Peacemaker (1990) - full transcript
Two aliens arrive on Earth trying to kill each other. This is not easy, since they seem to be able to regenerate lost body parts and survive bullet wounds. Both of them happen to meet a young pathologist Dori Caisson, and each alien tells her that he is a peacemaker (an intergalactic cop) and that the other one is a bad guy. Whom can she trust ?
It's cold!
God, I'm gonna freeze my
titties off.
Mmm!
Oh, trying to make up
to me now after
giving me all that...
-What was that?
-God, that sounded like
a small plane.
You're not going out there!
Yeah, they might need help.
-But you can't see anything!
-Look, just find a phone
and call an ambulance.
Call an ambulance, all right?
-Chris!
-Call an ambulance!
Chris?
Susan?
Susan!
Are you all right?
Hey, what happened?
Same guy came out of
the water.
Where? From the plane?
Where did he go? Hey!
I don't know.
Well, was he hurt or what?
I don't know and I don't care.
Can we get out of here,
please?
It's all right.
Don't be afraid.
Don't even breathe.
MAN: That was a round of fire.
Come on!
WOMAN: I'm on it!
Hey, it's over here!
Don't move, asshole!
-Let's go!
-Call it in.
Officer needs assistance.
Suspect is a male
Caucasian
wearing dark pants
and a jacket.
Last seen heading north...
-MAN: Hey, fool!
-Huh?
You done busted into
the wrong apartment now.
Freeze!
What the hell! Hey!
Somebody look under
his jacket.
What for?
See if he's got a blue suit
with a red "S" on his chest.
-What?
-I think we just killed
Clark Kent.
MAN ON RADIO: Scientists at
the Griffith Observatory
claim to have tracked
a meteorite high above
the Santa Monica coastline,
but are unable to determine
the meteorite's point
of impact at this time.
In the local news,
an unidentified suspect
was delivered to
Memorial County morgue
after being shot by
Los Angeles police officers
more than 20 times.
A spokesman for the department
claims that
the officers involved
have been suspended...
-Oh, evening, Dr. Caisson.
-Good evening, Moses.
Howdy, Doc. What's tonight's
blue plate special?
Tonight we have ground
round a la LAPD.
What was he doing?
Jaywalking?
No, he's a street mime.
That's his impression
of a colander.
What are we supposed
to do?
Check him for lead poisoning?
No, PCP.
I guess he was very
uncooperative when they
were trying to kill him.
Who was he?
Oh, who cares?
Your compassion for your
fellow man is truly
underwhelming.
Maybe so, but you don't
hear my patients complaining.
Oh, I saw Frank Ramos today.
He's a nice guy.
Hard working, dependable.
Thrifty, loyal, brave.
Come on, Dori, you can't be
a hermit the rest
of your life.
How long has it been?
Two years?
This is an old tune, Doc.
Play something new.
Well, just tell me why you
don't want to go out
with him.
You know why. He's a cop.
So, you fall off a horse,
you climb right back on.
Too old for pony rides.
Subject is a male Caucasian,
approximately...
30 years of age.
Probably very strong,
very healthy when he
was alive.
Multiple gunshot wounds
of different caliber appear
to have damaged
every major organ
in the body.
The epidermal tissue
damage is massive.
However, there are
no head wounds
other than the superficial
cuts to the cheeks
and forehead.
I will now make the first...
MAN: Excuse me, sir,
can I help you?
I'm Phillips. Homicide.
Looking for a recent John Doe.
Well, you'll have to wait.
He's in autopsy.
Autopsy...
Hey, you can't come in here!
And where's Dr. Caisson?
I wanna see your badge again.
You wanna see my badge,
dickhead?
Well, I got one too,
motherfucker.
Let 'em off, Townshend.
Oh, my God, that guy
tried to kill us.
Well, he tried to kill you,
which I can understand,
but why me?
Oh, please, don't hurt me.
I'll do whatever you say,
just don't...
Shut up!
I don't care anymore.
You understand me?
I don't care! You can kill me
if you want, but I am not
going with you anymore!
Okay, let's go.
What are you doing?
You want to go that way!
Away from the bullets!
Ow!
Look, uh...
What... What do you
want with me?
I don't have any money
and I'm a bum lay, so...
Besides, you should
be dead.
Oh, my God...
You were dead.
I saw you.
I should know.
That's my job.
I know dead when
I see it.
That... That's a television.
Tele...vision.
Yeah. Right.
That's a stereo.
Very expensive stereo.
That's a radio.
Ra...dio.
Yeah, that's right.
This is a telephone.
Yeah. I can call the police...
And they're gonna come
over with big guns
and blast the shit
out of you.
And this time you're
going to stay dead,
aren't you?
FEMALE OPERATOR:
Hello, you've reached
911, police emergency.
Hello, my name is
Dori Caisson...
FEMALE OPERATOR:
All of our lines are
busy at the moment,
but if you'll hold,
your call will be answered
in the order it was received.
Oh, I don't believe this shit!
Oh, wait a minute.
What are you going
to do with that?
MAN ON RADIO: Here is
an update to our earlier
report.
Scientists at the
Griffith Observatory
still believe they tracked
a meteorite earlier tonight
heading far out into
the Pacific Ocean.
However, an air traffic
controller at LAX
claims he picked up
the meteorite on his radar
after the observatory
lost sight of it.
And according to him,
the meteorite was falling
dangerously close
to the Santa Monica shoreline.
Dr. Alan, a spokesman
for the observatory,
claims that this 90 degree
change in direction
would have been completely
impossible.
More details as they occur.
Hey! Those are my husband's
clothes!
Yes, I'm sorry,
but I was cold.
I don't give a shit!
Those are my...
Wait a minute.
I thought you couldn't
understand me.
I couldn't.
Not until I listen to
all of your programs.
You learned to speak
English overnight?
Not really. I can mimic
what I hear,
but it is a very difficult
language to understand.
Oh, well, you're doing better
than the average high school
graduate.
You're, um...
You're not from around here,
are you?
No, I'm from another planet.
Why did I know you
were going to say that?
Because I saw you come
back from the dead.
That's why.
You thought I was dead?
But I hadn't even
decomposed.
What? You guys
decompose overnight?
No, it takes us 20 seconds.
20 seconds?
God, I'd be out of a job.
Doesn't your species
rejuvenate?
Well, you know, we handle
broken bones and hangnails
fairly well,
but bullet to the heart
and lungs, that's...
That's a killer.
We die only if we suffer
massive damage to
our brain.
Do you?
No, we just, um...
Go to work for the
department of motor vehicles.
That's a joke.
Humor. A joke.
Look, this is a really
strange conversation.
And, um, it's giving me
a real bad headache, so...
What do you say, Starman,
can we untie me now,
please?
Sure.
I'm sorry I had to do this,
but I needed to know
that I could trust you.
Get out of my way, or I'm
going to run you down.
I swear I will.
What do you want from me?
I need your help.
Why? What are you doing here?
And who is that guy that
tried to kill us last night?
He's why I need your help.
Please, take me back
to the ocean.
Back? I thought you said
you came from
outer space.
It's a long story.
Well, I'm a captive
audience, remember?
What's your name?
Dori. Dori Caisson.
I am Townshend.
Townshend?
Oh, Christ.
What's wrong with Townshend?
Oh, nothing. You know, I just
thought your name would be
Spock or Darth Vader
or something. Townshend...
MAN: Rise and shine, cow flop.
Why grandma,
what a big gun you have.
MAN 2: Face down on the floor
and keep your arms
away from your body.
You have the right
to remain silent.
-You have the right...
-And I have the right
to kick your ass,
unless you tell me
where the body is.
Listen, scumbag.
The floor's covered in blood,
and you're covered in blood,
but there's not a mark on ya.
Now, you're gonna give me
a straight answer,
or I'm gonna drive my
thumb through your eye.
Jesus Christ, McCarthy.
-Let Ramos and the detectives
handle this.
-Screw Ramos.
Let's you and I take
a quick look around
this place.
What do you say?
What do we do with him?
-McCarthy, find anything?
-No, not yet.
Keep on looking!
It's bound to be in here
somewhere.
What the hell was that?
Come on!
-You all right?
-Yeah, I'm fine.
-Did he get away?
-Yeah, but I don't know
how he broke those cuffs.
He didn't.
Underwater? Isn't that kind
of a strange place to park?
My rover is airtight.
But I'm afraid the tide will
eventually draw it out to sea.
And then I'll be stranded.
Well, couldn't your,
you know, people,
rescue you?
We've never been out
of our own solar system.
Well, then you should leave
right away.
First I have to find Yates.
He's the man from last night?
He's a serial killer.
He escaped in
a planet rover.
I went after him,
but we got caught in
a black hole that
somehow dumped us here.
I had to crash land
in the water.
I thought I'd lost him till
we saw him in
the hospital.
Well, then how come when he
came right up to the car you
didn't even recognize him?
-I don't know.
-How are you going
to find him?
-I don't know.
-Then what do you
want with me?
I need you to help me
find my activator card.
It engages the rover's
anti-gravity boosters.
Wait a minute. Are you
telling me you can't leave
because you lost
your car keys?
Well, uh...
Yes.
This is Candid Camera,
right?
Tell me you're Allen Funt.
No. I am a peacemaker.
What you call
a police officer.
You're a cop? A cop?
What's wrong with cops?
Oh, boy, I'm getting
another headache here.
Maybe you should
see a doctor.
-That's not funny.
-Funny?
You weren't pulling my leg?
Is that a form of
communication?
No, it's a form of a joke.
Remember? A joke?
What's a joke?
Scented toilet paper.
-These are... Chili dogs.
-Mmm-hmm.
But they're warm.
Not chilly, chili.
I thought that dogs
were pets.
Well, these are beef.
You know, from cows.
We just call them dogs.
Why?
I don't know. Like you said,
it's a very difficult language
to understand.
Get down!
I...
I think that was just
a car backfiring.
Yes.
I realize now that I was
wrong to ask you for help.
It's far too dangerous.
No... I mean, it's all right.
I want to help.
Really.
Well, I guess we better
move before somebody
comes
and hoses us down.
I'm sorry if I frightened you.
I was only trying
to protect you.
Well, you did.
You kept me from eating
that chili dog, didn't you?
Ramos.
Hello, Frank?
This is Doc over
at the morgue.
Hey, Doc.
What can I do you?
Our security guard had
a run-in with an intruder
last night
and now I can't get Dori
on the phone.
You think she's in trouble?
I don't really know.
-Okay, I'll check it out
for you.
-Thanks.
Bye.
-Rieger.
-Yo.
Right behind you.
So, you could have dropped
this car thing anywhere
during your skirmish
with the police.
Yes. I'm afraid so.
Why are they after you
anyway? What'd you do?
Nothing.
They were just chasing you
for no reason?
Maybe I just look suspicious.
You? Nah.
You know what? The cops
might have found your
card thingy...
Townshend.
Dori? Dori, it's Frank,
open up.
-You okay?
-Yeah, I just...
I hurt my head.
Look at me.
He's going out the side.
Take care of Dori.
I'll get the asshole.
This is Unit 9 in pursuit
of two perps.
Male Caucasian heading south.
Both suspects are on foot.
Hey, watch out!
Oh, man.
Hey... Hey!
Hey, that's my bike!
This is Ramos, Unit 9.
Get the hell out of my way.
All right, maggots,
here's where I nail your balls
to the trophy case.
Jesus Christ.
Who the fuck were those guys?
Aliens from another world.
Come on, Dori.
Intergalactic cops
and robbers who
come back from the dead?
No, that's not what I said.
I said they have a highly
accelerated regenerating
system
that enables them to suffer
massive shock trauma
without dying.
Oh.
Well, that's, uh...
Different.
Come on, Frank.
If you don't believe me,
let's go to the beach
and find his ship.
You mean the one
that's under the water?
The one you never
actually saw?
How about the fact that
you didn't find their bodies?
Doesn't that prove anything?
Yeah. That a shack full
of dynamite is hazardous
to your health.
That's a good one, Sergeant.
That's good.
We didn't find any bodies
because we didn't expect to.
They're dead.
You understand that?
He's dead.
No one could have survived
that explosion.
No, I guess not.
And before you shed too many
tears for this guy,
you should know that he
tried to steal a riot gun
from the squad car.
And when the officer caught
him, your alien friend threw
him through the windshield.
Oh, my God.
Broke his goddamn hip.
Good friends you have,
good friends.
Look, you've been through
a lot, huh?
Why don't I buy you dinner
and maybe a drink
or something? Help you relax.
Look, I just want to get into
a nice hot bath.
Okay.
But you got to promise
to wash my back.
That's a good one!
What are you,
the cheering section?
No wonder everyone calls
you Eager Rieger.
Now, what the fuck's
that supposed to mean?
You're the detective,
figure it out.
You know something,
you're a...
Hey. Hey, that's enough here
you two, huh?
Come on, everybody out.
Clear out here.
Just remember, Rieger.
The only difference
between a brownnose
and a shithead is
depth perception.
Fuck you.
Why do you gotta be like that?
Why does he have to be
such an idiot?
And why do you have to
hit on me all the time?
Force of habit I guess.
Yeah, well, if you don't mind,
I'd like to skip our usual
mating ritual for tonight.
I'm...
I'm really beat.
Okay.
Tonight you're off the hook.
But next time...
I'm coming on twice
as strong.
God help me.
I'm gonna have
a black and white
take you home, okay?
-And then I'll check on you
in the morning.
-Okay. Thanks.
You're a sweetheart.
Yeah.
You know, I know why
you won't go out with me.
You can't stand that I'm
a confirmed bachelor.
Yeah, just like your father.
Rieger, call the motor pool,
get me another car.
There you are, ma'am.
-Thanks a lot. Good night.
-Good night.
Yates...
Give me an excuse and
I'll give you a .38 caliber
lobotomy.
Put those on.
Now kneel down and
put your hands
behind your head.
Where's Dr. Caisson?
I don't know.
That's the wrong answer.
Let's try again.
Where is she?
There you go.
Safe and sound.
You call this safe?
You are wearing a seatbelt
aren't you?
What, is that supposed
to be funny?
Yeah, it is.
I don't have the hang
of this humor thing yet,
though.
We don't have it where
I come from.
Yeah, I know.
Townshend told me.
He speaking English
already?
That means I don't have
much time.
Time for what?
What do you want
with me?
-You're the bait.
-What for?
If you're an escaped convict,
why don't you just escape?
Convict? Is that what
he told you?
What else did he say?
Did he tell you that we're
from some place...
Far away?
Damn, we've kept it
a secret all this time.
"We"?
What do you mean,
there are more of you
here on Earth?
Hundreds of us.
But Townshend said that it
was just the two of you.
That you both crashed here
the other night.
He crashed here
the other night.
Now I've got to rejuvenate
before he arrives.
If there are so many of you,
then why do you have
to face him alone?
It's my job.
I'm a peacemaker.
This is just too weird.
All right, doctor,
just hear me out.
That's all I ask.
Okay.
Follow me.
All right, one,
if Townshend and I
both arrived here
at the same time,
why was only one meteorite
spotted by LAX radar in
the observatory?
Where was my ship?
Two,
if Townshend's chasing me,
why didn't he recognize me
at the hospital parking lot?
And three,
how did I find your house?
I looked you up in the
telephone book.
I read your language.
I've been here 20 years.
Oh, God, I'm getting another
headache.
Okay, and just
one other thing.
If I'm a psychotic murderer,
why didn't I kill you both
when I had the chance?
Either at the parking lot
or your living room.
Because you're not a killer.
You're a peacemaker.
That's correct.
And I'm a sucker.
No, you're not.
Townshend's slick
and an excellent liar.
Yeah.
Why do you send
your people here in
the first place?
Your government does
the same thing.
Witnesses are often given
a new identity.
Relocated to a new city,
sometimes a new country.
We've just taken it
to the next logical step.
-Relocation to a new planet.
-That's correct.
Now Townshend is here
to kill one of them.
Well, how do you plan
to stop him?
By shooting him with as many
of these drugged bullets
as I can.
It takes a few seconds,
but it'll get to his brain.
And that's going to
slow him down?
It's the only thing that saved
me back at your place.
Your planet's gravity is only
half as great as mine.
Do you understand what
that means, doctor?
Well, yeah. It means that
you're stronger and faster
than us.
The same way our astronauts
are stronger and faster
on the moon.
Exactly.
But over the years I've
adapted to your gravity.
Which means that I'm just
about as weak as you.
If I hadn't shot Townshend
when I did, he would have
torn me apart.
Doctor.
Does Townshend have a
black metallic punch card?
Not anymore. He lost it
that first night.
That explains why he still
needs you.
If he can't find that card,
he can't find his victim.
It's a relocation ID badge.
Say goodbye.
No!
Come on,
let's get out of here.
No, I have to catch him
before he rejuvenates.
Look, you can catch a cold
right now. Let's get the hell
out of here.
Where to?
-My place.
-I thought you'd never ask.
Nice place
you got here, Yates.
Really got the "condemned".
Be it ever so rat infested...
There's no place like home.
-Uh, can I get you anything,
or...
-No.
No.
I'll be fine just as soon
as I relax and rejuvenate.
Well, you just go right ahead.
Don't mind me.
It's not that easy.
I think I blew it.
Townshend's out there
somewhere and I don't know
who he's after.
Yeah, well... You know,
I think I might know
where that card is.
-Where?
-Relax. If I'm right,
you can't go with me.
I've got to go alone.
No, I can't let you go.
It's too dangerous.
Look, you're not strong enough
to stop me.
Now just lie back
and rest.
I'm taking your keys
and I'll be back in an hour.
-Doctor...
-Now look, call me Dori.
Dori...
Be careful.
He's still out there.
Yeah, but he's most likely
drugged and unconscious,
right?
If anything happened to you,
I wouldn't forgive myself.
I'm a big girl,
I can take care of myself.
My daughter's a big girl, too,
but I worry about her
all the time.
You have a daughter?
Back on my home planet.
I can see you as
a father.
I just want to return you
safely to yours.
Don't worry.
I'm going to be fine.
-Get those reports from
the lab on Ferguson.
-Ferguson?
DORI: Good evening, Moses.
Oh, Dr. Caisson,
you all right?
Yeah, sure.
-How about you?
-Oh, sure...
I would have killed that
son of a bitch if he
hadn't sucker punched me.
So, is there anyone in there?
Well, I don't know.
I just came on.
-Okay, thanks, I'm just gonna
go get my purse.
-Sure.
Okay.
It's me, Townshend.
It's all right. You're safe.
I can't believe you
got away from Yates.
Yeah.
I even stole his car.
Good. Where is he now?
I don't know.
-Did he say anything?
-No. No. Not a word.
He probably hasn't learned
your language yet.
All right, let's go.
Where to? Back to my place?
No, it's too dangerous.
Yates knows where you live.
We must find temporary
accommodations.
You mean like a motel?
Yes, a motel.
That's it. Let's go.
Okay.
This is not good.
I only have...
Six shells left.
-Dori, what are you doing?
-Yates told me all about you.
-Put down the gun.
-Don't make me shoot you.
I don't know what Yates
told you, but...
-He told me the truth.
-I told you the truth.
He's an escaped murderer.
Then why didn't he kill you
when he had the chance?
Maybe he needs me alive
for some reason.
Maybe his rover is disabled
and he needs mine to escape.
Then why didn't you recognize
him at the hospital?
-Dori...
-Don't!
How old would you say
that I am?
I don't know... 30.
And Yates?
50 maybe.
I am two years older than him.
Somehow, when we went
through that black hole,
it aged Yates 20 years.
That's why I didn't
recognize him.
Yeah, right. Then why didn't
it age you?
I don't know.
Maybe we went through
a time-space continuum
worm hole.
What? What the hell is
that supposed to mean?
I don't know! I'm not
a scientist, all right?
-You'll just have to trust me.
-Yeah, fat chance.
Then you'll just have
to kill me.
I will.
I'll kill you if I have to.
You didn't shoot.
Yeah, I just remembered
that aliens were
out of season.
What are we doing?
We're getting ready to mate.
Mate?
That's the word they used
on Wild Kingdom.
-Is it wrong?
-No.
No, it's fine, it's...
It's just, uh...
Look, don't get me wrong,
I'm all for interracial
relationships,
but interspecies is
a little too progressive
for me.
Dori.
You've seen me naked.
-Am I anatomically incorrect?
-No.
God, no.
Then what's the matter?
You're a cop.
-A peacemaker.
-It's the same thing.
You're all a bunch of
unreliable macho jerks.
Believe me, I know.
I was married to one.
-Dori...
-Look...
I like you...
More than I should,
but I don't think you're
going to be alive very long.
I just can't go through
that again, I'm sorry.
I just can't.
Yates.
He must have spent
that first night in
the library.
No wonder Yates can
speak English.
DORI: Mmm.
Talk about your
close encounters.
-Dori.
-Hmm?
Look at me.
You are gorgeous.
-What about me?
-You're gorgeous, too.
But that's not why
I woke you.
I need money for new clothes.
I saw a shop down the street
that has men's clothing
in the window.
Aw, and the bullet holes
in your outfit are so gauche.
Oh, honey, that's a joke.
I used the rest of my cash
for the room,
but you can use this.
You just hand it to the clerk.
Try and be ready by
the time I get back.
I think I know where
my activator card is.
I almost forgot!
-You have it?
-I have!
It was at the morgue.
I knew it.
Oh, is that what you
were doing there?
Yes, but I couldn't find it.
Here I flattered myself,
you were looking for me.
When I get back
you can lead me to Yates.
You're welcome.
Rieger.
Hold on just for a moment.
Sarge!
-It's your Dr. Caisson.
-Get a trace.
-Dori, where are you?
-I thought you might
be worried about me.
You're damn right I'm worried
about you. Now, where are you?
Frank, it's all right,
I'm safe.
You're not safe.
Is that space cadet with you?
Not at the moment.
Honey, please, wherever
you are, get out of there
before he comes back.
Frank, I'm telling you
I'm all right.
Your spaceman went to
the morgue last night
looking for something.
-Yeah?
-Doc walked in on him.
He's dead.
What?
Whatever this guy was
looking for, he tried
to torture it out of Doc.
Seventeen years on the force,
I've never seen
anything like it.
This guy makes
the Night Stalker
look like
Albert Schweitzer.
He's an absolute
certifiable psychopath.
Now, where the fuck are you?
The Gate Six Motel on
Century Boulevard in Room 8.
I'm on my way.
Now hang up the phone
and get out of there.
-Reiger!
-Yo.
We're on it.
Going somewhere?
OFFICER: Can we get four guys
on that?
Get down behind that.
All right, let him through!
Move, move, let's go!
Watch that door!
-You guys ready?
-Yeah, the entire motel
is completely evacuated.
You, in the room.
In exactly one minute,
you're going to be up
to your butt in tear gas.
Frank!
It's Dori. Goddamn it!
Settle down!
Don't do that again, Dori.
30 seconds.
Face it, Townshend, it's over.
No, you face it.
-We're getting out of here,
and you're taking me to Yates.
-How?
They have every exit covered.
RAMOS: 20 seconds!
Not every exit.
10! Fuck it, go get him.
Sergeant Ramos.
He broke through the wall,
room to room,
all the way down to
the manager's office,
and then out into the street.
Jesus Christ.
Who is this guy?
-Get out of the van!
-What?
Oh, my God! It's Frank!
Dori!
Oh, shit!
Dori!
Wait!
Townshend's right behind me!
The gun!
Drop the shotgun, Townshend.
Or I'll blow her brains out.
What?
I mean it.
I know.
And you don't care?
-No.
-Well, then...
All right!
Throw it here.
You had a handgun, Townshend.
Where is it?
I lost it when I was
hit by a van.
I thought you looked
a little run down.
A joke.
Turn around.
Open your jacket.
Ooh, that's
a nasty looking scar.
Where'd you get it?
When I was hit by the van.
Seems to be healing nicely.
Where's the card?
I don't have it!
I can see that, asshole.
Where is it?
I don't know!
Don't make me get nasty,
Townshend.
That fat ass at the morgue
made me get nasty.
He lived to regret it.
For as long as he lived,
that is.
DORI: Oh, my God.
How?
If Townshend's telling
the truth, how can you
live in this apartment?
How can you own a car?
How can you know our language
and our customs
so much better than him
if you both got here
the same night?
Because, you stupid bitch,
we went through a black hole.
We entered on our side of
the universe at the exact
same time,
but we came out on this side
20 years apart.
-What?
-What?
I guess all the theories
about time traveling
black holes are correct.
Now, I've been trapped
on this piece of shit planet
for long enough.
Where's the fucking card?
I don't have it!
No, wait! Wait, I've got it!
Dori, no!
It's right here in my purse.
Look, just please...
Take it. Take it.
Take that!
Come on!
Come on.
Okay.
No!
Shit!
No...
You earned this, bitch.
So, what you're saying is that
the other suspect was killed
in the explosion at
the construction site.
Well, this guy's the only body
you found here, right?
Look, somehow he was
thrown clear and he came
back to my house,
he kidnapped me,
and he brought me here.
And you managed to get
the gun, the shotgun,
and kill him?
Yeah.
Tell me something, Dori.
You still don't believe
that...
These guys were from
outer space, do you?
Obviously I was still
in a state of shock
when I told you that.
Obviously.
So, what were they?
-Some kind of PCP freaks,
something like that?
-Yeah, probably.
I think they kidnapped me
in some misguided attempt
to obtain prescription drugs.
Let me tell you, Dori,
that this is the most
bogus statement that
I've ever heard.
Maybe so, but that's
my story...
And I'm sticking to it.
Yeah.
I can live with that.
Surf's up.
What do you do,
you just dive in
and swim to your ship?
Yes.
You know, it might not even
be there anymore.
I know.
Even if it is there,
you don't know for sure
how to get back.
No.
You could die out there...
Alone in space.
Maybe.
But you're still going.
Yes.
Why?
Because I'm a peacemaker.
You mean a macho
asshole cop.
Yes, that's what I mean.
God, I wish I could think
of something really funny
to say right now.
Why?
I wouldn't
understand it anyway.
No, I guess not.
Bye.
God, I'm gonna freeze my
titties off.
Mmm!
Oh, trying to make up
to me now after
giving me all that...
-What was that?
-God, that sounded like
a small plane.
You're not going out there!
Yeah, they might need help.
-But you can't see anything!
-Look, just find a phone
and call an ambulance.
Call an ambulance, all right?
-Chris!
-Call an ambulance!
Chris?
Susan?
Susan!
Are you all right?
Hey, what happened?
Same guy came out of
the water.
Where? From the plane?
Where did he go? Hey!
I don't know.
Well, was he hurt or what?
I don't know and I don't care.
Can we get out of here,
please?
It's all right.
Don't be afraid.
Don't even breathe.
MAN: That was a round of fire.
Come on!
WOMAN: I'm on it!
Hey, it's over here!
Don't move, asshole!
-Let's go!
-Call it in.
Officer needs assistance.
Suspect is a male
Caucasian
wearing dark pants
and a jacket.
Last seen heading north...
-MAN: Hey, fool!
-Huh?
You done busted into
the wrong apartment now.
Freeze!
What the hell! Hey!
Somebody look under
his jacket.
What for?
See if he's got a blue suit
with a red "S" on his chest.
-What?
-I think we just killed
Clark Kent.
MAN ON RADIO: Scientists at
the Griffith Observatory
claim to have tracked
a meteorite high above
the Santa Monica coastline,
but are unable to determine
the meteorite's point
of impact at this time.
In the local news,
an unidentified suspect
was delivered to
Memorial County morgue
after being shot by
Los Angeles police officers
more than 20 times.
A spokesman for the department
claims that
the officers involved
have been suspended...
-Oh, evening, Dr. Caisson.
-Good evening, Moses.
Howdy, Doc. What's tonight's
blue plate special?
Tonight we have ground
round a la LAPD.
What was he doing?
Jaywalking?
No, he's a street mime.
That's his impression
of a colander.
What are we supposed
to do?
Check him for lead poisoning?
No, PCP.
I guess he was very
uncooperative when they
were trying to kill him.
Who was he?
Oh, who cares?
Your compassion for your
fellow man is truly
underwhelming.
Maybe so, but you don't
hear my patients complaining.
Oh, I saw Frank Ramos today.
He's a nice guy.
Hard working, dependable.
Thrifty, loyal, brave.
Come on, Dori, you can't be
a hermit the rest
of your life.
How long has it been?
Two years?
This is an old tune, Doc.
Play something new.
Well, just tell me why you
don't want to go out
with him.
You know why. He's a cop.
So, you fall off a horse,
you climb right back on.
Too old for pony rides.
Subject is a male Caucasian,
approximately...
30 years of age.
Probably very strong,
very healthy when he
was alive.
Multiple gunshot wounds
of different caliber appear
to have damaged
every major organ
in the body.
The epidermal tissue
damage is massive.
However, there are
no head wounds
other than the superficial
cuts to the cheeks
and forehead.
I will now make the first...
MAN: Excuse me, sir,
can I help you?
I'm Phillips. Homicide.
Looking for a recent John Doe.
Well, you'll have to wait.
He's in autopsy.
Autopsy...
Hey, you can't come in here!
And where's Dr. Caisson?
I wanna see your badge again.
You wanna see my badge,
dickhead?
Well, I got one too,
motherfucker.
Let 'em off, Townshend.
Oh, my God, that guy
tried to kill us.
Well, he tried to kill you,
which I can understand,
but why me?
Oh, please, don't hurt me.
I'll do whatever you say,
just don't...
Shut up!
I don't care anymore.
You understand me?
I don't care! You can kill me
if you want, but I am not
going with you anymore!
Okay, let's go.
What are you doing?
You want to go that way!
Away from the bullets!
Ow!
Look, uh...
What... What do you
want with me?
I don't have any money
and I'm a bum lay, so...
Besides, you should
be dead.
Oh, my God...
You were dead.
I saw you.
I should know.
That's my job.
I know dead when
I see it.
That... That's a television.
Tele...vision.
Yeah. Right.
That's a stereo.
Very expensive stereo.
That's a radio.
Ra...dio.
Yeah, that's right.
This is a telephone.
Yeah. I can call the police...
And they're gonna come
over with big guns
and blast the shit
out of you.
And this time you're
going to stay dead,
aren't you?
FEMALE OPERATOR:
Hello, you've reached
911, police emergency.
Hello, my name is
Dori Caisson...
FEMALE OPERATOR:
All of our lines are
busy at the moment,
but if you'll hold,
your call will be answered
in the order it was received.
Oh, I don't believe this shit!
Oh, wait a minute.
What are you going
to do with that?
MAN ON RADIO: Here is
an update to our earlier
report.
Scientists at the
Griffith Observatory
still believe they tracked
a meteorite earlier tonight
heading far out into
the Pacific Ocean.
However, an air traffic
controller at LAX
claims he picked up
the meteorite on his radar
after the observatory
lost sight of it.
And according to him,
the meteorite was falling
dangerously close
to the Santa Monica shoreline.
Dr. Alan, a spokesman
for the observatory,
claims that this 90 degree
change in direction
would have been completely
impossible.
More details as they occur.
Hey! Those are my husband's
clothes!
Yes, I'm sorry,
but I was cold.
I don't give a shit!
Those are my...
Wait a minute.
I thought you couldn't
understand me.
I couldn't.
Not until I listen to
all of your programs.
You learned to speak
English overnight?
Not really. I can mimic
what I hear,
but it is a very difficult
language to understand.
Oh, well, you're doing better
than the average high school
graduate.
You're, um...
You're not from around here,
are you?
No, I'm from another planet.
Why did I know you
were going to say that?
Because I saw you come
back from the dead.
That's why.
You thought I was dead?
But I hadn't even
decomposed.
What? You guys
decompose overnight?
No, it takes us 20 seconds.
20 seconds?
God, I'd be out of a job.
Doesn't your species
rejuvenate?
Well, you know, we handle
broken bones and hangnails
fairly well,
but bullet to the heart
and lungs, that's...
That's a killer.
We die only if we suffer
massive damage to
our brain.
Do you?
No, we just, um...
Go to work for the
department of motor vehicles.
That's a joke.
Humor. A joke.
Look, this is a really
strange conversation.
And, um, it's giving me
a real bad headache, so...
What do you say, Starman,
can we untie me now,
please?
Sure.
I'm sorry I had to do this,
but I needed to know
that I could trust you.
Get out of my way, or I'm
going to run you down.
I swear I will.
What do you want from me?
I need your help.
Why? What are you doing here?
And who is that guy that
tried to kill us last night?
He's why I need your help.
Please, take me back
to the ocean.
Back? I thought you said
you came from
outer space.
It's a long story.
Well, I'm a captive
audience, remember?
What's your name?
Dori. Dori Caisson.
I am Townshend.
Townshend?
Oh, Christ.
What's wrong with Townshend?
Oh, nothing. You know, I just
thought your name would be
Spock or Darth Vader
or something. Townshend...
MAN: Rise and shine, cow flop.
Why grandma,
what a big gun you have.
MAN 2: Face down on the floor
and keep your arms
away from your body.
You have the right
to remain silent.
-You have the right...
-And I have the right
to kick your ass,
unless you tell me
where the body is.
Listen, scumbag.
The floor's covered in blood,
and you're covered in blood,
but there's not a mark on ya.
Now, you're gonna give me
a straight answer,
or I'm gonna drive my
thumb through your eye.
Jesus Christ, McCarthy.
-Let Ramos and the detectives
handle this.
-Screw Ramos.
Let's you and I take
a quick look around
this place.
What do you say?
What do we do with him?
-McCarthy, find anything?
-No, not yet.
Keep on looking!
It's bound to be in here
somewhere.
What the hell was that?
Come on!
-You all right?
-Yeah, I'm fine.
-Did he get away?
-Yeah, but I don't know
how he broke those cuffs.
He didn't.
Underwater? Isn't that kind
of a strange place to park?
My rover is airtight.
But I'm afraid the tide will
eventually draw it out to sea.
And then I'll be stranded.
Well, couldn't your,
you know, people,
rescue you?
We've never been out
of our own solar system.
Well, then you should leave
right away.
First I have to find Yates.
He's the man from last night?
He's a serial killer.
He escaped in
a planet rover.
I went after him,
but we got caught in
a black hole that
somehow dumped us here.
I had to crash land
in the water.
I thought I'd lost him till
we saw him in
the hospital.
Well, then how come when he
came right up to the car you
didn't even recognize him?
-I don't know.
-How are you going
to find him?
-I don't know.
-Then what do you
want with me?
I need you to help me
find my activator card.
It engages the rover's
anti-gravity boosters.
Wait a minute. Are you
telling me you can't leave
because you lost
your car keys?
Well, uh...
Yes.
This is Candid Camera,
right?
Tell me you're Allen Funt.
No. I am a peacemaker.
What you call
a police officer.
You're a cop? A cop?
What's wrong with cops?
Oh, boy, I'm getting
another headache here.
Maybe you should
see a doctor.
-That's not funny.
-Funny?
You weren't pulling my leg?
Is that a form of
communication?
No, it's a form of a joke.
Remember? A joke?
What's a joke?
Scented toilet paper.
-These are... Chili dogs.
-Mmm-hmm.
But they're warm.
Not chilly, chili.
I thought that dogs
were pets.
Well, these are beef.
You know, from cows.
We just call them dogs.
Why?
I don't know. Like you said,
it's a very difficult language
to understand.
Get down!
I...
I think that was just
a car backfiring.
Yes.
I realize now that I was
wrong to ask you for help.
It's far too dangerous.
No... I mean, it's all right.
I want to help.
Really.
Well, I guess we better
move before somebody
comes
and hoses us down.
I'm sorry if I frightened you.
I was only trying
to protect you.
Well, you did.
You kept me from eating
that chili dog, didn't you?
Ramos.
Hello, Frank?
This is Doc over
at the morgue.
Hey, Doc.
What can I do you?
Our security guard had
a run-in with an intruder
last night
and now I can't get Dori
on the phone.
You think she's in trouble?
I don't really know.
-Okay, I'll check it out
for you.
-Thanks.
Bye.
-Rieger.
-Yo.
Right behind you.
So, you could have dropped
this car thing anywhere
during your skirmish
with the police.
Yes. I'm afraid so.
Why are they after you
anyway? What'd you do?
Nothing.
They were just chasing you
for no reason?
Maybe I just look suspicious.
You? Nah.
You know what? The cops
might have found your
card thingy...
Townshend.
Dori? Dori, it's Frank,
open up.
-You okay?
-Yeah, I just...
I hurt my head.
Look at me.
He's going out the side.
Take care of Dori.
I'll get the asshole.
This is Unit 9 in pursuit
of two perps.
Male Caucasian heading south.
Both suspects are on foot.
Hey, watch out!
Oh, man.
Hey... Hey!
Hey, that's my bike!
This is Ramos, Unit 9.
Get the hell out of my way.
All right, maggots,
here's where I nail your balls
to the trophy case.
Jesus Christ.
Who the fuck were those guys?
Aliens from another world.
Come on, Dori.
Intergalactic cops
and robbers who
come back from the dead?
No, that's not what I said.
I said they have a highly
accelerated regenerating
system
that enables them to suffer
massive shock trauma
without dying.
Oh.
Well, that's, uh...
Different.
Come on, Frank.
If you don't believe me,
let's go to the beach
and find his ship.
You mean the one
that's under the water?
The one you never
actually saw?
How about the fact that
you didn't find their bodies?
Doesn't that prove anything?
Yeah. That a shack full
of dynamite is hazardous
to your health.
That's a good one, Sergeant.
That's good.
We didn't find any bodies
because we didn't expect to.
They're dead.
You understand that?
He's dead.
No one could have survived
that explosion.
No, I guess not.
And before you shed too many
tears for this guy,
you should know that he
tried to steal a riot gun
from the squad car.
And when the officer caught
him, your alien friend threw
him through the windshield.
Oh, my God.
Broke his goddamn hip.
Good friends you have,
good friends.
Look, you've been through
a lot, huh?
Why don't I buy you dinner
and maybe a drink
or something? Help you relax.
Look, I just want to get into
a nice hot bath.
Okay.
But you got to promise
to wash my back.
That's a good one!
What are you,
the cheering section?
No wonder everyone calls
you Eager Rieger.
Now, what the fuck's
that supposed to mean?
You're the detective,
figure it out.
You know something,
you're a...
Hey. Hey, that's enough here
you two, huh?
Come on, everybody out.
Clear out here.
Just remember, Rieger.
The only difference
between a brownnose
and a shithead is
depth perception.
Fuck you.
Why do you gotta be like that?
Why does he have to be
such an idiot?
And why do you have to
hit on me all the time?
Force of habit I guess.
Yeah, well, if you don't mind,
I'd like to skip our usual
mating ritual for tonight.
I'm...
I'm really beat.
Okay.
Tonight you're off the hook.
But next time...
I'm coming on twice
as strong.
God help me.
I'm gonna have
a black and white
take you home, okay?
-And then I'll check on you
in the morning.
-Okay. Thanks.
You're a sweetheart.
Yeah.
You know, I know why
you won't go out with me.
You can't stand that I'm
a confirmed bachelor.
Yeah, just like your father.
Rieger, call the motor pool,
get me another car.
There you are, ma'am.
-Thanks a lot. Good night.
-Good night.
Yates...
Give me an excuse and
I'll give you a .38 caliber
lobotomy.
Put those on.
Now kneel down and
put your hands
behind your head.
Where's Dr. Caisson?
I don't know.
That's the wrong answer.
Let's try again.
Where is she?
There you go.
Safe and sound.
You call this safe?
You are wearing a seatbelt
aren't you?
What, is that supposed
to be funny?
Yeah, it is.
I don't have the hang
of this humor thing yet,
though.
We don't have it where
I come from.
Yeah, I know.
Townshend told me.
He speaking English
already?
That means I don't have
much time.
Time for what?
What do you want
with me?
-You're the bait.
-What for?
If you're an escaped convict,
why don't you just escape?
Convict? Is that what
he told you?
What else did he say?
Did he tell you that we're
from some place...
Far away?
Damn, we've kept it
a secret all this time.
"We"?
What do you mean,
there are more of you
here on Earth?
Hundreds of us.
But Townshend said that it
was just the two of you.
That you both crashed here
the other night.
He crashed here
the other night.
Now I've got to rejuvenate
before he arrives.
If there are so many of you,
then why do you have
to face him alone?
It's my job.
I'm a peacemaker.
This is just too weird.
All right, doctor,
just hear me out.
That's all I ask.
Okay.
Follow me.
All right, one,
if Townshend and I
both arrived here
at the same time,
why was only one meteorite
spotted by LAX radar in
the observatory?
Where was my ship?
Two,
if Townshend's chasing me,
why didn't he recognize me
at the hospital parking lot?
And three,
how did I find your house?
I looked you up in the
telephone book.
I read your language.
I've been here 20 years.
Oh, God, I'm getting another
headache.
Okay, and just
one other thing.
If I'm a psychotic murderer,
why didn't I kill you both
when I had the chance?
Either at the parking lot
or your living room.
Because you're not a killer.
You're a peacemaker.
That's correct.
And I'm a sucker.
No, you're not.
Townshend's slick
and an excellent liar.
Yeah.
Why do you send
your people here in
the first place?
Your government does
the same thing.
Witnesses are often given
a new identity.
Relocated to a new city,
sometimes a new country.
We've just taken it
to the next logical step.
-Relocation to a new planet.
-That's correct.
Now Townshend is here
to kill one of them.
Well, how do you plan
to stop him?
By shooting him with as many
of these drugged bullets
as I can.
It takes a few seconds,
but it'll get to his brain.
And that's going to
slow him down?
It's the only thing that saved
me back at your place.
Your planet's gravity is only
half as great as mine.
Do you understand what
that means, doctor?
Well, yeah. It means that
you're stronger and faster
than us.
The same way our astronauts
are stronger and faster
on the moon.
Exactly.
But over the years I've
adapted to your gravity.
Which means that I'm just
about as weak as you.
If I hadn't shot Townshend
when I did, he would have
torn me apart.
Doctor.
Does Townshend have a
black metallic punch card?
Not anymore. He lost it
that first night.
That explains why he still
needs you.
If he can't find that card,
he can't find his victim.
It's a relocation ID badge.
Say goodbye.
No!
Come on,
let's get out of here.
No, I have to catch him
before he rejuvenates.
Look, you can catch a cold
right now. Let's get the hell
out of here.
Where to?
-My place.
-I thought you'd never ask.
Nice place
you got here, Yates.
Really got the "condemned".
Be it ever so rat infested...
There's no place like home.
-Uh, can I get you anything,
or...
-No.
No.
I'll be fine just as soon
as I relax and rejuvenate.
Well, you just go right ahead.
Don't mind me.
It's not that easy.
I think I blew it.
Townshend's out there
somewhere and I don't know
who he's after.
Yeah, well... You know,
I think I might know
where that card is.
-Where?
-Relax. If I'm right,
you can't go with me.
I've got to go alone.
No, I can't let you go.
It's too dangerous.
Look, you're not strong enough
to stop me.
Now just lie back
and rest.
I'm taking your keys
and I'll be back in an hour.
-Doctor...
-Now look, call me Dori.
Dori...
Be careful.
He's still out there.
Yeah, but he's most likely
drugged and unconscious,
right?
If anything happened to you,
I wouldn't forgive myself.
I'm a big girl,
I can take care of myself.
My daughter's a big girl, too,
but I worry about her
all the time.
You have a daughter?
Back on my home planet.
I can see you as
a father.
I just want to return you
safely to yours.
Don't worry.
I'm going to be fine.
-Get those reports from
the lab on Ferguson.
-Ferguson?
DORI: Good evening, Moses.
Oh, Dr. Caisson,
you all right?
Yeah, sure.
-How about you?
-Oh, sure...
I would have killed that
son of a bitch if he
hadn't sucker punched me.
So, is there anyone in there?
Well, I don't know.
I just came on.
-Okay, thanks, I'm just gonna
go get my purse.
-Sure.
Okay.
It's me, Townshend.
It's all right. You're safe.
I can't believe you
got away from Yates.
Yeah.
I even stole his car.
Good. Where is he now?
I don't know.
-Did he say anything?
-No. No. Not a word.
He probably hasn't learned
your language yet.
All right, let's go.
Where to? Back to my place?
No, it's too dangerous.
Yates knows where you live.
We must find temporary
accommodations.
You mean like a motel?
Yes, a motel.
That's it. Let's go.
Okay.
This is not good.
I only have...
Six shells left.
-Dori, what are you doing?
-Yates told me all about you.
-Put down the gun.
-Don't make me shoot you.
I don't know what Yates
told you, but...
-He told me the truth.
-I told you the truth.
He's an escaped murderer.
Then why didn't he kill you
when he had the chance?
Maybe he needs me alive
for some reason.
Maybe his rover is disabled
and he needs mine to escape.
Then why didn't you recognize
him at the hospital?
-Dori...
-Don't!
How old would you say
that I am?
I don't know... 30.
And Yates?
50 maybe.
I am two years older than him.
Somehow, when we went
through that black hole,
it aged Yates 20 years.
That's why I didn't
recognize him.
Yeah, right. Then why didn't
it age you?
I don't know.
Maybe we went through
a time-space continuum
worm hole.
What? What the hell is
that supposed to mean?
I don't know! I'm not
a scientist, all right?
-You'll just have to trust me.
-Yeah, fat chance.
Then you'll just have
to kill me.
I will.
I'll kill you if I have to.
You didn't shoot.
Yeah, I just remembered
that aliens were
out of season.
What are we doing?
We're getting ready to mate.
Mate?
That's the word they used
on Wild Kingdom.
-Is it wrong?
-No.
No, it's fine, it's...
It's just, uh...
Look, don't get me wrong,
I'm all for interracial
relationships,
but interspecies is
a little too progressive
for me.
Dori.
You've seen me naked.
-Am I anatomically incorrect?
-No.
God, no.
Then what's the matter?
You're a cop.
-A peacemaker.
-It's the same thing.
You're all a bunch of
unreliable macho jerks.
Believe me, I know.
I was married to one.
-Dori...
-Look...
I like you...
More than I should,
but I don't think you're
going to be alive very long.
I just can't go through
that again, I'm sorry.
I just can't.
Yates.
He must have spent
that first night in
the library.
No wonder Yates can
speak English.
DORI: Mmm.
Talk about your
close encounters.
-Dori.
-Hmm?
Look at me.
You are gorgeous.
-What about me?
-You're gorgeous, too.
But that's not why
I woke you.
I need money for new clothes.
I saw a shop down the street
that has men's clothing
in the window.
Aw, and the bullet holes
in your outfit are so gauche.
Oh, honey, that's a joke.
I used the rest of my cash
for the room,
but you can use this.
You just hand it to the clerk.
Try and be ready by
the time I get back.
I think I know where
my activator card is.
I almost forgot!
-You have it?
-I have!
It was at the morgue.
I knew it.
Oh, is that what you
were doing there?
Yes, but I couldn't find it.
Here I flattered myself,
you were looking for me.
When I get back
you can lead me to Yates.
You're welcome.
Rieger.
Hold on just for a moment.
Sarge!
-It's your Dr. Caisson.
-Get a trace.
-Dori, where are you?
-I thought you might
be worried about me.
You're damn right I'm worried
about you. Now, where are you?
Frank, it's all right,
I'm safe.
You're not safe.
Is that space cadet with you?
Not at the moment.
Honey, please, wherever
you are, get out of there
before he comes back.
Frank, I'm telling you
I'm all right.
Your spaceman went to
the morgue last night
looking for something.
-Yeah?
-Doc walked in on him.
He's dead.
What?
Whatever this guy was
looking for, he tried
to torture it out of Doc.
Seventeen years on the force,
I've never seen
anything like it.
This guy makes
the Night Stalker
look like
Albert Schweitzer.
He's an absolute
certifiable psychopath.
Now, where the fuck are you?
The Gate Six Motel on
Century Boulevard in Room 8.
I'm on my way.
Now hang up the phone
and get out of there.
-Reiger!
-Yo.
We're on it.
Going somewhere?
OFFICER: Can we get four guys
on that?
Get down behind that.
All right, let him through!
Move, move, let's go!
Watch that door!
-You guys ready?
-Yeah, the entire motel
is completely evacuated.
You, in the room.
In exactly one minute,
you're going to be up
to your butt in tear gas.
Frank!
It's Dori. Goddamn it!
Settle down!
Don't do that again, Dori.
30 seconds.
Face it, Townshend, it's over.
No, you face it.
-We're getting out of here,
and you're taking me to Yates.
-How?
They have every exit covered.
RAMOS: 20 seconds!
Not every exit.
10! Fuck it, go get him.
Sergeant Ramos.
He broke through the wall,
room to room,
all the way down to
the manager's office,
and then out into the street.
Jesus Christ.
Who is this guy?
-Get out of the van!
-What?
Oh, my God! It's Frank!
Dori!
Oh, shit!
Dori!
Wait!
Townshend's right behind me!
The gun!
Drop the shotgun, Townshend.
Or I'll blow her brains out.
What?
I mean it.
I know.
And you don't care?
-No.
-Well, then...
All right!
Throw it here.
You had a handgun, Townshend.
Where is it?
I lost it when I was
hit by a van.
I thought you looked
a little run down.
A joke.
Turn around.
Open your jacket.
Ooh, that's
a nasty looking scar.
Where'd you get it?
When I was hit by the van.
Seems to be healing nicely.
Where's the card?
I don't have it!
I can see that, asshole.
Where is it?
I don't know!
Don't make me get nasty,
Townshend.
That fat ass at the morgue
made me get nasty.
He lived to regret it.
For as long as he lived,
that is.
DORI: Oh, my God.
How?
If Townshend's telling
the truth, how can you
live in this apartment?
How can you own a car?
How can you know our language
and our customs
so much better than him
if you both got here
the same night?
Because, you stupid bitch,
we went through a black hole.
We entered on our side of
the universe at the exact
same time,
but we came out on this side
20 years apart.
-What?
-What?
I guess all the theories
about time traveling
black holes are correct.
Now, I've been trapped
on this piece of shit planet
for long enough.
Where's the fucking card?
I don't have it!
No, wait! Wait, I've got it!
Dori, no!
It's right here in my purse.
Look, just please...
Take it. Take it.
Take that!
Come on!
Come on.
Okay.
No!
Shit!
No...
You earned this, bitch.
So, what you're saying is that
the other suspect was killed
in the explosion at
the construction site.
Well, this guy's the only body
you found here, right?
Look, somehow he was
thrown clear and he came
back to my house,
he kidnapped me,
and he brought me here.
And you managed to get
the gun, the shotgun,
and kill him?
Yeah.
Tell me something, Dori.
You still don't believe
that...
These guys were from
outer space, do you?
Obviously I was still
in a state of shock
when I told you that.
Obviously.
So, what were they?
-Some kind of PCP freaks,
something like that?
-Yeah, probably.
I think they kidnapped me
in some misguided attempt
to obtain prescription drugs.
Let me tell you, Dori,
that this is the most
bogus statement that
I've ever heard.
Maybe so, but that's
my story...
And I'm sticking to it.
Yeah.
I can live with that.
Surf's up.
What do you do,
you just dive in
and swim to your ship?
Yes.
You know, it might not even
be there anymore.
I know.
Even if it is there,
you don't know for sure
how to get back.
No.
You could die out there...
Alone in space.
Maybe.
But you're still going.
Yes.
Why?
Because I'm a peacemaker.
You mean a macho
asshole cop.
Yes, that's what I mean.
God, I wish I could think
of something really funny
to say right now.
Why?
I wouldn't
understand it anyway.
No, I guess not.
Bye.