Real World (1992) - full transcript

Real World
San Francisco Season 29

I know we had fun.

We did a lot of things
that they didn't show.

-I hope you got that.
-Why?

I don't know why
they didn't air it.

That was quality.

That was... I don't know
why they didn't air that.

Look into my eyes.

There were so many times
where I was just like,

why and what am I doing?

Oh, my God.



Yeah, we had some
good times out there.

We had some fun out there.

There was so much...
There was so much dumb shit.

I wish they would've shown.

Oh, my gosh, I remember...
This was hilarious.

We went to a burlesque show,
and they had an air-hump

competition.

And Arielle, of course,
entered it, and then finally,

we convinced Jay to go
downstairs and do it with her,

to be a partner with her.

Jay would be the last person
that I would expect to be on

that stage doing anything.

But here he was,
getting practically

air-ed by Arielle, yeah.



Arielle was air-Jay.

And it was intense.

Arielle wrapped a belt
around my neck at one point.

Dry-humped me, threw me to the
floor and, like, beat me.

It... it got bad.

There may have been a belt
around his neck, and I, like,

rode him in front of,
you know, 200 people.

You know, there's nothing
more embarrassing than being

manhandled like that,
though, you know.

I think Jay's manhood
is still on the stage.

She won.
Let's... let's clarify.

We won first place.

-You win a beautiful hitachi...
-I won the biggest vibrator

I've ever seen in my life, ever.

A really expensive vibrator,
like, $250 one or something.

I was like, I didn't know that
they could be that expensive.

-That's cool.
-So thank you, Jay.

Well, I'll tell you
what I remember.

What I remember from this
erotic dinner is that the food

was fan... tastic, okay?

I thought what you
showed was bad enough.

This is gonna get worse?

Also in front of you is a menu
that's got a little ribbon

wrapped around it.

There is a prize at the end
of the night for the most

creative use of the ribbon.

The goal of the night, or the
game of the night,

was we got these little ribbons,
tied around our menus,

and whoever could
think of the best

spots to tie
them in would win

a prize, and the prize
was a lap dance.

We tied my ribbon... So I'm
grabbing Jamie's boob.

And she ties her ribbon on my
belt so she's, like, grabbing

my, so I can't go
to the restroom.

Like, we can't leave.
We can't walk anywhere.

Jamie and I won, so, I mean,
let me tell you this.

We started getting lap dances,
and I'll tell you how awkward

it is to have your girlfriend's
hand on your...

and then getting a lap dance.

It's a little strange.

There was some sexy topless
women there at the dinner,

I mighta had a smoochy-smooch
with a female there.

Arielle and Ashley were the
ones that were most into it.

We were pretty turned
on at this dinner.

Everybody's being touched.

...are out.
Everyone's naked.

Then me and Ashley, like, excuse
ourselves to go to the bathroom.

Oh, yeah, we just suddenly at
the same time have to pee.

Ari and Ashley.

That is hilarious.

I knew they would do something
and it's like that.

Hopefully, this isn't making Tom
too too uncomfortable.

Hell no, bro.
This is really good food.

They stopped eating their food
because they were getting

massaged or something.

I was like, get a massage,
like, all Tom wanted to talk

about was the steak.

He was like, "the steak
is really great",

I don't know
if you guys are eating.

This is just fascinating.
It's medium-rare, I love it."

I ate it all.
Like, I loved it.

There's this weird air
about that house whenever

all the lights are off and
everyone's asleep, and you're

the only one up.

It's almost eerie.

Jenny believed the house was
haunted by someone named Fred.

She was communicating with it.

And I thought
it was hilarious.

If there's a spirit in the
room, come touch my hand.

Even downstairs, where all the
producers were, apparently,

there was something
haunting downstairs too.

'Cause there were noises and,
like, names being called, but

there was nobody there.

Are there any spirits in here?

And I think everyone kind of
sensed this weird presence in

the house, and Jenny
named the ghost.

Frederick was just a name
that came out of absolutely

nowhere, like a lot of with
me, out of my ass, purely.

Can you make any of
the lanterns move?

That's weird.

Oh, my God, that... Why
did you move the one that

no one can see?

The producers had also named the
ghost that they thought was

there, and it was the same name.

They were like, "Fred."

This is weird.
So I don't know.

That's just them.
I don't know.

They're into the whole
paranormal thing together.

Do I think that there
could've possibly been a ghost

there named Fred?
Yeah, it's totally possible.

Arielle definitely tried to
egg her on a little bit.

She's like, "there's
something here," you know.

If there's somebody here...
Please show yourself.

What the?

Oh, my God!

I thought it'd be funny
to, like, play with her.

She didn't find it very
funny at all.

It wasn't it actually was
one of my worst pranks.

What's wrong with you?

Oh, the...

Oh, my God.
What the...?

You're such a g...
You can't fool me.

You cannot fool me.

I'm a paranormal investigator...

Extraordinaire.

I know, I just love
playing with you.

Gosh!

I saw you earlier.

Do you want to come
touch my hand?

I see so much stuff,
and I'm like,

"Why did they... why'd they
cut it right there?

You're just about to
show the good part."

That house brought the worst and
best out of us in many ways

a lot of really bad things
happened, a lot of bad

characteristics were
shown in everybody.

Oh, my God.

The house was disgusting.

The house was filthy.
Nobody cleaned anything.

I think at one point Jenny
actually had something growing

in the living room.

I mean, there was,
like, fruit flies.

There was one point in time
where Arielle was cleaning out

the sink 'cause it was clogged.

And she was like, "what
the hell is this?"

And, like, she kept digging
out this just matter.

I actually... no
one knows this...

I threw up in that sink.

I did.

Oh, that could have
been Tom's throw-up.

We even had the, like, the
producers, like, call and

say, "look, you guys are
cleaning the house today.

This place looks like shit.

Like, you need to
clean the house."

I think Jenny was definitely
the grossest in the house.

I know I've made some messes.

I left, like, some molding,
like, Mexican food in the front

room.

That is absolutely disgusting.

Who ate burrito and chips and
was over here sitting and

-...left their salsa?
-Most likely Jenny.

It was Jenny.
Jenny, you nasty.

Francois, the tacos, the
molding taco in the front room

that I accidentally left there
and left for, like, a few days.

Oh, my God, I can
smell it from here.

-What is it?
-Check this out.

Oh, it's... that's Jenny's
I felt like at some point

everyone in the house thought
that I never cleaned.

No, you just might not have
been watching when I cleaned.

'Cause I cleaned.

I think Jenny cleaned all of
three times in that house.

But when she did, she did
everything, and she made it

very, very clear that everybody
knew that she was cleaning.

"I'm vacuuming now."

She had the nerve to go around
and take pictures of it

when she cleaned the house.

And we were like...
"You cleaned up once.

Kudos to you."

Jenny dances like it's
some sort of sport.

This girl is a performer.

She's, like,
ballet and tap and

spinning around and
kicking her leg up.

You're like, "oh, my God,
give this girl space."

I think dancing was just a way
for us to get the crazy out.

I love to dance.
Like, that's how I get down.

I've been dancing
since I was, like...

I don't know, I think

I danced out of my mom's womb.

I think I'm the best twerker.

I got a lot of juice
and meat to work with.

Jenny's got more meat
to throw around.

You know, she's got something in
the back to really make it move.

-Here you go.
-No, Jay, no.

The Booty, not the hips.

Put your hands on
your knees and do it.

Yeah, Jay!

I think I'm pretty
good for a white girl.

I think I can twerk
a little bit.

Arielle couldn't twerk, so she
had to go upside-down to twerk.

So she twerked upside-down.

There was a lot of twerking
in the house though.

Like, I-I-I can't do it.

Like, my butt's not flabby,
so I can't just shake it.

I tried though.
I got on my tippy toes.

Get it, Tom.

He ain't got no Booty though.

He ain't got no Booty though.

Nope.

So one day Arielle took
us to her voguing class.

The vogue class was fun.

I think the guys were
the stars of the show.

I don't really know what
voguing is, other than, like,

you move your arms and...
I don't even know how to

explain it, but it's, like,
weird hand motions and, like,

framing of the face.

It... like, some just...
Pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft.

It was not an amateur
voguing class.

These people knew how to vogue,
and we're all sitting there

looking like idiots.

Look, I am not ashamed to say
that I cannot hold my liquor.

Oh, my God, she was
such a sloppy drunk.

It was great.

And it doesn't take a lot
for Arielle to get drunk.

Like, two beers literally.

Maybe two.
Possibly two.

And then from then on
it's just blackness.

Well, Bambi legs is the first
indicator to a drunken night.

When she would drink
basically, she would just,

like... her legs would
give out on her.

Like, she would be so wobbly
and so, like, bubbly.

She's very giddy.

She's very like, "oh, my God,
oh, my God, let's do that.

Let's jump on the counter
and dance, ha, ha, ha."

The next thing I know is
you hear this huge thud.

And you just see... and I
look over, and Arielle's not

on the counter anymore.

I don't wanna be the
grown-up at all times.

And I just can't hold my liquor.
Shit...

My name is almond milk.

We had no music.

We couldn't go there and turn
the radio on and listen to

a song.

What we did was made up our
own songs so we could sing.

Sometimes out of boredom,
creativity is born.

Videotape this.

Almond milk is my alter ego.

She is by far the best rapper
San Francisco's ever seen.

Real World San Francisco
Season 29

We say we won't drink tonight,

but it happens every time.
I'm almond milk.

Ashley's Chestnut.

Together we're two nuts.

Chestnut's good to, like...
Like, the, like, hype woman in

the background.

Jenny's the rapper.

I'm just the one that
stands there like this.

My name is Chestnut.
I don't got a gut.

-Wow.
-I got a big butt oh, God.

I can't rap, come on.

What y'all know about
almond milk and Chestnut?

The album drops may 2014.
You already know.

Yo, this is almond milk.

And my favorite songs I like
to sing are shakin' titties.

Shakin' titties

Shakin' titties, hey, hey

Shakin' titties

Hey, hey don't
forget to shake

your ass with it.
That one was fun.

I'm not even gonna lie.

I wanna see your nipples
Shakin' titties

Pull that bra
down and show

the girls...
We shake our titties.

Shakin' titties.

Who does not like to see
a pair of titties shakin'.

Salsa and cilantro,
that was another one.

That was... that was
one of my favorites.

Ci, ci, ci, cilantro. Hey now.
Ci, cilantro in my salsa.

I say what now...
She was making food or

something, and we were just...
We just were bored, and I think

it just all became a thing.

Salsa and cilantro.
Salsa and cilantro.

And the onion

And, and the tomato and, and,
and and then, like, it slowly

moved away from the kitchen
into the, like, cell phone room

or whatever.

And by that point,
I'm doing African dances.

Salsa and cilantro.
Salsa... it was just weird.

It was just probably the best
moment ever in the house though.

Pepper, tomato, tomato...
And pepper, and pepper...

Okay, Jenny's birthday song for
Brian, it was a sweet gesture.

Can't actually sing happy

birthday'cause
it's copy... whatever.

I had to write a new song.

And I had to make sure I wrote
it down for everyone so they

wouldn't it up, because they
had to memorize it 'cause

it's a new song.

And I had to make sure that
everybody was on point.

We were gonna just support
Jenny, support Brian, that's it.

None of us wanted to sing it.

I don't even think Tom
looked at what it was.

Can't remember how the
song went though.

Brian!
Brian, we're singing to you.

Brian!

Totally missed the action.

What happened?

I feel like Brian was
probably more awkwarded out

in the situation because we all
started singing some random song

to the dude.

And he was just like, "what?"

I was probably being
a brat, you know?

From us to you Happy Birthday.
One year older it's true.

One year older you grew.
Now make a wish.

Blow out the candles whoo!

Whoo.

-I wrote that song just for you.
-Thank you, sir.

Happy Birthday.

I think everybody in the
nation that watches this

is obsessed with Jenny's boobs.

You don't know how many times
I get a day, "are those real

or fake?"

Ashley loved my boobs.

She did.

She did, but who couldn't?
How could you not love my boobs?

-I love my boobs.
-She seduced me.

It was those boobs, you know?

Those fake boobs.

It was... it was like a guy
with money, but she just has

the money on her chest.

I'm just kidding.

She was always grabbing Jenny's
boobs or talking about

Jenny's boobs or trying
to see Jenny's boobs.

Now we're halfway in.

No, girl, we are not
getting all the way naked.

I am naked underneath this.

You're not, so no.

They're both, like,
crazy, wild girls.

I could see it being, like, you
know, like, they get drunk

one night and just being like...

Like, it just, like, everybody's
naked, they're going at it,

and they wake up in the morning
like, "what happened?"

"I don't know.
It was just weird."

You're not gonna
show that, are you?

Girl...

It was an innocent shower.
We just wanted to gossip.

Let me wash your boobies.

That's my story and
I'm sticking to it.

Okay, we both have boobs
that are, "oh, my God."

On blast.

Oh.

Oh, okay, confessional's over.

Tom is very flatulent
at all times.

Did you fart, and I
just walked into it?

Yes.

He'll just let it rip.

I mean, he doesn't care.

-What the hell is that?
-Shot time, you, bro.

I got you.

No, the smell though.

Tom.

You cannot get away from it.

It's bad.

Excuse me.

Tom passes gas on a regular
basis, but Arielle blows up

the bathroom.

Like, I don't know why but my
body, like, it's just... there's

a dead person that
lives inside there.

Every time I go into a
bathroom, he just comes out.

Sometimes I went in there
thinking somebody sold their ass

to the devil.

I thought people with
smelly, you know, they're

usually overweight because
it's getting stuck in their

intestines.

'Cause that's how I stay
thin, is I everything out.

That's good.

Arielle blew up the
bathroom every day, man.

You couldn't... like, there was
at least a 15-minute warning

before and after.

And I think at one point,
like, one of the producers

walked by and was
like, "oh, my God.

Who?"

And they're like,
"it's Arielle."

He's like, "oh."

I'm a shit.

My name's Arielle,
and I am a shit.

Arielle is the
best pranker ever.

I've never seen anyone pull off
a prank as well as Arielle.

Dude shows up at our door.

-Hello?
-Sup, bro?

Hey, I'm Kyle, the new roommate.

He has the necklace on, the
mic and everything, so I'm

like, okay, I can see this.

All the guys wanted,
like, a hot chick.

Okay, I won't complain if
there's a hot chick who walks

in the door and says,
"I'm the new roommate.

Cool, whatever."

But there was this fat dude
that walked up in here.

So this is your roommate, Jenny.
She's gonna be your roommate.

Jenny, hey.

He just comes in.

He's putting his, like, finger
in the peanut butter and just

licking it.

He's, like, flicking
his boogers.

Cory and I were playing pool.

He walks by and just puts our
pool balls into the pool holes,

and we're like, "what the
fuck is wrong with this kid?"

Right?

Bro, what the is
wrong with you, bro?

I mean, I feel like mtv chooses
decent-looking people,

you know?

He... he basically was like,
"oh, yeah, okay, so we just...

You know, we're cool, we're big,
we walk around without shirts,"

and just takes his shirt off.

Sorry, it's just so hot.
Had to be like this guy here.

Ooh, the tee off, baby.
You got the man boobs going.

You know what I'm saying?
Let those boys hang.

Kyle went over-the-top and
got everybody in that house

sitting there scratching
their head like, "holy.

Maybe we shoulda actually
stuck with Ashley."

I think it was just perfect.

Everything that he did... my...
Like, I loved when he just

started throwing her
stuff out of their room.

Just... just beautiful.

Like, academy award, Kyle.

I remember thinking, Cory's
gonna beat the outta

this kid, like, in five minutes.

Just don't throw any punches.

No, I'm just gonna drive his
ass crazy so he leaves.

I should have let it go on for
a little bit longer, but,

again, I didn't see any point
in having my friend, like,

get beat in the face.

Before we take this shot,
I have something to say.

What, miss peacemaker?

This is my good
friend from Oakland.

He doesn't actually live here.

Cheers!

Cory's passed out, and
here's the thing.

You cannot pass out
with your shoes on.

I learned that from
King Bro Tom himself.

So if you fall asleep with your
shoes on, you're fair game

to be with.

So there were tampons.

Light bulb.

I think I eventually
just noticed

something on me,
and I was like,

"don't do that, stop."

And then I saw them doing it to
Cory, and I got pissed 'cause

I was still kinda drunk.

Tom got pissed off because we
were messing with Cory 'cause

it's his bro.
Stream of tears.

So we throw the tampons... like,
we place them all over Cory,

like on his pants and,
like, on his face.

Arielle... Good prankster, man.

Cory was very easy to prank.
He was very easy to scare.

It's hilarious.

If you catch him off-guard
is when it's great.

So basically there's a part in
the aquarium where you can,

like, touch, um, stingrays.

So I go in, and I'm a little bit
nervous 'cause, you know, it's

a stingray and whatnot.

He put his... he put his finger
in to touch the stringray,

and as soon as he touched
the stingray I grabbed him,

and he literally jumped.

"Ahhh!"

It's amazing.

Yeah, when I scream, I
scream like a girl.

I think everyone saw it.

I got scared, you know?

It was like on the
rock-a-boat or whatever

that boat was that we went on.

Oh, my God, the whole
time, it was amazing.

I want to see the gopro footage
of that because he's in

the front, and I want to see
the footage of it 'cause I bet

he's scared for his life.

He prides him around like
a macho man and whatever,

but you know guys that are like

that, they usually have a little

soft spot inside, and he
screams like a little girl.

Here we go!

Boat trip I got to hear Cory
scream like a girl a lot when

we did inner tubing.

You know, what the girls are
saying is that they would look

back and they'd be like,
"oh, no, stop, hold on."

It was us like, "no, fuck!"

I didn't know who was screaming.
I couldn't hear myself screaming

'cause Cory was
screaming like a girl.

Tom's on this side screaming
I'm in the middle holding on

for dear life screaming
like a little girl.

The boat trip was amazing.

They showed, like, 2.5 seconds
of that, which sucked.

Skinny-dipping,
yeah, me and Jenny.

You know, hey,
we're on vacation.

I'm so lucky because of this.

Let me... We're out
here in the wild.

You know, no one's around.

It's like, let's
be Adam and Eve.

Let's take this stuff off.

Let's take it to the next level.

You know, so... We got
naked, got one with nature.

Well, we got off camera.
You guys know what that means.

But... They were Adam and Eve.
Like, I'm sure they were just

like, "let's restart
the planet."

Like, it was... I'm sure that's
what was going on up there.

I gotta do it Adam
and Eve style.

America, I have no problem
with being naked.

I'm not... no shame in my game.

Are you guys gonna show
folsom street fair?

I don't think they had any
idea what was in for them

at the folsom street fair.

The guys loved 'em.

They were getting a lot of
attention in the bear suits.

I guess it's some kind of gay
symbol actually, and the guys

didn't realize it, so guys
were coming up to them, like,

presenting themselves to them,
and they never put two and two

together.

A lot of guys walked up to Cory
and were like, "let me see

your...
Let me see the bear."

The guys handled... handled
folsom street fair pretty well.

You could tell they
were uncomfortable.

They had the kind
of nervous smiles.

Like, just, you know, like,
"yes, like, I like fur too."

We were a hit.

Like, I've never, like, taken
so many pictures with people.

Like, literally we would just
walk and everybody, "can we take

a picture?
Can we take a picture?"

It was a leather party,
and we wore furry bear outfits,

but it worked.

The guys, they wore the bear
suits and the wolf suit.

That left me with nothing.

I will serve and protect.

Okay?

My socks.

They do come up
to the middle...

Brian basically
walked around

naked.

Little tighty-whiteys
and a blazer.

And one of the funniest times
ever was him on the bus.

He's like, "uh, I'm sorry."

Standing in front of these three
old women with his, like,

his junk straight out.

Like, you can see his..., but
I guess behind whatever

boxers he's wearing.

And he's, like, literally
sitting there with his...

in these women's
faces, and we're

all just sitting there dying.

Yeah, yeah.

I remember a moment on the bus,
I was trying to figure out

a place to stand, and my
genitals happened to just be

right in everybody's
face, you know?

But so some guy finally got up
and let him sit down, because

it was just that awkward.

He was bouncing around
in tighty-whiteys.

Welcome to San Francisco.

Hannah is my best friend.
She's my ride-or-die bitch.

Oh, my God.

Don't let me go.

This is Hannah.

-Tom.
-What's up, Hannah?

It's nice to finally meet you.

Cory, Hannah.
It's nice to meet you.

I remember her, like, walking
right up to Jamie and me looking

at Tom and just
going like, "six."

We had a... seven.

-You changing now?
-Yep.

I'm gonna stick
with my first one.

She's not a 6.5.

I don't know why the
they said that.

They're crazy.

They are not one to talk either.

They've no room to talk.

6.5 my ass.

She had already, like, seen
pictures of Cory, so she already

had her eye on him.

She was just like,
"okay, I see you."

So as soon as she got into the
house, her and Cory hit it off

immediately.

Definitely there was
an attraction there.

I know... I mean, I heard that
they made out a couple times.

Apparently rumors were going
around that they slept together,

but I know that didn't
happen because I went and

blocked them because they were
trying to do it on my bed.

Whoa, not in my room, no.

Your bed.

No.

No, get out of my bed.

Sorry, sorry, dude.

No, no, Hannah!

Jamie comes in, "uh-uh,
nuh-uh, get out of my room!

I am not having you
guys on my bed.

Uh-uh, that's not happening."

I'm like, "Jamie, come on,
take one for the team."

Like... like, "come on, man,
help me out, help me out."

And, uh, yeah, so she c.B.'Ed
on that one definitely.

Apparently some
bow-chicka-wow-wow happened in

the confessional.

I don't know...

I'm not gonna say because
I don't know exactly

what happened.
I just know they made out.

Get him.
Deeper.

Get him, Jamie, get him.
Get him.

Please show that.

Tom got the biggest atomic
wedgie I've ever seen in my

life, and he doesn't
remember it.

I was the one that started the
wedgie with Tom, but I was

making it an innocent
little like, "oh, wake up."

You know, "I'm gonna
pull your boxers up."

That has to hurt, babe.

Don't you call me "babe."

And secondly, it doesn't hurt.

Turns out to be something
like, "oh, I can't feel it,"

'cause competition between
me and Tom is ridiculous all

the time.

Basically me and Hannah were
like, "all right, you're gonna

feel this."

She takes the loop from the
bottom all the way to the

waistband, and we just make it
like little handles on either

side.

And we pick him up off the
bed from either side.

She takes one side, I take
the other, and we just rip.

The camera guy, like, panicked.

He looked at it and was radioing
in like, "do I tape this?

Do I not tape this?
What do I do?

What am I... do I... I
don't wanna look at this.

What am I supposed...
what's happening?"

And the next morning, let me
tell you what, I felt it.

I had burns in the butt
cheeks and everything.

The next morning, he comes up
to me and he's like, "Jamie,

what happened?"

And I was like, "what
are you talking about?"

And he was like, "my
butthole hurts so bad."

He had no clue, but he
knew his butt hurt.

Wait, I have to put it back.

Let's go, let's go.

Honestly, I think the camera...
I think production crew,

I think the crew loved us.

Give me that!

Mic me!

One of the boom guys was
recording me and Cory's

conversation and swung the mic.

Clink, clink, clink,
clink, clink.

And that's all you hear, man.

And we just turned and we
started laughing at him.

Pfft.

That was on me.

And he was gone for the next
couple days, and we were like,

"they fired him.

They got rid of him for
breaking our bottles."

Smashed a whole bunch of glass.

Talk about it now.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Get close up on his face.

You get to know these people
almost even though it's almost

like a non-verbal relationship.

Because they can't really talk
to you, but they kind of laugh

at things you do.

I saw Jackson's mother
bench more than you, bro.

That's a disrespect to his mom.

No, that's not disrespectful
that's disrespectful towards

his mom.
That was a mama joke.

One of them put a plane...
Like, held a plane in front of

the camera and was going like
this with the camera with

the plane in front of it.

And then I remember Brian
put the wolf hat on top.

They really loosened
up towards the end.

In the beginning, I mean,
everyone's kind of, you know,

like, "who are you?

Who are you?
This is my job," you know?

It's just weird because these
people, they're going through

everything with you, but at the
same time they're not with

you, you know?

They can't give their input
or say their opinions.

They're just there to observe.

I mean, I consider
myself metrosexual.

And then I look at Cory and
Jay G., and I think they're,

like, a lot worse than I am.

All the guys were a little
Metro in the house.

They wanted to make sure that
they looked nice, which isn't

surprising.

I mean, I think... I think
guys should care about their

appearance.

These guys are
kinda girly, yeah.

I mean, they liked to look
nice, which is a good thing.

I guess women like hairless
bodies, which is weird to me.

He had hair, like, a couple
hairs on his back that just

annoyed the outta me.

So I got my pluckers
and took care of that.

I know Brian likes to, like,
shave his whole body, but I

don't know about the other guys.

I think that... I think Cory
likes to shave his body.

Think Brian shaves his legs,
which is kinda weird to me.

Wow, yo, I didn't even
think about that.

I always saw a bare, like,
clean, like, baby skin on Cory

and Brian.

Cool, all right.

So shaving my body is... That's
familiar in the fitness world.

Like, you're not gonna go
onstage with a hairy body.

Brian does take his time when
it comes to doing his hair.

It was just like, he'd straddle
and then he'd just do this.

20, 30 minutes.

You know, just, like, playing.

And it's just like, "dude,
you look the same."

Like, "nothing has changed."

Like, his hair looked like...
Like a Ken doll's hair.

Like, hard.

Seriously, hard.

I was trying to rock this new
Jheri curl look, and, like, it

wasn't working.
I couldn't get it right.

It was like, at first, okay,
you know, sometimes I had good

days, but most of them were bad.

Everyone has an O.C.D.
Thing, everyone...

everyone has their
thing.

Mine is socks.

I'm a total sock freak.
Really?

I have, like, 300 pairs
of socks with me.

Jay had a very particular
thing about his socks.

He put his socks in a
certain way in the drawer.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

You can have your sock back.

Give me... Give... Leave
my socks out of it.

So I have certain
socks for the gym.

I have certain socks

just for laying
around the house.

I have certain socks
if I'm going out.

He has a thing with socks.

He would call me out when I
wasn't wearing matching socks.

Like, me and Jenna both would
walk around without matching

socks.

I don't... maybe
an O.C.D. thing.

Tom has an interesting
sock collection.

I don't wear colored socks.

Tom probably has, like, the
weirdest, strangest style

I've ever seen.

But, like, his sock
and underwear

collection is impeccable.

He would match every color
with a different color.

In essence, it never matched.

Nothing matching.

That's fine.
The hat and the shirt.

The what?

The hat and the shirt,
the print.

No.

The, uh, shoes and the socks.

Not really.

Are you kidding me?

Are you blind?

No.

They seem in their natural
element just constantly primping

in the one mirror that
we had in the house.

I think that they cared more
about their appearance than

the girls did, to be honest.

Ah, not about that life.

Yes, sir!

Yes, sir!

The competition, the
competitiveness sprouted

directly from Tom.

I know this because he's the
most competitive person in

the entire world.

Every pool game,
we were serious.

Every shuffleboard
game, we were serious.

The champ!

The champ is here!

Let's go!

Look at Tom.

I'm getting out of the way.

I'm getting out of
the way from this.

This bitch.

Tom is like...
he lives for

competing it seems like.

It's just that's his nature.

Oh, my God!

Tom, you need to chill.

-Give me my thing back then.
-No, you threw it at me.

He threw the puck at me,
and I was like, " you for

throwing that puck at me."

And he was like, " you
for being a bitch."

And I was like, "I'm gonna
break up with you now."

You're gonna rewatch it,
and I went...

No, you straight up...

I threw it at the puck.

Okay.
Oh, my God.

-Jamie.
-No.

Anyways.

Jamie!

Anyways!

Either way, if he wins or
loses, he's not gonna shut up

about it, and he's a sore
winner and a sore loser.

Tom would be the first one to
ask to do a staring contest.

"Let's do a word search.

Who can get the first
word search done?"

You know, like, "let's
play shuffleboard.

Whoever wins best out of three."

I've never really been around
people who were just so

competitive about
that didn't matter.

Like, if you were better at pool
or better at staring at someone

in the eye for too long.

Like, "my eyes can get dry
before your eyes, and I won't

blink."

Staring contest, go.

Staring contest, go.

Ow.

See, that's stupid to me.

I have not lost yet!

I will never lose in a staring
contest with anybody.

I guess people don't
like me winning.

Where's the... where's the at?

The food store was out
of chicken nuggets.

Yeah, I just want to say that.

They didn't have...
No, they're out.

Jenna doesn't like
to eat anything.

-She likes...
-Chicken nuggets.

That was her thing.

Milk and chicken nuggets.

She literally only
likes chicken nuggets.

Jenna doesn't eat.

She does not eat anything.

You and your chicken nuggets.

I know.

Yeah.

I remember we were out at
the bar, and she asked for

macaroni basically
without the cheese.

And they came and were like,
"here's your macaroni with...

It's just macaroni."

"Could I get macaroni and
cheese with no cheese, please?"

What the...?

What?
What is that?

They said macaroni and cheese
without the cheese for some

reason.
No, it's pasta with butter.

They'd never heard
of that before.

I don't understand.

It's just pasta with butter.

See?

See, I tried something
new, and I liked it.

Yay!

You gotta trust me.

Yeah.

Oh, that's pretty good.

You like that?

We tried to get Jenna
to eat a lot of stuff.

And to her credit she
ate some of the stuff.

Like, she gave it a try.

And I got a hot dog,
and I'm loving it.

How'd you get a hot dog?

I want all the
food in the house.

Dude, I got the hot
dog on lockdown.

I got the hot dog on lockdown.

I'm a hungry girl.

I like to eat.

Like, I got some meat.
I got some thickness to me.

I like to eat.

So if I'm looking for that
person, it's taking me a while,

I might need to stop
for a little break.

I am so impressed by her
ability to bring out fully

dressed food out of her bags.

Like a burger.
Or like a hot dog.

Or a sandwich.
Like, "where'd you get that?"

Da-ding!
Like, and hot dog.

Da-ding.

And hamburger.

Like, how does it even, like,
keep its form in your bag?

It's... I'm impressed by it too.

It's my way of trying to
keep my girlish figure.

I would try to eat half of
everything, so then I'd put

the other half in a place
where I could eat it later.

Yeah, um, you gotta
always be prepared.

Times are hard and
you get hungry,

she's prepared and I'm not.

I don't have a taco in my purse,
and then I see hers, and I get

jealous and wish that
I thought ahead.

You never know what
you'll find in my purse.

See what else we got.

It was just frustrating because
the whole time I'm like,

"oh, my God, San Francisco's so
loving, and we're such giving

people, and yay!

Rainbows, butterflies, candy."

It wasn't any of
that at all, so...

Mtv.
Bull...

Okay, that didn't happen.

I wasn't expecting as
much hate as we got.

I was expecting a little
bit more, like... I guess

friendliness, but, hey.

People in cars would just drive
next to us and just yell stupid.

People would run in between us
and, like, do circles around us

and scream, like as if they
were gonna get on camera.

Whoa.

Which guy said that?

Just going to bars and whatnot,
people did not like us.

They were not nice.

And I had people
pouring drinks on me.

My, like, third night in the
house, I had some dude pour his

whole drink.

I had to throw my
white pants away.

I will never wear white pants
again because of that.

Cory got pissed at a
different kid, not the kid

that threw the cranberry juice
and you can see that on video.

Like, he grabs one kid and
starts shoving him, but it

wasn't the kid that threw
the cranberry juice on him.

My room was the closest to
the front door, my bed was,

and so I heard everything from
girls giving their Twitter

handle shoutouts to, you know,
asking mtv to put them in

the show, to people cussing us
out and telling us to go home.

Ashley!

People were, like, shouting,
"fuck The Real World!"

Like, stupid.

We had some people come by
the house and, like, they're

yelling and yapping off
at the mouth late night.

And I guess they burned
our, um, intercom.

Holy.

See, I wasn't kidding.

Oh, yeah, they're...
They melted it, dog.

They burned... It's melted.

There was a situation where the
whole cast pretty much was,

like, arguing with this group
of people outside the gate, and

somebody spit on Tom
through the gate.

Doesn't matter if
she did, bitch.

Whoop your ass!

No, you wouldn't.

Hey, you too, punk!

Oh, yeah, get it.
Get some glasses.

I run over there, and I didn't
even look at who did it.

I just got the biggest loogie I
could and just spit on all of

them.

No, no, no, no.

Not worth it.
Not worth it.

I'm closing the doors, go.

Let's go.
Go, go.

I don't know how she gets
that much saliva in her mouth

at that time, but just
starts spitting, like

"da-da-Dee-Dee-Dee" all...
Through the gate, all across

these people.

Jenny was like, "oh, hell no."

Like, "don't spit at us."

And so she came running through
to the kitchen and grabbed

cleaning product.

"Jenny... "
The phone rings.

"Jenny, put the cleaner down.

Do not spray the strangers
with the cleaner."

My bad.

She said put the spray and down.

You're egging that doesn't
need to be egged on.

There's nothing egging.

-There's nobody here to egg.
-I'm spraying them in the face.

I'm gonna leave it right here.

That is my protection.

Here you go, baby.

You're crazy.

On Lauren's last night, we
went to the highest peak in

San Francisco, um, to see the
entire city, all the lights.

It was amazing.
It was beautiful.

And there was a raccoon
that approached us.

Right.

Non-existent... Yo, buddy.

Come here.

He's right there.

He is adorable.

Let him... let him crawl...
There you go.

You're pretty.

Hello.

My name is Amber, the
raccoon whisperer.

He walked up and just sat down
and was, like, looking up

like, "yo, what's up, guys?"

So people started feeding
him, and he, like, hung out.

And we decided that his
name is Francisco.

Francisco the raccoon
after San Francisco.

Francisco the raccoon, he
was, like, the friendliest

raccoon I've ever met in my
I didn't know raccoons were

domesticated like that.

I even drew a picture of him
and hung it up on the wall in

our house by the computer and
called him our 13th roommate.

Francisco came to me on a
lovely San Francisco evening.

I don't know why.

Out of where?
Nowhere.

But he came up to me and he
was, like, talking to me.

And I could hear him.

I understood what he was...
We had a conversation.

I brought him some beef jerky.

We had a good time.

I didn't know raccoons
liked beef jerky.

That was a great lesson.

Cory's got fake boobies!

Cory's got fake boobies!

They... they put
something in the air.

Like, there's something when
you get in that house, like it

causes you to be crazy.

I swear, like, it sounds so
stupid, but it's so true.

What?

What?

You know.

No!

We... we came on this show.

We knew we were gonna act a
fool at one point in time

on this show.

And it's our time to let loose
and just have this full

experience and not
just half-ass it.

Ladies.

Hey, hey, hey.

I don't care what people think.

We had a great time out there.

Us roommates know what went on.

We know what we said,
what we went through.

That's... that's
all I care about.

Real World
San Francisco!