Psycho Granny (2019) Movie Script

I would like to say a few words

before we start

this delicious meal,

which I don't mind telling you,

I spent the entire day

preparing.

But it was worth every second

because it allowed me

to create this perfect moment.

I just wish I'd been able

to create this perfect moment

for a better family.

I am just so disappointed

in all of you.

Dennis, this is the first day

you have spent with the family

in months!

You're always away

at the office,

wrapped around your cell phone.

Or is it your secretary?

We don't really know, do we?

Suzy, it was good of you

to change your plans

at the last minute to be here.

I know,

you'd rather be getting high

with your hoodlum boyfriend.

And speaking of the devil,

the inestimable Rip.

Thank you, by the way,

for actually washing your hair

before joining us for a meal.

I know that you would

much rather be banging Suzy

in the backseat of your car,

but...

And last but not least, Shannon.

A complete and utter failure

as both a wife and a mother.

The only thing

you were perfect at

was ignoring everything wrong

with this family.

Perhaps, if you'd been able

to take a day or two

off of pill popping,

you might have noticed

what was happening

all around you, but, alas, no.

Now, I understand

that these days

it is very difficult

to be a family.

What with cell phones

and all the devices,

it is so much easier to focus

on those distractions

rather than the people

that really, truly matter.

And I have done my very best

to try to show you

the error of your ways.

But I just can't spend

anymore effort

in trying

to make this family perfect.

So I wanted to take

this opportunity to tell you

that I'll be moving on

and so shall all of you be.

We just won't be going together.

Cheers!

Perfect.

"Survived by her daughter...

Samantha."

Perfect.

I'm sorry. I'm such a mess.

Hey, don't be sorry.

You're supposed to be crying.

I know, I just feel

so drained. It's...

It's like I'm crying,

but nothing's coming out.

Well, you're just dehydrated.

Here.

Have some water.

And now I'm filling up

so I can cry some more.

Thank you.

I just wish that...

that I didn't ever listen

to all those websites

that said we had to wait

three months

before telling anyone.

She's my mother,

I could've at least told her.

Sam, there's no way you could've

predicted your mother's passing.

And after

the last two miscarriages,

we were just being cautious.

I know.

I was just so afraid

of disappointing everyone again.

Look,

you didn't disappoint anyone.

You never disappointed anyone.

And listen, your mother,

she's gonna be

looking down on you and her.

My God!

I would kill

for a glass of Pinot right now.

You know what?

We're gonna be fine.

Yeah.

- I'm here. I'm here.

- Yeah.

For whatever you need.

For the both of you.

I guess I should get ready.

Ah, you look fine.

I'm wearing sweatpants.

Yeah, I'm sure

they're used to people

showing up in their sweatpants.

Hey, you know what?

I have an idea.

You wear your sweatpants.

And I will wear mine.

Show of solidarity.

What do you think?

All right, Mrs. Kirkpatrick,

I just have

a few more things

for you to sign.

Flick it over, sign by the X.

Of course.

Is it the office?

I told 'em not to call today.

It's gone off four times.

It might be important.

- Maybe you should take it.

- Are you sure?

Yeah. Go ahead. I'll be fine.

Okay, all right. Excuse me.

Mm-hmm.

Um, are you the sole executor

of the estate

or do you have any other family

members who are helping you?

No. My mom was adopted.

So it was always

just the two of us.

I see.

Well, take a look at this.

Initial by the X.

- I'm sorry.

- I know.

Don't forget page two.

All right. I will go

and make some copies.

I'll be right back.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Oh, I'm s... I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to sca...

To scare you.

Oh, no, no, no. It's, uh...

It's okay.

At least you didn't break it.

Yeah.

Um, I know this...

is kind of

an unorthodox question,

but I'm looking for someone

who might be here.

And I was wondering if you could

help me with that.

Oh, I don't work here,

but Mrs. Wicker will come back

soon and she can help you.

Okay. Um...

Would you mind if I wait here?

- No.

- Thanks.

Not at all.

Oh, I'm-I'm, I'm Colleen.

- I'm Samantha.

- Nice.

These, these places make me

kind of nervous.

Me, too.

I mean, no one ever

really prepares you

for stuff like this.

So... I assume

you lost someone, too.

- My mom.

- Ooh, that's tough.

Uh...

I lost my daughter.

Oh...

It's kind of strange.

This crying

in front of somebody else.

I guess I just never,

you know,

really got over the guilt

of giving her up for adoption.

I...

Are you here for Leslie Schuman?

Wha...

Yeah.

Why, did you know her?

Um, she's my mother.

W-what?

Uh, so you are, uh...

Uh, no,

this isn't...

This isn't the way

this is supposed to happen.

This... No. I, um...

I have to...

- Uh, no-no, no.

- No, I have to, I have to go.

- I have to go.

- Please, please wait.

I'm going. I have to go.

Oh!

Who was that?

I, I think

it was my grandmother.

I don't think

she ever reached out to her.

And most of the time

when I asked about family,

she would just

change the subject.

Mm, well,

how did she even found out

about your mother passing away?

I ran the obituary in the paper,

and the paper ran it online.

So as long as she knew

my mother's name,

she could have done

a quick search and found it.

I mean, my mom could've reached

out to her towards the end.

But if she did, I don't know

why she didn't tell me.

God, there are so many questions

I'd love to ask her.

Of course, there's the big one.

Why did you put my mom up

for adoption?

Maybe it was a, uh,

family scandal, you know?

She came from a rich family,

she gets pregnant

out of wedlock.

- Stop it.

- What?

Look, you might be

a long-lost Vanderbilt.

Seriously, you-you could be

worth a billion dollars.

And then I wouldn't put up

with you working all the time.

But in all seriousness,

I need to know.

Yeah, well, I'm really happy

that you're getting reconnected

with your grandmother.

Just be careful.

You know how you can be.

What's that supposed to mean?

You know, you get...

really connected with people

and things really quickly.

Is that your nice way of saying

I'm codependent?

Let's just say, if it weren't

for my allergies,

we'd be up to my eyeballs in

stray cats and dogs right now.

- You're no help.

- Sure, I am.

Who do you think is buying

that mansion

for the three of us to live in,

Mrs. Vanderbilt?

- Hello?

- Hello, Mrs. Kirkpatrick.

I'm so sorry

to bother you, but...

Well, Ms. Wicker

had an accident last night.

Oh? Oh, I'm sorry.

Yes, we are all

quite shocked, but I'm just

following up with some of her accounts and wanted

to let you know that all

the paperwork is completed

and we will be

mailing you copies.

Okay. Thank you.

Who was that?

The funeral home.

There was an acci...

- Hello?

- Hi, Samantha.

- This is Colleen.

- Oh.

Hi. It's her.

We, uh-uh met

the other day.

No, no, no, no, I-I remember.

Of course, I remember you.

Ask her

if she'll buy us a yacht.

Uh, I hope

I'm not disturbing you,

but when I, I told the people

at the funeral home

about our, you know,

our, o-our situation,

they were kind enough to give me

your number. I...

I just feel so bad

about that first meeting,

if you can even call it that,

and the way I just ran out.

I was really hoping that I could

make it up to you somehow.

Would you even consider

having lunch with me?

- Sure.

- Great!

Um, how does Frye's

on 24th sound?

- That sounds great.

- Wonderful.

Uh, say, tomorrow at 12:30?

- Okay.

- Oh, thank you.

This is great.

I'll-I'll see you there.

So?

We are going to lunch.

Make sure she treats.

Oh, well, this is just...

so unfortunate.

I had such high hopes for you.

Hmph.

I don't even know

what I was thinkin' with you.

You...

Mm,

you were so close.

You just weren't quite there.

Hm.

But this one...

This one is gonna be perfect.

Hi, you've reached

Leslie Schuman.

Please leave a message.

Hello!

Oh, hey, hon!

- Hey.

- I'm sorry.

I didn't know

you were on the phone.

Oh.

No, I'm not.

I keep calling my mom's phone

and I just wanna

hear her voice again.

Oh, honey,

it's perfectly normal.

- You miss her.

- Yeah.

You're gonna miss her

a really long time.

Probably forever.

It'll get better.

There's no wrong way to grieve.

I'm just having a hard time

accepting

that I can't call her

and see how she's doing

or even ask her opinion

about anything.

I mean, there is so much that

I didn't even get to say to her.

So many times that I could've

told her how much I loved her...

and how much she meant to me,

but I didn't.

You didn't need to.

You showed her all the time.

She knew.

Oh, I would give anything...

just to see her again.

I couldn't imagine.

But just because she isn't here

doesn't mean she's not with you.

You're really good to me.

You really didn't have

to come here.

Oh, of course, I did, dummy!

I love you.

You're my best friend.

That's what best friends do.

Anything you need, I'm here.

How would you like to follow me

tomorrow to Frye's Diner

for some emotional support?

What does that mean?

I met a woman

at the funeral home

that I think might be

my biological grandmother.

A-and we're meeting tomorrow

for lunch.

- What?

- Yeah.

Ooh, is she rich?

Ugh, you are just as bad

as Brad.

Come on, this... could be big.

I'm kidding, kind of.

I'm not. I...

Seriously, if you want me to go,

I'll be there.

No, that's okay.

I'll just tell you all about it

tomorrow night.

Good idea, it'll distract

Brad's crappy coworker

from hitting on me all night.

Classic.

So, um, I expect you have

a lot of questions.

- Why would you say that?

- Oh!

I don't know. Hm...

Um... I guess,

tell me a little bit

about yourself.

Sure, uh, I'm originally

from a, a town

about 50 miles from here

called Roxbury.

Oh, I went there when I was kid.

They have a fall festival

that my mom used to take me to.

I remember that festival.

Gosh, I haven't been there

in a million years,

but I remember it.

Uh, well,

and then after I left Roxbury,

I, I traveled a lot,

have new experiences,

explore new cultures,

you know, that sort of thing.

- And help people.

- Oh, really?

Oh, I'm a registered nurse.

That's incredible.

So do you want to, uh, you know,

get down to business,

so to speak?

I'm ready if you are.

One second.

Uh...

Why don't we start with the

biggest elephant in the room?

Why I gave your mom up

for adoption.

You don't really

have to tell me.

I mean,

I've been thinking about it

and it's not really

any of my business, so...

Of course, it's your business.

It's part of our family...

It's part

of your family history.

I would never keep that

from you.

- Modern parenting.

- I don't get it.

How can they just keep

their faces

buried in their cell phones

and ignore that child?

Why do they even have a family?

So you were saying?

First of all,

I, I married the wrong man...

Well, he wasn't a man.

He, he was a boy.

We got married

right after high school.

We were young and stupid.

And I got pregnant

right after we got married.

He started drinking.

Got worse and worse and...

I mean, I would have stayed

with him through that.

I-I wanted to try to help him

through that,

but... he didn't.

And then he started running

around with other women.

I said, "Well," you know,

"enough is enough.

I'm not gonna put up with that."

So I... I tried to do it

on my own.

I... really tried.

But it just got worse

and worse...

and it was so unfair

for my daughter.

She didn't sign up for anything

like that for...

So I... I thought

that probably the best thing...

was for me to give her up.

I really, I did it for her.

It was for her...

You don't have to justify

anything to me.

Thank you. You're so sweet.

Uh, why don't we just move on?

I would really, really like

to know more about you.

How long have you been married?

Oh, well,

for about ten years now.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Is the pitter patter

of little feet in your plans?

We've been trying,

but it's not so easy

as everyone makes it out to be.

Well, I wouldn't worry.

I sense that those little feet

will be in your future.

You... have the perfect aura

of motherhood about you.

Helen?

Helen!

Uh...

- Helen, I thought that was you.

- Well...

It's me, Julia. I lived across

from you in Portland. God.

It is so good to see you again.

Yeah.

I'm just in town

visiting my sister.

I had no clue

that you've moved here.

I'm so sorry, dear,

I think you have me confused.

We were all so worried

about what happened to you.

I mean, one day you were there,

the next day

y-your place is vacant.

We all joked

that you must have run out

in the middle of the night.

I'm so sorry, as I said, I...

You have me confused

with someone else.

I've, I've never even been

to Portland.

Helen,

we were neighbors for a year!

You have to remember me!

Oh, I'm sure if we had been

neighbors, I would,

but, I'm, I am certainly

not this, uh, this Helen.

Oh, then you must be

her long-lost twin then,

I guess.

I don't know you.

And you certainly

do not know me.

But have a lovely, lovely day.

Okay?

Uh, I'm sorry to bother you,

then.

Mm, now,

this looks delicious.

Thank you.

- Oh, my God!

- What's wrong?

It's this guy that I met

on one of those dating apps.

We went out the other night

and had a terrible time.

And, apparently,

he wants to go out again

for another terrible time.

Now, why are you online dating

when there are so many

perfect guys all around you?

- How's your wife, Todd?

- She's still in Phoenix.

All right.

- It's time to get serious.

- Yeah.

Tell me everything

about this potential grandma.

Not much to tell.

She seems pretty certain

that my mom was her daughter.

And your mom

never mentioned her at all?

Mm, never, I mean,

my mom never talked

about her childhood,

or our family, for that matter.

Mm. She want money?

No, Sam's mom wasn't exactly

rolling in it, you know?

She seems pretty sincere.

I wish

you could have talked to her.

She seemed genuinely racked

with guilt.

Wow. That's amazing.

- Just be careful, babe.

- What?

I can tell. You've completely

dropped your guard.

It is not.

Okay.

Changing the subject...

I'm ready if you are.

What are you two talking about?

We are pregnant!

- I knew it!

- Attaboy!

Thanks, man.

It has been killing me not being

able to tell you, for real.

Oh, my God, babe.

I'm so excited.

Do you know

what you're having yet?

We're not revealing

the gender yet.

Is it a Brad Junior?

Uh, I don't care what it is

as long as

there's only one of 'em.

Oh, my God, Sam,

if you need anything,

just let me know.

Thank you, Aimee.

Oh, my God.

Somebody pour some wine.

- Mm-hmm.

- We need to cheers.

- Okay.

- A club soda for the mama-to-be.

Here's to the growing

Kirkpatrick clan.

- Cheers.

Okay.

- Knock knock!

- Oh! Hi!

Oh, you startled me a little.

- I'm sorry.

- No problem.

Um, I was just finishing off

a couple of chores

that I've been putting off.

You know,

I saw this little trick online

and it makes sure that you park

your car perfectly every time.

- That's a great idea.

- Yeah.

I could use one of those.

I've bumped

into Brad's workbench

a few times more

than I'd like to mention.

Oh, well, you know, if you need

any help putting one up,

as you can see,

I am now an expert.

- I may take you up on that.

- Oh, good.

How about take me up

on a cup of tea?

- Sure.

- Great. Come on.

Now, this is a little strong.

I brought it back from India,

and they like their tea

with a bit of kick over there.

- I love your home.

- Oh. Thank you.

I'm still putting it together.

You'd think I'd be farther along

after a year.

Where have you been before here?

Oh, oh, okay.

Um, well, after I came back

from overseas,

I settled in Knoxville,

and then I went to Philly.

And then I made the big move,

you know, to Seattle

and after that I just did

sort of the whole

Pacific Northwest thing,

bouncing back and forth

between Oregon

and-and Washington state...

Colleen? Are you okay?

Yeah, sorry. Um...

You know,

people think it is too cold

and rainy in Oregon, but I love

the weather up there.

Well, you've lived a full life.

I guess so.

But I've also missed out

on so much.

If you don't mind me asking,

did you have any other children?

No.

I never could find the

perfect man to have them with.

Well, no one's perfect.

They can be.

But in the end, I-I think I just

spent so much time looking

that my biological clock

wound down,

and it was too late.

Also, I, I wonder

if maybe I didn't feel...

so guilty

about giving up one child

that I didn't... feel

I deserved to have another.

Oh...

I think I drank too much tea.

Yeah, I told you it's strong.

Would you mind pointing me

towards the bathroom?

Oh, of course, it's

the first door down the hall.

And I'm sorry, I just...

It's a little embarrassing.

But my septic tank has been

giving me trouble.

I'm having a repair guy come,

but in the meantime

we can't flush it.

So I've used

my bathroom upstairs

so this one is perfectly clean,

so go ahead.

- Well, I can hold it, it's--

- Oh, God, no.

No, I never want you

to feel uncomfortable.

Not when you're here.

- Okay.

- Just don't flush.

I won't.

Oh, my gosh!

You, you scared me.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.

- I didn't flush.

- Oh, it's not that.

It's, um, uh, the tea. My turn.

- Oh!

- Okay. Will you excuse me?

- Oh, yeah.

- Okay. It's...

All right.

Colleen, are you

doing all right in there?

Yeah, everything's fine, dear.

I'll just be another moment.

- H-help yourself to some more--

- Some tea?

Yeah.

All right.

Would you like anymore tea?

Uh, uh...

No. Thank you.

- Oh!

- Oh, my goodness!

We have got to stop meeting

like this, okay?

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean

to keep you waiting.

- Oh. No problem.

- Good.

I hope you don't mind, I was

also looking at these pictures

on the walls.

- Oh.

- All these different people.

Yeah. Lot of people.

Who are they?

No idea.

They came with the frames.

That's certainly one way

to decorate.

I'm kidding, of course.

Um, lot of 'em are patients

I've helped

throughout the years,

you know,

from all over the world.

That's really sweet.

I, uh, I like to think of them

as, as part of my family.

Bye. See you later.

Hm...

Have you even bothered to do

any research on this woman?

Look, I know you're questioning

if she's really my grandmother.

But what if she is

and I blow everything

because I'm too suspicious?

Besides, it's nice to talk

to someone about my mother.

- Case in point.

- I'm not answering it.

Just go ahead.

I'm done talking.

- Hello? Hey.

- Hey!

Look, I'm sorry

to bother you so late.

But I need you in New York

for a few days next week.

Oh, come on, man. Again?

Sorry, we need

your expertise on site.

Hey, look, I have to take

a red-eye out there

tomorrow night, just be

thankful you're not spending

the entire next two weeks away.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

I guess it's better we go now

than to go closer

to Sam's due date.

I'm finishing up

the blueprints now,

I'll drop them off

at your house tomorrow evening

before my flight.

Okay. All right. Oh, hey, uh...

Just, um, drop them

on the porch, all right?

Now I gotta go explain this

to Sam.

Good luck with that.

I'll call you

when the blueprints are ready.

Yeah. Thanks.

She loved baking.

She was always in the kitchen

making something

or trying out a new recipe.

Sounds great. But I assure you,

she did not get that from me.

You know, she passed down

all her recipes to me,

and I haven't had time

to make anything.

But I would like to try to make

her carrot... cake.

Oh, hey, uh,

are you, are you okay?

Uh, yeah.

It's just a little bit

of acid reflux.

Oh, well, let's go here.

- Let's just sit down.

- Yeah.

Yeah, I get that too sometimes.

You know,

I think somewhere in here

I have a ginger candy.

Mm...

Oh! Et voila!

- Mm! Thank you.

- You're welcome.

You know, I think that

by handing you that hard candy,

I've officially become granny.

Mm. Sam!

- Aimee!

- Hiya!

- Hey.

- How are you?

Where have you been?

I've been texting you.

I am sorry.

It's been a crazy week.

- I-I'm good. How are you?

- I'm good.

- I'm, uh, Colleen.

- Oh!

I'm sorry.

Aimee, this is Colleen.

- Colleen, Aimee.

- It's so nice to meet you.

Glad to put

a face and name together.

- Likewise.

- So...

What are you ladies up to today?

- We're just out for a stroll.

- Hm.

Oh!

- Oh.

- Uh...

- Well, honey, are you okay?

- I'm sorry.

Oh, no. I'm sorry.

I guess morning sickness

is an all-day thing, huh?

What? Are you pregnant?

- Yeah.

- Ah, that's wonderful!

Congratulations,

I told you you had the aura

of motherhood about you.

I'm so sorry

to ruin the surprise, Sam.

It's okay, I'm gonna start

showing soon, so...

Well, you know

that this also means

that I am going to be

a great-grandmother.

I had better stock up

on hard candies.

- And crackers.

- Oh...

All right, I gotta get back

to the office.

- Um, but we'll catch up soon?

- Yeah.

- Okay. I'll text you.

- I'll talk to you later.

It was really good to meet you,

Colleen.

You, too, Aimee.

She seems nice.

Yeah. We've been friends

since high school.

- Oh, that's a long time.

- Yeah. Yeah, it is.

She knows me better

than anyone else.

Listen, have you ever considered

homeopathic remedies

to help

with your morning sickness?

Um, Brad and I don't...

We're not that experimental.

It isn't really experimental.

They have been proven very safe

and very effective.

They're just organic remedies

to help you through this.

And I know a lot about them.

I'd love to share it with you.

- That sounds interesting.

- So you're game?

- I'm game.

- Great.

Why don't you come over

to my house tomorrow

and I'll take you through

all my experimental remedies?

- Sounds good.

- Wonderful.

Are you feelin' any better?

Uh, yeah. I think I feel fine.

Ready to continue our walk?

- Uh, yeah. Yeah, okay, fine.

- Great. Yeah, great.

Okay, I'll see you

in a little bit.

Hey, Todd's on his way over,

he's gotta drop off

some paperwork

and some blueprints.

Oh, I thought he was flying

to New York tonight.

He's stopping by on his way

to the airport.

He'll be here in a few minutes,

he's just gonna leave 'em

on the front porch.

You really think this

one isn't gonna let you down?

No, it's different,

Samantha and the baby.

It's perfect.

Is it? We thought Dennis

and Barbara were perfect, too,

but we both know

how that turned out.

Well, that wasn't my fault.

You said it yourself, they were

too flawed to be fixed.

Don't you get tired

of hearing that?

I know I get tired of saying it

every time things go wrong.

Just shut up.

Poor, poor Colleen.

Shut up.

Looks like she's never gonna

find the perfect family--

Just shut, shut up!

- Oh?

- Are you okay?

I have to tell you something.

And I don't want you

to be mad at me.

Okay.

Colleen knows about the baby.

You told her?

Actually, Aimee blurted it out.

And, of course, my head

was in a trashcan throwing up,

so it was kind of hard to hide.

Hm.

Oh.

Ah.

I can see we just steered away

from being cautious

right into inviting her over

for Christmas dinner.

My parents don't even know yet,

but yet this stranger knows?

Oh, my God! Uh, oh...

Oh, my...

I'm sorry.

- You, you startled me.

- Oh, no, no.

I'm sorry,

I didn't mean to, sweetie.

You're pissed that I told her?

- Seriously?

- Yeah.

It was just nice to tell someone

who might be family,

since I didn't get to tell

my mom.

And it was nice to see someone

who was genuinely happy for me.

Genuinely ha...

- I'm genuinely happy!

- I know!

Okay, that was a bad choice

of words, okay?

It's just, I didn't get to see

that excited

I'm-gonna-be-a-grandma look

from my mom.

And I got that look

from Colleen.

You don't get it.

Are you, uh...

You lost?

No, I'm just about to visit

my granddaughter.

Finishing up

a, a baby blanket for her.

Oh.

Are you Sam's grandmother,

Colleen?

Guilty as charged.

Don't you think

it's a little late for a visit?

I could say the same to you.

I understand, okay,

I just think you're replacing

your mother with her

a little too much.

Don't turn this

into another codependency talk.

I'm not turning this

into a codependency talk.

I'm concerned.

Do they know that you're here?

No. No,

I just kind of wanted to...

you know, surprise them.

Uh, have you put any thought

to taking the drugs

that Dr. Valentine

prescribed for the stress?

- Are you serious?

- I-I know, I know, I'm...

It's your decision, of course.

I'm just concerned

that all this stress and anxiety

is gonna endanger the baby

in any way.

Look, this is our family now.

The three of us, okay?

- I know.

- It's-it's gonna be okay.

You okay?

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Um, you sure

this is a good idea?

- It's a great idea.

- Okay.

I can tell already

you need this.

- Okay.

- All right, just lie down.

- Relax. Come on.

- All right.

- Okay.

- Mm...

Oh, my gosh!

- Your shoulders are so tight!

- Yeah.

I'm really not used

to getting massages.

- Oh.

- Someone suggested acupuncture.

Do you know anything about that?

I dabble in a little needlework.

It can be very effective.

But there are simpler things.

I can, uh, send you home

with some--

- Let me guess. Some tea?

- What?

No. Vitamins.

Okay, maybe some tea,

but not the strong stuff.

I'll send you back

with something soothing

and relaxing.

Okay. Ooh.

Do you eat enough

cruciferous vegetables?

I... I have no idea.

Broccoli, cauliflower, kale.

I-I try to, but I'm not

a big vegetable eater.

Mm-hmm.

Mom used to catch me

hiding my Brussels sprouts

in the napkin.

Oh.

I guess that's something

I never grew out of.

Well, you need

to start eating them,

and lots of them.

You know what, I will

also include a list of foods

you can enjoy and those

you really ought to avoid.

Oh, um, okay.

My gosh.

There's so much tension.

Is something bothering you?

I... It's...

You know what, it's nothing.

This feels so good

and I don't want to ruin it.

Okay.

It's just...

- Brad.

- Oh?

I feel like

he doesn't understand

what I'm going through,

and I just wish that he knew

how much sharing this pregnancy

with my mom meant to me.

I feel like he just wants me

to forget it and move on.

Has he said that to you?

No. Oh, God, no,

he would never say that.

It's just the look

and the attitude

I get from him sometimes.

Well, some people

have a hard time understanding

what another person's

going through.

There are very few

perfect people,

no matter how hard

we try to make them so.

I told you about my ex-husband.

Yeah, you mentioned he drank

and ran off with another woman.

Yeah. Those were just

the broad strokes.

No pun intended.

You know what the worst part

of it was?

What is that?

The jerk ran out

before I could kick him out.

Okay, look, now you relax.

Just put your head down.

Okay.

- Close your eyes.

- Mm-hmm.

And while you're doing that,

I will go put the kettle on

for us.

Okay.

Colleen?

Colleen, have you seen my phone?

Yeah.

Uh, everything's fine, dear.

I put it in my pocket because

I didn't want it to disturb you.

All right, what's going on?

Well...

I guess you caught me.

I, you know, I just,

I couldn't help myself.

I had this spare bedroom,

so I just decided

to turn it into a nursery.

And, yeah, I went with the pink

because, personally,

I had my fingers crossed

for a girl.

Oh, Colleen, you...

You really shouldn't have.

Oh, I'm sorry. I just...

I wanted to do something.

Why would there be

a nursery here?

Well, for when

you and the little one

come to visit or...

I mean,

if you just need a babysitter.

I'm just looking forward

to being the perfect grandma.

- Colleen, I--

- I know, I know.

We are not there yet, quite yet.

But you never know

what tomorrow will bring.

- Thank you.

- Good.

- How about some tea?

- Sounds good.

Let's go.

That was amazing.

Yes, it was.

So if I didn't mention it

earlier,

thank you for taking time

out of your busy pregnancy

to see me.

Stop it.

I know I'm not family, but...

Oh. Come on, that's not fair.

I know. I'm sorry.

I lash out because I miss you.

I need to know you're okay

every once in a while

and not locked in the trunk

of some old lady's car.

- You are the worst.

- Yes.

Honestly,

it just feels really good

to take a break

from both of them.

- Both of them?

- Yeah.

Colleen and Brad can just get

so damn controlling.

Example?

I mean, I've got Colleen

pushing

these herbal therapies on me,

while Brad is all about

not getting too close.

And he wants me to take

these anxiety drugs.

Brad wants you to take

what kind of drugs?

It's all these things

that the doctor recommended

when my mom died, he said it

wasn't necessary, so I thought,

"If I didn't really need them,

then why take them?"

And then

there's Colleen's herbal cures,

all the oils and the candles...

Ignore them both.

And do not run off with Colleen

to some hippie commune.

I am not calling your kid

Starflower.

You wanna hear something

really weird?

You know I do.

The other day I went over there

for some...

holistic therapy...

Okay, stop.

She made an entire nursery

so the baby could sleep there,

for when the baby and I

wanna stay over.

- That's weird.

- Right?

You know, I-I just told her

that I need some time

to come around,

but I don't know,

I'm beginning to think

the problem is with me.

- You are not the problem.

- Thanks.

Brad thinks that I stepped into

this grandma thing headfirst.

Uh, you know,

but I've set some rules.

But I just feel so guilty

for doing that.

You do not need to feel guilty.

Look, I don't wanna be

another controlling factor

in your life,

but I think I want someone

to look into your grandma.

Do you remember Jill? We went

for drinks a couple of times.

She owes me a favor.

Or maybe I owe her a favor.

Anyway, she works

at an adoption agency

and has access

to all these databases.

Why don't I just have her

do a quick search

and we'll see what comes up?

Oh, I don't... No.

That feels

a little too spy-movie for me.

Well, I'm doin' it.

We're having lunch

tomorrow.

And I gotta run.

I will call you

when I find anything out.

- Okay?

- Okay.

Okay.

I love you and your babe.

I love you, too.

Oh...

Oh, she's dangerous.

Yes, she is.

And you know the type. They

don't respond to just talk.

You're right.

Something more definite

may be required.

Be careful,

you don't wanna break

Samantha's heart.

We all have our hearts broken

a little.

But she'll recover,

and she won't have to go

through it alone

because... granny's home.

Keyboard keys clacking]

Aimee, let me just finish up

this email and then I was thi--

So remember how you owe me?

- No.

- Well, you do.

But it's not for me,

it's for my friend Samantha.

You remember her? We had drinks

a couple of times...

Anyway, I need you

to look up an adoption for me.

What's this?

It's the name of a woman

who supposedly

put her daughter up

for adoption.

You know,

there's usually more paperwork

when someone requests

this kind of information.

Please...

I'm so gonna get fired for this.

Well, that's odd.

Oh, this is interesting.

I've got a few arrests

and warrants.

What for?

Looks like suspicion

of credit fraud,

and a few

pending identity-theft charges.

- Anything else?

- No...

Wait! Yes, yes, there is.

This is from 1983,

and it looks pretty local.

Uh, another arrest?

No, it's something else.

It's hard to tell,

I'm gonna have them

send the report over

from the other agency.

Um, if I put the request in now,

I can have it by end of the day.

Get it to you

by tomorrow morning.

- Yeah, that would be great.

- Okay.

Listen, I have to run.

Uh-uh, raincheck on lunch.

I need to make a phone call.

Okay, but you owe me.

Come on, Samantha. Pick up.

Hi, it's Samantha, I can't take

your call right now,

but please leave a message

and I'll get back to you

as soon as possible.

Hey, Sam, it's Aims. Listen,

I just checked in with Jill.

And that wannabe grandma

of yours is a felon.

Jill found some shady stuff

in her past

and something from the 1980s.

I will know more tomorrow,

but I need you

to stay away from her.

Uh, I'm gonna go over there now

and tell her

her granny days are done.

Call me as soon as you get this.

Hey!

Oh! Well, isn't this

a delightful surprise!

Uh, Aimee, right?

Can it, granny!

- I'm sorry?

- You heard me, Colleen.

Or is it even your name?

Okay, I'm confused.

What do you want with Samantha?

Money?

Where is this coming from?

Samantha's mother dies and then

you show up out of nowhere.

Well, hardly out of nowhere.

Samantha must have told you,

her mother--

Why don't you tell me

about the identity-theft charge

or what happened in 1983?

Oh, Aimee...

This is all clearly

a huge misunderstanding.

Why don't you come inside?

I'll put the kettle on.

We can sit down calmly

and talk about it.

I will tell you

everything you want to know.

Come on.

Please, come in.

Now, I don't, I don't know

what it is you think you know,

but, uh, it's, there's a simple

explanation for all of this.

- You want a cup?

- No, I don't want a cup!

I want you

to leave my friend alone.

You are the last thing

she needs in her life right now.

You know,

I think I have something

that will solve all of this.

- What?

- A tea kettle.

God!

Okay.

One, two, three!

Oh...

The fiery crash

happened around 2 a.m.

on Whitaker Road.

At this point,

police are unable

to identify the victim,

but do suspect...

Glen. Glen, I'm not...

I'm not arguing that with you.

I just don't understand why.

Wha... What do you mean he never

showed up? I-I don't understand.

He was supposed to be

in New York with you.

Hey, Sam, it's Aims...

Okay, fine.

- ...wannabe grandma...

- It's already booked?

Okay, well, I've to pick up the

rest of the files at the office,

so I'll swing by now.

I'm on my way.

- I have to head out to New York.

- What?

- Yeah. Todd never showed.

- Where is he?

I don't know. His wife thinks

he ran off with somebody else.

So I guess

they need you now.

Yeah, yeah, they-they need me.

Yeah, it's a big deal.

It's gonna take about a week,

maybe two,

to figure this all out.

I was hoping that we could do

some baby-room things this week.

Oh, we always got Colleen

for that.

Wow, how long have you been

holding on to that one?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

It's just...

I haven't seen much of my wife

lately.

I thought you wanted me

to get out more

so my grief

didn't endanger our baby.

I wanted you to figure out

your grief.

I didn't want you to substitute

it with something else.

You don't know this woman.

I am sick

of having to justify myself

and any time that I spend time

with Colleen!

She at least listens

and seems to care about me.

Excuse me?

You don't trust me.

- You don't trust my choices.

- That's not true.

I just wanna make sure

that my wife and child are safe.

And that includes

being able to trust the people

she spends the most time with.

Because I can't make

that judgement for myself?

I...

You know what? Take it.

Have a safe flight.

I'll see you when you get back.

F-fine.

Hello?

You better get ready.

He'll be coming out soon.

Oh, don't worry. I'll be ready.

Remember,

just enough to knock him out.

Would you just shut up?

Here he comes.

Okay.

I guess it's showtime.

Ah!

Hey, it's Aimee!

You know what to do!

Hey, Aimee, it's me.

I could barely hear the message

you left me.

I guess, give me a call

when you have a chance.

Thank you

for inviting me over.

I don't want to be alone

in the house

when Brad is away on business.

Well, I'm surprised he left you

in this condition.

Oh... It's fine.

I mean, it's not like I'm gonna

pop this thing out tomorrow.

I just wish he didn't leave

in the middle of an argument.

I know, he said he was gonna

call, and he hasn't yet.

I don't know, I'm sure

he just got busy with work.

Well, I think Brad needs

to reorganize his priorities.

You and the baby

should always come first.

He knows that. He just has

a lot of responsibilities.

I'm sorry that I freaked out

the other day.

- About the nursery.

- Oh, no.

Please don't give that

a second thought.

I realize that I was coming on

a little strong with all that,

and the last thing

that I wanna do is ruin this

by being too pushy. I just...

You know, I do regret not

watching my own child grow up.

If only things had been perfect

enough for me to raise her...

But I know

that it's gonna take time

for you to trust me

and be able to let me

into your life and the baby's.

I'm sure we'll get there soon.

And this little baby

is going to be excited

to have a grandma in her life.

- You're having a girl?

- Yeah!

Oh! That is so wonderful!

Oh, my gosh!

So much

for the big gender reveal.

Oh, my God!

That is so wonderful.

It's gonna be just

a perfect little gaggle of gals.

Oh, I can hardly wait

to go shopping for her.

- Shall we have more tea?

- Absolutely.

This calls for a toast!

Okay!

Why do you have Aimee's phone?

Well, she left it here

the other day.

- Oh, she was here? When?

- Well...

Okay, you're gonna find out

eventually.

We decided to plan

your baby shower together.

I'm sorry to ruin the surprise.

I hope you're not mad.

No, not at all,

I just never pictured Aimee

as the baby-shower-planning

type.

Really? 'Cause she came up

with some great ideas.

So just, you know, act surprised

when it happens, okay?

Okay. I will.

And I was hoping that, um,

when you give it back to her,

you could tell her maybe you

found her phone at your house

so it doesn't seem like

I blabbed about the party.

Sure.

Okay.

How about that tea?

Mm-hmm.

Do you mind

if I use your restroom?

Of course not.

You know where it is.

Uh...

Is everything

all right in there?

I'm fine. Just one minute.

Oh, oh, oh...

I mean, I'm...

You know what,

I'm not feeling so well.

Oh, sweetie.

- Is it the morning sickness?

- Yeah.

Well, I could get you

some ginger.

No, no, no, no. It's, it's okay.

I'll-I'll go home

and lay down for a bit.

Well, you're welcome

to lie down upstairs.

I have the guest bedroom

made up.

No, I'll text you later.

Feel better, and drive safely.

Samantha?

Where's Samantha?

Wha... What is that?

That is a little

cocktail of my own design

that's going to give you

a nice long trip to sleepy town.

W-why?

Because I think

you need some time to think,

time to give you

some perspective.

Perhaps, even gain

a little appreciation

for exactly what it is you have.

You know

it's not just about you anymore.

Now, boy.

You get your rest.

Sleep tight.

We're gonna be going

on a little trip soon.

Oh...

- Hello? Yes.

- Hi, Samantha?

Hi, this is Jill. I'm Aimee's

friend from the adoption agency.

Oh, yeah. Uh, what's up?

Well, a couple of days ago

Aimee asked me

to look into something for her.

And if I found anything,

I said I would call.

- Did you find something?

- Yes.

The records are very old,

but it seems

that your maternal grandmother

died giving birth

to your mother.

- Are you sure?

- Yes.

According to the records.

There is something else,

though.

I did find something

about Colleen.

- Was it?

- Yes.

Yeah, it was

in an old case file from 1983.

It seems that she did

give a child up for adoption.

Not long

after her husband went missing.

Does anybody know

what happened to her husband?

Apparently, he was

on a trip to the Grand Canyon.

He just disappeared.

Park officials

never found a body.

They did question the wife,

though.

Quite a lot, actually.

Uh, some of the officers

on the case were certain

that she was responsible.

Do you know the child's name?

Yes, it's, um...

Hold on. It's Melanie.

Do you have a-a last name

or current address or...

I can't give you that.

Oh, man. Please, plea--

O-okay,

I'll text it over to you,

but you never got it from me.

Thank you.

Melanie? Melanie Goodwin?

- Mrs. Kirkpatrick?

- Yes.

Your secretary told me

I would find you here.

Yeah, sorry that we had to meet

under these conditions today,

but I'm due in court

in just a little while.

My secretary told me

that you said it was urgent?

- Yes.

- So how can my firm help you?

Well, this is really difficult

to say.

- Divorce.

- Excuse me?

It is okay.

I have seen this before.

It is very difficult at first.

But believe me, I've handled

a million divorce cases

and everything you're feeling

goes away

as soon as you sign

those final papers.

No, this isn't about divorce.

It's actually about you.

Excuse me?

You were put up for adoption

in 1983, right?

Who are you?

I think I may have met

your birth mother.

Regardless of who

this woman claims to be,

my mother,

the mother that raised me,

is Windy Goodwin.

And I have no interest

in connecting with someone

who had no interest

in connecting with me.

So if I cannot help you

with any legal matters...

- I've a very busy schedule.

- Look, I understand.

This is my address and my phone

number and that is the name

of the woman that I believe

is your biological mother.

I know

this is gonna sound crazy.

I think she killed your father

and my family may be in danger

because of her.

This has all been very amusing.

You should probably get inside.

Looks like it's going to rain.

Do not contact me again.

Melanie, please...

Come on. Come on.

Hi, you've reached Brad.

Leave a message

and I'll get back to you.

Brad, where have you been?

Please, just, just call me back.

Hi,

you've reached Brad.

Leave a message

and I'll get back to you.

Brad, I just got your text.

What's going on?

Why aren't you in New York?

You know what,

I'm on my way home.

It's really starting to rain.

I'm very worried.

Please call me.

Brad? Brad, are you here?

He won't be picking up, dear.

Brad's in the back.

He's sleeping.

He's very, very tired.

Don't worry, dear,

this is just something

to help you sleep, too.

That's a good girl.

Colleen?

Please untie me.

Please, I promise

I won't say anything.

Oh, I know you won't,

sweetheart.

Whatever you do,

please don't hurt my baby.

Hurt the ba...

I would never do anything

to hurt

our perfect little family.

This isn't your family.

Okay, I know

that this is slightly unorthodox

since you're so early

in the pregnancy,

but as your nurse

and as a concerned grandmother,

I'm going to have to insist

on strict bedrest

for the duration

of the pregnancy, all right?

But when it comes to

the delivery, I don't want you

to worry about a thing,

not for a moment.

I've delivered

hundreds of children.

And when it comes to it,

the baby doesn't care

whether you're in the hospital

or at home.

You can't do this.

Eventually, someone will stop by

and check on me.

And who would that be?

Your mother?

Brad? Aimee?

I don't think so.

What have you done?

I have made a perfect little

world for the three of us.

Just the three of us.

You're sick, you need help.

Oh, no, dear, I work alone.

And believe me, in the end

you will thank me for this.

Aimee is not the kind of friend

that you want to have

around your child.

She was out every night with

different men, drinking and t...

Oh, my God, the negativity.

I'm sorry,

but Aimee just had to go.

No. No, you didn't!

And don't get me even started

on Todd.

I did the whole world a favor

with that one.

Such an alpha male. No little

girl needs that in her life.

And believe me,

there is no perfect family

with the two of them

in the picture.

So... you'll understand

eventually,

you know,

because when it comes to it,

the most important thing,

the very most important thing

is family.

Grandma?

- Yes, dear?

- Grandma...

What have you done with Brad?

Is he okay?

Colleen! No!

What is that?

Oh, this is just something

to keep you hydrated.

And these are vitamins

to keep you and the baby

healthy.

Everybody's gotta have

some vitamins.

And this is just something

to, you know,

keep you calm for the duration

of your pregnancy.

You clearly need that.

I need to hang this.

What happens if my daughter

and I don't live up

to your perfect standards?

Are you gonna dump us

like you dumped Melanie?

Melanie...

You don't know the first thing

about Melanie.

I know that you left her

at an orphanage. Why?

Was it because she wasn't

the perfect little daughter

that you dreamed about?

No, Melanie was perfect.

It was her father

that was the problem.

I've already told you this.

Is that why you killed him?

Oh? Huh?

Look at that.

Look at me improvise.

How about that? All right,

let's get down to business.

No, no!

Stay still, honey,

I have to get this in.

Mm-mm! Stop.

Well, you are about

the worst patient ever.

Okay. Suit yourself.

I will just, uh, have to do it

while you're sleeping, then.

Okay, so... Here.

Let's, let's get this off

and you are just gonna feel

a little pinch...

Samantha!

Don't make me come over there!

Samantha!

Melanie, help!

- Ah.

- Oh, ...!

- Ah!

- Damn it!

Aah!

The patient's gonna sit there.

I'll call you.

Bye.

Hey.

Thank you.

Thank you, too.

You know, I meant what I said

about her not being my mother.

She stopped being my mother

the second she gave me up.

My mother was the woman

who raised me

and who put up with me

for the last 30-some years.

But she is still blood...

and I'm gonna do what I can

to make sure

she gets the help she needs.

That's very sweet of you.

I can't help

but feel sorry for her.

She truly did believe

that she was creating

something perfect.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I am gonna go get

a month-long spa treatment.

- Congratulations on your baby.

- Thank you.

Samantha.

Brad.

- Thank God.

- I love you.

I love you, too, little girl.

We love you, too.

Okay. Let's get started.

"Colleen Barton."

How are you felling today,

Colleen?

Just great, thanks.

My!

What a perfect little family

you have, doctor.

Psycho Granny (2019) - full transcript