Recep Ivedik 6 (2019) - full transcript

I'm not available. Get lost, please!

Dear God, didn't you hear what I said?
Who is this at this hour?

-Who's ringing the bell?
-I am.

-Are you?
-Yes.

Are you tall enough to ring it?

-You're being rude.
-Rude? Why is that?

-Why are you disturbing me?
-I've a letter for you.

If you do, then throw it under the door.
You're closer to it.

Kakader. Yes! It's from the association.

It must be important. Here, take this.

"We'd be honored to see..."



-What?
-What does it say?

It's none of your business!

It's a private letter for me.
Don't make me go nuts and break your neck!

I'm sorry.

It says: "We'd be honored
to see you among us

at the 6th White Beans Festival of Konya,

organized by
the Karaambar Truck Drivers' Association."

It must be good news.

There's no better news than this, bitch!
I'm telling you!

There's no better news!
Nurullah! I've got great news!

I've got great news, Nurullah!

I've got great news, Nurullah!

-There he is!
-Who's this guy?

-Recep is coming!
-Here, have some!



Please, move away. I don't want to eat.
Please, let me go my way.

-We insist. Have some!
-No, thank you. I don't want to.

I said let me be! I don't want to eat.
Come on, let me go!

Nurullah!

Don't burst my balloons!
Why are you doing that?

Nurullah!

What's up?

No, don't!

-Stop it!
-There you go! Move!

Nurullah!

Nurullah! Nurullah, I've got great news!

Yay! I've got great news! Nurullah!

-What's the score?
-It's two-two.

Adios, then. Have fun. Nurullah!

I've got great news! Nurullah!

I've got great news!
Come on, take a seat! Come on! Sit.

-I swear I'm about to have a heart attack.
-Why are you pushing yourself so hard?

I've got great news for you. Great news!

Here, read it.

"We'd be honored to see you among us
at the 6th White Beans Festival of Konya."

-White Beans Festival?
-Yep. White Beans Festival.

-Where is it?
-In Konya.

-In Konya?
-Yeah, in Konya.

Konya, the city where time stops,
an awe-inspiring city,

where you can see thousands
of shades of green.

My grandfather was a Mevlevi member
in the Ottoman era.

He was interested in Sufism.
That's why I want to visit Konya.

It's great news, then.
Two birds with one stone.

You'll both visit Konya
and eat tons of white beans.

We will have. We will visit.

You mean, plural second person singular?
Because we're going together.

-No, man, I can't go.
-What do you mean you can't?

Am I supposed to go alone?
Aren't you my best buddy?

-You'll go with me.
-Who will run this place?

I don't give a damn! Did you ask
my opinion when you started to run it?

Your friend is invited
to the White Bean Festival.

-As a friend, you should join him.
-No, Recep, I can't.

Goddamn you! I don't care
if you don't come with me!

I don't care!

From this moment on,
our friendship is over.

You and I aren't friends anymore!

-I don't care! Go to hell!
-Calm down, Recep. I'm sorry.

-I'm coming.
-No, you're not!

Are you trying to do me a favor by telling
me that you'll come? I don't need it!

Stop acting like a kid! Okay, I'm coming.

-Are you sure?
-I am, Recep.

Then buy us the tickets, come on.

Why am I buying the tickets?

You're the one inviting me.
Why am I buying them?

Of course you're buying them!
Are you my best buddy or what?

Buddies do that. If you're my buddy,
then you're the one paying for them.

You make the customers pay more.

You ask for six times
what people should pay.

I have 325 liras of pension
thanks to my grandmother.

How can I buy the tickets?
I bought bitcoin with what I could save.

And I went bankrupt.
I bought at 17,000 and it fell to 3,000.

I screwed up so badly.

Your nephew's a tourism professional,
right? Call him.

He might get some free tickets for us.
Call him.

God, we're going to Konya.

It'll be one hell of a festival, Nurullah.
Trust me.

Is it ringing?

-Hello?
-How are you, son?

-How is he?
-I'm fine, Uncle.

-You know, I'm busy with work, as usual.
-He's fine.

-Cool.
-We're planning a trip.

Don't worry, Uncle. I'll help you.
For how many people?

-Two. Recep and myself.
-I'm sorry. Come again, Uncle.

-Two, son.
-Yeah, two.

-Oh, two.
-Yep, for two people.

-Okay, Uncle. Where do you want to go?
-To Konya.

-I'm sorry, to where?
-To Konya!

Hello? I can't hear you properly, Uncle.

-Hello? Can you hear me?
-Is there a signal?

-Yeah. Two bars.
-Damn your operator!

I can't hear you. Please go somewhere
where you can get a stronger signal.

Son, it's Konya!

I can hear the "ya" part,
but not the first part.

-It's Konya!
-It's Konya!

I said it's Konya!

-Oh, Kenya!
-Hello?

-Okay, it's Kenya. Good choice, Uncle.
-Hello?

-Okay, Uncle, great choice.
-Finally!

-What's the exact date?
-He's asking the date for the trip.

-The festival is on Sunday 15th.
-The departure is on Sunday 15th.

Uncle, I'm warning you.
One way will be more expensive.

-He says it'll be more expensive.
-It's not my concern, you know.

Uncle, I have a great tour program,
departure on 13th and return on 16th.

You'd love it.

He has a tour program
between 13th and 16th.

-Okay, take it.
-Okay. We'll take the tour.

-Great.
-Will we visit everywhere?

-Tell us about the route.
-The plains and stuff?

Is there a trip to the plains?

The plains, natural beauties,
historical places.

-You're going to visit them one by one.
-We'll visit everywhere.

Private vehicles will arrive
at your doorstep

and take you
everywhere on the route, Uncle.

Private vehicles will take us.

-Excellent. And the accommodation?
-The accommodation?

You'll be staying at four star hotels.

-Four star hotels.
-Four?

I was expecting five, but four is fine.
Okay. Take the tour.

It's okay for us.

Uncle, I'm warning you.
It's different there. It'll be very hot.

Be careful and dress appropriately.

He says it'll be very hot.

Oh, really? I thought it'd be colder!
Of course it'll be hotter!

It receives a lot of sunlight!

We're talking about Konya Plains here.
Death Valley!

Recep knows about the place.
He knows it'll be hotter.

Anything else we need to do?

You need to get your passports ready.

Bring them to me
and I'll return them to you on the plane.

Passport?

Passport? Why do we need passports
to go to Konya?

-Security concerns?
-It might be.

As you know, state of emergency is
in effect. It might be because of that.

My passport is at Salih's.
Get it from there.

All right, son.
I'll bring all the documents.

All right, Uncle.

-Are we good?
-We're good.

If we're good, then hang up. Hang up now,
before he changes his mind.

I'm so excited! We're going
to a great festival. Give me five!

Easy!

Hello.

Take good care of the Red Devil, got it?
Don't leave it alone. Good luck.

Hello, son. Here are the documents.

-Thanks, Uncle.
-Hello, brother.

-Hello.
-Hi, Uncle.

As far as I remember,
I told you dress appropriately.

And we did.
These are my great-grandfather's clothes.

These are the most common clothes
in that area.

If it's okay for you,
then I have nothing to say.

Also, people wear
whatever they want there.

The important thing is
to breathe the same air.

Yeah. The important thing is to feel
and be a part of the spirit.

Well said, man.

Now, we need to go to the plane.

-Let's get you vaccinated and go.
-Vaccinated?

What vaccine? What are you talking about?

We weren't told anything
about any vaccine.

It's mandatory by the government.
I've nothing to with it.

Why should the government mandate
getting vaccinated?

Are we at primary school? Then we should
get checked for mumps and chicken pox.

And we should study for exams!

We go on a trip for three days
and the government can't leave us alone!

Is there anything you can do?

Unfortunately, no. I wouldn't bother you
with such things if I could do anything.

It's for your own protection,
if anything happens to you there.

I'm sure nothing will happen,
but just in case, you know.

It can't be like this.

-Can you give us a moment?
-Okay. You have five minutes.

You need to be ready.

Look, I'm telling you honestly,
I don't like him at all!

-There's something going on with him.
-What?

I'm getting more suspicious
because he's a relative of yours.

All your relatives are cheats
and con artists.

His father ran away with the registrar
after taking his mother's gold jewelry.

He deserves a chance. We shouldn't
judge him for his father's sins, I know.

But he said passport. First suspicion.
And then the vaccine. Second suspicion.

May God save us from the third one.

If it comes from the government,
it must be necessary.

Nothing else matters
if it's about the country.

I know that! Stop shouting slogans!

I know that!
But I'm talking about a vaccine here.

Okay, move!

Come on man. Get inside. You too, Uncle.

-Hello. Where should I stand? Here?
-Yes.

He's going first.

-No, Recep, you go first.
-No, you.

-Recep, I'm scared.
-I'm scared, too.

-You first to see if it hurts.
-You're older.

-Come on. Sit!
-Recep, no!

Take a seat, Recep.

Both of you will get it done.
Let's take you first, if you like.

Goddamn you! Take this.

Take this, too.

Which one do I need to open up?
Right or left?

That's not necessary

-What do you mean?
-We're not doing it on the arm.

Where do you do it, Miss?

On the hip.

-On the hip?
-On the hip. I mean, the buttocks.

By buttocks, you mean... the ass?

Yes.

We didn't know that. We're getting
mistreated over and over again.

It's unacceptable!

-What's this for?
-Malaria.

We're going to Konya. What does malaria
have anything to with Konya?

Konya... nice!

Look at her! All doctors are crazy,
after studying for seven to eight years,

after seeing so many corpses
and operations.

Open up.

Oh my God! You're so fast, Doc!
I'm not used to it! Look at that!

How can you say open up right away?

You haven't said anything. Left or right?

-It doesn't matter.
-It really does!

Just like the arms, there are two parts.
Which one should I open up, left or right?

I don't care if it's left or right.

Then I'll open the right one.

Generally I get vaccinated
on the right cheek. Oh, God!

-Is that enough for you?
-It is.

It hurts!

-I haven't even touched it yet!
-Okay, then.

-It hurts!
-The syringe's still in my hand!

Doc, please let me know before you do it.
I need to be ready.

Okay. Take a deep breath.

Oh, my dear God! It hurts so badly!

-Which seat, Nurullah?
-Eight, man.

-Eight?
-Yep.

We're at the back again.

-Nurullah?
-Yeah?

-Are you sure we're on the right plane?
-Yeah, I know these people.

We were together at the gates.
Hello, Auntie.

Auntie? What auntie? Watch your mouth!
You should call me ma'am!

We're sorry, but what did he call you?

-Old hag?
-Oh!

-Did he call you old dog?
-Oh!

He called you auntie!
Don't take it so hard.

You're like an auntie.
If he called you ma'am, it'd be an insult.

You're rude!

Come on Nurullah. Give them to me.

Give me the luggage.

Let's have a good flight.

Here we go.

Do you see anything strange
on the plane, Nurullah?

-No, man.
-How can you not?

-There are more black people.
-You're right.

-Why?
-I don't know.

Think about it.

-Nothing comes to mind.
-The power of Konya.

What does Mevlana say?

-Come out of the blue?
-Goddamn you!

You idiot. It's Seda Sayan's line.
Mevlana says: "Come, whoever you are."

As you can see, people from
all over the world are going to Konya.

Here's the announcement.

Have you fastened it?

-Hey, did you fasten your seatbelt?
-Yes.

-Where are you from?
-Yes.

-What?
-Yes.

You say yes to everything. I don't get it.

All right, then. Konya, here we come.

I want it to be a good flight, Captain.
Let's take off.

Oh my God! Allahu Akbar!
What's happening, Nurullah?

It's nothing. It's just turbulence.

How can you be so calm?

It's nothing! It's just turbulence!

You're talking about turbulence
as if you fly 50,000 miles a year!

What time is it?

-1:37 pm.
-1:37 pm?

-You mean it's been 3.5 hours?
-That's right.

How is it possible, Nurullah?

-It's so weird.
-What do you mean?

-How long it takes to Ankara?
-One hour.

So? Konya is near Ankara.
It should be one and half hours to Konya.

It's been three and a half hours.
There must be something wrong.

-Is it because of traffic in the air?
-Yeah, you might be right.

The traffic is terrible at rush hour.

Especially the Istanbul-Konya bridge.
You idiot!

Traffic in the air? It's empty.
You just go.

There's traffic at take-off and landing.

I need to ask about it. It's not good.
It shouldn't take three and a half hours.

Ma'am, excuse me.

Hey, come here. I've pushed the button.

You... you need to come.

Where did he come from?

How can I help you, sir?

I didn't ask for you.

No, but she's busy with the service.
I can help you.

I pushed the button.

She and I had eye contact. As she was
about to come, you took her place.

Why did you do this? Is this your area?
You were serving sandwiches back there.

-What are you doing here?
-I don't understand.

Anyway, we checked the time
and we got confused.

It's been three and a half hours
and it should take much more.

Yes sir. We have three hours left,
so, it'll take longer.

How can we have three more hours left?

How long does it take to Konya?

From Istanbul to Konya... I'm not sure,
but it must be approximately...

Oh my! What's your problem?

A flight attendant should be nice
to the customers.

You're anything but nice!

-It's not on my flight route.
-I don't care about your route!

Anyway, we've been in the air
for three and a half hours.

You said three hours to go.
That's six and a half.

Six minus one and a half is five.
Tell me about this five-hour difference.

Yes, it takes an hour and a half to Konya,
but this isn't the flight to Konya.

-Where to, then?
-To Kenya, sir.

-Kenya?
-Yeah, Kenya.

Isn't this the flight to Konya?

Konya? No sir, it's to Kenya.
You must be kidding.

Wait a minute! Is this plane
going to Kenya right now?

-Yes, it's going to Kenya.
-What's he saying, Nurullah?

We were told it's going to Konya.
It should be Konya.

-No, it's Istanbul-Kenya.
-You're kidding.

-No, I'm not kidding, sir.
-Tell me you're kidding.

-I'm not kidding.
-It's not Kenya.

-Let go of me! I said let go of me!
-Are you kidding me? Huh?

-Is this a bad joke?
-Will you let go of me, please?

I want to talk to the pilot!

-I want to talk to the pilot!
-Sir, stop it!

-I want to go to Konya, not Kenya!
-I said stop it!

Take us to Konya and then go to Kenya!

I want to go to Konya!

-Move away. Move!
-What's happening?

What? He should pass out now!
Why isn't he passing out?

Did it work?

Look at us! We're in Kenya, not Konya!

One letter shouldn't make
such a difference!

Put E instead of O
and here's the difference!

You need to be optimistic, man.

We're in Kenya for vacation.
Let's enjoy it.

Optimistic? She gave me 7,000 volts
at 30,000 feet!

I still can't feel my left buttock!
What kind of optimism is that?

Take it this way!

-What's happening?
-What's happening?

If I miss the White Bean Festival...

then you'll definitely know
what's happening!

Welcome!

Welcome!

Welcome, everyone!
Welcome to beautiful Kenya!

I'm your tour guide Ersin.

How was the flight? Are we tired?

-What? Were you with us, brother?
-I'm sorry?

Were you with us? "Are we tired?"
Are we a group together?

It is just a figure of speech.

The flight was rough.
We're nervous. We're sorry.

Then I'll take you to your tents
and let you rest.

Tents? What's he talking about, Nurullah?

I'm not staying in a tent.
Wasn't it a four star hotel?

-We were told no such thing, Ersin.
-But it's our concept.

Take a look at me and him.
How can we stay in a tent?

How can we stay in the same tent?
He snores, farts

and touches himself at nights.

-Are you different to me?
-Shut up!

Don't worry,
our facility has four star hotel quality.

Trust me, you're going to love it.
Come on.

It's all because of you! Move! Move it!

Here we go.

So, what do you think?

-To be honest, it's better than my house.
-I told you.

Get some rest. It's going
to be a very tiring day tomorrow.

-See you at breakfast at 6:00 a.m.
-Breakfast at 6:00 a.m.?

You know what they say? The early bird
catches the worm! See you.

I know this jerk from somewhere, Nurullah,
but where?

Take one.

-I'll take that one.
-Oh, really?

That's mine. This one's yours.
You need to be close to the door.

You'll make first contact with
anything dangerous. Move this way.

Nurullah.

Nurullah.

We're here because of him,
in the middle of Africa.

And he's driving his pigs to the market!

I haven't got used to this bed.

It's like everyone is watching me.
I see eyes everywhere.

What's that?

Damn, it's moving! It's an insect!

Oh! Goddamn it. Now it's on his pants.

Oh, crap, he's so afraid of insects.

What are we going to do? It's so big.

I'm about to throw up!

Oh, damn it.

Look where it landed. Damn,
I'm going to unman him to kill the insect.

There's nothing I can do, Nurullah.
I must hit it.

Okay, here we go.

Oh, God, it's moving!
It's going toward his face! Goddamn it!

Oh, I'm about to throw up!

He had a disgusting face. Now his face
is even more disgusting with the insect.

Okay, one, two, three.

Oh, shoot! It's in his mouth now!
Cough it up, Nurullah!

Cough it up, Nurullah! He's dying!
He's dying in Kenya!

He's dying in Kenya!

Cough it up! Come on, Nurullah!

He's dying! He's dying in Kenya!

-He's dying in Kenya!
-It's out!

-Are you sure? Are you sure it's out?
-Yeah, it's out.

-Is it out?
-It's out!

No, no. No jamboo or any such thing!
He's my buddy.

He's not jamboo. He's my buddy.

Get out of here!
Or I'll hit you with this! Get out!

Good morning to you, too!

Don't start!
Shut up before I break your neck!

-You seem nervous today, Recep.
-Oh, no, not at all! I'm very happy!

I was going to go to Konya for white beans
and now I'm here eating this!

It's great!

I'm quite happy this morning,
while it's 55 degrees Celsius out there

and wild animals are looking at me!

Did I want this? There was a mistake.

Shut up! Shut up!

Don't drive me mad.
Did you call your nephew?

Yes, I did.

-When's the return flight, then?
-In three days. It's overbooked.

-We're in the queue.
-Goddamn you, man!

Goddamn you and your freaking nephew!

Screw the midwife
that helped you get born!

Creatures like you two
should've disappeared from this world!

-Don't insult me, man!
-Shut up!

Shut up!

Everyone is laughing at me.

Everyone thinks we're lovers
because of what happened.

How could this happen? You humiliated us!

It's all because of that bastard.
I'll catch you in the savanna!

And I'll break your neck!

You see why I'm angry now?

You're angry and nervous,
but you haven't lost your appetite!

It's different here. Be careful.
You'll get nauseous.

Yeah, you know all about it
because you lived here

for seven years as an expat and you know
about breakfast culture in Africa!

All your experience! Mind your own food.

You idiot. It's good, like rice wafers.
Do you want some?

-I don't eat that!
-You can. It's great!

-It'll make me sick.
-It's great.

Oh, my!
Are you serving dessert to each other?

Good morning. I hope
you're not too tired after last night.

Because we're going
to watch the great migration.

You see what I mean now?

-What's your name, pal?
-Ersin.

Ersin, don't make me beat you up.
Watch it! What are you trying to say?

Oh, I'm sorry, sir. Jamboo-jamboo.

What is jamboo-jamboo? What do you mean?

The guard saw it and imagining it
for a moment made me nervous.

What did he see?
What are you trying to say?

What are you implying? What's your point?

We have no problem with that, of course.
It's your choice, after all.

Yeah, it's my choice.

Now I'll give you some options
and you're going to choose one.

Which one should I say? A, B, C or D?

-I'm sorry?
-Choose one.

What should I say?
A, B, C or D? Which one?

-I'm choosing A.
-Good choice.

There was no slap for B, C and D
but you chose A. It was your choice.

Look, dude, I'll tear you in half
and let the lions come to your funeral.

-Get out of here!
-Get out of here!

Get out! Don't push us!

Cut the bullshit. Cut it out!
It's all your fault.

I swear I'll stab you!

I'll stab you right here

and I'll hang you from the ceiling
by your feet and skin you!

Nothing I do makes you happy, Recep.

We're good to go, huh?
Our safari starts right now!

Oh my God.
I hope they don't get in our vehicle.

We should've gone before they arrived.

-Start the engine. Maybe we can escape.
-Hey!

Wait for us!

Easy! Where are you going like that?
It's like you're trying to escape.

Sir, we're a bit late
and people can't wait for you, so...

Oh, really?

All these people are going
to wait for me, pal!

Since you people ruined my routine
and I'm in a place I don't want to be

and since I'm forced to be in Kenya,

-you're going to wait for me!
-Yeah.

If I were in Istanbul,
I'd have breakfast at ten

and then at eleven,
my intestines would start working

and I'd take a dump at twelve.

Here, breakfast is at six.

My intestines haven't started to work
and I'm not ready.

I don't want to start my day like this,
so, you're going to wait!

-Yeah, sure.
-Open it.

-We needed you, for sure.
-Excuse me?

It's so nice of you to join us.
We wouldn't have gone without you.

Look, be a good boy and be a nice guide.
Don't make me mad! Okay?

Hello. I want you to have a nice tour.

I hope we'll see lots of animals.

Here we go.

Dear friends, this is the place
where mankind was born.

The environment around us
is home to 500 different kinds of animals.

Take a good look.

-Now I remember where I know him from.
-Do you?

Watch this.

-Excuse me!
-Yes.

Name all 500 one by one.

I'll name them if I have to.

Then name them. I want you to.

Okay. They are rhinos, elephants,
gorillas, lions...

-Did I say rhinos?
-Why are you naming the same animals?

Where are the remaining animals?

You can't name the other 496, can you?
You jackass!

Remember me?

You and your jokes again, sir.

Anyway, all of you are going
to witness the great migration.

We'll get notified via radio
and then we're going to watch it.

So, what's the great migration?

The only one I know about is the one

where Turkic tribes migrated
from the Middle Asia to Anatolia.

What's that got to do with this?

Don't underestimate it.
If it weren't for that,

you'd be at the Great Wall of China
selling bottles of water.

This is a migration
where lots of animals migrate to wetlands.

Oh, okay. There's a migration
to work in Istanbul every morning.

No, sir. This one involves animals.

It involves violence and survival.
It's a journey of hope.

I know.
We're talking about the same thing.

People try to survive every morning.

They bite each other to get a seat
on public transport.

The vehicles are full of animals. We have
perverts, stalkers, pests, rapists.

I've even seen someone
forcing himself to throw up.

Don't interrupt the guide.
I don't want to listen to you!

Is it hard for you, ma'am?

Is what hard for me?

-The menopause.
-You're shameless!

Please, calm down.

Dear guests,
take a look at these endless plains.

Anything and everything started here.

What is it, Recep?

My stomach, Nurullah.
It's killing me, man.

-I told you not to eat that food, man.
-How do you know it's the food?

-Oh, God!
-Are you okay?

I'm not okay at all. My intestines
are full. I need to take a dump.

-You can't get off the vehicle.
-Do you want me to do it here?

Oh, don't do that please. Don't.

But it's too dangerous.
It's full of wild animals.

It's more dangerous to stay here,
I'm telling you.

There's going to be an explosion
and it's going to splatter everywhere.

It's knocking on the door!

I don't know what to do.
Maybe you should get off.

-But don't go far.
-Let him go far, far away!

Are you still talking? I swear
I'll do it right next to your feet!

-You're shameless!
-Hellcat!

Oh, God! I'm going to the bushes
over there. I'm going to do it there.

Oh, shoot.

-Is it going to take long?
-It is. He likes to take his time.

-Damn, it's started.
-What? The migration?

-The migration has started.
-Move, then. Now!

I've been waiting for this for a year.
I'm not missing it for some shitty reason!

My husband is the most famous lawyer
in Istanbul.

I'll ruin your company
and take everything you have.

We paid for it! Give us our money back
or take us there right now!

We can't go anywhere before he comes back.

Oh, God, I don't know what to do.
The migration has started.

Everyone wants to watch it,
so we have to go. You!

Get off and stay with your friend.
But don't move a muscle.

Hide in the bushes and stay still.
We'll come back after the migration.

I'm not leaving my friend alone.
I'm getting off now!

-Get off!
-Don't move a muscle!

We'll be back soon. Stay still.

Come on, hurry up. Move, move!

-Recep! Recep!
-Stop there! I'm taking a dump.

Okay, I'm waiting here.

People don't leave me alone,
even when pooing!

-How do you feel now, Recep?
-Okay, but why are you here?

They had to go and I didn't want to leave
you alone, so I got off and came here.

-You got off the vehicle?
-Yes.

-Where is it now?
-It's gone, man.

The great migration has started.

Why did you let them go? Why did you
let them go before we got on the vehicle?

The women were raising hell.

Don't make me hit you and raise hell!

Are you stupid or something?
Are you some kind of a moron?

You got off just because
some women were making a scene!

We're in Africa.
There are wild animals here!

How could you get off?

Calm down, man.
They said they'll come back for us.

They said not to go anywhere
and stay in the bushes.

You freaking idiot! I've just taken
a dump. It's still hot and it smells.

The smell will spread rapidly in Africa.
It'll spread all around here.

All the animals like leopards, lions,
cheetahs will come here.

-You want to stay here?
-What are we going to do?

Call the camp. Call them quickly!

-I have no signal, man.
-Do you have anything at all?

-Anything?
-Let's make the call from your phone.

I don't have it with me.

I left it at the camp
because my data roaming is off.

I didn't take it with me.

-What are we going to do?
-There's only one thing we can do.

We'll find the camp by following
the tire tracks. It's the only way.

We need to check for lions.
Look, those ones are after the antelopes.

There are too many there.
We'll go this way.

What if they come to this way?

Then here's the plan.

We'll stay together,
then run in different directions.

The lions will get confused and follow
one of us. The other will survive.

What if the lions follow me?

I hope they choose you.

If they choose you, run as far as you can.

When you're not be able to run, lie down,
cross your arms,

raise your head and then start praying.
The lions will handle the rest.

You'll be dead in a few hours.
They'll eat you in four days.

-Don't say that, man!
-Okay, move. Move it!

I'm not the one who got off the vehicle.
Move it! Move!

You should follow the road
for the vehicles.

Why? Because it goes somewhere
one way or the other.

The vehicles have to go somewhere,
after all.

-Nurullah.
-What is it, Recep?

-Dead end.
-Dead end?

-Now we're screwed.
-Why?

-No more road.
-Did we go the wrong way?

No, it's impossible. My calculations
showed that the camp was there.

It should be there. We've come
all this way and the road ends here.

Yes, the vehicles came from above,
came down and started right here!

It's the wrong way!

Can you give me a moment?

Would you let me manage this crisis?
Move away!

Okay, Recep.

-What are you doing?
-Smelling the air.

You should've smelt it in the first place!

Get out! Get the hell out!

Find your own route,
all the way to hell if you like!

Where can I go, Recep?

Soon the lions will catch the sweaty smell
of your ass and come here.

They'll catch and eat us because of you.

-You smell awful.
-I'm sorry.

Just give me a moment!

I've spent my life finding
my way in open fields.

I was a scout
in my three years of education.

-They called me Recep the Little Wolf.
-Okay, man.

All right. According to my experience,
I'm telling you, Nurullah,

if it's a dead end, we have two options.

We either go left or right.

-I think we should go right.
-Okay.

It's always good to be on the right side.
Let's go.

Nurullah. I'm telling you loud and clear
that we're definitely lost.

-Lost?
-Yeah, we're definitely lost.

I can't help.
I have no idea where the camp is.

What are we going to do?

We need to do something. We're not
going to sit here and cry like a baby.

I'm an alpha male. Surviving is in my DNA.

When I was a child, they'd leave me
in a city seven kilometers away

and I'd find my way to the town
in the dark by smell, barefoot.

That's how I roll!

Now, sunset is close. We need a plan

-to spend the night in the open.
-We're staying in the open?

No, I'm staying here.

I arranged a hotel for you! You idiot!
Of course we're staying here!

But not in the open,
we need to have our backs to the forest.

So, we need to go
to where the forest is thick.

Covering our backs with the front clear.
Okay, let's go this way.

Okay, great.

It's excellent. Nothing can touch us here.
Our backs are covered by the trees.

The fire's burning here
and our field of view is clear.

We'll can see any enemies.

-We can rest here, Nurullah.
-I hope so, Recep.

Stop hoping and be sure about it!
Wild animals stay away from fire.

Because they get scared when they see it.
Do you go near the fire?

No, but they're animals.

You're an animal, too.
You're an animal of some kind.

I can't say that you're a human.
Look at yourself and tell me,

do you feel closer to animals or humans?

Think about it.
Which one do you feel closer to?

I think it's animals,
but don't get me wrong.

I'm an animal, too.
I'm more of a domestic animal.

I'm like a cat when I feel secure.
I'm different from you in that regard.

Anyway, neither of us go near the fire
and neither do wild animals.

And don't overrate wild animals.
Don't overestimate them.

What's a wild animal?

It's the cat family, after all.
Yeah, kitty.

Kitty, man! Don't believe anything
they say about a lion attacking you,

or a leopard chasing you
or a cheetah clawing someone.

It's pure bullshit. There's no need
to be afraid of the lions or stuff.

They're all kitty cats, after all.

-Dude!
-What?

-Holy crap!
-What are we going to do, Recep?

First, we need to calm down.
We need to be calm.

A wild animal has arrived.
Do you have any food in your bag?

-Oh, hey, it's nothing man. Calm down.
-I do.

-What? What is it?
-A sausage.

A sausage? What's it doing in your bag?

Great. The sausage is perfect.
Hey, lion! Look at me, boy. Look.

It includes all the animals.
It's a sausage.

Come on, come closer. Come on, kitty-cat.

I'll use this to protect my hand. Here!

Here. It has horse and donkey meat in it.
Come on, boy. Oh!

It's clawing so bad!
Come on, take it, boy!

Here, take it. Take it, boy. Come on.
Oh my! Look at it clawing!

Come on, take it. Take it, boy.
Nurullah, it'll leave us alone soon.

Come on, take it!
Here's your sausage! Go get it!

Come on! Go get it! I said go!
Go and get the sausage!

I said go and get it!
It's not going for the sausage.

I need a deterrent right now!
What do you have in your bag?

Nothing!

Goddamn you! You have a sausage,
but no deterrent!

I have an idea.
There's a way to survive. Come with me.

Come closer, slowly.
Watch my back. Nice and slow.

Go, go! Run! Run for your life!
Has it caught the smell?

Has it? Oh, it's coming.
It's coming for us!

Oh, God, dear God!

I wish I hadn't got off that vehicle
To take a dump

I made a mistake I know
But why did you follow me, you moron

Nurullah! You moron, Nurullah
You're a moron, Nurullah!

We are two lovers and we're very confused

We were looking around left and right

We couldn't understand how it happened

We were going to go to Konya
But we got stuck in Kenya

-Thanks for singing, bro.
-Thank you, man.

Take the robes out of your bag
and lay them here to get some sleep.

Tomorrow's another day.

-Nurullah.
-Yeah?

-Get your hand off me.
-What?

-Get your hand off me.
-I'm not behind you, Recep.

You're not?

You really aren't, Nurullah.
Who's behind me, then, Nurullah?

Oh, my God! Get up! Get up!

-Back off!
-I don't need this! Don't worry!

Calm down! We'll show it who we are!
Don't be weak! What? What do you want?

Let's show it who's more crazy!

-Back off!
-Do you see this?

Three gorillas just like that
in the wilderness!

It's amazing. It's like they're performing
some kind of mating ritual.

Come here! Show me what you got!

Hey, help me!

Wow!

I think we should tranquilize them
and bring them to the laboratory.

I think so, too.

Hit it! I'm getting tired!

Shoot the first one, please.

-You should hit it you moron, not me!
-It was a mistake, man!

What happened?

-Oh, that is good!
-What happened to it?

Did it have a heart attack?

Nurullah, he was shot with a dart.

There must be people around here.
He was shot with a poisonous dart.

The second one, the next one please.

Oh, my God! Nurullah!

I've been hit in the ass. They shot me!

Oh God! I've been hit in the ass!
And I don't feel my legs!

Wow! It's falling, look at that!

Look, I don't feel my legs!
I can't stand! I can't stand, man!

Nurullah! Nurullah!
I watched a documentary once.

Take the dart off!

-Suck my ass to remove the poison!
-Your ass?

Yeah, my ass! Suck it!

-I can't, Recep!
-Suck it!

-I can't do it, Recep!
-Suck my ass!

Suck it before the poison spreads!

-Come on, suck it!
-Oh, man!

-What happened?
-I'm hit, Recep!

Goodbye.

Did you get shot, too?
Goddamn it! Everyone's getting shot!

I'm all alone now! Oh, God! Oh, my God!

It's kicking in now!

I can't feel my left side!

I can still see!
One of my eyes is still open!

It didn't affect me. My eyes are closing.

-Yay!
-Look at this!

-High five!
-Oh my gosh!

-There you go!
-This is incredible!

Let's take them to the lab.

-Let's go.
-Great.

-I'm sobering up now.
-Where are we, Recep?

I have no idea, Nurullah.

They brought it with us.
We must be in some kind of a laboratory.

-Did you pee your pants?
-Yeah, I did, Recep.

You're an adult, man!
How could you do that?

-I don't feel my legs.
-Here they come.

Excuse me, sir.
It's not good what you did.

Get us out of here right now.
Why are we being treated like gorillas?

We're humans! Human beings!

We're humans. We're men!
A man and a gentleman.

A man and a gentleman.

This is very interesting species,
especially the two on the right.

We're different from him!
Homo sapiens and sapiens.

Sapiens, homo sapiens and sapiens.

-Homo and sapiens.
-I think we should do some tests.

Get us out of here right now!

-Me and my friend, please.
-Start test one, please.

What? He said start. Let's start.

This is so complicated, man!
How can we solve this?

Let's swap them.

Like this?

You're not helping at all!
The animal solved it!

Start test two, please.

What should we do? What's this?

The numbers have gone!
I don't remember how they were aligned.

Please!

Goddamn it! It was something like this.

That's a real idiot in the middle.
Oh, my God!

-Has it solved it again?
-That's quite clever.

-It's very smart!
-That's not fair!

Its puzzle was so easy!

You're favoring it
because it's an animal! What about him?

-Don't make me hit you!
-Test number three. Proceed, please.

What should we do with it?

My hand got stuck!

Watch this.

It sensed the sugar, sir. It did.

Oh, come on!

This is how it's done.
I don't need a stick.

Idiot, idiot, smart!

Look what we got ourselves into, man!

Nurullah.

-What is it, man?
-I have a great idea to escape.

Are we digging tunnels?

Yep. Do you have a spoon?
We'll dig tunnels like El Chapo did.

You idiot! What are you talking about?

We'll escape from here
through collective effort.

-Are those the keys for our cages?
-Yeah, man.

-Are you sure?
-I am.

-You see the mop over there?
-Yeah.

-Stick it in your ass.
-Is this a time for jokes?

Anyway, can you reach it?

-I'll try.
-Try it, then.

Try to reach it.

Can you reach it?

-Have you grabbed it?
-I'm trying.

-Have you grabbed it? Keep it quiet!
-I've grabbed it!

Be quiet!

-Have you grabbed it?
-I have.

Give it to me.

Okay, the first step is complete.

Now the second step.
We'll work with the gorilla.

-Bro...
-Hey!

Hey, look at me! Come here.
Be quiet. Take the mop.

Come on, take it. Now, turn it.
Come on, turn it upside down.

They're right there.
The keys. The keys for the cages.

The keys with which you got locked
in there. The keys, idiot! Take them.

And we'll escape.
We'll escape together. The keys!

Come on, the keys! They're on the wall!
Reach them with the mop!

Reach them with it and take them.

Stick it.

Stick it! Stick the mop, come on!
Take the keys with it!

Goddamn you!
You know how to switch the lights!

You know how to choose the pictures, jerk!
Learn how to use some equipment!

You idiot! I can't do it myself!

You messed up the whole escape plan!

No, man. It's not possible.
That idiot doesn't understand a thing.

He's doing it.

He's doing it! Come on, boy! Come on!

Use the mop! Come on!

Good job! Come on, take them.

Take them!

Take the keys, come on! Take them!
Here you go, take them!

Good job boy! Good job!
Give the keys to me.

Give them to me.

Good job, boy! You're the man! Great job!

We've got the keys. Let's open the cage
before that idiot wakes up.

Back off!

Give me the...

He hit him right in the head and made him
pass out. Congratulations. Good job.

Move!

Run! Run! Move, move!
Move this way! Come on!

Come! Come with us, quickly!
Come on! Come here!

Do you want to go that way? Wow.

-It's time to say goodbye, then, Charlie.
-How do you know his name?

-Generally they're called Charlie.
-Charlie?

Yep, Charlie.
All right then, Charlie. Farewell.

You might have babies waiting for you.
Maybe they're waiting for you to come.

Provide for them and don't let them
become dependent on anyone else. Go now!

Maybe your wife's waiting for you, too.

Maybe she prepared some bananas
for dinner for your arrival.

You'll go, wash your feet
and have dinner. Come on.

I know you're in a tough spot.
So am I. I know how you feel.

Go, then. Go to your family. Farewell.

Why did you do that, you jerk?
It was a good speech.

Why did you do that? You want an answer?
Here's your answer! You imbecile!

I thought you could be a man,
but no! You're anything but man!

You jerk! Get out of here!
You stupid gorilla! Get out!

This way. Move!

-I'm so thirsty, Nurullah!
-So am I, Recep!

Should we drink each other's urine?

-You can't drink it!
-Yes, you can!

I watched a documentary once.

A man survived by drinking his urine.
Maybe we can survive, too.

Nurullah, can you see what I see?

-I can, Recep!
-Is that a village?

There's a village there!

Is that our village, Nurullah?

-We made it! We made it, Nurullah!
-We made it, Recep!

Oh, God, we made it!

Thank God, we made it, Nurullah!

They have water! I'm so thirsty!

Me, too! Let's get some water!

Hello, ladies! Can we have some water?

Did I say something wrong? Never mind.
Come on. Let's get some, brother.

Come on, brother. Take some.

Here you go. Here, enjoy it.

Recep! Someone's coming.

Hello, brothers.

We got lost.
We need to find our way to the town.

We need a telephone.
We need to go to the town,

hop on to a plane
and get back to our home.

He didn't understand.

If we were in a Turkish village right now,
we'd be served flatbread and buttermilk.

I'd choose our people any day.
Look at them!

Each one's creepier than the other.

Look, brother. We are tourists.
Photos, tourists, you know?

We're here for safari.
Photos, tourists, you know. Got it?

We got off the vehicle. I took a dump.
The vehicle went away. We were left here.

What the hell is this?

Oh God! Nurullah,
they're going to cut us into pieces!

Oh, God, help us!
They're going to kill us, Recep!

They're going to kill
the shit out of us, Nurullah!

Look at him! Hey! The Turkish government
will make you pay for this!

You're making a mistake!
Just let us go, please! We're good people!

Shut up, Recep! You're making him angrier!

Oh, God! I don't know what he's doing,
man! Just look at him!

They're heretics, Recep! Look!
They're worshiping that!

Nurullah! That man looks like me!

-Yeah, he does, Recep!
-Is he someone special?

-He might be since he's so up high!
-I have an idea, Nurullah.

I'll take my chances!

If I succeed, we'll be okay.
If I don't, it's "Hakuna Matata".

What the hell does that mean?

It means we're screwed big time.

Enough!

Look at that! Come on. Look at it!
Do you see what it is?

Now, look at me.
Look at him first and then me.

See?

He's just like me. That's me.

Sokachu?

-What? What does Sokachu mean?
-It might be his name.

Yeah, his name might be Sokachu.

Untie me and I'll show you
how much we look alike.

-Sokachu?
-Yeah, Sokachu. Untie me.

Yeah, whatever. Untie me.

Watch this. See?

Do you see now? I'm Sokachu.

Sokachu. I'm Sokachu.

Yeah. Yeah, it's me.
That's right. I'm Sokachu.

Yep, that's me. Sokachu.

Sokachu!

They believe you, Recep. We made it!

I hope so, Nurullah.
Oh, please, stop kneeling.

He's lying! He's not Sokachu!

No, I am! I'm Sokachu. I've proved it!
Look, it's the same! I'm Sokachu!

No!

According to the legend,
Sokachu has an animal!

Okay, so do I! Here's my animal!
He's my animal. My private animal.

He's a creature with a human's body
and an animal's torso.

-You're being rude!
-Shut up!

Rude? We're about to be killed here.
You're an animal.

That's how we should trust each other.
I'm relieved. I'm Sokachu.

You're lying!

Sokachu can perform miracles.
If you're Sokachu, then prove it.

All right, okay. I'll prove it.
Why wouldn't I prove it, huh?

Tomorrow! Till the sunset!

Otherwise, you're going to die!

What's happening? Hey!

Hey! Bring my animal! Bring my animal!

Hey!

Hey, easy! Easy!

Don't treat us like animals!

Look at us, Nurullah.
We were put into this dump!

At least we're alive, thank God.
They almost cut us into pieces.

They will if you don't perform
a miracle by tomorrow.

Shut up. Shut up!

Don't drive me crazy!
Get something to eat out of your bag.

-It's not here.
-Where is it?

-Where we passed out.
-Why didn't you take it with you?

How could I? I passed out.

-For God's sake, man!
-But I have my cellphone and the charger.

Then plug it in.
Is there any electricity here, you moron?

There's no signal either!
Good for you to take it with you!

We'd generate electricity from potatoes
at secondary school.

I didn't pay attention.
I quit school after the 3rd grade.

After learning how to read and write,
my education was over.

That was enough for me. The only thing
I know about potatoes are potato prints.

In summer, I used to work with a forger
making fake documents with potato prints.

Look around.

This place is like a warehouse.
There must be something to eat.

-Anything we can eat. Look around.
-Will do, Recep.

Here we go.

-Recep, come here.
-What is it?

-There's something to eat.
-Quiet!

-Come on!
-Be quiet!

-What is it?
-Look.

-What's this?
-We can cook them on the fire!

Are you stupid? We can't eat them.

They're carrier pigeons.

Take one of them
and come inside right now. Got it?

Take one and come inside.

Come here.

Now, this is the bird
that will save our lives, Nurullah.

And you're talking about eating it!

We'll attach a note to its leg
and let it go.

They'll find us thanks to it.

I hope they will.

But how are we supposed to write?
I wish we had a pen and a paper.

I have a pen and a paper, Recep.

God bless you man! Okay, take them out.

-Give me it.
-Here.

Easy, girl. You're okay. It's nothing.

Don't be afraid, birdie.

Okay. Me, Nurullah the coffeehouse owner
and my friend Recep İvedik got lost.

-We got lost.
-Stop.

We're in Africa. Stop. Somewhere in Kenya.

-Somewhere in Kenya.
-Find us. Stop.

-Stop.
-Help!

-Help.
-Okay.

Roll it. Come on, roll it.

Attach it to the bird's leg. Come on.

-Is it done?
-It's done.

All right. Now this bird
will deliver our message

and then they'll find us, Nurullah.

-How will the bird find the address?
-Oh, you're right.

Pigeons find their way by smell.
It needs to smell something familiar.

What are we going to do?

We need to show it
something unique to Güngören.

-I have an idea.
-What is it?

-What do we have most in our neighborhood?
-I don't know.

What does your wife hang?
She shoos away the birds

-to prevent them pooing on what?
-Clothes.

Yes, clothes,
but more importantly, your underwear.

The neighborhood's full of your underwear
just like you're wearing.

If we let the bird smell it,
it'll find your underwear at home.

-Take off your underwear.
-No way.

-Take it off!
-Definitely not!

It's a matter of life and death!
Take it off!

Take it off and bring it. I'm not
interested in your dirty underwear!

Do it somewhere secluded.
Goddamn it, what a body!

Go, go. Go, quickly!
Okay, give me the underwear.

Give me it. Goddamn you, what underwear!

Smell it girl.
Come on, smell the underwear.

You'll find headquarters.

You'll go to Güngören
and deliver our message.

Come on, smell it. Smell the underwear.

Okay, take it!

Okay, now go and deliver our message.
Give us our freedom!

I'm praying to God
and sending you now. Now, go!

Great! The bird died
because of your dirty underwear!

Its lungs were ruined.
It couldn't cope with the smell.

Hello!

-Someone's here.
-Hello!

Hello.

Hello, brother.

We have time till tomorrow.
Why are you here?

Guys, I've brought you something to eat.

Thank you. You should've brought
something to drink, too.

We're about to die of thirst.

Thank you so much.

I believe you. You're Sokachu.
Prove it to my father. Perform a miracle.

-Your father?
-My father's the chief.

-Your father is the Chief?
-Yes.

Then would you talk to your father
about letting us go? We're good people.

He'll let you go,
but first you need to perform a miracle.

Go on! Convince him to let us go.
Go on, man, for your necklace's sake!

Talk to him and convince him to let us go.

-Let me tell you something.
-What?

Just eat. Come on. Eat it.

Goddamn you!

Just eat!
Thank you, we didn't know that! Idiot!

Stupid rich boy. He's got money
and everything else, but no brain!

Recep, what are you doing?
Why are you making a noise?

-Shut up, you idiot!
-What's that?

I've made a charger
for that useless phone of yours!

I've even attached
electric coils behind it.

It's called knowledge
of math and mechanics!

Give me the phone.

Take a seat, come on! Quick!

Wait for my signal. Don't touch it. Don't!

You got it? It's a mechanical device.

Okay, now spin it.

Come on, spin the wheels. Spin faster!

It's all I can do!

Come on, Spin it! Faster!

It's not working. Stop!

Here, hold it.

Should I do it myself?
Should I do the spinning myself?

Am I supposed to invent it and spin it?

-Are you trying to kill me?
-Shut up!

Shut up!

-I can't do it, man.
-Shut up!

-Listen to me.
-What?

-Let me know when we have electricity.
-Got it.

-Then I can adjust the voltage.
-Okay.

-You got it?
-Got it.

-Don't make me spin it for nothing.
-Okay.

Okay, here we go.

More power to my elbow!

I'm starting.

-Hit it.
-Here we go.

Spin it, man! Come on!

Do we have any electricity?

-No, man.
-Don't we have any yet?

-Keep spinning Recep. Come on!
-Anything yet?

Now we have it! The phone's charging now!

-I'm increasing the voltage!
-Keep going, man!

-I'm trying man! I'm getting tired!
-Don't stop! Come on!

-Come on Recep!
-Is the phone on?

Almost there man, keep going!

What a crap phone! Why isn't it working?

It's on now, man!

Send a message
to the first number you see!

-A message from the embassy.
-Send our location to the embassy!

-I'm sending the location.
-Send it right now, Nurullah!

I'm sending it, buddy!

Oh, something's happened!
It's malfunctioning!

-Goddamn it, man! What happened?
-It's out of my control, man!

-Damn, the camera is on now!
-Why the camera?

-Something happened to the phone!
-Why did turn it on?

It's out of my control!

-Did you send it?
-It's taking photos by itself!

Send it!

-Send it!
-Damn!

I've sent something but I don't know what.

-The screen is frozen!
-I said send it!

-Send it!
-Damn it!

Oh, I can't hold the phone, man! Oh, crap!

-What are you doing?
-I can't hold it. It's too hot!

Screw you and your phone!

REPUBLIC OF TURKEY
THE CONSULATE GENERAL OF KENYA

I didn't expect it from you, Ersin.

How could you leave
Turkish citizens alone in the jungle?

It happened the way I told you.

Sir, we found these clothes and this bag.
They must belong to them.

The bag belongs to them.
The short guy carried it all the time.

They set up a camp
near the west border of the Savanna.

-We found these there.
-So they might be alive.

I hope they are.

Sir, they probably know
about survival in the wild.

Sir.

-I have good news, sir.
-What is it?

We received some messages last night.

The signal was received
from a forest near Uganda,

at the west side of Kenya.

We're trying to pinpoint
the exact location right now.

They're alive.

Let go of me!

You! Perform a miracle,
or you're going to die.

Damn, man! Why are you so angry?

I told you I'd do it, didn't I?

And I will. Tell them to stay down.
I'll perform any miracle you want.

What are you going to do?

I'm going to show them some tricks
I learned at primary school.

They might not know them since
they live here. I think they'll buy it.

Let's start, shall we?

Watch this. Look at my fingers.
Watch carefully.

-See? How about that?
-It's not a miracle!

Both my hands are in my pockets.

-How about that?
-What's this?

Here's another one. Are you watching?

Perform a miracle!

Chief, I'm going to disappear
behind this cloth suddenly.

Do you know how it's possible?
Because it's a miracle. Watch this.

One.

Two.

Three.

I haven't met him before.
Do I know you? No.

And he doesn't speak our language.
Watch this carefully. It'll be a miracle.

Oh, an egg! Where did it come from?
Oh! How did it come out of his head?

Choose one of the tricks!

Get ready for the miracle.
Lift it. Come on.

Are you watching carefully?

Why did you drop it?
Did I tell you to drop it?

You jerks! Did I tell you to drop it?

You ready? Watch this.

What? You didn't like it?
What's happening?

You're going to die if there's no miracle.

Come on, Chief, show us some mercy.

I've performed many miracles and you won't
accept any of them. It's not fair!

What did you tell me yesterday?
You said we have till tomorrow at sunset.

It's not over yet.
The sun's still in the sky.

You gave me your word. What kind of a man
would you be if you didn't keep your word?

Be a man of your word.

I've still got time to perform a miracle,
don't I?

Stop saying that we're going to die.

-Be patient.
-What are you going to do?

I have an idea.
Do you see that stooping man?

-Yeah.
-I'll help him straighten up

using Mehmet's technique.

At least I'll try.

Chief, I'm going to perform
a miracle for you now, okay?

But I need someone.
I need him. Come here. Come on.

Good. This guy is stooping. Like this.
And I'll help him straighten up, okay?

What's he doing here? Is he a sorcerer?

I'll help the sorcerer straighten up.
Do you accept the miracle or not?

-No, don't let him do it.
-Shut up!

Don't stick your nose into everything!

Chief, don't let them talk like that.
You're the Chief, use your influence.

Will you accept it?

Will you accept it as a miracle
if he straightens up?

Okay. This is your last chance.

Okay Chief. I'm here to perform a miracle
to prove that I'm Sokachu.

As you can see,
this guy's a seasoned sorcerer.

Are you alright? Are you?
See the way he's breathing?

He's breathing like a horse!
He's in pain and I'll relieve his pain.

Lay down. Come on.
All right. Watch this carefully, Chief.

Pull, pull him up!
Okay, stabilize the rope.

Stabilize it. All right. Chief, this guy
has a slipped disk in his lower back.

There's a compression between the disks
and I'll treat him.

I'm going to use gravitational pull,
discovered by Newton. Now, he's hanged.

Easy. Relax.

All right, great.

All right, I'll help him
straighten up using this.

Are you ready?
Okay, one two, three. Here we go.

I hope your technique works, Mehmet.

Now, from here.
And I'm going to pull him a little bit.

All right, pull him down.

All right, get up. Stand up.

Oh, hey, stand up now. How is your back?
Are you feeling better?

Aren't you feeling better?
One, two, three. Here we go.

All right.

How are you now?

Did you see that?

We did it! We did it, man!
That's how it's done!

Sokachu! Sokachu!

You! Sokachu!

Welcome to the Nahu Tribe,
your homeland and your first home!

This necklace is the necklace for bravery.

Keep it
and don't let anyone take it from you.

A cheap necklace. Made of tin.

This helmet will show your strength.
From now on, you're one of us.

Welcome aboard!

Sokachu! Sokachu! Sokachu! Sokachu!

Sokachu! Sokachu! Sokachu! Sokachu!

Goddamn you! What the hell is this for?
What the hell is the spitting for, huh?

Goddamn all of you! It's unacceptable.

No! Don't you dare!

No! Get out of here! Get out!

I'm Sokachu
and I'm constantly being spat in the face!

Dude, spitting is a demonstration
of affection for us.

It's a kind of welcome.

What kind of welcome is that?
Screw being Sokachu!

It's unacceptable! As Sokachu,
from this moment on I'm banning spitting!

It's my first action as Sokachu!
No more spitting!

Take it and eat it. It's nice.

No, thank you. I'm not hungry, thanks.

No, you should.
This is sacred food. It's good. Eat it.

Oh, dear God. What's this?

It's great food. Eat it.

I'll trust you on this.

Let's taste it. It'd be rude not to.

Okay, here we go.

Oh, I know what it is. I know it.
Here. Have some.

Eat it and you'll know what it is. I know.

Its name is on the tip of my tongue.
What is it?

-It's rhino.
-Yeah, I knew it. It's rhino.

I knew it was rhino.

I was about to say that. I was going
to say it's an ethnic animal, a rhino.

It tastes like rhino meat.

An ethnic taste, you know. A rhino. Good.

-What is it? Rhino steak or something?
-It's the rhino's organ.

Which organ? An internal one?

Rhino's big organ.

-Is it rib steak?
-It's rhino penis.

-Penis?
-Yeah, rhino penis.

The rhino's...?

-Yeah, it's good. Eat.
-It's good.

Goddamn all of you!
Goddamn you all! Take it!

Screw being Sokachu! Give me a drink.

It got stuck. The rhino's penis
got stuck in my throat. Give it to me!

I swear I'm about to throw up.
This is so good. What's this?

It's ugamba mugamba.

Yeah, ugamba mugamba? What's that?

Ugamba means white bat.

So you named the drink white bat. Cool.

No, it's ugamba mugamba. Ugamba means
white bat and mugamba means piss.

So, it means white bat's piss.
It's good for your health.

Goddamn you all!
Take it! What kind of people are you?

There are other animal parts, you know,
other than rhino penis and bat's piss!

Give me some fruit so I can forget it!

I'm going to eat fruit only, nothing else!

-Fruit only!
-Yeah, fruit!

That's how it started.

We were going to go to Konya,
but ended up here.

Here's the result. Do we look alike?

-Do we?
-Hey, hey, hey!

What are you doing?

You scared me! What are you doing here?

Let's get out of here,
since they believe that you're Sokachu.

Yeah, let's go and fall prey to lions
and other animals!

-Now we need to stay here!
-Why is that?

-Didn't you send the messages?
-I did.

If the messages were delivered
to the right people,

they'll pinpoint our location with GSM.

They'll find our location.
We need to stay here so they can find us.

-You're right, man.
-We can't go anywhere, Nurullah.

You got it, man.

By the way, I need to pee right now.

Stay here. I'm going for a pee.

Be careful.

I can't wait anymore, Zouya.
When will you talk to your father?

I can't talk to him, Songa. He says
I can't marry a man from the Nahu Tribe.

-Then I'll talk to him.
-No, Songa.

My father will kill you.

-I love you.
-What's happening?

-Who's there?
-I can't wait.

And I love you too, Songa.

Hey! Songa!

What's happening? Who's that girl?

-Nobody's here.
-Cut the bullshit.

I saw her with my own eyes.

Did you take her behind the fence
to make love? You're the man!

She's my girlfriend, man.

-So you're not fooling around?
-No, man.

Oh, now I understand.

-Who is she?
-She's one of the Hunkutus.

Who are they?

Our enemies.

-Why are you with her then?
-I love her, man. I'm in love with her.

You got me when you said love.
You're lovesick.

I know how you feel.

All right, but don't tell anyone
about this. Anyone at all!

My lips are sealed.

All right, I trust you.

Don't worry. It's our little secret.

No! No! I said no!
A Nahu can't marry a Hunkutu, Songa!

Thanks for keeping the secret!
Now I'm finished!

I did nothing. Did I tweet about it?

Did I share it on Instagram?

-I did nothing!
-Hunkutus are my enemies!

This marriage won't happen
as long as I'm alive! Never!

What I can do, Father? I love her.

-Let's go and make peace.
-Shut up! I said shut up!

It's over!

-Damn it, Father!
-Don't disrespect your father.

You're getting on his nerves.
You don't say damn it to your father.

I told you if my father knew, it would be
impossible for us to be together.

You screwed me over, man!

All right, all right. Stop whining.
Do you really love her?

-Stop it, man!
-Do you love her or not?

-I'm crazy for her.
-If you're crazy for her,

we'll go to her father
and ask permission for marriage.

If he agrees, cool. If he doesn't,
we'll make her run away with you.

But how?

We'll do a cross-border operation.
Take your best man with you.

And I'll take my humanoid animal with me.

We'll go to the Hunkutu village
at the crack of dawn.

Got it, man.

My name's Sokachu.
I won't let lovers get separated!

-All right, man.
-Whatever it takes, I'll get it done!

-Got it?
-Got it.

Gentlemen, the infiltration is successful.
You stay here.

You'll be on watch.

If we don't come back,
go to the village and let them know.

-Okay.
-You.

You go first and find the tent, Songa.
Okay? And you'll follow him.

-All right.
-Okay, good luck gentlemen.

Let's start the infiltration.
Nice and slow. Crouch. Move.

You little bastards.
All right, keep moving!

Okay. The infiltration
is successful, gentlemen.

-Now we need to find the right tent.
-I don't know which one, man.

-How could you not know?
-I don't know.

Hey! Hey! Back off!

-Come on, which tent?
-I don't know.

-I was attacked before you found the tent!
-I think she lives in a big tent.

I think so, too. So, let's try that one.
All right, infiltration number two.

Oh, look who it is.

We're so sorry. We entered by mistake.
We're looking for a woman. We're sorry.

You broke into my house!

Nahus!

Nahus!

I'm going to kill you!

Look, pal, we didn't break in
intentionally. It was a mistake.

How could we know you were inside?

We wouldn't have broken in
if we'd known, believe me.

We wouldn't break in
to see your shitty face!

You're disgusting.
Look, stop talking about killing us.

Don't talk about it or you'll be sorry.

This guy's the chief's son.
He's Songa, the chief's son.

Don't even dare to touch us,
or I'll bring thousands of men here!

Be smart. Don't lay a finger on us.

We're not alone!
What do you think we are, huh?

Here they come! What happened?

You seem surprised!
Now the shoe is on the other foot!

Easy!

Oh, what happened?
Why did you stop ranting and raving?

See? They're brave and they're here.

We're Nahu. We're the people
you shouldn't mess with. Got it?

Watch your step!

-What's going on here?
-We came here for a good cause, Chief,

but we were mistreated.
Don't worry, though. I'll talk to them.

Okay. Chief of the Hunkutu, listen to me.

My name's Sokachu.
Sokachu of Nahu. Come here.

And this is my animal, my humanoid animal.
I stand where I am now for nothing.

I stand here thanks to a legend.
Behave yourselves! Now, move back.

Me and my tribe have come
to you for a good cause.

By God's will, we want to marry our son,
Songa, with your daughter...

-What's her name?
-Zouya.

Yeah, with your daughter Ziya.

-Do you agree or not?
-Zouya!

Father.

I won't let her to marry any Nahu man!

-Why?
-Nahus are cowards!

Nahus are brave!

Stop shouting!
You're giving me a headache!

First he shouts, then you!
Let's talk nicely.

-Sokachu, let's go.
-Wait a minute, Chief.

I'm going to solve this problem!

Since you think Nahus are cowards
and Hunkutus are brave...

and since you think
we don't know how to fight

and you're good fighters,
then let's take it to the ring.

Do you have the balls for it?

I'm challenging you, loud and clear,
Nahus versus Hunkutus.

Are you for or against it? Do you agree?

-Deal! But with one condition.
-What is it?

If we win, you'll forget about the girl

and that necklace will be mine.

No, Sokachu! That necklace belongs to us!

It's belonged to us for 200 years.
It's called the Soul of Jungle.

It's a cheap one, man. It's made of tin.
You think it's valuable, but it's not.

See? It's fake.
I know a guy in the Grand Bazaar.

I'll get him to make another one
and send it to you. Just calm down. Relax.

All right, deal! If you win,
the necklace will be yours.

But if we win, we'll take...
What's her name again?

-It's Zouya.
-We'll take Soya and go. Deal?

Deal!

Then I'll wait for all of you
to come to the grassland

in front of the village tomorrow.

See you tomorrow!
Behave yourselves! Let's go.

All right, today's the day.

It's the moment of truth.
From now on, we'll have to sink or swim.

This isn't about Songa's love or marriage.
We've passed that point.

This is a matter of pride and honor now.

We'll show them
what a true Nahu is made of!

We'll show them our strength,
our courage and our fighting skills!

With God's will, we'll fight
to the last drop of our blood and sweat!

We'll plant our flag in their village
and return.

Dude, we don't have a flag.

Oh, really? That's what you think, Songa.
Nurullah, show them.

From this moment on, this is our flag.

It's the "nah" gesture.

And your tribe is called Nahu.
You can't get a better flag than this one.

Let me show you how it's done.
Make a fist and then do this.

Let's try it.

Yeah, good. All right, try it.

Okay, good. Good.

You'll get better at it. At first, it was
hard for me, too. You'll get better.

-Who are we?
-Nahu!

-Who are we?
-Nahu!

-Nahu!
-Nahu! Nahu! Nahu!

-Let the games begin!
-Let them begin!

-The first game is the slapping game!
-Let's see who's stronger!

Goddamn you!

Come on, Songa! Come on!

Damn it!

Oh dear God!

Come on, Nurullah! Go get him!
Show him what a Turk is made of!

Good. Now, slap him!

Goddamn you!

You couldn't even touch him!

Look at us, outnumbered again.

All right, here we go.

Hello, brother.

You get it? Huh? Come on.

Are you ready? Hit me! Hit me!

Good.

You're tough. You hit hard.

But now you're getting a slap of
Ottoman-Nahu mix. Are you ready for it?

Watch carefully.

Nahu!

Nahu!

You didn't last long!

-That's how it's done!
-Sokachu! Sokachu! Sokachu!

Sokachu! Sokachu!

The next game is walking on fire!
Let it begin!

They've been walking on fire
since they were born? Look at them.

They chose this game
so that you can't win.

I know that,
but I'm not going to fall for it.

I'm prepared in every way,
legal or illegal, Nurullah.

Apply the mix to my feet I told you about.

-Do you think it'll work?
-It will. I saw it in a documentary.

It'll create a layer of air
beneath my feet.

And that layer will block the fire.

I'll pretend to stretch my legs. Apply it.

-Is it done?
-It's done.

Sokachu! Sokachu! It's your turn!

Wait, I'm stretching my legs.
Did you apply it?

-It's done.
-It is?

Here we go.

Here we go.

Oh my God! Nurullah!

-What happened, Recep?
-My feet got stuck!

They're getting burnt! Oh my God!

Pull! Pull it! What are you doing?

Stop it! Stop it and get out of here!
Get out of here! I don't need any of you!

I made it! That's how it's done!

Oh God! I'm slipping!
How can you stand still like that?

I'm running out of energy!

-I'm out of energy!
-No!

Here we go!

Goddamn it!

Goddamn you!

Hunkutu won't accept a tie!

Hunkutu is brave!

Marok the lord of the jungle
will break this tie!

-Marok! Marok!
-Nahu?

Do you have the guts?

Nahus fear nothing!

-We accept Marok as the tie breaker!
-Marok!

-Hey, tell me, what's Marok?
-The biggest snake in the jungle.

-An anaconda.
-Anaconda?

Yes, Sokachu, an anaconda.

Nobody trying to take its eggs
has ever survived.

No, Chief, don't accept. Don't accept it.

All right. Who will go for the Hunkutus?

-Tukumba!
-Tukumba!

Who is the Nahu contestant?

Sokachu will do it.

Why me, you idiot?
Do I have to do everything? Why me again?

I won't do it. Save your own skins.

Sokachu can't do everything himself.
It's the anaconda, Chief. I can't do it.

I can barely dealing with all the cobras.
I'm not up to it.

-Sokachu!
-Sokachu!

Sokachu will go for it!

The bravest men
from both villages will go...

and bring the eggs of Marok back
before sunset.

The one who bring the eggs first wins.

Deal! Hunkutus will win!

Hunkutu! Hunkutu! Hunkutu!

-Nahus will win!
-Nahu! Nahu! Nahu!

Hey, Songa. Where is this Marok?

Be careful, dude. It might be anywhere.

As far as I know, snakes live
under rocks or logs, in calm places.

It's a very big snake, dude! Anaconda!

Should we look by the riverside?

What riverside are you talking about?
We're in a jungle!

Oh God, it's Marok!

I'm kidding.

What's that? Holy crap!

-Are those Marok's eggs?
-Yeah. They're very big.

Damn! They have
the size of Nurullah's head!

I wonder how big the animal itself is.

It's a great snake man, an anaconda.

-Nurullah?
-What, bro?

-Do you see those eggs?
-I do.

-Go get one of them. Come on.
-I can't.

I want to hit you now!
Why are you here? You're useless!

-Come on Songa.
-I can't do it, man.

Goddamn you two! Why did you come with me?

To see the jungle?
Do I have to do everything myself?

Give it to me!

Listen to me. I'm going over there now.

If you detect any danger,
you'll rush to help me.

-Got it.
-Got it?

-Got it, Recep.
-Don't leave me alone.

-You got it, buddy.
-It's critical.

You'll come to help me
as soon as you detect any danger.

-Okay.
-Promise?

-Promise.
-You have my word.

Here we go.

-It's not here, guys.
-Come on, man! Take the eggs!

Take the eggs, buddy!

It's not here. The snake's not here.

Dude, it might be anywhere!
It's too dangerous. Come on!

Nurullah! Look at the eggs, man!

-Come on dude! Just take them!
-Take a look, Nurullah.

I mean, it's perfect for...

an omelet with butter. Think about it.

It's in a pan and you can dip
the bread into the omelet.

-It's perfect for omelet.
-Forget the omelet!

No need to be afraid. Stop exaggerating.
It left its eggs here and went away.

Who knows where it is now?

It might be after other snakes to do it...
You get the point. It's gone.

Take the eggs, man! It's no joke!

It probably uses the place as a cathouse.
It's not its home.

-It drops by now and then.
-It's a nest! Come on!

I heard something.

-Get back, please!
-I hear something.

Come on! Get back here!

-Marok.
-Get back with the eggs!

-It's no joke, man!
-Marok, come here, boy.

-Come on!
-It's not here.

-Oh my God!
-Don't just stand there! Help me!

Hey! I said help me! Help! Help! Help me!

-Oh my God!
-Dear God, help him!

-Oh my God!
-Come here and help me!

-It's taking him!
-Help me!

I said help me!

-Buddy!
-Help!

It's taking him inside!

Run, quick!

Songa!

Where's Sokachu?

Father, we found the eggs,
but Marok attacked us.

It took Sokachu into its nest.
We couldn't save him. He's gone!

Is he dead?

It took him into its nest!
We couldn't stop it!

Damn it, Sokachu!

Forgive me Zouya! I will always love you!

The Nahu warrior is absent.

The Hunkutu has brought an egg.

The winner is Hunku...

Sokachu!

Sokachu! Sokachu! Sokachu! Sokachu!

Sokachu! Sokachu!

-Sokachu! Sokachu!
-Move away!

You asked for its eggs and
here's Marok itself, gentlemen.

I've brought some of its eggs, too,
in case you need them.

You can make omelets with them.

So, the winner is Nahu!

So, Hunkutu Chief,
I've done what I had to.

Now it's your turn. Let's see
if you give permission for the marriage.

Hunkutus are true to their word.
Sokachu has won.

Zouya is allowed to marry.

You need to say my daughter Ziya
is allowed to marry Songa of Nahu.

Let's hear it.

-She's allowed to marry Songa of Nahu.
-That's what I'm talking about!

Let's have the wedding ceremony tomorrow
if both the chiefs agree. What do you say?

-I agree.
-And you?

I do, too.

You're all invited to the wedding
in Nahu village tomorrow!

Sokachu! Sokachu! Sokachu! Sokachu!

Isn't the foam too much?

No, it's perfect.
That's how you shave a groom.

And it's done!

What's this?

What's this?

You can't play with it! It says dynamite!
Get out of here! Get out!

It's unacceptable!
What kind of bullshit is this?

Oh my God! Oh, dear God!

Where should I throw it?
It's about to explode! Damn!

It's going to explode in my hand!

Nurullah! It's going to explode
in my hand! Oh God!

It was the only thing that hadn't
exploded in my ass, dynamite!

It's unacceptable!
You always scurry around!

Where the hell have you been? Where?

All right, brothers and sisters.
I'm going to say some hard things.

You all scurried around
when you saw the dynamite.

It's unacceptable.

What happened to your fighting skills
and your ranting and raving?

Are you afraid of dynamite?

Thanks to the well, nothing happened.

And you can thank me
for covering the well.

I sat on it to absorb the pressure
and the dynamite exploded in my ass.

Did I have to do this?

Anyway, I won't insult you
before the couple anymore.

Today, we're here for a happy event.

We're going to celebrate
the marriage of this couple.

Now I'm going to ask the Hunkutu chief,
do you give permission?

I do.

-The Nahu chief, do you give permission?
-I do.

As Sokachu, now I pronounce you man
and wife by the authority vested in me

by the two tribes.

That's how it's supposed to be done.

Nurullah, do you see what I'm seeing now?

I do, man!

-Is that the Turkish flag?
-It is!

Oh God, we made it!
We made it, Nurullah! They've arrived!

The Turks have arrived!

Oh, God, they're Turkish soldiers!

Chief, they're ours!
Don't worry. It's okay!

Let's go, Nurullah! Come on!

They really are Turkish soldiers,
Nurullah!

God bless you, sir! Thank you so much!

Are you Recep İvedik
and Nurullah Sağlam?

-We are.
-We're Turkish soldiers.

We're here to send you back to Turkey
by order of our embassy.

Thank you so much!
But, sir, we've been here too long.

We have something to finish.

We'll finish it and get back to you
if that's okay.

It's okay. We'll wait for you
now that we've found you.

You're the man!
Way to go, Turkish soldiers!

Let's go, Nurullah.

Dear brothers and sisters,
I have to tell you something important.

I'm not Sokachu.

My name is Recep İvedik.
We're not who you think we are.

We lied to you because we thought
you would kill us. But I'm glad we lied.

Am I right? The conflict
between the two tribes has ended.

Two people who love each other
have got married.

It's great, right?

It doesn't matter being Sokachu,
my friends.

What matters is being human.

Now, I want to return
this beautiful necklace,

given to me when I became Sokachu,
to its true owner.

If the young couple would step forward.

I want to give this necklace named
Soul of Jungle, which was given to me,

to the bride to keep forever...

for the reason that men make houses
and women make homes. Take it, dear.

Here you go.

Keep it. Pass it to your children
and your grandchildren, okay?

-Thanks, buddy. You're the man.
-Thank you, brother.

You're the man. A true gentleman.
Stay with your family.

-You got it.
-All right.

Chief. It's time to say goodbye.

Those are Turkish soldiers.

They're from our homeland.
They're here to take us back.

We have to go.

Your name's not Sokachu.

But you're the true Sokachu.

You're a brave man.

You and your friend... are good people.

Thank you.

-Thank you. I feel the same.
-You're brave. You're a great man.

Thank you. So are you.

I want to say goodbye
with your traditional moves.

No, no, no, no!

Take care and goodbye!
Come on, Nurullah. Let's go.

Sokachu! Sokachu! Sokachu! Sokachu!

Sokachu! Sokachu! Sokachu! Sokachu!

Sokachu! Sokachu!

Why are you doing this now?

Let's give them a proper answer, Nurullah.

Take care!

Goodbye!

-Nurullah?
-Yeah?

-Do you know what we forgot?
-What?

-A wedding ceremony without halay...
-Isn't a ceremony.

That's right brother.

Come on!