Piranha (1995) - full transcript

(nighttime sounds)

(ominous music)

- Looks like nobody's

been up here for a while.

- Come on.

- Do you think that's good idea?

- Where's your sense of adventure?

I always dreamed of getting

swept off my feet by

Indiana Jones, and I

wind up with Woody Allen.

Come on.

- Looks like it might've been some kind of

military installation .

- Cool, you think there's any

old warheads lying around?

- Davey, over here,

there's a swimming pool.

- (stuttering) I think we

better be getting back now.

- Why, what are you so afraid of?

- Your uncle.

- There's nothing he can

do to you, you big pansy.

Once I turned 18, all

rights he held over me

as my guardian...

They went out the window.

- (stuttering) Okay.

You're right.

But seriously...

This looks like the kind

of place that people made

not to be found, you know.

I mean you don't know what's in that pool.

It might not even be water.

- (sarcastically) Oo,

you mean slimy monsters?

- Barbara, don't do that.

- Looks like water to me.

(screaming)

- Oh my god!

Barbara!

(Barbara laughs)

- You are so gullible.

(Dave screams)

- (panting) Jesus, it's freezing!

What, are you nuts?!

(Barbara laughing)

- Have you ever seen "The

Creature From The Black Lagoon"?

- No.

- Well, how about "Attack

of the Crab Monsters"?

- Uh-uh.

- Are you still cold?

- Only in the...

Least important places.

Thanks.

It'll help.

- What's that slimy monster?

- You wanna play with it, little girl?

- Come get me.

- Okay.

Ow!

Barbara, cut it out,

it's starting to really hurt now, okay.

- What I didn't touch you, I'm over here!

- The hell you didn't,

you yanked off my...

You know again.

(Dave screams)

Something bit me.

(Dave screams)

- Davey, swim ,get out of the pool!

(Dave screams)

- [Barbara] Get out of the pool!

(Barbara screams and pants)

(ominous music)

(sirens in the distance)

- No, she was always rebellious,

but I'm damned if I ever

thought she'd pull something

like this, I mean...

And it is my fault, I...

I know I should have listened to her more.

- JR, we'll...

Find Barbara, and we'll

bring her back in time for

the opening on Friday.

- I hope you won't take

this the wrong way, miss?

- McNamara.

- McNamara,

Don't you think somebody

a little more experienced

might be better suited for this, Earl?

- Maggie has the best

record in the agency, JR.

- I'll find your niece,

Mister Randolph, I promise.

- [Earl] We'll be in touch when

we hear something, JR, okay?

- I appreciate it, Earl.

- Miss McNamara.

- Nice to meet you.

(sighs)

- I don't have to tell you

when an important client

JR Randolph is, do I?

- Largest land developer in the region,

JR's latest venture is

the Lost River Resort,

which cost about 16 million,

and has it's grand opening on Friday.

- It's very good...

Hopefully the information

on the youngest generation

will be as easy to find.

- Oh, Earl, I'm two-thirds

bloodhound, remember?

Even if I don't look it.

(relaxing music)

- Look at you, look at you!

Oh, you are a beauty.

- Yeah, yeah, see, chicken,

bag of pasta,

and one bottle of Andy Jackson Bourbon.

- Ah, give it here.

My one guilty pleasure.

Have I missed anything?

- Back in the world?

Nothing.

The usual.

People lousen up the land,

fowling up the waters,

screwing up the air, but

then complaining 'cause

"They don't enjoy life anymore".

We're better off up here by ourselves.

(coughing)

So how is the great

one-word-a-day American novel

coming along?

- Well...

It's seven words greater

than it was the last time

you were here.

- Poppa H would be disappointed.

Brandy, I think it's time for us to go.

Maybe by the time we get

back, Paul will have a whole

new paragraph for us to critique.

- Hey, give that dog a bath,

smells like fish.

(dog barks)

(knock on door)

It's open!

- Paul Grogan?

My name's Maggie McNamara, I

work for Lyon Investigations.

- [Paul] Who's that?

- Detective agency.

- I thought PI's wore

trench coats, and have those

little stubbly beards.

- Well, it's the 90's,

we've become liberated.

- My ex-wife sent you?

- No, I'm looking for a...

A young man, and woman, who

disappeared about a week ago.

They were last seen in this area.

Your friend, Jack thought

you might be able to help me.

- No, never saw 'em.

Talk to the sheriff's people?

- (sighs) Yes, if they knew

anything, I wouldn't be here.

I thought maybe they

would follow the river.

- Well...

If they drown in the river,

they've been swept downstream

to the dam.

Ouch.

So you're starting at the wrong end.

- Am I interrupting something?

- Look...

I haven't seen them, or

anyone else for that matter,

see, that's why I live up

here in the wilds of nature.

Sorry, can't help.

- Well, are there any

other shacks around here?

- Cabin, this is a cabin.

- [Maggie] Right, well are

there any more of those?

Somewhere they might be shacked up?

- That's cute.

You got a whip?

Well, there's an old army

test site up on the mountain,

that's been closed down

for four, or five, years.

- You're taking me there.

- Oh no, I'm not.

- Yes...

Yes you are.

(birds chirping)

- Well...

Where to now?

(ominous tense music)

Not here.

Well, there's no signs of life,

can we go now?

- Not yet.

Paul.

(tense music)

What ere they testing here?

- God knows.

Went hiking up here once with my ex-wife,

there was guard dogs, electrified

fences, the whole show.

- B-R.

Barbara Randolph.

- Randolph?

As in Randolph Land Development,

the Randolph Building

downtown, Randolph Boulevard?

- I don't work cheap.

- Jesus.

Working for the enemy.

Well.

(screeching)

If they had drown in here,

wouldn't their bodies be

floating on top by now?

- No, not necessarily.

Takes a while for the body bloat with gas.

- Nice business you're in.

- Wonder if there's anyway

we could drain this pool.

(water pumps running)

(ominous music)

They've definitely been here,

unless they brought a change of clothes.

I think we ought to drain the pool.

Paul.

If this still works, it's

the quickest way to find out

whether they're down here.

- (sarcastically) I can't wait.

(alarm sounding)

- What are you doing?

(Maggie screams)

- Paul!

Paul!

(Maggie screams)

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, how about you?

- Oh, man!

I thought you PI's knew

all that kung fu stuff.

- I never passed the course.

She's still breathing.

- No thanks to you.

- What was I supposed to do?

You weren't much help.

Give me a sip of that.

- It ain't Avion, Tori.

- Oh god, you're right.

What's in the sack?

- Roadkill.

- Jesus.

- Every all American girl needs a hobby.

- [Paul] What is it?

- Salt water.

Where does this drain to?

- Well, it was a fish hatchery

before the army took it over,

probably drains

underground into the river.

- Paul.

(ominous music)

Looks like a dog, or something.

If those kids drowned in here,

then the remains would be

in the river by now .

- [Paul] Dammit.

- She must've hot-wired it.

She's alive.

- You spot anything broken?

- What do you want, Florence

Nightingale for Christ's sake?

I don't know, look, her head's

glean, she's unconscious.

- Well, let's pick her up, and

carry her back to the cabin,

if she cries out in pain,

then somethings' broken.

- Carry her?

- Don't worry, catch

your breath, I'll start.

- No, I'll do it, I'll do it.

- Oh, Brandy, I tell

ya, catching em's good,

eating em's good, but

cleaning em really sucks.

(dog barks)

Now, what's gotten into you?

It's the same old river

out there, same as always.

I swear sometimes I think

you're getting senile,

soft in the head.

(screeching)

(Jack screaming)

- Nice fish...

Where'd you catch it?

- Catch it, I bought it,

it cost me 500 bucks,

there's no way we're gonna get her to town

without your Jeep.

- Well, I can't believe

you don't have a telephone.

I mean what happens if you

needed help in an emergency?

- I don't need help, and

I don't have emergencies.

- Where's the nearest help then?

Cause she probably has a fractured skull.

- Well, we'll get her to the dam,

there's always a ranger there.

- Okay...

How do we get there?

- A raft.

- Ugh, cut the Grizzly Adams

crap, how do we get there?

- Alright, I read my daughter

Huckleberry Finn last summer,

We wanted to light out for

the territories right the,

so I built this as a compromise.

- Well, it looks authentic.

- I cut the logs myself.

There's not a nail in it,

it's all lashed with rope.

- Where's your daughter now?

- Well, she visits during the summer,

but she's at camp for a few days.

- So how sturdy is thing?

- I don't know, we never tried it.

My daughter's afraid of the water.

- Look, Susan, all you have

to do is swim out to marker,

and back.

I'm sure you swim twice

that, when you're swimming.

- This is stupid.

Why should I swim in

some scummy old river.

- Because if you don't do your solo swim,

then you can't get your Water Scout badge.

- Laura!

Letter for you, Laura.

Still haven't done your solo swim, Susie.

- No.

- The entire camp is going

across the river tomorrow

to be in a TV commercial

for the Lost River Resort.

Now...

Unless you suck it up,

and do your solo swim,

you won't get to be on TV

with the rest of the kids.

- Gina, do you have any mail for her?

- Nope.

- Then why don't you get out of here.

- Guts, Susie!

- What a bitch.

- [Maggie] I wish you'd come too.

- [Paul] You're lucky, she's not dead.

- Who do you think she is?

- Goddamn nutcase, that's who.

- How far till we get to dam?

- Well, we can't make it before dark,

we're gonna have to camp for the night.

- We have to spend a whole night with her?

- Don't worry, if she

snores, I'll nudge her.

(ominous music)

- Come on Brandy!

Hey Brandy.

Jesus!

Hurry up.

- Oh my god.

Human blood.

- [Paul] Jack!

Jack!

Jesus Christ.

Jack!

Come on, follow the dog.

Jack!

(ominous music)

- Oh my god.

- Oh my god.

I can't believe it, Brandy.

- [Maggie] I'm sorry.

- I'll go get a shovel.

He wouldn't want to buried in town.

- He was quite thick..

Like an ancient tree stump.

His gnarled skin, the color of iron.

His eyes was so old,

that his eyelids sank to the ground like

two thick ropes.

"Raise my eyelids", he said.

And the demons...

They peeled his heavy eyelids back.

"There", he said.

And in a voice like a earthquake,

"There he is",

- Bah!

(children screaming)

- No!

- Easy, easy now.

- Razor teeth, the razor teeth.

- What's that, what's razor teeth?

- [Dr. Baines] Let me go!

- What's going on out here, huh?

- She must have a concussion,

she's not making any sense.

- Well, allow me to have

a go at it, alright.

Hello there!

Are you awake?!

What happened with Barbara and David?!

Where are they?!

- No.

They breed, there's no way to stop them.

No way.

- Someone's completely mental.

- Paul, that's not the way to handle this.

- We'll just let the

authorities beat it our of her

tomorrow.

- They'll kill me.

(stuttering) They'll kill me.

They'll kill all of us.

- Alright, miss short-term memory,

number one, what happened

to David and Barbara.

Okay.

Number two, what the

hell were you doing up

In an army test site?

- Stop that!

- Stop what?

- Your hand, take it out of the water.

- It speaks.

- What's wrong with the water?

- Excuse me.

What's your name?

- Dr. Leticia Baines.

- What's wrong with the water?

- It's full of carnivorous fish, piranha.

- For god's sakes

- Paul, shut up.

- What are piranha doing in the river?

- You let em in...

When you drained the

pool at the test site.

If you hadn't done it in such a hurry--

- Load of crock...

- [Maggie] Paul!

- Piranha are tropical fish,

this is cold mountain water,

they wouldn't last for a minute up here.

- Yeah, but what about Jack's feet?

And the skeleton at

the bottom of the pool?

- What were piranha doing in that pool?

- Untie me, please!

- Why don't we just dip

you in the water a bit,

and see if you're

telling the truth or not?

(dog barking)

Brandy!

- [Maggie] Brandy!

Sh, Brandy!

Brandy!

Brandy!

- Brandy!

Brandy!

- Don't put your hand in!

(screeching)

(Brandy yelping)

- Help me!

- Brandy!

(screeching)

Brandy!

- [Dr. Baines] Don't put your hand in.

- She attacked.

She knew what they were,

and she attacked them.

- Jesus.

Look at the size of these teeth.

Is it...

- [Dr. Baines] Serrasalmus Mutandis...

A brand new species.

- [Kid] What's wrong?

- Damned if I knew.

The guy at the store told

me it was strong enough to

hold a 20 pound catfish.

Look at this, damn thing

must have been maid in Taiwan

or some place.

See, I tell you, ain't nothing

like a good old American net.

- Well, maybe something bit

through it or something.

- Nothing in this river got

anything strong enough to bite

that.

No, the guy just beat us, that's all.

Yip,

just a piece of Taiwan crap.

Come on, let's go down to the other one.

Now that one was made in New Jersey.

- Okay, campers.

I know you all wanna do a

great job on this commercial

for Mr. Wechsler, our director.

- Everybody, just call me Terry.

- Terry.

I think you all know your line by now.

Let's hear it.

- [All] (unenthusiastically) It's great!

- Feel like it's snagged

on something in the bottom.

Dammit, damn arm is tangled up in it.

- Good old American know-how, huh dad?

Want me to help?

- No, no, no, just get

that end of the canoe,

and balance it.

- I thought you knew about

all this kind of stuff

when you know, when you were a boy.

(screeching)

- When I was a boy...

We made our own nets, and

we made em right, and--

Ouch!

- Did you get bit?

- Ow!

- Dad!

- Stay back!

- Dad!

(tense music)

(screaming)

- Dad, please help me,

daddy, help me please.

Dad!

(crying) Aw, dad.

- So the government

paid you to raise fish?

- It's a little more

complicated than that,

it's genetics, radiation,

and behavior modification,

selective breeding.

They called it, Operation: Razorteeth.

- What was it for?

- To destroy enemy river systems.

Specifically in Eastern

Europe, and Russia.

We were supposed to develop a

strain of fish that could live

in any type of water, and reproduce

at a greatly accelerated rate.

They provided anything

we needed, blank check.

And then the cold war ended,

a new administration came

into the White House,

and our funding was cut.

- Kids in the river.

Oh god.

- What?

- The dam, they're letting

river water through

every couple of days to

keep the water levels steady

on the new lake.

My daughter's up there at

camp for a couple of weeks.

They're in the water practically everyday.

- Just how dangerous are they?

- They kill more people

every year than sharks do,

they'll attack anything that moves.

- Okay, we're gonna do

the buddy system now!

Everybody grab your buddy,

hold up your arms, let

me see your buddy's hand.

(cheering)

Buddies, whoa!

Buddies!

- Dad?

Daddy?

Daddy?

Please help me, dad.

- You're not blaming me for this, are you?

I think you are.

That's incredible, I

think you're blaming me.

You're the one who drained

the pool at the test site.

- You open your mouth one more

time, and I will shove this

bottle down it.

Do you think they've opened the dam yet?

- God, I hope not.

- [Kid] Daddy!

- What's that?

- [Kid] Daddy, help me!

Daddy, please help me, somebody, help me!

- Oh my god, Paul.

- Move it, move it!

Go, go, go.

- There up ahead.

- I see him.

- Stay on top!

- We're coming.

- Daddy, help me!

- Stay on top!

Paul...

- [Kid] Daddy,

please help me, somebody, help me!

- Paul, it's sinking,

the canoe is sinking.

- Hold on!

- (sobbing) Please help me.

- Go, go, go, go.

- We're coming!

No!

- Dr. Baines!

- [Maggie] Dr. Baines!

(tense music)

- Push Paul!

- [Paul] Baines!

- Hey there, Baines, help me.

- Son of a bitch.

- Please!

- Just give it to her.

- Please God.

(frantic screaming)

(tense music)

- Oh god!

- Oh my god.

She's still breathing.

- Is the boy okay?

Is the boy okay?

- Yes, he's okay.

- Baines, you bred them, you fed them,

what else can they do?

Baines, how can we stop them?

Baines!

Baines!

Dammit!

- Hello neighbors.

Yes, you now have the chance

to be a part of a modern

ecological miracle.

Acres, and acres, of reclaimed land...

Nestled in a scenic mountain valley.

Site of the newly formed Lost River...

Lake Resort.

Yes siree, Bob, you have everything here.

You're gonna have swimming,

you're gonna have sailing,

you're gonna have scuba

diving, and you're gonna have

skin diving, and yes, you'll

even have shuffle board.

And just take a look at

this beautiful marina.

- Cut, cut, cut!

Who is the bleach blonde bimbo

with her tits in the shot?

- I am the one who gets

to say "Cut", Dennis.

Cut.

- Oh, that's much better.

You learned that at film school?

- Yes, what the hell do

you think you're doing?

- I was exubing.

- [JR] Well, you're standing

in the camera range.

Now I'm spending an extraordinary

amount of money on this

film crew, and they got you in the shot.

Yeah.

- How did I look?

- Excuse me, JR.

Sweetie, if you want

watch from behind camera,

that's just fine, we just can't

have you in the shot, okay?

- Okay, if you promise me to

make our own movie later on.

- Oh...

I do.

- Thank God, the rest

of the bozos don't get

here till tomorrow.

(kids shouting and screaming)

- [Kid] Gotta stay this way.

Come on, you guys.

- What's the matter, honey?

You wanna tell me about it?

- The kids were yelling at

her, cause she wouldn't race.

She's afraid of paraffin in the water.

- Is that right, Susie?

- Well, I'll take you in the

tube base if you want me to,

okay?

Just think, in a couple of days,

you'd be back home where the

only water's in your bathtub.

You're not afraid of a

bathtub now, are you?

- No, bathtubs are okay.

- You can stay away from

all rivers, lakes and oceans

until you're not afraid any more.

- [Susie] Yeah.

- Okay.

- Thanks Laura.

- You keep an eye on her for me, okay?

I'm gonna go and check on other monsters.

You're at camp, have fun.

- Okay.

- Laura.

- Yeah.

There's nothing bad in

the river, is there?

- No, just a few little fish.

See you in a little while.

- That's good.

- [Paul] Well so far, we

know that they can survive

in cold water.

- [Maggie] Yeah, they seem

to be moving downstream.

- They're big, really big.

Judging by the size of their head,

they're at least a foot long.

- We gotta find someone who

knows how to deal with these

things.

(screeching)

- Well, there'll be a phone at the dam,

we can call ahead.

- Hey!

- What is it?

- The lashing's coming undone.

- Whoa!

- It's Baines, it's her blood.

- The blood's seething through,

they're eating away at the

lashes to get to her.

- Paul, the raft is coming a part.

- Daddy, that's my daddy, leave my daddy!

Daddy!

- Maggie get em off.

I've got to grab her.

- Daddy!

- It's the blood, it's soaked in,

they won't stop, let's

get to shore, come on.

- Paul.

My pack!

Paul.

- Push!

Closer, come on!

Push!

- Jump!

How far is the dam?

- It's close, I'm gonna run ahead.

(tense music)

- Hey, pretty, pretty,

pretty, pretty fishy.

(screeching)

- [Radio Host] We're back, here's Orlando.

So Sarah, you're saying--

(tense music)

At the time, your husband, Ed,

was sleeping with your son's orthodontist?

- [Other Radio Host] Damn straight.

- [Radio Host] Now, this

was about the same time,

Ed started cross-dressing,

isn't that right?

- [Announcer] Stand by

to open the flood gates.

Alright, Tony, ready on that wheel?

- [Ed] I only pledged my allegiance to the

prince of darkness, when

she started belly dancing

for the men at the old age home.

- [Radio Host] After Sarah

and Melissa will tell us about

their new--

- [Announcer] Turn that wheel,

let's open her up.

- Stop!

Don't open that.

Please don't open that.

(police radio in the background)

- Well, part of your story

checks out, Mister Grogan.

Defense Department said they

did have a Dr. Leticia Baines

working for em several years back,

but they said they never

heard of anything called

Operation: Razorteeth.

They've never been messing

around with any piranha fish.

- Well, you think they're

gonna admit to this, come on.

- Yeah, he's right, I mean

the government's gonna try

and distance itself as

much as possible from this

whole thing, it'd be a

major embarrassment to them.

- Right now, what we gotta do,

we gotta get to the resort,

and the kids camp, and we gotta

get those people evacuated.

- Look officer, please, call JR Randolph,

He hire me to find his niece,

but we think that she was killed

by the piranha in the pool

at the test site.

- Wait here.

- Look, if I don't open tomorrow,

I will lose everything,

I'll be completely broke,

it's as simple as that.

There's just too much riding

on this, don't you see?

Besides I seriously doubt

if your little killer fish

could chew their way through a dam.

- Here's your dam.

If you follow the river here above it,

there's a stream that bypasses the dam,

and flows directly into the lake,

straight to your resort.

The fish have a way around the dam.

- Those fish have

neither the intelligence,

or the motivation to find

that bypass, Mr. Grogan.

- The fish were bred for intelligence,

and endurance, and God knows what else.

- Carl, this is getting awfully boring.

- You are deliberately ignoring me.

- No, Grogan, I remember you.

You were big news for

about 15 minutes or so,

and then, you lost that

big case against the

save the

gay-feminist-Cambodian-whale group

that shut down the...

smelting plant.

Now, I guess you figured

on getting a little payback

against those greedy corporate

types who bent you over,

ruined your life.

Well, golly gosh almighty, Grogen,

your sad story just about breaks my heart,

but you're a little bit late.

This project's going ahead as planned.

Nice try tough.

- What about Barbara?

- Miss McNamara...

Exactly what proof do you

have that she's been killed.

- What about the locket?

- It was in the pack, and

that fell into the river

when we jumped off the raft.

- Well, that's convenient.

- Mr. Randolph, we think

that your niece was killed

by the piranha.

- No, she's not dead,

she's run off, she's

alone with that miserable

assistant manager of mine.

I give em about two weeks of shacking up,

and then she'll drop him like

last week's fashion layout.

- It's a nice thing for an uncle to say.

- Carl, I don't have time for this,

I have the biggest day of

my life happening tomorrow,

now I don't know what these

two are trying to pull,

or who they may be working

for, but they are not

gonna stop that from happening.

- I'm working for you, Mr. Randolph.

- No, honey, not anymore

you're not, you're through,

you're fired, now don't be

looking to be picking up

the rest of your money either,

I think I've solved this case

on my own, Miss Sherlock.

- Come on, Maggie.

Let's go to the press, people

aren't going in the water,

I got a friend at the times

that'll love to run this story,

pal.

Hey, wait a minute, sheriff,

you got nothing you can hold

us on.

- He's right, JR, they

haven't done anything illegal.

- Well, who said anything about illegal,

I'm just inviting this nice

young couple to be my guests

at one of our brand new

luxury waterfront condos,

no, I tell you what.

I'll give you one night

free at our best model,

usually going for 1200 a night.

- And we'll be staying

there just long enough

to miss the opening

festivities tomorrow right?

- Yeah, where the sheriff's

men is our household servants.

- You hear that, Carl.

And who says our younger

generation ain't getting smarter,

and smarter every day.

- Just make yourselves comfortable, folks,

you'll be spending the night.

- What about our phone call,

you owe us a phone call.

- That's only if you've been arrested,

you're only being held, and

there's a fella named Leonard

sleeping in the next

room, he's your jailer.

You wake Leonard up, you better

have a pretty good reason.

I gotta get back on that road now,

so you two just behave yourselves.

- Wait a minute, my daughter

is down there, goddammit.

There are kids down there!

The piranha are coming!

You've got to believe me!

(insects chirping)

- [Terry] God, you look...

Great in this light.

Reminds me of a shot I

once saw in a Bergman film.

- So do you know anyone

famous in the business?

- [Terry] Eh, not really.

I work mostly in commercials

since I finished film school.

I wanna move into features though.

Yeah.

Some day.

- How about a swim, Mr. Director?

Easy tiger.

I'm a good girl, don't

let my looks fool you.

- I have...

I have something, I have to tell you.

- What?

- I can't swim.

- What did you think we

were coming out here for?

- Water sports weren't

exactly what I had in mind.

- Oh.

That's too bad, guess, I'll

just have to swim by myself.

- Wait a second.

Don't you wanna...

Play hide the buoy with me.

- You think I'd just

gonna give it up to you

like that?

I'm kind of like a promotion, Terry...

You have to earn me.

You asshole.

- Great dialog.

I love improvisation,

just like in an Altman film.

- Well fine, you like improv?

Well, I'll swim back to shore on my own,

and you can just sit

there, and play with your

camera, little boy.

Good bye, Terry.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Gina?

(mysterious ominous music)

Gina!

Gina!

Gina?

(screeching)

Oh my god.

Holy shit.

Oh Jesus.

Gina!

No, oh shit.

Gina!

- What the hell are you doing?

- You ever see a move called

"Big Bust From Cellblock 7"?

- No.

- The lead guy was this plumber

who got life in the slam

for killing his cheating wife.

Yeah.

The lead character came up

with this genius escape plan

that busted he and his

buddies in cell block seven

out of the clutches of a sadistic warden.

- What are you doing?

- And being a plumber, he

used what he knew best.

- Jeez.

- Jesus, are you okay?

- Give me one of your socks, hurry up.

- What?

- One of your socks, come

on, it's part of the plan.

Hurry up, Paul, the

crash probably woke him.

- [Paul] what happened

at the end of the movie,

did they make it?

- No...

They all got shot to pieces.

They came close.

- Close.

Close works for me.

Pretty damn close.

- Sweet Jesus, what's going on in here,

it sounded like the damn

roof fell on the damn place.

- Where did all the water

on the floor come from?

- Oh, something's leaking, and boy...

If it doesn't stop, I'm

gonna get pneumonia.

- [Leonard] Oh alright, I'll

have to take a look at it,

you stand back over there, and I'll see...

What I can come up with.

Oh no, no, now you stand

back over there, missy.

Back over there now.

Okay

what in the world did you do down here?

What were you tying to do,

escape out through the drain

pipe, or some damn thing?

Ow!

Ow.

- [Maggie] Oh my god,

I think I killed him.

- Maggie, what's going on?

- Oh, he's alive.

- What Happened?

- I knocked him out,

he's okay, he's alive.

- Well, get his keys.

- They're chained to his pants.

- Takes his pants off then.

- Leonard?

("When the Saints Go

Marchin' In" instrumental)

- [JR] So glad you made

it today, bear with me,

you'll have the older people over there.

Okay, I'll catch you later.

Thank you, take care.

- Ladies, and gentlemen,

on behalf of the Lost River

Development Corporation,

I am so very happy to welcome you to our

opening festivities.

Now if during the day,

you have any questions

about the purchase of site up here,

will have our people mingle

with you to answer them,

but remember, you have no

obligation to buy anything,

only to enjoy yourselves.

Alright.

Don't forget, free

barbecue at one o'clock.

Hit it!

("When the Saints Go

Marchin' In" instrumental)

yeah, how're ya doing, how's it going?

Looking good, looking good.

- Hit the bullseye.

Oh.

Okay kids, come together,

it's time for the water competition.

Where the hell is Gina?

- Salt water.

- What?

- It was salt water, I just remembered.

- What was?

- In the pool, at the test site.

I thought it was strange at the time,

and then I completely forgot about it.

- So?

- So, piranha are fresh water fish,

Dr. Baines said she was breeding a strand

that could survive in either fresh water,

or salt water, that's why the

fish are headed downstream.

- And if they get into the

ocean, there'll be no way

to contain them.

They'll be able to swim up

every single river system

in the country.

- Ready, set, go!

(ominous music)

(screeching)

(tense ominous music)

- [Maggie] Paul.

Paul!

Paul!

(screeching)

(screeching)

(screaming)

- Laura, do something, I'm sinking!

- Laura, oh god.

- I'm sinking!

- Darlene,

try and give me your hand.

(screaming)

- Just stay on top of the raft.

- Laura, Darlene!

- Darlene, grab your half.

(screaming)

- Darlene, we gotta get out of here.

- Darlene, hold on!

- [Laura] Darlene, wait!

Darlene, Darlene, get on top of the boat.

- Laura!

(screaming)

- Laura!

- Laura!

- Call the resort, I'll get

these kids out of the water.

- Okay.

- [Susie] Daddy, help me, daddy!

- Susie!

- Dad!

- I'm coming!

- Grab the ore, sweetie.

- Dad!

- Dad!

- Hey Susie, you alright?

- Yeah.

- Sit in the back, sit in the back.

Let's go.

Easy, easy.

(telephone ringing)

- Mr. Randolph's office.

An emergency?

Ah yes.

That is important.

We'll have to clear the water at once.

Mm, okay.

Yes.

Thanks for calling.

Okay.

Bye bye.

More of those crackpot

environmentalists, Mr. Randolph.

They say, "Thousands upon

thousands of piranha are headed

our way.

- Piranha?

Imagine that, eh.

- And I want you to call these

kids all together, alright?

- Okay MINOS, buddy system,

get your partner.

- [Paul] Come on kids, line up.

Help's coming.

- Hi.

- Did you get in touch with

anyone besides Randolph?

- Uh, I told em the whole story, but...

I don't think they believe me.

Felt like I was being humored.

- We'll have to go ourselves.

Could you handle this?

- Well...

I think so.

I love you, daddy.

- I'm so proud of you, honey.

We'll come back for ya.

("When the Saints Go

Marchin' In" instrumental)

(scuba breathing)

- Glad to see you made it.

Keep a good eye on that caterer,

make sure he's putting all the food out,

I don't want anybody standing

around with and empty plate

for any reason.

And lots of booze, plenty of booze.

Call the agents, make sure they're pushing

areas six, seven, and eight.

And be sure to tell

security to keep a close eye

out for that lawyer and his lady friend.

Contain em, mold em,

I don't care what they

have to do, I don't want

em talking to anybody,

you got it?

Governor, sir, so glad you could make it.

- Well, JR, you have done

the most beautiful job here,

my congratulations to ya.

- Thank you sir, I could

never have done it without

your help with my zoning clearance.

- You're too generous, too generous.

- Whitney, I want you to

take the governor's party

to our VIP tents, all your

friends are waiting for you there

sir.

- Well that's lovely, come along honey.

Come along.

- What a hot dog.

Just look at him.

He's such a show off.

- Meryl.

- Huh?

(ominous mysterious tense music)

(screeching)

(screaming)

- Every phone on the premises,

Whitney, you got that, out of order.

Now we got to stop this hoax,

and I want all incoming

calls to witch through here.

- Yes sir.

- Well, get on it.

(screeching)

- Go to the shore!

- Hey, wait a minute, I think

somethings wrong back there.

- What?

- He looks really scared.

(screeching)

(screeching)

(shouting)

- Yous should stop.

- No, no!

(screeching)

Speed up!

No, no!

- Nope, he says go.

Speed it up.

- Go?

(screaming)

(screeching)

(screeching)

(screaming)

(ominous music)

- Whoa!

- Whoa, alright!

- Oh god.

- Huh?

- He made it to shore.

- What the hell?

Jump, jump!

Oh no!

- Look, look!

Come on, it's gonna explode.

- Help!

- [Woman] Get him.

Right this way.

(screaming)

- [Woman] Get me out, get me out!

(screeching)

- No.

No, no, of course, it's false,

(telephones ringing)

they've already called

seven other stations.

- Mr. Randolph.

- Excuse me just a moment.

Whitney, I'm on the phone.

- But sir, the piranha.

- Told you not to mention that word.

- But the piranha.

- What about the damn piranha?

- They're eating the guests, sir.

(screeching)

(tires screeching)

- [Man] Get off, get off, no!

(screaming and shouting)

- [Paul] Dammit.

They beat us.

(screaming)

(screeching)

- Hey, come on, let's take this boat.

- I'll get the line.

(tense music)

- Where are we going?

- The lake narrows right where the outlets

to the refinery was.

They'll be bunched tight

when they go through there.

- And then what?

- If it's not tapped off,

there might be enough

waste left in the smelting tanks.

- It'll kill the piranha?

- Are you kidding me?

- It'll kill anything.

You pollute the bastards to death.

- See it?

- Oh yeah.

- I toured this place when I

was preparing for the trial.

Dammit.

- What's wrong?

- It's all flooded.

Waste tanks, the control

booth, everything.

It's all under water.

- So what could we do?

- Let's find the towline.

- Okay then.

(screaming and shouting)

- Now you count slowly to 200,

and whether I'm at the surface or not,

you go on out of here, okay?

Cause it means I'm in trouble.

200 is about all I can hold my breath for.

Okay, let's count it down together.

One,

two,

come on honey,

three,

- four

five

Six

- I'll be back.

- [Maggie] Seven,

eight.

(ominous tense music)

- [Maggie] 33,

34,

35,

36...

48,

49,

50...

(screeching)

102,

103,

104...

110,

111,

112...

162,

163,

164, come on!

197,

198...

200.

(ominous tense music)

- No.

No.

No.

No, no!

Oh my god!

Paul!

Paul!

- While the actual detail remain cloudy,

the extent of this tragedy

is painfully clear.

Dio, get a shot of this guy.

(emergency radio chatter)

- We can only speculate

the ultimate ramifications

of this ecological disaster,

could this be nature's revenge

on man's destruction of his environment?

Only time will tell.

This is Freddie Long, Channel Six News.

That sucked!

Erase that one, will you Roger?

(emergency radio chatter)

What's his story?

- Found him drifting in

a boat down the lake.

Hasn't said a word since we found him.

- [Voice Over PA System]

The piranha are dying,

but get out of the water

until further notice.

I repeat, the piranha are dying.

- Would you respond to

the allegations, JR.

Is it true?

What are you going to

do now, Mr. Randolph.

- Mr. Buff and his

brothers have been calling

from New York, they sound very upset.

- Get out of here, Whitney.

- Sir?

- You're fired.

(gun cocking)

(gunshot)

(eerie jazz music)

- [Woman] I'll be right with you.

I need help over here.

- Daddy.

- Hey Sweetie.

Are you okay?

- Yeah, and how about you?

- Daddy's gonna be just fine.

Hey spade, this mountain

crap is for the birds.

- What do you think

about a move to a city?

- Is there a novel in it?

- Where do you go from here, governor?

- Well, I personally am

gonna head up a full scale

investigation on this

incident, bot because I wish to

find out who is responsible for it,

and we must be certain this sort of thing

never, never happens again.

- [Interviewer] What danger

is there in the possibility

of a piranha reaching the ocean?

- [Governor] Oh, not at all.

Most of them seemed to

have been destroyed by

the pollution at the end of the lake,

and of course if any of

them did get through,

they cannot survive the salt water.

Now read my lips boy, everything's okay.

(cheering)

(screeching)

(rock music)