Perfect Rivals (2011) Movie Script

Hello, Zhen Zhen.

That's right, your eyes look better

if you draw them bigger.

Jenny, the lipstick color

looks really unique.

It's a pity that your lips are too thick.

Your foundation is too pale,

your eyebrows are too thick.

You just look like...

A clown who doesn't know how to

crack jokes cry in the circus.

It's too heart-wrenching to watch.

Jenny.

Your thighs didn't used to be so huge

They make skin that you are wearing now

look like...

like a very narrow womb,

fervently supporting a pair

of premature obese twins,

who can't get out no

matter how hard they try.

It's such a sad plight to watch.

Zhen Zhen Zhen!

I've tolerated you for too long!

You've been taunting me since day one!

I've had enough!

Stab me if you dare.

Jenny.

Remember what you told me

on your first day of work?

You want your dad to retire next year.

Let your sister have her surgery.

Send your brother to study in England.

You want the whole world to know,

without certificates of

university education,

you also can be successful just like me.

Remember?

You're conscientious and

that's your strength.

You'll notice details

that many of us neglect.

So you have to utilize this strength.

Understand?

I'm sure you haven'! had lunch.

Go grab a bite.

If not, your gastritis will acts up again.

I'm not hungry.

I'll get back to work right now.

Go ahead.

I want you to fire Jenny at the

end of this month. Understand?

Me?

Rule no.2?

Must not argue with mommy.

Rule no.5?

Love each other, for peace and harmony.

No. 4?

Wider.

Good girl.

Ladies! I love you!

"Chen Xiao Hu, second son of Chen family"

How are you today?

Thank you...

Korean's famous drama serial

"Jewel In The Palace"...

I know "Jewel In The Palace".

"Chen Hao, boss of Hao Han Bak Kwa"

Jewel in the palace...

"Famous Korean star, Bay Yong Joon"

On a cold winter's night,

"Famous Korean star, Bay Yong Joon"

I think of you.

Welcome...

Try our specialty jerked meat.

It's definitely better

than our competitor's.

A jerked meat in winter,

your ultimate pleasure.

Mei Mei jerked meat, I love Mei Mei.

"Zhen Zhen Zhen,

eldest foster daughter of Zhen family"

Ladies...

Superman...

Brother.

Come on.

Ready.

Superman!

Come on, it's Superman!

"Chen Xiao Ma, eldest son of Chen family"

Hey ladies, please come in...

Superman grills jerked meat!

"Zhen Mei Mei, CEO of Mei Mei Bak Kwa"

Nice to meet you...

Hey...

Hey ladies...

Thank you very much!

Hi boss!

Give me half a kilogram

of chicken jerked meat.

No problem! This way...

Do you see this?

I don't care what despicable means

you use to steal my customers.

You will never be able to steal

My most faithful customer.

Because I have the secret family recipe.

Word has it that "Mei Mei Bak

Kwa" maybe most successful.

But our "Hao Han Bak Kwa" tastes the best!

Am I right?

Hey... old man!

You can'! die!

Send him to the hospital...

You are my only old customer. Don't die.

Okay...

You'd better go take care

of your only old customer

while I have to go serve

my many new customers.

We'll chat another day.

Stupid woman! Don't you gloat!

I will show you someday about

what is "when the tree

falls, the monkeys tum!"

Boss Chen.

Actually its when the tree

falls, the monkeys scatter.

Not tum!

I prefer it this way, monkeys tum...

Anyway...

So what?

If the tree falls, you'll be

the first monkey to scatter.

Bye.

Morning, master...

Listen up everyone!

This woman is mine and

no one can touch her!

Whoever touches her, I will kill him!

Call madam!

Morning, madam...

Get back to work.

Master.

Madam.

I maybe blind, but in my heart,

Hao is my favourite disciple.

He has great potential.

Stop fooling around.

Master.

I'll get back to my work.

Quick...

There?

Superman?

Superman's here!

How dare you steal?

Did you make him steal?

Yes...

So it was you!

Stealing is wrong!

It's wrong...

All right...

It's wrong...

Have you had enough?

I'll beat you to death!

Beat me to death?

A son who beats his dad will

be struck by lightning!

You're hitting him again?

I'm going to kill you!

Be careful of retribution.

Is this not retribution?

Give birth to both of you.

One always acts like superman

and one who drinks all day long.

What's wrong with my drinking?

I know I caused mom's death.

Everything I do is wrong in your eyes.

I didn't say you caused your mom's death.

I merely said your mom died

after giving birth to you.

All right, stop quarreling.

None of us caused anyone's death.

Shall we continue to play?

I'm not in the mood!

You two are making me angry!

And if I really die,

this family will be like

"tree fall, monkey scatter".

The theme for this year's

"Bak Kwa King" competition is innovation.

If your jerked meat is the

tastiest and the most novel.

You get to open a store

at our newly opened Evergreen IR!

Here comes "Hao Han Bak Kwa",

everyone else will perish!

I'm here to take part in the competition.

I'm sorry, Boss Chen.

The last day for

registration was yesterday.

I'm so sorry.

I don't understand what's last day.

I don't know what do you say!

Word has it that "Mei Mei Bak

Kwa" maybe most successful.

But "Hao Han Bak Kwa" tastes the best!

If "Hao Han Bak Kwa" is not competing,

what sort of a competition would this be?

Am I right?

Mr. President, why don'!

you give Boss Chen a chance?

I too hope "Hao Han Bak Kwa"

Gets a chance to participate

in the competition.

Just look at... this woman.

How does she lie through her teeth?

Use your mouth when you talk.

Not your hand.

What are you?

I am "Mei Mei Bak Kwa's"...

mascot

Mei Mei...

Tastes the best!

Yummy...

You'll love it!

I'm also Mei Mei's friend, lover,

personal assistant, chauffeur,

domestic helper, hair stylist, masseur

and animal trainer.

And killer...

Mickey.

Yes, madam.

This creature is quite strong.

All right...

I accused you of lying

in front of everybody.

That was my bad.

I now offer you a toast

as a sign of my apology.

Come on.

Why offer me a toast when

you know I can't drink?

I'm toasting you precisely

because I know you can'! drink.

Miss Mei Mei.

I'm offering you a toast in

front of all these people.

You won't oblige.

You can'! be that petty.

If Boss Chen offers me a toast

how can I not oblige?

Right?

Let's drink.

Cheers!

Okay.

It shines the Xindian River like the past.

Winter just like the past.

Icy rainwater just like the past.

I love you.

The dust has collected by

wind just like the past.

Smiles just like the past.

Tears just like the past.

Like the past.

You and I still same like the past.

Our jerked meat are partially

cooked in the factory,

then fully grilled in our shops.

This ensures absolute

freshness and crispiness.

Come... please try our

specialty jerked meat

Please try the specialty jerked meat

from "Mei Mei Bak Kwa".

Okay...

Let's dig in...

Delicious...

The best jerked meat!

Pain.

It really hurts!

Excuse me, I'm sorry.

Hey, are you okay?

You charcoal-faced Japanese.

Can you go somewhere else and die?

It's been a long time, sister.

Yuan?

You jerk!

I'm going to strangle you...

I hate you.

I love you!

"Zhen Yuan Yuan,

young foster daughter of Zhen family"

Sister! I don't want too

much oil in my salad!

This is not fattening!

Don'! move.

It's dirty, you haven'! washed your hands.

Don'! want.

Yuan, didn't mom send you to America?

Why did you return as a Japanese?

Sis, they're all my good friends.

They're Japanese.

So I became one as well.

You haven't changed.

As insecure as always.

Since young, you're always

trying to be someone else

to try to fit in.

Look at you now.

You've no character at all.

The good thing is,

you're still my little Miss Yuan Yuan.

So cute.

You're so cute.

Mom, you too.

You're my little miss angel.

All right... you smooth talker.

I was taken in by your

sweet words in the past,

that's why I decided to adopt you.

I am not lying, I am telling the truth.

You are really my little miss angel.

Now that you've graduated, can

you come back and help me?

Sure, what would you like me to do?

Be my spy.

Be a spy?

Breathe in.

All right, don't move...

Focus!

All right, stand straight. Let me see.

Is that okay?

All right, it's ﬂat enough. Good.

Cling wrap.

Don'! move.

Let me cut this.

Your mission is to find out

what new product they

will be coming up with

for the "Bak Kwa King" competition.

New product?

Regardless of the new product they present,

we will also present the same, but...

only better!

But they are pathetic as it is,

must we still kill them off?

No, we're not killing them off.

We're just getting rid of them.

So that we don't have to see them everyday.

On?

On...

Banana?

It seems a bit short.

Here, your hand.

Sister, it's ticklish!

Don't play around.

Sister, should we go for something harder?

Let me tell you, 8 out of 10 men are soft.

Putting a hard one won'! be realistic.

Is it better this way or that?

All right...

Yuan... you really look the part!

My 'son' is so handsome!

From now on, you're a man.

But you must remember.

Rule no. 1.

Men can't be trusted...

"Hao Han Bak Kwa"

Hurry up...

Hey...

Must you fan so hard?

Am I not perspiring enough?

Are you trying to kill me in this heat?

I'm Superman

And Superman is strong.

Superman...

Do you really think you are superman?

You must be crazy.

I'm not crazy.

I'm very smart and I used

to be number one in class.

Yes... you still are number one.

Number one in insanity!

Hey... come back!

Hey...

Who are you?

I'm called Teh Si.

I don't care if you're Teh Si or Coffee Si.

Why are you in my kitchen?

Boss Chen.

I've just been fired by "Mei Mei Bak Kwa".

When I asked Mei Mei why she fired me,

she actually said it was because I'm a man.

That wretch still hates men huh?

I was furious.

So before I left, I said

something that left her fuming.

I said...

"Mei Mei Bak Kwa" maybe

the most successful,

but "Hao Han Bak Kwa" tastes the best...

Clever.

Hey Teh Si,

you seriously think

"Hao Han Bak Kwa" tastes the best?

Are you crying?

Boss.

Could you let me work here?

I'll work hard, boss.

This jade pendant...

Why are you wearing this jade pendant?

I've been wearing it since young.

Tum over.

Why?

Tum over and I'll tell you.

This is from my mom.

I want you to have it.

When we have a baby,

I'll let our child wear this.

All right, I'll hire you.

You can start work immediately.

Really? Thank you boss!

But boss, I'm homeless right now.

Can I...

Yes, you can stay at my place.

Really? Boss, you're such a nice man.

Thank you, boss...

I promise I'll work hard.

Thanks boss, I will work really hard!

Here you go.

You don'! even want to eat

your own jerked meat.

How can you expect customers to eat it?

You're Superman, you have it

You're our guest, you have it first.

You guys do not appreciate what you have.

Where in the world can you find a father

who'd make jerked meat

for his sons everyday?

You grew up eating my jerked meat.

You ought to be able

to feel my mood from eating my jerked meat.

Whether I'm in a good mood or bad mood.

And also if I haven't defecate.

Do you guys understand?

Can we not talk about

defecate during dinner?

I asked you to have jerked meat

and you gave me a crappy face.

So why can't I talk about excrement?

All right.

Eat excrement...

Dad, eat excrement.

What do you mean?

How dare you said that

jerked meat which feed us

is excrement?

Brother Xiao Ma, sorry to trouble you.

I'm afraid of ghosts, so I can'!

sleep alone outside.

Can you sleep outside instead?

Sure, don'! worry.

I'm Superman

I'm not afraid of anything,

I can sleep anywhere.

Brother Xiao Ma, not only you

are as brave as Superman.

You're more benevolent than Batman,

kinder than Spiderman

and greater than Iron man.

Goodnight...

Brother Xiao Hu, it's bedtime

and you're still drinking?

Why do you like to drink so much?

I need to drink to stay sober.

And I need to stay sober to drink.

So, are you drunk or sober now?

Drunk when sober and sober when drunk.

Drunk and feel sleepiness.

Feel sleepiness but sober.

Sorry, I didn't know someone was here.

Don'! worry, we're all men.

Please continue...

Is he sleeping there again?

Let me wake him up.

Don'! move!

Let me do it.

Pervert! Why did you touch me?

I bought this online.

It was specially flown in from Japan.

It's been worn by a girl before.

And...

this is what I stole from

the swimming pool that day.

It's still warm.

Still warm?

These things are not meant for children.

Go out... leave this room.

But I want to see!

Cannot... get out!

Are you pervert?

I'm already 20 something

but I'm not yet a man.

Not a man?

I worked at "Mei Mei Bak Kwa",

but none of the girls fancied me.

I'm a man too and I have my needs.

Don'! worry.

If there's anything that I,

Chen Xiao Hu has plenty of,

it's women.

I assure you.

Within a month...

I will make you into a man.

On?

On!

Okay! Drink up!

Cheers.

Thank you.

Pepper?

Excuse me.

So"?...

Xiao Ma.

Superman!

You'll have to do me a favour.

Listen, you are not my

primary school classmate.

Hey! Are you listening to me?

You are not my primary school classmate.

You are my boyfriend.

Whatever it is, no matter

what happens later,

don’t speak, just nod your head.

Don't speak, just nod your head.

May I speak with the boss?

Do you know how to do business?

With my qualities, I have

no problem finding a man.

I engaged your services only

because I wanted to save time.

But you are so unprofessional.

Give me a fake foreign

person who's short, ugly,

Skinny, strange and can't even

speak a word of Mandarin!

Zhen Zhen.

Brother Bin Bin.

Shall we dance?

But brother Bin Bin,

this is a restaurant, not a dance hall.

If you and I get together,

you won'! have to...

Are you pervert?

Brother Bin Bin, your

hair is also your hat.

Not only that...

you're also a magician.

Who can make yourself tall.

Do you know what I felt

when I kicked him just now?

Fake hair, fake shoes, fake sexual organ!

Everything about you is fake.

Why don'! you change your name to Mr. Fake?

Bye.

Apple!

Who is he?

Him... he is my new boyfriend.

I want to break up with you.

It's mine.

Don'! take my toy.

It's mine!

Let go...

Why did you snatch my son's toy?

This toy belongs to me.

It's mine!

My son says the toy belongs to him.

So it's belongs to him.

Don'! bully my son.

I'm Superman, I will not

bully little children

Who in the world would

call himself Superman?

Are you crazy?

I'm not crazy, I'm Superman.

You are obviously crazy...

Hey!

Have you had enough?

Excuse me, you old lady.

Isn't botox free of charge these days?

How can you call yourself a mother?

With a mom like you,

your son's bound to

become a gangster at 10,

a thief by 20,

a robber by 30,

a terrorist by 40.

At 50, he'll rob his own mother.

At 60, he'll dig up your grave

and sell your bones to the junk dealer!

Don'! think I forgot about you.

Get up...

His here is stronger than you,

here is bigger than you,

here is better looking than you,

and here has 6 more pecks than you.

Tum over.

And here also, has more power than you.

Any woman would have

chosen him and not you.

Am I right?

Right...

Gilbert... wait!

Let's go.

Yes!

Are you okay?

My ankle hurts.

I'll send you to the hospital.

Can you drive?

I can't drive but I can fly.

Fly?

Who told you you're Superman?

My brother Xiao Hu told me so.

After being hit by my dad when I was 10,

I was admitted to the hospital.

Xiao Hu told me from then on,

I became Superman

When did you learn to ﬂy?

After I became Superman,

I naturally knew how to ﬂy.

Big sister.

Thank you for helping me.

If you meet with any problems

in the future, you can find me.

I'm Superman, I'll surely help you

Why so slow?

Superman, can you ﬂy faster?

Of course.

Hi.

Why have you not visited me

at my shop for so long?

I've been busy...

You have to come for a massage

no matter how busy you are.

And I will give you special service.

Make you into like "Hao Han Bak Kwa".

Like...

Hey...

Real man!

All right... why don'! you go in

and have some jerked meat?

I need to sweep the ﬂoor.

Look at you...

You don'! listen again.

Why aren't you using

the magic pillow I bought for you?

Can you lower your volume?

There're people around.

Right, there's people around. So what?

Is it a crime to care for you?

Is it a sin to love you?

If you're giving me a

massage, use more force.

More harder. Don'! be a pansy.

Make me happy, make me comfortable.

Give me excitement, make me high.

Monica Cheng.

Come over.

Didn't you say you were going

to offer me a special service?

Massage now.

Here...

Make me comfortable, make me excited,

make me a man!

No problem...

Mickey! Come!

Feels good.

Yes! Right there...

Painful?

No, not at all... it's comfortable...

Mickey!

It's comfortable!

You make me so excited!

Harder...

Yes, baby!

Yes!

Oh yeah!

Higher!

Lower!

I can't stand it...

It's hurt!

Yes...

Help!

Are you trying to kill my dad?

Let me rescue you, dad!

Trying to kill my dad? Go...

What did you do?

She was only giving me a massage,

not kill me!

You're superman but you can'!

tell right from wrong.

"" 1 going to hit you!

Are you going to hit me again?

Where are you off to?

You still have feelings for him.

Of course not.

It's you.

Why are you here?

Kids shouldn't come here.

I'm not a child, I'm Superman!

Superman good at drinking.

Does Superman want a drink?

Okay.

Give me your largest mug!

Okay.

Why are you drinking milk?

Because I'm not Superman.

Superman, here's your drink.

Cheers!

I'm mad at someone.

I'm also mad at someone.

I see this person everyday.

I also see this person everyday.

He hurt me very deeply.

He too hurt me very deeply.

I hate him.

I hate him too.

Why are you drinking my milk?

Why are you drinking my beer?

We changed the world or

it has been changed us?

Smiles just like the past.

Tears just like the past.

Like the past.

You and I still same like the past.

I think I've seen you before.

Are you nuts? My shop is next to yours.

Of course you've seen me before.

No, I meant I've seen you asleep.

How dare you...

So your dad hit you after

you drew on my picture?

That's right...

My dad has never explained why he hit me.

I only knew that after I was

admitted to the hospital,

the doctor made me become Superman

Do you sing like this only after you drink?

Don'! you feel better

after singing your heart out like this?

Seems like it.

I feel much happier after

our singing session.

If only dad's jerked meat made us as happy,

Xiao Hu and I wouldn't be as unhappy,

when eating those leftover jerked meat.

Beer flavored jerked meat...

That's right! Beer flavored jerked meat!

Beer jerked meat that will

make you happy after eating!

I'm going to unveil beer jerked

meat for this competition.

Beer jerked meat is a brilliant idea.

It's my idea, don't you tell your dad.

I promise, I won't say a word to my dad.

On?

On.

So"?...

Don'! forget you're Superman.

Are you trying to scare people?

Did you just come from a costume party?

Not telling you, unless

you apologize to me.

You wish.

Ever heard of a father

saying sorry to his son?

Then why are you holding the needle?

Needle?

You talking about this?

I'm doing acupuncture.

Acupuncture?

No one does acupuncture through a shirt.

It's special acupuncture.

You're bleeding.

What's the big deal?

A man sheds blood, not tears.

See this?

Does it hurt?

Not at all!

You lost! Drink up...

I am not the main lead

today, it's someone else.

Who...

You see him?

That's him! Go, make him drunk!

Sorry, we're not interested in little boys.

What little boy? He's got a name.

He's called Teh Si.

Teh Si? Not my cup of tea...

Come on, just drink...

Quickly drink, quickly.

I'll help him drink.

What have you done?

I'm all wet!

Your makeup's ruined, your blouse's wet.

Do you ladies want to go to the washroom?

I'm sorry I didn't mean it,

this is my first time drinking.

SO"?

I can't drink it anymore...

Let's go home.

Wait, I have something for you.

One.

Not enough...

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five. Six.

Take them all!

Give your best shot...

Brother Xiao Hu, behave

yourself, we're out now.

Let's go back and do.

No... I mean talk.

It'll be bad if someone

sees us, Brother Xiao Hu.

Oh no!

He is actually a...

What a waste...

Don'! be like this, Brother Xiao Hu...

Open up!

Who's in there?

Why did you block the door?

Open up! I'm going to throw up!

Pardon me... let me help you clean this up.

Don'! move!

Brother Xiao Hu, I heard that

it's very popular to bathe

like this in Venezuela.

Bathing in vomit is great

for the complexion!

I finally get to try it today!

I must really thank you, brother Xiao Hu.

Do you know why I'm always drinking?

I don't know.

Dad is always scolding me.

Saying I don't work hard.

But so what if I work hard?

No matter how hard I work, dad

will never appreciate me.

I didn't cause mom's

death, I really didn't.

I didn't...

It wasn't me...

What are you doing?

Brother Xiao Hu, look over there!

What happened? Why is it so dark?

Oh dear! There's broken

glass on the toilet ﬂoor!

Brother Xiao Hu, be careful!

There's broken glass on the ﬂoor!

I saw a lizard on the wall just now,

so I decided to throw something at it.

Are you afraid that the

lizard will eat you up? Nuts!

Why are you wearing

so much clothes? Feeling cold?

I like to perspire when I sleep,

when whole body is wet,

it's easier to have wet dreams.

You have really gone mad

from thinking about women!

That hurts! Can you be more gentle?

All right.

It tickles.

You complain when it's too

hard, and now ticklish?

What you want me to do?

Then don't be too hard nor too soft.

Troublesome.

Stop screaming!

Are you trying to wake everyone?

"Hao Han Bak Kwa"

What are you doing?

How dare you mess around with my recipe?

Are you tired of living?

Wonderful sauce... yummy...

Why are you so happy?

I invented a new sauce.

I'm going to use this sauce

for the upcoming "Bak

Kwa King" competition.

And the wretch next door will be doomed.

Get it?

It smells the same.

What do you know?

Your nose is like everyone else's,

how can you smell it?

I am the only one in the world with a nose

that's more sensitive than a dog.

You smell of sweat.

Oh yes.

But I really can'! tell what's inside,

Actually, it's really simple.

what ingredients did you use?

I merely put...

Would you know if I told you?

Don'! waste my breath!

Hi Mrs. Toh, long time no see.

Boss, your regular customer is here.

You go and take care of it first.

Hi Mrs. Toh, feel free to

tell boss what you need.

Boss, let me help you keep this sauce.

Never mind... I... you...

Hey, be careful!

You haven't been here in a while.

Half a kilo of chicken jerked meat.

Thank you...

Mommy, I have something for you.

Boss, I need to go out for

a while, be back shortly.

Mom, I'm being followed by Chen Hao.

And the sauce is with me. What should I do?

Rule no. 9. The more afraid you are,

the more calm you must be.

Tum around quickly and follow him.

Really?

Tum around!

Stop! Go and look for a ladies toilet.

Am I not following him?

Why is he following me instead?

Crazy!

I swear I'm a woman.

If you don'!

believe me, I'll prove it to you.

Pervert!

Don'! be afraid, I'm best

at catching perverts!

Fancy a gentleman like you

being in the ladies toilet.

Good that you're here,

I've something to ask you.

Who exactly is Teh Si?

Is Teh Si my son?

Is Teh Si our son?

Teh Si is so young,

how could he possibly be our son?

He's not.

Don'! lie to me!

I saw it with my own eyes,

he is wearing the jade pendant.

We agreed a long time ago.

That if we had a child, we'd

let him wear the jade pendant.

Why?

Even so, that has nothing to do with you.

After the day you drove

Brother Wan to his death,

you and I had nothing more

to do with each other.

You were the one who killed master, not me!

You drove Brother Wan to his death!

Master was killed by you!

It was you who killed him!

It's you...

Do you really like him?

I like him. I'm already his woman.

Lift up your hand.

This cleaver has been

with me for more than 40 years.

I am going to give it to you now.

He was orphaned at 5. I adopted him.

I taught him to make jerked meat

and treated him like my own son.

Yet, he betrayed me.

Do you think you could

trust a man like him?

The first time I had a whiff of her scent,

I fell in love with her.

I used my life savings to purchase her.

I used my life to love her.

Yet, she betrayed me.

Do you think you should

love a woman like her?

Mei Mei, you are too forthright,

people read you too easily.

You need to master your emotions

to accomplish bigger things.

Hao, you need to speak your mind.

And be a man.

I am going to reveal to

you my secret recipe.

Go and die.

Listen up, brothers of "Bai Wan Bak Kwa".

I will give half of my inheritance to Hao.

And the other half to Zhen Mei Mei.

All of you must be united.

Don't let the "tree fall

and the monkeys scatter"!

Do you still love me?

Do you regret loving me?

You have not even uttered a

word, are you still a man?

Go and die!

What happened...

what are the two of you doing?

Put down the cleaver.

I am trying to break up with my ex-lover

and we are negotiating!

We have already broken up 28 years ago.

And you're negotiating only now?

I am slow by nature,

I like to wait for 28 years, can'! I?

So why do you have to negotiate

in the ladies toilet?

If not at ladies toilet,

should we be in the men's toilet instead?

Lame!

I don't know where she is.

She didn't answer any of my calls.

Where have you been?

Why didn't you pick up your phone?

That's great, now we'll

see how badly he'll fall.

Does this jade belong to me?

Is Chen Hao my father?

Don'! spout rubbish.

I heard everything that the

both of you said in the toilet.

He said this jade belongs to your child.

No wonder you sent me abroad

to study since young.

And now that I'm back,

you sent me to be a spy.

Actually, it's because you

don't want to see me.

You do not want me by your side.

Since young, no matter what I do,

you've never scolded me.

Actually, it's because

you couldn't care less.

Yuan.

Mom, Yuan is joking, right?

Mom...

That stingy, loud-mouthed brute of a monkey

is not my dad, right?

Yuan, I'll let you wear this necklace.

Mom, look at me.

Look at me right now!

When I told you I wanted

to go for plastic surgery,

you gave me money.

To get Shu Qi's lips,

Lin Chi Ling's nose, Zhao Wei's eyes.

Actually, it's because

you didn't want to see

any trace of that hateful monkey on me!

Why did you lie to me?

Zhen Zhen.

Zhen Zhen, sorry.

You really are me and Brother Hao's child.

"Hao Han Bak Kwa"

Big sister!

What are you doing... let go of me...

Big sister...

Let go of me.

Big sister...

I've checked.

Everything about you is fake.

Mr. Fake! It's you!

(You two. Pay attention)

(I'm going to film this girl)

(You two are in charge of her boobs)

(Squash them)

(Punch them)

(And make them become unbalanced breasts)

(You two, film her)

(Upload the video and

share it with the world)

(Understand)

Big sister!

Open the door...

Superman...

Don'! you do anything rash.

Superman...

Superman, don't die.

Big sister.

I promised you I'd protect you.

Stupid Teh Si, I'm going to kill you!

Teh Si!

Teh Si, come out right now!

Come out! Teh Si!

Moon river.

Wider than a mile.

I'm crossing you in style, someday.

Oh dream maker.

You heart breaker.

Wherever you're going, I'm going your way.

Happy birthday.

Are you nuts?

Do you think you look great

dressed up like a gender-bender?

And...

why did you tell people

that I was your boyfriend?

Do you know

that the whole world now thinks I'm gay?

If you fancied men, you

should have told me earlier.

Go ahead and cross-dress

as a woman for all I care.

Just don't drag me into it!

They're both my daughters,

one's own child, one's adopted.

One says I don't want to see her face.

The other says I don't want

to keep her next to me.

I have never harbored those intentions.

Why did they say that?

Yuan always says I am

her little miss angel.

And I have really tried my

best to be their angel.

Do you know?

Mickey!

Do you know that angels come in a pair?

From now on, will you let me be your angel?

You've misunderstood a

situation for a long time.

I didn't mean to rescue

you those years ago.

That day, when you were locked up

and abandoned in that

back alley by your enemy.

I saw the ugly luggage and

thought it was in the way.

Sol...

No matter what,

let's give Yuan Yuan

and Zhen Zhen a complete family.

Shall we?

You put the ring on the wrong hand.

It should be on my right.

Today's the competition,

Superman didn't come home last night.

Where is he?

Hello, yes speaking.

What did you say?

Where is Teh Si?

Don'! be rash, I'll be there right away!

Hey... didn't you say

you'll stay to help me?

Gosh.

Miss Mei Mei, did you forget

today's the competition?

Wanna buy my jerked meat

to take part in the competition?

I'm getting married.

Do you have anything to say to me?

Somebody still wants you at your age?

Congratulations...

Don'! you want to know who the groom is?

Does it matter who it is?

You're getting married,

the groom is not me.

Congratulations...

ls the boss of "Hao Han Bak Kwa" in?

Who?

Yes...

Me.

From the Public Health Department.

Yes sir...

I received complaints that

there were rats here.

You must be joking,

I've been here for so many years

and I've never seen a rat.

We sell jerked meat here, not rat meat.

We'll know only after checking.

Hey good-looking, I dropped my ring.

It's not convenient for me

to bend down and get it.

Can you help me please?

Please...

It's over there...

Look out for my diamond...

Be careful... it's expensive.

Have you found it?

Okay?

You're so kind, thank you.

What sound is that?

No, nothing.

Tum around and show me.

Did you hear me?

What is that?

Open up your mouth.

Open it up...

Open up your mouth.

I want you to open up your mouth.

I want you to open up your mouth right now!

Open your mouth! Now!

Open your mouth!

Two of you, open up your mouths!

Right now!

Can you not be so intimate in front of me?

I can't take it anymore!

You said there were no rats at here?

Teh Si!

Hello!

Teh Si!

Mickey Mouse?

So it was you who called me.

It was you who told where is Teh Si.

Where is Teh Si?

Our Little Miss Yuan Yuan

came home with crying last night.

With your palm print still on her face.

Defeat me and I'll let you go.

Let's begin!

Stand properly...

hold on, I'm not even perspiring yet.

Again!

This... the nose.

That's right, it'll be the nose.

You...

Teh Si...

Are you all right?

I'm all right.

At most, I lose my nose only.

I've already warned you.

You are to give 3 rubbers,

2 rulers and 1 sticker each week.

Why have you not given me yet?

Eyes, mouth or nose?

Are you all right?

I'm all right.

At most, I lose my nose only.

You mean you are the one who...

I'm her.

That's me.

You're awake.

Who are you?

Who exactly are you?

I'm sorry.

I'm Mei Mei's foster daughter,

lam Zhen Yuan Yuan.

I've been sent

by "Mei Mei Bak Kwa" as an undercover.

I know I look neither

like a man nor a woman.

But I like you!

Actually...

I have had someone in my

heart for a long time.

That's her.

Who is she?

That cute girl really looks like me.

Don'! move...

Superman.

It's me. Big sister.

Look at me.

You're all right now.

Where are the bad guys?

All the bad guys are gone.

Big sister.

Don'! move...

Although I'm injured,

Don'! move.

I can still protect you.

Lie down!

You don'! have to protect me anymore.

From now on, I will protect you.

Why are you the one protecting me?

You're hurt, of course big

sister will protect you.

But, I'm Superman

You're Superman, then I am Wonder woman!

I'm going to hit you...

The arm is bent.

I'll certainly win you.

The arm is bent?

It's okay, I'll beat you...

and bend the arm again

How dare you whack me?

There were some old men who

tried to take advantage of me.

When they groped me, they were shocked!

"King of jerked meat" What?

I counted, there were a

total of 17 of them.

Why? Gone speechless after winning

the "Bak Kwa King" competition?

Let me ask you, why were there rats?

Why was he disqualified?

I told you.

I will never let anyone bully you.

You!

You're back?

And we have guests?

Come... come have a seat.

Come... come this way...

Come sit over here...

Sit... come sit.

Come, come here...

Sit...

It's good that all of you are back.

I cooked a lot of dishes today.

Since you came back together,

have it while it's warm.

Infernal Affairs?

Actually, it's tough being a

spy and is very stressful.

I'm sure your health is not good.

See? How skinny are you.

Drink more.

This soup is suitable

for both man and woman.

Here.

Xiao Hu, you should try to drink less.

You have a lot of potential.

If one day, you are to

strike out on your own,

you will certainly succeed.

Drink!

Come.

Why? Got hurt?

I won'! ask,

but you must have gotten hurt

while saving someone, right?

Superman has to take care of many people.

So you need to learn how

to take care of yourself.

Understand?

Drink!

It's your first time come to my home.

I don't have much to offer.

Here, have some soup.

If you like it, you can

come over more often to have it.

Don'! stand on ceremony.

Since I'm going to be

very free from now on.

Try it.

Drink up.

Drink up everyone...

Look at the sumptuous spread today.

There's chicken, duck, fish, soup...

except bak kwa.

You guys must be the happiest, am I right?

There is something else

that will make you even happier.

We don'! have to sell jerked

meat in future anymore.

And you no longer have to

eat leftover jerked meat.

Happy...

Master.

There're decades ago when I first

learned to make jerked meat from you.

I bathed for 3 hours daily

with the most fragrant soap.

But there is still this smell on me.

Sometimes when I'm about to sleep,

I can even smell jerked meat on myself.

But today, they're telling me

they want to close down my shop.

They say I can'! sell jerked meat anymore.

I can no longer sell jerked meat.

I'm sorry, master, I'm sorry...

I have mined the business

you worked so hard for.

I'm sorry...

I'm a lousy disciple.

I'm a lousy person.

Just like what you said,

When the tree falls, the monkeys scatter!

When the leader falls,

his followers disperse.

We just like the tree has fallen,

the monkeys has scattered.

The tree has fallen, the

monkeys has scattered...

I'm sorry.

I caused "Hao Han Bak Kwa" to shut down.

No doubt I have won

the "Bak Kwa King" competition,

But I don’t feel good not being

able to compete with you.

I would like to challenge you one on one.

Forget it if you don'! want.

Your shop has been getting smaller,

your business is getting lesser.

Your customers are getting older,

you might as well shut it down.

What are you doing? You wretch.

You are disqualified

for the worshiping of Brother Wan.

Why can'! I?

So what if you won?

You won only because I wasn't competing.

If I was competing, would

you even stand a chance?

Oh really? Don'! just talk!

If you're man enough,

compete with me one on one.

Sure! Who's afraid who?

Without any publicity, nor packaging.

And no machinery.

Using only manual labour.

Sure, whoever does the best jerked meat

will be the King of Jerked Meat.

On...

We will soon reveal who the

King of Jerked Meat is.

Old customer will try

the jerked meat later.

Whoever he picks will be the winner.

Let the competition begin!

Dad, is this meat all right?

If you're skilled, you can

use any meat you like!

So what if you have good

facilities, but no skills,

you will still lose until you call mom.

Call mom...

Good...

When choosing meat, always select the best.

Choose meat imported from

Texas USA, Baytown Poultry.

Always be the first in what you do.

Don'! be like those who always lose.

Always the no. 1 loser...

When slicing, you must be fast and quick.

Slice it into two, clean and good.

Don'! be wishy-washy and draggy.

Not only must you be quick,

you must be sharp.

Be careful when you are

slicing, and do it slowly.

If not, you will cut your finger

and bring it to the grill.

And what comes out

will not be a slice of jerked meat.

But a stick of jerked meat.

What are you doing?

When marinating the meat, do it generously.

Only then will the meat

be properly marinated

and achieving consistency.

Unlike some people who look kind

but are evil on the inside.

Despicable and shameless!

I spit on you!

Spit...

Marinating takes time,

we'd need half an hour to season this

Nothing more, nothing less.

Only then will it be the best!

That's why I always say,

Research and development is very important!

What I’ve just said must sound

very complicated for some people.

My apologies.

Said enough? Start grilling!

Quick...

Are you blind?

Can't you see there's no more meat?

Okay...

You see...

he always likes to talk back to me.

Dad, have some water.

Water.

Okay done, smells good.

Bring the dish...

How can you be his dad?

Who are you?

What are you doing?

How could you keep scolding him?

Why not? He's my son,

none of your business!

Not only am I going to scold him,

I'm even going to beat him!

I'm going to shield him...

Come, let me wipe the sweat from your face.

Don'! beat him again.

Why don'! you wipe yourself instead?

There's no need to compete anymore.

It's burnt.

I said stop the competition!

I've lost.

Our sauces maybe the same,

but your tastes better.

You haven't even tried it,

how'd you know?

There isn't any secret family recipe.

The secret is when a family gets

together to make jerked meat.

True flavour can only be attained

when you grill bak kwa

together as a family.

You're the real Jerked Meat King.

Dad...

My business has been suspended anyway.

This no longer holds any

meaning for me anymore.

You can have it back.

Brother Hao!

Be careful!

Brother Hao!

Brother Hao! Are you all right?

Dad!

Get up!

Dad...

Are you okay?

I'm all right, don'! worry...

I'm just feeling a little cold...

Can you hold me tight?

Zhen Mei Mei!

You're disappointed me.

Go and die!

Dad!

Brother Hao!

Boss!

Dad, are you all right?

Dad!

Brother Hao, wake up!

Help him!

Are you okay?

I'm okay.

I learned 'steel head kung fu'

when I was young, I'm fine.

Mei Mei, I've been meaning to tell

you something for the past 28 years.

I'm going to tell you today.

Do you still love me?

I love you.

Please come in...

"Half a year later"

Please come in...

You look exactly like me.

Even though you've had plastic surgery,

you still resemble me.

Beautiful!

Doesn't that mean I've to go

for plastic surgery again?

I don't want to be a woman anymore.

I want to go back to being a man!

Nope, you said it before.

You will cross dress for as

long as I did the last time.

And your time is not up yet.

Is it nice?

Tastes great.

Are you happy?

Absolutely!

What flavour jerked meat is this?

Beer jerked meat!

Perfect Rivals (2011) - full transcript