Orchestra Rehearsal (1978) - full transcript
In a Medieval Roman chapel, now an oratorio, an elderly factotum sets up for rehearsal. The musicians arrive, joking and teasing. A union shop steward explains that a TV crew is there, talking to them is optional, and there will be no extra compensation. Musicians talk about their instruments. The German conductor arrives and puts them through their paces. He yells, he insults. The shop steward calls a 20 minute break. The conductor retreats to his dressing room and talks about how the world of music has changed, moving away from respect for the conductor. He returns to the rehearsal to find the orchestra in full revolt. What can bring them back to the music?
ORCHESTRA REHEARSAL
Ooooh! Go on...
...try it out
The acoustics
are marvelous
It was an ancient oratory
Along there, are the tombs
of3 popes
...and 7 bishops
It's a graveyard in here
In 1871...
...this oratory became
a true auditorium
...for both vocal
and instrumental concerts
All the courts of Europe
envied us for it
For its acoustics
Ooooh, hear it?
The sound is limpid,
without echo
Ideal for listening
to music
Without any reverberation
That podium was...
...for the world's
great conductors...
...a mark of achievement
What musicians!
And the people!
There were ministers,
ambassadors, clergy
They'd bring their
own score...
...to follow the music
And what beautiful
ladies... elegant
...audacious
Playing tricks again?
And the air was perfumed!
...there was another
atmosphere...
The public today is
no longer the same
I must be boring you
with this chatter
Everything is in place
Beautiful, eh?
But I'm only the copyist,
second fiddle to everyone
Another year...
... and off into retirement
I'll return...
...only to attend concerts
That yes!
I couldn't live
without music
Good morning to one
and all!
I heard some TV people
are coming to do...
...a documentary about our
orchestra. This beautiful...
...auditorium was once
a church
...of the 13th century,
as you must know
There, you can see
ancient tombs and...
I already told them
Oh, I'm the first violinist
Good morning, Mirella
Can somebody help with this
cover? It weighs a ton
Here, let me
Don't say anything.
TV people are here
I'd like to know what
they do with these chairs!
Dirty Filthy!
They'll break!
...Break wind!
I'm having a sauna at 4,
no matter what
...a snake, a lion... about
thirty positions in all
...but it's all
a mental approach
There's no hurry...
...You're doing wonderfully
To me he looks worse
than the last time
Oh, Professor,
with us again!
I'll bet the Professor
here...
...that within 4 months...
Professor, my
Uncle Quintilio...
...ravished them all
for sixty years straight
Big eater. Drinker.
Exceptional stud
Everyone said:
he can't last
Well, let me tell you,
he's 93
...and still going strong
"One of Werther's sons?"
...begins with G
What rotten people
you run into...
...the light turned green
...but he just stood there
I tapped the horn and said
I was late for a rehearsal
Then, as if eyeing a turd,
he says:
"What's there to rehearse?
It's obvious..."
"...you'll never learn"
You're listening to the
soccer game? Not me...
...I'm too nervous
Your barometer?
Let's see what old
faithful says
Oh, it's gone up
another 15%%%
...the prospects aren't
too good for my violin
How's the octopus?
Ah, it's a battle!
The thing's always there...
...lying in ambush
What a bitch!
Go ahead keep up this shit
about my nightmares
Don't get pissed, Professor,
it's bad for you
Our neurosis is the
that's strangling us
We paid a fortune for him,
but wasn't it worth it?
What's that?
A depressant
I've tried them all,
no improvement
...perhaps worse
Why doesn't it play?
- look...
Assholes!
"8 and a Half" is a psycho-
analytical film? Get with it
Brush up! What's with you?
How can I play?
Hey, barometer...
...put the chair where it
belongs so I can play
No, sorry...
It's too close to the stand.
I must sit there
I must. Be courteous
I forgot...
...my glasses
I'm not here for courtesies,
but to play!
I, here!
I, there!
This is my place
You're offensive... THERE!
...HERE!
You sick in the head?...
Stop it!
You stop!
...your attention please
A distinguished guest:
...Television
With technicians
...and director,
for coverage
...of our orchestra
rehearsal
...And interviews
You're better off if we're
not interviewed
otherwise I'll tell
Tell what?
That you get a kickback
For your participation
...and your union
representative agrees...
Compensation: nix
No one made any agreement
It's a special job!
For special rates!
It's not special
No, nothing doing!
We're not in agreement
Theoretically, we could
even accept
...but not the Union
It's the usual hedging
with State Television
that's never solved
Let your representative
tell you
Calm down, people...
We're already poorly paid...
...but TV wants us
for nothing
The public loves music
and the ones who play it.
...but the minute it
becomes a program...
For filming us, at least
a token
...a gift
No one is obliged
...whoever grants
the interview
...grants it. Who doesn't
want, doesn't grant
How silly! Numbskulls!
Allow me to turn your
attention to something...
What kind of
representative are you?
What an insult! Dumb heads!
I dreamt there was a horse
in my room
That's not good
...Though it depends
on the horse's color
Shitheads!
You want to interview me?
I prepared it
...he helped me with it
through
"The piano is like
a king on a throne"
"Immobile. One must go to it"
"Bow down. Near
the stool to it"
"It's like a mythological
creature"... his doing
"A room with a piano
becomes its room"
"It's an instrument
of royal courts"
What was that, Sir?
I said I once played at court
Before Victor Emanuel III
And you weren't shot?
I don't want a piano,
I mean I have one but...
...it needn't be mine
All the pianos of the world
are that piano
To play mine alone...
...would be limiting...
would be restrictive
I think...
...that to realize
one's self, one must...
...be aware
...that is, be more aware
of people
...have more acquaintances
Okay! I'm from
Marina di Pisa
...but I took up the flute
in California
...Where's it's played
sweeter, less violently
The flute is a
delicate instrument
The most similar to
the human voice
Even if they say that
about the cello
...and saxophone
...and probably the drum!
It's funny because
choral groups say...
...they sound like an
instrument! But really...
...only the flute has
that human quality
What a mysterious sound...
supernatural!
It even tames wild beasts
Didn't Apollo use the flute
to awaken the dead?
It's the instrument of magic
spells, both solar and lunar
...why flutists are all
so batty
It's true.
That's what they say
Maybe because they blow
and blow...
...and all that wind goes
to their heads, right?
Everyone expects us to...
...do something strange,
who knows why?
The trombone is a
unique instrument
...with a grave voice, that
admonishes with kindness
And also very comical,
accompanying clowns
...as they squirt water
and take falls
It's the instrument
of angels!
That's true, in Renaissance
paintings you'll see...
...angels with trombones
Received by the Lord
to trombone music...
...fantastic
The trombone
is the voice...
...of a solitary being
I love to listen to it
along the beach
...in wintertime
I have nothing to say,
really
I was looking at that
hanging cobweb
5 or 6 yards long,
isn't it?
With the trombones blowing...
...it swayed back and forth.
Look, look, see it?
...the spider, up there?
...hanging from the thread?
See it?
Isn't it wonderful
that we're here to make...
...a spider go on a swing
Take a look at it
That little spider...
...while the trombones
played...
Can you spare a minute?
...for a frivolous
question?
Is it true there are likes
and dislikes
between instruments?
Absolutely, definite likes
and dislikes
We get along with the bass
...because it keeps time,
tight and even
Without flourishes, trills
or "arpeggios"
The piano is a chatterbox
And violins bleed
In Italy they concentrate
less on rhythm
More on singing. Neapolitans
have a good sense of rhythm
They're the best drummers
Who invented the Tarantella?
The Neapolitans
I'd say the rhythm
instruments...
...are liked
...they got humor.
Yeah, they're friendly
What he says is true
That air of sufficiency...
The condescending tone...
The haughtiness... of
a violin, or a flute
...as it takes its place,
just doesn't exist with us
Let a Neapolitan in
an orchestra...
and what's he become?
The tympanist, the drummer
...it makes him feel happy
A little rhythm even helps
the Maestro...
to get unwound.
Even the oboe
forgets that it's gloomy,
and begins smiling
I don't want to be
interviewed, or photographed
I don't want to be mistaken
for someone else
Try asking him
Professor...
Would you mind answering?
Actually, you don't
deserve it
Without compensation, I
shouldn't bother. However...
...go ahead
Let's see... Tell me
about your cello
It's one of the essential
instruments of an orchestra
You might say that
the violin and cello...
...are the foundations
...upon which all symphonic
concerts are built
The pillars. Am I wrong?
- Yes...
I'll explain the violin...
The 1st violin is the brain,
the heart of the orchestra
And the clarinet
is the cock!
Look, I'd say the cello
comes close...
...to being the
"ideal friend". It's...
...the true friend
...discreet, faithful.
Not like the violin
The violin is seductive,
fascinating
...but deceiving
It's female
Oh, what horseshit!
You don't agree?
No, I don't agree,
because for us the violin...
...is the most virile
instrument in the orchestra
It's female!
Isn't "she" always seducing?
Well, if we want
to play games...
...it's totally masculine
...it's penetrating, phallic!
I agree with my gentle
colleague
It's not at all feminine,
there's nothing...
...languid about it. It's
vibrant and always modern
In the Conservatories it is
still the preferred...
...instrument
The cello is chronically sad
The violin is the true diva
of the orchestra
I was saying that
the first violin...
...is the star
of the orchestra
When unfortunately we have a
conductor who doesn't keep...
...the tempo, and misses
his cues
...one who lacks authority
...and we can tell
immediately
as soon as he reaches
the podium
...and raises the baton
It's the first violin...
...who controls the situation
...and guides the orchestra
...literally substituting...
...the conductor
Whose hand does
the conductor shake
...when the applause comes?
The first violinist's
I once told a conductor:
"You're in love with brass"
"That's your speed:
bandmaster!"
How does that fit in?
Getting back to the cello,
it's certainly
...an instrument that will
never betray you
Once it has chosen you
it remains faithful
The bassoon...
good for clowns
I owe everything to
the violin.
It helped me take wing
ahead of time
In what sense?
It helped me discover
where dissonances lie
You're interviewing me?
Then I'll go there
That's my place
Comb your hair before the
red light goes on, Curly
Yes, certainly...
The clarinet?
It led me out
of the fog of my hometown.
A village...
...in the Po Valley: Gazoldo
From August to April of
the following year...
...it's invisible
The bell tower vanishes,
the school vanishes... and
Let me explain: thanks
to the clarinet...
...I traveled the world.
And even met...
...the great Toscanini,
who told me:
"Bravo, young fellow,
finally..."
"I hear a nice clarinet
sound." His words
"Finally, I hear a nice
clarinet sound!"
And you said?
- What could I say
to a Toscanini
who tells you:
"Bravo, finally I hear
a nice clarinet sound"
What did he say?
Didn't you hear?
"Bravo, young fellow..."
"finally I hear a nice
clarinet sound"
Who was playing?
I was!
...a truly fantastic
instrument
...engaging. Not only
for its miraculous
...possibilities.
With a trumpet...
...you can venture into
incredible music acrobatics..
No! What's extraordinary...
...is that it allows you
to express what's inside you
...joy, sadness...
even silence
Claudio, you better talk
to this guy
Pipe down, I'm being
interviewed here!
A mistake... it happens
The trumpet is
a passport to...
a greater dimension
Who plays it, understands
A dimension of fullness
Everything is more intense,
more sublime
Ask any trumpet player...
we're quite a few
Tell him how we trumpets
study harder than anyone
What was that?
It's true
We spend hours making
our lips supple
...before we begin playing
The margin of error allowed
to other instruments
...isn't tolerated for
the trumpet
Aren't the strings just
as demanding?
A clinker on a trumpet
is death
...it has become a mania...
I can't sleep...
...I'm a sleepwalker...
They found me wandering
outside in pajamas
...playing the trumpet
I'm always terrified
of going sour
You've worked quite a lot...
Hey, "paragraph 9"! You've
had it with me
You can go play
in a jukebox
There's no muzzling in
without getting cleared
through personnel
You understand?
Yes, I'm the Union
Representative
for this category
Glad to answer you.
We've freed musicians...
...from a state of
intolerable servility
The music worker today
has reestablished
...his dignity
He's not a minstrel,
or the puppet
...of conductors and agents
But an integrated worker,
conscious of his contribution
...to mass culture
How did we achieve this?
By safeguarding his prestige
as a professional
...through union struggles
From equitable salary
demands to...
...the elimination
of mediators!
Keep quiet!
From reconstructing
the organic whole...
of the orchestra
...to the shifting
of progressive objectives...
I thought we agreed... What
will I do with him...
A mouse!
There! Behind the painting
It's behind there.
- It's huge!
There it is!
Don't kill it!
They're opening
all the sewers
with their reconstructions
Burn it! You gotta burn it!
Let's fry it
Careful! Catch it
It won't die. It bites
I don't want to see it!
Let's stew it
All right, throw it out.
You're disgusting
Hey! Are we insured
against rats!
To your places!
In place!
The Maestro's here
Our respects, Maestro
How terrible! Please,
no time now
Put out dat light.
Ja, I know...
...you from TV, but
I'm against it
Oboe!...
My feet are freezing
I forgot my wool booties
at home
Why you interested
in rehearsals?
This is a workshop.
Or it should be
...where we try to put
something together
What are we doing now?
...trying to construct
something
Exactly for what purpose,
I've...
...never understood.
You excuse me now
We will talk after
That light, please
The strings, only strings
Violins, what's wrong,
had an argument?
Everyone is playing...
...for himself.
Maybe because
...you belong
to different parties?
Why bother answering him?
Attention...
Stop! Stop!
With finesse! We're not
in Amusement Park
Sentiment, but with elegance.
You're violins
...not trumpets!
Flute, it's an E-flat
...not natural
Here it says E natural
It's an E-flat
It's E natural
Correct it...
For you it's always
the copyist's fault!
Clarinet, not... uhaaa!
...more delicate, poetic
Why laughing?
...not comic
Maestro, the whole phrase
is hilarious
Composer's intention
was not hilarity
You laugh uselessly
Listen...
Even he's laughing
It's very funny
You're funnier
than the music
I'm sending you 4 clarinets
Even if you need 1,
you gotta take 4
After, I'll tell you later
Why didn't I stay
in California?
Where are we?
...on a soccer field?
Take me for an umpire?
Too strong! Too penetrating!
Castrate yourselves
He's right... the brass
was too loud
He's a riot!
Put the sheets back, go on
I'm also sending a certain
Ciccio Calamida
He plays nothing, but
you gotta take him
because the undersecretary...
Why did he do that?
To give us a little break?
...many thanks
Remember the one who threw
his watch at me?
Tomorrow, though. If it's
400 I'll give you 20%%%
Sunday at the beach
and bring the kid
Let's try the "Gallopade"
...from no. 15
Alt! You got fear of strings?
Or low blood pressure?
Da capo!
Alt! Oboe, too invading!
...give room to the others.
Da capo!
You tickle the strings
...you must slice! Saw!
May I ask a question?
Do you know what you're
here for?
I want compact sound.
Da capo!
That's it! Like that
Go on!
I don't hear! More life
Let me hear the bass!
Don't fall behind!
Weiter!
Genauso! Break through!
...ACHTUNG!
Toscanini clarinet,
please be so kind...
...to repeat alone
last four bars
...from no. 82
No, I played it once then
twice. The third time...
...by myself is against
union regulations
The passage must be executed
by the entire orchestra
What's he running,
a school?
I'd think less about unions
and more...
...about music
And yet I insist
If Wagner had to worry about
...unions and strikes
...nix music and operas
It's not the union's fault
if he wrote lousy music
Ja... there's no peace
...no calm, no silence
It's a shit life
Smear that shit on
your baton and then
...give it a lick
From 5-3-0
The saxhorn, please
What was that?
Saxhorn?
Not here
Meaning what?
I don't know. He's not here
He "couldn't" come,
why is that?
You asking me?
I'll restate it
Not he "couldn't", but
he "wouldn't" come...
...in protest
With the Union's approval
So who plays,
somebody's sister?
Leave our sisters alone
...let's keep
the families out
You said,
"somebody's sister"
I only meant a...
...hypothetical
saxhorn sister
I don't grasp such subtle
humor
You just worry about
your baton
...and we'll take care
of our relatives
All right then, from 5-2-0
Not now
The orchestra is upset
...I doubt they can
continue rehearsing
What the devil do you want
from me?
See me lose my mind,
you want?
You want my ass?
Here, you got it!
The orchestra will take
a double break
...20 minutes
The conductor? He's not
too bad
Bit hysterical, but
within reason
There's no need for
conductors like that
A metronome's better
The public should sit
in with us
They'd hear the orchestra
as if watching a...
...battle in a movie
...or watching a real battle
Ascetic. Tormented.
Authoritative
Magnetic... the identity
of a great conductor!
Then there are the mystics,
the priest-like
The acrobatic
How 'bout that lion tamer?
He'd turn into a harp,
a violin, the drum
...a kettledrum, even
the bassoon, what a riot!
When there's a TV camera...
... you can't shut up
My Maestro up there
has to look at me
...otherwise I'm jealous
I'm on camera?
"We're the lilies
of the valley"
"We're pure Romans"
...who's got friends?
Who sees anybody?
You come in, punch a card
...and pick it up later
It's a factory
Me?
I thought I'd tour
the world with this
...but I'm always here
I'm sick of it...
...this ridiculous
fart horn...
It makes me feel useless,
it should be eliminated
What's it good for?
It can even be dangerous
I give my all to shape
a sound
...and out comes
another fart
I think...
...it's the very symbol
of obtuseness
...of a stolid mentality
Of those relationships...
...in an orchestra,
that inhibit
...any sort of contact
I wanted to say that many
of us are from the provinces
What province?...
I'm from Naples:
"vaffanculo"
The actual truth though
...is that we're limited
...culturally
We've no real interests
in anything
We spend our lives with
a piece of wood or tin
...blowing away, or plucking
Blow your philosophy
someplace else
Anyway...
All your gabbing about
...Unions, the organic whole,
politics
...brass section, strings
...this or that conductor
...couldn't interest me less
Because I can't get it up
anymore
That's the real tragedy
Drink, drink, it's great
for the liver and the brain
Just a drop of wine...
...picks me up
A little drop can't hurt
It's whiskey, I saw it
...and I even smell it
Each to his own vices.
Better to drink...
...than go molesting
little girls
They'll catch you one day.
That's worse...
...than whiskey
I didn't choose the tuba
...it chose me
I loved the trumpet.
It gave me goose pimples
You remember in the army...
...when they played taps
I'd get a lump in my throat
...and then go AWOL.
I'm very sensitive
All art makes me cry
And that's not all...
At times I could die
Why?
The world is evil
Now I miss my father!
What the fuck you saying?
Let's talk about
the instrument
The fact that everybody
refused it, moved me
Poor tuba... like a stray dog
I felt akin to it
...sad, and solitary...
It's awkward like me
We had to get together
And we did. I did well,
it was destiny!
...I'm attached to it
...we're true friends
When things are down
we go by the window
...look up at the moon
...and play a little solo
from Verdi
Like to hear it? Eh?
A little piece, why not
People react and interpret
sounds, each in their own way
It's a personal thing
An F-sharp, or a B-flat
...can make some
people swoon
...and others vomit. That's
the way the ball bounces
Yes, true
What a magnificent
instrument the oboe is
It's the oldest of all
...invented by the Chinese
The most difficult
The most delicate
...and most alone
We oboists are isolated
Envied, even disliked
The orchestra has to reckon
with the oboe
The oboe sets down the laws
The oboe established
the diapason
...between the highest pitch
...and the lowest
It's owing to this privilege
...that the violin hates
the oboe
...and the oboe the violin
It's an instrument
...of great spirituality
He who plays it,
develops...
...a sort of special power
An interior vision
...which permits him
...to perceive the color
of sound
I play...
...and see
...an aura of gold
...luminous
...the color of sunlight...
like a spreading reflection
It's true...
I once saw a thing...
...like a long streamer
A supernatural experience!
Let him hear.
You care to hear?
Certainly, if you're
not bored
Maestro?... Excuse me
Another minute...
...he's taking a shower
With the permanent conductor
they once had...
...the musicians didn't
carry on like this
Everyone wore a tie!
You were in trouble
if you didn't
Now I wouldn't be surprised
if they soaked their feet...
...while playing.
We had a strict rule
Whoever went flat
or missed his cue
...had to play standing
For the length of
the entire concert
...as punishment
What? Sessions? Hour shifts?
...you worked all night
Ah, how often I had to wait
till dawn
And the musicians, at dawn,
dead tired...
...would applaud
the conductor
...and thank him
Oh, he was phenomenal
...he conducted with eyes
closed, as if in a trance
...and yet saw everything.
How?...
When he had to give a player
a calling down
...he could find words
that would skin him alive
And make him ill for a month
And with his baton?
Such lashings...
...on the hands and fingers
of those players
who made a mistake
It would hiss!
Yet, you know something?
They were happy
...for those hand raps
They'd come up like
school children
...hands held out and say:
"My fault"
"Hit me too... Me too,
I was wrong"
Those were the days!
You see what he's doing?
TAKE YOUR STICK AND
CONDUCT MY PRICK
You think that's right?
Maybe now it's right
No one knows anymore
Maestro, there are...
What else you want to know?
I ask you: does music exist?
No?
Then the world doesn't exist.
Only our habits do
You may go...
What meaning
has music today?
You think people know
what music is?
They consider themselves
intelligent because they feel
...emotion in the gut.
They're participating
Beethoven makes them feel
like knights in armor
Some seem to be jumping out
of their seats
When I'm conducting, I'm
always feeling ridiculous
As if dead. I feel
like a ghost
Better I don't say these
things. Cancel it!
Today nothing is forgiven.
One must be...
...always intelligent
So let us say: music is...
...the world
When I conduct I own
the world.
I am a king
You want to know really
how I feel?
Like a sergeant who
must go kicking...
...everybody in the ass
But absurd laws forbid me...
...to be a sergeant
Certainly we have taken
advantage of
our privileged positions
Excuse me...
Ach, warm as usual
...no ice
Talent is the child of whims
and eccentricity
I once asked a musician
to remove his ring
...the twinkling of the stone
bothered me
And this seemed a caprice,
the whim of a divo
That may even be
But an exuberant character
for an artist
...is a vital charge
...for leading others,
for interpreting symphonies
Prosit
But now this unique charge
of the conductor
is being contested
The musicians?...
...don't look at them,
don't see them
Sometimes they have
unbearable face
I'd put...
...a screen in front
of some of them
They're like wild dogs
With wild eyes... No!
Better cancel that too
...or they shoot my legs
The time of greatness
is "Kaputt"
I remember the first time
I took my place at the podium
My first, great impression
was...
...the enormous silence
that fell before me
As I signaled to begin...
...I suddenly realized,
with great emotion,
that my conductor's baton
...was tied to the sound
of the orchestra
Its voice came from within
my hand
It would pull the orchestra
out of silence
...and to silence make
it return
This voice would rise...
...like a sea wave
together with my arm
...moving through the air
like a bird's wing
And when my arm lowered,
this harmonic voice...
...would fade again into
silence
But now everyone is equal,
and I should resemble...
...the first violinist
with his butcher's hands
So I have fits of rage
And buy houses
Two in America
One in Tokyo, in London,
and Berlin...
In Paris, no houses.
That's because...
I do not go along with
the music of France
That's why, maybe,
the Customs at Orly...
...is always frisking me
...from head to foot
You have your interview?
That's enough
You say "the conductor"
but this word...
...has no meaning anymore
A true conductor is like
a priest
He must have a church...
with believers
...but when the faithful
all become
...atheists...
I remember Koplensky
my great maestro
...I was first violinist
When he took the podium,
everything was silence
He would only look around...
...distractedly.
But he already knew
...every line of the score
in front of him
He was music personified
And we followed him happily,
with absolute reverence
To enact the rite
of transubstantiation
...to change the wine
into blood...
...the bread into flesh...
You laugh?
...I hope not
Music is always sacred
Every concert is a Mass
We were enthralled,
and we...
...would forget
all worries...
...at the first sign
of his baton
...We were but one breath,
we and our instruments
...a single vital force
He would begin!
Nothing was more beautiful
than his authority
We trembled...
...at the thought
...of a mistake
in performing this rite
An overwhelming emotion
...an immense happiness
We could feel...
...our joy transmitting
itself
...to the audience, which was
immobile, holding its breath
We didn't watch the conductor
it wasn't necessary
He was there, and we knew it
...we felt it
He was... within us
...so much love passed
between him and us
A love which you can see...
...is now lost
I and my musicians only feel
diffidence for each other
The doubting...
...which destroys belief
And then there's a lack
of respect
There's resentment. Because
something has been lost
...never to be found
That's how we play together
United by a mutual hatred
...like a family in ruin
Maestro, the lights have
gone out
I know
What now?
The break is over,
we rehearse!
Go ahead, walk.
Light my way
"Conductor, conductor..."
"Conductor, no more!"
"You'll only conduct us
Bowed to the floor"
Claudio... you gotta
do something
Now, the other eye!
Boys, what are you doing?
...listen
"Conductor, conductor...
Conductor, no more"
"You'll only conduct us
Bowed to the floor"
Conductor no more!
No conducting allowed!
We were idiots...
...to study
...to spend a lifetime
in a Conservatory
That's right!
We don't need conductors,
don't need music
Nothing. Just a ring...
...in our nose like savages
Music is a public service.
It belongs to everyone
Without class distinction
Maestro...
...how did this happen?
"Conductor, conductor..."
"Conductor no more"
"You'll only conduct us
Bowed to the floor"
What are you doing?
You're crazy!
How nice...
...you're all sweated...
"Conductor, Conductor..."
What's falling here?
What's happening?
- Worse yet, you're shifty,
and corrupt. You've
been bought
You signed too
I'm reporting you the
Association. Immediately
Down with music power!
Down with assembly line
music!
It's gotta stop!
Stop!
Take a look, what's
on my head?
Let me taste
What is it you want?
Moron, it's raining!
I'll not be insulted!
What's he doing?
Look at how one can
ruin his life...
Again...
Another?
Down with the baton!
Music belongs to us!
You don't exist! Who is he?
I ask you, who is he?
He doesn't exist. And if
he does, he shouldn't!
There's blood. Wretches!
Madmen!
"You're fucked,
you're through"
"It's all over for you"
May I sit down for
the interview?
I was first aware
of the harp...
...in a dream.
I was very little
I didn't know what
to think...
...of that small gold cage
One day, in a book...
...I saw Nero, and Rome
that was burning
...and the instrument
I had dreamt
And then in a perfumed
calendar there was...
...an angel flying and
he played the same harp...
...of my dreams
The harp!
For me it's a human presence
I couldn't live in a house
without a 60 harp
I'd never fall asleep
if I didn't know...
...it was nearby in
the next room
At times hands seem
to run across it
I hear it play
...it could be the wind
The harp is my very life
Not only for what
I have earned
...but it's my refuge
...my friend
I've always lived alone.
No men
No one
...only the harp
We confide, we talk...
...it answers me,
I receive sensations
...fantasies... an
overwhelming sense of joy
...and of sadness
Mostly, it gives one...
...faith
You become aware...
...that other
dimensions exist
A child once asked:
"Where does music go
when it's over?"
...only a child could
ask that
"Orchestra - terror
Conductor - death"
"Orchestra - terror
Conductor - death"
"Orchestra - terror
Who plays is a traitor"
Here's our new conductor!
Long live the Metronome!
"Metronome metronomous...
Musicians - autonomous"
"Musicians at last
freed from the past"
Down with the metronome.
We'll establish...
...the tempo, the rhythm,
the cadence
We've had enough
of their music
...it's degrading!
We play it, we'll create it,
we'll manage it
I'll not...
...be directed by anyone!
Death!
...to the metronome!
Idiot! Give me that gun
...gimme
You're hurting me.
I have a permit
Look in my wallet
All right let's see it
...in his name
A regular firearm permit
Get up...
A Smith & Wesson!
Look up there... up there!
Look!
Everything's...
...crumbling!
Help me...
Help me...
Oh, why?
...you are here...
...and I'm here...
Everyone must give undivided
attention to his instrument
...that is all we can do now
Somebody can help me?
...please
The notes are saving us
Music saves us
Hang on to the notes
Follow the notes
...one after the other...
In the way my hand...
...can indicate
We are musicians...
You are musicians...
...and we're here
...to rehearse
Have no fear.
The rehearsal continues
To your places!
In place, please
...thank you...
You must do less coloring
with sounds
Noise is not music
Not a trolley car,
I heard pots and pans
Where are we?
...one a soccer field?
You think I'm an umpire?
And where has
the brass gone?
What's happened to
your little lungs?
Where is all your breath?
...used it for
stupid chatter?
Sustain the notes!
Gentlemen... DA CAPO!
Ooooh! Go on...
...try it out
The acoustics
are marvelous
It was an ancient oratory
Along there, are the tombs
of3 popes
...and 7 bishops
It's a graveyard in here
In 1871...
...this oratory became
a true auditorium
...for both vocal
and instrumental concerts
All the courts of Europe
envied us for it
For its acoustics
Ooooh, hear it?
The sound is limpid,
without echo
Ideal for listening
to music
Without any reverberation
That podium was...
...for the world's
great conductors...
...a mark of achievement
What musicians!
And the people!
There were ministers,
ambassadors, clergy
They'd bring their
own score...
...to follow the music
And what beautiful
ladies... elegant
...audacious
Playing tricks again?
And the air was perfumed!
...there was another
atmosphere...
The public today is
no longer the same
I must be boring you
with this chatter
Everything is in place
Beautiful, eh?
But I'm only the copyist,
second fiddle to everyone
Another year...
... and off into retirement
I'll return...
...only to attend concerts
That yes!
I couldn't live
without music
Good morning to one
and all!
I heard some TV people
are coming to do...
...a documentary about our
orchestra. This beautiful...
...auditorium was once
a church
...of the 13th century,
as you must know
There, you can see
ancient tombs and...
I already told them
Oh, I'm the first violinist
Good morning, Mirella
Can somebody help with this
cover? It weighs a ton
Here, let me
Don't say anything.
TV people are here
I'd like to know what
they do with these chairs!
Dirty Filthy!
They'll break!
...Break wind!
I'm having a sauna at 4,
no matter what
...a snake, a lion... about
thirty positions in all
...but it's all
a mental approach
There's no hurry...
...You're doing wonderfully
To me he looks worse
than the last time
Oh, Professor,
with us again!
I'll bet the Professor
here...
...that within 4 months...
Professor, my
Uncle Quintilio...
...ravished them all
for sixty years straight
Big eater. Drinker.
Exceptional stud
Everyone said:
he can't last
Well, let me tell you,
he's 93
...and still going strong
"One of Werther's sons?"
...begins with G
What rotten people
you run into...
...the light turned green
...but he just stood there
I tapped the horn and said
I was late for a rehearsal
Then, as if eyeing a turd,
he says:
"What's there to rehearse?
It's obvious..."
"...you'll never learn"
You're listening to the
soccer game? Not me...
...I'm too nervous
Your barometer?
Let's see what old
faithful says
Oh, it's gone up
another 15%%%
...the prospects aren't
too good for my violin
How's the octopus?
Ah, it's a battle!
The thing's always there...
...lying in ambush
What a bitch!
Go ahead keep up this shit
about my nightmares
Don't get pissed, Professor,
it's bad for you
Our neurosis is the
that's strangling us
We paid a fortune for him,
but wasn't it worth it?
What's that?
A depressant
I've tried them all,
no improvement
...perhaps worse
Why doesn't it play?
- look...
Assholes!
"8 and a Half" is a psycho-
analytical film? Get with it
Brush up! What's with you?
How can I play?
Hey, barometer...
...put the chair where it
belongs so I can play
No, sorry...
It's too close to the stand.
I must sit there
I must. Be courteous
I forgot...
...my glasses
I'm not here for courtesies,
but to play!
I, here!
I, there!
This is my place
You're offensive... THERE!
...HERE!
You sick in the head?...
Stop it!
You stop!
...your attention please
A distinguished guest:
...Television
With technicians
...and director,
for coverage
...of our orchestra
rehearsal
...And interviews
You're better off if we're
not interviewed
otherwise I'll tell
Tell what?
That you get a kickback
For your participation
...and your union
representative agrees...
Compensation: nix
No one made any agreement
It's a special job!
For special rates!
It's not special
No, nothing doing!
We're not in agreement
Theoretically, we could
even accept
...but not the Union
It's the usual hedging
with State Television
that's never solved
Let your representative
tell you
Calm down, people...
We're already poorly paid...
...but TV wants us
for nothing
The public loves music
and the ones who play it.
...but the minute it
becomes a program...
For filming us, at least
a token
...a gift
No one is obliged
...whoever grants
the interview
...grants it. Who doesn't
want, doesn't grant
How silly! Numbskulls!
Allow me to turn your
attention to something...
What kind of
representative are you?
What an insult! Dumb heads!
I dreamt there was a horse
in my room
That's not good
...Though it depends
on the horse's color
Shitheads!
You want to interview me?
I prepared it
...he helped me with it
through
"The piano is like
a king on a throne"
"Immobile. One must go to it"
"Bow down. Near
the stool to it"
"It's like a mythological
creature"... his doing
"A room with a piano
becomes its room"
"It's an instrument
of royal courts"
What was that, Sir?
I said I once played at court
Before Victor Emanuel III
And you weren't shot?
I don't want a piano,
I mean I have one but...
...it needn't be mine
All the pianos of the world
are that piano
To play mine alone...
...would be limiting...
would be restrictive
I think...
...that to realize
one's self, one must...
...be aware
...that is, be more aware
of people
...have more acquaintances
Okay! I'm from
Marina di Pisa
...but I took up the flute
in California
...Where's it's played
sweeter, less violently
The flute is a
delicate instrument
The most similar to
the human voice
Even if they say that
about the cello
...and saxophone
...and probably the drum!
It's funny because
choral groups say...
...they sound like an
instrument! But really...
...only the flute has
that human quality
What a mysterious sound...
supernatural!
It even tames wild beasts
Didn't Apollo use the flute
to awaken the dead?
It's the instrument of magic
spells, both solar and lunar
...why flutists are all
so batty
It's true.
That's what they say
Maybe because they blow
and blow...
...and all that wind goes
to their heads, right?
Everyone expects us to...
...do something strange,
who knows why?
The trombone is a
unique instrument
...with a grave voice, that
admonishes with kindness
And also very comical,
accompanying clowns
...as they squirt water
and take falls
It's the instrument
of angels!
That's true, in Renaissance
paintings you'll see...
...angels with trombones
Received by the Lord
to trombone music...
...fantastic
The trombone
is the voice...
...of a solitary being
I love to listen to it
along the beach
...in wintertime
I have nothing to say,
really
I was looking at that
hanging cobweb
5 or 6 yards long,
isn't it?
With the trombones blowing...
...it swayed back and forth.
Look, look, see it?
...the spider, up there?
...hanging from the thread?
See it?
Isn't it wonderful
that we're here to make...
...a spider go on a swing
Take a look at it
That little spider...
...while the trombones
played...
Can you spare a minute?
...for a frivolous
question?
Is it true there are likes
and dislikes
between instruments?
Absolutely, definite likes
and dislikes
We get along with the bass
...because it keeps time,
tight and even
Without flourishes, trills
or "arpeggios"
The piano is a chatterbox
And violins bleed
In Italy they concentrate
less on rhythm
More on singing. Neapolitans
have a good sense of rhythm
They're the best drummers
Who invented the Tarantella?
The Neapolitans
I'd say the rhythm
instruments...
...are liked
...they got humor.
Yeah, they're friendly
What he says is true
That air of sufficiency...
The condescending tone...
The haughtiness... of
a violin, or a flute
...as it takes its place,
just doesn't exist with us
Let a Neapolitan in
an orchestra...
and what's he become?
The tympanist, the drummer
...it makes him feel happy
A little rhythm even helps
the Maestro...
to get unwound.
Even the oboe
forgets that it's gloomy,
and begins smiling
I don't want to be
interviewed, or photographed
I don't want to be mistaken
for someone else
Try asking him
Professor...
Would you mind answering?
Actually, you don't
deserve it
Without compensation, I
shouldn't bother. However...
...go ahead
Let's see... Tell me
about your cello
It's one of the essential
instruments of an orchestra
You might say that
the violin and cello...
...are the foundations
...upon which all symphonic
concerts are built
The pillars. Am I wrong?
- Yes...
I'll explain the violin...
The 1st violin is the brain,
the heart of the orchestra
And the clarinet
is the cock!
Look, I'd say the cello
comes close...
...to being the
"ideal friend". It's...
...the true friend
...discreet, faithful.
Not like the violin
The violin is seductive,
fascinating
...but deceiving
It's female
Oh, what horseshit!
You don't agree?
No, I don't agree,
because for us the violin...
...is the most virile
instrument in the orchestra
It's female!
Isn't "she" always seducing?
Well, if we want
to play games...
...it's totally masculine
...it's penetrating, phallic!
I agree with my gentle
colleague
It's not at all feminine,
there's nothing...
...languid about it. It's
vibrant and always modern
In the Conservatories it is
still the preferred...
...instrument
The cello is chronically sad
The violin is the true diva
of the orchestra
I was saying that
the first violin...
...is the star
of the orchestra
When unfortunately we have a
conductor who doesn't keep...
...the tempo, and misses
his cues
...one who lacks authority
...and we can tell
immediately
as soon as he reaches
the podium
...and raises the baton
It's the first violin...
...who controls the situation
...and guides the orchestra
...literally substituting...
...the conductor
Whose hand does
the conductor shake
...when the applause comes?
The first violinist's
I once told a conductor:
"You're in love with brass"
"That's your speed:
bandmaster!"
How does that fit in?
Getting back to the cello,
it's certainly
...an instrument that will
never betray you
Once it has chosen you
it remains faithful
The bassoon...
good for clowns
I owe everything to
the violin.
It helped me take wing
ahead of time
In what sense?
It helped me discover
where dissonances lie
You're interviewing me?
Then I'll go there
That's my place
Comb your hair before the
red light goes on, Curly
Yes, certainly...
The clarinet?
It led me out
of the fog of my hometown.
A village...
...in the Po Valley: Gazoldo
From August to April of
the following year...
...it's invisible
The bell tower vanishes,
the school vanishes... and
Let me explain: thanks
to the clarinet...
...I traveled the world.
And even met...
...the great Toscanini,
who told me:
"Bravo, young fellow,
finally..."
"I hear a nice clarinet
sound." His words
"Finally, I hear a nice
clarinet sound!"
And you said?
- What could I say
to a Toscanini
who tells you:
"Bravo, finally I hear
a nice clarinet sound"
What did he say?
Didn't you hear?
"Bravo, young fellow..."
"finally I hear a nice
clarinet sound"
Who was playing?
I was!
...a truly fantastic
instrument
...engaging. Not only
for its miraculous
...possibilities.
With a trumpet...
...you can venture into
incredible music acrobatics..
No! What's extraordinary...
...is that it allows you
to express what's inside you
...joy, sadness...
even silence
Claudio, you better talk
to this guy
Pipe down, I'm being
interviewed here!
A mistake... it happens
The trumpet is
a passport to...
a greater dimension
Who plays it, understands
A dimension of fullness
Everything is more intense,
more sublime
Ask any trumpet player...
we're quite a few
Tell him how we trumpets
study harder than anyone
What was that?
It's true
We spend hours making
our lips supple
...before we begin playing
The margin of error allowed
to other instruments
...isn't tolerated for
the trumpet
Aren't the strings just
as demanding?
A clinker on a trumpet
is death
...it has become a mania...
I can't sleep...
...I'm a sleepwalker...
They found me wandering
outside in pajamas
...playing the trumpet
I'm always terrified
of going sour
You've worked quite a lot...
Hey, "paragraph 9"! You've
had it with me
You can go play
in a jukebox
There's no muzzling in
without getting cleared
through personnel
You understand?
Yes, I'm the Union
Representative
for this category
Glad to answer you.
We've freed musicians...
...from a state of
intolerable servility
The music worker today
has reestablished
...his dignity
He's not a minstrel,
or the puppet
...of conductors and agents
But an integrated worker,
conscious of his contribution
...to mass culture
How did we achieve this?
By safeguarding his prestige
as a professional
...through union struggles
From equitable salary
demands to...
...the elimination
of mediators!
Keep quiet!
From reconstructing
the organic whole...
of the orchestra
...to the shifting
of progressive objectives...
I thought we agreed... What
will I do with him...
A mouse!
There! Behind the painting
It's behind there.
- It's huge!
There it is!
Don't kill it!
They're opening
all the sewers
with their reconstructions
Burn it! You gotta burn it!
Let's fry it
Careful! Catch it
It won't die. It bites
I don't want to see it!
Let's stew it
All right, throw it out.
You're disgusting
Hey! Are we insured
against rats!
To your places!
In place!
The Maestro's here
Our respects, Maestro
How terrible! Please,
no time now
Put out dat light.
Ja, I know...
...you from TV, but
I'm against it
Oboe!...
My feet are freezing
I forgot my wool booties
at home
Why you interested
in rehearsals?
This is a workshop.
Or it should be
...where we try to put
something together
What are we doing now?
...trying to construct
something
Exactly for what purpose,
I've...
...never understood.
You excuse me now
We will talk after
That light, please
The strings, only strings
Violins, what's wrong,
had an argument?
Everyone is playing...
...for himself.
Maybe because
...you belong
to different parties?
Why bother answering him?
Attention...
Stop! Stop!
With finesse! We're not
in Amusement Park
Sentiment, but with elegance.
You're violins
...not trumpets!
Flute, it's an E-flat
...not natural
Here it says E natural
It's an E-flat
It's E natural
Correct it...
For you it's always
the copyist's fault!
Clarinet, not... uhaaa!
...more delicate, poetic
Why laughing?
...not comic
Maestro, the whole phrase
is hilarious
Composer's intention
was not hilarity
You laugh uselessly
Listen...
Even he's laughing
It's very funny
You're funnier
than the music
I'm sending you 4 clarinets
Even if you need 1,
you gotta take 4
After, I'll tell you later
Why didn't I stay
in California?
Where are we?
...on a soccer field?
Take me for an umpire?
Too strong! Too penetrating!
Castrate yourselves
He's right... the brass
was too loud
He's a riot!
Put the sheets back, go on
I'm also sending a certain
Ciccio Calamida
He plays nothing, but
you gotta take him
because the undersecretary...
Why did he do that?
To give us a little break?
...many thanks
Remember the one who threw
his watch at me?
Tomorrow, though. If it's
400 I'll give you 20%%%
Sunday at the beach
and bring the kid
Let's try the "Gallopade"
...from no. 15
Alt! You got fear of strings?
Or low blood pressure?
Da capo!
Alt! Oboe, too invading!
...give room to the others.
Da capo!
You tickle the strings
...you must slice! Saw!
May I ask a question?
Do you know what you're
here for?
I want compact sound.
Da capo!
That's it! Like that
Go on!
I don't hear! More life
Let me hear the bass!
Don't fall behind!
Weiter!
Genauso! Break through!
...ACHTUNG!
Toscanini clarinet,
please be so kind...
...to repeat alone
last four bars
...from no. 82
No, I played it once then
twice. The third time...
...by myself is against
union regulations
The passage must be executed
by the entire orchestra
What's he running,
a school?
I'd think less about unions
and more...
...about music
And yet I insist
If Wagner had to worry about
...unions and strikes
...nix music and operas
It's not the union's fault
if he wrote lousy music
Ja... there's no peace
...no calm, no silence
It's a shit life
Smear that shit on
your baton and then
...give it a lick
From 5-3-0
The saxhorn, please
What was that?
Saxhorn?
Not here
Meaning what?
I don't know. He's not here
He "couldn't" come,
why is that?
You asking me?
I'll restate it
Not he "couldn't", but
he "wouldn't" come...
...in protest
With the Union's approval
So who plays,
somebody's sister?
Leave our sisters alone
...let's keep
the families out
You said,
"somebody's sister"
I only meant a...
...hypothetical
saxhorn sister
I don't grasp such subtle
humor
You just worry about
your baton
...and we'll take care
of our relatives
All right then, from 5-2-0
Not now
The orchestra is upset
...I doubt they can
continue rehearsing
What the devil do you want
from me?
See me lose my mind,
you want?
You want my ass?
Here, you got it!
The orchestra will take
a double break
...20 minutes
The conductor? He's not
too bad
Bit hysterical, but
within reason
There's no need for
conductors like that
A metronome's better
The public should sit
in with us
They'd hear the orchestra
as if watching a...
...battle in a movie
...or watching a real battle
Ascetic. Tormented.
Authoritative
Magnetic... the identity
of a great conductor!
Then there are the mystics,
the priest-like
The acrobatic
How 'bout that lion tamer?
He'd turn into a harp,
a violin, the drum
...a kettledrum, even
the bassoon, what a riot!
When there's a TV camera...
... you can't shut up
My Maestro up there
has to look at me
...otherwise I'm jealous
I'm on camera?
"We're the lilies
of the valley"
"We're pure Romans"
...who's got friends?
Who sees anybody?
You come in, punch a card
...and pick it up later
It's a factory
Me?
I thought I'd tour
the world with this
...but I'm always here
I'm sick of it...
...this ridiculous
fart horn...
It makes me feel useless,
it should be eliminated
What's it good for?
It can even be dangerous
I give my all to shape
a sound
...and out comes
another fart
I think...
...it's the very symbol
of obtuseness
...of a stolid mentality
Of those relationships...
...in an orchestra,
that inhibit
...any sort of contact
I wanted to say that many
of us are from the provinces
What province?...
I'm from Naples:
"vaffanculo"
The actual truth though
...is that we're limited
...culturally
We've no real interests
in anything
We spend our lives with
a piece of wood or tin
...blowing away, or plucking
Blow your philosophy
someplace else
Anyway...
All your gabbing about
...Unions, the organic whole,
politics
...brass section, strings
...this or that conductor
...couldn't interest me less
Because I can't get it up
anymore
That's the real tragedy
Drink, drink, it's great
for the liver and the brain
Just a drop of wine...
...picks me up
A little drop can't hurt
It's whiskey, I saw it
...and I even smell it
Each to his own vices.
Better to drink...
...than go molesting
little girls
They'll catch you one day.
That's worse...
...than whiskey
I didn't choose the tuba
...it chose me
I loved the trumpet.
It gave me goose pimples
You remember in the army...
...when they played taps
I'd get a lump in my throat
...and then go AWOL.
I'm very sensitive
All art makes me cry
And that's not all...
At times I could die
Why?
The world is evil
Now I miss my father!
What the fuck you saying?
Let's talk about
the instrument
The fact that everybody
refused it, moved me
Poor tuba... like a stray dog
I felt akin to it
...sad, and solitary...
It's awkward like me
We had to get together
And we did. I did well,
it was destiny!
...I'm attached to it
...we're true friends
When things are down
we go by the window
...look up at the moon
...and play a little solo
from Verdi
Like to hear it? Eh?
A little piece, why not
People react and interpret
sounds, each in their own way
It's a personal thing
An F-sharp, or a B-flat
...can make some
people swoon
...and others vomit. That's
the way the ball bounces
Yes, true
What a magnificent
instrument the oboe is
It's the oldest of all
...invented by the Chinese
The most difficult
The most delicate
...and most alone
We oboists are isolated
Envied, even disliked
The orchestra has to reckon
with the oboe
The oboe sets down the laws
The oboe established
the diapason
...between the highest pitch
...and the lowest
It's owing to this privilege
...that the violin hates
the oboe
...and the oboe the violin
It's an instrument
...of great spirituality
He who plays it,
develops...
...a sort of special power
An interior vision
...which permits him
...to perceive the color
of sound
I play...
...and see
...an aura of gold
...luminous
...the color of sunlight...
like a spreading reflection
It's true...
I once saw a thing...
...like a long streamer
A supernatural experience!
Let him hear.
You care to hear?
Certainly, if you're
not bored
Maestro?... Excuse me
Another minute...
...he's taking a shower
With the permanent conductor
they once had...
...the musicians didn't
carry on like this
Everyone wore a tie!
You were in trouble
if you didn't
Now I wouldn't be surprised
if they soaked their feet...
...while playing.
We had a strict rule
Whoever went flat
or missed his cue
...had to play standing
For the length of
the entire concert
...as punishment
What? Sessions? Hour shifts?
...you worked all night
Ah, how often I had to wait
till dawn
And the musicians, at dawn,
dead tired...
...would applaud
the conductor
...and thank him
Oh, he was phenomenal
...he conducted with eyes
closed, as if in a trance
...and yet saw everything.
How?...
When he had to give a player
a calling down
...he could find words
that would skin him alive
And make him ill for a month
And with his baton?
Such lashings...
...on the hands and fingers
of those players
who made a mistake
It would hiss!
Yet, you know something?
They were happy
...for those hand raps
They'd come up like
school children
...hands held out and say:
"My fault"
"Hit me too... Me too,
I was wrong"
Those were the days!
You see what he's doing?
TAKE YOUR STICK AND
CONDUCT MY PRICK
You think that's right?
Maybe now it's right
No one knows anymore
Maestro, there are...
What else you want to know?
I ask you: does music exist?
No?
Then the world doesn't exist.
Only our habits do
You may go...
What meaning
has music today?
You think people know
what music is?
They consider themselves
intelligent because they feel
...emotion in the gut.
They're participating
Beethoven makes them feel
like knights in armor
Some seem to be jumping out
of their seats
When I'm conducting, I'm
always feeling ridiculous
As if dead. I feel
like a ghost
Better I don't say these
things. Cancel it!
Today nothing is forgiven.
One must be...
...always intelligent
So let us say: music is...
...the world
When I conduct I own
the world.
I am a king
You want to know really
how I feel?
Like a sergeant who
must go kicking...
...everybody in the ass
But absurd laws forbid me...
...to be a sergeant
Certainly we have taken
advantage of
our privileged positions
Excuse me...
Ach, warm as usual
...no ice
Talent is the child of whims
and eccentricity
I once asked a musician
to remove his ring
...the twinkling of the stone
bothered me
And this seemed a caprice,
the whim of a divo
That may even be
But an exuberant character
for an artist
...is a vital charge
...for leading others,
for interpreting symphonies
Prosit
But now this unique charge
of the conductor
is being contested
The musicians?...
...don't look at them,
don't see them
Sometimes they have
unbearable face
I'd put...
...a screen in front
of some of them
They're like wild dogs
With wild eyes... No!
Better cancel that too
...or they shoot my legs
The time of greatness
is "Kaputt"
I remember the first time
I took my place at the podium
My first, great impression
was...
...the enormous silence
that fell before me
As I signaled to begin...
...I suddenly realized,
with great emotion,
that my conductor's baton
...was tied to the sound
of the orchestra
Its voice came from within
my hand
It would pull the orchestra
out of silence
...and to silence make
it return
This voice would rise...
...like a sea wave
together with my arm
...moving through the air
like a bird's wing
And when my arm lowered,
this harmonic voice...
...would fade again into
silence
But now everyone is equal,
and I should resemble...
...the first violinist
with his butcher's hands
So I have fits of rage
And buy houses
Two in America
One in Tokyo, in London,
and Berlin...
In Paris, no houses.
That's because...
I do not go along with
the music of France
That's why, maybe,
the Customs at Orly...
...is always frisking me
...from head to foot
You have your interview?
That's enough
You say "the conductor"
but this word...
...has no meaning anymore
A true conductor is like
a priest
He must have a church...
with believers
...but when the faithful
all become
...atheists...
I remember Koplensky
my great maestro
...I was first violinist
When he took the podium,
everything was silence
He would only look around...
...distractedly.
But he already knew
...every line of the score
in front of him
He was music personified
And we followed him happily,
with absolute reverence
To enact the rite
of transubstantiation
...to change the wine
into blood...
...the bread into flesh...
You laugh?
...I hope not
Music is always sacred
Every concert is a Mass
We were enthralled,
and we...
...would forget
all worries...
...at the first sign
of his baton
...We were but one breath,
we and our instruments
...a single vital force
He would begin!
Nothing was more beautiful
than his authority
We trembled...
...at the thought
...of a mistake
in performing this rite
An overwhelming emotion
...an immense happiness
We could feel...
...our joy transmitting
itself
...to the audience, which was
immobile, holding its breath
We didn't watch the conductor
it wasn't necessary
He was there, and we knew it
...we felt it
He was... within us
...so much love passed
between him and us
A love which you can see...
...is now lost
I and my musicians only feel
diffidence for each other
The doubting...
...which destroys belief
And then there's a lack
of respect
There's resentment. Because
something has been lost
...never to be found
That's how we play together
United by a mutual hatred
...like a family in ruin
Maestro, the lights have
gone out
I know
What now?
The break is over,
we rehearse!
Go ahead, walk.
Light my way
"Conductor, conductor..."
"Conductor, no more!"
"You'll only conduct us
Bowed to the floor"
Claudio... you gotta
do something
Now, the other eye!
Boys, what are you doing?
...listen
"Conductor, conductor...
Conductor, no more"
"You'll only conduct us
Bowed to the floor"
Conductor no more!
No conducting allowed!
We were idiots...
...to study
...to spend a lifetime
in a Conservatory
That's right!
We don't need conductors,
don't need music
Nothing. Just a ring...
...in our nose like savages
Music is a public service.
It belongs to everyone
Without class distinction
Maestro...
...how did this happen?
"Conductor, conductor..."
"Conductor no more"
"You'll only conduct us
Bowed to the floor"
What are you doing?
You're crazy!
How nice...
...you're all sweated...
"Conductor, Conductor..."
What's falling here?
What's happening?
- Worse yet, you're shifty,
and corrupt. You've
been bought
You signed too
I'm reporting you the
Association. Immediately
Down with music power!
Down with assembly line
music!
It's gotta stop!
Stop!
Take a look, what's
on my head?
Let me taste
What is it you want?
Moron, it's raining!
I'll not be insulted!
What's he doing?
Look at how one can
ruin his life...
Again...
Another?
Down with the baton!
Music belongs to us!
You don't exist! Who is he?
I ask you, who is he?
He doesn't exist. And if
he does, he shouldn't!
There's blood. Wretches!
Madmen!
"You're fucked,
you're through"
"It's all over for you"
May I sit down for
the interview?
I was first aware
of the harp...
...in a dream.
I was very little
I didn't know what
to think...
...of that small gold cage
One day, in a book...
...I saw Nero, and Rome
that was burning
...and the instrument
I had dreamt
And then in a perfumed
calendar there was...
...an angel flying and
he played the same harp...
...of my dreams
The harp!
For me it's a human presence
I couldn't live in a house
without a 60 harp
I'd never fall asleep
if I didn't know...
...it was nearby in
the next room
At times hands seem
to run across it
I hear it play
...it could be the wind
The harp is my very life
Not only for what
I have earned
...but it's my refuge
...my friend
I've always lived alone.
No men
No one
...only the harp
We confide, we talk...
...it answers me,
I receive sensations
...fantasies... an
overwhelming sense of joy
...and of sadness
Mostly, it gives one...
...faith
You become aware...
...that other
dimensions exist
A child once asked:
"Where does music go
when it's over?"
...only a child could
ask that
"Orchestra - terror
Conductor - death"
"Orchestra - terror
Conductor - death"
"Orchestra - terror
Who plays is a traitor"
Here's our new conductor!
Long live the Metronome!
"Metronome metronomous...
Musicians - autonomous"
"Musicians at last
freed from the past"
Down with the metronome.
We'll establish...
...the tempo, the rhythm,
the cadence
We've had enough
of their music
...it's degrading!
We play it, we'll create it,
we'll manage it
I'll not...
...be directed by anyone!
Death!
...to the metronome!
Idiot! Give me that gun
...gimme
You're hurting me.
I have a permit
Look in my wallet
All right let's see it
...in his name
A regular firearm permit
Get up...
A Smith & Wesson!
Look up there... up there!
Look!
Everything's...
...crumbling!
Help me...
Help me...
Oh, why?
...you are here...
...and I'm here...
Everyone must give undivided
attention to his instrument
...that is all we can do now
Somebody can help me?
...please
The notes are saving us
Music saves us
Hang on to the notes
Follow the notes
...one after the other...
In the way my hand...
...can indicate
We are musicians...
You are musicians...
...and we're here
...to rehearse
Have no fear.
The rehearsal continues
To your places!
In place, please
...thank you...
You must do less coloring
with sounds
Noise is not music
Not a trolley car,
I heard pots and pans
Where are we?
...one a soccer field?
You think I'm an umpire?
And where has
the brass gone?
What's happened to
your little lungs?
Where is all your breath?
...used it for
stupid chatter?
Sustain the notes!
Gentlemen... DA CAPO!