'Pimpernel' Smith (1941) - full transcript

It is mid-1939 and both Germany and England are preparing for an inevitable conflict. Professor Horatio Smith, an effete academic, asks his students to come with him to the continent to engage in an archaeological dig. When his students discover that the professor is the man responsible for smuggling a number of enemies of the Nazi state out of Germany, they enthusiastically join him in his fight. But things are complicated when one of his students brings a mysterious woman into their circle, a woman who is secretly working for the Gestapo.

- Have you got it?
- I think so, yes, I think so.

Weber, my notebook.

- What's the matter?
- I thought I heard someone outside.

He's always hearing things
since he got that message.

- What message?
- A message I do not quite understand.

- From whom?
- That's just it, I don't know.

But you think it's from this
mysterious rescuer, eh?

I believe it came from him, yes.
I believe I shall be got safely away.

I wouldn't be the first.

And you'll go on with your work
somewhere else, out of reach of the Nazis?

Of course.

You've always refused to
work for them, haven't you?

I would sooner die.
My business is to cure, not to kill.

Weber, you say you
gave the last injection at 4 o'clock?


Greatly increased resistance, they
were definitely better. Seems to be working.

There is a man outside,
he told me to give you this note.

- Let me read it.
- Thank you.

The mind of man is
bounded only by the universe?

- What's that mean?
- I knew it.

Weber, get my hat and coat quickly.

And bring my suitcase. Notebook.

- Please be careful please be careful.
- What I've to lose?

Good luck my friend.

In my newspaper Freedom...

I shall tell proudly of a German
whose brains could not be bought.

- Thank you, but I should not advise you.
- Oh, I am quite safe, I am a Pole.

My country is not at war, yet.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

And Weber, see that they get better.

- I am ready.
- Hurry, hurry.

I think he'll be all right.

- Dr. Benckendorf?
- He has gone away.

That car that just left, follow it.

- You are wasting your time.
- Sidimir Koslowski, isn't it?

Our time isn't entirely
wasted, you saved us a journey.


Get this, it's hot,
another big escape, Justin Prolov.

- No, no nobody knows he who he is.
- Gentlemen please gentlemen.

The Minister of Propaganda instructs me
to inform all foreign correspondents...

that rumors of a mysterious personage...

helping enemies of the
state to escape from Germany...

are without foundation.

We can assure you there have been no
such escapes and there is no such rescuer.

Furthermore, in Nazi Germany, no
one can hope to be saved by anybody.


- Jordan.
- Yes sir?

Jordan, you are nothing better than a vandal.
A Goth, a spiritual descendant of the Huns.

Whose primary object was
the desecration of beauty.

I wouldn't know what you
mean sir, not without a dictionary.

Yours is the unique privilege of looking
after the fairest goddess of them all.

The one sublime
woman, but how do you treat her?

Look man, look.

Sorry sir.

As a matter of fact, I'm very
fond of Aphrodite, very fond.

- But there's so many of them.
- So many of them?

Well, in a manner of
speaking there are, aren't there sir?

There's only one woman like this.

Look at the symmetry, look at the
grace, look at, look at the dust, Jordan.

Sorry sir, I'll go and get my
feather duster right away sir.

Fond of her?

- Look girls, there's Juno.
- No madam, not Juno.

- Aphrodite Kallipygos.
- Are you sure?

- Well I ought to know, I discovered her.
- Really?

She's just come out of her bath and you
see that towel she's holding in her hand...

That is not a towel madam,
it is a heton, a form of drapery.

It looks like a towel.

Very good, it's a towel
to you, it's a heton to me.

- She's the goddess of plenty...
- No, no, no, the goddess of love.

Of lawful, wedded love.

- She's a respectable goddess girls.
- She's practically perfect, as you can see.

And in the
languishing eye and smiling lips...

there is a boundless compassion for
the folly and ignorance of a blind world.

Very jolly. Yes, very jolly.

Come along girls.

Professor, the college porter
just called for you sir, you're late.

- Late for what?
- Your lecture sir.

Oh, don't be ridiculous,
my lecture isn't till Friday.

- But today is Friday sir.
- Good heavens, how extraordinary.

- What happened to Thursday?
- We had it yesterday sir.

Did we? Did we.

Yes sir.

- Good morning.
- Good afternoon sir.

Where's teacher?

If he doesn't hurry,
the lecture will be over before it starts.

Well, I've sent the porter to rout him out.

Half an hour is nothing.
He didn't turn up at all last week.

- Hey, look at that boy, that beautiful?
- I think it's insulting being so late.

Oh, what do you expect Bibbi? Archeologists
are always a thousand years behind the times.

No Mr. Maxwell, a mere matter of 35 minutes.

Which compels me to omit
two thirds of my lecture...

for which no doubt, you'll be duly grateful.

I shall therefore content myself with merely
giving you something to think about...

till our next meeting.

The constitution of ancient Greece...

bears witness
to both practical and spiritual influences.

For example, every line of the
Parthenon either returns to mother Earth...

or slopes gently upwards to the heavens.

What is that?

- That sir? That's a dice.
- Dice?

What's it doing here?

It showed a regrettable
tendency to return to mother Earth.

- You better remove it.
- Yes sir.

Give it to me.

Mr. Maxwell, I often wonder
what persuaded you to join this class.

My old man figured that a
course of archeology sober me.

- He figured in vain.
- Anyhow, he was crazy my coming to England.

That I can well understand, but to continue.

But professor, could I have my dice sir?

To continue.

In the Parthenon, we see the
working of the spiritual influence.

While in the dwelling houses
of the Greeks we find the practical...

as emphasized by a strict division of
the women's quarters from the men's.

An arrangement which
in my view proves the vast...

superiority of
Greek civilization over our own.

He's always making cracks at us.

Greek women, moreover, were
condemned to habitual seclusion.

An admirable practice which unfortunately
is not followed in this university.

Do you object to our presence here professor?

Oh, I can't object, I can merely deplore it.

Now that we've succeeded...

somewhat elaborately,
in getting rid of the female students,

I'd like to have a word with you.

For some time past, I've been...

making excavations in Central
Europe, for the purpose of discovering...

traces of an Aryan civilization.

Oh, I'm perfectly serious gentlemen.

It may surprise you to learn the German
government is most interested in the idea.

Next week, the term comes to an end.
Yes Mr. Maxwell, it comes to an end.

And in the vacation...

I've decided that I might take
a few archeology students with me.

How is the idea appeal to you?

- It appeals enormously to me sir.
- And me sir.

- I'd like to come sir.
- So would I sir.

If the financial requirements
can be kept within reasonable limits.

I think I can guarantee
that Mr. Mclntyre, that's four.


Not a very flattering response.

Would I be allowed to
bring my young sister sir?

No Mr. Elsted, I'm seeking to avoid
the company of females in general...

and young sisters in particular.

I assume you would not be
interested Mr. Maxwell.

No sir, I spend my
vacations in the present, not the past.

Good, good.

Professor, aren't we asking for trouble
going to Germany at a time like this?


I mean, I'd like to come too, but the jolly
old blue might go up at any moment, you know.

Why, I hadn't thought of that.
A rough house is just my meat is.

Mr. Maxwell, I've already
accepted your refusal.

No, I take it back prof, you can count me in.

- Oh, but I assure you...
- Now prof, you might need a few huskies.

And I'm a whale at organization.

You say the word and
I'll run the whole outfit.

Mr. Maxwell, one of the
chief attractions of this expedition...

was the thought that for three
whole months I wouldn't be seeing you.

However, now that's to
remind me of something.

Of course, crumpets for tea.

Well, think it over gentlemen.

Those of you who want more information
can come and see me in the morning.

Good day.

I'll be around with the
whole thing scheduled after dinner.

Come on boys.

'Twas brillig and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:


All mimsy were the borogoves, a...

- Professor, good afternoon.
- Good afternoon.

How are you, pray?

Late for my crumpets as a matter of fact...

which unlike wine,
do not improve with keeping.

- Good day sir.
- Ah, one moment.

It may have escaped your memory
that I am the dean of this college.

Oh, so you are sir, so sorry.

But you will hardly have
forgotten Dr. Benckendorf.

- My goodness, the guinea pig.
- My old friend, how good it is to see you.

- Well, well, well, must be nearly 20 years.
- All of that, I am afraid.

Ah, this is wonderful. How are the
experiments coming along? I tell you what.

You must come round to my rooms
after hall and we'll talk the clock around.

May I remind you that the doctor is my guest.

No no no, you're both of
you my guests, come along.

Well, goodbye.

Extraordinary fellow.

Well, now that the dean
is left us, tell me all about it.

- The serum was a success, eh?
- I left before I had the final proof.

- Oh, that's too bad.
- On the other hand, I still have my life.

It's hard to believe
conditions are as bad as you say.

They are worse, my friend.
My escape was a miracle.

So it seems.

I very much regret, I am
unable to thank my rescuer.

By the way, who was he?
And how on earth did he manage it?

I have no idea, he
came and went like a shadow.

An invisible bodyguard.
Every detail was arranged for me.

- From the time I left my home.
- Regular Cook's tour, eh?

Well anyway, you're safe and alive
and able to get on with your work.

Yes, I like to believe
it was because of my work that he did it.

Not a bad reason.

It is difficult for people like us to
understand the motives of a true adventurer.

- You and I are not men of action my friend.
- No, I hate violence.

It seems such a paradox to kill a man
before you can persuade him what's right.

So uncivilized.

Bless my soul, what's that?

Everything is lined up prof and I brought
the bunch along for a final check-up.

- I said tomorrow.
- Sure, but I make you advance by 12 hours.

Now look chief, use the itinerary
of the times of arrival and departure.

An iron ration will be carried by all...

and personal luggage restricted
to 28 pounds and we're all set to go.

Go away, don't you realize that I...

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh say prof, can I have my bones? Dice.

- No, they're my bones now.
- You're welcome prof, see in the morning.

- Good heavens, did I dream all that?
- I'm afraid not.

We're all set to go.

- My home is in Oy.
- Oy?

Oy, but when I am on duty, I
am billeted at the chalet.

- Do you think he'd bite me?
- No, not unless I tell him to.

Come here gentlemen, I want you
to meet a friend of mine from Oy.

Hello, how are you?

I say, professor, we're not going to walk
right on out of Germany today, are we?

My feet are giving out.

Do you think they'll manage to
carry you another 20 hours Mr.Gregson?

What's all this barbed wire for?

We're at the German-Swiss frontier
gentlemen and the barbed wire is...

to prevent the oppressed Swiss
from escaping into free Germany.

- Say, you see what I see?
- What you mean? The cow?

Yeah, the cow.

Yeah, believe it or not,
boys, that's a Bonhoeffer cow.

They produce less milk than our Jersey cows.

Really, you must tell me more
of your experiences some other time.

- Here.
- Here.

- Come on Gretchen, let's hear a few.
- Yes, come on.

♪ You'll take the high road,
and I'll take the low road... ♪

♪ I'll be in Scotland before ye ♪

♪ For me and my true love
will never meet again. ♪

♪ On the bonnie, bonnie
banks of Loch Lomond. ♪

Come on boys, Annie Lloyd.

- Everything all right, Herr Professor?
- Everything is splendid.

- And the coffee is excellent.
- I'm glad it's to your taste sir.

Still at it prof?

Yes, we shall only be doing
about 15 miles tomorrow.

It'll seem like standing still.

- Well, have you got our marching orders?
- Yeah, just another 15 miles.

Does he never relax?

He's like a man hunted by a
conscience, forever forging ahead.

- There must be reason for it.
- There is, sex starvation.

- Go on.
- No kidding.

- Maybe you're right.
- Well, can't we do something about it?

Say, that's quite an idea.

Tootle on that flootle
Jock, I'm going into action.

My flooting.

Now gentlemen, since you're
all in such magnificent spirits...

I've decided to alter
slightly tomorrow's itinerary.

- It'll be now 20 miles.
- 20 miles, but that's...

- We'll make it 19 miles.
- Yes.

Now, as you all know,
we're now at Unter Sitzenberg.

Altitude 5,000 feet.

In the morning, we
shall climb to 8,000 feet, feet.

And in the afternoon...

Yes, on second thought...

we'll postpone discussion about
the afternoon's operations until later.

And so gentlemen, to bed.
The call tomorrow morning is 5:30 A. M.

- Hello.
- Hello Hans.

- Have some coffee?
- No, no, I want to go to bed.

Now take it easy Admiral,
I never shave in the evening.

- It's getting late Herr Professor.
- Thank you for reminding me my friend.

♪ Goodnight ladies, goodnight ladies. ♪

♪ Goodnight ladies. ♪

- ♪ We draw you now ♪
- Silence, go to sleep.

If you're looking for dames,
there aren't enough to go around.

- Oh, wanted me sir?
- Yes, come.

- Anybody come in here just now?
- There's no one here but the English party.

- So?
- I haven't seen anyone sir.

- Are you sure?
- Yes sir.

I've been here since I came off duty.


Well he's in Switzerland by now.
There'll be the devil to pay for this.

Get your post.

You don't expect me to believe that nonsense?

- Yes I do.
- It couldn't be the same man.

- It might be.
- It couldn't be.

Here, here, here, here,
he couldn't be everywhere.

- He could.
- And last night here on the Swiss frontier.

- Let's go see how reports are coming in.
- Right.

- What the latest about Planker?
- Oh, a message from Breslov.

No information regarding identity of unknown
man who assisted in Karl Planker's escape.

- Still no news of this fellow.
- Means trouble for someone.

Any news?

Message from Hamburg.

No information
regarding identity of unknown man...

who prevented the execution of Josef Fiatz.

Breslaw, Hamburg, Belgian frontier,
French frontier. All the same, no news.

Planker seems to have got away.

Over the Swiss border
same as Josef and Blumenfeld.

Shankenhurst went through Holland.

But it's this damn shadow that
Graum is after, if we can believe in it.

Well I do.

You call this thing a report?

What is the use Herr Kommandant...

of the Gestapo arresting enemies of the
Reich if you permit them to escape?

- Every precaution was taken.
- That's no excuse for your conduct.

We are answerable for our conduct to
General Von Graum, not to his assistant.

Kindly have my report delivered.

I'm afraid you'll regret that
Herr Kommandant please wait outside.


- Take this report to General Von Graum.
- Yes sir.

- Oh, don't you think...
- At once.

Yes sir.

Get out, you...

- Oh, Hoffman...
- Yes?

- Oh, hello Schmidt.
- Take this report...

- in there,
- What is it?

Another report from the prison
kommandant about Karl Planker's escape.

- I'm sorry, just going to have my lunch.
- Hoffman, this is an order.

Herr Reich Minister.

Know your enemy, I am told that
the English have a secret weapon.

Their sense of humor and
I am determined to find out all about it.

For instance, PG Wodehouse.


The man with the beard sighed.
Down in the forest something stirred.

- Is that funny?
- No, it's not funny.


Now, the famous English
humoristic journal Punch.

Young lady at telephone.

You say you've met an officer and a
gentleman. Well, bring them both up.

- Not funny?
- No, not funny.

Good, now Edward Lear.

There was an old man of
Bengal went to a fancy dress ball.

He said I'll risk it and go as a biscuit
and the dog ate him up in the hall.

- Very unfunny.
- Yes, very.

Now Herr Lewis Carroll.

Alice Through the Looking Glass.

Twas brillig and the slithy toves
did gyre and gimble in the wabe.

- Painful rubbish.
- Very painful.

Oh, I've come to the conclusion that
the English sense of humor is a myth.

They have no sense of humor...

and therefore they have no secret weapon,
the whole thing is a complete bluff.

Yes, yes.

Ah, but wait,
when I am Gauleiter of London...

I shall see to it
that there is no talk of sense of humor.

Oh you will, Herr Reich Minister.

- Oh, what is this?
- A report on the escape of Karl Planker.

Schmidt and Marx, bring them here. Get them.

I shall see the prisoner
Koslowski in three minutes.

Ah, come in gentlemen, come in.

Incompetent clowns.

- You've read this report?
- I have sir.

I told the prison kommandant what to expect.

You did, eh?

The frontiers are watched,
all foreigners questioned.

It won't be long before we get
the man who arranged these escapes.

- Oh, then you have his description?
- Hardly sir.


And it never occurred to you to question
the one man who could give it to you?

Who sir?

Send in Sidimir Koslowski.

- Of course.
- Just so.

A more impatient man might resent having
to supply all the brains in his department.

- Prisoner Koslowski.
- Ah, just the man we want to see.

I wanted to have a little
chat with you about freedom.

Oh, not the paper you edit,
but your own personal freedom.


At our last interview I
asked you to let me have a list...

of the persons who
had contributed matter to your...

paper contrary to the interests of the Reich.

- You did.
- Well suppose we forget that.

It'll save you a lot of disappointment.

And suppose you answer
me a much simpler question.

In return for what?

Ticket to Warsaw, the freedom
of your own country, while it exists.

What do you want?

A description of the man who
prevented the arrest of Dr. Benckendorf.

I can't give it.

You were present at the time.

A trained observer must've
noticed some little peculiarity.

How he walked, he talked, his height.

- What was his nationality?
- I've no idea.

Oh come.

Very well then, under duress.

He was seven feet high
and covered with red hair.

I see.

- You are, I believe, a married man.
- Correct.

But with Europe in its
present state, my family is abroad.

- Your family consisting of one daughter?
- Yes.

- She is safely in America.
- In America?


Thank you.

Good day.

Is it the real thing sir?

No Master Gregson, I'm afraid it's just a
flint from one of Mr. Hitler's new roads.

- Letter for you prof.
- Oh, thank you.

I'm very sorry Mr. Gregson.

Well, look at that. Oh that's very pretty.

- An invitation from our embassy in Berlin.
- Berlin?

Oh, that seems an awful long way away.

Wait a minute, don't tell me you've forgotten
we're all set for Berlin tomorrow morning?

- Are we?
- Sure.

- What time are we leaving?
- 9:52.

- Oh, AM?
- AM.

And I'm going to write it down. 9:52.

- Now it's right here in your pocket.
- Thank you, thank you.

Well gentlemen, I shall
see you on the train, 9:58.

- Two.
- Two.

But where are you going tonight sir?
Aren't you going to stay here?

Probably, probably.

Don't worry about me.

You know, some guys
should go around in a lead.

- What did I tell you?
- Get rid of it, you fool.

- What are you doing you two?
- Nothing.

- You were looking at something.
- I was only looking at his hands.


Because they're the hands
of the world's greatest pianist.

Well, who wants to
look at the dirty hands of a dirty loafer?

- I shall report you for this, name?
- Meyer Karl Meyer.

Get on with your work or
you'll have a taste of this.

How do you expect be rescued from this place?

- Nothing but fields and open country.
- I don't know, but I believe.

- There have been others, you know.
- Stop talking there.

Next time is any trouble
it'll be one of you scarecrows.

Gosh, the shadow is been at it again.
World famous pianist escapes from labor camp.

Let's have a look.

Karl Meyer the pianist...

is reported to have crossed the
French frontier in an exhausted condition.

It is suggested that
his escape is effected...

by the mysterious
personage believed to have been...

responsible for similar
rescues of other enemies of the Reich.

Oh, what a game, what a game.

Better than burrowing
like a rabbit for bits of the past.

- That guy has guts.
- Even a rabbit has guts Mr.Maxwell.

Sounds awfully sensational.

- Wonder how he does it.
- By taking a chance.

They'll catch him on
the hop one of these days.

They always catch that
sort of bloke, don't they sir?

In the deplorable argue of
you moderns, I wouldn't know.

The man penetrated the camp
in the guise of a scarecrow.

- In the guise of a scarecrow?
- Here let's have a look.

Guise of a scarecrow,
he was undoubtedly wounded.

For a ragged coat with a blood-soaked sleeve
was picked up when the escape was effected.

Blood soaked sleeve? Very melodramatic.

Pipped in the arm, eh?

I wouldn't pay too much attention
to newspaper reports gentlemen.

Well, I suppose one can
get a wash on this train.

- Yes, yes, that's a good idea.
- Think I'll have a wash too.

- Right, a wash.
- My hands are perfectly clean.

What on earth is the
matter with you gentlemen?

- Prof.
- Just so Mr.Maxwell.

But a sensible fellow
would keep his mouth shut.

Oh gee, oh boy, oh boy.

Well kick me from here to Christmas.

Apart from the wearisomeness
of such an undertaking,

I'm the one who should be kicked.

For the not unnatural mistake of
underestimating your intelligence.

- But how did you get into the racket?
- Trouble was to keep out of it.

You see, when a man holds the
view that progress and civilization...

depend in every age on the hands
and brains of a few exceptional spirits...

it's rather hard to stand
by and see them destroyed.

But how did you get
away with it? You of all people?

Mr. Maxwell, I'm not a spectacular person.

In fact, a natural capacity for...

melting into the landscape
has suddenly proved very useful.

I guess you're one of the
greatest guys in creation.

That Mr.Maxwell, is a gross overstatement.

Actually I'm a singularly weak person,
who invariably gives way to his impulses.

Fellas, come back here, on all force.

Well gentlemen, I hope
you feel duly refreshed.

Yes, thank you sir.

Professor, may I shake you by the hand?

Certainly Mr. Mclntyre, especially
as we shall soon be saying goodbye.

- Goodbye?
- Goodbye?

What else? Now that
you've discovered my guilty secret.

- Yes, we got something to say about that.
- Plenty to say.

- Yes, we've been talking it over ourselves.
- Yes, we want to be in it sir.

We are in it, up to the
neck and through to the finish.

Oh no you're not.

Oh yes we are, otherwise I'm afraid
we'll have to give the whole show away.

Eh fellas?

- What is this gentlemen? Blackmail?
- Well, a nice kind of blackmail.

Yes. Yes, I'll attend to it at once.

Hello? Hello?

I can't hear a word, I'll ring you back.

Gentlemen please, I can't hear my own voice.

I'm sorry.

Nowhere else you can
go to perpetrate these noises?

- Characteristics are purely French.
- Rubbish.

The phrase or one like it
occurs in no fewer than...

- seven compositions of Lubach's early work.
- Nothing like it.

Well at least we're agreed about the tempo.

I maintain there is a
modulation in the second movement.

But I heard the record
and I didn't notice it.

Well if you'd listened more
carefully you'd have heard...

that the tempo of the second movement
is far slower than the tempo of the third.

Gentlemen please, will you be quiet.

Here in this building we are supposed
to know everything that goes on in Germany.

You can hardly expect me to
believe that these escapes...

were effected without treachery somewhere.

Herr Reich Minister, we've given
all the information we possess.

- If my loyalty is in question, I resign.
- Resign, that is your valuable contribution?

Sit down. Now, let us examine
once more the available evidence.

First, a scrap of music
whistled in the night.

Beg your pardon Herr Reich
Minister, it went this way.

No, this way.

No no no.

Stop that.

The origin of the tune is being
traced by a committee of experts.

Secondly, the corner of a card
found in the pocket of the scarecrow's coat.

- Send in Herr Zigor.
- Where is it?

Here it is.

A piece of paste board.

Gild aged, with RSVP printed
in copper plate on one side...

and the figures 9:52 in
pencil on the reverse.

- Well?
- It must be part of an invitation card sir.

Oh, well done Herr Schmaus.

And that being so it is possibly one of a
number issued for the same reception.

Is it beyond the power of the gestapo to
trace where that reception is being held?

- Herr Zigor is here.
- Well?

Unfortunately sir...

none of the persons who overheard
the whistling that followed each escape...

has enjoyed a musical education.

So we have endeavored to...

crystallize their renderings into a
single musical phrase and score it, there.

I asked you to trace
the origins of the phrase.

It starts with a 27 bar of the third
movement of Lubach's concerto in G minor.

- May I play it for you?
- No, I will.

Sit down, put on the record
made by the frontier guard.

But don't start it.

Lubach's concerto, I don't believe it.

Put on the record.

Oh, stop it.


Here at last we have
something, come over here, all of you.

You see? Identical.

Absolutely identical.

The British Embassy reception.

- That means he must be English.
- Does it? How interesting.

And the fact that I too have received
an invitation means that I must be English.

Thank you gentlemen for
your invaluable help, you may all go.

And you.

What do you doing here?

- I was just collecting some papers.
- What for?

I don't know, I always do.

- What's your name?
- Wagner, Herr General.

- You like music Wagner?
- Not very much Herr General.

Do you like this melody?

It's quite nice, for an English tune.

Did you say English tune?

Why of course, an old English song.
There is a Tavern in the Town.

- Come here Wagner.
- Herr General?

Don't be nervous, you shall be rewarded.

You are a genius, you shall
have a signed picture of the Fuhrer.

Have a chocolate.

His excellency the Peruvian
minister and Madam Gordia.

Lord and Lady Grabett.

How are you my dear?

- The ambassador here?
- No, no, he had to fly to London.

- Oh, things as bad as that, eh?
- Well hope springs eternal, eh?

Herr Reich Minister, General Von Graum.

- My felicitations.
- So glad you were able to come.

I never miss an opportunity of cementing the
friendship between Britain and the Reich.

Oh, it's very happily put.

I hope you will be able to
come to the Nuremberg rally?

Yes, I hope so,
what's it in honor of this year?

- Peace.
- Ah?

Captain and Madam Lacroix.

Colonel and Mrs. Channing and Lady Eva Plumb.

- That man over there.
- Where?

By the table.

The one by the fireplace with the beard.

Idiot, that's one of our men.

The right honorable the Earl of Meadow-brook.

- Hello Bussy, what you've been doing?
- Absolutely nothing.

- My dear fellow, you mustn't overdo it.
- I know.

- Oh, the charming Miss Coles.
- Good evening General.

- General Von Graum.
- Oh yes, of course.

- Not a very good memory, nervous?
- Not in the least.

- Well, you know what you looking for?
- I have my own idea.

Typical English guards
officer, a man about town.

Or perhaps the explorer type.
Strong, silent, resolute.

- Guard's officer, man about town, explorer.
- Perhaps the man there.

Or there, or there.

No, I'm afraid that's not
the type I'm looking for.

- No?
- No.

- I'm looking for brain, not brawn.
- As you will.

Anyhow, all I can tell you is that
the man we want will be here tonight.

See what you can do.

Don't forget the
General's name again, you know.

- Thank you sir.
- Sir Roger and Lady Tadworth.

Your card please sir.

- Thank you.
- This way please.

Thank you sir.

His excellency the Chilean ambassador.

- You got a match?
- I'll get you one sir.

Thank you.

Señor and señorita Goya.

- Old soldiers.
- Yes sir.

I'm sorry sir.

Professor Horatio Smith.

- Hello George.
- Hello Horace.

- Well I've come as I promised.
- Well that's splendid.

- Can I go now?
- Oh, I should stay a bit and enjoy yourself.

- Alright.
- That's a nice suit, you make it yourself?

Certainly not, a fellow in Cambridge
made it for me when I was 17.

Alice, I'd like you to meet
my brother Professor Smith.

- Lady Willoughby.
- Not the Professor Smith?

Why only the other day someone said
I was the image of your Aphrodite.

What do you think?

Well, it's rather hard to judge, you see,
I only know my Aphrodite in the nude.

Horace, I don't know whether
these details of your private life...

Yes well, to the pure all things impure.

If I were you I should
take things a bit easy.

It's alright, my head is like iron.
In more ways than one, believe me.

Say, there's the prof.

- And it looks like he wants me.
- You mean us.

- Who is that?
- I've no idea.

- He's here.
- How you know?

- I've just been upstairs and...
- Have you noticed that sir?

I do my best not to Mr.Gregson.

I'll bet she's got
a headache holding that up.

Yes, let that serve as a
reminder to you gentlemen...

that the rendezvous is 11:30 at Dvorak's.

- And I think I know who he is.
- Oh, who?

I don't speak until I'm certain.

I thought you said there were half a
dozen cards with their corners torn off.

Yes, but only one that will
exactly fit the one that I have here.

I can hardly imagine
the man you're looking for...

being wise enough to tear
the corners from half a dozen and...

foolish enough to leave his own card.

- You are a very intelligent young woman.
- Very intelligent of you to realize it.

Now that he's in here I
can promise he won't get out.

I haven't any complaints.

The champagne is not too
hot, in fact it's lukewarm.

What you expect baby, it's free.

See Naples and die.
Boy, do you see what I see?

Now is your chance.

Got to do things artistically, it's a
different approach to each type, watch me.

Excuse me.

Oh, I'm so sorry, I thought
you were somebody else.

- Von Graum.
- Smith.

Clearly a case of mistaken identity,
I'm looking for Jekyll and I find Hyde.

Jekyll? Hyde? Oh, an English joke.

- Well, hardly a joke.
- Well excuse me.

No no no, you mustn't go,
tell me more about yourself.

I'm always interested in
local customs and habits.

- For instance, what do you do with yourself?
- I hunt for the enemies of the Reich.

Do you? Do you get much shooting? Oh waiter.

- Well excuse me, I think someone wants me.
- No no no, not til you had your coffee.

They tell me the British Embassy is the last
place in Germany where it can be obtained.

In Germany we have discovered that a
substitute can be better than the real thing.

Ah, the story of the grapes, eh?

Tell me, is it a fact that in your country,
there's no longer any freedom of speech?

All lies, all lies of
the degenerate, plutocratic press.

Ah, is that so? Well then, you see that
journalism is so untrustworthy, isn't it?

May I ask what brings
you to Germany Herr Smith?

A thirst for knowledge.

I'm trying to discover
whether there was or was not...

- an Aryan civilization in this country.
- There was.

Ah, some people say there
wasn't, but I shall find out.

Here's a whiskey Bussy,
what will you have in it?

- Absolutely nothing.
- You know it is extraordinary.

Bussy's vocabulary
consists of absolutely nothing.

- It's sublime.
- It's ridiculous.

- It can mean anything.
- And it can mean absolutely nothing.

- It can even be an insult.
- Or a password.


Tell me, I am curious.
Your English humorist Lewis Carroll.

Why does he write such idiocy? Listen.

Twas brillig and the slithy toves
did gyre and gimble in the wabe.

- Does not make sense.
- But it does.

Twas brillig and the slithy toves
did gyre and gimble in the wabe.

All mimsy were the borogroves
and the mome raths outgrabe.

- It makes perfect sense.
- But what is it means?

Means whatever you want it to mean.

You can either use it lyrically or
as I'm afraid I do sometimes...

- in place of swear words.
- Extraordinary.

As a matter of fact you
know ever since I've been in Germany...

I've felt exactly like Alice in Wonderland.

- Oh, but Germany is a Wonderland.
- Oh it is, it is.

But we have one problem. To be or
not to be, as our great German poet said.

German? But that's Shakespeare.

- But you don't know.
- I know it's Shakespeare.

- I thought Shakespeare was English.
- No no, Shakespeare is a German.

Professor Schutzbacher has
proved it once and for all.

Oh dear, how very upsetting.

Still, you must admit that the
English translations are most remarkable.

Good night.

Goodnight, goodnight,
parting is such sweet sorrow.

What is that?

One of the most famous
lines in German literature.

- You haven't even told me your name.
- It's Ludmilla.

- What a lullaby, Millie for short?
- No.


- Have you noticed the music stopped?
- Oh, right back to earth again.

Let's talk about you for a change.

Apart from being American, what are you?

I'm a student of archeology.

- Very funny.
- On the level.

I'm a member of the Professor
Smith expedition and proud of it.


Oh, the vague person I saw you talking to?

Looks as though he hated
coming into the middle of a room?

- The greatest guy that ever drew breath.
- Really?

I always said one
shouldn't go by appearances.

I could tell you things about him
that'd knock the legs from under you.

You could? Then do.

No, I guess you have to take my word for it.

Then get me a glass of
champagne to make up for it.


I'm certain it's him, I've
just been listening to him.

- What did he say?
- Absolutely nothing.

- Then why bother me?
- But that's what he said.

- Did you want me?
- Yes.

Our friend Marx thinks
that it's that fellow over there.

- What's your opinion?
- I wouldn't have said so.

- Oh, you've a better suggestion?
- Yes.

- Yes, I would've said he was more likely.
- That man by the statue.

- You can't be serious, why him?
- Intuition.

That amiable fool?
I just wasted 10 minutes talking to him.

- Well, that's what I think.
- Intuition?

- Oh, hello George.
- Hello Horace.

- I say George, can I leave now?
- My dear fellow, of course.

- I hope you enjoyed yourself.
- Oddly enough I did.

Quite a pleasure to be on
British territory again, technically.

- Oh, General.
- Excuse me, I have friends.

Of course you have, but do you know
The Walrus and the Carpenter?

Evidently not.

In America they regard
German propaganda stories as jokes.

They are mistaken, in Germany we never joke.

Oh here's that terrible fellow
who's been haunting me all evening.

He's followed me about like a shadow.

Excuse me.

Well, what you want now?

- I want to arrest that man.
- Who?

The man they call Bussy,
the Earl of Meadow-brook.

Here? In the
British Embassy? Don't be a fool.

All the same I want.

- What do you doing with those?
- Absolutely nothing.

Lovely trees.

A midsummer night's dream.

- Oh, I beg your pardon.
- It's quite alright.

Now, I know a balcony where
there isn't so much traffic.

I find it quite pleasant here.

I've been looking for you all over
the place, professor is just leaving.

- He would.
- Well, oughtn't we to be going too?

Scram, will you?

My instructions are that
I am not to let you out of my sight.

Oh, have a heart
please, stick around someplace.

Alright, I'll wait for you on the staircase.

Another party?

Oh, just getting together with the
rest of the gang at a beer cellar.

And of course there wouldn't
be any balconies at a beer cellar.

Well, no. That is, it
be swell of you to come but...

it's just a dump,
I don't think you'd like it.

I bet it couldn't be any worse
than Smokey Joe's on 6th Avenue.

- Say, do you know Smokey Joe's?
- Yes.

- Don't let it go any further.
- Come on, this is got to be another party.

- Can I take your hat sir?
- Thank you.

Well well well well, still at liberty
and they say the age of miracles is past.

Well, you've put on
weight Dvorak, what's the news?

- Democratic league is in trouble.
- What, again?

And they've arrested their
Polish editor Koslowski.

- Oh, those hotheads.
- Ah, Koslowski is a great man.

Yes, I know, but I'm not
interested in politics.

I know, but you should be.

- Good evening gentlemen.
- Good evening sir.

- What was the party like sir?
- It was very instructive Mr.Spencer.

- Now, what you have?
- I think I'll have a pilsner.

- Yes sir.
- Who is that? New waiter?

- Yes he used to be in the telephone service.
- Really?

He was dismissed, little
trouble with an SS man.

- Oh, yes.
- Excuse me.

All ready for tonight sir.

Not so loud, might be a
microphone hidden under the table.

- You don't mean?
- No Mr.Elstead, I don't mean.

We are perfectly safe here.

- Look what's just come in.
- And I wasn't allowed to bring my sister.

- Who is the girl?
- I'm sorry professor, I did my best but...

But someone else did better, I understand.

Hi, allow me to present
Professor Smith, prof, this is Ludmilla.

- A poem from little old New York.
- How do you do?

I'd no idea you were so interested in modern
poetry Mr. Maxwell, won't you sit down?

- Yes, I'd like to...
- No, thank you very much prof.

See you presently.

Well gentlemen, I regret you
were unnecessarily called to this rendezvous.

Nothing doing tonight sir?

On account of Mr. Maxwell's
regrettable preoccupation with...

American poetry, there
will be nothing doing tonight.

But we meet at the excavations
tomorrow, you can have my beer.

- Good night.
- Good night prof.

After route over the
Alps, where did you go then?

- No, no, I'm very interested.
- Well, I'll tell you...

Forgive me for interrupting but...

- haven't I seen you somewhere before?
- Sure Tonight at the Embassy.

Of course, how silly of me.

Well prof, you excuse
us we're going to dance.

We've done quite enough
dancing for one night.

Oh you should've seen her.

Why, she's as light on her
feet as a butterfly on a daffodil.

Not a very happy simile.

When daffodils are in season,
butterflies are mere grubs.

- Oh prof, that's hardly complimentary.
- But scientifically accurate.

As I rather expected the professor would be.

Thank you.

Could you be an angel and
get my handbag? I must've left it in the car.

- Well I...
- Please?

- Ok.
- Well...

- We seem to be alone.
- So we do.

Your friend is been telling
me all sorts of flattering things about you.

Has he?

- I hope you didn't believe them.
- Well, I prefer to judge for myself.

Oh, then I must be on my best behavior.

I should hate you to leave
here with the wrong impression.

I should hate to leave
with the wrong impression.

Naturally, naturally.

- Who's the girl?
- I don't know who she is,

- He wouldn't go away without her.
- But you were with her all evening?

But I don't know who she is.

- I looked everywhere, it isn't there.
- What isn't there?

- Her handbag.
- But it's here.

It's been there all the time.

Good night.

Good night.

What very strange man.

A swell guy but vague.

I wouldn't have said vague.

- What? Going already Professor?
- Dvorak...

you see my impulsive
young American friend over there?

I see him.

You see the mysterious young woman with him?

- I see her.
- Be a good fellow and investigate.

What you think?

I don't think anything but I'd like to know.

- Good night.
- Goodnight professor.

Thank you sir.

I think you made a mistake, this is my room.

Aren't you being rather unwise?

I want to talk to you.

I dare say you do but
this is neither the time nor the place.

Don't worry, no one saw
me come into the room.

Then let's hope no one
sees you go out, good night.

No, you got to listen to me.

I am rather desperate
and I do need your help.

You may not believe a word I say...

but before I leave
this room you will believe.

Now my dear young lady, I do wish you...

No, no please don't say
anything until you've heard me.

Do you know of a Polish paper called Freedom?

I am familiar with it, yes.

Have you heard of its
editor Sidimir Koslowski?


Some weeks ago
he came to Berlin for material.

- He was arrested.
- Yes, he would be.

They put him in a concentration camp.

- They would.
- He happens to be my father.

I received a cable in
New York which I believed was from him.

Begging me to come at once.
It wasn't from him, it was from the gestapo.

They've been trying to force him to
give the names of his journal associates.

But he wouldn't speak, nothing they
could do would make him speak.

So they hit on the idea of
getting me over to persuade him.

- And did you?
- You don't know my father.

He's fearless, unshakable.

No two people were ever closer than he and I.

He filled my life with love and tenderness.

He's wonderful.

That's why I don't care
what I do to earn his freedom.

There's nothing, nobody I
wouldn't sacrifice for that.

- I think he's worth it.
- He must be.

He is.

So I made a bargain with Graum.

He promised to let my father go...

if I helped him find the man who is
been responsible for all these escapes.

- And have you?
- Yes.

But I don't want to be
forced to give him away.

Why not?

Because I admire what he's doing.

- Why are you telling me all this?
- You are that man.

What dreadful nonsense you do talk.

I guessed it the moment I saw you and the
admiration of that boy David convinced me.

You and your party were near the
frontier post when Karl Planker escaped.

Your diggings were only
a few miles from the concentration...

camp where a scarecrow came
to life, you are that man, I know it.

Aren't you?

Tell me.

- Well, won't that be enough for tonight?
- Tell me.

I know you're quite
harmless but please please go.

Before I go, you got to choose.

Either you help my father to escape...

or I go straight to the
gestapo and tell them what I know.

Very well, go there quickly.
I hope they'll prove less skeptical than I.

What on earth you crying for? What I've done?

You brought this all on yourself.
I didn't ask you to come here.

I am horrified at the idea of a strange woman
in my rooms and a woman in tears at that.

Or are they tears?

Yes, they are.

Well they don't have any
effect on me, believe me.

Here, mop them up with that you look awful.

And don't you try any
more fairy tales with me.

Here, you've forgotten your...

Have you noticed a delightful
smell everywhere this morning?

You mean the egg?

Everything smells delightful to me but...

of course you wouldn't
understand that Mr.Maxwell.

- You're sure you feel alright prof?
- I feel splendid, thank you.

Now Dvorak tell me, why are
you here so early in the morning?

You asked me to get you some
information about a certain young lady.

- So I did.
- Well I got it.

In the first place her name
isn't Coles at all, it's Koslowski.

- In the second place, she's...
- Don't tell me any more.

- Now I feel even better.
- What is all this?

Trailing a girl with
whom I've a luncheon date.

- Have you?
- Sure.

Good, that'll save me a telephone call.

- Prof, I don't get it.
- Exactly.

You made the same mistake I did.

The trouble with us Mr. Maxwell,
is that we don't understand women.

We've even forgotten they
use powder on their faces.


Can I help you?

- Are you French?
- Yes.

- You're not German?
- No, I'm still French.

- This is a French shop, you see.
- A French oasis in a German desert.

- What can I do for you monsieur?
- Oh yes, yes. Powder.

- Powder?
- Powder yes, I'd like some powder.

Certainly, but what kind
of powder, bath tooth, talcum?

- Face?
- Oh face, face.

- Any special make?
- I beg your pardon?

- Which make would you prefer?
- Well I, what would you suggest?

- I always use Dory.
- Do you?

- Always.
- I'll have some of that.

You won't regret it, what shade?

Well what shades have you got?

I'm afraid all that's
rather beyond me, I'll be back tomorrow.


What is she like?

Well, I really don't quite
remember, she's sort of...

- What's her coloring?
- Dark.

Brunette, I know what you want.

You take this.

- I'll have a pound of that.
- A pound? That will last a lifetime.

- This is the biggest box I've got.
- Well, I'll have two of those.

Two? Very well.

Don't bother to wrap
it up, I'll just take it the way it is.

- How much is that?
- That will be 42 marks monsieur.

42 marks.

Thank you, will you allow me?

- Born in France?
- Born in France.

It's remarkable.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

- Hello prof, been to a wedding?
- Good morning Mr. Maxwell.

Good morning, I hope you'll forgive me
for having invited myself to luncheon.

- Certainly fine you are here.
- Yours, I believe.

- What's this?
- Your handbag.

Thank you.

Yes, I would've run after you last night...

but unfortunately everything
fell and scattered all over the place.

I reached home before I
realized I had left it behind.

Say, when did all this happen?

As a matter of fact your powder was spilt
too and I bought you some to make up for it.

- Needn't have bothered.
- Oh, is no bother at all, there.

Rosé, my favorite shade.

- How did you know?
- Intuition.

What's going on?

First you're darn rude to each
other and now look at this.

Well, now to business, where's the menu?

- By the way, whose luncheon is this?
- Mine.

- No it's not, it's mine.
- So is the bill.

Mr. Maxwell...

if you heard that a very remarkable
man had been imprisoned by the Nazis...

what would you do?

- My damnedest to get him out.
- Isn't that amazing?

Every now and then he and I
have exactly the same idea.

Could I have some water please?

Certainly not, Dvorak some champagne.

What kind of champagne?

Oh, dash it, I've had
this conversation before, any kind.

Raschel. Natural.
The best you have, only hurry.

I don't know what to say
to you, Can't quite believe it's true.

Suppose we have some nice
cold trout to start with.

- And we'll follow that with...
- I don't even know where they've taken him.

- No one knows except the Gestapo.
- He's at Grosberg.

What's this? Milk fed lamb
cooked in creme de menthe?

The things they think of.

She's being watched
every minute, here's the report.

- Went up to his room, enterprising?
- In my opinion she's wasting her time.

Yes, the question is, is she wasting ours?

This idiotic archaeologist.

Lunch lasted two hours.

Conversation appeared friendly and animated,
he presented her with a box of powder.

How gallant, how helpful love is.

I don't know what the
Gestapo would do without it.

This is all nonsense. Alright, show her in.

Ah, good day Miss Coles.

Sit down.

You're looking very radiant, it must be love.

I'm afraid not, even though
I did go to his room last night.

- Room, whose room?
- The professor's, didn't you know?

As a new recruit I made
sure I would be followed.

Quite so, but we like
to get our news at first hand.

Very well, here it is at first hand.

You were right and I was wrong.

That professor is crazy and so was
I to think that he's your famous rescuer.

So much for your intuition, eh?

I made a mistake and I'm
afraid I made rather a fool of myself.

Well, Rome wasn't built
in a day, even by Mussolini.

And secret agents aren't
made in a night, you did your best.

- And our bargain still stands?
- But of course.

I've given you my word
as a party member, isn't that enough?

- More than enough.
- You shall have another assignment.

- There are several persons I suspect.
- You are very kind.

Be kinder still and tell
me something, how is my father?

Well I'll find out for
you, let me see, he's at...

At Grosberg.

Of course.

Bring in the Koslowski file.

- Would you like to see your father?
- More than anything.

You don't mean it,
that wasn't in our bargain.

- I want to give you a little encouragement.
- I'd be so grateful if you would.

Thank you.

- He appears to be in excellent health.
- Is he?

Oh, a transfer order.
He's being moved to a more comfortable camp.

- Will I be able to see him there?
- Well I don't see why not.

Excuse me.

Hello? Alright.

I'll be over straight away.
Excuse me, I'll be back in a moment.

Well my dear young lady I...

I'm very busy at the moment
but I'll be sending for you again shortly.

And I hope you and your father will
be together again very soon, goodbye.

Thank you, goodbye.


I didn't believe her Marx,
I didn't believe her but I do now.

- That idiotic archaeologist.
- Sir?

But we've got to have proof.

- But we've absolutely nothing against him.
- You'll see my dear fellow, you'll see.

Now if you'd said the Earl of Meadow-brook...

On Saturday morning I've
got a job for you at Grosberg.

And in the afternoon I shall be there myself.

To be in at the kill, as the English say.

Have a chocolate.

I found out something.

Something which might be of
use to you, look I made a note of it.

My father is being transferred
from Grosberg to Riesenfelt...

- on Saturday afternoon with four other men.
- Who are they?

Schulman, Fleck...

Gruber and Holstein,
that makes five altogether.

- Yes, how did you know?
- Never mind, go on.

They're leaving Grosberg by car at 4:30
and arriving at Risenfelt at about 6.

Now we're getting someplace.
Wouldn't that be our chance prof?

- Saturday afternoon?
- Possibly, yes.

Say, this is terrific, where are those maps?

- You mind if I try to work this out prof?
- Not at all.


Now here is Riesenfelt and here is Grosberg.

That's about 60 miles,
say 45 miles per hour starting 4:30.

We're parked in this road here somewhere.

Look, there's a road at
the bottom of the hill there.

Yeah, they'll be going
through that wood about 5:15.

Yes, we can get a tree across the road there
that ought to hold them up for long enough.

Yeah, then we can scoot down this side road
here and catch the main road to Berlin here.

- How's that prof?
- Sounds alright.

Why surprise is
a principal element, surprise.

- If only you could do something.
- Don't worry, we will.

Well, if I can't be of any more use to you,

- I'll leave you, my taxi is ticking away.
- Goodbye.

Thank you for coming, you've done very well.

- Goodbye.
- I'll show you the way.

Say, where she going?

- That's too late, you missed your chance.
- Alright, say how's that for the plan prof?

- What plan?
- The plan of the escape.

Gentlemen, Mr.Maxwell
was serious about this plan.

But we'll never get another chance like this.

Possibly that's exactly
what the gestapo wanted you to think.

Those guys got to be saved.
Something is got to be done Saturday.

On the contrary, if we do
anything it'll be on Friday.


- But you said Saturday was the day...
- Look prof what I found.

- Is it any use?
- Any use?

- This, this is remarkable.
- Say listen prof, my plan.

1000 BC, I should think.

Never dreamt at anything like this here.

Wait til Oxford University
hear about this, they'll be green with envy.

- My plan prof.
- Oh this is astonishing, really astonishing.

Thank you Mr. Elstead, thank you.

48 hours and he hasn't uttered a word.

- Do you think he's thought of anything?
- Let's ask him.

Say prof, I hate to interrupt the seance...

but have you thought of anything yet?

- Thought of anything?
- That guy Koslowski is got to be rescued.

Oh yes, of course.

That guy Koslowski is got to
be rescued on Friday.

And four other guys with him.

- What, all five of them?
- Well of course.

Jeepers creepers.

As a matter of fact I
have thought of something.

- Yeah?
- Yes.

Have any of you gentlemen
ever considered journalism as a profession?

- Hey, listen...
- No, no, no, no, you listen.

I'm getting now. Alright, here they are.

- I tapped the private line.
- Go to it fella.

Propaganda Ministry?

Gestapo headquarters speaking, department X2.

About those six American journalists.
We are permitting their visit to Grosberg.

The journalists who wish to
accompany Herr Boldenschatz.

Your representative of the Bund.

What you mean you don't know? Then find out.

Hey, take it easy there.

Heil Hitler.

- You wish to see?
- I've seen.

- Heil Hitler.
- No visitors except by appointment.

How long have you
been here? You don't know me?

- Ever heard of the American department?
- Yes sir, I thought...

No, don't apologize, see if you can find
my umbrella, I left it behind the other day.

- Boldenschatz is the name.
- Excuse me.

Well, just the man I wanted to see.

You don't recognize me, but I remember you.

I heard Dr. Goebbels say some
very nice things about you.

- So?
- So keep it to yourself.

How is the baby?

We're getting married
at the end of the month.


- Now, how about the 6 American journalists?
- What about them?

I'm asking you, you don't know anything
about it, get me someone who does.

- Perhaps Herr Gravitz would know.
- Gravitz should know.

Now look here Herr Gravitz, do you know
anything of 6 American journalists?

No. Yes, Smeltz was just asking me.

- There was a message from the Gestapo.
- Who's the head of the department?

- Oh, Herr Steinhof, but he wouldn't know.
- We'll see.


Now look here Stelnhof, where are the
permits for the 6 American journalists?

- Permits?
- Yes, don't you say heil Hitler anymore?

- Heil Hitler.
- Heil Hitler.

- I, I don't think that I know you.
- And what do you know?

- Have you ever heard of America?
- Yes.

- Good, then where are the permits?
- But I...

Now listen, I'm Boldenschatz.

The man who got the Nazi...

party those nice headlines in
America where they don't like you.

I'm the man who put the Nazi
American bund on the map...

and you never even heard of me.

- Let this be a lesson to you gentlemen.
- But...

No no no, let me speak.

I've come all the way from New York...

to correct your blunders
with the American correspondents.

I spent two whole weeks with them,
trying to nurse them into a better humor.

This afternoon I was taking
them to the Grosberg camp...

so they could cable the United States
and tell them not to believe those...

stories they hear about
the German concentration camps,

And you got to spoil everything, I asked for
permits and you haven't got any permits.

- No one told me anything about this.
- The Gestapo did telephone.

Oh, so now you're deliberately
obstructing the Gestapo?

That be the last thing I'd do.

- Perhaps if you came back tomorrow...
- Tomorrow?

Do you want me to keep the
representatives of 6 of the biggest...

newspapers in America waiting
outside this building until tomorrow?

Unless I get those permits in
two minutes, you'll be responsible.

- I'll be responsible?
- Right.

I know what I'll do.

- Get me Dr. Goebbels.
- No, no, Herr Boldenschift, shaft.

- I, I'll find the permits.
- Find them, find them.

There are some here sir.

That's better, now you
can fill them up as we go.

As we go?

Certainly, didn't I
say you're coming with us.

- No no, I have work to do here.
- Oh, this is too much.

- Please get me Dr. Goebbels.
- No, no, no, I can finish the work at home.

Yeah, that's right and we've been
waiting long enough, come along, come along.

You know, the trouble
with you propaganda boys...

you get so used to telling lies, you don't
recognize the truth when you hear it.

Well orders are orders.

- Heil Hitler.
- Heil Hitler.

- You know Gravitz, you're a smart boy.
- Thank you sir.

Yes, you can do something for me.

Ring up the Grosberg camp and
tell them we're on the way.

Have them prepare everything in
the usual Ministry of Propaganda style.

And remember, America is
a soft-hearted democracy.

- You get me?
- Leave that to me Herr Boldenschatz.

- Your umbrella sir.
- Oh, umbrella. Thank you.

Dirty boots.

The journalists
are just arriving Herr Kommandant.

- Heil Hitler.
- Heil Hitler.

I'm Steinhof, minister of Propaganda.

This is Herr Boldenschatz
from Nazi American bund.

- I am honored.
- Heil Hitler.

Allow me to present to you the
Chicago Tribune, Baltimore Sun...

New York Herald Tribune, Boston
Transcript, Philadelphia Public Ledger...

and the Scripps Howard Syndicate.
350 newspapers throughout America, colossal.

- 349.
- I beg your pardon, I love accuracy.

Welcome gentlemen,
let me show you around our little camp.

You will see how happy everybody is.

Come on, do your propaganda stuff.
You can talk, can't you?

You see gentlemen, there is plenty of food.

Eggs, vegetables, bread,
butter, jam and fruit.

A real fruit.


- Is everybody happy?
- Yes sir.

Everybody is happy.

- The eggs were fresh for breakfast?
- Yes, Herr Kommandant.

The eggs were fresh.

- For breakfast.
- Good.

In this hut, we have some men who were
stupid enough to insult our beloved Fuhrer.

The editor of an anarchist Polish paper,
and four misguided German contributors.


Well, I'm glad you all learn the truth.

In America they have the idiotic
idea that German concentration camps...

are full of unhappy people.

And the truth is the American
people only pretend to be democratic.

At heart they are 100%
national socialists, I thank you.

Heil Hitler.

Well, goodbye Boldenschatz.

You were the quintessence of all the
most objectionable men I ever met...

but you served a noble purpose.

I don't often lose my
nerve, but can't we get on?

Alright, he's just coming.

He's just been to telephone to make sure
it's clear for you to go to your destination.

All fixed.

Halt, left turn.

- All ready for visiting rounds sir?
- I'm ready, carry on Sergeant.

Left turn, march.

Visiting rounds, get up.

What are they doing
down there? Stir them up Sergeant.

Get up.

- It's the Herr Kommandant.
- Herr Kommandant?

Bring that light a bit
closer, what's happened sir?

He's unconscious.
Someone must've hit him on the head.

Herr Kommandant, Herr Kommandant.

Why didn't you know about this, you fool?

Oh gee.

Oh boy.

My head is like the inside of a beehive.

Talk about pile drivers.

What's happened?

Journalist slugged by
guerrillas, American flag insulted.

Where's that phony
Boldenschatz? He started it.

Alarm bell, turn out
the guard. Telephone Berlin.

Gentlemen, my apologies, I don't understand.
I'll get you a car to take you to Berlin.

- Boldenschatz.
- Ah, you ought to be pasted to the wall.

Here, snap out of it fellas
and get into these pants.

The gentleman, who could
foresee? The gestapo telephoned.

You give me 5 minutes with a trans Atlantic
telephone and there won't be a Gestapo.

- Gentlemen, I apologize.
- Ah, save it.

How could a simple sort of man like myself...

imagine that instead of
attempting to rescue your father tomorrow...

as I expected you to do after you had
so carefully examined my papers...

- you would rescue him today?
- What you mean? What do you mean?

Your acting is very clever,
but I'm getting a little bored with it.

Your accomplice may
have rescued your father but...

but please remember that you are still here.

- My father is escaped?
- Yes, astounding, isn't it?

- Herr Reich Minister, Steinhof is here.
- Bring him in.

Take her in there.

Good evening.

And you are the man who
has just been bluffed by this obvious hoax?

- The Gestapo must hold it self responsible.
- For what?

For the incompetence and
stupidity of the Ministry of Propaganda?


Couldn't any of you checked up on his story?

- We are not policemen.
- Unfortunately.

You recognize the man if you saw him again?

I have an excellent
memory for faces, thank you.

I may give you an opportunity
to prove it before long. Marx...

- Ah Marx, that archaeologist.
- Professor Smith?

Yes Professor Smith, I want to
see him here at once. Bring him.

- But he's...
- Do you want me?

- Did you want to see me?
- Yes.

- That's odd, because I wanted to see you.
- Come in here.

Thank you.

I'm so glad to find you're not busy because
I've been doing a little research work.

- That's just what I wanted to do.
- On the identity of Shakespeare.

I'd like to know how
you spent this afternoon?

What's the matter with you? You seem upset.

I spent the afternoon at
the library at the Embassy.

Now this...

this proves conclusively that Shakespeare
wasn't really Shakespeare at all.

- No?
- No.

He was the Earl of Oxford.

Now you can't pretend that the
Earl of Oxford was a German, can you?

- Now, can you?
- No, no.

Well, there you are.

Herr General, how much
longer am I to stand here?

- Have you anything to say to me?
- Please, we have a visitor.

- I think you have met Professor Smith.
- No, good day.

- Goodbye.
- But you have met Herr Boldenschatz.


- Do you know Boldenschatz?
- No, should I?

Anyway, I didn't come
here to discuss Shakespeare.

If you want me, you know where I am.

The Earl of Oxford was a
very bright Elizabethan light...

but this book will tell you
he was a good deal more than that.

I owe you an apology Professor.
Can you spare me a few moments longer?

- With pleasure.
- Here's somebody who will recognize you.

Come in Miss Coles.

- The young lady who asks questions.
- But doesn't answer them.

Professor Smith.

That was a remarkable affair this afternoon.

- Oh, have I missed something?
- Five prisoners escaped from Grosberg.

Oh, splendid, splendid.
Oh, I beg your pardon, how annoying for you.

By a strange coincidence,
Miss Coles' father was among them.

- Well, congratulations Miss Coles.
- Just so.

A few days ago this young lady called here
and obtained some secret information.

- She then went straight to your excavations.
- And why not? We welcome visitors.

You must come one day.

Do you deny having received that information?

Really General Von Graum.

Because if the person who received it is not
punished, the person who gave it will be.

Well Miss Coles? Which is it to be?

What exactly you want to know?

Just the name of the person to
whom you gave that information.

I gave it to no one.

Then you will be court marshaled
tomorrow on a charge of espionage.

And you know that for that there
is only one penalty in German law.

- What's that?
- The state execution of Magdeburg.

Oh yes, of course. I'd forgotten, you've
gone back to the ax of the Middle Ages.

But we wear modern
dress, white gloves, white tie.

White waistcoat?

The dress of an English gentleman at a
dinner, a French gentleman at a wedding...

- and a German gentleman...
- Yes, Herr Professor?

At a murder.

That's good Herr
Professor, I must remember that.

Excuse me.

Hold on.

My dear child, to a man of peace
like myself all this seems incredible.

But in your own interest if you do know
anything, wouldn't it be wiser to speak?

Take her away.

May I say a word?

General Von Graum, you
appear to regard me with some suspicion.

First of all you confront
me with an individual who's supposed to...

identify me as something
or other but refuses to do so.

Next you threaten the life of this
young lady on the presumption...

that I shall make a gallant gesture
and declare myself as this fellow you want.

- But I'm not in a position to do that.
- I see. Go on.

Well, after such a
procession of disappointments...

you surely cannot intend to
commit the crowning folly of...

cutting off your chief source of information.

In the absence of any hint of subtlety,
it doesn't surprise me that this...

rescuer has been so successful.

Still, it's no concern of mine, I just
came here to talk about Shakespeare.

Perhaps you'd care to read
about the Earl of Oxford.

I do wish it were in my power to help you.

Well, goodbye.


- You should've been a detective.
- Me?

- Oh, thank you.
- Alright Miss Coles, you can go.

- Does that mean I'm free?
- For the moment, yes.

Perhaps the professor
would care to see you home.

Oh dear.

Afraid I'm a very poor escort.

Here, allow me.

- I hope you won't regret taking my advice.
- I shan't.

- Why did you let her go?
- It's not her I want, you fool, it's him.

That man, with his English superiority...

seems to be mocking at our
greater German world power.

And I've got to get him, got to.

Yes, Herr Reich Minister.

- How are you feeling?
- Alright.

No, don't ask me
any questions, we're not alone.

How about a glass of wine? You need it.

But if my father is safe,
why can't I go to him?

Because we want to keep him safe.

Is he in Berlin?

The fewer people who
know where he is, the better.

Here, drink your wine, it'll do you good.

Excuse me.

- Do you like music?
- No.


Enjoy yourself.

- Waiter?
- Sir?

Take some wine with my compliments
to that unhappy looking fellow over there.

Very good sir.


- Is that him?
- That's him.

I've given him wine and music...

and I'm afraid that's all I can do for him.

I think you're the bravest man I've ever met.

You mustn't exaggerate especially
after your own remarkable courage.

But if you've no fear for yourself,
what about those who depend on you?

Nobody does, I'm a bachelor.

- I wonder why.
- Well I'll tell you a secret.

Years ago I fell in love
and I've been in love ever since.

- Is she pretty?
- Not pretty, divinely beautiful.

- Is she English?
- No, she's Greek.

Would you like to see her photo?
I always carry one with me.

- But that's...
- Aphrodite Kallipygos.

The perfect woman, I found her at Lesbos.

Ours is an ideal relationship, you know.

They say no woman compares
with her physical perfection.

And as for her mental
equipment, well, I try to supply that.

Do you never wish she could come to life?

I've always thought that
would be most unsatisfactory.

In fact during the last few days I've,
suddenly she's become less real to me.

Just marble.

It's a pity.

Well, I think we better be going now.

And in opposite directions,
I'm afraid, you better go first, alone.

Now I want you to trust me implicitly.

It's going to be
hard, but whatever happens...

you mustn't get in touch
with us or try to see us.

This is going to be a battle of nerves.
We're going to be watched day and night.

- But you must trust me to the end.
- I will.

I will, whatever happens.

Don't worry, I promise you I
won't leave Germany without you.

Give my love to father,
and keep some for yourself.


A week, a whole week and what is happened?

Nothing to report, nothing to report.

The girl is been to a
hairdresser and he is kept digging.

Why? Why? Why? What's his game?

I can't stand this waiting any longer.

Say prof, we've dug up
half Germany, what do we do now?

Dig up the other half.

Thank you.

- All that's for the Berlin Museum.
- Thank you, I am most grateful.

Not at all, you've been most helpful Doctor.

I wish I could do
more, one has to be careful.

I know.

Thank you.

What you doing with that?

Just bringing a little
sunshine into their lives.

Well give them my love.

- What's the matter?
- The Gestapo.

- Where?
- Alright.

- This is where I go to work.
- Go on, hurry up.

- Oh David, I wanted to ask you...
- Gestapo.

- Professor Smith?
- Come along please.

You must excuse my coming
unannounced but you did invite me.

- I brought some of my boys.
- Delighted. Well, what a large family.

You don't mind their taking a look around?
They're so interested in your operation.

Not at all, make
yourselves at home gentlemen.

You know Dr. Fulroth of the Berlin Museum?

- Heil Hitler.
- Heil Hitler.

Dr. Fulroth is
making a catalog of the relics...

which your government is
permitting us to take back to England.

Professor Smith's discoveries
have been quite remarkable.

And he's been most generous
in his gifts to our museum.


Yes, you'd be surprised what we've
discovered about an Aryan civilization.

- What's in there?
- Relics, pottery, weapons.

- Here?
- Same thing.


A man.

A dead man, would you like to see him?

There we are.

Buried with all his weapons, you see.

Presumably in the belief that there might be
a rearmament program in the hereafter.

Eh, Mr.Spencer?

An ancient tutor.

Alas, poor Yorrick.

Get thee to my lady's
chamber my dear General.

Tell her though she paint an inch thick...

to this favor must she
come, make her laugh at that.

The Earl of Oxford
wrote that, you'll remember.

Herr Reich Minister.

- No.
- No?

- No.
- It's alright.

What, going already?

Then we better say goodbye, we
shall be leaving ourselves in the morning.

- It's ok boys, they've gone.
- Well never get out of here, never.

- They watch us day and night.
- Take it easy buddy.

The professor won't fail
us, we'll get away alright.

Yes, but how?

Packed in bran and marked fragile.

- Changing guard sir.
- All present and correct.

What do you taking so much care of?

Red herrings.

Red herrings.

- Well, what did he say?
- He's gone Fraulein.

- Gone?
- Yes.

He left for England on
the 10:30 train this morning.

They've all gone.

But he can't have.

But it's true, I spoke to the hall porter
who put their luggage on the taxi.

They've gone alright.

Thank you.

Miss Koslowski. Get out.

Sit down.

I require some information
think only you can give me.

- Where are we now?
- We're nearly at Felden Kirschen sir.

And what's the exact time?

- 2:47.
- Means we're four minutes late.

Good, not very long to wait.

- You all know what to do?
- Oh yes sir.

Two hours to the frontier.

And with ordinary luck gentlemen, our last
adventure will be successfully concluded.

In case there's no
opportunity to do so later...

I want to tell you now
that your conduct throughout...

In spite of occasional fits of
lunacy, is been most exemplary.

- I do hope the trip is proved instructive.
- It has sir.

I suppose we shall all be meeting
again pretty soon at Cambridge sir?

I wonder.

I have an idea that our country may
have more important work for us.

Anyway, I do thank you all.

- And you, Herbert?
- Bertie sir.

- Bertie and Jock and...
- Clarence.

Clarence, of course, yes. And David.

- How do you remember all those names sir?
- Excuse the familiarity Mr. Maxwell.

Oh by the way, I owe you an apology.

I did my best at Cambridge
to prevent your joining this expedition.

I admit now that would've been a mistake.

Allow me to return to you your bones.

- Take care of yourself prof.
- I will.

Now gentlemen, I'm just
going to take a little nap.

- Meanwhile, do your stuff.
- Sure.

- Good night.
- Goodnight sir.

Goodnight sir.

That's the signal.

Excuse me.

One of us is going to move
pal and it isn't going to be me.

This is it.

We'll never get through,
never. We don't stand a chance.

We'll all get through, we are in good hands.

- I'm a bit nervous myself Koslowski.
- Not Koslowski here please.

When we enter Poland, they won't be long now,

the restoration of order scheme B is to be
put into operation immediately, understand?

- In Holland, Denmark and...
- Herr Reich Minister?

- Don't bother me.
- A report from the train sir.

- The professor is asleep.
- Oh, the professor's asleep.

And the students are
guarding the packing cases.

Don't bother...

- Did you say packing cases?
- Yes sir.

- They had permits to take...
- Packing cases, precisely.

Train is coming in, get ready there.

Turn out those cases as soon as she stops.

- Where is he?
- Here he is.

- Are we here yet?
- That's not him.

- You idiot, what have you been doing?
- What are you guys looking for?

Professor Smith,
we've a warrant for his arrest.

Well, you be unlucky, he's not here.

Excuse me, but I saw a
very suspicious character just now.

- Where was he?
- In there. But it's not a he, it's a she.

You old fool.
Telephone headquarters right away.

David, those sons are
breaking open our crates.


Yes madam, give me your
passport please, thank you.

Cooks party, Cooks party, passports
please, all your passports, Cooks party.

- I want your passports please.
- I just come...

- Cooks party yes, your passport madam.
- Well I...

Passport, anymore passports?

Say, what is it? We've a government
permit to clear these cases unopened.

- Keep your mouth shut.
- Excuse me, excuse me.

- Please, I wish to make a complaint.
- Pass along please.

- I've been grossly insulted.
- I'm sorry. Pass along please.

And manhandled.

Madam please,
don't you see the officer's busy?

It's disgraceful, I'm a married woman.

And in 30 years of married life
I have never been manhandled.

What can I do about it?
Alright, take your away.

Come along Cooks party, this way please.

It's an outrage,
I shall report it to your boss.

This way sir. This madam,
Cooks Party, This way mi lord.

- Thank you.
- Come along, come along please.

- Bits of stone.
- What do you expect? Ostrich feathers?

- Aren't you gentlemen with the Cooks party?
- Sure.

- Sure we are.
- Well come along gentlemen, come along.

The rest of the party is
already across the frontier.


But I didn't expect.

- I told you I'd come back for you.
- But, but I thought...

- That I'd forgotten my promise?
- No.


Graum is been here for hours, I don't know.

They never left me alone,
they said you'd gone away.

They said my father is been arrested again.

They never stopped asking
questions, they never stopped talking.

Your father is safely across the frontier.

- Is he?
- Quite safe.

What I've done?
You never forgive me for what I've done?

I'll never forgive you if
you don't put on your coat.

Haven't much time you know.

Yes but in the end you
see I did tell them things.

They tricked me into them.

I didn't know what to do.

It seemed the only way to save
my father, they said they'd shoot him.

So of course you told them.

You're so human.

They haven't wasted much time.

Why did you come back?

Tell me, is there any other way out
of this house except the front door?

Yes, the back door and the fire escape.

- Why did you come back?
- Because I said I would.

Come here.

Here, put this on.


Open up there, come on, hurry up.

Out of way,

Locked. Open up, open up.

- They've gone.
- The fire escape.

Come with me, you go down and
bring the car around to the back.

Wireless the headquarters,
they can't have got far. Come on.

Well, I'm almost ashamed
to have used that old trick.

- But it nearly always works.
- What do we do now?

Now, in the immortal
words of Mr. Maxwell we, we scram.

Twas brillig and the slithy toves
did gyre and gimble in the wabe.

- Any news?
- Not yet sir.

I will not be beaten by that archaeologist,
it's a matter of personal honor.

I can assure you Herr Reich Minister,
that every train is being checked...

and every frontier
watched, he can't get away.

In a few moments I shall be able to
give you some definite information.

Well, see to it, I'll get
him myself, understand? Myself.

When do we get there?

About 25 minutes.

- And then?
- Then, England.


I've never been to England.

Well there are varying opinions about it.

There was an Englishman named Rupert Brook...

who was also in Germany when he said...

God I will pack and take a train,
and get me to England once again...

for England is the one land I know
where men with splendid hearts may go.

And women with splendid hearts too.

- Good morning Professor Smith.
- Good morning.

- Will you come with me?
- What for?

- I have orders to detain you.
- I'm coming too.

No madam, your train is waiting.

- Take this lady through the barrier.
- I won't go without you.

I shall be alright, go
straight to Montalier, Hotel Excelsior.

Your father is waiting for you.

- But you, can you manage?
- I shall do my best.

Hurry now, your train is waiting.

- Au revoir.
- Au revoir.

This way please.

In here please Professor.

- Well, professor of archeology.
- Well Captain of murderers?

You won't mind spending a few minutes
with me until our special train arrives?

- I take it I have no choice.
- Very little.

- This must be a big moment for you.
- A minor satisfaction.

I wanted to get you out of my system before
I turn my mind to more important matters.

You've become a great nuisance
to me Professor, almost an obsession.

- But everything comes to an end.
- What particular end did you plan for me?

Need we go into
details? At least it'll be quick.

But violent, I suppose.

A strange end for one who despises violence.
At the hands of those who worship it.

- The new German god.
- Of course we worship it.

Violence means power and
power crushes opposition.

The epoch of the council
chamber is over Herr Professor.

I tell you that power and strength
and violence will rule the world.

Why are you sweating
my dear General? Isn't very warm.

- Are you afraid of something?
- Afraid? We Germans fear nothing.

- Because you have a pistol.
- Yes.

I have a pistol, it has eight bullets.

- Eight lives.
- And I have 28 lives.

Scientists men of letters, artists Doctors.

28 saved from your pig and pistol.

And all you got is my humble self.

Not a very profitable transaction.

We can afford to make a
loss, our profits will be tremendous.

Tonight we march against Poland and
tomorrow will see the dawn of a new order.

We shall make a German empire of the world.

Why do I talk to you? You are a dead man.

May a dead man say a few words
to you General for your enlightenment?

You will never rule the world.

Because you are doomed.

All of you who have demoralized
and corrupted a nation are doomed.

Tonight you will take
the first step along a dark road...

from which there is no turning back.

You will have to go on and on,
from one madness to another...

leaving behind you a
wilderness of misery and hatred.

And still you will have to go on...

because you will find no
horizon and see no dawn...

until at last you are lost and destroyed.

You are doomed
Captain of murderers and one day...

sooner or later, you will remember my words.

Stop, come back.

You were never nearer
death than at that moment.

How could one die better than
waving goodbye to a friend?

Alright, take charge of him, take him
under that lamp where I can see him.

Herr Reich Minister be careful, he's only to
step past the barrier, across the frontier.

That's exactly what I want him to do.

- Shot while trying to escape.
- And by me.

By me.

Alright, get out.

I will protect you myself Professor.

Would you care for an
English cigarette General?

- It might steady your nerves.
- My nerves are perfectly steady.

They don't appear to be.

Just an old fashioned match.

There's rather a valuable
relic at your feet General.

May I pick it up to
preserve it for the future?


I will.

How careless of them to have overlooked it.

It's charming, isn't it?

It proves, among other things,
the complete nonexistence...

of an
early Aryan civilization in this country.

- Silence.
- Herr Reich Minister.

Get back, who called you?

- Come back.
- Don't worry, I shall be back.

We shall all be back.