Recipe for Revenge (1998) - full transcript

[music playing]

BOB: Food in front ofme, and a beautiful babe,

big bad Bob feel's something.

I'll call it hungry.

Now, what was that, Carly?

Guess.

I don't know, it
was kind of fishy.

You're getting
warm, big bad Bob.

Hey, I get a lot
warmer than that.

I get hotter than a pistol,you just treat me right.

That was salmon
tartare on endive leaf,



with a dill garnish.

Now try this one.

Mm.

Folks, I tell you, itain't steak and potatoes,

but it ain't half bad.

A crab meat salad tartletwith a hint-- just a hint--

of tomato chili chutney.

Mm.

Honey, I'd eat your chutneyany day of the week.

And so can you folks, just enterthe contest and you could be

one of three lucky listenersto win a catered meal,

on the house, from
Carly's Creation's.

Tasty wholesome food for
that special occasion,

prepared exactly
the way you want



it by Carly Hunter herself.

Speaking of dishes, here
once more with the skill

in question, is that tastytartlet, Carly Hunter.

[music playing]

KID 1: Hey, check this out.

KID 2: Wait up.

That was a wicked move.

KID 1: Hey!

Look at this.

KID 2: Aww, man.

KID 1: Wicked!

KID 2: Oh, nice move.

KID 1: Oh, nice!

KID 2: Aww, man I never--

Could you, uh--

Could you, uh--

You!

Could you open the door for me?

Now!

There you go.

Thank you.

Yeah, whatever.

Ow, ow.

Are you--?

OK, be honest, how was I?

Did you get his autograph?

Very good.

You have a very good
voice for radio.

Did you get it?

Yes, yes.

Oh, oh, he's
something, that bad Bob.

Felix the lock-- the lock,you have to unlock here.

His voice, every
time I hear him speak

I get the feeling of a tingle.

What's he look like?

A warthog.

[SHOCKED] No!

I hear he's being sued
for sexual harassment.

MRS. KOSLINSKI: The man loveswomen, why is this a crime?

The issue is consent,
Mrs. K. Excuse me?

[laughs]

Have we met?

He's from the city, somethingabout a license, I don't know.

A license for what?

It's not a restaurant, sir.

This is my kitchen.

I cook here.

This facility is also usedfor commercial purposes?

No.

Dinner for a few
friends and neighbors.

I'm afraid it's gone beyonda few friends Miss Hunter.

We at the licensing bureaualso listen to the radio.

It's a giveaway.

It's a promotion.

And this is a viable
commercial enterprise.

And we will require aGH16/4HW/3 classification

F, which you can apply forat the city licensing bureau.

All right.

Well, how much?

$1,200, have a nice day.

[LAUGHING] What- twe--

What?

I don't have $1,200.

I don't have $12.

[sighs]

[phone ringing]

I should of stayed
at Francesco's.

Well, Francesco wouldtake you back in a flash.

Oh, yeah.

He'd love that, wouldn't he?

[MOCKING FRANCESCO] What
you think you don't need

me after all I've done for you?

You'll never survive
without Francesco.

He's right.

Who is it?

It's, uh, Sophie.

I would rather
run a hot dog stand.

Sophie?

SOPHIE: [inaudible]

Sophie?

Sophie, calm down.

Well you can't-- don't worry,you can't screw up veal

scallopini, it is idiot proof.

I don't understand.

I did everything you said.

This is not how
I traditionally

serve veal scallopini.

Yeah, I- I- I rolled it inthe flower, then I- then

I threw in the
veggies and stuff.

- After you browned the veal?- Browned?

Browned.

You mix olive oil
and butter, and you

cook the meat until it's brown?

And then you add the
basil and the stuff.

I thought you did
that at the end.

No.
No.

See, it's difficult to brownthe meat after it's been, uh--

Well, you didn't say that.

I just assumed you knew.

But you're right
sorry, I didn't.

It's 20 minutes.

He's going to be
here in 20 minutes.

I mean-- I- I made a wholebig deal about serving

him a home cooked meal.

He's going to
think I can't cook.

You can't cook.

All right.

OK.

Uh, you go and fix your hair.

Oh my god my hair!

I'll see what I can do.

[music playing]

OK.

Let's see what we got.

[laughs]

Holy chow.

Oh my god, Carly,
you are a genius.

What is it?

Linguine chinois
avec blue cheese sauce.

Now look, Sophie, whenwhat's his face arrives--

- Tobias.
- Tobias.

Just boil the water.

Mhm.

Cook the pasta,
add the butter--

- Mhm.
- --and the cheese.

Mhm.

Why, where are you going?

To rob a bank.

I'm 1,200 bucks short of aGH16/48W classification F.

No, Carly, please?

It's fine, just
add the dressing.

And listen, don't
forget to boil the water

before you cook the pasta.

No, Carly, you can't gobecause I'll get confused

and I'll just mess it all up.
I know I will.

It'll just be a big
disaster, please!

Shh, wait, wait,
confused about what?

[doorbell]

No, that's Tobias.

Carly, please, please, don't go.

I'll pay you.

How much?

Whatever you want.

OK, first things first.

Get a cocktail into him.

Cocktails, OK.

Carly, don't let him see you.

[groans]

It's a living--

SOPHIE: [laughs]

I'll just go give the
pasta a little stir.

TOBIAS: Here, let me help you.

No, no.

No.

No, uh, too many Cook's,
you know what they say.

You just finish your wine, and,uh, I'll be back in a flash.

[exhales]

[MOUTHS] Thank you.

OK, here we are.

[doorbell]

[doorbell]

Coming!

Chester?

What are you doing here?

CHESTER: Aren't you
going to invite me in?

CARLY: No, I am not.

I am going to ask you to
please leave my house,

and leave me alone.

CHESTER: Who's he?

Tobias Macneish,
Chester Winnifield.

TOBIAS: Hey, I've
seen you on TV.

You're the sex therapist.

That's right.

TOBIAS: What are you doing here?

Actually that's
none of your business,

and if you wouldn't
mind running along,

Sophie and I have a few thingswe'd like to talk about.

No, Chester, we
have nothing to talk

about because we're through.

Sophie, please, do
not humiliate yourself.

After all the work we've beenthrough, nurturing your self

image, here you are
once again declaring

yourself unfit for love.

I am fit for love,Chester, just not with you.

You are so close
to being healed,

I don't want to let you slideback into self loathing.

The only person I loathehere is you, now get out!

You heard her.

Nobody ever leaves me, Sophie.

I told you that.

[gunshots]

How do you know
it was Winnifield?

Well, I saw him.

You know him personally?

Everybody knows him.

He's Got a TV show andbooks and professor passion.

Did you know that he andMiss Weston had been involved?

No.

But I did know that she wantedto impress Tobias-- um, Tobias.

I was hiding here
in the kitchen.

I don't understand.

[laughs]

She wanted him to think
that she was cooking

like Cyrano de Bergerac.

That's not a real person.

I know.

So Tobias falls in
love with your cooking

and thinks it's miss Weston?

All right.

You're sure thatWinnifield didn't see you?

He would have shot me too.

OK.

I'm going to have
someone drive you home.

I saw it.

I didn't do anything.

I just watched.

[SOFTLY] Hey, don't do that.

Don't blame yourself.

You did the only thing
you could have done.

OK?

CARLY: I'm OK, honestly,
thank you very much.

You've been very kind.

You're welcome.

Thanks officer

No problem.

Do you want some tea?

Yes please.

You should have seen!

There was this great newsFlash, and then they said

Sophie Westin and the address.

And then I said to Felix,isn't that where Carly is?

ELLIOT: Uh, Mrs. K.

Yes?

No.

Yes, of course.

Of course.

You poor darling.

You need a little pick me up.

A little drop of gin, huh?

Th-- Thank you Elliott.

Here-- I saw some
linguine in the fridge,

do you want me to heat it up?- No.

Thank you.

Would you mind just
sitting here with me

a little bit before you go home?

Sure, yeah.

Of course.

I didn't do anything.

I just stood there.

Of course I knew her.

She was a client of
mine for three years.

Were you also lovers?

She loved me.

I'm afraid it wasn't mutual.

It's an occupational hazard.

Were you intimate?

No.

She had a profound
self-image problems.

But she was making progress.

And where were you
tonight Dr. Winnifield?

The clinic.

By yourself?

With a client.

And her name?

Miss Jeffreys.

Just the two of you then?

My assistant was there.

Miss Lansbury?

Yes.

Do you often work at night?

I try not to, but missJeffreys is a new patient,

she wanted to see me, so Itried to accommodate her.

And where did you
go after the clinic?

Came straight home,
poured myself a scotch,

turned on the news, andfound out about poor Sophie.

Do you have any ideawho might have done this?

No.

Why would anybody
want to kill Sophie?

Well, it's usually
either money--

Or love.

Or love.

Well, I think that's it.

Thank you for your time.

Thank you.

Oh, um, you said
her name was Jeffreys?

Ida.

Ida.
OK, great.

Thank you.

TV REPORTER: This car wasseen parked outside the Westin

house, and here in
this WNKW exclusive

we can see the
driver of that car,

believed to be Carly
Hunter herself,

being led away from themurder scene by city police.

However sources close to
Sergeant Jack Brannigan

continue to claim
the cut rate caterer

is not the prime suspect.

The cut rate caterer--

it's started already.

Wait 'til they find
out about Winnifield.

Winnifield's story check out?

Yeah.

He says that he was at
his clinic 'til 9:30.

Confirmed by his personalassistant Allison Lansbury, who

was also there, so she says.

Now her logbook confirms thesession with Ida Jeffreys.

Do you think he's sleepingwith either of them?

I tell you-- I'd say
Ida Jefferies for sure.

But Lansbury is an
old flame, I mean,

I think they'd say
anything he wanted.

But their stories hold?

Yeah, so far.

Five bullets fired, .38
caliber, all recovered.

Now Winnifield owned
a gun, but reported

it stolen two years ago.

A .38.

And we've got his palm printsall over the Westin house.

But he and Sophie did someof their therapy sessions

there, right?

Oh, come on, jack.

Give me a motive.

This is Chester Winnifield.

He can have any woman he wants.

Except Sophie Westin,
according to what

Carly Hunter overheard.

So Sophie dumps him, andhis ego couldn't take it?

Maybe he thought it
was bad for business.

No one saw him enter
or leave the house.

We have no weapon.

We have an eyewitness.

Who admits to being
in the house when

the murder was being committed.

Who had a reason to be there.

Who called the police.

Who has offered to cooperatein any way that she can.

What else do we
know about her?

She did the Cordon
Bleu course in Paris.

Worked in France for
a couple of years,

came back here and got a job asa pastry chef at Francesco's.

I love Francesco's.

Anyway she, uh, left,
uh, had a falling out

and started her own
catering company.

Married?

Single, no kids.
Lonely type?

Solitary?

Everyone that I
talk to liked her.

Except Francesco, but
he's been in business

ever since she left.

Plain-Jane?

Femme fatale?

I see.

Pretty girl.

Just keep an open mind Jack.

Always.

Jack?

It's going to be her
word against his.

If I go into court againstChester Winnifield,

I do not intend to
be made a fool of.

I know, I know.

So this is the first
time you saw him?

I told you.

In person, yes.

You were never
a client of his?

No.

No personal
connection whatsoever?

No.

Would you consider
Sophie a close friend?

No, not really.

I catered some business
functions for her.

I liked her.

Strictly business then?

What else?

I don't know,
what else is there?

Nothing.

What are you getting
at detective?

My problem with
Miss Jeffrey's story

is that there's no record of hercalling you from her apartment

last night.

Maybe she used a cell phone?

Hm.

But if she was at home why wouldyou call you on a cell phone?

More to the point,
why would she lie?

And why would I lie?

I don't know.

Unless, of course, I shotSophie and Mr. Macneish.

That would be a reason, yes.

Chester I remind you
you're here voluntarily,

you don't have to answer.

But why would I kill them?

Because she dumped you.

Oh come on, Jack, ifyou want to go fishing get

a boat and a bucket of worms.

Why exactly did you
leave Francesco's?

Because he used
cheap ingredients,

and he charged too much,and he didn't pay me enough.

And what the hell does
he have to do with this?

I understand you
threatened him?

No, it wasn't a threat.

I smacked him with
a cheese grater.

How long have you
had a gun license?

20 years.

You ever buy a gun?

Once in 1991, it was a .38.

HENRY: You know that gunwas stolen two years ago?

I know that it
was reported stolen.

Have you ever owned a gun?

No.

I wouldn't know how to use one.

You don't honestly believethat I shot them, do you?

And Chester Winnifield
is a murderer.

Did you know that there wasno weapon found at the scene?

Oh, don't tell me.

They were shot with a .38?

All right, that's enough.

You offered to help
in any way you can,

and now he's trying
to incriminate you

without a shred of evidence.

Henry, they have
an eyewitness.

Somebody who saw thewhole thing, and now she's

blaming me.

He has an alibi.

Well he's lying.

He's too cool.

What about this eyewitness?

Relax.

He's yanking my chain,
it's psychology 101.

Oh, god.
There's a mob out there.

Let's go the back way.

Henry?

I've got nothing to hide.

OK.

Don't speak to the media.

Don't talk about this to anyone.

In fact the best thing ofall would be to lay low.

It's hard to cook
when you're laying low.

I'll arrange for
non-listed number.

I can't have an
unlisted number,

I run a business
out of my apartment.

JACK: Maybe you should put yourbusiness on hold for a while.

What?

No, I'm sorry.

I just got this
thing off the ground,

if I put it on hold I
can kiss it good bye.

Hi.
- Who's he?

Elliot Saunders, my neighbor.

You live in the building?

Across the hall.

OK.

I'll be in touch.

No, no, no.

Go out the back way, come on.

Maybe I should take home.

No, I'm fine.

Thank you.

FEMALE REPORTER: What about thewoman who was in the apartment?

Is it true that she'saccusing you of the murders?

[interposing voices]

My understanding is
that she is a caterer

who was cooking for Sophie.

Now, whether there was somethingmore to this relationship,

or how and involved me I--

FEMALE REPORTER: There she is--

[interposing voices]

HENRY: Chester, I
advise against this.

CHESTER: Henry, duly noted.

Don't do it

FEMALE REPORTER: Are
you Carly Hunter?

MALE REPORTER: Did
Winnifield know that you

and Sophie were lovers?

FEMALE REPORTER:
Was it a threesome?

What about the bloody glove?

CHESTER: Miss Hunter.

Chester Winnifield.

I know who you are.

Why won't you shake his hand?

FEMALE REPORTER: Yeah, whywon't she shake your hand, doc?

The police say
you saw something?

You know what I saw.

No, I don't.

Why are you blaming me?

Don't you think we shouldbe helping one another?

Eugh!

CHESTER: If we help
one another we could

get to the bottom of this, if--

For anybody who read mysecond book, Fear of Fantasy--

Follow me.

Come on.

OK.

Let me go first.

OK.

Step up, Carly.

Come on.

This way.

In here.

What-- what is-- where are we?

In the attic.

In the attic?

[laughs]

It's--

CHESTER: It's OK.

Wow.

Is this what you do when
you can't pay the rent?

Yeah, something like that.

Cool.

I'm a cool kind of guy.
Yeah.

Yeah.

[laughs]

All clear.

All right Thank you verymuch, I really appreciate this.

Scoot.

[sighs]

[music playing]

ANSWERING MACHINE:
You have 25 messages.

BOB: Carly, my little
tartlet, bad news

is our three contest
winners all pulled out

'cause of this murder business.

But there's no such
thing as bad press.

SID: Carly, it's Sid Harrisfrom the Harris agency.

It's crucial we talk
ASAP in terms of putting

together a complete package.

LONNIE: Carly, this is LonnieGeffan, I'm a defense attorney.

You've probably
seen me on Heraldo.

BELL: Carly, this is BellGiddlesone, we, uh, in terms

of dinner next Friday,
we, uh, well we may

be going to Florida, and, uh--

well, we'll be in touch.

MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Sugar,
spice, and everything

nice go in to cookies and cake.

Also do fibs and dirty liesdo a dead caterer make.

Remember, Carly, you
can run, you can hide,

but you can't get away from me.

ELLIOT: Carly?

[gasps]

Jesus, Elliot, don'tsneak up on me like that.

I'm sorry I--

I just wanted to see
if you were all right.

I heard that.

It's a crank.

They'll call
somebody else tomorrow.

ELLIOT: That is ridiculous,and you know it.

Listen, Elliot, if I call thepolice they're going to put me

under wraps until
God knows when,

and everything that I workedfor will just go up in smoke.

Things will change.

Then move in with me.

I m-- I don't mean--

for now, at least I
can take care of you,

and you can run Carly'screations from next door--

That's very sweet
of you, Elliott.

But they haven't driven meout of here, not yet anyway.

OK, I understand.

The offer is always open.

You are so cool.

[laughs]

But it's probably somepsycho fan of Winnifield's

just trying to scare me off.

It's-- don't worry.

I'm going to be fine, OK?

Well, I'll uh--

I'll just be across the hall.

If you need me just holler.

Help!

[laughs]

Like that?

That would do it.

OK.

Bye.

And you've, uh,
checked into all of this

with a fine toothed comb?

There were four people in herapartment when Sophie called.

They all confirm her story.

So she's got her
alibi and he's got his.

Look, I believe her.

I know you do.

So do you.

So give me something
or I can't charge him.

Thought I'd takeanother shot at Lansbury.

The long suffering
ex-mistress?

If she's lying to
protect him that makes

her accessory double homicide.

Oh, well, she's not
going to betray him.

Not if she's still
under his spell.

Maybe she won't be if she'spersuaded that he really loved

Sophie enough to kill her.

Hell hath no fury.

Something like that.

Jack if you're
wrong about this--

I know, I know.

I'll be pounding
the beat in Dubuque.

Just be careful.

Thanks.

MRS. KOSLINSKI: Yoo-hoo!

- Mm.
- Mrs. K?

MRS. KOSLINSKI: Hm?

Try this.

Mm, mm, needs sugar.

Do you have another
beer, darling?

It's a lemon sauce,it's supposed to be tart.

Hey, come here.

A shocking turn of
events in the Westin

Macneish double murder.

After two weeks of intensivequestioning police today

arrested and charged
Dr. Chester Winnifield

with two counts of murder one.

The best selling author,TV star, and sex therapist

was taken into
custody at his Forest

Hills mansion just moments ago.

Now the key to his
arrest was this woman,

Allison Lansbury,Winnifield's one time paramour

and longtime assistant.

Last night Lansbury agreed toturn state's witness in return

for immunity after
police confronted her

with phone records, whichsuggested she had been

lying to protect Winnifield.

Well it was enough for thepeople's primo crime buster

Violet Spiri who decided toput Professor Passion on ice.

Now the key to--
- That's you.

TV REPORTER: --this whole caseremains Carly hunter, former

pastry chef at Francesco's.

Infamous grazing ground
of the demimonde.

But just who is
this saucy spinster?

This cut rate caterer--
- Cut rate?

TV REPORTER: --who's
testimony might get

Professor Passion fast fried.

While some have linked herromantically to both Winnifield

and the late lamentedSophie, whatever her motive,

it's Hunter herself
who will soon

be on the grill as Winnifieldassembles his legal dream team.

I thought you said you andSophie were just friends?

Mrs. K?

It's lies, they're just
making this stuff up.

Don't apologize, my dear.

I know-- my cousin, she
was quite the tomboy,

but a very nice person.

Boy could she hit a baseball!

[ANGRILY] What?

Ms Hunter?

This is detective Brannigan.

Way to go, Jack, you got him.

How'd you do it?

The wheel, the rack?

Flinstone reruns.

Huh-oh you have
a cruel streak.

Actually I just remindedher that lying to protect

the murder would
make her an accessory

and liable to the death
penalty if convicted.

But I didn't press thepoint, I was very polite.

Good manners are always aplus, my mom always said.

So he's in jail?
- At the moment, yes.

Tomorrow's the bail hearing.

OK, he's not getting out?

Not likely, no.

Well that's good, 'causeI've already lost 4 gigs.

I was verbally abused by sixof his fans at the supermarket

yesterday, and my
tires were slashed.

On the other hand I was invitedto a womyn's weekend retreat

in Wisconsin, that's womanwith a "Y," me, Ellen, KD.

Well, that's nice.

I said no thank you.

Are you feeling OK?

Maybe you should talk toone of the psychologists?

No, I'm fine, thank you.

Now with Winnifield in jail
I'm feeling much better.

There's still the trial.

I'm going to testify.

I said I would, don't worry.

Oh no, no.

I just meant that, you know,if there was anything that I--

I mean we-- the,
uh, police can do--?

I'm fine, thank you detective.

OK.

Counselor?

Your honor, counsel's
motion to deny bail

is truly vindictive.

This is a ridiculous
witch hunt brought

on by the hysterical delusionsof one, alleged, eyewitness.

But that fact notwithstanding,I can guarantee your honor

the doctor Winnifield
will not flee.

Not only because he
has no reason to flee,

but because he
would never abandon

his practice or the peoplewho depend upon him.

Now I urge the court
to set the doctor

free on his own recognizance.

Ms Spiri?

Your honor, flight is
not the only issue here.

It's obvious that the
defendant has been using

the media to intimidate
our key witness

and prevent her from testifying.

We feel that this is furtherreason to deny the defendant

bail at this time.

Mr. Green?

Oh, your honor, nothing couldbe further from the truth.

The public is outraged andthey can hardly be blamed.

In fact this alleged eyewitnesswould be in real trouble

if Dr. Winnifield had
not repeatedly urged

the public to remain calm.

JUDGE: Thank you Mr. Green.

The court acknowledges thecharge of multiple homicide

is very grave, indeed.

But the court is inclinedto agree with defense,

that doctor Winnifield
poses no danger

and is no threat to flee.

Bail is set at $250,000.

Good job.

I told you cupcake, there'sno such thing as bad press.

I thought you said
everyone cancelled?

They did.

So I just put a little
different spin on it.

BOB: [ON RECORDING]
She was dishing up

a scallopini when
poor Sophie and Toby

went down for the count.

Now Professor Passion issaying it's not just her yams

that are fried to a crisp.

Are you curious?

Scared?

Is this the hot pepperyour party needs to sizzle?

Enter now, and you
too could spend

an evening with the celebritychef everybody's talking about.

Gee, Bob, that so goodI almost forgot two people

were murdered.

All this in just three days.

And 90% of them from thetoniest addresses in town.

Honey, you're radicalchic for about 15 minutes.

So if I were you, I'd becashing in while I could.

And it just gets better.

Sometimes I think I'm blessed.

What?

Bad Bob here boys and
girls, and this just in,

Professor Passion's out onbail, and I'm with you know who.

That's right, the yummyhamster herself, Carly Hunter.

Ready to divulge her deepestdoubts, her darkest despair.

Come on Carly, honey,spill your gorgeous guts.

[interposing voices]

Come on.

God, they replicate.

Can't you just shoot them?

They don't die, they mutate.

Look, is there
some other way in?

Yeah, turn left at
this corner right here.

CARLY: Elliot, are you home?

Uh, yeah.

You remember
detective Brannigan?

Mhm.

JACK: Hi.

So did you hear?

Winnifield got bail.

He did?

Who else knows about this?

- Nobody
- Good.

Let's keep it that way.

That looks good.

You shouldn't be so rude,Elliott's been a big help.

Oh, has he?

CARLY: Oh my god.

Never try to tell a lie,when we know it isn't true,

or you'll find out the hardway how to make a caterer blue.

[ringing]

Yeah, it's Brannigan here.

Listen I'm with Carly
Hunter in her apartment.

There's been a break in.

I want forensics
out here right away.

Yeah, and tell the DA
that we need to talk.

Witness protection?

VIOLET: It allows us
to keep an eye on you

between now and the trial.

Oh.

That's all?

There will be a
few, uh, adjustments.

Yeah?

Such as?

We'll, uh, move you to anothercity and change your name.

[scoffs]

Oh, that's all?
[laughs]

ELLIOT: Just for a few months.

You'll have a bodyguard.

Oh, goody.

A partner for double solitaire.

VIOLET: It's not as bad
as it sounds, Ms Hunter.

My business?

Think of it as a
well-earned vacation.

Well I can't afford
a vacation, Ms Spiri.

VIOLET: If you don't testify,we don't have a case.

I know that.

So let's try and be creative.

What does that mean?

I'm not moving to
another city and I'm

not going to change my name.

I'm not giving up my business.

What about the creative part?

I'm getting to that.

I locked myself out
of here one night,

couldn't get that
thing open to save my--

Sorry, you were,
uh, you was saying?

Who else has a key besides you?

No one.

I mean, besides the super.

Mrs. Koslinski?

What about your boyfriend?

Well, I don't
have a boyfriend.

What about, uh, what'shis name across the hall?

Elliot?
No, no.

I mean, he doesn't have a key.

Now that's a brand new lock.State of the art.

I want you to log
every call, in and out.

Why don't you put a tap
on the phone, detective?

I already have.

But nothing is more accuratethan personal observation.

Name, time, and purpose of call.

The lock?

Needs an iron grate.

No iron grate.

This is better.

Hungry?

No.

My breasts!
What?

Don't touch my breasts!

Hey, I didn't go near you.

Not me, silly.

My chicken breasts.

Special recipe.

Mm.

The secret is cumin--

[door creaks]

--and lemon wash.

Lighten up, detective.

Freeze!

[screams] Police!

He's got a gun!

[screams]

He's got a gun!

He's got a gun!

Stop it!

He is the police.

Who is she?

My sister.

You're sure?

Put the gun down.

How can you tell?

What is he doing here?

He's a bodyguard.

Detective jack Brannigan.

Then why was he
touching your breasts?

Hey, I was not
touching her breasts.

It was the-- the chicken.

Oh my god.

What?

You look terrible.

Oh, sweetie.

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

All right.

Listen, listen.

I want you to know
that whatever went

on between you and Sophie--

Nothing went on
between me and Sophie!

All right.
OK.

In any case, mom wants you toknow that she still loves you.

Alma!

And so do I.

Where's Stanley?

Who's Stanley?

[ANGRILY] Don't mention
his name around me.

Not now not ever.
- Oh, lord.

Who's Stanley?

A beast.

Her husband.

You have a husband?

Jack.

Sorry.

If you don't mind, my sisterand I would like to talk.

Go ahead.

In private.

I'm staying right here.

What?

That's the deal, remember?

The creative part.

Instead of witness
protection you get

a bodyguard around the clock.

I don't think I need youractual body in this apartment.

Oh, I'm sorry, that
was my understanding.

And that's the deal.

Children, children.

It's a lovely body,
and I don't think

we need to quarrel over it.

That's him!

He broke in, I saw
it on the video.

You're right, he--
he's the one they

call the dangerous offender.Don't shoot!

Oh my god.

Help!

[interposing voices]

Stop, stop.
He's the police.

He's what?

Detective Brannigan.

I-- I'm going to
replace the locks.

Better you give me themoney and Felix can do it.

Uh, I don't think
so, if you don't mind.

Carly, I just saw Winnifieldon extreme close up.

He says you're
suffering from isolation

and abandonment syndrome.

He offered to treat you.

Oh, you poor dear.

The only thing I'msuffering from is Winnifield.

Ms Hunter, I can't protect youif anybody can just walk right

in here any time they want.

This isn't just anybody.

These are my neighbors,
they're my friends.

Well, that's going
to have to change.

Excuse me.

Everyone, I'd really appreciateit if you could just leave.

[interposing voices]

Hello?

Is there any other kind?

Hello!

Everybody out, let's go!

I'm sorry.

Just this time,
if you don't mind.

Carly, if there's
anything I can do--

She's fine.

Thanks, Elliot.

Excuse me, thank you.

Goodbye.

Yes, thank you.

Thank you very much.

Where's she going to stay?

The sofa.

No, no, no, no.

I'm staying on the sofa.

No, no, no, no--

406 is empty, she
could stay there.

It's right across the hall.

Felix get the keys.

She's my sister,
she's staying here.

Period.

I'm staying here.

That's the deal, all right?

No more negotiating.

Come on.

[music playing]

I found a number in his pocketfor the hot cake hot-line.

I thought it was one ofthose fast food franchises

that he was investing in.

And then I get mistress
Helga on the line.

You know she's got one
of those telephones

where you can see the name ofthe person who's calling in?

Mhm.

Well she's a minute
into her routine

before she figures
out I'm not Stanley.

And I don't want a hot cake.

He's a beast.

Hey, at least it
was just on the phone.

What?

Carly, it's the lying
that hurts the most.

I mean what else
has he been up to?

The bridge of trust
has been burned.

Anyway, momma wanted
me to come up here

and see how you were doing.

Oh, I'm fine.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

It's just the way the mediatwists everything around

like Winnifield's thevictim and I'm the bad guy,

and nobody gives a damn
about Sophie and Tobias.

Listen, mom worries
about you being alone.

Well, tell her that I'vegot my own personal bodyguard.

Should I tell her he's
got the hots for you?

Brannigan?

[scoffs]

[MOCKING] Brannigan?

Oh, did you see the way hewent all gooey when you pouted?

Gooey?

Christ, so serious.

He has got a
serious crush on you.

For all we know he's probablymarried, he's got 14 kids.

Oh, no.
He's single.

I can spot a single
guy at 50 paces.

Really?

Wooh!

[laughing]

No, it's great.

It's terrific.

Thanks, Bob.

I get to go shopping.

All right, I'll go with you.

QT radio just announced
the first winner

to the free catering
contest, and the winner

is Cidra Rejeeve.

Oh, um, who's that?

She's with Neumann and Fisk.

Of the add agency.

Very big, very tony.

She wants a runningbuffet, with hors d'oeuvres

and California wine.

Oh that's good, uh, you
can do the cooking here,

we'll send it over with
one of my officers.

What?

When you're up they're
just going to have

to serve food and drinks?

You said it was
a buffet right,

they can serve themselves.

No, no, no, jack,
that's not how it works.

I go with the food,
that's the deal.

And Elma can help me serve.

You're going to have to cancel

What?

Look, it's too
risky, all right?

We don't know the house.

We don't know who's
going to be there.

After the trial
you can reschedule.

OK, you're joking, right?

Look, if I have
to I'll call the DA

and I'll you formally
subpoenaed and ordered

into witness protection.

[sobbing]

Wha-- what are you doing?

Oh no, no, no, don't cry.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, please.

Ms. Hunter?

I can't believe
you're doing this to me.

I have to protect
you, it's my job.

Please don't cry, I'm sorry.

Ms Hunter?

Maybe we can
work something out.

Yeah?

OK, OK.

[sobs]

Anything dangerous out there?

Yeah, 10 female add executiveswithout their husbands.

Well, Well, see how
the worm has turned.

Right.

Detective Brannigan?

You look marvelous.

[women whooping]

[screams]

The tongs, the tongs.

Quick.
The tongs.

What happened?

WOMAN: Watch it you big lunk!

JACK: It's OK, I got it.

WOMAN: That's not a canape.

JACK: There.

Where was that?

Don't ask.

Oh my god.

She told me to
put it in her mouth.

Somehow I missed.

She moved her head,
on purpose, I swear.

CARLY: Can we help you?

Uh, I have a request
from my guests.

What can we do for you?

[whispers inaudibly]

I don't think that
would be a problem.

Well, I'll tell the ladies.

Take your shirt off.

No, no way.

It's your own fault, Jack.

Oh, my fault?

Ah.

You dumped those pastriesdown that woman's dress

and now you've goteveryone hot and bothered.

Forget it, I'm no
going back in there.

What's the big deal?

Just undo a few buttons.

Excuse me, listen, Idraw the line at stripping.

OK?

Now, you know what, that's it?

I quit.

Str-- stripping?

Who said anything
about stripping?

A couple of buttons, Jack.

You got to give them
whatever they want.

Fine, you take your shirt off.

It's not me they want.

It's you.

Those manly arms,
those powerful biceps--

Hey.

--that broad back.

Oh, come on.

J-- Just one.

Stop it.

OK, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Listen.

I refuse to go back in there.

Do you understand me?

- Yeah.
- Hey that's it.

Stop-- stop it.
Come on.

What's the matter with you?

Don't.

No, no.

Don't pout, OK?

It's not going to work.

I'm a strugglingbusinesswoman trying to make

my way in a cruel world, Jack.

I need you.

Yes, you do.

So let's be creative.

What does that mean?

Number one, you start
taking the seriously.

Who says I don't?

Number two, no more usingyour apartment as a clubhouse.

Just because I
have friends drop--

Nobody.

Nobody goes in or out
unless I know about it.

And number three, Alma
moves out and I move in.

- Alma stays.
- Alma goes.

- She stays!
- She goes.

Stays.

[women chanting jack]

An iron grate on the
living room window.

How are we doing?

The natives are
getting very restless.

Deal.

Ha.

[women chanting]

[women whooping]

[stove timer]

WOMAN: [LOVINGLY] Jack.

My god.

They're barracudas.

WOMAN: [ANGRILY] Jack!

Where's the canape tray?

They don't want canapes.

They want me.

They want the full monty.

Well, that's fine.

We can switch to asparagusspears wrapped in prosciutto.

So you don't get burned.

I have a better idea.

I think I'm going to
cool them off a little.

No!

Don't--

[women whistle and whoop]

[laughing]

Carly, darling, do youhave any chocolate syrup?

No!

No.

But I do have some cognacI used for the salad.

No!

[screams]

Jack!

Get it-- put it-- get a--

[fire alarm beeping]

[radio chatter]

Jack, you can light
my fire anytime.

[laughs sarcastically]

Don't say a word.

How the hell am I
going to write this up?

There you are, dear.

Thank you.

Uh, I'm sorry about--

about everything.

Oh, don't mention it.

[laughs]

Really.

So-- so you're not--

you're not married?

Hey, I thought I heard
you two guys in here.

Why is he naked?

He's half-naked.

And it's a long story.

Yeah.

I, uh, I should get going.

I'm all ears

Carly, I told you I wantedto see the mail first.

This was in the mailbox?

Yeah- I-- I don't know,
Elliot brought it up.

Elliot has a key
to your mailbox?

Yes, because I forgetsometimes, and it gets full

and the mailman can't get
that little door shut.

Who else has a key?

Mrs. K.

What's wrong?

Don't-- touch it.

One, two, three, four,someone's knocking at the door.

Five, six, seven, eight,death and Carly have a date.

OFFICER: Let's go.

What is going on?

Ask your friend.

Aw, Jack, come on.

Stay inside,
I'll be back later.

What did he do?

Nothing.

OFFICER: Come on.

JACK: How long have
you known Winnifield?

I don't know him.

Elliot, please.

I took courses from himlike 10,000 other people.

Not quite.

You were one of his
research assistants.

You took part in
several of his studies.

It paid for the courses.

Right.

The courses.

Interpersonal dysfunction.

Me and 200 other people.

Look, I'm shy.

OK?

It's hard to meet
girls if you're shy.

Not if they live
across the hall.

A workshop on overcoming
sexual anxieties?

It's not what you think.

I blush.

I-- I get clammy palms.

I mean, I used to--

Winnifield, he was a big help.

Made me feel less self-consciousand realized, you know,

other people were nervous too.

Oh, oh.

So that's why you kept in touch.

It's a follow up
service at the clinic.

So you keep your confidence up.

That's all.

It's not a cult.

You manage a
children's bookstore.

Right.

Lots of, uh, limericks
and rhymes, right?

You think I'mthreatening Carly, right?

Because I'm the geekyneighbor across the hall.

Well, you want to know
what I think, detective?

I think you're hassling mebecause you are the one who

has the hots for her.

And that's why you don't
like us being friends.

I'm in your way.

My, god.

A birthday party
for a nine-year-old?

Honey, all they're going towant is hot dogs and cola's.

Well, that just wouldn'tdo Christopher Hodges III,

would it?

What did they even
enter contest for?

Because it's free.

You know what daddy would say.

BOTH: [MOCKING] How
do you think they

got rich in the first place?

I asked you to keep
this door locked.

We, um, released Elliot.

Really?

I'm surprised you didn't
hang him on the spot.

Elliot, I am so sorry.

I don't want to talk to you.

[exhales]

Look.

He had access to thisapartment and your mailbox.

He was involved with
the Winnifield clinic

and, in my opinion, he hasvery strong feelings for you.

Oh well, in my opinion,
he's a very good friend.

And there was no need foryou to bully him like that.

You know, I'm trying to
do the right thing here.

So far it's cost me myprivacy and my reputation,

and now it's costing
me my friends.

All because of a couple ofletters and some crank calls.

Letters?

Le-- those were death threats.

Look, you know,
if you would just

go in the witness protectionwe wouldn't have to worry.

No, you wouldn't
have to worry.

I wouldn't have a life.

On the other hand,
if I didn't testify

I wouldn't have to
worry about anything.

No.

No you wouldn't, which isexactly what Winnifield wants.

I have not had time to
do a complete security

check on the Hodges house.

I'm going to need
another 24 hours.

It's a birthday party
for a nine-year-old.

His birthday is today.

That's where I'm going.

With or without my bodyguard.

[yelling]

[interposing voices]

What is this crap?

It's a burger.

Uh, Vietnamese style, sort of.

It's crap, that's what it is.

I want a burger and fries.

Well this is the food
that your parents chose,

Christopher.

I don't care my parents.

My parents are crap.

OK.

[sighs]

Could I borrow your gun?

Hey, burgers, dogs, fries--

Don't you start.

I could pick some
up down the street.

No, because the Hodges werevery specific about their menu.

They're not even here.

Ugh, let me help, OK?

I'm good with kids.

No!

Just stay out of it.

[kids yelling]

Hey, hey, hey!

Kids--

[interposing voices]

Get off of him.

We're here to have fun.

Now no fighting, OK?

Where are the burgers?

I told you those are
way better than burgers.

[kids laughing]

Pelt the maid!

[kids laughing and yelling]

Oops, sorry.

I can see that you're sorry.

So much for the food.

- I'm hungry.
- Tough.

OK, I guess I'll
have to eat dirt.

Christopher.

I have to eat something.

Christopher?

[screams]

KID: Get her, get her!

Get away from me!

[kids laughing]

Happy birthday.

Do you know what this is?

I got one of those too.

At the joke store.

[laughs]

206 here, detective Brannigan.

Great actor.

I'm at 311 Seaton Street.

I have a juvenile in custody.

I've got obstructing justiceand disturbing the peace.

FEMALE DISPATCHER: [ON RADIO]Roger 206, please advise.

I'm going to try and
sort this out myself,

but you better stand by
to notify Juvie Hall.

FEMALE DISPATCHER:
[ON RADIO] Roger 206.

Do you know what disturbingthe peace is, Christopher?

Obstructing justice?

No?

Well, a smart alec like you?

Well, that's OK.
You know what?

They'll explain
it all to you when

we take you down to Juvie hallyou know what Juvie hall is,

don't you?

It's prison for bad little boyswho don't do what they're told.

Are you reading me, Christopher?

[sigh]

They're opening presents.

Everything under control?

They're afraid to speak.

[laughs]

That's great.

See, I told you,
I'm good with kids.

Ah ha.

So are you that nice with women?

Ah, even nicer.

It's hard to imagine.

I know Hey, I'm just
an old fashioned guy.

No kidding.

Excuse me.

This here--

Was that OK?

Um, yeah.
Um, felt OK.

Um, Carly um--

I don't think that--

you know, we should--

What is going on here?

Mr. Hodges, you're--
you're back early.

Is this your idea
of suitable behavior

in front of young children?

It's him.

He was going to shoot me.

You threatened my son?

I exercised appropriate
adult authority,

he was out of control.

They were getting
a little restless.

And she tried to make useat all this foreign junk.

I told you I wanted properfood for these children.

Well, see, they
wanted hot dogs.

And you specifically saidno hot dogs, no hamburgers,

and no French fries.

Don't tell me what I said.

I know what I said.

Hey, hey, hey.
Just-- just relax.

And don't-- keep
your hands off of me.

Smash him, dad.

Look, I want you to apologizeto this boy right now.

For what?

I'm Warning you.

Apologize!

That would only be reinforcinghis delinquent behavior.

No.

Smash him, dad.

Oh!

My hand hurts.

Dad?

Shut up!

Mm, delicious.

Delicious.

What's that sauce they use?

It's, uh, ketchup, mustard,and mayo squished together.

Oh.

I'll tell you, can't beat it.

Can't beat it.

Do you think he meant it?

What, about suing?

Yeah.

I'm sure he did.

But I think his lawyer
will talk him out of it.

Given the facts, hisson's behavior, the rat--

[sighs]

The fact that he more orless punched himself out.

[laughs]

Well that's your
word against his.

Hey, I've got an eye witness.

No.

No?
[laughs]

Yes I do.

I'll tell you, some kidsshould be drowned at birth.

That's a little harsh.

You think?

Yeah.

I take it you don't have any?

Nope.

Dedicated bachelor, huh?

Actually I'm divorced.

Oh, I'm-- I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to pry.

No, that's-- that's OK.

Mm.

It was a long time ago.

I was too wrapped up in my job.

So you-- you like being a cop?

Yeah, I love it.
You know?

Mhm.

And everything's real
and everything matters.

Mhm, right.

It's like the whole
city is your family.

We're all connected,whether you like it or not.

You have a--

Oh, no.

OK.

Did I get it?

Um.

[music playing]

[laughs]

[knocking]

Come on, would you let me in?

I know you're in there.
- Freeze!

Hey, hey you don't stand, bud.

Oof!

[gasps]

What are you doing here?
- You know him?

He's my husband.
Arrest him.

STANLEY: Alma, baby, please,I just want to talk to you.

ALMA: You broke my heart.

Six years of trust and fidelity,gone, like dust in the wind.

MRS KOSLINSKI: That's
him, the killer!

Felix, hit him!

STANLEY: Don't hit me.

I didn't kill anybody.

I just want to talk to my wife.

Does it mean to say
you have to scream

at the top of your lungs?

Forgive me, Alma.

I beg you.

I'll never do it again.They didn't mean anything to me.

They?I thought it was just one.

You're the only one I love.

Please come back to me.

Get up, Stanley.

You look ridiculous.

Get up.

If you're staying
over there, is it OK

if Stanley stays here with me?- No.

What?

She's not staying with you?

He's not staying with you.

He can stay with Felix.

I don't want to
stay with Felix.

I want to stay with my wife.

And who the hell are you anyway?

ALMA: Carly's bodyguard.

[phone ringing]

[beep]

Yeah?

MYSTERIOUS VOICE: [ONPHONE] Begonias are blue.

Blood runs red.

The doctor will live,
the chef will be dead.

Who is it?

[beep]

It's a wrong number.

All right, I want
everyone out of here.

Except for Carly.

You two, sleep in my room.

Don't argue!

Just go.

Just leave your door open.

Well, you bet I will.

[laughs]

Goodnight.

And where are you
planning on sleeping?

Right here, right by the door.

OK.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

It was just Stanley.

Oh, I know, it
was only Stanley.

I know.

Goodnight.

I'm taking myself of this case.

What?

I've become
emotionally involved,

and it's affecting
my performance.

I see.

And which aspect of yourperformance is it affecting?

[scoffs]

OK.

I let her dress
me up as a waiter.

All right?

I did a striptease
at a dinner party.

I nearly busted this 9-year-oldkid at his own birthday party.

I-- last night--

last night I almost shot
someone because I wasn't

where I was supposed to be.

What's your point?

Point--?

My point is that I am notexercising my best judgment,

and it's jeopardizing
her security.

I see.

All right, just, you know,get someone else, Violet.

No.

[sigh]

If I take you off the
case it may spook her,

and then she may
refuse to testify.

And getting her butt
in the witness stand

is what this is all
about, lest we forget.

Just do your job, Jack.

The truth is, you makepeople feel good about sex

and that's why they don't
want you to be guilty.

Oh, I think it's theopposite that's true, Morton.

Clearly people are bothered
that this woman, uh--

Carly Hunter the, uh, caterer?

--can make an unsubstantiatedallegation against me,

and then the next thing youknow I'm on trial for murder.

In fact, lately, I
have had to persuade

a lot of people not to act outtheir rage against Ms Hunter.

Well you see the irony here?

She's accusing me, and
I'm protecting her.

Sometimes I have to askmyself, why am I doing this?

[laughs]

Oh, god.

Are you sure you
don't want me to stay?

Uh, yeah-- no, I'm fine.

Thank you.
I'm OK.

Now, they're going to
get you into that court,

they're going to
twist everything

around until even you won'tremember what you saw.

I'll remember what I
saw, don't you worry.

You are so stubborn.

Here.

I love you.

Aw.

Thanks for coming.

You take care.

Stanley, no more hot cakes,unless I'm cooking them.

I promise.

[laughs]

All right.

Bye.

Bye
STANLEY: See ya.

Bye.

Bye.

[music playing]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sobs]

[knocking]

Who is it?

[clears throat]

Hi.

Tonight's the last of thefree catering contests.

It's a murder mystery night.

The home of Lou and
Frida Tensor, I know.

Somebody dies at
dinner and everybody

gets to figure out who done it.

And we all play a part.

You too?

Yeah.

And you, if you're going.

Of course I'm going.

You all right?

Your eyes are all red.

Oh, I'm--

[scoffs]

I want you to reconsiderwitness protection.

This could go on for months.

[ANGRILY] No.

[sighs]

Why are you acting like this?

You could have been
killed last night.

[scoffs]

By Stanley?

It could have been anyone.

But I wasn't thinking
about that, was I?

Oh, well you took
your eye off the ball,

Jack, shame, shame, shame.

That's right.

That's right.

[interposing voices]

OK, what am I supposed to do?

All right.

Um, OK.

We bring the soup in, andRupert the Butler-- that's you--

stands at the, uh,
head of the table.

Paulette, the French maid--that's me-- stands at the foot.

Uh, which is which?

Just stand opposite me.

And then, um, you say--

you say?

Uh, dinner is served.

And that's what we do.

We start serving.

And then, when I
get to Mrs. Tensor,

that's when the lights go out.

Then the gunshot.

And then when the lightscome back on again--

um, oh, Mrs. Tensor's dead.

Uh, OK.

Soup.

[laughing]

I hate people who haveserious [inaudible] meals.

It's so shallow of them.

[laughing]

Well, speaking of meals.

[claps]

Dinner is served.

[WHISPERING] The other end.

What?

Serve from the other end.

Oh, sorry.

JACK: Oh, pardon me.
[yelling]

How did that happen?

I didn't even hit the switch.

[gunshot]

My Japanese urn!

It's priceless.

MR. TENSOR: Oh, dear.

Bravo.

Bravo.

I've never had special
effects before.

PARTY GUEST: I'm
telling you, your wife

Nobody move.

Don't tell me,
the Butler did it?

Nobody move.

What are you doing here?

I told you to stay put.

Stay here.
- But--

I mean it, Carly, don't move.

[music playing]

[muffled]

[gasps]

You are one
stubborn little bitch.

Freeze.

Do you think maybe
we're missing something?

Well what are we waiting for?

Let's go.

Drop the gun.

Drop it!

Come on everybody,
they're in here.

What's the problem, detective?

You see?

It's all part of the show.

[gasps]

Who's that?

That's not Norman.

It's Chester Winnifield.
- Professor Passion!

Games up, WInnifield.

You've been recognized.

What are you going to do?

You going to kill us all?

[laughs]

You all right?

.38?

Gee.

You want to bet this is the gunthat killed Tobias and Sophie?

It is better to
have loved and lost

than to have never loved at all.

Definitely the best one, yet.

Winnifield had a key.

Mrs. Tensor used to
be one of his clients.

He just let himself in.

Bail hearings tomorrow morning.

He won't get out this time.

Do you want me to
spend the night?

No.

I'd rather be alone, thanks.

OK.

Come on, Jack, be happy.

Carly's safe,
Winnifield's going down

and, uh, you might even
end up with a book deal.

I had six agents call me today.

Ain't life grand?

Oh, come on, Jack.

The people wished to expresstheir gratitude by taking

you out for a steak and a beer.

[laughs]

I bow to the
wishes of the people.

[car engine revs]

[sighs]

[phone ringing]

[gasps]

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Hello?

Who the hell is this?

[scoffs]

[dialing]

Hey Jack, it's Carly.

Uh, could you give me acall, when you get a chance?

Thanks.

[knocking]

[gasps]

[knocking continues]

[relieved sigh]

Elliot.

Hi.

I saw on the news
about Winnifield.

They-- they got him lockedup, you know, that's great.

I thought you might, uh, giveme a cup of tea, you know,

if, uh, that cop's
off the case now.

[laughs]

Yeah, he's off The case.

I would love to give
you a cup of tea.

Come on in.

I'm sorry, about Jack.
- Who?

Detective Brannigan.

I'm really sorry about
the way he treated you.

Oh.

I-- It's Jack, is it?

Well, we did spend a
lot of time together.

But he's off the case now?

Well he's off my
case, thank god.

Well that's good.

Things can get back
to normal around here.

I was thinking maybe
we could go out.

- Now?
- No.

Sometime.

I mean, a date.

First thing I
have to do is get

my business back on the rails.

We could drive up the cost.

Maybe buy some lobsters
and you could cook them.

I have to go to the bankfirst thing in the morning

and beg them for mercy.

You want to do that?

What?

Go to the bank?

No, drive up the
coast like I said.

Just the two of us.

Elliot, I am real tired.

So let's talk about
this tomorrow.

OK?

You're not listening to me.

Jack, huh?

You and Jack have a good time?

After everything I did for you.

You didn't need him.

I could of looked
after you just fine.

Elliot-- let--

Oh, but you wanted Jack, huh?

[muffled screaming]

VOICEMAIL: You have
one new message.

CARLY: [ON VOICEMAIL] Hey Jack.

It's Carly.

Uh, could you give me acall when you get a chance?

Thanks.

[dialing]

[ringing]

[beep]

[music playing]

[exhales audibly]

Where am I?

ELLIOT: You're home.

In the attic.

I made tea.

Would you like some?

I'd love some.

You did all this, Elliot.

ELLIOT: Yes.

Do you like it?

It wasn't easy
getting all this stuff

up here without being noticed.

I bet.

Well I need my hands.

No you don't.

No, I tried it.

Why are you doing this, Elliot?

I love you.

You never noticed.

You're right.

I-- I didn't notice.

You just took me
for granted, Carly.

And-- until Sophie
got shot, and--

and then you were so
scared you practically

jumped into my arms.

So I made the tape.

I wrote those notes.

I'm sorry.

But it worked.

Until that stupid
cop came along.

Jack?

This is because of Jack?

Come on, Carly.

Don't tell me there was nothinggoing on between you two.

Jack?

I-- I was afraid, Elliot.

And besides, he's gone now.

Yes.

He is.

Carly?

Carly?

JACK: Roses are red,
violets are blue.

Elliot and Carly in
a room built for two.

- You're so creative.
- Thank you.

I've always liked
that about you.

You know I've always
liked you, right?

Well if you like
me so much how

come you never said anything?

Well you're not the onlyone who's shy, you know?

I mean didn't you ever wonderwhy I don't have a boyfriend?

I guess you're so wrappedup in yourself you never

thought about me, did you?

I guess not.

No.

[knocking]

Elliot?

I'm sorry.

If we're going to have
a normal life together,

then you're going to haveto learn how to trust me.

A little.

[scoffs]

Untie my hands.

I want to trust you.

And I want to trust you too.

So, Elliot, untie my hands.

You're not trying
to con me, are you?

Oh, it's you.

[grunts]

You OK?

I'm fine.

Of course she's fine.

I wasn't going to
hurt her, Jack.

It was just a game.

She wanted it this way.

[ANGRILY] Shut up, Elliot.

I mean it.

I wasn't going to hurt her.

You can't prove I was.

[sobs]

[knocking]
Come in.

It's unlocked.

I see you taking
my security measures

to heart, your door's unlocked.

Well it's, um, it's hard to hearthe doorbell when I'm cooking.

How's Elliot?

Not bad.

Considering he's been
charged with kidnapping,

forcible confinement, sexualassault and a half dozen

other felonies.

[sighs]

Poor Elliot.

I feel sorry for him.

And I don't know why.

Because you're a
kind person who always

thinks the best of people.

In other words, I'm a sucker?

No.

Maybe a bit too
trusting, that's all.

So what happens now?

[laughs]

There'll be a trial and
you'll have to testify.

Well how am I going
to prove anything?

It's his word against mine.

No, you have an eyewitness.

Right.

Of course.

Right.

So I guess your job's done?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, I guess.

I guess it should, um--

keys back.

Yoo-hoo!

H-- what's he doing here?

Why aren't you guarding Elliot?

- He's in jail.
- Good.

After what what he put
dear Carly through.

Oh, to think I nurtured thatviper right under my very roof.

[gasps]

Any chance of a snack dear?

Felix looks peckish.

I should get going.

Jack.

Yeah?

Um-- uh, the keys.

[laughs]

Oh!

Right.

Sorry.

OK.

He is a very handsome man.

Yes he is.

And you're in love with him.

[laughs]

A policeman.

You poor dear.

Look, stay there.

Felix, come with me.

Detective!

Detective!

Detective, where do
you think you're going?

Excuse me?

How could you leave
the scene of a crime?

What crime?

A B & E.

There's been no B & E, Mrs. K.

Oh, there certainly has.

Felix, break down the door.

See?

A B & E. Write it up.

You people are completelyinsane, you know that?

[laughs]

God, how embarrassing.

That should hold
for the time being.

Oh, My son can fix anything.

Oh, come on Felix, time to go.Work's done.

Come on.

You want to stay
for dinner, Jack?

Sure.

There's enough for everyone.

Get out of here, Felix.

It's time to go home.

Thank you, dear.

Some other time.

Very subtle, aren't they?

I don't know.

I wonder which one I'm
going to kill first.

Oh, now that
would be homicide.

I'm a cop, remember?

Right.

So what are you going to do?

Arrest me?

I might.

I can't imagine what
Mrs. K was thinking.

I think she was thinking--try and bring us together.

Well, she's pretty eccentric.

I think she's perfectly sane.

What's for dinner?

Something that will keep.

[laughs]

[music playing]

[laughs]

I know what we need.

[laughing]

[laughs]

What?

JACK: Hey, hey!

[whipped cream spraying]

[laughing]

JACK: [PLAYFUL]
Stop it, stop it.

CARLY: I'm going to get you!

[both laugh]

[QUIETLY] I'm going to get you.

[laughs]

JACK: Come here.

CARLY: No, I'm not.

[music playing]