Ready? OK! (2008) - full transcript
In this poignant comedy, a single mom struggles to understand her young son's obsession with dresses, dolls, and girls' cheerleading. With her father's recent death and her wayward brother's return home. they must all learn to face reality and what being a family truly means.
Ready?
OK!
We are the Saints.
The Saints can't be beat.
And when you hear us
yelling go, fight, win -
you stomp your feet.
Hit it!
Go! Go!
Fight! Fight!
Win! Win!
Go, fight, win!
Again!
Go! Go!
Fight! Fight!
Win! Win!
Go, fight, win!
[whistle sounds]
♪
Josh, you scared
the hell out of me, man.
- What?
- I've been driving for like...
I can't hear you.
I can't hear you!
I can't hear you.
Oh, right. Sorry.
- Hey, Josh.
- Hi, Uncle Alex.
What are you doing here?
Is your grandmother home?
No. She moved out.
Are you moving back in?
No.
What? Why?
Why what?
Mom...uh, your grandmother.
She moved out?
- Yep.
- Why?
She survived one mother,
and certainly didn't need
to see Andrea's nose poking
into her business
every time she turned around.
Who?
Andrea.
Andrea?
Your sister.
Your mother?
Right.
She moved out?
No. She's inside
feeding the dog.
Who?
Your mother or my mother?
Andrea!
Oh, right.
Right.
So, I gotta go.
Hey, will you sign this?
Are you gonna
want your bunk back?
I don't think
I'm staying, buddy.
I get home from
school about three.
Think you'll still be here?
Probably.
All right.
Yeah...
All right.
B--
Bye.
[phone ringing]
Shit!
Hello?
Oh, hi!
Mr. Grant?
Hi, this is Andrea Dowd.
How are you today?
Who is this?
Um...Andrea Dowd.
I'm the producer for local
news Channel 9 at 3:30.
I watch Live at 4
on Channel 5.
Most people do, sir.
But I don't work for them.
I do, however,
work with Halle Hinton,
from "Nice to meet ya,
Normal Heights."
What are you selling?
No, no I'm not
selling anything.
I'm with the show,
with Halle Hinton.
We profile different
and interesting residents
of Normal Heights.
Sort of a 'who are the
people in your neighborhood'
kind of thing.
Remember we spoke
early last week?
What's for sale?
Anyway, you're scheduled
to be our guest
next Monday, October 20th.
so I'm just calling
to confirm...
♪
Channel 9 News at 3:30.
Yes.
Hi!
Alex, what are you--
Hey, Andy.
Mr. Grant, Mr. Grant?
Mr. Grant, I'm gonna
call you right back, OK?
Oh my God.
I didn't expect to see you.
Are you--
OK?
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm so glad you
called the other day.
We hadn't heard from
you again in almost--
A year.
I know.
I was in--
Kansas?
This all his--
Stuff.
Everything I could fit
in the car, anyway.
You're not bringing
it in, are you?
I didn't know what
else to do with it.
My God, you stink.
Well, I've been
driving for a--
Few days.
Apparently.
Are you homeless again?
Have you been living
out of your car?
No.
Well, yes, currently.
What?
Alex, for how long?
Officially, for
about 32 hours.
Can I come in, please?
Yes, yes, of course.
Come in. Come in.
Um, I gotta get the boxes.
Alex, they're fine.
I gotta get the--
Boxes.
All right.
Sure.
Oh! I swear I'm gonna
get this thing
surgically implanted in my ear.
Hi, Halle.
Be there in three minutes.
Yeah, I've got the coffee.
Yeah, they
over-steamed the milk.
Just the way you like it.
No, no, no.
No problem.
OK.
You're welcome.
I'll be there really soon.
I'm sorry. OK.
Do you still have your key?
Uh, yeah.
You remember where
the fresh towels are?
I'm fine.
I've got all my...
Shit.
Cabinet underneath the--
Sink.
There's fresh soap there, too.
Any thoughts on
what to do with his--
Don't really care.
I figured you'd maybe
wanna go through--
Alex, no.
I don't.
Look, I'm really sorry -
for you.
I'm really sorry for
you that Dad died.
But I hadn't heard from him
since high school.
He didn't care to
know me or Joshua.
No, he asked about you guys--
End of story.
I don't care what
you do with it.
I'd prefer you
not keep it here.
You on the other hand,
this is your home.
You can stay as
long as you need.
You know that.
OK.
Just a couple of things,
though, real quick.
Josh's new bed time
is eight o'clock.
Sharp.
No keeping him up late again.
OK?
We're trying to eat healthier,
so if you could just
keep that in mind.
And just clean
up after yourself.
It's not that much to ask.
It's really good
to see you, Alex.
Yeah, thanks.
I mean, you too.
It's good to see you too.
Hey.
You drinkin' both
those coffees?
♪
[children cheering]
Thank you, sixth graders.
Wow!
What a wonderful
way to start off
our Friday School
Spirit Pep Rally.
But let's keep moving.
Up next, let's give
a big Saints' welcome
to Sister Todd's
fourth grade class.
[applause]
Ready?
OK!
Big G
Little O
D
Go, go, go, go, go, go, God!
Big G
Little O
No.
See, I figured that's what
you were going to say.
So, I've done
a little preparation.
According to "Spirit Now!",
the official cheer and dance
handbook for our region,
in our category, elementary
level grades K through 6th,
a cheer team can be made up
of anywhere between
8 and 14 members.
Both male and female
cheerers allowed.
Is that what it says?
Right here.
Page 11.
Oh, yes, under the public
elementary school guidelines.
You seem to have forgotten
that St. Mary's
is a private Catholic
school, putting us under
the Parochial/Christian
guidelines.
Page 17.
Parochial/Christian grades
K through 6 can be made up
of 6 to 12 members.
Females only.
I was hoping you
hadn't read that part.
You can't break
the rules, Mr. Dowd.
I'm not trying to
break the rules.
I'm trying to change them.
Joshua, listen to me.
There's no you on this team.
This is embarrassing,
Sister Vivian,
but I believe the actual saying
is "there's no I in team."
You will never be
part of the team.
Never is a very strong
word, Sister Vivian.
Never's for losers, and the
Saints are here to win!
Again!
Never's for losers, and
with God's love we'll win.
♪
Mmm.
Yum!
Well, add me to
the list of believers.
I, for one, can confirm that
this just might be
the best red zinger
I've ever had.
It was delicious, Pablo.
Pedro.
I'm Halle Hinton for
Channel 9 News at 3:30,
reporting to you live from
Urban Mo's Bar and Grill.
Who knows where
we'll pop up next?
Could be your front door.
[doorbell sound effect]
But until that time comes,
It's nice to meet ya,
Normal Heights.
Steve, Linda, back to you.
And we're out.
Jesus, what is this -
lime juice all over your hand?
That was great, Halle.
Really fun stuff.
Can I get a wet-nap?
They want to come back to you
right after the weather
to promote next week's
Native Normal Heightian.
I have the breakdown...
A baby butt wipe,
at the very least.
OK.
We're profiling the curator
at the new little
modern art gallery
on 34th, Nuevo-Newmans.
She's actually the great
granddaughter of one of
the first business owners
here in Normal Heights -
Ned's Grain and Feed Shop.
You might remember
we did a little piece about
eight months ago on Ned's
brother, her great uncle,
Randall Newman.
I don't know.
Oh.
At the time, Normal Height's
oldest living resident,
rest his soul.
Stay still.
Cindy Newman,
the curator is the one...
No, I'm here.
- Turn.
- Sorry.
Is he OK?
Stay still.
No, I'll call them right back.
Sorry.
I mean, thank you.
It's probably a blessing
you work behind the camera.
Can I get a diet iced
something of some sort?
♪
[knocking on door]
Hello, Joshua?
Sir?
Hello.
[record player stuck]
Oh, Daisy Love.
She's a little known
cabaret singer from the...
...early 60s.
Yes. So it says.
Born in Paris,
but raised in Miami Beach.
She got her start
singing for pennies
on street corners
after school.
Do you know her?
Well, not personally, no.
I should have been so lucky.
But every respectable gay man
over the age of 40
knows Daisy Love.
The pain,
the longing--
No.
No, I'm not...
I'm not g...
Yeah, I'm none
of those things.
What?
Gay. Or 40.
How about respectable?
I haven't heard
this in years.
This is very rare, you know.
It belonged to my Dad.
It was on the record player
already when I got it.
And was he?
What?
You know...
No. I don't think so.
I don't know. No.
Honey, are you sure?
I can fix that, you know.
You've torn your pants.
I'm a tailor.
Charles New.
Next door neighbor.
What happened to
Mrs. Harrison?
She died
about three months ago.
Seems to be going around.
Well, she was a million
and a half years old.
It was about time.
She was my father's sister.
I inherited the house.
Now take off your pants.
I'm sorry?
I can stitch those up
lickety-split,
have 'em back on
your butt by dinner.
Come on.
Hand them over.
It's a helmet--
well, ear guard, technically.
It's called the Tornado.
Do you like it?
Yeah.
It's nice.
The clerk at the
store said it's what
all the high school
boys are wearing.
That's pretty cool, huh?
Hey, who's that?
Huh?
On your button.
Mike.
Who?
The captain of the
junior wrestling team.
Look at you!
Oh, I love it.
Hello, sir.
Oh, Mr. New, I'm so sorry!
I meant to call you.
I meant to let you know
you didn't need to
look in on Joshua
this afternoon.
- I'm so sorry.
- It's all right.
[yelling, clanking noises]
Mother Fu...
You'll excuse me.
So that's Uncle Alex?
Yep.
Oh! Where's my mind?
Today was Pep Rally Day!
Oh, no.
Did your class not win?
Sister Margaret's 6th graders
got the Spirit Stick.
Again.
We got a Cheer Certificate.
But I didn't get to cheer.
What?
The nun said no.
No?
Little boys
can't be cheerleaders.
Little boys can be whatever
they want to be, Joshua.
Don't you forget that.
Joshua.
I've got spirit, yes I do.
I've got spirit,
how 'bout you?
I've got spirit, yes I do.
I've got spirit,
how 'bout you?
I've got spirit, yes I do.
I've got...
Joshua!
What do you mean, you didn't
read it before you signed it?
I didn't read it
before I signed it.
- Hey, Uncle Alex.
- Hey, Josh.
Why are you in your underwear?
Guy from next door
took my pants.
I think I need some ice.
Cool hat.
It's a boat.
Is this today's paper?
Alex, I hadn't read this yet.
And you shouldn't be
signing things for him.
You're not his legal...
...guardian.
All right.
I got it. I'm sorry.
I can't sign anything
for you again.
That's all right.
Wait a minute, young man.
You're the one who should be
apologizing to your Uncle.
Oh, that's not necessary.
Alex.
I'm sorry.
For what?
For making you
sign my late note.
You didn't make me--
Alex.
It's all right.
OK.
OK.
OK.
[phone ringing]
We are the Saints.
Who?
Green, gold, and white.
Yeah!
St. Mary's Saints.
What?
Are out of sight!
Introduce yourself!
My name's Breanna.
Hi!
I sing Hosanna.
Yeah!
And with God's love.
What?
I'll rise above.
Hello, Breanna.
Hi!
You are a Saint.
Yeah!
We know you're proud.
What?
So say it loud.
Go Saints!
We are the Saints.
Who?
Green, gold, and white.
Yeah!
[And with His help.
We'll win this fight!
My name is Josh.
Hi!
I've got panache.
Yeah!
And on God's mat.
What?
Is where it's at.
Remember, I talked
about it all last year.
But you have to
be 11 to go.
You're still 10, Josh.
Now. Not after November 8th.
And the camp doesn't even
start until December 27th.
So...
You'll be old enough to go.
Exactly!
Charlie said it was fate
that I saw the ad
in the first place.
Out of all the hats
I could have--
Boats.
Right.
Out of all the boats
I could have picked up,
I picked the one with
the application.
He called it kis..mes..try -
or something.
Kismet.
That's it! Kismet.
He said it's a sign.
It's meant to be, huh?
I mean, what else am I gonna
do over Christmas break?
I don't know.
Maybe you could come
to work with me.
Hang out with the camera guy.
See how we
make it all happen.
Yeah.
That sounds like fun.
Thing is, I already applied.
Joshua!
When?
Last night.
I wanted mine to be
the first one in.
It says they're
looking for cheerers
with initiative and passion.
I think that shows
initiative and passion.
Will there be other kids
from your class going?
Definitely Breanna.
I mean, she's captain
of the Junior Squad.
She's gotta represent.
But, I'm sure the other
girls will be going.
A hundred and ten dollars?
That sounds like a lot of
money for four half days, Josh.
Maybe.
But it does include a T-shirt,
duffle bag, water bottle,
sports towel, and pom-poms.
It's just not
a good time, honey.
Between your school tuition,
having to pick up
all the bills since
Grandma moved out.
And now with
your Uncle Alex back...
I'll pay for it myself.
What?
At a dollar fifty a week,
your allowance ain't
gonna cut it, buddy boy.
How do you plan
on doing that?
I don't know.
But I can pay for it myself.
I know I can.
I don't want you to
get your hopes up.
You know that week after
Christmas gets crazy putting
together Halle's end
of the year wrap up.
Unless that plan changes,
don't know that I'll be able
to get you there and back.
A positive attitude,
determination, and a whole lot
of moxy are all key
factors to success.
Thanks.
I'll have to remember that.
♪
Ready?
OK!
Hey, you, in the car.
You're not moving very far.
Wake up.
Hit the gas.
The Saint's are
gonna kick your--
[horn blowing]
Is he dead?
Gosh, I hope not.
He owes me two bucks.
Alexander!
Wake up!
This is your Mother!
He was a couple weeks
late with the rent.
The landlord found him in bed
with an empty six-pack
and some porn.
At least he died happy.
You really moved out?
Oh, honey.
There comes a time
in every parent's life
when their children must
leave the nest and fly away.
Mine...
apparently are never
going to do that.
So, I stop by every
weekend to see my Monkey,
a couple of times for
dinner, and as often as I can
to annoy your sister.
But I'm just
around the corner,
so it's like I never left.
You didn't get very far.
Car wouldn't start.
Let me buy you breakfast.
I thought you quit smoking.
Oh, I did.
The pot, that is.
And the cigs
for a while, too.
Then I met this younger man...
Whoa, baby!
Well, you understand.
Anyway, I realized that neither
the man or the cigarettes
were very good for my health,
so I quit them both.
Unless I'm here.
It drives your sister crazy.
Have one.
Yeah, all right.
♪
♪ He, hello
and how are you? ♪
♪ What's your name
and what do you do? ♪
♪ It's nice to meet you. ♪
♪ Nice to meet you. ♪
♪ Nice to meet you,
Normal Heights. ♪
You may be far,
you may be near.
Please show yourself,
and join us here.
Come on in.
Nice to meet ya.
Oh, nice to meet ya.
Oh, goodness!
Where'd you come from?
Good afternoon,
Normal Heights.
You all know who I am,
let me introduce you
to our neighbor of the day.
Mabel, is it?
Ma, Mab-
Oh, scary.
Mabel's just one of the many
haunts you'll find at the
Not-so Normal Heights
Haunted Hideaway.
I myself haven't been
through the Hideaway this year.
Mabel, give us an idea
of what we can expect.
Aahhh!
Don't want to give
it away, right?
That might ruin
the surprise.
Mabel, I understand
you've become
quite a regular
at the Hideaway.
Is it true this is your
14th consecutive year?
Not appropriate for
the afternoon news!
OK, yeah, OK.
Thank you.
You're about right,
it's time to wrap it up.
The Not-so Normal Heights
Haunted Hideaway
opens officially tonight,
and carries on through our
spooktacular weekend.
Join us on Monday
when we interview
Normal Height's
own Pumpkin Farmer.
This is Halle Hinton for
Channel 9 news at 3:30.
Who knows where
we'll pop up next?
Could be your front door.
[doorbell sound]
Until that time,
it's nice to meet ya,
Normal Heights.
Aahh!
♪ Nice to meet you,
Normal Heights ♪
Uh...
Is there a reason my
son is running away?
Jog-a-thon.
It was my idea.
Twenty-five cents for every
trip around the block.
The big Italian
family right behind us -
they should net him
a good couple of bucks.
Shouldn't somebody
be running with him?
He's fine.
He should be coming back
around the corner any second.
Oh, he has been averaging
about 4 minutes a lap.
What if he trips?
Or passes out?
Are his shoes tied?
If we don't see him in next
minute and a half
I will call for
assistance personally.
Mrs. Ortiz up the block
set up a little watering
station to keep him going.
Oh, come on, Andrea.
You've already
clocked out, honey.
Move, move.
Cheer the kid on.
Come on, come on.
How long have I got?
Oh, 68 seconds -
give or take.
[phone ringing]
Hello...
This is Andrea.
You can't just not show
up for your practice.
I got a call
from your school
and they're wondering
where you are.
At my jog-a-thon.
When you were supposed
to be at your practice.
You made the commitment at the
beginning of the school year.
Remember?
We sat and went over
all your options.
You chose wrestling.
Here's the thing
about wrestling.
If I could just quit
going to practice,
then maybe I'd have time
to join the Junior--
What is it with the men in
the family running away
from their commitments?
We're not quitters, Josh.
No, I know that.
We can talk to Sister Vivian
at the end of the semester.
Maybe you can switch
sport electives then.
But I told Coach Father
Patrick you'd be back
on the mat
tomorrow afternoon.
All right?
All right.
- We're good?
- We're good.
You're gonna be as big
as your Uncle Alex
before we know it.
I bet he could
show you some moves.
He was a Saint's wrestler
once upon a time.
Used to sit on me
all the time.
It's going on two
weeks now, big guy.
You planning
on doing anything
with any of this
stuff anytime soon?
Figured I'd leave
it right there.
Just in case you gotta go?
Yeah, just in case.
Or we find someplace
to put it -
you know, that's not
by the front door.
Just in case you wanna stay.
Yeah, that could
be fun, buddy.
But I gotta think about
goin' back to work.
Work?
What do you do?
I'm in retail.
What do you sell?
Presently I'm involved with
antiques and collectibles.
You gather as much junk
as you can find,
take it to
a local swap meet,
use the money you
make to buy more junk,
and then move
to a new city.
That's not retail.
I'm a traveling salesman.
Like Grandpa.
Currently without
the ability to travel.
My father's a professor
of communications
and public interests.
Your father's
a son of a bitch.
Mother!
So was yours.
- Can I borrow your car?
- No.
Have you always
wanted to be
a traveling salesman
like Grandpa?
Never thought about it.
Just sort of happened.
I don't want
to be a professor
of communications
and public interests.
Or a son of a bitch.
- Mom.
- Mom.
Hey, we could be partners.
Yeah, family business.
See, what I'm thinking is we
could spend the next couple
of days driving around looking
for cheap stuff in alleys
and at Goodwills,
clean it up and--
Can I be on the team?
Sure.
Great idea, buddy.
I have a job, Alex.
And you have homework.
Need any help?
What do you know
about fractions?
Not a hell of a lot.
I'm good. Thanks.
Hey, can I have these sheets?
Sure.
Can I cut them up?
Do whatever you
want with them.
But they're not sheets.
They're curtains.
They were his curtains.
Is that gonna be a problem?
- Can I borrow your car?
- No.
- Can I borrow your car?
- No!
- Can I borrow your car?
- Quit it!
♪
Well, don't stand out there
like a Jehovah's Witness.
Get in here.
What have
you brought me?
- The perfect fabric.
- Let's look at this.
Oh, this might do.
Do we have permission
to use this?
Yeah, I asked my Uncle Alex.
It's all good.
Then what are we waiting for?
Come in this house.
You must be measured.
♪
[car engine cranking]
[record playing]
- Come on, Mike.
- Take him down.
- Come on.
- Concentrate.
- Come on, Mike.
- Kick his butt.
- Come on, Mike.
- Get up, Mike.
Get up, Mike.
Get up. Fight.
The Lord is
on your side, Mike.
Get up. Cheer.
The Lord is
always near, Mike.
You can do it,
use your Strength.
There's nothing to it.
Just have faith.
Goooooo, Mike!
Whoo, yeah, Mike!
Come on, Mike!
Get up!
Get up! Yeah!
I noticed at the last
Pep Rally that what
St. Mary's was missing
was a mascot.
Page 8.
In order for a mascot to be
considered a member of the team,
he or she must be able
to perform stunts,
gymnastics, or act as
a spotter for a pyramid.
Do you have any
of those skills?
Technically, not yet.
No.
Give me a J.
We got your J,
we got your J.
Give me an O.
We got your O,
we got your O.
Give me an S.
We got your S,
we got your S.
Give me an H.
We got your H,
we got your H.
Now hush, shhhh!
You don't want to
mess with Josh.
Do ya, do ya?
Do ya, do ya?
No!
You don't want to
mess with Josh!
Ssshhhh...
Josh.
Psst!
Hey, buddy, you awake?
Josh.
Hey, Josh.
Hey, Josh. Hey Josh...
Uncle Alex!
What?
Knock it off.
Sure.
Josh.
What?
You awake?
No.
Why?
I've got to talk to you
about your cheerleading?
Did Andrea ask
you to do this?
Who? No.
Uncle Alex, turn on the light.
I bet you'd be surprised
to learn that the first ever
cheerleader was a Minnesota
undergrad named Jack Campbell.
That's right.
Jack's a man.
Sure.
It's well known that sports is
a mostly male-dominated arena.
It wasn't even until
the 1920s that women began
to be introduced
to the sport of cheer.
I didn't know that.
And did you know that
actor Jimmy Stewart
was a cheerleader?
So was president
George W. Bush.
That's not much
of a selling point.
And in 1946,
Lawrence 'Herkie' Herkimer
held the first cheerleading
clinic on the campus--
Buddy, it's OK.
You don't have to convince me.
If you want to cheer,
that's cool.
Cheer.
You're not here
to talk me out of it?
Why would I do that?
OK, anyway.
I need your help.
Your Mom, uh, Andrea--
I know her.
Yeah, well.
She told me I had 24 hours
to get a job - or else.
What?
What what?
Or else what?
I don't know.
Hadn't thought about it.
She's probably right,
though, you know.
Sometimes.
Does this mean you're staying?
We'll see how it goes.
OK.
OK.
Uncle Alex.
Oh, right.
The job.
I told them I could dance.
Or at least bounce.
And twirl -
whatever that means.
So I need your help.
I need some moves, Josh.
I thought with your
cheer background,
you could teach me some moves.
How long have we got?
What time is it?
10:17.
Nine hours, 43 minutes.
♪
Did you understand
the assignment?
Of course.
Joshua.
As your favorite person
in religious history?
She tried to be a nun.
I thought Sister Todd would
have gotten a big kick
out of my appreciation
for the sisterhood.
Maria Von Trapp?
So?
Couldn't you have picked a guy?
Maybe a pope.
One of the apostles,
at the very least.
The assignment was to
pick our favorite person
in religious history -
the person that
inspired us most -
and then represent
that person.
What's the problem?
You're a little boy.
You need to dress
like a little boy.
Cynthia Marie Keenan shows up
as St. Francis of Assisi-
equipped with live bird and
bald spot - and I get sent
to Sister Vivian for
promoting peace through song.
It's not fair.
It's different.
How?
No, it's not.
Yes, it is.
How?
I don't know, honey.
It just is.
And her bird even pooped
all over John Michael's
really tacky cardboard cross.
- Father.
- Sister.
This is the mother.
Ms. Dowd.
I take it Mr. Dowd
was unavailable.
Mr. Dowd's been
unavailable since 1998.
There's no Mr.
It's just me...
Us.
There is no father.
It's just the two of us.
So it is.
[phone rings]
Oh, Jesus Christ!
Sorry.
So Sorry.
♪
I'll take care of it.
I promise.
I'm so sorry.
Did I say that already?
Can I say it enough?
All right.
Nice to have met you,
Father Dominic.
Sister Vivian, I will have him
back here first thing tomorrow
morning for school mass.
In pants.
Right.
[cell phone ringing]
I swear to God, Halle,
we are right around the corner.
This is not the right address.
Uncle Alex!
Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
Stay in the car, please.
Is that my diet passion?
Halle, what happened
to the pumpkin farmer?
Honey, we've done ethnic
twice this week already.
Is this crushed ice?
Uh, yeah, I'm not so sure.
See, the thing is
is that we've been running the
pumpkin farmer promo all day,
for Halloween, so I'm not sure
how changing the profile
this late in the game is really
gonna go over with Ed.
Ready?
OK!
But Andrea, the pumpkin
farmer's gone, closed.
- What do you mean?
- Dead, for all I know.
But I called and confirmed.
I think I called
and confirmed.
Ed's gonna have a fit.
You have no idea.
Knees up, Uncle Alex!
Honey, stay in the car, please.
I thought you
had a little boy.
I do.
That's my son, Joshua.
He's wearing a dress.
Yeah, well it's Halloween.
He's Maria Von Trapp.
That's so cute.
None of my gay friends
ever did drag
until at least their 20s.
No, Halle, he's not...
Halle, he's only
10 years old,
so you can't really say--
Only 10? Really?
Well, he's almost 11.
He's big for his age.
I'll say.
Hey, Andy.
Maybe we should call Mom
and tell her
I'm gonna be on TV.
This one's
kind of cute, huh?
So, this one's
kind of my brother.
What? No!
Yeah...
My twin brother, actually.
Hey Andy!
Maybe we should--
What?
No, I'm here, Ed.
Call Mom and tell her
I'm gonna be on TV!
I heard you!
Sorry, no, sorry.
Knees up!
Smile!
Go back to the car, honey!
I'm sorry, Ed.
We've had some tech problems,
but I can hear you now.
Um, about the
pumpkin farmer.
Twins?
Really?
I'd never have guessed.
You're such a handsome man.
Thank you.
Thank you.
No, we lost the
pumpkin farmer.
Sorry, when?
I understand.
It's just with the switch out
we're running a bit
behind schedule.
Halle Hinton.
Nice to meet ya.
How do you do?
Yes, I understand
it's live TV.
We're a go.
OK, Halle we're going live.
When?
In about 45 seconds.
Halle, this is Alex.
Alex, Halle.
We've met.
Mark! We're on!
She'll be asking
you questions,
nothing too personal.
The segment should
last about a minute,
a minute and a half tops.
Ignore the camera.
Just look at her.
Mark! Let's go!
Alex is a native
of Normal Heights.
He's...
Single.
Mark!
Halle, I'm gonna need you
to put the drink down.
OK, come on.
What?
Copy that.
OK.
Your intro music
is about to start.
We've got about 20 seconds.
- Mark, come on buddy.
- Right.
- How do I look?
- Real nice.
OK.
Alex, I need you
to stand right here.
Stay on that spot.
You don't have to move.
Halle Hinton.
Halle Hinton.
We're live in 12.
Alex, your sign
is upside down.
Halle, put the drink down.
Your sign!
OK, we are live
in 5...
Where's my mic?
My nose!
♪ Nice to meet ya,
Normal Heights! ♪
Oh, God.
Oh, my God...
Uh, hi!
Good afternoon,
Normal Heights.
I'm Halle Hinton--
Wow, that must have hurt!
Joshua, not now.
Go back to the car.
I'm not Halle Hinton.
Halle Hinton
is out sick today.
I don't think she's breathing.
Joshua, she's fine!
Get back to the car!
When do we talk about me?
What are you doing here?
Working.
This can't be real.
Oh, yeah.
No, it is.
"No move in fee,
first month free."
- This is your job?
- Yes.
This is the only
job you could get?
This is the
only job I applied for.
She's all right!
But I think she broke
her shaking hand.
Oh, God!
Hi! Today we're
here with Alex...
Dowd.
Alex Dowd.
OK.
Also, her brother.
Can I say that?
Am I allowed to say that?
You just did.
Stop looking at the camera.
And Josh's uncle.
(Halle)
Lemonade is on the counter...
Um, no, Mark!
OK.
Um, Hi.
Uh, um, Alex is
a native of Normal--
I gotta say,
I expected a little more.
What?
Lights or something.
Catering, at least.
What are you
talking about?
You're always running
around about to explode.
I figured there was
more to your job
than just a guy
with a video camera.
No offense.
And some woman who -
I don't know what you're
talking about -
seems pretty nice to me.
Ready?
OK!
Get up!
Stand up and fight.
Who knows where we'll
pop up next time.
Maybe your front door.
Awww, really?
But until that time comes...
I'm Andrea Dowd
and it's been nice
to meet you, Normal Heights.
♪ Nice to meet ya,
Normal Heights! ♪
♪
Ready?
OK!
Being fired's not so bad.
You'll never get
far being sad.
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Shish, boom, bob.
Make that touchdown.
Get a job.
Goooooo, Mom!
Whoohoo!
Yeah!
I love you, Mom.
Hey, wait up.
I'll walk with you.
Love you, Mom.
Forgive me Father,
for I have sinned.
It's been...
I couldn't begin
to tell you how long
it's been since
my last confession.
That's all right.
Go ahead.
OK.
Well, I...
Father Dominic, is that you?
Sorry?
It's Andrea Dowd--
Uh, Ms. Dowd.
Josh's mother.
We met a few days ago
in Sister Vivian's office.
Oh, yes.
I remember.
How are you, Ms. Dowd?
How am I?
I'm gonna have to go
with not so good.
I didn't know
where else to go.
I saw the bulletin outside
about today's confessions
when I picked up
Josh the other day.
Kind of mocked
it a little bit.
I'm sorry about that,
by the way.
It's all right.
Can we open the screen?
Would you mind?
Sure.
Of course we can.
I don't know what
it is about it.
It just seems so impersonal.
That's sort of the point.
I hated it even in 8th grade.
Yes, I can open it.
Eighth grade.
That's it.
That was my last confession.
Hi.
Knees up, Uncle Alex!
You gotta smile
and keep your knees up.
If I get them as
high as you want,
they hit the
bottom of the sign.
You don't understand.
No excuses.
Remember, the three C's.
Commitment, Confidence...
And Charisma.
I know.
Hungry?
♪
Can I have the
can when you're done?
If I collect 500 I can cash
'em in for about $25.
When he was about five -
not quite five -
Josh finally asked
me about his Dad.
All the other kids at
daycare were making gifts
and cards for Father's Day -
those little clay imprints
of their hands.
Did you ever do that?
I got one the next
year for Mother's Day.
And he wanted to know
where his Daddy was.
I wanted to tell him dead,
and have that be the end of it.
What did you tell him?
The truth.
Or my version of the truth.
Which, of course, brought up
the question, repeatedly,
of why his daddy
didn't want him.
What do you tell
a little boy who keeps asking
why his daddy didn't want him?
When the truth of it was,
he didn't want me.
I was the one
he didn't want.
I've worked really hard
my whole life...at everything.
Doing everything
for everybody.
And I thought I'd finally
met someone who was
gonna take care of me
and make sure I was OK.
And I got carried away.
Plain and simple -
I pushed too hard.
And I knew better, too.
That's what makes it worse.
I mean, it's teaching
assistant rule number one.
You don't sleep with
your mentor.
It'd be like you
sleeping with Jes--
Bad example.
Sorry.
Oh, Mrs. Francis.
There you are.
Something smells good.
Now that I've got you here -
the Normal Heights
All-City Winter Cheer Camp
holds many possibilities
for a young boy like myself.
It allows me to learn
the importance of putting
the 'leader' before
the 'cheer.'
Giving me a leg up, really,
in both my school
and community.
At the moment,
I'm a little short of my
$110 attendance fee, by $87.
I have a couple of
different options here.
For one dollar, you have
a choice of dark
or milk chocolate
quarter-pound bars.
My five-dollar items are these
adorable little teddy bears
in St. Mary's official colors.
I have this list of magazines
for you to take a look at.
If I sell ten subscriptions,
I get the new DVD -
"Best of College Cheer:
Volume III."
Oh, and there's a special bonus
with whatever you purchase -
even the dollar candy bar.
Every little bit counts.
I'll give you a button
of my favorite
varsity wrestling team member.
I made extras.
I like Mike.
My phone hasn't
rung in five days.
That's a record.
A few hours tops is what
I'm used to, but five days?
I sat in the parking lot
the other day after we met,
waiting to pick up Josh.
First time in a long time
I'd been able to do that.
And I was watching
all the other mothers.
They have got it down.
I mean they've got this
whole mother thing figured out.
They make it look so easy.
I sat and watched him
for almost 20 minutes.
And he didn't even
know I was there.
You know?
I watched him play
with his little girl friends.
I watched him teach them
this cheer he made up.
I watched this group
of little boys point
and laugh at him
from across the courtyard.
But then totally unphased,
he just goes over and starts
braiding little Breanna's hair
until he realized that
it was time
for him to go home.
And he didn't even
know I was there.
Also, um...
I started smoking again.
That's really more of
a bad habit than a sin.
I just feel like a little
girl again, you know...
like I'm just waiting for
history to repeat itself.
Just waiting for my
biggest fear to come true.
What's that?
That I'll push too hard, and
Josh will want to leave me too.
I love my son more than
I've loved anything.
Ever.
You'll be the king of the
mountain with that gear.
Do you like it?
They're fantastic!
I wanted to get you an
actual wrestling dummy
to practice with,
but your Uncle Alex
seems to be filling
that role pretty well.
Plus, now you can keep
all your gear together.
Thanks, Mom.
Who's next?
I think it might be me.
I'm next.
I'm not sure it can compete
with all these other goodies,
but...
Really?
If you'd like it, I sure
would like you to have it.
Do you like it?
I love it.
Oh, good!
Happy birthday, Joshua.
Gosh, Mr. New,
it's such a lovely...gift.
It's just, well...
My gosh, look at it.
It looks so expensive.
No. It was one of my aunts.
The doll, I mean.
I made the outfit myself.
St. Mary's colors.
Green, gold and white.
Oh.
Is it an antique?
Antique, phooey.
It's just been laying around
the house collecting dust.
I'd be so much happier knowing
someone's enjoying him.
Maybe it should be
for a little girl.
A niece of yours, maybe.
I haven't any family.
You know that.
He's so handsome.
Let me see, monkey.
The squad is going flip out.
Mother, no, no, no.
It's a lovely,
lovely thought.
It's just, Josh,
you're 11 now.
And Father Dominic thinks--
When were you talking
to Father Dominic?
Uh, a couple of days ago.
And he thinks it'd be best
if you thought about
making some new friends.
You know, if you stopped
eating lunch with the squad
at the girl's table.
Then maybe the boys
would find a spot
for you at theirs
if you asked.
Andy, stop it.
No, mother.
It's not right.
Father Dominic thinks
he's not right.
You know what?
It's all right.
You're right, Andrea.
I apologize.
I wasn't thinking.
Charlie...
Happy birthday, young sir.
And you know what we'll do?
We can set him on
the mantle at my house.
You can visit him
whenever you'd like.
Now I should probably...
My sincere and deepest
apologies to all of you.
It was never my intention
to upset the festivities.
Good day.
Thanks for the gifts, Mom.
I really love them.
Josh, honey.
Wait a minute, sweetie.
Thanks for
the pom-poms, Grandma.
Happy birthday, monkey.
Wait! We gotta have cake.
No, thank you.
Grandma?
Yes, sir?
Could you take
Charlie a piece?
Sure thing, monkey.
What about your piece?
You gotta have the first
piece, birthday boy.
What?
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna go see
if I can, you know.
Yeah, sure.
The going gets tough,
the tough tries to
get the car started.
He taught you well, Alex.
You lasted longer than
I thought you would.
What about your new...
Job?
I was quitting after I got
paid on Friday, anyway.
Setting a pretty damn good
example for your nephew, too.
Whoa, wait a minute sister.
You're not being fair.
Fair?
You want to know
what's not fair?
Having your father walk out
the door when you're...
Eight years old.
I was there, too.
Yeah, but you went with him.
After high school
you got to be with him.
I showed up
on his doorstep, Andy,
and two days later he was gone.
Left me a couple hundred bucks
to fend for myself,
and no forwarding address.
I've spent the last 19 years
chasing him around the country,
trying to get to know him,
only to have him take off
as soon as I show up.
That sucks, Andy!
Don't make me out to be the
bad guy because I got to
have the occasional beer
with our Dad, while you went
and got knocked up by
some college professor
who shared his same first name.
I gotta get out of here.
Don't leave him again
like this, Alex!
He's not my kid, Andy!
You've got it under control.
You've made that
perfectly clear.
I gotta find a way
to get out of here.
Yeah, maybe you do.
♪
Ready?
OK!
Get up, fight.
Get to it.
Take the ball and run.
S, P I, R, I, T - Spirit.
Yell teamwork.
Come on, cheer!
Again!
S, P, I, R, I, T - Spirit.
Your victory
is very near!
Woohoo!
Time check, honey.
7:56.
Two more bites.
7:56.
God, I'm gonna be late.
Wait - 7:56?
7:57.
Josh, you're gonna be late.
Come on, baby, let's go.
Hey! No hug?
Have a good day.
Josh, your gear!
Wait!
Don't forget the Tornado.
♪
Damn it, Alex.
This is the first
in a series
of neighbors in
the medical field.
That's me in the
dentist chair, there.
A fun little
piece of trivia.
This is actually
a breaking news piece
we did about a year ago.
I'm sure you remember
the water-main break
we had near the park,
the one that created
a small mudslide
on the freeway.
A series of neighbors
at a local dog park.
And...that's it, actually.
But this is just
a small sampling.
With Halle we were doing at
least three segments a week,
sometimes up to five, so...
I've seen it.
[phone rings]
That's me.
I'm sorry.
I usually turn
it off before...
Sister Vivian's office.
Great.
Or, uh...
I usually keep it
in the car, actually.
Busy.
Uh, I was about to say...
You didn't finish college?
Hmm?
Your degree.
You didn't get your degree.
Well, I got my BA
from the Univ--
UCSB. I saw that.
Your Masters.
You have the school listed.
No graduation date.
Do you have your Masters?
No. I'm about a semester
and a half short,
but I had my son.
It was thought best
I take some time away.
You have a son?
Joshua...he's 10.
Uh, 11, actually.
He just had a birthday.
But I can handle it.
I run a tight...ship.
Single mothers were
a little cause for concern
at some of the other
interviews I've been on.
All of them actually.
Is that gonna be a problem?
Not mine.
[phone beeping]
They left a message.
Do you need to check that?
No.
It's my--
It's Joshua's school.
Boys.
He's probably
'herkied' his way
into some kind
of trouble again.
That's a cheerleading move.
Don't ask.
I won't.
OK, silence.
You know, you know I was
planning on going back -
to school, to finish my
Masters, you know,
what little I had left.
But the experience I was
getting on location was...
You know, if I could
I'd love to show you
some samples of news items
that I personally wrote.
[phone vibrating]
Mine.
That is so good!
They look pretty good.
Pretty good.
I mean, there are
still little moments
when they could be tighter.
Like, Jessica's roundoff
handspring full just kind of
looks like a fancy kart-wheel.
And Kelly should
not be a flyer.
I mean, look at her.
She's made to base.
But overall
they look pretty good.
You think so?
Yeah, but Breanna's
a good captain.
Everybody likes her.
They all like
each other, really.
And that's important.
Yeah, I can imagine.
Now wrestling.
Oh, God, Josh...
I don't know.
I think Uncle Alex gave me
false hopes about my abilities.
There I was, standing
on the mat opposite...
Matt Vance.
...who, I'd just like
it to be understood,
might only be a 3rd grader,
but the kid's got moves.
He's fast.
He's mean.
Next thing I know,
everything is upside down
and Matt is twisting
my right leg out to the side.
I kick higher on my right.
That was only round one.
Round two...
Slight improvement.
I mean, Coach said it took
him 3 seconds less
to pin me to the floor.
That's good.
For him.
Oh, God, Josh.
Round three.
Do it, Matt.
Smear the queer!
Smear the queer!
I took off running before Coach
could even blow the whistle.
I tripped on the end of the
mat and knocked myself out
with my knee.
Everybody laughed.
The squad would
have helped me.
They would have come
picked me up, you know?
'Cause that's what it's about.
That's what they
specialize in.
Picking people up.
Not knocking them down.
Whoever you are,
they want you to be the best
that you can possibly be -
'cause they get it;
we're all in this together.
I mean, look at them.
They're a team.
They're a family.
Your Daddy would
like you so much.
Really?
He would?
Mm-hmm.
He likes cheerleaders.
And you're so smart.
You're smart like he is.
You're really, really smart.
You're too smart.
He would like you so much.
Mama.
I'm sorry, but I don't think
I want to wrestle anymore.
♪
Um, I was wondering if
I could borrow some ice.
My brother never
refills the trays.
Is this a bad time?
No.
Actually, can you
give me a hand?
You made this?
From scratch?
Been making things from
scratch since I was Josh's age.
Stop moving, please.
Sorry.
Well, you're very good
at your job.
I had no idea.
Well...
You're such
a very busy person.
Got plenty of time now,
that's for sure.
It's become very apparent
over the last few weeks
that I am 'not what
they're looking for.'
- Stop moving, please.
- Sorry.
My brother left again, you know.
I know.
It was just a matter
of time, really.
Josh and Mom always
have hopes that he'll stay.
And you?
At this point I just sort
of expect him to take off.
Ow!
Quit moving.
Sorry.
Maybe that needs to stop.
What?
Your expectations.
Yeah...maybe it does.
I, uh...
I was not
very nice the other day,
at Josh's party.
I was not very nice to you.
No. You were not.
I'm sorry.
There seems to be--
Apparently there's been some
talk between some people
and the clergy that Josh...
I mean, I guess
I understand, you know.
When you take into consideration
the dress wearing,
playing with dolls,
occasionally,
the cheering, constantly.
There seems to be an issue
with Josh being, um--
Well, I mean,
maybe being, um...
Artistic.
Artistic.
OK.
Stop moving, please.
Sorry.
He doesn't want
to wrestle, Charlie.
I just-- I don't want to
admit defeat, you know?
I don't want to admit that
I have no idea what I'm doing.
I don't know what to do.
What am I gonna do?
Ow! Are you doing that
on purpose?
This is not about you, Andrea.
This is about Joshua, who -
my personal two cents worth -
who is probably not going
to have a very easy go of it
in years to come.
You want to talk about not being
what they're looking for?
Sure, let's have
that discussion.
You have one of the smartest,
funniest, most sensitive
little boys I've ever had
the pleasure of knowing.
You're missing an
amazing opportunity, Andrea.
You can be there for him.
You could help him.
But let him figure it out.
Charlie, I--
This is what he wants, Andrea.
This is all he needs.
You're enough.
Let him off the hook.
Let yourself off the hook.
I'm sorry.
OK.
OK.
I have a terrible
habit of crunching on ice,
so I avoid keeping
any in the freezer.
But I can offer you the frozen
peas and carrot combo
or the chopped spinach.
Your choice.
Um...
For his eye.
Well, it's perfect.
♪
Can I help you?
I'm waiting on the mail.
Can you wait over there?
Can you just hand it to me?
I can't.
Why not?
It's not allowed.
- What are you doing?
- Sorting.
Why didn't you
do that earlier?
They did.
At the post office.
So why are you--
I'm double checking.
Is there anything for me?
Who are you?
Joshua Alexander Dowd.
I can't tell you.
Why not?
I don't look at the names.
I just deliver it.
I'm looking
to make a change.
In a few areas, actually,
but this needs
to be the first.
Don't get me wrong.
St. Mary's is a fine school.
Fine school.
But I know he hears things.
I mean, he's not
a stupid little kid.
I know he picks up on
what they're saying.
You have regular classes
here as well, right?
I mean it's not just
all tumbling and dance?
It's not just all
tumbling and dance.
And we're connected
with one of the top
science magnet schools
in the state.
The kids all get regular
classes up until lunch.
Then they have their
choice of art electives,
be it tumbling and dance,
or singing, painting, writing.
I'm pretty sure it'll
be tumbling and dance.
♪
Hello.
Hey.
Um, I seem to have taken
a wrong turn somewhere
on my way back
from the bathroom.
Which way to the offices?
Back downstairs.
You in trouble?
What?
No. Are you?
No.
You must be science.
I haven't seen you before.
Is this your first day?
Oh, I don't go here.
My Mom's having an
interview or something.
Where do you go?
St. Mary's.
Over in Normal Heights.
Oh, sorry.
Me too.
Thanks.
My name's Joshua.
Anthony.
Like the Patron
Saint of lost things.
What happened to your eye?
Wrestling practice.
You wrestle?
Yep.
Well, I did.
I wasn't very good.
What about you?
What?
Wrestle.
Me?
I'm a choreographer.
♪
[dog growling]
Shhh!
Shut up, shut up.
Shh!
[dog growling]
Shh!
Hey, Uncle Alex.
Hey.
Shhh.
What are you doing here?
Didn't know where else to go.
You gonna want
your bunk back?
Maybe later, buddy.
You stay there tonight.
Are you moving back in?
Don't know yet.
Will you still be here
tomorrow night at 7?
Probably.
OK.
Good night.
Night, Josh.
It was like this
gigantic pyramid
with like 100 cheerleaders.
And guess what?
I was on the top
of the pyramid.
Usually I'm a base,
'cause I'm a boy.
Boys are always
forced to base.
But this time
I got to be the top.
Good morning, Uncle Alex.
Alex.
How'd you sleep?
Ah, you know.
'Cause you snored all night.
Sorry.
Josh was just telling us about
this dream he had last night.
Yeah.
I was a cheerleader,
Uncle Alex.
Not the mascot even,
but an official
member of the team.
And not only that -
I was assistant captain.
- You were?
- Yeah.
And we were cheering
at the county
parochial wrestling tournament.
The Saints were about
to win the championship.
Mike was doing real good.
- That's exciting.
- You bet.
And you were there.
And you were there.
And you were there,
too, Uncle Alex.
You were there too!
Honey, time check.
Oh. Gotta go.
I think you
should stay a while.
Yeah, buddy.
Maybe I will.
OK.
Let me give you a hand
with that, Monkey.
Here we go.
OK.
Coffee?
Yeah. Thanks.
You can't keep doing
this to him, Alex.
He gets his...
Hopes up. I know.
Every time you come back.
You can't keep
doing this to us.
Where's all Dad's...
Stuff?
Sold it.
Most of it.
This is, uh...
This is for Josh.
That's the $48 I owe him.
And I figure, you know,
with some extra for interest,
maybe $110 sounds fair.
Sounds fair.
Thinking about cleaning out
the garage, and...
Fixing it up.
Yeah.
And making it, you know...
Livable.
Sure.
I found some new good
stuff out on the road.
Thought about maybe
sticking around
and setting up a little...
Shop around the corner.
Yeah.
Just like Dad...
Always wanted to.
Yeah.
I'm doing the best
I know how, Andy.
I know.
Saved this for Charlie.
Completes his set.
Also...
wanted to hold on to this.
Where'd you get that?
In his stuff.
He saved it?
Always tried to
get me to play.
Talked about how
he always let you win -
until you got too good.
Then he couldn't figure out
how to get you to lose.
Figured you could teach Josh
and the two of you could play.
Or I could teach Josh,
after you teach me.
Maybe you and I could play.
Whatever.
And Josh can cheer.
Or he and I could
play and you could -
I don't know -
tell us what to do.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
You'd better be.
Just because you're bigger
doesn't mean I can't...
Kick my ass?
That's right.
I am older.
By six and a half minutes.
That's right.
I don't know
where this goes.
I don't know where
this goes either.
It goes here.
English book.
And tonight, at 7:00 my Mom,
Grandma, Uncle Alex and I
are all going to see
"Plymouth Rock Live."
The class that I'll be in,
starting on Monday,
are going to be the vegetables
in the Cornucopia Chorus.
Mathematics.
I could've been a carrot.
Or some broccoli, if I
was in the class right now.
My new friend, Anthony,
he helped choreograph
the 2nd graders
Turkey Feather Ballet.
He's gonna be a plum,
even though that's
officially a fruit.
I've never understood
why St. Mary's
doesn't have holiday pageants.
You'd think you'd at least
have a stations of the cross,
or a living nativity scene.
You probably could have even
gotten a real baby for Jesus.
Science.
My new school has
a science lab.
Can you believe that?
I don't know that I'll really
get to use it since
my major is
gonna be the arts.
St. Mary's has a science lab.
Oh, it's really more
of a kitchen, I think.
Religious history.
And the best part of all...
Do you want to guess?
Not really.
That's all right.
I get to try out for
the cheerleading team.
Actually, not until the new year
since the squad already
has their routines worked out
for the Christmas pep rally.
And you have two
library books out.
Yes.
Here they are...
"Fund-raising for Kids" and
"Are you there, God?
It's Me, Margaret."
And your desk and your
cubby are all cleaned out?
Cleared out and cleaned up.
Then it looks like that's it.
We're done.
Really?
I think so.
OK.
All right.
Well...
You're a very spirited
young man, Mr. Dowd.
There is no
question about that.
I think you'll make
a very good cheerleader
at your new school.
Really?
I think so, Joshua.
Yes.
That's the first time
you've ever told me yes.
Happy Thanksgiving,
Sister Vivian.
I've enjoyed being a Saint.
I think I'd want
to be a plum, too.
♪
OK!
We are the Saints.
The Saints can't be beat.
And when you hear us
yelling go, fight, win -
you stomp your feet.
Hit it!
Go! Go!
Fight! Fight!
Win! Win!
Go, fight, win!
Again!
Go! Go!
Fight! Fight!
Win! Win!
Go, fight, win!
[whistle sounds]
♪
Josh, you scared
the hell out of me, man.
- What?
- I've been driving for like...
I can't hear you.
I can't hear you!
I can't hear you.
Oh, right. Sorry.
- Hey, Josh.
- Hi, Uncle Alex.
What are you doing here?
Is your grandmother home?
No. She moved out.
Are you moving back in?
No.
What? Why?
Why what?
Mom...uh, your grandmother.
She moved out?
- Yep.
- Why?
She survived one mother,
and certainly didn't need
to see Andrea's nose poking
into her business
every time she turned around.
Who?
Andrea.
Andrea?
Your sister.
Your mother?
Right.
She moved out?
No. She's inside
feeding the dog.
Who?
Your mother or my mother?
Andrea!
Oh, right.
Right.
So, I gotta go.
Hey, will you sign this?
Are you gonna
want your bunk back?
I don't think
I'm staying, buddy.
I get home from
school about three.
Think you'll still be here?
Probably.
All right.
Yeah...
All right.
B--
Bye.
[phone ringing]
Shit!
Hello?
Oh, hi!
Mr. Grant?
Hi, this is Andrea Dowd.
How are you today?
Who is this?
Um...Andrea Dowd.
I'm the producer for local
news Channel 9 at 3:30.
I watch Live at 4
on Channel 5.
Most people do, sir.
But I don't work for them.
I do, however,
work with Halle Hinton,
from "Nice to meet ya,
Normal Heights."
What are you selling?
No, no I'm not
selling anything.
I'm with the show,
with Halle Hinton.
We profile different
and interesting residents
of Normal Heights.
Sort of a 'who are the
people in your neighborhood'
kind of thing.
Remember we spoke
early last week?
What's for sale?
Anyway, you're scheduled
to be our guest
next Monday, October 20th.
so I'm just calling
to confirm...
♪
Channel 9 News at 3:30.
Yes.
Hi!
Alex, what are you--
Hey, Andy.
Mr. Grant, Mr. Grant?
Mr. Grant, I'm gonna
call you right back, OK?
Oh my God.
I didn't expect to see you.
Are you--
OK?
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm so glad you
called the other day.
We hadn't heard from
you again in almost--
A year.
I know.
I was in--
Kansas?
This all his--
Stuff.
Everything I could fit
in the car, anyway.
You're not bringing
it in, are you?
I didn't know what
else to do with it.
My God, you stink.
Well, I've been
driving for a--
Few days.
Apparently.
Are you homeless again?
Have you been living
out of your car?
No.
Well, yes, currently.
What?
Alex, for how long?
Officially, for
about 32 hours.
Can I come in, please?
Yes, yes, of course.
Come in. Come in.
Um, I gotta get the boxes.
Alex, they're fine.
I gotta get the--
Boxes.
All right.
Sure.
Oh! I swear I'm gonna
get this thing
surgically implanted in my ear.
Hi, Halle.
Be there in three minutes.
Yeah, I've got the coffee.
Yeah, they
over-steamed the milk.
Just the way you like it.
No, no, no.
No problem.
OK.
You're welcome.
I'll be there really soon.
I'm sorry. OK.
Do you still have your key?
Uh, yeah.
You remember where
the fresh towels are?
I'm fine.
I've got all my...
Shit.
Cabinet underneath the--
Sink.
There's fresh soap there, too.
Any thoughts on
what to do with his--
Don't really care.
I figured you'd maybe
wanna go through--
Alex, no.
I don't.
Look, I'm really sorry -
for you.
I'm really sorry for
you that Dad died.
But I hadn't heard from him
since high school.
He didn't care to
know me or Joshua.
No, he asked about you guys--
End of story.
I don't care what
you do with it.
I'd prefer you
not keep it here.
You on the other hand,
this is your home.
You can stay as
long as you need.
You know that.
OK.
Just a couple of things,
though, real quick.
Josh's new bed time
is eight o'clock.
Sharp.
No keeping him up late again.
OK?
We're trying to eat healthier,
so if you could just
keep that in mind.
And just clean
up after yourself.
It's not that much to ask.
It's really good
to see you, Alex.
Yeah, thanks.
I mean, you too.
It's good to see you too.
Hey.
You drinkin' both
those coffees?
♪
[children cheering]
Thank you, sixth graders.
Wow!
What a wonderful
way to start off
our Friday School
Spirit Pep Rally.
But let's keep moving.
Up next, let's give
a big Saints' welcome
to Sister Todd's
fourth grade class.
[applause]
Ready?
OK!
Big G
Little O
D
Go, go, go, go, go, go, God!
Big G
Little O
No.
See, I figured that's what
you were going to say.
So, I've done
a little preparation.
According to "Spirit Now!",
the official cheer and dance
handbook for our region,
in our category, elementary
level grades K through 6th,
a cheer team can be made up
of anywhere between
8 and 14 members.
Both male and female
cheerers allowed.
Is that what it says?
Right here.
Page 11.
Oh, yes, under the public
elementary school guidelines.
You seem to have forgotten
that St. Mary's
is a private Catholic
school, putting us under
the Parochial/Christian
guidelines.
Page 17.
Parochial/Christian grades
K through 6 can be made up
of 6 to 12 members.
Females only.
I was hoping you
hadn't read that part.
You can't break
the rules, Mr. Dowd.
I'm not trying to
break the rules.
I'm trying to change them.
Joshua, listen to me.
There's no you on this team.
This is embarrassing,
Sister Vivian,
but I believe the actual saying
is "there's no I in team."
You will never be
part of the team.
Never is a very strong
word, Sister Vivian.
Never's for losers, and the
Saints are here to win!
Again!
Never's for losers, and
with God's love we'll win.
♪
Mmm.
Yum!
Well, add me to
the list of believers.
I, for one, can confirm that
this just might be
the best red zinger
I've ever had.
It was delicious, Pablo.
Pedro.
I'm Halle Hinton for
Channel 9 News at 3:30,
reporting to you live from
Urban Mo's Bar and Grill.
Who knows where
we'll pop up next?
Could be your front door.
[doorbell sound effect]
But until that time comes,
It's nice to meet ya,
Normal Heights.
Steve, Linda, back to you.
And we're out.
Jesus, what is this -
lime juice all over your hand?
That was great, Halle.
Really fun stuff.
Can I get a wet-nap?
They want to come back to you
right after the weather
to promote next week's
Native Normal Heightian.
I have the breakdown...
A baby butt wipe,
at the very least.
OK.
We're profiling the curator
at the new little
modern art gallery
on 34th, Nuevo-Newmans.
She's actually the great
granddaughter of one of
the first business owners
here in Normal Heights -
Ned's Grain and Feed Shop.
You might remember
we did a little piece about
eight months ago on Ned's
brother, her great uncle,
Randall Newman.
I don't know.
Oh.
At the time, Normal Height's
oldest living resident,
rest his soul.
Stay still.
Cindy Newman,
the curator is the one...
No, I'm here.
- Turn.
- Sorry.
Is he OK?
Stay still.
No, I'll call them right back.
Sorry.
I mean, thank you.
It's probably a blessing
you work behind the camera.
Can I get a diet iced
something of some sort?
♪
[knocking on door]
Hello, Joshua?
Sir?
Hello.
[record player stuck]
Oh, Daisy Love.
She's a little known
cabaret singer from the...
...early 60s.
Yes. So it says.
Born in Paris,
but raised in Miami Beach.
She got her start
singing for pennies
on street corners
after school.
Do you know her?
Well, not personally, no.
I should have been so lucky.
But every respectable gay man
over the age of 40
knows Daisy Love.
The pain,
the longing--
No.
No, I'm not...
I'm not g...
Yeah, I'm none
of those things.
What?
Gay. Or 40.
How about respectable?
I haven't heard
this in years.
This is very rare, you know.
It belonged to my Dad.
It was on the record player
already when I got it.
And was he?
What?
You know...
No. I don't think so.
I don't know. No.
Honey, are you sure?
I can fix that, you know.
You've torn your pants.
I'm a tailor.
Charles New.
Next door neighbor.
What happened to
Mrs. Harrison?
She died
about three months ago.
Seems to be going around.
Well, she was a million
and a half years old.
It was about time.
She was my father's sister.
I inherited the house.
Now take off your pants.
I'm sorry?
I can stitch those up
lickety-split,
have 'em back on
your butt by dinner.
Come on.
Hand them over.
It's a helmet--
well, ear guard, technically.
It's called the Tornado.
Do you like it?
Yeah.
It's nice.
The clerk at the
store said it's what
all the high school
boys are wearing.
That's pretty cool, huh?
Hey, who's that?
Huh?
On your button.
Mike.
Who?
The captain of the
junior wrestling team.
Look at you!
Oh, I love it.
Hello, sir.
Oh, Mr. New, I'm so sorry!
I meant to call you.
I meant to let you know
you didn't need to
look in on Joshua
this afternoon.
- I'm so sorry.
- It's all right.
[yelling, clanking noises]
Mother Fu...
You'll excuse me.
So that's Uncle Alex?
Yep.
Oh! Where's my mind?
Today was Pep Rally Day!
Oh, no.
Did your class not win?
Sister Margaret's 6th graders
got the Spirit Stick.
Again.
We got a Cheer Certificate.
But I didn't get to cheer.
What?
The nun said no.
No?
Little boys
can't be cheerleaders.
Little boys can be whatever
they want to be, Joshua.
Don't you forget that.
Joshua.
I've got spirit, yes I do.
I've got spirit,
how 'bout you?
I've got spirit, yes I do.
I've got spirit,
how 'bout you?
I've got spirit, yes I do.
I've got...
Joshua!
What do you mean, you didn't
read it before you signed it?
I didn't read it
before I signed it.
- Hey, Uncle Alex.
- Hey, Josh.
Why are you in your underwear?
Guy from next door
took my pants.
I think I need some ice.
Cool hat.
It's a boat.
Is this today's paper?
Alex, I hadn't read this yet.
And you shouldn't be
signing things for him.
You're not his legal...
...guardian.
All right.
I got it. I'm sorry.
I can't sign anything
for you again.
That's all right.
Wait a minute, young man.
You're the one who should be
apologizing to your Uncle.
Oh, that's not necessary.
Alex.
I'm sorry.
For what?
For making you
sign my late note.
You didn't make me--
Alex.
It's all right.
OK.
OK.
OK.
[phone ringing]
We are the Saints.
Who?
Green, gold, and white.
Yeah!
St. Mary's Saints.
What?
Are out of sight!
Introduce yourself!
My name's Breanna.
Hi!
I sing Hosanna.
Yeah!
And with God's love.
What?
I'll rise above.
Hello, Breanna.
Hi!
You are a Saint.
Yeah!
We know you're proud.
What?
So say it loud.
Go Saints!
We are the Saints.
Who?
Green, gold, and white.
Yeah!
[And with His help.
We'll win this fight!
My name is Josh.
Hi!
I've got panache.
Yeah!
And on God's mat.
What?
Is where it's at.
Remember, I talked
about it all last year.
But you have to
be 11 to go.
You're still 10, Josh.
Now. Not after November 8th.
And the camp doesn't even
start until December 27th.
So...
You'll be old enough to go.
Exactly!
Charlie said it was fate
that I saw the ad
in the first place.
Out of all the hats
I could have--
Boats.
Right.
Out of all the boats
I could have picked up,
I picked the one with
the application.
He called it kis..mes..try -
or something.
Kismet.
That's it! Kismet.
He said it's a sign.
It's meant to be, huh?
I mean, what else am I gonna
do over Christmas break?
I don't know.
Maybe you could come
to work with me.
Hang out with the camera guy.
See how we
make it all happen.
Yeah.
That sounds like fun.
Thing is, I already applied.
Joshua!
When?
Last night.
I wanted mine to be
the first one in.
It says they're
looking for cheerers
with initiative and passion.
I think that shows
initiative and passion.
Will there be other kids
from your class going?
Definitely Breanna.
I mean, she's captain
of the Junior Squad.
She's gotta represent.
But, I'm sure the other
girls will be going.
A hundred and ten dollars?
That sounds like a lot of
money for four half days, Josh.
Maybe.
But it does include a T-shirt,
duffle bag, water bottle,
sports towel, and pom-poms.
It's just not
a good time, honey.
Between your school tuition,
having to pick up
all the bills since
Grandma moved out.
And now with
your Uncle Alex back...
I'll pay for it myself.
What?
At a dollar fifty a week,
your allowance ain't
gonna cut it, buddy boy.
How do you plan
on doing that?
I don't know.
But I can pay for it myself.
I know I can.
I don't want you to
get your hopes up.
You know that week after
Christmas gets crazy putting
together Halle's end
of the year wrap up.
Unless that plan changes,
don't know that I'll be able
to get you there and back.
A positive attitude,
determination, and a whole lot
of moxy are all key
factors to success.
Thanks.
I'll have to remember that.
♪
Ready?
OK!
Hey, you, in the car.
You're not moving very far.
Wake up.
Hit the gas.
The Saint's are
gonna kick your--
[horn blowing]
Is he dead?
Gosh, I hope not.
He owes me two bucks.
Alexander!
Wake up!
This is your Mother!
He was a couple weeks
late with the rent.
The landlord found him in bed
with an empty six-pack
and some porn.
At least he died happy.
You really moved out?
Oh, honey.
There comes a time
in every parent's life
when their children must
leave the nest and fly away.
Mine...
apparently are never
going to do that.
So, I stop by every
weekend to see my Monkey,
a couple of times for
dinner, and as often as I can
to annoy your sister.
But I'm just
around the corner,
so it's like I never left.
You didn't get very far.
Car wouldn't start.
Let me buy you breakfast.
I thought you quit smoking.
Oh, I did.
The pot, that is.
And the cigs
for a while, too.
Then I met this younger man...
Whoa, baby!
Well, you understand.
Anyway, I realized that neither
the man or the cigarettes
were very good for my health,
so I quit them both.
Unless I'm here.
It drives your sister crazy.
Have one.
Yeah, all right.
♪
♪ He, hello
and how are you? ♪
♪ What's your name
and what do you do? ♪
♪ It's nice to meet you. ♪
♪ Nice to meet you. ♪
♪ Nice to meet you,
Normal Heights. ♪
You may be far,
you may be near.
Please show yourself,
and join us here.
Come on in.
Nice to meet ya.
Oh, nice to meet ya.
Oh, goodness!
Where'd you come from?
Good afternoon,
Normal Heights.
You all know who I am,
let me introduce you
to our neighbor of the day.
Mabel, is it?
Ma, Mab-
Oh, scary.
Mabel's just one of the many
haunts you'll find at the
Not-so Normal Heights
Haunted Hideaway.
I myself haven't been
through the Hideaway this year.
Mabel, give us an idea
of what we can expect.
Aahhh!
Don't want to give
it away, right?
That might ruin
the surprise.
Mabel, I understand
you've become
quite a regular
at the Hideaway.
Is it true this is your
14th consecutive year?
Not appropriate for
the afternoon news!
OK, yeah, OK.
Thank you.
You're about right,
it's time to wrap it up.
The Not-so Normal Heights
Haunted Hideaway
opens officially tonight,
and carries on through our
spooktacular weekend.
Join us on Monday
when we interview
Normal Height's
own Pumpkin Farmer.
This is Halle Hinton for
Channel 9 news at 3:30.
Who knows where
we'll pop up next?
Could be your front door.
[doorbell sound]
Until that time,
it's nice to meet ya,
Normal Heights.
Aahh!
♪ Nice to meet you,
Normal Heights ♪
Uh...
Is there a reason my
son is running away?
Jog-a-thon.
It was my idea.
Twenty-five cents for every
trip around the block.
The big Italian
family right behind us -
they should net him
a good couple of bucks.
Shouldn't somebody
be running with him?
He's fine.
He should be coming back
around the corner any second.
Oh, he has been averaging
about 4 minutes a lap.
What if he trips?
Or passes out?
Are his shoes tied?
If we don't see him in next
minute and a half
I will call for
assistance personally.
Mrs. Ortiz up the block
set up a little watering
station to keep him going.
Oh, come on, Andrea.
You've already
clocked out, honey.
Move, move.
Cheer the kid on.
Come on, come on.
How long have I got?
Oh, 68 seconds -
give or take.
[phone ringing]
Hello...
This is Andrea.
You can't just not show
up for your practice.
I got a call
from your school
and they're wondering
where you are.
At my jog-a-thon.
When you were supposed
to be at your practice.
You made the commitment at the
beginning of the school year.
Remember?
We sat and went over
all your options.
You chose wrestling.
Here's the thing
about wrestling.
If I could just quit
going to practice,
then maybe I'd have time
to join the Junior--
What is it with the men in
the family running away
from their commitments?
We're not quitters, Josh.
No, I know that.
We can talk to Sister Vivian
at the end of the semester.
Maybe you can switch
sport electives then.
But I told Coach Father
Patrick you'd be back
on the mat
tomorrow afternoon.
All right?
All right.
- We're good?
- We're good.
You're gonna be as big
as your Uncle Alex
before we know it.
I bet he could
show you some moves.
He was a Saint's wrestler
once upon a time.
Used to sit on me
all the time.
It's going on two
weeks now, big guy.
You planning
on doing anything
with any of this
stuff anytime soon?
Figured I'd leave
it right there.
Just in case you gotta go?
Yeah, just in case.
Or we find someplace
to put it -
you know, that's not
by the front door.
Just in case you wanna stay.
Yeah, that could
be fun, buddy.
But I gotta think about
goin' back to work.
Work?
What do you do?
I'm in retail.
What do you sell?
Presently I'm involved with
antiques and collectibles.
You gather as much junk
as you can find,
take it to
a local swap meet,
use the money you
make to buy more junk,
and then move
to a new city.
That's not retail.
I'm a traveling salesman.
Like Grandpa.
Currently without
the ability to travel.
My father's a professor
of communications
and public interests.
Your father's
a son of a bitch.
Mother!
So was yours.
- Can I borrow your car?
- No.
Have you always
wanted to be
a traveling salesman
like Grandpa?
Never thought about it.
Just sort of happened.
I don't want
to be a professor
of communications
and public interests.
Or a son of a bitch.
- Mom.
- Mom.
Hey, we could be partners.
Yeah, family business.
See, what I'm thinking is we
could spend the next couple
of days driving around looking
for cheap stuff in alleys
and at Goodwills,
clean it up and--
Can I be on the team?
Sure.
Great idea, buddy.
I have a job, Alex.
And you have homework.
Need any help?
What do you know
about fractions?
Not a hell of a lot.
I'm good. Thanks.
Hey, can I have these sheets?
Sure.
Can I cut them up?
Do whatever you
want with them.
But they're not sheets.
They're curtains.
They were his curtains.
Is that gonna be a problem?
- Can I borrow your car?
- No.
- Can I borrow your car?
- No!
- Can I borrow your car?
- Quit it!
♪
Well, don't stand out there
like a Jehovah's Witness.
Get in here.
What have
you brought me?
- The perfect fabric.
- Let's look at this.
Oh, this might do.
Do we have permission
to use this?
Yeah, I asked my Uncle Alex.
It's all good.
Then what are we waiting for?
Come in this house.
You must be measured.
♪
[car engine cranking]
[record playing]
- Come on, Mike.
- Take him down.
- Come on.
- Concentrate.
- Come on, Mike.
- Kick his butt.
- Come on, Mike.
- Get up, Mike.
Get up, Mike.
Get up. Fight.
The Lord is
on your side, Mike.
Get up. Cheer.
The Lord is
always near, Mike.
You can do it,
use your Strength.
There's nothing to it.
Just have faith.
Goooooo, Mike!
Whoo, yeah, Mike!
Come on, Mike!
Get up!
Get up! Yeah!
I noticed at the last
Pep Rally that what
St. Mary's was missing
was a mascot.
Page 8.
In order for a mascot to be
considered a member of the team,
he or she must be able
to perform stunts,
gymnastics, or act as
a spotter for a pyramid.
Do you have any
of those skills?
Technically, not yet.
No.
Give me a J.
We got your J,
we got your J.
Give me an O.
We got your O,
we got your O.
Give me an S.
We got your S,
we got your S.
Give me an H.
We got your H,
we got your H.
Now hush, shhhh!
You don't want to
mess with Josh.
Do ya, do ya?
Do ya, do ya?
No!
You don't want to
mess with Josh!
Ssshhhh...
Josh.
Psst!
Hey, buddy, you awake?
Josh.
Hey, Josh.
Hey, Josh. Hey Josh...
Uncle Alex!
What?
Knock it off.
Sure.
Josh.
What?
You awake?
No.
Why?
I've got to talk to you
about your cheerleading?
Did Andrea ask
you to do this?
Who? No.
Uncle Alex, turn on the light.
I bet you'd be surprised
to learn that the first ever
cheerleader was a Minnesota
undergrad named Jack Campbell.
That's right.
Jack's a man.
Sure.
It's well known that sports is
a mostly male-dominated arena.
It wasn't even until
the 1920s that women began
to be introduced
to the sport of cheer.
I didn't know that.
And did you know that
actor Jimmy Stewart
was a cheerleader?
So was president
George W. Bush.
That's not much
of a selling point.
And in 1946,
Lawrence 'Herkie' Herkimer
held the first cheerleading
clinic on the campus--
Buddy, it's OK.
You don't have to convince me.
If you want to cheer,
that's cool.
Cheer.
You're not here
to talk me out of it?
Why would I do that?
OK, anyway.
I need your help.
Your Mom, uh, Andrea--
I know her.
Yeah, well.
She told me I had 24 hours
to get a job - or else.
What?
What what?
Or else what?
I don't know.
Hadn't thought about it.
She's probably right,
though, you know.
Sometimes.
Does this mean you're staying?
We'll see how it goes.
OK.
OK.
Uncle Alex.
Oh, right.
The job.
I told them I could dance.
Or at least bounce.
And twirl -
whatever that means.
So I need your help.
I need some moves, Josh.
I thought with your
cheer background,
you could teach me some moves.
How long have we got?
What time is it?
10:17.
Nine hours, 43 minutes.
♪
Did you understand
the assignment?
Of course.
Joshua.
As your favorite person
in religious history?
She tried to be a nun.
I thought Sister Todd would
have gotten a big kick
out of my appreciation
for the sisterhood.
Maria Von Trapp?
So?
Couldn't you have picked a guy?
Maybe a pope.
One of the apostles,
at the very least.
The assignment was to
pick our favorite person
in religious history -
the person that
inspired us most -
and then represent
that person.
What's the problem?
You're a little boy.
You need to dress
like a little boy.
Cynthia Marie Keenan shows up
as St. Francis of Assisi-
equipped with live bird and
bald spot - and I get sent
to Sister Vivian for
promoting peace through song.
It's not fair.
It's different.
How?
No, it's not.
Yes, it is.
How?
I don't know, honey.
It just is.
And her bird even pooped
all over John Michael's
really tacky cardboard cross.
- Father.
- Sister.
This is the mother.
Ms. Dowd.
I take it Mr. Dowd
was unavailable.
Mr. Dowd's been
unavailable since 1998.
There's no Mr.
It's just me...
Us.
There is no father.
It's just the two of us.
So it is.
[phone rings]
Oh, Jesus Christ!
Sorry.
So Sorry.
♪
I'll take care of it.
I promise.
I'm so sorry.
Did I say that already?
Can I say it enough?
All right.
Nice to have met you,
Father Dominic.
Sister Vivian, I will have him
back here first thing tomorrow
morning for school mass.
In pants.
Right.
[cell phone ringing]
I swear to God, Halle,
we are right around the corner.
This is not the right address.
Uncle Alex!
Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
Stay in the car, please.
Is that my diet passion?
Halle, what happened
to the pumpkin farmer?
Honey, we've done ethnic
twice this week already.
Is this crushed ice?
Uh, yeah, I'm not so sure.
See, the thing is
is that we've been running the
pumpkin farmer promo all day,
for Halloween, so I'm not sure
how changing the profile
this late in the game is really
gonna go over with Ed.
Ready?
OK!
But Andrea, the pumpkin
farmer's gone, closed.
- What do you mean?
- Dead, for all I know.
But I called and confirmed.
I think I called
and confirmed.
Ed's gonna have a fit.
You have no idea.
Knees up, Uncle Alex!
Honey, stay in the car, please.
I thought you
had a little boy.
I do.
That's my son, Joshua.
He's wearing a dress.
Yeah, well it's Halloween.
He's Maria Von Trapp.
That's so cute.
None of my gay friends
ever did drag
until at least their 20s.
No, Halle, he's not...
Halle, he's only
10 years old,
so you can't really say--
Only 10? Really?
Well, he's almost 11.
He's big for his age.
I'll say.
Hey, Andy.
Maybe we should call Mom
and tell her
I'm gonna be on TV.
This one's
kind of cute, huh?
So, this one's
kind of my brother.
What? No!
Yeah...
My twin brother, actually.
Hey Andy!
Maybe we should--
What?
No, I'm here, Ed.
Call Mom and tell her
I'm gonna be on TV!
I heard you!
Sorry, no, sorry.
Knees up!
Smile!
Go back to the car, honey!
I'm sorry, Ed.
We've had some tech problems,
but I can hear you now.
Um, about the
pumpkin farmer.
Twins?
Really?
I'd never have guessed.
You're such a handsome man.
Thank you.
Thank you.
No, we lost the
pumpkin farmer.
Sorry, when?
I understand.
It's just with the switch out
we're running a bit
behind schedule.
Halle Hinton.
Nice to meet ya.
How do you do?
Yes, I understand
it's live TV.
We're a go.
OK, Halle we're going live.
When?
In about 45 seconds.
Halle, this is Alex.
Alex, Halle.
We've met.
Mark! We're on!
She'll be asking
you questions,
nothing too personal.
The segment should
last about a minute,
a minute and a half tops.
Ignore the camera.
Just look at her.
Mark! Let's go!
Alex is a native
of Normal Heights.
He's...
Single.
Mark!
Halle, I'm gonna need you
to put the drink down.
OK, come on.
What?
Copy that.
OK.
Your intro music
is about to start.
We've got about 20 seconds.
- Mark, come on buddy.
- Right.
- How do I look?
- Real nice.
OK.
Alex, I need you
to stand right here.
Stay on that spot.
You don't have to move.
Halle Hinton.
Halle Hinton.
We're live in 12.
Alex, your sign
is upside down.
Halle, put the drink down.
Your sign!
OK, we are live
in 5...
Where's my mic?
My nose!
♪ Nice to meet ya,
Normal Heights! ♪
Oh, God.
Oh, my God...
Uh, hi!
Good afternoon,
Normal Heights.
I'm Halle Hinton--
Wow, that must have hurt!
Joshua, not now.
Go back to the car.
I'm not Halle Hinton.
Halle Hinton
is out sick today.
I don't think she's breathing.
Joshua, she's fine!
Get back to the car!
When do we talk about me?
What are you doing here?
Working.
This can't be real.
Oh, yeah.
No, it is.
"No move in fee,
first month free."
- This is your job?
- Yes.
This is the only
job you could get?
This is the
only job I applied for.
She's all right!
But I think she broke
her shaking hand.
Oh, God!
Hi! Today we're
here with Alex...
Dowd.
Alex Dowd.
OK.
Also, her brother.
Can I say that?
Am I allowed to say that?
You just did.
Stop looking at the camera.
And Josh's uncle.
(Halle)
Lemonade is on the counter...
Um, no, Mark!
OK.
Um, Hi.
Uh, um, Alex is
a native of Normal--
I gotta say,
I expected a little more.
What?
Lights or something.
Catering, at least.
What are you
talking about?
You're always running
around about to explode.
I figured there was
more to your job
than just a guy
with a video camera.
No offense.
And some woman who -
I don't know what you're
talking about -
seems pretty nice to me.
Ready?
OK!
Get up!
Stand up and fight.
Who knows where we'll
pop up next time.
Maybe your front door.
Awww, really?
But until that time comes...
I'm Andrea Dowd
and it's been nice
to meet you, Normal Heights.
♪ Nice to meet ya,
Normal Heights! ♪
♪
Ready?
OK!
Being fired's not so bad.
You'll never get
far being sad.
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Shish, boom, bob.
Make that touchdown.
Get a job.
Goooooo, Mom!
Whoohoo!
Yeah!
I love you, Mom.
Hey, wait up.
I'll walk with you.
Love you, Mom.
Forgive me Father,
for I have sinned.
It's been...
I couldn't begin
to tell you how long
it's been since
my last confession.
That's all right.
Go ahead.
OK.
Well, I...
Father Dominic, is that you?
Sorry?
It's Andrea Dowd--
Uh, Ms. Dowd.
Josh's mother.
We met a few days ago
in Sister Vivian's office.
Oh, yes.
I remember.
How are you, Ms. Dowd?
How am I?
I'm gonna have to go
with not so good.
I didn't know
where else to go.
I saw the bulletin outside
about today's confessions
when I picked up
Josh the other day.
Kind of mocked
it a little bit.
I'm sorry about that,
by the way.
It's all right.
Can we open the screen?
Would you mind?
Sure.
Of course we can.
I don't know what
it is about it.
It just seems so impersonal.
That's sort of the point.
I hated it even in 8th grade.
Yes, I can open it.
Eighth grade.
That's it.
That was my last confession.
Hi.
Knees up, Uncle Alex!
You gotta smile
and keep your knees up.
If I get them as
high as you want,
they hit the
bottom of the sign.
You don't understand.
No excuses.
Remember, the three C's.
Commitment, Confidence...
And Charisma.
I know.
Hungry?
♪
Can I have the
can when you're done?
If I collect 500 I can cash
'em in for about $25.
When he was about five -
not quite five -
Josh finally asked
me about his Dad.
All the other kids at
daycare were making gifts
and cards for Father's Day -
those little clay imprints
of their hands.
Did you ever do that?
I got one the next
year for Mother's Day.
And he wanted to know
where his Daddy was.
I wanted to tell him dead,
and have that be the end of it.
What did you tell him?
The truth.
Or my version of the truth.
Which, of course, brought up
the question, repeatedly,
of why his daddy
didn't want him.
What do you tell
a little boy who keeps asking
why his daddy didn't want him?
When the truth of it was,
he didn't want me.
I was the one
he didn't want.
I've worked really hard
my whole life...at everything.
Doing everything
for everybody.
And I thought I'd finally
met someone who was
gonna take care of me
and make sure I was OK.
And I got carried away.
Plain and simple -
I pushed too hard.
And I knew better, too.
That's what makes it worse.
I mean, it's teaching
assistant rule number one.
You don't sleep with
your mentor.
It'd be like you
sleeping with Jes--
Bad example.
Sorry.
Oh, Mrs. Francis.
There you are.
Something smells good.
Now that I've got you here -
the Normal Heights
All-City Winter Cheer Camp
holds many possibilities
for a young boy like myself.
It allows me to learn
the importance of putting
the 'leader' before
the 'cheer.'
Giving me a leg up, really,
in both my school
and community.
At the moment,
I'm a little short of my
$110 attendance fee, by $87.
I have a couple of
different options here.
For one dollar, you have
a choice of dark
or milk chocolate
quarter-pound bars.
My five-dollar items are these
adorable little teddy bears
in St. Mary's official colors.
I have this list of magazines
for you to take a look at.
If I sell ten subscriptions,
I get the new DVD -
"Best of College Cheer:
Volume III."
Oh, and there's a special bonus
with whatever you purchase -
even the dollar candy bar.
Every little bit counts.
I'll give you a button
of my favorite
varsity wrestling team member.
I made extras.
I like Mike.
My phone hasn't
rung in five days.
That's a record.
A few hours tops is what
I'm used to, but five days?
I sat in the parking lot
the other day after we met,
waiting to pick up Josh.
First time in a long time
I'd been able to do that.
And I was watching
all the other mothers.
They have got it down.
I mean they've got this
whole mother thing figured out.
They make it look so easy.
I sat and watched him
for almost 20 minutes.
And he didn't even
know I was there.
You know?
I watched him play
with his little girl friends.
I watched him teach them
this cheer he made up.
I watched this group
of little boys point
and laugh at him
from across the courtyard.
But then totally unphased,
he just goes over and starts
braiding little Breanna's hair
until he realized that
it was time
for him to go home.
And he didn't even
know I was there.
Also, um...
I started smoking again.
That's really more of
a bad habit than a sin.
I just feel like a little
girl again, you know...
like I'm just waiting for
history to repeat itself.
Just waiting for my
biggest fear to come true.
What's that?
That I'll push too hard, and
Josh will want to leave me too.
I love my son more than
I've loved anything.
Ever.
You'll be the king of the
mountain with that gear.
Do you like it?
They're fantastic!
I wanted to get you an
actual wrestling dummy
to practice with,
but your Uncle Alex
seems to be filling
that role pretty well.
Plus, now you can keep
all your gear together.
Thanks, Mom.
Who's next?
I think it might be me.
I'm next.
I'm not sure it can compete
with all these other goodies,
but...
Really?
If you'd like it, I sure
would like you to have it.
Do you like it?
I love it.
Oh, good!
Happy birthday, Joshua.
Gosh, Mr. New,
it's such a lovely...gift.
It's just, well...
My gosh, look at it.
It looks so expensive.
No. It was one of my aunts.
The doll, I mean.
I made the outfit myself.
St. Mary's colors.
Green, gold and white.
Oh.
Is it an antique?
Antique, phooey.
It's just been laying around
the house collecting dust.
I'd be so much happier knowing
someone's enjoying him.
Maybe it should be
for a little girl.
A niece of yours, maybe.
I haven't any family.
You know that.
He's so handsome.
Let me see, monkey.
The squad is going flip out.
Mother, no, no, no.
It's a lovely,
lovely thought.
It's just, Josh,
you're 11 now.
And Father Dominic thinks--
When were you talking
to Father Dominic?
Uh, a couple of days ago.
And he thinks it'd be best
if you thought about
making some new friends.
You know, if you stopped
eating lunch with the squad
at the girl's table.
Then maybe the boys
would find a spot
for you at theirs
if you asked.
Andy, stop it.
No, mother.
It's not right.
Father Dominic thinks
he's not right.
You know what?
It's all right.
You're right, Andrea.
I apologize.
I wasn't thinking.
Charlie...
Happy birthday, young sir.
And you know what we'll do?
We can set him on
the mantle at my house.
You can visit him
whenever you'd like.
Now I should probably...
My sincere and deepest
apologies to all of you.
It was never my intention
to upset the festivities.
Good day.
Thanks for the gifts, Mom.
I really love them.
Josh, honey.
Wait a minute, sweetie.
Thanks for
the pom-poms, Grandma.
Happy birthday, monkey.
Wait! We gotta have cake.
No, thank you.
Grandma?
Yes, sir?
Could you take
Charlie a piece?
Sure thing, monkey.
What about your piece?
You gotta have the first
piece, birthday boy.
What?
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna go see
if I can, you know.
Yeah, sure.
The going gets tough,
the tough tries to
get the car started.
He taught you well, Alex.
You lasted longer than
I thought you would.
What about your new...
Job?
I was quitting after I got
paid on Friday, anyway.
Setting a pretty damn good
example for your nephew, too.
Whoa, wait a minute sister.
You're not being fair.
Fair?
You want to know
what's not fair?
Having your father walk out
the door when you're...
Eight years old.
I was there, too.
Yeah, but you went with him.
After high school
you got to be with him.
I showed up
on his doorstep, Andy,
and two days later he was gone.
Left me a couple hundred bucks
to fend for myself,
and no forwarding address.
I've spent the last 19 years
chasing him around the country,
trying to get to know him,
only to have him take off
as soon as I show up.
That sucks, Andy!
Don't make me out to be the
bad guy because I got to
have the occasional beer
with our Dad, while you went
and got knocked up by
some college professor
who shared his same first name.
I gotta get out of here.
Don't leave him again
like this, Alex!
He's not my kid, Andy!
You've got it under control.
You've made that
perfectly clear.
I gotta find a way
to get out of here.
Yeah, maybe you do.
♪
Ready?
OK!
Get up, fight.
Get to it.
Take the ball and run.
S, P I, R, I, T - Spirit.
Yell teamwork.
Come on, cheer!
Again!
S, P, I, R, I, T - Spirit.
Your victory
is very near!
Woohoo!
Time check, honey.
7:56.
Two more bites.
7:56.
God, I'm gonna be late.
Wait - 7:56?
7:57.
Josh, you're gonna be late.
Come on, baby, let's go.
Hey! No hug?
Have a good day.
Josh, your gear!
Wait!
Don't forget the Tornado.
♪
Damn it, Alex.
This is the first
in a series
of neighbors in
the medical field.
That's me in the
dentist chair, there.
A fun little
piece of trivia.
This is actually
a breaking news piece
we did about a year ago.
I'm sure you remember
the water-main break
we had near the park,
the one that created
a small mudslide
on the freeway.
A series of neighbors
at a local dog park.
And...that's it, actually.
But this is just
a small sampling.
With Halle we were doing at
least three segments a week,
sometimes up to five, so...
I've seen it.
[phone rings]
That's me.
I'm sorry.
I usually turn
it off before...
Sister Vivian's office.
Great.
Or, uh...
I usually keep it
in the car, actually.
Busy.
Uh, I was about to say...
You didn't finish college?
Hmm?
Your degree.
You didn't get your degree.
Well, I got my BA
from the Univ--
UCSB. I saw that.
Your Masters.
You have the school listed.
No graduation date.
Do you have your Masters?
No. I'm about a semester
and a half short,
but I had my son.
It was thought best
I take some time away.
You have a son?
Joshua...he's 10.
Uh, 11, actually.
He just had a birthday.
But I can handle it.
I run a tight...ship.
Single mothers were
a little cause for concern
at some of the other
interviews I've been on.
All of them actually.
Is that gonna be a problem?
Not mine.
[phone beeping]
They left a message.
Do you need to check that?
No.
It's my--
It's Joshua's school.
Boys.
He's probably
'herkied' his way
into some kind
of trouble again.
That's a cheerleading move.
Don't ask.
I won't.
OK, silence.
You know, you know I was
planning on going back -
to school, to finish my
Masters, you know,
what little I had left.
But the experience I was
getting on location was...
You know, if I could
I'd love to show you
some samples of news items
that I personally wrote.
[phone vibrating]
Mine.
That is so good!
They look pretty good.
Pretty good.
I mean, there are
still little moments
when they could be tighter.
Like, Jessica's roundoff
handspring full just kind of
looks like a fancy kart-wheel.
And Kelly should
not be a flyer.
I mean, look at her.
She's made to base.
But overall
they look pretty good.
You think so?
Yeah, but Breanna's
a good captain.
Everybody likes her.
They all like
each other, really.
And that's important.
Yeah, I can imagine.
Now wrestling.
Oh, God, Josh...
I don't know.
I think Uncle Alex gave me
false hopes about my abilities.
There I was, standing
on the mat opposite...
Matt Vance.
...who, I'd just like
it to be understood,
might only be a 3rd grader,
but the kid's got moves.
He's fast.
He's mean.
Next thing I know,
everything is upside down
and Matt is twisting
my right leg out to the side.
I kick higher on my right.
That was only round one.
Round two...
Slight improvement.
I mean, Coach said it took
him 3 seconds less
to pin me to the floor.
That's good.
For him.
Oh, God, Josh.
Round three.
Do it, Matt.
Smear the queer!
Smear the queer!
I took off running before Coach
could even blow the whistle.
I tripped on the end of the
mat and knocked myself out
with my knee.
Everybody laughed.
The squad would
have helped me.
They would have come
picked me up, you know?
'Cause that's what it's about.
That's what they
specialize in.
Picking people up.
Not knocking them down.
Whoever you are,
they want you to be the best
that you can possibly be -
'cause they get it;
we're all in this together.
I mean, look at them.
They're a team.
They're a family.
Your Daddy would
like you so much.
Really?
He would?
Mm-hmm.
He likes cheerleaders.
And you're so smart.
You're smart like he is.
You're really, really smart.
You're too smart.
He would like you so much.
Mama.
I'm sorry, but I don't think
I want to wrestle anymore.
♪
Um, I was wondering if
I could borrow some ice.
My brother never
refills the trays.
Is this a bad time?
No.
Actually, can you
give me a hand?
You made this?
From scratch?
Been making things from
scratch since I was Josh's age.
Stop moving, please.
Sorry.
Well, you're very good
at your job.
I had no idea.
Well...
You're such
a very busy person.
Got plenty of time now,
that's for sure.
It's become very apparent
over the last few weeks
that I am 'not what
they're looking for.'
- Stop moving, please.
- Sorry.
My brother left again, you know.
I know.
It was just a matter
of time, really.
Josh and Mom always
have hopes that he'll stay.
And you?
At this point I just sort
of expect him to take off.
Ow!
Quit moving.
Sorry.
Maybe that needs to stop.
What?
Your expectations.
Yeah...maybe it does.
I, uh...
I was not
very nice the other day,
at Josh's party.
I was not very nice to you.
No. You were not.
I'm sorry.
There seems to be--
Apparently there's been some
talk between some people
and the clergy that Josh...
I mean, I guess
I understand, you know.
When you take into consideration
the dress wearing,
playing with dolls,
occasionally,
the cheering, constantly.
There seems to be an issue
with Josh being, um--
Well, I mean,
maybe being, um...
Artistic.
Artistic.
OK.
Stop moving, please.
Sorry.
He doesn't want
to wrestle, Charlie.
I just-- I don't want to
admit defeat, you know?
I don't want to admit that
I have no idea what I'm doing.
I don't know what to do.
What am I gonna do?
Ow! Are you doing that
on purpose?
This is not about you, Andrea.
This is about Joshua, who -
my personal two cents worth -
who is probably not going
to have a very easy go of it
in years to come.
You want to talk about not being
what they're looking for?
Sure, let's have
that discussion.
You have one of the smartest,
funniest, most sensitive
little boys I've ever had
the pleasure of knowing.
You're missing an
amazing opportunity, Andrea.
You can be there for him.
You could help him.
But let him figure it out.
Charlie, I--
This is what he wants, Andrea.
This is all he needs.
You're enough.
Let him off the hook.
Let yourself off the hook.
I'm sorry.
OK.
OK.
I have a terrible
habit of crunching on ice,
so I avoid keeping
any in the freezer.
But I can offer you the frozen
peas and carrot combo
or the chopped spinach.
Your choice.
Um...
For his eye.
Well, it's perfect.
♪
Can I help you?
I'm waiting on the mail.
Can you wait over there?
Can you just hand it to me?
I can't.
Why not?
It's not allowed.
- What are you doing?
- Sorting.
Why didn't you
do that earlier?
They did.
At the post office.
So why are you--
I'm double checking.
Is there anything for me?
Who are you?
Joshua Alexander Dowd.
I can't tell you.
Why not?
I don't look at the names.
I just deliver it.
I'm looking
to make a change.
In a few areas, actually,
but this needs
to be the first.
Don't get me wrong.
St. Mary's is a fine school.
Fine school.
But I know he hears things.
I mean, he's not
a stupid little kid.
I know he picks up on
what they're saying.
You have regular classes
here as well, right?
I mean it's not just
all tumbling and dance?
It's not just all
tumbling and dance.
And we're connected
with one of the top
science magnet schools
in the state.
The kids all get regular
classes up until lunch.
Then they have their
choice of art electives,
be it tumbling and dance,
or singing, painting, writing.
I'm pretty sure it'll
be tumbling and dance.
♪
Hello.
Hey.
Um, I seem to have taken
a wrong turn somewhere
on my way back
from the bathroom.
Which way to the offices?
Back downstairs.
You in trouble?
What?
No. Are you?
No.
You must be science.
I haven't seen you before.
Is this your first day?
Oh, I don't go here.
My Mom's having an
interview or something.
Where do you go?
St. Mary's.
Over in Normal Heights.
Oh, sorry.
Me too.
Thanks.
My name's Joshua.
Anthony.
Like the Patron
Saint of lost things.
What happened to your eye?
Wrestling practice.
You wrestle?
Yep.
Well, I did.
I wasn't very good.
What about you?
What?
Wrestle.
Me?
I'm a choreographer.
♪
[dog growling]
Shhh!
Shut up, shut up.
Shh!
[dog growling]
Shh!
Hey, Uncle Alex.
Hey.
Shhh.
What are you doing here?
Didn't know where else to go.
You gonna want
your bunk back?
Maybe later, buddy.
You stay there tonight.
Are you moving back in?
Don't know yet.
Will you still be here
tomorrow night at 7?
Probably.
OK.
Good night.
Night, Josh.
It was like this
gigantic pyramid
with like 100 cheerleaders.
And guess what?
I was on the top
of the pyramid.
Usually I'm a base,
'cause I'm a boy.
Boys are always
forced to base.
But this time
I got to be the top.
Good morning, Uncle Alex.
Alex.
How'd you sleep?
Ah, you know.
'Cause you snored all night.
Sorry.
Josh was just telling us about
this dream he had last night.
Yeah.
I was a cheerleader,
Uncle Alex.
Not the mascot even,
but an official
member of the team.
And not only that -
I was assistant captain.
- You were?
- Yeah.
And we were cheering
at the county
parochial wrestling tournament.
The Saints were about
to win the championship.
Mike was doing real good.
- That's exciting.
- You bet.
And you were there.
And you were there.
And you were there,
too, Uncle Alex.
You were there too!
Honey, time check.
Oh. Gotta go.
I think you
should stay a while.
Yeah, buddy.
Maybe I will.
OK.
Let me give you a hand
with that, Monkey.
Here we go.
OK.
Coffee?
Yeah. Thanks.
You can't keep doing
this to him, Alex.
He gets his...
Hopes up. I know.
Every time you come back.
You can't keep
doing this to us.
Where's all Dad's...
Stuff?
Sold it.
Most of it.
This is, uh...
This is for Josh.
That's the $48 I owe him.
And I figure, you know,
with some extra for interest,
maybe $110 sounds fair.
Sounds fair.
Thinking about cleaning out
the garage, and...
Fixing it up.
Yeah.
And making it, you know...
Livable.
Sure.
I found some new good
stuff out on the road.
Thought about maybe
sticking around
and setting up a little...
Shop around the corner.
Yeah.
Just like Dad...
Always wanted to.
Yeah.
I'm doing the best
I know how, Andy.
I know.
Saved this for Charlie.
Completes his set.
Also...
wanted to hold on to this.
Where'd you get that?
In his stuff.
He saved it?
Always tried to
get me to play.
Talked about how
he always let you win -
until you got too good.
Then he couldn't figure out
how to get you to lose.
Figured you could teach Josh
and the two of you could play.
Or I could teach Josh,
after you teach me.
Maybe you and I could play.
Whatever.
And Josh can cheer.
Or he and I could
play and you could -
I don't know -
tell us what to do.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
You'd better be.
Just because you're bigger
doesn't mean I can't...
Kick my ass?
That's right.
I am older.
By six and a half minutes.
That's right.
I don't know
where this goes.
I don't know where
this goes either.
It goes here.
English book.
And tonight, at 7:00 my Mom,
Grandma, Uncle Alex and I
are all going to see
"Plymouth Rock Live."
The class that I'll be in,
starting on Monday,
are going to be the vegetables
in the Cornucopia Chorus.
Mathematics.
I could've been a carrot.
Or some broccoli, if I
was in the class right now.
My new friend, Anthony,
he helped choreograph
the 2nd graders
Turkey Feather Ballet.
He's gonna be a plum,
even though that's
officially a fruit.
I've never understood
why St. Mary's
doesn't have holiday pageants.
You'd think you'd at least
have a stations of the cross,
or a living nativity scene.
You probably could have even
gotten a real baby for Jesus.
Science.
My new school has
a science lab.
Can you believe that?
I don't know that I'll really
get to use it since
my major is
gonna be the arts.
St. Mary's has a science lab.
Oh, it's really more
of a kitchen, I think.
Religious history.
And the best part of all...
Do you want to guess?
Not really.
That's all right.
I get to try out for
the cheerleading team.
Actually, not until the new year
since the squad already
has their routines worked out
for the Christmas pep rally.
And you have two
library books out.
Yes.
Here they are...
"Fund-raising for Kids" and
"Are you there, God?
It's Me, Margaret."
And your desk and your
cubby are all cleaned out?
Cleared out and cleaned up.
Then it looks like that's it.
We're done.
Really?
I think so.
OK.
All right.
Well...
You're a very spirited
young man, Mr. Dowd.
There is no
question about that.
I think you'll make
a very good cheerleader
at your new school.
Really?
I think so, Joshua.
Yes.
That's the first time
you've ever told me yes.
Happy Thanksgiving,
Sister Vivian.
I've enjoyed being a Saint.
I think I'd want
to be a plum, too.
♪