Psychosynthesis (2020) - full transcript

- Mommy?

Are you in there?

Olive, breakfast!

- Mommy?

- What were you thinking?

Alice.

- Olive was hungry.

- And you didn't think to come get me?

- You were sleeping.

I didn't wanna bother you.

- Oh, come on.

Hey.

Next time, just wake me up.

Always wake me up.

- Okay.

- Okay?

- I'm sorry.

- Can we eat already?

School is soon.

- I'll be right there, baby.

- I love you.

- I love you.

- I'm starving!

Come on, baby, let's go.

So, how'd I do?

- They're a little undercooked.

- Undercooked?

I don't think so, let me try.

- Ew.

- Excuse me.

- It touched your meat.

- You've taught her well.

- You should be happy

she has a conscience.

- Super happy, just like you.

- Are you happy too, Mommy?

- I sure am, sweetie.

- You don't look happy.

- Mommy's gonna feel a lot

better after her big operation.

Isn't that right, Mom?

- Daddy told me they have to take out

the heart that's in you now,

and replace it with a new one.

- Come on, let's go.

- Give mommy a kiss.

- Baby, grab a jacket.

It's cold outside, okay?

Come here.

- Bye.

- Bye, be safe.

- Okay.

- Hello?

Fuck.

- What're you doing?

- I can walk.

- I know.

Will you please just get in the chair?

I don't wanna waste time,

not today, come on, please.

They said we have an hour

and that was 25 minutes ago.

You're not gonna get another shot at this.

So please, can we just get

in the car, for fuck's sake?

Watch the bump.

Welcome home.

I told Olive,

that we would make,

a little video for her.

Woo!

Welcome home, Mom.

How's it feel?

- Can I have a minute?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'll get cleaned up.

Sorry.

I put some hot water on for tea in case...

Uh...

Alice, the doctor said it's supposed to be

two days until you're up and about.

- Did someone paint in

here while I was gone?

- Did somebody paint?

No.

- Did you move the furniture around?

- No, Alice, I've barely been home.

- Looks different in here.

- Uh...

Hey, uh.

Can you please go slow, at least?

- Alice.

You shouldn't be in there so long.

- Rover's up.

"Yeah, I'm still up."

Do you think it's bed time?

"Yeah.

"Can I have a hug?

"Oh, thank you, Olive."

Let's get you tucked in.

Here's Mr. Frog.

- Thank you.

- All right.

How's that?

- Perfect.

Oh, Frisky needs his dinner.

- Okay.

How much does Frisky eat?

- Too big shakes.

- One.

Two.

Goodnight, baby girl.

What's wrong?

- You're freezing.

- Freezing?

Well, you feel okay.

Tuck in.

- Goodnight, Mommy.

- Night night.

- Love you.

- I love you more.

- You have somebody else's part in you.

That's fuckin' crazy.

- They didn't say it'd feel like this.

- Like what?

- I just wanna be better.

- You're gettin' there.

You walked in here, you put Olive down.

You're gettin' there.

- I feel empty.

Vacant.

Like something's missing.

Do you think you can feel voices?

- What do you mean?

- People can hear them, but I

wonder if you could feel them.

- I don't know.

Maybe.

- You know, he wouldn't

tell me anything about her.

- Who?

- Dr. Blackwell.

He wouldn't tell me

anything about my donor.

Just that she was around my age.

- Would you wanna know?

Would it help?

- I don't know.

What do you think?

- I think it's beautiful.

All right, smarty pants, what

does a baby alligator live in?

- An egg!

- You're smart.

Okay, what kind of water

does an alligator live in?

- Um...

Fresh?

- You're a genius.

I mean it.

What about a crocodile?

- Salt water.

That one's easy.

- Easy? They might skip you a grade, then.

If that was easy.

- Mommy?

- Alice.

- That's so gross!

- Oh, my god.

- I kinda like this new you.

- You guys gotta leave for

school, it's getting late.

- Yes, ma'am, you heard

the boss, let's go.

I'm sorry, I'll, I'll...

- Sit down.

How'd you know how to play that?

- I don't know.

- But I just heard you.

- I don't know, I don't play the piano.

Look, I'll go.

- That was Ava's last

composition before she died.

But I supposed you already knew that.

- I didn't know.

- Then why are you here?

Are you just another

one of Ava's crazy fans?

- No.

- Then how do you know how

to play what you just did?

Tell me.

- Stop, what're you doing?

- I think I have your wife's heart.

She was beautiful.

- She was.

- And so adored.

I'm surprised I never heard her music.

- Modern classical isn't exactly Top 40.

But, in her niche, she was revered.

- Do you mind if I ask how she, um...

- Suicide.

- Oh.

I'm sorry.

- Ava wasn't like the rest of us.

She was infectious.

Intensely gifted.

Brilliant.

- Maybe I'm lucky to have

a piece of her in me.

- What makes you so sure that you do?

- How do you explain me getting here?

To your house.

I don't even remember driving over.

The car practically drove itself.

- You say you weren't a fan,

but Ava was public figure.

Maybe you're just a little mixed up.

Look, don't feel bad about

it, I'm not sure you'd really

want her to be a part of you anyway.

- Why?

- She was unwell.

Disturbed.

I always used to say

she had her good parts,

and her bad parts.

- But you couldn't help but

love her, for her good parts.

- That's right.

- I tried you 13 times, Alice.

Why didn't you pick up my calls?

- I'm sorry, I was busy.

My phone died.

- Well, which is it, were you

busy or did you phone die?

- Does it matter?

- Yes, it does.

Because you scared the shit out of us.

You left and you didn't call!

- I feel like a prisoner

in here sometimes.

- What?

What if something happened?

- Nothing happened.

- Yeah, but...

What if it had?

I was supposed to be with you

the first time that you drove.

Good call, Mom.

Next time, call!

- Just got Olive back down.

Do you want some water or something?

- Mm-mm.

- Is everything okay?

- I'm tired.

- I mean with us.

- Mm-hm.

- I'll let you relax, I'm sorry.

And, um, I'm sorry about earlier.

- I can't even pretend to

understand what it's like

to go through what you're going through.

- You don't have to understand.

I just need some space to breathe.

That's all.

- I know.

You wanna come to bed?

- Gonna sleep out here tonight.

- You're sure?

You might be able to get better...

Goodnight.

- Jesus Christ.

- Hey, perfect timing.

Hope you're hungry.

- Hungriest.

- Mm.

- Kiddo, we were gonna grab

somethin' to eat on the way.

Remember?

- Oh, can Mommy come, too?

- Can Mommy come, too?

- You enjoy, see you after school, okay?

- I forgot to feed Frisky.

- Kiddo, we're gonna be late.

I told you to do that last night.

Can you feed her fish for us, please?

- Fish.

Sure.

- Thank you.

Come on, let's go.

- Bye, love you, Mommy.

- Love you more!

So it's normal to just bleed

like that for no reason?

- Very common, very normal.

It’s an overactive immuno-response.

That’s what those immunosuppressants are for.

Have you been taking them?

- Yes.

- That’s all you need to do for now.

- How did she die, my donor?

- You know I can't talk to you about your donor.

- I'm not asking who she

is, just how she died.

- It's protocol. It's always better the patient doesn't know.

- I need to who's inside of me.

- I couldn't help you with that even if I wanted to.

- I looked up cellular memory.

- None of that stuff has even been researched.

- What?

- Look, I recommend just staying

off the internet for a couple weeks.

Focus on healing.

You need time to recover right now.

- I need to know.

- I can’t give you

specifics, Alice, I'm sorry.

All I'll say is, many

donors are gunshot victims.

Often suicide.

Their organs have a

high success rate.

- So what are you telling me?

- Nothing. It's just a statistic.

It's public knowledge.

Anyway, I better run,

but I'm gonna see you next

week for your follow up.

In the meantime, just take it day by day.

- Okay.

I can't believe this is happening.

When I heard you playing,

it was like a dream.

She came back to me.

Her good parts, at least.

The ones I fell in love with.

Her warmth.

- Was she like that?

Was she warm?

- She had this laugh.

- You must miss her.

- I do.

In some ways, but in others,

I'm just glad she's gone.

I took her to the lake to go camping once.

There were these kids playing

on the shore, laughing.

They'd found a little tortoise,

they were playing with it,

trying to feed it leaves and sticks.

It got late and we went to

sleep and a few hours later,

I woke up, she was gone.

I went down to the beach to

look for her and I found her

smashing it with a rock.

With that fucking smile on her face.

Just enjoying watching it die.

I thought I could cure her.

I was wrong.

- This smells delicious.

- This was her favorite.

Do you eat meat?

- Yes.

Hm.

Sorry.

Um, can I ask you something?

- Sure.

- Why was Ava's death being investigated?

The papers said it was ruled as suicide.

- Well, she was somewhat of a

minor celebrity, wasn't she?

I mean, an investigation's

practically mandatory.

You gonna get that?

- No.

- It was stupid, really.

- What was stupid?

- Something about the autopsy.

They were just following protocol,

they cautioned everybody.

Even me.

Just glad that fucking nightmare's over.

So what did they want with you?

- Nothing.

The neighbor made some bullshit statement.

Painted me to be some kind of wife-beater.

Me.

Of all people.

But they realized it was all bullshit.

Do you mind?

- Be my guest.

- Am I allowed to ask where you are?

- I'm at my mother's.

- Did we not just talk about this?

Hello?

- I really can't be doing this right now.

What's gotten into her?

- Her fucking fish died.

Did you feed it?

- I'll call you when I'm on my way home.

- Everything all right?

- Yeah, just finishing up.

- What'd you find there?

- Oh.

I don't know.

- Oh.

I thought we threw those away.

Just part of Ava's therapy.

- Is this Ava's room?

- It is.

- The morning I got out of surgery,

all I wanted was a cigarette.

Never smoked a day in my life.

- Ava was a walking ashtray.

- Why does that not surprise me?

- What does it feel like to be in here?

- Strange.

Familiar.

May I?

- Please.

- She had gorgeous taste.

- That was one of her favorites.

- Really?

- Why don't you see if it fits?

- Um, I...

- You can keep it, if you'd like.

I'm sure Ava would want you to have it.

- Um...

- Try it on.

It's okay.

- Okay.

- Okay.

Fuck.

- It's 3:41 in the morning.

And what the fuck are you wearing?

Hello?

- I think we should talk

about this tomorrow.

- No, we're gonna talk about

this right now, where were you?

Alice.

- I'm tired.

- Oh!

Really?

I'm so sorry.

It must be fuckin'

exhausting to work all day,

and come home and take

care of your daughter

while your partner's

recovering from heart surgery.

Where the fuck were you?

Who the fuck are you?

- Hi.

- You disappeared.

- You shouldn't have let me fall asleep.

- I couldn't bear to let you slip away.

- I really can't be doing this right now.

- Well, I'll call you tonight, then.

- No, I can't be doing this, period.

- Come on.

- Last night was a mistake.

- Are you sure about that?

- I shouldn't have slept

with you, it's not what I do.

- Don't you feel this is bigger than that?

That it's all happening for a reason?

- Oh, fuck.

- What?

- I have to go.

What, I don't exist anymore?

- Sucks, doesn't it?

Why haven't you been takin' your pills?

- I have been taking my pills.

- Don't lie to me, Alice.

Come on.

- Are you counting my pills now?

- Actually, yes, I am.

Because one of us has to

be an adult around here.

- Yeah, why don't you leave me alone?

- Leave you alone?

- Mm-hm.

- Where were you last night?

- Nowhere.

- Were you with someone?

- No.

- Who the fuck were you with?

- I said, no one.

- Alice, hey.

Where were you?

- Let go of me.

- Alice, look, hey.

I'm not even gonna be mad.

I just wanna know.

Just tell me the truth!

- I was at a hotel.

- Is that who you were on the phone with

this morning, Mommy?

- Who were you on the phone with?

Alice.

- Jacob.

- You changed your password.

- Give me my phone.

- What is goin' on?

- What's going on is that I

fucking hate you, and I will not

hesitate to burn this fucking

house down just to kill you.

- What the fuck is your problem?

- Give me my phone.

- Alice!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

- What do you mean you

"practically killed him?"

It was like someone else took over.

- That's how Ava used to describe them.

- Describe what?

- Her episodes.

They were horrifying.

She turned the gas stove

on before bed once.

Left it running all night.

Lay next to me.

Kissed me with that smile.

Knowing in her heart she was

trying to end everything.

- Maybe it was a cry for help.

- She can even manipulate

people from beyond the grave.

What a talent.

- Manipulate?

- Ava was a sociopath.

- You don't actually believe that.

- Of course I do, she was

clinically sociopathic.

It's almost impossible to diagnose.

I had to do the best that I

could to find meds that worked,

and they helped, for a while.

Eventually....

You know how her story ends.

- You just gave her medication

that wasn't prescribed?

- I should get that.

They don't realize it's

as much about the soil

as it is the climate out there.

- I've never been to Napa.

- We should go.

- What do you have cameras inside?

- I have cameras everywhere.

- Okay.

It's a little strange.

- Well, don't worry, I

didn't put 'em in for you.

They were for Ava.

- Oh, right.

- I know, it's crazy.

I just did everything I could to help,

and sometimes that

meant just watching her.

Okay?

- You're a good guy.

- I know.

- Ouch.

- What's wrong?

- Oh, I'm sorry.

This thing's been bugging me.

Can I use your restroom?

- Yeah, it's upstairs.

- Thanks.

I'm guessing this isn't your office.

- This was Felix's room.

- Is that his name, your son?

- Yes.

- What a beautiful name.

Where is he?

Felix.

- He died.

- Oh, my god, I'm so sorry.

- I’d like you to stay in the guest room tonight.

I’m not feeling myself.

- Yeah, yeah, of course.

You scared the shit outta her.

- Shh.

It's okay.

- No, where were you?

- I had to clear my head.

But I'm ready to start over.

- Start over?

- Let's just forget any of this happened.

- I don't think it works like that, Alice.

- Jacob, it'll never happen again.

I promise.

- It wasn't supposed to happen.

- I promise.

- Are you okay?

- Of course I'm okay.

I shouldn't have blown up on you.

Jacob.

It wasn't me.

This is me.

Can you feel it?

I love you.

- I love you, too.

Go kiss your baby girl.

- I'm sorry I scared you, baby.

- Are you still feeling sick?

- No.

I'm all better.

- Really?

- Can't you tell?

I'm sorry about Frisky.

Let's go to the pet store tomorrow.

I'll get you another goldfish

that looks just like him.

You won't even know the difference.

- Okay.

- Love you, Mommy.