come on, don't cry.

Come on, be a good boy.

It's okay now, don't worry.

Everything's gonna be okay now.

Good boy.

There now.

You're tired.

I'm tired.

Who's a good boy then?

Fetch!

Fetch!

Go on, boy, fetch!

Let's go, Billy.

Come on, Billy.

Good boy.

There you go.

You are a good boy, aren't you?

Come on, boy.

Come on.

Billy!

Billy!

Billy!

Billy!

Cheer up, Ronald.

You were far too good for him, anyway.

What do you care? He's out there, hungry...

...without anywhere to stay.

Ma!

Oh, that hurts.

Alright, very nice.

Very good.

Good body,
very mellow.

- Good body.
- Ah, shutup.

I didn't say anything.

- Coming along nicely then.
- Lovely.

What's going on?

You're in here, somewhere...

...whatever you are.

Out of my way, beast.

Use the pot this time.

Hello, Rover.

Good boy.

Hello!

Is anybody there?

Billy!

Billy, you're hungry.

There you go, Billy.

Ah lovely.
Never tasted better.

Best thing to come
from this animal.

- I had a thought.
- I had one, once.

I reckon we could get ourselves
a fine price for that thing.

An animal like that...

- them circus folks.
- IHe's not an animal.

He's a—

He's a freak, a mutant!

Thievin' bastard!

If he can't keep his hooves to
himself, I'll cut them off.

My bottles.

You, festering lump of mutated shit!

No!

I've got him, little bastard.

You've breathed your last.

No!

Bitch!

I'm going to get you, freak.

Come out, come out
wherever you are.

Come here, fucker.

Buzz off son, and don't come back.

Look what I got for you.

Billy!

Where is he?

- Who?
- You know who.

- What'd you do with him?
- Ain't he in the attic?

No!

Then the foxes must of
came back.

You'll pay for this.

They're restless today.

All morning been like this.

Hens, and all...

There's something
in the air.

I hope nothing
bad happens.

Come on, Ronald.

Put a bit of effort into it, brother.

Try your best, Ronald.

Come on, Ronald.

Let's go, don't bother your brother.

What's your problem?

- Don't let her win.
- You're not gonna beat me, stupid.

I think it broke.

- She's done it again.
- It was easy.

- Pa!
- What?

What now?

What?

- Our chickens.
- Foxes.

That was my last piece.

Hi.

Hi.

Ronnie, not again, stop it.

Stop, Ronnie.

Stop?

Let's see how you like this.

That was quick.

Thanks.

I better be getting back to work.

You were the best.

What's this?

- It's yours.
- What?

It's yours, keep it.

Thanks.

- Knife.
- Knife.

- Pellets.
- Pellets.

How much more poison
to kill that fox, Pa?

I don't think it was one fox.

From what I saw last night...

...it's probably a whole pack.

Ronald.

Ronald.

Ronald.

Pa.

I found this and two others
like this, up by the old workshop.

I ain't seen no fox that can do that.

I reckon one of the poachers
must have lost his dog.

What will we do now, Pa?

Well.

I reckon...

...it would be a shame
to waste it.

That dog is here,
somewhere.

Killing my sheep.

I want you to find it.

And when you find it,
I want you to tear it apart!

Find him!

Go on, find him!

What's that, boy?

Do you smell it? Do you smell
that dog? Kill!

It's in there somewhere, go get him!
Kill! Kill!

You stupid mutt!

There's something over there.

Go on.

I can't believe it.

It couldn't have been.

It deserved it.

Poor thing.

Come on, fill this thing up.

- Where's Lance?
- Where he should be.

Where he should be, minding the store
without distractions.

Distractions? What kind
of distractions?

Distractions that are no good to nobody.
He has a nice steady job...

...and he doesn't want to lose it.
He doesn't want to ever see you again.

I don't believe it.

Well, come on. Time means money.

Lance wouldn't say a thing like that.

Well, he did.

And that's the end of the matter.

- He wouldn't.
- He did.

I really like a bit of toad...

...rising nicely.

Haviny our period, are you?

No.

Then pull down your trousers.

I love it when you're romantic!

Show us your pole, big boy.

A little bit of lardy lubrication there Gyles.

Poke me, stupid!

You're a big boy,
Gyles MacDonald.

Let's go, boy.

You're ruining it, you're ruining it.

Shoot your shot, tiger.

She be a beauty, Will.

I told you they run rife over here.

How many snares do
you usually set?

As many as I can handle.

Best not be too long,
what with them MacDonald...

Don't you got fretting, Tom.
We'll be back tucked in our beds before dawn.

What is that?

Get down.

That must be old MacDonald.

I don't know. I'm not so sure.

Best be on our way sharpish,
they know we're here.

Would they be sending a girl to sort us out?

- She's alright though, huh?
- That she were.

- Lance.
- Ronnie.

- Lance! Your cocoa is getting cold.
- Right, Pa.

Your Pa said that
you didn't want to see me anymore.

How could he say that?

You believed him, didn't you?

Ronnie.

Ronnie.

You know I love you.

Come on.

- Let's leave.
- Leave?

Leave this village. Let's go
far away from here.

Some place where no one bothers us.

We could go to Dunwich.
I've got money saved.

We'll take the midnight express.

- I, don't...
- Let's go on Friday, Friday the 13th.

Ronnie MacDonald...

...I'd be pleased, if you do me the honor
of being my wife.

Marry you?

Lance Allot, I'd be happy
to be your wife.

I'll make you happy.

I promise.

We'll have ourselves our very own store.

I'll have chickens and
we'll sell their eggs

And we'll grow vegetables in our garden.

And we'll sell pencils.
I always wanted to sell pencils.

Green pencils, HB ones, and
the ones with funny little things on the end.

Oh Lance, we'll be so happy together.

It's empty, Tom. Chuck it away.

Someone's coming.

It's her, again.

I wouldn't mind snaring that.

- No!
- Go on, Tom.

- Let me go.
- Don't move.

Hold her down good.

You're gonna love this.

Come on, Tom, give it to her.

Come on, it's all yours.

- No.
- Hold still.

Tom, you alright?

Tom.

- My head.
- Bitch!

Shit!

Will?

Did you get her, Will?

Is that you?

Will!

Tom?

Will, help!

Will!

Will!

I think I killed someone.

What?

Two men from the
island attacked me.

- What?
- Poachers?

- I killed one.
- What about the other?

He's out there.

Not anymore he ain't.

Ma!

Let them go back to the mainland.

They'll learn not to mess
with the MacDonalds.

You did the right thing, Ronald.

But, but I killed one.
What will we do?

If he's dead, there's
nothing we can do.

Not until first light.

I don't see signs
of any poacher...

- I think Ronald...
- Pa!

Over here.

Come on!

Jesus.

I never knew our Ronald had it in her.

That were never our Ronald.

- What was it then, Pa??
- Don't rightly know.

Whatever it is, it's
killing our livestock.

A wolf?

Perhaps.

You get back, and keep an eye on the animals.

Where are you going, Pa?

Hunting.

It's occupied.

Get off, let go of me, swine...

Let go of me!

Let go of me!

What's going on?

What?

Ma!

- What's happened?
- Who did it?

Ma.

- Who was it?
- No...

It came...

...from hell.

Ma, Ma...

Oh, no, Ma.

Please, don't die, please...

No, stay here.

- I'm coming with you.
- No, lock the windows.

Lock the doors.

- Please.
- No.

Ronald.

This is for Ma.

Let's do it.

I'm sorry,
Jones. Come back.

Ronald.

Pa?

What the devil...?

Help!

Oh, god!

Oh, god.

Help me!

Help, please.

I've got you now.

Oh, Jesus.

Didn't mean it. Honestly.

Shit.

Help.

Ronald?

Fucking leg.

What is it?

I don't understand you.

There...

Ronnie.

Help...

Thanks for everything.

May the good Lord go with ya.

- Hello, Father.
- Bless you young Lance.

Begorah, I'm sure those pants are possessed.

Hello?

Hello down there.

My son, what ails you?

Jesus!

- No! No!
- Ronald!

- You scared the shit out of me.
- What's going on here?

- How did you get in?
- Through the window.

Ronnie, come here. Your mother
is lying there.

She's, she's...Ronnie!

I said what's going on? You're running around
like a headless chicken.

And your mother, she's dead,
laid out like a Christmas roast.

Have you cut yourself?

No.

- What the hell's going on?
- There's something out there.

A creature.

There is I tell you, it's true!

Yes.

Maybe you're right.

I found its lair.

Let's wait until daylight,
and Ronald and Ronald...

They're dead.

- Dead?
- It killed them.

It's okay, we'll be alright.

It's just you and me, Pa.

And something in the night.

Nothing's gonna get through that.

Lay him down here, quick.

Careful, careful now.

- Begorah...
- Christ, it's Tom.

And he's horribly mutilated.

What could tear him apart like that?

What happened, Tom?

- A beast.
- A beast?

- What beast?
- A beast, oh my god...

What's he on about?
What beast? Where?

What is it Tom lad? What are you saying?

It killed Will.

- God, no. Will, no.
- Merciful God.

Will? Who the fuck is Will?

Where is the beast?

Tom, tell us where it is.

- On the island.
- On the island.

- On the island?
- On the island?

- Lay easy, Tom.
- Get your boats.

- We must hurry.
- Not so fast, young Lance.

- We must think this over.
- There's no time to think.

The MacDonalds won't lift a finger to help us.

- But, we should—
- What about Dr. Morrison?

- That was an accident.
- That's what they said.

Old MacDonald has a heart attack...

- ...Dr. Morrison goes over—...
- And they shot him for trespasser, swine.

They thought he was a poacher.

How many poachers
carry stethoscopes around their neck?

Listen to the old fart,
he speaks the truth.

Aye.

Why should we risk life and limb
for the likes of them.

- He's right.
- Why should we?

I wish old MacDonald would shoot
that beast for trespassing.

No, we gotta help him. Help Ronnie.

Just because
your young fancy's on that island

no need for us to end up like poor Tom.

He's got a point.

- Can you see anything?
- Not in this mist.

- What does it want?
- Us.

- Where does it come from?
- Wherever it is...

...it aims to take us back.

- It's cold.
- Stoke up the fire.

It's gonna be...

...a long night.

I'll miss you, Ma.

I'll really miss you.

Whoever did this...

Are you frightened, Jones?

Don't worry, lovely.

Don't you worry.

You scared me!

Get yourself in there.
We gotta keep that fire going.

Alright, Pa.

You were...

You were a good woman...

...and I...

...I...

Fuck.

It'll be alright, Ronnie.

Will no one save us?

DISTRESS FLARES

Pa...

Will we get out of this alive?

Take over.

What the fuck's that?

Lance gave it to me.
Plays music.

Lance? Who the bloody hell is Lance?

- I told you...
- A boy...

A boy I met on the mainland.

A boy from the mainland?

Have you got no shame?

He's nice.

I like him.

I love him.

Love?

You'll give this family a bad name.

- How can it get worse?
- I'll not have that talk in this house.

And you'll not see this mainlander no more.

Does it look like I'll have the chance?
Does it?

Billy.

Ronnie?

Is that you, Ronnie?

What the fuck?

Son of a bitch!

Come to daddy.

Shit.

No!

Billy?

It's me, Ronnie.

Lance!

I ain't come for trouble,
just my girl.

Shit.

Run!

Pa!

- He's dead!
- We can't leave him.

There's nothing you can do. Come on.

Hit it!

Lance?

Lance.

Lance!

Lance!

It's alright.

It's me, Ronnie.

Me leg.

I think I bust me leg.

- I can't make it\.N- You can!

You go.

Take my boat.
Save yourself.

Move!

We're almost there.

I'm sorry.

You can't give up now. Come on!

I just need to rest, five minutes.

Alright.

We'll go to the old workshop.

It hasn't been used in years.

If it's still there.

It's alright. We'll be safe in here.

Christ...

It's out there...

It's hungry, and it's coming this way.

I feel so helpless.

You were great back there.

I didn't get you off the island though.

You'll always be my knife in shining armor.

Don't worry.
It'll be alright.

I've got an idea.

We've gotta distract it.

Now!

Pull it!

Go!

Ronnie!

Yes!

Fetch!

Good boy, fetch!

It's okay.

- Ronnie.
- We're safe.

We're safe now.

Everything's gonna be alright