Phua Chu Kang: The Movie (2010) - full transcript
Naughty boy!
Naughty boy!
Phua Chu Kang, stop right there!
My goodness!
Mum.
Why are all of you
bullying my Kang Kang?
This naughty kid kicked my chickens.
Your son dirtied my clothes.
Your son hit my son.
I'm sorry. Kang Kang.
Her son bullied Ah Beng.
I was protecting him.
I'm so sorry,
but your son bullied my son.
Shouldn't you have taken him in hand?
If you can't discipline him,
I'll do it for you.
You should rein in your son
instead of making ice kacang all day.
Look, all of you are adults,
yet you're bullying a kid.
Aren't you ashamed of yourselves?
You think you can take him in hand?
Go ahead.
Since you think you're good at
disciplining him, be my guest.
- You're so unreasonable.
- Don't do that again.
Aren't you leaving yet? Scram.
- Let's go.
- Let's go back for our meal.
Don't do that again.
Let's go.
Phua Chu Kang,
you're always causing trouble.
- I was protecting Ah Beng.
- You were protecting Ah Beng?
Still, why must you
go around kicking chickens
and tearing up clothes?
I was scared.
So many people were chasing me.
Do you promise to be a good boy?
I promise.
You won't do this again?
No.
Okay.
That was all the punishment you got?
What the hell. Come here.
Dad.
You're such a jinxed kid. Jinxed kid.
- That's enough, Dad.
- Enough? My foot.
- No, Grandpa.
- He's still a kid.
Go to hell, jinxed kid.
Dad.
Chu Kang, does it hurt?
Why don't I beat you
and you'll see if it hurts?
- She isn't here yet.
- What time is it now?
Time.
What time is she coming?
She said it'd be roughly
around this time.
Around what time is that?
Around this time.
This must be the bus.
That was what you said
for the last three buses.
- No, I'm sure this is the bus.
- How do you know that?
This is a purple bus.
The last three buses
were also purple in colour.
This is a different purple colour.
This must be the one.
I can feel it.
- Feel it?
- I'm sure.
- It's very hot, you know.
- I know.
She's here. Mum is here.
Mu...
Mu... I mean, Madam.
It's another woman.
- Mum.
- Mum.
I wasn't calling you.
- Mum.
- Mum.
Kang Kang.
Mum, you're here.
Why are you so skinny?
Didn't you have proper meals?
It must be the Malaysian food.
I did have proper meals.
Mum, why didn't you compliment me
for being thin as well?
Rosie. Thank you.
There are more bags at the back.
Mum, how is Beng Beng?
Is he still a crybaby?
So how are the children,
Romeo and Crystal? How are they?
Margaret is so mean.
She must be a big girl by now.
Get in. Is this okay?
Are you comfortable?
I'm so happy that you came early.
Hurry.
Chu!
Good grief.
Why are you so slow? Hurry up.
- Do you know these are very heavy?
- Hurry.
Mum is already here. Hurry.
Put that at the back.
You can put this on top of the...
And that can be placed...
Okay. Come on, let's go for a meal.
Mum, I'm going to take you
to a high-class restaurant
at Grand Dorsett Subang Hotel.
Don't mess with me.
Sheesh, it's okay.
I'm not very particular.
You're not very particular?
Mum, this is the first time
you're visiting us in Kuala Lumpur.
We must treat you like a queen.
Hey, if she's the queen,
then who am I?
The king.
The princess.
Princess?
I like that.
Actually, Kang Kang,
I've got something to tell you.
It's about your...
- Wait, my phone is ringing.
- Mum, you've got a disco ringtone.
Hello? What happened?
Chu, is this nice?
Yes, your jewellery at home
is already very nice.
Actually, I don't mind
having this as a present.
But your birthday is already over.
There's another special day coming.
Is there? Is it Christmas? Hari Raya?
I knew it, you forgot again.
It's our anniversary.
Sheesh, I was joking.
Of course I remember our anniversary.
Am I right, Mum?
Mum? Mum isn't here. Mum.
Weren't you talking to her?
Yeah, but when I turned around,
she disappeared.
Mum. Where are you?
Mum.
Why is she doing this? I'll call her.
Hello. Have you seen my mother?
Hello, ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls.
This is an announcement.
Please listen to me. Don't move.
We've found a young handsome boy.
He has curly hair
and a big black mole.
He's wearing a white shirt,
black pants and yellow boots.
Can the mother of
this young handsome boy
please come and claim him
at the counter now?
Right now.
Anytime now.
Mum, can you hear me? Where are you?
Okay.
Borrow 1,000 ringgit
without any interest
You're good.
You're good.
What did you say, fool?
I'm not afraid of you.
- Stop right there!
- Run.
You're an old man. Never mind.
Help me. Thank you.
Who's this? Hello?
Yeah. I'm the one
who put up the poster, the...
You found her? Thank you.
Okay, I'll come over now.
Cup noodles? They're available
in Malaysia too.
Pineapples? No wonder
the bag is so heavy.
It's so big.
And it's even lacy.
What's this?
A Malaysian telephone number?
Hello, good morning.
What's this place?
Sorry. Where's my mother?
- She's upstairs.
- She's upstairs?
Let's go.
Did you make a mistake?
- Just come up with me.
- Fine.
You're so talkative.
- There are people living here?
- Of course.
Mind your steps.
- Why are there so many steps?
- Hurry up. Are you malnourished?
I'm coming. It's so far away?
Is this the city tunnel?
We're almost there.
These still stink after washing.
Hurry up, she's inside.
Really?
Come in.
Don't mess with me.
Pay up.
Why is she covered with a blanket?
She feels cold.
Cold? It's so hot inside here.
Oh, yeah. She told me to tell you
not to remove the blanket
when you take her home.
She must be covered at all times.
Really?
Mum. It's time to wake up. Come on.
This isn't my mother. Good grief!
She's definitely your mother.
They look exactly the same. Pay up.
What nonsense is that?
These two women are the same,
but these two women aren't.
Why should I pay you?
Stop.
Okay. I don't want your money.
But can you take her away?
She's not even my mother.
Why should I take her away?
If you leave her here,
what am I going to do with her?
She's not my mother,
so it's not my problem.
You're crazy.
- Shut up.
- Come back.
You're full of crap.
Flora.
What do you want?
I want to go to the toilet.
You've been doing that for decades.
Can't you go on your own, Mum?
She doesn't even look like my mother.
What a waste of my time.
Well? Have you found your mother?
She wasn't my mother.
- Good.
- Why did you say it was good?
- That's because I think I found her.
- Where?
When I was going through Mum's bag
accidentally a while ago...
You found Mum in her bag?
Touch wood. No.
I found this piece of paper.
There's a telephone number.
- Phone number?
- Yeah, so I called the place.
Guess what place it is.
What place?
Respect the elderly and the virtuous
This place isn't too bad.
The entrance is so big
and adorned with red lanterns.
May you be prosperous.
Stop being goofy.
It means respect the elderly
and the virtuous.
It's a reminder that you should
respect your elders.
Why would Mum come here?
This is the office of
our CEO, Mr Lim.
Mr Lim must be very tall.
Mimi, Jasper.
Mr Lim will see you shortly.
Please take a seat first.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Sorry, but have we met before?
You look very familiar.
It's said I look partly like Jay Chou
and partly like Chow Yun Fat.
Yeah. Have you heard of
Chow Si Fat (stinky backside)?
Hello, everybody.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
I'm Lim Lao Pek,
the CEO of Seow Soon Home.
Hello, I'm Phua Chu Kang,
the CEO of PCK Pte Ltd
best in Singapore and Johor Bahru.
And some say Batam.
And I'm Rosie, the CFO, COO
and COE of PCK Pte Ltd.
Are you married?
Yes, to me.
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
- Take a seat.
- Take a seat.
Take a seat.
- Take a seat.
- Take a seat.
Are you guys here for the tender?
- What tender?
- Aren't you a contractor?
- Yes, I am.
- Yes, he is.
We're hoping to renovate
Seow Soon Home
so we're inviting contractors
to submit their tenders.
Don't you know?
- I didn't know...
- We do.
- We do.
- We do.
Angel, give them
the tender form later.
Yes, Mr Lim.
Actually, I came here for my mother.
Your mother.
She has to be placed
on the waiting list.
What waiting list?
Our place is full.
She'll have to wait for six months
before she can move in.
Move in? No.
I don't want her to move in.
You don't understand.
I'm looking for my mother.
Have you seen her before?
No.
Why did you react that way then?
Every old person looks the same.
But I've seen her.
You have? Where is she?
There she is.
Mum.
- Mum.
- Mum.
Kang Kang, what are you doing here?
I was looking for you.
How did you know where I was?
It was very hard to find you, okay?
Mum, why did you run away like that?
You know, I thought something
had happened to you.
You're not supposed to be here.
You're not supposed to be here.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you
where I went
but you have to leave now. Please.
It's okay, Mum. Come on,
we'll take you home.
- Come on, let's go.
- You go home. I'm staying here.
Staying here?
Why are you staying here?
I...
Why won't you come home with us?
Sorry, excuse me. Can I...
- Geez.
- What's wrong with you?
Mum.
Sheesh.
Why is Mum behaving this way?
She's supposed to be here
to visit us and enjoy her holiday.
Now, she doesn't even
want to stay with us.
Heck. Maybe Mum is getting
old and senile.
This is the correct place
for her then.
No, it's not that.
Sheesh. I forgot to take
the tender form from that Angel girl.
- I'll go now.
- That's it.
If we bid for the job here
and get the job here
we can spy on Mum and
see what she's really doing here.
Good idea, Rosie.
You thought of the idea so quickly.
Good.
What idea was he referring to?
What's he doing here?
He came to look for me.
What bad luck.
Why are you always behaving this way?
He's a good boy. He's your grandson.
Yes, he's the grandson
who brings bad luck.
You're so silly.
Hey, Zaihan.
I heard the lad with the big mole
will bid for the renovation job here.
He'll bid for the renovation job?
Good grief.
Look, if he wins the tender,
he'll be here every day.
Listen, I don't want to see
this jinxed kid.
- He isn't a jinxed kid.
- I don't want to see him.
Okay. I'll make sure
he doesn't get the job.
Really? How?
I'll have to call someone.
Hello, who are you looking for?
Please wait a moment.
Boss, there's a call for you.
Thank you so much, Tinkerbell.
Hello. Mum?
Hello, Madam. Stop it.
No, she's just my friend.
Actually, she's a client.
We're building a jacuzzi.
Yeah, Batam is very beautiful.
What can I do for you, Madam?
No, my friend... I mean
my client is disturbing me. Sorry.
What tender is it?
Remember, when I'm meeting Mr Lim,
you'll see what Mum is doing. Okay?
Spy on her.
- Why must I do it?
- It's because you're my wife.
Mr Phua, Mrs Phua,
nice to see you again.
Nice to see you too.
So did we get the job?
Mr Lim will let you know.
And Mr Foo is already here.
Please come with me.
Who is Mr Foo?
- Come in.
- Thank you.
Frankie Foo. Bloody fool.
Phua Chu Kang. Stinky drain.
They were friends?
Yeah, and then they became enemies.
Why?
Why? That's because both of them
fell in love with me.
Really?
What do you mean?
You don't believe that?
Yes. No. That's not what I meant.
I'll go look for Mr Lim.
What are you doing here?
I'm also bidding for the job.
- So I must say sorry to you.
- Why?
Chu Kang, you came
all the way up here for nothing
because I'm going to get the job.
Says who? I'll get the job,
so I should say sorry.
- I said sorry first.
- I'm sorrier.
I'm even sorrier than that.
- I'm sorriest.
- I'm sorriest.
Look, both of them are still fighting
over me after so many years.
My grandfather's grandfather
is sorry.
My ancestors are sorry.
- I'm sorry with a capital S.
- I'm sorry with a capital O.
- Capital R.
- Capital R.
- Capital Y.
- Why did you say Y?
- I didn't say Y.
- You said Y.
- I said sorry.
- I said sorry first.
- I said sorry.
- I said sorry.
Sorry. I'm late.
I heard voices,
but why don't I see anyone?
- Mr Lim.
- Mr Lim.
Who hit the two of you?
Stop fighting. Please go in.
Please have a seat.
- Okay. I want to sit here.
- I'll sit here.
- I came first. I want to sit...
- My seat.
I want to sit down here first.
I want to sit down on my seat.
I must sit here.
Mr Lim.
Mr Lim, I forgot to add something
to the tender form the other day.
- What's that?
- Do you like colours?
- What colours do you mean?
- Whatever colours you want.
I've got thousands of colours which
you can use for your old folks' home.
Mr Lim, I'm an expert in colours.
If you hire me for the job
I'll take you to a whole
new world of colours.
Mr Lim, don't listen to him.
He's colour-blind.
Look, his green shirt is so outdated.
- Mr Lim, I got the job, right?
- No, I got the job, right?
- Oh, please, I got the job.
- Oh, please, I got the job.
- I got the job.
- I got the job.
Coffee, tea or me?
I don't mind teh C (tea with milk).
What teh C? We're trying
to see who gets the...
Yeah, good idea, Rosie.
Why don't you get the teh C
since you like it so much?
Teh C? Much?
Teh C? Much?
To see Mum.
I should look for Mum.
But why must it be me?
Both of you got the job.
- What are you talking about?
- Each of you will take half the job.
With a shared project,
your relationship will be stronger.
We're sharing the project?
Yes, and you guys
have to do it for free.
- For free?
- For free?
- Are you serious?
- Are you serious?
Mum, where are you? Sheesh.
To see Mum. So I should look for Mum.
I don't see her.
Mrs Phua.
Lass, you scared me.
Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.
- This is for you.
- What's this?
Teh C. Mr Lim said
you needed a drink, right?
Which Mr Lim are you referring to?
My boss.
Mr Lim asked you
to order this for me?
Tell him I said thank you.
Mr Lim, what are you looking at?
- This is just the map of Malaysia.
- Yeah.
- Be quiet.
- Be quiet.
Now, Seow Soon Home
is over here, right?
Yes.
This is my plan. In two years' time
there'll be branches
in all these places
and Singapore as well.
Singapore?
This is why I want contractors
from Singapore
to build more homes for me.
I want Seow Soon Home to become
an established brand name
in both Malaysia and Singapore
like McDonald's and Burger King.
- Ramly Burger.
- I'm hungry.
- For burgers?
- No, KFC.
Do you know what it means
as the old folks are living longer?
It means that I can live until
I'm more than a hundred years old.
You're wrong.
This is my point.
With more and more elderly people,
where are they going to stay?
I know.
They'll live with their children.
You're wrong.
The elderly should live in
Seow Soon Home.
More Seow Soon Homes will be needed
for the growing elderly population.
Do you know how many of my homes
will be in demand
throughout Malaysia and Singapore?
That's a big project.
It's worth at least
ten million dollars.
- Ten million dollars?
- Ten million dollars?
So in the end,
that was what happened.
- Wait. I don't understand.
- Why?
- Both you and Frankie got the job?
- Yes.
- And you're doing it for free?
- Is this teh C?
Teh C? This is what happens when
you go out to negotiate on your own.
Don't chase me away in future, okay?
Rosie, you don't understand.
If we do this free job
better than Frankie Foo does,
we'll get the bigger project.
And the bigger project
is worth ten million dollars.
Ten million dollars.
Rosie, I'm talking about
ten million dollars.
- Wait.
- What?
I'm counting the zeros.
We've never done such a big project.
Do you know there are many zeros
in ten million?
Oh, please, ten million dollars is...
Five plus...
It's a very big project.
It'll be like McDonald's,
Burger King and Ramly Burger.
Oh my, you're making me hungry.
- For burgers?
- No, fried kway teow (rice noodles).
- What?
- Yeah.
So did you find out and see
what Mum is doing?
Here's the teh C. Goodbye.
Seow Soon Home
Are you ready to rumble?
Are you ready to be humbled?
I'm not. What about you?
What about me? Ready to rumble
or ready to be humbled?
- What? What are you talking about?
- What? What do you want?
Why don't you understand?
I'm speaking English.
What English? I don't even know
what you're talking about.
If you don't learn English,
how will you understand anything?
- Listen up. I'm watching you.
- I'm watching you instead.
You'd better not screw this up.
- I'll hammer you.
- Hammer me?
If we're not starting work yet,
can I go for a soya beancurd break?
Yes, Boss, can I go for
a lontong break?
- I'll break your head first!
- I'll break your head first!
- I'll start work first.
- I'll start work first.
- You'd better do your work properly.
- Is that a command?
On your mark, get set, go.
You cheated. Go. Faster.
Don't mess with me. I'll take you
to a whole new world of colours.
Seow Soon Home
This is my Seow Soon Home.
I don't see anything special.
I know. Look.
If I do this, this will be
your new Seow Soon Home.
You can choose any colour you want.
You can change the colour too.
The good thing is that
you can see what it's like
before we actually paint it.
I prefer red.
Red. Okay, here we go.
- Yuck.
- Yuck.
- It looks like a temple.
- Yuck.
- Yes, it looks bloody. This is out.
- I don't want this.
- What about gold colour?
- Gold colour. Here you go.
- Not bad. I like it.
- Not bad. It's beautiful, right?
- Okay, so let's go with this colour.
- No.
- It's so passe.
- Yes, it's very passe.
Sheesh. Why did it turn out this way?
So what colour do you want?
You want it to be transparent?
- Transparent?
- There's a transparent colour?
There're so many colours?
Of course.
Boss, what's this strange colour
that Mr Lim wants?
I've never seen it before.
Whatever colour it is,
it'll be available here.
But I don't see it anywhere.
Sheesh. Use your brain.
Use the computer.
- Computer?
- Here.
Key in the colour that you want.
Voila. There you go.
Can I also play computer games?
Okay, press the button.
And keep your eyes peeled.
I think you can lose weight this way.
Boss, that was so enjoyable.
But my underwear is slipping off.
- Excuse me.
- Yes?
Should I move the residents away
while you're painting here?
- Why?
- It's because of the smell.
I smell?
No, not you. I meant the paint.
Do you smell any paint?
Actually, I can't.
But I'm worried about the residents.
Don't worry.
This paint doesn't have any smell.
It's good for the old folks.
So it's odourless.
I have nothing to worry about then.
Odourless. Wait.
Yes?
I... You... I...
- Nothing.
- Okay.
- Make sure the power is off.
- Yes, it's off.
Boss, do you know the girl
called Angel who works here?
The assistant manager? Why?
Yeah. Do you think
I have a chance with her?
You and Angel?
Yeah, I think she's really pretty.
She's so sweet and beautiful.
- What?
- I got an electric shock!
Didn't you say the power was off?
Sorry, Boss, sorry.
Okay, now, it's off.
Now, it's off?
It wasn't off just now?
Sorry, Boss. Now, it's really off.
Are you sure it's off?
- I'm sure.
- Really?
- Yes.
- Don't lie to me.
Okay.
So anyway, Boss,
I really want to ask Angel out
for a soya beancurd break with me.
I think she and I will really make
a very good couple.
Boss?
Fix the light yourself next time.
Frankie Foo, bloody fool, it was you.
Yeah. It was shocking, right?
I'll take revenge.
It wasn't my fault.
- Hey, King Kong.
- Hey, hello.
How are you?
I'm fine.
What are you doing now?
I'm painting.
Yes, you're painting.
What kind of paint are you using now?
This paint can reflect heat.
It'll keep your house cool.
It's very good.
Okay.
I'll let you get back to work.
Wait.
Yes?
Afterwards, do you want to go for
a soya beancurd break with me?
Sure.
You're serious?
You mean you're not serious?
No. I'm serious. Goodbye.
Yes!
Sheesh. It's you again.
You just never give up.
Excuse me.
Please don't block the way.
He's sleeping so soundly.
I'll push you along.
Oh dear.
Sir, are you okay? I'm sorry. Sir?
Sir, are you okay?
Mr Phua, what happened?
It was only an accident.
I don't know
what happened to him. He...
- There's no pulse.
- That's my finger.
- Sorry.
- There's no pulse.
- I'll call the ambulance.
- Ambulance?
- Kang Kang, you killed him.
- No, I didn't.
Did I?
Angel, I really didn't kill Zaihan.
It was an accident.
I'm not the type of person
to commit murder.
Okay, but the police are still inside
talking to Mr Lim.
We'll see what they say.
But why are they
taking so long inside?
Chu Kang, come here, listen to me.
Run away.
- Where am I supposed to run to?
- Run away from the police.
Chu Kang, you listen to me.
I'm your best and oldest friend.
I won't betray you.
We were together in
Sang Nila Utama Primary School, man.
- Sang Nila Utama
- Sang Nila Utama
Yes. I'll give you five minutes,
no, seven and a half minutes.
And then I'll tell them.
Go to hell.
What's this about telling them?
How could you joke about this?
- Thank you, Officer.
- Sorry.
- Thank you.
- Sir, this way.
Aren't you going to
take him away with you?
- Shut up.
- He's the murderer.
- Why are you sabotaging me?
- You're a murderer.
Murderer, my foot.
- Good grief.
- Murderer.
- Shut up.
- You're a murderer.
Mr Lim, so how did it go?
What happened?
Consider yourself lucky.
The doctor said he was already dead
before you pushed him.
Really?
So I didn't kill him.
But I'm not happy.
Why?
Why?
He passed away right after
you came to our home.
You bring bad luck.
Mr Lim, that's why you must fire him.
And you won't have bad luck again.
Yeah, that makes sense. Cheers.
Okay, this one.
This one looks good.
The boss has confirmed the colour.
The colour.
This colour is good.
Chu, are you ready?
Yeah, I'm ready.
Do you notice anything different?
Yeah, there's a lot of difference.
Phua Chu Kang, look properly.
- What?
- Any difference?
White hair. I saw it.
Sheesh. I wasn't referring to that.
It's my new dress.
I bought it specially for
our wedding anniversary tonight.
We're going for dinner.
Anniversary dinner tonight?
Sheesh. I can't make it.
I promised Mr Lim that I'll install
all the toilet bowls by tonight.
Can we postpone the dinner?
How can we postpone
our wedding anniversary?
Where's King Kong?
You want to have our wedding
anniversary dinner with King Kong?
No, I want to ask him to do your job.
He went for soya beancurd break
and he isn't back yet.
That's why I don't even
have time for dinner.
Chu, it's only one night, you know?
Mr Lim has given me a second chance.
I have to work harder now.
I can't mess up again.
So you can mess up
our wedding anniversary?
We can enjoy our wedding anniversary
every year.
But this is
a ten-million-dollar project.
What's more important?
Okay, listen,
if you're not happy about it
next year, we'll have a nice
and wonderful celebration, okay?
Next year. Don't assume
I'll still be here next year.
You can celebrate
your own anniversary.
Rosie, don't say that.
What do you mean...
It's our anniversary, right?
Hello, Mr Lim. Hello.
Yeah. I'm getting ready.
Yeah, I can finish it tonight.
Thank you for the second chance.
Thank you. Ten million, yes.
Hello, darling.
Don't rush me. I'm on my way, okay?
Okay, goodbye.
You've made a reservation?
I'm on my way. Goodbye.
- Mrs Phua.
- Mr Lim.
Where are you going?
You're dressed to the nines.
Are you going for a date?
Chu Kang and I were supposed
to have dinner together.
It's our wedding anniversary today.
But...
He stood you up? That's not nice.
It's all because of you.
He can't finish all the tasks
you gave him.
It's all because of me?
I'm really sorry about that.
Why don't I fire him so that he can
have dinner with you every day?
No. Actually, I have to thank you
for giving him one more chance.
Mr Lim, can you also give him
the ten-million-dollar project?
Well, that's a little difficult.
I'm a little hungry.
Why don't we talk about this
over dinner?
Would you like to join me?
It's my treat.
Or let's make it your treat.
No, it's your treat.
King Kong? Good grief.
Mum, you scared me.
Kang Kang, he's missing.
No, he's not. King Kong just went for
soya beancurd break.
Soya beancurd break? No,
I wasn't referring to King Kong.
I was referring to your grandpa.
My... My what?
Hello, Mr Lim. This way, please.
Thank you.
Here.
- Be careful. Come on.
- This place is huge.
- Have a seat.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
This is a classy restaurant.
Having a meal here must be expensive.
Do you often come here for meals?
You don't like it?
We can go to a coffee shop instead.
No. I just feel bad about it
since the food here must be expensive
and I guess you don't earn a lot
from running an old folks' home.
Don't say that, Rosie.
I plan to do a live charity show.
I know that kind of show.
Viewers can call in to make donations
of five dollars, ten dollars
or a hundred dollars.
Call 1900-112. I called before.
That's actually very profitable.
You can earn millions of dollars
in one show.
Yes. That's why I could expand
Seow Soon Home.
So you can give Chu that
ten-million-dollar project, right?
It's still a little difficult.
I'm feeling parched.
Would you like a drink?
Teh C?
Do you have XO?
- I can't find him anywhere.
- Wait.
You said Grandpa.
You meant my grandfather?
No, I meant your chickens.
Of course I meant your grandfather.
But I thought he's dead. Wait.
Which grandfather is this?
Is it my father's father
or your father?
It's your father's father.
You mean the one who was
always beating me?
There was a long time ago.
So that was the old man whom
Rosie thought was your boyfriend.
- How gross.
- How gross.
So that's why
you wanted to come here.
I wanted to tell you,
but he didn't want me to.
Why?
Sheesh. If you help me find him,
I'll tell you everything.
No. Tell me first,
and then I'll help you.
But...
Sheesh. Okay.
But it's a very long story.
It's okay.
Once upon a time,
in a village not so far from here
there lived a beautiful princess.
Why is there a princess in a village?
Do you want to hear my story?
Yes, I do. Sorry.
Beautiful princess.
Is that considered beautiful?
Keep watching.
The beautiful princess
met a handsome prince
who looked like your father,
who looked like you.
They fell in love.
That was so romantic.
And then the princess got pregnant.
That was so...
That was not so romantic.
The father of the prince
was very angry
that the princess was pregnant
and forced the prince and princess
to get married as soon as possible.
Then the baby was born.
He's so cute.
Everyone loved the baby,
except the father of the prince.
Jinxed kid.
Why do you say that?
That was because the baby was born
with a big mole on his face.
The father of the prince
believed that
the baby was born
with a big mole on his face
because the prince got the princess
pregnant before marriage.
A fortune-teller told
the father of the prince that
the mole would bring
bad luck to the whole family.
I was that baby.
The father-in-law was always
beating the boy until one day
the prince couldn't take it anymore
and sent his own father away
even though it hurt him very much.
That was so sad.
After that, the princess never saw
her father-in-law again.
She even told her children
that he was dead.
This mole really brings bad luck?
No wonder he always called me
the jinxed kid.
Don't say that.
Many years later
the father-in-law called the princess
and wanted to see her.
She wanted to tell the boy,
but his grandpa told her not to.
Grandpa.
By now, the boy has grown into
a big, strong, handsome man.
Kang Kang, are you okay?
So why did Grandpa call the princess?
He thinks that someone's killing
people in the old folks' home.
People living in
the old folks' home are old.
Old people die.
That's what old people do.
No one's killing them.
I'm old too. Does that mean
I'm supposed to die too?
Touch wood.
No, you're not going to die.
But if you do,
I won't blame anyone for killing you.
Predictions for career and marriage,
assessment of names
palmistry, physiognomy,
selection of auspicious dates
This is really...
Wake up, Master.
How can I help you?
Can you help me get rid of bad luck?
I want blessings and not misfortune.
Is that so? Really? Okay. Sure.
Okay. Thank you. Goodbye.
Was that Angel? What did she say?
He's on his way back.
Angel said the police found Grandpa
in a fortune-teller's shop.
Fortune-teller?
Yes, Grandpa wanted to
get rid of his bad luck
but he had no money to pay
and even refused to leave the shop.
So the fortune-teller had no choice
but to call the police.
I think I know what the bad luck is.
Yeah, it's me.
Mr Lim, you've got a big house.
Even your swimming pool
is bigger than my house.
And this chair...
Sheesh.
You dropped your earring?
- I'm thirsty.
- You're thirsty?
- I'm thirsty.
- You're thirsty?
- I'm thirsty.
- You're thirsty?
- I'm thirsty.
- You're thirsty?
- Hurry.
- Okay.
Let's take it slow.
We've got all night.
That's not necessary.
I like women like you.
Every man likes women like me.
But I chose Phua Chu Kang.
Phua Chu Kang.
Yet every year,
he forgets our wedding anniversary.
That man doesn't deserve you.
Sheesh. I don't have a choice.
This is my destiny.
Let me tell you.
Your destiny is in your hands.
If the opportunity arises,
you must seize it.
You'll get rich then.
Do you know how I became rich?
Heck. You just told me.
You seized the opportunities
that came your way.
Come closer.
I'll tell you a secret. Come on.
Out of every ten ringgit
donated to the old folks' home
do you know how much
I spend on the old folks?
- Nine ringgit.
- You're wrong.
- Okay, seven ringgit.
- You're wrong.
- Five ringgit?
- You're wrong.
Let me tell you. It's one ringgit.
What about the other nine ringgit?
The other nine ringgit?
They go into my own pockets.
How could you do that?
Why couldn't I?
How else could I afford
my bonus, salary, commission
and the maintenance of
this bungalow?
How do you maintain
the old folks' home then?
That's easy.
I simply do it by cutting corners.
So you're a cheat?
I'm not cheap. I'm very classy.
I didn't say cheap; I said cheat.
Listen, many children don't like
to live with their parents.
They send them to Seow Soon Home.
So we take care of them.
In fact, they should thank me.
Do you agree?
What are you doing?
Where are you going?
I'm going home. You're a cheat.
Why are you going home?
You're a cheat.
I'm a cheat?
Do you know why
I didn't fire your husband?
If I fire your husband
I won't get to see you again.
It'll break my heart.
Seow Soon Home
Have you had your meal?
Yeah. I'm very full now.
Isn't the weather nice today?
Yeah.
Where did you come from?
- Can you let me pass through?
- Sure.
So you...
You can speak first.
Rosie, actually, I want to apologise
for what happened last night.
I really should've gone with you
for the anniversary dinner.
Yeah. I'm very sorry too.
And I found out something.
What?
I found out that I have a grandpa.
I have a grandpa too.
No, I mean a grandpa
who is still alive.
- I thought he's dead?
- Me too.
But actually,
he's living in this old folks' home.
That's why Mum came here.
He must be very old then.
He's very, very old.
He's older than Mum.
He must be the old man
who talked to Mum the other day.
No wonder he looked so familiar.
He looked like you.
That's why I must get
this ten-million-dollar project.
I'll show Grandpa that
I don't bring bad luck.
Chu, I've got something
to tell you too.
What is it?
I don't want you to handle
Lim Lao Pek's project anymore.
Sheesh. Rosie,
I've already apologised.
- Why can't you give me a break?
- No.
- He's cheating people.
- What people?
People who have hands, legs,
a head, hair and ears.
They can be American, Chinese,
Eurasian or Japanese.
No. What's this
about cheating people?
You know,
out of every ten ringgit donated
he pockets nine ringgit.
- So?
- So? That's wrong.
The money is meant for
the old folks' home.
- It's not for him.
- How do you know that?
- He told me.
- When?
Last night.
Last night?
But last night was our anniversary.
Yeah, I only went for dinner
with him.
Dinner?
Chu, where are you going?
Sheesh.
- Wait, Chu.
- I'm not talking to you.
- Are you listening?
- Am I even talking to you?
- Sheesh.
- So you had dinner?
What did you use?
Fork and spoon, chopsticks or hands?
- Did you do it this way?
- You listen to me.
Mr Lim, open the gate.
I want to talk to you.
Mr Lim, don't pretend
you're not inside.
I know you're inside.
I can see the car there.
This way.
We aren't there yet?
This house is so big.
Maybe you should install a cable car.
Thank you.
Mr Lim, Mr Phua is here.
She's so nice.
Lim Lao Pek, what did you
do to my wife last night?
- I'm going to kill you.
- Chu, don't kill him.
- Why not?
- That's because you'll go to jail.
- I don't care.
- You won't like it there.
Why not?
That's because they'll feed you
curry every day.
There's no chicken rice
or fried kway teow.
How boring, right?
Mr Phua.
Chu.
I know you're very angry.
So you wouldn't mind if I kill you?
I would. Let go.
- XO.
- XO?
- Do you want some?
- No, thanks.
I forgot. You had a lot yesterday.
- She finished two bottles of XO.
- Two bottles?
You drank XO with him?
Ask him about the money.
What money?
Your salary, commission and bonus
all the money that you cheated
out of the old folks' home.
Don't slander me.
You don't have proof.
I don't need proof. I just have to
tell everybody that you're a cheat.
And nobody will donate money
to you again.
- Come on, let's have some XO.
- Let's have XO.
XO is so good.
You can't do this to me.
You're making me very stressed.
Chu.
- Good grief.
- Sheesh.
Okay. That's enough.
Thank you. But that doesn't mean
I won't kill you.
I understand. I know it's my fault.
I shouldn't have
let your wife seduce me.
She seduced you? You seduced him?
That's nonsense. He seduced me first.
You're confusing me by saying that.
We went for dinner.
After that, you came home with me
and we had two bottles of XO.
I'm a man.
What she wanted from me
is anybody's guess.
Wait.
Sorry, excuse me,
I hope you don't mind me saying this.
It was our anniversary last night,
but you went for dinner with him.
- You had XO with him.
- Two bottles of XO.
I know it was two bottles.
And you went home with him?
But I did all that for you.
- For me?
- Yeah.
I knew how badly you wanted
the ten-million-dollar project.
So I thought...
So you thought
you could seduce him for me?
Yeah. I mean no. I mean...
Sheesh. I can't remember.
I had too much XO, you know.
Too much XO? Didn't you
only have two bottles of XO?
No. Sheesh.
Okay. I'll make it up to you.
How will you make it up to me?
We'll become partners.
- Partners?
- Partners?
If you're my partner
the ten-million-dollar project
will naturally be yours.
Here, partner. We'll be the best.
The best?
Chu, don't tell me
you're thinking about it.
Don't you remember he's a cheat?
You have no proof.
- Cheers, partner.
- Partner.
What the hell.
You mean Kang Kang
joined forces with this cheat?
Yeah, Lim Lao Pek purposely
made him his partner
so that I wouldn't tell other people
that he's a cheat.
I don't believe my Kang Kang
would do this.
Like I told you,
he's a useless jinxed kid.
Don't always say that about him.
He's not jinxed, okay?
Who's she?
She's Rosie,
your granddaughter-in-law.
She looks like a prostitute.
I'm not a prostitute, okay?
She was a bar girl.
I was a singer.
- Bar girl.
- Singer.
- Bar girl.
- Can we talk about my Chu?
Sheesh.
We must find a way to prove to him
that Lim Lao Pek is a cheat.
Lim Lao Pek must've kept
some records somewhere.
I know. Chu told me he has
this laptop in his office.
We can go into his office
and take his laptop.
Listen, we'll go into his office
and take his laptop.
I just said that.
You didn't. Don't bluff me.
Okay. I'll go look for Frankie Foo.
Frankie Foo?
Who's this Frankie Foo?
He's your grandson's enemy.
I like this Frankie Foo.
Heck. Both of you
look for Frankie first.
I have an idea. I've to find someone.
- Okay.
- I'll go with him?
Rosie? Help me.
I want to go to the toilet.
Okay, here.
How much did you charge
when you were a prostitute?
I wasn't a prostitute.
Chu Kang. Come here.
Call me Uncle. What's that?
Uncle? That's correct.
Zul, do it properly.
You've got a lot of work
to do, you know.
You've got to change the fan.
You've got to change
all the air-conditioner units.
You'd better do that first.
Go. Get going.
Boss, I'm tired.
Can I go for lontong break?
Lontong break? In your dreams.
I'd rather throw you into the sea
so that the squid can have a break.
Go and do it now. Go.
What a useless chap.
What are you doing here?
I told you to get lost.
Wait. Someone wants to
say something to you.
Who? Mr Lim, it's you.
I have some bad news for you.
Mr Phua will be my partner
with effect from today.
- Have a good chat.
- Thank you.
Partner.
Partner? Are the two of you
doing the tango dance?
Tango your mango.
I'm your boss.
My boss?
And because I'm your boss,
I can say something
I've always wanted to say
a long, long, long time ago.
You are fired.
That felt great.
You fired Frankie Foo?
No one fires Frankie Foo.
Frankie Foo fires you.
Phua Chu Kang, stinky drain.
I'll fire you back. I'll fire you.
Frankie.
What are you doing?
I don't know.
Maybe I'll go for a massage.
Maybe I'll go fishing.
Maybe I'll kill myself.
I haven't decided
which one to do first.
What are you talking about?
Don't play dumb, Rosie.
Chu Kang fired me.
Chu fired you?
Must you state the obvious again?
Do you want revenge?
Who are you?
This is Chu's grandpa.
He's still alive? He must be
older than Chu Kang's mother.
Chu Kang's mother is very old.
He must be older.
So what do you want from me?
- Come with me.
- Wait.
- What do you want to say?
- Come here. Sheesh.
What the hell.
They didn't wait for me. Hey.
Okay.
How did you get here so fast?
- Grandpa?
- I took a shortcut.
So Frankie, we need your help.
Do you still have the key
to Lim Lao Pek's office?
Oh, yeah, they fired me,
but they forgot to take the key back.
Why do you want to
get into his office?
We need proof that Lim Lao Pek
is cheating the old folks' home.
I see. What happens
when you find the proof?
We can expose him then.
The jinxed kid
will lose the project then.
Oh, yes, Chu Kang
will lose the project.
So you'll help us?
Rosie, on one condition.
Sheesh. What condition is it?
- I want a kiss from you.
- What?
- You want to kiss her? Why?
- Why not?
So? Do I get my kiss?
Now?
Of course. Are you going to
wait for Chinese New Year?
Unless you don't want my help.
Heck. Excuse me.
- What's this?
- The kiss you wanted.
On the lips.
The kiss should be on the lips.
Frankie Foo, don't try to play dirty.
Right from the start, you didn't say
where the kiss should be.
Okay. I'll say it now.
Rosie, on the lips.
If you don't want my help, it's okay.
Wait, let me think.
I want to vomit.
I've already vomited.
Are you ready?
I'm ready.
I'm ready.
Grandpa, this is very dangerous.
We may get caught.
Dangerous? I don't care.
Nobody told me it can get dangerous.
I've changed my mind.
I don't want to do this anymore.
I've already kissed you.
You must do it.
Please, Rosie, it's so dangerous.
You must give me one more kiss.
Surely... not.
Please, Rosie, give me one more kiss.
What the hell.
Why does he always want to kiss her?
- Yes.
- No.
- Yes.
- No.
Please, one more kiss.
Please don't ask me
for that again. Sheesh.
- Grandpa, why are you here already?
- You were so fast again.
- Yeah.
- I took a shortcut.
I've been living here
for so many years.
That's why I know all the shortcuts.
- Key.
- Your kiss?
No, the key.
- I got it.
- You want to make me vomit again?
Sheesh. Are you sure it can work?
Okay, nobody's here. Let's go.
Rosie, why did you fart?
I was feeling nervous.
I can't see anything.
I can only see the fish.
Sheesh. It's dark in here.
Of course you can't see anything.
Turn on the light.
We can't.
If we turn on the light,
people will know that we're here.
But we have torchlights.
I don't.
Of course you don't.
You aren't supposed to be here.
Okay. Turn on the torchlights.
I still can't see anything.
I can only see the fish.
Grandpa.
You can see now, right?
No, I want to go to the toilet.
- Now?
- It's your fault.
You guys keep shushing me so much
that I'm feeling the urge to pee.
Okay, go.
- Hurry.
- I'll go.
- Do you know the way?
- I'll go.
- Can you manage?
- I'll go.
Be quick.
I can't see anything.
Sheesh. My urine is coming out soon.
I can't hold it in any longer.
Okay, hurry, this way.
Come on, let's go.
Rosie, you'll go search.
I'll guard the door.
No. What if you run away?
Sheesh, Rosie, please.
I'm Frankie Foo, not a bloody fool.
No matter what happens,
I'll stand by you.
- Stay here.
- Okay.
Be careful. Hurry.
Be careful.
Hurry. Can you find it?
Look carefully.
This place is very dark
and so is the computer.
How am I supposed to see anything?
Sheesh. Use your torchlight, Rosie.
I'm using it. Can't you see?
Okay, hurry.
- Can you see it?
- Wait.
- Okay, look in the drawer, yeah.
- Yeah.
Can you find it?
I found it. Yeah!
That was so easy. Yeah!
- I got it.
- That was so easy, right?
I thought it'd be difficult.
Mr Lim is so stupid to think he won't
get caught stealing from old folks.
How stupid of him to put this
in an unlocked drawer.
- High five, low five, backside five.
- High five, low five, backside five.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
- High five.
- High five.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
Mr Lim is very stupid?
Mr Lim.
You're stealing from me.
You're stealing my laptop
which is very easy for you.
No, Mr Lim, I just came back
to return your key.
And I'm returning your kiss. Goodbye.
Frankie Foo.
I told you to join me,
but you refused.
I would've given you
ten or twenty computers easily
not to mention just one.
This is your last chance.
I'll give you two computers
and one iPhone.
What do you think?
Look, the police have arrived.
You've lost your chance.
- Let go of me. Let go.
- You've lost your chance.
- Goodbye.
- Over here.
Wait. Don't come back. Sheesh.
You're going to jail.
Let go.
Look, my partner's here.
We have such great rapport.
Mr Phua.
Phua Chu Kang, you brought
the police here to arrest me?
Sheesh, Rosie.
This is even worse than
forgetting our wedding anniversary.
Who is Mr Lim Lao Pek?
- That's me.
- Can you come with us?
No, it's not me. Arrest her.
No, Sir, he's the bad guy.
Please arrest him. He's a cheat.
- She's a thief.
- Cheat.
- Thief.
- Cheat.
- Thief.
- Cheat.
- Thief.
- Cheat.
- Cheat.
- Thief.
Good grief.
- Cheat.
- Thief.
Mr Phua, please explain
to the police. Hurry.
She's correct. He's the bad man,
the bad guy, the cheat.
Mr Phua, don't forget
your contract with me.
Yeah, the contract for
the ten-million-dollar project.
But I didn't sign it.
Here's your contract.
Ten million. Fifty million.
A hundred million.
You betrayed me.
What the hell.
What took you so long to rescue me?
They grabbed me so tightly.
It was so painful.
I don't see anyone.
I thought you didn't
believe me at first.
At first, I didn't believe you.
- You really didn't believe me?
- I really didn't believe you.
You really, really didn't believe me?
I really, really didn't believe you.
You really didn't believe me?
Now, I believe you.
- So now, you believe me?
- Now, I believe you.
- You really believe me?
- I really believe you.
- You really, really believe me?
- I really, really believe you.
You really, really believe...
You want to know
why I believe you now?
Yeah.
Okay, look.
This angle isn't good. Try this side.
Look, when I first saw
Mr Lim Lao Pek's house
I started having questions.
How could he possibly be so rich
from running an old folks' home?
And when he asked me to sign
the ten-million-dollar contract
I became more suspicious.
- Here, sign this.
- Okay.
Wait.
I told you not to call me.
I'm not free.
Sheesh.
Go ahead and sign it.
I'll come back later. Goodbye.
Why would anyone leave
during the signing of a contract?
So I thought I should follow him.
I kept following him until
he reached a desolate area.
Suddenly, he parked his car.
I parked mine too.
But I switched off the lights
so that he couldn't see me.
I was clever, right?
He wasn't alone.
There was a gangster with tattoos.
They seemed to be talking about
some illegal business.
But I couldn't hear them.
So I went nearer to listen to them.
Boss, it's very expensive
this time round.
No, I want it cheap, fresh and big.
Where can we find that?
Boss.
What's wrong?
I can sense someone following us.
Really?
Your senses aren't accurate.
It's time for servicing.
That's impossible. My senses
have always been accurate.
They couldn't have gone wrong.
Boss, listen. Our business
has been doing very well recently.
Keep a low profile.
Don't tell anyone.
Yes, Boss.
The police are here!
Listen, you'd better be
on your guard.
Sorry, Boss.
Sorry, Boss.
Wake up and get cracking.
Are these two rookies up to the task?
They're okay.
The packaging is really nice now.
The expiry date is included too.
No one can see
when the real expiry date is.
Boss, don't worry.
I'll manage this very well.
Boss, will the old folks die
after they take these?
When people get old,
they'll die no matter what they eat.
What are you worried about?
Making money is our priority.
Yes. Boss, this is a brilliant idea.
Guys, don't cause any trouble for me.
Just do your work.
- Did you hear that? Do your work.
- Do your work.
- Chu, you're my hero.
- Of course.
- I'll tell you a secret.
- What secret?
- I want to marry you.
- You've already married me.
Oh, yes. I forgot.
Jinxed kid.
Don't always call him that.
He's very smart.
He only pretended
to be Mr Lim's partner.
Is that a fake mole too?
This is real.
This jinxed kid isn't that bad.
He isn't such a jinx after all.
Grandpa.
Good boy.
Grandpa.
I forgot. I saw Lim Lao Pek
and his three gangsters run away.
No, Lim Lao Pek is in the car.
No, he isn't.
He's really not in the car.
My grandpa said he saw him inside.
Rosie, protect Grandpa.
Grandpa, I'll protect you.
I'm Chu Kang's angel.
The police are here.
We have to flee separately. Okay?
It's too dangerous to stay together.
We'll be sitting ducks.
Okay? Go.
I've already told you guys
to flee separately.
It's very dangerous.
- How would we know?
- How would we know?
Sheesh, you're such fools.
Come on. We'll use the back door.
Police!
Run!
That's what he's been doing
to the people here. Chu told me.
Lim Lao Pek
really killed those people?
I was right about it.
Grandpa, he's there.
I know what you did
to Zaihan and the rest.
- Stop running.
- Don't come near me.
- Sheesh, you...
- Back off. Don't come near me.
Lim Lao Pek, don't mess with me.
You'd better give up.
Put the weapon down.
Put the weapon down.
Put the weapon down.
Mum, where did you come from?
I went to look for Angel
to see if she could help us.
She was having soya beancurd break
with King Kong.
I really couldn't
believe this at first.
I told her that if Boss said
Lim Lao Pek was a bad guy
then he must surely be a bad guy.
Am I right, Angel?
Yes, King Kong.
I think it's the power of love.
Back off. Stay away.
Dad.
- Let go of him.
- Stay away or I'll kill him.
Mr Lim, don't do anything stupid.
Mr Lim, what do you want?
Calm down. Tell them what you want.
I want you.
I'm a man too. I like you.
Is that wrong?
That's definitely wrong.
She's my wife.
- My heart.
- Grandpa?
- Dad?
- Are you okay?
- You...
- What's wrong, Grandpa? Grandpa!
Dad.
I didn't kill him. It wasn't me.
- You killed my grandpa?
- I didn't kill him.
- You killed my grandpa!
- I didn't kill him.
You killed my grandpa!
Arrest me, hurry. Arrest me.
You killed my grandpa!
I didn't kill him.
Grandpa.
Grandpa.
Grandpa.
Why?
I wish I could've spent
more time with him.
Kang Kang, at least you got to
know him again before he died.
What's that sound?
It sounds like...
He's snoring. He's not dead.
He's sleeping?
Dad.
- Dad, wake up.
- Grandpa, wake up.
He's alive.
Grandpa, you're alive.
Dad, are you okay?
I'm fine. I had a nice dream.
I dreamt about you, my grandchildren
my great-grandchildren and me.
All of us stayed together happily.
It's not too late.
Excuse me, does that mean
he's also staying with us?
He can hear you. He's not dead.
Sorry.
Grandpa, you scared me.
What the hell.
UNO.
So your grandpa was right about
someone killing off his friends.
Actually, I don't think
that's really why he called you.
Why did he call then?
Angel told me that he knows
he's very sick
and doesn't have much time left.
So that's why he called me at first.
Maybe we can ask him to come back
and stay with us.
Why don't you ask him?
He's sleeping again.
But he's not snoring.
Dad?
Grandpa.
Grandpa, don't mess with me.
Walk slowly.
Sheesh. I'm sorry. Sheesh.
Here. This way. Okay.
You can stop walking. Stop.
Okay, you can take it off now.
- Okay.
- Wait.
I don't mean your clothes.
That's for later.
Take this off. Keep your eyes peeled.
Surprise.
Sit down.
Rosie, don't mess with the chef.
There's sambal stingray with sambal
fried black pepper crabs and
chicken with only prawn paste.
Then these are prawns
with breakfast oats.
This is fried rice with salted fish.
This is assam fish head curry
with nothing else.
This is Buddha Jumps Over the Wall
and the Neighbour's Wall.
- It's the real stuff?
- Shark's fin soup with crab meat.
And then there's durian ice cream.
Lastly, there's classy red wine.
Don't drink it yet.
Let's do it the French way.
Rosie.
Happy anniversary. I didn't forget.
Thank you, Chu.
It's so difficult.
Okay, let's tuck in.
We can't.
That's because there's Part Two.
In Phua Chu Kang Part Two.
He's our new CEO, Mr Lim.
Lim Lao Pek? Weren't you in jail?
How did you...
You don't understand
American English?
It's okay. I'll speak Mandarin.
I'm Lim Lao Pek's elder brother,
Lim Lao Hiang.
Are you married?
If you treat her like the queen,
then who am I?
The king.
I mean, the princess.
Actually, Kang Kang.
Wait. A princess will like this.
Actually, I've got something to...
- Tell you.
- Tell you.
You didn't know?
You asked me that,
but you didn't tell me what it is.
What do you mean?
You see?
How scary.
She's scared.
Wrong delivery.
I found this piece of paper.
There's a telephone number.
- Phone number?
- That's why I called the place.
Guess what place it is.
Place?
Ramly Burger delivery?
No.
Meet-A-Boyfriend
delivery hotline?
Sheesh.
Holy-Hot-Old-Man-
For-Holy-Hot-Woman hotline?
No.
Need-A-Friend hotline?
Sheesh.
Need-A-Massage-
And-Tone-Down hotline?
No.
Hot-Only-Holy-Oily...
Hot-Only-Oily?
I'll call the ambulance.
Kang Kang, you killed him.
No, I didn't.
Action.
What are you looking at?
Do you like it?
Here's another one.
I really want to ask her out
for soya beancurd break.
I think she and I will make...
I like her so much.
She's so cute.
Phua Chu Kang has no hair.
Cut.
What are you looking at?
Translator: SPECTRA MEDIA
Naughty boy!
Phua Chu Kang, stop right there!
My goodness!
Mum.
Why are all of you
bullying my Kang Kang?
This naughty kid kicked my chickens.
Your son dirtied my clothes.
Your son hit my son.
I'm sorry. Kang Kang.
Her son bullied Ah Beng.
I was protecting him.
I'm so sorry,
but your son bullied my son.
Shouldn't you have taken him in hand?
If you can't discipline him,
I'll do it for you.
You should rein in your son
instead of making ice kacang all day.
Look, all of you are adults,
yet you're bullying a kid.
Aren't you ashamed of yourselves?
You think you can take him in hand?
Go ahead.
Since you think you're good at
disciplining him, be my guest.
- You're so unreasonable.
- Don't do that again.
Aren't you leaving yet? Scram.
- Let's go.
- Let's go back for our meal.
Don't do that again.
Let's go.
Phua Chu Kang,
you're always causing trouble.
- I was protecting Ah Beng.
- You were protecting Ah Beng?
Still, why must you
go around kicking chickens
and tearing up clothes?
I was scared.
So many people were chasing me.
Do you promise to be a good boy?
I promise.
You won't do this again?
No.
Okay.
That was all the punishment you got?
What the hell. Come here.
Dad.
You're such a jinxed kid. Jinxed kid.
- That's enough, Dad.
- Enough? My foot.
- No, Grandpa.
- He's still a kid.
Go to hell, jinxed kid.
Dad.
Chu Kang, does it hurt?
Why don't I beat you
and you'll see if it hurts?
- She isn't here yet.
- What time is it now?
Time.
What time is she coming?
She said it'd be roughly
around this time.
Around what time is that?
Around this time.
This must be the bus.
That was what you said
for the last three buses.
- No, I'm sure this is the bus.
- How do you know that?
This is a purple bus.
The last three buses
were also purple in colour.
This is a different purple colour.
This must be the one.
I can feel it.
- Feel it?
- I'm sure.
- It's very hot, you know.
- I know.
She's here. Mum is here.
Mu...
Mu... I mean, Madam.
It's another woman.
- Mum.
- Mum.
I wasn't calling you.
- Mum.
- Mum.
Kang Kang.
Mum, you're here.
Why are you so skinny?
Didn't you have proper meals?
It must be the Malaysian food.
I did have proper meals.
Mum, why didn't you compliment me
for being thin as well?
Rosie. Thank you.
There are more bags at the back.
Mum, how is Beng Beng?
Is he still a crybaby?
So how are the children,
Romeo and Crystal? How are they?
Margaret is so mean.
She must be a big girl by now.
Get in. Is this okay?
Are you comfortable?
I'm so happy that you came early.
Hurry.
Chu!
Good grief.
Why are you so slow? Hurry up.
- Do you know these are very heavy?
- Hurry.
Mum is already here. Hurry.
Put that at the back.
You can put this on top of the...
And that can be placed...
Okay. Come on, let's go for a meal.
Mum, I'm going to take you
to a high-class restaurant
at Grand Dorsett Subang Hotel.
Don't mess with me.
Sheesh, it's okay.
I'm not very particular.
You're not very particular?
Mum, this is the first time
you're visiting us in Kuala Lumpur.
We must treat you like a queen.
Hey, if she's the queen,
then who am I?
The king.
The princess.
Princess?
I like that.
Actually, Kang Kang,
I've got something to tell you.
It's about your...
- Wait, my phone is ringing.
- Mum, you've got a disco ringtone.
Hello? What happened?
Chu, is this nice?
Yes, your jewellery at home
is already very nice.
Actually, I don't mind
having this as a present.
But your birthday is already over.
There's another special day coming.
Is there? Is it Christmas? Hari Raya?
I knew it, you forgot again.
It's our anniversary.
Sheesh, I was joking.
Of course I remember our anniversary.
Am I right, Mum?
Mum? Mum isn't here. Mum.
Weren't you talking to her?
Yeah, but when I turned around,
she disappeared.
Mum. Where are you?
Mum.
Why is she doing this? I'll call her.
Hello. Have you seen my mother?
Hello, ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls.
This is an announcement.
Please listen to me. Don't move.
We've found a young handsome boy.
He has curly hair
and a big black mole.
He's wearing a white shirt,
black pants and yellow boots.
Can the mother of
this young handsome boy
please come and claim him
at the counter now?
Right now.
Anytime now.
Mum, can you hear me? Where are you?
Okay.
Borrow 1,000 ringgit
without any interest
You're good.
You're good.
What did you say, fool?
I'm not afraid of you.
- Stop right there!
- Run.
You're an old man. Never mind.
Help me. Thank you.
Who's this? Hello?
Yeah. I'm the one
who put up the poster, the...
You found her? Thank you.
Okay, I'll come over now.
Cup noodles? They're available
in Malaysia too.
Pineapples? No wonder
the bag is so heavy.
It's so big.
And it's even lacy.
What's this?
A Malaysian telephone number?
Hello, good morning.
What's this place?
Sorry. Where's my mother?
- She's upstairs.
- She's upstairs?
Let's go.
Did you make a mistake?
- Just come up with me.
- Fine.
You're so talkative.
- There are people living here?
- Of course.
Mind your steps.
- Why are there so many steps?
- Hurry up. Are you malnourished?
I'm coming. It's so far away?
Is this the city tunnel?
We're almost there.
These still stink after washing.
Hurry up, she's inside.
Really?
Come in.
Don't mess with me.
Pay up.
Why is she covered with a blanket?
She feels cold.
Cold? It's so hot inside here.
Oh, yeah. She told me to tell you
not to remove the blanket
when you take her home.
She must be covered at all times.
Really?
Mum. It's time to wake up. Come on.
This isn't my mother. Good grief!
She's definitely your mother.
They look exactly the same. Pay up.
What nonsense is that?
These two women are the same,
but these two women aren't.
Why should I pay you?
Stop.
Okay. I don't want your money.
But can you take her away?
She's not even my mother.
Why should I take her away?
If you leave her here,
what am I going to do with her?
She's not my mother,
so it's not my problem.
You're crazy.
- Shut up.
- Come back.
You're full of crap.
Flora.
What do you want?
I want to go to the toilet.
You've been doing that for decades.
Can't you go on your own, Mum?
She doesn't even look like my mother.
What a waste of my time.
Well? Have you found your mother?
She wasn't my mother.
- Good.
- Why did you say it was good?
- That's because I think I found her.
- Where?
When I was going through Mum's bag
accidentally a while ago...
You found Mum in her bag?
Touch wood. No.
I found this piece of paper.
There's a telephone number.
- Phone number?
- Yeah, so I called the place.
Guess what place it is.
What place?
Respect the elderly and the virtuous
This place isn't too bad.
The entrance is so big
and adorned with red lanterns.
May you be prosperous.
Stop being goofy.
It means respect the elderly
and the virtuous.
It's a reminder that you should
respect your elders.
Why would Mum come here?
This is the office of
our CEO, Mr Lim.
Mr Lim must be very tall.
Mimi, Jasper.
Mr Lim will see you shortly.
Please take a seat first.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Sorry, but have we met before?
You look very familiar.
It's said I look partly like Jay Chou
and partly like Chow Yun Fat.
Yeah. Have you heard of
Chow Si Fat (stinky backside)?
Hello, everybody.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
I'm Lim Lao Pek,
the CEO of Seow Soon Home.
Hello, I'm Phua Chu Kang,
the CEO of PCK Pte Ltd
best in Singapore and Johor Bahru.
And some say Batam.
And I'm Rosie, the CFO, COO
and COE of PCK Pte Ltd.
Are you married?
Yes, to me.
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
- Take a seat.
- Take a seat.
Take a seat.
- Take a seat.
- Take a seat.
Are you guys here for the tender?
- What tender?
- Aren't you a contractor?
- Yes, I am.
- Yes, he is.
We're hoping to renovate
Seow Soon Home
so we're inviting contractors
to submit their tenders.
Don't you know?
- I didn't know...
- We do.
- We do.
- We do.
Angel, give them
the tender form later.
Yes, Mr Lim.
Actually, I came here for my mother.
Your mother.
She has to be placed
on the waiting list.
What waiting list?
Our place is full.
She'll have to wait for six months
before she can move in.
Move in? No.
I don't want her to move in.
You don't understand.
I'm looking for my mother.
Have you seen her before?
No.
Why did you react that way then?
Every old person looks the same.
But I've seen her.
You have? Where is she?
There she is.
Mum.
- Mum.
- Mum.
Kang Kang, what are you doing here?
I was looking for you.
How did you know where I was?
It was very hard to find you, okay?
Mum, why did you run away like that?
You know, I thought something
had happened to you.
You're not supposed to be here.
You're not supposed to be here.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you
where I went
but you have to leave now. Please.
It's okay, Mum. Come on,
we'll take you home.
- Come on, let's go.
- You go home. I'm staying here.
Staying here?
Why are you staying here?
I...
Why won't you come home with us?
Sorry, excuse me. Can I...
- Geez.
- What's wrong with you?
Mum.
Sheesh.
Why is Mum behaving this way?
She's supposed to be here
to visit us and enjoy her holiday.
Now, she doesn't even
want to stay with us.
Heck. Maybe Mum is getting
old and senile.
This is the correct place
for her then.
No, it's not that.
Sheesh. I forgot to take
the tender form from that Angel girl.
- I'll go now.
- That's it.
If we bid for the job here
and get the job here
we can spy on Mum and
see what she's really doing here.
Good idea, Rosie.
You thought of the idea so quickly.
Good.
What idea was he referring to?
What's he doing here?
He came to look for me.
What bad luck.
Why are you always behaving this way?
He's a good boy. He's your grandson.
Yes, he's the grandson
who brings bad luck.
You're so silly.
Hey, Zaihan.
I heard the lad with the big mole
will bid for the renovation job here.
He'll bid for the renovation job?
Good grief.
Look, if he wins the tender,
he'll be here every day.
Listen, I don't want to see
this jinxed kid.
- He isn't a jinxed kid.
- I don't want to see him.
Okay. I'll make sure
he doesn't get the job.
Really? How?
I'll have to call someone.
Hello, who are you looking for?
Please wait a moment.
Boss, there's a call for you.
Thank you so much, Tinkerbell.
Hello. Mum?
Hello, Madam. Stop it.
No, she's just my friend.
Actually, she's a client.
We're building a jacuzzi.
Yeah, Batam is very beautiful.
What can I do for you, Madam?
No, my friend... I mean
my client is disturbing me. Sorry.
What tender is it?
Remember, when I'm meeting Mr Lim,
you'll see what Mum is doing. Okay?
Spy on her.
- Why must I do it?
- It's because you're my wife.
Mr Phua, Mrs Phua,
nice to see you again.
Nice to see you too.
So did we get the job?
Mr Lim will let you know.
And Mr Foo is already here.
Please come with me.
Who is Mr Foo?
- Come in.
- Thank you.
Frankie Foo. Bloody fool.
Phua Chu Kang. Stinky drain.
They were friends?
Yeah, and then they became enemies.
Why?
Why? That's because both of them
fell in love with me.
Really?
What do you mean?
You don't believe that?
Yes. No. That's not what I meant.
I'll go look for Mr Lim.
What are you doing here?
I'm also bidding for the job.
- So I must say sorry to you.
- Why?
Chu Kang, you came
all the way up here for nothing
because I'm going to get the job.
Says who? I'll get the job,
so I should say sorry.
- I said sorry first.
- I'm sorrier.
I'm even sorrier than that.
- I'm sorriest.
- I'm sorriest.
Look, both of them are still fighting
over me after so many years.
My grandfather's grandfather
is sorry.
My ancestors are sorry.
- I'm sorry with a capital S.
- I'm sorry with a capital O.
- Capital R.
- Capital R.
- Capital Y.
- Why did you say Y?
- I didn't say Y.
- You said Y.
- I said sorry.
- I said sorry first.
- I said sorry.
- I said sorry.
Sorry. I'm late.
I heard voices,
but why don't I see anyone?
- Mr Lim.
- Mr Lim.
Who hit the two of you?
Stop fighting. Please go in.
Please have a seat.
- Okay. I want to sit here.
- I'll sit here.
- I came first. I want to sit...
- My seat.
I want to sit down here first.
I want to sit down on my seat.
I must sit here.
Mr Lim.
Mr Lim, I forgot to add something
to the tender form the other day.
- What's that?
- Do you like colours?
- What colours do you mean?
- Whatever colours you want.
I've got thousands of colours which
you can use for your old folks' home.
Mr Lim, I'm an expert in colours.
If you hire me for the job
I'll take you to a whole
new world of colours.
Mr Lim, don't listen to him.
He's colour-blind.
Look, his green shirt is so outdated.
- Mr Lim, I got the job, right?
- No, I got the job, right?
- Oh, please, I got the job.
- Oh, please, I got the job.
- I got the job.
- I got the job.
Coffee, tea or me?
I don't mind teh C (tea with milk).
What teh C? We're trying
to see who gets the...
Yeah, good idea, Rosie.
Why don't you get the teh C
since you like it so much?
Teh C? Much?
Teh C? Much?
To see Mum.
I should look for Mum.
But why must it be me?
Both of you got the job.
- What are you talking about?
- Each of you will take half the job.
With a shared project,
your relationship will be stronger.
We're sharing the project?
Yes, and you guys
have to do it for free.
- For free?
- For free?
- Are you serious?
- Are you serious?
Mum, where are you? Sheesh.
To see Mum. So I should look for Mum.
I don't see her.
Mrs Phua.
Lass, you scared me.
Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.
- This is for you.
- What's this?
Teh C. Mr Lim said
you needed a drink, right?
Which Mr Lim are you referring to?
My boss.
Mr Lim asked you
to order this for me?
Tell him I said thank you.
Mr Lim, what are you looking at?
- This is just the map of Malaysia.
- Yeah.
- Be quiet.
- Be quiet.
Now, Seow Soon Home
is over here, right?
Yes.
This is my plan. In two years' time
there'll be branches
in all these places
and Singapore as well.
Singapore?
This is why I want contractors
from Singapore
to build more homes for me.
I want Seow Soon Home to become
an established brand name
in both Malaysia and Singapore
like McDonald's and Burger King.
- Ramly Burger.
- I'm hungry.
- For burgers?
- No, KFC.
Do you know what it means
as the old folks are living longer?
It means that I can live until
I'm more than a hundred years old.
You're wrong.
This is my point.
With more and more elderly people,
where are they going to stay?
I know.
They'll live with their children.
You're wrong.
The elderly should live in
Seow Soon Home.
More Seow Soon Homes will be needed
for the growing elderly population.
Do you know how many of my homes
will be in demand
throughout Malaysia and Singapore?
That's a big project.
It's worth at least
ten million dollars.
- Ten million dollars?
- Ten million dollars?
So in the end,
that was what happened.
- Wait. I don't understand.
- Why?
- Both you and Frankie got the job?
- Yes.
- And you're doing it for free?
- Is this teh C?
Teh C? This is what happens when
you go out to negotiate on your own.
Don't chase me away in future, okay?
Rosie, you don't understand.
If we do this free job
better than Frankie Foo does,
we'll get the bigger project.
And the bigger project
is worth ten million dollars.
Ten million dollars.
Rosie, I'm talking about
ten million dollars.
- Wait.
- What?
I'm counting the zeros.
We've never done such a big project.
Do you know there are many zeros
in ten million?
Oh, please, ten million dollars is...
Five plus...
It's a very big project.
It'll be like McDonald's,
Burger King and Ramly Burger.
Oh my, you're making me hungry.
- For burgers?
- No, fried kway teow (rice noodles).
- What?
- Yeah.
So did you find out and see
what Mum is doing?
Here's the teh C. Goodbye.
Seow Soon Home
Are you ready to rumble?
Are you ready to be humbled?
I'm not. What about you?
What about me? Ready to rumble
or ready to be humbled?
- What? What are you talking about?
- What? What do you want?
Why don't you understand?
I'm speaking English.
What English? I don't even know
what you're talking about.
If you don't learn English,
how will you understand anything?
- Listen up. I'm watching you.
- I'm watching you instead.
You'd better not screw this up.
- I'll hammer you.
- Hammer me?
If we're not starting work yet,
can I go for a soya beancurd break?
Yes, Boss, can I go for
a lontong break?
- I'll break your head first!
- I'll break your head first!
- I'll start work first.
- I'll start work first.
- You'd better do your work properly.
- Is that a command?
On your mark, get set, go.
You cheated. Go. Faster.
Don't mess with me. I'll take you
to a whole new world of colours.
Seow Soon Home
This is my Seow Soon Home.
I don't see anything special.
I know. Look.
If I do this, this will be
your new Seow Soon Home.
You can choose any colour you want.
You can change the colour too.
The good thing is that
you can see what it's like
before we actually paint it.
I prefer red.
Red. Okay, here we go.
- Yuck.
- Yuck.
- It looks like a temple.
- Yuck.
- Yes, it looks bloody. This is out.
- I don't want this.
- What about gold colour?
- Gold colour. Here you go.
- Not bad. I like it.
- Not bad. It's beautiful, right?
- Okay, so let's go with this colour.
- No.
- It's so passe.
- Yes, it's very passe.
Sheesh. Why did it turn out this way?
So what colour do you want?
You want it to be transparent?
- Transparent?
- There's a transparent colour?
There're so many colours?
Of course.
Boss, what's this strange colour
that Mr Lim wants?
I've never seen it before.
Whatever colour it is,
it'll be available here.
But I don't see it anywhere.
Sheesh. Use your brain.
Use the computer.
- Computer?
- Here.
Key in the colour that you want.
Voila. There you go.
Can I also play computer games?
Okay, press the button.
And keep your eyes peeled.
I think you can lose weight this way.
Boss, that was so enjoyable.
But my underwear is slipping off.
- Excuse me.
- Yes?
Should I move the residents away
while you're painting here?
- Why?
- It's because of the smell.
I smell?
No, not you. I meant the paint.
Do you smell any paint?
Actually, I can't.
But I'm worried about the residents.
Don't worry.
This paint doesn't have any smell.
It's good for the old folks.
So it's odourless.
I have nothing to worry about then.
Odourless. Wait.
Yes?
I... You... I...
- Nothing.
- Okay.
- Make sure the power is off.
- Yes, it's off.
Boss, do you know the girl
called Angel who works here?
The assistant manager? Why?
Yeah. Do you think
I have a chance with her?
You and Angel?
Yeah, I think she's really pretty.
She's so sweet and beautiful.
- What?
- I got an electric shock!
Didn't you say the power was off?
Sorry, Boss, sorry.
Okay, now, it's off.
Now, it's off?
It wasn't off just now?
Sorry, Boss. Now, it's really off.
Are you sure it's off?
- I'm sure.
- Really?
- Yes.
- Don't lie to me.
Okay.
So anyway, Boss,
I really want to ask Angel out
for a soya beancurd break with me.
I think she and I will really make
a very good couple.
Boss?
Fix the light yourself next time.
Frankie Foo, bloody fool, it was you.
Yeah. It was shocking, right?
I'll take revenge.
It wasn't my fault.
- Hey, King Kong.
- Hey, hello.
How are you?
I'm fine.
What are you doing now?
I'm painting.
Yes, you're painting.
What kind of paint are you using now?
This paint can reflect heat.
It'll keep your house cool.
It's very good.
Okay.
I'll let you get back to work.
Wait.
Yes?
Afterwards, do you want to go for
a soya beancurd break with me?
Sure.
You're serious?
You mean you're not serious?
No. I'm serious. Goodbye.
Yes!
Sheesh. It's you again.
You just never give up.
Excuse me.
Please don't block the way.
He's sleeping so soundly.
I'll push you along.
Oh dear.
Sir, are you okay? I'm sorry. Sir?
Sir, are you okay?
Mr Phua, what happened?
It was only an accident.
I don't know
what happened to him. He...
- There's no pulse.
- That's my finger.
- Sorry.
- There's no pulse.
- I'll call the ambulance.
- Ambulance?
- Kang Kang, you killed him.
- No, I didn't.
Did I?
Angel, I really didn't kill Zaihan.
It was an accident.
I'm not the type of person
to commit murder.
Okay, but the police are still inside
talking to Mr Lim.
We'll see what they say.
But why are they
taking so long inside?
Chu Kang, come here, listen to me.
Run away.
- Where am I supposed to run to?
- Run away from the police.
Chu Kang, you listen to me.
I'm your best and oldest friend.
I won't betray you.
We were together in
Sang Nila Utama Primary School, man.
- Sang Nila Utama
- Sang Nila Utama
Yes. I'll give you five minutes,
no, seven and a half minutes.
And then I'll tell them.
Go to hell.
What's this about telling them?
How could you joke about this?
- Thank you, Officer.
- Sorry.
- Thank you.
- Sir, this way.
Aren't you going to
take him away with you?
- Shut up.
- He's the murderer.
- Why are you sabotaging me?
- You're a murderer.
Murderer, my foot.
- Good grief.
- Murderer.
- Shut up.
- You're a murderer.
Mr Lim, so how did it go?
What happened?
Consider yourself lucky.
The doctor said he was already dead
before you pushed him.
Really?
So I didn't kill him.
But I'm not happy.
Why?
Why?
He passed away right after
you came to our home.
You bring bad luck.
Mr Lim, that's why you must fire him.
And you won't have bad luck again.
Yeah, that makes sense. Cheers.
Okay, this one.
This one looks good.
The boss has confirmed the colour.
The colour.
This colour is good.
Chu, are you ready?
Yeah, I'm ready.
Do you notice anything different?
Yeah, there's a lot of difference.
Phua Chu Kang, look properly.
- What?
- Any difference?
White hair. I saw it.
Sheesh. I wasn't referring to that.
It's my new dress.
I bought it specially for
our wedding anniversary tonight.
We're going for dinner.
Anniversary dinner tonight?
Sheesh. I can't make it.
I promised Mr Lim that I'll install
all the toilet bowls by tonight.
Can we postpone the dinner?
How can we postpone
our wedding anniversary?
Where's King Kong?
You want to have our wedding
anniversary dinner with King Kong?
No, I want to ask him to do your job.
He went for soya beancurd break
and he isn't back yet.
That's why I don't even
have time for dinner.
Chu, it's only one night, you know?
Mr Lim has given me a second chance.
I have to work harder now.
I can't mess up again.
So you can mess up
our wedding anniversary?
We can enjoy our wedding anniversary
every year.
But this is
a ten-million-dollar project.
What's more important?
Okay, listen,
if you're not happy about it
next year, we'll have a nice
and wonderful celebration, okay?
Next year. Don't assume
I'll still be here next year.
You can celebrate
your own anniversary.
Rosie, don't say that.
What do you mean...
It's our anniversary, right?
Hello, Mr Lim. Hello.
Yeah. I'm getting ready.
Yeah, I can finish it tonight.
Thank you for the second chance.
Thank you. Ten million, yes.
Hello, darling.
Don't rush me. I'm on my way, okay?
Okay, goodbye.
You've made a reservation?
I'm on my way. Goodbye.
- Mrs Phua.
- Mr Lim.
Where are you going?
You're dressed to the nines.
Are you going for a date?
Chu Kang and I were supposed
to have dinner together.
It's our wedding anniversary today.
But...
He stood you up? That's not nice.
It's all because of you.
He can't finish all the tasks
you gave him.
It's all because of me?
I'm really sorry about that.
Why don't I fire him so that he can
have dinner with you every day?
No. Actually, I have to thank you
for giving him one more chance.
Mr Lim, can you also give him
the ten-million-dollar project?
Well, that's a little difficult.
I'm a little hungry.
Why don't we talk about this
over dinner?
Would you like to join me?
It's my treat.
Or let's make it your treat.
No, it's your treat.
King Kong? Good grief.
Mum, you scared me.
Kang Kang, he's missing.
No, he's not. King Kong just went for
soya beancurd break.
Soya beancurd break? No,
I wasn't referring to King Kong.
I was referring to your grandpa.
My... My what?
Hello, Mr Lim. This way, please.
Thank you.
Here.
- Be careful. Come on.
- This place is huge.
- Have a seat.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
This is a classy restaurant.
Having a meal here must be expensive.
Do you often come here for meals?
You don't like it?
We can go to a coffee shop instead.
No. I just feel bad about it
since the food here must be expensive
and I guess you don't earn a lot
from running an old folks' home.
Don't say that, Rosie.
I plan to do a live charity show.
I know that kind of show.
Viewers can call in to make donations
of five dollars, ten dollars
or a hundred dollars.
Call 1900-112. I called before.
That's actually very profitable.
You can earn millions of dollars
in one show.
Yes. That's why I could expand
Seow Soon Home.
So you can give Chu that
ten-million-dollar project, right?
It's still a little difficult.
I'm feeling parched.
Would you like a drink?
Teh C?
Do you have XO?
- I can't find him anywhere.
- Wait.
You said Grandpa.
You meant my grandfather?
No, I meant your chickens.
Of course I meant your grandfather.
But I thought he's dead. Wait.
Which grandfather is this?
Is it my father's father
or your father?
It's your father's father.
You mean the one who was
always beating me?
There was a long time ago.
So that was the old man whom
Rosie thought was your boyfriend.
- How gross.
- How gross.
So that's why
you wanted to come here.
I wanted to tell you,
but he didn't want me to.
Why?
Sheesh. If you help me find him,
I'll tell you everything.
No. Tell me first,
and then I'll help you.
But...
Sheesh. Okay.
But it's a very long story.
It's okay.
Once upon a time,
in a village not so far from here
there lived a beautiful princess.
Why is there a princess in a village?
Do you want to hear my story?
Yes, I do. Sorry.
Beautiful princess.
Is that considered beautiful?
Keep watching.
The beautiful princess
met a handsome prince
who looked like your father,
who looked like you.
They fell in love.
That was so romantic.
And then the princess got pregnant.
That was so...
That was not so romantic.
The father of the prince
was very angry
that the princess was pregnant
and forced the prince and princess
to get married as soon as possible.
Then the baby was born.
He's so cute.
Everyone loved the baby,
except the father of the prince.
Jinxed kid.
Why do you say that?
That was because the baby was born
with a big mole on his face.
The father of the prince
believed that
the baby was born
with a big mole on his face
because the prince got the princess
pregnant before marriage.
A fortune-teller told
the father of the prince that
the mole would bring
bad luck to the whole family.
I was that baby.
The father-in-law was always
beating the boy until one day
the prince couldn't take it anymore
and sent his own father away
even though it hurt him very much.
That was so sad.
After that, the princess never saw
her father-in-law again.
She even told her children
that he was dead.
This mole really brings bad luck?
No wonder he always called me
the jinxed kid.
Don't say that.
Many years later
the father-in-law called the princess
and wanted to see her.
She wanted to tell the boy,
but his grandpa told her not to.
Grandpa.
By now, the boy has grown into
a big, strong, handsome man.
Kang Kang, are you okay?
So why did Grandpa call the princess?
He thinks that someone's killing
people in the old folks' home.
People living in
the old folks' home are old.
Old people die.
That's what old people do.
No one's killing them.
I'm old too. Does that mean
I'm supposed to die too?
Touch wood.
No, you're not going to die.
But if you do,
I won't blame anyone for killing you.
Predictions for career and marriage,
assessment of names
palmistry, physiognomy,
selection of auspicious dates
This is really...
Wake up, Master.
How can I help you?
Can you help me get rid of bad luck?
I want blessings and not misfortune.
Is that so? Really? Okay. Sure.
Okay. Thank you. Goodbye.
Was that Angel? What did she say?
He's on his way back.
Angel said the police found Grandpa
in a fortune-teller's shop.
Fortune-teller?
Yes, Grandpa wanted to
get rid of his bad luck
but he had no money to pay
and even refused to leave the shop.
So the fortune-teller had no choice
but to call the police.
I think I know what the bad luck is.
Yeah, it's me.
Mr Lim, you've got a big house.
Even your swimming pool
is bigger than my house.
And this chair...
Sheesh.
You dropped your earring?
- I'm thirsty.
- You're thirsty?
- I'm thirsty.
- You're thirsty?
- I'm thirsty.
- You're thirsty?
- I'm thirsty.
- You're thirsty?
- Hurry.
- Okay.
Let's take it slow.
We've got all night.
That's not necessary.
I like women like you.
Every man likes women like me.
But I chose Phua Chu Kang.
Phua Chu Kang.
Yet every year,
he forgets our wedding anniversary.
That man doesn't deserve you.
Sheesh. I don't have a choice.
This is my destiny.
Let me tell you.
Your destiny is in your hands.
If the opportunity arises,
you must seize it.
You'll get rich then.
Do you know how I became rich?
Heck. You just told me.
You seized the opportunities
that came your way.
Come closer.
I'll tell you a secret. Come on.
Out of every ten ringgit
donated to the old folks' home
do you know how much
I spend on the old folks?
- Nine ringgit.
- You're wrong.
- Okay, seven ringgit.
- You're wrong.
- Five ringgit?
- You're wrong.
Let me tell you. It's one ringgit.
What about the other nine ringgit?
The other nine ringgit?
They go into my own pockets.
How could you do that?
Why couldn't I?
How else could I afford
my bonus, salary, commission
and the maintenance of
this bungalow?
How do you maintain
the old folks' home then?
That's easy.
I simply do it by cutting corners.
So you're a cheat?
I'm not cheap. I'm very classy.
I didn't say cheap; I said cheat.
Listen, many children don't like
to live with their parents.
They send them to Seow Soon Home.
So we take care of them.
In fact, they should thank me.
Do you agree?
What are you doing?
Where are you going?
I'm going home. You're a cheat.
Why are you going home?
You're a cheat.
I'm a cheat?
Do you know why
I didn't fire your husband?
If I fire your husband
I won't get to see you again.
It'll break my heart.
Seow Soon Home
Have you had your meal?
Yeah. I'm very full now.
Isn't the weather nice today?
Yeah.
Where did you come from?
- Can you let me pass through?
- Sure.
So you...
You can speak first.
Rosie, actually, I want to apologise
for what happened last night.
I really should've gone with you
for the anniversary dinner.
Yeah. I'm very sorry too.
And I found out something.
What?
I found out that I have a grandpa.
I have a grandpa too.
No, I mean a grandpa
who is still alive.
- I thought he's dead?
- Me too.
But actually,
he's living in this old folks' home.
That's why Mum came here.
He must be very old then.
He's very, very old.
He's older than Mum.
He must be the old man
who talked to Mum the other day.
No wonder he looked so familiar.
He looked like you.
That's why I must get
this ten-million-dollar project.
I'll show Grandpa that
I don't bring bad luck.
Chu, I've got something
to tell you too.
What is it?
I don't want you to handle
Lim Lao Pek's project anymore.
Sheesh. Rosie,
I've already apologised.
- Why can't you give me a break?
- No.
- He's cheating people.
- What people?
People who have hands, legs,
a head, hair and ears.
They can be American, Chinese,
Eurasian or Japanese.
No. What's this
about cheating people?
You know,
out of every ten ringgit donated
he pockets nine ringgit.
- So?
- So? That's wrong.
The money is meant for
the old folks' home.
- It's not for him.
- How do you know that?
- He told me.
- When?
Last night.
Last night?
But last night was our anniversary.
Yeah, I only went for dinner
with him.
Dinner?
Chu, where are you going?
Sheesh.
- Wait, Chu.
- I'm not talking to you.
- Are you listening?
- Am I even talking to you?
- Sheesh.
- So you had dinner?
What did you use?
Fork and spoon, chopsticks or hands?
- Did you do it this way?
- You listen to me.
Mr Lim, open the gate.
I want to talk to you.
Mr Lim, don't pretend
you're not inside.
I know you're inside.
I can see the car there.
This way.
We aren't there yet?
This house is so big.
Maybe you should install a cable car.
Thank you.
Mr Lim, Mr Phua is here.
She's so nice.
Lim Lao Pek, what did you
do to my wife last night?
- I'm going to kill you.
- Chu, don't kill him.
- Why not?
- That's because you'll go to jail.
- I don't care.
- You won't like it there.
Why not?
That's because they'll feed you
curry every day.
There's no chicken rice
or fried kway teow.
How boring, right?
Mr Phua.
Chu.
I know you're very angry.
So you wouldn't mind if I kill you?
I would. Let go.
- XO.
- XO?
- Do you want some?
- No, thanks.
I forgot. You had a lot yesterday.
- She finished two bottles of XO.
- Two bottles?
You drank XO with him?
Ask him about the money.
What money?
Your salary, commission and bonus
all the money that you cheated
out of the old folks' home.
Don't slander me.
You don't have proof.
I don't need proof. I just have to
tell everybody that you're a cheat.
And nobody will donate money
to you again.
- Come on, let's have some XO.
- Let's have XO.
XO is so good.
You can't do this to me.
You're making me very stressed.
Chu.
- Good grief.
- Sheesh.
Okay. That's enough.
Thank you. But that doesn't mean
I won't kill you.
I understand. I know it's my fault.
I shouldn't have
let your wife seduce me.
She seduced you? You seduced him?
That's nonsense. He seduced me first.
You're confusing me by saying that.
We went for dinner.
After that, you came home with me
and we had two bottles of XO.
I'm a man.
What she wanted from me
is anybody's guess.
Wait.
Sorry, excuse me,
I hope you don't mind me saying this.
It was our anniversary last night,
but you went for dinner with him.
- You had XO with him.
- Two bottles of XO.
I know it was two bottles.
And you went home with him?
But I did all that for you.
- For me?
- Yeah.
I knew how badly you wanted
the ten-million-dollar project.
So I thought...
So you thought
you could seduce him for me?
Yeah. I mean no. I mean...
Sheesh. I can't remember.
I had too much XO, you know.
Too much XO? Didn't you
only have two bottles of XO?
No. Sheesh.
Okay. I'll make it up to you.
How will you make it up to me?
We'll become partners.
- Partners?
- Partners?
If you're my partner
the ten-million-dollar project
will naturally be yours.
Here, partner. We'll be the best.
The best?
Chu, don't tell me
you're thinking about it.
Don't you remember he's a cheat?
You have no proof.
- Cheers, partner.
- Partner.
What the hell.
You mean Kang Kang
joined forces with this cheat?
Yeah, Lim Lao Pek purposely
made him his partner
so that I wouldn't tell other people
that he's a cheat.
I don't believe my Kang Kang
would do this.
Like I told you,
he's a useless jinxed kid.
Don't always say that about him.
He's not jinxed, okay?
Who's she?
She's Rosie,
your granddaughter-in-law.
She looks like a prostitute.
I'm not a prostitute, okay?
She was a bar girl.
I was a singer.
- Bar girl.
- Singer.
- Bar girl.
- Can we talk about my Chu?
Sheesh.
We must find a way to prove to him
that Lim Lao Pek is a cheat.
Lim Lao Pek must've kept
some records somewhere.
I know. Chu told me he has
this laptop in his office.
We can go into his office
and take his laptop.
Listen, we'll go into his office
and take his laptop.
I just said that.
You didn't. Don't bluff me.
Okay. I'll go look for Frankie Foo.
Frankie Foo?
Who's this Frankie Foo?
He's your grandson's enemy.
I like this Frankie Foo.
Heck. Both of you
look for Frankie first.
I have an idea. I've to find someone.
- Okay.
- I'll go with him?
Rosie? Help me.
I want to go to the toilet.
Okay, here.
How much did you charge
when you were a prostitute?
I wasn't a prostitute.
Chu Kang. Come here.
Call me Uncle. What's that?
Uncle? That's correct.
Zul, do it properly.
You've got a lot of work
to do, you know.
You've got to change the fan.
You've got to change
all the air-conditioner units.
You'd better do that first.
Go. Get going.
Boss, I'm tired.
Can I go for lontong break?
Lontong break? In your dreams.
I'd rather throw you into the sea
so that the squid can have a break.
Go and do it now. Go.
What a useless chap.
What are you doing here?
I told you to get lost.
Wait. Someone wants to
say something to you.
Who? Mr Lim, it's you.
I have some bad news for you.
Mr Phua will be my partner
with effect from today.
- Have a good chat.
- Thank you.
Partner.
Partner? Are the two of you
doing the tango dance?
Tango your mango.
I'm your boss.
My boss?
And because I'm your boss,
I can say something
I've always wanted to say
a long, long, long time ago.
You are fired.
That felt great.
You fired Frankie Foo?
No one fires Frankie Foo.
Frankie Foo fires you.
Phua Chu Kang, stinky drain.
I'll fire you back. I'll fire you.
Frankie.
What are you doing?
I don't know.
Maybe I'll go for a massage.
Maybe I'll go fishing.
Maybe I'll kill myself.
I haven't decided
which one to do first.
What are you talking about?
Don't play dumb, Rosie.
Chu Kang fired me.
Chu fired you?
Must you state the obvious again?
Do you want revenge?
Who are you?
This is Chu's grandpa.
He's still alive? He must be
older than Chu Kang's mother.
Chu Kang's mother is very old.
He must be older.
So what do you want from me?
- Come with me.
- Wait.
- What do you want to say?
- Come here. Sheesh.
What the hell.
They didn't wait for me. Hey.
Okay.
How did you get here so fast?
- Grandpa?
- I took a shortcut.
So Frankie, we need your help.
Do you still have the key
to Lim Lao Pek's office?
Oh, yeah, they fired me,
but they forgot to take the key back.
Why do you want to
get into his office?
We need proof that Lim Lao Pek
is cheating the old folks' home.
I see. What happens
when you find the proof?
We can expose him then.
The jinxed kid
will lose the project then.
Oh, yes, Chu Kang
will lose the project.
So you'll help us?
Rosie, on one condition.
Sheesh. What condition is it?
- I want a kiss from you.
- What?
- You want to kiss her? Why?
- Why not?
So? Do I get my kiss?
Now?
Of course. Are you going to
wait for Chinese New Year?
Unless you don't want my help.
Heck. Excuse me.
- What's this?
- The kiss you wanted.
On the lips.
The kiss should be on the lips.
Frankie Foo, don't try to play dirty.
Right from the start, you didn't say
where the kiss should be.
Okay. I'll say it now.
Rosie, on the lips.
If you don't want my help, it's okay.
Wait, let me think.
I want to vomit.
I've already vomited.
Are you ready?
I'm ready.
I'm ready.
Grandpa, this is very dangerous.
We may get caught.
Dangerous? I don't care.
Nobody told me it can get dangerous.
I've changed my mind.
I don't want to do this anymore.
I've already kissed you.
You must do it.
Please, Rosie, it's so dangerous.
You must give me one more kiss.
Surely... not.
Please, Rosie, give me one more kiss.
What the hell.
Why does he always want to kiss her?
- Yes.
- No.
- Yes.
- No.
Please, one more kiss.
Please don't ask me
for that again. Sheesh.
- Grandpa, why are you here already?
- You were so fast again.
- Yeah.
- I took a shortcut.
I've been living here
for so many years.
That's why I know all the shortcuts.
- Key.
- Your kiss?
No, the key.
- I got it.
- You want to make me vomit again?
Sheesh. Are you sure it can work?
Okay, nobody's here. Let's go.
Rosie, why did you fart?
I was feeling nervous.
I can't see anything.
I can only see the fish.
Sheesh. It's dark in here.
Of course you can't see anything.
Turn on the light.
We can't.
If we turn on the light,
people will know that we're here.
But we have torchlights.
I don't.
Of course you don't.
You aren't supposed to be here.
Okay. Turn on the torchlights.
I still can't see anything.
I can only see the fish.
Grandpa.
You can see now, right?
No, I want to go to the toilet.
- Now?
- It's your fault.
You guys keep shushing me so much
that I'm feeling the urge to pee.
Okay, go.
- Hurry.
- I'll go.
- Do you know the way?
- I'll go.
- Can you manage?
- I'll go.
Be quick.
I can't see anything.
Sheesh. My urine is coming out soon.
I can't hold it in any longer.
Okay, hurry, this way.
Come on, let's go.
Rosie, you'll go search.
I'll guard the door.
No. What if you run away?
Sheesh, Rosie, please.
I'm Frankie Foo, not a bloody fool.
No matter what happens,
I'll stand by you.
- Stay here.
- Okay.
Be careful. Hurry.
Be careful.
Hurry. Can you find it?
Look carefully.
This place is very dark
and so is the computer.
How am I supposed to see anything?
Sheesh. Use your torchlight, Rosie.
I'm using it. Can't you see?
Okay, hurry.
- Can you see it?
- Wait.
- Okay, look in the drawer, yeah.
- Yeah.
Can you find it?
I found it. Yeah!
That was so easy. Yeah!
- I got it.
- That was so easy, right?
I thought it'd be difficult.
Mr Lim is so stupid to think he won't
get caught stealing from old folks.
How stupid of him to put this
in an unlocked drawer.
- High five, low five, backside five.
- High five, low five, backside five.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
- High five.
- High five.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
Mr Lim is very stupid?
Mr Lim.
You're stealing from me.
You're stealing my laptop
which is very easy for you.
No, Mr Lim, I just came back
to return your key.
And I'm returning your kiss. Goodbye.
Frankie Foo.
I told you to join me,
but you refused.
I would've given you
ten or twenty computers easily
not to mention just one.
This is your last chance.
I'll give you two computers
and one iPhone.
What do you think?
Look, the police have arrived.
You've lost your chance.
- Let go of me. Let go.
- You've lost your chance.
- Goodbye.
- Over here.
Wait. Don't come back. Sheesh.
You're going to jail.
Let go.
Look, my partner's here.
We have such great rapport.
Mr Phua.
Phua Chu Kang, you brought
the police here to arrest me?
Sheesh, Rosie.
This is even worse than
forgetting our wedding anniversary.
Who is Mr Lim Lao Pek?
- That's me.
- Can you come with us?
No, it's not me. Arrest her.
No, Sir, he's the bad guy.
Please arrest him. He's a cheat.
- She's a thief.
- Cheat.
- Thief.
- Cheat.
- Thief.
- Cheat.
- Thief.
- Cheat.
- Cheat.
- Thief.
Good grief.
- Cheat.
- Thief.
Mr Phua, please explain
to the police. Hurry.
She's correct. He's the bad man,
the bad guy, the cheat.
Mr Phua, don't forget
your contract with me.
Yeah, the contract for
the ten-million-dollar project.
But I didn't sign it.
Here's your contract.
Ten million. Fifty million.
A hundred million.
You betrayed me.
What the hell.
What took you so long to rescue me?
They grabbed me so tightly.
It was so painful.
I don't see anyone.
I thought you didn't
believe me at first.
At first, I didn't believe you.
- You really didn't believe me?
- I really didn't believe you.
You really, really didn't believe me?
I really, really didn't believe you.
You really didn't believe me?
Now, I believe you.
- So now, you believe me?
- Now, I believe you.
- You really believe me?
- I really believe you.
- You really, really believe me?
- I really, really believe you.
You really, really believe...
You want to know
why I believe you now?
Yeah.
Okay, look.
This angle isn't good. Try this side.
Look, when I first saw
Mr Lim Lao Pek's house
I started having questions.
How could he possibly be so rich
from running an old folks' home?
And when he asked me to sign
the ten-million-dollar contract
I became more suspicious.
- Here, sign this.
- Okay.
Wait.
I told you not to call me.
I'm not free.
Sheesh.
Go ahead and sign it.
I'll come back later. Goodbye.
Why would anyone leave
during the signing of a contract?
So I thought I should follow him.
I kept following him until
he reached a desolate area.
Suddenly, he parked his car.
I parked mine too.
But I switched off the lights
so that he couldn't see me.
I was clever, right?
He wasn't alone.
There was a gangster with tattoos.
They seemed to be talking about
some illegal business.
But I couldn't hear them.
So I went nearer to listen to them.
Boss, it's very expensive
this time round.
No, I want it cheap, fresh and big.
Where can we find that?
Boss.
What's wrong?
I can sense someone following us.
Really?
Your senses aren't accurate.
It's time for servicing.
That's impossible. My senses
have always been accurate.
They couldn't have gone wrong.
Boss, listen. Our business
has been doing very well recently.
Keep a low profile.
Don't tell anyone.
Yes, Boss.
The police are here!
Listen, you'd better be
on your guard.
Sorry, Boss.
Sorry, Boss.
Wake up and get cracking.
Are these two rookies up to the task?
They're okay.
The packaging is really nice now.
The expiry date is included too.
No one can see
when the real expiry date is.
Boss, don't worry.
I'll manage this very well.
Boss, will the old folks die
after they take these?
When people get old,
they'll die no matter what they eat.
What are you worried about?
Making money is our priority.
Yes. Boss, this is a brilliant idea.
Guys, don't cause any trouble for me.
Just do your work.
- Did you hear that? Do your work.
- Do your work.
- Chu, you're my hero.
- Of course.
- I'll tell you a secret.
- What secret?
- I want to marry you.
- You've already married me.
Oh, yes. I forgot.
Jinxed kid.
Don't always call him that.
He's very smart.
He only pretended
to be Mr Lim's partner.
Is that a fake mole too?
This is real.
This jinxed kid isn't that bad.
He isn't such a jinx after all.
Grandpa.
Good boy.
Grandpa.
I forgot. I saw Lim Lao Pek
and his three gangsters run away.
No, Lim Lao Pek is in the car.
No, he isn't.
He's really not in the car.
My grandpa said he saw him inside.
Rosie, protect Grandpa.
Grandpa, I'll protect you.
I'm Chu Kang's angel.
The police are here.
We have to flee separately. Okay?
It's too dangerous to stay together.
We'll be sitting ducks.
Okay? Go.
I've already told you guys
to flee separately.
It's very dangerous.
- How would we know?
- How would we know?
Sheesh, you're such fools.
Come on. We'll use the back door.
Police!
Run!
That's what he's been doing
to the people here. Chu told me.
Lim Lao Pek
really killed those people?
I was right about it.
Grandpa, he's there.
I know what you did
to Zaihan and the rest.
- Stop running.
- Don't come near me.
- Sheesh, you...
- Back off. Don't come near me.
Lim Lao Pek, don't mess with me.
You'd better give up.
Put the weapon down.
Put the weapon down.
Put the weapon down.
Mum, where did you come from?
I went to look for Angel
to see if she could help us.
She was having soya beancurd break
with King Kong.
I really couldn't
believe this at first.
I told her that if Boss said
Lim Lao Pek was a bad guy
then he must surely be a bad guy.
Am I right, Angel?
Yes, King Kong.
I think it's the power of love.
Back off. Stay away.
Dad.
- Let go of him.
- Stay away or I'll kill him.
Mr Lim, don't do anything stupid.
Mr Lim, what do you want?
Calm down. Tell them what you want.
I want you.
I'm a man too. I like you.
Is that wrong?
That's definitely wrong.
She's my wife.
- My heart.
- Grandpa?
- Dad?
- Are you okay?
- You...
- What's wrong, Grandpa? Grandpa!
Dad.
I didn't kill him. It wasn't me.
- You killed my grandpa?
- I didn't kill him.
- You killed my grandpa!
- I didn't kill him.
You killed my grandpa!
Arrest me, hurry. Arrest me.
You killed my grandpa!
I didn't kill him.
Grandpa.
Grandpa.
Grandpa.
Why?
I wish I could've spent
more time with him.
Kang Kang, at least you got to
know him again before he died.
What's that sound?
It sounds like...
He's snoring. He's not dead.
He's sleeping?
Dad.
- Dad, wake up.
- Grandpa, wake up.
He's alive.
Grandpa, you're alive.
Dad, are you okay?
I'm fine. I had a nice dream.
I dreamt about you, my grandchildren
my great-grandchildren and me.
All of us stayed together happily.
It's not too late.
Excuse me, does that mean
he's also staying with us?
He can hear you. He's not dead.
Sorry.
Grandpa, you scared me.
What the hell.
UNO.
So your grandpa was right about
someone killing off his friends.
Actually, I don't think
that's really why he called you.
Why did he call then?
Angel told me that he knows
he's very sick
and doesn't have much time left.
So that's why he called me at first.
Maybe we can ask him to come back
and stay with us.
Why don't you ask him?
He's sleeping again.
But he's not snoring.
Dad?
Grandpa.
Grandpa, don't mess with me.
Walk slowly.
Sheesh. I'm sorry. Sheesh.
Here. This way. Okay.
You can stop walking. Stop.
Okay, you can take it off now.
- Okay.
- Wait.
I don't mean your clothes.
That's for later.
Take this off. Keep your eyes peeled.
Surprise.
Sit down.
Rosie, don't mess with the chef.
There's sambal stingray with sambal
fried black pepper crabs and
chicken with only prawn paste.
Then these are prawns
with breakfast oats.
This is fried rice with salted fish.
This is assam fish head curry
with nothing else.
This is Buddha Jumps Over the Wall
and the Neighbour's Wall.
- It's the real stuff?
- Shark's fin soup with crab meat.
And then there's durian ice cream.
Lastly, there's classy red wine.
Don't drink it yet.
Let's do it the French way.
Rosie.
Happy anniversary. I didn't forget.
Thank you, Chu.
It's so difficult.
Okay, let's tuck in.
We can't.
That's because there's Part Two.
In Phua Chu Kang Part Two.
He's our new CEO, Mr Lim.
Lim Lao Pek? Weren't you in jail?
How did you...
You don't understand
American English?
It's okay. I'll speak Mandarin.
I'm Lim Lao Pek's elder brother,
Lim Lao Hiang.
Are you married?
If you treat her like the queen,
then who am I?
The king.
I mean, the princess.
Actually, Kang Kang.
Wait. A princess will like this.
Actually, I've got something to...
- Tell you.
- Tell you.
You didn't know?
You asked me that,
but you didn't tell me what it is.
What do you mean?
You see?
How scary.
She's scared.
Wrong delivery.
I found this piece of paper.
There's a telephone number.
- Phone number?
- That's why I called the place.
Guess what place it is.
Place?
Ramly Burger delivery?
No.
Meet-A-Boyfriend
delivery hotline?
Sheesh.
Holy-Hot-Old-Man-
For-Holy-Hot-Woman hotline?
No.
Need-A-Friend hotline?
Sheesh.
Need-A-Massage-
And-Tone-Down hotline?
No.
Hot-Only-Holy-Oily...
Hot-Only-Oily?
I'll call the ambulance.
Kang Kang, you killed him.
No, I didn't.
Action.
What are you looking at?
Do you like it?
Here's another one.
I really want to ask her out
for soya beancurd break.
I think she and I will make...
I like her so much.
She's so cute.
Phua Chu Kang has no hair.
Cut.
What are you looking at?
Translator: SPECTRA MEDIA