Quality Street (1937) - full transcript

COME HERE. COME HERE.

THE POSTMAN.

"AND SO THE

DAY PASSED, AND EVENING CAME."

A LETTER, MUM.

KATE CHAPTAN

HAS BOUGHT SOME CAKE.

WHOM CAN SHE BE

EXPECTING TO TEA?

WE'LL FIND OUT.

IF YOU WISH, MARY.

RESUME, FANNIE, DEAR.

"THE VILLAGE CLOCK

VERILY TOLLED THE HOUR.

"1...

"2...

"3...

"4...

5."

IT'S THAT IMPERTINENT

RECRUITING SERGEANT.

I PASSED HIM

ON THE STREET YESTERDAY.

HE CLOSED

ONE OF HIS EYES AT ME,

THEN QUICKLY OPENED IT

AGAIN.

I KNEW WHAT HE MEANT.

RESUME, FANNIE, DEAR.

"SUDDENLY,

OUT OF THE DARKNESS,

THERE EMERGED A MAN"...

"THE UNHAPPY CAPTAIN OF A

STANDING LOST IN REVELING,

"WHEN, WITHOUT PAUSING TO

ADVERTISE HER MISINTENTIONS,

"HE TOOK BOTH HER HANDS

IN HIS.

"SLOWLY HE GATHERED HER

IN HIS ARMS

AND RAINED HOT,

BURNING KISSES-"

SISTER!

MISS SUSAN,

I AM INDEED SURPRISED

YOU SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT SUCH

AN AMAZING INDELICATE TALE

FROM THE LIBRARY.

I DEEPLY REGRET,

MISS WILLOUGHBY.

OH, FANNIE...

IF YOU PLEASE.

I THANK YOU.

MISS SUSAN IS LOOKING

AT THE END.

FORGIVE MY PARTIALITY

FOR ROMANCE.

IT IS, I FEAR,

THE MARK OF AN OLD MAID.

OH, SUSAN, THAT WORD.

IT'S WHAT I AM, MARY.

AND YOU, TOO, MY DEAR.

I'M HAPPY PHOEBE

WILL NOT BE AN OLD MAID.

OH, PHOEBE.

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

WITH YOUR PERMISSION,

MISS SUSAN,

I SHALL PUT ON MY WRAPS.

YOU HAVE IT,

MARY, DEAR.

MISS SUSAN, DO YOU MEAN

THAT MR. B

HAS PROPOSED TO HER?

HENRIETTA,

I EXPECT IT HOURLY.

YOU SEEM STRANGELY

EXCITED, PHOEBE.

SUSAN, I MET

A CERTAIN INDIVIDUAL.

MR. B?

OH, MY DEAR,

YOU'RE TREMBLING.

NO. OH. OH, NO.

YOU PUT YOUR HAND

TO YOUR HEART.

DID I?

MY LOVE, HAS HE OFFERED?

SUSAN!

NOT YET.

BUT I WAS SITTING

WITH AN UNHAPPY WOMAN

WHOSE HUSBAND HAD-

HOW DO YOU DO,

MISS PHOEBE?

SUSAN, I HAVE NO WISH

TO ALARM YOU,

BUT I AM OF OPINION

THERE IS A MAN IN THE HOUSE.

A MAN?

TOBACCO SMOKE.

THE KITCHEN.

I'VE BEEN JUST

A LITTLE AFRAID OF PATTY.

PATTY, I HOPE WE MAY NOT

HURT YOUR FEELINGS, BUT-

ARE YOU IMPLICATING, MUM,

THAT I AM A FOLLOWER?

OH, NO.

SO BE IT.

PATTY, THERE IS A MAN

IN THE HOUSE.

TO THE DOOR WITH HIM.

AND IF HE REFUSES?

OH, DEAR.

IF HE REFUSES,

SEND HIM HERE TO ME.

LIONHEARTED PHOEBE.

SERGEANT, I'M WISHFUL

TO SCOLD YOU,

BUT WOULD YOU BE SO OBLIGING

AS TO STAND ON THAT PAPER

WHILE I DO IT?

WITH ALL THE PLEASURE

IN LIFE.

A SHUDDER

GOES THROUGH ME

WHEN I SEE YOU

IN THE STREETS

ENTICING THOSE

POOR YOUNG MEN.

I TELL THEM WHAT THEY'RE

WISHFUL TO HEAR, MUM.

THERE HAVE BEEN 5 OF THEM ALL THIS WEEK

LISTENING TO ME AND

SHOWING ME THEIR HEELS,

BUT BY A GRAND STROKE

OF LUCK,

I HAVE THEM AT LAST.

LUCK?

THE LUCKIEST, MUM,

FOR A GENTLEMAN OF

THIS TOWN HAS ENLISTED.

THAT GAVE THEM

THE PUSH FORWARD.

A GENTLEMAN

OF THIS TOWN IS ENLISTED?

YES.

SERGEANT, WHO?

THAT'D BE A SECRET, MUM.

BE SO OBLIGING.

THAT I CANNOT DO.

OH, BUT YOU MUST.

YOU MUST.

UM, SERGEANT, I'VE NOT

BEEN SAYING THE THINGS

I MEANT TO SAY TO YOU.

WOULD YOU PLEASE EXCUSE MY

TURNING YOU OUT OF THIS HOUSE

SOMEWHAT VIOLENTLY?

OH, BLESS YOUR HEART,

MUM, I'M USED TO IT.

I WON'T REALLY HURT YOU.

THANK YOU KINDLY.

BE GONE, SIR!

I FORGET, SIR,

I SHALL PERMIT NO FOLLOWERS IN MY HOUSE.

SHOULD I DISCOVER YOU

IN MY KITCHEN AGAIN,

I SHALL PITCH YOU OUT

NECK AND CLASP!

BE GONE!

GO.

HOW SWEET.

PHOEBE, WE COULD NOT

BUT ADMIRE YOU.

YES-I MEAN,

COULDN'T YOU?

COME, HENRIETTA.

CONGRATULATIONS,

PHOEBE.

PHOEBE, DEAR,

I WISH YOU VERY HAPPY.

MISS PHOEBE,

I GIVE YOU JOY.

SUSAN, YOU'VE BEEN TALKING

TO THEM ABOUT MR. B.

I COULDN'T HELP IT.

OH, SUSAN!

PHOEBE, WHAT IS IT?

YOU HAVE TO TELL ME.

WELL, AS YOU KNOW,

I WAS SITTING

WITH AN UNHAPPY WOMAN

WHOSE HUSBAND

WAS KILLED IN THE WAR,

AND AS I CAME OUT

OF THE COTTAGE,

HE WAS PASSING.

AND...

HE OFFERED ME

HIS ESCORT.

AT FIRST HE WAS

VERY SILENT

AS HE HAS OFTEN BEEN

OF LATE.

WE KNOW WHY.

PLEASE NOT TO SAY

THAT I KNOW WHY.

SUDDENLY, HE STOPPED

AND SWUNG HIS CANE.

YOU KNOW HOW GALLANTLY

HE SWINGS HIS CANE?

YES INDEED.

HE SAID,

"I HAVE SOMETHING

"I'M WISHFUL TO TELL YOU, MISS PHOEBE.

PERHAPS YOU CAN GUESS

WHAT IT IS."

TO SAY I COULD GUESS IS TO

WOULD HAVE BEEN UNLADYLIKE.

I SAID, "PLEASE

NOT TO TELL ME

IN THE PUBLIC

THOROUGHFARE,"

TO WHICH HE

INSTANTLY REPLIED,

"THEN I SHALL CALL AND

TELL YOU THIS AFTERNOON."

PHOEBE.

SUSAN, TO THINK THAT

IT HAS ALL HAPPENED

IN A SINGLE YEAR.

SUCH A GENTILE COMPETENCY

AS HE CAN OFFER.

A PHYSICIAN.

AND SO DASHING.

AND, SUSAN,

HOW AMUSING HE IS.

YES, ISN'T HE?

THE DAY HE FIRST

DRANK TEA IN THIS HOUSE.

HE SMOKED HIS PIPE

IN THIS ROOM.

SMOKING IS INDEED

A DREADFUL HABIT.

BUT THERE'S

- THERE'S SOMETHING SO DASHING ABOUT IT.

PHOEBE, I HAVE

A WEDDING GIFT FOR YOU.

SUSAN, NOT YET.

IT'S BEEN READY

FOR A LONG TIME.

I MEANT IT FOR MYSELF.

IT WAS YEARS AGO.

I HAD HOPED THAT HE-

HIS NAME WAS WILLIAM.

BUT I'M AFRAID I WAS TOO

UNATTRACTIVE, MY LOVE.

SWEETEST, DEAREST.

HE WAS A NAVAL OFFICER.

BUT SOMETHING HAPPENED-

A MISS CECILY PEMBELTON.

AND THEY'RE

QUITE BIG BOYS NOW.

SUSAN, WHAT IS IT?

A WEDDING GOWN,

MY DEAR.

EVEN PLAYING WITH IT...

WE CAN'T HELP IT, PHOEBE.

WHEN WE ARE YOUNG,

WE HAVE ROMANTIC IDEAS

JUST AS IF

WE WERE PRETTY.

LONG BEFORE IT WAS FINISHED,

I KNEW HE WOULD NOT OFFER...

BUT I FINISHED IT.

AND THEN I PUT IT AWAY.

BUT OF LATE, I'VE TAKEN

IT OUT, ALTERED IT.

SUSAN,

I COULDN'T WEAR IT.

OH, HOW SWEET.

HOW BEAUTIFUL.

YOU WILL WEAR IT,

MY LOVE, WON'T YOU?

THE ROAST BEEF

OF OLD ENGLAND

AND ALL THE OLD

ENGLISH ROAST BEEF

IT IS HE.

THAT KNOCK.

SO DASHING.

SO IMPERIOUS.

SUSAN, I THINK

HE KISSED ME ONCE.

YOU THINK?

I KNOW HE DID.

THAT EVENING

A WEEK AGO

WHEN HE WAS SQUIRING ME

HOME FROM THE CONCERT.

IT WAS RAINING,

AND MY FACE WAS WET.

HE SAID THAT WAS WHY

HE DID IT.

BECAUSE YOUR FACE WAS WET?

DOESN'T SEEM A

SUFFICIENT EXCUSE NOW.

OH, PHOEBE,

BEFORE HE OFFERED.

I FEAR ME IT WAS

MOST UNLADYLIKE.

DR. BROWN!

MISS SUSAN.

HOW DO YOU DO, MA'AM?

MISS PHOEBE, THOUGHT

WE MET TODAY ALREADY,

I INSIST ON SHAKING

HANDS WITH YOU AGAIN.

ALWAYS SO DASHING.

WILL YOU TAKE TEA,

SIR?

THANK YOU.

HOW MANY LUMPS,

SIR, 2?

5, IF I MAY.

UM...

MAY I SIT ON THIS CHAIR, MISS PHOEBE?

I KNOW MISS SUSAN LIKES

ME TO BREAK HER CHAIRS.

INDEED I DO NOT,

SIR.

PHOEBE, HOW STRANGE

THAT HE SHOULD THINK SO.

HOW YOU SEE THROUGH ME, MISS PHOEBE.

SO YOU THINK ME DASHING, MISS SUSAN?

AM I DASHING,

MISS PHOEBE?

A LITTLE, I THINK.

I HAVE SOMETHING

TO TELL YOU TODAY

THAT I THINK IS

RATHER DASHING.

BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING, MA'AM,

BEFORE YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS?

AYE. INDEED, SIR.

TO BE SURE.

I KNOW WHAT IT IS,

MR. BROWN.

SUSAN.

I MEAN, I DO NOT KNOW.

I MEAN... I CAN GUESS.

OH, WHY DON'T YOU STROLL

IN THE GARDEN?

SHALL WE?

YES, INDEED.

YOU KNOW, MISS PHOEBE...

YES, MR. BROWN-BROWN?

TO ME YOU'LL ALWAYS BE

LIKE THIS QUIET

OLD-FASHIONED GARDEN

FULL OF THE FLOWERS

I LOVE BEST

BECAUSE I'VE KNOWN THEM

LONGEST:

THE DAISY THAT STANDS

FOR INNOCENCE,

THE HYACINTH

FOR CONSTANCY,

THE MODEST VIOLET...

AND THE ROSE.

IT'S A PRETTY SPEECH,

SIR.

AND FROM MY HEART...

MISS SUSAN'S ANTICS JUST NOW

ARE MOST UNEXPECTED.

HOW COULD SHE KNOW

MY SECRET?

WELL...

YOU MEAN

YOU'D FORESEEN IT, TOO?

SIR, YOU MUSTN'T

ASK THAT.

IN ANY CASE,

I THINK IT WAS YOU

WHO FIRST PUT IT

IN MY MIND.

OH, I HOPE NOT.

YOUR EYES FLASHED EVERY

TIME THE WAR WAS MENTIONED.

MR. BROWN...

WHAT IS IT THAT

YOU HAVE TO TELL US?

THAT I'VE ENLISTED,

MISS PHOEBE.

DID YOU SURMISE

IT WAS SOMETHING ELSE?

GOING TO THE WAR,

MR. BROWN?

IS IT A JEST?

IT WOULD BE

A SORRY JEST, MA'AM.

I THOUGHT YOU KNEW.

I CONCLUDED THE RECRUITING

SERGEANT HAD TALKED.

RECRUITING SERGEANT?

I SEE.

IN THESE STIRRING TIMES,

A MAN CAN'T STAY

AT HOME.

YESTERDAY I FOUND

THERE WERE 5 WAVERERS.

I ASKED THEM WOULD THEY

JOINED THE COLORS IF I DID,

AND THEY ASSENTED.

MISS PHOEBE, IT'S NOT ONE

MAN I GIVE TO THE KING,

BUT 6.

I THINK YOU'VE DONE

BRAVELY, MR. BROWN.

WE LEAVE IMMEDIATELY FOR

THE PETERBOROUGH BARRACKS.

SO THIS IS GOOD-BYE.

I SHALL PRAY THAT YOU MAY

BE PRESERVED IN BATTLE,

MR. BROWN.

WILL YOU AND MISS SUSAN

WRITE TO ME

IF AN OCCASION OFFERS?

IF YOU WISH IT.

WITH ALL THE STIRRING NEWS

OF DEAR QUALITY STREET.

IT SEEMS STIRRING TO US.

IT MUST HAVE BEEN

MERELY LAUGHABLE TO YOU.

I'VE MADE FRIENDS HERE-

2 VERY SWEET LADIES.

AND DID I AMUSE YOU ALSO?

ENORMOUSLY.

THOSE OTHER LADIES

WERE ALWAYS SCOLDING,

AND YOUR YOUTHFULNESS

SHOCKED THEM.

I BELIEVE THEY THOUGHT

YOU DASHING.

I SOMETIMES FEEL THAT I

WAS PERHAPS TOO DASHING.

TELL ME, IS IT-

SUSAN.

YOU SEEM SO CALM,

PHOEBE.

SUSAN, HE IS A GENTLEMAN

WHO HAS ENLISTED,

AND HE CAME TO TELL US

THAT AND SAY GOOD-BYE.

GOING AWAY?

YES, DEAR.

WELL, AM I NOT

THE IDEAL RECRUIT, MA'AM?

A MAN WITHOUT A WIFE,

A MOTHER, OR A SWEETHEART.

NO SWEETHEART?

HAVE YOU ONE FOR ME,

MISS SUSAN?

SUSAN, WE SHALL

HAVE TO TELL HIM NOW.

YOU WILL LAUGH, SIR,

AND SAY THAT IT IS JUST

LIKE QUALITY STREET.

WELL, INDEED,

SINCE I MET YOU TODAY

AND YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU

HAD SOMETHING TO COMMUNICATE,

WE'VE BEEN PUZZLING

AS TO WHAT IT COULD BE,

AND WE CONCLUDED THAT YOU

WERE GOING TO BE... MARRIED.

OH, WAS THAT IT?

SO LIKE WOMEN, YOU KNOW.

WE THOUGHT PERHAPS

WE KNEW HER.

WE WERE EVEN DISCUSSING WHAT

WE SHOULD WEAR AT THE WEDDING.

WELL, I WONDER WHO'D

HAVE ME, MISS SUSAN.

I MUST LEAVE NOW.

GOD BLESS YOU BOTH.

YOU ARE GOING?

NO MORE MUD ON YOUR CARPETS, MISS SUSAN.

NO MORE BREAKING

YOUR CHAIRS.

A GOOD RIDDANCE.

MISS PHOEBE,

A LAST LOOK

AT THE GARDEN.

GOOD-BYE.

A MISUNDERSTANDING.

JUST A MISTAKE.

WE CAN LET IT DOWN.

OTHER GENTLEMEN HAVE BEEN

ATTRACTED BY YOU, PHOEBE.

I DIDN'T WANT THEM.

THEY WILL COME AGAIN.

AND OTHERS.

NO.

NEVER SPEAK OF THAT

TO ME ANYMORE.

I LET HIM KISS ME.

YOU COULD NOT PREVENT HIM.

YES, I COULD.

I KNOW I COULD NOW.

I WANTED HIM TO DO IT.

OH, NEVER SPEAK TO ME

OF OTHERS AFTER THAT.

PERHAPS HE SAW

I WANTED HIM TO DO IT

AND DID IT TO PLEASE ME.

BUT I MEANT IT.

INDEED I DID,

AND I GAVE IT TO HIM

WILL ALL MY LOVE.

SISTER, I COULD BEAR

ALL THE REST...

BUT I'VE BEEN

UNLADYLIKE.

LEFT!

LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT!

LEFT!

LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT!

DON'T BREAK

YOUR MOTHER'S HEART,

AND YOU WON'T BREAK MINE!

PHOEBE.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

THAT WILL DO.

YOU MAY BE SEATED.

PHOEBE, HOW MUCH

ARE 14 AND 17?

31.

THANK YOU.

HOW CLEVER YOU ARE.

MASTER DOUGLAS, RISE.

NOT DOUGLAS MAJOR,

DOUGLAS MINOR.

HOW MUCH ARE 14 AND 17?

31.

COME ON!

COME ON!

PERHAPS HE REMAINS

IN LONDON.

COME, CHILDREN.

CHILDREN. CHILDREN, YOU WILL

ALL RETURN TO YOUR DESKS,

IF YOU PLEASE.

GO ON. GO.

PHOEBE, IF A HERRING AND

A HALF COSTS 3 HALFPENCE,

HOW MANY FOR 11 PENCE?

11.

WILLIAM SMITH SAYS IT'S 15,

AND HE'S SUCH A BIG BOY.

DO YOU THINK

I OUGHT TO CONTRADICT HIM?

MAY I SUGGEST

THERE ARE DIFFERENCES

OF OPINION ABOUT IT?

ONE CAN'T BE REALLY SURE,

PHOEBE.

IT IS 11.

I ONCE WORKED IT OUT

WITH REAL HERRINGS.

SUSAN, WE MUSTN'T LET THE BIG BOYS KNOW

THAT WE'RE AFRAID

OF THEM.

TO AWE THEM,

STAMP WITH THE FOOT,

SPEAK IN

A FEROCIOUS VOICE,

AND LOOK THEM UNFLINCHINGLY IN THE FACE.

WILLIAM SMITH,

PLEASE RISE.

PHOEBE, WILLIAM SMITH

PUT HIS TONGUE OUT AT ME.

CHILDREN,

YOU ARE DISMISSED.

PHOEBE!

HE'S MUCH TOO BIG.

LET IT PASS.

AND BE A STUMBLING BLOCK IN

THE WAY OF TRUE EDUCATION?

SUSAN, STAND ASIDE.

PATTY.

DR. BROWN.

IT'S DR. BROWN.

CAPTAIN BROWN.

REPORTS HIMSELF

AT HOME AGAIN.

YOU CALL THIS HOME?

MISS SUSAN, I'M

DELIGHTED TO FIND

SO LITTLE CHANGE

IN YOU.

AND MISS PHOEBE, WHERE'S

MISS PHOEBE OF THE RINGLETS?

PHOEBE OF THE RINGLETS?

OH, CAPTAIN BROWN, YOU

DID NOT EXPECT TO SEE HER.

SHE'S NOT HERE?

THAT SPOILS

MY HOMECOMING.

PHOEBE, DID YOU SEE

WHO IT IS?

SUSAN, I'VE LOST

ALL MY LOOKS.

A YOUNG REPROBATE,

MA'AM,

BUT I DEPOSITED HIM

ON THE STREET.

WHY, MISS PHOEBE.

IT'S YOU.

YES.

I'VE, UM,

CHANGED VERY MUCH.

I HAVE NOT WORN WELL,

CAPTAIN BROWN.

WE'RE BOTH OLDER,

MISS PHOEBE.

YES.

I'M DISMISSING

THE CHILDREN.

GENTLEMEN, SALUTE,

LADIES, CURTSY

TO THE BRAVE

CAPTAIN BROWN.

A TERRIBLE ORDEAL,

MA'AM.

MISS PHOEBE, WHY DIDN'T

YOU SAY IN YOUR LETTERS

YOU HAD SUCH A YOUNG BLACKGUARD

AS THAT TO TERRIFY YOU?

WELL, HE IS THE ONLY ONE.

MOST OF THEM

ARE DEAR CHILDREN

AND THIS IS THE LAST DAY

OF THE TERM.

THAT'S FORTUNATE. YOU LOOK SO

- SO TIRED.

OH, I HAVE

A HEADACHE TODAY.

I WAS IN HOPES

YOU AND MISS SUSAN

WOULD BE GOING

TO THE BALL.

I BROUGHT CARDS FOR

YOU TO MAKE SURE.

BUT-

NOW YOU SAY

MY DANCING DAYS ARE DONE?

OH, NO.

YOU WILL FIND MANY

CHARMING PARTNERS.

I WISH YOU A HAPPY

TIME AT THE BALL.

WELL, I'LL SEE

YOU ALL AGAIN SOON.

THE-THE DASHING MR.

BROWN DROPPED IN AS BEFORE

TO HAVE TEA WITH MISS

SUSAN AND MISS PHOEBE.

MISS PHOEBE.

PHOEBE OF THE RINGLETS?

SHE-

SHE-

SHE DOESN'T-

WHAT A SHAME IT IS,

MISS SUSAN.

YES, IT IS A SHAME.

A BRAVE CAPTAIN BROWN.

GOOD AFTERNOON,

MISS SUSAN.

TELL ME,

WAS WATERLOO FUN?

FUN, MA'AM?

NOT FOR NAPOLEON.

LA, SIR.

HOW WITTY YOU ARE.

LA, CAPTAIN BROWN,

HOW BRAVE YOU ARE.

HE'LL BE DANCING

WITH CHARLOTTE PERRET.

MISS CHARLOTTE, YOU ARE

SELFISH AND SILLY,

BUT YOU ARE SWEET 18.

SUSAN, I HATE HIM.

OH, SUSAN,

I COULD HATE HIM IF-

MY DEAR.

HE THOUGHT I WAS OLD

BECAUSE I'M WEARY.

AND HOW'S

MISS PHOEBE?

ALL YOUR CHARM IS GONE

IF YOU HAVE THE HEADACHE

AND YOUR EYES

ARE TIRED.

BUT HE SHOULDN'T

HAVE FORGOTTEN.

I'M ONLY 30.

SUSAN, WHY DOES 30 SEEM

SO MUCH MORE THAN 29?

HE WOULD NOT DANCE

WITH HER.

CHARLOTTE PERRET

IS A SILLY GOOSE.

'TIS WHAT GENTLEMEN

PREFER. IF THERE WERE

A SUFFICIENT NUMBER OF

GEESE TO GO AROUND, SUSAN,

NO WOMAN OF SENSE WOULD

EVER GET A HUSBAND.

IF TO BE LADY-LIKE-

I'M TIRED OF BEING

LADY-LIKE.

I WANT TO BE BRIGHT AND

THOUGHTLESS AND THE MERRY.

I WANT TO BE PETTED

AND ADMIRED.

ARE THESE 4 WALLS

THE WORLD, SUSAN,

OR IS THERE ANYTHING

BEYOND THEM?

10 YEARS AGO, I WENT

TO BED A YOUNG GIRL,

AND I AWOKE WITH THIS CAP

ON MY HEAD. IT'S NOT FAIR.

PHOEBE, PHOEBE, YOU HAVE

ALWAYS BEEN SO PATIENT.

OH, NO. NOT ALWAYS.

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW

I'VE REBELLED AT TIMES.

SUSAN, I HAVE A PICTURE

OF MYSELF AS I USED TO BE.

I SOMETIMES

LOOK AT IT.

I SOMETIMES KISS IT

AND SAY,

"POOR GIRL, THEY'VE ALL

FORGOTTEN YOU, BUT I REMEMBER."

I DO NOT RECALL IT.

I KEEP IT LOCKED

AWAY IN MY ROOM.

WOULD YOU LIKE

TO SEE IT?

I SHALL BRING IT

DOWN TO YOU.

YOU STAND GAZING AT THE FOOLISH

CREATURES WHO CROWD TO A BALL.

I'M NOT, MUM. I'M GAZING

AT MY SWEETHEART.

YOUR SWEETHEART?

I DIDN'T KNOW

YOU HAD ONE.

NOT EVER, AYE, MUM,

AS YET.

BUT AT ANY MOMENT, HE

MAY TURN THE CORNER.

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR HIM

TO OBLIGE THESE 15 YEARS.

15 YEARS

AND YOU'RE STILL HOPEFUL?

THERE'S NOT A MORE HOPEFUL WOMAN

IN ALL THE KINGS' DOMINIONS.

YOU ARE SO MUCH OLDER

THAN MISS PHOEBE.

YES, MA'AM. I HAVE THE

ADVANTAGE BY 10 YEARS.

IT WOULD BE IDLE TO PRETEND

THAT YOU ARE ESPECIALLY HANDSOME.

WELL, THAT MAY BE, MUM,

BUT MY FACE IS MY OWN.

THE MORE I SEE IT IN THE

GLASS, THE MORE IT PLEASES ME.

I NEVER LOOK AT IT,

BUT I SAY TO MYSELF,

"WHO'S TO BE

THE LUCKY MAN?"

'TIS WONDERFUL.

OH, THIS WILL BE A GREAT

YEAR FOR FEMALES, MUM.

THINK HOW MANY OF

THE MEN WHO MARCH

STRUTTING OFF TO THE WAR

TO HAVE COME BACK LIMPING.

WHO'S TO TAKE OFF

THEIR WOODEN LEGS

EVERY EVENING, MISS

SUSAN? YOU, MUM OR ME?

PATTY!

OR MISS PHOEBE, MUM?

THE PRETTY THING THAT

SHE WAS, MISS SUSAN.

DO YOU REMEMBER, PATTY?

AM I AS CHANGED

AS HE SAYS I AM?

YOU ALMOST FRIGHTEN ME.

ONE DANCE FOR

PHOEBE OF THE RINGLETS

THEN I SHALL PUT HER

AWAY IN A BOX

AND NEVER

LOOK AT HER AGAIN.

WILL YOU CELEBRATE

WATERLOO, MUM?

MISS PHOEBE!

NOT MISS PHOEBE, PATTY.

I'M NOT MYSELF TONIGHT.

I AM, LET ME SEE,

I AM MY NIECE.

MISS SUSAN, IT'S CAPTAIN

BROWN. HE'S AT THE DOOR.

PATTY, WAIT!

STOP!

IT'S CAPTAIN BROWN.

I VENTURED TO COME BACK

BECAUSE I-

I BEG YOUR PARDON, MA'AM. I THOUGHT

IT WAS MISS SUSAN OR MISS PHOEBE.

'TIS MY MISTRESS'

NIECE, SIR.

SHE'S ON A VISIT

HERE.

OH, PATTY, I OBTAINED THIS AT THE

APOTHECARY FOR MISS PHOEBE'S HEADACHE.

IT SHOULD BE TAKEN

AT ONCE.

MISS PHOEBE'S

LIED DOWN, SIR.

PATTY, TAKE IT

TO AUNT PHOEBE AT ONCE.

YES, MA'AM.

PERHAPS I MAY VENTURE TO

INTRODUCE MYSELF, MISS, UH?

MISS, UH, LIVVY,

SIR.

I'M CAPTAIN BROWN,

MISS LIVVY.

AN OLD FRIEND

OF BOTH YOUR AUNTS.

OH! I HEARD THEM SPEAK

OF A DASHING MR. BROWN,

BUT I THINK IT

CANNOT BE THE SAME.

WHY NOT, MA'AM?

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

I WAS SURE

YOU MUST BE RELATED.

FOR A MOMENT,

THE LIKENESS-

LA, SIR. YOU MEAN

I'M LIKE AUNT PHOEBE?

EVERYONE SAYS SO, AND

INDEED, THERE'S NO COMPLIMENT.

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN

A COMPLIMENT ONCE.

MISS LIVVY, ARE YOU

GOING TO THE BALL?

ALAS, SIR,

I HAVE NO CARD.

I HAVE 2 CARDS

FOR YOUR AUNTS.

AND SINCE MISS PHOEBE

HAS A HEADACHE,

MISS SUSAN MUST

TAKE YOU TO THE BALL.

OH, DO YOU THINK, SIR,

THAT SOME HANDSOME GENTLEMAN

MIGHT BE PARTIAL

TO ME AT THE BALL?

IF THAT'S YOUR WISH.

I SHOULD LOVE, SIR,

TO INSPIRE FRENZY

IN THE REST OF THE MALE.

OH, I DARE NOT GO.

I CANNOT GO.

LOOK, MISS LIVVY.

OH, MISS SUSAN.

I VENTURED TO INTRODUCE

MYSELF TO YOUR CHARMING NIECE.

AUNT SUSAN, DO NOT BE

ANGRY WITH YOUR LIVVY.

YOUR LIVVY, AUNT SUSAN.

THIS GENTLEMAN SAYS THAT

HE IS THE DASHING MR. BROWN,

AND THAT HE HAS CARDS FOR US

TO GO TO THE BALL.

OF COURSE, WE CANNOT GO.

WE DARE NOT GO.

OH, AUNTIE,

HASTEN INTO YOUR BOMBAZINE.

PHOEBE!

AUNT PHOEBE

WANTS ME TO GO.

IF I SAY SHE DOES,

YOU KNOW SHE DOES.

I SHALL SEE TO IT,

MISS SUSAN,

THAT YOUR NIECE

HAS A CHARMING EVENING.

HE MEANS THAT HE WILL

FIND ME CHARMING PARTNERS.

NO, MA'AM. I MEAN

I'LL BE YOUR PARTNER.

AUNT SUSAN,

HE STILL DANCES.

STILL, MA'AM?

PRAY NOT TO SCOWL.

I COULD NOT AVOID

NOTICING THEM.

NOTICING WHAT,

MISS LIVVY?

THE, UM, GRAY HAIRS, SIR.

COME ON, SUSAN.

THINK, MY DEAR, THINK.

WE DARE NOT!

NO, NO, WE DARE NOT.

WE CANNOT GO.

INDEED, MA'AM.

IT IS IMPOSSIBLE.

WHERE'S MY CLOAK?

'TIS BUT A NEW VEIL, SIR.

THERE'S NO CAUSE FOR ALARM.

MARY, SURELY IT ISN'T

THE GALLANT CAPTAIN BROWN.

OH, HOW DO YOU DO,

MY DEAR LADIES.

WELCOME BACK, SIR.

WE'RE VERY HAPPY

TO SEE YOU AGAIN, SIR.

AND HAVE YOU SEEN

MISS PHOEBE?

I'VE HAD THE HONOR.

I REGRET TO SAY

THAT MISS PHOEBE

IS LYING DOWN NOW

WITH A HEADACHE.

A HEADACHE?

HMM. MORE LIKELY

HEARTACHE.

YOU DON'T FAVOR THE BALL

TONIGHT?

WE NEVER ATTEND

THEM, SIR.

WE SHOULD PROBABLY SPEND

THE EVENING HERE

WITH MISS SUSAN

AT THE CARD TABLE.

MISS SUSAN'S GOING

TO THE BALL WITH ME.

OH, I HOPE

THERE'S NO IMPROPRIETY.

MISS LIVVY

WILL ACCOMPANY HER.

MISS LIVVY?

THEIR VERY CHARMING

NIECE.

NIECE?

THEY HAD NOT TOLD US

THAT THEY HAD A VISITOR.

WE'RE GOING TO THE BALL.

OH, I SEE.

I, UH, CANNOT REMEMBER,

SUSAN,

THAT YOUR ESTIMABLE

BROTHER HAD A DAUGHTER.

I THOUGHT, UH,

ALL THE 3 WERE SONS.

3 SONS

AND A DAUGHTER.

WELL, SURELY YOU REMEMBER

LITTLE LIVVY, MARY?

NO, SUSAN, I DO NOT.

OH, WELL, I MUST GO.

AH, HERE'S MISS LIVVY.

THIS IS MY NIECE

MISS LIVVY.

MISS WILLOUGHBY, MISS HENRIETTA,

AND MISS BETTY WILLOUGHBY.

3 SONS AND A DAUGHTER.

MAY I ASK, MISS LIVVY, HOW

MANY BROTHERS DO YOU HAVE?

2!

I THANK YOU.

EXCLUDING

THE UNHAPPY THOMAS.

WE NEVER MENTION

HIM.

LADIES,

PARDON MY IMPATIENCE.

WHAT HAS THOMAS DONE?

PHOEBE,

IT'S YOUNG BLADES.

OH, MY HEART.

LET US ESCAPE AT ONCE.

SUSAN, DON'T BUDGE.

MISS SUSAN,

ONCE YOUR PUPIL

AND NOW YOUR MOST

OBEDIENT, MA'AM.

MR. BLADES, I BELIEVE.

I HARDLY EXPECTED

TO FIND YOU AT THE BALL.

I SCARCELY EXPECTED IT

MYSELF.

I DO NOT SEE

MISS PHOEBE WITH YOU.

DON'T YOU?

AUNTIE, WHY DON'T YOU

PRESENT YOUR OLD PUPIL?

ENSIGN BLADES,

MY NIECE MISS OLIVIA CROSSEL.

LIEUTENANT SWITZER.

BLAKE, 50th AT ARMS.

DAVIS WITH THE 109th.

OH!

UH, MAY I HAVE THE HONOR?

OH, AUNTIE, I SHOULD SO

ENJOY DANCING WITH AN ENSIGN.

HOW MUCH MORE THAN

DANCING WITH A LIEUTENANT?

WHY DON'T YOU TWO OLD FRIENDS

PLAY A HAND OF CRIBBAGE?

AND WE'LL GO OVER

TO MAKE MERRY

AND WHEN WE'RE THERE,

WE'LL DRINK THE SHERRY

WHEN TOGETHER

WE'RE SO GAY

ABOARD THE BOAT,

ACROSS THE PRAIRIE

WHEN TOGETHER WE'RE SO...

BEAUTIFULLY DONE!

AND WERE YOU REALLY

FRIGHTENED BY THEM, BLADES?

FRIGHTENED BY THEM?

OH, HOW BRAVE YOU ARE.

WELL, WE MARCHED ON

THAT NIGHT-

AND THEN?

YOURS?

NO, UH-

MINE.

OH.

I MISSED YOU...

ON PURPOSE.

YOU?

I MISSED YOU.

ON PURPOSE?

CHARMING,

LIEUTENANT SWITZER.

THE, UH, FIELD

IS YOURS, SIR.

RAIN! WE'LL GET WET!

YOU'RE AN AMAZINGLY

PRETTY GIRL, MA'AM,

BUT A SHOCKING FLIRT.

LA.

I SUPPOSE IT

AMUSES YOU

TO SEE THEM GO

DOWN BEFORE YOU.

BUT I KNOW YOU HAVE

A KIND HEART.

THANK YOU, SIR.

YOU DON'T SEEM TO CARE WITH

WHOSE AFFECTIONS YOU TRIFLE.

LA, SO, WHY SHOULD I CARE?

I'LL TELL YOU WHY.

I MUST GO HOME.

IN THE RAIN?

YES. YES. I JUST REMEMBERED

AUNT PHOEBE IS ILL.

ILL? I THOUGHT HER

IMPROVED.

NO, SHE'S WORSE.

IT'S NOT SO BAD THAT YOU

MUST RISK YOUR OWN HEALTH.

OH, YES.

YES, INDEED.

SHE'S-SHE'S

DESPERATELY ILL.

GOOD HEAVENS! WHY WASN'T HER DOCTOR

TOLD? I SHALL GO TO HER AT ONCE.

NO.

YOU STAY HERE.

YES, SIR.

I HOPE, MISS SUSAN, TO EVENTUALLY

MEET YOUR CHARMING NIECE.

YES. YES. IT'S, UH,

UNFORTUNATE THAT YOU MISSED HER.

SO AWFUL.

HOW WONDERFUL TO BE AS

SOUGHT AFTER AS MISS LIVVY.

AH, THE INCOMPARABLE

MISS LIVVY.

AH, THE INVISIBLE MISS LIVVY

IS MORE LIKELY TO BE HERE

AND YET

NOT TO BE HERE.

PERHAPS NEXT TIME MISS

LIVVY WILL BE AT HOME.

PERHAPS.

AH-CHOO!

AH-CHOO!

IT'S TOO MUCH FOR ME,

PHOEBE.

I'M SURE OUR FRIENDS

SUSPECT.

HURRY, MY NIGHTGOWN,

HE'LL BE HERE IN A MOMENT.

OH, PHOEBE,

FOR MY SAKE,

LET US SEND MISS LIVVY BACK TO

HER FATHER WHILE THERE IS YET TIME.

HURRY, SUSAN, HURRY.

FOREGO THE BALL TONIGHT.

I WILL.

I PROMISE I WILL.

SHE'S UPSTAIRS.

MISS PHOEBE!

MISS SUSAN!

IT'S CAPTAIN BROWN.

HURRY, SUSAN.

RECEIVE HIM!

OH, IT'S SO TERRIFYING.

IF THEY SHOULD FIND OUT,

WE DARE NOT OPEN THE SCHOOL.

WHAT A SCANDAL

IT WOULD BE.

WE CAN STARVE.

CAPTAIN BROWN HAS COME

TO SEE YOU, MY DEAR.

OH, I'M SORRY.

OH!

I'M SORRY TO FIND

YOU NO BETTER.

HAVE YOU A HEADACHE?

NO.

HAVE YOU HAD THE CHILL?

NO.

WHAT DO YOU THINK

CAUSES THIS WEAKNESS?

A FEVER.

AH-CHOO.

A COLD!

IT'S MISS LIVVY.

MISS LIVVY'S VISIT HAS

TURNED OUR LIVES UPSIDE-DOWN.

NOT ONLY YOURS, MA'AM.

WHAT MEAN YOU, SIR?

OH, NO MATTER. I'LL HAVE THE

APOTHECARY SEND YOU A TONIC.

AND WOULD YOU APOLOGIZE

TO MISS LIVVY

FOR MY LEAVING HER ALONE

THIS AFTERNOON?

IF WHAT SHE TELLS US

IS THE TRUTH, SIR,

SHE IS INVARIABLY

WELL ATTENDED.

I THINK SHE CAN

SPARE YOU, SIR.

INDEED.

HOW THEY SPOIL HER.

I'M AFRAID THEY DO.

DO YOU THINK, UH,

SHE IS PERHAPS TOO BRAZEN?

SHE'S YOUNG.

YES. YES, SHE IS.

WELL, HOWEVER THAT MAY BE,

I SHALL BE HERE AT 9:00

TO TAKE HER TO THE BALL.

BUT MISS LIVVY GOES

NOT TO THE BALL.

I WAS NOT AWARE THERE WAS

ANY CHANGE IN PLAN.

NOR IS THERE, SUSAN?

MISS LIVVY

WILL ACCOMPANY YOU, SIR.

YOU'RE MOST OBEDIENT,

MA'AM.

I HOPE TO FIND YOU

MUCH IMPROVED WHEN I RETURN.

OH, VALENTINE BROWN,

HOW COULD YOU?

PHOEBE!

TOO WEARY OF PHOEBE.

PATIENT, LADY-LIKE PHOEBE.

AND BECOME ENAMORED

IN A NIGHT

OF THAT HORRID,

FORWARD, FLIRTING,

HEARTLESS, HATEFUL,

LITTLE TOAD OF A LIVVY.

WELL, PHOEBE, YOU PROMISED

ME NOT TO GO TO THE BALL.

MISS LIVVY

MUST GO TO THE BALL.

THERE'S BEEN A DECLARATION

IN HIS EYES ALL THIS WEEK

AND TONIGHT I MEAN

TO BRING HIM TO IT.

AND WHEN HE CRIES, "ADORABLE,

MISS LIVVY, BE MINE!"

I INTEND TO ANSWER

WITH A LA, CAPTAIN BROWN,

HOW RIDICULOUS YOU ARE.

YOU'RE MUCH TOO OLD. HA!

PHOEBE, HOW CAN YOU

BE SO CRUEL?

HOW DO I LOOK?

PLEASE TO REMEMBER, WE'RE NOT

BENT ON PLEASURE, HENRIETTA.

OUR ATTENDANCE AT THE BALL

IS THE PERFORMANCE OF A DUTY.

A DUTY TO QUALITY STREET.

PERHAPS A GOOD LOOK AT THE GAY

MISS LIVVY WILL SOLVE THIS MYSTERY.

BUT, MARY, DO WE DARE?

WE DO.

DEAR MISS LIVVY,

THE MOON IS SO LOVELY,

WILL YOU STROLL

AND LET ME SHOW YOU?

SIR! BUT, MA'AM, IS

NOT THE NEXT DANCE MINE?

OH, BUT I'M SO FOND

OF THE DEAR MOON.

I'LL BE VERY PLEASED

TO POINT IT OUT TO YOU.

BUT, SIR,

THIS IS UNENDURABLE.

MAY I SOLICIT

OF YOU, MISS LIVVY?

IS CAPTAIN BROWN

YOUR GUARDIAN?

ARE YOU AFFIANCED TO HIM?

OH, SIR, YOU MUST

NOT ASK THAT OF ME.

BY WHAT RIGHT, SIR,

DO YOU INTERFERE?

BY A RIGHT I HOPE TO

MAKE CLEAR TO MISS LIVVY.

AS SOON AS WE'RE ALONE.

GLORY BE, IF IT AIN'T

THE RECRUITING SERGEANT.

BLESS MY SOUL. CAN IT REALLY BE

- NOW, DON'T TELL ME.

NOW, DON'T TELL ME. I'LL

THINK OF THE NAME IN A MOMENT.

HA HA, I KNOW IT STARTS

WITH A "P".

YES, NOW, UH,

WOULD IT BE-

DO YOU KNOW MISS PHOEBE?

PHOEBE!

THAT'S RIGHT, PHOEBE!

WELL, HOW ARE YOU?

COMING SO FAR, MON PETITE.

I'M NOT MISS PHOEBE. I'M LOOKING

FOR MISS PHOEBE, MY MISTRESS.

OH, WELL, LET ME TELL

YOU THIS, MON PETITE,

YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE

WITHOUT A CARD YOU KNOW.

THEN YOU GO ON IN THERE

AND TELL MISS PHOEBE

THAT THE WILLOUGHBYS

ARE ON THEIR WAY HERE.

THEY'RE COMING TO SEE

MISS LIVVY,

SO SHE'D BETTER GO HOME

AT ONCE.

WHO, MISS LIVVY?

NO, MISS PHOEBE.

THERE AIN'T NO MISS LIVVY.

YEAH, BUT YOU JUST

TOLD ME

THEY WERE COMING

TO SEE MISS LIVVY.

THEY THINK MISS LIVVY

IS MISS PHOEBE.

HOW SILLY. HOW CAN THEY

POSSIBLY THINK THAT?

BECAUSE SHE IS MISS PHOEBE.

WHO IS?

MISS OLIVIA.

OH, YEAH.

OH, HERE THEY ARE.

COME ON.

PATTY!

THE WILLOUGHBYS, MA'AM,

ARE ON THEIR WAY HERE.

THE WILLOUGHBYS!

YES, MA'AM.

SEE, MISS LIVVY.

MISS SUSAN.

I FEEL ILL. FAINT.

ENSIGN BLADES, CORDIAL, IF YOU PLEASE.

YES. YES, OF COURSE.

MISS LIVVIE...

YES, MR. BROWN.

THERE'S SOMETHING

I MUST SAY TO YOU.

REALLY?

WHAT?

OH, TH-THERE YOU ARE.

I- I-I-I FEEL ILL.

FAINT.

CAPTAIN BROWN, A CORDIAL

IF YOU PLEASE.

IMMEDIATELY, MA'AM.

THANK YOU.

OH, SUSAN, HE WAS

JUST ABOUT TO OFFER.

PHOEBE, THEY'RE HERE.

THEY'RE HERE.

WHO'S HERE?

THE WILLOUGHBYS

AND MISS HENRIETTA.

GOOD HEAVENS.

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

WE MUST LEAVE AT ONCE.

WHERE IS YOUR CLOAK?

IN THE RETIRING ROOM.

THEY'VE PROBABLY

RETURNED INDOORS.

THERE THEY ARE.

ARE YOU SURE?

OF COURSE, MARY.

'TIS LIVVIE.

IT'S THE CLOAK AND BONNET

SHE WORE TO THE FIRST BALL.

HOW ATTENTIVE

CAPTAIN BROWN IS.

DO WE DARE

INTERRUPT THEM?

WE DO.

I THINK I'VE KNOWN

THE YOUNG LADY LONG ENOUGH

TO ALLOW MYSELF

THAT LIBERTY.

PHOEBE!

YES, M-MARY.

HOW DO YOU DO?

YOUR CORDIAL,

MISS SUSAN.

OH. THANK YOU.

ANOTHER,

IF-IF YOU PLEASE.

AT ONCE, MA'AM.

MISS SUSAN?

THANK YOU.

THERE YOU ARE.

OH. GET ME ONE,

TOO.

YOU'RE MISS PHOEBE?

YES, MARY,

I AM PHOEBE.

AMAZING.

MISS PHOEBE, WE'VE

DONE YOU A CRUEL WRONG.

WE'VE NEVER REALLY

MET HER.

NEVER SEEN HER

TOGETHER WITH YOU.

SO WE WERE CONVINCED

THERE WAS NO SUCH PERSON.

AND OF COURSE WE THOUGHT

IT MUST BE YOU.

I CAN STILL SEE HER

IN THE GARDEN.

OH.

OH, YOU-YOU-YOU

MEAN, HENRIETTA,

YOU MEAN, MARY,

THAT-THAT I-

IT WAS WICKED OF US,

I KNOW,

BUT WE THOUGHT THAT YOU

AND MISS LIVVIE

WERE THE SAME PERSON.

OH, HOW COULD YOU?

OH...

OH, DO FORGIVE US,

PHOEBE, DEAR.

WE COULD NOT HELP

SUSPECTING.

WE BEG YOUR PARDON.

OH.

PHOEBE, YOU LOOK

SO PRETTY.

ARE THEY PAYING YOU

NO ATTENTIONS, MY DEAR?

ALAS, NO. THEY...

THEY THINK OF NONE,

BUT, UH, LIVVIE.

AND CAPTAIN BROWN?

HE IS INFATUATED

WITH HER.

OH, PHOEBE.

PARDON ME.

OH, CAPTAIN BROWN,

YOU LEFT MISS LIVVIE.

AH, BUT, MA'AM,

I RETURN TO HER.

THAT'S A MISTAKE, SIR.

I WAS JUST THINKING

THAT IF I WERE A GENTLEMAN,

I SHOULD PAY MY ADDRESSES TO MISS

PHOEBE MUCH RATHER THAN TO HER NIECE.

YOU EMBARRASS ME.

ME ALSO, MA'AM.

YOU SEE, I HAVE SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT

TO SAY

TO MISS LIVVIE.

OH.

IN THAT CASE, SIR,

WE SHAN'T DELAY YOU

ANY FURTHER.

THANK YOU, MA'AM.

GOOD EVENING.

GOOD EVENING, MARY.

GOOD EVENING, FANNIE.

GOOD EVENING.

SUSAN, I SHALL

CALL TOMORROW.

I DO SO WISH TO KNOW

MISS LIVVIE BETTER.

AUNTIE...

YOU REMEMBER THAT

CAPTAIN BROWN SAID

THAT HE HAD SOMETHING OF

IMPORTANCE TO SAY TO ME?

OH, INDEED.

EXCUSE ME.

YES, MR. BROWN?

MISS LIVVIE,

NO DOUBT THESE VARYING

FLIRTATIONS AMUSE YOU.

HAS IT NEVER

OCCURRED TO YOU

THAT THEY MAY

HURT OTHERS?

REALLY, SIR?

WHOM?

OH, THE BLADES AND THE LIKE

MAY NOT SUFFER TOO MUCH...

BUT ONE MAY PERHAPS.

PERHAPS I MAY WISH

TO SEE HIM SQUIRM.

FOR SHAME,

MISS LIVVIE.

I SPEAK IN THE INTERESTS

OF THE MAN

TO WHOM I HOPE

TO SEE YOU BETROTHED.

AND WHO IS

THIS HAPPY MAN?

AS TO WHO HE IS,

I HAVE NO IDEA.

NOR, I AM SURE,

HAVE YOU.

OTHERWISE YOU'D BE MORE

GUARDED IN YOUR CONDUCT.

BUT SOMEDAY,

MISS LIVVIE,

THE RIGHT MAN

WILL COME.

AND HOW WILL YOU EXPLAIN

AWAY YOUR PRESENT BEHAVIOR?

HIS FACE WOULD CHANGE

AS YOU TOLD HIM OF IT.

AND YOURS WOULD BE A FALSE

FACE UNTIL IT WAS TOLD.

I SEE.

YOU WILL SEE...

WHEN YOU KNOW

WHAT LOVE REALLY IS.

LOVE.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW

OF LOVE?

WHY, I KNOW

ALL ABOUT IT.

I'M IN LOVE,

MISS LIVVIE.

I WISH YOU HAPPY.

THE LADY WAS ONCE

VERY MUCH LIKE YOU.

NOT...

OH, NO.

YES, MISS LIVVIE,

IT'S YOUR AUNT PHOEBE

WHOM I LOVE.

YOU REALLY MEAN PHOEBE?

TIRED,

UNATTRACTIVE PHOEBE?

PHOEBE WHO WAS ONCE MORE

FASCINATING THAN YOU, MA'AM.

OH, YOU BEWITCHED ME,

YOU WHO SO RESEMBLED HER

AS SHE WAS.

BUT IT WAS ONLY FOR AN HOUR.

HOW LIKE

I THOUGHT AT FIRST,

BUT SOON IT WAS

HOW UNLIKE.

I REMEMBER I ONCE

COMPARED HER TO A GARDEN.

I'VE OFTEN

THOUGHT OF THAT.

OH, MISS LIVVIE, DO YOU

THINK THERE'S ANY HOPE FOR ME?

THERE WAS A MAN

WHO MISS PHOEBE LOVED...

BUT THAT WAS LONG AGO.

HE DIDN'T LOVE HER.

NOW, THERE WAS A FOOL.

IT WAS YOU.

YOU KISSED HER ONCE.

IT WAS RAINING,

AND HER FACE WAS WET.

YOU SAID YOU DID IT

BECAUSE HER FACE WAS WET.

I HAD QUITE FORGOTTEN.

NOW I'M LAUGHING

AT BOTH OF YOU.

PHOEBE-THAT OLD THING.

MISS LIVVIE...

HA HA.

I HATE HER

AND DESPISE HER.

IF YOU KNEW

WHAT SHE IS-

I KNOW

WHAT YOU ARE.

THAT GARDEN-

SILENCE!

YOUR GARDEN

HAS BEEN DESTROYED, SIR.

THE WEEDS HAVE ENTERED IT,

AND ALL THE FLOWERS ARE CHOKED.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I CANNOT TELL YOU.

IT IS TOO HORRIBLE.

YOU'RE TOO HORRIBLE.

ISN'T THAT IT?

YES, THAT'S IT.

WHAT IS TOO HORRIBLE?

MA'AM, I'LL LEAVE THE TELLING

OF IT TO HER IF SHE DARE.

BUT I DEVOUTLY HOPE

THOSE ARE THE LAST WORDS

I SHALL EVER ADDRESS

TO THIS LADY.

MY LOVE, MY DEAR,

WHAT TERRIBLE THING

HAS HE SAID TO YOU?

NOT-NOT TERRIBLE...

GLORIOUS!

SUSAN, 'TIS PHOEBE

HE LOVES, NOT LIVVIE.

HE LOVES ME-PHOEBE!

OHH, SUSAN,

HE LOVES ME.

OH,

LOVELY RAMBLIN' ROSES

THE GARDEN WALL ATOP

YOUR FRAGRANCE RARE

CANNOT COMPARE

TO A FRYING...

MUTTON CHOP

AHH!

FOR YOU, VIDEL.

IT MAY INVOLVE

A DETOUR,

BUT IT'S STILL

THE BEST ROUTE.

WHAT ARE YOU

TALKING ABOUT?

THE WAY TO A MAN'S HEART

IS THROUGH HIS STOMACH.

AND, TO MAKE A PERSONAL

OBSERVATION OF MY OWN,

THE WAY

TO A MAN'S STOMACH

IS THROUGH-

NOT FOR YOU.

THAT'S FOR MISS SUSAN

AND MISS PHOEBE.

YEAH, BUT YOU TOLD ME

THERE AIN'T NO MISS PHOEBE.

ONCE AND FOR ALL

AND FOR THE LAST TIME,

THERE AIN'T

NO MISS LIVVIE.

GOOD MORNING,

PHOEBE, MY LOVE.

YOU DID NOT SLEEP?

NOT A WINK.

IF YOU HAVE

SUCH REMORSE,

YOU WILL WEEP YOURSELF TO DEATH.

AFTER WHAT HE SAID

TO ME LAST NIGHT...

WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?

YOU MUST GET RID

OF LIVVIE.

THAT IS CERTAIN.

WHEN OUR FRIENDS CALL

THIS AFTERNOON,

I'LL SAY THAT

SHE'S RETURNED HOME.

YES.

GOOD MORNING, SUSAN.

YOU WILL PARDON MY INTRUSION

SO EARLY IN THE DAY,

BUT, UH, BEING AWARE OF MISS

LIVVIE'S EXTREME POPULARITY,

I THOUGHT TO CALL ON HER

BEFORE SHE WENT OUT.

OH.

POOR LIVVIE IS ILL.

YES.

ILL? HOW SUDDEN.

QUITE.

SHE WAS AWAKE

ALL NIGHT...

TREMBLINGS,

FLUTTERINGS, SPASMS.

INDEED?

THE EXCITEMENT,

UH, THE BALL.

HMM.

MAY I GO IN

AND SEE HER?

I'M AFRAID NOT.

YOU KNOW,

LIVVIE MUST BE ALMOST ASLEEP AT LAST.

THAT'S FOR MISS LIVVIE.

LIE STILL,

LIVVIE, MY LOVE.

LIE STILL.

BREAKFAST.

MISS LIVVIE'S BREAKFAST.

YOURS IS GETTING COLD,

MA'AM.

GOOD MORNING, LADIES.

I SHALL BE AT HOME

ALL DAY.

DO LET ME KNOW WHEN MISS

LIVVIE IS IMPROVED ENOUGH

TO RECEIVE ME.

WHAT'S TO BE DONE?

SHE WILL NEVER LET

LIVVIE ESCAPE.

PHOEBE, I FEEL AS IF MISS

LIVVIE REALLY EXISTED.

WE SHALL NEVER BE ABLE

TO ESTEEM OURSELVES AGAIN.

IF HE PROPOSES,

WHY NOT MARRY HIM?

IF WE CAN MAKE HIM THINK

THAT SHE'S GONE HOME,

HE NEED NEVER KNOW.

SUSAN...

YOU PAIN ME.

SHE WHO MARRIES

WITHOUT TELLING ALL,

HERS MUST EVER BE

A FALSE FACE.

THEY WERE

HIS OWN WORDS.

PATTY,

'TIS CAPTAIN BROWN.

TELL HIM I'VE GONE OUT.

GOOD MORNING, PATTY.

IS MISS PHOEBE IN?

NO, SIR.

SHE'S GONE OUT.

INTO THE GARDEN.

AHA.

MISS PHOEBE?

WHAT IS IT, SIR?

SURELY YOU'RE

NOT AFRAID OF ME?

NO.

NO.

WHY SHOULD I BE?

NO REASON

THAT I KNOW.

MISS PHOEBE, YOU TOLD MISS

LIVVIE THAT YOU LOVED ME ONCE.

YOU KEPT IT CAREFULLY HIDDEN FROM ME.

A WOMAN MUST NEVER TELL,

SIR.

YOU WENT

TO THE GREAT BATTLES.

I WAS LEFT TO FIGHT

IN A LITTLE ONE.

WOMEN HAVE A FLAG TO FLY

AS WELL AS MEN, MR. BROWN.

AND... OLD MAIDS HAVE A FLAG

AS WELL AS WOMEN.

I... TRIED

TO KEEP MINE FLYING.

I DARE NOT ASK YOU

TO LOVE,

BUT I DO ASK YOU TO PUT

YOURSELF IN MY KEEPING.

LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU.

IT CANNOT BE.

IF NOT FOR YOUR SAKE,

DO IT FOR MINE.

THEY SAY A LADY

CAN NEVER QUITE FORGET

THE MAN

WHO'S USED HER ILL.

DO IT FOR ME

BECAUSE I USED YOU ILL.

PLEASE TO SAY

NO MORE.

GOOD MORNING,

PATTY.

PATTY.

WELL,

WHERE'S MISS MARY?

SHE HAS NOT BEEN TO

SEE US FOR 5 MINUTES.

HOW DO YOU DO, SIR?

AND HOW DO YOU FIND

MISS LIVVIE TODAY, SIR?

I HAVEN'T SEEN HER, MA'AM.

INDEED?

WHY SURELY, PHOEBE,

WHEN SHE'S ILL,

THERE'S DOUBLE REASON

FOR-

ILL?

I HADN'T HEARD.

LADIES, HAVE PITY ON

A DULL MALE AND EXPLAIN.

I UNDERSTAND, SIR,

THAT THERE IS A BELIEF

THAT I KEEP MISS LIVVIE IN CONFINEMENT

BECAUSE OF YOUR PASSION FOR HER.

MY PASSION

FOR MISS LIVVIE?

WHY, I CAN'T ABIDE HER OR SHE ME.

FURTHERMORE,

I'M PROUD TO TELL YOU

THAT THIS IS THE LADY

I LOVE.

WHAT?

PHOEBE?

YES, MA'AM.

OH...

PHOEBE...

I'M SO HAPPY IT'S YOU.

OH, PHOEBE, DEAR,

I WISH YOU JOY.

AND YOU ALSO, SIR.

BUT, SUSAN, I, UH...

WELL, REALLY.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

IS IT THAT MISS LIVVIE

IS AN OBSTACLE?

MISS LIVVIE AN OBSTACLE?

IS THERE SOME MYSTERY

ABOUT THE YOUNG LADY?

SO MUCH SO, SIR,

THAT WE AT ONE TIME

THOUGHT THAT SHE

AND MISS PHOEBE

WERE THE SAME PERSON.

WE'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN

HER FACE.

INDEED?

HOW DO YOU FIND YOURSELF,

DEAR MISS LIVVIE?

IF YOU MUST KNOW,

LADIES...

SHE FINDS HERSELF TOO

ILL TO SEE VISITORS.

TOO ILL

TO SEE ANYONE.

IN THAT CASE, PATTY, I THINK

SHE SHOULD SEE A PHYSICIAN.

IS SHE VERY POORLY,

SIR?

WE DID NOT HEAR YOU

ADDRESS HER.

SHE'S NOT AWAKE, MA'AM.

IT'S NOT A VERY SERIOUS ILLNESS,

I THINK.

WE MUSTN'T TALK,

LEST WE DISTURB HER.

IN FACT, I THINK

YOU'D ALL BETTER GO.

PATTY,

HAVE THEY GONE YET?!

SHH!

NO, SUSAN,

BUT WE ARE GOING.

OH...

MISS PHOEBE, I DESIRE

TO SEE MISS LIVVIE.

IMPOSSIBLE.

WHY IMPOSSIBLE?

THEY TELL ME STRANGE

TALES OF NO ONE SEEING HER.

GO AT ONCE AND TELL MISS

LIVVIE THAT I MUST SEE HER.

YES, SIR.

PATTY...

OH, HOW DO YOU DO,

SIR?

WELL, IT CERTAINLY IS A PLEAS

- GOOD MORNING, SERGEANT.

AT EASE.

PATTY, WHY IS THIS TRICK

BEING PLAYED UPON ME?

UPON YOU, TOO, SIR?

HA HA.

WELL, I NEVER.

AT EASE, SERGEANT.

EXPLAIN, PATTY.

I DON'T KNOW

WHAT YOU MEAN, SIR.

PATTY, I KNOW

THERE'S NO MISS LIVVIE.

BUT MISS PHOEBE HAS BEEN

IMPERSONATING HER.

AND IF SHE HAS?

WHY HAS SHE DONE THIS?

IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT,

SIR.

MY FAULT?

IT WAS YOU

WHO STARTED IT,

ALL BY NOT KNOWING HER

WHEN YOU FIRST RETURNED.

INDEED?

EVERYTHING'S

YOUR FAULT, SIR,

AND IT'S TIME

YOU KNEW IT.

TELL ME, WHY DON'T THEY

SAY MISS LIVVIE'S GONE HOME?

IT WOULD SAVE THEM

A WORLD OF TROUBLE.

THE WILLOUGHBYS WATCH

THE HOUSE ALL THE TIME.

THEY WOULD SAY,

"SHE CANNOT HAVE GONE,

FOR WE HAVE NOT

SEEN HER GO."

I SEE.

MISS LIVVIE IS

GREATLY IMPROVED, SIR,

AND HAS CONSENTED TO COME IN TO SEE YOU.

YOUR SERVANT,

MISS LIVVIE.

HOW DO YOU DO, SIR?

AND, UH, ISN'T MISS PHOEBE

TO JOIN US?

UH, SHE-SHE...

SHE'S TAKING THE OPPORTUNITY

OF AIRING THE ROOM.

AHH!

OF COURSE.

CAPTAIN BROWN

WILL EXCUSE YOU, PHOEBE.

CERTAINLY,

MISS SUSAN.

ALLOW ME.

SHE'LL RECOVER.

IN FACT, MA'AM, I THINK

I COULD CURE MISS LIVVIE...

IF SHE'S PUT UNRESERVEDLY IN MY HANDS.

WELL,

I'M SURE YOU COULD.

THEN YOU'RE MY PATIENT, MISS LIVVIE.

OH.

HOME'S THE PLACE

FOR YOU.

YES.

WOULD THAT

I COULD GO THERE.

YOU ARE GOING.

YES. SOON, SIR.

INDEED, I HAVE A DELIGHTFUL

SURPRISE FOR YOU, MISS LIVVIE.

YOU'RE GOING TODAY.

TODAY?

NOT MERELY TODAY,

BUT NOW.

COME, MISS SUSAN,

SOME WRAPS FOR HER.

OH, BUT, SIR,

I DECLINE TO GO.

NO, MISS LIVVIE.

YOU'RE IN MY HANDS.

BUT, SIR-

WE MUSTN'T HUMOR HER,

MISS SUSAN. THE WRAPS.

AUNTIE,

DON'T LEAVE ME.

WHAT A DIFFICULT PATIENT

IT IS.

WILL YOU REASON WITH HER,

MISS SUSAN?

I SHALL ASK MISS PHOEBE

FOR SOME WRAPS.

WELL, HOW DO YOU DO,

MISS PHOEBE?

LIVVIE.

I THINK THESE WILL DO

ADMIRABLY, MISS SUSAN.

BUT...

PHOEBE?

SHE'S STILL BUSY

AIRING THE ROOM.

COME ALONG, SERGEANT.

PATTY, GET YOUR CLOAK

AND BONNET.

WE'RE TAKING

MISS LIVVIE HOME.

YES, SIR.

AHH, MISS LIVVIE.

ALLOW ME

TO PUT THESE ROUND YOU.

TAKE HOLD HERE, SERGEANT,

WILL YOU?

YES, SIR.

HA HA.

MAY I, UH...

MAY I ASK, SIR,

WHERE SHE IS?

HERE.

THEN, SIR,

MIGHT I ASK

WHO IS SHE?

MISS LIVVIE, SERGEANT.

THANK YOU.

OH. HOW DO YOU DO,

MA'AM?

NOW, SERGEANT, WILL YOU

TAKE CARE OF THAT LEFT ELBOW?

THE-OH, THE LEFT-

OH, THE LEFT ELBOW.

OH, YES, SIR.

YES, SIR.

NOW COME ALONG,

MISS LIVVIE.

DON'T BE AFRAID.

OUR ARMS

ARE AROUND YOU.

THERE. BE BRAVE.

GOOD-BYE, MISS SUSAN.

WE'LL TAKE

EVERY CARE OF HER.

GENTLY, SERGEANT,

GENTLY.

YES, SIR.

SUSAN,

HAS HE GONE?

PHOEBE, HE KNOWS ALL.

YES. YES,

I KNOW HE DOES.

BUT WHAT DID HE SAY?

IT WAS WHAT HE DID.

HE TOOK LIVVIE

WITH HIM.

SUSAN.

SUSAN,

YOU MUSTN'T SAY THAT.

YOU'RE NOT DISTRAUGHT,

ARE YOU?

HE DID.

HE WRAPPED HER UP

IN A CLOAK.

SUSAN.

YOU'RE SUSAN THROSSEL.

YOU REMEMBER ME,

DON'T YOU?

PHOEBE?

YOUR SISTER?

I WAS LIVVIE ALSO.

HE TOOK LIVVIE WITH HIM.

OH...

HEAVENS.

NOW...

SUSAN...

SUSAN, WHO AM I?

YOU'RE PHOEBE.

AND WHO WAS LIVVIE?

YOU WERE.

OH. THANK YOU.

BUT HE TOOK LIVVIE

WITH HIM.

LOOK...

SHE'S LEAVING.

WE SHALL SEE.

DRIVE HER TO THE COUNTRY.

WHERE, SIR?

ANYWHERE.

BURY MISS LIVVIE

IN A LONELY SPOT

AND DON'T RETURN

BEFORE SUNDOWN.

SUNDOWN?

BUT, SIR...

SUNDOWN.

WHIP UP THE HORSES.

OFF WITH YOU.

LADIES! YOU'VE ARRIVED

JUST TOO LATE

TO BID MISS LIVVIE FAREWELL.

MISS LIVVIE?

I'VE SENT HER HOME.

'TIS

A GOOD RIDDANCE.

MARY!

EDMUND BLADES, IF YOU'VE COME TO

SEE MISS LIVVIE, YOU'RE TOO LATE.

SHE'S GONE HOME.

BUT... MY FLOWERS.

MY BONBONS.

I'M SURE

THESE EXCELLENT LADIES

ARE FAR MORE DESERVING

OF THEM.

MISS SUSAN...

I'VE BROUGHT YOU

SOME FIREWOOD.

THANK YOU, SIR.

MISS PHOEBE?

YES, SIR?

IT ISN'T RAINING,

BUT YOUR FACE IS WET.

I WISH ALWAYS TO KISS YOU

WHEN YOUR FACE IS WET.

SUSAN...

DEAREST PHOEBE THROSSEL...

WILL YOU BE PHOEBE BROWN?

YOU KNOW EVERYTHING,

SIR?

AND THAT I AM NOT

A GARDEN?

I KNOW EVERYTHING...

EXCEPT THAT.

SIR...

THE DICTATES

OF MY HEART

ENJOIN ME TO ACCEPT

YOUR

TOO-FLATTERING OFFER.

OH, SIR...

SUSAN ALSO.

THANK YOU.