Québexit (2020) - full transcript

So, our only out
is a political decision

but then,
supposing Québec votes out.

Then, let them
call out the army

and see what happens.

I had a little
run in personally

with Mr. Macdonald
I think his name is

the Defence Minister
saying that,

there were quite
a few separatists

in the Armed Forces.

In fact, the place is loaded
with separatists

in all Québec units.



But supposing their vote
is a majority vote

and Don Macdonald
and any other jerk tells them,

you're gonna come out
against your own vote

what do you think you'd do?

Look, if the only identity
Canada has

is holding onto Québec,

then it should fall prey
to anything.

MAN #1:
The country's had
several episodes and moments

where there's been
regional tensions.

I mean we're one of the most
decentralized federations

in the world.

We have a vast territory,
37 million people.

We're a very diverse population.

The level of intensity
in regional differences



varies from time to time.

And that's part of life
in Canada.

Québec receives about
$13 billion a year

in equalization payments.

Almost all of that
comes from Alberta.

And we expect provinces
that benefit

from our energy wealth

to help us actually develop
that wealth.

And in Canada,

the third Québec
sovereignty referendum

has yielded a narrow win
for the separatists.

This just months
after the province

refused to permit
a national pipeline

to go through their territory.

The Canadian government
has refused

to recognize this result

and two Québec-based battalions
have defected.

SUSAN:
Oh, you know
you can swipe right sometimes.

Oh, she was good.

That one was good.

SUSAN:
She had teeth anyway.

Yeah.

Nokum just said...

(Stuttering)

She said this is your husband.

SUSAN:
Yeah well, you like it.

Nosey.

Just don't be going
sending messages to anybody.

(Indiscernible speech)

-What the fuck?
-(Sighs)

Well, they're here.

(Deep sigh)

(Taking deep breaths)

Orders, sergeant?

Yes.

(Panting)

Seen, seen.

SINGH:
When is our CO gracing us
with their presence?

SIMPSON:
Yes.

Shit.

(Panting)

Shit.

Ma'am.

Where are the others?

We were supposed to have
two companies.

Roger.

Anything new from the Frag O?

Four-one alpha,
this is three-two alpha.

SUNRAY, you are broken
and unreadable, over.

Ma'am.

Piece of...

Anybody got any bars?

One.

Will I get reimbursed
for the data?

Nope.

SAUVÉ:
We're ordered
to set up over there.

SIMPSON:
The other side
of their checkpoint, ma'am?

-Yup.
-Roger, ma'am.

How, ma'am?

We plant a flag.

Do we have a flag?

One, sergeant.

SAUVÉ:
Québec's not going to tear
our country apart

over a vague question
and a 50 plus one vote.

This stops here.

Canadian democracy's
under threat from...

democracy.

Rules of engagements?

Oh, don't shoot them.

They're still Canadians.

What if they shoot us?

Then, yes.

They're Québeckers.

Move this.

Where?

Anywhere, this isn't war.

(♪♪♪)

HASSAN:
Second Lieutenant.

What the fuck did she say?

I think
we would be more comfortable

doing this in English.

HASSAN:
Well,
only Québeckers speak French.

And I think your soldiers
can't really quite get

what you're saying.

ANGUS:
Don't patronize me.

Corporal Garant.

(♪♪♪)

(Sighs)

It's good for the environment,
French.

So this blue line is the border

between the Confederation
of Canada

and the future
Republic of Québec.

And we are...

Well, we will respect
the free movements

of civilians and goods.

We will protect our sovereignty.

You got a problem, Frenchie?

Cause you keep eye-fucking me.

With all due respect
we held a referendum.

HASSAN:
It was clear.

And we won.

It counts.

France and Russia recognize us
as sovereign.

Which we never signed.

Fucking Queer-bec.

-HASSAN: Woah.
-Woah, woah!

-Hold it!
-Cool it!

He just fucking kissed me,
shut the fuck up!

SAUVÉ:
Hey!

I don't care if
he mushroom-stamped you, Angus.

Lower your weapon.

Your gun's not even loaded.

Drop your weapons now!

With all due respect, ma'am,
there's an imminent threat.

There's going to be
an imminent foot somewhere

if you don't follow my orders.

(Speaks in native language)

Oui!

I'll fucking beat you with this.

You'll be sucking my dick,
it'll feel good.

Okay.

The citizens of Québec
have voted on their future.

We're here to safeguard
their democratic right

to that future.

I suggest you respect that
and recognize us.

Which would make me the senior officer at this border.

(Takes a deep breath)

And I'm ordering you all...

to fuck off.

Fucking off.

Bitch.

Call me.

On the bus, off the bus.

Come back later.

SIMPSON:
Are we at war yet, ma'am?

We have to live
with these people.

Edmundston is nice.

We could--

(Indistinct)

(Stuttering)

SUSAN:
Ahh, fuck it!

We could move there.

Christ.

(Chuckles)

Hello, bonjour.

We're just heading home,
is there a problem, officer?

Absolutely not.

Everything's just fine.

Canada's still
very much united.

(Chuckling)

They're not going to arrest us.

SUSAN:
Just-- let me handle this.

Uh, is this a border crossing?

(Laughing)

(Laughter)

MEETOS:
Run, forest.

(Panting)

This is the sovereign territory
of Québec.

We held a referendum.

We'll take your checkpoint
by force.

I can see the headlines now.

Québec wages war on Canada.

SIMPSON:
The UN condemns
violent secession.

Hmm.

Hello.

Bonjour.

Hi.

Would just like to welcome you.

Yes, officers.

Canada is still united.

HASSAN:
Have a good day.

(Coughs)

All vehicles
entering the Republic of Québec

will be screened.

No one enters
without a Québec ID.

And don't ever call us
Canadians again.

Like my McGill student card?

(Car whirring)

(Sighs)

(Exhales)

(Sighs)

They don't let me go,
I'm from Montréal.

I just want to go home.

SINGH:
If you're from Montréal,

why you trying to get back
into New Brunswick?

MALE DRIVER #1:
Fuck, New Brunswick.

(Chuckles)

No, they cannot reject people

from crossing
into their province.

Send them back. Over.

Rog.

Alright, turn around.

Where? Why?

Woah, woah... what.

What!

Forgot what?

No, you can't do this.

Sis, no!

No! No! Stop!

No, you're not doing this.

You're not doing this.

Turn around, stop.

Turn around, no!

No!

I've got...

Fuck it, I'm getting out.

-I'm getting out.
-Wooh, wooh!

Stop the truck!

Oh for fu--

SUSAN:
Let's just go get ourselves
in jail.

This is like sick, eh?

Fucking backed up.

We're like top dog here.

I got bullied in high school.

So...

(Chuckles)

(Clears throat)

Can we get through?

What is this by the way?

What is that?

I don't have one of those.

Is that like a corporal thing?

You talk too much, Private.

HASSAN:
Hey!

French lives matters!

What are you doing?

(Horns honking)

-Hey!
-Huh?

Why are you loading your gun?

In case someone tries
some shit, man.

-(Grunts)
-Get on the ground!

What's going on? You okay?

If this is Canada,
I'm your superior okay.

Fuck off!

This isn't a game, man.

I know it's not a game,
look I'm on safety.

Oh fuck, I'm on full auto.

Now I'm on safe.

HASSAN:
Hey hey, I said fuck off,

if this is Canada
I'm your superior.

HASSAN:
I'm telling you to fuck off.

(Indistinct shouting)

Holy shit!

You shoot him, I shoot you.

SIMPSON:
And I'll blow your dick off.

Fuck yeah, this shit is on baby.

(Gunfire)

ANGUS:
Aw, shit.

HASSAN:
Don't shoot.

SAUVÉ:
Ceasefire, ceasefire!

What is your problem, Private?

I'm sorry!

Aw, Jesus.

Ceasefire, ceasefire!

Ceasefire.

HASSAN:
Hey, you let him go.

(Indistinct shouting)

-Give me your rifle.
-What?

Give me your rifle!

We're at fucking war now!

In short, COVID-19 is back.

And speaking of viruses.

A viral video of gunfire has
the Canadian federal government

scrambling to put on
a brave face in the light

of its increasingly
strenuous relationship

with Québec.

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau
faced questions

from reporters earlier today.

Are you at all worried about
the UN becoming involved?

The fact is, we work a...

The--

Sorry, just let me try to,
reorder--

reorder the thoughts...

Québec sources deny
further reports

of one of their soldiers
taken captive

allegedly at this small
checkpoint by New Brunswick...

Which...

Oh pardon me,
we're having trouble finding it

on the map.

NEWSCASTER #1:
The other border checkpoints

between the Canadian
and Québec military

are on high alert.

(Chuckles)

She stole my footage.

She has thousands of views.

I have 57.

-57.
-Yum.

Yum.

(Takes a deep breath)

And I almost got shot!

Slower, slower, slower.

I don't have anyone
to talk to in it.

Besides, you speak English.

Sorry.

Not get shot!

Takes time for things to change.

57.

It's fucking hot, man.

And this sucks balls.

(Grunting)

Fuck!

ANGUS:
You play any instruments?
I slap the bass sometimes.

Eh!

Eh!

♪ It's really so hot, yeah,
I wanna leave early ♪

♪ They handed me a stick
cause I shot prematurely ♪

Right, cause yeah...

Implicit in this tasking,

is that you do not create
a goddamn international incident

on some shit road
in the middle

of qu'est-ce que le fuck
nowhere.

Do you want the UN here?

Do you want to go cruise
riding with some blue helmet?

In No Funs-wick?

The whole time the press
is out here

with their little, tiny
effeminate click-baity fingers

trying to find
any possible orifice

to rip wide open
and ruin my goddamn life.

-Tracking, sir...
-(Call hangs up)

Sir?

Anyone got a charger?

No, ma'am.

Taber-fucking-nac!

(Exhales)

That's my phone, ma'am.

Orders, ma'am?

Situation Dictate.
Let's get our flag back.

I shot them.

They went down...

I shot them
and they went down...

You did what you had to do.

Do you think it was serious?

Well, you... shot at them.

You think you'd feel more.

Who did I shoot?

It wasn't the other women,
was it?

One-two alpha,
this is three-two Charlie,

say again, over.

(Chuckles)

Um...

Three-two Charlie,
this is one-two alpha.

Mission abort.

You guys did amazing,
you can go home now.

Really, it's--it's not you.

It's not you, it's me.

I'll always love you.

Fucking Pepsi, man,
I swear to God.

You know what?
Give me this shit.

ANGUS: (On radio)Hello?

Hi.

(Grunting and moaning)

Fredrico, it's so big.

Eat out that butthole.

(Spits)

Fuck!

SINGH:Badtameez! Give me that.

I'm just having fun.
It actually hurt.

Our comms are hacked?
-No, ma'am.

They've crypto-d
all the same frequencies.

The Canadian Military
isn't equipped

to fight against itself.

Don't do it ma'am,
it's not worth it.

SAUVÉ:Hassan?

She's dead.

-(Coughing)
-Ma'am.

What's wrong?

(Coughing)

You did what you had to do.

You did what you had to do.

GARANT:
She didn't deserve this.

She's a fucking federalist
for crying out loud.

It'll be okay.

-(Grunts)
-Fuck.

(Panting)

HASSAN: (On radio)What language is that?

HASSAN: (On radio)Well...

We have dragons.

What is that, what is that?

What is that?
That's a dope weapon, eh?

That's gone, we're fucked?

Corporal, please tell
the Private to shut up.

Will you shut the fuck up,
Private?

HASSAN: (On radio)You want your flag?

Yeah, you can get your flag.

Under one condition.

Ma'am don't.

HASSAN: (On radio)Repeat after me.

There were nights
when the wind was so cold.

There were nights
when the wind was so cold?

HASSAN: (On radio)But when you touch me
like this.

Hassan.

HASSAN: (On radio)And when you hold me
like that.

Dude.

HASSAN: (On radio)I just have to admit that
it's all coming back to me.

Hassan!

-Ma'am!
-Ma'am!

Target in sight,
I'll take the shot.

Don't shoot!

Don't shoot!

I'm--I'm a journalist.

I'm here to see the prisoner.

Hide the fucking prisoner.

ANGUS:
You get in there.

-Get in.
-GARANT: No!

ANGUS:
Get in!

Let me put this down first.

Oh god.

Yeah, I'm close, I'm close!

Angus, stop fucking around.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

ANGUS:
Keep your foot there.

SIMPSON:
Keep an eye out.

Alright, alright, alright.

Hey, I can keep an eye out too,
Sarge.

No, I need you to count to 10.

Where's your rifle, Private?

I put it on the side
cause I thought

it looked unprofessional.

And where should that be?

On me at all times, sir.

(Vehicle revving)

Hey! Hey!

(Chuckling)

(Panting)

Where's your rifle, Private?

Here, Sergeant.

Do you feel that?

It's like a
a father-son dynamic, eh?

I never knew my Dad.

He left.

Said he was going for smokes.

-Private.
-Mhmmm.

Get rid of the stick.

I know, I see.

-Leave it!
-Okay...

SINGH:
Yo!

Chop, chop!

ANGUS:
That's a tight squeeze.

Oh, Jesus!

Can you--can you move over,
can you move over please?

(Clears throat)

Guys?

Alright, we're good.

-(Engine starts)
-(Music playing)

SUSAN:
Maybe they actually killed
each other.

What?

Don't, no, come on, not now!

Oh God!

Why must you?

When are you going
to get your own phone?

(Exhales)

What?

Are--are they coming here?

Oh my God.

We have to fight.

You are officially crazy.

Only you would think of this.

(Deep sigh)

Hey guys...

Listen to this.

(Farts)

-Did you just shit yourself?
-No.

You do realize
we're in the field

for a lot longer, Private.

Okay, cool.

I didn't shit myself so.

Eyes forward please.

Shitpants.

Let's go.

(Laughing)

Thanks for the heads up.

(Taking deep breaths)

Come on man, take it off.

I just bought this.

Take it off.

What if the soldiers come back?

So, you're going to be telling
our truth?

Fuck knows, the colonizer's news
is all fairy tales.

I'm going to report the news...

...unbiased.

That's what I thought.

SUSAN:
I didn't know
you brought the gun.

Alright, well.

Thank you for coming out
and your support.

Anything else?

Fuck pipelines?

As this is the proposed route
of the said pipeline.

This is where the activists
will make their stand.

On unceded Mi'kmaq territory.

Calling on the United Nations,
to get involved

while holding Canada,
as well as Québec accountable

to the
United Nations Declaration

on the Rights
of Indigenous Peoples.

I'm Susan Pelletier.

Will this work?

And if not?

Yeah.

Okay.

BRASSARD:
Fuck off.

(Taking deep breaths)

Hey.

-(Gunfires)
-(Grunting)

Go! Go, go, go!

Garant!

-Garant!
-What the hell?

No, Shitpants!

Don't come back!

Keep going, you fucking fuck!

Oh, fuck!

Shitpants!

Get up!

(Grunting)

Oh God.

(Grunting)

(Panting)

Help!

Garant.

BRASSARD:
We're on strike.

SINGH:
The fuck?

Help!

SAUVÉ:
Corporal Singh.

Private Angus needs your help.

SINGH:
Copy that!

(Grunting)

ANGUS:
I can't breathe.

-Angus.
-Oh no.

-Angus.
-Oh no!

SINGH:
Angus.

I'm here! I'm here!

Don't move.

-Angus, don't move.
-Look, I'm bleeding!

-You're going to be okay.
-Please don't let me die.

I won't let you die.

You'll tell my mom though?
You'll tell my mom.

Don't talk like that.

What are you doing?

Any trouble
with your breathing?

Ahhh, fuck!

(Panting)

How bad is it?
Is it bad?

-It just grazed you.
-No, it's bad.

Angus, it just grazed you.

ANGUS:
No, you're lying.
You fucking liar.

(Panting)

You did shit yourself.

-Angus.
-What?

You're going to be fine,
I gotta go Angus.

No, no no!

-Please, please, please.
-Don't move!

Angus, stay down!

(Indistinct)

Please, Singh!

Please!

You left me, you dick!

SINGH:
You're not gonna die, Angus.

Oh my god,
every time I touch it.

Every time I touch it,
it's more fucking blood.

Hassan!

Hassan!

Hassan!

Please.

(Sobbing)

SIMPSON:
Ma'am, he's unarmed.

(Grunting)

Canada is a peaceful fucking
country.

HASSAN:
There you go,
that's the real you.

(Grunting)

(Speaking in Hindi)

(Grunting)

HASSAN:
Ah, that hurts.

Oh, man.

SIMPSON:
Ma'am!

Anybody got their
boy scout badge in sewing?

There's some French for you.

SIMPSON:
Ma'am.

(Laughing)

We can be friends here, no?

Huh?

He's my bro.

I see the light.

I actually see the light.

No, that's the sun.

It's just the sun.

When governments ignore
First Nations rights,

title, jurisdiction...

...it creates conflict,
and court cases.

What does it say about Canada
now

that instead
of sending peacekeepers

it's receiving them?

Well, it's good to be
well-balanced.

She stole it again!

I'm gonna fucking kick her ass.

What a bitch.

HASSAN:
All this,
for a fucking pipeline.

HASSAN:
Québec would never allow
a pipeline.

We're everything Canada's
tried to be but couldn't.

Secular.

Progressive.

Tolerant.

Oh yeah, super fucking tolerant.

Secular, tolerant.

Yeah, in that kind of
wish people would disappear

sort of way.

Well, we have daycare.

Paid for by Albertans.

And their dirty fucking oil.

It was good enough for you
when it was paying

for your goddamn daycare.

Well, we're a country now.

We'll pay for our own
goddamn daycare.

SIMPSON:
As a Newfoundlander,

I invite you both
to go fuck yourselves.

HASSAN:
Newfie!

(Laughing and panting)

Come on, guys.

GARANT:
Did anyone else
still not get paid?

Hey!

Did anyone else
still not get paid?

(Taking deep breaths)

SAUVÉ:
Stand guard here okay?

Ma'am.

We're on strike.

(Laughing)

(Laughing)

My Cree is a little rusty.

She's short, eh?

ANGUS:
We're on strike
but don't you fret.

All the helmets
are 'dans le tête'

Do you ever stop talking, man?

This...

Don't touch that,
don't touch that.

You're separating.

Was the question clear?

While we recognize these...

...are your traditional lands...

The fact is this blockade
is illegal

and has to be removed.

Although we are all Canadians.

Diverse faces of Canada.

That freedom.

SUSAN:
We need more in common
than Céline Dion.

I mean diversity.

(Laughter)

At least we treated you better
than the English, right?

I guess there's value in being
the nicest Nazi.

We're trying to stop
that fucking pipeline, okay!

Fuck pipelines, fuck pipelines!

You want our sign too?

Keep it moving, Frog.

HASSAN:
How are you going to play this?

-Whatever.
-It's mine, motherfucker.

I feel like you cheated already.

SINGH:
Look, look, my hand.

-It's a game of chance.
-SINGH: My hand.

-Relax!
-My hand.

No, it's a skill my friend.

ANGUS:
A game of chance,
a higher card.

It's fifty-fifty dumbass,
flip the card.

Oh look, I get that one too.

No, that was a six and a three,
that was a six and a three.

-I pulled a six.
-I'm a corporal though.

ANGUS:
We can't call rank
on a fucking strike dude.

BRASSARD:
You pulled a three.

No man, that's a two.

That's like dick bottom, man,
that's like last shit.

You're taking this game
very seriously.

ANGUS:
I'm very competitive yes,
thank you.

That's mine, that's mine, man!

What the fuck?
That was a king on a five!

Almost there,
I can taste that liquor now.

(Laughs)

-What the fuck?
-You brought her--

I know you can see this.

I know you--

This is bullshit.

No this is just a team up now.

I'm getting gang-banged.

(Laughter)

You'd like that.

Second Lieutenant?

You?

Yes.

You abandoned your post.

We had to retrieve this...

You had to retrieve the flag.

It's ripped!

I'm aware

And...

What's up with them?

SAUVÉ:
Uh, they're on strike.

Why?

They have not been paid.

Traitors.

Are you getting paid, sir?

We have a press conference
tomorrow, okay?

It should make all of this
go away.

So...

You...

all should follow along
and do exactly what we tell you.

Until then...

...look like you know
what you're doing.

-Absolutely.
-Wipe your face!

Okay.

Yes, and get those other
soldiers in line.

Yes, sir.

Bonjour.

Hi, guys!

Representing
the federal government!

You know for a little
fuck-weasel from Listowel.

You sure do suck at this game.

Fuck you, man.

Like, fuck you.

You do sense that, right?

Singh, keep talking, buddy.

No but you do sense that, right?

The end.

That sound you hear...

...is your asshole tightening...

...sucking up the seat cushion.

Singh keep talking
and I'll fucking stab you.

I'll wipe that shit-eating grin
off your face.

Oh, what does our friend
the FLQ think?

Nah, doesn't have it.

No!

How about this?

Huh, huh?

You don't have
the fucking balls.

Do it!

Where are you going to stab me?

Where do you want me
to stab you?

I'll stab you wherever you want.

Stab my leg, you little bitch.

I'll do it.

-You little bitch.
-You don't have the balls.

Right now!

-I'm gonna fucking do it.
-Stab my fucking leg.

I'll fucking stab your leg.

-I'll do it.
-Stab my fucking leg.

BRASSARD:
Fucking stab his leg.

I'll fucking do it.
You act like I don't want to...

SINGH:
What are you afraid of man?
What are you afraid of?

I'll do it.

Nothing,
I'm not afraid of you.

SINGH:
That's an order, Private!

Move, I'll stab you,
I'll fucking stab you!

That's an order,
you motherfucker!

I'll do it!

You don't have
the fucking balls!

-I'll do it! I'll do it!
-Do it, do it, do it Angus!

Do it Angus!
Do it Angus!

Just the tip, Angus.

(Indistinct argument)

-I'll fucking do it.
-Do it!

Oh my God, I fucking did it!

Oh my God, I did it

(Grunting)

You fucking idiot,
we got to report this.

He told me to, you heard it!
You heard it!

SINGH:
What the fuck is your problem,
Angus?!

You told me to do it!

Private,
you stabbed me in the leg!

You told me to do it!

You told me to do it!

I don't know
what you want me to say!

What the fuck is wrong
with you?

I'm sorry!

You told me to do it!

You told me to do it!
You told me to do it! You too!

You don't even know
what the fuck's going on,

but you told me to do it.

You fucking idiot!
You fucking idiot!

We all did it!
We all killed Caesar!

James Brodie,
I'm with the federal government.

James Brodie.

(Scoffs)

James Brodie.

I just want to offer that
we are inviting all journalists

to a very important
press conference tomorrow.

Exclusive access.

We would love for you
to join us.

Yes?

I'll be there.

Perfect.

Lovely gun.

It's just a work opportunity.

Not now, I have to focus.

SUSAN:
I have to be objective.

Mr. Brodie!
What time is the event?

BRASSARD:
Do you have a two?

Oh, fuck.

No.

-Corporal?
-Yes, ma'am.

There's a knife in your leg.

Yes, ma'am.

SAUVÉ:
Why?

(Sighs)

Private Anus put it there.

Why?

They were playing cards.

-SAUVÉ: Cards?
-BRASSARD: Hmm

Yes, ma'am.

What game?

War.

(Sighs)

SAUVÉ:
What the fuck?!

Is this how Canada falls apart?

Over a fucking card game.

I'm going to have
to report this.

I'm going to get paper-fucked.

For you assholes,

-do you understand?
-Yes, ma'am.

Your military career is over!

Fuck!

I'm sorry.

-Wipe up your face.
-Yes, ma'am.

And clean up this mess.

I don't want to hear
another word from you all day.

Yes, ma'am.

(Laughs)

(Laughing)

NEWSCASTER #1:
Protests for and against
the pipeline erupt

across Canada and Québec

while Prime Minister Trudeau

and President/Prime Minister
Legault

hold one of many
press conferences

at the Ontario-Québec border.

(Scoffs)

This is going to be
some bullshit.

Mm-hmm.

Salam!

I just want to say...

I love your work.

What you did, the last days...

I think...

you have a lot of potential.

Thanks.

(Clears throat)

Nice of you to join us.

JAMES:
Bonjour, Hi.

Uh, I have a short statement
from the Canadian Ministry

of Foreign Affairs.

-Yes.
-KATRINE: Mm-hmm.

Also, we would like
to acknowledge

that we are in the traditional
land of the a...

Mi... Mic... Mic. Micmac.

It's Mi'kmaq.

Wow, wasn't that nice of them?

Let me handle the French.

Could you say that
in Mi'kmaq, please?

We are on Mi'kmaq
traditional lands,

as you said yourself.

JAMES:
Excuse me.

This is going to get disruptive.

So, we, you know, we hear you,
we respect you,

but dialogue and reconciliation
is a two-way street.

Which is why
the Canadian government

has reached out
to the Québec government.

To open up potential bilateral
constitutional negotiations

that could renew, and refresh
our federalist framework.

You are both...

Though the federal government
is committed

to potentially accepting
the possibility

of Québec sovereignty.

JAMES:
And in exchange
for their acceptance

of a transnational pipeline.

Yeah-- that's it, okay.

Therefore, all military
will stand down.

And with luck, the war is over.

Thank you.

We would also like to invite
Lieutenant Xavier Hassan,

and Lieutenant
Marie-Claire Sauvé...

...to shake hands, to symbolize
this historic truce.

Shake hands, guys.

(Exhales)

(Clears throat)

No!

No, no.

This could be
constitutional change.

Well, maybe you could find
a new lake.

Lake Winnipeg?

No, just do ah, Old Wives Lake.

Great Slave Lake.

JONATHAN:
Yeah, Great Slave Lake!

-Great Slave Lake!
-No!

-Great Slave Lake!
-No!

-Great Slave Lake!
-No!

JONATHAN:
Great Slave Lake!

What about the pipeline?

JAMES:
Ma'am, I'm sorry--

(Airhorn blows)

Ma'am, I'm sorry.

I don't understand you.

Are you able to speak English?

Ma'am, ma'am!

What about the pipeline?

Any comment on the blockade?

That's pretty helpful

She's asking if they'll be
any indigenous representation

constitutional...

...conference!

Is there no other provinces
represented

at this fucking thing?

Alright, can everybody
just fucking speak English?

A lot of can speak French,
I can't speak French.

Fucking speak Chinese
for all I give a fuck.

No, but that's the thing
is everyone can speak it.

I mean
that's the common tongue.

This is Québec
so we will speak French.

I don't give a fuck
if it's Québec.

ANGUS:
I don't understand!

ANGUS:
It's hot as shit out.
I'm miserable.

I got a cotton fucking
t-shirt on.

There's sweat dripping
down my asscrack.

How 'bout you?
Nice suit, buddy.

Shut the fuck up, Anus.

Push me again
and I will fucking rock you.

I don't understand
that's the whole issue!

Shut the fuck up!

You're on TV, man.

Good shit. Like I'm gonna
fucking watch this.

JAMES:
Get a hold of this.

Me get a hold of this?

Yes.

Why, what would be
the point of that, hmm?

We all hate each other.

Intolerant motherfuckers.

-We all love each other, yes?
-No! We don't!

Je parle what I fucking want.

Let's separate together.

Québexit.

Albexit.

You Eastern bastards
can freeze in the dark.

Montrexit.

Plateauxit.

Newfoundland and Labradexit.

What is going on?

You hardly speak up...

...and when you do,
it sounds stupid

Doesn't have the same ring.

(Airhorn blows)

Ma'am! Godammit!
Calm down!

JAMES:
Stop it!

English?

English?

(Airhorn blows)

MAN:
No other provinces?

So the Churchill Falls
agreement?

SUSAN:
Meetos!
No more air horn!

ANGUS:
Intolerant motherfuckers,
intolerant motherfuckers!

What's happening?

Meetos, stop with the airhorn.

Countries!

And I don't think
your Great Slave Lake Accord's

going to fix it.

Stop fucking calling it that!

Thank you.

(Cheering)

SUSAN:
Shut the fuck up!

Take your Armani suit
and fuck yourself!

Fuck this shit!

This is the result
of the snowflake culture.

Everyone wants to be
independent,

that's fucking bullshit
if you ask me.

Ask me!

(Engine starts)

(Whirring)

(Indistinct chattering)

The real question
is after this new deal.

Is all of this finally over?

Are you fucks still on strike?

Yes, sir.

Not anymore, get ready.

We're going to take
the blockade.

We can get you and your men
a ride

to join the Québec offensive.

Saddle up!

Sir?

Yes.

Do you want us to...
take them by force?

If need be.

Do you have a problem with that,
Second Lieutenant?

Good, I didn't think so.

Do up your helmet, soldier!

There's another problem.

Yup...

...you're touching me.

The journalists...

You want us to shoot them?

JAMES:
No.

People could see.

We, uh, need them...

Not here.

Where do you want us
to put them?

JAMES:
Anywhere!

As long as they're not
live streaming.

We're also getting the UN guys
to leave.

Whatever.

(Sighs)

Your fucking helmet!

Where's your helmet buddy?

FURLONG:
Up your mother's ass!

(Takes a deep breath)

(Indistinct chattering
in distance)

(Coughing)

You make friends,
that's how I got embedded

with on of the LAVs.

It's going to be
an amazing shot

when they crash through!

Crash through?

They're going to take
the blockade.

There are people there.

AMANDA:
Yes, I know.

War is bad,
but what we're doing here.

It's forever!

(Groans)

(Chuckles)

Man, fuck Canada.

And fuck Québec.

(Exhales)

HASSAN:
Sorry ma'am,
we can't let you through.

SAUVÉ:
We're under strict orders.

I know they're taking
the blockade

and I need to get back there.

-Now.
-It's protocol at this point.

It's for your safety.

My safety?

You don't want to be here
when this goes down.

(Sighs)

HASSAN:
Miss...

Turn around, and go home!

My sister is my home.

(Clears throat)

Bonjour.

Hi.

We would be honoured if um...

If you let us join you.

Canadian Armed Forces
and force armées québécoises

and yeah,
we would love to stand with you.

Altogether.

Is it okay?
Is that done?

(Laughs)

Look, you have an army
marching on you.

You don't have near enough
the men to hold this blockade.

You know, woman to woman,

I just wanted to come here
to appeal...

We don't need your fucking help.

This is our fucking blockade.

Soldiers have been
fucking us around

for hundred of years.

We've been here forever.

We will stand forever.

Without you, now get the fuck
away from my blockade.

HASSAN:
Look, I made my decision.

I'm going to stand between you
and those guys okay?

You can fucking stand anywhere
you want,

but not in my fucking blockade.

Now move!

Just fuck off.

Go on.

Yeah.
No.

HASSAN:
We'll stand over here then.

MEETOS:
Fuck off!

What the fuck did you just say?

Well, why don't they fucking
try living with us first?

I think she's cute.

How's my Cree?

(Meetos laughs)

(Laughing)

The little one up there
she's hunting beaver.

(Laughing)

Come on.

Oh, come on.

Dude, what about Alberta?

SINGH:
We'll leave
and join the States.

(Vehicles revving
in distance)

-HASSAN: Get ready!
-(Sighs)

(♪♪♪)

To all those watching,

the Québec and Canadian forces
approach the blockade.

I got it, I'm fine, thank you.

♪ There were nights
when the wind was so cold ♪

♪ That my body froze in bed
if I just listened to it ♪

♪ Right outside the window ♪

♪ There were days
when the sun was so cruel ♪

♪ That all the tears
turned to dust ♪

♪ And I just knew my eyes
were drying up forever ♪

♪ Forever ♪

♪ I finished crying
in the instant that you left ♪

♪ And I can't remember
where or when or how ♪

♪ And I banished every memory
you and I had ever made ♪

♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪

♪ If I kiss you like this ♪

♪ And if you whisper like that ♪

♪ It was lost long ago ♪

♪ But it's all coming back
to me ♪

♪ When you see me like this ♪

♪ And when I see you like that ♪

♪ Then we see
what we want to see ♪

♪ All coming back to me ♪

♪ The flesh and the fantasies ♪

♪ All coming back to me ♪

♪ I can barely recall ♪

♪ But it's all coming back
to me now! ♪

♪ It's all coming back
to me now ♪

(Whirring)

Ho-ho!

(Airhorn blows)

(♪♪♪)

(♪♪♪)

(♪♪♪)

(♪♪♪)