Out and About (2022) - full transcript

Inside the mind of a middle-aged man as he tries to come to terms with his life over the course of an afternoon walk through his hometown.

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No wonder
I don't come up here
more often.

This hill always seems endless.

Nah, don't complain.

It's good to do this
every now and then.

Hill-and-dale is always better

than going along the aqueduct
or around the track.

I'm really
working the calves here.

Just keep walking.

Good for fitness,
good for mental health,

good for general health.

Three things, no downside.

Just keep going
and appreciate I have two legs

and can walk at all,

even if my knee clicks
every fourth step.

Use it or lose it.

What do all these people do?

How did they figure it out?

How did they end up here
in the best houses in town?

What is this guy?

at Columbia Presbyterian maybe?

Top of his class at Yale,
destined for achievement,

ending up exactly
where he thought he would.

And these ones.

Maybe two finance people.

Middle-class types
who went to state schools

and worked a little harder
than everyone else,

exceeding their expectations
and ending up in a house

much nicer than
the ones they grew up in.

Everything working out
just right.

Living the dream.

Yeah, money and success
don't buy happiness,

but it's got to help.

The women are prettier up here.

And married.

I can tell a married woman
30 feet away.

And up here,
they've got the resources

to preserve and enhance
whatever got them

to the top
of the hill in the first place.

Survival of the fittest.

The rich get richer.

Maybe same goes for the men.

All the best ones are taken.

What does she
think when she sees me?

That's a reasonably
attractive guy?

Or that's some weirdo
walking in her neighborhood?

Some guy who's
older than her husband
and less successful.

Does she even
think about me at all?

Probably not.

People are in their own heads.

They're in their heads,
I'm in mine.

All right.

Ah, I wanna be that age again.

Playing sports all day long,

and not have anything
sore or hurt,

and caring about nothing
but the next game.


There used to be a basket on
that tree over there, you know.

Fascinating fact, I'm sure.

Let me see you, uh, try
a three-pointer.

What the hell was that?

-That's close. Try again.

I'd love to shoot some baskets.

Play this kid in horse.
Ah, much better.

Then mom comes out
and freaks that some creep

has materialized
to play with her kid.

Man, the world's
a screwed up place.

Keep moving.
Well, keep trying, all right?

Who lives here now?

Who's the kid in my old room,

barely noticing the beautiful
river view out his window

and taking it all for granted?

Living in one
of the best houses
on one of the best streets

and not giving
any of it a second thought.

How come I don't know
the names of anything?

Roses I know.

Dandelions, I guess.

But so much is just...

I don't know.

Nice day, isn't it?

Oh, yeah. Sure is.

Don't you love summer?

All the flowers and the trees,

and everything thriving
in the endless days.

Yeah, great season,
for sure.

Are you one
of the Eldridge kids?

-Uh, Bruce and Tom?

Yes, Betty's boys.

No, they were
a few years older than me.

Uh... still are, I guess.

They're such handsome,
talented boys.

I believe Tom went to Harvard.

Bruce sold us pot once.
Good guy.

I'm, uh, Jeff Fisher.
I had three sisters,

-and we grew up
over on Crescent.
-Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I-I thought
you looked familiar,

but I guessed Eldridge.

Have you lived here
your whole life?

Ah, seems that way,
but after college I was in D.C.,

and then I was in the city
for a number of years,

and finally ended up back here.

Ah, you know, that is
the perfect way to do it.

You get your schooling, and then
you-- you see some of the world,

and then you come back
to this lovely village.

I made all the right moves.

You used to
have a blue MG, right?

Ha, that MG.

You know,
I think it was green.

Yeah. Oh, Michael
adored driving that little car.

I thought it was
a death trap if you ask me.

" It's a death trap.
It's a suicide rap."

Well, we all thought
it was pretty cool.

Well, I suppose
it was to you boys.

Oh, yeah, it definitely was.

Uh, anyway, uh, have a good day.

- You too, dear.
- All right.

No way that car was green.

Was it?
So long ago now.

This is a cute street.

What do these houses cost?

Gotta be a million.

That one can't be a million.

Can it?

Yeah. Yeah.

"Miss you, honey,"
exclamation point.

"Looking forward
to Grandma's party,"

exclamation point,
exclamation point.

"Miss you, honey,"
exclamation point.

"Can't wait to see you
at Grandma's party,"

exclamation point,
exclamation point.

Needs an answer today.

Should I go
or should I stay now?


- Hey, Jeff.
- Mario Andretti.

What are you doing
walking up in these parts?

I was hoping
to get hit by a car.

Sorry, not a lot of people
strolling around up here.

Can you blame them
with your driving?

You, uh, playing any tennis?

I could never beat this guy.

When the wrist
isn't bothering me, yeah.

That's what you get for that
topspin shit of yours.

It's one of those nagging things
that never goes away.

That's what you get
for that topspin shit of yours.

Oh, the topspin shit.
You still on about that?

Well, you know, if you switch
to a two-handed backhand,

then maybe you can handle it
a little better.

That's a good idea,
Chrissy Everett.

I think you
need to update your references.

I think that's
a perfectly fine reference.

Fucking people!

Shit, that's my neighbor.

It's hard to get
a good road rage incident

going in a small town, huh?

- I gotta go.
- All right.

See you around, all right?

It's gotta be tough
being the Black guy in town.

Must be constantly feeling it.

I don't think I've been the
minority anything in my life

beyond the boy sibling.

Oh, man.
The lady in the window,

undressing as I passed by
from baseball practice.

Those beautiful
grownup breasts.

Me standing here,

flooded with desire,
raging hard on.

Walking the same route
after every practice,

but never seeing that again.

Ah, the feeling that day.

Practically a flicker now
in comparison.

Maybe I oughta start
taking Viagra.

Ask Dr. Patel for a script
or try one of Jeremy's

black market ones
from Cambodia or whatever.

Hope it's not cut
with rat poison.

Can I help you?

I wish.

No, uh,
I was just passing by.

You're staring at my house.

Was I? Sorry.

I-- I grew up
a few blocks over

and I used to know the people
who lived here.

I didn't know them at all.

I've been here for 15 years.

Oh, you're new in town.

This is my house.


Okay, then. So long.

Goodbye now.

I'm not casing the joint,

I'm just passing through
the old neighborhood.

You need to stop
staring at my house.

I did, now I'm talking to you.
We're having a lovely chat.

- Move on, pal.
- Oh, Jesus.

Is he going to try
and fight me?
Should I run?

Do I need to call the police?

Well, I know if I saw
some middle-aged guy

standing on the street
in his old neighborhood,

I would call 911 so fast
it would make your head spin.

But that's just me,
I scare easy.

that's really funny stuff.

Now, why don't you get
the hell out of here, okay?

In due time, my friend,
in due time.

No, not in due time.

In due time,
I call the police.

How about that? You like that?

You saw the house
in the old neighborhood.

There it is,
still standing, okay?

There's no need
to make a day of it.

You got the sense
that was my afternoon plan?

Is that why you
came running out here

after seeing me linger
for all five seconds?

I'm gonna give you
five seconds to leave

or I'm calling the police.

And I'm giving you five seconds

to realize
what a dick you're being.

Let's synchronize our watches
and start the countdown.

This is so stupid.



See you tomorrow.

I should come back tomorrow,

People are so weird.

So angry over nothing,
which makes me so angry.

So, who am I to judge?

What a day, huh?
Loving it.

-Absolutely perfect.

-You too.

Okay, now that's
a little too friendly.

Why are newer houses so awful?

So dreary and alienating.

What were they thinking
with these things?

I like the beautiful
old houses.

Like this one. Character.

Oh, come on, Cassie.

Unsure about what aspect of it,
question mark.

Ascot oven?
Where are you getting ascot?

Unsure about what ascot. Fuck!

Hey, you.

Hey, if it isn't
little Paula Winters.

-Whatcha doin'?
-Just out for a little

-Is this your puppy?

She seems friendly.

It's not a pit bull, is it?

No, Betsy is
a Cavalier King Charles.

-Hey, come here.
-So, fear not.

She doesn't look like a Betsy.

Well, who does
look like a Betsy?

Betsy Ross.
She looks like a Betsy.

-I'm trying to remember.
-I mean, I--

I've actually never
seen a photo. Anyway. So.

Um, hey,
did you hear about Johnny Pope?

Died, congestive heart failure
or something?

Really? He's just
two years ahead of us.

We are getting old.

Only in mind, body and spirit.

Actually, I feel
better than ever these days.

Ah, you're one of them, huh?

Yeah, yoga, jogging...

eating clean.
Really works. Who knew?

Well, it's definitely
working for you.

You look more beautiful
every time I see you.

-She really kinda does.
-Oh, go on.

How weird would it be
to sleep with her again
after all these years?

Would it seem somehow
familiar or like someone new?

I guess that ring on your finger
means you're still married, huh?

Twenty-three years next month.



-How about you?

Are you still
seeing that young girl?

What was her name?

Katie. Um...

No, it didn't work out.

Oh, sorry to hear that.

She was really sweet
and so pretty.

Those golden tresses.

Yeah, she was.

What'd you do wrong?

-I, I...

at first I was like,
"Ugh, that jerk, Jeff.

Dating somebody
20 years younger.

Men are so shallow,
blah, blah, blah."

I'm sure you weren't
the only one who felt that way.

No, I wasn't.

But then I spoke to her
at that... street fair.

-Or whatever that was.

And she was so sweet
and super smart.

And you seemed really happy,

which is not
a state I associate you with.

Really? You saying I haven't
been always bursting with joy?

I ju--
I was rooting for you.

She was a keeper.
I'm sorry it didn't work.

How did I blow that?
No, she wanted children,

I wasn't sure, just let it go.

I miss that smile.

That silly sense of humor.
And the way she smelled.

Anyone new on the horizon?

-Are you seeing anyone new?

Why, you have someone in mind?

-Well, not someone like her.
-How about at your firm?

Any beautiful
but lonely associates?

Maybe some with low self-esteem
or something like that?

Stop. You always did great
with the ladies.

You slept with half the girls
in our class.

Half? I wish.

Ugh. Only a handful,
and everybody slept with

everybody eventually,
didn't they?

Small dating pool and all that.

Speak for yourself.

I only slept with two boys
in high school.

Who else
slept with her? Simmons?

No, Wilson probably.

Don't ask her.
Do not ask her who it was.

Who was the other guy?

I'll never tell.

I'm just kidding,
I don't care.

Gotta be Wilson, definitely.
I'm calling him tonight.

Well, um,
I gotta get this puppy home,

and check out
Jody's softball game.

-Playing Dobbs Ferry tonight.
-Ooh. Go Yellowjackets.

Yeah, green and gold forever.

- All right.
- Come on.

Well, I'll see you around,
Jeffrey Fisher.

I'll see you later,
Paula Winters.

Or Paula whatever your
legal last name is these days.

"These days."

Twenty-three years.

I love that girl.

Liked her in kindergarten,
liked her in high school,

like her now.

I'll like her
until one of us dies

and the other
attends the funeral.

Maybe I could
start my own magazine.

Tell Eric
I don't need that job,
I'm making one for myself.

Start over.

What goes on
in these nice houses?

Are they all happy
and successful people?

Nah, they can't all be.

There's gotta be some

dysfunction, alcoholism.

There was that woman
on our street

who killed herself
in the garage.

And me jealous
Margaret happened to see

the aftermath
coming home from school,

the lady slumped over
in the car

and the cops standing by
doing nothing

since there was nothing to do.

Now I don't want
to see something like that.

I pass a bad car wreck
and I avert my eyes.

Look at this cute little baby.

I used to have one of those.

- What?
- Hi.

Can I help you with that?

No, I got it, thanks.

Thank you, though.

You sure?

I could use the exercise.

I didn't get to the gym
this morning.

Or this week.

Please, you'd be
doing me a favor.

All right. Thanks.

It's an oxygen
concentrator thing.

I can't breathe
as well as I used to.

-Ah, sorry to hear that.
-Yeah, do you know whose fault
that is?


I smoked 30 odd years,
and now I have COPD.

-You know what that is?
-I do, yeah.

-You smoke?
-Not anymore.

I quit 20 years ago,

but it still got me in the end.

That could be me one day.

When I was your age,
I used to practically
run up those steps.

Now they look like
Mount Everest to me.

Well, uh, let me
get the box up there

and I'll, uh, come back
and help you up too.

Ah, no, no, no,
I'm-I'm not there yet,

but if you want,
get the box up there.

-Okay, no problem.

Is it heavy?

More, uh, cumbersome than heavy.

Those steps
are like Mount Everest.

I'm a pretty good Sherpa,

so, uh, why don't you let me
help you get up there?

-Oh, no, I can do it.
-You sure?

You're a good kid,
but I got it.

I love being called a kid.

-Wait a minute,

I guess you're
not really a kid, huh?

-So much for that.
-What are you, about 45?

Uh, a little older.

Yeah, still in your prime.
Enjoy it.

- That's what I tell people
in their 20s and 30s.

-Those were great years.

Look, I don't like to be watched

like I'm going to be
dropping dead any minute.

-I can make it.
-All right.

Take care.
I-I hope the oxygen thing helps.

Take care of yourself, kid.
-All right.

Don't turn around,
eyes forward, let him be.

God, that poor man.

Someday that'll be me.

I'll be wondering
how it all went so fast.

How I woke up
one day and I was 80.

Pity visits from Cassie,

her seeing me old
and feeble and sick.

Maybe both of us
wishing I'd die

but neither one saying it.

Well, I gotta decide something.

Workin' the quads,
workin' the calves,

"Kill the fatted calf tonight,
so stick around."

- Lungs working, no COPD,
at least not yet.

Fatted calf,
golden goose, golden tresses...

The old pond.

Hockey games on the far side.

Little stove
in the warming shack,

hats and gloves
on top of it to dry.

Coming here with Cassie
all those years later.

Her little mittens,
those tiny skates,
her rosy cheeks.

I used to skate on
this pond when I was a kid.

Oh, yeah,
I heard there was skating here.

It seems so small, though.

-Yeah, but so were we.

That shack over there
was a, uh, changing area,

and had this
nice potbelly stove.

Is that the right word?

-Sounds cozy. Mm-hmm.
-Yeah, it really was.

-You have kids?
-Yeah, seven-year-old boy
and a five-year-old girl.

You should take them
skating here sometime.

Even with global warming,
this thing still freezes.

It's actually climate change,
not global warming, so...

Just when
I get used to one term,
they change it on me.

Right, yeah, uh...
Like my father not being able

to switch from
Oriental to Asian.

My daughter takes lessons
at Westchester Academy,

-but this might be fun too.
-There's no "might" about it.

I mean, there's nothing
like skating on a pond
in the great outdoors.

-Man, I sound old.
-Well, I'm from Florida,
so I've never had the pleasure.

-You're from Florida, huh?

Ever seen an alligator?

I have.

God, I'm a moron.


Well, uh, you should
come skate sometime.

You know,
maybe next winter we all will.

-All right.
All right, take care.
-Thanks for the tip.


Florida seems like
a weird place to grow up.

Guess I shouldn't assume
people from there are shallow

or dumb,
and she seemed pretty bright.

Which is probably
why she moved north.

-Hey, David.

I hope you're not planning
on swimming in there.

-Nah, I wasn't planning on it.
-Oh, good.

Not as inviting as it looks.

I'm not sure
how inviting it looks,

but I never
swam in there anyway.

-Why, did you?
-Yeah, once, in 1979.

-I will not be doing that again.
-Ah, why, a lot of algae
and stuff?

Yeah. And snapping turtles.
Watch out.

Yeah, I don't want anything
to do with them.

I remember you skating here.

I was just remembering
those days myself.

What's with the, uh,
tarp on the shack?
Are they ever going

actually get around
and do something with that?

Don't hold your breath,

the way things
move in this village.

-I hear ya.
-I-- I wouldn't be surprised

if they do it
on the 12th of never!

Hey, good one.

That's too bad. It, uh,
came in handy on those, uh,
cold winter mornings.

- Yeah.
- Mm.

I-- I-- I don't like skating.
Too cold.

Yeah, one of
the drawbacks of it.

I guess that's why you
stick to the track, huh?

If there's one
thing you can say about running,

it is not cold.

Uh, how many laps
you run this season?


Not bad. What's the most
you ever run in one season?

9,128, in 1987.

-I-I almost beat it in 1999,

but, uh, Hurricane Floyd
damaged the track,

and it-it was closed
for eight and a half long days.

Your season runs, uh,
during daylight savings, right?

Spring forward, fall back?

-The outdoor season, yes.

Daylight savings time was
extended by four weeks in 2006,

as you certainly recall.

And so my annual totals
have increased since then,

uh, a bit artificially,
some might say.

Well, I won't say anything.

Uh, what's the most laps
you've ever done in one run?

One hundred thirty-seven.

Wow, that sounds
like a marathon.

Yeah, and then some.

I suppose it is actually,
when you do the math, right?


Let's just say
that was a good day.

What's the coldest
you ever run in?

How many times
have I had these conversations?

-And how come
I never get tired of them?
-That was not fun.

-What's your ideal temperature?
-Fifty-eight degrees.

Now, most indoor tracks
are 66 degrees,

-as I'm sure you know.

But that can feel very warm
after 25 laps or so.

-I would think.

Do you ever run on the aqueduct?
You can go all the way to Croton

and then you see some nice views
along the way.

-You ever try that?


Maybe you should try it
for a change of pace.

Might be fun and, you know,

get some nice scenery
along the way.

Do you still have your bike?

-My bike?
-Your English racer.

-It was red.
-Oh, yeah. No, no.

-I-I got rid of it long ago.
-It was a Raleigh.

How do I get out of this?
Yeah, it was.

Stop asking questions
for a start.

Well, I'm, uh,
I'm going continue on my way.

-Good seeing you.

There might be
a thunderstorm later tonight.

-Did you hear?
-I did not. No.

AccuWeather has issued
a warning.

-So be prepared.

I'll locate my umbrella.

Has he ever had sex?

Does he jerk off? To what?

-I know what you're thinking.
-You do?

You're thinking a storm
can bring a lot of rain

and cause flooding,
but most storms don't cause

in our area without
significant precipitation

over an extended period of time.

-Well, I guess we're
lucky in that regard, huh?

Do you think
the, uh, algae and turtles

or whatever's in there
notice when it's raining?


We may have to call up
Mr. Wilkens to get that answer.

Yeah. Yeah, he would know.

-He was an alcoholic.
-Mr. Wilkens was?

Yeah, he kept liquor in his desk

and drank plenty of it
between classes.

-I didn't know that.

-He had a problem.

If Principal Gordon
heard about this,

he'd be rolling
over in his grave.

Is he dead?

I haven't heard it either way.

Uh, it was good to see you.
I gotta go, okay?

-Okay. Bye.


What kind
of inner life does he have?

What's going on in there?

Should I be
feeling sorry for him?

Or is he happier
than all of us?

Left out or right on?



-Are you sure?
-Yes, I'm sure.

That's why I called it out.

- Looked in to me.
- Excuse me?

Why'd I say that?
I'm not even sure.

Sorry, I'm just
calling 'em as I see 'em.

We don't need your help, thanks.

I tried.

Thank you.
Just a friendly game.

Sorry for the intrusion.

- Maybe we should replay the point.
-But the ball was out.

Yeah, I know.
I'm just saying
I have the better angle--

The ball bounced
right by my feet.

I'm perpendicular
and you're parallel.

- It's harder to see.
- My work is done here.

I was two feet away
from it, Jenna, not on

the other side of the net
or up on the hill.

So many lovely houses.

So many well-off people.

Maybe some family money easing
the way for a few of them.

White people passing it along.

Ol' Richard.



What the hell you up to now?

- Don't ask.
- I'm asking.

Putting in a koi pond.

You mean goldfish?

-They're koi, Jeff.

Weren't they doing something
the last time I was around?

Uh, still are.
God, it's endless.
Delay after delay.

- What is it, an indoor pool
and a squash court?

Uh, adding a back balcony
off the master

and expanding the kitchen...

How much does all that cost?

...a new powder room as well,
and a pantry.

- Ooh, tell me more
about that pantry.

Mostly Vanessa's idea.

Though the balcony was all me.

Balconies and porches
are great.


Your house,
uh, your parents' house

had that great double-decker
one overlooking the river.

Yup. Too bad
we didn't spend any time on it.

It's true, come to think of it.

We were always
down in that basement.

So, how are you?
How are things at the magazine?

Okay. Same.
Ask me again tonight.

I think our, uh,
subscription lapsed.
I need to renew.

You and thousands
of others, that's the problem.

Guess the software business
is still going well, huh?

Well, I got
into the field early.
I got lucky.

Plus, you're smart.

-Eh, more luck.
-Eh, you were smart.

Always worked a little harder
than the rest of us,

always got your homework
in right on time.

Anyway, I-I did get lucky.

I picked the right field
at the right time.

You always made
good choices, Richard.

Is he thinking
about my choices?

Is he feeling sorry
for me or judging me?

-Which would be worse?
-Do you want to come in
for a drink or something?

And be surrounded
by more nice things?

No, it, uh,
looks like you're busy,

and I'd rather wait
to see that pantry

when it's done
and looking all fabulous anyway.

Then you can come
to the ribbon-cutting.

I'll be counting the days.

Anyway, I'll let you...
let you get back to work here.

I'm gonna move on and, you know.

Sounds good.

-See you soon.
-Take care.

Ol' Richard. He deserves
everything he's got.

But maybe we all do.

We all deserve what we have.

Look at this lovely lady.
Twenty-eight, 30?

Very pretty.

Ooh, some interest?

Say something
that gets her to stop.

-No, it's what's her name!

Hey, how are ya?

No wonder she's
looking at me all friendly.

I coached her
in peewee soccer with Cassie.

She's like 19.

Was I checking her out?
Did she see that?

Oh, that was not good.
I just gotta pray

she doesn't say anything
to anybody.

But it can't be the first time
some dad has checked her out,

accidentally or on purpose.

Why can't I tell ages anymore?

What would I have done
if she came on to me?

"Hey, Mr. Fisher,
I'm all alone at the house.

Why don't you drop by?"

Imagine that Sophie's Choice.

I'd have to say no,
and that would hurt.

No chance of that, anyway.

Those Penthouse Forum letters
were all made up.

Though you do
hear about these teachers

having sex
with their students.

Where were those teachers
when I was in school?

I'd have killed
to sleep with Miss Lockhart.

Miss Laura Lockhart.

Whatever happened to her?

My God, she's got
to be an old woman now.

Ah, look at the river
peeking out like that.

Man, that's beautiful.

Older than me.
Older than Miss Lockhart.

Older than all of us.

Always there, never changing.

Oh, no, does she think I looped
around to see her again?

No, my route makes sense.
She must have doubled back.

Good, got a second bite
of the apple here.

Level gaze,
eyes high, don't look down.

-Hi, again.
-Hi, Mr. Fisher.

-It's Emily, right?

I didn't recognize you before.

- Guess my old eyes aren't
as good as they used to be.

-Uh, how are your folks?
-Uh, they're fine, thanks.

Eyes high, but not too direct.
You still playing soccer?

- Vague, general eye contact.
- Oh, no.

Oh. What, are you
in college now?

Yeah, I'm a sophomore
at Fordham.

Oh, nice. Good school.
Level gaze, eyes high.

What are you studying?
Good, boring

-parent-type question.
-Anthropology and sociology.

-Excellent subjects.

Uh, will you say hi
to your parents for me?

-Okay, great, great. All right.

Well, good to see you.
All right?

Well, uh,
say hi to Cassie for me.

Will do.

Okay, good,
that's got to help.
Totally boring parent stuff.

Now, just don't turn back
to get one last look
and risk her catching me.

Just keep going
and hope she remembers
this conversation,

and not me leering
at her five minutes ago.

She could've been 32
for all I know.

These girls should
wear big flashing signs,

"Warning, barely legal
coming your way!"

Give a guy a head's up.

Why didn't I sleep
with every 19 year old girl

I could when I was young?

Took it all for granted.


Would a guy like Richard
be thinking about her
like this?

Maybe he would even if
he didn't like to admit it.

Maybe it's all biology,
beyond conscious control.

Or perhaps
a weakness in character too.

Some shallow side of me,
all of it mixed together.


-Beautiful day, huh?
-Yes, very nice.

Good to get out
and get some fresh air.

-Oh, yes.

Well, uh... enjoy.


Now that's reverse racism.

Perverse racism?
If he were white,

I'd probably just give
a friendly nod and keep going.

But I want him
to feel welcome here.

Maybe he's
on to me too, thinking,
"That idiot is so polite

because I'm a foreigner,
as if I need his empathy.

Take your liberal guilt
elsewhere, buddy."

Though I can't imagine
he's got the word "buddy"
ready to chirp off the tongue.

-Jeff! Hey, what's up man?
-Hey, Ron.

-What, you taking a stroll?
-Yeah, try and walk regularly.

Yeah, I gotta
start exercising myself.

Can't disagree with that.

You look like you weigh the same
as you did in high school.

What's your secret?

Ah, partly exercise,
but, you know, diet mostly.

Gotta watch the carbs.

Yeah, that's absolutely
my problem.

You still look strong.

Probably bench
twice as much as me.

Like that's
something to brag about.
You were never strong.

I was faster
and quicker than you.

-He was pretty quick.

You football guys
were good at knocking heads,

-that's about it.
-Soccer sucked.

We had a better record
than you did, Ron.

What'd you guys win,
like, two games senior year?

That's 'cause Coach Connors
never gave me the ball, Jeff.

Billy Kipnis was his boy.
Fucking bullshit.

Billy was
pretty good though, Ron.

You're saying
he's better than me?

-I'm not saying--
-No fucking way, Jeff.

Look, I'm... I'm not saying
he's better than you,

-just that he was good too.
-Oh, okay.

Senior year, Billy averaged
3.9 yards per carry...

"And so we beat on...
borne back ceaselessly
into the past."

...in a clutch situation,
who do you give the ball to?

-I give it to you.
-No fucking shit.

Okay, but Coach Connors
never gave me the ball.

He always went with Billy.

Look, all right.
Game against Dobbs, right?

There's two minutes
left to go in the game.

We are first and goal
on the three-yard line.

And what does Connors do?

He has Marcus
hand off to Billy

four times in a row.

-Game over. Another loss.
-You should've played soccer,

We could have made
a good fullback out of you.

Oh, fuck soccer.
Fuck soccer, Jeff.

Fuck it, you guys were
a bunch of yogurts and nerds.

What are you talking about?
We were like all-round athletes

with fine motor skills.

Oh, fine motor skills, my ass.

You see this? See this?

Take a look at that,
right there.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- You see that?

What, you don't like him?

-Oh, this town's changing.
-Here we go.

Townies complaining
about the new people.

Town's always changing.
Every town is.

No, it's different now.

You got... Gandhi up there,

and some hipster couple
down here on the right.

That guy with his faggoty
little beard actually made

a comment to my wife
about our recycling bins

having the wrong crap
in them or whatever.

He's damn lucky
he didn't try that shit with me.

Yeah, I can't
imagine that ending well.

No fucking shit. I am so sick
of these entitled pricks

coming in here and trying
to turn the town into Brooklyn.

I mean, if I hear one more word
about it from anybody,

I swear, they'd be sorry
they ever moved here from...

or wherever the fuck.

Where does his anger
come from?

I mean, I don't love
hipsters either, but come on.

Well, my parents
came here from the city.

Yeah, you guys were all right.

You didn't try
to change the town

two months after you got here.

My mother sure did.

Your mother probably hated her.

I just gotta get
the fuck outta here.

Move upstate or somewhere.

This isn't the town
we grew up in, man.

It's nothing but dickwads

and whatever the fucks
moving in.

I'd hate him
if I didn't grow up with him.

Don't even want to think about
his Facebook posts.

It's 'cause we're old, Ron.
Things change.

Change. For the worse.

Yeah, some things...

Most things, I guess.


I gotta go to Home Depot
and pick up some shit.

-I'll see you around.
-Yeah, good seeing you, man.

- Who lived on
this street when I was a kid?

I can't think of anyone.

Oh, wait, I think that
retarded kid lived over here.

The one from the pool.

Really messed up.

Face, arms, legs, voice,
everything about him.

Freaked me out
seeing him there.

How awful to be like that

and have kids afraid of you
on top of it.

- Hey, Jeff.
- Monica. How you doing?


You live on this street?

Yup, bought my parents'
old place.

-My eldest is in my old room,

which is... is cool
and totally weird.

-I can imagine.

I didn't know
you grew up on this street.

Where did you think I grew up?

Well, I don't know, uh...
some other street, I guess.

Didn't you buy a place
on, uh, Bellwood or someplace?

Was that me?
Uh, yeah, I did, yeah.

Hey, but since you grew up here,

maybe you remember
that retarded kid,

a few years older than us?

What do you mean us?
You're way older than me.

Not anymore. At our age,
three or four years
is meaningless.

It's even possible
you're older than me now.

she is older than me now,

- in terms of market value.
- Yeah, right.

Not that my stock
is going anywhere but down.

But do you remember, uh,
the retarded kid?

-You gotta remember him.
-Yeah, Ernest Milner. Yes.

Scary stuff.

You know my-my son
is autistic, right?


Is he? Seems like
a perfectly nice kid to me.

-Why'd I say that?
-Yes, he is very nice,

and very talented
in so many areas.

I believe it.
He seems like a fine--
fine young man.

I don't know which one he is.
Seems half the kids today have
something wrong with them.

Thank you.

I'm sorry
if I came off as insensitive.

-I, you know, I wasn't--
-Don't worry about it, Jeff.

I'm so lucky
Cassie was healthy and normal.

No, really, I-I wasn't thinking,
and it was stupid. I'm sorry.

Don't worry about it.
I've heard worse.

I-- I gotta go.
Take care.

Uh, you-you too.

Ugh. It's going
take years for her

to forget this
if she ever does.

It's not like I see her enough
to make it go away sooner.

I really am turning
into my father with this stuff.

If Cassie were here,
she'd be mortified.

Monica's got balls.

She hears something offensive
and deals with it.

I should have
said something to Ron,

but I just, I can't imagine.

I don't see him
all that much either

and I'm gonna get into it with
him on the street like that?

What is that?
A sparrow? A thrush?

Is that the kind
of thing the Indians ate

when they roamed these parts?

God, what a boring life
that must have been,

having to hunt
and forage all day.

Nothing to read,
no witty banter.

Just like, what?

Dreary, task-filled days

and some drumming
around the campfire?

No pizza, no coffee, no donuts,

just sparrow stew and berries.

That's a nice enough house.

But less nice being
next one that's even nicer.

Which is just
the kind of sick thought

the Indians
probably didn't have.

What would they think
if they saw all this here now?

Wonder? Disgust?

A tear running down their cheek

as they watch someone
power up a leaf blower?

Or would they actually be like,

"Oh, cool,
I'd love one of those."

And what would they think if
they could gaze into the future

and see some dumb white guy
trampling their land

and misunderstanding
their culture?

Wait, that's a cardinal.
That one I know.

It's the red, uh, the fur...

Hey, whatcha doin'
over there, Fisher?

Kenny, hey.

Just saw a cardinal.

-I see 'em all the time.

Mom and bros doing all right?

-Why did I ask that?
-They're doing okay.

I can't imagine that's true.

Heard the older twins had
a fist fight at the waterfront,

-and Mark
won't leave the attic.
-What about your sisters?

Aren't they up
in, uh, Boston or somewhere?

Uh, Gretchen is, yeah.
Uh, she's a doctor up there,

and Elizabeth's
a lawyer in D.C.,

and Margaret's
on the Upper East Side.

Great, I sound like my mother,
bragging about her kids.

You Fishers were smart.

Well, the girls were, yeah.

No, you too.

Aren't you
the editor of some magazine?

The editor? No.

There's one main one
and then a few of us under him.

Fewer and fewer.

Workin' for the man, huh?

Yup, except this man is
like 10 years younger than me.

I guess it's all
in who you know, huh?

- He's pretty talented.
- Yeah.

It's all about connections.

What's it like in there?

Mess and madness.

All those boys, men now.

And old Mother Hubbard,
she's gotta be like 100.

I wonder if it's true the dad
ran off with the babysitter

or if that was just
some suburban legend.

Hey, you still,
uh, you still playing hockey?

got to be kidding, right?

No, no, I'm serious.

Mr. Serious.

No, you used to
play a lot of hockey.

Kingsley boys
dominated the pond.

That was 100 years ago.

I'm 58 years old, Jeff.

My two knees are shot.
I need a new hip.

You still play soccer?

No, not in a long time.

-He's got me there.

Wait, no he doesn't.
Actually, you know,

Michael McAdams plays on
an over-40 team

at Chelsea Piers, so it's not
like it's impossible.

-Chelsea Pier?
-Piers, yeah.

In the, uh, in the city.

Yeah, I think he also plays,
uh, at Murray's.

Oh, in Yonkers,
The City of Gracious Living.

That's what they call it.

I know.

Uh, any case, the point is

Michael plays hockey,
and I play tennis.

-Tennis. You Fishers, huh?
-What's that mean?

Forget it. Leave it.

Uh, well,
I'm gonna finish my walk.

Finish your walk?

Yeah, I try
and take walks when I can.

I walk all the time.

Yeah, it's good exercise
if you go long enough.

Good exercise.

You crack me up.

What, you-you disagree?

Come on,
don't look so serious.

I'm just
bustin' your chops, man.

Listen, enjoy your "walk."

I will try.

Kenny Kingsley, one of
the town's walking wounded.

There's a lot of them.

Of us.

Four houses down
from the Kingsleys

and it's like opposite world.

This home just
radiates happiness.

Probably owned by an
attractive couple in their 30s

with three healthy children.

A little girl who
still adores her father,

running up with excitement
when he gets home.

A future that looks bright.

Totally in their prime.

Enjoy every minute, folks.

What is that woman's name?

Does she know my name?

She's one of those people
I've seen my whole life

but actually have
no clue who she is.

Familiar stranger.

Ugh. Okay.

Eric, hey. How you doing?

Yeah, I sound chipper.

Uh, good, good.

I got your message before.

Sorry, I meant to respond.

Yes, I was very busy.

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Yeah, no, I know,
I get it, I get it, I get it.

Yeah, don't get it.


No, I do understand,
you know, it's...

I understand it's a demotion,
that's what I understand.

Yeah, no, no, I get it.
You know, it's a...

Yeah, I get it,
I get it, I get it.

No. Uh, yeah.

Where does this thing go?

Sorry, what? I'm sorry,
say that again. What?

Yeah. Oh, no. Of course, yeah.

No. No, no, I get it, yeah.

Stop saying I get it.

Uh, oh, okay, yeah, okay, bye.


Ah, man.
What am I gonna do here?

Oh, come on, baby.

- "You don't" quote, "have
to" quote, "come home," period,

"but you actually kind of do,"
smiley face.

"Grandma would be
so thrilled to see you."

Come on, iFuck!


Sorry, just, uh, just dealing
with some...
some stuff here.

- Ah, what the hell.
- What is your name anyway?

Mistake, maybe she's a mute.

No, there's no mutes here.
This isn't 1930s Alabama.

I'm, uh, I'm Jeff Fisher.

I think we went
to school together,

maybe couple years apart?




The name sounds familiar.
Good local name.

Well, nice to finally say hi

uh, 40 years or so, huh?

Uh, okay.

I should've just let her be.

It's not like I sat
next to her on the train

and had to make small talk.

She's half mute,
that's probably the reason

- I don't know who she is.
- Ow!

There's a lot of faces
like that in town.

Background players,
scenery in each other's lives.

All right, left, right?

Just choose one.
God, I can't even
make decisions

when it doesn't even matter.

"Oh, Old Man River."

Why did I come this way?

Oh, great.

Of course he's home
and out in the yard.

Everyone's out today.

Hey, Evan.


Doing some yard work, huh?

Keen observation.


-You just out walkin'?

Place is looking good.
The best I could do.

No balconies or koi ponds here.
Still doing the, uh, tech stuff?

Why did I ask it like that?
"Still doing the tech stuff?"

-It's his freaking career,
a successful career.

Still doing the tech stuff.

Uh, well, as long as I'm here,

maybe I should
catch up with Barb.



I'm not really visiting.

I just need to talk to her
for a minute.

-Hey, Barb.
-What's up?

And a friendly hello
to you too.

-I've been meaning to call
you about Cassie and the party.

My mother's
80th birthday party?

Oh, yes. Right.

Uh, I want her
to come home that weekend,

and I assumed you wanted
do something with her too,

-but now she's waffling.

she's a college student now.
Probably has things to do.

She's living in
a tiny dorm room in Michigan.

What things does she have to do?

-Who knows?
-Am I the only one

who cares that she hasn't
been home in months?

Why is she even
doing a summer term?

She should be lazing
around here like most kids.

I respect that choice.

Well, fine,
but, uh, she should really be

at her grandmother's
80th birthday party.

I don't know if
there's any shoulds here, Jeff.

What are you talking about?
This is a major family event.

-She should be there.
-And I just said that there are
no shoulds.

Do not want her
to come for some reason?

-What? That's ridiculous.
-She said you hadn't
reached out.

Hadn't reached out?
I was just texting with her
last week.

And she said you barely
mentioned the party.

Asked her if she was
coming home that weekend,

and didn't seem
to care either way.

Well, I don't know
why she would say that.

I'd love to see her
if she comes home.

And did you tell her that?

Did you say,
"I hope you come home,

and I miss you,"
and all that,

and otherwise act
like a normal mother?

Jeff, relax.

Don't you have
chores to do, Evan?

Why did you come here, Jeff?

I didn't come here.

I was just walking
through the neighborhood,

like I have 1,000 times before,

passing a house
I used to live in.

I may have let you
have the house, Barb,

but it's still my town.

Yes, of course,
I forgot that part.

This is Jeff's town.
The rest of us are just

You guys, you just-- cool it.

There's no need to fight.

It's okay, Evan.
I'm fine.

You don't think
it hurts Cassie's feelings

that her mother
doesn't seem to care

if she comes home
for the weekend?

That she'd just as soon
go away or something?

Is that what it is?

You two have plans, and having
somebody inconvenient around,

like, say, your daughter,
would muck things up?

My plans are
none of your business.

I wish they weren't, Barbara,
but we have a daughter, okay?

And this is an important
family event.

Look, if she wants to
come home for it, she will.

She can even stay
with me if she wants.

She can even stay with you.
That's kind of you.

Don't be unpleasant.
I have said she can stay here,

which she might
prefer to do anyway.

She likes my place just fine,
Barb, okay?

Her accommodations
are not the important thing.

The important thing is
that she's here for this party.

-Important to you, perhaps.

-Yes, it is important to me!
-But it's her life.

Okay, it's important to me
that my daughter come home

for her grandmother's
80th birthday party,

particularly when I haven't
seen her since Christmas.

But it's her life. She will
do what is important to her.

You should try and let go of it.

I thought there
was no shoulds here?

I know it's hard, Jeff,

watching her head off to college
and out into the world.

Yeah, it's, uh, it's not easy.

Seems like she was just a baby.

I know, it went by so fast.


You're a good dad.
She knows how much you love her
and always will.

I miss her.

I know how it is, Jeff.

Haley's 12 now.
I don't see her nearly enough.

I'm sure you do miss her,

If you like,
I can-- I can text Cassie

and ask her about the party.

-Thought you already did?
-I meant again.

What about your plans?

Maybe you two
have booked something

and it's non-refundable?

Don't do me any favors,
Barbara, okay?

Enjoy your vacay.

What a lovely couple they make.

Two people who care
about themselves

more than their children.

I should've
fought for the house.

I should've fought
for the house, and for custody,

and made her move into town.

How did I end up
marrying someone like that?

What is wrong with me
that I chose that person?

Maybe she's asking herself
the same thing.

When was that
great rain that sent

the water gushing through here,

and me and Mark Jenkins
playing around in it?

So much fun.

Such a simple little thing.

Splashing around in the stream,
not a care in the world.

Maybe that's what Indian kids
did for fun around here.

How come
I'm never on this street?

I must be grooved
to walk in certain patterns

down certain streets
for some reason.

But why?

Oh, wow.

Coach Burns!

How you doing?


I'm still working on my swing.

Good to hear.

Practice doesn't make perfect,
but it does make better, huh?

That it does.

Nice car.

Does he not remember me?

It's Jeff Fisher. First base.

He still doesn't remember me?

I came over from the tennis team
when I was a sophomore?

Threw left, batted right?

Hit third for you senior year.

Right, Fisher, first baseman.

Yeah, that's me.

Excellent athlete.
Good instincts.

-Good speed, too, if I recall.

Well, thanks, Coach,
I was pretty fast.

-A little lazy, though.

-As I recall.
-I-- What are you talking about?

I ran out every pop fly and
ground ball as fast as I could.

You would have
screamed at me if I didn't.

But I don't
mean in that sense.

Lazy about practice,
honing the fundamentals.

He's right, I hated practice.
Just wanted to play the games.

You could've
been a great player.

The potential was there.

Well, I'm sorry about that.

You don't need
to apologize to me, Fisher.

I miss all that,
you know, organized sports,

wearing a uniform,
the competition.

I play in a pickup softball
game every now and then.

I play tennis when I can, but...
it's not the same.

- You were on one of
the hippie teams, weren't you?

You had the long hair.
You ran with that crowd.
I remember.

Come on,
a lot of us had long hair.

-And we were just kids.
-I know you were kids.

Some of you had talent
and developed it,

and some of you had talent
and squandered it.

In my defense, I was really more
of a soccer player.

That was my game.
I was lazy there too.

Doesn't matter
what sport you're best at.

If it's spring
and you're playing baseball,

that's where your heart
and soul needs to be

100% focus.

Well, I'm sorry.
Uh, I did love the games

and-and you were
a really good coach.

I miss those days.

Of course you do.

Took it for granted, I guess.

A lot of you did,
but some kids got it.

Those are the ones
I really remember.

I guess I wasn't one of 'em.

You were an okay kid
from what I recall.

I've had worse.

Just could have used
a little more effort.

You seem in decent shape.
I do like to see that.

Uh, yeah, well,
it's really more out
of vanity than anything else.

Nothing wrong
with a little vanity.

You think I do 100 push-ups
a day just for my health?

I remember you
doing those push-ups.

You still going, huh?

-Why's that?

Well, I don't know,
it's-it's just impressive.

It's push-ups, Fisher.
You get down there and do them.

Good seeing you.

I guess we're done.

You too.

One hundred push-ups.

How many could I do?

Let's give it a whirl.













that is a baker's dozen,
and that is all I can do.

Okay, I cannot do 100 push-ups.

All right, get outta here. Go.

Nobody saw nothin'.

All right. This kid's
never going to text back.

Come on, stop looking at
the phone when I'm walking.

I'm going to fall down
an open manhole

and be trapped down there
like some well baby.

Baby Jessica.
Fire department

will take hours to get me out,
and I'll be on the news,

and that'll become my identity
in town until the day I die.

"He's the middle-aged guy
who fell down a well."


Who flies a flag like that?

Where do you even get one?


Ugh. Patriotism
is the refuge of scoundrels.

Elm, oak, dogwood.

No, not dogwood.
Those are the pink ones.

Gotta be elm or oak.
Think those are common.

Bet that guy knows what it is.

"That there's an elm tree,
and you can use the bark

to line your canoe."

Yeah, I'm a snob,
but screw him.

If that's the look he gives
a white guy walking past,

I can only imagine.

But maybe the look
was based on my energy,

the instant dislike
I felt for him.

We both knew we hated
each other instinctively.

Based on what?

Cherry blossoms
are the pink ones,

the ones in Washington.

So what is a dogwood?

Guess I could ask
my friend there or Google it.

No, don't Google.
Don't Google everything.

Who lived over here as a kid?

Seemed like
a million miles away,
whole other world.

What was it? One mile away?

A mile and an advanced degree

Ooh, hipster in the wild.

Workin' hard
or hardly workin'?

Where do I get this stuff?

You know
I thought this kind of thing

would be part
of the charm of the suburbs,

but now I'm feeling differently.

What, you new here?

Uh, yeah,
coming up on two years.

You know, once the baby came,
decided to make the move up.

Starter home type.

Probably already
looking to trade up.

-How you liking the town?
-Oh, we love it.

How about you?
You, uh, you been here a while?

Yeah, a native, actually.

You're chattin' with me?

-What do you mean?
-Eh, you know, just...

some around here,
they see the man bun,

the flannel shirts,
they just, uh,

they think we're ruining
the town 'cause we're hipsters

and bringing our
Brooklyn values with us.

Aren't you?

You know,
I don't really identify

with a look or lifestyle.

Typical hipster thing to say.

Yeah, you got me.

Screw those people
who give you attitude.

Man, they're
reactionary fuckwads.

Between the Jews,
and the old guard liberals
on the hill,

and you hipster types,
they are outnumbered
and they know it.

Don't worry about it.

So where do you fit
into this whole picture?

You old-guard-liberal-hill type
or something else?

Uh, yeah, you know,
I guess I started on the hill.

Still old guard
liberal basically.

Since this is America and asking
strangers invasive questions

is perfectly acceptable
small talk,

uh, may I ask what you do?

Yeah, web
and content development.

Damn hipsters
and your internet crap.

It's either that
or some nonsense like,

-"I'm a blacksmith."
-How about you?

Old media.
Um... editor at a magazine.

Oh, cool.
Contracting industry, though.

Contracting industry is right.

The world is yours now, fella,
not mine.

Well, uh, I'll leave you
to your suburban idyll. Uh...

Don't get your foot
caught in that, all right?

I'm trying my best, brother.

Welcome to the village,
all right?

I appreciate
the good vibes, man.

Enjoy your day, all right?

"I'm picking up
good vibrations..."

vibration, excitation...

A lot of dead people,
living the good life.

Not a worry in the world.

What is her story?

Husband, child,
parent, lesbian lover?

Does she think
I'm a fellow mourner

or do I read as looky-loo?

Graveyard looky-loo.

Time to go.

Large barge.
Tell 'em Large Barge sent ya.

Sally Caruthers
lived in one of these.

She always looked
so uncomfortable, skittish.

Was there
something wrong with her?

Or did she just
feel out of place?

Most everyone else living
in houses and her down here.

Wish I'd been nicer to her.

I wasn't not nice.

I wasn't anything at all.

She barely registered.

People still smoke down here.

You live in this building?

Why you askin'?

I knew a girl that lived here
when I was a kid.

You know they call
these the Irish flats?

The what?

Irish flats.

I guess it was full of, uh,
Irish immigrants back then.

Mostly before my time.

Well, uh, now we got, uh,
Mexicans or whatever they are.

-Dominican maybe?
-Ah, fuck if I know.

Don't know 'em.

Don't speak Spanish.

Yeah, me neither.

I stupidly took French
in school.

Great if I ever get to Montreal.

That cigarette looks good.

What's a pack cost now?

It's like 12 at the Arab deli,
15 in the city.

That's a lot.

-That Arab place used to be

an Italian deli
that had the most amazing food.

Can you believe that?

Sounds nice.

Is she dull
or am I just boring her?

Does she think
I'm hitting on her? Am I?

Or am I doing that half-ass
thing where I'm sort of hitting
on her,

and the only way
it goes further is if
she invites me upstairs?

Great wedges.

Does she know
the word wedge for sandwich

or does she think
I'm using my French?

Tres fantastique.


-Have a good one.
-You too.

Well, I sure charmed her.

-Hey, how you doing?

Was that
a condescending greeting,

like the Indian guy
all over again?

I hope it reads as
pleasant hello to anyone I see

and not
"I'm a bleeding heart
who feels sorry for you

and your station in life."

His station in life.

Like I'm Charles Dickens.

What is my station in life?

- What's up, bro?
- What's up, man?

How ya doin'?

And what
is their station in life?

Are they loving it all,
drinkin' beers

and chasin' chicks,
and feelin' young and strong

at the height of their potency?

Not suffering under the weight
of failed dreams

and unfulfilled expectations?

Or are they bitter
and resentful

and marking the days
until they die?

Or do they never think
about any of this stuff?

"Great," exclamation point.

"Yes, I will get you a ticket,"

"Can't wait to see you," period.

"Love you," exclamation point,
exclamation point.

The mighty Hudson,
always movin'.

Gotta keep movin'.

Hey, Eric, it's Jeff.

Yeah. Yeah, no problem.

Yeah, I can hold on a minute.

What choice do I really have?

You could put me
on hold for an hour.

Hey, uh, yes.

Uh, yes, I have. Um...

Yup. Uh, so, so I'm in.

Right, yep, 25% less
to stay on the masthead.

Right. Right.

Everything else stays the same,
but just, um... less.

Yeah. Yeah.

No, I do get it, yeah.

It-It's a contracting industry.


Um. Yeah.

No, no, I get it, I get it.

All right, uh, I will, uh,
I will see you soon.

Great. All right, thanks.

"Half a loaf is better
than none."

"Bird in the hand."

"Today is the first day
of the rest of your life."

"Today is the first day
of the rest of your life..."

like it or not.