Pets (2002) - full transcript
Brother and sister, Peter and Shannon, are left alone at home; they stumble across a truck full of stolen gold and are held captive by three incompetent bank robbers.
(MultiCom Jingle)
(intense instrumental music)
(artillery whistles)
(martial instrumental music)
(moves into jaunty instrumental music)
(moves into exciting instrumental music)
- Enemy over head!
(shells whistle in the air)
Heads up, take cover, Drake!
(loud rumbling)
- Oh, oh, I can't bear to look.
- Do not lose your head, Milly, my dear.
We have nothing to fear but fear itself.
Yes, my cherie?
- [Milly] But that's
just what I'm afraid of.
Fear. (whimpers)
- [Goat] That really gets my goat.
- [Pig] Well, so much for
the dogs of war. (snorts)
- Settle down (speaks foreign language).
How can you fight in the
middle of the battle?
- [Pig] I thought that's what
we're supposed to be doing.
- [Milly] I'm going to
lie down and play dead.
Somebody wake me when it's over.
- [Boy] This is it, troops.
It's now or never.
- [Milly] Oh, I wish it was never.
- We must fight on
or our goose is cooked.
- [Pig] I'm not worried
about savin' our bacon.
- [Goat] Don't fire until you
see the whites of their ears.
- [Duck] It's eyes, my Colonel.
- [Colonel] Isn't that what I just said?
- [Milly] Eyes, ears, who cares?
- All right, troops, get ready to attack
when I give you the command.
(pig squeals)
(martial instrumental music)
Charge!
Charge!
(bullets snap)
Charge!
- [Goat] All animals everywhere.
(bullets whine)
(martial instrumental music)
(pounding and rattling)
(cock crows)
- Not again.
(sighs)
(ducks quacking)
Oh, no!
What am I gonna do?
(quacking and clucking)
- [Colonel] Oh, Josephine,
are you gonna stand there all day
eating all that rubbish?
(snorting)
- Oh, no, Colonel.
There's plenty for both of us.
Why don't you tuck in?
- Mm, I really don't want
to make a pig of myself.
- Why not?
I do it all the time.
(chuckles and snorts)
- [Colonel] Hmm, all right then.
Oh, what's this I see?
Scrambled eggs on a bed of cardboard?
Mm, my favorite.
- We're going to have to do
something about that pig.
- I think she's in on it with the goat.
- Oh my gosh, look at the time.
We've gotta get going.
I'll wake the kids
and jump in the shower.
- You better make it quick.
This is one morning we
don't wanna be late.
- [Milly] Uh oh, should I move?
Whew!
(gentle instrumental music)
(knocking)
- Come on, Shannon.
Your father and I have
gotta be in town at nine.
Come on.
Come on, sweetheart, wake up.
Wake up!
(Shannon whimpers)
- [Shannon] Mom, I was
in the middle of a dream.
(gentle instrumental music)
- You've got another
mess to clear up outside.
- Yeah, I know, that dumb pig.
- [Woman] Come on, get up.
- Why do I always have
to clean up the mess?
Why not Shannon?
- She's your pig.
- She never does anything!
- Does anything, I know.
- She doesn't!
- I don't have time for this right now.
Come on,
get dressed!
(rollicking rock music)
- Did they get any bigger?
- Get out!
Geek!
- [Woman] Stop it, you two.
(rollicking rock music)
- I put on the X-ray glasses,
and whoa!
- Give it back!
- [Boy] I'm gonna put this on Josephine!
- [Shannon] I'm gonna kill you!
Get out, Peter!
- Shannon!
Stop it!
- [Peter] I'm gonna put this on Josephine!
Here I come, Josephine!
(Milly whines)
(shattering)
Uh oh.
- Oh, look what you've done.
That's it, you're grounded.
- He started it!
- I did not!
- Quiet.
I've had enough.
You're both staying in.
- Oh, Mom!
- For a week.
Shannon, clear up that mess.
And, Peter, get the bins.
You know, your father and I
have got enough to worry about today
without having to listen
to you two arguing,
thank you very much.
- I wish you were never born!
(door slams)
(groans) I hate you!
- You love me,
don't you, Milly?
Yes, you do.
(gasps)
Josephine!
Look at this mess.
- [Josephine] I could
use a little dessert.
Banana skins, perfect!
- You know, if you keep this up,
it's the firing squad for you.
(Josephine belches)
Josephine!
- [Josephine] Beautiful.
- [Peter] Oh, you're impossible.
- [Josephine] Hey, wait,
I'm not finished yet.
- It's so unfair.
They're always on Shannon's side.
- Can't we play a little game of fetch?
Oh, please!
I'll fetch anything.
- Stop it, Milly.
I have to clean up Josephine's mess.
- A Frisbee, a stick,
the broom.
I'll even fetch the broom.
Please!
Oh, oh.
(sighs) All right.
I'm dog-tired.
I'll just lie down here
and take a little catnap.
Okay, dog nap.
(gentle instrumental music)
- Come on, get up.
Milly.
You can't resist these.
- You know, that mess isn't gonna clean
itself up, Peter.
- Are we really going to lose the farm?
- We'll see what the bank says first.
Don't worry.
Hey, come here,
give your dad a hug for luck.
- [Peter] Dad!
- I thought it was cool to hug.
- Dad.
- Come on, we're gonna be late.
- Be nice to your sister.
- She's never nice to me.
- Well, try being nice to her.
See what happens.
Bye, sweetheart.
- [Peter] Bye, Mom.
- Close the door for your mom.
- [Peter] Okay.
I'll get the gate.
- You know, he won't think any less of you
if we don't get this loan today.
You'll still be his hero.
- Is that right?
So it doesn't matter to the boy
that his dad's a failure?
- [Mom] You're not a failure.
(car rumbles)
(horn honks)
- [Peter] Let's go, Milly.
(Milly barks)
(martial instrumental music)
(police band chatters)
(moves into dramatic instrumental music)
- I wonder what's going on.
- Something important.
(dramatic instrumental music)
- Newspaper, sir.
- Good heavens!
I think we chose the wrong day
to come to the bank.
- [Dad] You're right.
They must be transferring
an awful lot of money.
Thank you.
- [Man] Ah, Patrick.
Rebecca!
Glad to see you.
- [Patrick] Fine, how 'bout you?
- Rebecca, you look wonderful.
I'm so sorry about the inconvenience.
- Oh, it's, uh, it's no trouble at all.
We're just happy that
you could take the time
to see us with, uh,
so much happening here.
- [Rebecca] What is going on?
- Well, it's a big day for us you know.
We are transferring some gold today.
Some gold bouillon.
(door rattles)
- Wow. (chuckles)
We could use some of that.
(chuckling)
- Yes, couldn't we all?
Well, eh, come to my office.
So, all is good at the farm?
Uh, you haven't eaten any
of the animals, I hope.
(chuckling)
Your daughter and your
son, they're all right?
- Oh, yes.
- Everything's fine,
thank you.
- Yes, thank you.
- [Banker] Well, would
you like a little drink?
Some coffee or something more strong,
like a brandy?
Something like that?
- [Rebecca] Uh.
- [Peter] It's okay.
- Not anything?
- No.
(rumbling and creaking)
(dramatic instrumental music)
(Shannon chuckling)
- Oh, they went to town.
Can't.
No, I'm grounded because
of my stupid brother.
Yeah, a real dork, with
his stupid comic books
and his stupid pets.
She what?
You're kidding!
He asked her out?
- Dork, huh?
I'll get her.
(dramatic instrumental music)
- I'm so sorry to tell you this, but, uh,
I have bad news.
I must call in the loan.
- Uh, well, uh,
well is it possible that maybe, uh,
you could arrange us an extension
for maybe a week or two?
- Patrick, please.
Do not make this more difficult.
My hands are tied,
there's nothing I can do.
- All, all the years
we've known each other,
you can't, I mean, you
can't take our farm.
- Isn't there anything we can do?
(phone rings)
- Yeah, yeah?
Yes, I'm coming right away.
Yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
No, I am so sorry.
Now if you will forgive me,
I am in a bit of a rush.
So.
- Well I guess we should be going.
Uh,
we don't wanna leave the children
alone for too long.
- [Rebecca] Goodbye.
- So long, thanks anyway.
(melancholic instrumental music)
Well, I guess that's that.
- With the bank, at least.
Hey, come on, we'll think of something.
Where's that fighting O'Brien spirit?
- What are we gonna tell the kids?
- The truth.
The important thing is
that we stick together.
(bluesy instrumental music)
- Nothing's happening, boss.
Nothing at all.
- It will, it will.
I told you, boys, we're
going to make history today.
5,000,000 in gold bouillon
is going to come rolling down that road,
just like that.
- Yeah, just like that. (shouts)
- Just like that.
- Yeah.
Just like that.
There's been money in
that bank since the war,
and, thanks to my acquaintances,
we have the transportational
details right here.
And a buyer to take it out of our hands
for a cool 1,000,000.
So, what do ya say, boys?
- And girls.
- Am I the greatest
or am I the greatest?
- Ah, you're the best, boss.
(boss groans)
Oh, sorry, I'm sorry.
- You're great.
And who is this buyer with a cool million?
- You don't need to know.
- I think we do.
- No, you don't.
- [Man In Drag] Oh yes, we do, boss.
- All right.
It's The Hand.
- [Short Man And Man In Drag] The Hand!
- [Boss] That's right, The Hand.
- You didn't say nothin' about The Hand.
I, I don't wanna be workin' for The Hand.
(motorcycle buzzes)
(cars rumble)
- I told you you wouldn't like it,
but you will work for whoever I tell you
you'll work for, you got it?
- Boss.
- I can take care of The Hand!
- [Short Man] Boss?
- And don't either of you forget it.
- [Short Man] Boss!
- What?
- They're coming.
(comical instrumental music)
(motorcycle whines)
(martial instrumental music)
- [Boss] Get into position.
(grunting)
Move it!
(tense instrumental music)
Move it!
(tense instrumental music)
Hide, you morons, hide!
(percussive instrumental music)
(moves into tinkling instrumental music)
(tires screech)
- What the hell happened?
(tires squeal)
(shouting)
(tires screech)
(banging)
- [Man In Drag] Yahoo!
(jagged instrumental music)
(fuse hisses)
- Oh, what's that smell?
(chuckling)
It's laughing gas! (laughs)
(laughing and gagging)
Are you all right?
- Yes, it's (laughs) just a bump.
(laughing)
- [Boss] Hurry now!
(light instrumental music)
Hurry up!
(laughing)
(engine grinds)
(truck rumbles)
(laughing)
- They're stealin' the gold.
- I know!
They got away.
(laughing)
(tires screech)
(coughing)
- The gold's been stolen.
By a gang.
Two men and an extremely ugly woman.
(engine revs)
(chuckling)
(engine revs)
- What the hell are you doin'?
- I've smudged me lipstick.
(laughing)
Ow!
Ow.
- Boss!
Boss!
(engines rev)
(tires squeal)
(engines rev)
(thumping)
- [Short Man] Ow.
(engines rev)
(police band chatters)
- [Cop] Whoever these criminals are,
one thing's for sure,
they're highly trained professionals.
- Where the hell are we?
- [Man In Drag] Ow, ow.
- Show us where we are.
- Here.
- Idiot!
(engines rev)
(sirens wail)
- Go left, go left.
(tires screech)
At the next left.
- Ya bloody moron!
(engines rev)
- Huh?
- Uh oh.
(engines rev)
(shouting)
(tires screech)
(sighing)
(engines rev)
Get off each other!
Look at your map!
(engines rev)
(horn honks)
- [Driver] See ya later.
(jagged instrumental music)
- Take the next left, boss.
That'll bring us to the main road.
- This is the main road!
- Is it, oh.
(engines rev)
(sirens wail)
(jagged instrumental music)
(engines rev)
(sirens wail)
(tense instrumental music)
- Boss.
Boss!
- What?
- Look.
- Oh, brace yourselves, boys.
This is going to get a little tough.
(screaming)
(tires screech)
(sirens wail)
(engine revs)
- Yahoo!
Three cheers!
- That's why I'm the boss, boys.
- Give us five!
Right, yeah!
(groaning)
- Ya bloody moron!
- I'm sorry, boss, I'm sorry.
- Get that nancy's frock off.
(chuckling)
- [Josephine] Oh, I love the smell
of garbage in the morning.
- Mm, and where do you think
you're going, Josephine?
Didn't I instruct you
to remain at your post?
- There are some delicious
lookin' berries up the road.
You know, just a little
snack before brunch.
- A berry good idea.
I mean, uh, a very good idea.
Why don't I come with you?
Carry on, soldier.
- Yes, sir!
- [Boss] Move over, you idiots!
Get off me.
- [Short Man] What are you doin'?
What the hell are you doin'?
Get off!
(tires screech)
(horn blares)
(tires screech)
- Oh, humans.
If they're not hogging the road,
they're driving like animals.
(engine revs)
(ducks quack)
- Ah, my cherie amour,
this is your lucky day.
The duck of your dreams is approaching.
- [Boss] Get off!
(engine revs)
- [Short Man] Look where you're goin'!
(engine revs)
(duck speaks foreign language)
- What is a beautiful bird like you
doing in a dump like this.
- [Duck In Water] Oh, thank you, kind sir.
- Come, fly with me.
Me, Francois, the greatest
lover in all France.
We were made for each other.
- [Duck In Water] Oh, dear.
Duck!
(shouting)
Get off my tail, you idiot!
Let me go!
This is very bad.
(screaming)
(booming crash)
Ooh la la.
(speaking foreign language)
- Get off!
Get it off me.
Get off!
- Boss, boss, the water's coming in.
(grunting)
- [Francois] My cherie, my cherie,
where are you, my little duckling?
Answer me.
(speaking foreign language)
- Make my dinner, duck.
- [Francois] You crazy fool.
We were in love!
(shouting)
- It's all lake.
(grunting and groaning)
- Ooh, it's cold.
Good thing I'm not wearing me high heels.
- You stay in the truck.
Me and Hyper will push.
(comical instrumental music)
- Ready.
- Try the engine again.
(engine grinds)
- Still won't start.
- [Boss] Make sure it's not in gear,
and we'll push.
- [Short Man] Right.
Ooh, boss.
We're sinkin' into the mud, boss.
I can't swim.
(comical instrumental music)
- Truck stuck in the mud, boss.
- Really?
You are an absolute genius!
- Cops will be crawlin'
all over the place soon.
- What are we gonna do, boss?
- We're going to get this truck
out of the river, you idiot.
- What about that farmhouse we passed?
They might have a tractor.
- A bright idea at last.
And you, you look a mess!
Get them boobies off.
(comical instrumental music)
(moves into droning ambient music)
- [Francois] Peter!
Come quickly!
Peter!
- There.
- [Francois] Crazy men with guns
in the barn, Peter!
Little boy, help.
They are coming this way.
Are you deaf or what?
Help, guns.
Men.
Police!
(knocking)
(bluesy rock music)
- They must be home,
listen to that racket.
(quacking)
- Inspector!
Yes, help, police,
we are in great danger!
Yes, men with guns, big guns in the car,
pointing, uh, hurry, please, please.
Over there!
Over there!
Inspector!
What is the matter with you, or you deaf?
This way, Inspector.
Don't just stand there.
Emergency!
I'm talking about life or death.
- I think he fancies you.
(quacking)
- What?
Your assumption is
incorrect, Madam Inspector.
I am merely trying to catch his attention.
Help!
Police!
Police.
Come with me.
Come with me.
What are you, deaf?
- Hello.
- Hello, Shannon.
Are your parents in?
- They went into town.
- Oh.
Have you seen any suspicious
characters around?
Uh, any unusual activity?
- Francois, stop it!
- [Francois] You don't speak French,
but I'm talking to you clearly.
Stop it, get off!
- Sorry, he thinks he's
a guard dog.
- You stop!
- I haven't seen anybody today.
Why?
- Well, be on the lookout
for three highly dangerous men.
They robbed an armored truck.
If you, um, see anything, give us a call.
- Okay, cool.
- The main road's all backed up,
so don't worry if your parents are late.
They're probably just stuck in traffic.
- [Shannon] I won't.
- [Francois] Help, police!
Help!
Wait, where are you going?
Wait for me.
(speaking in foreign language)
Are you hearing me?
Ah, man!
Do your duty!
Cowards!
Come back here immediately.
I will report you to your superiors
if you are not listening to me.
Where are you going?
You fools!
(sinister instrumental music)
(gasping)
(sinister instrumental music)
- Go find a heavy chain.
Mick, check the tractor.
- [Mick] Right, boss.
(thumping)
- Very well, monsieur.
You leave me no option.
I'm going to call in the troops.
Help!
(fizzing)
- Dork, huh? (chuckles)
(Shannon groans)
- [Shannon] Yuck!
Peter, you little, Peter!
You got it in my food.
(muffled shouting)
(thudding)
(grunting)
(quacking)
Oops, sorry.
- Sorry?
Oh, no. (chuckles)
I'm sorry.
Our truck's broken down.
We, I need to borrow your phone.
- You'll have to wait
til my dad comes home
and ask him.
- I am in a bit of a rush.
- I'm not supposed to let strangers in
when he's out.
- I'm sure he won't mind.
- Oh, I think he would.
- No, he wouldn't.
- Yes, he would.
- Wouldn't.
- Would!
- Wouldn't.
- Would!
- Give me that phone right now.
- I'll call the police.
- [Boss] I wouldn't do that!
(shouting and grunting)
- [Peter] Let me go, let me go!
- [Mick] Stop shoving!
- Get up!
- Get after her!
Not both of ya!
- [Shannon] No, stay away from me!
- [Mick] Yeah, you're the boss.
- [Shannon] Get out of my house.
- Start catchin', you idiot!
(shouting and grunting)
- [Shannon] Let me go!
- [Boss] Give me that phone!
- No, now listen.
(thudding)
Ow!
- [Peter] Take that!
- [Boss] Come on!
(thudding)
(crashing)
- [Shannon] Stay away from him.
- [Peter] Let me go, let me go!
- Quiet, quiet!
Quiet!
Thank you.
- He hurt me.
- Quiet.
- Sorry.
- [Boss] Tie 'em up.
(sad instrumental music)
- [Colonel] All right, troops, fall in.
Huddle up.
Go to it now.
- You heard the Colonel, gather 'round.
We do not have much time.
(martial instrumental music)
Fall in!
(speaks foreign language)
We've reached the moment of truth.
Some of us may not return.
- [Milly] Oh, no.
- I'm afraid so, Milly.
But this is for Peter and Shannon.
- We are their only hope,
their best friends.
Are we together in this?
- All for one and one for all.
- [Colonel And Francois] All for one
and one for all.
- All right, let's do it.
We're goin' in.
- If you'd given me the phone,
we could've avoided all this.
- What do you want?
- They robbed the bank.
- Fine, we robbed the bank.
And nobody's gonna get in our way.
Capiche?
- You're never gonna get away with this.
- I don't reckon so, little squirt.
You be a good little boy,
and I won't stand on these.
(chuckling)
Got it?
- Higher, higher.
Up a little.
- [Colonel] Easy on my back, old boy.
- [Francois] Can I help
it if I have webbed feet?
- Never mind that.
Can you see Peter and Shannon?
- Come along, old chap.
We need a full report.
- [Boss] Right, you two--
- [Francois] I can see them.
They seem to be okay.
- [Josephine] That's good.
- [Francois] But they are all tied up.
- [Josephine] That's bad.
- You can untie the ropes with your beak.
- [Josephine] That's good.
- But I cannot fit through the window.
- You can go in through the hatch.
- That, that's good.
- But they have a gun. (snorts)
- Oh, dear, that's very bad.
Very, very bad, indeed.
- But they are humans. (snorts)
We're smarter than them.
- That's good.
If we can get them alone,
one by one,
we may stand a chance.
(Milly gulps)
- Yeah, uh, yes, sir.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes, sir.
Hey, yes, yes, sir.
Definitely, sir, definitely, sir.
No, sir.
- What did he say, boss?
- He's comin' here to fetch the gold.
- The Hand is comin' here?
- I can handle him, don't worry.
Guard 'em, Mick.
- Me, boss?
- Come on, Hyper.
Don't touch anything!
- But, but, boss.
(shattering)
- Don't touch anything.
(Milly panting)
- [Francois] We must be brave.
This could be our chance.
- [Boss] Get off, guard the door!
- He's got a nasty gun.
I hope the children are safe.
- There is only one way to find out.
Sound the battle cry.
- Oh, the, the battle cry?
Oh, dear.
(tractor rumbles)
- These men are ruthless.
(Milly whimpers)
(tractor rumbles)
- Have you got the chain?
- [Hyper] Yeah.
(Hyper shouts)
- Now listen closely, troops.
Milly, sentry duty.
- [Milly] What's a sentry?
- All you have to do is keep watch
until they return.
Got it?
- [Milly] Is that all?
All right.
- What a chicken.
(chickens cluck)
Oops, I beg your pardon, monsieur.
- Josephine, a special assignment.
I am sending you deep
into enemy territory.
- I won't let you down, Colonel.
I promise.
- That's the spirit, old girl.
Chickens.
You're under her command.
- Sir, yes, sir!
- Good luck, men.
Uh, I mean poultry.
- Move out.
(jaunty instrumental music)
- Wait, what about me?
What do I do on this mission?
- You, sir, are my chief
of special intelligence.
- Me?
Intelligence?
A brilliant decision, my colonel.
You will not regret this, I swear.
(jaunty instrumental music)
(Hyper groans)
- [Hyper] Oh, wait, boss, boss!
Wait for me, wait!
♫ I don't know what I been told
♫ I don't know what I been told
♫ Chicken troops are good as gold
♫ Chicken troops are good as gold
♫ One, two, three, four
♫ Chicken troops are good as gold
- Yeah, I'll have one of them.
And them.
And.
(chickens clucking)
I say, do you allow chickens in the house?
- What's he mean?
- Help me, quick!
- Give me a break, dork.
- Just help me, phone brain.
- Don't ya just love it?
(chickens clucking)
(Josephine grunts)
What the?
- [Josephine] Is that
cottage cheese I smell?
- No.
- [Josephine] It is cottage cheese!
- No!
- [Josephine] Oh boy, I'm famished.
- What was that?
- No!
- Here, gimme some of that.
- No!
(Mick groans)
Ah, go away!
- Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to do that.
Here, let me clean it off your face.
Oh, steady now.
This won't take long.
Just a few little licks.
Couldn't you have grabbed pepper?
- Please don't clean me nose!
(Josephine grunts)
(Mick grunts)
- [Josephine] Hey, wait,
where are you going?
- Get away from me.
(Mick grunts)
- You know?
I should leave you.
- You just try it.
- You're a prisoner of war.
Read him his rights, Major.
- Help!
- [Francois] You have the right to remain.
- The blighter's escaped.
Quickly, Josephine, after him.
Hurry!
- [Josephine] Hey, will you come back now?
Where are you going?
What's the matter with ya?
Oh, please.
Just a few more licks.
I'm famished.
(grunting and moaning)
Whee!
(chaotic instrumental music)
- Help me!
(chaotic instrumental music)
- [Colonel] This is most irregular.
(chaotic instrumental music)
(Mick grunting)
- Keep still.
I said keep still.
- Keep that pig away.
Don't you let her eat me.
- [Peter] I said keep still.
- Stop wiggling, you little worm.
Now what?
That Hand guy's coming, remember?
(Mick grunts)
- Shut up.
- Shut up.
We have to stop them.
- No!
- We can't just let them take the gold.
- It's too dangerous.
We'll call the police.
- Can't, they took the phone, remember?
Ah, okay, listen carefully.
I've got a plan.
- [Francois] Shh, they have a plan.
(Mick grunts)
(chain bangs)
- Hurry up.
- [Peter] It's gotta be in here somewhere.
- [Francois] Hey, watch out!
- [Josephine] I don't like guns.
(jaunty instrumental music)
- [Francois] Ooh la la.
- Aha.
- [Colonel] Now that's what I call a gun.
(gun booms)
- Great, this will do.
Come on, troops.
(jaunty instrumental music)
- Perfect, we'll need a lot.
- You ready?
Put it on the towage!
Well done.
(jaunty instrumental music)
(tractor rumbles)
(comical instrumental music)
(clucking)
- [Peter] Come on!
(jaunty instrumental music)
- [Hyper] Keep going.
Yes, yes!
(comical instrumental music)
(clucking)
(whirring and springing)
- Good work, chickens.
Ready.
- [Peter] Okay.
(quiet instrumental music)
Perfect.
(tractor grinds and rumbles)
- Why?
Why?
Why?
- Why?
- Why what?
- Why don't we get a tow truck?
- Because we've just robbed
a ruddy bank, you idiot.
- Tractor, please, tractor, please.
Try it again now, boss.
(tractor rumbles)
(jaunty instrumental music)
Come on, keep going, keep going.
Yes, yes, yes!
Yes, yes!
(Hyper laughs)
(jaunty instrumental music)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
(percussive instrumental music)
(moves into quietly dramatic music)
- It's still engaged.
- Oh, Shannon.
She spends more time on
that phone in one day
than I do in an entire year.
We may as well order something, huh?
That traffic certainly
isn't going anywhere.
- I just hope they're not fighting again.
- Oh, I'm sure they're fine.
- What are you having?
- Something cheap.
I've messed up, haven't I?
I really let you down.
- You haven't let us down.
- Yes, I have.
I gave up a nice, safe,
pensionable career.
- Which you hated.
- Yes, to buy a farm out
in the middle of nowhere.
- Which we love.
- Which we may lose.
- We knew it was going to be hard.
- Not this hard.
But,
I guess we have been
happy, though, haven't we?
- Very happy, all of us.
You went after your dream, Pat.
Not many men can say that they did that.
- Thanks.
I thank you
for being here,
for supporting me, for backing me.
But we will start again, I promise.
We're not going to give up.
We did the right thing,
moving here when we did.
And if I can't teach our kids
how to be financial wizards,
I guess, um,
maybe I can teach them how to dream.
Or right from wrong.
Or maybe about courage.
- Just get Peter to teach that pig
some table manners.
All right?
That's the only kind of teaching
I'm interested in.
- All right.
(Mick grunts)
- Shh!
(quiet, percussive instrumental music)
(Mick grunts)
(jaunty instrumental music)
- [Milly] It's them, it's the bad guys!
Help!
Somebody, help!
They're back! (barks)
They're coming.
- This is it, troops.
It's war.
- [Colonel] Battle stations, troops.
- Prepare to repel the enemy.
(quietly dramatic instrumental music)
- [Josephine] Oh, no.
- Yes, yes, yes, we are rich, we are rich!
- Where ya going?
- Just going to have a peek.
- [Boss] No ya don't!
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
- Had you been a twin,
the pair of you would've been thicker
than two short planks.
- Sorry, boss.
Boss, boss.
Allow me.
(Mick grunts)
- Shh!
(Mick grunts)
(electrical buzzing)
- Ah well, one short plank.
(Mick grunts)
What the?
(pan thunks)
(angelic choral singing)
- This way, quickly.
Come look.
Peter, in here.
In here.
- Wow!
(Mick grunts)
(electrical buzzing)
(Mick grunts)
(jaunty instrumental music)
(Mick grunts)
(pan thunks)
- [Boss] Quick!
(grunting)
- [Milly] Emergency meeting, hurry up!
Wow, look at all that butter.
- [Peter] It's gold, Milly.
- [Milly] I knew that.
- [Josephine] Gold, where's the gold?
- This way, my friends.
- [Colonel] All right, troops, fall in.
- Get ready, Josephine,
and you, too, Colonel.
(Shannon screams)
- [Shannon] No!
- We must hurry, they've got Shannon.
- I am at your service, my general.
What do you wish me to do?
- Go get help, Francois.
We need Mom and Dad.
- Have no fear, Francois
will save the day.
- [Colonel] Cleared for takeoff.
(jaunty instrumental music)
(shouting)
- [Shannon] No!
- [Boss] Get in!
- [Shannon] Let me out!
You'll be sorry!
I'm a teenager.
You're making a big mistake, mister.
- This is Major Francois
to Ground Control.
Intelligence mission proceeding smoothly.
I am making my way over territory.
No sign of subject as yet.
Hmm, what's that?
(quacking)
I see something.
(percussive instrumental music)
(speaking in foreign language)
- Okay, boss,
Hyper thinks things
are going really great,
don't ya, mate?
- Where's the other little runt?
- Uh.
I couldn't catch him, boss.
He's too quick for me.
But things could be a lot worse, though.
Couldn't they, boss?
- I am through playing games.
We get the gold,
and we get out of here.
And if anyone messes it up,
anyone,
I will personally
pound 'em into pulp.
Do I make meself clear?
(Mick chuckles)
- [Francois] There it is.
Patrick's vehicle spotted.
Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm making my descent.
Stand by.
(thudding)
(quacking)
The duck has landed. (quacks)
(quacking)
(comical instrumental music)
- Francois?
- [Francois] Oui!
It is I.
You must come quickly.
Your children are in danger,
great danger.
- What is he doing here?
- Please, there's no time to waste.
You must come with me now.
- [Patrick] What on earth?
Let go of me, you stupid duck.
- What's the matter?
You don't understand my English?
(speaking foreign language)
- I've got a bad feeling about this.
I think, um,
I think we should be going.
I mean, the traffic's
probably cleared up by now.
(quacking)
Come on.
Come on, come on.
(quacking)
- [Francois] Do not worry.
Just put it on my bill.
(quacking)
(comical instrumental music)
- Wait!
Wait!
- Just a moment.
- There's trouble at our farm.
- [Cop] We'll follow you.
(siren wails)
(cock crows)
- [Boss] Let me get
this straight, comrade.
- It's a car, boss.
Boss?
- If you don't want to get
caught, don't leave clues.
- Boss, it's a car.
(tense instrumental music)
It's The Hand!
- The Hand?
(tense instrumental music)
(Colonel bleats)
(Peter gasps)
(tense instrumental music)
- I know it's The Hand,
you lanky piece of camel dung.
Right.
Let's fetch the gold,
and get out of here.
Out of here!
- Ow!
- You understand?
- Yes, boss.
- [Shannon] Hey, let me out of here!
(banging)
Stop!
What's going on?
Come on, open the door!
What is going on out there?
(pounding)
- Uh oh.
They're coming.
Stay here.
(clucking)
(jaunty instrumental music)
- What a pleasure to
see you, Mr. Hand, sir.
Well it's all here, sir.
Every last bar.
If you'd like to take a look, sir.
Oh, it, uh, it didn't get damaged
in the crash, sir.
In fact, you could say that, uh,
it's as, uh, good as new.
(percussive instrumental music)
- Little joke, yeah? (laughs)
Joke?
(laughing)
It's a joke.
It's not so amusing,
because the joke is on me, huh?
Where is the gold, hmm?
(comical instrumental music)
- Peter!
Peter, I'm in here!
(percussive instrumental music)
Where is the gold?
Where's the gold?
Where is the gold?
Where is the gold?
Where is the gold?
(hand whirs)
(pounding)
(crashing)
- Peter!
- Hey, you, you're supposed
to be in the cubbard.
(Hyper groans)
- Mr. Von Steiger, these
men stole your gold.
They stole all your gold.
- I think there was a
little mistake. (chuckles)
- No!
They tied us up and stole all the gold.
- No, no.
Where is the gold then?
- Well isn't it in the truck?
- No, it's not in the truck.
Where is the gold.
- My God.
You're The Hand.
- Where is the gold?
- Shannon, run!
- Stop her!
(gun booms)
(shouting)
Stop!
(gun booms)
(eggs thud)
- Ow!
(laughing)
(gun booms)
- [Boss] Stop it!
(gun booms)
(shouting and grunting)
(Shannon whimpers)
- Oh no, out of ammunition.
- Do you know where the gold is?
Yes you do, yes you do.
I want my gold and I want it now!
(Milly growls)
(groaning)
- [Mick] Are you okay, boss?
(Milly growls)
(The Hand barks)
(Milly whimpers)
(The Hand chuckles)
- You have nice hair.
You wanna keep it?
Show me where the gold is.
Is it up there?
- Ow!
- Perhaps over there?
- I don't know!
- Huh?
Why don't you show me?
- [Hyper] Let me help you.
- Get off!
Where's me gun?
- [The Hand] You tell me where it is.
- [Shannon] I don't know!
- Such great beauty.
It would be a shame to destroy
such great beauty.
Where is the gold?
- I don't know.
- I know.
You like games?
I like games.
You lose.
Where's the gold?
- I don't know!
- I'm getting very angry.
I do not like to get angry.
I'm not a nice person when I'm angry.
Even my mother doesn't like me
when I'm angry.
Ah, my neck is getting stiff,
and my hand is starting to tingle.
Where is the gold?
You wanna hang up here
like a piece of meat?
I can arrange it.
Where is the gold?
Huh?
Is it up there?
Now what?
(grinding and rumbling)
- [Hyper] Boss, it's the army.
- Don't be an imbecile.
It's only a pile of scrap.
- It's the kid.
- That's General to you, sir.
(gun grinds)
Fire!
(gun booms)
(Hyper groans)
- Wow!
- [Colonel] Hold your fire.
- [Josephine] Standin' by. (snorts)
- You'll now surrender.
- You must be joking.
- Two degrees left, Lieutenant.
- [Josephine] Yes, sir.
(gun grinds)
(gun cocks)
(hand whirs)
(metal squeals)
(fleshy thunk)
(groaning)
Trajectory three degrees right.
- Mr. Von Steiger,
don't you think it would
be better to negotiate?
- Don't be stupid.
Stay where you are!
- This is your last chance.
Surrender!
(The Hand laughs)
- Enough of this nonsense.
I want my gold!
- Fire!
(booming)
(shouting)
(birds tweet)
- [Josephine] Ready to fire.
- Oh, my hair, look at my hair.
- Fire!
(booming)
(groaning)
- Enough of this nonsense.
- [Colonel] Trajectory five degrees left.
(gun whines)
- [Josephine] Trajectory
five degrees left.
- Peter!
- Where is the gold?
Hmm?
You're getting me angry, kid.
I don't want to get angry.
Hmm?
I mean it.
You heard me.
The dame will wear wigs
for the rest of her life.
- [Shannon] Ow!
- You heard me, kid.
I'm going to count to 10.
One, nine, 10.
I will wring her scrawny little neck.
Where is the gold?
- Stay here.
- Yes, sir.
- Yes, sir. (snorts)
(tense instrumental music)
What's goin' on out there?
Have we surrendered? (snorts)
- We may have lost the battle,
but the war will continue.
- Get in the car.
Get out of my way.
You will get in the car here.
- [Shannon] Let go.
- [The Hand] Get in the car.
- [Shannon] Ow!
- [The Hand] Get in the car!
- Let me out!
- [The Hand] And stay there!
- No!
Let me out!
(tense instrumental music)
- [Mick] Oh, it got me neck.
- [Colonel] All right,
Josephine, let's go.
- But Peter told us to stay.
- [Colonel] All for one and one for all.
- Where is the gold?
Where is it?
Where is the gold?
- No, no, it's in the truck.
- He's lying!
- He's lying!
- [Peter] Let me go!
- [The Hand] You lie, and
I'll pull your neck out
like a little giraffe.
- Let us go!
Let us go.
- Come on, jump to it now.
(Josephine snorts)
- You little animal.
I'm gonna pop your eyes out.
Get up.
No sniveling, no whimpering.
You better not be lying!
- [Hyper] There's nothin' here, boss.
- Oh, this is getting so boring.
I'm gonna have to pop your eyes out.
- Get the keys.
Get the keys, Colonel, come on.
Put them in your mouth.
- [Colonel] Hmm, this could be tricky.
- [Shannon] Colonel, come
on, Colonel, you can do it.
- [Colonel] Yes, I'm trying my best.
- Quickly, Colonel.
Come on, come on.
Put them in your mouth.
- That crafty little worm.
- Boss, Mr. Hand, sir,
the gold is here.
- How?
- Good boy.
- Got ya.
- Good boy.
- It's all mine!
- Not all!
- All right, my boy, you did your job.
Load it in the car.
- [Boss] The goat!
- Colonel!
- Run, Colonel, run!
- All animals everywhere.
- Drop it!
- That crafty little.
- Stay where you are kid,
and no one will get hurt.
- Please, don't hurt him.
- Then tell him to drop the key.
(Milly whimpers)
(siren wails)
Shoot it now, they're coming!
- No!
Colonel, it's not worth it!
Drop them.
- Do it now!
- No!
- [Milly] I'll show them.
I don't have to bark.
- Boss, look out!
- [Milly] I can bite.
(gun booms)
(Milly whimpers)
- Oh, Milly.
- No, Milly!
- Oh, Milly, Milly.
It's all my fault.
- You mustn't blame yourself, Colonel.
(Peter cries)
- You killed her!
- I didn't mean to.
- Get a grip, it's only a dog.
You, Hyper person, get the girl,
and load in the gold, now!
- I'll do it.
- Shut up!
(gentle instrumental music)
- Yes, boss.
- I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to kill her.
No one was supposed to get hurt.
- Just stay away!
- Get out!
Just take your stupid gold and go!
- Finally, some sense.
- [Francois] Bombs away!
(Boss groans)
(jaunty instrumental music)
Ready or not, here I come.
Attack!
(quacking)
(Peter shouts)
- [Shannon] Peter!
(Peter screams)
(grunting)
- [Colonel] Excuse me for butting in.
- That goat is biting me.
Stop, stop!
(siren wails)
- [Colonel] Hmm, and where
do you think you're going?
- Arrest me, arrest me!
- [Patrick] You all right?
What happened?
- They shot Milly.
- [The Hand] Please, no, no!
No, no, no, stop, leave me alone.
I, I can talk to the animals.
I can talk to the animals.
- No one was supposed to get hurt.
- That's what guns do.
They hurt people.
- Yeah, some of my best
friends are ducks. (quacks)
My, my mother's middle name is Mallard.
And my brothers.
You wanna see me goosestep? (chuckles)
(groaning)
♫ Nothing good arrives
♫ In a black Mercedes Benz
♫ Stealing all your presents
Will anyone help me?
- Milly.
Milly.
- You must be brave, Peter.
- She gave her life to save ours.
- She was a good friend
and a true soldier.
- [Milly] And a hero.
Don't forget the hero part.
- Milly, you're alive!
She's alive!
- [Francois] Ooh la la.
- [Josephine] Oh, good heavens.
(gentle instrumental music)
- Milly.
Milly.
You little faker.
- She's alive.
She's alive!
- Well it looks like you did pretty good.
I guess you take after your mom.
I'm proud of you.
- It was all Peter.
He did everything.
He was great, Dad.
- What were you just saying about courage?
(quiet instrumental music)
(cock crows)
- And for bravery above and
beyond the call of duty,
for putting her friend's
life before her own,
we award our highest honor
to Milly.
(jaunty instrumental music)
You found your voice
in the hour of danger.
(barking)
- Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
- And thanks to the reward money,
none of us ever have to worry again.
- Jolly good show.
Well done, my brave friends.
It's been an honor serving with you all.
- Ladies, ladies,
I'm back from the front.
I am a hero.
Look at my medal.
The brave warrior returns.
- Oh no, not him again.
- The absolute worst.
He's French.
They think they're the
world's greatest lovers.
- Let's just ignore him.
- Good idea.
- Good day, ladies.
- Oh, no.
- How are we all doin' today?
Name's Bruce.
I just flew in from Australia,
and, boy, are my wings tired.
Mind if I join you lovely Sheilas?
Put another shrimp on the barbie.
I'm comin' in.
(quacking)
By the way,
did I mention that I'm also half Spanish?
Ole, ole!
(speaking foreign language)
Permit me to introduce myself.
I'm Don Juan Jose
Antonio Geraldo de Marco,
the third.
No, wait a second.
I made a mistake.
That's Count Don Juan Jose
Antonio Geraldo de Marco.
(quacking)
(percussive instrumental music)
(Multicom Jingle)
(intense instrumental music)
(artillery whistles)
(martial instrumental music)
(moves into jaunty instrumental music)
(moves into exciting instrumental music)
- Enemy over head!
(shells whistle in the air)
Heads up, take cover, Drake!
(loud rumbling)
- Oh, oh, I can't bear to look.
- Do not lose your head, Milly, my dear.
We have nothing to fear but fear itself.
Yes, my cherie?
- [Milly] But that's
just what I'm afraid of.
Fear. (whimpers)
- [Goat] That really gets my goat.
- [Pig] Well, so much for
the dogs of war. (snorts)
- Settle down (speaks foreign language).
How can you fight in the
middle of the battle?
- [Pig] I thought that's what
we're supposed to be doing.
- [Milly] I'm going to
lie down and play dead.
Somebody wake me when it's over.
- [Boy] This is it, troops.
It's now or never.
- [Milly] Oh, I wish it was never.
- We must fight on
or our goose is cooked.
- [Pig] I'm not worried
about savin' our bacon.
- [Goat] Don't fire until you
see the whites of their ears.
- [Duck] It's eyes, my Colonel.
- [Colonel] Isn't that what I just said?
- [Milly] Eyes, ears, who cares?
- All right, troops, get ready to attack
when I give you the command.
(pig squeals)
(martial instrumental music)
Charge!
Charge!
(bullets snap)
Charge!
- [Goat] All animals everywhere.
(bullets whine)
(martial instrumental music)
(pounding and rattling)
(cock crows)
- Not again.
(sighs)
(ducks quacking)
Oh, no!
What am I gonna do?
(quacking and clucking)
- [Colonel] Oh, Josephine,
are you gonna stand there all day
eating all that rubbish?
(snorting)
- Oh, no, Colonel.
There's plenty for both of us.
Why don't you tuck in?
- Mm, I really don't want
to make a pig of myself.
- Why not?
I do it all the time.
(chuckles and snorts)
- [Colonel] Hmm, all right then.
Oh, what's this I see?
Scrambled eggs on a bed of cardboard?
Mm, my favorite.
- We're going to have to do
something about that pig.
- I think she's in on it with the goat.
- Oh my gosh, look at the time.
We've gotta get going.
I'll wake the kids
and jump in the shower.
- You better make it quick.
This is one morning we
don't wanna be late.
- [Milly] Uh oh, should I move?
Whew!
(gentle instrumental music)
(knocking)
- Come on, Shannon.
Your father and I have
gotta be in town at nine.
Come on.
Come on, sweetheart, wake up.
Wake up!
(Shannon whimpers)
- [Shannon] Mom, I was
in the middle of a dream.
(gentle instrumental music)
- You've got another
mess to clear up outside.
- Yeah, I know, that dumb pig.
- [Woman] Come on, get up.
- Why do I always have
to clean up the mess?
Why not Shannon?
- She's your pig.
- She never does anything!
- Does anything, I know.
- She doesn't!
- I don't have time for this right now.
Come on,
get dressed!
(rollicking rock music)
- Did they get any bigger?
- Get out!
Geek!
- [Woman] Stop it, you two.
(rollicking rock music)
- I put on the X-ray glasses,
and whoa!
- Give it back!
- [Boy] I'm gonna put this on Josephine!
- [Shannon] I'm gonna kill you!
Get out, Peter!
- Shannon!
Stop it!
- [Peter] I'm gonna put this on Josephine!
Here I come, Josephine!
(Milly whines)
(shattering)
Uh oh.
- Oh, look what you've done.
That's it, you're grounded.
- He started it!
- I did not!
- Quiet.
I've had enough.
You're both staying in.
- Oh, Mom!
- For a week.
Shannon, clear up that mess.
And, Peter, get the bins.
You know, your father and I
have got enough to worry about today
without having to listen
to you two arguing,
thank you very much.
- I wish you were never born!
(door slams)
(groans) I hate you!
- You love me,
don't you, Milly?
Yes, you do.
(gasps)
Josephine!
Look at this mess.
- [Josephine] I could
use a little dessert.
Banana skins, perfect!
- You know, if you keep this up,
it's the firing squad for you.
(Josephine belches)
Josephine!
- [Josephine] Beautiful.
- [Peter] Oh, you're impossible.
- [Josephine] Hey, wait,
I'm not finished yet.
- It's so unfair.
They're always on Shannon's side.
- Can't we play a little game of fetch?
Oh, please!
I'll fetch anything.
- Stop it, Milly.
I have to clean up Josephine's mess.
- A Frisbee, a stick,
the broom.
I'll even fetch the broom.
Please!
Oh, oh.
(sighs) All right.
I'm dog-tired.
I'll just lie down here
and take a little catnap.
Okay, dog nap.
(gentle instrumental music)
- Come on, get up.
Milly.
You can't resist these.
- You know, that mess isn't gonna clean
itself up, Peter.
- Are we really going to lose the farm?
- We'll see what the bank says first.
Don't worry.
Hey, come here,
give your dad a hug for luck.
- [Peter] Dad!
- I thought it was cool to hug.
- Dad.
- Come on, we're gonna be late.
- Be nice to your sister.
- She's never nice to me.
- Well, try being nice to her.
See what happens.
Bye, sweetheart.
- [Peter] Bye, Mom.
- Close the door for your mom.
- [Peter] Okay.
I'll get the gate.
- You know, he won't think any less of you
if we don't get this loan today.
You'll still be his hero.
- Is that right?
So it doesn't matter to the boy
that his dad's a failure?
- [Mom] You're not a failure.
(car rumbles)
(horn honks)
- [Peter] Let's go, Milly.
(Milly barks)
(martial instrumental music)
(police band chatters)
(moves into dramatic instrumental music)
- I wonder what's going on.
- Something important.
(dramatic instrumental music)
- Newspaper, sir.
- Good heavens!
I think we chose the wrong day
to come to the bank.
- [Dad] You're right.
They must be transferring
an awful lot of money.
Thank you.
- [Man] Ah, Patrick.
Rebecca!
Glad to see you.
- [Patrick] Fine, how 'bout you?
- Rebecca, you look wonderful.
I'm so sorry about the inconvenience.
- Oh, it's, uh, it's no trouble at all.
We're just happy that
you could take the time
to see us with, uh,
so much happening here.
- [Rebecca] What is going on?
- Well, it's a big day for us you know.
We are transferring some gold today.
Some gold bouillon.
(door rattles)
- Wow. (chuckles)
We could use some of that.
(chuckling)
- Yes, couldn't we all?
Well, eh, come to my office.
So, all is good at the farm?
Uh, you haven't eaten any
of the animals, I hope.
(chuckling)
Your daughter and your
son, they're all right?
- Oh, yes.
- Everything's fine,
thank you.
- Yes, thank you.
- [Banker] Well, would
you like a little drink?
Some coffee or something more strong,
like a brandy?
Something like that?
- [Rebecca] Uh.
- [Peter] It's okay.
- Not anything?
- No.
(rumbling and creaking)
(dramatic instrumental music)
(Shannon chuckling)
- Oh, they went to town.
Can't.
No, I'm grounded because
of my stupid brother.
Yeah, a real dork, with
his stupid comic books
and his stupid pets.
She what?
You're kidding!
He asked her out?
- Dork, huh?
I'll get her.
(dramatic instrumental music)
- I'm so sorry to tell you this, but, uh,
I have bad news.
I must call in the loan.
- Uh, well, uh,
well is it possible that maybe, uh,
you could arrange us an extension
for maybe a week or two?
- Patrick, please.
Do not make this more difficult.
My hands are tied,
there's nothing I can do.
- All, all the years
we've known each other,
you can't, I mean, you
can't take our farm.
- Isn't there anything we can do?
(phone rings)
- Yeah, yeah?
Yes, I'm coming right away.
Yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
No, I am so sorry.
Now if you will forgive me,
I am in a bit of a rush.
So.
- Well I guess we should be going.
Uh,
we don't wanna leave the children
alone for too long.
- [Rebecca] Goodbye.
- So long, thanks anyway.
(melancholic instrumental music)
Well, I guess that's that.
- With the bank, at least.
Hey, come on, we'll think of something.
Where's that fighting O'Brien spirit?
- What are we gonna tell the kids?
- The truth.
The important thing is
that we stick together.
(bluesy instrumental music)
- Nothing's happening, boss.
Nothing at all.
- It will, it will.
I told you, boys, we're
going to make history today.
5,000,000 in gold bouillon
is going to come rolling down that road,
just like that.
- Yeah, just like that. (shouts)
- Just like that.
- Yeah.
Just like that.
There's been money in
that bank since the war,
and, thanks to my acquaintances,
we have the transportational
details right here.
And a buyer to take it out of our hands
for a cool 1,000,000.
So, what do ya say, boys?
- And girls.
- Am I the greatest
or am I the greatest?
- Ah, you're the best, boss.
(boss groans)
Oh, sorry, I'm sorry.
- You're great.
And who is this buyer with a cool million?
- You don't need to know.
- I think we do.
- No, you don't.
- [Man In Drag] Oh yes, we do, boss.
- All right.
It's The Hand.
- [Short Man And Man In Drag] The Hand!
- [Boss] That's right, The Hand.
- You didn't say nothin' about The Hand.
I, I don't wanna be workin' for The Hand.
(motorcycle buzzes)
(cars rumble)
- I told you you wouldn't like it,
but you will work for whoever I tell you
you'll work for, you got it?
- Boss.
- I can take care of The Hand!
- [Short Man] Boss?
- And don't either of you forget it.
- [Short Man] Boss!
- What?
- They're coming.
(comical instrumental music)
(motorcycle whines)
(martial instrumental music)
- [Boss] Get into position.
(grunting)
Move it!
(tense instrumental music)
Move it!
(tense instrumental music)
Hide, you morons, hide!
(percussive instrumental music)
(moves into tinkling instrumental music)
(tires screech)
- What the hell happened?
(tires squeal)
(shouting)
(tires screech)
(banging)
- [Man In Drag] Yahoo!
(jagged instrumental music)
(fuse hisses)
- Oh, what's that smell?
(chuckling)
It's laughing gas! (laughs)
(laughing and gagging)
Are you all right?
- Yes, it's (laughs) just a bump.
(laughing)
- [Boss] Hurry now!
(light instrumental music)
Hurry up!
(laughing)
(engine grinds)
(truck rumbles)
(laughing)
- They're stealin' the gold.
- I know!
They got away.
(laughing)
(tires screech)
(coughing)
- The gold's been stolen.
By a gang.
Two men and an extremely ugly woman.
(engine revs)
(chuckling)
(engine revs)
- What the hell are you doin'?
- I've smudged me lipstick.
(laughing)
Ow!
Ow.
- Boss!
Boss!
(engines rev)
(tires squeal)
(engines rev)
(thumping)
- [Short Man] Ow.
(engines rev)
(police band chatters)
- [Cop] Whoever these criminals are,
one thing's for sure,
they're highly trained professionals.
- Where the hell are we?
- [Man In Drag] Ow, ow.
- Show us where we are.
- Here.
- Idiot!
(engines rev)
(sirens wail)
- Go left, go left.
(tires screech)
At the next left.
- Ya bloody moron!
(engines rev)
- Huh?
- Uh oh.
(engines rev)
(shouting)
(tires screech)
(sighing)
(engines rev)
Get off each other!
Look at your map!
(engines rev)
(horn honks)
- [Driver] See ya later.
(jagged instrumental music)
- Take the next left, boss.
That'll bring us to the main road.
- This is the main road!
- Is it, oh.
(engines rev)
(sirens wail)
(jagged instrumental music)
(engines rev)
(sirens wail)
(tense instrumental music)
- Boss.
Boss!
- What?
- Look.
- Oh, brace yourselves, boys.
This is going to get a little tough.
(screaming)
(tires screech)
(sirens wail)
(engine revs)
- Yahoo!
Three cheers!
- That's why I'm the boss, boys.
- Give us five!
Right, yeah!
(groaning)
- Ya bloody moron!
- I'm sorry, boss, I'm sorry.
- Get that nancy's frock off.
(chuckling)
- [Josephine] Oh, I love the smell
of garbage in the morning.
- Mm, and where do you think
you're going, Josephine?
Didn't I instruct you
to remain at your post?
- There are some delicious
lookin' berries up the road.
You know, just a little
snack before brunch.
- A berry good idea.
I mean, uh, a very good idea.
Why don't I come with you?
Carry on, soldier.
- Yes, sir!
- [Boss] Move over, you idiots!
Get off me.
- [Short Man] What are you doin'?
What the hell are you doin'?
Get off!
(tires screech)
(horn blares)
(tires screech)
- Oh, humans.
If they're not hogging the road,
they're driving like animals.
(engine revs)
(ducks quack)
- Ah, my cherie amour,
this is your lucky day.
The duck of your dreams is approaching.
- [Boss] Get off!
(engine revs)
- [Short Man] Look where you're goin'!
(engine revs)
(duck speaks foreign language)
- What is a beautiful bird like you
doing in a dump like this.
- [Duck In Water] Oh, thank you, kind sir.
- Come, fly with me.
Me, Francois, the greatest
lover in all France.
We were made for each other.
- [Duck In Water] Oh, dear.
Duck!
(shouting)
Get off my tail, you idiot!
Let me go!
This is very bad.
(screaming)
(booming crash)
Ooh la la.
(speaking foreign language)
- Get off!
Get it off me.
Get off!
- Boss, boss, the water's coming in.
(grunting)
- [Francois] My cherie, my cherie,
where are you, my little duckling?
Answer me.
(speaking foreign language)
- Make my dinner, duck.
- [Francois] You crazy fool.
We were in love!
(shouting)
- It's all lake.
(grunting and groaning)
- Ooh, it's cold.
Good thing I'm not wearing me high heels.
- You stay in the truck.
Me and Hyper will push.
(comical instrumental music)
- Ready.
- Try the engine again.
(engine grinds)
- Still won't start.
- [Boss] Make sure it's not in gear,
and we'll push.
- [Short Man] Right.
Ooh, boss.
We're sinkin' into the mud, boss.
I can't swim.
(comical instrumental music)
- Truck stuck in the mud, boss.
- Really?
You are an absolute genius!
- Cops will be crawlin'
all over the place soon.
- What are we gonna do, boss?
- We're going to get this truck
out of the river, you idiot.
- What about that farmhouse we passed?
They might have a tractor.
- A bright idea at last.
And you, you look a mess!
Get them boobies off.
(comical instrumental music)
(moves into droning ambient music)
- [Francois] Peter!
Come quickly!
Peter!
- There.
- [Francois] Crazy men with guns
in the barn, Peter!
Little boy, help.
They are coming this way.
Are you deaf or what?
Help, guns.
Men.
Police!
(knocking)
(bluesy rock music)
- They must be home,
listen to that racket.
(quacking)
- Inspector!
Yes, help, police,
we are in great danger!
Yes, men with guns, big guns in the car,
pointing, uh, hurry, please, please.
Over there!
Over there!
Inspector!
What is the matter with you, or you deaf?
This way, Inspector.
Don't just stand there.
Emergency!
I'm talking about life or death.
- I think he fancies you.
(quacking)
- What?
Your assumption is
incorrect, Madam Inspector.
I am merely trying to catch his attention.
Help!
Police!
Police.
Come with me.
Come with me.
What are you, deaf?
- Hello.
- Hello, Shannon.
Are your parents in?
- They went into town.
- Oh.
Have you seen any suspicious
characters around?
Uh, any unusual activity?
- Francois, stop it!
- [Francois] You don't speak French,
but I'm talking to you clearly.
Stop it, get off!
- Sorry, he thinks he's
a guard dog.
- You stop!
- I haven't seen anybody today.
Why?
- Well, be on the lookout
for three highly dangerous men.
They robbed an armored truck.
If you, um, see anything, give us a call.
- Okay, cool.
- The main road's all backed up,
so don't worry if your parents are late.
They're probably just stuck in traffic.
- [Shannon] I won't.
- [Francois] Help, police!
Help!
Wait, where are you going?
Wait for me.
(speaking in foreign language)
Are you hearing me?
Ah, man!
Do your duty!
Cowards!
Come back here immediately.
I will report you to your superiors
if you are not listening to me.
Where are you going?
You fools!
(sinister instrumental music)
(gasping)
(sinister instrumental music)
- Go find a heavy chain.
Mick, check the tractor.
- [Mick] Right, boss.
(thumping)
- Very well, monsieur.
You leave me no option.
I'm going to call in the troops.
Help!
(fizzing)
- Dork, huh? (chuckles)
(Shannon groans)
- [Shannon] Yuck!
Peter, you little, Peter!
You got it in my food.
(muffled shouting)
(thudding)
(grunting)
(quacking)
Oops, sorry.
- Sorry?
Oh, no. (chuckles)
I'm sorry.
Our truck's broken down.
We, I need to borrow your phone.
- You'll have to wait
til my dad comes home
and ask him.
- I am in a bit of a rush.
- I'm not supposed to let strangers in
when he's out.
- I'm sure he won't mind.
- Oh, I think he would.
- No, he wouldn't.
- Yes, he would.
- Wouldn't.
- Would!
- Wouldn't.
- Would!
- Give me that phone right now.
- I'll call the police.
- [Boss] I wouldn't do that!
(shouting and grunting)
- [Peter] Let me go, let me go!
- [Mick] Stop shoving!
- Get up!
- Get after her!
Not both of ya!
- [Shannon] No, stay away from me!
- [Mick] Yeah, you're the boss.
- [Shannon] Get out of my house.
- Start catchin', you idiot!
(shouting and grunting)
- [Shannon] Let me go!
- [Boss] Give me that phone!
- No, now listen.
(thudding)
Ow!
- [Peter] Take that!
- [Boss] Come on!
(thudding)
(crashing)
- [Shannon] Stay away from him.
- [Peter] Let me go, let me go!
- Quiet, quiet!
Quiet!
Thank you.
- He hurt me.
- Quiet.
- Sorry.
- [Boss] Tie 'em up.
(sad instrumental music)
- [Colonel] All right, troops, fall in.
Huddle up.
Go to it now.
- You heard the Colonel, gather 'round.
We do not have much time.
(martial instrumental music)
Fall in!
(speaks foreign language)
We've reached the moment of truth.
Some of us may not return.
- [Milly] Oh, no.
- I'm afraid so, Milly.
But this is for Peter and Shannon.
- We are their only hope,
their best friends.
Are we together in this?
- All for one and one for all.
- [Colonel And Francois] All for one
and one for all.
- All right, let's do it.
We're goin' in.
- If you'd given me the phone,
we could've avoided all this.
- What do you want?
- They robbed the bank.
- Fine, we robbed the bank.
And nobody's gonna get in our way.
Capiche?
- You're never gonna get away with this.
- I don't reckon so, little squirt.
You be a good little boy,
and I won't stand on these.
(chuckling)
Got it?
- Higher, higher.
Up a little.
- [Colonel] Easy on my back, old boy.
- [Francois] Can I help
it if I have webbed feet?
- Never mind that.
Can you see Peter and Shannon?
- Come along, old chap.
We need a full report.
- [Boss] Right, you two--
- [Francois] I can see them.
They seem to be okay.
- [Josephine] That's good.
- [Francois] But they are all tied up.
- [Josephine] That's bad.
- You can untie the ropes with your beak.
- [Josephine] That's good.
- But I cannot fit through the window.
- You can go in through the hatch.
- That, that's good.
- But they have a gun. (snorts)
- Oh, dear, that's very bad.
Very, very bad, indeed.
- But they are humans. (snorts)
We're smarter than them.
- That's good.
If we can get them alone,
one by one,
we may stand a chance.
(Milly gulps)
- Yeah, uh, yes, sir.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes, sir.
Hey, yes, yes, sir.
Definitely, sir, definitely, sir.
No, sir.
- What did he say, boss?
- He's comin' here to fetch the gold.
- The Hand is comin' here?
- I can handle him, don't worry.
Guard 'em, Mick.
- Me, boss?
- Come on, Hyper.
Don't touch anything!
- But, but, boss.
(shattering)
- Don't touch anything.
(Milly panting)
- [Francois] We must be brave.
This could be our chance.
- [Boss] Get off, guard the door!
- He's got a nasty gun.
I hope the children are safe.
- There is only one way to find out.
Sound the battle cry.
- Oh, the, the battle cry?
Oh, dear.
(tractor rumbles)
- These men are ruthless.
(Milly whimpers)
(tractor rumbles)
- Have you got the chain?
- [Hyper] Yeah.
(Hyper shouts)
- Now listen closely, troops.
Milly, sentry duty.
- [Milly] What's a sentry?
- All you have to do is keep watch
until they return.
Got it?
- [Milly] Is that all?
All right.
- What a chicken.
(chickens cluck)
Oops, I beg your pardon, monsieur.
- Josephine, a special assignment.
I am sending you deep
into enemy territory.
- I won't let you down, Colonel.
I promise.
- That's the spirit, old girl.
Chickens.
You're under her command.
- Sir, yes, sir!
- Good luck, men.
Uh, I mean poultry.
- Move out.
(jaunty instrumental music)
- Wait, what about me?
What do I do on this mission?
- You, sir, are my chief
of special intelligence.
- Me?
Intelligence?
A brilliant decision, my colonel.
You will not regret this, I swear.
(jaunty instrumental music)
(Hyper groans)
- [Hyper] Oh, wait, boss, boss!
Wait for me, wait!
♫ I don't know what I been told
♫ I don't know what I been told
♫ Chicken troops are good as gold
♫ Chicken troops are good as gold
♫ One, two, three, four
♫ Chicken troops are good as gold
- Yeah, I'll have one of them.
And them.
And.
(chickens clucking)
I say, do you allow chickens in the house?
- What's he mean?
- Help me, quick!
- Give me a break, dork.
- Just help me, phone brain.
- Don't ya just love it?
(chickens clucking)
(Josephine grunts)
What the?
- [Josephine] Is that
cottage cheese I smell?
- No.
- [Josephine] It is cottage cheese!
- No!
- [Josephine] Oh boy, I'm famished.
- What was that?
- No!
- Here, gimme some of that.
- No!
(Mick groans)
Ah, go away!
- Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to do that.
Here, let me clean it off your face.
Oh, steady now.
This won't take long.
Just a few little licks.
Couldn't you have grabbed pepper?
- Please don't clean me nose!
(Josephine grunts)
(Mick grunts)
- [Josephine] Hey, wait,
where are you going?
- Get away from me.
(Mick grunts)
- You know?
I should leave you.
- You just try it.
- You're a prisoner of war.
Read him his rights, Major.
- Help!
- [Francois] You have the right to remain.
- The blighter's escaped.
Quickly, Josephine, after him.
Hurry!
- [Josephine] Hey, will you come back now?
Where are you going?
What's the matter with ya?
Oh, please.
Just a few more licks.
I'm famished.
(grunting and moaning)
Whee!
(chaotic instrumental music)
- Help me!
(chaotic instrumental music)
- [Colonel] This is most irregular.
(chaotic instrumental music)
(Mick grunting)
- Keep still.
I said keep still.
- Keep that pig away.
Don't you let her eat me.
- [Peter] I said keep still.
- Stop wiggling, you little worm.
Now what?
That Hand guy's coming, remember?
(Mick grunts)
- Shut up.
- Shut up.
We have to stop them.
- No!
- We can't just let them take the gold.
- It's too dangerous.
We'll call the police.
- Can't, they took the phone, remember?
Ah, okay, listen carefully.
I've got a plan.
- [Francois] Shh, they have a plan.
(Mick grunts)
(chain bangs)
- Hurry up.
- [Peter] It's gotta be in here somewhere.
- [Francois] Hey, watch out!
- [Josephine] I don't like guns.
(jaunty instrumental music)
- [Francois] Ooh la la.
- Aha.
- [Colonel] Now that's what I call a gun.
(gun booms)
- Great, this will do.
Come on, troops.
(jaunty instrumental music)
- Perfect, we'll need a lot.
- You ready?
Put it on the towage!
Well done.
(jaunty instrumental music)
(tractor rumbles)
(comical instrumental music)
(clucking)
- [Peter] Come on!
(jaunty instrumental music)
- [Hyper] Keep going.
Yes, yes!
(comical instrumental music)
(clucking)
(whirring and springing)
- Good work, chickens.
Ready.
- [Peter] Okay.
(quiet instrumental music)
Perfect.
(tractor grinds and rumbles)
- Why?
Why?
Why?
- Why?
- Why what?
- Why don't we get a tow truck?
- Because we've just robbed
a ruddy bank, you idiot.
- Tractor, please, tractor, please.
Try it again now, boss.
(tractor rumbles)
(jaunty instrumental music)
Come on, keep going, keep going.
Yes, yes, yes!
Yes, yes!
(Hyper laughs)
(jaunty instrumental music)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
(percussive instrumental music)
(moves into quietly dramatic music)
- It's still engaged.
- Oh, Shannon.
She spends more time on
that phone in one day
than I do in an entire year.
We may as well order something, huh?
That traffic certainly
isn't going anywhere.
- I just hope they're not fighting again.
- Oh, I'm sure they're fine.
- What are you having?
- Something cheap.
I've messed up, haven't I?
I really let you down.
- You haven't let us down.
- Yes, I have.
I gave up a nice, safe,
pensionable career.
- Which you hated.
- Yes, to buy a farm out
in the middle of nowhere.
- Which we love.
- Which we may lose.
- We knew it was going to be hard.
- Not this hard.
But,
I guess we have been
happy, though, haven't we?
- Very happy, all of us.
You went after your dream, Pat.
Not many men can say that they did that.
- Thanks.
I thank you
for being here,
for supporting me, for backing me.
But we will start again, I promise.
We're not going to give up.
We did the right thing,
moving here when we did.
And if I can't teach our kids
how to be financial wizards,
I guess, um,
maybe I can teach them how to dream.
Or right from wrong.
Or maybe about courage.
- Just get Peter to teach that pig
some table manners.
All right?
That's the only kind of teaching
I'm interested in.
- All right.
(Mick grunts)
- Shh!
(quiet, percussive instrumental music)
(Mick grunts)
(jaunty instrumental music)
- [Milly] It's them, it's the bad guys!
Help!
Somebody, help!
They're back! (barks)
They're coming.
- This is it, troops.
It's war.
- [Colonel] Battle stations, troops.
- Prepare to repel the enemy.
(quietly dramatic instrumental music)
- [Josephine] Oh, no.
- Yes, yes, yes, we are rich, we are rich!
- Where ya going?
- Just going to have a peek.
- [Boss] No ya don't!
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
- Had you been a twin,
the pair of you would've been thicker
than two short planks.
- Sorry, boss.
Boss, boss.
Allow me.
(Mick grunts)
- Shh!
(Mick grunts)
(electrical buzzing)
- Ah well, one short plank.
(Mick grunts)
What the?
(pan thunks)
(angelic choral singing)
- This way, quickly.
Come look.
Peter, in here.
In here.
- Wow!
(Mick grunts)
(electrical buzzing)
(Mick grunts)
(jaunty instrumental music)
(Mick grunts)
(pan thunks)
- [Boss] Quick!
(grunting)
- [Milly] Emergency meeting, hurry up!
Wow, look at all that butter.
- [Peter] It's gold, Milly.
- [Milly] I knew that.
- [Josephine] Gold, where's the gold?
- This way, my friends.
- [Colonel] All right, troops, fall in.
- Get ready, Josephine,
and you, too, Colonel.
(Shannon screams)
- [Shannon] No!
- We must hurry, they've got Shannon.
- I am at your service, my general.
What do you wish me to do?
- Go get help, Francois.
We need Mom and Dad.
- Have no fear, Francois
will save the day.
- [Colonel] Cleared for takeoff.
(jaunty instrumental music)
(shouting)
- [Shannon] No!
- [Boss] Get in!
- [Shannon] Let me out!
You'll be sorry!
I'm a teenager.
You're making a big mistake, mister.
- This is Major Francois
to Ground Control.
Intelligence mission proceeding smoothly.
I am making my way over territory.
No sign of subject as yet.
Hmm, what's that?
(quacking)
I see something.
(percussive instrumental music)
(speaking in foreign language)
- Okay, boss,
Hyper thinks things
are going really great,
don't ya, mate?
- Where's the other little runt?
- Uh.
I couldn't catch him, boss.
He's too quick for me.
But things could be a lot worse, though.
Couldn't they, boss?
- I am through playing games.
We get the gold,
and we get out of here.
And if anyone messes it up,
anyone,
I will personally
pound 'em into pulp.
Do I make meself clear?
(Mick chuckles)
- [Francois] There it is.
Patrick's vehicle spotted.
Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm making my descent.
Stand by.
(thudding)
(quacking)
The duck has landed. (quacks)
(quacking)
(comical instrumental music)
- Francois?
- [Francois] Oui!
It is I.
You must come quickly.
Your children are in danger,
great danger.
- What is he doing here?
- Please, there's no time to waste.
You must come with me now.
- [Patrick] What on earth?
Let go of me, you stupid duck.
- What's the matter?
You don't understand my English?
(speaking foreign language)
- I've got a bad feeling about this.
I think, um,
I think we should be going.
I mean, the traffic's
probably cleared up by now.
(quacking)
Come on.
Come on, come on.
(quacking)
- [Francois] Do not worry.
Just put it on my bill.
(quacking)
(comical instrumental music)
- Wait!
Wait!
- Just a moment.
- There's trouble at our farm.
- [Cop] We'll follow you.
(siren wails)
(cock crows)
- [Boss] Let me get
this straight, comrade.
- It's a car, boss.
Boss?
- If you don't want to get
caught, don't leave clues.
- Boss, it's a car.
(tense instrumental music)
It's The Hand!
- The Hand?
(tense instrumental music)
(Colonel bleats)
(Peter gasps)
(tense instrumental music)
- I know it's The Hand,
you lanky piece of camel dung.
Right.
Let's fetch the gold,
and get out of here.
Out of here!
- Ow!
- You understand?
- Yes, boss.
- [Shannon] Hey, let me out of here!
(banging)
Stop!
What's going on?
Come on, open the door!
What is going on out there?
(pounding)
- Uh oh.
They're coming.
Stay here.
(clucking)
(jaunty instrumental music)
- What a pleasure to
see you, Mr. Hand, sir.
Well it's all here, sir.
Every last bar.
If you'd like to take a look, sir.
Oh, it, uh, it didn't get damaged
in the crash, sir.
In fact, you could say that, uh,
it's as, uh, good as new.
(percussive instrumental music)
- Little joke, yeah? (laughs)
Joke?
(laughing)
It's a joke.
It's not so amusing,
because the joke is on me, huh?
Where is the gold, hmm?
(comical instrumental music)
- Peter!
Peter, I'm in here!
(percussive instrumental music)
Where is the gold?
Where's the gold?
Where is the gold?
Where is the gold?
Where is the gold?
(hand whirs)
(pounding)
(crashing)
- Peter!
- Hey, you, you're supposed
to be in the cubbard.
(Hyper groans)
- Mr. Von Steiger, these
men stole your gold.
They stole all your gold.
- I think there was a
little mistake. (chuckles)
- No!
They tied us up and stole all the gold.
- No, no.
Where is the gold then?
- Well isn't it in the truck?
- No, it's not in the truck.
Where is the gold.
- My God.
You're The Hand.
- Where is the gold?
- Shannon, run!
- Stop her!
(gun booms)
(shouting)
Stop!
(gun booms)
(eggs thud)
- Ow!
(laughing)
(gun booms)
- [Boss] Stop it!
(gun booms)
(shouting and grunting)
(Shannon whimpers)
- Oh no, out of ammunition.
- Do you know where the gold is?
Yes you do, yes you do.
I want my gold and I want it now!
(Milly growls)
(groaning)
- [Mick] Are you okay, boss?
(Milly growls)
(The Hand barks)
(Milly whimpers)
(The Hand chuckles)
- You have nice hair.
You wanna keep it?
Show me where the gold is.
Is it up there?
- Ow!
- Perhaps over there?
- I don't know!
- Huh?
Why don't you show me?
- [Hyper] Let me help you.
- Get off!
Where's me gun?
- [The Hand] You tell me where it is.
- [Shannon] I don't know!
- Such great beauty.
It would be a shame to destroy
such great beauty.
Where is the gold?
- I don't know.
- I know.
You like games?
I like games.
You lose.
Where's the gold?
- I don't know!
- I'm getting very angry.
I do not like to get angry.
I'm not a nice person when I'm angry.
Even my mother doesn't like me
when I'm angry.
Ah, my neck is getting stiff,
and my hand is starting to tingle.
Where is the gold?
You wanna hang up here
like a piece of meat?
I can arrange it.
Where is the gold?
Huh?
Is it up there?
Now what?
(grinding and rumbling)
- [Hyper] Boss, it's the army.
- Don't be an imbecile.
It's only a pile of scrap.
- It's the kid.
- That's General to you, sir.
(gun grinds)
Fire!
(gun booms)
(Hyper groans)
- Wow!
- [Colonel] Hold your fire.
- [Josephine] Standin' by. (snorts)
- You'll now surrender.
- You must be joking.
- Two degrees left, Lieutenant.
- [Josephine] Yes, sir.
(gun grinds)
(gun cocks)
(hand whirs)
(metal squeals)
(fleshy thunk)
(groaning)
Trajectory three degrees right.
- Mr. Von Steiger,
don't you think it would
be better to negotiate?
- Don't be stupid.
Stay where you are!
- This is your last chance.
Surrender!
(The Hand laughs)
- Enough of this nonsense.
I want my gold!
- Fire!
(booming)
(shouting)
(birds tweet)
- [Josephine] Ready to fire.
- Oh, my hair, look at my hair.
- Fire!
(booming)
(groaning)
- Enough of this nonsense.
- [Colonel] Trajectory five degrees left.
(gun whines)
- [Josephine] Trajectory
five degrees left.
- Peter!
- Where is the gold?
Hmm?
You're getting me angry, kid.
I don't want to get angry.
Hmm?
I mean it.
You heard me.
The dame will wear wigs
for the rest of her life.
- [Shannon] Ow!
- You heard me, kid.
I'm going to count to 10.
One, nine, 10.
I will wring her scrawny little neck.
Where is the gold?
- Stay here.
- Yes, sir.
- Yes, sir. (snorts)
(tense instrumental music)
What's goin' on out there?
Have we surrendered? (snorts)
- We may have lost the battle,
but the war will continue.
- Get in the car.
Get out of my way.
You will get in the car here.
- [Shannon] Let go.
- [The Hand] Get in the car.
- [Shannon] Ow!
- [The Hand] Get in the car!
- Let me out!
- [The Hand] And stay there!
- No!
Let me out!
(tense instrumental music)
- [Mick] Oh, it got me neck.
- [Colonel] All right,
Josephine, let's go.
- But Peter told us to stay.
- [Colonel] All for one and one for all.
- Where is the gold?
Where is it?
Where is the gold?
- No, no, it's in the truck.
- He's lying!
- He's lying!
- [Peter] Let me go!
- [The Hand] You lie, and
I'll pull your neck out
like a little giraffe.
- Let us go!
Let us go.
- Come on, jump to it now.
(Josephine snorts)
- You little animal.
I'm gonna pop your eyes out.
Get up.
No sniveling, no whimpering.
You better not be lying!
- [Hyper] There's nothin' here, boss.
- Oh, this is getting so boring.
I'm gonna have to pop your eyes out.
- Get the keys.
Get the keys, Colonel, come on.
Put them in your mouth.
- [Colonel] Hmm, this could be tricky.
- [Shannon] Colonel, come
on, Colonel, you can do it.
- [Colonel] Yes, I'm trying my best.
- Quickly, Colonel.
Come on, come on.
Put them in your mouth.
- That crafty little worm.
- Boss, Mr. Hand, sir,
the gold is here.
- How?
- Good boy.
- Got ya.
- Good boy.
- It's all mine!
- Not all!
- All right, my boy, you did your job.
Load it in the car.
- [Boss] The goat!
- Colonel!
- Run, Colonel, run!
- All animals everywhere.
- Drop it!
- That crafty little.
- Stay where you are kid,
and no one will get hurt.
- Please, don't hurt him.
- Then tell him to drop the key.
(Milly whimpers)
(siren wails)
Shoot it now, they're coming!
- No!
Colonel, it's not worth it!
Drop them.
- Do it now!
- No!
- [Milly] I'll show them.
I don't have to bark.
- Boss, look out!
- [Milly] I can bite.
(gun booms)
(Milly whimpers)
- Oh, Milly.
- No, Milly!
- Oh, Milly, Milly.
It's all my fault.
- You mustn't blame yourself, Colonel.
(Peter cries)
- You killed her!
- I didn't mean to.
- Get a grip, it's only a dog.
You, Hyper person, get the girl,
and load in the gold, now!
- I'll do it.
- Shut up!
(gentle instrumental music)
- Yes, boss.
- I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to kill her.
No one was supposed to get hurt.
- Just stay away!
- Get out!
Just take your stupid gold and go!
- Finally, some sense.
- [Francois] Bombs away!
(Boss groans)
(jaunty instrumental music)
Ready or not, here I come.
Attack!
(quacking)
(Peter shouts)
- [Shannon] Peter!
(Peter screams)
(grunting)
- [Colonel] Excuse me for butting in.
- That goat is biting me.
Stop, stop!
(siren wails)
- [Colonel] Hmm, and where
do you think you're going?
- Arrest me, arrest me!
- [Patrick] You all right?
What happened?
- They shot Milly.
- [The Hand] Please, no, no!
No, no, no, stop, leave me alone.
I, I can talk to the animals.
I can talk to the animals.
- No one was supposed to get hurt.
- That's what guns do.
They hurt people.
- Yeah, some of my best
friends are ducks. (quacks)
My, my mother's middle name is Mallard.
And my brothers.
You wanna see me goosestep? (chuckles)
(groaning)
♫ Nothing good arrives
♫ In a black Mercedes Benz
♫ Stealing all your presents
Will anyone help me?
- Milly.
Milly.
- You must be brave, Peter.
- She gave her life to save ours.
- She was a good friend
and a true soldier.
- [Milly] And a hero.
Don't forget the hero part.
- Milly, you're alive!
She's alive!
- [Francois] Ooh la la.
- [Josephine] Oh, good heavens.
(gentle instrumental music)
- Milly.
Milly.
You little faker.
- She's alive.
She's alive!
- Well it looks like you did pretty good.
I guess you take after your mom.
I'm proud of you.
- It was all Peter.
He did everything.
He was great, Dad.
- What were you just saying about courage?
(quiet instrumental music)
(cock crows)
- And for bravery above and
beyond the call of duty,
for putting her friend's
life before her own,
we award our highest honor
to Milly.
(jaunty instrumental music)
You found your voice
in the hour of danger.
(barking)
- Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
- And thanks to the reward money,
none of us ever have to worry again.
- Jolly good show.
Well done, my brave friends.
It's been an honor serving with you all.
- Ladies, ladies,
I'm back from the front.
I am a hero.
Look at my medal.
The brave warrior returns.
- Oh no, not him again.
- The absolute worst.
He's French.
They think they're the
world's greatest lovers.
- Let's just ignore him.
- Good idea.
- Good day, ladies.
- Oh, no.
- How are we all doin' today?
Name's Bruce.
I just flew in from Australia,
and, boy, are my wings tired.
Mind if I join you lovely Sheilas?
Put another shrimp on the barbie.
I'm comin' in.
(quacking)
By the way,
did I mention that I'm also half Spanish?
Ole, ole!
(speaking foreign language)
Permit me to introduce myself.
I'm Don Juan Jose
Antonio Geraldo de Marco,
the third.
No, wait a second.
I made a mistake.
That's Count Don Juan Jose
Antonio Geraldo de Marco.
(quacking)
(percussive instrumental music)
(Multicom Jingle)