Raw Force (1982) - full transcript
A group of martial arts students are en route to an island that supposedly is home to the ghosts of martial artists who have lost their honor. A Hitler lookalike and his gang are running a female slavery operation on the island as well. Soon, the two groups meet and all sorts of crazy things happen which include cannibal monks, piranhas, zombies, and more!
(engine droning)
- (mumbles) additional information on that
gray Grummand Albatross you spotted, 598.
Where was it, over?
- [598] Uh, Saigon and Borneo, over.
- [Man] Direction was it flying?
Over.
- [598] Southwest, to Hong Kong.
Over.
- [Man] Read its marking 598, over.
- [598] Negative, all we could
see was a red tail, over.
- [Man] Was it military?
- [598] No military identification, over.
- [Man] 598, over.
- [598] Will do Singapore.
(tense music)
(aircraft droning)
(suspenseful music)
(eerie suspenseful music)
- [Man] Look what I got here!
(girls whimpering)
Come on!
Get down!
(chucking)
(eerie growling)
(anguished music)
- Look at that shit!
(men chattering)
Drag your ass (mumbles),
that's it, get going...
- [Girl] What do you want?
- Come on, get your ass
(mumbles), get up there!
Ah (chuckles)!
- Good morning.
- Good morning Mr. Speer.
Take off their clothes.
- Cooper, will you please
help the ladies undress?
- Sure man (chuckles).
- No!
- Wow, yeah, dig that!
(girls whimpering)
(cloth ripping)
- [Girl] Help me!
(girls weeping)
(men chattering)
Come on!
(chucking)
-You're hurting me!
- This way, that's right!
(weeping)
- Oh, my dress!
- Get in there...
- No, stop!
(girls whimpering)
- Stop it!
- [Man] Yeah that's it,
lock 'em up, lock 'em up!
(creaking)
Let me in there by myself, I'll...
- [Man] Far out, fellas, (chuckles)...
- [Man] That is something.
- I think you got a deal there Charlie.
- Ah...
(men chattering)
(women whimpering)
Wait!
Not that one!
Not that one!
- [Girl] Oh no (whimpers)...
- What's wrong with her?
- Too skinny!
- [Speer] Too skinny, so what?
Hey what are you doing there?
- [Man] Hey what are you
doing with that basket?
- [Speer] You there, what's
going on here, (mumbles)...
- [Man] What are you taking
that off of there for?
(shouting)
- We can't let these thieving
bastards get away with this!
Start breaking necks!
- Hey that's no good man!
Then we can't come back
next week with another load.
You dig what I'm saying?
- Yeah but what are you
gonna do with the broad?
We can't take her back
on the airplane with us!
She knows too much.
- Take the jade and leave!
- Go!
(ominous music)
- Jesus (mumbles)...
(grunting)
These are heavy...
- Hey, how about me?
- Sorry honey, there's
no room on the airplane!
- Bullshit, bastard, I
didn't have to come here!
- Hey!
(fist thumping)
(girl groaning)
(dramatic music)
(monks laughing)
(suspenseful music)
(screaming)
(dramatic music)
(blade hissing)
- How 'bout it up there,
we're gonna miss our boat!
(horn honking)
(ship's horn blowing)
- Raise the dead?
- That's what it says.
- Let me see that.
Discovered by Captain James Cook in 1779,
Warriors' Island is supposed
to be the burial ground
of disgraced martial artists,
inhabited by a bizarre
sect of monks, widely
believed throughout the orient
to raise the dead warriors
from their graves,
to repel attacks or threats by outsiders.
The island was bypassed by the
Japanese Imperial Army during WWII.
- [Man] Still glad you came Mike?
- [Mike] Sounds like it's
gonna be quite a trip.
(ship's horn blowing)
- [Woman] Straight ahead, next!
- [Announcer] All‘n ashore
that's going ashore!
(tires squealing)
All ashore that's going!
- Well it sure doesn't
look like the brochure!
- Where else can you get six
weeks for a grand, complete?
- Well I don't know, I thought it'd be
something like Love Boat.
- [Announcer] All ashore
that's going ashore!
- Are you the boys from
the Burbank Karate Club?
- In the flesh!
- Well hurry up,
we're ready to embark!
- This is positively my
last sailing for that woman.
- You said the same
thing last time, Captain.
The time before that too.
- This time I mean it, I
mean all she wants is profit!
(rustling)
(crashing)
She doesn't spend a nickel on this tub!
I mean, look at it, crappy maintenance,
inept crew, well present
company accepted of course.
- You're Taylor,
you're Schwartz,
and you must be O'Malley.
- Right, he's the guy that decided
to come at the last minute.
- Still want to own your own
Chinese restaurant one day?
- Yes sir.
- Hmm, you do, huh?
You'll never make it on the
wage she pays 'ya, never!
There's only one word for
you madam, that is cheap!
- Listen, I want you guys to meet my chef!
He's pretty good at that Kung Fu stuff.
Maybe you guys can get together and put on
a little show or something?
- I hope he can cook as
good as he can fight,
I got a big appetite.
- I bet you do babe!
Oh (chuckles), feel that!
Come on guys let's go.
- Sad...
- [Woman] Get with it, come on fellows.
- Mrs. Buck!
We're ready to weigh anchor when you are!
- Okay, okay, I'm coming, I'm coming!
- Weigh anchor!
(metallic ratcheting)
(ship's horn blowing)
- [Announcer] For those of
you who like martial arts,
we have an exhibition in progress
(weapons clattering)
on the forward promenade,
you can see (mumbles)...
- Hey what the hell's
going on out there?
Hey, hey, this ain't
no playground you guys!
(passengers chattering)
Somebody might get hurt!
(grunting)
(weapons clattering)
What the hell are you doing, stop that!
Do that someplace else!
Hey, get out of here!
Get!
(grunting)
(weapons clattering)
- May I pay you a modest compliment?
You have beautiful eyes.
(giggles)
- What's it any of
your business buddy?
- I'm sorry, I thought the lady was alone.
- Oh sit down, here have
one of my mar-two-nees.
- Um, this is my husband Loyd.
- How you doing?
- When we get together
the way to get buy is pull out
the booze and let's get high!
(grunting)
(weapons clattering)
(glass breaking)
- Hey what are you doing?
(mumbling)
(weapons clattering)
(grunting)
- Oh...
- Hiyah!
(thudding)
- You listen to me madam!
They're wrecking my ship!
- You shut up!
- My ship!
- Your ship?
Brother this is my ship!
These are my passengers and this is my fun
and you get out of here!
Just get out of here!
- You know what it's bad
enough that her bar blocks my view,
now my window's broken!
Next thing it'll be my tooth!
- Get out of here!
You're blocking my view!
- Mrs. Buck one day
you'll go too far!
- [Man] Let's have a big hand folks,
for that exciting performance of Bo Jitsu!
(applauding)
While my colleagues get
ready for their next stunt,
I'd like to give a short lesson
to the ladies in self defense.
Now I'll need one volunteer!
- Go ahead Cookie, he doesn't have to know
you're on the LAPD SWAT team!
Go on!
- How 'bout you?
(pleasant music)
- Okay.
- Now the first thing I
want you people to see,
is the wrong way to fend off an attack.
Now what would you do if I
came at you with a knife?
- I certainly wouldn't tell you!
(woman giggling)
- Okay just do it!
(growling)
See what I mean?
- I haven't done it yet.
Huh?
- Hai, hai!
(grunting)
(woman giggling)
(foot thumping)
(groaning)
Hai!
(applauding)
(ominous music)
(pleasant music)
(engine chugging)
- [Captain] Easy men!
Didn't any of you ignoramuses
ever dock a ship before?
Watch out god dammit!
- Give me three cases of Smirnoff Vodka
and two cases of Johnny Walker Red.
- [Announcer] Make sure
your shop carts, are...
- God forbid we should run out of liquor!
You can bet they don't sell
it on Warriors' Island!
- [Announcer] If you have
any questions regarding
your (mumbles)...
- We're supposed to sail
by the island, not go on.
- A lot of our passengers
want to go ashore
and take pictures of the monks.
- No one is permitted to go there except
martial arts outcasts.
Even they are allowed to go there,
only to die.
- That's right, the
Potter's Field of Kun
I'm sorry Chin, it's one of the places
our passengers paid to see.
- Setting foot on the island,
will invoke wrath of Buddha!
- Will you do me a favor?
Don't be so damn superstitious!
Oh and check out our stores
of olives and pretzels.
- [Announcer] Do not drink the tap water,
as a precautionary measure against
(giggling)
- There they are.
- (mumbles) plague.
- Sure you don't want to see
kickboxing with us Mike?
- Uh, no thanks John,
I'm going shopping with
Ann, Lloyd and Hazel.
- Then we're gonna catch a live, sex show!
- Lloyd!
- Just kidding Ann.
- He is (chuckles).
(bell ringing)
- Like a drink?
- Nah, no thanks.
- Ready gang?
- Ready.
- Go on let's go!
- And be sure to be aboard
at 0900 hours tomorrow morning,
- Dodds!
- when we sail
- I'm going shopping.
- to Warrior's Island.
- Yeah?
- Outside of deodorant is
there anything else you need?
(audience shouting)
(hits thudding)
- Get up, get up!
Get up, get up!
(hits thudding)
(audience shouting)
- Concentrate of monkey brains is the best
physic you'll ever find, believe me!
- Try anything once!
- Where are we?
(tires screeching)
Ah, that's,
I want you all to see the
K-Mart of the Jade trade.
You won't believe this
place, it is something else.
- Here you go.
- Thanks a lot pal!
- Wait uh, I know where it is,
it's six blocks thataway, come on.
- Wait a minute, I got an idea.
Aren't you bushed?
- No not particularly.
- Yes you are, why don't Mike and I grab
a cab back to the ship and soak our corns
in epsom salts, that way then she'll have
a dance partner tonight.
- All right.
- Taxi!
See 'ya later!
900 1/2 General Mathin Street.
- What's that?
- The Palace of
1001 Pleasures!
- The what?
(car horn honking)
- It's a cat house.
- Oh Lloyd, right now I really don't feel
like going to any place.
- This is the only chance
I got to hit this joint!
You're my cover!
You don't have to do anything
if you don't want to.
- Okay, but I don't want to stay long.
- [Lloyd] Thanks O'Malley.
You're a good sport.
- I don't believe this!
These prices aren't real!
I don't know how they do it.
- Volume I guess.
(customers chattering)
- 550 pounds of uncut,
double-A grade jade a week,
and our only real expense is
the airplane, and we got that
from war surplus.
- (chuckles) Do you realize
what airplane fuel costs nowadays?
- What's the difference?
I st|ll think I'm entitled to more than
10% of the profits!
- What if the monks refuse the girl again,
like they did last time?
- Like you said man, then
we start breaking heads!
Look, they need us as much
as we need them, right?
- Listen we ain't got much time left!
I think we better go.
(brakes squeaking)
(doors thumping)
- This won't take long.
- What's all this?
- [Lloyd] Today must be trash day.
Forget the outside, I
hear the inside's great!
- Aren't cat houses legal here?
- No.
- Seems like they should be.
- That must be it!
- Whoever named this place the
Palace of 1001 Pleasures, (chuckles).
(knocking)
(pleasant music)
- Hi guys.
My name's Mai Lu, come on in.
- [Lloyd] Thanks doll.
- (mumbles) I go in
first, see who's there,
and check the exits.
If I don't come out after
five minutes, you come in!
Questions?
- No man.
- There it is up ahead.
Pull over on that bridge Cooper!
Where are my binoculars?
Don't look suspicious, let's have a look.
Second floor.
(tense music)
It's a good time, there won't
be many customers there now.
Maybe none.
(suspenseful music)
- Oh that's nice.
You know, you go down there!
- How long will you be in town.
- Just a day and night.
Our ship sails in the morning.
- Where to?
- A place called Warrior's Island?
Have you ever heard of it?
(knocking)
- Ah, excuse me.
(pleasant music)
- Hello, I'm Mai Lu, come in.
- Drop the joint Cooper!
(engine revving)
- Screw you!
- How come the monks have
the power to raise the dead?
- I imagine it's a closely guarded secret.
And you've never heard of the place?
- Uh-uh, I'm strictly a city girl.
- Anybody here going to Warriors' Island?
- I am, have you heard of it?
- Damn right!
A couple of years ago I was stuck there!
- No kidding?
- It's a terrible place.
- [Thug] Come on back, back, back, stop!
(crunching)
Stop you pot head!
- Why in the hell are you going there,
if you don't mind my asking?
- I understand that's where
martial arts criminals
meet their maker.
- That's pure bullshit mine friend.
Let me give you some good advice.
I would avoid Warriors'
Island, like the black plague.
(knocking)
- Open up this door, Police!
- Open this door!
- Open up!
- What's that?
- It's a raid!
- Open up!
(dramatic music)
- There must be a mistake!
Mama San paid the cops off!
Always she does!
- Let's go!
- Maybe your Mama San forgot this month!
- Break it down!
(clattering)
(screaming)
- What are you doing here?
- Read, police, police, police!
- (mumbles), you're hurting...
(perky music)
- Leave me alone!
(screaming)
- Uh-oh what's that?
Hey!
Jesus!
- Do me a favor will 'ya?
Next time pick somebody
else to be your cover.
- Well you said you
didn't want to stay long!
- Hey, hey!
(perky dance music)
- I sign on cruise,
they sail by the island,
not go on island.
I have to go and talk to Captain Dodds.
- So they bust in the door,
and then Lloyd and I went out the window!
- (mumbles) tab?
- Six dollars please.
- I just can't see you
in a whorehouse in the
middle of the afternoon
Mike, it isn't like you.
Ah, I was just doing the guy a favor Gary.
- Ah, the joint must have done something
pretty bad for the police to pull a raid.
Maybe the girls have a disease?
(chuckling)
- Soon as I get enough
money stashed away I'm
gonna buy my own ship.
I'm tired of taking orders
from a silly female.
- That's smart Harry.
- That's where you can come in.
I'm gonna be needing
a, recreation director.
- Yeah?
- By the way, what's your
line of business now?
- Construction.
- Construction, what do you do?
- I run a forklift.
- Oh.
I gotta see a man about a horse.
(chuckling)
- Oh Big John...
- That's him.
- [Thug] Get him.
- Ah...
(clicking)
What's your problem pal?
- Just shut up and walk out of here.
- Yes sir anything you say sir.
(perky dance music)
- [John] Let's have another round.
(laughing)
- [Mike] Oh John you
are something else pal.
- Say Captain!
I want to talk to you.
- Sure, what?
(hits thudding)
(grunting)
(clattering)
(women screaming)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(bottles clattering)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(crashing)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(glass clattering)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(grunting)
(glass clattering)
(hits thudding)
(grunting)
(siren wailing)
(glass breaking)
- Come on baby, come on, come on!
(grunting)
Come on, come on, come on!
Get up, get up!
(hits thudding)
(tires screeching)
- Hiyah!
(glass shattering)
(tires screeching)
(ducks quacking)
(crashing)
(ducks quacking)
- Hey you all right?
- I think it's my foot,
but I'm okay.
(grunting)
- All right.
- You know I thought he was a
fag, until I felt his knife!
- A knife?
Got any idea what he's after?
- Well one thing's for certain.
- What's that?
- It wasn't my body!
(laughing)
(bell ringing)
(chattering)
- [Announcer] We are now departing.
Those of you tossing money
into the air are again
reminded that the divers
request that you do not
throw pennies, nickles or
dimes, only quarters and above.
- They are heading straight
toward our source of jade!
We have to stop those fools!
- No question man!
- Well what the hell happened
last night, you were supposed
to kidnap the captain!
Zis is ridiculous!
- I told 'ya,
next time we won't miss, don't worry!
I've got this fantastic plan!
- Don't worry he says.
- I guarantee that ship
will never reach Warriors' Island.
The plan is already in operation.
This time tomorrow, everybody
aboard that ship will be dead!
- [Announcer] The spread
for today, (mumbles),
roast suckling pig, lobster chop suey,
and French fried squid.
Those of you who wish to
try one of Mrs. Buck's...
- By golly this is my ship!
- Madam will you please get
down below!
- Don't call me madam!
- Mrs. Buck...
- Ms!
(pleasant music)
(chattering)
- So what are you doing here (mumbles)...
- Ever see so many weirdos?
- There are a lot of people here.
- Look at 'em, they're
packed in like sardines!
- I think it's somebody's birthday.
- What'd you say your name was?
- Cookie Winchell.
- How long you been a cop?
- Four years.
What do you do?
- I'm a male stripper!
- Really.
That's interesting.
Excuse me.
- Ever hear of the Stallion
Galleon in Marina del Rey?
- No.
- Hey I'm the star
attraction there!
- Could I have another
sweet vermouth on the rocks?
- Sure, coming right up!
(grunting)
(crunching)
(screaming martial arts cry)
(laughing)
Wanna have dinner tonight doll baby?
- I have a boyfriend back in California.
- Say uh, you're pretty,
do you have a sister?
- No, but I have a cousin.
Someplace...
- You know like I was saying before,
you'd be surprised at
the number of sharp girls
you meet doing a fork lift.
- What'd you call 'em,
construction groupies?
- No, jealous.
- Should I be?
- Next to you the others are nothing.
- Hey John, more beer?
- Hey Mel, how's life?
- All right.
- You know Mel here is contact, uh,
full contact karate
champion of the West Coast.
- [Woman] Wow.
- Attention everybody!
Today is Steve Polaski‘s 30th birthday!
Let's hear it!
(shouting)
(clapping)
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday dear Stevie, ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
(squealing)
(clapping)
(knocking)
- You're not concentrating on this!
Maybe you're too tense!
(knocking)
(mumbles), maybe some 3-in-1 Oil?
- The Stallion Galleon,
it's for girls only.
Mostly starlets, some
old timers come there to.
Hey this famous actress, I
think you guys would know her,
she sits by the stage?
You gotta see this, she shoves $100 bills
down my jock!
- My ex boyfriend couldn't make love to me
til I did a striptease first.
- What do you call that?
- Fetishes, he was into fetishes.
- That's really sick!
- Hmm, I don't know, I
kind of liked it myself.
- Well, excuse me.
(knocking)
- Hi!
Can you use a couple more girls?
- Sure, come on in!
- This is Betty!
- Hi!
- [Man] Hey, hey what's going on in there!
Come on man, hey (mumbles)...
- You may not believe
this, but I've never done
anything like this before...
(guests grumbling)
You definitely have to relax.
- Okay.
- Maybe we'll get...
- We're getting it,
we're getting it!
- He's gorgeous isn't he?
- Yeah, he is.
- Would you like to meet him?
-You know I would.
- Come on with me...
(giggling)
- Show it to me!
- (mumbles) my pleasure!
- We were looking around
the room and decided
you are the handsomest man here.
- Thank you.
- My friend Betty
is doing a centerfold.
I think it's good for her to be seen with
attractive looking men.
- Oh?
- If you play your cards
right, she can be yours!
- (chuckles) I'm sorry, Hazel sort of...
- No problem.
Tell me about the centerfold.
- (chuckles) The centerfold, well,
it's really not for positive sure yet,
well, we still have to...
- Why are you doing it, for the money?
- Well, (chuckles) gee like I
said I don't even know if I...
- For the publicity?
- Well, sure, I guess you
could say that I...
- You're not doing it
for publicity, I know why you're doing it.
- Why am I doing it?
- For the Devil.
- The Devil.
- Yeah.
Look around this place,
it's the Devil's den.
- (chuckling) Are you joking?
- No Betty, the Devil's no joke.
(cloth ripping)
(squealing)
- I've been eyeing you since Long Beach.
- Hmm, you have?
- Care for a drink?
- Mmm, okay.
- How 'bout a green
grave digger this time?
- A green grave digger?
What in the hell is that?
- Vodka, creme de menthe,
and a lot of cracked ice!
- Hey babe, your strap's undone!
- Uh, why don't you tie 'em for me?
- Sure.
(squealing)
(screaming)
(laughing)
- Oh babe, sorry!
- Have you seen Eileen?
- She left with Big John, after
they got hit with the cake.
- See in the old days,
a vested killer like
a shogun or ninja you could be able to do
just about anything
they damn well pleased.
- Oh yeah?
- Except maybe three things,
be a bully, fight dirty or run away.
They did any of those things uh,
they were outcasts of society.
The only way they could make things right
was by committing suicide.
- Why did they do that
on Warriors' Island?
- Well they believed that the monks would
make them raise again
from the dead to fight.
That way they would get a second
chance, to uh, (mumbles)...
(tender music)
- ls that true?
- Probably not.
- It's just a fantasy.
Yeah.
- Hope you're for real.
- Me?
I'm flat out (mumbles) Eileen.
- I bet you say that to all the girls.
- I don't.
I never felt like this
about a girl before,
that's the truth.
- [Announcer] Ladies and
gentlemen, pay no attention
to the fact that (mumbles)
southern skies...
- [Man] Everybody's down
here in the boiler room,
myself included, (mumbles)
propellor, Captain.
In 20 minutes I think
we can rock it loose.
(Announcer chattering)
- Are you one of those
Vietnam veterans that's
always demonstrating on TV?
- Nah, the army treated me A-okay.
- What'd you do in the army?
- I flew a Huey Cobra.
- A helicopter, right?
- Machine of war though
would be a better term.
Had 16 guns and it was capable of firing
948 rounds per second.
- Really?
What kind of work do you do now?
- At nights I teach Karate
at the Burbank Karate Club.
- How 'bout your days?
- I'm a Certified Public Accountant.
(giggling)
Where's Lloyd?
- Where he always is, in the
bar drinking himself silly.
- What if your wife shows up?
- I'm telling you baby, she won't!
We're only gonna be five minutes, come on!
- Five minutes!
- [Announcer] Matters should be cleared up
in the engine room shortly!
- My god, it must
- Easy!
- have been some fight!
- Got a little rough but
it really wasn't much.
- ls there anything I can
do to make it feel better?
- You're doing just fine.
- [Woman] Whoo!
- You're all right!
- Come on before my wife gets back!
(mumbling)
Hurry, we gotta make it,
you know we haven't got
all night, sweetheart!
- Just relax!
- What do you mean relax?
Jeez I am relaxed, let's go!
All right
(pleasant music)
- Next thing I knew,
the dude's holding on to
an 11-inch switch blade coming towards me!
- Here and I wish I'd been
there to help you out!
- She's got a black belt!
Anyway, here comes this
dude, I got no place to go,
just like in the movies, but lucky for me,
I'm fast on my feet, whoa!
- Jeffrey!
(Crashing)
(tense music)
- Come on you guys,
we ain't got all night!
- [Thug] Cooper cool that,
that ship ain't going no place,
with 25 pounds of sugar
cane in its fuel tank.
Who's got my arrow?
- Here!
- [Thug] What about the (mumbles)...
(faint chattering)
(suspenseful music)
(radio chattering)
- [Man] In about, 30 seconds.
And wind velocity is 10 knots.
(faint chattering)
- [Crewman] The valve to the
pistons of the main engine.
(Peppy music)
- Gee whiz your boyfriend
must have been far out!
- Yeah I guess you could say that.
- What'd he do for a living?
- He belonged to the mafia, he was a hood.
What do you do?
- Me?
I teach third grade.
By the way, where's your boyfriend now?
- He's dead.
- He's dead, ah, I'm sorry to hear that.
- Don't be, he was a no-good bastard!
- Oh, well, sometimes it just...
- He just couldn't keep
his hands off other women!
I'd come home and find them in my bed!
He was a rotten son of a bitch!
So one day I had enough, I
couldn't take it any more!
So I ended it.
- Oh, oh I see, and
you took this cruise to
get him out of your mind, right?
- I took this cruise to get
myself out of the country!
- Why?
- There's a stupid little murder
warrant out for my arrest.
Oh!
Well, I sure hope they
get this boat going!
Uh, uh, I'm real anxious
to get to Warriors' Island
and see the monks.
(tense music)
- [Crewman] Why should we help?
The engines ain't our concern.
Hey let the boys in the
boiler room worry about it.
- Gin.
- [Crewman] You're the
luckiest son of a bitch
I've ever seen!
- [Crewman] That makes
60 bucks you owe me.
(suspenseful music)
(eerie dramatic music)
(grunting)
(groaning)
- Hey, where you going?
- I want another beer!
(arrow thumping)
- But Jenn...
My god!
(thumping)
Ah, we're under attack!
Attack, help, help!
Help me!
- What was that?
- That was Lloyd!
(Lloyd shouting)
- Come on!
(radio beeping)
- What the hell was that?
(Lloyd shouting)
(suspenseful music)
(shouting martial arts cries)
(sword whooshing)
(tense music)
- Uh, what is this?
Go hide under the stairs!
(whimpering)
Go hide under the stairs!
(woman screaming)
(guests chattering)
(woman screaming)
Hey!
Stay with the girls!
- [Man] Hey Rudy...
- Don't run away!
- What's going on?
(chuckling)
- Hmm hmm....
(chuckling)
(screaming)
- Uh, I just thought of something,
what if my roommate gets
done working out early?
(pleasant music)
- No sweat, the more
the merrier!
(door clattering)
(splashing)
- Holy smokes, who the heck is he?
(splashing)
What do you think you're doing?
(clattering)
(thumping)
(groaning)
(thumping)
- No!
Son of a...
Stop it!
Let go!
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(dramatic music)
(groaning)
- Captain!
- Send out a Mayday call!
- Yes sir, yes sir!
- [Announcer] Your, attention please,
all uh, passengers should stay
inside until further notice,
do not go out on decks!
Repeat all passengers stay put!
(dramatic music)
- Come on you little
son of a bitch, come on!
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(dramatic music)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(groaning)
Mayday, Mayday!
This is the Star of Los Angeles,
latitude 13 degrees, 38 minutes north,
longitude 20...
(dramatic music)
(groaning)
(sparks crackling)
(screaming)
(dramatic music)
(kick thudding)
(grunting)
(fist thudding)
(grunting)
(suspenseful music)
Ya!
(thumping)
Ya!
(water splashing)
- Keep your filthy hands off me asshole.
(chuckling)
(distant screaming)
(door slamming)
(hits thudding)
(grunting)
(clattering)
(hits thudding)
(grunting)
(glass shattering)
(grunting)
(window shattering)
(screaming)
(groaning)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(thumping)
(wood crunching)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(water bubbling)
(suspenseful music)
(clattering)
(glass shattering)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
- Hai!
(kick thudding)
Hai!
Hai!
Where's Eileen?
(distant screaming)
Oh!
- Where's that damn gun?
Around here somewhere...
(drawers clattering)
Ah, ah-ha!
This works!
(dramatic music)
- Repel boarders!
Repel boarders!
All passengers (mumbles) cabins!
This god damned ship is under siege!
We've been boarded by a bunch of maniacs!
(groaning)
(dramatic music)
All passengers go to your
cabins, and lock your doors!
Repeat, go to your cabins!
Don't open your door until
you hear the all clear!
- Eileen!
Ah, what's that?
- Gasoline!
(thug laughing)
(suspenseful music)
(flames whooshing)
(fire alarm wailing)
- Jesus H. Christ, she's on fire!
(water splashing)
(gun firing)
(water splashing)
(gun firing)
Take that you dirty bastards!
Just when I find the god damn gun,
they set fire to the god damned ship!
Come on!
Man the fire hose!
(flames roaring)
Turn it on, turn it on (mumbles)!
- It's all on!
(water splattering)
- Well then turn it up!
- It is up Captain!
- Turn it on!
- It is on!
- Nothing on this tub works!
God dammit!
Come on!
(fire alarms wailing)
(fire roaring)
(fire alarms wailing)
(gas hissing)
- Here help me, (mumbles) here!
- Give him a hand there, give him a hand!
Hey, where is she,
where's what's her name?
- Who?
- Hazel, where's Hazel?
- I don't know I haven't seen her Captain!
(rumbling)
- Hey, where are you going?
- Will you come on, the ship's on fire!
(Hazel squealing)
(Harry shouting)
(explosion booming)
(flames crackling)
(fire alarm wailing)
- All right you guys now hurry up!
(alarms ringing)
- Where are you going?
- To the ship!
- She's in the life raft!
-Are you sure?
- Will you come on!
- Let me go!
- Come on!
- Oh wait, (squeals)!
(flames crackling)
(fire alarms wailing)
- [Mike] All set?
- Last one to drop over!
(mumbling)
- Lloyd, get out of the boat!
(water splashing)
- Oh no (squeals)!
(whimpering)
- That's it, easy, (mumbles)...
Cookie, you're next, come on!
- [Cookie] Come on you guys now hurry up!
Come on!
- Come on!
- I don't wanna
leave my ship!
- Wait for us!
Come on Hazel!
- (mumbles), my ship!
- Come on!
- I don't want to go,
it's my ship!
(explosion booming)
- Get over the side!
The ship's going down!
All the way!
- All right...
(fire alarms wailing)
(flames roaring)
- Well old girl, business has ended.
Adios.
(forlorn music)
(explosion booming)
(flames crackling)
(fire alarms wailing)
(explosion booming)
- Boy it's a big haul this time!
- I told you these
monks wouldn't get fancy
if we stood our ground.
We got a good thing
going for us here Cooper.
One basket of this shit
is worth over $200,000!
- Yes one thing I can't understand,
if the monks like sex so
much, why don't they go
directly to a whorehouse
and buy it themselves?
(chuckling)
- They're not buying the girls for sex!
- Then why are they buying them?
- For food!
- Are you serious?
- They claim that female flesh,
gives them the power to raise the dead.
Come on let's go.
(woman whimpering)
(monks chuckling)
(forlorn music)
(waves lapping)
(groaning)
(water splashing)
- What's our chance of being sighted?
- Zero, we're at least a
couple of hundred miles
from the commercial shipping lanes.
- We're taking water on really fast.
- I know.
- Don't worry Hazel,
everything's gonna be all right.
- I feel so sick I feel lousy!
- I know.
(Hazel groaning)
- How long you think this
raft will stay afloat?
-About a day, tops.
If a certain party
hadn't been so damn cheap
when it came to maintenance,
we could stay adrift
for a week, at least.
(engine rumbling)
Ah!
- What's that?
- There, there a plane!
(chattering)
(gun firing)
- Will you look at that!
(shouting)
- Help!
- A Plane!
- Hey you dummy!
- We're here, here!
We're here!
(shouting)
- You and the rest of our boys,
what's left of them, that is,
have done a great job
in this little operation
I'm running, so I've decided to increase
your share of the profits to 15%.
- Hey, are you sure they barbecue 'em,
they don't just boil 'em in a pot?
- They barbecue them.
(faint popping)
What's that?
- What?
(faint popping)
- That popping?
- It's peoplel
- People?
- It's those people from the ship,
you stupid son of a bitch!
You can't do nothing right Cooper!
You should have been destroyed at birth!
(screaming)
- Hey, hey you!
(shouting)
- Here, here!
- We're here!
- We're here!
(shouting)
(engine rumbling)
- Here we are!
(shouting)
- Bastard!
- Stop!
- How come he didn't tip his wings?
- [Speer] Crossbows!
That's what I get for
teaming up with a hippy!
(mysterious forlorn music)
- Can you hear me out there?
Can you hear me out there?
Hello, can you hear me out there?
- Save your breath son, you're
only talking to the sharks.
The South China Sea is famous for sharks.
- [Mike] What's that?
- It's land!
- Oh!
- Ah!
It's land!
- It's land!
- Looks like we're gonna be
on land in less (mumbles)...
[Lloyd]
Hey!
It's land, land ahoy!
- Why so glum?
We're gonna be on land in a few minutes!
(survivors chattering)
- Land!
- (mumbles) into a juicy coconut!
(screaming)
(dramatic music)
(exotic birds screeching)
- [Hazel] I think I'm gonna vomit!
- Go ahead Hazel, you'll feel better!
(groaning)
- Grab my hands!
- Eileen (mumbles)...
- Walk, watch your dress!
- Good old Mother Earth!
(mumbles) raft, (mumbles) hot shower.
- Where are we?
- Well I would say this
is Warriors' Island.
- What's the next move?
- We got two choices,
we can stay here on the
beach and wait for help,
or we can trek inland,
and try to get some help.
- Let's go.
- Hold it John.
Okay what about the rest of you?
What do you want to do?
Chin?
What do you think?
- We should not be here!
- Well Jesus, there's not
much we can do about that!
- Come on, let's get the show on the road!
- Oop!
(grunting)
- Thanks Harry.
(ominous music)
(insects chirping)
(birds singing)
- I think our chances
of spotting a drug store
are next to nil, Hazel.
- [Hazel] Keep a sharp
eye out for snakes Harry,
I can't stand snakes!
- It's a hell of a lake.
- [Mike] You wanna stop here?
- We still got a half
hour of daylight left.
Let's keep going.
- Okay.
- Hold it.
(grunts) This is where
we camp for the night.
The one mistake we made Chin was
not bringing a case of gin with us!
- Let's go Lloyd.
- Who elected you the leader?
- Nobody, I'm just saying
we gotta get out of here...
- I don't give a crap what you say!
I got as much right as anybody to call
the shots in this group!
Another thing O'Malley, stay
the hell away from my wife!
- [John] Come on Mike, we
don't have time for games.
He wants to camp here, let him.
- Oh, I see, body beautiful thinks
he's gonna call the shots.
- Let's go.
- Wait a minute,
I want to know if you're the
new self-appointed leader.
(thumping)
- Don't ever put your hand on me again!
- Come on Lloyd!
- O'Malley!
- Oh my god!
- Lloyd, wait...
-Jesus!
- Wait a minute I
(gun firing)
(mumbles) beautiful!
(thumping)
- All right that's it, we're
gonna camp here for the night.
(monkeys screeching)
(insects chirping)
You're not thinking about
going for a swim are 'ya?
(chuckling)
You know, Asian piranha
are twice as big as
the South American kind.
- How do you know that?
- (chuckles) In the war I
saw a Viet Cong fed to 'em.
- Sorry about that.
- That's okay.
People react to pressure
in different ways.
- Michael, thank you for,
watching over the group.
- I hope I'm, not
overstepping my boundaries.
- I think a group needs a leader.
- That's not what I mean.
I mean with you.
I'm sorry that's not fair of me.
- No it's fair, it's just not simple.
Lloyd is a really nice
man, he means really well,
he just drinks too much, and gets
a little confused sometimes.
- Do you love him?
- No.
- Well I can't tell you how
much I wanted to hear that.
- Remember those things Harry, those big,
mon, mon, monitor lizards?
Well I hate 'em!
Keep an eye out for monitor
lizards will 'ya Harry?
I'm scared!
- [Cookie] This is the
place on the Brochure!
- You superstitious?
- Oh my god help us!
- This must be the place
where they buried the
god damned Kung Fu fighters.
(tense music)
(explosion booming)
(screaming)
(machine gun firing)
(screaming)
(whooshing)
(explosion booming)
(machine gun firing)
- Quick, run!
(mumbles), watch out!
Yeah!
- Let me see the bulles!
(machine gun firing)
(suspenseful music)
- Let's move in for the kill!
- (mumbles) these guys!
- Yeah let's go for it man!
- I saw Clint Eastwood
do this in a movie once!
- What are you gonna do?
- Down would you?
- [Cookie] I hear something!
- Die (mumbles)!
(gun firing)
- [Harry] Die sucker!
(screaming)
(suspenseful music)
(machine gun firing)
(shouting martial arts cry)
(machine gun firing)
- Where's Eileen, huh, huh?
(groaning)
(laughing)
- No, (screams)!
(dramatic music)
(groaning)
(distant machine gun firing)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(dramatic music)
(distant machine gun firing)
(grunting)
(weapons whooshing)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(groaning)
(dramatic music)
(grunting)
(groaning)
(hits thudding)
(grunting)
(screaming)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
- I know you!
(gun firing)
(gun clicking)
(dramatic music)
(machine gun firing)
(gun firing)
- You bastards!
- Why do those dudes want
to harass us so badly?
- Now I know where I know that guy from!
- Who?
- That guy with this bazooka!
He's the guy I saw at that cat house!
He took a look at the brochure and he
warned us not to come here!
- That still doesn't answer the question
why he doesn't want us here.
- There must be something here
they don't want us to see.
- Uh fellas, there's
some gentlemen behind us.
- Welcome my friends!
- Who the hell are you guys?
- I wanted to ask you the same question.
Follow me.
- What do you think?
- Like the man said, let's follow him.
(monks laughing)
(brooding music)
- You came on this island
without permission.
- We had no choice.
- But you are still trespassing.
- That's bullshit.
- John, cool it.
Okay, you guys say you have no radio.
Could you lend us a boat?
- That is a possibility.
- Let's get out of here these
guys are jerking us around,
they're not gonna give us diddly!
- If you want help, you must earn it.
- How?
- By proving yourself
in battle.
We were not convinced on
what we saw in the cemetery.
Your opponents showed
cowardice, when pressed.
(eerie tense music)
- You must demonstrate,
superior fighting skills,
for you to redeem yourselves!
- I got your redeem.
- What do you want us to do?
- Fight our champions.
- If you defeat them, we will help you.
(insects chirping)
(chattering)
- [Helen] What's that, what am I eating?
- It could be a lot worse.
- Excuse me.
- [Lloyd] Could be a lot
worse if we don't get
anything to drink at all!
- Did you know I used
to be in show business?
- No I didn't know that Hazel.
- Uh-huh, I was in a
contract, to Warner Brothers.
- I'll bite that.
- A lot of companies were after me.
The gas company, the electric company,
and the power company.
- That's funny Hazel.
- This is what you'd
call an old-fashioned,
all-out, no-strings jungle feast!
- Let's cut the ceremonies
and get on with the fight.
(eerie suspenseful music)
- Departed gladiators of
death, rise from your
graves and lock weapons
in battle with the evil
(woman whimpering)
enemy that has invaded our island!
Rise and come forward,
from your sacred graves!
Show us bloodshed, like it used to be,
put on a show we will never forget!
Slice the meddlesome
intruders into little pieces!
(eerie groaning)
Rise, and come forward
from your sacred graves,
so that you can prove
you are not the cowards and losers and
bullies that society said you were!
- Oh Master!
Make them invincible!
Make them stronger, so they can,
once more, kill!
- Find more (mumbles),
gladiators, show us in death,
(screaming)
what you are (mumbles)!
(monk laughing)
(woman screaming)
(monk invoking)
- What is the main course?
- This is it.
- [Harry] Jesus that's a
worm, and that other...
(survivors chattering)
- Yeah?
- You know Hazel...
- Maybe you can come work
for me some day, when I open a restaurant.
- [Harry] A McDonald's hamburger!
- Are you sure?
- Or a Jack-in-the-Box!
- That's her, I'm positive!
(monks chuckling)
- Thank you, Heavenly Masters,
for delivering this tender, young,
delicious female (mumbles)!
(screaming)
(Eileen whimpering)
(monk laughing)
- I started the guided tours at Universal,
did you know that?
- The guided tours
at Universal?
- Uh-hmm.
-You did?
- You spit on me!
- I'm sorry.
- Mai Lu isn't it?
- Yes.
- I was at your place when it
got raided.
- You don't have to worry
about gaining weight so...
- You really had me fooled
there, I didn't take you as
one of the kidnappers that day.
- [Lloyd] Did you ever have
diarrhea, I mean real serious...
- I'm not one of the kidnappers!
None of us are, we want
to get off this island
as bad as you do!
- Oh sacred masters
in the sky, instill our
fighting cadavers with
kicking, slashing strength, to
execute righteous slaughter!
(monks laughing)
(Eileen whimpering)
(Eileen screaming)
- We will get you off this
island, that's a promise!
- Go round up your friends.
- Yeah right!
But there are two more girls,
the monks haven't released
yet, inside there!
- Let's go get 'em!
You stay here and keep an eye on things.
- Hey the other one's an American!
(monks laughing)
(Eileen screaming)
- [Mike] Move out!
(guns firing)
(Eileen screaming)
(explosion booming)
(groaning)
- [John] I'll have you untied in a minute!
(Eileen grunting)
(thumping)
(groaning)
- Eileen!
(monks laughing)
- Let's get out of here right now!
- [Hazel] Come on Harry, we're leaving!
Let's get out of here!
- Let's get the hell
out of here!
(women screaming)
(dramatic music)
(machine gun firing)
(gun clicking)
(screaming)
(chattering)
(mumbles), we gotta get out of here!
(gun firing)
Will you save her, here!
(Mai screaming)
(zombie groaning)
(machine gun firing)
(gun clicking)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
- Here sweethearts!
(hits thudding)
(woman squealing)
(suspenseful music)
- [Hazel] Harry?
- [Mike] Hey, Harry, watch out behind you!
(screaming)
(kick thudding)
(zombie groaning)
Come on let's go!
(hits thudding)
(dramatic music)
(zombies growling)
(fist thudding)
(grunting)
(zombies growling)
- [Harry] Let's get our asses out of here!
(grunting)
(zombies growling)
Cookie come on let's go!
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(perky music)
(zombies groaning)
(women screaming)
(clattering)
(dramatic music)
Come on, let's go!
(monks chuckling)
(women screaming)
(zombies groaning)
(women screaming)
- Wait guys, not yet, wait!
- Come on for god's sakes!
Come on!
- Hurry up you guys, come on!
Come on!
- [Harry] Come on!
(suspenseful music)
(zombies groaning)
(flames crackling)
(zombies groaning)
(clattering)
(zombies groaning)
- [Hazel] I feel so scared!
- Stop...
- I can't go on.
- Really, just drop me, please...
- [Hazel] Harry, I think he's gonna die!
- It's okay, hey baby it's okay!
(eerie suspenseful music)
(monks laughing)
- Good bye Ann...
- [Hazel] He was one of my passengers!
(sobs) A paying passenger!
(Ann sobbing)
My god!
(suspenseful music)
(speaking foreign language)
(monks chuckling)
- [Hazel] That lake is
infested with piranha Harry...
- Hey, that's Speer's plane!
Yeah I'm positive!
- You sure?
- That's how I got here!
(Harry chattering)
- That's how we're
leaving too, let's hit it!
- [Harry] (mumbles), just passed us by!
- It looks like we can gonna
- See the water?
- finally get out of here!
(grunting)
- This is the last one Cooper!
Any more, and the plane
won't be able to take off!
(laughing)
That would be a hell
of a note wouldn't it?
- [Eileen] There were all
these weird looking guys
standing around, they
ripped off my clothes
and put me in that cage, (mumbles).
(mumbling)
- [Hazel] Don't get too
close to the water Harry,
I'm telling you it's full of piranhas!
(chattering)
- [Harry] Weird cage, funny looking cage.
- Don't touch it Harry,
you might get the creeping crud!
(exotic birds singing)
(water lapping)
What's that green?
Harry I think it's some kind of mine!
Look at that big green rock!
- I think it's a jade mine Hazel.
- Oh!
We gotta...
- Wait!
John and I are gonna
check out the airplane!
You guys wait here!
- Just a quick look!
- Stay here Hazel.
- We got the plane, if that doesn't work
we'll still think of something!
- Listen, I know you feel sorry about
losing all your buddies,
but with this our jade
you can retire!
I think we should have gone
with the original source
in the first place, instead of haggling
with a bunch of cannibals.
- I don't believe this!
- Believe it!
Let's go check out the cockpit!
- Can you fly this freak?
- Maybe.
If I can find the keys.
- Who the hell is that?
- He was a helicopter
pilot in Vietnam!
- Okay everybody listen up please.
We can't find the keys to the ignition,
but if everybody gets in the airplane,
I'm gonna see if I can cross a wire, okay?
- Okay.
- Okay.
- That's far enough!
Sorry we have to keep meeting
under these circumstances!
Actually if you had listened
to me in the first place
about not coming here,
the bloody scene which is
about to happen could have been avoided!
(women screaming)
(grunting)
- [Harry] Let's get out of here!
(dramatic music)
(hits thudding)
- Holy shit, not again!
(eerie tense music)
(women screaming)
(clapping)
(grunting)
(women screaming)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(suspenseful music)
(weapons whooshing)
(grunting)
(water splashing)
- [Zombie] Hai!
Hai-ya. hai-yah!
(dramatic music)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(zombie groaning)
- Good shot Chin!
Son of a bitch!
(suspenseful music)
(hits thudding)
(grunting)
(sword whooshing)
(zombie groaning)
(water splashing)
(engine rumbling)
(grunting)
(thumping)
- [Mike] Bastard!
(water splashing)
(suspenseful music)
- Help, I'm bleeding!
There's piranha!
(Speer screaming)
(women screaming)
(dramatic music)
Piranha (mumbles)!
(resolute music)
(zombies groaning)
- Hai, yah!
(dramatic music)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
Hey!
Hey!
- [Harry] Everybody inside!
Move it!
(women screaming)
- They're coming!
(zombies groaning)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
- Look Harry, we're rich!
- We sure are Hazel!
(water splashing)
(grunting)
(water splashing)
- Now we can get a new boat!
- And this time we're
gonna be partners, huh?
We're rich!
Where's old Go Chin, I gotta tell him
he's getting a raise!
- Oh no!
(suspenseful music)
(water splashing)
(grunting)
- Hungry bastards aren't they?
(hits thudding)
(grunting)
(engines rumbling)
(water splashing)
- [Gary] Come on John get
your ass in the airplane!
- [Mai] Hey (mumbles) here, quick!
(zombies groaning)
(engines rumbling)
- Take this!
(suspenseful music)
(explosions booming)
(dramatic music)
(flames crackling)
- Come on O'Malley, get
this thing up, get it up!
(engines rumbling)
(suspenseful music)
Come on, up!
(laughing)
(tender music)
Oh, we're rich Hazel, we're rich!
- Oh Harry, Harry, I love you!
(mumbling)
(triumphant music)
(brooding music)
(perky funk music)
- (mumbles) additional information on that
gray Grummand Albatross you spotted, 598.
Where was it, over?
- [598] Uh, Saigon and Borneo, over.
- [Man] Direction was it flying?
Over.
- [598] Southwest, to Hong Kong.
Over.
- [Man] Read its marking 598, over.
- [598] Negative, all we could
see was a red tail, over.
- [Man] Was it military?
- [598] No military identification, over.
- [Man] 598, over.
- [598] Will do Singapore.
(tense music)
(aircraft droning)
(suspenseful music)
(eerie suspenseful music)
- [Man] Look what I got here!
(girls whimpering)
Come on!
Get down!
(chucking)
(eerie growling)
(anguished music)
- Look at that shit!
(men chattering)
Drag your ass (mumbles),
that's it, get going...
- [Girl] What do you want?
- Come on, get your ass
(mumbles), get up there!
Ah (chuckles)!
- Good morning.
- Good morning Mr. Speer.
Take off their clothes.
- Cooper, will you please
help the ladies undress?
- Sure man (chuckles).
- No!
- Wow, yeah, dig that!
(girls whimpering)
(cloth ripping)
- [Girl] Help me!
(girls weeping)
(men chattering)
Come on!
(chucking)
-You're hurting me!
- This way, that's right!
(weeping)
- Oh, my dress!
- Get in there...
- No, stop!
(girls whimpering)
- Stop it!
- [Man] Yeah that's it,
lock 'em up, lock 'em up!
(creaking)
Let me in there by myself, I'll...
- [Man] Far out, fellas, (chuckles)...
- [Man] That is something.
- I think you got a deal there Charlie.
- Ah...
(men chattering)
(women whimpering)
Wait!
Not that one!
Not that one!
- [Girl] Oh no (whimpers)...
- What's wrong with her?
- Too skinny!
- [Speer] Too skinny, so what?
Hey what are you doing there?
- [Man] Hey what are you
doing with that basket?
- [Speer] You there, what's
going on here, (mumbles)...
- [Man] What are you taking
that off of there for?
(shouting)
- We can't let these thieving
bastards get away with this!
Start breaking necks!
- Hey that's no good man!
Then we can't come back
next week with another load.
You dig what I'm saying?
- Yeah but what are you
gonna do with the broad?
We can't take her back
on the airplane with us!
She knows too much.
- Take the jade and leave!
- Go!
(ominous music)
- Jesus (mumbles)...
(grunting)
These are heavy...
- Hey, how about me?
- Sorry honey, there's
no room on the airplane!
- Bullshit, bastard, I
didn't have to come here!
- Hey!
(fist thumping)
(girl groaning)
(dramatic music)
(monks laughing)
(suspenseful music)
(screaming)
(dramatic music)
(blade hissing)
- How 'bout it up there,
we're gonna miss our boat!
(horn honking)
(ship's horn blowing)
- Raise the dead?
- That's what it says.
- Let me see that.
Discovered by Captain James Cook in 1779,
Warriors' Island is supposed
to be the burial ground
of disgraced martial artists,
inhabited by a bizarre
sect of monks, widely
believed throughout the orient
to raise the dead warriors
from their graves,
to repel attacks or threats by outsiders.
The island was bypassed by the
Japanese Imperial Army during WWII.
- [Man] Still glad you came Mike?
- [Mike] Sounds like it's
gonna be quite a trip.
(ship's horn blowing)
- [Woman] Straight ahead, next!
- [Announcer] All‘n ashore
that's going ashore!
(tires squealing)
All ashore that's going!
- Well it sure doesn't
look like the brochure!
- Where else can you get six
weeks for a grand, complete?
- Well I don't know, I thought it'd be
something like Love Boat.
- [Announcer] All ashore
that's going ashore!
- Are you the boys from
the Burbank Karate Club?
- In the flesh!
- Well hurry up,
we're ready to embark!
- This is positively my
last sailing for that woman.
- You said the same
thing last time, Captain.
The time before that too.
- This time I mean it, I
mean all she wants is profit!
(rustling)
(crashing)
She doesn't spend a nickel on this tub!
I mean, look at it, crappy maintenance,
inept crew, well present
company accepted of course.
- You're Taylor,
you're Schwartz,
and you must be O'Malley.
- Right, he's the guy that decided
to come at the last minute.
- Still want to own your own
Chinese restaurant one day?
- Yes sir.
- Hmm, you do, huh?
You'll never make it on the
wage she pays 'ya, never!
There's only one word for
you madam, that is cheap!
- Listen, I want you guys to meet my chef!
He's pretty good at that Kung Fu stuff.
Maybe you guys can get together and put on
a little show or something?
- I hope he can cook as
good as he can fight,
I got a big appetite.
- I bet you do babe!
Oh (chuckles), feel that!
Come on guys let's go.
- Sad...
- [Woman] Get with it, come on fellows.
- Mrs. Buck!
We're ready to weigh anchor when you are!
- Okay, okay, I'm coming, I'm coming!
- Weigh anchor!
(metallic ratcheting)
(ship's horn blowing)
- [Announcer] For those of
you who like martial arts,
we have an exhibition in progress
(weapons clattering)
on the forward promenade,
you can see (mumbles)...
- Hey what the hell's
going on out there?
Hey, hey, this ain't
no playground you guys!
(passengers chattering)
Somebody might get hurt!
(grunting)
(weapons clattering)
What the hell are you doing, stop that!
Do that someplace else!
Hey, get out of here!
Get!
(grunting)
(weapons clattering)
- May I pay you a modest compliment?
You have beautiful eyes.
(giggles)
- What's it any of
your business buddy?
- I'm sorry, I thought the lady was alone.
- Oh sit down, here have
one of my mar-two-nees.
- Um, this is my husband Loyd.
- How you doing?
- When we get together
the way to get buy is pull out
the booze and let's get high!
(grunting)
(weapons clattering)
(glass breaking)
- Hey what are you doing?
(mumbling)
(weapons clattering)
(grunting)
- Oh...
- Hiyah!
(thudding)
- You listen to me madam!
They're wrecking my ship!
- You shut up!
- My ship!
- Your ship?
Brother this is my ship!
These are my passengers and this is my fun
and you get out of here!
Just get out of here!
- You know what it's bad
enough that her bar blocks my view,
now my window's broken!
Next thing it'll be my tooth!
- Get out of here!
You're blocking my view!
- Mrs. Buck one day
you'll go too far!
- [Man] Let's have a big hand folks,
for that exciting performance of Bo Jitsu!
(applauding)
While my colleagues get
ready for their next stunt,
I'd like to give a short lesson
to the ladies in self defense.
Now I'll need one volunteer!
- Go ahead Cookie, he doesn't have to know
you're on the LAPD SWAT team!
Go on!
- How 'bout you?
(pleasant music)
- Okay.
- Now the first thing I
want you people to see,
is the wrong way to fend off an attack.
Now what would you do if I
came at you with a knife?
- I certainly wouldn't tell you!
(woman giggling)
- Okay just do it!
(growling)
See what I mean?
- I haven't done it yet.
Huh?
- Hai, hai!
(grunting)
(woman giggling)
(foot thumping)
(groaning)
Hai!
(applauding)
(ominous music)
(pleasant music)
(engine chugging)
- [Captain] Easy men!
Didn't any of you ignoramuses
ever dock a ship before?
Watch out god dammit!
- Give me three cases of Smirnoff Vodka
and two cases of Johnny Walker Red.
- [Announcer] Make sure
your shop carts, are...
- God forbid we should run out of liquor!
You can bet they don't sell
it on Warriors' Island!
- [Announcer] If you have
any questions regarding
your (mumbles)...
- We're supposed to sail
by the island, not go on.
- A lot of our passengers
want to go ashore
and take pictures of the monks.
- No one is permitted to go there except
martial arts outcasts.
Even they are allowed to go there,
only to die.
- That's right, the
Potter's Field of Kun
I'm sorry Chin, it's one of the places
our passengers paid to see.
- Setting foot on the island,
will invoke wrath of Buddha!
- Will you do me a favor?
Don't be so damn superstitious!
Oh and check out our stores
of olives and pretzels.
- [Announcer] Do not drink the tap water,
as a precautionary measure against
(giggling)
- There they are.
- (mumbles) plague.
- Sure you don't want to see
kickboxing with us Mike?
- Uh, no thanks John,
I'm going shopping with
Ann, Lloyd and Hazel.
- Then we're gonna catch a live, sex show!
- Lloyd!
- Just kidding Ann.
- He is (chuckles).
(bell ringing)
- Like a drink?
- Nah, no thanks.
- Ready gang?
- Ready.
- Go on let's go!
- And be sure to be aboard
at 0900 hours tomorrow morning,
- Dodds!
- when we sail
- I'm going shopping.
- to Warrior's Island.
- Yeah?
- Outside of deodorant is
there anything else you need?
(audience shouting)
(hits thudding)
- Get up, get up!
Get up, get up!
(hits thudding)
(audience shouting)
- Concentrate of monkey brains is the best
physic you'll ever find, believe me!
- Try anything once!
- Where are we?
(tires screeching)
Ah, that's,
I want you all to see the
K-Mart of the Jade trade.
You won't believe this
place, it is something else.
- Here you go.
- Thanks a lot pal!
- Wait uh, I know where it is,
it's six blocks thataway, come on.
- Wait a minute, I got an idea.
Aren't you bushed?
- No not particularly.
- Yes you are, why don't Mike and I grab
a cab back to the ship and soak our corns
in epsom salts, that way then she'll have
a dance partner tonight.
- All right.
- Taxi!
See 'ya later!
900 1/2 General Mathin Street.
- What's that?
- The Palace of
1001 Pleasures!
- The what?
(car horn honking)
- It's a cat house.
- Oh Lloyd, right now I really don't feel
like going to any place.
- This is the only chance
I got to hit this joint!
You're my cover!
You don't have to do anything
if you don't want to.
- Okay, but I don't want to stay long.
- [Lloyd] Thanks O'Malley.
You're a good sport.
- I don't believe this!
These prices aren't real!
I don't know how they do it.
- Volume I guess.
(customers chattering)
- 550 pounds of uncut,
double-A grade jade a week,
and our only real expense is
the airplane, and we got that
from war surplus.
- (chuckles) Do you realize
what airplane fuel costs nowadays?
- What's the difference?
I st|ll think I'm entitled to more than
10% of the profits!
- What if the monks refuse the girl again,
like they did last time?
- Like you said man, then
we start breaking heads!
Look, they need us as much
as we need them, right?
- Listen we ain't got much time left!
I think we better go.
(brakes squeaking)
(doors thumping)
- This won't take long.
- What's all this?
- [Lloyd] Today must be trash day.
Forget the outside, I
hear the inside's great!
- Aren't cat houses legal here?
- No.
- Seems like they should be.
- That must be it!
- Whoever named this place the
Palace of 1001 Pleasures, (chuckles).
(knocking)
(pleasant music)
- Hi guys.
My name's Mai Lu, come on in.
- [Lloyd] Thanks doll.
- (mumbles) I go in
first, see who's there,
and check the exits.
If I don't come out after
five minutes, you come in!
Questions?
- No man.
- There it is up ahead.
Pull over on that bridge Cooper!
Where are my binoculars?
Don't look suspicious, let's have a look.
Second floor.
(tense music)
It's a good time, there won't
be many customers there now.
Maybe none.
(suspenseful music)
- Oh that's nice.
You know, you go down there!
- How long will you be in town.
- Just a day and night.
Our ship sails in the morning.
- Where to?
- A place called Warrior's Island?
Have you ever heard of it?
(knocking)
- Ah, excuse me.
(pleasant music)
- Hello, I'm Mai Lu, come in.
- Drop the joint Cooper!
(engine revving)
- Screw you!
- How come the monks have
the power to raise the dead?
- I imagine it's a closely guarded secret.
And you've never heard of the place?
- Uh-uh, I'm strictly a city girl.
- Anybody here going to Warriors' Island?
- I am, have you heard of it?
- Damn right!
A couple of years ago I was stuck there!
- No kidding?
- It's a terrible place.
- [Thug] Come on back, back, back, stop!
(crunching)
Stop you pot head!
- Why in the hell are you going there,
if you don't mind my asking?
- I understand that's where
martial arts criminals
meet their maker.
- That's pure bullshit mine friend.
Let me give you some good advice.
I would avoid Warriors'
Island, like the black plague.
(knocking)
- Open up this door, Police!
- Open this door!
- Open up!
- What's that?
- It's a raid!
- Open up!
(dramatic music)
- There must be a mistake!
Mama San paid the cops off!
Always she does!
- Let's go!
- Maybe your Mama San forgot this month!
- Break it down!
(clattering)
(screaming)
- What are you doing here?
- Read, police, police, police!
- (mumbles), you're hurting...
(perky music)
- Leave me alone!
(screaming)
- Uh-oh what's that?
Hey!
Jesus!
- Do me a favor will 'ya?
Next time pick somebody
else to be your cover.
- Well you said you
didn't want to stay long!
- Hey, hey!
(perky dance music)
- I sign on cruise,
they sail by the island,
not go on island.
I have to go and talk to Captain Dodds.
- So they bust in the door,
and then Lloyd and I went out the window!
- (mumbles) tab?
- Six dollars please.
- I just can't see you
in a whorehouse in the
middle of the afternoon
Mike, it isn't like you.
Ah, I was just doing the guy a favor Gary.
- Ah, the joint must have done something
pretty bad for the police to pull a raid.
Maybe the girls have a disease?
(chuckling)
- Soon as I get enough
money stashed away I'm
gonna buy my own ship.
I'm tired of taking orders
from a silly female.
- That's smart Harry.
- That's where you can come in.
I'm gonna be needing
a, recreation director.
- Yeah?
- By the way, what's your
line of business now?
- Construction.
- Construction, what do you do?
- I run a forklift.
- Oh.
I gotta see a man about a horse.
(chuckling)
- Oh Big John...
- That's him.
- [Thug] Get him.
- Ah...
(clicking)
What's your problem pal?
- Just shut up and walk out of here.
- Yes sir anything you say sir.
(perky dance music)
- [John] Let's have another round.
(laughing)
- [Mike] Oh John you
are something else pal.
- Say Captain!
I want to talk to you.
- Sure, what?
(hits thudding)
(grunting)
(clattering)
(women screaming)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(bottles clattering)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(crashing)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(glass clattering)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(grunting)
(glass clattering)
(hits thudding)
(grunting)
(siren wailing)
(glass breaking)
- Come on baby, come on, come on!
(grunting)
Come on, come on, come on!
Get up, get up!
(hits thudding)
(tires screeching)
- Hiyah!
(glass shattering)
(tires screeching)
(ducks quacking)
(crashing)
(ducks quacking)
- Hey you all right?
- I think it's my foot,
but I'm okay.
(grunting)
- All right.
- You know I thought he was a
fag, until I felt his knife!
- A knife?
Got any idea what he's after?
- Well one thing's for certain.
- What's that?
- It wasn't my body!
(laughing)
(bell ringing)
(chattering)
- [Announcer] We are now departing.
Those of you tossing money
into the air are again
reminded that the divers
request that you do not
throw pennies, nickles or
dimes, only quarters and above.
- They are heading straight
toward our source of jade!
We have to stop those fools!
- No question man!
- Well what the hell happened
last night, you were supposed
to kidnap the captain!
Zis is ridiculous!
- I told 'ya,
next time we won't miss, don't worry!
I've got this fantastic plan!
- Don't worry he says.
- I guarantee that ship
will never reach Warriors' Island.
The plan is already in operation.
This time tomorrow, everybody
aboard that ship will be dead!
- [Announcer] The spread
for today, (mumbles),
roast suckling pig, lobster chop suey,
and French fried squid.
Those of you who wish to
try one of Mrs. Buck's...
- By golly this is my ship!
- Madam will you please get
down below!
- Don't call me madam!
- Mrs. Buck...
- Ms!
(pleasant music)
(chattering)
- So what are you doing here (mumbles)...
- Ever see so many weirdos?
- There are a lot of people here.
- Look at 'em, they're
packed in like sardines!
- I think it's somebody's birthday.
- What'd you say your name was?
- Cookie Winchell.
- How long you been a cop?
- Four years.
What do you do?
- I'm a male stripper!
- Really.
That's interesting.
Excuse me.
- Ever hear of the Stallion
Galleon in Marina del Rey?
- No.
- Hey I'm the star
attraction there!
- Could I have another
sweet vermouth on the rocks?
- Sure, coming right up!
(grunting)
(crunching)
(screaming martial arts cry)
(laughing)
Wanna have dinner tonight doll baby?
- I have a boyfriend back in California.
- Say uh, you're pretty,
do you have a sister?
- No, but I have a cousin.
Someplace...
- You know like I was saying before,
you'd be surprised at
the number of sharp girls
you meet doing a fork lift.
- What'd you call 'em,
construction groupies?
- No, jealous.
- Should I be?
- Next to you the others are nothing.
- Hey John, more beer?
- Hey Mel, how's life?
- All right.
- You know Mel here is contact, uh,
full contact karate
champion of the West Coast.
- [Woman] Wow.
- Attention everybody!
Today is Steve Polaski‘s 30th birthday!
Let's hear it!
(shouting)
(clapping)
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday dear Stevie, ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
(squealing)
(clapping)
(knocking)
- You're not concentrating on this!
Maybe you're too tense!
(knocking)
(mumbles), maybe some 3-in-1 Oil?
- The Stallion Galleon,
it's for girls only.
Mostly starlets, some
old timers come there to.
Hey this famous actress, I
think you guys would know her,
she sits by the stage?
You gotta see this, she shoves $100 bills
down my jock!
- My ex boyfriend couldn't make love to me
til I did a striptease first.
- What do you call that?
- Fetishes, he was into fetishes.
- That's really sick!
- Hmm, I don't know, I
kind of liked it myself.
- Well, excuse me.
(knocking)
- Hi!
Can you use a couple more girls?
- Sure, come on in!
- This is Betty!
- Hi!
- [Man] Hey, hey what's going on in there!
Come on man, hey (mumbles)...
- You may not believe
this, but I've never done
anything like this before...
(guests grumbling)
You definitely have to relax.
- Okay.
- Maybe we'll get...
- We're getting it,
we're getting it!
- He's gorgeous isn't he?
- Yeah, he is.
- Would you like to meet him?
-You know I would.
- Come on with me...
(giggling)
- Show it to me!
- (mumbles) my pleasure!
- We were looking around
the room and decided
you are the handsomest man here.
- Thank you.
- My friend Betty
is doing a centerfold.
I think it's good for her to be seen with
attractive looking men.
- Oh?
- If you play your cards
right, she can be yours!
- (chuckles) I'm sorry, Hazel sort of...
- No problem.
Tell me about the centerfold.
- (chuckles) The centerfold, well,
it's really not for positive sure yet,
well, we still have to...
- Why are you doing it, for the money?
- Well, (chuckles) gee like I
said I don't even know if I...
- For the publicity?
- Well, sure, I guess you
could say that I...
- You're not doing it
for publicity, I know why you're doing it.
- Why am I doing it?
- For the Devil.
- The Devil.
- Yeah.
Look around this place,
it's the Devil's den.
- (chuckling) Are you joking?
- No Betty, the Devil's no joke.
(cloth ripping)
(squealing)
- I've been eyeing you since Long Beach.
- Hmm, you have?
- Care for a drink?
- Mmm, okay.
- How 'bout a green
grave digger this time?
- A green grave digger?
What in the hell is that?
- Vodka, creme de menthe,
and a lot of cracked ice!
- Hey babe, your strap's undone!
- Uh, why don't you tie 'em for me?
- Sure.
(squealing)
(screaming)
(laughing)
- Oh babe, sorry!
- Have you seen Eileen?
- She left with Big John, after
they got hit with the cake.
- See in the old days,
a vested killer like
a shogun or ninja you could be able to do
just about anything
they damn well pleased.
- Oh yeah?
- Except maybe three things,
be a bully, fight dirty or run away.
They did any of those things uh,
they were outcasts of society.
The only way they could make things right
was by committing suicide.
- Why did they do that
on Warriors' Island?
- Well they believed that the monks would
make them raise again
from the dead to fight.
That way they would get a second
chance, to uh, (mumbles)...
(tender music)
- ls that true?
- Probably not.
- It's just a fantasy.
Yeah.
- Hope you're for real.
- Me?
I'm flat out (mumbles) Eileen.
- I bet you say that to all the girls.
- I don't.
I never felt like this
about a girl before,
that's the truth.
- [Announcer] Ladies and
gentlemen, pay no attention
to the fact that (mumbles)
southern skies...
- [Man] Everybody's down
here in the boiler room,
myself included, (mumbles)
propellor, Captain.
In 20 minutes I think
we can rock it loose.
(Announcer chattering)
- Are you one of those
Vietnam veterans that's
always demonstrating on TV?
- Nah, the army treated me A-okay.
- What'd you do in the army?
- I flew a Huey Cobra.
- A helicopter, right?
- Machine of war though
would be a better term.
Had 16 guns and it was capable of firing
948 rounds per second.
- Really?
What kind of work do you do now?
- At nights I teach Karate
at the Burbank Karate Club.
- How 'bout your days?
- I'm a Certified Public Accountant.
(giggling)
Where's Lloyd?
- Where he always is, in the
bar drinking himself silly.
- What if your wife shows up?
- I'm telling you baby, she won't!
We're only gonna be five minutes, come on!
- Five minutes!
- [Announcer] Matters should be cleared up
in the engine room shortly!
- My god, it must
- Easy!
- have been some fight!
- Got a little rough but
it really wasn't much.
- ls there anything I can
do to make it feel better?
- You're doing just fine.
- [Woman] Whoo!
- You're all right!
- Come on before my wife gets back!
(mumbling)
Hurry, we gotta make it,
you know we haven't got
all night, sweetheart!
- Just relax!
- What do you mean relax?
Jeez I am relaxed, let's go!
All right
(pleasant music)
- Next thing I knew,
the dude's holding on to
an 11-inch switch blade coming towards me!
- Here and I wish I'd been
there to help you out!
- She's got a black belt!
Anyway, here comes this
dude, I got no place to go,
just like in the movies, but lucky for me,
I'm fast on my feet, whoa!
- Jeffrey!
(Crashing)
(tense music)
- Come on you guys,
we ain't got all night!
- [Thug] Cooper cool that,
that ship ain't going no place,
with 25 pounds of sugar
cane in its fuel tank.
Who's got my arrow?
- Here!
- [Thug] What about the (mumbles)...
(faint chattering)
(suspenseful music)
(radio chattering)
- [Man] In about, 30 seconds.
And wind velocity is 10 knots.
(faint chattering)
- [Crewman] The valve to the
pistons of the main engine.
(Peppy music)
- Gee whiz your boyfriend
must have been far out!
- Yeah I guess you could say that.
- What'd he do for a living?
- He belonged to the mafia, he was a hood.
What do you do?
- Me?
I teach third grade.
By the way, where's your boyfriend now?
- He's dead.
- He's dead, ah, I'm sorry to hear that.
- Don't be, he was a no-good bastard!
- Oh, well, sometimes it just...
- He just couldn't keep
his hands off other women!
I'd come home and find them in my bed!
He was a rotten son of a bitch!
So one day I had enough, I
couldn't take it any more!
So I ended it.
- Oh, oh I see, and
you took this cruise to
get him out of your mind, right?
- I took this cruise to get
myself out of the country!
- Why?
- There's a stupid little murder
warrant out for my arrest.
Oh!
Well, I sure hope they
get this boat going!
Uh, uh, I'm real anxious
to get to Warriors' Island
and see the monks.
(tense music)
- [Crewman] Why should we help?
The engines ain't our concern.
Hey let the boys in the
boiler room worry about it.
- Gin.
- [Crewman] You're the
luckiest son of a bitch
I've ever seen!
- [Crewman] That makes
60 bucks you owe me.
(suspenseful music)
(eerie dramatic music)
(grunting)
(groaning)
- Hey, where you going?
- I want another beer!
(arrow thumping)
- But Jenn...
My god!
(thumping)
Ah, we're under attack!
Attack, help, help!
Help me!
- What was that?
- That was Lloyd!
(Lloyd shouting)
- Come on!
(radio beeping)
- What the hell was that?
(Lloyd shouting)
(suspenseful music)
(shouting martial arts cries)
(sword whooshing)
(tense music)
- Uh, what is this?
Go hide under the stairs!
(whimpering)
Go hide under the stairs!
(woman screaming)
(guests chattering)
(woman screaming)
Hey!
Stay with the girls!
- [Man] Hey Rudy...
- Don't run away!
- What's going on?
(chuckling)
- Hmm hmm....
(chuckling)
(screaming)
- Uh, I just thought of something,
what if my roommate gets
done working out early?
(pleasant music)
- No sweat, the more
the merrier!
(door clattering)
(splashing)
- Holy smokes, who the heck is he?
(splashing)
What do you think you're doing?
(clattering)
(thumping)
(groaning)
(thumping)
- No!
Son of a...
Stop it!
Let go!
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(dramatic music)
(groaning)
- Captain!
- Send out a Mayday call!
- Yes sir, yes sir!
- [Announcer] Your, attention please,
all uh, passengers should stay
inside until further notice,
do not go out on decks!
Repeat all passengers stay put!
(dramatic music)
- Come on you little
son of a bitch, come on!
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(dramatic music)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(groaning)
Mayday, Mayday!
This is the Star of Los Angeles,
latitude 13 degrees, 38 minutes north,
longitude 20...
(dramatic music)
(groaning)
(sparks crackling)
(screaming)
(dramatic music)
(kick thudding)
(grunting)
(fist thudding)
(grunting)
(suspenseful music)
Ya!
(thumping)
Ya!
(water splashing)
- Keep your filthy hands off me asshole.
(chuckling)
(distant screaming)
(door slamming)
(hits thudding)
(grunting)
(clattering)
(hits thudding)
(grunting)
(glass shattering)
(grunting)
(window shattering)
(screaming)
(groaning)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(thumping)
(wood crunching)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(water bubbling)
(suspenseful music)
(clattering)
(glass shattering)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
- Hai!
(kick thudding)
Hai!
Hai!
Where's Eileen?
(distant screaming)
Oh!
- Where's that damn gun?
Around here somewhere...
(drawers clattering)
Ah, ah-ha!
This works!
(dramatic music)
- Repel boarders!
Repel boarders!
All passengers (mumbles) cabins!
This god damned ship is under siege!
We've been boarded by a bunch of maniacs!
(groaning)
(dramatic music)
All passengers go to your
cabins, and lock your doors!
Repeat, go to your cabins!
Don't open your door until
you hear the all clear!
- Eileen!
Ah, what's that?
- Gasoline!
(thug laughing)
(suspenseful music)
(flames whooshing)
(fire alarm wailing)
- Jesus H. Christ, she's on fire!
(water splashing)
(gun firing)
(water splashing)
(gun firing)
Take that you dirty bastards!
Just when I find the god damn gun,
they set fire to the god damned ship!
Come on!
Man the fire hose!
(flames roaring)
Turn it on, turn it on (mumbles)!
- It's all on!
(water splattering)
- Well then turn it up!
- It is up Captain!
- Turn it on!
- It is on!
- Nothing on this tub works!
God dammit!
Come on!
(fire alarms wailing)
(fire roaring)
(fire alarms wailing)
(gas hissing)
- Here help me, (mumbles) here!
- Give him a hand there, give him a hand!
Hey, where is she,
where's what's her name?
- Who?
- Hazel, where's Hazel?
- I don't know I haven't seen her Captain!
(rumbling)
- Hey, where are you going?
- Will you come on, the ship's on fire!
(Hazel squealing)
(Harry shouting)
(explosion booming)
(flames crackling)
(fire alarm wailing)
- All right you guys now hurry up!
(alarms ringing)
- Where are you going?
- To the ship!
- She's in the life raft!
-Are you sure?
- Will you come on!
- Let me go!
- Come on!
- Oh wait, (squeals)!
(flames crackling)
(fire alarms wailing)
- [Mike] All set?
- Last one to drop over!
(mumbling)
- Lloyd, get out of the boat!
(water splashing)
- Oh no (squeals)!
(whimpering)
- That's it, easy, (mumbles)...
Cookie, you're next, come on!
- [Cookie] Come on you guys now hurry up!
Come on!
- Come on!
- I don't wanna
leave my ship!
- Wait for us!
Come on Hazel!
- (mumbles), my ship!
- Come on!
- I don't want to go,
it's my ship!
(explosion booming)
- Get over the side!
The ship's going down!
All the way!
- All right...
(fire alarms wailing)
(flames roaring)
- Well old girl, business has ended.
Adios.
(forlorn music)
(explosion booming)
(flames crackling)
(fire alarms wailing)
(explosion booming)
- Boy it's a big haul this time!
- I told you these
monks wouldn't get fancy
if we stood our ground.
We got a good thing
going for us here Cooper.
One basket of this shit
is worth over $200,000!
- Yes one thing I can't understand,
if the monks like sex so
much, why don't they go
directly to a whorehouse
and buy it themselves?
(chuckling)
- They're not buying the girls for sex!
- Then why are they buying them?
- For food!
- Are you serious?
- They claim that female flesh,
gives them the power to raise the dead.
Come on let's go.
(woman whimpering)
(monks chuckling)
(forlorn music)
(waves lapping)
(groaning)
(water splashing)
- What's our chance of being sighted?
- Zero, we're at least a
couple of hundred miles
from the commercial shipping lanes.
- We're taking water on really fast.
- I know.
- Don't worry Hazel,
everything's gonna be all right.
- I feel so sick I feel lousy!
- I know.
(Hazel groaning)
- How long you think this
raft will stay afloat?
-About a day, tops.
If a certain party
hadn't been so damn cheap
when it came to maintenance,
we could stay adrift
for a week, at least.
(engine rumbling)
Ah!
- What's that?
- There, there a plane!
(chattering)
(gun firing)
- Will you look at that!
(shouting)
- Help!
- A Plane!
- Hey you dummy!
- We're here, here!
We're here!
(shouting)
- You and the rest of our boys,
what's left of them, that is,
have done a great job
in this little operation
I'm running, so I've decided to increase
your share of the profits to 15%.
- Hey, are you sure they barbecue 'em,
they don't just boil 'em in a pot?
- They barbecue them.
(faint popping)
What's that?
- What?
(faint popping)
- That popping?
- It's peoplel
- People?
- It's those people from the ship,
you stupid son of a bitch!
You can't do nothing right Cooper!
You should have been destroyed at birth!
(screaming)
- Hey, hey you!
(shouting)
- Here, here!
- We're here!
- We're here!
(shouting)
(engine rumbling)
- Here we are!
(shouting)
- Bastard!
- Stop!
- How come he didn't tip his wings?
- [Speer] Crossbows!
That's what I get for
teaming up with a hippy!
(mysterious forlorn music)
- Can you hear me out there?
Can you hear me out there?
Hello, can you hear me out there?
- Save your breath son, you're
only talking to the sharks.
The South China Sea is famous for sharks.
- [Mike] What's that?
- It's land!
- Oh!
- Ah!
It's land!
- It's land!
- Looks like we're gonna be
on land in less (mumbles)...
[Lloyd]
Hey!
It's land, land ahoy!
- Why so glum?
We're gonna be on land in a few minutes!
(survivors chattering)
- Land!
- (mumbles) into a juicy coconut!
(screaming)
(dramatic music)
(exotic birds screeching)
- [Hazel] I think I'm gonna vomit!
- Go ahead Hazel, you'll feel better!
(groaning)
- Grab my hands!
- Eileen (mumbles)...
- Walk, watch your dress!
- Good old Mother Earth!
(mumbles) raft, (mumbles) hot shower.
- Where are we?
- Well I would say this
is Warriors' Island.
- What's the next move?
- We got two choices,
we can stay here on the
beach and wait for help,
or we can trek inland,
and try to get some help.
- Let's go.
- Hold it John.
Okay what about the rest of you?
What do you want to do?
Chin?
What do you think?
- We should not be here!
- Well Jesus, there's not
much we can do about that!
- Come on, let's get the show on the road!
- Oop!
(grunting)
- Thanks Harry.
(ominous music)
(insects chirping)
(birds singing)
- I think our chances
of spotting a drug store
are next to nil, Hazel.
- [Hazel] Keep a sharp
eye out for snakes Harry,
I can't stand snakes!
- It's a hell of a lake.
- [Mike] You wanna stop here?
- We still got a half
hour of daylight left.
Let's keep going.
- Okay.
- Hold it.
(grunts) This is where
we camp for the night.
The one mistake we made Chin was
not bringing a case of gin with us!
- Let's go Lloyd.
- Who elected you the leader?
- Nobody, I'm just saying
we gotta get out of here...
- I don't give a crap what you say!
I got as much right as anybody to call
the shots in this group!
Another thing O'Malley, stay
the hell away from my wife!
- [John] Come on Mike, we
don't have time for games.
He wants to camp here, let him.
- Oh, I see, body beautiful thinks
he's gonna call the shots.
- Let's go.
- Wait a minute,
I want to know if you're the
new self-appointed leader.
(thumping)
- Don't ever put your hand on me again!
- Come on Lloyd!
- O'Malley!
- Oh my god!
- Lloyd, wait...
-Jesus!
- Wait a minute I
(gun firing)
(mumbles) beautiful!
(thumping)
- All right that's it, we're
gonna camp here for the night.
(monkeys screeching)
(insects chirping)
You're not thinking about
going for a swim are 'ya?
(chuckling)
You know, Asian piranha
are twice as big as
the South American kind.
- How do you know that?
- (chuckles) In the war I
saw a Viet Cong fed to 'em.
- Sorry about that.
- That's okay.
People react to pressure
in different ways.
- Michael, thank you for,
watching over the group.
- I hope I'm, not
overstepping my boundaries.
- I think a group needs a leader.
- That's not what I mean.
I mean with you.
I'm sorry that's not fair of me.
- No it's fair, it's just not simple.
Lloyd is a really nice
man, he means really well,
he just drinks too much, and gets
a little confused sometimes.
- Do you love him?
- No.
- Well I can't tell you how
much I wanted to hear that.
- Remember those things Harry, those big,
mon, mon, monitor lizards?
Well I hate 'em!
Keep an eye out for monitor
lizards will 'ya Harry?
I'm scared!
- [Cookie] This is the
place on the Brochure!
- You superstitious?
- Oh my god help us!
- This must be the place
where they buried the
god damned Kung Fu fighters.
(tense music)
(explosion booming)
(screaming)
(machine gun firing)
(screaming)
(whooshing)
(explosion booming)
(machine gun firing)
- Quick, run!
(mumbles), watch out!
Yeah!
- Let me see the bulles!
(machine gun firing)
(suspenseful music)
- Let's move in for the kill!
- (mumbles) these guys!
- Yeah let's go for it man!
- I saw Clint Eastwood
do this in a movie once!
- What are you gonna do?
- Down would you?
- [Cookie] I hear something!
- Die (mumbles)!
(gun firing)
- [Harry] Die sucker!
(screaming)
(suspenseful music)
(machine gun firing)
(shouting martial arts cry)
(machine gun firing)
- Where's Eileen, huh, huh?
(groaning)
(laughing)
- No, (screams)!
(dramatic music)
(groaning)
(distant machine gun firing)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(dramatic music)
(distant machine gun firing)
(grunting)
(weapons whooshing)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(groaning)
(dramatic music)
(grunting)
(groaning)
(hits thudding)
(grunting)
(screaming)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
- I know you!
(gun firing)
(gun clicking)
(dramatic music)
(machine gun firing)
(gun firing)
- You bastards!
- Why do those dudes want
to harass us so badly?
- Now I know where I know that guy from!
- Who?
- That guy with this bazooka!
He's the guy I saw at that cat house!
He took a look at the brochure and he
warned us not to come here!
- That still doesn't answer the question
why he doesn't want us here.
- There must be something here
they don't want us to see.
- Uh fellas, there's
some gentlemen behind us.
- Welcome my friends!
- Who the hell are you guys?
- I wanted to ask you the same question.
Follow me.
- What do you think?
- Like the man said, let's follow him.
(monks laughing)
(brooding music)
- You came on this island
without permission.
- We had no choice.
- But you are still trespassing.
- That's bullshit.
- John, cool it.
Okay, you guys say you have no radio.
Could you lend us a boat?
- That is a possibility.
- Let's get out of here these
guys are jerking us around,
they're not gonna give us diddly!
- If you want help, you must earn it.
- How?
- By proving yourself
in battle.
We were not convinced on
what we saw in the cemetery.
Your opponents showed
cowardice, when pressed.
(eerie tense music)
- You must demonstrate,
superior fighting skills,
for you to redeem yourselves!
- I got your redeem.
- What do you want us to do?
- Fight our champions.
- If you defeat them, we will help you.
(insects chirping)
(chattering)
- [Helen] What's that, what am I eating?
- It could be a lot worse.
- Excuse me.
- [Lloyd] Could be a lot
worse if we don't get
anything to drink at all!
- Did you know I used
to be in show business?
- No I didn't know that Hazel.
- Uh-huh, I was in a
contract, to Warner Brothers.
- I'll bite that.
- A lot of companies were after me.
The gas company, the electric company,
and the power company.
- That's funny Hazel.
- This is what you'd
call an old-fashioned,
all-out, no-strings jungle feast!
- Let's cut the ceremonies
and get on with the fight.
(eerie suspenseful music)
- Departed gladiators of
death, rise from your
graves and lock weapons
in battle with the evil
(woman whimpering)
enemy that has invaded our island!
Rise and come forward,
from your sacred graves!
Show us bloodshed, like it used to be,
put on a show we will never forget!
Slice the meddlesome
intruders into little pieces!
(eerie groaning)
Rise, and come forward
from your sacred graves,
so that you can prove
you are not the cowards and losers and
bullies that society said you were!
- Oh Master!
Make them invincible!
Make them stronger, so they can,
once more, kill!
- Find more (mumbles),
gladiators, show us in death,
(screaming)
what you are (mumbles)!
(monk laughing)
(woman screaming)
(monk invoking)
- What is the main course?
- This is it.
- [Harry] Jesus that's a
worm, and that other...
(survivors chattering)
- Yeah?
- You know Hazel...
- Maybe you can come work
for me some day, when I open a restaurant.
- [Harry] A McDonald's hamburger!
- Are you sure?
- Or a Jack-in-the-Box!
- That's her, I'm positive!
(monks chuckling)
- Thank you, Heavenly Masters,
for delivering this tender, young,
delicious female (mumbles)!
(screaming)
(Eileen whimpering)
(monk laughing)
- I started the guided tours at Universal,
did you know that?
- The guided tours
at Universal?
- Uh-hmm.
-You did?
- You spit on me!
- I'm sorry.
- Mai Lu isn't it?
- Yes.
- I was at your place when it
got raided.
- You don't have to worry
about gaining weight so...
- You really had me fooled
there, I didn't take you as
one of the kidnappers that day.
- [Lloyd] Did you ever have
diarrhea, I mean real serious...
- I'm not one of the kidnappers!
None of us are, we want
to get off this island
as bad as you do!
- Oh sacred masters
in the sky, instill our
fighting cadavers with
kicking, slashing strength, to
execute righteous slaughter!
(monks laughing)
(Eileen whimpering)
(Eileen screaming)
- We will get you off this
island, that's a promise!
- Go round up your friends.
- Yeah right!
But there are two more girls,
the monks haven't released
yet, inside there!
- Let's go get 'em!
You stay here and keep an eye on things.
- Hey the other one's an American!
(monks laughing)
(Eileen screaming)
- [Mike] Move out!
(guns firing)
(Eileen screaming)
(explosion booming)
(groaning)
- [John] I'll have you untied in a minute!
(Eileen grunting)
(thumping)
(groaning)
- Eileen!
(monks laughing)
- Let's get out of here right now!
- [Hazel] Come on Harry, we're leaving!
Let's get out of here!
- Let's get the hell
out of here!
(women screaming)
(dramatic music)
(machine gun firing)
(gun clicking)
(screaming)
(chattering)
(mumbles), we gotta get out of here!
(gun firing)
Will you save her, here!
(Mai screaming)
(zombie groaning)
(machine gun firing)
(gun clicking)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
- Here sweethearts!
(hits thudding)
(woman squealing)
(suspenseful music)
- [Hazel] Harry?
- [Mike] Hey, Harry, watch out behind you!
(screaming)
(kick thudding)
(zombie groaning)
Come on let's go!
(hits thudding)
(dramatic music)
(zombies growling)
(fist thudding)
(grunting)
(zombies growling)
- [Harry] Let's get our asses out of here!
(grunting)
(zombies growling)
Cookie come on let's go!
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(perky music)
(zombies groaning)
(women screaming)
(clattering)
(dramatic music)
Come on, let's go!
(monks chuckling)
(women screaming)
(zombies groaning)
(women screaming)
- Wait guys, not yet, wait!
- Come on for god's sakes!
Come on!
- Hurry up you guys, come on!
Come on!
- [Harry] Come on!
(suspenseful music)
(zombies groaning)
(flames crackling)
(zombies groaning)
(clattering)
(zombies groaning)
- [Hazel] I feel so scared!
- Stop...
- I can't go on.
- Really, just drop me, please...
- [Hazel] Harry, I think he's gonna die!
- It's okay, hey baby it's okay!
(eerie suspenseful music)
(monks laughing)
- Good bye Ann...
- [Hazel] He was one of my passengers!
(sobs) A paying passenger!
(Ann sobbing)
My god!
(suspenseful music)
(speaking foreign language)
(monks chuckling)
- [Hazel] That lake is
infested with piranha Harry...
- Hey, that's Speer's plane!
Yeah I'm positive!
- You sure?
- That's how I got here!
(Harry chattering)
- That's how we're
leaving too, let's hit it!
- [Harry] (mumbles), just passed us by!
- It looks like we can gonna
- See the water?
- finally get out of here!
(grunting)
- This is the last one Cooper!
Any more, and the plane
won't be able to take off!
(laughing)
That would be a hell
of a note wouldn't it?
- [Eileen] There were all
these weird looking guys
standing around, they
ripped off my clothes
and put me in that cage, (mumbles).
(mumbling)
- [Hazel] Don't get too
close to the water Harry,
I'm telling you it's full of piranhas!
(chattering)
- [Harry] Weird cage, funny looking cage.
- Don't touch it Harry,
you might get the creeping crud!
(exotic birds singing)
(water lapping)
What's that green?
Harry I think it's some kind of mine!
Look at that big green rock!
- I think it's a jade mine Hazel.
- Oh!
We gotta...
- Wait!
John and I are gonna
check out the airplane!
You guys wait here!
- Just a quick look!
- Stay here Hazel.
- We got the plane, if that doesn't work
we'll still think of something!
- Listen, I know you feel sorry about
losing all your buddies,
but with this our jade
you can retire!
I think we should have gone
with the original source
in the first place, instead of haggling
with a bunch of cannibals.
- I don't believe this!
- Believe it!
Let's go check out the cockpit!
- Can you fly this freak?
- Maybe.
If I can find the keys.
- Who the hell is that?
- He was a helicopter
pilot in Vietnam!
- Okay everybody listen up please.
We can't find the keys to the ignition,
but if everybody gets in the airplane,
I'm gonna see if I can cross a wire, okay?
- Okay.
- Okay.
- That's far enough!
Sorry we have to keep meeting
under these circumstances!
Actually if you had listened
to me in the first place
about not coming here,
the bloody scene which is
about to happen could have been avoided!
(women screaming)
(grunting)
- [Harry] Let's get out of here!
(dramatic music)
(hits thudding)
- Holy shit, not again!
(eerie tense music)
(women screaming)
(clapping)
(grunting)
(women screaming)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(suspenseful music)
(weapons whooshing)
(grunting)
(water splashing)
- [Zombie] Hai!
Hai-ya. hai-yah!
(dramatic music)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
(zombie groaning)
- Good shot Chin!
Son of a bitch!
(suspenseful music)
(hits thudding)
(grunting)
(sword whooshing)
(zombie groaning)
(water splashing)
(engine rumbling)
(grunting)
(thumping)
- [Mike] Bastard!
(water splashing)
(suspenseful music)
- Help, I'm bleeding!
There's piranha!
(Speer screaming)
(women screaming)
(dramatic music)
Piranha (mumbles)!
(resolute music)
(zombies groaning)
- Hai, yah!
(dramatic music)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
Hey!
Hey!
- [Harry] Everybody inside!
Move it!
(women screaming)
- They're coming!
(zombies groaning)
(grunting)
(hits thudding)
- Look Harry, we're rich!
- We sure are Hazel!
(water splashing)
(grunting)
(water splashing)
- Now we can get a new boat!
- And this time we're
gonna be partners, huh?
We're rich!
Where's old Go Chin, I gotta tell him
he's getting a raise!
- Oh no!
(suspenseful music)
(water splashing)
(grunting)
- Hungry bastards aren't they?
(hits thudding)
(grunting)
(engines rumbling)
(water splashing)
- [Gary] Come on John get
your ass in the airplane!
- [Mai] Hey (mumbles) here, quick!
(zombies groaning)
(engines rumbling)
- Take this!
(suspenseful music)
(explosions booming)
(dramatic music)
(flames crackling)
- Come on O'Malley, get
this thing up, get it up!
(engines rumbling)
(suspenseful music)
Come on, up!
(laughing)
(tender music)
Oh, we're rich Hazel, we're rich!
- Oh Harry, Harry, I love you!
(mumbling)
(triumphant music)
(brooding music)
(perky funk music)