Revamped (2007) - full transcript

RICHARD NARRATING: What a town.

If they only knew was out there.

I mean, what's really out there.

I was there and I
still don't believe it.

Guess I should start at
the beginning... the night

of my first wedding anniversary.

-Happy anniversary, darling.

$12,326.18 for what?

Continental Hotel?

OPERATOR (ON PHONE):
Continental Hotel.

How may I direct your call?



-Reservations, please.

OPERATOR (ON PHONE):
I'll transfer you.

-Thank you.

Continental Hotel,
may I help you?

-Yes, this is Richard Clarke.

MALE SPEAKER (ON
PHONE): Yes, Mr. Clarke.

How may I help you?

- I got my credit card
bill today and there's

some charges to your hotel.

MALE SPEAKER (ON
PHONE): All right,

and which night are
you referring to?

-What do you mean, which night?

MALE SPEAKER (ON
PHONE): Well, you've

been staying here
quite a bit lately.



In fact, Mrs. Clarke just
made another reservation

for tomorrow night.

-Janet Clarke?

MALE SPEAKER (ON
PHONE): Yes, sir.

-This is her husband, Richard.

MALE SPEAKER (ON PHONE): Is
there a problem, Mr. Clarke?

-No.

No.

Listen, don't tell Mrs.
Clarke that we talked.

I'd hate to ruin her surprise.

MALE SPEAKER (ON PHONE):
Of course, Mr. Clarke.

And by the way, thank you again
for that very generous tip

last week.

-You're welcome.

MALE SPEAKER (ON PHONE):
And happy anniversary.

RICHARD NARRATING: My
marriage was a lie.

I was humiliated.

How could I go on?

So I got drunk.

Tried to kill myself.

That didn't work.

-Damn.

RICHARD NARRATING: Then I saw
this infomercial on television.

-Life got you down?

Are you tired of your
current existence?

Are you at the end of your rope?

Then become one of
the undead, where

immortality is waiting for you.

It only takes a minute, just
a little nip on the neck

and you're through.

Join our legions and you'll
meet new and interesting people.

And the nightlife is killer.

Because of Kiss of
Death, Inc., you're

only a bite away
from immortality.

So pick up the phone
and call 1-888-Bite Me

That's 1-888-BiteMe.

Our operators are standing by.

Call now.

- Yes, I'd like to
join your legions.

RICHARD NARRATING: So I called
Kiss of Death, Incorporated.

They said a service
representative

would appear
tomorrow at midnight.

This was the answer
I was looking for.

Cut that cheating
bitch out of my will.

Come back undead,
get my revenge.

-You're going to pay, Janet.

You're both going to pay.

-Hi.

-Payback's a bitch.

JANET (OFFSCREEN): Would
you help me with my choker?

-Sure.

You come back later.

I've got a little
surprise for you.

-What is it?

-You'll see.

-I should be home by 1-ish.

-Perfect.

-What was that for?

- I just wanted you to
know how much I love you.

-Well, I love you, too.

Duh.

-Goodbye, Janet.

-I'll see you later, honey.

RICHARD NARRATING: Since I
was going to become undead,

I figured I could pick
up a few pointers.

-Forget it.

RICHARD NARRATING:
So I started to have

some very serious
second thoughts

about this whole thing.

-No!

It's not very nice, is it?

-Sorry.

Sorry.

- Aren't you going
to invite me in?

-Yeah.

Yeah, come on in.

RICHARD NARRATING:
Her name was Lillith.

-Nice place.

RICHARD NARRATING: Maybe
it wasn't such a bad idea,

after all.

- I've got to tell
you, you're not at all

like what I expected.

-What were you expecting?

Some 6'2 guy with long
hair and a goatee.

-Kind of, yeah.

-Oh, god.

-You're very beautiful.

-I think you're very handsome.

And I'm real sorry to
hear about your wife.

-How do you know about my wife?

-Well, word is she gets around.

-Look, Richard.

You're really much
better off without her.

You're much too good of a guy
to be with someone like that.

LILLITH NARRATING:
Any woman would

be lucky to have
someone like you.

- So, should we get
down to business.

-Oh yeah.

Listen, um when I become
undead, will I see you again?

-Yes, if you want to.

- I want to spend the rest
of my life... well, you know.

-Forever and ever.

-Forever and ever.

OK, let's do it.

Be careful, I'm a bleeder.

- I hope that it was as good
for you as it was for me.

RICHARD NARRATING: Everything
was going according to plan.

Janet's about to get
what she deserves.

Here's the part
where she finds out

I wrote her out of the will.

- But he... he can't
do this to me.

-Wow, look at the time.

I've got to run, Janet, or I'll
be late for that board meeting.

I'll call you later.

-Jonathan!

Don't leave me like this!

How could you do
this to me, you prick?

- I'm sorry, Mrs. Clarke, but
we have to move Mr. Clarke back

to the mortuary for
his final preparation.

- Mr. Vincent, there's
been a sudden change

in the will of Richard's estate.

There won't be enough money to
cover the burial arrangements,

as we had originally planned.

-Oh.

Well, I'll tell
you what I'll do.

We have a special this
week on cremations.

I'll put your original
deposits towards that,

and we'll call it even.

- I'm sure Richard would
have wanted it that way.

- I didn't realize that by
cutting her out of the will,

I'd be shooting
myself in the foot.

My dreams of immortality
were about to go

right out the do window.

-OK, Jimmy.

Better fire up the over.

Looks like we've got
another live one.

-Look out!

Careful!

They ought to
revoke your license.

You're a menace with that thing.

- I'm not used to
driving a stick.

Are they here yet?

-No, they're late.

I don't know about
this thing, Jimmy.

-We go over this every time.

We would be doing
great business if it

wasn't for that big earthquake
last year that hurt my legs.

- Yeah, and funerals
with National

snatching up all the stiffs.

Nobody wants to do business with
us, the little guy, anymore.

- Look, this is the only way
we can stay above ground.

Here they come!

- Greetings on behalf of exalted
and most unholy master, Satan.

-Howdy.

-Let's get this over with.

-This the best you could do?

- It's getting harder to find
guys to your specifications.

- What do you do
with them, anyway?

-We're in a cult.

What do you think?

-Please!

-It's nothing personal.

-You know what?

These guys aren't
going anywhere.

If we leave and come
back, we can still

catch the last half of the game.

-Good.

- Been a pleasure doing
business with you gentlemen.

-Oh my god!

Shit!

Bingo.

-Oh hey, doc.

If you're doing a
brain operation,

why don't you
start with my wife?

-Hi, Jonathan.

-How do you know my name?

Do I owe you money?

I know you, don't I?

-You should.

You screwed my wife and then
drank champagne at my funeral.

-Richard.

But you're dead.

-Do I look dead to you?

Where's Janet?

- Janet, she left me
for some internet geek

from the Silicone Valley.

She dumped me.

-I'm sorry.

Must have been hard for you.

-Don't kill me.

Oh, don't kill me.

Whatever you want.

-How about breakfast.

MALE SPEAKER (ON
TV): Are you being

buried by the high cost
of funeral arrangements?

Then come to Coffin
Stuffers where

we discount death for you.

We have a wide variety
of funeral packages,

from our no-frills funeral where
you get a shovel and a shove,

to our deluxe cadaver package,
which includes coffin, flowers,

and designer burial suit
with two pair of pants.

So don't get stiffed
over the high cost

of funeral arrangements,
because at Coffin Stuffers,

we're the last ones
to let you down.

Coffin Stuffers... we bury
that cost along with the loss.

-What is this world coming to?

-Tell me.

-Richard.

How...

-Kiss of Death, Incorporated.

-I went to your funeral.

Janet had you cremated.

- Apparently she never
bothered to pick up my ashes.

I got reanimated at the morgue
next to three dead bodies.

- Guess that would
explain the blood.

- Actually, this is
from something else.

I need to find the vampire
that originally bit me.

-Oh, Richard.

I mean, so much has happened
in the last five years.

-Five years.

-You better sit down.

Try to keep the blood
off the leather.

Because of Kiss of Death,
the vampire epidemic

went out of control.

So the government
formed a special unit

of vampire hunters... Stake
Force... to exterminate

anything that went
bump in the night.

-So what happened?

-There was a war.

They all got wiped out.

-Did any of them survive?

- As far as the public
is concerned, no.

But there's still
reports here and there.

-This isn't what I wanted.

-Richard, we all make mistakes.

We just have to go on
and live our lives.

-That's easy for you to say.

-Listen.

There's an underground
club in Hollywood.

You talk to a guy named Boris.

He's a good friend of mine.

Very heavy into the occult.

I think he can help you.

-Thanks, Dan.

I knew I could count on you.

-Hey, what are friends for?

-I'll be in touch.

-Good luck, Richard.

And Richard... you might
want to change that shirt.

-Where'd you come from?

-I'm with them.

-I don't think so.

-I'm on the list.

-There is no list.

-Uh, I'm a friend of Boris?

- Why didn't you say
so in the first place?

-Hey.

What can I get you?

-I'm looking for Boris.

-He should be here by now.

-Can I help you with something?

-I'm good.

-Let me know.

-Hey man, what's up?

-What's it to you?

- Haven't seen you
in here before.

-You're hitting on me?

-No.

Man, I can hook you up.

X, GHB, anything you need.

I aim to please.

-I'm not interested in that.

I'm looking for a girl.

-Dark hair, penetrating eyes.

-Take your pick.

-She was dancing over there.

-That's

-You know her?

-Well yeah, everybody knows her.

But very few people really know
her, if you know what I mean.

-I'd like to talk to her.

-I'll tell you what.

There's a private
party downstairs,

and I know for sure
she's going to be there.

I can get you in.

It's to die for.

-Let's go.

-Come on.

So, you're gonna love this.

It's just down here, man.

It's OK.

He's with me.

-Twins.

-What the hell is this?

-People, places, roll film.

-It's video.

-Whatever.

Action!

-Oh, I get it.

-The need to feed!

-Wow, looks real.

-Just watch.

- What the hell is
wrong with you people?!

-This is a snuff film.

-You idiot.

He's a vampire.

-Where's the writer?

-Ah, shit!

-You're really good.

It's a fucking
bloodbath in there.

-They said I'd be a star.

-Better check your contract.

This town will kill you.

Sorry.

-Hey, he's up here.

He went out the back door.

-There he is.

Get him!

-The sun's coming up.

Get in if you want to live.

-Do I have a choice?

-You're dead!

You hear me?

-I guess I should thank you.

-I'm Mary.

-Richard.

-Look, we're in a safe place.

But for security reasons, I'm
going to have to blindfold you.

- I'm usually not into
that sort of thing.

-Just trust me.

-I guess I'll have to.

-Where are we?

- Welcome to Hell House, formerly
Hellman Correctional Facility.

Now it's our home.

-Cozy.

-Mommy, mommy!

Hi, Mister.

I'm Lindsey.

What's yours?

-I'm Richard.

What are you all doing here?

-Tell him.

We are like you.

Vampires.

-We're not vampires.

-Technically, we are.

Part human, part vampire.

Half-breeds.

- That's why they
call me half pint.

- About time you
got here, Reeger.

-Yeah.

Where are the rest of my bodies?

- They're already
in the meat wagon.

- Who is this new
partner of mine?

-Are you OK, Steve?

-I'm fine, thank you.

-He looks a little green to me.

-Anybody want a bite?

- Hey kid, if you want
to work homicide,

you've got to get used
to this side of life.

-This was in the camera.

Man, talk about a reality show.

Shit, what are these
guys doing here?

-Who are they?

- VSI, Vampire Scene
Investigation.

Hey guys, thanks a lot,
but we got this covered.

Hey, I'm talking to you guys.

-Hey, Reeger.

They only take orders from me.

-Linda.

-Yes, sir?

-Send in Peters and Reeger.

-(SHOUTS) Peters!

Reeger!

Captain wants to see
you in his office, now!

-You wanted to see us, Cap?

-Yeah.

So how you guys doing?

-Fine, sir.

-Good.

-Well, I'm not.

I've got seven dead bodies.

-Uh, sir, it looks a hemo.

- That's sexual
profiling, Peters.

-Hemo as in hemoglobin, sir.

-A vampire.

-I don't give a damn what it is.

I want it taken out.

Now.

You understand?

-Yes, sir.

-So what do we got?

- We got some actual
footage from the crime.

-Jesus.

So what do you think?

- I didn't care much for the
story, but the acting was good.

- We don't need a
smart ass, Reeger.

We need results.

- The good news is we know
what our hemo looks like.

I'll get an APP
at him right away.

-Wrong, junior.

I'm in and you're out.

Whenever there's a blood sucker
involved, it becomes my case.

-Our guess was right.

This file is in the
stakes jurisdiction.

Anyway, Reeger, we got
enough nutcases out there

to keep you occupied.

-But sir, this...

-We're doing it, Reeger.

That's all.

-Amateurs.

-They're damn good cops.

Anyway, we're all
in this together.

-Of course we are, sir.

My people are already
on top of this.

We've just got a lead on
the vampire safe house

and we're about to hit it.

-Just do it quietly.

I don't want the public to
think there are vampires

still running loose
in these streets.

- If you don't get it right,
there will be hell to pay.

And I'll make sure your ass
is at the head of the line.

-Hardcastle.

Good.

Assemble in 10.

- So how did you guys
wind up in this place?

- Well, we had no
place left to hide.

We worked really hard to
build a community here.

-Well, you must be Richard.

Word travels faster around here.

I'm Celeste.

And this is my
little girl, Debbie.

We certainly you're
going to be staying.

Been a long time since we had
any fresh blood around here.

-Celeste.

-Oh.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to be inappropriate.

-Mommy, can we go play, please?

-Yeah, sure.

Go ahead.

-Excuse me, Celeste.

We've got some important
messages to discuss.

-Oh, of course.

-Nice meeting you.

-I'll be seeing you, Richard.

-I'm sorry about that.

Celeste lost her husband
during the epidemic.

-What about Lindsey?

Is her father a half-breed, too?

-I don't know.

Oh, Lindsey's not
my biological child.

I've actually never
been with a man before.

I adopted Lindsey after
her parents were killed.

-Sorry.

- For years, we've been
caught up in the war

between a gang of bloodthirsty
creatures, the bleeders,

and the human assassins...
The Stick Force.

-Yeah.

I already heard about
the vampire hunters club.

-There's more.

-Can I ask you something?

-Sure, Ken.

-Why do you hate them?

-Who?

-Vampires.

-Who doesn't?

-I don't.

I had a friend once
who got bitten,

and it turned out to
be this thing where...

-Oh, please.

Don't tell me you're one
of those liberals who

think that vampires and
human beings can co-exist.

What else do I need
to know about you?

-I'm LDS.

- Are you seeing
someone for that?

-Latter Day Saints.

-Oh, what do you mean?

You don't smoke and you
don't drink and you never...

- No man shall lay
down with a woman

unless they are
bound by marriage.

- You don't think I know
what's going on here?

Hmm?

Sure, sure, I fell off the
wagon after I lost my partner.

And my wife left me after
that hooker incident.

- Which he was cleared
of, by the way.

Sorry.

- So now Internal Affairs sends
me some squeaky clean rookie

who's got up my ass
trying to keep me

on the straight and narrow.

- I don't know what
you're talking about.

-You don't, huh?

Well, here's a news
flash for you, kid.

I don't care why they put
you with me, understand?

What I do care about is when
I'm out there on the street

and the shit's
hitting the fan, I

want to make sure that
someone's watching my ass.

- You don't have
to worry about me.

-Are you sure?

-I'm sure.

-Are you fucking sure, huh?

-Please don't swear.

-Brethren!

The word has come from on high.

Tonight we vanquish our foes.

For the only good
human is a dead human.

Kill them all and let the
dark lord sort them out.

Tonight is ours.

Tonight we draw for straws.

- I cannot wait to dust
me some bloodsuckers.

-Fucking right.

-I love to watch them bleed.

-All right.

Listen up.

This is strictly a stake
and bake operation.

You know the drill.

Rule number one... no survivors.

Rule number two... no survivors.

And rule number three...

-Everyone comes home alive.

-That's right.

Do your final weapons check.

We roll in 10.

-Yes, sir!

- Daddy, I thought you were
coming to my birthday party.

-I'm sorry, sweetie.

Daddy has to work tonight.

Put your mother on, please.

-Is everything all right?

-Hold on one second, babe.

Sweetie, I've got
to get back to work.

-I love you.

-I love you, too.

-No, no.

No!

Baby!

-Daddy, we're hungry.

-No!

-But Daddy, it's my birthday!

-Let's roll.

- There are a number of
ways of becoming a vampire.

Bitten on the neck then
turned, or genetically.

-That's what happened to me.

- A few years ago,
evil terrorists

contaminated the plasma at
some of the major blood banks.

I working on a serum by the
government while I was exposed.

- They herded us into quarantine
camps for vaccination,

but we quickly discovered
it was for extermination.

-For being infected?

- Well, since they had
no cure, the government

felt it be cheaper to
just kill us than cure us.

-A few of us managed to escape.

- Like full vampires, we
can only come out at night.

But we're not immortal.

-Do you still drink blood?

-Yes, but not human blood.

- I developed a variety of
synthetic alternatives,

including this.

-What is it?

-A blood patch.

Similar to a nicotine
patch, except if weans

the user off blood.

-How long does that take?

-About 30 years.

With our extended
lifespan, it's not so long.

Well, I have to go back to work.

- So what were you
doing at Club Sinister?

-Looking for someone, something.

What about you?

-Looking for more lost souls.

-You hit the jackpot.

-I guess I did.

-So how did you find me?

- Well, when I saw you enter
the club, for some reason

you just looked
more lost than most.

-Thanks.

-So how did you become a...

- Vampire> Kiss of
Death, Incorporated.

-Why?

-I thought it was what I wanted.

Instead, I lost everything.

-So did we.

I mean, that's why
we're all here.

Helping each other survive.

- I guess we're all
in this together.

-Yeah, I guess so.

-Mary!

I think I found it!

-Get your bags!

Get out!

-Lindsey!

-Mary, wait!

Let's get out of here!

-Let's go!

-Hi!

This is a clown.

-Freeze!

-It's cool, man.

It's cool.

-Hey, Bozo.

I hate clowns.

-Hey, cutie.

-It's been awhile.

I almost got you in Barstow.

-I let you live that night.

No more free passes
for old time's sake.

- You used to be one of
the best on the team.

-This time you.

Just like old times.

-Not tonight, bitch.

-Don't play hard to get with me.

-It's been fun.

-Hey, asshole.

-Huh?

-You want some of this?

Come on. Come on.

-Time to die.

-You first.

-Not time.

-Richard.

-It's me!

We've got to get out of here!

-You think?

Let's go.

It's clear.

I'll catch up to you guys.

-Richard.

-My god, it's you.

-I thought you were dead.

-Yeah, so did I.

-Kill him.

-No.

-Why?

-Because he's mine.

-He's not one of us.

- I turned him, and according to
bleeder law, he belongs to me.

-Orders were no survivors.

-I decide his fate.

-For now.

Take him away.

- You'd better watch
your neck, my sister.

- You may have
turned him, but you

don't forget who turned you.

- Hey, since we're
after vampires,

is that why they
call it a stake out?

- Look, back at the
station, I just

needed to know you could
handle yourself under pressure.

-Forget it.

- Yeah, that was a
hell of a move, kid.

-Thanks.

- Looks like we're going
to be here for awhile.

- I'm glad I brought
a good book to read.

- Yeah, well you'll find
that a good detective has

to to be patient
to solve a case.

- We're not supposed
to be on this case.

-Thanks for reminding me.

-Hello.

-Reeger, it's Michaels.

-Ah, what's up, Chief?

-Look, Reeger.

I know how you operate.

I want to be sure you're
still not working this case.

-No, Chief.

I just got out of
my spinning class.

- I'm telling you... you leave
the dirty work to Hardcastle

and his goon hunters,
you understand?

- Chief, I got you
the first time, OK?

Look, I got to get cleaned
up for my internet date.

-I mean it, Reeger.

-Chief, I got to go.

Bye.

-He says, keep up the good work.

-What took so long?

Just because I am
an immortal does not

mean that I have all
the time in the world.

It all goes to preparations.

-There was a problem.

-What?

- The Stake Force
was already there.

-How many casualties?

-Too many.

- I'm assuming that you
secured the sacrifice?

-She managed to escape.

-But they had to protect her.

- I believe that he is
the chosen one, Master.

-A vampire with a soul.

Can it be?

Can it be?

-But it's only a legend.

-Silence.

And so, the prophecy unfolds
exactly as I had foreseen.

Where is he?

Now.

-We have him.

-I need to know his intentions.

-Let me have him.

-No.

I turned him.

It is my duty, Master.

-So it's your burden, Lillith.

Bring him over to our side,
but if you fail at this,

then his blood must
flow this very night.

-Freeze, turkey.

-Easy, Dirty Harry.

-Sorry.

What's happening?

-Did Tom turn up, hey?

Come on.

-Hey, Stank.

- I see you've got
something for me?

-Always do.

-OK.

I'm a little short this
week, so just spot me, OK?

- What do I look
like, the Red Cross?

-You look like an asshole.

Fucking son of a bitch.

-Fucking vampires.

-Hey!

-Dammit, Reeger!

I could have ripped
your throat out.

- You couldn't rip a
fart out of your ass.

-No need to get personal.

-Peters, meet Stank.

Stank, meet Peters.

- Why do they call
you... oh, nevermind.

- Stank is my snitch,
aren't you, Stank?

- I prefer the term
purveyor of information.

- So why don't you tell me about
the murders at Club Sinister?

-That was a real mess.

-I know it was a mess.

I was there cleaning it up.

- Well, there's been lots
of bloodshed lately.

First, Club Sinister.

Then your peeps hit
the vamp sanctuary.

Huh, you didn't
know about that one?

I guess you're out of the loop.

Get to the point.

-OK!

OK, my sources tell me there's
some deep supernatural shit

about to hit the fan, OK.

That's all I know.

That's all I know.

I swear.

- All right, you've been
a great help, Stank.

I won't turn you over
to the state this time.

Just keep your facts clean.

- Hey, you got a couple extra
bucks for a pint of blood?

-How much?

-Oh, shit!

You asshole!

-What's next?

-I don't know.

We've got to go back to the
station, work on some back up.

No, we've got to
get some weapons.

We've got to check out
that vampire safe house.

-Wait a minute.

- I know we're not supposed
to be on this case, OK.

But until we find out what's
going on, it's you and me, kid.

And we got to be ready.

-For what?

-The worst.

- Vladimus sent me to
speak with a prisoner.

-Of course.

-What's happening?

I need some answers.

- Richard, it's is very
different world now.

And the bleeders
want to rule it.

Our master Vladimus
needs to know

if you're with us or against us.

-How can you be part of this?

- We're all just
trying to survive.

-At whose expense?

-We don't have much time.

At dawn, the planets
will align, creating

a total eclipse of the sun.

It only happens once
every 1,000 years,

and that's when our master
will perform the ceremony.

-To do what?

-To blot out the sun.

To make the world forever night.

It's called Maltivore.

-Vampire Armageddon.

- And to complete the ceremony,
a virgin must be sacrificed.

- Good luck finding one of
those in L.A. The attack.

They were after Mary.

-Yes.

-So why haven't they killed me?

- Vladimus needs you
to be on our side.

He believes that
you're the chosen one.

-Chosen for what?

Midnight snack?

- When you become a vampire,
you lose your humanity.

But you didn't.

Somehow you still
have your soul,

and that's as unnatural
as it gets, hence

making a lot of very
powerful demons nervous.

-This is like a nightmare.

I didn't ask for any of this.

-Didn't you?

You have to understand.

I thought you were dead.

-I was dead.

Damn dead.

You should know...
You made me this way.

-No, I mean dead dead.

The kind of dead that
you don't come back from.

But you did.

You came back.

- I thought I'd
never see you again.

-Here I am.

-Come to me.

Now feed.

Feed.

Feed.

-Was it good?

-Absolutely.

We're clear.

-Come with me.

-No.

Lexa is my sister.

She's the only
family I have left.

I have to try to convince
her to come with me.

It's OK.

Everything will be fine.

We'll be together again.

-Forever and ever.

-Forever and ever.

-I'll be back with some help.

-Hurry.

-Somebody's in trouble.

-You will pay for this.

-Who's that?

She's cute.

-That's my daughter.

-Oh.

Well, I can see where she
gets her good looks from.

Where is she?

-I lost her two years ago.

-What do you mean?

- She was killed in
the vampire uprising.

-Oh, Reeger.

I'm sorry.

-Don't be sorry.

Let's just get this thing done.

-Mary.

Mary!

-Freeze, turkey.

-Don't try anything.

These are silver-tipped bullets.

-That only works on werewolves.

-Oh.

-Look out!

-Back off!

You're not going to kill me with
the rest of your bloodsucking

buddies, are you?

-Wait a minute.

I'm one of the good guys.

-You expect me to believe that.

-It's the truth.

I'm here for reinforcements.

-You ain't leftovers.

I'll see you in hell.

-Where's Mary?

-We got separated.

What happens now?

-It's time to fight back.

- I have been working
on some weapons

using ultraviolet light.

- You have weapons and you
haven't been using them?

-We deplore violence.

-It's a little late for that.

The bleeders are up at
the old Fairbanks mansion

planning the end of the world.

-What are you talking about?

- They're about to perform some
sort of a ceremony... Matador,

Maltador, or...

-Maltivore?

-That's it.

- Maltivore is the vampire
word for black dawn.

If it's true,
we're all finished.

- So what are you
going to do about it?

That's what I thought.

Are you coming?

-Hey, I'm coming.

Wait a minute!

-Hey, we'd better hurry up.

The sun will be up soon.

It's the best time to get them.

-What about Lillith?

-They're going to kill us all.

- You're beginning
to get the picture.

-Celeste.

- Oh, I'm so glad
I found you two.

-Where's Betty?

-We barely got out alive.

- What about Richard
and the others?

The sanctuary?

-It's not safe anymore.

But we have another place.

Come on, hurry.

I'll take you.

Come on.

Come on, hurry up.

Here she is.

A virgin, just like we agreed.

-My kind of girl.

-How could you betray us?

-I had no choice.

They took my Betty.

- We made her an offer
she couldn't refuse.

- They promised to make
me a full vampire.

-Oh, yeah.

About that.

I forgot to mention
one little thing.

We don't take anyone over 30.

-What is that?

- This is a 16th century
cross filled with holy water.

- Where do you get
something like that?

-Ebay.

- Are you sure these tunnels
lead into the mansion?

-Yeah.

It was on the map
to the stars' homes.

- Maybe we should
call for backup.

-Already tried.

-And?

-Line's busy.

-I really think we should wait.

- You know what the
professor said.

Black dawn.

Well, there's your dawn.

We can't let them get to
the blacking out part.

Let's go.

-You've had this coming.

Very long time.

-Richard is the chosen one.

He will stop you.

-I know he'll be back.

I'm counting on it.

-We'd better split up.

You go that way, I go this way.

- Are you sure this
is a good idea?

-Just stay in contact.

Peters, I found a way in.

Peters.

Peters?

Dammit.

- Master, a fresh sample
of the virgin's blood.

-Master, The Book of the Dead.

-Bring forth the virgin.

-Get me the virgin!

-Shit.

-Our world begins!

-Freeze.

-Pathetic human.

You think you can
kill all of us?

-I don't need to.

Just him.

-Protect the Master.

- We're a little
outnumbered here.

-You're a pretty good detective.

-Wrong party.

-I told you I'd come back.

- They were going
to sacrifice me.

-You should have got laid.

-Where's Mary and Lindsey?

-They're upstairs in the tower.

-All right.

We're on it.

-You still have to get Vladimus.

-Let's go.

- Send these bastards
back to hell!

LINDSEY (OFFSCREEN): Help, help!

Somebody help us!

-It's the police!

Watch your step.

Step back away from the door!

You're OK?

-Yeah, I'm fine.

-Dad?

-Mary.

I thought you were dead.

-Mommy, who's this?

- Um, honey... this
is your grandfather.

-They call me half pint.

- Look, I hate interrupt
this family reunion,

but we're not out
of the fire yet.

-Yeah.

You stay with them.

I'll be right back.

- Mommy, he's not
wearing a shirt.

-It's casual Friday.

-Oh.

- More than enough
to buy a new army.

-Just in case.

-Going somewhere?

- Lexa, you can
still come with us.

- There are predators
and there are prey.

And I'm a predator!

- It's the end of
this world, Richard.

Join my world.

-No.

- Last chance to join
the winning team.

I'm tired of games, Richard.

Feel my true power.

-You've got to be kidding.

-Hey, ugly.

-Richard!

-No!

No!

No.

-Richard, it's OK.

You gave me back my soul.

It's OK.

-Lillith.

-Forever and ever.

-Forever and ever.

Forever and ever.

RICHARD NARRATING: So here
I am at the crossroads

of my afterlife I don't
know what the future holds,

but one thing's for sure...
Lexa and some of the bleeders

are still out there feeding.

Someone has to stop them.

I could use a job.

- Man, I hope you
brought some money.

-Buy a girl a drink?

-Sure, sweetheart.

Whatever you'd like.

- Looks like drinks are
on the house, boys.

- Hope you brought enough
cash tonight, brother.

Hold on.

-Action.

-Action.

Sorry.

-Hardcastle was right.

This falls in the
jurisdiction of stecks.

Sex?

Stecks.

-Rule number two... no survivors.

Rule number three...
You've got to watch out.

- I told you I'd
come back for you.

Where's Mary and Lindsey?

-Action.

-Whoa.

It's me.

Gotta get out of here.