Return of the Hero (2018) - full transcript

RETURN OF THE HERO

Elisabeth!

There you are.

Tell your sister
her dress looks exquisite!

She won't believe me.

I look like a baby.

Yes, but it's not the dress.

Elisabeth!

Not on a day like today!

You're right, on a day like today...
best say nothing.

He's here! The captain's here!



I can't wear this dress.
Get it off me!

Be careful!

Burgundy, 1809

- Miss Beaugrand.
- Captain.

I thought soldiers were punctual.

No, they're courageous.

As proof, I stand before you.

How inobservant I am.

You're insolent as well.

- I have many qualities.
- I hope so, Captain.

Too many men think
a smile will get them anywhere.

Too many indeed.

Mr. Beaugrand.

Madam.



Pauline.

No need for vain words,

we all know the reason for my visit,

so I shall get to the point.

Sir, I solemnly request
your daughter Pauline's hand.

We accept with pleasure!

What a happy day! What joy!

We must set a date at once.

Captain.

I have orders for you.

You must join the 3rd Army Corps
on its way to Austria.

Dry your tears, Pauline.

The Emperor will crush the Austrians.
We'll return in no time.

Will you write?

Every day. I promise.

But of course,
the Captain never wrote.

Pauline waited for weeks
and then months,

hoping each day
to have news from him.

In vain.

She refuses to eat.

A plague upon that devil.

He's fighting a war.
Perhaps he's busy.

Busy? No.

He forgot her
the minute he left the estate.

He's a philanderer, nothing more.

A philanderer.

Sweetheart...

Hello.

My mother asked me to...

Forgive me, I'm Nicolas.

Nicolas Bonvallet.
I believe this is for your mother.

Hello.

Pneumonia.

Oh my god!

Tell us the truth, Doctor.

It all depends on her.

If she has something to live for,
she'll fight. Otherwise...

What I did that night, I did for her.

It was a bad idea.
A very bad idea, but...

1 did it anyhow.

Father! Mother!

Pauline received a letter!

Let's see.

"My dearest Pauline...

My dearest Pauline,

since..."

"My dearest Pauline,

time has flown
since our hurried adieus.

You must think I'd forgotten
both my promise

and your pretty face.

How wrong you are!

You know the guilty party...

it's the war.

I am grateful that it grants me

time to write to you at last.

I wish to tell you, dear Pauline,

how often I think of you.

These thoughts sustain and soothe me,

even in the torment of battle.

My feelings for you
are the same as the first day.

I long for only one thing,
be with you and see you laughing,

happy and strong.

Imagining you this way
gives me more joy

than any of our victories.

Live, my beloved.
Be strong, happy and beautiful.

I send you my sweet,

tender and sincere regards.

Charles-Grégoire Neuville."

Thank you.

For a philanderer,
he's quite thoughtful.

Eugénie, a pen and paper!
I'll reply now.

That's impossible.

And why's that?

Because...

- You don't know where he is.
- ldo.

You must send the letter
to the Central Army Command.

My sister writes to my nephew there.

There you go.

Everyone out! I need to be alone

to write my fiancé.

Yes, sweetheart.

Your wishes are our orders.

Eugénie,
I must run an errand for Father.

I'll post Pauline's letter
at the same time.

I'm afraid I cannot share
the content of this letter

in which I discovered
my sister's unsuspected talent...

for erotic prose.

Dear Pauline,

thank you for your sweet letter...

Your cheerful good mood
warms my heart.

I must leave for battle again.

"If I had one last wish,

I should be reunited
with the well-brought-up girl I know,

my sweet, innocent Pauline,

whose manners are irreproachable."

As if he could doubt it.

He's a bit distant, isn't he?

You can soon ask him in person.

The Emperor has signed the armistice.
He's on his way back.

Are you sure?

It says so right here.

Dear Pauline, I am sad to announce

I will not be returning
with our victorious troops.

I've been entrusted
with a highly-confidential mission,

and am currently on my way to...

India!

"I must travel to Pondicherry
in Southern India

to protect our colonies,
for the English

are hotly disputing this territory.

As you imagine, this journey
does not fill me with joy,

but orders are orders...

and a soldier must obey."

"Dear Pauline,

life in Pondicherry
is easy and prosperous..."

Perhaps I went too far at times...

carried away by my imagination.

I hear Captain Neuville has bought
tobacco plantations.

No! He sold
the tobacco plantations ages ago

with a 20,000-franc profit!

Now he has elephants,
a whole farm full.

"The tiger burst forth!

The hunters panicked
and ran for their lives.

I admit, I did not escape
without a few scratches,

but as I sit here now,

the horrible beast is my bedside rug."

But that night,

I understood it had to stop.

Pauline,

my Pauline,

my luck has turned...

"For several weeks now,

the enemy has been secretly
amassing troops at our borders,

and they attacked us by surprise.

Our losses are high.

Only a handful of us remain,
holed up in a fort,

surrounded by 2,000 soldiers

who will launch an attack
within hours.

I am injured.

Should this letter reach you,
I greatly fear that...

I shall no longer be with you.

At this tragic moment,
only one thing counts for me,

your happiness.

Do not give up your youth, Pauline.

Forget me,

and look around you.

The future is right there.

I clasp you to my heart.

Adieu."

Come now, my dear.

Get the smelling salts!

Eugénie!

Exit Captain Neuville...

enter Nicolas.

All's well that ends well.

Well, almost.

Arhay-Luduc, one hour stop!

Stinks in there.

My luggage, please.

- Give me a drink!
- Get lost.

I can pay!

Get out of here!

Sorry.

Let me help you.

Don't touch me!

Hang on...

- I know you.
- No.

- Yes, I do.
- Let go of me!

- You don't know me!
- Yes, I do.

Beaugrand.

Not at all.

The elder sister!

She's the elder Beaugrand!

Shut up.

Shut up, I said.

- About what?
- Come here.

This way.

- Where are we going?
- Shut up!

I'm so happy to see you!

What happened to you?

I wanted a drink and...

Not that!
You left for Austria 3 years ago.

Ah, yes. Beautiful country,
but not very welcoming.

You make ho sense.

Say, could you help me
settle my dispute with the innkeeper?

- Listen, Captain.
- No more "Captain."

- You left the army?
- Without notice.

You deserted!

You're a coward. A traitor.

Yes, right.

Any spare change? I'll pay you back.

I'll give you money.

But it's not for drink.

Then forget it.

20 francs.

- Make it 100.
- You're a monster!

- Filthy inside and out.
- Yes, you're right.

Add 2 francs for a shave
and I'll pay your sister my respects.

- You wouldn't?
- On the contrary, I would.

I behaved badly with...

Pauline.

Don't even try.
She's married with children.

- For her, you're dead and buried.
- How's that?

- She had no news and assumed that...
- What?

- I must reassure her at once.
- No!

I made her believe it.

She was pining away! You never wrote.

So I pretended I was you
and wrote her letters.

Very nice I must say.

And in the last one, I...

But have no fear, Neuville.

You died a hero.
The whole town believes it.

"In memory
of Captain Charles-Grégoire Neuville,

hero of the Empire.

May his spirit and example
forever inspire

our town's inhabitants."

You see the problem now?

Such daring,

such courage and panache...

He was an extraordinary man.

Who?

Well, not you.

It'd be a pity to spoil things.

Oh no, not him!

Oh no, not them.

This man paid for his seat.
He'll sit inside.

You're a good woman, Miss Beaugrand.

- I'm sorry about your dress.
- Goodbye, Captain.

Oh my god!

It can't be!

What's wrong now?

He's back.

- Who?
- Captain Neuville.

You saw him?

Firmine saw him in town this morning.

He said he was coming to see

Sir and Madam.

Oh my god, he's come for Pauline.

He can't do that!

He's here!

Oh my god!

This can't be happening!

Quick, into the sitting room!

Elisabeth!

No, have him wait.

- How long?
- I don't know.

Count to a hundred.

86...87...88...

89.90...

91... 92...

93... 94...

95... 96...

97.98...

99... 100!

Please follow me, Captain.

- My respects, Madam.
- Captain.

Sir.

Miss Beaugrand.

Captain.

You've surely noticed

that years have passed
since your last visit.

Time is of no consequence.

I am here today
and honor obliges me to tell Pauline

my feelings are the same.

I wish her happiness.

Thus, I rejoice to see her so happy,

a contented mother and fulfilled wife.

Captain, what a pleasure
to see you again.

The pleasure is all mine!

Will you stay for lunch?

- If you ask.
- 1 do not ask.

l insist!

Eugénie, tell the kitchen
we have a guest.

Captain, may I show you
how the garden has grown?

- If you insist.
- ldo.

- We agreed you were to leave.
- And I did.

- You came back.
- No, the old Neuville left.

This is the new Neuville.

You've lost your reason.

No, I found it again. Thanks to you.

Meaning?

At the first stop,
the other travelers ganged up

to keep me out of the inn.

Lying in the stable,
I had plenty of time to think

and I understood.

The world makes us what we are.

Treat me as a vagabond,

I'm a vagabond.

Graciously welcomed,
I'm amiable and presentable.

You make ho sense.

But it's so simple.

Elsewhere I'm a nobody.

Here... I'm Captain Neuville.

No.

You're anything but Captain Neuville.

What about the monsoon?

Tell us!

The monsoon...

They say it's unbelievable.

Unbelievable.

Rain like you've never seen before.

A deluge.

Entire herds swept away.

Herds of what?

Dogs, cats, rats...

- Elephants too?
- Of course.

Elephants too.

Dozens of them,
carried away like wisps of straw.

Is this when you lost your herd?

Entirely decimated.

Poor beasts.

They are such

sensitive animals.

And what memories they have!
An elephant's memory!

The survivors must have remembered

that dreadful day forever.

Itwas...

It was a difficult moment.

Really not easy.

Us too...

we had terrible storms.

It was last winter.

I remember once,

I came home
looking like a drowned rat.

Yes, I can imagine.

- And the tobacco?
- The tobacco?

Your plantations.
How much land do you have?

Oh, I'd say a good hectare.

But tobacco is not
my main source of income. Far from it.

Really?

- And what is it?
- Diamonds.

Diamonds?

I won a mine in a card game
against a maharajah.

I extract a barrel a day.

A good barrel.

Spectacular!

Yes.

When it comes it comes.

Captain...

at the risk of seeming impolite,

I must ask the question
everyone is dying to know...

Go ahead!

How did you survive?

Your last letter described

a quite desperate situation.

Yes, tell us!

Tell us how you got out of that fort,

with only a handful of men,
surrounded by 2,000 Englishmen!

So, you didn't get
the letter where I explained

- how I escaped?
- No, never!

That's why
we all thought you were dead!

You see, that's just like me!

I understand your concern.

I would have felt the same.

This hen is delicious,
Madam Beaugrand.

And so?

So?

How did you escape?

You're surely weary of the story,

but please give us the pleasure.

We're burning
to hear every last detail!

Unfortunately the details have faded.

I lost my memory after a head injury.

- Where?
- To my head.

Where on your head?

You see, I can't remember.

It's crazy. A blackout.

Didn't you tell me earlier,

that you were hiding in the armory,

and that as a last resort,
you'd decided

to blow everything up?

Yes!

That's exactly it. Good memory.

Absolutely.

I didn't tell you?

- No, never!
- You see, I'm hopeless.

Never!

What a donkey I am!

Yes, I see.

The English surely did everything
to make you leave the fort.

Exactly, Elisabeth.

Everything. They tried everything.

Starting by trying to starve us out.

It's so like the English.

Moreover, most of my comrades
died of hunger.

As captain, I tried not to lose hope.

Thats...

until our last ember died out.

I couldn't even blow up the armory.

Like they say, I was...

- Lost?
- Yes!

I was lost.

Exactly.

Alone and lost.

But thanks to a moonless night,
gliding in the dark,

the Captain ingeniously managed
to flee.

No?

No, Miss Beaugrand.

A soldier never flees.

Much less a Hussar Captain.

So there I was, alone against...

2,000 Englishmen charging at me.

I had 3 bullets.

I knew the battle was lost,

but I wanted to die a soldier.

The horde advanced inexorably.

They were 500 yards away.

I loaded my gun.

I took aim.

They were 300 yards away.

My gun was trained.

100 yards...

I placed my finger on the trigger...

And then!

The cavalry arrived.

A dragoon regiment.
They made short work of the Brits.

The cavalry arrived!

- Is that the end?
- Yes.

How pathetic.

My dear,
would you have preferred he die?

No. But let's be honest,
it sounds like a bad novel.

Itis a bad novel, I agree.

But it's my story.
The one I was given.

This is the sitting room,
and here's the office.

It's modest, but you'll be
more comfortable than at the inn.

You're much too kind.

- But if you insist...
- ldo.

While we're alone, I'd like to

ask you...

You see, it's about the mine.

The mine?

The diamond mine.

Yes, of course.

I'd like to know

if there's any way...

I mean, would you agree to...

consider the idea of allowing me to...

invest in it?

My goodness, I have no...

Be assured,
I am trustworthy in business.

I'm sure you are.

But what kind of investment
do you mean?

What would you say to 50,000 francs?

I'd say it's a good start.

Not a word to anyone.

Especially not Loiseau.

He's a fine fellow,
but in business, he's a bit...

Or rather not very...

Well, you see what I mean.

Then I'll let you get settled in.

And don't forget,

make yourself at home!

You love your hero, don't you?

You smell like a tiger!

Well, well. Miss Beaugrand.

Captain.

- Perhaps I disturb you?
- Not at all.

- What can I do for you?
- Leave.

- Leave?
- Yes, and this time for good.

I fear that's not my plan.

If this is another ruse
to squeeze money out of me,

it won't work.

Never.

1,000 francs.

- What?
- 1,000 francs to leave.

Where would you get that?

I'll steal it if need be.

Anything to be rid of you.

I'm very touched, but no.

2,000. My last word.

5,000. And it's really my last word.

And mine is "no."

For 5,000 francs?

Apparently,
I'm not as venal as you think.

Your artifice won't last two days.

You'll be unmasked.

With you.
Our destinies are now linked.

If I go down, so do you.

And so?

"Seeing the children
swept away by the waves,

heeding only my courage,

I leapt into the raging sea..."

What?

It's absurd. I can't even swim.

"Braving the storm,
I caught two of the children.

Alas, the immense waves

swallowed up the third."

- You mean he drowned?
- Yes.

I let a child drown?

You didn't "let" it drown.
You couldn't save it.

Why'd you do that?

To be realistic.
You can't always save everybody.

It's a child!

That's what makes you
human and moving.

Right. One little Indian more or less,
as long as I look good.

I'm only trying to help you.

That was our deal.

- If you want to criticize...
- Carry on.

"A child under each arm,
I myself almost drowned,

but happily a fishing boat sailed by."

How lucky.

A fishing boat
in the midst of a storm!

What would you prefer?
A dolphin? A giant turtle?

It's a bit easy.

Easy?

You think it's easy
inventing new adventures each week

for months on end?

OK, what's the end?

He makes it, naturally.

Who?

The dolphin.

- No, Captain Neuville.
- Oh yes, him.

- I thought you meant the third kid.
- Ah no, he drowned.

I'm sure I could've saved him.

You can't swim.

Me, no.

But Captain Neuville, yes.

"Dear Pauline, after the storm,
we dropped anchor at Madras..."

Where the stifling heat

made the air so thick
you could have cut it with a knife.

"The Hindus' strange fashion
of wagging their heads

caused many misunderstandings."

I had a servant whipped
for arguing with me,

when in fact he was agreeing!

And the more I whipped him,
the more he nodded.

And the more he nodded,
the more I whipped him!

"The modest Indian women
bathe fully-clothed in the river..."

But when they come out of the water,

their saris cling to their skin,

revealing small fawn-like nipples
under the wet silk.

"On Sundays, after church..."

On Sundays, after church...

- "I visited..."
- Wait, I know!

On Sundays, after church,
I'd visit the leper colony

to bring these people...

These poor people...

We presume that lepers are poor.

It emphasizes
the sentiment of pity they inspire.

Oh, I see.

Then how about "unfortunate"?

- It's more exact.
- As you like.

- Less condescending.
- OK.

- It's far more...
- I said OK!

To bring
these unfortunate people comfort,

for despite their repelling
appearance, they are...

They are...

Human beings.

Oh yes, human beings...

human beings
who yearn for warmth and compassion.

And there we go.

The sight is not for sensitive souls.

It sometimes surpasses
the horrors of war.

I remember one blunder
during my first visit.

Whilst greeting a leper,

I squeezed his hand too vigorously,

and it fell off!

There were...

What are you doing?

It was just a proposal...

but you're right.

I'll keep it simple.

It is with pride and pleasure

that I accept this award

in recognition
of my numerous exploits.

With humility too,
for as everyone knows,

circumstances make the hero.

Not the opposite.

While we're here,
I have some good news:

the third child
was found safe and sound,

saved by a sea turtle
which he clung to.

Anything can happen!

Thank you!

Pauline!

- What now?
- I'm tired.

Then leave. I'll join you later.

Captain.

Wouldn't it be proper
to give them back?

What's that?

My letters.

Unfortunately, I cannot.

You destroyed them?

I thought it wiser.

You found them too...

My letters, were they too...?

Too much no, but a bit...

Do not believe I spoke lightly.

I'd have done all of it.

- I believe you.
- No, I can see you don't.

I'm rather tired.

I'll be resting upstairs
in the last room.

Captain, do you have a minute?

Of course.

I simply wanted to tell you
that I know.

- You know?
- Something I'm not supposed to know.

The mine.

Dunoyer is a nice enough fellow,

but he can't keep a secret.

And he's a bit...

I'm far more discreet than he,
and above all...

far more generous.

We could discuss this
tomorrow afternoon

at my house?

I'll be there.

A glass of champagne, sir?

I'll take the bottle.

Go no further.

I know your intentions
with that bottle and smile.

Since I am unmasked,
I can only confess.

Luckily.

I was looking for you.

I saw you going upstairs

and a mad idea crossed my mind.

What's stopping us?

Why wouldn't we lock ourselves
inside one of these rooms,

put our differences aside,

and let the champagne do the rest?

Is that a "no"?

No, it's nota "no."

It's just that...

Yes?

Stop looking at me like that.

Why?

You unsettle me.

- Really?
- Yes, I admit.

I don't know
if it's since your return,

or if it was always like this, but...

struggle as I might,

it's just so obvious, you are...

lam...

You are...

You are...

A moron!

How pretentious! How naive!

My poor man,

how could you imagine a single second

that I might succumb
to your supposed charm?

Listen to me, Neuville.

Pauline is a married woman
and marriage is sacred.

So leave her alone!

I've understood.

You're jealous.

- Jealous?
- Of your sister.

Jealous... and alone.

- You know why I'm alone?
- No.

Because it's my choice.

So, no.

I'm not jealous. I'm disappointed.

- Disappointed?
- Yes.

You're spoiling my creation.

My Captain Neuville
was refined and subtle.

Yours is a caricature!

Yes, but everyone loves me.

Not everyone.

Very well, have a pleasant evening.

Alone.

All alone.

All alone!

So very alone.

- Pauline?
- Francois?

Captain.

- I was waiting for someone else.
- Likewise.

Maybe another time?

Uh, no...

Come!

Come on, hurry up!

I've waited so long!

You wanted your hero, didn't you?

Wait.

- What?
- Talk to me first.

- About?
- The women you met on your travels.

- What were they like?
- Uh...

Were they loose women?

- Prostitutes?
- Sometimes.

Were they ugly and dirty?
Describe them.

They were ugly and dirty.

- Toothless too?
- Yes.

- Did it excite you?
- Not really.

Yes, it did!

You were desperate!

Yes, that's it.

You wanted to die of pleasure
before at war!

Devastate a hussy
with your unsheathed sabre!

Treat me like you treated them.
Like a slut!

- A peasant girl tied up in a field!
- I'm trying...

I know you're in there!
Come out at once!

Stop it, now!

Pauline, don't do it!

Go on, do it. Go wild.

- Go wild!
- I don't like that much.

Then slap me.

Slap me!

Harder!

Slap me hard!

Like this, look.

I love it!

I deserve it! I was a naughty girl.

Punish me.

Claw me like a tiger.

What's with the tigers?

Let the beast inside you out!

I'm coming in!

Start without me, I'll be right back.

Pauline, I'll tell Mother.

You won, I'm telling Mother.

At the count of 3, I'm coming in.

One... two... three!

And off we go!

You animal!

Come on.

- Want to make peace?
- Peace!

You've gone too far.
From now on, it's war!

You don't scare me.

Error!
I created you, I can destroy you!

Very well.

Now you're alone

and wet.

You'll pay for this!

Hiding in the darkness,

the English pounced on us!

A ferocious battle ensued!

My comrades fell like flies,
crying "Long live the Emperor!"

with their last breath.

I can still hear them.

I thought

my time had come.

Then I saw a small wall.

I leapt up with a single bound!

I dominated the enemy,

forcing them
to expose themselves to reach me.

I chopped off fingers, hands, arms

and hair!

You won't get me.

You filthy Englishmen!

We shall win! Long live the Empire!

Long live France!

Excuse me, Nicolas.

Someone forgot this coat
in the stables. Is it yours?

No.

I believe it's Mr. Neuville's.

You're right. Sorry.

Oh, Elisabeth.

This is Pauline's writing.

Oh, you're right.

Nicolas, what's wrong?

How terrible!

Pauline's letter in Neuville's pocket.

What an affront! It's scandalous!

What are you going to do?

Two cowardly Brits
seized the woman and her child,

and ordered me to surrender.

You imagine my dilemma.

I threw down my sword.

The English advanced,
wielding their arms.

I thought my time had come.

Again!

Yes, dear Madam.

You never get used to it.

Nicolas!

This man is a hypocrite, a swindler

and a villain!

Contrary to what he pretends,

he still has sights on Pauline.

He has duped us!

This letter is proof!

It was in his coat,

written in Pauline's hand.

He keeps it secretly,
close to his heart!

Are you saying, Nicolas...

you went
through the Captain's pockets?

Hang on, it's a misunderstanding.

This letter is scrap to me.

There's probably
a shopping list on the back...

OK, no list.

I swear this letter is innocent.

I'll read it to you to dismiss...

On second thought, no.

This is too much, sir.

I await you at dawn in the meadow.

As challenger, I choose the arm.

The pistol.

He's crazy!

Completely crazy!

I hadn't finished.

I was mistaken about you.

You're not jealous of your sister.

- Rather of me.
- You?

Absolutely.

Look at you.

You're upright,
serious, honest and devoted...

And in return? Nothing.

You're ignored or exploited.

I've neither morals nor ethics,

yet wherever I go,
I spread happiness and joy.

Of course you can't stand me.

But I won't leave.

And a fool's death
will plague your conscience.

What was that?

Listen Nicolas...

this has gone too far.

Isn't your reaction rather immature?

Aren't you a tad over-sensitive?

It doesn't have to be like this!

It's her doing!

Nicolas,

I must unfortunately go away
for several days.

I am sadly obliged
to postpone our duel.

You want to fight?

Come get me!

No, I'm not afraid.

No, Nicolas, it's not fear.

Do you know fear?

Jump on the bed with me
and share this moment of joy!

It's time, Captain.

Yes, of course.

I was waiting for you.

Nicolas, may I speak to you?

I'll blow your brains out.

You hear me?

I'll put a bullet through your head
and you'll die like a fool.

You wanted to play tough guy,
show us you got some...

I understand.

I even like it.

But now you're going to apologize

and stop this nonsense
before you get hurt.

Alright?

Choose your gun.

There are no other ones?

Make up your mind!

OK, I'll take this one.

Then I'll take this one.

No, sorry. I'll take this one.

As challenger, Mr. Bonvallet

determines the modalities.

He has decided
to place you at 10 paces.

Don't regulations stipulate
between 12 and 15 paces?

Twelve.

Gentlemen, get into position.

Gentlemen, go.

Stop, Neuville.

That's 12.

Funny, I counted 11.

Gentlemen, when I say "get ready."

You cock your guns.

When I say "fire."

You shoot.

On your marks!

Get ready!

Stop!

Stop!

I beg you, Captain, spare Nicolas!

- Move aside, Pauline!
- Yes, move aside, Miss.

Please.

It's true, you were my idol.

I admit,
I was unsettled by your return.

I confess,
I was flattered that my letters

meant something to you.

But I sincerely love Nicolas.
He's always been there for me.

As you can see, he's courageous too.

Don't take him from me.

I won't hurt him

or take him from you.

Calm down.

The idea of killing you
was hard enough,

but upsetting Pauline is impossible.

I have no choice
but to forego this duel.

Defend yourself!

Come on, Nicolas.

Be reasonable.

I demand he make amends!

- Can't you see...
- I must save my honor!

- Your honor!
- My honor?

Since when do you care?

What do you mean?

When that disgusting tradesman
made advances

at the market, did you care?

What do you mean?
He was courteous, no more.

Courteous!

And when your mother treats me
like a servant?

Be respectful.

What about me?

Are you respectful when you shore?

It's my nasal cavities.

You never listen to my day!

But you do nothing.

When you wear your vile boots

right into the bedroom,
is that respect?

How many times have I asked you?

They stink! And so do your feet!
They're putrid!

You should consult a doctor,
better yet an embalmer!

Your feet smell like death!

What?!

Nicolas... may I?

Explain things to him, Captain.

Be firm.

He needs to harden up!
Because that's a problem too.

Oh, yes!

It had come to a head.
It's unbearable.

It had to come out.

Go on, fight! I don't care.

Get yourself killed, I'l manage!

And your mother
can forget seeing the kids!

Trust me.

Good riddance. I can move on.

Is that it?

Has the baby finished his tantrum?

Got something to say?
You want me to comfort you?

And now you shut up.

Come on.

We're going home.

Claw me! Harder!

Like a tiger!

Slap me!

Father.

Mother?

Oh, it's you.

What are you doing?

The same as everyone else.

- We're investing.
- Investing?

In what?

In the Captain's diamond mine!

- Get the gold ingots.
- We've run out.

Get the property titles.

We'd never dream of speaking ill
of Loiseau or Dunoyer.

- They're good fellows.
- Of course.

But when it comes to business,
they're rather...

How to put it...

Let's say,
we believe we have better to offer.

Much better.

If I can take a load off you,
as they say...

We need to talk.

I'm working.

I'll be quick.

I'll be right back.

No, not in there!

Madam.

A friend.

Not there either!

- Where then?
- Follow me.

I know what you're up to.
It's pure theft!

Don't shout.

I'll shout if I want to!

You're swindling these poor people.

First off, they're not poor.

Two, it's they
who wish to invest in my mine.

Which doesn't exist.

- Which doesn't exist.
- True.

How can you think
you'll get away with such a lie?

I've thought it over
and it's actually quite simple.

Don't touch me!

I've designed what you could call
a pyramid scheme.

I pay the first investor
with the next two's money.

Who are paid by the next four...

and so on.

With enough investors,
it can go on forever.

It's smart.

Very smart.

- And the risks are limited.
- But they exist.

They exist, but it's smart.

It can work.

- It's smart.
- I agree.

But it's totally immoral!

Yes, itis.

Listen here,

I will not let half the town,
my own family included,

be ripped off by you.

Either you publicly confess
your scheme or else I will.

It will be a huge scandal.

Never mind.

So be it.

I'll visit your parents tomorrow.

- What?
- Tomorrow?

I don't trust you, Neuville.

You tell them now.

Right now.

Now.

May I get my frock coat?

Captain Neuville.

Oh, what a surprise!

It's always a pleasure to see you.

Sit down with us
and enjoy this delicious moment.

Thank you...

but my reason for coming
obliges me to remain standing.

You're very mysterious today.

Indeed, I have something to announce.

You're almost scaring us.

Speak, we're listening.

What you are about to hear
may come as a surprise,

or a shock...

but this matter weighs on my soul

and I must come out with it.

The affection I have for your family,

my faithful, sincere attachment,

bring me here today...

to solemnly ask for Elisabeth's hand.

Thus, our friendship will evolve
into lasting family ties.

The dog. What a dog!

The liar.

The liar!

The swindler!

The swindler!

Impostor!

You must chase this man
out of our house.

He's the devil!

He'll destroy and dishonor us!

That's enough, Elisabeth.

Mother, please. I know his intentions.

Everything's false!

Every last word! Everything's made up.

The tigers, the journey, India,

the sea turtle, the diamonds...

It's all false.

It was all me!

No, not the diamonds. That was him.

Because I don't steal.

The nasty storyteller!
Villainous and ugly!

His brain is ticking!

Calculating.

I saw him get off the coach.

I saw him eat raw mackerel!

Like this!

Raw mackerel!

Enough!

But, Father!

You've gone too far!

Go calm down!

Right now. Out of my sight!

- But I'm Neuville!
- To your room!

Now!

That's enough!

I'm Captain Neuville!

Pardon, I'm baffled.

Elisabeth has always been rebellious
when it comes to marriage.

But this is beyond
what we ever could have imagined.

I don't understand.

And I loathe mackerel.

Miss Elisabeth,
I brought you some food.

Not hungry.

You haven't eaten since yesterday.

Miss.

What are those cannon shots?

General Mortier-Duplessis'
artillery regiment.

He arrived yesterday.

They say
there are Cossacks in the region.

Captain. What a pleasure.

Miss Beaugrand. Likewise.

Follow me, please.

- Gentlemen.
- My dear partner.

Dear friend.

Captain, there you are!
I was telling the General about you.

General Mortier-Duplessis,
this is Captain Neuville.

Captain.

The least one can say,

is that your reputation precedes you.

You're far too kind.

General.

General.

Excuse me.

- What have you done now?
- Nothing.

I thought you'd be pleased

to chat with an authentic
Imperial Army veteran.

Your fables won't last five minutes.

The story is coming to an end.

The story of a man
who thought lies would prevail.

You're stark raving mad.

They'll execute me.

No use trying to scare me.

What do you think they'll do?
Slap my wrist?

I deserted, Elisabeth.

That means a court martial
and the firing squad.

I just wanted...

What? To punish me? Win?

You don't win. I lose.

Now that everyone's here,

we can sit down.

So, Captain.

I hear you did the army proud.

Nothing extraordinary, sir.

Come now, Captain!

Don't be secretive.

You have before you a man
who fought alone

against 2,000 English soldiers.

2,000?

I admit I didn't count,
maybe there were less.

Even so,

the captain did France proud.

As he did in the Austrian campaign.

Right, Captain?

You were in Austria?

I have an announcement.

General, dear friends,

my very dear parents...

I wish to take advantage
of this lovely occasion to announce...

I've decided to accept
Captain Neuville's marriage proposal.

Congratulations.

Champagne!

Champagne for everyone!

And send in the musicians.

Come oh how.

So tell me, Captain,

if you were in Austria,

you were in Essling?

Yes, I had the honor.

That was some battle.

I've always wondered
how the Emperor got out of that mess.

Me too.

Pardon?

There they are!

They're coming!

It's time to dance!

Here we go!

General.

Come dance. Show the way!

No thanks.

Elisabeth! Leave the general alone.

Beaugrand, do something.

I'm getting fed up.

Elisabeth, come here.

I don't believe it!

Sit down.

Should you decide
to renounce marrying my daughter,

my wife and I
would understand perfectly.

Now, Captain...

tell us what happened at Essling.

What happened at Essling?

It was a beautiful day.

The Emperor
had won four victories in five days.

Then that morning,
while crossing the river,

the bridge collapsed under our weight.

A whole section of the army

was trapped in a stranglehold.

The Austrians
put their artillery into place...

The Emperor
ordered the cavalry to attack.

We launched our attack, proud...

and reckless.

But the Austrians fired
before we reached them.

I don't know
how long the slaughter lasted.

One hour.

Several seconds.

My memory is hazy.

A deafening noise.

The ground exploding.

Riders propelled into the air.

Joubert's head,

blown off by a cannonball,

his disarticulated body
still running madly.

My horse reared and fell.

Its warm blood ran down my face.

Beside me,
a man was looking at his own guts.

Another...

his arm hanging by a vein.

There.

Three hundred men died

in a downpour of fire and steel.

Three hundred bodies
blown to shreds across the plain.

Three hundred lives extinguished

in an instant.

General.

My god...

But how the devil
did you survive such a massacre?

I ran fast.

As far as possible.

You ran fast!

Excellent!

Your modesty does you credit, Captain.

We know how to fight wars,
but when it comes to telling them,

we're as timorous as young girls.

General!

Cossacks have been sighted
in the region.

Those vultures!

Get the cannons ready to greet them.

Madam.

Sir.
Duty forces me to cut short this meal,

and I must obey once again.

As for these Cossacks,
fear not, I'll have them for dessert.

Ladies and gents.

I'm sorry.

- What's the matter?
- Nothing.

- You didn't seem to like it.
- Yes, I did.

Was it too...

Or not enough...

No.

It's just that... how can I say...

I think I can't...

get over the fact that you're so...

- Direct?
- No.

Human?

No.

Uncompromising.

No. Cowardly.

Yes, it's true.

Well...

If we can't be lovers,
maybe we can be friends?

No, not friends.

Partners.

- Partners?
- The diamond mine.

The pyramid.

I want a percentage.

You she-devil!

I love it.

So be it. I have many failings,
but I'm not ungrateful.

And it's partly thanks to you
I'm here.

So, I'm willing to give you...

- 10%.
- l want 50.

- Out of the question!
- Why?

- You'd make the same as me.
- And?

You're a woman.

Captain!
This is 1812, not the Dark Ages!

It's time to drop these prejudices.

But 50%...

49.

- Are you sure? Where?
- The woods.

- How many?
- Fifty!

Oh my god. Captain, come quick!

The Cossacks are one league from here!

Julien saw them.

- The General...
- He doesn't know.

They'll be here in no time.

They'll massacre us!

- Stay calm! We must warn the General.
- I'lngo.

I was thinking of Nicolas.

No, you need me here.

You're the fastest rider.

The Captain can organize our defense.

Please, Captain.

Watch out for the furniture!
It's fragile.

Captain, isn't the angle of fire
from this window better?

Yes, very good. Stay there.

Captain!

What if we left this room
unprotected to lure them here?

- Then we attack from upstairs.
- Sure, why not.

They could set fire and smoke us out.

Yes, that's true.

Then we'll shoot without restraint.

That will surely dissuade them.

They'll wait

until we're out of cartridges
to massacre us.

Good point.

Give me a few minutes
to figure out the best tactic.

Put it up on the table. Hurry!

What are you doing?

We have to leave at once.

Leave?

You're not serious?

The horror that will strike
is unspeakable.

Those men are monsters...

savage beasts.

Farewell, Captain.

Hurry, hurry.

Help me barricade the door.

Be careful, it's dusty.
Don't get dirty.

Oh my god!

Come look!

I really didn't want to die today.

Come on, fire!

Much better.

Yes, please.

Keep going, keep going.

I'm so happy.

What a beautiful day!

Pure happiness and joy!

Captain.

Gentlemen.

- It's not really appropriate...
- Not at all.

But we wanted to ask...

It would seem that
our deadline was reached long ago...

You mean for your profits?

You're absolutely right.

The moment is totally inappropriate.

Ladies.

Captain.

What?

Invite me to dance.

Captain.

The Emperor orders us
to leave for Leipzig at once.

At once... You mean right now?

Show those Prussians who you are!

For the Captain!

Hip hip hurrah!

Don't go, you'll be killed.

What about honor and duty?
They mean nothing?

They're only words.

I want a husband who's alive.

Yes, but I'm Captain Neuville.

What are you going to do?

I'm going to kiss you.

- Will you write?
- Every day.

I promise!

What's he doing?