Poslední mohykán (1947) - full transcript

Jaroslav Marvan
in the Comedy

THE LAST OF THE MOHICANS

Based on the Play
Adaptation and Screenplay by

Director of Photography
Camera Assistant

Music by
Film Symphonic Orchestra Conducted by

Art Director / Art Director Assistants
Set Designer

Make Up / Costume Designer
Recording Secretary

Sound Editor
Film Editor

Executive in Charge of Production
Assistants

Starring

Cast



Directed by

Made by the Group
In the Studios

Number 97.

A statue of Napoleon. I shall open
the bidding at 2,000 crowns.

- 2,100 crowns.
- It's 2,100 crowns.

- 2,200 crowns.
- It's 2,200 for the second time.

- 2,500 crowns.
- It's 2,500 crowns.

- It's 2,500 for the second time.
- 3,000 crowns.

- It's 3,000 crowns.
- 3,100 crowns.

- 3,200 crowns.
- It's 3,200 crowns.

- It's 3,200 for the second time.
- 3,500 crowns.

It's 3,500 crowns.
It's 3,500 for the second time.

- 4,000 crowns.
- It's 4,000 for the second time.

- 4,100.
- It's 4,100 crowns.



- 4,200.
- It's 4,200 for the second time.

- 4,500.
- It's 4,500 for the second time.

- 5,000.
- It's 5,000 crowns.

- 5,100.
- It's 5,100 crowns.

- 5,200.
- It's 5,200 crowns,

- 5,200 for the second time and...
- 5,500.

It's 5,500 crowns,
5, 500 for the second time and...

- 6,000.
- It's 6,000 crowns.

It's 6,000 crowns.
6,000 for the second time and...

- 6,500.
- It's 6,500. 6,500 for the second time

and sold at 6,500 crowns.

Let's go home, Anthony, that man has
spoiled all my appetite for auctioning.

- As you wish, sir.
- What is it? I see.

He wanted to put me out of humor.

Stop talking, pack up, we're leaving!
No debating!

Number 98.
Andrey Petrovich Ryaboshkin.

"An Angel Leading St. Peter out from
the Gaol", I shall open the bidding

at 1,200,000 crowns.
- 1,210,000 crowns.

It's 1,210,000 crowns,

1,210,000 for the second time

and sold at 1,210,000 crowns.

I beg your pardon, sir,
sell the statue to me.

- I'll give you 500 crowns more.
- Pooh!

You're standing in the wrong way.
You'll pay a 20 crown fine.

- How much?
- Twenty crowns.

Twenty crowns? That's practically
a bargain. There you are.

- Have a cigarette.
- Thank you, sir.

You'll go to Nusle in the morning
for the column clock and after that

down to Karlin for the repaired
frames. Understand!

Then, you'll go up to Dejvice
to painter Barvinek, to ask

whether he finished conserving
the paintings of Navratil and Kosarek.

Before lunch you'll go to Vinohrady
to fetch the varnish from Mr. Petrik

and from there, you'll go down to
Vysehrad to cabinetmaker Vejmelka,

to ask whether he repaired that
Louis chair.

Am I supposed to get to all
tha places this year?

I'll think of something for you to do
in the afternoon. No debating!

Hullo, sir,
I'll add 1,000 crowns.

Even if you add two thousand,
it wouldn't be of any help.

Father!

Gee, Tony, gee!

Don't get me angry, Tony, or I'll
show you! Gee!

Come!

Gee! Gee! Gee!

Damn it, don't nettle me,
or I'll break the whip on you!

Stop it, you brute, or I shall not be
liable for my actions! Leave it alone!

I know fellows like you, you pity
a horse, but nearly kill a man.

As the Chairman of the Club
of Animal Lovers

I have means to prevent you from
torturing the poor creature.

Why should I be ashamed,
it hurts me more than Tony here.

Yelling won't make the wheels move.
I'm done with you!

- Maybe if you push the cart a bit.
- You see! Why didn't you say so?

There's no debating! Folks, don't
poke about and help us.

It counts for you too, young man,
come and help us.

- We need three more men, come on!
- That should be enough, sir.

If you don't spurt now, Tony,
then you're a diddler

and we're finished. Understand?
- At my command! Let's go.

- One, two, three.
- Gee! Gee!

KOHOUT'S ANTIQUE SHOP. PAINTINGS,
CHINA, GLASS AND FURNITURE

Father will be here in the evening,
he'll surely give you good advice.

- The Prague Baroque is his specialty.
- Thank you, Miss Zdena.

- Goodbye, Mrs. Kuskova.
- I'm most grateful.

- Ah, hullo Doctor Kohoutova. Goodbye.
- Goodbye, Mrs. Kuskova.

- Why are you so worried?
- Father is coming back.

Already? I'd better get lost
or I'll get a dozen orders.

Look, Doctor Helen,
what we've bought.

- That's Josef Manes.
- Indeed.

- It's so beautiful, Anthony!
- Why Anthony, it's always Tony for you.

Is this all you've bought today,
Anthony?

One ill-bred young man made the boss
flip his lid.

- And where is father, anyway?
- You know how it is with him.

It's no use talking, you know him,
Miss Helen... Doctor Helen.

I'll hop upstairs.
If someone comes, ring the bell.

- And if father comes, sound the alarm!
- There's no debating about that!

- It's nice, isn't it?
- It is.

- Cermak.
- Beautiful.

This way.

- You have a wonderful apartment.
- Magnificent.

Oh no, we lead a very modest life.

These are our exhibition rooms.
You can buy anything you see here.

Buy? We don't have enough money
for all that.

That's another story.

- Goodbye.
- Farewell.

- I'll call on you next week.
- I shall be most pleased. Goodbye.

Zdena, if father sees you reading here,
the fat would be in the fire.

Fat is in the fire ten times a day,
anyway.

- Firemen would never come to our house.
- Now, now!

A terrible thing happened, mummy,
I'm afraid father saw me with Marek.

- When and where?
- A moment ago at Charles Bridge.

He couldn't have spotted you.
Because if he saw you with Marek,

he would probably shoot him and maybe,
even you. You know how he hates him.

- But tell me why?
- You found him yourself. We mustn't

do that, father resent such things.
- Don't talk like that, Zdena.

- Father does have his hobbies...
- He has so many hobbies that they'd

be enough for a whole regiment.

Father is here. Go downstairs.

Where is Helen, Anthony?

She was here a minute ago.
She's not here now.

She's not. And Zdena likewise, eh?
They are both keen on idleness.

Idleness. How can you say that, boss.

Besides,
is it fit for a philosophy doctor

or for an art school graduate
to sit in the shop as salesgirls?

It will end soon.

I've found a fianc? for Helen
and a job for Zdena.

- They'll be jumping with joy.
- I must insist on you not messing

into affairs that are none of your
business! Once and for all!

Alright. I'll do whatever you wish,
but don't yell at me.

I have a brother-in-law in Liberec.

Go to hell with that brother-in-law
of yours.

- Who allowed you to leave the shop, eh?
- I just hopped upstairs.

While there's a lot of work to do
and quite a mess here!

- I didn't stop since the very morning.
- Not stopping and allowing such a mess

won't be of any help to me.
Stop and have things in order!

What do you say to that, Helen?

- It's nice.
- Nice? It's magnificent!

It cost me a lot of money.

It's almost 3 o'clock, I must be
at the stadium at 5 o'clock.

- You've got training again.
- No, mum,

university championship.
They're counting on me, you know?

- I don't really know, son.
- Send me someplace. A bit further,

to Branik or to Modrany,
for some vegetables.

We shall see. Go and study now.

Mummy, please, I need to get out
for a little while.

Charlie is waiting for me downstairs.
You'll think of something, won't you.

Where am I supposed to find so many
excuses.

I'm going without permission then,
even if it causes an uproar.

- And you'll get it with me.
- Don't even think about it!

If father sees you somewhere with
Karl, he'll shoot him.

He won't outwit Charlie. He said he'd
give father a good talking-to.

To father...!

Look, children.
Isn't it a magnificent piece?

At last I have a Napoleon
as I always dreamt of.

- Majestic, sovereign, grandiose.
- Magnificent!

- A remarkable work of art.
- What?

We must find a pompous place
for him.

Zdena, you'll take that Napoleon
over there to the shop.

Very well.
What is Jaroslav doing?

- Studying.
- I see.

We've got plenty to do here,
could Jaroslav go to our greengrocer

in Branik and get
some spinach for tomorrow's lunch?

That's out of the question! Spinach!
Studying goes first. No debating!

Sit, sit.
How are your studies going?

- Very well, father.
- That's fine.

I'm just a bit groggy from all that
studying. I'd like to go out.

I won't let you out until you pass
your first state exam.

Repeat what are your orders now.

Remind Helen to go to Mr. Landa
for that jug. - And?

Tell mummy in the evening, not to
forget about leftovers from lunch.

And to Mrs. Janska I am to call her
that we won't be coming on Sunday.

One needs ten pairs of eyes
to keep an eye on you.

Just a moment.

- Where is the silver sieve?
- What do you need it for?

Nothing, but it's not here!
That's mischief!

A fork among spoons!
Another mischief!

And a napkin, what's a napkin doing
here?! A third mischief!

Helen is to blame for all this,
she used to be more diligent.

She must be thinking about that...
What's the name of that foul man?

- That Doctor Marek!
- Yes, Doctor Marek, but Helen hasn't

been seeing him for a long time.
- It was high time.

If I ever see them together,
I think I would shoot him!

- Good day, miss. - Good day.
- May I talk to Mr. Kohout?

- I shall call him, if you wish.
- Don't do it, Miss Helen.

And you, sir, if you're coming
to stir the bile to the boss

with that Napoleon, I must warn you
that the boss is keen on shooting.

- Has he brought down many?
- A good many.

- He must be a good shooter then.
- He is.

How will I get him?

This way, round the corner.
Wait, I'll tell him.

- The stairway is wide enough.
- It is?

- You'll fly down well.
- Thank you very much.

- Farewell, miss.
- Goodbye.

I'm not getting any younger and this
constant agitation doesn't

add to my health either. I can't
take care of everything myself.

- Where are you going? - To open the door.
- Why? The maid isn't at home?

- I think she is. - She surely is.
- I'll see for myself right now.

- What is it?
- A gentleman wishes to talk to you.

Architect Karl Becvar.

I don't know him. Show him in.
Tell him, however, that I only

have two minutes for him. Go!
- Yes, sir.

Well, well, you won't see any
surprise.

The gentleman asking me to speak
to him is no prince.

- Good day, sir.
- Good day...

You won't make a fool of me.
Get out of here!

I offer two thousand more
for that Napoleon, sir.

Don't waste your time,
it's not for sale.

That's a pity!
That's a great pity!

Good God, that's remarkable.
Antique speiss, mid 19th century?

It's not for sale either.
Nothing in my apartment

is for sale to you.

Your daughters? A masterpiece.

I've just had enough, get out!
The door is over there!

Afoul, impudent man, eh?
How he was looking at you.

He'd be a splendid wooer for one
of you!

Wait, Helen.
When I'm talking about wooers...

- You'll turn 24 next month.
- Yes, father.

You'll get married.
It's high time for wedding.

- I've found a fianc? for you.
- A fianc??

Aren't you forgetting that I'm of
age and I can find a husband myself?

That's not important, I decide here.
The man I've chosen for you

is not very handsome,
but that's not a must for a man.

He's not as tall as you. Just a bit
shorter. About to your shoulders.

He has a small belly and a large head.
A clever one. And I'll set

the wedding day in a month, alright?
- No, father.

Everything is alright then.

What are we having for lunch
tomorrow?

I wanted spinach, but none of you...

Very well.

Would you like spinach for lunch
tomorrow, Jaroslav?

Spinach? I hate it.

- What did you say?
- I hate it.

Off you go to Branik for four pounds
of spinach. And be back in no time.

I've just recalled a splendid advice
in the Doctor Yourself book.

Helen, Zdena, fetch a glass of water
and a spoon. Hurry up!

- Yes, father.
- Hurry up, girls.

- What is it, father?
- Nothing foolish!

When I do something, it's always
well contemplated.

There's no doubt about that.

Here it is, father. - And the spoon.
Here it is, father. - Very well.

A sip of water is quite refreshing.

This should be done several times
a day. And mother shall do it,

when I'm absent.
Open your mouth.

- Open your mouth.
- It's delicious.

Open.

I have a headache, father,
may I take a walk?

That won't help. Go to the bathroom
and immerse your hands in hot water.

- Yes, father.
- Open your mouth, Helen.

Don't forget to remind me that
Mr. Veverka will be waiting for me

at the tram at 4 o'clock on Monday.
- I'll be back as soon as possible.

Wait, Jaroslav!

Open your mouth.

- Go.
- Goodbye.

- Could I have some as well?
- Yes, indeed...

Excellent, excellent.

Just a moment, what are you doing
here? You left long ago!

I wanted to ask you, whether
I could have a look

at that magnificent picture.
May I? Pardon me.

Beautiful. Tremendous.

It's Jaroslav Cermak, isn't it.
Congratulations, sir.

- Sir!
- Yes?

Only the fact that I am impressed
by your interest in art and by your

knowledge saved you from being
seized by the collar

and kicked through the door.
- Of course.

I shall try to be more knightly.

Look here, young man.

This old house was built in the
second half of the 17th century.

That is correct, I'm aware of that.
In A.D. 1685 by the renowned

builder Petr Kosina?
- Yes, that is correct.

And even at that time, this builder
did not forget

about a rather important opening,
which we still call the door.

And you should use this precious

gift of civilization.
Immediately, please!

I am most grateful for this
knightly, almost literary

instruction to depart.
Ladies, sir, farewell.

- Father?
- What is it?

What's the matter?

The afternoon mail is on your
desk in the study.

- What? And you're telling me only now?
- Did you let me say anything?

Very well, you needn't apologize for
your negligence. No debating!

Oh, mummy.

- Karl! - Yes?
- Where did you get such a silly idea?

Well, I saw your father enter
the auction house.

So, I followed him, bid against
him and the rest was an afterpiece.

I just wanted to get to know him.
You do understand, don't you?

It was insane.
Coming here to our lion's den.

You know that I liked that lion's
den of yours?

Unfortunately, I didn't find a lion.
Just a man, who tried to look like

a lion, but I liked him very much.
- What? You like my father?

I like you more, of course, because
you're so alike your father. Let's go.

Oh no, what makes you think I will.
I can't go, don't force me.

- Get in. At least for an hour.
- You're out of your mind.

- I've got so much work to do.
- At least for a little while.

- That's absolutely out of the question.
- Don't worry. - Let's go then!

Why aren't we going?

Mother...

Mother!

I'm coming, father.
Do you need anything?

Why don't you come in,
when I'm calling you.

Remind me precisely at 7 o'clock
next Friday

that I have a board meeting of the
Club of Animal Lovers at 8 o'clock.

- I will.
- Brother Jaroslav sent a letter,

I haven't even read it,
I'm so busy.

- May I read it?
- If you wish.

Read it aloud, so that I needn't
read it myself.

"Dearest Brother,
I believe that we were angry

at each other for long enough."
So do I.

"It's time to think of what
awaits us.

Therefore, I offer my hand
and let us be friends again.

Either come over or I will come
to visit you.

Let me know how you decided.
Kisses to your dear family

and best regards, Jaroslav"

He taught you a lesson.
He didn't teach me anything!

On the contrary, with this letter
he admits he is to blame for our rift

and he is trying to make it good.
I'll show him my generosity.

- I shall visit him myself.
- When? - I don't know yet.

Hullo, yes.
A long-distance call.

Hullo, Borivoj Kohout speaking.
Who am I speaking to?

It's me, your brother Jaroslav.
Did you get my letter, Borivoj?

Just a moment ago.
I've decided to come over.

That would make me very happy.
Are you coming soon?

I don't know yet.
You know I can't

leave that easily.
I'm very busy.

I must look after everything,
instruct everyone,

it's getting too much on me.

I'm sorry to hear that, but I'll
be visiting the directorate in Prague

ten days from know.
So, I'll come over for a visit.

Very well, come over.
I'm looking forward to seeing you.

Just a moment, my wife wants to tell
you something.

Be sure to come, Jaroslav,
we all can't wait to see you.

We'll have a jolly good time again.
Goodbye.

A jolly good time, eh?
Wait and see.

If you think he'll be taking you
on trips and balls, you're terribly

mistaken. Without my consent, the
children won't even go to the park!

If your father were a little more
susceptible.

I'd go to him and ask him for
permission to go out with you.

Don't even think about it, dreamer.

There must be a different way how to
get to him. But I don't know how yet.

Maybe I'll think of something.

You know that his weak spot might be
his complacence. We shall see.

- What's the time?
- It's almost two o'clock.

Jaroslav must be competing now.

- Do you want to see him?
- Let's go. - Let's go then.

What did I tell you? Kohout is not
in form, he didn't train enough.

Don't worry, he'll do alright.

- He won't catch up.
- Don't worry, he'll win.

- He catch up after all.
- He'll make it. Kohout!

- I'm so happy, Jaroslav.
- You know I had a hard time?

Novak got a wrist watch from his dad
for his 100 meters in crawl.

- I wonder what you'll get.
- I'll be glad

if I don't get one over the mug
from my dad and it won't be a cap.

He's a born Napoleon.

Yes, yes, yes.
This is a worthy place at last.

Everyone must admit that, am I right?

- It is divine. - Exquisite.
- Superb. - Splendid.

And now, mother, I shall hang
the painting.

Stop getting in my way
and help me a little.

- Of course we will.
- Fetch the painting, Jaroslav,

Helen, tell the maid to bring a chair
and Zdena to bring a few thick books.

- Where do you want to hang it?
- Above the door.

- What is it?
- Wouldn't a step-ladder be better?

I don't need your advice! Put packing
paper on the floor, hurry up!

I will, father.

- Everybody come here!
- Here's the painting, father.

Put it down!
Can't you see I'm measuring!

- Here's the chair.
- The chair will go here.

- Here are the books.
- Put them here, I said a few books

and not four! Take it! Hold it!
- Here's the paper, father.

- Put the paper over here, on the floor.
- The chair is standing there.

Then take the chair and put the paper
on the floor!

- Help me, father.
- Over here.

Jaroslav, fetch a small and large
hammer and a chisel, go.

- We don't have a chisel, father.
- Then go to the tinsmith round

the corner, he'll lend it to you.
Ouch! Don't throw it like that!

Fetch some plaster, a cup of water
and an old spoon, hurry.

- Do we have plaster?
- We don't have plaster.

I should've thought so,
go and buy it.

Helen, go to the ironmonger's shop
and buy some different sized spikes.

Yes, father.

Mother, fetch me that iron folding
rule from the desk drawer, hurry.

- And what about me?
- Get a knife and a log from

the kitchen, so that we can cut it.
Understand? I should've thought so.

One has to think of everything.

- Father!
- There, you see!

- Be careful, father.
- I could have killed myself.

- Bring a step-ladder, quick.
- Right away, here's the rule.

A rule, every small child has to admit

that it won't work this way,
but I have to come to it myself.

- Where are you going?
- To the cellar for the step-ladder.

I'll get it, here, take this.

- What's that?
- I went for some plaster.

- Well...
- Here's the log and the knife.

- What? I need a pocket knife.
- It's in your pocket.

- I know that too.
- Here are the spikes, father.

- Are they of different sizes?
- Yes. - Excellent.

- Here's a chisel and a hammer.
- Don't give me everything at once.

I've got only two hands, don't I?
I need a saw.

- You broke it last week.
- Then go to the cabinetmaker

and borrow one from him, hurry.
- Yes, father.

- Here's the plaster.
- What should I do with it!

Should I mix it in my hand
or in my hat? - In your hat.

Put some in the old red cup!
Go on!

- Hurry up! - Where are you off to?
- For a saw. - It's sheer horror.

- I need a thinner auger.
- You broke it.

Go and borrow one from the caretaker,
hurry!

Mother, you take away the chair
and the books. Get it out of my way.

Be careful not to knock down
anything.

You're carrying it like...
Watch out, you see.

You'll cut a plug out of this,
three inches long

and two inches wide, square shaped.
And you'll cut it off with a saw.

Three inches.

- Mother! A pencil!
- A pencil!

- Here it is.
- You've got a pencil?

It's good to see you think.

- Where are you going?
- For an auger.

- Why is God so cruel to us.
- Only God knows.

Be careful, father.

It's alright, mother.
Go to the chemist for some arnica.

Yes, sir.

Come here, Jaroslav.
Hold that chisel. - Golly.

- Hold it. Are you holding it?
- I am.

What are you doing, you clumsy boy,
you amaze me.

Come here and hold it.
Hold it. That's a good boy.

Zdena!

- What are you doing here, Charlie?
- I was going to visit you as we agreed.

Come some other time,
hell broke loose at home.

- Good heavens, what happened?
- Father is hanging a painting.

- And where are you going?
- To the chemist's.

We have several wounded.
Look, me too.

You poor little thing,
you'll die of that.

You're so awful.

Give me the plug and the spike.
And the hammer.

Now, we shall leave it to dry out.
Well.

I'm really afraid. - Of what?
I've planned it to every small detail.

Postpone your visit at least
to tomorrow.

- But I'm busy tomorrow.
- Do what you want then.

The work is done.
We can be satisfied.

Everybody can go about their business
now, I'll repair the antique clock.

Take away the step-ladder,
clean up everything.

- He gave us a run.
- And a fair one.

- Where's father?
- In his study.

- Why are you so frightened?
- He's downstairs and wants to come up.

- Who? - Becvar! - What does he want?
- To give father a good talking-to.

- He won't have much time for talking.
- Father will shoot him.

- Why didn't you talk him out of it?
- I begged him not to,

but it was no use.
- When is he coming?

- Any minute. - That's a disaster.
- Terrible. - Horrible.

- We look awful.
- We must tidy up.

Whatever I do, I always end up
with this spare cog wheel.

I don't think I'll get it in.

It's a great pity to waste such
a young life. He looks good.

He's more handsome than that doctor
of yours.

- It's a matter of taste.
- And luck, dear sister.

That's Karl...

Well, I will...

Why isn't anyone answering the door?
Can't you hear the door bell?

- We didn't.
- Excuses.

What is it? - That gentleman
wishes to talk to you.

- Which gentleman?
- The one, who was here once already.

I didn't learn much, show him in.

Visitors...

This is most impudent!

"Dear Sir, allow me to briefly
discuss a matter, which imminently

concerns yourself and your own
personal interest.

Yours faithfully,
Karl Becvar."

In my own personal interest.
I'll shoot the man!

- Show him out!
- No, mummy. Tell him

to come some other time.
- Don't talk to him at all.

- Do away with him.
- Thank you for your advice.

- We didn't act well enough.
- Were we supposed to tell him

to invite him in?
- He would throw him out definitely.

I'm glad. If it's to be uncovered.
Better now than later.

- And it's highly important.
- Very well, this way, sir.

This way.

- After you.
- I'm at home, after you.

What did I tell you.

Helen, Zdena, don't you hear?
A customer is in the shop.

- I'm not going downstairs now.
- Do you want to wait for the shooting?

Then wait, if you wish.

My heart hardly beats, mum.

Maybe, he won't shoot him. Maybe,
he'll just hit him on the head.

I wrote a book about architect
Josef Hlavka,

a Czech patriot and a renowned
benefactor.

I wrote an extensive paper
on Prague Renaissance. And...

You wrote that you were coming
in my own personal interest.

I'm not interested in your activities.

I shall be very brief then.

- I can't hear them. They speak faintly.
- Father too?

That's bad, very bad.
He'll be shooting soon.

The decline of family morale
is becoming more and more appalling.

The father is not the head of the
family. A merely tolerated necessary

evil, who often has no say
in family matters.

I fully agree with that.
With everything!

Therefore, I have decided to write
a book about last of the Mohicans

of true manhood, who remained
faithful not only to their duties

as providers but also to their rights,
who remained the heads of their

families and who did not allow any
one to take over the family reigns.

Thus, I commenced with my search.

You would be amazed, what caricatures
of men I encountered.

What scarecrows, pussy-footers,
and footsloggers.

Fools, asses, tulips,
I can imagine that.

You cannot find a true man today.
There's no debating about that!

What's the matter?

I reached a conclusion that these
respectful men died out.

Until I learned about you.

What? About me? You don't say.

Whole Prague is talking about you.
And I heard stories about you

in Kolin, Plzen, Kardasova Recice
as well.

Even in small villages and towns
in Moravia.

Legends are told about you everywhere.
Thus, I've decided to meet you

in person at whatever cost.

For some time, I observed you
from afar.

Until I finally managed to get closer
to you in the auction house.

I know, I behaved rather clumsily.

On the contrary, my friend.
You were quite charming.

Continue, please.

However, I was highly impressed
by two scenes,

to which I was present.

May I ask which ones?

The one in which you announced to
your daughter you found her a fianc?.

And the one, in which you gave
a spoonful of water to your family.

These documented what unlimited
respect and obedience

you enjoy in your family.
That you are a god to them.

Your wish is their command,
your word is law.

My dear, precious friend,
your description was ingenious.

I want to write a book about you.
The Last Mohican of True Manhood.

Sir, I don't deserve such honor.

You certainly do.

- What's up?
- Father is fawning on him.

- No...
- He is!

I'm amazed.

I would like to get to know you
and your family as much as possible.

To observe you and your family
in your presence and absence as well.

I see. That's excellent.
I will enable you to study us

one by one. Let's say me, my wife,
my daughters and my son.

And together as a whole.
I will show you my family without me,

so that you can see, how everything
is running under my rule,

even if I'm absent.
- Yes.

You know, sir, I'm a cauldron.
Do you understand?

- Yes, you're a cauldron.
- A cauldron full of steam.

- Yes, a cauldron full of steam.
- Yes, indeed.

And my family are machines
driven by my steam, you see?

The first one is turning.

The second is running to and fro.

The third one is pulling.

The fourth one is lifting.

That's a magnificent comparison!

And you know what? I'll enable you
to start your study today.

- Today?
- I'll like things to be done at once.

I have thought about it, I'll arrange
everything. I'll go and visit

my brother, it won't be odd, as he
invited me in his letter.

And it's high time for me to leave.
Come, take this with you.

Depict everything truly,
without exaggerating.

You'll see how everything will be
running like a clock.

Hully! Mother, children, everyone
come here, quick.

- What do you want, father?
- You seem so happy.

I've decided to visit my brother.

It's six o'clock. My train leaves
at seven.

Unfortunately, you will be alone
tonight.

Mr. Becvar shall be so kind and come
in the evening to make you company.

Prepare everything necessary for
my trip. And something to eat,

I'll dine in the train.
Make sure everything is ready

before I change. And you, Helen,
don't forget to call the club at 7.30

and tell them I will not come
to the board meeting tonight.

Hurry up.
Dismissed.

It's running finely, eh?
Now, excuse me for a moment.

Are you really staying for dinner
tonight?

I should obey the master,
shouldn't I?

Tell me, Mr. Becvar, what kind of
magic did you use on my husband?

No magic is needed with such a fine
man, madam.

There's no debating about that!

Mummy, can I invite Marek for dinner
tonight?

Of course, tell him to come.

- And I'll invite Tonya.
- What Tonya?

Tonya Vackova.
I've been dating her for 2 months.

Some news I learn, eh?

Since the last meeting, we have taken
action in 13 cases.

In one case, we have achieved
the torturer to be punished

by 48 hours of imprisonment.
- Which is hardly enough.

No interruptions, please.

Three new applicants are applying
for membership.

Only three? We must exert effort
to acquire new members

for our noble ideas.
- Yes, indeed.

Good evening, dear friends.
Remain seated.

Your daughter called that you were
leaving tonight.

Yes, that's right.
I missed the train.

And that's why I returned. Very well,
let us continue. Shall we?

- Who prepared the report?
- I did, Chairman.

Deliver it then.

- Should I bring the sandwiches?
- Not yet.

We're waiting for Tonya.

Why did you invite that girl.
If father finds out.

Mr. Kohout surely won't find out.

The Lord forbid, else he'll
kill us all like flies.

Don't spoil it, mum. We've been
dating for 5 years

and it's the first time
my boyfriend was invited.

That's Tonya.

Such things are happening here
and I can't prevent them.

I'm very proud of you, Jaroslav.
You're my champion.

- Did you see that?
- Damn it.

That's all I needed.
So, they printed it, anyway.

If this paper gets into dad's hands,
I'm doomed.

He'll surely shoot me.
There's no debating about that!

Come on, don't be shy.
Allow me to introduce Tonya Vackova,

a grammar school undergraduate.
And this is my mother.

- Pleased to meet you, miss.
- Good evening.

Can I start serving dinner?

- Yes, Barbara.
- As you wish.

And in deposit books, we have
7,412 crowns and 55 hellers.

Are there any objections against
the treasurer's report?

No one, it is approved.
Let's proceed with new cases.

- Who wishes to begin?
- I do.

I heard that the tamer is torturing
lions in the circus that just came

to the city. If it is true, ladies
and gentlemen, I propose

to jointly go to the circus
and to jointly scold the tamer.

Is it truly heroic to torture
poor little lions?

We shall return to that after
thorough investigation.

Once again, I advise all members
not to refer their complaints

to the club, but to intervene
themselves immediately on site.

Father must have passed Beroun
by now.

We'll be much happier, when he's
passed Plzen.

Now then, Jaroslav.
Did you ask permission

before you went here, miss?
- I didn't. I share a room with

one fellow student and I won't ask
her permission.

- What is your father's profession?
- He's a tailor in Novy Knin. He has

a small shop. There's seven of us
kids and it's always jolly at home.

We're a rather open-mouthed family.
And when it gets too loud,

I slap them all. What is it?

And everything is fine again.

That girl will get far.

Our father would work with her.

I must keep asking you to act
as brave guardians

of dumb creatures at all times.
I believe, the day shall come,

when there are no torturers
or tortured in our country

and when animals turn to us
with confidence and love

as to their best and most loyal friends,
expressing thereby their gratitude.

Excellent.

- Does anyone else wish to speak?
- I do.

I propose to organize a ball next
month

in order to promote our efforts
and to acquire new members.

Splendid idea.

- It's time to change.
- Alright.

- Alright.
- Please, not so loud.

- Shall we dance?
- No, Mr. Becvar.

- At least you should share my worries.
- Why are you worried?

I have a notion father will return
quite unexpectedly.

But he must be beyond Plzen by now.

Why is my will so weak!

Chair the meeting, please, I am
leaving.

- I have guests at home.
- As you wish.

Not so loud, please.
People on the street must be staring.

We'll make ourselves the talk
of the town.

- What's the matter, mummy?
- Fa... father.

Hush! Father is back.

- Save himself who can!
- Are you joking or serious?

- Dead serious.
- Barbara, hurry up!

Put the extra plates and glasses
away. He'll kill us all.

Don't panic, mum.
I hide you and doctor in my room.

When I knock, you'll run into
the study, then to the dining-room,

to the hall and out of here.
Calm down, come on.

- Wait, run.
- Hurry up!

- I don't care about anything.
- Turn the radio off!

And you hold father in the hall,
to let us collect ourselves.

What a surprise!
Did you miss the train, Mr. Kohout?

Never mind, but what about your
expectations? Were they fulfilled?

Fulfilled? Surpassed!
I am thrilled.

I'm glad to hear that.

I've never missed a train in my life,
yet I do not regret.

When I see you all together,
I'll leave tomorrow after lunch.

We were worried something
happened to you, father.

What could ever happen to me?

We were mainly speaking about you.

I'm pleased to hear that.

- Did you enjoy yourself?
- Thank you, I had a splendid time.

- I'm glad to hear that.
- One moment, please.

- What is it?
- Forgive me for not thanking you

for your act of kindness enabling me
to spend such a lovely evening

abundant with family poetry, which
I shall never forget.

- You are a most wonderful man.
- It's a great weight of my mind.

- What weight?
- That you returned, sir.

- Why aren't you studying?
- I was until now, but...

Very well, it was enough for today,
rest is necessary.

- Would you like to eat something?
- A schnitzel, eggs or...

No, girls, I have eaten.
Make us a cup of black coffee, mother.

We shall talk with Mr. Becvar.
Sit down, I'll be right back.

Well, is everything as I said?

All my expectations are surpassed.
Absolutely surpassed.

- Very well.
- Thank you, sit down.

- I think some twenty...
- How many?

- Thirty visits and I can begin writing.
- I see, splendid.

To something confidential now. You
don't think I missed the train, eh?

Oh no, it dragged me back home,
when I imagined you here.

Your amazement, when you observe
the work of my mind. I said to myself:

You shall return in the thick of it.
And I entered.

As if your timing was precisely
premeditated.

- What about Jaroslav, did he study?
- He certainly did,

he peeped in only once.
- Very well.

And what do you think of my wife?

That she doesn't think with her brain
but yours.

I see, that's tremendous.
Your perception is excellent.

And what about my daughters?
I mean...

I understand. As to Miss Helen,
her nature is considerably similar

to that of your dear wife.
She'll make a wonderful wife.

As to Miss Zdena,
I shall be quite frank.

- Very well, proceed.
- Thank you.

If I stop coming here, it will be
because of her.

Wait, what did you say?
You don't like her of what?

- It's true she is often unrestrained.
- No, on the contrary, she is charming.

The truth is I fell madly in love
with her.

Yes. You can throw me out
this minute.

- You fell madly in love with her?
- I did.

- Really?
- Really.

- You shall have her.
- What?

- You shall have her!
- Thank you so much.

Oh no, she'll surely turn me down.
She will.

I beg your pardon, don't you know
where you are?

When I say: This is your fianc?,
she'll fall in love with you at once.

- There's no debating about that!
- It's hard to believe.

Come in!

- Coffee is served, father.
- We'll be there in a moment.

Yes, father.

You know what I'd like to experience
once in my life?

- What?
- To observe them unnoticed by anyone,

to see how everything is running,
how it's working,

when I'm not present.
- Yes, indeed.

That would be a great pleasure,
you know?

That would be a feast for my eyes!
Indeed.

Come.

Before we start our conversation,
I have something to tell you.

Helen, I told you I have a fianc?
for you.

I would like to announce
that I also have a fianc? for Zdena.

What do you say to that, Zdena?

Well...
Why aren't you answering?

Any man you bring

will be dear to me, father.

- Should I be proud?
- There's no debating about that.

Here is your fianc?, Zdena.
Why aren't you screaming with joy!

Oh my! My dear, beloved and only...

What a lithe woman!

Don't exaggerate, Zdena!
There is a limit to everything.

Have you ever seen a more ideal
family?

- Never.
- Have you ever seen more affection,

loyalty and concord?
- Never.

That's what I wanted to hear.

Let's sit down and have a chat.

- Did you put sugar in my coffee?
- I did.

Did you stir it?
Thank you.

I feel like a gardener, who
cultivated his orchard all his life

and finally, he's cropping delicious
fruit.

- Did you play?
- We wanted to, father...

Your fine family wanted to play
some pieces

from your rich repertoire.
- And did they show you?

Unfortunately not,
as you've just returned.

Well, mother, children, let us
play something to Mr. Becvar.

- The coffee will get cold, father.
- I'm more fond of music than coffee.

Jaroslav will fetch the stands, Zdena
the flute and Helen our scores.

And you will organize it, mother.
Hurry up.

You see, it's running well.
Everything must be done at once

and not later like at the offices.
There's no debating about that.

I don't like jazz. Our family is fond
of classical music.

Besides, me and my wife, we come from
musician families.

- We're ready, father.
- Alright, mother.

Don't forget to eternize all this
in your book.

- Don't worry, please.
- Thank you.

Well, children!

What is that?
Just a moment, wait.

Remain seated...
I'll be right back.

- I'll be right back.
- As you wish.

I wonder if father
really leaves tomorrow.

- I'd go to Tonya right away.
- I won't allow you.

- I'll wheedle you, mum.
- It makes no difference to me,

whether he leaves or not.
- That's easy for you to say now.

Why don't you ask father yourselves
if he's leaving or not?

- You'll know for sure.
- What an idea!

Perhaps he'll say he is leaving
and then he'll come back again.

I don't want to go through the same
horror as today.

What, he is torturing lions?
Why didn't you intervene immediately?

Alright. I shall look into it
myself.

I'll teach him a lesson.
Torturing animals in our time.

Draw a match!

You're out of it.

So what, I'll ask him myself.

Father, are you really going
to visit uncle tomorrow?

- Does anyone have any doubts?
- No one, but you know...

I offered to drive you there.

I cannot take up so much
of your time.

Not at all, it's Saturday
and I'm free in the afternoon.

- Will you return by dinner time?
- Of course he will.

- He will stay for dinner.
- Thank you.

- Do you accept then?
- I do.

- Take care of yourself, father.
- I will.

Forgive me for being so daring,
are you also travelling to Prague?

I am, sir.

On business or pleasure?

- I'm visiting my relatives.
- What a coincidence,

I'm visiting my brother.
Are you staying long?

For about three days.

I'm also staying for about three days.

- What's wrong with the car?
- I don't know.

- Will it take long?
- Maybe five minutes, maybe an hour.

You can go to the circus,
if you wish.

To the circus? What a coincidence.
I have business there.

We've received some complaints.
I'll be inside, when you're ready

come and get me.
- Alright.

What are you doing there?!

- Ticket, please.
- Here it is.

- It's not valid.
- How come?

- It's torn off.
- But I bought it a moment ago!

I'm sorry, but you've got to buy
another one.

- I don't have the slightest intention.
- Buy a ticket.

Let me in!
We'll see about that!

To your place, Suleiman!
Suleiman!

- Buy a ticket, sir.
- Let me in, I'm telling you

- I already paid for a ticket.
- Pay!

You'd like if everyone paid twice.
Let me go!

- Sit down, please.
- Thank you.

Come.

A decent man at last.

You should've let him in.

- He seems to be cranky.
- How could I?

- How much did we earn?
- I didn't count it yet.

To your place!
Suleiman!

- Leave that animal alone!
- Quiet!

- Stop beating him!
- Sit down, I can't see.

Put your glasses on!
What did I tell you!

- That man has gone crazy.
- No way. He belongs to circus.

Hey, what's this supposed to mean?

I fixed your car, sir.
The cable was loose

and the jet was jammed.
- Are you a mechanic or what?

No, but my dad has a service station.

I see, you must know cars better
than me.

This is for you, boy.
Thank you and off you go.

I've just had enough of this!

And you're applauding him!

Listen, I'll see that you're punished
for this.

Is it normal to torture
animals in the 20th century?

- Out!
- Why?

- The lions are coming.
- So what?

- Tell them not to let the lions in.
- It's too late, they're inside.

Hide behind me.

Why should I hide, I'm not afraid
of them.

To your place!

A man has gone crazy here.
He went in the lion cage.

Send an ambulance here
with attendants.

Don't beat them, you brute,
or I won't be liable for my actions!

Up, up!

Don't move, man, or they'll jump
on you.

You're trying to scare me, eh?

Good Lord...

I'm telling you, don't beat them!

A kind word, a pat and goodies will

do more than beating and torture.

Such cute animals and you are
torturing them this way.

It's true, old pals, isn't it?
Look.

You see, I told you he belongs
to the circus.

- He's over there, inside the cage.
- Are we supposed to follow him inside?

- I really don't feel like going in.
- Wait when he gets out. - Agreed.

The authorities will have a word
with you.

Shame on you! Applauding such animal
torture! Shame on you!

What is this? Let me go!
What are you doing!

I'll cry out for help! Let me go!
Do you know who I am?

- That was a brilliant act.
- Didn't I tell you so.

Excuse me, where are they taking
that man?

- To the madhouse.
- That's terrible.

- What? Where are they taking him?
- To the madhouse!

Stop it! Do you hear me?
I'll freeze here!

Show some compassion!
Stop it!

I am antiquarian Kohout from
the Lesser Town.

I'm no lunatic, stop it.

Everyone who comes here,
says that.

I beg you, I'm cold as an icicle.

Be sensible.

Dry yourself, get dressed
and that's all.

You'll pay for this!

The bed at the back is yours.

- Hey, Peter.
- What is it?

- I've brought you a new case.
- Who is it?

Be careful!
He was chasing lions in a cage!

Good heavens!

How's work, Victor?

I'm very busy, my friend.

Good gracious! You don't want
to leave me here, do you?

Oh no, sir.
Just for a moment.

- I'm as sound as a bell.
- That's obvious.

- I want to go to my wife and children.
- You'll get home,

but you mustn't lose your temper.
Goodbye.

I see you're working hard.
Busy as a bee.

I'm in a hurry.
It must be finished by tomorrow.

I see.
And what are you making?

A tail coat for the prince.
He's getting married tomorrow.

Can you sew too?

Only a little, perhaps I could help.

You'll make the sleeve.
Watch out, catch it!

Don't hang about and get to work!

You're sewing too slowly, you won't
earn enough to buy a potato.

If you spoil it, I'll slap you!

Get to work!

Getting into a lion cage itself
indicates a mental disorder.

- Was Mr. Kohout afraid of those lions?
- Not in the least.

Another evidence of his insanity.
Every normal man

is terrified by lions.
If I were standing

next to a live lion, I would...
- Let's leave it.

- I have one more question.
- Yes?

Is a beast tamer also deemed
as an abnormal person?

Indeed. But in his case it's a matter
of his abnormal mental ability

and extraordinary courage.

But Mr. Kohout is just the same. He
commanded the lions and they obeyed.

That is somewhat...
I alone cannot do anything.

I must wait for the professor's
decision. He'll be back in 2 hours.

And may I at least speak
to Mr. Kohout?

Of course.
At your own risk, though.

- Sign this declaration, please.
- With pleasure.

- Can I help you, doctor?
- Take Mr. Becvar to room No. 56

and wait for him.
- As you wish.

Thank you very much, doctor.
Goodbye.

- This way, sir.
- Thank you.

- Stop fiddling about and hurry!
- Don't you dare hit me!

Hurry!

My dear Mr. Becvar.
Could you please arrange

that they move him or me.
I'm afraid of him.

Stop hindering my helper, sir!

Could you move that other man
somewhere else?

- Mr. Kohout is afraid of him.
- He's not crazy.

He's a malingerer.
We have him here for observation.

He wants to avoid the court, rascal.
Things look bad for him.

But I can move him, if you want.

Would you be so kind?

Take your sewing stuff, we'll move
you next door, Victor.

You don't have peace here.
You wouldn't finish it with him.

You're a fine fellow, Peter.
This clumsy clot is no help.

- He can't even hold a needle properly!
- Let's go.

You must get me out of here.

Do you know what it would mean for me
if my family finds out

that I'm in a lunatic asylum?
- Your family thinks you're visiting

your brother for three days
and everything will be alright.

What? You can't be serious.
I am to stay here for three days?

I'd really go mad.
Go to my wife and tell her

discretely of my accident.
And I beg you, make sure the children

don't come to know anything.
Go, my wife will come

and stand security for me. Go!
Don't forget to tell her that...

- They are not in, sir?
- It seems so.

Indeed. When the cat is away
the mice will play.

- And where is the cat?
- He's visiting his brother.

- I'm his brother.
- My name is Becvar.

- Jaroslav Kohout.
- Pleased to meet you.

Good God, what a resemblance!
Are you twins?

Oh no. Borivoj is a mollycoddle
compared to me.

I'm five hours older than him.
Did he really leave to visit me?

He did, but he didn't get there.
He had an accident, he's in Prague.

- We must help him somehow.
- An accident? Is it serious?

- Enough, I'd say.
- I'm at his side then.

- Is there a woman involved?
- Oh no. Not at all.

I thought so. How could such a thing
cross my mind, eh?

What's the matter with him?

He's in a sanatorium
for the mentally ill.

- In a madhouse.
- Yes.

That was to be expected.

But he got in by accident.

- How come? Do you know him?
- Not very much.

Of course. I'd like to know
how he got there.

I'll tell you on the way.
We'll go and see him, shall we?

Indeed.

Into a lion cage? Good land!

Into a lion cage.
My whole body's aching.

And why did you have a row with your
brother, anyway?

It wasn't me, but him. His children
spent the summer with me years ago.

They went into the woods, on trips
and to dances with the other kids.

Helen met that doctor of hers.

My brother found out
and the fat was in the fire.

I'll crease up with laughter.

I called and I will come back,
uncle Jaroslav.

Show me.
Splendid, it'll be jolly at home!

Don't rejoice prematurely.
When father finds out

that uncle is in Prague,
he'll return home with Mr. Becvar.

Then, it won't be that jolly at home.

Hullo, Borivoj! You old rascal.

- Welcome, Jaroslav.
- What were you up to?

Don't gibe at me.

I know I did a foolery
and I feel terrible.

Tell me, where did you two meet.

In front of your flat.
And I thought it would be best,

if I ask your brother for help
rather than your wife.

Why? Do you have anything against
my wife?

On the contrary. Yet, there is a risk
she might suspect you of a certain

mental disorder all her life
and that she might confide in your

children in a weak moment.

I know you are right.
It's horrible.

They mustn't find out what I got into.
Understand?

Never! I beg you, get me out of here.

I want my wife and my children.

- We'll gladly help you. But how?
- That won't be easy.

Unless you stay here instead of him
and I'll leave with your brother.

Naturally.
They'll see that I'm not crazy

at once and they'll let me go home.
- But you would have to change

your clothes and your brother would
have to shave his beard.

I should shave my beard?
Never! I'd never do such a thing!

Then, of course, you cannot get
out of here.

It's up to you, dear brother.

I don't even have a razor.

Just a moment.

Here's a razor, scissors, a brush,
and shaving foam.

And water. Well?
I'll cut your beard.

Hurry up, gentlemen.
I'll keep an eye on the attendant

to make sure he doesn't rush in.
- Very well.

Thank you.

Does the second gentleman wish
to stay here too?

I doubt that. They're brothers and
they want to have a word in private.

- I see.
- One has to understand.

I'd like to have a cigarette.
Help yourself.

Thank you very much. I'll smoke it
after my shift ends.

- It's hard work, isn't it?
- Sometimes,

when they bring some furious fellow.

But I must keep an eye on that
bearded fellow.

We didn't have a lion chaser
here yet.

Hurry up, Borivoj, before they rush
in on us. - I'll be ready in no time.

Sometimes, it's fun,
like the other day.

An elegant man came here in a car
and said: I'm the minister and I came

for an inspection. So, we grabbed him
and put him in the shower.

He was screaming like hell.
And he really was the minister.

You can imagine the rumpus
afterwards.

Let's go, Mr. Becvar, my brother
is slightly agitated.

- Would he care for a shower?
- Oh no. He just needs some rest.

- A shower can make wonders.
- Thank you, my friend.

- Thank you very much.
- Let's go.

- Where's your beard?
- Right here.

- With what did you shave?
- With this.

Would you lend me the razor?

- I'd like to groom myself a little.
- Don't cut yourself, it's sharp.

Why did you shave your beard?

So that you like me more.

It's hot, isn't it?

- A shower would do you good, eh?
- You know I wouldn't mind?

A shower is a wonderful thing.
So, will we take one?

I'd love to.

How will I explain that I have my
brother's clothes and no beard?

Pretend to be your brother.
You've always wished to find out

how are things running at home,
when you're not present.

- You have a unique opportunity.
- That's a brilliant idea!

I'll pretend to be my brother.
That will be wonderful.

Perhaps it won't be that wonderful,
perhaps your family

will be complaining so much about you
that your gall will be up.

- In such a case...
- Will you admit that you're coming

straight from a madhouse?
- Nothing on earth can force me

to admit that.

It's going to be fun at home again.
Open all windows

and let some fresh air in.
So that uncle doesn't suffocate.

- Uncle Jaroslav is coming?
- Read for yourself.

- I can't wait to see him.
- Me too! - We all!

You must laugh loud.
Just like your brother does.

- You can do it, can't you?
- I can't pretend to be my brother

forever, can I?
- I'll get you out of this mess.

Maybe, I could resort to
half truth.

If you say a word about the madhouse,
I'll shoot you.

I agree.

I will be at home
and at the same time, I won't be.

I'm looking forward to that.

You see that you can laugh.

Don't forget about your brother's
burring R.

Er, r, brother.
My brother would say buddy.

Stop it, you rogue!
I'll catch a cold!

Crook!

Stop it, you crook, you rogue!

What a shower, eh?
That's really something.

Help, help!

It's from the shower.

- Quite refreshing, eh?
- You'll pay for this!

- What's going on here?
- He wanted a shower, so he got it.

That's the lion cage case,
professor.

You look just like a friend of mine.

- An antiquarian from the Lesser Town.
- It's him, professor.

Mr. Kohout has a beard.

- He shaved it.
- What?

Professor, if you are concerned

about your personal safety,
give me a straight jacket.

But I must speak to you
face to face.

Let's go to your room.

- Oh my!
- Good day, Barbara.

- Good day, sir.
- Are they in?

We're all here.
Welcome.

- Uncle!
- I'm so happy you're here.

I'm even more happy.
We couldn't wait to see you.

Leave uncle alone.
Come in, Jaroslav.

And will you tell us some jokes?

Come in, Jaroslav.

And we'll all go to the cinema
in the evening, won't we uncle?

And then to a dancing caf?.

- And will you dance with me, uncle?
- Of course, I will.

- How was your journey?
- Splendid.

Tell us about your adventures?
Were there any?

Into a lion cage, that must have
been funny.

That's just what that old zealot
would do.

I consider this matter settled.
You may leave, Mr. Kohout.

Stop by at the office and pick up
your brother's documents.

Thank you, professor.
I knew it would end this way.

Come to think of it,
where is Borivoj?

He left after lunch to visit you,
but we are glad.

- It's such a relief for all of us.
- One needs to breathe

freely at least once in a while.
- And laugh.

And not to shudder in fear
at what will happen next.

- Laugh one's head off.
- How can you say such things!

Leave them, I know that Borivoj
is an old growler.

- A growler? He's a tyrant.
- Our own Napoleon.

A despot.

- A dictator.
- That's enough, children!

Go and have a look.

Good day.

- You're already here, Charlie?
- As you can see.

- It's Zdena's fianc?.
- He knows how to get about father.

Our uncle is here,
he's such a jolly fellow.

Really? I can't wait to meet him.

Look, except for the beard,
he looks just like father.

My boyfriend, Mr. Becvar
and this is my uncle.

- Pleased to meet you.
- Pleased to meet you. - Sit down.

Did you take my husband
all the way, Mr. Becvar?

No, madam, I didn't.
My car had a slight defect

and another car took
your husband to his destination.

Great. He can't come back then!

- We have a few hours of freedom.
- That's swell.

Don't go mad for joy that your
father has left!

Aren't you ashamed?

I don't seem to recognize you, uncle.

- You looked just like Borivoj.
- Just like father.

I was joking, just for fun.

You almost fooled me. Would you like
some cognac before dinner?

- I'll get it.
- And a glass for me too.

And for me, to raise our spirits
just a little.

I'll have some as well.

Are you all addicted to drinking
or what?

- That's what your father would say!
- Oh no, uncle.

- We won't get limed by that.
- Hurry up,

so that we can touch glasses.
- Come and help me, girls.

I'll bring some cakes.

- I can't live this out.
- You forget your part too often.

I know.
I'll beware of that.

And if not, kick me.

Be careful.

To your imperishable humor, uncle.

- May we all be always jolly.
- That would be great.

As I'm looking at you, uncle,
I keep saying to myself

why isn't our father like you.

Life would be so pleasant.
How we would all love him.

I doubt I will ever dare to tell
Borivoj straight to his face:

Daddy, we're suffering with you like
from the worst illness.

Must every foolish thing that crosses
your mind be done?

Ideas are hatching in you like flies.
And why do we all

must neglect our own interests
and do what comes to your mind?

You raised fear, hypocrisy
and insincerity in us,

which have filled this house
like mildew.

No. I'll never dare to say this
to his face.

Just imagine, Jaroslav, that he
wants Helen

to marry some old, fattish geezer.
- Whom I don't know at all.

This time he's out of his reckoning.
From September, I'll work

as a supply-teacher and move away.
I'll rent a flat.

I know it means living a miserable
existence, yet also freedom.

And as soon as my and Marek's living
conditions improve, we'll get married.

What does he care about my love!
He only tramples everything.

He never thought of fulfilling any
of my wishes or of making me happy.

And I have a girl too, uncle.

A fine, cheeky young girl.
It's no big love.

Instead of going out alone
or sitting in caf?,

I go out with a girl. I'm also
a champion on 200 meters crawl.

But if father found out,
he'd shoot me.

He's a brute, though he'll
never know, anyway.

I won't tell him.

And what about you, Zdena?

Won't you make things hotter
for your father?

I won't, uncle. Though, I will
regret till the day I die

that I could never come to him
for a kind word,

for a cuddle or for a kiss.

Any time I wanted to get closer
to him, I had to bring or take away

something, fetch something,
or remind him of something.

I never had an affectionate daddy,

but a harsh teacher and mentor.

I'll always regret that.

Because I love him all the same.

- And do you think that I don't?
- So do I.

I almost cried my heart out.

Don't cry, mummy.

- Don't cry, I'll talk to him.
- It won't be of any use, anyway.

- He'll take some count of my words.
- Not even holy water

would work with him.

You'll see, whether it works with
him or not.

Good heavens! It's half past six,
I must prepare dinner.

- Come girls, help me.
- I'll go get Tonya.

- You've got to meet her.
- I can't wait.

Did you face the truth?

I did.

It was a terrible face.

I was a fool and I belong
to a madhouse.

You do not.
You didn't fall under so many blows.

Napoleon...

Dictator...

Tyrant.

The most tragic thing is that
they are saying the truth.

And the most beautiful thing is
that you are admitting it. You won.

Win what?
I'm a laughing-stock.

For my own children and my own wife.

- Can I tell them who I am?
- Of course, you can.

Do it in a humorous way, be above
them. You'll see.

Answer the phone, please.
I hope it's not the asylum.

As you wish.

Hullo, who is calling? Yes.
Yes, it's me speaking.

What can I do for you?

Good God, it's you?
Did they let you out?

That's marvelous.
Where are you now?

Of course, come at once.
Goodbye.

- Who was that?
- Your brother, he's coming here.

Why did you invite him?

The madhouse business will come out
and I can jump from the window.

Nothing will come out,
if you don't divulge it yourself.

- My brother will blab it out.
- Nothing will happen.

I'll play hob with your family.
And you can have a laugh.

What's that? Is it him?

Maybe, just a moment.

It is him.

- Are they in?
- They are not.

- Madam!
- What's the matter?

Jaroslav!
Father...

Why are you staring at me like that?
Am I a ghost or what?

I'm Jaroslav.

Let's go and have a laugh.

- Your father is over there.
- Welcome, Jaroslav.

- It's funny, isn't it?
- Terribly funny.

You must admit one thing, though,

that your father excelled
in pretending to be your uncle.

Mr. Becvar, will you explain
everything to us?

- I can't tell who's who.
- The story is a bit complicated.

Our car met the car of Jaroslav
and he joined us.

On the way, your husband said
he wished to see,

what his family was doing
when he wasn't at home.

Jaroslav came up with this idea.
They changed their clothes in a hotel.

Your husband had his beard shaved
and you know the rest.

We taught them a lesson, eh?

Hurry up with the dinner, girls.
And you come with me, let's change.

- I'd love to.
- Let's go.

- Why didn't you tell us anything?
- We'll go through hell now.

- I wish I weren't here.
- You'll see, your father will change.

- Such foolery.
- You don't know father at all.

Let's go, girls.

Mr. Becvar is a very clever man,
but a terrible liar.

I don't know if I let him marry
Zdena.

You're starting again, you nuisance?

As soon as he gets from a madhouse
and he's full of mischief again.

You must admit, Jaroslav,
that one cannot change

in the turn of the hand.

But it would do you good,
Mr. Kohout.

- Well, I'm here.
- And father as well.

- Crickey.
- Where are you going?

To tell Tonya not to come
tonight.

- Where is Jaroslav?
- He was here,

he went to Tonya to tell her
not to come tonight.

When he comes back, tell him
to invite her.

I'd like to meet her.
And from now on, Helen, if Marek

wants to speak to you, tell him to
come. No debating!

- Daddy!
- Daddy!

Dear!

So what?
Did you win or not?

Well, Borivoj.

- It's a miracle.
- I never believed this would happen.

I wanted to give him leftovers
from lunch,

but now I'll give him our best
schnitzel. Come on, girls.

This used to be my role model.
It's not any more.

Mr. Becvar, you offered 8,000 for it,
didn't you?

Then you'll get it
as a wedding present.

This afternoon, circus visitors
witnessed a thrilling spectacle.

An unknown man entered the lion cage
during the show,

criticizing the tamer for his
cruel treatment of the lions.

The viewers were horrified to see
the man torn and eaten by the lions.

After a few tense moments
it came to light that the man

was an employee of the circus.

Due to massive success, the scene
will be repeated in every show.

THE END