Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies (2014) Movie Script

[audience cheering]

All right.

We're going to our next contest.

Are you guys ready?

How about on top?

Are you guys ready?

All right.

Let's go to the contest.

[music playing]

The winner of the

following contest

will become the number

1 contender for the APWA

MPW Junior weight Championship.

[audience cheering]

Son of a bitch.

ANNOUNCER: Now entering

the area, Battling Billy!

No!

Shane, no!

That's it.

Cover him.

Count.

[audience booing]

TAYA: Oh my god.

Billy's dead.

Is this legit?

So what do I have to do?

A private show at the

West Virginia Penitentiary.

I'll supply the opponents.

Choose.

Those two.

I don't care about the rest.

You want Shane?

And the Penthouse

Pet Taya Parker?

How about I throw in

there Rowdy Roddy Piper?

Hacksaw.

Matt Hardy and his

girlfriend, Reby Sky.

I got this neon ninja I

needed to promote, Facade.

Thomas Rodman.

Add a few laughs.

And Greg Grove.

The porn star?

Yeah, he wants to go legit.

Sure.

You know what?

For this kind of cash, I can

get you the Olympic champion,

Kurt Angle.

Yeah.

Yeah, bring him in

as a surprise though.

Bring him through the side door.

You got yourself a deal.

[growl]

VOICE: Barbara.

[scream]

God, you prick!

I can't believe you did that.

You should've seen

the look on your face.

You asshole!

No wonder you never get laid.

God.

[music playing]

[sobbing]

[growl]

You have done well.

Your will has been done.

Now you can obtain

vengeance against Shane

Douglas and justice for

your brother, Billy.

Yeah, and that's when

she said, last week.

The other book.

What did you do then?

It was a good idea at the time.

Are you coming?

-Yeah, I'm sure it was.

Yeah, I'm coming.

Just like all your

other good ideas, right?

I have great ideas.

I know this.

Angus says this gig pays well.

He hasn't let us down yet.

[moaning]

[music playing]

Hey, lady.

Are you OK?

[scream]

Get her off!

What are you doing?

Troy, honey.

You're gonna be late.

Nicky, finish your breakfast.

No.

I c-- not until I

can beat Uncle Shane.

That's Franchise to you, boy.

Come on.

That's it.

Come on.

Harder.

That's it.

I don't think so, Nicky.

Not this year.

Bro, you really going

back to wrestling?

Come on, Troy.

This is all I know.

Honey, it's only

been six weeks.

Mom.

Why don't you just let us--

Mom.

Please.

We've been through

this how many times?

I know we have, but--

I gotta be me.

I know.

How about you, Nicky?

Wanna go to the match

with Uncle Shane?

-Yeah.

-Huh?

What do you think, huh?

Yeah.

We'll see.

OK?

SHANE: Come on, Amber.

You don't want Nicky

here to see Uncle

Shane bust a few skulls, huh?

Hey, Mom.

I'll see you later.

Love you, honey.

-Have a good day, guys.

-See you, bro.

Come on now.

What do you think, huh?

-Bye, Nicky.

-Huh?

What do you think, huh?

-Wait.

Hey, wait.

Put me down.

Oh, no.

You're with me today.

Come on now.

Get out there.

We're going.

What do you think?

NICKY: No.

SHANE: No?

What do you think?

Who's the best

champ in the world?

NICKY: Franchise.

SHANE: Come on, louder.

Franchise!

I tell you what, kiddo.

As much as I'd love to

take you with me today,

I need you to stay here

and hold down the fort.

What do you think?

-OK.

-All right?

I tell you what.

Your mom means well, she does.

But I promise you, you

hold the fort down today,

and I'll definitely have

you at my next match.

What do you think?

Deal?

You bet.

All right, man.

Keep your eye out.

OK.

Told you that.

AMBER: Nicky, run!

Dad.

Son of a bitch.

We're gonna have this

discussion once and for all.

This bullshit stops.

I want you to look at

that goddamn poster.

That face is front and

center for a reason.

I draw people into

the goddamn building.

Sure.

I'm gonna try to

keep my composure.

Now.

All those goddamn checks

you've given me that

have bounced--

boing, boing, boing.

Like Paul Heyman's.

Like Vince McMahon's.

Like Jim Crockett's.

You told me you were different.

That Cody Knotts

would be different.

That this company

would be different.

And god damn it, it's

the same fucking thing.

We got a private gig,

and they want you.

Another one of these big

harebrained schemes of yours.

Suddenly, you've got a private

gig, and they just want me.

They want to pay all that money

you're owed plus extra in cash.

All you gotta do is get

on the bus tomorrow.

So the money upfront

when I get on the bus.

Cash.

Before the show.

West Virginia Penitentiary.

Who the fuck wants a private

gig at an empty prison?

Tomorrow, you get on that bus.

I get there tomorrow, if

you don't have cash to place

in that palm right there--

Oh, the green will be legit.

Two seconds after

that, that palm

will be around your throat.

You'll find out what

Gary Wolfe found out,

and you'll find out

what Billy found

out-- that breaking necks is

like a part-time hobby for me.

Cash, tomorrow.

You're handing me money when

I walk on that bus tomorrow.

Yep.

With the back money you owe me.

Yep.

Well, brother, as of tomorrow,

you've bought yourself

a Franchise for one more night.

OK.

My patience is gone.

It won't be after

you get that cash.

We'll see.

Matt Hardy, he's

a good one too.

Shane, now hey, brother.

Hey, brother.

How you doing, brother?

What the hell are you--

[interposing voices]

Let me get this for you.

So the kid's aunt

says, hey, you know,

it'd be good if you saw these

kids, all these beautiful kids.

Lovely kids around here.

[kids chatting]

RODDY: Stay in trouble.

SHANE: Who is that, brother?

You bet.

She knows Carny.

Do you know Carny?

You speak English?

That was a shot.

Did you hear what

she said to me?

She's here for the interview,

the one I told you about.

You must be Sarah.

-I don't know.

-I have no idea.

I can't hear a thing.

Me neither.

But are you good enough

for Extreme Rising?

Mr. Knotts, I--

Shh.

No, no, no.

Just call me Cody.

Well, Cody.

I'm here because I believe in

your style of pro wrestling.

I've done extensive

market research,

and I see no reason

why Extreme Rising

can't be the biggest wrestling

association in the world.

With the proper

marketing, of course.

It's all about putting

your best assets forward,

in and out of the ring.

Well, I'm sold.

You want me?

On your team?

Of course, sugar.

What about the money?

Consider this an early deposit.

So why don't you follow me.

Why are you friends with him?

Franchise?

Yeah.

Uh.

You know, everybody gets a

big head at a certain point

in their career.

Sometimes, I

question his motives.

We all tick to a

different clock.

But as long as I've known him,

he puts his personal honor

above everything.

We-- we cover each other's back,

but we're not all the same.

In a strange way,

we're a family.

Just really dysfunctional.

You know, but don't

let him scare you.

OK.

And if he comes growling

at you, let me know.

He already has.

Oops.

You kinda gotta get thick skin.

You're doing good.

Hey.

Plenty of room for

you in this seat, too.

Did you miss me?

No.

But you certainly missed me.

You're such an ass.

I'm the Franchise, baby.

So you did miss me.

Maybe.

Move over.

What the fuck, Shane?

Laugh at that, bitch.

What the fuck is

wrong with you?

I--

What the fuck is

wrong with you?

I'm sorry, Roddy.

I didn't mean to fuck with

your little piece of ass.

I like my women all natural.

Have a nice day.

Are you ready?

I guess we can try it.

[music playing]

Today, you'll meet

your most daunting foes.

For once, the outcome

will not be predetermined.

Win, and you will be

rewarded with wealth

beyond your wildest imagination.

You have the chance to be

heroes, to challenge the gods.

Now turn over your

phones and enter the area

to achieve your destiny.

Holy shit.

Where are you taking us?

Is it safe in there?

Do we have the right address?

Sir.

Your phone.

Please.

I don't have a phone.

Mr. Piper.

I don't have a phone.

If I had one, I

wouldn't give it to you.

Now leave me alone.

Hey, hi, everybody.

Hacksaw, you're here?

How's it going?

Hello.

Good to meet you.

Something isn't right here.

It's blood.

Hey, there's blood

on the stage here.

She's being an emo chick.

It's corn syrup.

Don't fuck this up for

me, you understand?

I'm sorry.

How can I make this up to you?

SHANE: Hey, were

there girls here?

[laughter]

[animal noises]

I know.

It's a good thing

he's sexy 'cause

he's like, small in the brain.

Hey, look.

It's ET.

Dude, I so want to jam

on these busted ass drums.

[playing badly]

Baby.

Oh yeah, baby.

You sure you love Christ?

Trying to get right with Jesus.

You're sick.

Baby, I love it.

Yeah.

Mr. Angle.

Where is everybody?

It's supposed to be

a surprise, remember?

Sir.

Hey.

Hold it.

Hold on.

Hey.

Hey!

What the hell's going on here?

Let me out.

Let me out!

Kurt!

What the hell?

Pittsburghers know how

to kill the undead.

I'm gonna find another way.

You are gonna make a

fine addition to my horde.

I don't think so.

Oh my god!

Yeah!

Whoo!

Yeah!

Fucking zombies.

I love it.

Bring it.

Yeah!

[yelling]

It's like Zombie

Apocalypse 2000.

ANGUS: Shane, I hope the

piece of ass was worth it.

I've got your whole family now.

RODDY: Shane.

-Nicky.

RODDY: Get back!

Nicky!

Get the hell back, Shane!

God damn it!

What's happening?

Hacksaw.

Huddle, huddle.

Remember the riot of '81?

-Yeah, I remember.

Yeah.

-All right.

Wedge.

Let's go!

Fucker.

Die, fucker.

Game over.

Fatality.

Get something against the door.

Come on.

Come on, move it.

Come on.

Let's go.

Move it over.

All right.

Move, move, move.

Move!

There we go.

You are fucking

kidding me, right?

We're gonna die here, and

you're getting your rocks off.

Hey, it's all good, Roddy.

Don't be intimidated, man.

Sometimes, you just

fucking piss me off.

She's gonna die if we

don't get her out of here.

No, she's gonna die

over my dead body.

That's what's

gonna happen if we

don't get our ass out of here.

She's gonna fucking die.

You understand that, man?

Hey, hotshot.

Yes.

Get your ass in fucking gear.

Yes.

Fucking move.

I've gotta get

out of Moronville.

You son of a bitch.

No, Shane.

Shane, no.

No.

Get out of my way, bimbo.

Hey, man.

You've got more

shit to worry about.

Stop it.

We need to get the

fuck out of here.

Stop it.

What are you doing?

Are you guys ready to use

your roid rage on someone

other than each other?

SHANE: Yeah, 'cause I'm gonna

stretch his fucking ass.

All right.

However, if you want to live,

you have to do it my way.

Who the hell do

you think you are?

The bitch that's gonna

save your sorry ass.

Fucking son of a bitch.

It's time you listen.

Oy vey.

We need to work together here.

Franchise, come on.

We need to work together

to get out of this.

Agreed.

That's enough.

Let's go.

This ain't over, bitch.

Let's just run for it.

Don't you ever use

your bigger head?

Sit.

Shane.

I need you to

shoot with me here.

About what?

What happened

between you and Angus?

Shane, look at me.

I need to know the truth here.

Look at me.

What happened between

you and Angus?

I-- I killed his brother Billy.

I screwed up a Tombstone

in the ring there.

No, you didn't Shane.

Billy didn't tuck his damn head.

Not how Angus sees

it though, is it?

So he wants revenge?

Who cares?

We can outrun them.

You moron.

You want to run?

Go for it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Let's go.

Let's gear up.

Are you guys coming?

Hey.

Hey, wait for me.

Whoa.

OK, that's great.

But we're still trapped in here.

Hey, maybe we can

find a way to the roof.

That still doesn't

get us out of here.

Piper, you think you

could smash the lock

off the gate with that?

Yeah, no problem.

How the hell you

even gonna think

about getting to that door?

We're gonna smash them

bad boys up, that's how.

I have a better idea.

Get up here.

I am not going down

that dirty tunnel.

You're not gonna have

a choice, sweetie.

Get down there.

Come on.

It's clear.

Hey.

Could somebody give me a hand?

You guys go.

Go.

We'll catch up.

Go!

Jesus!

Go, man, go.

I got it.

Go!

-You got it.

You got it.

You got it, man.

Yeah, come on.

Yeah.

Oh god, I hope I reboot.

Reboot, reboot, reboot!

[scream]

Oh my god!

Jesus.

Fuck.

Son of a bitch.

Go, go, go!

Whoa!

Help me.

Help me get this door shut.

Where's Matt at?

MATT: Help!

I'm gonna go save him.

Oh my god!

No.

No!

Matt, baby, please.

I'm s-- it's OK.

I'm s-- baby.

No, god, no, no!

I love you, baby.

Reby, get away from him!

No.

No!

Oh god.

No!

Oh god.

I need your brains.

This way.

I just-- I just wanna tell you,

if I should bite it tonight,

I just wanna make

sure I told you,

thank you very much for

helping me 30 years ago.

No, no, brother.

It's been my privilege.

It's been my honor, brother.

But hey, nothing's gonna

happen to you, man.

But if something happens

to me, you call Debra.

You know my wife.

You call my wife.

-Oh shit.

Oh shit.

Oh shit!

Jesus.

Open.

Sh-- Shane.

Shane.

Shane?

What the hell?

Shane, open the door.

Open up.

Die, you bastards.

Son of a bitch.

Get out of here, you bastards!

Come on.

Jobbers die, not main eventers.

You asshole.

All right.

We're free.

Let's make a run for it.

Crack whores are more

cautious than you.

What the hell were you doing?

Move it.

-Jesus, bitch.

SHANE: This way, baby.

Screw those morons.

TAYA: Yeah, bitch.

My man's smarter than you.

Hold on.

Son of a bitch is locked.

Shit.

I'm exhausted.

We could take a break, honey.

But just for a minute.

You have no idea where

we're going, do you?

Sure, I do.

Come on, you kidding me?

What we did-- what

we did was wrong.

This was wrong.

So you'd rather be worm food?

No, of course not.

Look, the point

of mind of this is

we're both still alive, honey,

and that's all that counts,

isn't it?

I mean, the cops will

investigate this,

and I'll be a hero.

You don't care if they die?

Would you rather I pretend

about a piece of shit

like Billy?

I-- there's-- no, no.

I don't believe you.

He was your friend.

Look, I mean, he might still

be alive here, sweetheart.

But let's be real clear

and honest with each other.

He might still be alive, might,

if you hadn't screwed him.

What the hell was that for?

I thought it was

just a stage persona,

but you really are

just a fucking ass!

But you know you

loved it though.

I did love it.

But I grew up.

Fucking bitch will

learn her lesson now.

Fuck her.

No, no, no.

Don't stop.

Come on.

You're still alive.

Oh my god.

You're not gonna believe this.

I can't believe-- I can't

believe what Shane did.

I can't believe it.

He killed Billy.

He murdered Billy.

Not possible.

No way.

Shane's an asshole.

He's not a killer.

Oh really?

He did it to get me back.

Then why didn't he kill me?

Because he knew you'd never

take me back after what I did.

Oh my god.

This is because of you?

It's not my fault, I told you.

It was Shane.

Doesn't matter.

Keep moving.

Come on.

Keep going.

I'll keep these fuckers busy.

Die!

Die again, you son of a bitch.

Die, die!

You're really starting

to piss me off.

I hate zombies.

Damn it.

Now we're talking.

Die.

Die!

I'm gonna put you on ice.

Freeze your ass off.

See how you like it.

Zombie killing's hard.

First time I had the pencil.

Oh my god.

Motherfucker.

You'll make a good

battering ram, babe.

Come on, guys.

I'm not going down like this.

Fuck!

[screaming]

Bye bye, bitches.

Shit.

Fuck.

Shit.

Mother Mary.

Mother of God.

Motherfucker.

Catholic.

Money, money, money.

Hey, Ed.

Shit.

It's you.

Let's go.

It's over, Shane.

I eat chumps like you

for breakfast, punk.

You're way too indie-licious

for the Franchise.

Look around you, Shane.

You're already dead.

You killed my brother.

Now I'll kill you.

Are you kidding me?

Are you fucking kidding me?

I murdered nobody.

But you, punk, you fucking

massacred my entire family.

We both know the truth, Shane.

Let the truth be the last

words from your lips.

I did it.

I fucking did it.

And I loved it.

I couldn't care less

about that fucking whore.

So you think these mindless

pets can handle a Franchise?

Come and fucking get it.

Roddy.

[music playing]

Come kill me, you

redheaded stepchild.

What are you doing?

Stop it.

You fucking throwback,

redheaded Carrot Top.

Come on.

It's not worth it.

RODDY: Fuck him.

Reason for legal

freaking abortions too.

Do you see anything?

Sarah.

Look.

SARAH: What was that?

[music playing]

They're coming, kid.

Shit.

I hate zombies.

They're assholes.

That's only the beginning.

I beat cancer.

This ain't nothing.

I'm better than you, Piper.

Screw you!

Rowdy Roddy Piper doesn't

die for some weekend warrior.

I'm an icon.

Ask Hogan.

I need more power.

Granted.

I don't know.

Are we gonna make it?

Oh, little lady.

You know what?

The shameful part is

not getting knocked out.

The shameful part

is not getting up.

I wanna get up.

Yeah.

I'm gonna find us a path.

OK?

I'm a zombie-killer.

I know.

Yeah.

Wa-- Over here, you

ugly motherfuckers.

Roddy!

Come on.

Is that Shane?

Yeah, that's Shane.

What the hell happened up here?

I know what you did, man.

I-- I can't take it anymore.

I had a hole in my heart, man.

But when your best friend

comes and stabs your heart.

I can't explain

that kind of pain.

So you know, if you're gonna

kill me, go ahead and try now.

'Cause if I die,

you're gonna die.

You wanna die, then we

can just die right here.

I don't give a shit anymore.

Shane deserves to die.

You fucking son of a bitch.

You don't know pain

till the Franchise

beats your fucking ass.

Shh.

I never liked you anyway, bitch.

Troy, it's me,

your brother Shane.

Stop.

Stop, Troy.

Come on.

Stop.

Don't make me have to hurt you.

Come on, stop.

Troy, don't.

Don't make me.

Don't, Troy, don't.

Please, please, please.

Don't, don't, don't.

Oh, you motherfucker.

Piece of fucking shit.

You have no idea, you piece

of shit, what pain can be.

You wanna play games?

Then let's play.

Nicky?

Nicky.

Aw, Nicky.

What have they done to you?

Come on.

Shane.

Don't you dare.

SHANE [VOICEOVER]: Who's

the best champ in the world?

NICKY [VOICEOVER]: Franchise.

SHANE [VOICEOVER]:

Come on, louder.

Franchise!

NICKY [VOICEOVER]: Franchise!

SHANE [VOICEOVER]:

I'll definitely

have you at my next match.

What do you think?

Deal?

NICKY [VOICEOVER]: You bet.

Mom.

[music playing]

Come on, buddy.

Come on, Shane.

We need higher ground.

Oh, fuck.

Looks like I'll

have to do it myself.

This is fucking ridiculous.

Sorry, Mountain.

End game.

[scream]

It's hurting him.

Kill the other bitch.

Piper.

Your time is over.

This-- this is my time.

You're nothing but

the All-American Bully.

I hate a bully.

You make them, I

break them, buddy.

Die, you motherfucker.

[scream]

[music playing]

Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies (2014) - full transcript