Opération Portugal (2021) - full transcript
Hakim, 35, a friendly neighborhood cop from Morocco, must infiltrate the Portuguese community for the purpose of an investigation. But can one become Portuguese in three days? Especially when we know that Hakim is a walking disaster at undercover operations. His clumsiness and bad luck turn his many infiltration's into cataclysms. The case is clearly too big for him. Quickly trapped between his feelings and his mission, Hakim, who lives alone with his mother, will discover a community, but also a family.
Hello.
Hello, Mr. Hakim.
Hello, Mrs. Leroux.
Hello, Mr. Hakim.
Mr. Ben Mrad.
Mr. Hakim!
-How's things?
-Great.
Are the kids hassling you?
Not since you talked to them.
Thanks, Mr. Hakim.
-We're lucky to have you.
-Oh, no.
I'm just doing my job, you know.
Calling all units.
Holdup in the sector!
26 Missonnier Street.
Police!
Holdup on Missonnier Street!
Police! Holdup on Missonnier Street!
Hakim to headquarters. I see them!
Hakim! This is your captain.
Do not intervene, Hakim.
Hide. That's an order!
I have eyes on them.
Hakim?
Hakim!
They're leaving.
What do I do?
Screw it.
Police! Don't move!
Idiot!
The handle's frozen.
I'm gonna pee on the handle.
Come on, Hakim.
Don't open!
Move aside!
You in pain?
Yes, a little.
Yeah, me too.
Because the chief of police
is asking how one of my men
got his dick stuck to a truck door!
Captain, what exactly happened?
Get these journalists out of here!
What are we waiting for?
We need heat
to defrost it all at once.
Let me through! I have a hairdryer.
Let the hairdryer through.
Police! Don't move.
-What's brewing?
-A tajine.
-What kind?
-Chicken.
-With olives?
-Yes, my son's favorite.
My darling son.
Are they clean?
Go wash your hands right now.
-What's wrong?
-It stings.
I told your dad
not to circumcise you by himself.
He never listens. I'll call Dr. Truong.
I can't. Shit, it hurts.
Hakim.
Yes?
Mom, stop taking all that medication.
I have bronchitis,
I have arthritis, I have cellulite...
Dr. Truong said,
"Aïcha, eat less and exercise."
He's right.
You should sign up at my gym.
I chatted with the neighbor.
They're hiring at the post office.
They have good wages, vacation leave,
and it's close to home.
I'm a cop, not a postman.
The police is killing me.
I have ulcers from head to toe.
-Mom, stop.
-I know why you do this.
To be like your father.
See, Ahmed?
Even dead, you're a pain.
That's enough!
What do you want?
To die like him on the job?
He wasn't even on duty that day!
Maybe he'd be proud of me.
Mom?
I'm suffocating. My asthma spray.
I know you'll abandon me.
I'll die all alone.
-I know I will.
-Mom.
I'll never abandon you.
Say "I swear."
I swear.
Say "I swear before God."
I swear before God.
I made pastries for you.
Hello, Dr. Truong.
-How nice to see you!
-It smells good.
Let me guess. You made couscous?
No, tajine.
Oh, I see.
So, what's the problem?
What happened?
It's a long story. Let's say a bad chill.
I've never seen anything like this.
It looks like a nitrogen burn.
It looks like meat
that defrosted too fast.
Mom, please.
I'm your mother,
I know your weenie by heart.
Does that hurt?
Not at all.
I haven't been able to pee since.
-Barely a few drops.
-That's normal.
When it felt the cold,
it got scared and retracted.
Your bladder shut down the tubes.
He'll be able to have children?
Aïcha...
Of course he will.
Dr. Truong!
-For you.
-What is it?
Puff pastry filled with meat.
Delicious.
What's the scar right below?
That's from the circumcision.
It got messy.
Mom, please. I'm right here.
It happens.
POLICE STATION
Do you know this man?
-Hakim!
-Yes, captain?
Gentlemen, sit down.
Colonel Faillancier, head of Interpol.
Here's the deal.
We're onto
a bigtime cocaine trafficker.
The Colombians
have started mixing coke in dry cement.
It's undetectable
and can be transported
-totally incognito.
-Smart guys.
We don't care about the Colombians.
We want the bosses in France
who push the drug.
Our agents in Colombia
placed GPS trackers on cement bags.
They arrived at this worksite,
where the signals stopped.
The De Almeida family,
whom we suspect
of running this huge organization.
-The a.c. is on.
-No, I don't think so.
Yes, it is. I know because...
I wheeze.
See?
-Asthma spray.
-I forgot it.
I have some, my mom's like you.
She has a senior position too?
No, she's always sick.
Or occasionally.
She uses it under her arms.
Carrying on.
The family has two members.
The daughter, Julia.
The father, José.
Hospitalized after a gangland dispute.
The mother is dead.
Our wiretaps revealed that the family
is bringing in
a distant cousin from Ansiães.
Whatever.
A godforsaken place in Portugal.
By chance, they've never seen him.
He spends summers
as a voluntary fireman putting out fires.
This cousin...
is him: Joaquim.
He looks like me
dressed as a Gipsy King.
Tell me
you're not thinking that.
-Yes.
-No.
Yes. We searched the police's files.
He's the closest match.
Patrolman Hakim Dhouieb
will infiltrate the De Almeidas.
Me, infiltrate?
We have six days
to make you into a real Portuguese.
Okay, then. Gentlemen, ma'am.
It was a pleasure.
I'll leave you to it.
-Congratulations.
-Thanks, sir.
Sit down.
It's fantastic, you deserve it.
Sit!
He's your man, you're in charge.
You will liaise between
Hakim and us.
Please, not that.
He fails, so do you.
Turn the worksite
and their home upside down,
I want the drugs.
France is counting on you.
Excuse me.
-What's the mission name?
-How's that?
Its code name.
Who cares. Call it what you want.
"Operation Portugal."
"Operation" for operation.
"Portugal" for the Portuguese.
"Operation Portugal."
I should've been a chef.
I'll be working for Interpol.
This will be pure hell.
You'll be proud of me, Dad.
What's that suitcase?
It was Dad's
when he left on mission.
Agents Baumard and Chabin
will follow you day and night.
We brought in our best Portuguese agent.
Agent Gonçalves.
The best.
-What you name?
-Excuse me?
What you name?
Patrolman Hakim Dhouieb
from Epinay-sur-Seine.
What's that ugly suitcase?
It was my dad's.
You wanna be Portuguese?
I need to infiltrate a worksite...
Shut up.
You name no Hakim.
You name, "Jou-you-quim."
Okay?
-Okay, okay?
-Yes.
This won't be easy.
No, this won't be easy.
Not easy.
I'm going to make you
into a real Portuguese.
This is pastéis de nata.
Delicately.
Taste.
Nice?
Custard tart.
No, not custard tart.
It's a pastel de nata.
Custard.
No, it's not the same.
It's not custard.
It's a pastel de nata.
Yeah, it's a...
mini custard...
It's not custard!
It's pastel de nata!
A 200-year-old recipe!
It's a national treasure.
Not mini custard!
Okay, 50 knee squats.
It's your hometown, say it right!
That's shit.
Come on, I said!
-Say "thank you."
-Obrigada.
Obrigado! You're not a girl.
Not a girl.
50 more "squatch."
Squash?
50 more "squatch."
I'll go get my racket.
He's a total moron.
He's a moron.
-Portugal! Portugal!
-Stop, stop.
"Pour-tou-gal."
Not Portugal. "Pour-tou-gal."
Harder! What do Portuguese do
on Sunday mornings?
-Go to church.
-First they light the BBQ.
So the embers will be ready.
-What's this?
-A helicopter.
No, a "houloucouptere."
Hurrah, good job!
-The best fish in the world?
-Cod.
Bacalhau! Come on!
Magellan.
Explorer.
Cristiano Ronaldo.
Soccer player.
That's enough.
Goalie?
To arms,
to arms!
Over the land, over the sea!
"To arms" is easy.
It's the "over the sea" I don't get.
We have a problem.
He's arriving sooner by car.
Gentlemen.
Change in plans,
you leave in one hour.
I can't be ready in one hour.
Look me in eyes.
In the eyes.
In the eyes.
Listen to me.
Playing Portuguese is over.
You are Portuguese.
I'll be the best.
The best Portuguese guy ever.
You'll be proud of me!
I am proud of you.
You have no accent?
No. I mean, yes.
Here's the thing...
It's my parents who immigrated.
I'm the second generation.
I grew up in the suburbs.
I did that to train you.
I have to say,
I had a great time with you.
It's a first in my career.
I don't usually kiss, but for you...
Força, as we say.
Chin up, soldier.
Long live France.
Long live Portugal.
I'm gonna go because...
I hate goodbyes.
All I can say is obrigado.
Obrigada, obrigado.
And "houloucouptere."
Now we have something.
-You sure?
-Yes.
-Joaquim Da Silva?
-Yes.
Get out of the car.
Turn around.
I don't speak French!
He drove all that way in a Renault 5?
-You're under arrest.
-What for?
What for?
Sausage trafficking!
I don't speak French!
I won't let you down.
Operation Portugal.
He'll never manage.
What?
Nothing.
Hello, Joaquim, how are you?
Fine. Everything's fine.
Good trip?
First off,
I came to France to speak French.
I speak Portuguese all year long.
Okay...
Let's say hi to Dad.
Of course. Obrigado.
France is a nice place.
I like it a lot.
Who's she?
Avó Lena, my grandmother.
Oh, yeah. She wasn't in my files.
He's counting on you at the site.
Yes, of course.
Obrigado.
We're way behind schedule.
Yes, of course.
Obrigado.
Julia is too young to be in charge.
And she's a girl.
We should let him sleep.
He's sedated.
Good night, Dad.
Good night, Daddy.
I don't think your grandma likes me.
She's mistrustful, like me.
Here's your room.
There's no bed.
Like you wanted.
"No bed or heating, like in Ansiães."
There was no bed
or heating in this room?
Sure, but we took it out.
Right. Like I wanted.
"No bed or heating.
Like in Ansiães."
Okay, good night.
I'm gonna die. I know I'll die.
Jesus.
Wake up, Joaquim!
You, you and you.
You others can try tomorrow.
They're illegal workers.
-You the police?
-No, I'm Portuguese.
Not the police.
Wow, this is some worksite.
So, where do I start?
Knock it off. You're the boss.
The boss of the whole site?
That's why we brought you here.
Here. The boss's hat.
Boss!
-Hi, boss.
-What'd you say?
-"Hi, boss."
-Say it again.
Boss.
Again.
Boss?
That's right, I'm the boss.
Can we lay the power cables now?
Yes, that's right.
Lay the power cables.
Thanks, boss.
Lay the cables, boys!
We're not home yet.
We'll die of boredom.
Hope he finds the coke fast.
-Hope he finds the coke fast.
-You bet.
I'm tasting the quality
and the texture.
That's how we do it in Portugal.
This one's nice,
maybe just a little flat.
But it's a good year.
Okay, I have work.
-Boss.
-Yeah?
We got a problem.
The door can't go
next to the IPN beams.
IPN beams are serious.
No mistakes allowed.
Because the IPNs...
The blueprint is upside down.
I know that.
It was drawn upside down.
No, just turn it around.
I know my job.
It was drawn upside down.
You can't work
with backward blueprints.
Everything's upside down here.
The site, the country...
And my job
is to straighten things up.
Have you got that?
Where does the door go?
There.
It's good there. Directly opposite.
Opposite what? It'll open onto nothing.
Who's the boss here?
You or me?
What am I?
The boss.
That's right.
Who am I?
The boss.
What am I?
The boss.
So stop drawing upside down blueprints.
We'll never get done like this.
It'll open onto empty space.
It's hot.
You're a sissy, Baumard.
-I'm a sissy?
-Bet you can't drink it down.
Coffee, Chabin?
A double.
Listen, I don't want to hear it!
Delivery is scheduled for tomorrow,
end of story!
It's coming.
Open up! I haven't peed in a week!
Get lost, it's occupied.
-Is he...
-No, no.
Don't say anything.
It's for the cement.
Like in Ansiães.
Bet you can't.
You're crying.
No.
Yes, you are.
I got something in my eye.
I scratched it with this thing.
Wake up, Joaquim!
Where's the coke, damn it!
-We always did it this way.
-It's not my problem.
I said, we need you!
-What's going on?
-He won't work the cement mixer.
I'm an electrician, not a builder.
You shit!
Claude, stop!
Why should I?
Arabs never do what you ask!
And all you do is give orders!
Stop!
Break it up!
Let go of me, idiot!
The idiot is your boss!
So shut up!
Shit!
You speak Arabic?
Yes, I speak Arabic.
I worked one month in Marrakech.
Arabic's easy.
It's like Portuguese, only it's Arabic.
He's got talent.
Two years in Italy,
I could barely order pizza.
My dad's not here,
but the rules are the same!
There's a building to finish.
We need to
work as a team... and make an effort.
Sorry.
Hakim?
I'm suffocating.
I can't breathe.
There.
Mom?
-Stop it, Mom.
-So I'm still your mom?
I'm still your mom?
You don't answer the phone.
You don't sleep at home.
You only come when I'm sick.
Well, I'm not sick!
-A girlfriend?
-No.
You're gay?
No!
So what's wrong?
I'm on an important investigation,
so back off!
Back off?
Back off.
Is that how you talk to me?
Your mother?
Look me in the eye.
Go wash your hands right now.
Then you sit down and eat!
It's a top-secret mission.
Top-secret, my eye.
You don't keep secrets from your mother.
-You expecting someone?
-No.
Hello, ma'am. Is Hakim here?
What do you want? Who are you?
I'm his captain,
so get him for me and fast!
And fast?
Is that how you talk to me?
Look me in the eye.
Go wash your hands right now!
Enjoy your meal.
Thank you, ma'am.
We have a mission
and you come home to eat.
-She had an asthma attack.
-I don't care.
Have you found anything?
No coke, no money.
They're smart.
But don't ease up on the pressure.
Now, that's interesting.
Pickled lemon?
No idea.
Yes, it's pickled.
Anyway,
keep close watch on Julia.
Shadow her 24/7 and make her talk.
How?
How should I know?
Become her confidant or seduce her.
I can seduce her, captain?
You ever seduced a woman?
Yes.
Go on.
Show me your fiery eyes.
No, wait.
Look.
Seduced?
Good. Now you.
Don't purse your lips.
Your eyes...
Open them wider.
No, you look sick.
We'll have to make do.
What did I just eat?
A chili pepper.
Hello, Julia.
Where were you, at lunch?
I had a minor medical emergency.
Asthma.
Tell me, Julia.
Don't you think it's hot?
No, it's cool.
It's cool, then hot.
Can't tell anymore with global warming.
But me...
I'm hot, Julia.
Why are your eyes all screwed up?
What? No, that's...
It's conjunctivitis.
My eyes screw up
from the dust on the worksite.
It makes your eyes sting.
Then you squint.
I'll get back to work.
I think it's best.
33.
34.
35.
36.
-How many did you do?
-38.
I'll beat your ass.
And Roucariès?
52.
A living legend.
38.
39!
You lost!
I'm going for Roucariès.
40! 46!
No, 42.
We'll meet halfway: 44.
It stings.
Wow, that's a V8.
4.8 liters, 400 HP.
What a handsome guy.
No, he isn't?
Sure.
He's got a gun!
I'm tired of your excuses.
One house should've been finished
6 months ago.
What did you do?
He's the developer!
He had a gun.
Shit.
It wasn't a gun.
It's hand gel.
Oh, my God.
I thought it was a gun
and that he wanted to attack you.
What happened?
Did I fall?
Yes, during your inspection.
Right, guys?
Like you were hit with a...
You had a good fall.
In glass wool.
That too?
That's no good, I'm allergic.
Here.
Late delivery penalties.
Get moving, or you'll have more.
We have six houses to build
and not one is up!
I wasn't hit with a shovel?
No!
I heard "ping"
and everything went black.
-Do you swear?
-Yes!
I believe you.
The exit's that way?
Then say so!
I'm sorry, Julia.
Don't talk to me.
Okay, day's over.
I know why you're out of control.
-You're homesick.
-No.
Yes.
Maybe.
Good evening.
Tonight is the night
you've been waiting four years for!
I didn't make much,
Carlos didn't warn me.
-Have some salami.
-I'm good.
Have some salami!
We're gonna lose.
GO FRANCE!
Has it started?
Are they playing?
Come on, Umtiti!
N'Golo Kanté!
-Who's Umtiti?
-He plays against...
With us but against you.
No, against us.
That's it, he's against us.
Go Portugal!
No one beats Portugal.
Don't need a World Cup to know that.
There's no hope for shit.
Come on, Giroud.
I don't believe it! He's shit!
Shit!
On your feet, if you're Portuguese!
On your feet, if you're Portuguese!
On your feet, Joaquim.
My knee hurts.
Shit.
Oh, sorry, sorry!
-I'll turn this off.
-Yeah, so he can't bother us.
Jackass.
-It was this close.
-Ronaldo did it again.
Portuguese Delicacies.
1-0.
But it's enough to win.
Good salami, huh?
We won!
-Come sit with us, Julia.
-No.
Come on.
I'm not in the mood. Leave me alone.
Joaquim,
I was against you coming.
I could've supervised the site.
I'm up every day at 5:00 a.m.
I know my job inside out.
I should've been the boss.
It's coming.
-What?
-The baby.
-Call the fire department!
-It's too late.
-Why are you looking at me?
-You're a bombeiro.
-"Bombe" what?
-Bombeiro!
You're a fireman.
-Oh, no. No way.
-Yes!
Fernando, no. Stop right there.
Stop? You're a fireman!
I take care of fires,
floods and tsunamis... Not that!
Deliver my baby, damn it!
Let her breathe.
It'll be fine.
Watch out for the table! Get a mop!
Everything will be fine.
What are you doing, boss?
Breathing.
-Not her?
-Yes, but me too.
No worries, I'm the bombeiro.
Keep going!
What?
Oh, my God.
-A problem?
-No, not at all.
Get that baby out!
Okay, I'm ready.
Breathe!
Breathe!
Not you, her!
He's just hyperventilating.
-Take care of me!
-Let's go.
Push, block, push!
It hurts!
Push, block!
We'll never make it.
Shut your face!
-She's not herself.
-Shut up!
It hurts!
Don't worry.
Me too.
Come on, Madalena.
Block, push.
Push!
-Push!
-I can't!
Look me in the eyes.
No, in the eyes.
We're gonna get the baby out.
But I need your trust.
Okay?
-Okay, okay?
-Yes!
Guys, I need your help.
Do anything, but motivate her!
All together, let's go!
Let's go, Portugal!
Let's go, Portugal!
The head is coming!
We're almost there! Louder!
It's coming. Good work, Madalena.
That's it!
That's it, here he is.
It's a boy.
Thank you.
Congratulations.
We'll name him Joaquim.
Nice name.
Thanks.
Give me a hug, guys.
Julia, we'll make up the time.
Guys, let's do it double quick.
Good tea?
Yeah, not bad.
You're drinking hot water.
Hi there.
-Having fun?
-You scared me!
Is this a cocaine mission
or a love boat?
-Why are you here?
-Faillancier is putting on the heat.
-She wants proof, and now.
-What can I do?
Think! For starters,
go nose around the office.
It's empty. Action!
-Yes, captain!
-Don't call me that!
I'm sorry, captain.
Hey, Baldy!
Take the wheelbarrow over there.
I'm coming.
Hello, Mom. I can't talk now.
I haven't heard from you in ages.
I'm worried, and in my state...
-What state?
-My back.
I'm sure it's lumbago cancer.
I haven't had an exam in two months.
Hakim,
please come home. I made pastries.
I'll call you back.
I've lost my touch.
He delivered the baby all alone.
He was heroic.
Carlos, I'm snowed under.
Can we talk about this later?
It's not his fault. He just took the job
your dad offered him.
We're like family.
We grew up together.
Can I be frank?
I don't recognize you.
Nothing interests you but work.
It's been tough since your mom died.
But she'd hate to see you so sad.
You're right.
I'll try to relax.
I miss you so much,
I love you
-That wasn't my dad's pocket?
-Yes.
-No.
-Yes.
Your dad's a man.
We all need the same thing.
I meant love.
Not a word to anyone.
Challans duck breast
with reduced red wine sauce...
Me Kraczyk.
Kraczyk me.
Me Polak.
I'm starving. What's for lunch?
Pig's trotters. It's ready, boss.
Nah, I've got a stitch in the side.
-Want to taste?
-No, I only eat pork.
We Portuguese only eat pork.
You sure?
To make you happy, Mohamed.
Only to make you happy.
This is no good.
Really no good.
No good at all!
It's worse than pork.
Some more, please.
Here.
It's really no good.
I'm tasting to make you happy.
You Arabs.
-What's that?
-Pastries.
I'll taste.
Even if it's not good.
-What's it called?
-Chebakia.
Chebakia.
I've had this before.
No good. No good at all.
-Who made this bad pastry?
-My wife.
Tell your wife...
that this... is really no good.
But good job!
What a great guy.
He didn't like it, but he ate everything.
You okay, boss?
That's the toilets.
I know,
I'm making holes in the toilets.
When you take a poo, it stinks.
-Yeah.
-So you need holes.
For fresh air.
I want holes everywhere,
like Swiss cheese.
We tend to forget, toilets need air.
What are you doing, Baldy?
I'm hooking up cables.
-You okay?
-Yeah.
Thanks.
You saved my life, brother.
That's him!
He electrocuted Mohamed.
Him?
No, not him.
-Yes, it was.
-No.
I saw him.
He saw him.
You there!
What's this?
That's not nice.
You can't just electrocute people.
I'm super upset.
There.
I laid into him.
Usually it's a kick in the ass.
He's right.
It's the price to pay.
No.
No.
Come on.
He'll never do it.
Sure he will.
Let him go.
Let him go! I'm the boss!
Stand back.
Please turn around, captain.
What'll you do?
Kick you in the ass.
You can't do that, Hakim.
I'm your captain.
I have to.
-Where you going?
-I need to run up.
It'll be fine.
That was too much.
This is pure hell.
Bye, boss.
-See you tomorrow.
-Sure, obrigado.
I'm organizing a May 13 party.
I'd be happy if you came.
-You're inviting me?
-I have a present for you.
Salami. My dad makes it.
You shouldn't have.
Yes.
-No.
-It's close to your heart.
-The smell of Portugal.
-Of Portugal?
PORTUGUESE EVENING
I know what you're feeling.
You do your best and it all goes sour.
But that's okay.
Don't give up. Believe in yourself.
Be strong, Julia.
I'm sure you'll succeed.
You know what?
When I'm down,
I have something that never fails.
Let out everything inside.
Go on, hit.
I'm fed up.
Harder.
I'm fed up.
Harder.
-I'm sick of work and responsibilities!
-Good.
-Sick of no one respecting me!
-Let it out!
Sick of worrying about my dad!
More.
Sick of problems!
Sick of all those sexists.
No holds barred.
Hit!
Sick of you making things worse
when you came to help!
-Easy.
-Your incompetence
and stupidity!
You've got to be a moron
to piss in the cement!
The bitch.
I'm sorry, Joaquim.
Salsa class!
Hello, ma'am.
I'd like to sign up for the gym.
Dr. Truong told me, "Aïcha,
exercise is good for your health."
-Want me to show you around?
-Sure.
-It stinks.
-Sports smell strong, ma'am.
Forward!
And back!
Circle to the right!
Move the shoulders!
A step to the side!
-I didn't know you liked salsa.
-Me either.
It must not be easy to keep clean.
That's our salsa room.
I'll do salsa right now.
Choose your partner!
Hello.
My name is Aïcha.
But my friends call me...
Aïcha too.
I've seen you somewhere.
No.
It's incredible.
You look just like my husband young.
Thanks.
Change partners!
Julia.
It's funny, she looks familiar.
Calm down, ma'am.
She seems to like you.
I know!
My father's mistress!
Yes, I saw her on his phone.
Change partners.
Hug me. Dance with me.
-Your hubby?
-No, a distant cousin.
Is he single?
Yes.
Time to change partners!
You like Moroccan cooking?
I feel funny.
My heart is trembling
like the ocean tide at night.
Change partners!
Forward!
-What's wrong?
-Shit, stop scaring me!
Hey, I'm still your boss.
Sorry, captain.
Any intel?
-She's starting to trust me.
-Very good.
-Where is she?
-Taking a shower.
-Hurry up, go search her purse.
-Yes, sir!
Give me the soap.
What are you doing?
I wanted to talk to you
and I saw your mother's picture.
I wanted to thank you.
No one's taken care of me
in a long time.
It's only normal.
When Mom passed away,
Dad was desperate.
She was more than his wife,
she was his equilibrium.
So... I tried to compensate.
I quit my job
and I moved back home
to fill the void.
I do my best, but it's not easy.
I'm there for everyone.
For Dad, for the company,
for the workers.
And so, I put my life on hold.
Mine's on hold too.
Because of my mother.
She's a hypochondriac,
depressive and even suicidal.
-She is?
-Yes.
Since my father died.
Uncle Augusto died?
What happened?
He was in great shape last summer.
What happened?
He caught chickenpox.
Chickenpox?
A raging case.
One morning,
he had little spots and that night,
no more Augusto!
Done. We're fragile creatures.
Poor thing,
that's why you're scatterbrained.
That's why I'm scatterbrained.
That's why.
Damned chickenpox!
I'm so sorry.
Don't tell Dad, he couldn't take it.
Hold me tight.
I'm so sad.
Tighter.
A little more.
More.
That's good.
So good.
I'm sorry.
What did you want to ask me?
I wanted to know
where you buy your cement.
It's very good quality.
No, it's not important.
It doesn't matter.
Good night, Joaquim.
Good night.
Well?
A drink?
Aguardente from Portugal.
What?
Aguardente.
Here goes.
No.
Never on the job. Never!
I don't know why,
but I don't trust that Joaquim.
Grandma!
You can't say no,
it's my grandfather's.
Can't say no.
It's his grandfather's.
-Obrigado.
-Bottoms up!
And a second.
We should go easy.
What's in that?
Grapes.
BRAZILIAN WAXING
Hello, ma'am.
What's he doing?
His feet must be warm.
Dear parishioners,
on this May 13,
we celebrate Fátima...
What's he doing?
Counting fingers.
...the Father,
the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
You may sit.
As Saint Paul said,
my brothers...
A real pro.
He's checking the tiles.
What if we sang?
A little song?
Wanna sing?
Let's sing!
Stand!
Stay as you are, you're fabulous.
First off, I wish to greet
the Portuguese community,
who help preserve our church.
Namely
our benefactor,
José de Almeida!
You can recognize him by his arms.
Wonderful.
Thank you, José.
I have tears in my eyes.
José's a swell guy.
We have with us
a believer who performed a heroic feat.
He delivered a baby by himself.
Straight from Portugal!
Let's hear applause!
Make some noise for Joaquim!
Go on.
Have you ever noticed?
-That guy...
-Yes, Jesus Christ.
-He's Portuguese.
-No.
Yes.
-Yes, he is.
-No.
His dad was a carpenter.
A builder, like the Portuguese!
What do Portuguese serve their guests?
Porto wine. Like Jesus Christ!
We Portuguese are the best!
Yeah!
The Chinese took 200 years
to build a wall.
A Portuguese
would've done it in two weeks.
The pyramids,
with those funny pharaohs...
Nothing but rock.
A Portuguese
would've put a skylight for fresh air!
Put a Portuguese on Survivor,
he'd win for sure!
No need for huts.
He'd make cement
with sand and water and build
your house!
That's all, folks, that was Joaquim!
He's saying mass.
Not in Latin. Portuguese, ma'am.
I haven't seen Dad like that in ages.
He hasn't laughed since Mom died.
Thank you.
No, thank you.
Come on, it's time to party!
Party time!
-It's time to what?
-Party!
What's Baldy doing here?
-Who invited him?
-Claude.
To apologize
for the kick in the ass.
What the hell?
Calm down, I was invited.
It's not them, sir.
They're not drug traffickers.
They're good people.
Look.
You know what?
I've never been so happy.
Hakim, stop right now!
Keep your eyes open.
-What's this?
-Bacalhau.
With cod?
Of course.
Of course.
Bravo, Dad.
I see you waste no time.
You invited your mistress?
Yes, you did.
She didn't come on her own.
Chabin?
Bet you wouldn't set off a flashbang.
You wanna see?
My little Baumard!
Chabin!
My little birdie.
Liar!
Liar.
He's a liar.
He's hiding something from us.
Whoever you are,
I know you're not Portuguese.
Stop, Grandma.
Of course he's Portuguese.
Tell her you're Portuguese.
Tell her!
Tell her!
To arms,
to arms!
Over the land,
over the sea.
To arms,
to arms!
To fight
for our Fatherland!
Against the cannons,
march...
march!
Captain,
you stun-gunned my mom!
-What's she doing here?
-She's in love with me.
Go back in, I'll take care of her.
This is pure hell.
I need to tell you something.
Don't say a word.
Listen.
The lyrics are beautiful.
You know, Julia...
I'm not the man you think.
I know, Joaquim.
You're different.
We searched your house.
We found this.
What's this dough?
For the last time,
I don't speak your language.
In French.
Old nanny goat!
You want to see your son grow up?
Forget it.
Because unless you talk,
I'll lock you up.
Okay.
-I know where the drugs are.
-Where?
Up your ass.
Guess what.
We had a mole on the worksite.
Hakim!
Meet Hakim Dhouieb,
aka "Joaquim."
That's not Joaquim.
Joaquim would never betray us.
Look me in the eyes.
Look me in the eyes.
You betrayed us.
Betrayed you?
And the money?
It's Avó Lena's lifetime savings.
It was to bail out the company.
If we went under,
my father would've died twice.
That's what the money is.
Has the dago finished?
Don't talk to her like that.
Who are you? Just a pawn.
You're pitiful.
Don't speak
to my men or them like that!
You're just a small-time cop.
Perhaps, but I know the law.
You have nothing
and they've been in custody 48 hours.
So please release them,
Mrs. Faillancier.
You can start packing up.
You're fired, as of now!
Out of my sight.
Let them go.
Mr. Hakim, how are you?
Ahmed.
I have something
very serious to tell you.
I fell in love with someone.
I don't understand.
I don't know.
I think I had love at first sight.
But don't worry, it's all over.
I can see clearly again.
I never want to see him again.
Forgive me.
You'll always be the love
of my entire life.
I'm tasting the quality and the texture.
"Cut the truffle in thin slices."
-Captain, it's me.
-I'm not your captain, I was sacked.
Captain,
I'm not sure where the drugs are,
but I know who's boss.
-Meet me on the site.
-De Almeida's?
Yes.
Listen here, Hakim.
There's no site or investigation.
I'm going to hang up
and make truffle eggs. Do the same.
Oh, shit!
It's up to you, Joaquim.
Kraczyk the Pole!
How did you guess?
I brushed my teeth.
My mouth was full of toothpaste.
That's when it hit me!
You weren't looking for cement quality.
You wanted your coke!
But I don't understand.
Why this worksite?
To avoid suspicion,
we used normal transport routes.
Unfortunately, an employee
stuck the wrong label on.
And so,
we received dry cement.
And the De Almeidas...
received my coke.
Kraczyk!
All this because of a wrong label?
All this because your cocaine
had a wrong label stuck on!
Those things happen, Kraczyk.
Sometimes I order things,
but no label stuck.
Or stuck wrong.
Stuck here, stuck there.
Don't move!
Why do you laugh?
That's why I laugh.
Don't hurt her.
I won't hurt her if you tell me
right away
where my fucking coke is!
A people united
will never be defeated!
A people united will never be defeated!
Attack!
Ouch, I'm with you!
Sorry, boss.
I'm the boss, shit.
Kraczyk?
Julia?
Boss!
Saved by pork.
Police, you're under arrest!
It's Baldy, he's with Kraczyk.
No?
Bad move?
I came to press charges.
I was lied to,
betrayed, tricked and used.
My family was harmed.
You writing?
Yes, of course.
I thought I'd found a man
who was sensitive and understanding.
Maybe he had no choice.
Hush, I'm the plaintiff.
The problem is that despite it all...
despite what he did...
I can't get him off my mind.
I'm sorry.
That's for lying to me.
And this is for saving my life.
This is my husband.
-May I?
-Of course you can.
-What are you doing?
-Never know.
-Never know what?
-It saved his life.
Captain!
-Feeling better?
-Yes, it was nothing.
Glad to see you.
Glad to be here.
I'm so proud.
You deserved your medal.
Say, Hakim,
my memories are fuzzy.
-Did I really arrest everyone?
-Barehanded!
Like a lion! It was amazing.
-You're sure?
-Certain.
If you say so, I guess it's true.
-If it was me...
-It was.
It was me.
No need to rewrite history.
It was me.
-Did you hear about Faillancier?
-No.
She was fired.
Let's have a drink, captain.
Colonel!
You forgot your meds.
I don't need them anymore.
I've never breathed easier.
He must be proud of you.
José, tell me,
what happened to you?
I have no recollection.
I only know
I fell down the church steps.
He came to repair a step
and renovated the whole church.
In one day. Right?
It's true.
I've been all fired up ever since!
Right, José?
Incredible, isn't it?
What's done is done.
There.
Let's get a drink.
Two!
No, I won't.
Why not?
I don't understand when you talk.
A problem, ladies?
She wants to put pork in my tajine.
And she wants to put harissa paste
in the cod.
Calm down.
I have an idea.
Apron.
Apron?
Look me in the eye.
Go wash your hands right now!
It's coming!
Here we are,
ladies and gentlemen.
Veal in white sauce!
There's harissa paste if anyone wants.
And sausages too.
Or you can eat it plain.
I'll go eat now.
Avó Lena!
I'm very happy for you two.
However...
as long as I'm alive,
you'll never marry Julia.
You speak French?
Of course I do.
But not a word.
You didn't wait for me?
-Who's the boss?
-You, my son.
Me too, a little.
Hey,
where's the real Joaquim?
Hi, Joaquim.
-You okay?
-Great.
You're going to have a roommate.
Sorry.
Hello, I'm Joaquim.
And you?
A door onto nothing,
ceiling heaters and holes in toilets?
Yes, that's right.
I love it.
It's unstructured, I love it.
But isn't the door dangerous?
No, you just need to lock it.
Of course, how silly of me.
Obrigado.
I love it.
It's the first time in my career
I've seen this.
Here, my girl. You deserve it.
Does that hurt?
Do you know this ass?
Operation Portugal.
Operation Portuguese.
What am I?
That's good.
The boss.
Go wash your hands right now.
I'll do that again
because I forgot a line.
Asthmatic.
Like Darth Vader.
Okay.
Don't you think it's hot?
Keep going!
It's cool, then hot.
Let them go.
With sugar?
-Go make her a coffee.
-What?
Go make her a coffee!
Coffee!
No thanks, I'm good.
A "houloucouptere."
Cut!
52!
53!
Shove it,
Roucariès the legend!
Kiss me, Baumard!
Watch out!
Well?
You look like Chaplin.
Fantastic, he's my father's idol.
No, that won't work.
Look at me.
It won't work.
Should I look at you?
It won't work.
How about from the side?
Subtitles Translated by:
Julie Meyer
Hello, Mr. Hakim.
Hello, Mrs. Leroux.
Hello, Mr. Hakim.
Mr. Ben Mrad.
Mr. Hakim!
-How's things?
-Great.
Are the kids hassling you?
Not since you talked to them.
Thanks, Mr. Hakim.
-We're lucky to have you.
-Oh, no.
I'm just doing my job, you know.
Calling all units.
Holdup in the sector!
26 Missonnier Street.
Police!
Holdup on Missonnier Street!
Police! Holdup on Missonnier Street!
Hakim to headquarters. I see them!
Hakim! This is your captain.
Do not intervene, Hakim.
Hide. That's an order!
I have eyes on them.
Hakim?
Hakim!
They're leaving.
What do I do?
Screw it.
Police! Don't move!
Idiot!
The handle's frozen.
I'm gonna pee on the handle.
Come on, Hakim.
Don't open!
Move aside!
You in pain?
Yes, a little.
Yeah, me too.
Because the chief of police
is asking how one of my men
got his dick stuck to a truck door!
Captain, what exactly happened?
Get these journalists out of here!
What are we waiting for?
We need heat
to defrost it all at once.
Let me through! I have a hairdryer.
Let the hairdryer through.
Police! Don't move.
-What's brewing?
-A tajine.
-What kind?
-Chicken.
-With olives?
-Yes, my son's favorite.
My darling son.
Are they clean?
Go wash your hands right now.
-What's wrong?
-It stings.
I told your dad
not to circumcise you by himself.
He never listens. I'll call Dr. Truong.
I can't. Shit, it hurts.
Hakim.
Yes?
Mom, stop taking all that medication.
I have bronchitis,
I have arthritis, I have cellulite...
Dr. Truong said,
"Aïcha, eat less and exercise."
He's right.
You should sign up at my gym.
I chatted with the neighbor.
They're hiring at the post office.
They have good wages, vacation leave,
and it's close to home.
I'm a cop, not a postman.
The police is killing me.
I have ulcers from head to toe.
-Mom, stop.
-I know why you do this.
To be like your father.
See, Ahmed?
Even dead, you're a pain.
That's enough!
What do you want?
To die like him on the job?
He wasn't even on duty that day!
Maybe he'd be proud of me.
Mom?
I'm suffocating. My asthma spray.
I know you'll abandon me.
I'll die all alone.
-I know I will.
-Mom.
I'll never abandon you.
Say "I swear."
I swear.
Say "I swear before God."
I swear before God.
I made pastries for you.
Hello, Dr. Truong.
-How nice to see you!
-It smells good.
Let me guess. You made couscous?
No, tajine.
Oh, I see.
So, what's the problem?
What happened?
It's a long story. Let's say a bad chill.
I've never seen anything like this.
It looks like a nitrogen burn.
It looks like meat
that defrosted too fast.
Mom, please.
I'm your mother,
I know your weenie by heart.
Does that hurt?
Not at all.
I haven't been able to pee since.
-Barely a few drops.
-That's normal.
When it felt the cold,
it got scared and retracted.
Your bladder shut down the tubes.
He'll be able to have children?
Aïcha...
Of course he will.
Dr. Truong!
-For you.
-What is it?
Puff pastry filled with meat.
Delicious.
What's the scar right below?
That's from the circumcision.
It got messy.
Mom, please. I'm right here.
It happens.
POLICE STATION
Do you know this man?
-Hakim!
-Yes, captain?
Gentlemen, sit down.
Colonel Faillancier, head of Interpol.
Here's the deal.
We're onto
a bigtime cocaine trafficker.
The Colombians
have started mixing coke in dry cement.
It's undetectable
and can be transported
-totally incognito.
-Smart guys.
We don't care about the Colombians.
We want the bosses in France
who push the drug.
Our agents in Colombia
placed GPS trackers on cement bags.
They arrived at this worksite,
where the signals stopped.
The De Almeida family,
whom we suspect
of running this huge organization.
-The a.c. is on.
-No, I don't think so.
Yes, it is. I know because...
I wheeze.
See?
-Asthma spray.
-I forgot it.
I have some, my mom's like you.
She has a senior position too?
No, she's always sick.
Or occasionally.
She uses it under her arms.
Carrying on.
The family has two members.
The daughter, Julia.
The father, José.
Hospitalized after a gangland dispute.
The mother is dead.
Our wiretaps revealed that the family
is bringing in
a distant cousin from Ansiães.
Whatever.
A godforsaken place in Portugal.
By chance, they've never seen him.
He spends summers
as a voluntary fireman putting out fires.
This cousin...
is him: Joaquim.
He looks like me
dressed as a Gipsy King.
Tell me
you're not thinking that.
-Yes.
-No.
Yes. We searched the police's files.
He's the closest match.
Patrolman Hakim Dhouieb
will infiltrate the De Almeidas.
Me, infiltrate?
We have six days
to make you into a real Portuguese.
Okay, then. Gentlemen, ma'am.
It was a pleasure.
I'll leave you to it.
-Congratulations.
-Thanks, sir.
Sit down.
It's fantastic, you deserve it.
Sit!
He's your man, you're in charge.
You will liaise between
Hakim and us.
Please, not that.
He fails, so do you.
Turn the worksite
and their home upside down,
I want the drugs.
France is counting on you.
Excuse me.
-What's the mission name?
-How's that?
Its code name.
Who cares. Call it what you want.
"Operation Portugal."
"Operation" for operation.
"Portugal" for the Portuguese.
"Operation Portugal."
I should've been a chef.
I'll be working for Interpol.
This will be pure hell.
You'll be proud of me, Dad.
What's that suitcase?
It was Dad's
when he left on mission.
Agents Baumard and Chabin
will follow you day and night.
We brought in our best Portuguese agent.
Agent Gonçalves.
The best.
-What you name?
-Excuse me?
What you name?
Patrolman Hakim Dhouieb
from Epinay-sur-Seine.
What's that ugly suitcase?
It was my dad's.
You wanna be Portuguese?
I need to infiltrate a worksite...
Shut up.
You name no Hakim.
You name, "Jou-you-quim."
Okay?
-Okay, okay?
-Yes.
This won't be easy.
No, this won't be easy.
Not easy.
I'm going to make you
into a real Portuguese.
This is pastéis de nata.
Delicately.
Taste.
Nice?
Custard tart.
No, not custard tart.
It's a pastel de nata.
Custard.
No, it's not the same.
It's not custard.
It's a pastel de nata.
Yeah, it's a...
mini custard...
It's not custard!
It's pastel de nata!
A 200-year-old recipe!
It's a national treasure.
Not mini custard!
Okay, 50 knee squats.
It's your hometown, say it right!
That's shit.
Come on, I said!
-Say "thank you."
-Obrigada.
Obrigado! You're not a girl.
Not a girl.
50 more "squatch."
Squash?
50 more "squatch."
I'll go get my racket.
He's a total moron.
He's a moron.
-Portugal! Portugal!
-Stop, stop.
"Pour-tou-gal."
Not Portugal. "Pour-tou-gal."
Harder! What do Portuguese do
on Sunday mornings?
-Go to church.
-First they light the BBQ.
So the embers will be ready.
-What's this?
-A helicopter.
No, a "houloucouptere."
Hurrah, good job!
-The best fish in the world?
-Cod.
Bacalhau! Come on!
Magellan.
Explorer.
Cristiano Ronaldo.
Soccer player.
That's enough.
Goalie?
To arms,
to arms!
Over the land, over the sea!
"To arms" is easy.
It's the "over the sea" I don't get.
We have a problem.
He's arriving sooner by car.
Gentlemen.
Change in plans,
you leave in one hour.
I can't be ready in one hour.
Look me in eyes.
In the eyes.
In the eyes.
Listen to me.
Playing Portuguese is over.
You are Portuguese.
I'll be the best.
The best Portuguese guy ever.
You'll be proud of me!
I am proud of you.
You have no accent?
No. I mean, yes.
Here's the thing...
It's my parents who immigrated.
I'm the second generation.
I grew up in the suburbs.
I did that to train you.
I have to say,
I had a great time with you.
It's a first in my career.
I don't usually kiss, but for you...
Força, as we say.
Chin up, soldier.
Long live France.
Long live Portugal.
I'm gonna go because...
I hate goodbyes.
All I can say is obrigado.
Obrigada, obrigado.
And "houloucouptere."
Now we have something.
-You sure?
-Yes.
-Joaquim Da Silva?
-Yes.
Get out of the car.
Turn around.
I don't speak French!
He drove all that way in a Renault 5?
-You're under arrest.
-What for?
What for?
Sausage trafficking!
I don't speak French!
I won't let you down.
Operation Portugal.
He'll never manage.
What?
Nothing.
Hello, Joaquim, how are you?
Fine. Everything's fine.
Good trip?
First off,
I came to France to speak French.
I speak Portuguese all year long.
Okay...
Let's say hi to Dad.
Of course. Obrigado.
France is a nice place.
I like it a lot.
Who's she?
Avó Lena, my grandmother.
Oh, yeah. She wasn't in my files.
He's counting on you at the site.
Yes, of course.
Obrigado.
We're way behind schedule.
Yes, of course.
Obrigado.
Julia is too young to be in charge.
And she's a girl.
We should let him sleep.
He's sedated.
Good night, Dad.
Good night, Daddy.
I don't think your grandma likes me.
She's mistrustful, like me.
Here's your room.
There's no bed.
Like you wanted.
"No bed or heating, like in Ansiães."
There was no bed
or heating in this room?
Sure, but we took it out.
Right. Like I wanted.
"No bed or heating.
Like in Ansiães."
Okay, good night.
I'm gonna die. I know I'll die.
Jesus.
Wake up, Joaquim!
You, you and you.
You others can try tomorrow.
They're illegal workers.
-You the police?
-No, I'm Portuguese.
Not the police.
Wow, this is some worksite.
So, where do I start?
Knock it off. You're the boss.
The boss of the whole site?
That's why we brought you here.
Here. The boss's hat.
Boss!
-Hi, boss.
-What'd you say?
-"Hi, boss."
-Say it again.
Boss.
Again.
Boss?
That's right, I'm the boss.
Can we lay the power cables now?
Yes, that's right.
Lay the power cables.
Thanks, boss.
Lay the cables, boys!
We're not home yet.
We'll die of boredom.
Hope he finds the coke fast.
-Hope he finds the coke fast.
-You bet.
I'm tasting the quality
and the texture.
That's how we do it in Portugal.
This one's nice,
maybe just a little flat.
But it's a good year.
Okay, I have work.
-Boss.
-Yeah?
We got a problem.
The door can't go
next to the IPN beams.
IPN beams are serious.
No mistakes allowed.
Because the IPNs...
The blueprint is upside down.
I know that.
It was drawn upside down.
No, just turn it around.
I know my job.
It was drawn upside down.
You can't work
with backward blueprints.
Everything's upside down here.
The site, the country...
And my job
is to straighten things up.
Have you got that?
Where does the door go?
There.
It's good there. Directly opposite.
Opposite what? It'll open onto nothing.
Who's the boss here?
You or me?
What am I?
The boss.
That's right.
Who am I?
The boss.
What am I?
The boss.
So stop drawing upside down blueprints.
We'll never get done like this.
It'll open onto empty space.
It's hot.
You're a sissy, Baumard.
-I'm a sissy?
-Bet you can't drink it down.
Coffee, Chabin?
A double.
Listen, I don't want to hear it!
Delivery is scheduled for tomorrow,
end of story!
It's coming.
Open up! I haven't peed in a week!
Get lost, it's occupied.
-Is he...
-No, no.
Don't say anything.
It's for the cement.
Like in Ansiães.
Bet you can't.
You're crying.
No.
Yes, you are.
I got something in my eye.
I scratched it with this thing.
Wake up, Joaquim!
Where's the coke, damn it!
-We always did it this way.
-It's not my problem.
I said, we need you!
-What's going on?
-He won't work the cement mixer.
I'm an electrician, not a builder.
You shit!
Claude, stop!
Why should I?
Arabs never do what you ask!
And all you do is give orders!
Stop!
Break it up!
Let go of me, idiot!
The idiot is your boss!
So shut up!
Shit!
You speak Arabic?
Yes, I speak Arabic.
I worked one month in Marrakech.
Arabic's easy.
It's like Portuguese, only it's Arabic.
He's got talent.
Two years in Italy,
I could barely order pizza.
My dad's not here,
but the rules are the same!
There's a building to finish.
We need to
work as a team... and make an effort.
Sorry.
Hakim?
I'm suffocating.
I can't breathe.
There.
Mom?
-Stop it, Mom.
-So I'm still your mom?
I'm still your mom?
You don't answer the phone.
You don't sleep at home.
You only come when I'm sick.
Well, I'm not sick!
-A girlfriend?
-No.
You're gay?
No!
So what's wrong?
I'm on an important investigation,
so back off!
Back off?
Back off.
Is that how you talk to me?
Your mother?
Look me in the eye.
Go wash your hands right now.
Then you sit down and eat!
It's a top-secret mission.
Top-secret, my eye.
You don't keep secrets from your mother.
-You expecting someone?
-No.
Hello, ma'am. Is Hakim here?
What do you want? Who are you?
I'm his captain,
so get him for me and fast!
And fast?
Is that how you talk to me?
Look me in the eye.
Go wash your hands right now!
Enjoy your meal.
Thank you, ma'am.
We have a mission
and you come home to eat.
-She had an asthma attack.
-I don't care.
Have you found anything?
No coke, no money.
They're smart.
But don't ease up on the pressure.
Now, that's interesting.
Pickled lemon?
No idea.
Yes, it's pickled.
Anyway,
keep close watch on Julia.
Shadow her 24/7 and make her talk.
How?
How should I know?
Become her confidant or seduce her.
I can seduce her, captain?
You ever seduced a woman?
Yes.
Go on.
Show me your fiery eyes.
No, wait.
Look.
Seduced?
Good. Now you.
Don't purse your lips.
Your eyes...
Open them wider.
No, you look sick.
We'll have to make do.
What did I just eat?
A chili pepper.
Hello, Julia.
Where were you, at lunch?
I had a minor medical emergency.
Asthma.
Tell me, Julia.
Don't you think it's hot?
No, it's cool.
It's cool, then hot.
Can't tell anymore with global warming.
But me...
I'm hot, Julia.
Why are your eyes all screwed up?
What? No, that's...
It's conjunctivitis.
My eyes screw up
from the dust on the worksite.
It makes your eyes sting.
Then you squint.
I'll get back to work.
I think it's best.
33.
34.
35.
36.
-How many did you do?
-38.
I'll beat your ass.
And Roucariès?
52.
A living legend.
38.
39!
You lost!
I'm going for Roucariès.
40! 46!
No, 42.
We'll meet halfway: 44.
It stings.
Wow, that's a V8.
4.8 liters, 400 HP.
What a handsome guy.
No, he isn't?
Sure.
He's got a gun!
I'm tired of your excuses.
One house should've been finished
6 months ago.
What did you do?
He's the developer!
He had a gun.
Shit.
It wasn't a gun.
It's hand gel.
Oh, my God.
I thought it was a gun
and that he wanted to attack you.
What happened?
Did I fall?
Yes, during your inspection.
Right, guys?
Like you were hit with a...
You had a good fall.
In glass wool.
That too?
That's no good, I'm allergic.
Here.
Late delivery penalties.
Get moving, or you'll have more.
We have six houses to build
and not one is up!
I wasn't hit with a shovel?
No!
I heard "ping"
and everything went black.
-Do you swear?
-Yes!
I believe you.
The exit's that way?
Then say so!
I'm sorry, Julia.
Don't talk to me.
Okay, day's over.
I know why you're out of control.
-You're homesick.
-No.
Yes.
Maybe.
Good evening.
Tonight is the night
you've been waiting four years for!
I didn't make much,
Carlos didn't warn me.
-Have some salami.
-I'm good.
Have some salami!
We're gonna lose.
GO FRANCE!
Has it started?
Are they playing?
Come on, Umtiti!
N'Golo Kanté!
-Who's Umtiti?
-He plays against...
With us but against you.
No, against us.
That's it, he's against us.
Go Portugal!
No one beats Portugal.
Don't need a World Cup to know that.
There's no hope for shit.
Come on, Giroud.
I don't believe it! He's shit!
Shit!
On your feet, if you're Portuguese!
On your feet, if you're Portuguese!
On your feet, Joaquim.
My knee hurts.
Shit.
Oh, sorry, sorry!
-I'll turn this off.
-Yeah, so he can't bother us.
Jackass.
-It was this close.
-Ronaldo did it again.
Portuguese Delicacies.
1-0.
But it's enough to win.
Good salami, huh?
We won!
-Come sit with us, Julia.
-No.
Come on.
I'm not in the mood. Leave me alone.
Joaquim,
I was against you coming.
I could've supervised the site.
I'm up every day at 5:00 a.m.
I know my job inside out.
I should've been the boss.
It's coming.
-What?
-The baby.
-Call the fire department!
-It's too late.
-Why are you looking at me?
-You're a bombeiro.
-"Bombe" what?
-Bombeiro!
You're a fireman.
-Oh, no. No way.
-Yes!
Fernando, no. Stop right there.
Stop? You're a fireman!
I take care of fires,
floods and tsunamis... Not that!
Deliver my baby, damn it!
Let her breathe.
It'll be fine.
Watch out for the table! Get a mop!
Everything will be fine.
What are you doing, boss?
Breathing.
-Not her?
-Yes, but me too.
No worries, I'm the bombeiro.
Keep going!
What?
Oh, my God.
-A problem?
-No, not at all.
Get that baby out!
Okay, I'm ready.
Breathe!
Breathe!
Not you, her!
He's just hyperventilating.
-Take care of me!
-Let's go.
Push, block, push!
It hurts!
Push, block!
We'll never make it.
Shut your face!
-She's not herself.
-Shut up!
It hurts!
Don't worry.
Me too.
Come on, Madalena.
Block, push.
Push!
-Push!
-I can't!
Look me in the eyes.
No, in the eyes.
We're gonna get the baby out.
But I need your trust.
Okay?
-Okay, okay?
-Yes!
Guys, I need your help.
Do anything, but motivate her!
All together, let's go!
Let's go, Portugal!
Let's go, Portugal!
The head is coming!
We're almost there! Louder!
It's coming. Good work, Madalena.
That's it!
That's it, here he is.
It's a boy.
Thank you.
Congratulations.
We'll name him Joaquim.
Nice name.
Thanks.
Give me a hug, guys.
Julia, we'll make up the time.
Guys, let's do it double quick.
Good tea?
Yeah, not bad.
You're drinking hot water.
Hi there.
-Having fun?
-You scared me!
Is this a cocaine mission
or a love boat?
-Why are you here?
-Faillancier is putting on the heat.
-She wants proof, and now.
-What can I do?
Think! For starters,
go nose around the office.
It's empty. Action!
-Yes, captain!
-Don't call me that!
I'm sorry, captain.
Hey, Baldy!
Take the wheelbarrow over there.
I'm coming.
Hello, Mom. I can't talk now.
I haven't heard from you in ages.
I'm worried, and in my state...
-What state?
-My back.
I'm sure it's lumbago cancer.
I haven't had an exam in two months.
Hakim,
please come home. I made pastries.
I'll call you back.
I've lost my touch.
He delivered the baby all alone.
He was heroic.
Carlos, I'm snowed under.
Can we talk about this later?
It's not his fault. He just took the job
your dad offered him.
We're like family.
We grew up together.
Can I be frank?
I don't recognize you.
Nothing interests you but work.
It's been tough since your mom died.
But she'd hate to see you so sad.
You're right.
I'll try to relax.
I miss you so much,
I love you
-That wasn't my dad's pocket?
-Yes.
-No.
-Yes.
Your dad's a man.
We all need the same thing.
I meant love.
Not a word to anyone.
Challans duck breast
with reduced red wine sauce...
Me Kraczyk.
Kraczyk me.
Me Polak.
I'm starving. What's for lunch?
Pig's trotters. It's ready, boss.
Nah, I've got a stitch in the side.
-Want to taste?
-No, I only eat pork.
We Portuguese only eat pork.
You sure?
To make you happy, Mohamed.
Only to make you happy.
This is no good.
Really no good.
No good at all!
It's worse than pork.
Some more, please.
Here.
It's really no good.
I'm tasting to make you happy.
You Arabs.
-What's that?
-Pastries.
I'll taste.
Even if it's not good.
-What's it called?
-Chebakia.
Chebakia.
I've had this before.
No good. No good at all.
-Who made this bad pastry?
-My wife.
Tell your wife...
that this... is really no good.
But good job!
What a great guy.
He didn't like it, but he ate everything.
You okay, boss?
That's the toilets.
I know,
I'm making holes in the toilets.
When you take a poo, it stinks.
-Yeah.
-So you need holes.
For fresh air.
I want holes everywhere,
like Swiss cheese.
We tend to forget, toilets need air.
What are you doing, Baldy?
I'm hooking up cables.
-You okay?
-Yeah.
Thanks.
You saved my life, brother.
That's him!
He electrocuted Mohamed.
Him?
No, not him.
-Yes, it was.
-No.
I saw him.
He saw him.
You there!
What's this?
That's not nice.
You can't just electrocute people.
I'm super upset.
There.
I laid into him.
Usually it's a kick in the ass.
He's right.
It's the price to pay.
No.
No.
Come on.
He'll never do it.
Sure he will.
Let him go.
Let him go! I'm the boss!
Stand back.
Please turn around, captain.
What'll you do?
Kick you in the ass.
You can't do that, Hakim.
I'm your captain.
I have to.
-Where you going?
-I need to run up.
It'll be fine.
That was too much.
This is pure hell.
Bye, boss.
-See you tomorrow.
-Sure, obrigado.
I'm organizing a May 13 party.
I'd be happy if you came.
-You're inviting me?
-I have a present for you.
Salami. My dad makes it.
You shouldn't have.
Yes.
-No.
-It's close to your heart.
-The smell of Portugal.
-Of Portugal?
PORTUGUESE EVENING
I know what you're feeling.
You do your best and it all goes sour.
But that's okay.
Don't give up. Believe in yourself.
Be strong, Julia.
I'm sure you'll succeed.
You know what?
When I'm down,
I have something that never fails.
Let out everything inside.
Go on, hit.
I'm fed up.
Harder.
I'm fed up.
Harder.
-I'm sick of work and responsibilities!
-Good.
-Sick of no one respecting me!
-Let it out!
Sick of worrying about my dad!
More.
Sick of problems!
Sick of all those sexists.
No holds barred.
Hit!
Sick of you making things worse
when you came to help!
-Easy.
-Your incompetence
and stupidity!
You've got to be a moron
to piss in the cement!
The bitch.
I'm sorry, Joaquim.
Salsa class!
Hello, ma'am.
I'd like to sign up for the gym.
Dr. Truong told me, "Aïcha,
exercise is good for your health."
-Want me to show you around?
-Sure.
-It stinks.
-Sports smell strong, ma'am.
Forward!
And back!
Circle to the right!
Move the shoulders!
A step to the side!
-I didn't know you liked salsa.
-Me either.
It must not be easy to keep clean.
That's our salsa room.
I'll do salsa right now.
Choose your partner!
Hello.
My name is Aïcha.
But my friends call me...
Aïcha too.
I've seen you somewhere.
No.
It's incredible.
You look just like my husband young.
Thanks.
Change partners!
Julia.
It's funny, she looks familiar.
Calm down, ma'am.
She seems to like you.
I know!
My father's mistress!
Yes, I saw her on his phone.
Change partners.
Hug me. Dance with me.
-Your hubby?
-No, a distant cousin.
Is he single?
Yes.
Time to change partners!
You like Moroccan cooking?
I feel funny.
My heart is trembling
like the ocean tide at night.
Change partners!
Forward!
-What's wrong?
-Shit, stop scaring me!
Hey, I'm still your boss.
Sorry, captain.
Any intel?
-She's starting to trust me.
-Very good.
-Where is she?
-Taking a shower.
-Hurry up, go search her purse.
-Yes, sir!
Give me the soap.
What are you doing?
I wanted to talk to you
and I saw your mother's picture.
I wanted to thank you.
No one's taken care of me
in a long time.
It's only normal.
When Mom passed away,
Dad was desperate.
She was more than his wife,
she was his equilibrium.
So... I tried to compensate.
I quit my job
and I moved back home
to fill the void.
I do my best, but it's not easy.
I'm there for everyone.
For Dad, for the company,
for the workers.
And so, I put my life on hold.
Mine's on hold too.
Because of my mother.
She's a hypochondriac,
depressive and even suicidal.
-She is?
-Yes.
Since my father died.
Uncle Augusto died?
What happened?
He was in great shape last summer.
What happened?
He caught chickenpox.
Chickenpox?
A raging case.
One morning,
he had little spots and that night,
no more Augusto!
Done. We're fragile creatures.
Poor thing,
that's why you're scatterbrained.
That's why I'm scatterbrained.
That's why.
Damned chickenpox!
I'm so sorry.
Don't tell Dad, he couldn't take it.
Hold me tight.
I'm so sad.
Tighter.
A little more.
More.
That's good.
So good.
I'm sorry.
What did you want to ask me?
I wanted to know
where you buy your cement.
It's very good quality.
No, it's not important.
It doesn't matter.
Good night, Joaquim.
Good night.
Well?
A drink?
Aguardente from Portugal.
What?
Aguardente.
Here goes.
No.
Never on the job. Never!
I don't know why,
but I don't trust that Joaquim.
Grandma!
You can't say no,
it's my grandfather's.
Can't say no.
It's his grandfather's.
-Obrigado.
-Bottoms up!
And a second.
We should go easy.
What's in that?
Grapes.
BRAZILIAN WAXING
Hello, ma'am.
What's he doing?
His feet must be warm.
Dear parishioners,
on this May 13,
we celebrate Fátima...
What's he doing?
Counting fingers.
...the Father,
the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
You may sit.
As Saint Paul said,
my brothers...
A real pro.
He's checking the tiles.
What if we sang?
A little song?
Wanna sing?
Let's sing!
Stand!
Stay as you are, you're fabulous.
First off, I wish to greet
the Portuguese community,
who help preserve our church.
Namely
our benefactor,
José de Almeida!
You can recognize him by his arms.
Wonderful.
Thank you, José.
I have tears in my eyes.
José's a swell guy.
We have with us
a believer who performed a heroic feat.
He delivered a baby by himself.
Straight from Portugal!
Let's hear applause!
Make some noise for Joaquim!
Go on.
Have you ever noticed?
-That guy...
-Yes, Jesus Christ.
-He's Portuguese.
-No.
Yes.
-Yes, he is.
-No.
His dad was a carpenter.
A builder, like the Portuguese!
What do Portuguese serve their guests?
Porto wine. Like Jesus Christ!
We Portuguese are the best!
Yeah!
The Chinese took 200 years
to build a wall.
A Portuguese
would've done it in two weeks.
The pyramids,
with those funny pharaohs...
Nothing but rock.
A Portuguese
would've put a skylight for fresh air!
Put a Portuguese on Survivor,
he'd win for sure!
No need for huts.
He'd make cement
with sand and water and build
your house!
That's all, folks, that was Joaquim!
He's saying mass.
Not in Latin. Portuguese, ma'am.
I haven't seen Dad like that in ages.
He hasn't laughed since Mom died.
Thank you.
No, thank you.
Come on, it's time to party!
Party time!
-It's time to what?
-Party!
What's Baldy doing here?
-Who invited him?
-Claude.
To apologize
for the kick in the ass.
What the hell?
Calm down, I was invited.
It's not them, sir.
They're not drug traffickers.
They're good people.
Look.
You know what?
I've never been so happy.
Hakim, stop right now!
Keep your eyes open.
-What's this?
-Bacalhau.
With cod?
Of course.
Of course.
Bravo, Dad.
I see you waste no time.
You invited your mistress?
Yes, you did.
She didn't come on her own.
Chabin?
Bet you wouldn't set off a flashbang.
You wanna see?
My little Baumard!
Chabin!
My little birdie.
Liar!
Liar.
He's a liar.
He's hiding something from us.
Whoever you are,
I know you're not Portuguese.
Stop, Grandma.
Of course he's Portuguese.
Tell her you're Portuguese.
Tell her!
Tell her!
To arms,
to arms!
Over the land,
over the sea.
To arms,
to arms!
To fight
for our Fatherland!
Against the cannons,
march...
march!
Captain,
you stun-gunned my mom!
-What's she doing here?
-She's in love with me.
Go back in, I'll take care of her.
This is pure hell.
I need to tell you something.
Don't say a word.
Listen.
The lyrics are beautiful.
You know, Julia...
I'm not the man you think.
I know, Joaquim.
You're different.
We searched your house.
We found this.
What's this dough?
For the last time,
I don't speak your language.
In French.
Old nanny goat!
You want to see your son grow up?
Forget it.
Because unless you talk,
I'll lock you up.
Okay.
-I know where the drugs are.
-Where?
Up your ass.
Guess what.
We had a mole on the worksite.
Hakim!
Meet Hakim Dhouieb,
aka "Joaquim."
That's not Joaquim.
Joaquim would never betray us.
Look me in the eyes.
Look me in the eyes.
You betrayed us.
Betrayed you?
And the money?
It's Avó Lena's lifetime savings.
It was to bail out the company.
If we went under,
my father would've died twice.
That's what the money is.
Has the dago finished?
Don't talk to her like that.
Who are you? Just a pawn.
You're pitiful.
Don't speak
to my men or them like that!
You're just a small-time cop.
Perhaps, but I know the law.
You have nothing
and they've been in custody 48 hours.
So please release them,
Mrs. Faillancier.
You can start packing up.
You're fired, as of now!
Out of my sight.
Let them go.
Mr. Hakim, how are you?
Ahmed.
I have something
very serious to tell you.
I fell in love with someone.
I don't understand.
I don't know.
I think I had love at first sight.
But don't worry, it's all over.
I can see clearly again.
I never want to see him again.
Forgive me.
You'll always be the love
of my entire life.
I'm tasting the quality and the texture.
"Cut the truffle in thin slices."
-Captain, it's me.
-I'm not your captain, I was sacked.
Captain,
I'm not sure where the drugs are,
but I know who's boss.
-Meet me on the site.
-De Almeida's?
Yes.
Listen here, Hakim.
There's no site or investigation.
I'm going to hang up
and make truffle eggs. Do the same.
Oh, shit!
It's up to you, Joaquim.
Kraczyk the Pole!
How did you guess?
I brushed my teeth.
My mouth was full of toothpaste.
That's when it hit me!
You weren't looking for cement quality.
You wanted your coke!
But I don't understand.
Why this worksite?
To avoid suspicion,
we used normal transport routes.
Unfortunately, an employee
stuck the wrong label on.
And so,
we received dry cement.
And the De Almeidas...
received my coke.
Kraczyk!
All this because of a wrong label?
All this because your cocaine
had a wrong label stuck on!
Those things happen, Kraczyk.
Sometimes I order things,
but no label stuck.
Or stuck wrong.
Stuck here, stuck there.
Don't move!
Why do you laugh?
That's why I laugh.
Don't hurt her.
I won't hurt her if you tell me
right away
where my fucking coke is!
A people united
will never be defeated!
A people united will never be defeated!
Attack!
Ouch, I'm with you!
Sorry, boss.
I'm the boss, shit.
Kraczyk?
Julia?
Boss!
Saved by pork.
Police, you're under arrest!
It's Baldy, he's with Kraczyk.
No?
Bad move?
I came to press charges.
I was lied to,
betrayed, tricked and used.
My family was harmed.
You writing?
Yes, of course.
I thought I'd found a man
who was sensitive and understanding.
Maybe he had no choice.
Hush, I'm the plaintiff.
The problem is that despite it all...
despite what he did...
I can't get him off my mind.
I'm sorry.
That's for lying to me.
And this is for saving my life.
This is my husband.
-May I?
-Of course you can.
-What are you doing?
-Never know.
-Never know what?
-It saved his life.
Captain!
-Feeling better?
-Yes, it was nothing.
Glad to see you.
Glad to be here.
I'm so proud.
You deserved your medal.
Say, Hakim,
my memories are fuzzy.
-Did I really arrest everyone?
-Barehanded!
Like a lion! It was amazing.
-You're sure?
-Certain.
If you say so, I guess it's true.
-If it was me...
-It was.
It was me.
No need to rewrite history.
It was me.
-Did you hear about Faillancier?
-No.
She was fired.
Let's have a drink, captain.
Colonel!
You forgot your meds.
I don't need them anymore.
I've never breathed easier.
He must be proud of you.
José, tell me,
what happened to you?
I have no recollection.
I only know
I fell down the church steps.
He came to repair a step
and renovated the whole church.
In one day. Right?
It's true.
I've been all fired up ever since!
Right, José?
Incredible, isn't it?
What's done is done.
There.
Let's get a drink.
Two!
No, I won't.
Why not?
I don't understand when you talk.
A problem, ladies?
She wants to put pork in my tajine.
And she wants to put harissa paste
in the cod.
Calm down.
I have an idea.
Apron.
Apron?
Look me in the eye.
Go wash your hands right now!
It's coming!
Here we are,
ladies and gentlemen.
Veal in white sauce!
There's harissa paste if anyone wants.
And sausages too.
Or you can eat it plain.
I'll go eat now.
Avó Lena!
I'm very happy for you two.
However...
as long as I'm alive,
you'll never marry Julia.
You speak French?
Of course I do.
But not a word.
You didn't wait for me?
-Who's the boss?
-You, my son.
Me too, a little.
Hey,
where's the real Joaquim?
Hi, Joaquim.
-You okay?
-Great.
You're going to have a roommate.
Sorry.
Hello, I'm Joaquim.
And you?
A door onto nothing,
ceiling heaters and holes in toilets?
Yes, that's right.
I love it.
It's unstructured, I love it.
But isn't the door dangerous?
No, you just need to lock it.
Of course, how silly of me.
Obrigado.
I love it.
It's the first time in my career
I've seen this.
Here, my girl. You deserve it.
Does that hurt?
Do you know this ass?
Operation Portugal.
Operation Portuguese.
What am I?
That's good.
The boss.
Go wash your hands right now.
I'll do that again
because I forgot a line.
Asthmatic.
Like Darth Vader.
Okay.
Don't you think it's hot?
Keep going!
It's cool, then hot.
Let them go.
With sugar?
-Go make her a coffee.
-What?
Go make her a coffee!
Coffee!
No thanks, I'm good.
A "houloucouptere."
Cut!
52!
53!
Shove it,
Roucariès the legend!
Kiss me, Baumard!
Watch out!
Well?
You look like Chaplin.
Fantastic, he's my father's idol.
No, that won't work.
Look at me.
It won't work.
Should I look at you?
It won't work.
How about from the side?
Subtitles Translated by:
Julie Meyer