Pajama Party (1964) - full transcript

♪Hey, Mr. Sun
come on and shine ♪

♪hey, Mr. Sun
it's party time ♪

♪we're feelin' great, yeah
we're feelin' fine ♪

♪it's that kind of day
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪hey, Mr. Sun
we'll be on time ♪

♪hey, Mr. Sun
you've gotta shine ♪

♪we're feelin' great, yeah
we're feelin' fine ♪

♪it's that kind of day

♪wanna whistle ♪

♪Yeah, you're feelin'
like you wanna sing ♪

♪feelin' happy ♪



♪Happy 'cause you know
what the day's gonna bring ♪

♪hey, Mr. Sun
you're right on time ♪

♪hey, Mr. Sun
the pleasure's mine ♪

♪we're feelin' great, yeah
we're feelin' fine ♪

♪it's that kind of day

♪

♪we're feelin' great, yeah
we're feelin' fine ♪

♪it's that kind of day
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪

♪we're feelin' great, yeah
we're feelin' fine ♪

♪it's that kind of day

♪wanna whistle ♪

♪Yeah, you feel like
you wanna sing ♪

♪feelin' happy ♪



♪Happy 'cause you know
what the day's gonna bring ♪

♪hey, Mr. Sun
you're right on time ♪

♪hey, Mr. Sun
the pleasure's mine ♪

♪we're feelin' great, yeah
we're feelin' fine ♪

♪it's that kind of day
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪it's that kind of day
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪it's that kind of day

I say, let's call
the whole invasion off.

What do we need
with a crazy planet ?

That's not it.
We owe it
to the universe.

If those are earth teenagers,
they've got to cause trouble
when they grow up.

You picked the biggest
goof-off on all Mars
to be the advance man.

Naturally. He's so stupid
that if he's captured,
he'll confuse the enemy.

That's part of our plan.
Here he comes.

It's not
that I don't like him.
I can't stand him !

So if you'll excuse me,
I'll leave now.

Plang.

Plang.

Plang.plang. You look
like some kind of nut.

I can't help it.
This is the way
earth people dress.

I've been studying
their habits
for the past three years.

So be it. Know your mission ?to prepare the way
for the infiltration.

Good. In 48 hours then,be ready to meetthe first party of ten on earth.

Plang.

Ooh-yee-hoo-hoo !

Big lunk ?hmm ?

Look over there.

Doesn't that make
you think of something ? Heck, yeah.

It's time for
volleyball practice !

Come on, team.

Big lunk !

Mush !

What'd you go
and do that for ?

It is time
for volleyball practice !

I'm not asking why
you did it, I'm telling you
you're right and he's wrong.

Thanks, vikki.
How do you know ?

Don't you remember ?
I went with him
last year.

Come on, gang,
let's head for the beach
and volleyball.

And leave the girls ?no. We need vikki
for setter.

What about love,
romance, cool lips
and moonlight ?

Sounds great.
Never tried playing volleyball
in the moonlight.

Maybe we'll try it tonight.
Come on.

I'm comin', I'm comin'.

All right ! Will ya--

I'm comin',
I told ya.

All right, will ya ?
Yeah ?

Boss, it's fleegle.Hello, fleegle ? Where are ya ?I'm gettin' waterlogged.

Are you in the bath tub ?no, stupid,
I'm not in the bathtub.

Then where are you ?look, fleegle,
listen very carefully.

Right next door is more money
than you and me has ever seen.

Boss, i--I'm sitting here
on my big raft doing nothin'.

What ?
Stop stuttering.But, boss--

now look, get that Indian
and that Swede and
get 'em up here right away.

Boss, I got something
to tell you.What's that ?

I'm not a mechanic.Where are you ?

Sycamore and valley.You knucklehead. You're
at the bottom of the hill.

Walk up here and try not
to attract any attention.
Ya hear me ?

Yeah, but--right away !

That stupid idiot.

Boss, that's a long walk
up the hill and it's--

but, but, but--what ?

All right, team, let's go.
Jilda, serve the way
I showed you. Come on, baby.

Come on.
Jilda, i--

what happened to him ?

Oh, you're all looking
so healthy this morning !

Now, breathe deeply.

Because we have a nice
warm summer coming,

and I want to bring
the color to your cheeks.

Ooh ! Mmm.

Harold, Cynthia,
not yet.

I shall have
to talk to you about
the birds and the bees,

and the teenagers.

I know it takes self-control, but there's a time and a place for everything.

Now, listen
to the leaves rustling,

and the birds singing. Psst !

- Psst !
- Oh, heavens, is it possible
there's a snake in the grass ?

Psst ! Up here !

You're casting shadows
on my roses.

Terribly sorry.

I should hope so.
What if I were having
a sunbath ?

It's kinda embarrassing
for me, I mean, coming
from Mars and like that.

But my power jet pack
just pooped out...
Right here.

- Did you say from Mars ?
- Yeah.
Don't you believe me ?

Do you believe
I talk to flowers ?

Why, certainly.
Why not ?

Then I believe
that you come from Mars.

I thought maybe if you could
throw me up a rope,
you could pull me down.

Oh, oh, certainly.

So, that nutty advance man
of yours made conduct.

With what ?
What's an "aunt Wendy" ?

An aunt Wendy is a reasonably
average earth adult.

If she's average,
I don't see why we want
the place so badly.

Oh, gosh, Connie,
I didn't mean to hit
big lunk on the head.

It happens.
But his head
is his weak spot.

I'll say !
I guess that blows
the volleyball game.

Volleyball ?

What are you
standing around for ?
Let's get practicing !

Let's go, champ !

Team, let's get cracking.
Big lunk ?

- Aren't you forgetting
something ?
- Oh, yeah.

You can see better
from over here, honey.

All right, team, let's go.
Come on, hit it.

Oh ! Him !

Him ! Did I tell ya ?
Did I tell ya right ?

Yeah, you sure did
tell us right, boss.

Look at them, getting
footprints all over our beach.

That's right, boss.
Footprints all over except
where they were sittin'.

We gotta chase them off
the beach before they
got it all footprinted up.

Aah !

J.d., you and alberta
take the lead.

I, Eric Von zipper,
your leader, will personally
bring up the rear.

Let's go !

Big lunk !

They got the boss !

Boy, someone's
gonna get it for this !

Someone's really
gonna get it.

Oh, boy,
he's gonna be mad.
He hates fish.

They're responsible.Yeah ! You wait
till he comes to !

You're gonna get
Eric Von zipper's
revenge, boy !

I can hardly wait !

Hey, what happened ?

As usual, nothing !
Here, why don't you blow ?

I don't understand you.
I tell you I'm a martian.

I tell you there'll be ten
more like me in 48 hours.
What does that mean to you ?

Forty-eight hours ?
That's two days.

Now, now, keep still, dear.
Please.

You don't believe
I'm from Mars, right ?i believe.

I'll prove it to you.
This is my transducer.

Oh, we don't use words
like that in this house, dear.

You're just the right size
for big lunk's
last year's clothes.

A transducer is what
you earth people call
a ray gun.

Oh, yes, I know.
Big lunk
used to play with them...

Before he discovered
the pogo stick.

I'll show you
what it can do.

Oh !
Isn't that nice ?

Have you ever thought
of becoming a magician ?
On the stage ? In vaudeville ?

You'd look very handsome
in a tuxedo.

Listen,
we're gonna take over !

Yes, I know.
Young people eventually do.

What a wonderful color
with your eyes.

I'll show you exactly
what's going to happen.

You just sit down
and wait a minute.

You're going to put on
a magic show for me ?

Yeah, I'm gonna put on
a magic show for ya.

This is my teleporter.

It looks very convenient.
Is it a kind of radio ?

Now, with this,
I can send anything I want
directly to Mars...

In one hundred-thousandthof a millisecondmerely by adjusting these dials.

Can you now ?
What do they need ?

- They don't need anything.
- Well, why send it to them ?

- The sign's in there, right ?
- Right.

Now, I turn
the teleporter on,

position the function dial
to "transmit,"

um, set the time lapse
to zero.

Now, watch.

I have just sent
the bus stop sign to Mars !

How wonderful !
Do they have buses there ?

- No.
- Well, why do you send it
there then ?

They won't do anything
with the bus stop sign.

Don't worry, dear.
You did a very nice trick.

And I'm delighted to get
that old sign out of the room.

Listen, I'm trying
to tell you something.

There's going to be an invasion
of a whole army of others
just like me !

Oh, isn't that nice.

But I suggest you get
hotel reservations. Summers
at the beach can be awful.

People come from all over.
Your friends won't be able
to get rooms.

Look, just by reversing
the process,

I set this dial
to "receive."

I set the time lapse
to whatever time I want...

And whoever is
in the receiving area on Mars,
eventually it will be an army,

will materialize one by one
in there !

Oh, good ! We have a lot
of very nice unattached girls
around here.

And I would be happyto introduce any of your friendsto any of my young friends.

By the way,
how do I introduce you ?pleasantly, I hope.

I didn't mean that.
What's your name ?go go.

I beg your pardon ?go go.

Go go ?
Oh, that's ridiculous.
I shall call you George.

You follow me down tothe pool house and we'll get youinto a proper swimsuit...

And out of thatfoolish-looking Usher's uniform.

Why do things have to be
so difficult ?

George, are you coming ?

George ?

That's me !

♪

♪

♪

What are we doing this for ?i don't know why you do 'em,
I like 'em sensation.

Since you know how to speakto her, get that blonde herewhile I go looking for the boss.

Ugh.don't use that word no more.
I don't like it.

Yoo-hoo ! Boss !
Boss !

Cowabonga !
Make chop-chop.

Yoo-hoo ! Boss ?
Mr. Hulk ! Yoo--

oh. We go in house.

Mr. Hulk tell you what room,
then you take-um bath.
Follow me.

Ja, ja, ja.

♪

♪Out where the sun shines
bright all day ♪

♪down the coast
toward Malibu way ♪

♪that's where we dance
that's where we swim ♪

♪where there's a her
for every him ♪

♪'cause that's
the way it's done
among the young ♪

♪suntanned boys
in surfer pants ♪

♪teaching all the girls
the latest dance ♪

♪we walk the dog
we do the twist ♪

♪we do the swim
it goes like this ♪

♪'cause that's the way
it's done among the young ♪

♪Girls in bikinis
steal the show ♪

♪yeah, walkin' down the beach
to and fro ♪

♪it's summertime
we have a ball ♪

♪we live it up
till the fall ♪

♪'cause that's the way
it's done among the young ♪

♪among the young

♪that's the way it's done
among the very young ♪

♪that's the way it's done
among the very young ♪

♪that's the way it's done
among the young ♪

♪'cause that's the way

♪that's the way it's done

♪among the young

Yeah !

Mush !

Hello ?

So we made a slight mistake.
I thought that house
next door was yours.

I guess they're still there.

You nitwit birdbrain !

That's the house
where we're working the scam,
and I hope for your sake,

the blonde don't run
into the old lady's nephew,
big lunk.

If she does, it could blow
the whole master plan.

Ow !
Master plan.

That's got something to do
with what we're doing here,
right, boss ?

Listen and I'll give you
a rundown
of the whole master plan.

We rented this house
because of the old tomato
next door,

affectionately known
to the teenager element of
the community as "aunt Wendy."

You gonna squeeze my nose
again if I ask a question ?no. What is it ?

Who is aunt Wendy ?
And what the heck
are we doing here ?

Aunt Wendy happens to run
the most expensive dress shop
in this town.

She sells only to teenagers.

She loses money
on every dress she sells,
so how does she stay alive ?

Volume ?wrong !

Keep hitting me like that
and I'm gonna hear birds.

Aunt Wendy's husband
died 20 years ago.
He was a millionaire.

Only he didn't leave no dough
in the bank.
What does that mean to you ?

I don't know,
but whatever you say,
I agree.

I'll tell you. It means
there's millions of bucks
of cash hidden in that house.

Every two weeks,
that old ding-a-ling sends
her beetle-browed nephew,

who goes by the
suspicious name of big lunk,
to the bank with 25 grand.

That's to make up
the deficit of the dress shop.
Now, do you get the picture ?

Yeah, we bust in,
find the dough
and blast off, right ?

Wrong !
We don't use brute force.
We use brains !

Remember ?
Who's the king of the con men ?you, boss.

J. Sinister hulk himself.

You can say that again.

Now then, obviously
that middle-aged fruitcake...

Ain't gonna show us where
she stashed the loot, right ?whatever you say, boss.

Now what do we do ?
We attack the weakest link,
"big lunk."

"Big link" ?big lunk !

Aah !

Mmmmm !

Mmmmm.

Hi !

Really, i--

They like to be
formally introduced.

Hey, you forgot this !

Boss ! Boss !
They're coming !

See ?
I told you not to worry.

Gimme those opera glasses
before you hurt yourself.

Oh, yeah,
that's my blonde, all right.

Me good Indian !
Me surrender.

Stop ! Stop !
You forgot your brush !

That's what you call
an intelligence officer ?
That's what I call a nut !

I call him a nut too, but look
how nicely he fits in on earth,
chasing Indians and blondes.

He's so stupid,
he'll probably catch
the Indian.

Connie, how are you,
my dear ?

Fine, I guess.

No, I'm not.
I'm just miserable.

It's the big lunk
of a nephew of mine,
isn't it ?

Yeah.he's just
a great big clown,

and he doesn't know a
good thing when he sees it.

You have nothing
to worry about.

You're lovely, intelligent,
and a dear, sweet girl.

Somehow it doesn't seem
to be enough.

I have it !what ?

The solution.
We'll make him jealous.

With who ?
Or is it "with whom" ?

Don't look now,
but he's coming
down the beach.

Is he nice-looking ?he's positively
handsome.

What should i--

this afternoon I'll be
at my shop. You ask him
to drive you there.

I've got a new dress
for you to try on
that'll knock his eyes out.

Guaranteed... date bait.

But, but, but--

stop sputtering
like a motorboat,
and try to look seductive.

Oh, there you are,
my dear George !

George ? Oh, yes, George.
My name is George.

My name is George.Oh, silly boy !

Of course I know.
What's that ?

Where did you get it ?i went back to the house
to get a shirt.

There was someone
in the bathroom,
and she dropped this.

Huh ? Oh, dear.
Are you sure you
were in the right house ?

I'm certain.
This person appeared
to be washing herself.

Then she hit me
with a wet sponge
and started running.

An American Indian with
a tomahawk started chasing
her into the bushes.

I ran after them,
but they disappeared.

This kid is a kook !

No, dear, not a kook.
He's a martian.

A martian ?yes, from Mars.

- Both you birds
belong in a clock !

Forgive me, George.

May I introduce Connie ?how do you do ?

Whoa !

Thank you.

Sure, sure.

How nice. I know
the two of you are going
to like each other.

Be sure to come
to my shop this afternoon.

Shop this afternoon !
You wouldn't have to shop
this afternoon...

If you hadn't
messed things up.

What mess up ?what kind of Indian
are you ?

First you get lost
on the freeway,

then you go
to the wrong house,
and you let her take a bath.

No can stop her
once she make-um up mind
to take bath.

Oh, ja, ja, ja.

Ja, ja, ja.
Will you turn her off ?

Ja, ja, ja--

how can a man run
an organization...

When he's surrounded
by stupid incompetents ?

- I don't know, boss. How ?
- You shut up.

And you take her into town
to that dress shop
I told you about...

That that
aunt Wendy flip runs.

The kids dig her stuff.
And whatever she spends,
I'll take out of your salary.

Cowabonga !

You bet your fat feathers,
cowabonga !

And you, will you sit down
someplace and try
to keep outta trouble ?

Sure, boss. You don't have
another chair like this ?no, stupid, one's enough.

What happens
if you turn this ?

Aah !

Boss, speak to me.

No can speak.
Kiskas squashed.The whole thing was an accident.

Being an intelligence officer,
I shouldn't have told
aunt Wendy, but I am from Mars.

And I'm from Venus.

Here, do my back.It looks done.

Venus, that's strange.

Most of the girls
I met from Venus
were green and had gills.

Lovely creatures.

I don't understand
you earth people...

After all the studying
I've done of earth habits.

Mmm. Earth habits ?

Customs, idioms.
Twenty-three skidoo !we don't say that anymore.

Cowabonga ?some of us say that.

George Washington,
Abraham Lincoln,
Mickey mantle,

Frankie avalon--you certainly have
a well-rounded education.

And you have
a well-rounded--what ?

All right.
You gotta cause disasters,
huh ?

Now, no more disasters.
Sure ! Sure !
Mumble, mumble.

Right, cutie ? Ja, ja.

Cowabonga.
Car ready.

Listen, featherbrain,
I want you to take
this yellow-top canary...

Into that dress shop in town
that I told you about.

Now, no accidents,
and I don't want you to get
lost this time, understand ?

Chief rotten eagle
never get lost.

Sometimes he not know
where he is,
but never lost.

Ja, ja, ja.

Ja, ja, ja.
Now, get goin'.

And when you're in town
keep your eyes peeled
for that big lunk kid.

If you see him,
sic Helga on him, got-um ?

Got-um.
How chief rotten eagle know
big lunk when he see him ?

That's easy. He's always
wearin' this goofy broad-billed
red baseball cap.

Got-um. Goofy broad...
Red baseball cap.

Forget it !
It's gonna do ya no good.

You're gonna stay tied up
like that for quite a while.

You know something ?
You're accident prone.

Big lunk, are you sure
you don't mind loaning me
your car ?

Of course not.
Anything you want.

You know I'm waiting
for another boy.

Good ! Good !
Then you won't be lonesome.

What if he
makes a pass at me
while we're driving ?

Makes a pass ?
At you ? Ha.

Oh, if you don't think--i trust you, honey.
You're a buddy.

Well, that does it !

Hey !

Isn't that my sport coat ?
My slacks !
And my shoes !

You're absolutely right.
Your aunt said
you wouldn't mind.

Oh, my clothes, my car,
my girl.

Is there anything else
you'd like ?

Well, now
that you mention it,

I've never seen a hat
like that before.

Harry, you like
this sidecar ?

Jerome, when we attach it,
you're my chauffeur.

You sure gotta hand it
to that Eric Von zipper.

Yeah, if you don't,
he'll take it from you
anyway.

Man ! Is this great ?
Is this great ?

J.d., listen,

how am I gonna recognize
that kid that's the leader
of them volleyball kids ?

Oh, he always wears
that dopey broad-billed
red baseball hat.

Yeah ? Him I want first.
The kid
with the dopey broad--

Billed--i can say it.

The kid with
the dopey--
with the red baseball cap.

Right ?
right !

You're staring at me.I know.

That's rude.I'm sorry.

When you met me,
did you feel something...
Funny in here ?

Boys aren't supposed
to ask questions like that.

Oh. I'm not sure
of the rules yet.

I felt something funny...

Like, like I went
all soft inside.

Are you for real ?what do you mean ?

It's the things you say.
It's almost as though
you're from another world.

Did aunt Wendy
tell you ?tell me what ?

That I'm from Mars.
I am, you know.I can believe it.

Can you ? I don't know why,
but it's very important to me
that you do.

Tell me, do people...
Get married there ?

Certainly.
We get numbers.

And when the central committee
feels we're ripe,
we have a lottery...

And each boy gets the girl
whose number he holds.

Oh, that sounds
real romantic !

That's what happened
inside me. What ?

I said to myself,
"when the numbers are
passed out, I hope I win her."

Oh, brother !

Are you angry at me ?

I don't think so.
You're a flip,
but a sweet one, I think.

♪There has to be
a reason ♪

♪for every little thing

♪there has to be
a summer ♪

♪to follow every spring

♪there has to be
a reason ♪

♪for every night and day

♪there has to be
a reason ♪

♪just why I feel
this way ♪

♪as a matter of fact

♪it's easy to see

♪it's really
nothing new ♪

♪it's a natural act
plain as can be ♪

♪it's why there's me
and you ♪

♪there has to be
a reason ♪♪there has to be a reason

♪as sure as
night and day ♪♪as sure as night and day

♪I know you're the reason ♪and I know
you're the reason ♪

♪why I feel this way

♪as a matter of fact

♪it's easy to see

♪it's really
nothing new ♪

♪it's a natural act
plain as can be ♪

♪it's why there's me
and you ♪

♪there has to be
a reason ♪♪there has to be a reason

♪as sure
as night and day ♪♪as sure as night and day

♪I know you're the reason ♪and I know
you're the reason ♪

♪why I feel this way

♪and I know
you're the reason ♪♪I know you're the reason

♪why I feel this way

- Hey, chief ?
- Hey, chief ? What ?

I think we got one.Are you sure, Robert ?

Positive, and we got the leader.The cat with the dopeybroad-billed red baseball hat.

Oh, he's the one I want.
He is personally gonna get
Von zipper's revenge.

I will show him
no mercy.
I will stomp on him.

I will break him in half.
I will even break
his glasses.

Boss, boss ?what ?

They're gettin' a head start
on us, and if you wanna
catch 'em, we gotta hurry.

What are you making a speech ?
Let's get them !
Get off the bike !

Come on, let's go !he's on my bike !

Will you get off
his bike ?
Get on your own bike !

Don't you know--
Jerome, you're driving.

Ready ?

♪Good afternoon, ladies
may we present ♪

♪fashions to please you
that is our intent ♪

♪first may we show
for that waltz
'round the town ♪

♪the latest thing
in milady's evening gown ♪

♪

♪Wait a minute now
something's wrong ♪

♪that kind of dancing
just doesn't belong ♪

♪in my day
we never did it that way ♪

♪in my day
we used to swing
and sway ♪

♪in my day
we never did it this way ♪

♪where did I go wrong

♪now back to the show
a playsuit that's new ♪

♪it's daring and bold
and just meant for you ♪

♪hold everything
I know that's wrong ♪

♪won't you tell me now
what's going on ♪

♪in my day
we never did it that way ♪

♪in my day
we used to swing and sway ♪

♪in my day
we never did it this way ♪

♪where did I go wrong

♪now on with the show
if you want to impress ♪

♪I know you'll enjoy
this lovely party dress ♪

♪stop this minute
now that's all wrong ♪

♪that's a party dress
not a sarong ♪

♪in my day
we never did it that way ♪

♪in my day
the hula was the way ♪

♪in my day
we never did it this way ♪

♪where did I go wrong

♪but of course the show
for you to please him ♪

♪here is a suit
it's just right
for the swim ♪

♪Wait a minute now
what's going on ♪

♪you can't go swimming
when the water's gone ♪

♪in my day
we never did it
that way ♪

♪in my day
we used to swing
and sway ♪

♪in my day
we never did it this way ♪

♪where did I go wrong

Thanks !
Wasn't that fun ?

Now back to work.

Really !
They're going to model
a topless bathing suit.

They wouldn't dare.

Do you see
what I see ?

It appears to be an Indian.

I'll tell him to make
another reservation...
Someplace else.

That exquisite creature
with him, doesn't
she dress excitingly ?

You like this outfit ?outfit okay.
Me like hair.

Good collector's item.

Cowabonga !

Instant scalp.

If you like it,
you may keep it.
May I help you ?

Squaw got no clothes.
Boss man say fix her
with soup to nuts.

Money no count.
Must look like pocahontas.

Pocahontas ?
I'll see what we can do.
Follow me, dear.

Wait.
Squaw foreigner.

No speak our forked tongue.
I tell her.

Ja, ja, ja.

Cowabonga.

Goofy broad
with red baseball cap.

Don't go away.

Hello, my dear.Hi, aunt Wendy.

What a pleasant surprise.

I have a lovely
new dress for you.

George.

You wanna see something ?

I have a fine view
from here. Thank you.

That's not what
I have in mind.I was afraid of that.

You like-um ?oh, yes, it's very nice.
Very, very nice.

You want-um ?

Well, I always wear my hair
this way. Short.

You make-um trade ?
This... for that ?

You stupid !

Jerome, who taught you
to drive crazy like that ?

Don't you remember ?
You taught me.

Okay. Chief rotten eagle
sic blonde bombshell on you.

You get what you deserve.

- Hey, boss !
- What ?

- The guy with the red hat.
- He's in here.

Oh, yeah.
Now he will get lumped up.
Follow me.

Aah !

I said "follow me."
Who is the leader ?

You are.

Aaah !

Ugh.
Me make mistake.

Oh, that's all right,
madam.

"Madam" ?

Ja, ja, ja !

Come now.
We got work do.
Red cap out there.

Oh, ja, ja, ja.

I'm afraid we might be in
for some trouble.

Oh, is that all ?
Things like this
occasionally happened on Mars.

I am gonna wear
your hat.

Gotcha, boss.

Now, what do you think
of that ?

I think it looks
very nice on you.

'Cause that's exactly
what I'm gonna--
it does ? Really ?

Ja, ja, ja, ja !

What ? What ?

Stop. You're breaking
my glasses !

Oh, you're slippery.

You want some help,
boss ?mind your own business.

You have no clothes on.Stop-um.

Where is the rest
of your things ?got-um wrong red cap.

Where is--
ooh ! Ooh !go get-um.

Wait, wait, stop.
Please.

Mush !

Let him go !
Let him go !

I think it's
some new teenage game.

What are you doing with
my girl ? He took my girl !
I like her. She's nifty !

- I think I'm jealous !
- I like her too.
I think she's nifty.

Oh, dear, oh, dear,
it's commencing !

Stop this !
Stop it immediately !

Big lunk,
you came for me !i came for my baseball cap.

Cowabonga !
Wrong paleface again.

His baseball cap ?

Now we go catch-um
real red cap paleface.

Start-um car
before trouble start.

Why are we driving
like this ?

This no time to be fussy.

Charge !

Ja, ja.

Faster, faster !

Watch the bike !
Be careful and
do not endanger us !

Faster.

What he done that for ?

It's awfully nice of you
to give me this lift.

Yeah, yeah, lady.

Ah, don't call me lady.

Ya-hoo !

Get them ! Get them !
Come back !

Why me ?
Why me all the time ?

Connie ?

Well ?i just wanted
to explain something.

I'm new here, and
I'm getting all mixed up.

Explain what ?

Nothing.
Just that I want
to be with you.

Sure you do.
You really looked like
you wanted to be with me...

When you were playing
Romeo and Juliet
with that peroxide blonde.

But she grabbed me !
I didn't want to hurt
her feelings.

- What about my feelings ?
- I wouldn't hurt your feelings
for anything !

You're right !
Not anymore, buddy,
not anymore.

♪

♪Stuffed animal

♪a stuffed animal
is better than he ♪

♪soft and cuddly
and stays close to me ♪

♪always gentle
as a matter of fact ♪

♪a stuffed animal
never talks back ♪

♪a stuffed animal
is more than a toy ♪

♪soft and cuddly
and not like a boy ♪

♪when you're wondering
if he loves you so ♪

♪a stuffed animal
never says no ♪

♪sure a boy
can hold your hand ♪

♪and whisper
in your ear ♪

♪but things he'll say
are not always ♪

♪things you've
been waiting to hear ♪

♪a stuffed animal
just loves to be kissed ♪

♪soft and cuddly
and hard to resist ♪

♪but one little thing
I'll have to agree ♪

♪a stuffed animal
never kissed me ♪

♪never kissed me

- something's wrong.
- Nothing !

Okay, something.Uh-huh.

Just as I suspected.
Connie, you're in love
with George.

But, boss, if that Helga broad can't speak english,

how is she gonna get
that big lunk to talk ?

And then, how is she
gonna tell it to you ?

So, what does it look like

it's a wire recorder.
I had two of 'em made special.

Helga's wearing the other one.

Inside of this is
a very sensitive microphone.

At this very instant,
our blonde beauty is plying...

That lamebrained refugeefrom a volleyball court with aquestion that will bedazzle him.

But, boss, how do you know
you'll get the information
you want ?

J. Sinister hulk
thinks of everything.

I learned her to talk
a little english.

And that phrase
will win the ball game for me.

Rotten, forget the fire.

I think I'm catching
a cold, anyway.

I was playing left tackle.
This was at high school.

The coach didn't like me much.
Something about my marks.
Understand ?

I gotta interrupt
this interesting story...

To tell you how much
I admire you.

You're one girl
that knows how to listen.

You're... not bad
at kissing, either.

"Dat" is very interesting.
Tell me.

Anything, baby.

Do you know where your aunt
keeps her money ?

Tell me "Dee" answer.
Speak in here slowly.

A funny thing you
should ask that question
about aunt Wendy's money.

It seems that--

Good evening, Henry.

Even though you're gone,
somehow I have a feeling...

That you're somewhere up there
looking out after me.

Your nephew, big lunk,
he's a good boy,

but I don't want him
to hurt Connie.

She's a fine girl.
Hmm ?

What's that ?

They'll each find
their own happiness ?

Oh, thank you, Henry.
You're such a comfort to me.

I know that you'll pardon me
if I get the money now.

Thank you, Henry.
You were a very good husband.

Gee, doll,
it's been a great night. Ja, ja.

The thing I like about you
especially is the way
you carry on a conversation.

Ja, ja.

Before you go,
could we do it
just one more time ?

Son of a gun ! Ja.

Can I see you again
tomorrow ? Ja, ja.

Hey, Helga !

Ja.
Ya-hoo !

All right,
let's have it.

Play it fast, boss.
We're gonna be rich.

We're gonna
all be rich.Don't crowd me !

We're gonna get
a lot of wampum.
Oh, boy.

Me buy Cadillac car.
Maybe oil well.

Hold it, hold it.
Just be quiet.

Do you know where
your aunt keeps her money ?

Tell me "Dee" answer.

Speak in here slowly.

A funny thing
you should ask that question
about aunt Wendy's money.

Oh, boy,
here it comes.Shh !

It seems
she thinks I'm a dope, so she
never told me about the money.

Everybody knows it's
in the house somewhere.

What ?turn it off, boss.
I heard enough.

I may cry.Well, I'm not beaten yet.

Tomorrow's another day.You got a plan ?

Have I got a plan !

Who's the king
of the con men ?you, boss, you're the king.

Intelligence operator 006
to Mars.

Intelligence operator 006
to Mars.

Intelligence operator 006
to Mars.

Attempting to resume
interrupted conversation
of last earth evening.

Do you read me ? you are being
heard and recorded.

Only 15 earth hours are left
before we send
the first troops through.

Time for final countdown
and check.

- Maybe you were right.
- Maybe he is too much of a nut. I am ready.

The volunteers are assembling
for teleportation
at this moment.

Stand by to set
your teleporter
to precisely 15.

Five, four,

three, two, one.

Set !

Teleporter set. Excellent.

Teleportation will now
proceed as scheduled.

Until earth landing time,
this is sucom signing off.

Off and out.

Connie !

You are a martian !

It wasn't a joke,
a trick.

No, Connie,
it was no joke,
no trick.

Holy cow ! With everyone
in the whole world
to fall in love with,

I had to pick a martian !

Well, good morning !
Good morning, my friends !
What a beautiful day !

You know, I was lying in bed
thinking last night,

and with concentrated
brain power, I turned
defeat into victory.

You figured out how
we can get the dough ?

In elaborate detail.

Good morning,
my short-feathered friend.

What am I gonna have
this morning ?
I think I'll, uh--

I'll have two eggs,
sunny side up, toast
and coffee, on the double.

I'll have some--nothing. Drink your juice.
You've got work to do.

Boss, on
an empty stomach ?

Couldn't be any worse
than what you've been doing
on an empty head.

Tonight we're gonna have
a party... a pajama party.

That's what the kids like.
We'll get the old doll
to chaperon.

Two eggs sunny-side up-um.

Two eggs sunny-side up-um.Sunny-side up-um.
Okay.

What's the occasion
for the pajama party ?that's where you come in.

This party's gonna be
for our teenage relatives...

So they can meet
the old doll's
teenage relatives.

That way we can get everybody
out of her house.

What teenage relatives
do we got ?that's your department.

I want you to go into town.
Try to dig up some clean-cut,
typical American youths.

Invite them to the party,
and tell them...

That if they act like
my nieces and nephews, there's
a five-spot in it for them.

Typical American
teenage youths.

One other thing, old pal.
One favor.

Try not to louse me up
this time !

If I was a typical American
teenage youth,
where would I be ?

Hold it. Walk slow.
I don't want no accidents
today, understand ?

Slowly.right.

You like-um eggs
scrambled ?

No, no.

Touch the nice water.
Alberta's not afraid
to touch the nice water.

Aah !
How do you know there
ain't no sharks in there ?

Well, what do we have here ?

Some typical, clean-cut
American youths.

Listen, youths.

How would you all
like to make a five-spot ?

Maybe you're not
typical, clean-cut
American youths.

We are, we are.
Tell him.

We are typical, clean-cut
American youths.

See ?
What did I tell you ?

I like him.
Him, I like.

And anything this gentlemen
wants us to do, we do.

I believe you mentioned
somethin' about a five-spot.Yeah.

But first, you're invited
to a pajama party.

♪

♪

♪

I want to thank you,
Mrs. Carruthers,

for consenting to chaperone
our party tonight.

It was my pleasure.
I welcome the opportunity
of meeting my new neighbors.

♪

This is a pajama party ?

♪

♪we're gonna get together
tonight, tonight ♪

♪tell everybody
that the time is right ♪

♪just after 8:00
we'll congregate ♪

♪pajama party tonight

♪gonna get together
and dance all night ♪

♪and do some talkin'
while the moon is right ♪

♪so get your date
and don't be late ♪

♪pajama party tonight

♪oh what a party tonight

♪we'll have a party
tonight ♪

♪don't you know
it's the latest craze ♪

♪havin' a party
wearin' your p.J.'S ♪

♪gonna get together tonight
that's right ♪

♪we're gonna dance
till the broad daylight ♪

♪so gather 'round
where the fun is found ♪

♪pajama party tonight

♪Just after 8:00
we'll congregate ♪

♪pajama party tonight

♪So get your date
and don't be late ♪

♪pajama party tonight

♪oh, what a party tonight

♪we'll have a party tonight

♪don't you know
it's the latest craze ♪

♪havin' a party
wearin' your p.J.'S ♪

♪gonna get together tonight
that's right ♪

♪we're gonna dance
till the broad daylight ♪

♪so gather 'round
where the fun is found ♪

♪pajama party tonight
yeah, yeah ♪

♪pajama party tonight
uh-huh ♪

♪pajama party tonight

♪

Yes, I love teenagers.

I'm so anxious to meet
your guests of honor.

So am I.
They oughta be here
any minute.

Just typical, clean-cut
American youths.

And your ward,
miss svenska.Oh, ja, ja.

When big lunk came home
talking about her,

I must confess I was
somewhat concerned.

But now, all I have
to worry about is--

Connie.yes ?

I've made my decision.Oh ?

From now on,
you're my people.

Or do I have to worry
about her ?

Boss ?

What it is ?we better get moving on that
important stock transfer deal.

Chief rotten eagle
is waiting.

What about
my guests of honor ?they just came up the driveway.

For once you did
something right.

Would you excuse us ?
My associate and I have
a business deal to conclude.

Of course.
My husband often said,

"business before pleasure."

I shall be delighted
to greet your guests for you.

Enchante.

Oh, you must be
the guests of honor.

We must ?
Oh, yeah.

Hey, boss, you know
who's here ?who ?

Those volleyball kids.Oh, yeah.

Hey, there's that
red cap fella.

What're they doin' ?
He's fightin' with my girl !

Let's break this thing up.

Boys, please, let's
not have any trouble.Get her out of here !

Put me down !
Let me down !

Stop it ! How dare you !stay there
and you won't get hurt.

Eric Von zipper's gang
never hurts females.

Especially older dolls
like you.Let me down ! Let me down !

Ooh !
You stupid--

Look, boss !
I found something.
A wall safe.

Don't touch it.

It's got dials on it.
You notice ?

Let the old master
have a crack at it.

Now do the back.Yeah.

Get outta here.

I think it works
electrically.

Huh ?

It's on.You're a genius,
boss.

In exactly five minutes,
teleportation will take place.

Earth is ready

you peanut brain !
Why did you tell me
it was a wall safe ?

It's on wall.

That really is great !

Hey, you !
You ! That's my girl !

She loves me !
She kissed me !

You missed me !

Not the water.
Not the water !

I am not yet done.

Eric Von zipper
is never defeated.

I shall return.

Not if I have anything
to say about it.

Here we go again.

I think the party's over.

Wait a minute.

She's telling me something.I don't hear anything.

It's mental.
Telepathic waves.

Yeah. Yeah.

Ja, ja, ja.

Where're we going ?back to your house.

Fellas, girls,
that was just the beginning
of the evening's entertainment.

- Go on with the party.
Let's go.
- Wait a minute !

I don't know what
this is all about, but...

You sure it's
in this room ?it's gotta be.

There ain't no other room
big enough to hold
all that loot !

What are we looking for ?anything suspicious.

Only thing suspicious
is us.

Look, cowabonga,if I want your opinion,I'll give it to you, all right ?

♪

I think we've got company.Why don't you look out
the door, you lamebrain ?

You're an Indian scout.
You look out the door.

Time come to tell the truth.
Me red man with yellow streak.

Real name
chief chicken feather.

We'll all look out the door
together, you stupid--

now !

Take-um to hills !

Charge !

Boss, in here.

Boss, in here.

Yeah, good thinking
for once.

Where'd they go ?

What's going on ?
What's the dial thing ?

Funny. I had an idea
they might be inside there.

Guess I was wrong.Maybe you weren't wrong.

What do you mean ?i think
we're rid of them.

But our loss is
somebody else's gain.I don't understand any of this.

You don't have to.
Let's get back to the party.

♪

I know you'll both
be very happy. Ja, ja, ja.

Thank you,
aunt Wendy.Helga ?

You know,
the fun in being young
is being together...

With someone you like.

Connie ?

For every man...
There is a woman.

But what have I got ?

You ! Come on !
Let's have a swim.

Mush !

Mmm.
Say, that's not bad.

Look, a shooting star !

I've been trying to figure out
where we went wrong.

I know. It wasn't
the teenagers on earth
we had to be afraid of.

It was the adults.

Show me a crazy teenager,
and in ten years
I'll show you a crazy adult.

I vote we forget
the whole thing.

We won't bother them,
and they won't bother us.

Listen to me.
I can explain.He can explain.

They invaded us ?

Do you believe this ?

♪

♪

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