Palo Alto (2013) Movie Script

- Teddy?

- Hmm.

If you were

in the olden times,

what would you do?

Which olden times?

Like, King Arthur,

with knights and horses

and shit.

I'd be the king!

You can't be king, dog.

No way.

Dude, if I went back,

I'd be the fucking king.

I'd be the king.

Then, I'd fuck every

virgin in the kingdom.

No, you can't be

king, asshole. Okay?

You can't even be duke.

The fact that you

fucking said that

shows you're not royalty.

You're a peasant.

Peasant!

Dude, but think about it.

When people time travel,

they go back

aren't they always the king,

or they know the king?

But that's in stories.

In stories everybody's

going to be the king.

It's Aristotle shit.

It's not real.

Yeah, but neither

is time travel.

There're very few fucking

kings and you wouldn't

be one of them, okay?

King Teddy?

That's a fucking

turd's name, dude.

Fuck you, Fred.

Fuck you,

you're an idiot.

You're an idiot.

I know.

If you were king,

I'd fucking kill myself.

Then you better die,

motherfucker,

'cause I'm the king

around these parts.

Fuck, Fred.

Oh, shit!

Whoo!

That felt

so fucking good.

That felt so...

Hey, April!

Wanna join us?

All right girls, circle up.

Bring it in.

Have a stretch.

All right, on the ground.

Oh, I'm so wet.

Not in a good way, either.

Mr. B's a hottie,

though.

Fuck, I know.

Right?

Too bad he wants

to get it in with April!

I know.

No, he doesn't.

Why would you say that?

You just went to have

a fucking cigarette

during practice!

I said I was going

to the bathroom.

I'd go for it, if I were you.

Guys, it's so awkward.

I baby-sit his kid.

So?

I bet he makes a really

ugly face when he comes.

You pervert!

No, I'm just saying...

I bet it's like this.

He's like...

All right girls!

Good practice.

Oh, shit! You think

he heard what I said?

Yeah, he saw you.

He's like, "Wait, that's

my face."

April, can I talk

to you for a minute?

Hey, you think

you can babysit

Michael on Saturday?

I have a date.

I don't know why I try.

Dates are always stupid.

Um, yeah,

I can babysit

on Saturday.

Great.

And I think you

should play striker.

I know it's a lot

of responsibility,

lot of pressure,

but you look really

good out there, so...

Thanks.

Great.

So, I'll see you Saturday.

Okay, yeah.

Okay.

Fred.

Hey.

Come on, let's get

the fuck out of here.

Yeah, this place is dead.

Teddy, what would

you do if you got

into a car accident?

Uh, I'd be pissed.

If it was a drunk

driving accident,

and you were the

one that was drunk?

How bad is the accident?

It's bad, you crashed

right into another car,

but your car still runs.

Shit.

And the other person

could be dead,

or they could just be

a little whiplashed

but you don't know.

Who is the person?

You don't know, man!

That's the point.

You can either wait around

and the other person

could be April

and you two could

fall in love, or you can get

the fuck out of there.

Either way

you have to decide.

Pretend like it happened now.

Boom! That's the accident.

What would you do?

I drive away.

Drive away?

Yeah.

You fucking drive away?

Yeah.

That's your final answer?

Yeah, dude.

Shit, you got

issues, nigger.

Hi, Meatball. Hi.

I know.

Did you miss me?

Come here.

Oh, hi, silly pretty thing.

Hey, Stewart.

Get that terrible rodent

out of here.

Were you playing video games?

Shooting hookers?

Yes.

Brilliant.

Oh, speaking of brilliant.

I corrected your paper.

I called it

"Alexander the Dubious."

You could have

just corrected it,

you didn't have

to rewrite the whole thing.

Yeah, well.

It needed quite a bit

of work, sweetie.

Okay.

Thanks.

Bye.

What happened

with your colonoscopy

today? Are you okay?

Yeah, hold on a minute.

April's here.

I just wanna say hi to her,

will you hold on for a sec?

Hi.

Hi, honey. How are you?

Yeah, I'm good.

Just kind of tired.

I'm gonna go lie down

for a little.

You look tired.

Just said that.

You really need to rest.

Are you depressed?

No, why do you always

ask me if I'm depressed?

I'm not depressed.

I'm tired.

All right.

I love you.

Okay, Jamal, I'm gonna

call you back in a little bit.

I don't care. Tsk.

Whatever!

You don't wanna talk to me?

I don't wanna talk to you first.

And I'm not doing that paper.

'Cause I don't give a fuck.

This is what I think.

Later.

No one even cares

'cause you're fat.

What is

this homework?

It's algebra.

Phew, I would never

be able to do that.

How do you do that?

Because I have to.

My little baby!

I'm not a baby.

You're such

a little baby.

Mmm-mmm.

You are.

You need to relax

and rest.

Okay, so everyone knows

how to play, right?

You just say,

"Never have I ever..."

And then if you've done

the thing you have to drink.

Like if you say,

"I've never cheated

on my boyfriend"

and you have cheated

on your boyfriend,

then you have to drink!

Um, never have

I ever given Seth Monkarsh

a blow-job

during free period

in the senior parking lot.

Uh-oh.

Drink up, Chrissy.

Yup.

Okay fine, my turn.

Um, hmm.

Never have I ever...

Kissed my uncle.

What?

Are you fucking serious?

That was private.

Fucking freak.

Hey, April.

Hey, Teddy. Oh!

You all right there?

The chair's broken.

Do you need a light?

Sure.

Thanks.

Why are you doing that?

Would you mind

your own business?

These are my stepbrother's.

Not like they're

fucking working anyway.

This party sucks.

Do you wanna go over

to the graves for a bit?

Yeah.

Do you wanna come?

Sure.

Never have I ever

had a lesbianic experience.

I've never been in love.

I think it's bullshit.

I stole

your lamp shade.

Oh, my God.

I'm gonna fall.

Oh, my God!

Ah, I got you guys.

It's uncool dude,

there could be ghosts

around here.

Jesus.

Don't even say that.

Hey, you guys remember

that kid in eighth grade

who suicided himself?

Yeah, that's...

I remember that.

The Asian kid?

Yeah.

Why do you think

he killed himself?

He's buried here.

I think he killed himself

because he was Asian.

I think it's pretty obvious.

What does that even mean?

It means his parents

pressured the shit

out of him

because he was Asian, duh?

I don't think that's true.

I don't really think

you know any better than me,

so no point talking.

Okay.

You got it.

Oh, shit!

Whoo!

Stop!

My parents

are gonna fucking flip.

Wow.

It's kind of hard.

That's what she said.

It's cool looking.

Ted, check this out.

Be careful.

Do you think it hurts

shooting yourself?

Probably for a second.

But, er, I think

pain only hurts

if it's prolonged.

If I was going to kill myself,

I'd kill a bunch

of other people

and take 'em down with me.

I wouldn't waste it.

Why would you do that?

Why wouldn't you do

like a bunch of really

crazy good things

you know, like help people

or save kids or something.

I think when you're suicidal,

though, you're probably only

thinking about yourself.

I don't know.

I try to be good.

Fuck good, guys.

Fuck good.

Live the dangerous life.

Where have you been?

Listen. I asked Tyler

if he'd go out with me.

And either he

didn't hear me or he...

I don't know why he would...

Whoo!

Where'd April go?

Are you still hung up

on April, dude?

Get over it.

Be strong.

Bye!

You okay?

Shut up.

Did you get it all out?

Shut up.

Do you want some water?

Mouthwash.

Okay, come on.

It's in the bathroom.

Oh, yeah!

♪ And the boring days

are like clockwork ♪

What's up, April?

How you doing?

Good.

Nice.

I like your skirt or dress,

I don't know what it is.

But it's really pretty.

Thanks.

The color brings out your eyes

or something, it's really...

I like it.

It's tight.

Even your moccasins,

those are awesome also.

Just got it all going on.

Thanks.

You enjoying the party?

Yeah, it's fun.

You know what

your outfit's missing?

Is this hat.

I think it'd complete it.

Actually... You look good

as is, actually.

You're raging tonight

or you're just

kind of chilling?

Raging.

We're going off, huh?

Yeah.

I'm asking...

Do you want to do a shot

or something?

Yeah, cheers to that.

Let's go grab one.

Wow.

Whoo.

Oh, fuck!

Have you seen April around here?

She's right there, man.

Fred, let's get

the fuck out of here, man.

Hey Teddy, where are we going?

Fucking nowhere.

On a scale of one to baked,

how baked are you?

Fucking baked!

What the fuck?

What the fuck was that?

Dude, what the fuck

are you doing?

How the fuck

did you know?

How did I know what?

How did you know I'd get

in a fucking accident?

I didn't.

What do you mean

how did I know?

What if, yeah, what if?

Just stop, stop.

Let me out.

Teddy, you're not

really blaming me

for this, are you?

Really?

I'll see ya.

You know,

you're being

kind of a dick.

Fuck.

- That's him, Officer.

- Okay.

That's definitely the car.

Okay, it seems like you're

the one I'm looking for.

Someone called

your plates in, buddy.

Can I see your license?

Okay, I'm gonna need you

to step out of the vehicle.

To the front of the car,

over there.

Now face this way.

It's a kid.

Walk in a straight line.

I can't do that.

Okay, then recite

the alphabet backwards

from Z to A.

Backwards?

Yes.

Can't do that shit.

Why don't you try?

Oh. See, we got

a wise one here, huh?

I'm not fucking wise, Chip.

I just can't recite

my alphabet backwards.

Can't even do that shit sober.

Listen, smart ass.

You can either do

the sobriety test,

or I can take you

to the hospital

and you can do a blood test.

What do you wanna do?

Y-X-Z... F-U-C-K U!

U! U! U!

U, U!

You have the right

to remain silent.

Fuck you.

Anything you say can and will

be used against you in a

court of law.

Do you understand that?

You have the right

to an attorney.

If you cannot afford one,

one will be appointed

for you.

Do you understand these rights?

Fuck you.

- Yeah, fuck you, too.

- Hey!

Put your head down.

Oh, my God.

Fucking pig!

Oh!

Holy fucking shit!

What?

No fucking way,

this is too good.

What is it?

How do we not know about this?

What is it?

Do you know

that Emily has a blog?

You're kidding me.

Holy shit!

Look at these pictures.

Who does that?

Emily blew Teddy last night

in your parents' bedroom.

You're lying.

Mmm-mmm.

- How do you know that?

- Seth told me.

How gross is that?

In my parents' bedroom?

She will suck

any dick that anyone

puts in her face.

God almighty!

She's going down.

What are you playing?

Doodle.

What's that?

It's just like you

have to get the turtle

to the other side.

Come on, enough of this game.

Let's watch a movie.

I don't think I'm allowed

to watch this movie.

Why? It's a good movie.

Whoa.

Okay, I think you're right.

It's time for bed, okay?

I don't wanna go to bed.

I like this movie.

I bet you do.

Come on, let's go.

Bed time.

I want us to be able

to be friends.

I always asked you

to hang out and like...

A back area and like,

hang out there with, like...

Hey.

Hi.

What are you watching?

I don't know.

Some reality show.

Ah.

Well, that was a shitty date.

What happened?

Nothing.

Just like always.

Teachers are so boring.

I can't believe you guys

have to sit there

and listen them all day.

At least I can go home.

Yeah. Well, I don't

really listen to them.

Oh, really?

You don't listen to me?

I didn't mean you.

Of course

I listen to you.

Yeah, you better.

Well, I should go.

Sorry.

Bye.

Well, thanks again,

I really appreciate it.

Sure.

See you at practice.

I'm dizzy.

Emma, sit down.

Why?

Come on.

- Teddy Morrison.

- Yeah.

Hey, are you in trouble?

Mr. Morrison,

this is the second time you've

been before the court.

Given the support

you have from your family,

from the school

and the community,

the court would like

to give you one last chance

to turn your life around.

In lieu of commitment,

you shall be placed

on probation for a period

of 12 months

on the following terms

and conditions.

One, you shall perform

150 hours of community service

at the children's library.

Given your demonstrated talent

as an artist and painter

I think you'll do quite well.

Two, you must make a formal

and in person apology

to Mrs. Grossman,

the victim of the offense

and whose car you hit.

Mr. Morrison, if you fail

to complete your

community service hours

or if you engage

in any further criminal

conduct of any sort

your probation will be revoked

and you will be committed

to juvenile hall.

All right,

thank you and good luck.

Teddy, can you help me?

Yeah.

Emma, get your shoes.

I Love you, Mom.

I love you, too, honey.

Really sorry about all this.

Don't forget to apologize

to that woman.

Try not to hang around Fred.

Love you, Mom.

Hey, Teddy, look what I can do.

Yeah. Get out of my room!

Could you get out of my room?

Get out.

He's cute.

Give me some of that.

He's not cute.

Fred?

Yes, he is.

He's horrible looking.

No, he's cute.

You think everyone's cute.

No, I don't.

Yes, you do.

And this is how

you didn't make a basket.

Dude, chill the fuck out!

Basketball, you know how

to play basketball? It's how

you play on the streets.

Fuck you!

What the fuck, Fred?

Call it, bitch.

I fucking am.

Oh, you are a bitch?

No, I'm calling

a fucking foul.

You play dirty.

Oh, I play dirty?

I play dirty?

Yeah, you fucking do

and you need to chill.

Ladies, ladies.

Do you think I play dirty?

Jacko, you think I play dirty?

Yeah, kind of.

What the fuck?

You're on my team.

This isn't

powder puff football.

This isn't two hand touch.

Let's just play.

Chill out. God!

Real fucking tough.

Fucking cheese dicks.

Enjoy your fucking game.

See ya.

Fuck you, mama boy.

Hey, ladies, I wanna

apologize for my bad

language back there.

How's the smoking?

Fucking fine.

Mmm.

Can I try some of that

fucking fine cigarette?

That is fucking fine.

You want it back?

No?

You know what

bugs me about you, Pam?

You remind me

of a praying mantis.

You're all long and mantis like

and it just really

gets on my nerve

because, you know...

How am I supposed to know

if you're a girl

or a praying mantis?

I wanna go, Emily.

Don't go.

Did I offend you?

Fuck you.

Are you coming?

I don't think she wants

to go with you.

Sorry. She wants

to stay. Emily?

I think I'm gonna stay.

Yeah!

Fuck you guys.

Fuck you. Go eat

some more of your

fucking mates, bitch!

Sorry, I...

Guess I kind of

ruined your friendship.

She wasn't

really a friend.

Just a girl.

Wanna get out of here?

Yeah.

Do you wanna

come over?

Yeah.

Whoa!

Emily's room.

Do you like it?

Hey, you got a lot

of shit in your room.

Yeah.

What's this?

That's my headband.

Do I look sexy?

Second grade.

Yo, what's up?

Where's Teddy?

Why does everybody

always ask about

Teddy, seriously?

I don't know.

You're always with him.

He follows me around.

What am I supposed to do?

I'm not a rude person.

Is that your guitar?

Yeah.

I don't know how

to play it, though.

Can I play?

Yeah. Do you know how?

Yeah, fucking master of guitar.

Virtuoso.

♪ Emily

Emily, Emily, Emily

♪ Emily, Emily, Emily

♪ Whoo! Emily!

♪ Whoo! Whoo! Emily!

Whoo! Whoo! ♪

I wrote that for you.

Will you teach

me how to play?

Do you wanna know

how to play guitar?

All right, here we go.

Lesson 101, G-chord.

Put your fingers here.

One finger here.

Right. Now strum.

That was not that bad.

Now, here's the second lesson.

Put...

Do you like building forts?

Sure.

What?

I don't know

what that is.

A butterfly kiss.

Your mom never gave you those?

Mom never gave

me a butterfly kiss.

All right.

Where you going?

What do you mean?

You leaving?

Yeah.

It was fun.

Was it good?

Yeah.

It was good.

Will you call me?

Uh-huh.

Cool. All right.

Peace out.

I'll see you around.

Bye.

Yeah, whatever.

...his arm

and that's the claw.

And these are

gonna be tentacles.

Oh, good.

Great job.

Like a man-octopus.

And this is...

That's...

That's the head.

Like a melon.

Well, it's like a cantaloupe.

Well, draw a cantaloupe

and I'm...

I wanna see... Draw a

cantaloupe and I wanna see

how it looks compared to...

I'll do it but

I don't get it.

Okay.

You draw fast.

You draw really fast.

You know, Picasso drew fast.

He could draw a dove

in 16 seconds.

Sixteen seconds.

You know the dove?

Uh, yeah, the doves are great.

They are great.

But, you know, to do

it in 16 seconds it

took six decades of practice.

Technical skill

is not enough.

It's never enough.

He had to master the masters

before he was able

to abandon what he learned

and become Picasso.

You know, you remind

me of Sylvester Stallone.

What?

Yeah.

He's a very good artist.

Underneath all that

muscle, you know,

he's a very smart dude.

And, you know, he wrote Rocky.

I mean, he wrote Rocky,

he wrote all four of Rocky.

I mean, that dude's smart.

What?

Yeah.

April.

Hey, Coach.

What're you doing

sitting in that locker.

I don't know.

I just like it sometimes.

Surprised you can fit in there.

I guess.

Wow.

Is everything okay?

I haven't seen you at

practice past couple of days.

Yeah, I'm...

I'm sorry about that.

I just... I fell behind

on a bunch of schoolwork

so I've been catching up.

Mmm-hmm.

I promise I'll be

there next week.

Do I still get to play?

Yeah. I just

wanted to make sure

everything's okay.

You know you can talk

to me, right? That's part

of what a coach does.

Okay.

If you need help with

homework, I'm pretty

good at that, too.

Yeah, sure.

Why don't you just bring

your schoolwork to my house

when you babysit next time?

Okay, I will. Mmm-hmm.

Yeah?

So, I'll see

you at practice?

Yeah, I promise.

I will.

Promise? Okay.

Promise.

Don't get stuck in there.

I'm really sorry about

what happened. I can't...

Oh, Teddy, Teddy.

What I did.

There's... There's no

need to apologize.

No, I...

No. No, there isn't.

And do you know why?

Why?

Because you have a problem.

You're an alcoholic.

But you know that, right?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I mean, it's getting

to be such a problem now,

I just...

See, that's good

that he knows that.

That I understand that.

The reason I can spot

people like you

is because I have

a problem, too. Eating.

And in some way,

your problem is much easier

to solve than my problem

because I have temptation

at least three times a day.

And...

Thing is if you're

an alcoholic and you know

you're an alcoholic

and you don't do something

about being that,

you're an asshole.

That's a little much.

We're talking about

alcohol here...

Right.

We're talking about

a slightly different

set of circumstances from

getting a Whitman sampler

and eating every

single chocolate in there.

You know, I don't really...

You know what, I really don't

appreciate your attitude.

Hello.

I'm, uh, here for

the community service.

Oh, you must be Teddy.

Yeah, I am.

We're so happy to have you.

Great.

Come on over

and I'll show you around.

Twenty two, 13...

Where are you 22.13?

Hey.

Hey!

You know what?

I'm really

liking it here.

We really like you.

And you know what?

You can always come back

even after all this is over.

Right on.

Okay.

Hello.

Dude, Fred, you can't be here.

Why not? I miss you.

'Cause I'm working.

Yeah, right.

What're you doing?

What's this?

Rainbow Gremlins.

It's tight.

Used to be my favorite.

This shit is stupid.

This book is your favorite?

Yeah.

Faggot.

Holy shit!

Rainbow Gremlins were gay.

Dude...

They were fucking gay.

Shut up. You gotta

keep it down.

Dude, they sucked

the juice out of rainbows.

Shut up.

We're in a library, man.

They sucked the juice

out of rainbows.

Rainbows are gay, get it?

So?

Don't get all

defensive about it.

It's just a fact.

You and the Rainbow Gremlins

are gay as fuck.

Yeah, fuck you, dude.

They're a bunch of dudes

and they just hang

out all the time,

all together.

That' all they do.

Just fucking hang out.

It's exactly what we do.

What're you...

No. Fred?

You can't do that, dude.

Dude, look.

No...

Pubes.

That was

really trippy, man.

It's like, think of all

the people that fucking

died from eating mushrooms

before they discovered

the psychedelic ones.

What do you mean?

Like, think about all

the people that, like,

just ate mushrooms

until they found the one

that gets you all fucked up.

Hey, man, let's just

try this mushroom.

See if it gets...

This is fucking

cow shit all over it.

What're you saying?

Isn't it cow shit

that makes you high

from the mushroom?

I don't know.

I think it helps.

Hey, you got anything

going on later?

You wanna go do something?

Can we go do something now?

Can't.

Gotta finish this off.

Get it.

What do you mean?

This is the one

day I can't, man.

Sorry.

What am I supposed to do?

I don't know.

Dude, I don't even wanna

hang out with you.

You're boring as shit.

All you do is fucking

work and...

Fuck that shit.

All right.

Step one for doing

homework is

turning off your phone.

Fine.

Okay.

Now, it's simple.

The way to write a good

history paper is to

choose your event

and then just explain

why it happened.

History is just explaining

why things happened.

But what if I don't

think there's a reason

for something happening?

Well, then you need

to think harder.

Yeah, but I do things all

the time for no reason.

Mmm-hmm.

It's because you're young.

And you don't know

why you do things

but there's always a reason.

No?

Mmm-mmm.

Okay.

I mean, if you wanted to,

couldn't you just say that the

reason everything's happened

is because of one thing that

happened at the very, very,

very beginning of time.

Mmm-hmm. If you wanted

to be a smart-ass.

Sorry.

That's okay.

I really like you.

Yeah, but

I'm older and I know that

there aren't a lot

of good things around

and I know that

you are really good.

Okay, Teddy.

So.

Are you high?

No.

I don't smoke anymore.

You can test me.

You drew a penis

on the runaway bunny.

That was Fred.

I didn't draw that.

You had friends

coming to visit you

while you were doing

community service

at the children's library?

No one came.

It was me.

I... But I will

pay for it

and I know it was stupid...

Oh, yeah. You are going

to pay for the book.

But you're not gonna do

your hours there anymore.

They really like me there and...

No, they don't like you.

They don't like you one bit.

You're lazy and you carved

"ape" in the bench outside.

It was "April."

Why would you carve "April"?

I don't know.

What kind of jerk defaces

a children's library?

I mean, come on!

People are counting on you.

Your parents are

counting on you.

Your little sister

is counting on you.

What kind of example are you?

What goes through

your mind when you do it?

Or do you not think at all?

I'm gonna put myself

on the line, okay?

I could lose my job.

If you don't start thinking

about what you're doing

you're gonna land yourself

right in juvenile hall.

And who's this kid Fred?

Why was he visiting

you at the library?

Why do you wanna hang around

with people like that?

That guy sounds like a loser.

Hey, Fred!

Hey, buddy, you looking

for Fred? He's not here.

Can I come in for a second?

Yeah, sure, you can come in.

You okay?

Yeah.

What's... What's going on?

You want something

to eat, drink?

No. Thanks, I'm fine.

Had a pretty big

dinner last night.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, I mean tonight.

Last night.

What did you have?

Pasta.

Yeah.

I'm a little, uh...

You smell that?

Oh, yeah.

I'm a little high.

I noticed that.

Yeah?

It's cool, man.

You wanna partake?

Sure. Yeah. Really?

Just do me a favor,

though. Don't...

Let's keep it between us.

Oh, for sure. Okay.

It's pretty strong, so go easy.

I like your hair like that.

My hair?

Thanks, man.

Ah.

Ooh!

Let me sit next to you.

One second.

Feel like I'm so far

away over here.

Oh, God.

I love this couch.

Yeah, it's cool.

Isn't it comfortable?

Mmm-hmm.

It's my grandfather's

couch, this couch.

Yeah?

Bounce on it.

Seriously. Just...

Just bounce on it.

You want me to...

I don't even know how

to answer that like...

Just bounce on it.

Just do it.

Do it once.

All right.

My God.

I didn't know

you had an earring.

I love it.

I love that on you.

Yeah?

I did it myself.

Really?

You're stoned,

aren't you?

I love this hair.

I love it...

All right, all right.

What?

Just...

Just touching my hair.

What?

Nothing. You were

just touching my hair.

It's funny.

What's funny about it?

Nothing. Relax, man.

It's cool.

What?

Have you ever smoked with Fred?

All right, dude.

I should probably

get going, man.

Yeah, I just...

Thanks for everything, dude,

I'll see you around.

Are you too high or...

No, I'm good, dude.

Thanks.

All right. Uh...

All right.

You okay to drive?

Yeah, I am.

All right, buddy.

I think your dad

tried to come onto me.

My dad's not gay, Teddy.

Okay.

It's kind of one of

those moments we're gonna

remember forever.

Me and you.

You ready?

Mmm-hmm.

Dude, could I try first?

You fucking kidding me?

We'll switch off

half way or something.

Fine. Go on.

All right.

Dude, you're holding it

way too fucking low.

No. No, no. Chill.

I got it.

No. Give me the fucking thing.

You're gonna...

Stop. It'll cut your leg off.

Be careful, dude.

Let me try.

Dude, it was my

idea in the first...

I'll give it you... Okay.

Just fucking give

it to me. Stop.

Okay.

Okay, I'm excited.

All right, let's do this, dude.

Let's cut this bitch down.

Come on.

This fucking tree

needs to die tonight.

Oh, yeah.

- Whoo!

- Yes.

I can't wait to come

see your band play.

I know. We're good.

There's only three of us.

Hello.

Drew your picture.

Oh!

That's...

That's nice.

Very nice.

I'll get it.

Hi.

When I do this...

Does it make me look Chinese?

We're going to play

in the garden?

Nice.

Teddy was always

gone doing work

or probation or whatever

you call that baloney.

We talked on the phone

a few times.

Emily didn't have any friends.

I didn't talk long.

The only person

she knew was me.

Just enough to make

her feel comfortable.

One afternoon we went

to Jason King's house.

She didn't talk much.

Jason's parents were gone.

I did all the talking.

We were drinking

sodas and vodka and smoking pot.

I was a nice guy.

I'm a nice guy to everyone.

Emily came over.

I got her into Jason's

parents' bed

and got her naked.

The guys lined up

outside the bedroom.

Big brown house.

We went in

two or three at a time.

Everyone fucked her.

We ran around the house to...

I kept going back

in with everyone...

She gave me a blowjob.

I asked if she liked it.

I had my clothes on when

I ushered people in.

She said she did.

I was a wild monkey.

Then I left.

Tell me you love me.

Hey.

What's up?

Nothing.

How're you doing?

I'm fine. How are you?

Good.

Uh...

Do you... Do you want it?

I love the pink ones.

So good.

All right.

Thank you.

Yeah, I'll see

you later. Bye.

Okay.

That's how you play.

Go like this.

All right.

There you go.

You almost got it.

Come on.

How's that foot?

Come here.

Not in this color, though.

Hey.

Beer?

No, thanks.

Wanna hear a joke?

There's this horse

and a chicken.

And the horse falls into

this big puddle of mud

and, um, so the chicken

gets his Mercedes

ties it to the horse

and pulls him out.

Then the chicken

falls into the mud.

The horse doesn't

get his Mercedes.

He just stands there.

And he says,

"Just hold onto my thingy

and I'll pull you out."

That's funny.

Well, it's not over.

So, the moral of the story

is that if you're

hung like a horse

you don't need a Mercedes

to pick up chicks.

Yeah. I get it.

Why don't you talk to me

at school anymore?

You know why.

Yeah, but you can

at least be nice to me,

not just ignore me.

I mean, it's like you don't

even like me anymore.

Are you kidding me?

April, I love you.

What?

Doesn't even make sense.

What? Why?

I have to go.

April. What...

Hey, hey, hey.

April, I love you.

Okay.

I'm in love with you.

I just...

I... I was quiet before

because I didn't want

anything bad to happen

but I don't care anymore.

All right, I...

I just wanna

be with you.

We can

figure it out. You...

You can just say

you're babysitting all

the time and come over.

No, I'm...

I should be hanging out

with boys my own age.

Why?

Why do you wanna hang

out with a bunch

of little boys. You're...

You're better than that.

Just be with me.

April.

Look, uh...

Please, all right.

Just...

Let's just...

Just start all over.

Just watch a movie,

find something silly and...

Like always, okay?

Just stay. April!

So the founding

of Rome begins

with a fratricide

as Romulus kills

his twin brother, Remus.

Seems appropriate seeing

as their father is Mars,

the Roman god of war.

Folks, there will be

a test on this sometime

in the next week.

Thank you very much.

Great work today.

April, can I talk

to you for a minute?

Um...

I read your paper.

Did someone help you with this?

It doesn't seem

like your writing.

Um...

It's my step-daddy.

I just asked him

to help me correct it

and then he just kind of

started rewriting it and...

I can't give you

a passing grade on this.

Do you understand?

What's your next class?

I'll write you a slip.

It, uh...

It's college counseling.

Do you know what college

you would like to go to?

They're so competitive

these days

that you need all

the time you can get.

I want you to give

some thought to that

because there are

only a few weeks left.

You excel in art class.

Would you like to

go to an art school?

Maybe.

You know what you wanna do?

You know what you wanna be?

I don't know.

I want you to stay

on that soccer team

because that could

be so helpful.

Can I go to the bathroom

real quick?

Uh, but...

I'm literally punching

myself that I didn't buy

that dress yesterday.

Oh, I know.

No, honestly, it looks

so fucking good on me.

You need to go back and get it.

What if we just ditch

and go to the mall

and get it.

Let's do it.

Your tits are seriously

so huge today.

I know, right?

They look amazing.

'Cause I'm on my period,

which kind of sucks but...

Probably,

but it's totally worth it.

You're making the best of it.

They look great.

Okay, I have to pee like

a mother fucking race horse.

I do, too.

Why do they even say

"I have to pee

like a race horse"?

I don't know.

I don't get that, like...

Do race horses just, like,

have to pee all the time.

I don't get it.

Because they're always racing

and they never get to pee.

Poor horsies.

Oh, I don't

have toilet paper.

Can you spot me?

Of course, sweetie.

Oh.

All right.

How's my hair?

Don't look

at the easel.

Look at the model instead.

More green. Okay, no.

You're looking at the easel.

Look at the model

and don't look at the easel.

Jesus. That model's

kind of hot.

She looks like an old tree.

I'd fuck a tree.

I'd fuck the shit

out of that tree.

Nice.

You know, I had

a near death experience

myself once.

I was going down the tunnel

in a convertible car,

old convertible car.

It's not my car.

It's freezing cold.

Ice, like brown

melting ugly ice.

I say to myself,

"Bob, you're going down

the tunnel of death."

Then I say to myself,

"My name is not Bob.

I'm not Bob."

Then I said,

"It's not my car."

And this is not my tunnel.

So, what happened?

I made a uie

and suddenly I'm going

fast the other way

and there's a rainbow.

It's a rainbow.

You're going down

the wrong way, Bob.

Turn your art around.

Dude, I'm not Bob.

Yes, yes.

All right.

That's right.

I'm not fucking Bob.

Dude, what the fuck is going on?

This is kind of fun, isn't it?

Yeah.

I'm doing an ocean.

What are you doing?

I'm also doing an ocean.

Oh, I love yours.

That's so good.

Thank you.

Hey, Teddy.

Hey.

Tanya's daughter came by

and saw the pictures

you drew of her.

She liked them.

Really?

You should

go see her.

Room 22.

Hey, Janet.

Bye.

Hi.

How are you?

Oh, pretty good.

That's very pretty.

Yeah?

That's a fish.

Hello.

Yes.

Oh, hi.

Hi.

How are you doing?

I'm fine.

Sit down.

I see you got the pictures up.

- You draw so well.

- No. I'm crap.

No. No.

Come here.

You're a good boy.

And you captured me good.

Thank you.

Now listen,

always have faith and trust

in your

God-given talent.

All right,

what time is it?

Game time!

That's right.

All right,

listen up.

I want you to play

a smart game,

pass the ball.

Keep it tight.

High pressure,

all right?

Everything we've

been practicing.

Okay, you got this.

You got these bitches.

They're pathetic all right.

- You got this, okay.

- Yeah!

All right, bring it in.

Bring it in.

Whoo!

What are we

going to do?

Win.

What are we

going to do?

Win!

One, two, three,

Panthers!

Come on!

Come on.

Raquel, that's you!

Let's go!

Looking good, April!

Come on!

Okay, pull back!

Stretch!

Oh, my God!

Come on, get up.

That's right,

push in! Push in!

Fuck with me!

Fuck with me, bitch!

Come on.

Shauna, what are you doing?

Thank you.

It's un-fucking-real!

Oh.

April, come on!

April, go!

All right.

All right, good game!

Good game.

Shake.

You got some

good players. All right.

Thank you.

Raquel is such

a cry baby.

I know.

She just does that

for attention, though.

You seriously think you're bad?

I mean, do you even

think she's pretty?

Raquel?

Yeah, she's

fucking gorgeous.

She's pretty.

You think?

She's not ugly.

Don't blame yourself.

Okay.

All right.

I'll see you next week.

I don't think she's so pretty.

April, she's pretty.

So, you three upset, too?

Obviously.

Yeah, we're not crying

but we're upset.

It's just a game.

We played very well.

We kind of sucked.

Um, no, you sucked.

Thank you, Mr. B.

Anyone need a ride?

No, my mom's

going to come get us.

I'm with her.

April?

- Sure.

- Okay, let's go.

I'll see you

guys later.

Bye, April.

Night.

Bye.

Where's Michael?

Oh, he's at his moms.

Oh.

Want some water or something?

Um, no, that's okay.

It's nice to have you back here.

Don't worry about the game.

I know it's not Thursday.

I always get the days wrong.

You so crazy.

You're so crazy.

Hi, sweetie.

Hi, Mom.

Hold on, Jamal,

I'm gonna call you.

Do you want some breakfast?

Um, that's okay.

I'm gonna call you

back, okay? Let me

call you right back.

I can make you eggs and bacon.

Okay, sure.

That sounds good.

How 'bout some orange

juice? You want

some orange juice?

I just love you,

you're such a good girl.

I love you, too.

Aw. You mean

so much to me.

Test your might!

Fight.

You're not allowed to do that.

Are you going to tell on me?

Can I play?

Sure. I don't care.

All right, what do I do?

You have to pick

a character first.

I wanna be the girl character.

The girl character?

She sucks.

Trust me.

I've played her.

All right, well, I still

wanna be her, so...

Suit yourself.

Fight!

Hey, how do I fight?

You press the buttons.

Oh, come on, which ones?

Which color?

Hey.

Yes!

Two cookies please!

What?

I get two cookies because I won.

Says who?

Raquel.

Raquel?

Raquel's my other babysitter.

She lets me have

two cookies when I win.

Hmm.

Well, okay.

I want one Oreo

and one chocolate chip.

Here you go.

Have 'em all.

Hello.

April.

Who's this?

Look, what happened

between me and Raquel...

It's nothing, okay?

Can I just explain

what happened?

What?

You broke up with me.

And we weren't talking to

each other. Can I see you?

No. No, I'm not coming

over there anymore.

April, I love you.

Please.

Dude, isn't this a...

Oh, gee, you're

acting like we're in

a recession. Give me.

I wanna show you

how to do this shit.

I ought to...

Chef Ivan at your service.

Emily.

Hey, Emily.

Emily, hi, hi.

Hi.

You look, um...

You look really beautiful.

You look, uh...

Yeah, your whole,

um, dress.

You look really...

You look really great.

Thanks.

All right, sorry.

Hey, I have this idea, um...

Uh, I saw this pool.

And I was wondering

maybe you want to like

go swimming.

Swimming?

Yeah.

♪ We could go swimming

♪ We could go swimming ♪

Okay, fine.

Fine.

Really?

Mmm-hmm.

Okay. Okay, all right.

Okay.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

where's the light?

The light?

Need a lighter?

Yeah.

- Here you go.

- Found it.

Jump. Jump to me.

Jump to me.

Wait.

Jump... Whoa!

Let's go.

Are you ready to

see me get naked?

What are you doing?

I'm jumping in the pool.

Aren't you getting in?

No, it's cold.

Come on.

This is called night swimming.

Ready, one, two...

They were just saying

that in college,

like girls have sex

all the time.

So maybe like when

you get to college,

you won't be a sweet

little virgin anymore.

Thank you.

She's a virgin?

She's a virgin,

you guys.

Isn't that so adorable,

though? Look at...

She's so pretty.

We can do something

about that.

No, April.

You scared her off.

They can help.

Oh, honey.

I mean, are you

all virgins, too?

Hey.

How's it goin'?

Good.

How are you?

You should, uh, flip one over

for good luck.

You know like when

you get a new pack,

you always flip

one over and

save it for last

and then when

you get to it

you make a wish.

Oh, cool, I've never

heard of that.

Like that?

Yeah.

Do you need a light?

Thanks.

Yeah.

That movie is pretty

stupid.

Why?

I think all movies and TV shows

and video games these

days are just pointless.

Okay.

You're crazy.

No, I'm not.

Yeah, you are.

Why would you say that?

Because you just don't

care about anything.

I wish I didn't care

about anything.

But I do care. I care

about everything too much.

What do you mean?

It's whatever, Teddy.

I think you're the one

who doesn't care, not me.

What do you mean?

I care about you.

What? You...

You never even hang out with me.

Yeah, I love you.

I love you.

Do you remember that

night at the graveyard?

When we went to that tree?

The one that

I carved a heart in?

Yeah.

That was fun.

I wish we could go

back to that night.

You know that

me and Fred

cut it down, right?

What?

That's so sad.

Yeah.

That tree was probably

there since the Civil War.

And now it's gone.

It's kind of sad.

Come on, get in the pool.

No.

Come on,

it feels great.

I'm shivering but not

because it's cold.

I'm shivering because

you're so beautiful.

Not gonna work this time.

Emily, just get

in the fuckin' pool.

No!

Get in the fuckin' pool, Emily.

I'm not getting

in the fucking pool.

Get in the pool!

I've been excited

about this!

Just get in, okay?

Stop asking me. No!

Get in the pool, whore.

You can be a real cunt,

you know that?

Just get in

the fucking

pool, okay?

You know what, Fred?

What?

I thought I loved you

but you're a real...

What?

Fucking douchebag!

I'm a what? I'm

a douche...

Fuck!

Got you!

What the fuck!

What? What? What?

You made me do all those

things! I hate you!

Come on. Come on.

Come on.

You set me up!

Come on, kiss me, kiss me,

kiss, me, kiss me, kiss me.

Fuck you!

Sick and disgusting!

Are you gonna hit

me with a bottle?

Don't!

You're gonna hit

me with a bottle?

Don't!

Come on, hit me.

I dare you.

You wouldn't do

it, pussy. Pussy.

Don't!

Pussy, pussy, pussy.

Stop!

You're not gonna hit

me with a fuckin' bottle.

Ah.

You bitch.

What the fuck!

I was just messing around.

Fuck!

Teddy?

Let's go!

Hey what's going on?

Can we have some stogs?

Sure.

Let me get one, too.

Aren't you guys

a little young for

drinking and smoking?

No, we like 'em.

What? No.

You guys look

younger than me.

- How old are you?

- Where are you from?

Around here.

I like your hair.

It's really pretty.

Thanks.

You want the last one?

They just took

all my cigarettes.

Sucks.

I just bought this pack.

Well, at least now

you can make a wish.

Remember you can make...

You can make your wish.

Oh. Oh, yeah.

I forgot about that.

What are you gonna wish for?

- Are you okay, dude?

- Yeah.

What happened?

Nothing just...

You okay.

Yeah. Can we go buy

some weed please?

Yeah. Listen,

do you wanna come?

Oh, fuck. Can you

give me a fuckin'

break, Teddy?

Skull's waiting for us

to buy some weed.

Um, no.

I should probably

wait here so I can

get a ride home.

Yeah, let's go.

Yeah.

Um...

Maybe tomorrow.

Yeah.

I don't know what

you're doing...

I'll text you or something?

Yeah, sure.

I'll text you.

Or you can text me.

Thank you, April.

Let's go.

Call you or... I mean...

See you later.

Come on. Come on.

Dude, what do you...

What happened to

your head?

What, uh...

What do you mean?

I mean,

what happened, dude?

Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Who did that?

Hey, what would

you do if,

if you were an Egyptian?

I'd be a pharaoh.

You can't be a

fuckin' pharaoh.

Why not?

You can't be a

fuckin' pharaoh.

Why not?

I don't even want to

be Egyptian anyways.

All that sand

and mummies and shit,

it's so boring.

I'd be an Aztec or a Mayan.

Then I'd fucking

cut your heart out.

Hey, maybe we can

cut Skull's heart out.

Skull would fuck you up.

Just rip it out of him.

He wouldn't be able

to fuck me up if I, uh,

stabbed him in

the stomach first.

Stop. What the fuck?

What are you

doing? Stop.

What are you doing, man?

Fred, fuck, dude.

Put that thing...

Fuck. Stop.

'Sup, Skull?

How are you doin'?

Feel good?

Nice.

So you, uh,

so you got it?

Yes.

Just a dime,

right? Want a hit?

Hey, Skull?

Who'd you rather be

the pope or Pablo Escobar?

Escobar for sure, man.

Gets to have all

the fun.

The pope gets to

live in the Vatican.

He gets to see

Michelangelo

all the time.

Escobar.

What do you think?

Shut the fuck up, Teddy.

You know what you want?

You what a knife.

Huh?

This fucker could

cut your heart out,

with this fucking knife.

Cut your fucking heart out.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa. Hey...

He fucking said it to me.

You try it,

I'll fucking kill you!

I never said that.

This fucker's always

saying weird shit

and trying to get

me to kill people.

I don't...

He want... He was

talking about cutting

your heart out. I didn't...

Skull, Skull,

Skull, Skull.

Yes.

Would you rather

be gay or a girl?

Neither.

No, I'm just saying

if you had to.

Like, if a genie said so.

Both of them have to suck dick.

Exactly.

Would that be so bad?

I mean, don't you ever

get jealous of those

girls in pornos that get to be

on their knees in

the middle of all

those fucking dicks.

Are you fuckin'

serious right now?

Are you be...

Are you being fucking

serious right now?

He's a fuckin' faggot.

He's always saying

weird shit like this, dude.

No, no, no, no.

This faggot is fucking serious.

You don't like

the idea of an

Around-The-World blow bang?

No, I like to have

a girl suck my dick.

What's the difference?

"What the difference?"

Well, I'll tell

you the difference,

because I am going in

and she's being got inside of.

Yeah, and why is one

better? Why does one

make you better, Skull?

And why when you're

inside her,

do you feel better?

I mean, aren't you

on her turf, inside her?

You know, isn't she

in control of you?

Like a little fuckin'

baby with his mamma

making him feel good.

Huh?

Skull, why? Why?

Because...

Because what?

Hey, dude.

Hey, dude, dude,

dude, dude, dude.

Let's drive down the wrong way.

Fred, why do you

have to be like this?

Why do I have to be like what?

Why do you have to be

all fucking crazy

and psycho on me?

Why do you have to try so

fucking hard to seem crazy,

man? I don't get it.

I just...

I can't hang out with you

when you're like this.

Okay.

I can't hang out

with you when

you're like this.

Pull over.

Just let me out, dude.

Let me the fuck out.

Pull over, man.

Let me out.

What are you doing?

I'm not Bob.

I'm not Bob, I'm not Bob,

I'm not Bob.

Let's go!

I'm not Bob!

Palo Alto (2013) - full transcript