Read It and Weep (2006) - full transcript

SOME PEOPLE THINK
THAT HIGH SCHOOL

IS THE WORST TIME
IN A PERSON'S LIFE.

WHAT WITH THE POPULARS,
THE PEER PRESSURE,

AND THE PIMPLES,

IT'S JUST TOO MUCH
FOR SOME KIDS TO HANDLE

ON A $10 A WEEK ALLOWANCE.

BUT THIS ISN'T
ONE OF THOSE STORIES.

MEET ISABELLA.

BUT YOU CAN CALL HER, IS.

HIGH SCHOOL.

A FANTASTICAL KINGDOM
OF PROMISE AND PERIL.



WITH WARRIORS.

WIZARDS.

AND WITCHES.

SHH.

A BIZARRE WORLD
WHERE THE RULES OF SOCIETY

NO LONGER APPLY.

IT IS HERE WHERE DESTINY FINDS

THE INCOMPARABLE, IS.

AND HER NEVER-ENDING
BATTLE FOR TRUTH

JUSTICE, AND GYM CLASS.

THE ROPE.

THE SCOURGE OF EVERY
HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT

SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME.

BUT IT ISN'T THE LENGTH
OF THE ROPE.



IT'S THE STRENGTH
OF THE GIRL CLIMBING IT.

AND LUCKILY, IN THIS CASE,

THAT GIRL IS, IS.

MARCO.

VINCENT. WAS IT THE SMILE,

THE DIMPLES, THE BICEPS,

THAT MADE HIM THE CUTEST
BOY IN THE KINGDOM?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

JAMIE, YOU'RE NEXT.

OK. SO THIS ISN'T THAT STORY.

AND IS IS JUST
A CHARACTER IN MY JOURNAL.

IMPRESSIVE TIME, MR. VEGA.

NEW STOPWATCH, MR. HEARN?

VERY NICE.

HI. I DON'T FEEL VERY WELL.

UNFORTUNATELY, AS HARD AS I TRY,

I'M NO IS.

I CAN'T DO IT.

I REALLY CAN'T. I'M SORRY.

WATCH IT.

THIS IS THE STORY

OF HOW MY PRIVATE,
PERSONAL JOURNAL

BECAME A BEST SELLER.

HEY, J. HOW WAS GYM?

I GOT STUCK ON THE ROPE AGAIN.

OUCH.

MY WORDS EXACTLY.

OH, LET'S BOUNCE.
WE CAN'T BE LATE
FOR ENGLISH.

BUT WE HAVE TO
SAVE THE PLANET FIRST.

ISN'T THAT A LITTLE
AMBITIOUS BEFORE LUNCH?

"THE PLANET"
IS A THEATER DOWNTOWN,

AND THEY'RE GOING
TO TEAR IT DOWN

UNLESS WE DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

I ALREADY DID.

I DESIGNED AND PAINTED
THE POSTERS.

YEAH. BUT NO ONE CAN READ THEM.

I WAS EXPERIMENTING WITH CUBISM.

WELL, WE'RE GOING TO BE
EXPERIMENTING WITH DETENTION

IF WE DON'T GET A MOVE ON.

BUT WHAT ABOUT MY PROTEST?

MAYBE WE CAN SAVE
THE PLANET ALONG THE WAY.

SAVE THE PLANET? SAVE... NO?

SAVE THE PLANET.

HELP SAVE THE PLANET.

SAVE THE PLANET.

SAVE...

UH-OH.

THE POPULARS.

THERE SHE WAS.

THE EVIL AND FEARED SAWYER.

UH, I MEAN, MYRNA.

A CHEERLEADER SO VILE,

EVEN MILK CURDLED
AT THE SOUND OF HER NAME.

SHE ENTERED THE HALLWAY

WITH HER CLONE HORRIFIC COHORTS.

UH... JAMIE.

OH, I WAS GONNA SAY GEEK.

MYRNA WAS ROTTEN TO THE CORE.

I'M SORRY.
DID YOU WANT SOMETHING?

YES, I WANTED YOU TO MOVE.
YOU'RE BLOCKING MY LOCKER.

RIGHT. SORRY.

I HEARD THE TRYOUTS

ARE GONNA BE REALLY
INTENSE THIS YEAR.

OH, ARE YOU GUYS
TRYING OUT FOR CHEERLEADING?

DUH. ARE YOU?

YOU AREN'T.

NO.

NO. I DIDN'T THINK SO.

THAT'S A VERY GOOD CALL
ON YOUR PART.

RISKING LIFE AND LIMB,

IS NEW SHE HAD TO DESTROY MYRNA

AND HER VICIOUS CLIQUE.

BEFORE THEY CRUSHED
EVERY GIRL'S SPIRIT.

WELL, IF YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO BE NICE,

THEN BE GONE.

IS! IS! IS! IS!

AND WITH MYRNA GONE,
EVERYONE CHEERED.

JAMIE.

IS THERE SOMETHING
YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE
WITH THE CLASS?

NO, MISS GALLAGHER.

THEN PAY ATTENTION.

MARCO.

YOU'RE NEXT.

IT'S NOT VERY GOOD.

"I HAVE A SECRET.

"DOES SHE, TOO?

"THE QUIET GIRL
I THOUGHT I KNEW WHO...

"CONTINUALLY MAKES ME SMILE.

"I HAVE TO WONDER,
DOES SHE SEE ME

"OR JUST MY MASK?

INVISIBILITY."

OH...

ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND.

AND DON'T FORGET,
YOUR ESSAYS
FOR THE WRITING COMPETITION

ARE DUE ON MONDAY.

AND HE WRITES POETRY.

IS THERE ANYTHING
MARCO CAN'T DO?

YEAH. WRITE POETRY.

YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS.

TRUST ME, JAMIE,

IF I WANTED TO WRITE
A POEM LIKE THAT,
I COULD'VE.

HEY, THERE'S YOUR BROTHER.

HEY, LENNY. WHAT'S UP?

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU
NEVER TO TALK TO ME.

ESPECIALLY IN SCHOOL.

WHAT'S WITH HIM?

I WOULDN'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN.

OH.

SO, WANT TO HIT
THE COMIC BOOK STORE
AFTER SCHOOL TODAY?

I CAN'T. I HAVE TO WORK.

WE'RE SERVING PIZZA UNTIL 5:00

IF ANYBODY WANTS A SLICE.

OH, WHAT'S TODAY'S SPECIAL?

DON'T ASK.

IT WAS DISGUSTING.

THE OTHER DAY,
HE PUT RAW FISH ON IT.

LET'S GO, JAMIE.

THIS PIZZA'S NOT GOING
TO DELIVER ITSELF.

WHAT IS THAT STENCH?

THAT IS THE SMELL OF THE FUTURE.

THE SMELL OF YOUR FUTURE.

LIVER AND ONION PIZZA.

EW.

YOU'RE NOT MAKING THAT

FOR THE SLUMBER PARTY, ARE YOU?

MAYBE HALF?

OH, MR. BARTLETT, PLEASE.

DADDY, DON'T.

BUT GIRLS, IF I DON'T
GET SOME TESTERS
FOR MY NEW CREATIONS,

HOW AM I GONNA KNOW
IF THEY'RE ANY GOOD?

TRUST US. TRUST US.

WHAT IS THAT SMELL?

IT'S OUR FUTURE,
AND APPARENTLY, IT STINKS.

EW, RALPH.

IT'S LIVER AND ONION.

YOU PUT LIVER AND ONIONS
ON A PIZZA?

I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST
STAY OLD SCHOOL, MR. B.

YOUR PLAIN CHEESE IS STILL
THE BEST AROUND.

BUT, I'M TRYING TO APPEAL
TO A WIDER AUDIENCE.

A MORE DISCERNING PALATE.

EW! EW!

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

I WANT TO BE SUPPORTIVE, HONEY,

BUT YOU MIGHT BE DISCERNING US

RIGHT OUT OF BUSINESS.

UH, EXCUSE ME. UH...

JAMIE.

I'M IN YOUR ENGLISH CLASS.

AND LUNCH, AND HISTORY.

AND MATH.

YOU ARE?

I SAID, NO ICE.

OH, MY BAD.

LET ME GET YOU ANOTHER.

AAH!

OH, MY BAD.

LET ME GET YOU ANOTHER ONE.

THANKS.

SMILE. ONLY 2 HOURS
UNTIL CLOSING.

YES. BUT 3 1/2
MORE YEARS
OF HIGH SCHOOL.

WHAT DID YOU GUYS
DO YOUR ESSAYS ON?

HOW TERM PAPERS ARE A WASTE

OF OUR DWINDLING,
NATURAL RESOURCES.

OH, SWEET.

I CRANKED OUT A COUPLE OF PAGES

ON HOW I WOULD CHANGE
THE BREAK TIMES

BETWEEN CLASSES
TO MAKE OUR LIVES,

OH, SO MORE EFFICIENT.

THAT'S IT?

YES. IT'S A VERY
CONVINCING PAPER.

WHY?

BECAUSE THE WINNING ESSAY

WILL BE PUBLISHED
IN THE EDUCATION TIMES.

WELL, IT WON'T BE MINE.

I JUST THOUGHT
YOU WOULD'VE COME UP

WITH SOMETHING BETTER THAN THAT.

YOU ARE THE BEST
WRITER IN THE CLASS.

HARDLY. ARE, TOO.

AM NOT.

IF YOU'RE NOT A WRITER,
THEN WHY ARE YOU
WRITING ALL THE TIME?

BECAUSE IF I DIDN'T
I'D HAVE A NUTTY.

OH, NO. MY PRINTER DIED.

OH, NOW THE WORLD
WILL NEVER KNOW

HOW MUCH EASIER
OUR LIVES WOULD BE
BETWEEN CLASSES.

DOESN'T LENNY HAVE A PRINTER?

OH, YEAH. GOOD IDEA.

HEY, LENNY?

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU
TO NEVER COME IN MY ROOM.

YEAH. BUT I WAS WONDERING
IF I COULD BORROW YOUR...

HEY, YOU WROTE A SONG.

BUT...

I SAID, OUT.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU
EMAIL IT TO ME,

AND I'LL PRINT IT OUT
AT MY HOUSE.

EXCELLENT IDEA.

I JUST WISH I COULD
FIND SOMEBODY WHO...

OH...

UNDERSTANDS ME.

EVERY...

LINDSAY UNDERSTANDS YOU, RYDER.

SHUT UP. THAT'S SUCH A LIE.

COME ON, HARMONY.

WHO DOESN'T LOVE RYDER DONOVAN?

NO. NO. NO.

OH, SHE IS A WITCH.

DID YOU SEE WHO
SHE KILLED LAST WEEK?

IF SHE KEEPS THIS UP,

THEY'LL HAVE TO RECAST
THE ENTIRE SHOW.

CHANGE THE CHANNEL.

SHE MAKES MY SKIN CRAWL.

THIS ONE ACCIDENTAL
CLICK OF THE STYLUS...

THAT ROCKETED MY PERSONAL,
PRIVATE JOURNAL
INTO CYBERSPACE

WOULD SEND A SHOCKWAVE
ROARING THROUGH
THE KINGDOM.

ALTERING IT FOREVER.

THINK OF YOUR FACE
AS A BLANK CANVAS.

IT'S ALL ABOUT
THE SHADING
AND COMPOSITION.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?

SHADING OUR CANVASSES.

WHEN DID YOU START
SELLING THIS MAKE-UP?

JUST LAST WEEK. IT'S NEW.

IT'S CRUEL.

THEY TEST ON ANIMALS.
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.

YOU SHOULD BE
ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.

LOOK, KID, I JUST WORK HERE.

IF YOU'D LIKE
TO TAKE IT UP
WITH THE COMPANY,

BE MY GUEST.

DON'T THINK I WON'T.
LET'S GO, YOU GUYS.

OH, WOW.

DO YOUR MAKE-UP
IN THE DARK
THIS MORNING, GIRLS?

YOU COULD'VE AT LEAST
LET US FINISH.

IT'S BEEN A MONTH.

LET THE SHOCKWAVE BEGIN.

I JUST DON'T BELIEVE...

THEY ANNOUNCED THE WINNERS
OF THE ESSAY COMPETITION.

YAWN.

OH, COME ON,
YOU MUST BE EXCITED.

YOU PRACTICALLY WROTE A NOVEL.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

IT WAS 5 PAGES.

WITH FOOTNOTES.

UH-OH.

SERIOUSLY.

MISS GALLAGHER SAID IT WAS
THE MOST PROVOCATIVE PAPER

SHE'S SEEN IN 15 YEARS.

PUH-LEASE. LIKE JAMIE BARTLETT'S

EVER SAID ANYTHING PROVOCATIVE.

HONESTLY.

JAMIE WHO?

THEY CAN'T BE TALKING
ABOUT ME, I MEAN...

BREAK TIMES
AREN'T PROVOCATIVE,
ARE THEY?

BREAK TIME?

OH, NO. I DON'T THINK
THAT WAS THE FILE
YOU SENT ME.

A STENCH WORSE THAN
LIVER AND ONION PIZZA

FELL UPON THE HALLS.

HEY! GUESS WHO WON THE CONTEST?

GUESS WHO WON THE CONTEST?

NO!!!

"MYRNA AND HER EVIL CLIQUE

"OF GOSSIPERS, INSULTERS,
AND BACKSTABBERS

"WERE NO MATCH FOR ISABELLA.

"WITH A FLICK OF HER FINGER,

"SHE WOULD ZAP THEM INTO
PERPETUAL DETENTION.

CHAPTER THREE. MARCO VINCENT."

UH, EXCUSE ME, MISS GALLAGHER.

BUT I DON'T THINK
ISABELLA'S A VERY
REALISTIC CHARACTER.

I THINK SHE'S GREAT.
KEEP READING.

UH, NO, HARMONY,

LET'S LISTEN TO SAWYER FOR ONCE.

AHEM.

WHERE WAS I?

OH, YES. MARCO VINCENT.

"WAS IT THAT SMILE,
THE DIMPLES, THE BICEPS

"THAT MADE HIM THE CUTEST BOY

"IN THE KINGDOM?

"WHAT DO YOU THINK?

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS WON?

IT'S TOTALLY WEAK SAUCE.

I DON'T KNOW.
MARCO'S PRETTY COOL.

..."NO MATCH FOR ISABELLA.

"WITH A FLICK OF HER FINGER,
SHE WOULD ZAP THEM INTO...

CONGRATULATIONS, JAMIE.

WAY TO GO, BARTLETT.

GREAT STORY, JAMIE.

WOW. SO INSPIRING.

I KNOW. NEXT TIME
RACHEL CALLS ME A COW,

I'M GONNA ZAP HER.

JAMIE, WAIT UP.

WHERE YOU GOING?

TO CRAWL UNDER A ROCK.

WHY?

I MEAN, YOU JUST WON
A THOUSAND DOLLAR
SAVINGS BOND.

NO, I WAS JUST
PUBLICLY HUMILIATED

WHEN MY JOURNAL WAS READ

IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CLASS.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

EVERYONE LOVED IT.

WHOA. THAT WAS YOUR JOURNAL?

YES. AND IT WAS A MISTAKE.

AND NOW IT'S PUBLISHED.

CHILL OUT.

THIS WHOLE THING'S
GONNA BLOW OVER

BEFORE YOU KNOW IT.

YOU THINK SO?

I KNOW SO.

ALL RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

A BOOK?

YES. THEY READ YOUR ESSAY
IN THE EDUCATION TIMES,

AND THEY THINK THAT YOU
ARE A GREAT WRITER.

LOOK, MOM, I... I JUST DON'T KNOW.

I MEAN, THE HUMILIATION
HAS JUST DIED DOWN.

AND I CAN'T SURVIVE
ANOTHER LUNCH
OF ZAPPING.

JAMIE...

THIS IS AN INCREDIBLE
OPPORTUNITY.

I'D HATE TO SEE YOU PASS IT UP.

WELL...

I DON'T HAVE ANYMORE PAGES.

NO MORE PAGES?

WHAT DO YOU CALL THOSE?

PERSONAL PROPERTY.

I CAN'T DO IT. NO WAY.

JAMIE, YOU CAN'T
WALK AWAY FROM THIS

JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE SCARED.

I'M NOT SCARED.

I'M NOT SCARED.

THEN PROVE IT.

OH, HONEY. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.

TRUST ME. YOU WON'T REGRET IT.

CAN I GET THAT IN WRITING?

MOVE IT, WORM.

ZAP, ZAP.

HEY, MOM. I CHANGED MY MIND.

IF I WRITE A BOOK,

THIS ZAPPING IS ONLY
GOING TO GET WORSE.

YOU'RE WRITING A BOOK?

SOUNDS LIKE A PIPE DREAM TO ME.

AH!

IN TWO SHORT MONTHS,

THE PIPE DREAM
HAD BECOME A NIGHTMARE.

AND MY PERSONAL, PRIVATE JOURNAL

WAS ON ITS WAY
TO BECOMING
A NATIONAL BEST SELLER.

HERE YOU GO, MISS GALLAGHER.

THIS IS SO COOL.

YOU'RE GONNA BECOME A CELEBRITY.

I'LL HAVE TO DO YOUR PORTRAIT.

JAMIE.

WOULD YOU SIGN MY COPY?

UH... NO.

SHE'S SIGNING BOOKS!

"THE BIGGEST CRUSH
ON THE MOST POPULAR GUY...

"I FELL IN LOVE WHEN ONE DAY

"HE WAS SITTING
RIGHT NEXT TO ME.

"WHERE DESTINY FINDS
THE INCOMPARABLE IS.

WHAT HAVE I DONE?

STARTED A REVOLUTION.

ZAP, ZAP, ZAP, ZAP.

UH, EXCUSE ME.

HERE YOU GO.

THANK YOU. HAVE A NICE DAY.

WOW. DO YOU BELIEVE THIS CROWD?

BUSINESS HAS NOT BEEN THIS GOOD

SINCE WE
STOPPED SERVING
WHEATGRASS PIZZA.

YOU DON'T THINK THE SIGN

HAS ANYTHING TO DO
WITH IT, DO YOU?

WOW.

THIS IS AMAZING.

EVEN CHICKEN FEET
CAN'T KEEP THEM AWAY.

LOOK, CAN WE TALK ABOUT ANYTHING

BESIDES THAT STUPID BOOK?

HEY, NOW.

THE BOOK WAS INCREDIBLE.

EMPOWERING. I FELT
LIKE I COULD
ZAP MYSELF ANYWHERE.

DO ANYTHING.

I WISH I COULD ZAP MYSELF

OFF THE ENGLISH
REQUIREMENT READING LIST.

HEY, JAMIE.

I READ YOUR BOOK.

IT WAS... AWESOME.

MARCO?

WE'RE OVER HERE.

I BETTER GET BACK.

DO YOU BELIEVE
MARCO VEGA
READ YOUR BOOK?

ONLY CAUSE YOU NAMED
THE ROMANTIC IDIOT
AFTER HIM.

IT IS SHOCKING.

I MEAN, WHO KNEW HE COULD READ?

HEY, JAMESON.

SHE'D NEVER EVEN KNOWN MY NAME

IF IT WEREN'T ON THE COVER.

WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN
WHEN THEY REALIZE

THAT THE EVIL MYRNA
AND THE CLONES
ARE REALLY THEM?

GET OUT.

YOU'RE KIDDING.

NO. HOW ELSE WAS I

SUPPOSED TO COME UP
WITH A CHEERLEADER

WHO WAS SO VILE
THAT MILK CURDLED

AT THE SOUND OF HER NAME?

DON'T WORRY, JAMIE.

AS SELF CENTERED AS THEY ARE,

THEY WILL NEVER REALIZE

THE CHARACTERS
ARE BASED ON THEM.

ARE WE IN THE BOOK?

YES. YOU ARE LAURA
THE INVINCIBLE,

AND YOU ARE
THE MAGNIFICENT MELODY.

BUT THEY'RE ONLY
THE COOLEST KIDS
IN THE KINGDOM.

YEAH. IT'S MOSTLY FICTION.

HEY, HOW ABOUT YOU PUT
THAT BOOK DOWN

AND GIVE ME A HAND.

PUT IT DOWN?

I'D LIKE TO THROW IT AT HER.

COME ON, LENNY.

CAN'T YOU BE HAPPY
FOR YOUR SISTER?

HAVE YOU READ THIS,

FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD, BOOK?

YEAH. IT'S PRETTY TERRIFIC.

NOT IF YOU'RE KENNY
THE STINKY TROLL.

COME ON, LENNY.

THAT'S JUST A CHARACTER
IN A BOOK.

HAS NO RESEMBLANCE
TO YOU WHATSOEVER.

MAYBE A LITTLE BIT
AROUND THE EARS.

FANCY, CARTER, DO I PAY YOU TWO

JUST TO SIT AROUND
AND EAT PIZZA ALL DAY?

BUT YOU DON'T PAY US,
MRS. BARTLETT.

I DO NOW.
PUT ON THOSE APRONS
AND GRAB A PIE.

HERE YOU GO.

I'VE NEVER SEEN
SO MANY PIZZAS
IN MY LIFE.

AND I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MANY

HALF EATEN PIZZAS IN MY LIFE.

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED

THAT MOST OF THE CUSTOMERS
PICKED OFF THEIR TOPPINGS?

THAT'S BECAUSE
THEY'RE HERE TO SEE JAMIE,

NOT EAT PIZZA.

AND WILL YOU PLEASE
NOT LET MY FATHER
KNOW ABOUT THAT.

HE'S SO EXCITED
ABOUT THE NEW BUSINESS

THAT I WOULD HATE
FOR HIM TO THINK

THAT IT'S ALL ABOUT ME.

YOU MEAN US.

I MEAN, HER.

LET'S JUST CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

DID YOU HEAR THAT THE TICKETS

GO ON SALE FOR THE DANCE FRIDAY?

YOU GUYS GOING?

I'M NOT.

WHY NOT? YOU HAVE TO.

IT'S THE DEEP BLUE SEA DANCE.

BUT I DON'T HAVE A DATE.

OR A SNORKEL.

WELL, NONE OF US DO.

I HAVE A SNORKEL.

WELL, SINCE NONE OF US
HAVE DATES,

WHY DON'T WE GO AS A GROUP?

THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

I GUESS IT COULD BE FUN.

AND I CAN GET MY BROTHER
TO DRIVE US IN HIS TRUCK.

YEAH. THAT WOULD BE
SO MUCH COOLER

THAN PULLING UP
IN MY DAD'S PIZZA TRUCK.

THEN IT'S A DATE.

VOLUNTEERS NEEDED
FOR THIS YEAR'S
DANCE COMMITTEE.

OH, HEY, JAMIE, WHAT ABOUT YOU?

YOU GUYS,

WE SHOULD DO IT.

GOOD IDEA.

IF YOU'RE GONNA BE
ONE OF THE POPULARS,

YOU MIGHT AS WELL ACT LIKE IT.

WE HAVE TO.

HARMONY, YOU ARE SUCH
A GREAT ARTIST.

AND LINDSAY, NOBODY CAN
ORGANIZE THE TROOPS

LIKE YOU CAN.

YOU GUYS, WE COULD REALLY ROCK

THE DECORATING COMMITTEE APART.

I DON'T KNOW,
I WAS GONNA
MOBILIZE A PROTEST

AGAINST
THE MAKE-UP COMPANY
AT THE MALL.

WELL, WE CAN DO BOTH.

AND IT SOUNDS LIKE
A BIG WASTE OF TIME.

WHATEVER, VAN GOGH.

IT'LL BE LOTS OF FUN, I PROMISE.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

RALPH, THIS IS DIANA.

HELLO. HI.

I'M YOUR DAUGHTER'S HANDLER.

WHAT DOES JAMIE NEED
A HANDLER FOR?

GOOD QUESTION, DAD.

JUST TO HELP HER
OVER THE ROUGH SPOTS.

ALL RIGHT, HAIR, UP.

THE PINKS, BRIGHTER.
LOSE THE SNEAKERS.

THIS ISN'T
A BASKETBALL GAME
WE'RE GOING TO.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
ABOUT THOSE CHEEKS?

OW!

PERFECT.

UM, IS ALL THIS
REALLY NECESSARY?

NO, HE DIDN'T.

UH, WHAT MY HUSBAND
IS TRYING TO SAY

IS THAT IT SEEMS LIKE
A LOT OF EFFORT,

AND PINCHING,
JUST FOR AN INTERVIEW.

NOT JUST AN INTERVIEW.

IT'S MAURA LIVE.

MRS. BARTLETT,
MAY I CALL YOU PEGGY?

SURE.

PEGGY, SCHILLING PRESS
HAS SPENT A LOT OF MONEY

TO GET YOUR DAUGHTER'S BOOK
ON THE TOP 10 LIST.

WE THINK YOU CAN PUT UP
WITH A LITTLE DISCOMFORT.

HMM? RIGHT, JAMESON?

IT'S JAMIE.

LOVELY CHILD.

I AM NOT DRIVING YOU
TO THE DANCE.

STOP BEGGING.

PLEASE.

LOOK, WHY CAN'T DAD TAKE YOU?

BECAUSE HE'S NOT COOL.

THAT'S A GOOD POINT.

BUT NO.

IF YOU WON'T
DO IT FOR ME,
DO IT FOR JAMIE.

YOU'RE TAKING JAMIE BARTLETT
TO THE DANCE?

WAY TO GO, SQUIRT.

WELL, IT'S KIND OF
A GROUP THING.

IT'S A START.

SO YOU'LL DO IT?

NO.

PLEASE. I'LL DO
ANYTHING YOU WANT.

I'LL WASH YOUR CAR.

DO YOUR LAUNDRY.
CLEAN YOUR ROOM.

AND THE IGUANA TANKS?

AND? I WAS JUST TALKING
ABOUT ONE CHORE.

WELL, YOU KNOW, I GUESS

YOU DON'T NEED A RIDE
THAT BADLY, SO...

OK, DEAL. SWEET.

THANKS.

I'M GONNA GO.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
SO MUCH FUN, JAMIE.

YEAH. BUT IT WOULD BE MORE FUN

IF THE TWO OF YOU
WERE COMING ALONG.

WE WISH.

SOMEHOW I THINK ALL
THE PARTIES AND CAVIAR

WILL MAKE UP FOR IT.

YOU'RE RIGHT, IT'LL BE ROUGH,

BUT LET'S FACE IT,
SOMEONE HAS TO DO IT.

LENNY SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD.

HE'S AWESOME.

YEAH. TOO BAD HE WON'T
PLAY ANYWHERE ELSE

BESIDES HIS BEDROOM.

HE'S SUCH A DORK

WHEN IT COMES TO HIS MUSIC.

HE SHOULD PLAY AT THE DANCE.

HE SHOULD ALSO WASH HIS HANDS

MORE OFTEN THAN HE DOES
BUT I DON'T THINK

WE'RE GONNA GET HIM
TO DO IT EITHER.

COME ON.

COME ON, PEOPLE.
WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY.

WE HAVE A SCHEDULE TO KEEP.

WELL, YOU HEARD HER.
WE SHOULD BE GOING.

BYE, DADDY.

BYE, JAMIE.

LENNY.

DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING
TO SAY TO YOUR SISTER?

JAMIE.

LENNY.

OK. THANKS FOR TRYING.

TEMPEST FUGET. TEMPEST FUGET.

BYE, DADDY.

BETTER GO.

BYE. BYE BYE.

CHOTSY ON THE WINDOW SEAT.

WHEN DID SHE GET SO BOSSY?

* OH, YEAH, ALL RIGHT

* PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER

* DANCE TO MEAN NO HANGING OUT *

* OH, YEAH OH, YEAH *

* ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT *

* MUSIC TAKES YOU HIGHER...*

WE HAVE A VERY EXCITING
SHOW THIS MORNING.

JAMIE BARTLETT
IS ON THE PROGRAM.

SHE'S WRITTEN THE BOOK,
"IS SAVES THE WORLD."

JAMIE, LET'S START
WITH IS, THE MAIN CHARACTER.

TELL ME ABOUT HER,
WHAT IS SHE LIKE?

UM, UH, UH, WELL...

UM...

AND...

YES, AND IS THE CHARACTER...

JAMIE BARTLETT WOWED
THE SELL-OUT CROWD TODAY

WITH EXCERPTS OF
HER BEST-SELLING BOOK,

"IS SAVES THE WORLD."

GOOD JOB.

* MUSIC TAKES YOU HIGHER

* NOTHING COULD BEGIN TOGETHER *

* SHE'S ON THE WAY BACK

* AND FINDING WHERE IT'S AT *

* LOVE IS A BEAUTIFUL THING *

* LIFE IS LIKE A VALENTINE

* AND EVERY DAY IN TIME

* IS GONNA ROLL AWAY

* SO TURN IT UP LOUDER

* GONNA SHOUT IT

* CAUSE THERE'S
A NEW DAY COMING *

* OHHHHH YEAH!

* OH, YEAH OH, YEAH *

* ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT *

* PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER

* DANCE DON'T GET NO BETTER *

* OH, YEAH OH, YEAH *

* ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT *

JOINING US NOW
ON BACKSTAGE TICKET

IS THE FANTASTIC AUTHOR
OF A BOOK

THAT IS SWEEPING THE NATION.

"IS SAVES THE WORLD."

HERE SHE IS, JAMESON BARTLETT.

HI, JAMIE. THANKS FOR COMING IN.

THANK YOU. IT'S NICE TO BE HERE.

HEY, THAT'S JAMIE!

THAT'S MY DAUGHTER ON TV!

WOW. THIS IS THE COOLEST
PARTY EVER.

OH, I'LL SAY.

IT'S JAMMING!

JAMMING?

OH, NO, MOM.

DON'T SAY THAT OUT LOUD AGAIN.

SOMEONE MIGHT HEAR YOU
AND THINK YOU'RE HERE
WITH ME.

YOUNG LADY.

WHAT? I'M SORRY.

BUT JAMMING?

DIDN'T YOUR GENERATION

AT LEAST SAY, GROOVY,
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

YEAH. SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

OK THEN, YOU, TOO.

I'VE GOT SOME BUSINESS
TO TAKE CARE OF

OVER BY THE SHRIMP PLATE.

SO YOU TWO HELP YOURSELVES
TO WHATEVER YOU WANT,

AND HAVE FUN.

THAT'S AN ORDER.

OH, HEY. YEAH.

IT'S AMBER TIFFANY.

DON'T YOU HAVE A PICTURE OF HER

HANGING ON YOUR BEDROOM WALL?

NO. THAT'S A PICTURE
OF RYDER DONOVAN.

AMBER'S JUST STANDING
NEXT TO HIM.

SHOULD WE GO SAY HI?

NO!

YOU CAN'T JUST GO UP
AND TALK TO HER.

SHE'S AMBER TIFFANY.

SHE'S ON TELEVISION.

YOU KNOW,
SOMETIMES I THINK
THAT YOU'RE FROM

AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT
PLANET, MOTHER.

JAMIE, THEY'RE JUST PEOPLE
JUST LIKE YOU AND ME.

OH, MY GOD!

IT'S GEORGE JACKSON.

I HAVE ALL OF HIS ALBUMS.

UH, YEAH, WHAT'S AN ALBUM?

SOMETHING WE LISTEN TO
ON THE PLANET I'M FROM.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU GO
TALK TO HIM.

HE'S JUST PEOPLE.

YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M GOING TO.

GEORGE. GEORGE JACKSON!

NO. MOTHER, I WAS JUST...

HI. I LOVE YOU.

I AM SO EXCITED.

KIDDING.

SO...

GO MINGLE.

THERE MUST BE SOMEONE HERE
YOU CAN TALK TO.

OHH... HI, THERE, LITTLE FELLA.

THAT'S NOT EXACTLY
WHAT I HAD IN MIND.

PUPPY!

OW! OW! OW!

MY HAIR. OH...

THIS COULD ONLY HAPPEN TO ME.

I'M REALLY SORRY.
I DON'T KNOW HOW
THIS COULD'VE...

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

FOLLOW ME TO THE GREEN ROOM

BEFORE I END UP ON
THE COVER OF STARLET.

OH...

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

I'M REALLY SORRY. OW!

OW, OW, OW, OW!

I'M REALLY SORRY.

I GOT IT.

FINALLY.

ARE YOU GONNA LET HER
TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT?

SAY SOMETHING.

HI. I'M JAMIE BARTLETT.

HI.

IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?

YOUR TIARA LOOKS REALLY NICE.

YEAH. IT SHOULD BE.
IT COST ENOUGH.

JAMESON BARTLETT?

YOU'RE JAMESON BARTLETT, RIGHT?

YEAH.

ZAP, ZAP. I LOVED YOUR BOOK.

LOVED IT.

YOU WROTE A BOOK?

OH, IT'S FANTASTIC.

I READ IT BETWEEN SCENES
LAST WEEK.

SO, HOW'S THE TOUR COMING?

I JUST SAW YOU ON MAURA LIVE.

AND THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU,

YOU WERE POISONING
STEFFIE CHANDLER'S
LEMONADE.

DON'T WORRY.
I ONLY PLAY EVIL ON TV.

CADYN, YOU'RE IN MY LIGHT.

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER MYRNA.

WILL THE HUMILIATION NEVER END?

I'M SORRY. WERE YOU
TALKING TO ME?

YOU'RE RYDER DONOVAN.

YOU'RE JAMESON BARTLETT.

CALL ME JAMIE.

OK, JAMIE. I'M A BIG FAN.

NO WAY!

A BIG FAN?

WE WANT TO HEAR EVERY DETAIL.

I NEED SOME HELP BACK HERE.

IT'S ON AGAIN.
WE'RE WATCHING IT RIGHT NOW.

GIRLS! IT'S JAMIE.

OH!

THERE'S NOT MUCH TO TELL.

THEN HIS HANDLER INTERRUPTED,

AND THEN MY HANDLER INTERRUPTED.

AND THEN THE HANDLERS
STARTED HARASSING US.

IT WASN'T PRETTY.

WELL, AT LEAST
HE KNOWS
YOU'RE ALIVE.

ANYONE ELSE?

AMBER TIFFANY WAS THERE.

GET OUT! GET OUT!

SO NOT IMPRESSIVE.

SO, WHAT'S HAPPENING
WITH THE DECORATING
COMMITTEE?

I FEEL REALLY BAD
THAT I'M NOT THERE
TO HELP OUT.

DON'T WORRY. THERE'LL BE
PLENTY TO DO
WHEN YOU GET BACK.

YOU HAVE TO SEE HARMONY'S WHALE.

IT'S AMAZING.

WELL, IT'S OK.

BUT YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GUESS

WHAT HAPPENED AT SCHOOL
ON FRIDAY.

WHAT? GUESS.

TELL ME!

SAWYER AND MARCO BROKE UP.

GET OUT!

THEY HAD A HUGE... DRAMATIC.

BREAK UP RIGHT AFTER LUNCH.

IT WAS INCREDIBLE.

SHE TOLD HIM THAT HE
DIDN'T TREAT HER...

THE WAY SHE SHOULD BE TREATED.

AND HE SAID SHE WAS
A SPOILED BRAT.

WHOA!

I KNOW, RIGHT?

WELL, SOMEONE WANTS
TO TALK TO YOU.

THANK YOU. HEY.

JAMIE, HONEY.

THERE ARE A FEW TALKING POINTS

THAT I WOULD LIKE TO COVER

BEFORE YOUR NEXT INTERVIEW, OK?

SORRY, GUYS. I HAVE TO GO.

THAT'S MY HANDLER.

BUT I'LL TALK
TO YOU GUYS LATER. BYE.

OH, NOT MORE LAUNDRY.

YOU STILL NEED A RIDE,
DON'T YOU?

PUT IT IN THE PILE.

GOOD JOB, SQUIRT.

AND I THOUGHT YOU WOULD'VE
QUIT WEEKS AGO.

NOT A CHANCE.

MUST REALLY LIKE HER.

LET'S GO, HONEY.

CHOP, CHOP.
YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE.

ALMOST DONE.

TURN OFF THE TABLET. NOW.

I DON'T GET IT.

FIRST YOU TELL ME TO WRITE,
THEN YOU SAY DON'T.

I'M GETTING MIXED SIGNALS
HERE, MOTHER.

NO. WHAT YOU'RE GETTING
IS FRESH.

GET IN THE CAR.

HONEY, COME ON LET'S GO.

SAW YOU ON TV.
YOU ROCKED, BARTLETT.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

HEY, CUTIE.

HI! HI!

HI!

HI, JAMIE!

HI, JAMIE.

HELLO.

HEY, JAMIE.

HEY.

SO, DID YOU REALLY
MEET AMBER TIFFANY?

YEAH. WE'RE KIND OF FRIENDS.

NO WAY.

WAY.

WOW. YOU'RE A SUPERSTAR NOW.

SO WE HAVE TO GET THE WORD OUT

THAT YOU'RE GONNA BE

AT OUR ANIMAL RIGHTS
RALLY NEXT THURSDAY.

YOU ARE COMING, RIGHT?

OF COURSE I'M COMING.

I WOULDN'T MISS IT
FOR ANYTHING IN THE WORLD.

I WOULD NEVER LET YOU GUYS DOWN.

OR THE BUGS.

COME ON.

WHOA. WHAT IS THAT SMELL?

OH, THE FRESH PINE SCENT?

THAT'S ME.

I HAD TO DETAIL MY BROTHER'S CAR

BEFORE SCHOOL THIS MORNING.

IT'S PART OF OUR DEAL.

SOUNDS LIKE
A LOT OF WORK
JUST FOR SOME WHEELS.

YEAH. BUT WORTH IT.

CONNOR, THAT IS SO NICE

THAT YOU'RE DOING THIS FOR...

DID YOU JUST SEE THAT?

YOU TWO TOTALLY HAD A MOMENT.

DID WE?

YEAH. WE DID.

HEY, JAMIE.

WE HAVE AN EXTRA SEAT.

JENNIFER TOO'S OUT SICK.

NO, THANKS.

OH, COME ON WE WANT TO HEAR

ALL ABOUT THE BACKSTAGE PARTY.

GO AHEAD. GIVE THEM A TREAT.

WE'VE ALREADY HEARD
ALL THE STORIES.

THAT DIDN'T TAKE MUCH PRODDING.

LET'S FACE IT, CONNOR.

WE HAVE TO SHARE OUR JAMIE

WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD NOW.

JUST AS LONG AS SHE CAN FILL UP

MY ANIMAL RIGHTS RALLY

LIKE SHE CAN FILL UP
A PIZZA PARLOR,

I THINK I CAN DEAL WITH IT.

AND THEN WHEN I STOOD UP,

MY HAIR WAS STUCK IN HER TIARA.

NO WAY!

WAY!

WHAT DID YOU DO?

WELL, WE DIDN'T WANT TO END UP

ON THE COVER
OF STARLE NOW, DID WE?

NO. SO WE SCURRIED OFF
TO THE GREEN ROOM

BEFORE ANYBODY COULD SEE US.

I MEAN, CAN YOU IMAGINE?

THAT IS FUNNY.

NOW THAT HE'S SINGLE,

YOU THINK MARCO WILL TAKE
JAMIE TO THE DANCE?

THEY COULDN'T.

WHY NOT? HE'S A FREE MAN NOW.

BECAUSE SHE SAID
SHE WAS GOING WITH US.

WE'RE GOING AS A GROUP.

I THINK THE RULE WAS

IF NO ONE
ASKED US FIRST
WE'D GO AS A GROUP.

WHAT? THAT WASN'T A RULE.

WHEN DID WE MAKE THAT RULE?

WHY? DO YOU KNOW ANYONE ELSE

WHO MIGHT WANT TO
TAKE HER TO THE DANCE?

NO.

SOUNDS LIKE YOU DO.

I DON'T. I JUST...

DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A RULE.

WHATEVER.

SO, HOW WAS LUNCH
WITH THE POPULARS?

WELL, IT WASN'T EXCRUCIATING.

IT SEEMED LIKE YOU
WERE HAVING FUN.

I WOULDN'T CALL IT FUN.

I MEAN, IT WAS OK.

NOT LIKE HANGING OUT
WITH YOU GUYS, THOUGH.

AND THE LONGER I SAT THERE,

THE MORE I COULD
FEEL MYSELF
LOSING IQ POINTS.

HEY, WHY DIDN'T CONNOR

WANT TO COME WITH US TODAY?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

HE'S BEEN ACTING
ALL BOY-LIKE LATELY.

WELL, WE'LL SEE YOU
AT THE PIZZA PARLOR.

OH, UH...

YOU WON'T SEE ME.

WE WON'T?

NO.

I QUIT.

DIDN'T WE COVER THIS?

I THOUGHT MY HANDLER
CALLED YOU GUYS.

YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS.

NO. I'M JOKING.

WELL, MAYBE IT'S THE TRUTH.

I THOUGHT I TOLD SOMEONE.

COME ON, YOU GUYS.

IT'S NOT LIKE I NEED
THE MONEY ANYMORE.

BYE BYE.

PRUNE PIZZA, PEG.

HONEY, NO.

TRY IT.

DON'T JUDGE IT SO HARSHLY.

NO.

YOU KNOW, I BET THE FIRST PERSON

TO TRY A PINEAPPLE PIZZA
WAS LAUGHED AT, TOO.

BESIDES, IT'S MORE
OF A BREAKFAST PIZZA.

YOU KNOW,
MY GOURMET PIES
ARE DOING SO WELL

I WAS THINKING WE SHOULD
OPEN FOR BREAKFAST.

OH, RALPH. DON'T DO THIS TO US.

THINGS ARE GOING GREAT.

IT'S THE POWER OF MY PIZZA.

MM-HMM.

RALPH'S PIZZA SHACK.

YES. THIS IS THE PLACE
RIGHT OUT OF
"IS SAVES THE WORLD."

BIRTHDAY RESERVATIONS.

FOR 12.

I HAVE IT. THANK YOU.

MAYBE IT'S NOT ONLY MY PIZZA.

MAYBE.

MAYBE.

HEY, LINDS. HOW WAS WORK?

EXHAUSTING.

WHO KNEW PIZZAS
COULD BE SO HEAVY?

YOU THINK YOU'RE TIRED?

YOU'D NEVER BELIEVE
ALL THE STUFF
I'VE GOT GOING ON.

IT'S CRAZY.

YEAH, WELL, I WAS CALLING TO SEE

IF YOU CAN HELP OUT ON SATURDAY.

WE HAVE TO FINISH
HARMONY'S WHALE BY NEXT WEEK.

WHY DO WE HAVE TO DO THAT?

HELLO. WE'RE ALL ON
THE DECORATING COMMITTEE
REMEMBER?

YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO GOT US INTO THIS.

RIGHT. UM... LOOK,
I'M SORRY, BUT I CAN'T.

DIANA'S COMING OVER
TO HELP ME
ANSWER FAN MAIL.

YOU HAVE FAN MAIL?

WELL... IT'S FOR IS,
BUT I HAVE TO
ANSWER IT.

OH.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA FORGET

ABOUT MY ANIMAL RIGHTS
RALLY, ARE YOU?

WE REALLY NEED YOUR HELP
TO GET THE WORD OUT.

WHAT? WHAT IS IT?

A DIRECT CONNECTION
TO HIGH SCHOOL ROYALTY.

UM, I HAVE TO TAKE THIS CALL,

BUT DON'T WORRY,
I'LL BE AT THAT RALLY.

CALL ME TOMORROW.

HELLO?

JAMIE. HEY, IT'S SAWYER.
WHAT'S HAPPENING?

OH... NOTHING.

HEY, LISTEN,
YOU WANT TO HIT
THE MALL ON SATURDAY?

SURE. I'D LOVE TO.

SWEET. CAN'T WAIT.

YES!

THANK YOU.

HEY.

MARCO.

IS JAMIE HERE?

ONLY IN SPIRIT.

WILL YOU TELL HER
THAT I'M LOOKING FOR HER.

NO.

EXCUSE ME?

I MEAN, SHE DOESN'T
WORK HERE ANYMORE.

YEAH, BUT YOU GUYS
ARE FRIENDS, RIGHT?

HEY, DO YOU KNOW

IF SHE'S GOING
TO THE DANCE
WITH ANYONE?

I DON'T KNOW.

BUT IF I SEE HER,
I'LL LET HER KNOW
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR HER.

THANKS.

NO PROBLEM.

WHO KNEW BEING AN AUTHOR
WOULD BE SUCH HARD WORK?

WELL, YOU BETTER
GET USED TO IT,
JAMIE.

IF YOUR NEXT BOOK
SELLS EVERYTHING
LIKE THIS ONE,

THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING.

HEY, WHO WANTS A BITE TO EAT?

ME. I'M STARVING.

ME THREE.
LET'S CHARGE IT
TO THE PUBLISHER.

YOU KNOW WHAT...

I'M NOT HUNGRY ANYMORE.

CAN WE KEEP WALKING?

HEY, CHECK IT OUT, BRO.

WAIT TILL JAMIE SEES THESE, HUH?

DOUBT IF SHE EVER WILL.

WHY? WHAT HAPPENED?

WELL, MARCO VEGA'S
GONNA ASK HER
TO THE DANCE.

GOING TO?

IT'S NOT OFFICIAL YET,
BUT ALL THE SIGNS
ARE THERE.

WELL, THEN, THERE'S STILL TIME.

YOU CAN STILL ASK HER.

BUT IT'S MARCO VEGA.

AND YOU'RE CONNOR KENNEDY.

LOOK, DON'T BE LIKE THAT,
LITTLE BRO.

YOU LIKE HER, DON'T YOU?

YEAH.

AND YOU DIDN'T WASH MY UNDERWEAR

FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH
JUST TO LET
SOME CHUMP JUMP IN

AND STEAL YOUR GIRL, DID YOU?

NO.

THAT'S RIGHT.

NOW LOOK, YOU'VE COME TOO FAR,

AND YOU'VE WORKED WAY TO HARD

JUST TO ROLL OVER.

YEAH, I HAVE.

NOW, I WANT YOU TO GO
AND FIND THIS GIRL,

AND I WANT YOU
TO ASK HER TO THE DANCE.

I'LL DO IT.

WHAT WITH SCHOOLWORK
AND ALL THAT...

HANG ON.

YEAH. IT'S SAWYER.
SORRY ABOUT THAT.

HI. THIS IS JAMIE.
LEAVE ME A MESSAGE.

HEY, JAMIE, IT'S CONNOR.

CALL ME BACK. I WANT
TO TALK TO YOU. BYE.

HANG ON. I GOTTA
FINISH THIS CONVERSATION.

HOLD ON TWO SECONDS.

CAN YOU HANG ON FOR ONE SECOND?

GIVE ME TWO MORE SECONDS, OK?

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. OK.

HELLO.

HI, MRS. BARTLETT.
IS JAMIE THERE?

YEAH. JAMIE!

CONNOR'S ON THE PHONE.

TELL HIM I'LL CALL HIM
BACK LATER.

SHE SAID SHE'S GONNA
CALL YOU BACK.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. BYE.

* GOTTA GET UP AND GO,
THERE'S NOTHING TO IT *

* COME ON, DO IT

HEY.

WHERE'S JAMIE?

SHE'S EXCUSED FROM CLASS.

SHE HAD A MEETING
WITH HER HANDLER.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

I'LL BET SHE FORGOT.

DON'T WORRY, LINDS.
SHE'LL BE HERE.

HI. HI.

HEY, JAMIE. HEY.

JAMIE!

JAMIE!

HEY. YOU LOOK GREAT.

MOVE IT.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE JUST THE GIRL
I WAS LOOKING FOR.

WATCH IT!

I AM?

CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?

JAMIE!

JAMIE...

NOT NOW, CONNOR.

BUT...

MARCO WAS JUST ABOUT
TO ASK ME SOMETHING.

I'M SORRY. YOU WERE SAYING?

LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY
AND EVERYTHING

WITH ALL YOUR "IS" STUFF, BUT...

JAMIE...

DO YOU WANT TO GO
TO THE DANCE WITH ME?

OF COURSE I DO.

YOU GUYS, I AM SO LATE.

LET ME DROP THIS STUFF OFF,

AND BOY, DO I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU.

YEAH, YEAH.
YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL,
NOW LET'S MOVE IT.

ARE YOU READY?

NO. NOT WITHOUT
MY NORMAL HAIR
AND MAKE-UP TEAM.

I DON'T KNOW HOW
I'M GOING TO
PULL THIS OFF.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

DON'T TELL ME YOU FORGOT.

OK. I HAVE REALLY
IMPORTANT NEWS.

MORE IMPORTANT
THAN SAVING
THE HELPLESS BUNNIES?

UH, YEAH.

KIND OF.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU FORGOT.
WE NEED YOU.

OH, YOUR PROTEST
IS TODAY, ISN'T IT?

LINDSAY, IT IS
TOTALLY NOT MY FAULT.

I ASKED, BUT...

DIANA TO CALL
TO SEE IF YOU COULD
MOVE IT TO FRIDAY

BECAUSE I HAVE
THIS PRESS THING
TO DO RIGHT NOW.

WE'VE BEEN
PLANNING THIS
FOR MONTHS.

I CAN'T JUST CHANGE
THE DATE TO FIT
YOUR SCHEDULE.

THIS IS REALLY BAD, ISN'T IT?

YOU HAVE TO ASK?

LOOK, I'M REALLY SORRY,

BUT IT'S FOR THE BOOK,

AND I HAVE A LIMO
WAITING FOR ME OUTSIDE.

WHATEVER.

I CAN CALL THEM AT THE RALLY.

I CAN MAKE THIS WORK
FOR EVERYONE.

IF I COULD ONLY FIND
MY CELL PHONE.

SAWYER, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO SAY,

BUT I REALLY SHOULD BE THERE.

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING LATER?

I'M TAPING A SEGMENT
OF RISE AND SHINE.

TOTALLY LAME,
BUT WHAT CAN YOU DO?

ANYWAY, DO YOU WANT
TO GRAB A BITE
TO EAT LATER?

ANYTHING BUT PIZZA, EW!

CAN'T STAND THE STUFF.

HELLO.

HEY, THAT IS MY PHONE.

WELL, YOU WEREN'T GONNA USE IT

FOR ANYTHING IMPORTANT.

I LOVE PIZZA.

AND LINDSAY IS MY FRIEND.

LINDSAY ISN'T GOING
TOO MAKE YOU A SUPERSTAR.

MAYBE I DON'T WANT
TO BE A SUPERSTAR.

"I DON'T WANT TO BE A SUPERSTAR.

I LOVE PIZZA."

WELL, I SUPPOSE YOU DIDN'T WANT

THE CUTEST BOY IN SCHOOL

TO ASK YOU TO THE DANCE EITHER.

WELL...

STOP WHINING AND START
ACTING LIKE IS.

OH, YOU LOOK ADORABLE.

SO, YOU READY?

COME ON.

UH...

IN A SOCIETY SUCH AS OURS,

IT IS INDEFENSIBLE
TO TREAT SMALL,
LITTLE CREATURES,

SUCH AS THE BUNNY,
IN UNCARING WAYS.

THEY HAVE ANIMAL TESTING...

YOU WANT TO SIGN OUR PETITION?

NO. I WANT TO FIND THE BATHROOM.

UH-HUH. AROUND THE CORNER
TO THE LEFT.

THIS PROTEST
IS A COMPLETE DISASTER.

NOW THE BUNNIES
ARE GONNA PAY FOR IT.

IT'S NOT OUR FAULT
THAT OUR
CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENT

PULLED OUT AT THE LAST MINUTE.

NO. IT'S HER HANDLER'S FAULT.

I LIKED HER BETTER
WHEN SHE DIDN'T
HAVE A HANDLER.

ME, TOO.

IN 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

HELLO, I'M CHRISTINE BECKLER,

AND WELCOME TO RISE AND SHINE.

TODAY, I'M VERY PLEASED TO HAVE

HIGH SCHOOL FRESHMAN
AND BEST SELLING AUTHOR,

JAMIE BARTLETT.

IT'S A PLEASURE TO BE HERE.

SO HOW DOES IT FEEL
TO GO FROM
HIGH SCHOOL FRESHMAN

TO BEST SELLING AUTHOR

IN ONE SEMESTER?

WELL, THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF

STRANGE THINGS HAPPENING TO ME,

BUT AFTER AWHILE,
YOU JUST GET USED TO IT.

WE'VE BEEN TOLD THAT YOUR BOOK,

"IS SAVES THE WORLD,"

IS THE FASTEST SELLING
CHILDREN'S BOOK

IN SCHILLING PRESS HISTORY.

WELL, WE OBJECT
TO THE WORD "CHILDREN"

BECAUSE IS RELATES TO EVERYONE.

WE?

I MEAN, ME.

RIGHT.

YOU'VE SOLD A LOT OF BOOKS.

IT'S IN ITS SECOND PRINTING.

WOW, DID YOU EVER THINK
IT WOULD DO SO WELL?

WELL, AS I WAS WRITING
"IS SAVES THE WORLD,"

I FELT AS IF I HAD
TAPPED INTO SOMETHING

BIGGER THAN MYSELF.

AND THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING.

AND THAT'S WHAT
SCARES ME THE MOST.

I'M SORRY, WHAT SCARES YOU?

OH, NOTHING.

I JUST MEANT
THAT PEOPLE
CAN REALLY RELATE

TO THE STORY,

ALTHOUGH I'M NOT SURE WHY.

OH, I DO.

IT'S A TERRIFIC STORY.

SO TELL US, JAMIE,

HOW DID YOU COME UP
WITH IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?

WELL, MY
ENGLISH TEACHER,
MISS GALLAGHER,

SAID TO WRITE WHAT WE KNOW.

WAIT. SO YOU'RE SAYING
THAT "IS SAVES THE WORLD"

IS BASED ON REAL EVENTS?

OH, I COULDN'T
MAKE THAT STUFF UP.

AND THE CHARACTERS
ARE REAL AS WELL?

OH, THEY'RE VERY REAL. YES.

ACTUALLY,
SOME OF MY FANS
HAVE POINTED OUT

THAT IS IS NO MORE
THAN AN ALTER EGO
OF MYSELF.

BUT SHE ISN'T.

AM I IS?

IS ISN'T.

IS SHE?

AM I IS?

YOU'RE IS?

THAT'S QUITE IMPRESSIVE.

IS BATTLES EVIL

IN ALMOST EVERY SINGLE
CHAPTER OF THE BOOK.

WHAT CAN I SAY?

EVIL EXISTS IN MANY
DIFFERENT FORMS.

AND THE MORE I TALK TO THE KIDS,

THE MORE I REALIZE THAT EVERYONE

HAS A LITTLE BIT OF IS IN THEM

AND EVERY SCHOOL HAS A SAWYER.

I'M SORRY. WHO'S SAWYER?

HOLY COW.

I THOUGHT THE EVIL VILLAIN'S
NAME WAS MYRNA.

UH-OH.

I DIDN'T SAY SAWYER.
I SAID MYRNA,
RIGHT?

NO. YOU SAID... YOU SAID SAWYER.

WE HAVE IT ON TAPE.

BUT... BUT...

OH, NO.

WHY DIDN'T I JUST GO

AND SAVE A LITTLE
CUTE LITTLE
BUNNY RABBIT.

THIS WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE THE BEST DAY
OF MY LIFE.

OK, THAT'S ALL WE HAVE
TIME FOR TODAY.

WE THANK YOU FOR JOINING US,
MISS BARTLETT.

WE WISH YOU
TREMENDOUS SUCCESS
ON YOUR BOOK.

UP NEXT, 7 THINGS
IN YOUR TOILET BOWL

THAT COULD KILL YOU.

RIGHT AFTER THIS.

CUT.

OK, JAMIE. KEEP IT TOGETHER.

ONLY 20 MORE FEET
UNTIL YOU REACH YOUR LOCKER.

OH!

OH, NO!

JAMIE BARTLETT,
STOP RIGHT THERE.

BUSTED.

IS PREPARED TO FACE HER DOOM.

YOU BASED THAT EVIL WITCH ON ME?

I'M SUPPOSED TO BE MYRNA?

NO, NO, NO. IT'S FICTION.

I SAW THE INTERVIEW
THIS MORNING, BARTLETT.

I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID.

WE ALL HEARD WHAT YOU SAID.

I'M SORRY, SAWYER.

OH, NO. BUT YOU'RE GOING TO BE.

I'M GONNA DESTROY YOU

BECAUSE THIS IS
THE REAL WORLD, JAMIE.

YOU CAN'T JUST ZAP ME
INTO PERPETUAL DETENTION.

ZAP.

SHE SPEAKS THE TRUTH.

BUT I'M GONNA ZAP YOU
RIGHT BACK TO LOSERVILLE

WHERE YOU BELONG.

LEAVE HER ALONE, SAWYER.

OH, YOU'RE DEFENDING HER?
HAVE YOU READ HER BOOK?

YEAH. WHY?

YOU'RE IN IT, TOO.

WHO DO YOU THINK
THE MUSCLE-HEADED BOZO

WITH THE PEA-SIZED BRAIN IS?

THAT'S ME?

NO. IT'S JOSH.

THAT'S SO NOT COOL.

SHE WROTE ABOUT ALL OF US.

SHE TRASHED ALL OF US.

WE'RE THE CLONE
HORRIFIC COHORTS?

CAN I OFFER YOU
A LITTLE PIECE
OF ADVICE?

YEAH.

RUN.

YES, DIANA.

OH, I THINK THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

UH-HUH. I'M JUST
GONNA RUN IT
BY RALPH,

AND I'LL GET BACK TO YOU.

OK, WHATEVER IT IS,

I'M SURE IT'S NOT A GREAT IDEA.

DIANA WANTS TO HAVE
A BOOK SIGNING.

AT THE PIZZA PARLOR.

YEAH. SEE, LIKE I SAID,
THAT'S NOT A GREAT IDEA.

JAMIE...

WHAT'S WRONG?

EVERYTHING, MOTHER.

IT WAS THE BEGINNING OF THE END.

LENNY!

OH, NO.

WILL YOU PLEASE DROP
THE DRAMARAMA ACT.

I'M TOTALLY BORED WITH IT.

OH, I'M SORRY,
BUT IN CASE
YOU HADN'T NOTICED,

MY LIFE IS FALLING APART.

FALLING APART. HELLO.

YOUR LIFE IS JUST BEGINNING.

OR HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN
SO QUICKLY?

WE'RE GOING TO
THE DEEP BLUE SEA DANCE
WITH MARCO VEGA.

WE ARE.

WE'RE GOING TO THE...

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

I'M GOING TO THE DANCE
WITH MARCO.

YOU ARE STAYING HERE.

GUESS AGAIN.

DO YOU THINK YOU COULD
PULL THIS OFF
WITHOUT ME?

WELL...

ANY OF THIS? THE PARTIES,

THE FAN MAIL, MARCO VEGA.

YEAH, BUT I WAS
A GREAT WRITER BEFORE YOU.

REALLY?

DID YOUR PAPER
ON MITOSIS
GET YOU ON MAURA LIVE?

DIDN'T THINK SO.

JAMIE, YOU AND I ARE A TEAM.

WE DON'T NEED SAWYER
OR THE POPULARS.

OUR BOOK IS ON
THE NATIONAL
BEST SELLER LIST.

WE GET TONS OF FAN MAIL
EVERY DAY.

PEOPLE LOVE US.

YEAH. ONLY THE PEOPLE
WHO DON'T KNOW US.

WHO CARES AS LONG
AS THEY KEEP
BUYING THE BOOK.

I WOULD RATHER HAVE
FRIENDS THAN FANS ANY DAY.

YEAH, RIGHT.

I WOULD.

THAT'S IT. IS IS OVER.

I AM NEVER WRITING
ANOTHER WORD ABOUT YOU.

I WOULDN'T DO THAT
IF I WERE YOU.

NOW, IF YOU WON'T
THINK ABOUT YOURSELF,

AND YOU'RE NOT THE GIRL
I THINK YOU ARE
IF YOU WON'T.

THEN THINK ABOUT YOUR PARENTS.

BUSINESS IS BOOMING RIGHT NOW.

AND LET ME TELL YOU ONE THING,

THAT DOESN'T HAVE

ANYTHING TO DO WITH
THE LIVER AND ONION PIZZA.

SO IF YOU SAY GOOD BYE TO ME,

YOU SAY GOOD BYE
TO THE PIZZA PARLOR FOREVER.

FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE.

IT WAS HAPPENING.

IS WAS TAKING OVER.

SHE WAS SAYING
EVERYTHING I WAS THINKING.

UNFILTERED, UNCENSORED,

UNPLUGGED.

SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?

WOULD YOU KNOCK IT OFF.

WE'RE TRYING TO SAVE
THE FAMILY IN HERE.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

WHAT?

I NEED QUIET.

OH, I'M SORRY IF MY MUSIC

IS INTERRUPTING YOU
TALKING TO YOURSELF.

YOU CALL THAT NOISE MUSIC?

WHY DON'T YOU DO US BOTH A FAVOR

AND GIVE IT UP.

HEY, THIS ISN'T
FAIR AND BALANCED.

I NEVER SAID MR. CLARK HAD B.O.

4 COLUMNS OF LETTERS
TO THE EDITOR.

WHAT KIND OF
YELLOW JOURNALISM IS THIS?

AND THEY'RE ALL ANTI IS.

NO, THEY'RE NOT, JAMIE.

THEY'RE ALL ANTI YOU.

YOU MIND IF I SIT HERE?

YEAH. GO FOR IT.

WOW. YOU REALLY KNOW
HOW TO SHAKE THINGS UP.

IT'S A LITTLE OUT OF CONTROL.

IT'S JUST WHAT
THIS PLACE NEEDED.

HEY, SO, IS MYRNA
REALLY BASED
ON SAWYER?

ONLY A LITTLE.

OK. A LOT.

THAT'S SO COOL.

AND ALL THE OTHER
CHARACTERS IN THE BOOK

ARE REALLY STUDENTS HERE?

KIND OF.

SO DOES THAT MEAN YOU'RE IS?

WELL, SHE'D BE
NOTHING WITHOUT ME.

AND I'M MARCO VINCENT, RIGHT?

YEAH.

SWEET.

HEY, CONNOR. HEY.

WHAT'S WRONG?

HAVE YOU TALKED TO JAMIE?

NO. AND I DON'T
REALLY PLAN ON IT.

SHE'S GOING TO THE DANCE
WITH MARCO.

OH, WHATEV.

I'M SO SICK OF HER.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY
IGUANAS I BATHED

TO GET THAT CAR FOR THE DANCE?

HEY.

HERE SHE COMES.

HEY, GUYS.

YOU GUYS...

YOU GUYS, YOU HAVE TO HELP ME.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

YES. SAWYER'S RUNNING
A SMEAR CAMPAIGN
AGAINST ME.

I NEED SOME POSITIVE PR,

AND THAT'S WHERE
YOU GUYS COME IN.

HAVE YOUR HANDLER HANDLE IT.

WHAT'S HER DAMAGE?

YOU ARE.

CONNOR?

I GOT LAUNDRY TO DO.

BUT...

YOU GUYS, I...

WELL, I TRIED IT.

GOOD IDEA.
I CAN TRY
SOMETHING ELSE.

SHE'S SUCH A MYRNA.

COME ON, MARCO.

WHY DON'T WE SIT SOMEWHERE ELSE.

OH, I NEVER TOLD YOU

HOW MUCH I LIKED
THAT POEM
THAT YOU WROTE.

OH... DON'T BRING THAT UP.

THAT WAS TOO EMBARRASSING.

READING THAT
IN FRONT OF THE CLASS.

SO LAME.

NO, IT WASN'T.

I LOVED IT. IT WAS SO...

REAL.

ARE YOU GONNA EAT THOSE?

UH... NO.

MMM...

WELL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.

WE PUT ADS IN ALL
THE LOCAL PAPERS.

THIS PLACE SHOULD BE
A MADHOUSE BY NOW.

WELL, BUSINESS HAS BEEN
KIND OF OFF

SINCE JAMIE'S
LITTLE ANNOUNCEMENT
LAST WEEK.

MAYBE ALL WE NEED IS A NEW PIZZA

TO PICK THINGS UP.

PICKLE PORK EARED PIZZA, PEG?

MAYBE IT'S TIME
TO CUT OUR LOSSES.

WHERE IS EVERYONE?

I MEAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE ONLY SOLD TWO BOOKS.

IT'S A GOOD THING
RALPH'S PARENTS
SHOWED UP.

OH, GOOD. MMM.

WAIT. HERE THEY COME!

CUSTOMERS. WE HAVE CUSTOMERS.

WHA... WAIT! WAIT!

HOOLIGANS.

WE HAVE HOOLIGANS.

WHAT HAPPENED?

I'M BACK.

LINDSAY, DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME

WHEN I'M WORKING
ON OUR MASTERPIECE.

YEAH. I'VE BEEN THINKING
ABOUT WHAT WE SHOULD STUFF

OUR MASTERPIECE WITH.

OH, I KNOW.

I HAVE BEEN
DRIVING MYSELF BONKERS.

WHAT IS GONNA GIVE
OUR WHALE LIFE?

NEWSPAPER?

FOAM... PACKING PEANUTS?

YEAH. ALL GREAT SUGGESTIONS,

BUT I WAS THINKING
OF SOMETHING A LITTLE
MORE PROACTIVE.

AND...

I KNOW THIS WHALE
MEANS A LOT TO YOU,

BUT THIS IS
AN INCREDIBLE OPPORTUNITY

TO MAKE A STATEMENT.

I CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I THINK...
IT'LL TAKE OUR CREATION
TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

TRUE ART ISN'T MEANT
TO BE JUST SEEN.

IT'S MEANT TO BE EXPERIENCED.

YOU CAN'T
GIVE THE PEOPLE
WHAT THEY WANT.

YOU HAVE TO SHOW THEM
WHAT THEY WANT.

WHAT THEY NEED.

WAS THAT A YES?

THAT WAS A HECK YES.

THAT WAS HUMILIATING.

LOCAL MARKET'S FICKLE.

YOU SAID THAT BUSINESS
WOULD PICK UP,

BUT IT'S BEEN EMPTY ALL WEEK.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

NOBODY WANTS TO EAT
WITH A TATTLETALE.

THEY'RE ALL AFRAID OF YOU.

NO. THEY'RE AFRAID OF YOU.

ME? I'M JUST
A FIGMENT
OF YOUR IMAGINATION.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

YOU'RE A MONSTER, AND, AND...

AND I AM, TOO.

LENNY'S GIVEN UP ON MUSIC

BECAUSE OF WHAT WE SAID TO HIM.

LENNY, OPEN UP.

* THE THINGS THAT YOU SAY *

I DIDN'T MEAN THOSE THINGS
THAT I SAID YESTERDAY.

* NEVER HEAR ABOUT...

IT'S NO REASON FOR YOU
TO GIVE UP MUSIC.

* ...WORD TRAVELS FAST

* I'M TELLING YOU TO YOUR FACE *

* I'M STANDING HERE
BEHIND YOUR BACK *

* YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT FEELS *

* TO BE OUTSIDE THE CROWD *

* YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT'S LIKE *

* TO FEEL THAT YOU'RE OUT

* AND YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW IT FEELS *

* TO BE YOUR OWN MESS AGAIN *

* ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN *

* IF YOU COULD READ MY MIND *

* YOU MIGHT SEE

* MORE OF ME
THAN MEETS THE EYE *

* AND YOU'VE BEEN ALL WRONG *

* ABOUT WHO YOU THINK I AM *

* YOU'VE NEVER
GIVEN ME A CHANCE *

* YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT FEELS *

* TO BE OUTSIDE ALONE

* YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT'S LIKE *

* TO BE LEFT OUT

* YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT FEELS *

* TO BE HOPELESS AGAIN

* ON THE OUTSIDE AGAIN

* NO, NO

* I'M TIRED OF STAYING AT HOME *

* I'M BORED AND ALL ALONE

* I'M SICK OF WASTING
ALL MY TIME *

* YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT FEELS *

* TO BE OUTSIDE THE CROWD *

* YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT'S LIKE *

* TO FEEL IN DOUBT

* YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT FEELS *

* TO BE ALONE

* ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN *

OK, THIS IS GETTING
A LITTLE OUT OF HAND.

SINCE WHEN DOES THE SPARTAN
HAVE 5 PAGES

OF LETTERS TO THE EDITOR?

HEY, LOOK AT THIS.

THEY'RE NOT ALL BAD.
CHECK OUT PAGE 8.

"THREE CHEERS
FOR JAMIE BARTLETT.

"SHE DIDN'T LIE OR SLANDER US.

"SHE MERELY
SAW THROUGH OUR MASKS.

"WE ARE GEEKS, AND JERKS,
AND JOCKS,

"AND ALL THOSE THINGS
JAMIE WROTE ABOUT.

"EVEN IF WE NEVER
ADMITTED IT TO OURSELVES.

"DON'T BE EMBARRASSED
THAT SHE SAW
WHO WE REALLY WERE.

"BE EMBARRASSED THAT
WE NEVER REALLY SAW HER.

A FRIEND."

CONNOR.

HEY. YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH. I'M OK.

DID YOU SEE THIS?

SEE IT.

AT LEAST MARCO THINKS
I'M PRETTY SPECIAL.

HUH?

I'D RECOGNIZE
HIS STYLE ANYWHERE.

IT'S JUST LIKE HIS POEM.

OH, AND CONNOR...

I WANT TO THANK YOU
FOR BEING THERE
THE OTHER NIGHT.

YOU'RE REALLY A GREAT FRIEND.

NOW I GOTTA GO FIND MARCO.

MARCO!

THERE YOU ARE.

AND THERE YOU IS.

THAT IS THE SWEETEST THING

ANYBODY HAS EVER DONE FOR ME.

I'LL PLAY ALONG.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

DON'T BE MODEST.

I KNOW IT WAS YOU

WHO WROTE THE LETTER
TO THE EDITOR ABOUT ME.

THE POSITIVE ONE.

IT'S JUST NICE TO KNOW

THAT IN THE FACE
OF ALL THIS
NEGATIVITY TOWARDS ME,

HOWEVER UNWARRANTED
AND MEAN IT REALLY IS.

IT'S JUST NICE TO KNOW

THAT THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE

WHO KNOWS THE REAL ME.

OH, AND MARCO...

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE DANCE.

PLUS, I'D RECOGNIZE
YOUR STYLE ANYWHERE.

WHY, THANK YOU, IS.

IT'S JAMIE.

RIGHT. SORRY.

HEY, SO WHAT TIME
SHOULD I PICK YOU UP?

WELL, IT WAS FUN
WHILE IT LASTED,

BUT EVEN LAST MONTH'S
INCREDIBLE SALES

AREN'T GONNA COVER
LAST YEAR'S LOSSES.

YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU'RE WRONG

ABOUT THAT PÖTÉ PIZZA, PEG.

LET'S GIVE IT ANOTHER TRY.

RALPH, HONEY...

ANOTHER INEDIBLE TOPPING

ISN'T GONNA SAVE OUR RESTAURANT.

THE ONLY WAY WE'RE GONNA
COME OUT AHEAD

IS BY SELLING
THE PIZZA PARLOR NOW.

BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

I HATE TO ADMIT IT.
YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT.

* SLIP ME THE ANSWER

* OR GIVE ME A CLUE

* DO YOU THINK THE PARTY

* IS ALL ABOUT YOU

* YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE

* YOU'RE EVERYWHERE

* SOMETIMES OUT OF FOCUS

* BUT YOU'RE ALWAYS THERE

* YOU WAKE UP AT SUNDOWN

* YOU'RE IN THE WRONG BED

* WITH ALL THESE QUESTIONS

* EATING YOUR HEAD

* WHO DID YOU MEET THERE

* WHAT DID YOU DO

* FORGOTTEN BY MANY

* REMEMBERED BY FEW

* YOU THINK EVERYBODY
LOVES YOU *

* BUT EVERYBODY HATES THE SAME *

* DON'T GET IN THE MIDDLE

* KNOW THAT TIMES
ARE HARD ALL DAY *

* EVERYBODY LOVES YOU

* STILL NOBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

* YOUR NAME

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
MOPING ABOUT.

YOU GOT EVERYTHING
YOU WANTED,
DIDN'T YOU?

A BOYFRIEND AND A SEQUEL?

WHAT ABOUT MY FRIENDS?

OR MY BROTHER'S DREAMS?

OR MY PARENTS' PIZZA PARLOR?

YOU HAVE PLENTY OF MONEY
IN YOUR TRUST FUND.

YOU'LL BE FINE.

EXCUSE ME? THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME.

THIS IS ABOUT MY FAMILY.

DON'T YOU GET IT, JAMIE?

IT'S ALL ABOUT ME.

THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHERE'S OUR LITTLE GIRL?

READY FOR THE DANCE, PRINCESS?

HONEY?

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH. I THINK I'M GOING
TO BE FINE.

JUST FINE.

LET'S GO.

ARE YOU OK?

YEAH. I JUST THOUGHT

THAT THIS WOULD BE
DIFFERENT, THAT'S ALL.

COME ON. LET'S JUST
GET THIS OVER WITH.

OUCH. NOT THE MOST
POSITIVE WAY
TO START A DATE, IS.

WOULD YOU PLEASE
STOP CALLING ME IS?

HI, JAMIE. YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU. SO DO YOU.

AND MARCO, VERY HANDSOME.

ZAP AT YOU, MISS G.

ALL ECOSYSTEMS GO.

OH, IT'S GONNA BE
A WHALE OF A TIME.

GUYS, WHAT'S UP?

HEY, LENNY.

ALL RIGHT.
WE'LL TAKE A QUICK BREAK.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YOU WANT SOME PUNCH, IS?

NO, BUT I'D REALLY APPRECIATE IT

IF YOU WOULD STOP CALLING ME IS.

SORRY.

WELL, I WANT SOME PUNCH.

SORRY FOR CALLING YOU IS.

I THINK YOU'RE
REALLY COOL, JAMIE.

NONE OF MY FRIENDS CAN BELIEVE

THAT SOMEONE
AS SMART AS YOU
SAID YES TO ME.

THAT'S CRAZY.

YOU'RE SO SMART,

AND YOU'RE AN AMAZING WRITER,

AND A POET.

THAT STUPID POEM?

I WOULD NEVER
WRITE SOMETHING
LIKE THAT.

EXCUSE ME?

I PAID THAT DORK CONNOR
TO DO THE ASSIGNMENT
FOR ME.

CONNOR?

WHO CARES? HE'S HOT.
LET'S DANCE.

YOU STAY OUT OF THIS.

CALM DOWN. JUST HOMEWORK, RIGHT?

I HELP YOU WITH YOURS.

IT'S THE PRINCIPLE.

WHAT DOES THE PRINCIPAL
HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?

IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU,
YOU WILL NEVER KNOW.

WILL YOU PLEASE JUST SHUT UP

AND DANCE WITH HIM?

BUT HE'S NOT THE ONE

THAT I SHOULD BE DANCING WITH.

WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?

I'M LOST.

YOU, WITH ME, NOW!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
TRAPPED IN MY COMPUTER.

ARE WE ALL HAVING A GOOD TIME?

YOU THINK YOU CAN
GET RID OF ME
THAT EASILY?

WE'RE A TEAM.

LIKE ABBOTT AND COSTELLO.

MORE LIKE DR. JEKYLL
AND MRS. HYDE.

YOU MADE ME WHAT I AM TODAY.

YES, BUT I WAS THE NICE ONE.

I HAD FRIENDS BEFORE I HAD YOU.

YOU HAD NOTHING.

YOU WERE INVISIBLE.

EVERYONE HATED YOU.

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

THEY HATED WHAT I BECAME.

AND I WANT TO THANK
ONE SPECIAL GIRL

WHO IN SPITE OF
TREMENDOUS OBLIGATIONS

AND RESPONSIBILITIES,
TOOK THE TIME

TO MAKE ALL THE BEAUTIFUL

DECORATIONS IN THE GYM TONIGHT.

AND IF CONNOR WROTE THE POEM,

THEN HE HAD TO WRITE
THE LETTER IN THE PAPER.

AND JUST LOOK AT THAT WHALE.

CONNOR SEES THE REAL ME.

I'VE BEEN SUCH
A HORRIBLE FRIEND TO HIM.

I HOPE HE'LL FORGIVE ME.

JAMIE BARTLETT!

GET OUT HERE AND TAKE A BOW.

ME?

YES.

WE WANT TO THANK YOU

FOR ALL THE GOOD
YOU'VE DONE
FOR THE SCHOOL.

PLEASE. COME HERE.

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO HEAR THIS?

LET'S JUST PULL IT NOW.

JUST GIVE HER A SECOND.

FOR YOUR TIRELESS
DEDICATION
AND COMMITMENT,

AND YOUR AMAZING CREATIVITY.

ACCEPT OUR GRATITUDE.

AND THESE ROSES.

YEAH. WHATEVER.

NOW, IS THERE ANYTHING
YOU WANT TO SAY TO US?

BOO!

THIS IS OUR CHANCE
TO WIN THEM BACK.

SHOW THEM HOW GREAT
WE REALLY ARE.

TELL THEM ABOUT THE SEQUEL.

PROMISE SAWYER
A ROLE IN THE MOVIE.

BOO!

YOU CAN DO IT.

JUST BE YOURSELF.

AND, NO, BE ME.

THANK YOU, MISS GALLAGHER,
FOR THOSE KIND WORDS.

AFTER THE WEEK I'VE HAD,

IT'S NICE TO BE APPRECIATED.

WHOO! JAMIE!

YOU SAID THAT THIS WOULD WORK.

KEEP GOING.

HAVE I MENTIONED MY SEQUEL?

NOT ANOTHER ONE!

WHOO!

GUYS, I'M OUT OF HERE.

ANY OTHER BRILLIANT IDEAS?

THAT'S IT.

LINDSAY AND HARMONY
HAVE RIGGED THE WHALE

TO THROW PROTEST FLYERS
ALL OVER THE DANCE FLOOR.

THEY'LL RUIN EVERYTHING, BUT...

IF YOU RAT THEM OUT
BEFORE THAT HAPPENS,

AND THEY TAKE THE FALL FOR IT,

YOU'LL BE A HERO.

YOU KNOW HOW FICKLE
THE LOCAL MARKET IS.

DO IT.

DO IT.

HARMONY, LINDSAY, STOP!

THAT'S MY GIRL.

THERE'S SOMETHING
I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU.

I'M SORRY.

WHAT?

I'M SORRY TO EVERYONE.

I'M SORRY IF I EMBARRASSED YOU,

OR INSULTED YOU, OR...

HURT YOU IN ANY WAY.

THAT WASN'T MY INTENTION.

NONE OF THIS WAS.

THAT WAS MY PERSONAL,
PRIVATE JOURNAL,

AND NO ONE WAS SUPPOSED
TO READ IT.

BUT THAT STILL DOESN'T
GIVE ME THE RIGHT

TO SAY THE THINGS THAT I DID.

NO ONE IS BLACK AND WHITE

LIKE THEY APPEAR
IN MY BOOK, I MEAN,

WE'RE ALL A LOT OF THINGS.

ALL UNIQUE AND SPECIAL
IN OUR OWN WAY.

AND WE ALL HAVE TALENTS,
INCLUDING MY BROTHER.

EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN'T
WANT ANYONE TO KNOW IT.

HE SHOULD.

SEE, AND THOSE ARE THE THINGS

THAT I SHOULD'VE
BEEN WRITING ABOUT.

HARMONY.

LINDSAY.

COME HERE.

I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW

WHO DID ALL OF THE WORK TONIGHT.

WHILE I WAS OFF

PRETENDING TO BE SOMEBODY
I WASN'T,

THESE TWO WORKED
ABOVE AND BEYOND

WHAT THEY SHOULD HAVE

TO MAKE THIS
DEEP BLUE SEE DANCE
SO SPECTACULAR.

THESE...

ARE FOR YOU.

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

AND I HAVE ANOTHER
PRESENT FOR YOU.

JAMIE, STOP!

IF YOU PULL THAT ROPE,

YOU'LL BE BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING.

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

SOMETHING I SHOULD'VE DONE
A LONG TIME AGO.

YOU DON'T HAVE
THE POWER, IS, I DO.

SAVE THE WHALES!

SHE'S NOT GETTING AWAY
WITH THIS.

NO!!!!

FRIENDS?

FRIENDS.

NOW, WHERE'S CONNOR?

HE DITCHED WHEN YOU
WERE ON STAGE.

I HAVE TO FIND HIM.

IT'S ALL RIGHT. DON'T...

OH!

CONNOR!

WHAT DOES SHE WANT NOW?

IT'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU.

WELL...

YOU FOUND ME.

HI.

LOOK, I'M REALLY SORRY
I'VE BEEN SUCH
A JERK LATELY.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S COME OVER ME.

OR MAYBE I DO.

BUT THE TRUTH IS,
I NEVER LIKED MARCO.

I JUST LIKED HIS POETRY,

AND NOW I FIND OUT
THAT IT WASN'T
EVEN HIM.

IT WAS YOU.

I WIMPED OUT.

I SHOULD'VE JUST ASKED YOU
TO THE DANCE.

ABOUT THAT DANCE.

WAY TO GO, SQUIRT.

MISS BARTLETT.

ABOUT YOUR DISPLAY...

YES, MA'AM.

I WANT A WORD WITH YOU.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

OH...

MONDAY.

DON'T WORRY, SIS.

YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE
WHO'S BEEN A DORK LATELY.

THIS ONE'S FOR YOU.

* YOU SAID YOUR TIME
WAS RUNNING OUT *

* YOU'RE FAR FROM WHERE
YOU WANT TO BE *

* YOUR HANGING IN
THE LOST AND FOUND *

* YOU'RE LOSING TOUCH
WITH EVERYTHING *

* AND WHEN YOU NEED SOMEONE TO *

* LEAN ON

* I WILL BE AROUND

* WHEN YOU THINK IT'S OVER

* I WON'T LET YOU DOWN

* IF YOUR LUCK RUNS OUT

* AND WHEN IT FEELS LIKE
LIFE IS HOLDING YOU DOWN *

* WHENEVER YOU NEED ME,
I WILL BE AROUND *

* DON'T WORRY,
THIS WON'T LAST FOREVER *

* YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT

* BETTER LATE THAN NEVER

* I WILL BE AROUND

* WHEN YOU THINK IT'S OVER

* I WON'T LET YOU DOWN

* IF YOUR LUCK RUNS OUT

* I WILL BE AROUND

* WHEN YOU THINK IT'S OVER

* I WON'T LET YOU DOWN

* IF YOUR LUCK RUNS OUT

* AND WHEN IT FEELS LIKE LIFE *

* IS HOLDING YOU DOWN

* WHENEVER YOU NEED ME

* WHENEVER YOU NEED ME

* I WILL BE AROUND

MOM.

DAD. I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.

I BROUGHT SOME FRIENDS
FOR PIZZA.

WHOA.

WHOA.

WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT?

I GOTTA GET COOKING.

ANYMORE SPINACH PIZZA?

I DIDN'T MAKE SPINACH.

WHATEVER IT WAS,
EVERYBODY WANTS MORE.

SEAWEED?

UH-OH. MY BAD.

NO! YOUR GOOD.

I THINK THIS COULD BE IT.

LISTEN TO THOSE KIDS.

LENNY, GO GET THE SEAWEED

FROM THE SUSHI
IN THE COOLER. HURRY.

PIZZA! PIZZA!

HEY, GREAT PIZZA, MR. B.

PEG, YOU TAKE THE ORDERS,
I'LL GET THE PIZZA.

YOU DID IT, RALPH.
YOU REALLY DID IT.

NO. HE, BUT...

YEAH. I DID.

PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA!

AND WITH ONE SEAWEED PIZZA,

ORDER WAS RESTORED
IN THE KINGDOM ONCE AGAIN.

THE PRINCESS KISSED HER FROG,

AND THEY DANCED UNTIL DAWN.

OK. 9:30.

AND EVERYONE LIVED
HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

AAH!

WELL, ALMOST EVERYONE.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
ABC CABLE NETWORKS GROUP

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

* YOU SAID YOUR TIME
WAS RUNNING OUT *

* YOU'RE FAR FROM WHERE
YOU WANT TO BE *

* YOUR HANGING IN
THE LOST AND FOUND *

* YOU'RE LOSING TOUCH
WITH EVERYTHING *

* AND WHEN YOU NEED
SOMEONE TO LEAN ON *

* I WILL BE AROUND

* WHEN YOU THINK IT'S OVER

* I WON'T LET YOU DOWN

* IF YOUR LUCK RUNS OUT

* AND WHEN IT FEELS LIKE
LIFE IS HOLDING YOU DOWN *

* WHENEVER YOU NEED ME

* WHENEVER YOU NEED ME

* I WILL BE AROUND