Operazione San Pietro (1967) - full transcript
Small time crook Napoleone falls into an unlikely gang made up of a gangster, called The Baron, and his two cohorts, Agonia and The Captain, where Napoleone takes them to Rome where they shack up with a shady used car dealer caled Il Cajella to help finance their new life of crime by planing to rob a statue from the Vatican. But a big-time American gangster, named Joe Ventura, hears about the heist and wants the priceless statue for himself by having his mistress, Samantha, come onto and betray the woman-hungry Cajella to give the statue away to her.
Operation Saint Peter
Here.
We're right underneath the
agricultural bank of Naples.
This is the job of our life.
Let's proceed with the hole.
The drill.
Captain.
Captain, take it slowly.
I'm wearing dark clothes.
Baron.
I don't see anything.
Are you mute?
The safety deposit boxes are north-east.
-Where's north-east?
If you don't know, captain?
I don't want to laugh but the bank
of Naples seems a bit run-down.
What are you playing at?
There are people sleeping in here.
A guard.
-What guard?
He's got the face of a thief.
Silence.
What is it?
-We're in a prison cell.
You got it all wrong.
They'll call the police.
You'll pay for this.
I've seen you.
Us too, brigadier.
Sorry to disturb.
Wait for me.
I'm coming as well.
I'll get the keys.
Is everyone here?
Who's he?
Napoleon.
Be careful, that's my cloakroom.
What are you smoking?
What do you think?
Nationals.
A disgrace.
You're all a disgrace.
To make money you need money.
Do you have any change?
To be honest...
-Yes, or no?
600 Lira.
And you?
That makes it 900.
I'm nobility, I don't carry any.
-The strength of the hand is in the fingers...
That's what we say in Palermo.
All for one.
Hand it over.
There you go.
-Give it here.
Saint Luchino.
They call me the baron.
What a mess.
How can I help you, St Luchino,
if you don't help yourself?
You need initiative.
Initiative...
Miserable scum.
This is our pathetic
starting capital, 2500 lira...
But, in Napoleon's hands,
it will become 5000 lira.
What am I saying?
500,000.
A million.
Get lost.
I told you, didn't I?
This place isn't up to my standards.
We must go north, to Rome.
That's where Napoleon can flourish.
How will we get there if we don't
even have enough money for a tram?
I'll find a way.
Call me the minister of transport.
How beautiful.
'Italian stock exchange'
Did you just drop one?
-In Catania they say it brings good luck.
It doesn't look like it.
Because we lost 250 Lira playing
briscola? (Italian card game)
Thieves.
This friend of yours in Rome,
is he really that well connected?
Who?
Panzanera?
All the stolen goods in the
city pass through his hands.
He would always say to me:
"Napoleon..."
"Napoleon, leave your
father and come to Rome...
You'll find a brother and a house.
Pick it up.
-Yes, sir.
It looks abandoned.
This Panzanera takes care of himself.
-Of course, I told you so.
Where's Panzanera?
Who are you looking for?
-Panzanera.
We're friends of the family.
-Panzanera isn't here, he's in prison.
We've got time.
We can wait.
Three years, five months and ten days.
You'll have to wait three
years, five months and ten days.
They sentenced him yesterday.
I told you, didn't I?
You had to break me out sooner.
Who are you?
Who else?
I'm Cajella.
Excuse me, doctor Cajella...
The fact is, we only know Rome
as tourists, but professionally...
We're a bit out of the loop.
What's your specialisation?
-We're quite eclectic...
From bag snatching to robbery.
-The usual jack of all trades.
They want specialists nowadays.
A specialist...
...always stays afloat.
Look at Cajella here.
Cajella works with Americans...
Widows and divorcees.
It's a bit of a mix.
What do you do to them?
-I'm coming.
What does Cajella do?
A little slap and I'm off.
Sometimes I make $10...
$20...
Sometimes I even make $50.
In other words, he entertains himself
with American women of a certain age...
With fraud in mind.
He's a gigolo.
-Didn't you notice?
Goodbye, folks.
I'm coming.
A youngster of dubious morals.
At least he eats.
We'll eat as well.
I'll show these cretins what
Napoleon is capable of...
In Palermo they called me the
Al Capone of supermarkets.
I always will be.
Just like a swordfish...
I'm a predator...
With no fear.
I'll go in...
I'll steal some lasagne.
Translation: wallet.
...and I'll leave peacefully.
Showing the world it is me.
No one can stop Napoleon...
No one can stop him.
We got you this time.
Let go of me.
It was an unfortunate misunderstanding.
I'm a foreigner.
I thought you treated
tourists better in Rome.
Let's not make this a battle
between north and south...
What difference does it make?
Guard.
-What is it?
I'll show you.
-I'm innocent.
He pick pocketed this woman.
-What are you talking about?
It's not true.
There's been a mistake.
But I saw him with his hand in your bag.
It's still in his pocket.
There you go.
Do you know what I'm going to do?
I'll admit it...
He's my fiancé.
He can pickpocket me all he wants.
-This guy doesn't look like her fiancé...
He looks like a thief.
My dear, let's go Filiberto.
Leave these people alone.
He's even called Filiberto.
I want to express my gratitude...
For your noble gesture.
-Don't mention it.
Would you have done it for anyone else?
No.
Not for just anyone.
-Listen, madam...
I'm going to catch my bus.
-You're leaving already?
We can meet again.
-When? Straight away.
Do you have a telephone?
-To be honest...
I've been cut off.
-An address?
My villa is near here.
I'm called...
Napoleon.
Yes.
Filiberto.
Fili... Who?
I was forgetting...
There, you see?
You are honest, after all.
Filiberto.
Here, keep it as a reminder.
-No, I...
Goodbye, Filiberto.
Let's get to work.
Don't get so upset.
-You're all I need this evening, Cajella.
You're ruining my reputation.
Is a card for 5000 enough?
Any merchandise?
She's Julius Caesar’s mother.
Play my usual.
What does she want?
Get off.
Don't you find it boring here?
Let's go to my hotel.
Where?
-I said let's go to my hotel.
Sure, Cleopatra.
Crikey.
Cajella's going to suck you.
What are you doing?
Very good.
Do you like all this?
It excites me.
-That's fine with Cajella.
Wait a moment.
I'm going next door, I'll be right back.
If she grabs a whip,
Cajella's out of here.
My God.
Try it on.
Try on this uniform...
Come on, honey.
You might like it but Cajella doesn't.
-Do it for me.
Be quick.
Can you see him from here?
-Yes...
Take a look, Mr Ventura.
I see him.
Do you like him?
-What do you think, Mr Ventura?
He's not perfect but he's more
Italian than the last one, he'll do.
Go.
Adorable.
Cajella dressed like this, it may not work.
Turn around.
You'll perform perfectly in this uniform.
That may be so but I can
feel myself getting weaker.
It's not right.
-Go next door and get undressed.
I told you to undress, honey.
Cajella's got a tiger under here.
Well, what do you think?
Perfect.
Right, Joe?
Are you sure you can persuade him?
-He's a fool, he'll do anything I say...
We just have to explain it to him,
and I know how to do that.
Go on.
Hurry up.
This is a lot better, right?
What are you doing half naked?
-Pardon?
Get dressed, quickly.
-I thought you wanted to do it?
I've got a terrible headache.
Come on, hurry up.
Cajella says she's mad.
Get a move on.
When will I see you again?
-Go away.
You're leaving poor Cajella like this?
-Here's my number, call me everyday.
I'm not used to this.
I really like you.
I know, I know.
I really like you as well.
-If you...
...like a man in uniform,
I can meet you in the middle.
How should I dress?
Like a fireman?
Wear what you want.
-Beautiful American.
Bye.
-Bye.
Easy.
Cajella will surprise you.
Careful, Samantha.
He looks like someone who'll talk.
I'll take care of him.
How are you getting on with Joe?
-He's a formidable guy...
You were right.
This really is a lucky day...
I got to know Joe Ventura.
It's like the 14th of July in French history.
The 14th of July?
-Right.
What a memorable date.
That was the date I buried joe
under some stones on the beach.
That worm thought he
could get rid of me.
Thank you for your nice words.
Go on with the plan.
We must get them to open the safe.
Agreed, Joe?
Agreed.
-This is my task.
Exactly, it's your job.
Whatever diamonds they show you...
You keep saying you
want something better.
This will get them to open the safe.
It's very simple.
Right, Joe?
So...
You'll call us with this.
-What is it?
It looks like lipstick but
there's a transmitter inside...
No one will hear it but
we'll know when to strike.
Have you seen it, Joe?
-I've seen them before.
We'll be outside the shop.
As soon as you whistle we'll come.
This way the safe will still be open.
We'll only need a minute...
...to remove all the expensive jewellery.
What do you think, Joe?
-Go on Frenchie, let's hear the rest.
This is the most delicate part...
If your friend, who'll be disguised
as a guard, knows what to do...
As soon as we leave,
he'll arrive and block the traffic.
This will give me a
five minute advantage.
For you.
-Sure, for someone like you...
Even a minute is enough.
-Right...
Here, we'll find the clean cars.
You and Joe will take one...
...and us two will take the other one.
We'll look like tourists going to Anzio.
There's no risk until we get to the boat.
-It should work.
Any objections, boss?
-The bloodbath?
What?
A bloodbath?
I said bloodbath.
Where shall we do it?
In the jewellers or when we're outside?
Joe's only joking.
-Who do you think invented the bloodbath?
Joe Ventura, and this is why I'll go
down in history with Lincoln in the USA.
1938...
Six dead and a million in diamonds.
1939, Stern in Chicago.
Twenty two dead.
We all remember, Joe.
But we're in Italy...
Violence isn't needed.
This is the land of spaghetti.
All we need are three machine guns.
What is it, guys?
Very good, Samantha.
It's been interesting.
Wait.
Joe gets too excited sometimes.
He sees things how he
saw them twenty years ago.
Sure, we understand.
-He's good at his job.
Wait.
-Good morning.
If it's empty, it's not my fault.
There's no money in Rome...
5000 lira.
-5000.
I told you, didn't I?
Technically, it was the perfect robbery.
Goodbye, Giulianna.
-Bye, Cajella.
You made a day of it.
Sure, she's my wife.
You look in good shape.
-For the small expenses.
We'll spend this right away.
-If eating once is enough.
What does that mean?
I'm saying you need at least 1000
lira of pizza to fill the stomach.
Once you've taken care of your
stomachs, with the money that's left...
You should find a friend who's
trustworthy to give you some advice...
Someone who can show you the
best place to rob in Rome...
How you want and when you want.
This place, speaking professionally...
Is it safe?
-Where Cajella says?
All the tourists in Rome go there.
That's a million people.
Remember, this is holy week.
In this place I'm telling you
about it's easy to rob people.
Go there and you'll see.
They come from all over the world.
Men, women, Americans, Swedes...
It's free to get into San Pietro.
There's room for all the thieves in the world.
Do you understand?
You can steal anything you want.
-They stole my wallet.
Whoever stole it will be upset.
It's not the contents.
It was a family heirloom.
Let's split up.
Everyone find a target.
I'll check out that group.
Here, in front of you, is the most
celebrated statue in the world...
'La Pieta'
Sculpted by Michelangelo in 1501.
Observe it well.
It's the greatest sculpture ever made.
When it was displayed in New York
it was insured for thirty million.
Unfortunately, like on every holy
holiday, the statue is covered up.
But you can find some great
postcards in the shop...
All at a great price.
This way, please.
Now, I'll show you the Sistine
Chapel and Michelangelo's frescoes...
You won't see anything
because it's covered as well...
It took two thousand sheets
to cover it, imagine that?
Would you like to see...
...the forbidden statue?
Enough... Finished.
Fuck off.
Napoleon, wait.
We might get a result.
I've had an idea.
What do you mean he's not there?
I've been calling all day.
You must tell him to call me.
Please, it's something urgent.
Yes, he knows my number.
You and your stupid bloodbath.
He won't even speak to me.
She said he went to a reunion.
-These damned French...
I'll show them who Joe Ventura is.
I'll go there and I'll...
No, there'll be no bloodbath.
Besides, they'll rob it by themselves.
How will we pay for the hotel now?
-I could always kill the manager...
In 1932, in San Francisco, I...
-Yeah, '32...
Who cares about 1932?
I wasn't even born then.
I curse the day I met you.
Don't be like that, poppet.
Listen to me...
In a week's time, Cosa Nostra will
have their usual meeting in the Bahamas.
Everyone will be there.
Old Adonis...
Adonis is dead.
-Better for him.
They'll all be there...
All the big bosses discussing
how to divide the cake...
You'll see.
When they're all reunited...
Joe Ventura will be among them.
They know me well...
I bet you a dollar Ceruccia has
a heart attack when he sees me.
He already had one, years ago.
-They must give me every last penny.
20 years working in their banks.
20 years in Las Vegas...
Those were the days, poppet.
It rained money.
Millions of dollars.
And you're worried about
a pathetic hotel bill?
Go next door and be good.
Come on.
What is it?
Don't you like it?
You wanted to make love in uniform.
I borrowed it from a
waiter friend of mine.
Yes, yes.
Extraordinary.
Samantha...
Cajella can't keep his hands off.
I'd do anything to make you happy.
I didn't sleep last night.
Yes...
The third floor.
How high do you think that is?
Around twenty metres.
What's that got to do with anything?
Is there something else?
Have you got a rope?
-A rope?
You want me to tie you up.
What are you?
A vaccum cleaner?
You must leave.
I'm expecting company...
Come back tomorrow and bring
a rope twenty metres long.
Make sure it's at least
twenty metres long.
A uniform, a rope, a whip...
She's crazy, don't you think?
What are they looking at?
What have you found out?
-There are no guards...
Day or night.
That's impossible.
Is the alarm system complicated?
-There are no alarms.
Are you messing me around?
-It's true, we looked everywhere.
There's nothing there.
-Thirty million...
And you think they'd leave
it unguarded like that.
What do you want?
We're in Italy...
The land of disorganisation.
I don't buy it.
They must be using infra-red.
I'll go.
There you go.
It's the end of mass.
There's no infra-red.
-I told you so.
Okay, then we can't do this job.
-Why?
No guards, no alarms, no traps.
What kind of job is this?
Fool.
-I give you my word.
Do you take me for an idiot?
I'm finished for today.
-Us as well.
What are you doing, Napoleon?
Have you gone mad?
Indicate.
My heart's going to explode.
Are you taking it back to New York?
No, it's going to Fatica.
Napoleon, I've got a condition.
My heart can't take it anymore.
Napoleon, they've caught us.
Stay on the right.
You're blocking traffic.
It's shrunk.
I told you... Thirty million.
I've done my part.
It's down to you guys to sell it.
Burini, have you got a rope?
Nice sculpture.
-Ignoramus, it's Michelango's La Pieta...
The famous American statue.
I stole it from St Peter's this morning.
What do I know?
Let's go.
If it's American gear, Cajella's
got some American contacts.
Youngster.
This isn't some $50 knock-off...
That's worth thirty million.
-God damn.
Want me to ask around?
I'll let you know.
What did you want?
Do you need something?
A rope.
I'll find one.
Let me know if you
want to sell the statue.
Get to work.
-So suddenly?
I reckon we'll get around
ten to twelve million for it.
No...
At least twenty million.
There's four of us.
Plus all the expenses...
...and accumulated interest.
We'll make three to four million each.
What will we do with that?
Someone's stolen Michelangelo's
'La Pieta' from St Peter's.
Heavenly father...
It's absurd.
Can I help you?
Can I help you?
Tell me.
We'd like to interest you
in some important business.
Business?
-Michelangelo's 'La Pieta'
Michelangelo's 'La Pieta'...
We can do something...
Just bring me his sculpture of
Moses, we'll make it a pair!
Federico.
-Yes?
Get out of here you swindlers.
-Don't push.
What a horrible way to eat.
The police or Interpol?
-No, neither...
We must find it ourselves.
The essential part is secrecy.
No one must find out.
Remember how they worried when
'La Pieta' was sent to New York?
Just think what they'll say when
they find out it was stolen from us.
In three days it will be Easter.
The statues must be unveiled...
If it isn't there...
-Father McGregor, you lack faith.
In two days, the statue will be in its place...
Or I won't be in mine anymore.
It's him.
Lady...
-Call me Marisa.
I've got nothing against this sacred place...
-We've almost arrived.
Are you ready?
Lady... Please.
What do you want to do?
What are we going to do?
I wouldn't want to...
-Look.
No, no.
It can't be.
I'm sorry, it's impossible.
Did you see?
I saw Saint Agatha, Saint Rosalia,
Saint Prisoner...
...and you.
As soon as I saw you I knew
my Filiberto had come back...
As bad as you are.
But I loved him so much.
If you say so, but I'm alive.
-Yes, Filiberto...
Just tell me what you want.
The cross.
...and my answer is yes.
Yes!
To be honest...
Considering the location.
Are you messing me around?
-Who, us?
I've sold twelve 'La Pieta's'.
-But this is the real one...
Made with expertise.
-Yes? Expertise?
Then I'll swap it for Sofia Loren.
Then we'll make it a fair exchange.
There's a deal going down in Rome.
Do you want to earn $20,000?
Don't fool around.
-I'm not joking...
Michelangelo's 'La Pieta'.
It's worth twenty million.
...They want to sell it for ten million.
-Just get the suitcases.
I don't get it.
Why don't you call the porter?
Because I also have to pay the bill.
-So what?
I don't have a penny.
-What?
Not even $10,000?
-I don't believe so.
What a shame.
You could've resold it for thirty (million)
You'd have made twenty million.
With a little bit for Cajella.
Let's think about the suitcases.
Who's he?
Al Capone's father?
Be good.
Lucy Connor, 1928...
You know where she is now?
-Second pillar under the Brooklyn bridge.
Exactly.
With a nice pair of concrete boots.
Every time I go over the
bridge I say "Hi, Lucy."
Now, it's your turn.
Actually, both of you.
What is it, guys?
Come on, Joe.
Walk.
This way.
Tell me, when do I start shooting?
-You start shooting...
...when you see an eskimo.
An eskimo.
-Yes, an eskimo.
I'm there.
I'll wait in the garage.
What is it, guys?
Come this way.
Bye.
What's this about an eskimo?
-Don't worry about it, honey.
Cajella's worried.
Rome is full of bridges, if he was serious?
Haven't you heard of Joe Ventura?
-Yes, sure.
That's him?
He was.
Yes, he was after WW1, in Chicago.
From the 20's to the 30's, and later...
Joe was terrible in those days.
Then, one day, someone came knocking...
Boss...
They want you downstairs.
What is it, guys?
-An interview, Joe.
From that moment.
Whenever he hears three knocks...
Terrible Joe Ventura turned into a child.
Always repeating...
What is it, guys?
I want one as well.
Are they your suitcases?
I'm too tired to take all of them.
Just take my four.
-The others?
Leave Joe's.
We'll leave Joe as well.
Come on, push.
A little bit more.
Sorry, doctor.
Plug it in.
What are you doing?
-I made a mistake.
What's going on?
Strange...
My head doesn't hurt anymore.
That idiot's back.
Cut it out, Frankenstein.
I'll take care of him.
Stop doing that.
I'm not retarded.
Get up.
-I've got nothing to do with it.
We'll settle up later.
I want to know about the statue.
What were you saying about 'La Pieta'?
You can pay us in installments.
Four, eight, even up to twelve months.
What do you want me to say?
Look at the stuff I've got...
I wasn't expecting you lot from Naples.
I need to buy some more varnish.
No, I'm not going in.
Why?
-There's someone inside, listen.
No, it's just the wind
hitting a window, come on.
Don't worry.
No, if there's no one here then I'm going.
If your friends come I'll be embarrassed.
-They won't come, they're selling something.
Relax.
You're so handsome...
...Filiberto.
Stop calling me Filiberto.
-But, Filiberto...
The Madonna.
-What?
Yes, the Madonna.
With Jesus.
-Okay, Madonna with Jesus.
No...
Not here.
It's not right.
-What are you saying?
You're with your handsome Filiberto.
Don't you recognise me anymore?
I'm Filiberto, yes.
Your Filiberto.
Kneel down.
Poor guy.
No, I wouldn't advise it.
I heard that in 1927, Joe...
...chased a guy all the way to Singapore.
There's this really long bridge
in Singapore with 80 pylons.
There's room for everyone.
-You two, come with me.
I know what you were up to.
You wanted to use my name...
And I know why.
But for now, listen closely...
Forget this job you're thinking about.
It's kid's stuff.
I've got something big lined up...
You can help me.
I need a truck and your boat...
I'll give you 20%
20% of what?
-Ten million.
Joe Ventura is here from America.
He was very big in the 1930's...
But he's retired now.
I think we're on the wrong path.
Whoever stole 'La Pieta' is either smart...
...or a diabolical being.
-But it wasn't well protected.
I'm not referring to their audacity.
But the person who can find a way...
...to sell it.
There's only one 'La Pieta' in the world.
I myself cannot imagine...
...who would buy it?
The Vatican will buy it back.
To prevent a scandal.
On Easter Sunday they
have to unveil the statues...
'La Pieta' must be back in St Peter's.
-He's right.
Joe, the truck is ready.
-Excellent, where are the machine guns?
You've got the address, I'll be off.
-Quiet, imbecile.
You hit me.
-Good.
We'll do this like London in 1925.
-1925, in London?
When we stole the Rembrandt
from the British museum...
The first thing to do is get the
statue outside Italian waters.
Then, we'll negotiate with the priests.
Okay?
There's no one here.
Great...
You stay with this idiot.
Get out.
I've just remembered,
I've got an appointment.
You hit Cajella as well.
I thought you loved me.
How can we help you, gentlemen?
Go on.
I'll go, but I haven't
confessed since I was baptised.
Go.
I'll go, then.
What happened?
-He's speaking another language.
Let's go home.
-There's another one down there.
Please be seated.
Thank God for that.
Okay, son.
Tell me what you've done, confess.
Father...
-Go on, tell me.
I stole.
-Who doesn't steal these days?
I stole from church.
-That's a little more serious...
However, don't worry.
Admit your sins...
No, I stole from the Vatican.
-The Vatican? This more serious...
But it's not so serious.
Say three hail Mary's.
I stole a statue.
-Statues aren't worth anything nowadays...
Did you steal anything else?
-I'll tell you this outside of confession...
I stole 'La Pieta' from St Peter's.
Are they dead?
Napoleon, have you eaten?
Please forgive me.
But I don't see...
...the statue.
Your Excellency.
We sold it to the American.
So, you gave it to him.
-Yes, but...
...he paid us $50.
-$50...
'La Pieta'
I told you to hurry up.
Where is that son of a...
Forgive me, I meant to say nice woman.
You see, your eminence.
I'm looking for Cajella, my husband...
Tell me, please.
Have you seen him?
He got in the car with the American.
And you?
-He left with them.
Was she there as well?
I knew it...
I knew there was someone else.
I knew it would end like this.
He's fallen in love with an American.
Madam, we couldn't care
less about any of this.
May I ask a question?
Can Cajella get out now?
Be quiet, you.
-Are you taking turns to hit me?
A blue Chevrolet and a Fiat 626 truck.
Can you give me any more details?
-Your eminence, there was also a woman.
I know.
Brunette and tough...
You already told me about her.
-No, I meant the other one.
There was another one?
-Stuck on the front of the truck.
Interesting.
Stuck, how?
Like she had no shame.
-What did this woman look like?
Made of paper, like a pin-up model.
You know how they are.
No, to be honest I don't.
But I can imagine.
Do you want to make a note, father Ruiz...
There's a poster from a magazine
on the front of the truck.
It's an image of a woman.
-What did you say?
Naked?
-I didn't put it there, monsignor.
Praise the Lord.
The Benedictine father's your eminence.
-You talk to them, you know what to say.
Your eminence, this is the only
photo we could find of Ventura.
It was taken a few years ago.
But this is the robber's son, eminence.
Excuse me, your eminence...
Given that we're dealing with gangsters...
Wouldn't it be better to
contact the honourable society?
There are no honourable societies here.
-The Sicilian Cosa Nostra.
Very well.
In the worst case scenario...
We must call the police.
-No police...
We have very good reasons
to not get them involved.
We'll find the statue of 'La Pieta'
By ourselves...
Naturally, with help from God.
I didn't want to say it but the
police here really are a disaster...
Motorbikes, Panthers...
-I know, sonny...
...but we also have our own organisation.
A truck...
Fiat...
Nude.
Always praise the Lord.
Quick, brothers.
Get in.
Everyone get in.
Hurry up.
Start the engine, brother Celestine.
Thank you, brother motor.
What did they want?
How do I know?
They said they were looking for...
...a picture of a nude woman.
-Nude?
Nude.
Excuse me, father...
Why do we need this truck if we
don't even know where we're going?
Our orders are to obey, brother.
Wherever we go, God will guide us.
Excuse me...
What a thief my Cajella is.
Speaking respectfully.
Print it immediately.
-Yes, your eminence.
Print a thousand copies.
Yes, sir.
'God Be Praised'
'Wanted'
Yes, of course.
It may not be in Rome anymore...
Who knows where they're taking it?
Wherever they hide, God can see them...
...and perhaps us, as well.
In Lazio alone there are over
three thousand parishes...
...and in each parish, there's a good priest.
Don Antonio...
It's long distance.
It's urgent.
Yes.
-Yes, what?
I want to marry this meatball.
-So, Giuseppe...
Don Antonio.
I'm not in for anyone.
Not even the pope.
It's the pope.
Excuse me for a moment.
-He's doing a wedding, he said he's not in...
Except for you, Excellency.
Yes.
'La Pieta'
What's your name?
-Giuseppe Rotelli.
Giuseppe Rotelli, do you take Amelia
Galoni to be your lawful wedded wife, yes?
Whatever you say.
Amelia Galoni, do you take Giuseppe Rotelli
to be your lawful wedded husband, yes?
Whatever you say.
I bless your marriage in the name of the
father the son and the holy ghost, amen.
The water.
I'll bless you in the name of the father, the
son and the holy ghost, then, it's finished.
Don Antonio, where are you going?
We still have the rings.
It's such a lovely wedding.
Come back.
He's gone mad.
Where the hell are they going?
You did well to bring it,
but where did you find it?
Sadly, the temptations of the devil...
...occupy the dreams of our disciples.
Come forward.
They were all seized.
-This time the devil has done us a service.
Is this the woman on the truck?
-With respect to you, sir. Yes.
Print three thousand copies.
I want them distributed everywhere.
Everywhere? Your eminence.
-Wait, Siegfried.
Don't deliver them to the monks.
Or the boy scouts.
Why have you all got it in for me?
Where's the guy who was riding it?
-Don't waste time, let's go.
There he is...
It was a priest.
Praise be to Jesus Christ and my
congratulations to the reverend...
Alert the surrounding parishes and converge
on the road from Monterosi to Vignanello.
Go to the crossroads
high up in San Martino...
...and check the area.
They're more likely to
be heading towards Anzio.
These Jesuits always want to be first.
Let's get them.
Yes...
Yes, I understand.
Praise the Lord.
They abandoned the truck.
-What about 'La Pieta'?
They've taken it with them.
The only lead we had went as far
as seven kilometres past Vitilliano.
Not more than fifteen minutes ago.
That's all we know for sure.
If you'll permit me, eminence.
-Tell me, Schulz.
The electronic brain.
It's right...
It really is right.
-What does it advise us to do?
What we should've done on principal...
If we'd had more faith and less pride.
Pray.
Only God can stop them now.
There they are.
That's Cajella.
Get them, stop them.
They stole 'La Pieta'
I saw them myself.
The one on the left is Cajella, get them.
Are you sure?
-Yes, yes. I saw them in the car.
Come on, move it.
-Okay, Joe.
Follow me, soldiers.
Don't let them get away.
Get them.
Can I borrow your bike?
Jesus stole my bike.
Hurry up, St Giuseppe.
You're so slow.
Mind your own business, Plato.
Look, I'm running.
Over there.
We'll have to drive fast.
Remember, you asked to come.
As long as we have a good driver.
-Don't worry, I'll drive.
Eminence, I don't imagine
you've raced in the Millemiglia.
Slow down, there's a roadblock.
-Hold on, hold on.
The priests fly in Rome.
We think they're heading for the sea.
Everyone converge in the Anzio area.
Praise the Lord.
Yes?
Where?
The twisted tree?
Do you know where the twisted tree is?
We have a convent in that area. (seminary)
Yes, yes.
Good, very good.
Talk while you're working.
Are you sure you've never
raced in the Millemiglia?
No, not the Millemiglia.
But I won at Indianapolis once.
Dove to penguins.
Surround the Anzio area...
Everyone converge immediately
on the road to Litorania.
It's not wide enough.
How nice, the river is
running to the left again.
Cardinal, you'll get us killed.
Cover it up.
Come on, hurry up.
It might be the police.
We didn't see them on the road,
why should they be up there?
We'll get the exact position from the sky.
Excuse me, but have you
got a radio in the sky?
You're a man of little faith.
Here we go.
-What's that?
Gabriel calling cardinal Brown...
Over.
-This is Brown, I hear you...
Over and I pray.
I pray to God you see the thieves.
I see them, head towards Calarosa.
It's three kilometres south of Anzio.
They've already loaded 'La Pieta'
There's no time to lose, over.
Who was that?
Was it really the arch-angel Gabriel?
No, it was father Gabriel.
Our airplane pilot...
He's great.
He flies like an angel.
This car won't get through there.
It's too narrow.
With God's help we can go anywhere.
He's the son of a baron.
Everyone converge on Calarosa,
it's three kilometres south of Anzio.
Attention, please.
Dove calling penguins again...
An appeal to all the penguins in Anzio:
By any means, converge on Calarosa.
Get on.
I'll come down and get one of you.
This way we'll save some time.
I'll try again.
We're in Anzio.
Let's get to Calarosa.
They're far away, they're getting away.
-I told you, didn't I?
We need Jesus Christ to walk on water.
You're right, sonny.
All we can do is try to jump over it.
Hold on.
What a landing.
Let's get out.
Excuse me, I tore my trousers.
Thank God, I wasn't sure we'd make it.
Me neither.
Everyone on the floor.
Full speed ahead, captain.
-Right away.
He's talking to another captain.
Move them.
What an army.
Eminence...
You're more organised than the mafia.
-We're two thousand years older, sonny.
Get out of here.
Hurry up and jump overboard.
Listen, I've got nothing to do with...
Joe.
Eric.
How many years has it been?
This isn't the right path for you.
I told you you'd find the right way.
The devil put quite a tail on me.
I keep getting these headaches.
What is it, guys?
Take care of him...
No man is completely evil.
Stay where you are.
I've got a weapon more
powerful than a pistol...
The strip.
One move and I'll start undressing.
Take a step, eminence.
Take a step.
Not bad.
My daughter, you have to surrender
in these circumstances as well.
Samantha.
Cajella.
My love.
What have they done to you?
I'll always be able to find you.
I want to take you to America.
My love, I'm coming right away.
I'll never leave you...
Don't worry.
I'll never leave you.
These women always find a way.
Samantha, I'm coming.
Take me with you.
We've arrived early, brothers.
What regiment are you from?
I mean to say, which convent?
We're from Rome, eminence.
-What are you doing here?
Did you get lost?
-No, eminence, the opposite...
They told us to go and we obeyed.
Whoever obeys does not get lost.
-Right.
Go back.
Go back to your peace.
Hurry, brothers.
Subtitled by Merlin
Here.
We're right underneath the
agricultural bank of Naples.
This is the job of our life.
Let's proceed with the hole.
The drill.
Captain.
Captain, take it slowly.
I'm wearing dark clothes.
Baron.
I don't see anything.
Are you mute?
The safety deposit boxes are north-east.
-Where's north-east?
If you don't know, captain?
I don't want to laugh but the bank
of Naples seems a bit run-down.
What are you playing at?
There are people sleeping in here.
A guard.
-What guard?
He's got the face of a thief.
Silence.
What is it?
-We're in a prison cell.
You got it all wrong.
They'll call the police.
You'll pay for this.
I've seen you.
Us too, brigadier.
Sorry to disturb.
Wait for me.
I'm coming as well.
I'll get the keys.
Is everyone here?
Who's he?
Napoleon.
Be careful, that's my cloakroom.
What are you smoking?
What do you think?
Nationals.
A disgrace.
You're all a disgrace.
To make money you need money.
Do you have any change?
To be honest...
-Yes, or no?
600 Lira.
And you?
That makes it 900.
I'm nobility, I don't carry any.
-The strength of the hand is in the fingers...
That's what we say in Palermo.
All for one.
Hand it over.
There you go.
-Give it here.
Saint Luchino.
They call me the baron.
What a mess.
How can I help you, St Luchino,
if you don't help yourself?
You need initiative.
Initiative...
Miserable scum.
This is our pathetic
starting capital, 2500 lira...
But, in Napoleon's hands,
it will become 5000 lira.
What am I saying?
500,000.
A million.
Get lost.
I told you, didn't I?
This place isn't up to my standards.
We must go north, to Rome.
That's where Napoleon can flourish.
How will we get there if we don't
even have enough money for a tram?
I'll find a way.
Call me the minister of transport.
How beautiful.
'Italian stock exchange'
Did you just drop one?
-In Catania they say it brings good luck.
It doesn't look like it.
Because we lost 250 Lira playing
briscola? (Italian card game)
Thieves.
This friend of yours in Rome,
is he really that well connected?
Who?
Panzanera?
All the stolen goods in the
city pass through his hands.
He would always say to me:
"Napoleon..."
"Napoleon, leave your
father and come to Rome...
You'll find a brother and a house.
Pick it up.
-Yes, sir.
It looks abandoned.
This Panzanera takes care of himself.
-Of course, I told you so.
Where's Panzanera?
Who are you looking for?
-Panzanera.
We're friends of the family.
-Panzanera isn't here, he's in prison.
We've got time.
We can wait.
Three years, five months and ten days.
You'll have to wait three
years, five months and ten days.
They sentenced him yesterday.
I told you, didn't I?
You had to break me out sooner.
Who are you?
Who else?
I'm Cajella.
Excuse me, doctor Cajella...
The fact is, we only know Rome
as tourists, but professionally...
We're a bit out of the loop.
What's your specialisation?
-We're quite eclectic...
From bag snatching to robbery.
-The usual jack of all trades.
They want specialists nowadays.
A specialist...
...always stays afloat.
Look at Cajella here.
Cajella works with Americans...
Widows and divorcees.
It's a bit of a mix.
What do you do to them?
-I'm coming.
What does Cajella do?
A little slap and I'm off.
Sometimes I make $10...
$20...
Sometimes I even make $50.
In other words, he entertains himself
with American women of a certain age...
With fraud in mind.
He's a gigolo.
-Didn't you notice?
Goodbye, folks.
I'm coming.
A youngster of dubious morals.
At least he eats.
We'll eat as well.
I'll show these cretins what
Napoleon is capable of...
In Palermo they called me the
Al Capone of supermarkets.
I always will be.
Just like a swordfish...
I'm a predator...
With no fear.
I'll go in...
I'll steal some lasagne.
Translation: wallet.
...and I'll leave peacefully.
Showing the world it is me.
No one can stop Napoleon...
No one can stop him.
We got you this time.
Let go of me.
It was an unfortunate misunderstanding.
I'm a foreigner.
I thought you treated
tourists better in Rome.
Let's not make this a battle
between north and south...
What difference does it make?
Guard.
-What is it?
I'll show you.
-I'm innocent.
He pick pocketed this woman.
-What are you talking about?
It's not true.
There's been a mistake.
But I saw him with his hand in your bag.
It's still in his pocket.
There you go.
Do you know what I'm going to do?
I'll admit it...
He's my fiancé.
He can pickpocket me all he wants.
-This guy doesn't look like her fiancé...
He looks like a thief.
My dear, let's go Filiberto.
Leave these people alone.
He's even called Filiberto.
I want to express my gratitude...
For your noble gesture.
-Don't mention it.
Would you have done it for anyone else?
No.
Not for just anyone.
-Listen, madam...
I'm going to catch my bus.
-You're leaving already?
We can meet again.
-When? Straight away.
Do you have a telephone?
-To be honest...
I've been cut off.
-An address?
My villa is near here.
I'm called...
Napoleon.
Yes.
Filiberto.
Fili... Who?
I was forgetting...
There, you see?
You are honest, after all.
Filiberto.
Here, keep it as a reminder.
-No, I...
Goodbye, Filiberto.
Let's get to work.
Don't get so upset.
-You're all I need this evening, Cajella.
You're ruining my reputation.
Is a card for 5000 enough?
Any merchandise?
She's Julius Caesar’s mother.
Play my usual.
What does she want?
Get off.
Don't you find it boring here?
Let's go to my hotel.
Where?
-I said let's go to my hotel.
Sure, Cleopatra.
Crikey.
Cajella's going to suck you.
What are you doing?
Very good.
Do you like all this?
It excites me.
-That's fine with Cajella.
Wait a moment.
I'm going next door, I'll be right back.
If she grabs a whip,
Cajella's out of here.
My God.
Try it on.
Try on this uniform...
Come on, honey.
You might like it but Cajella doesn't.
-Do it for me.
Be quick.
Can you see him from here?
-Yes...
Take a look, Mr Ventura.
I see him.
Do you like him?
-What do you think, Mr Ventura?
He's not perfect but he's more
Italian than the last one, he'll do.
Go.
Adorable.
Cajella dressed like this, it may not work.
Turn around.
You'll perform perfectly in this uniform.
That may be so but I can
feel myself getting weaker.
It's not right.
-Go next door and get undressed.
I told you to undress, honey.
Cajella's got a tiger under here.
Well, what do you think?
Perfect.
Right, Joe?
Are you sure you can persuade him?
-He's a fool, he'll do anything I say...
We just have to explain it to him,
and I know how to do that.
Go on.
Hurry up.
This is a lot better, right?
What are you doing half naked?
-Pardon?
Get dressed, quickly.
-I thought you wanted to do it?
I've got a terrible headache.
Come on, hurry up.
Cajella says she's mad.
Get a move on.
When will I see you again?
-Go away.
You're leaving poor Cajella like this?
-Here's my number, call me everyday.
I'm not used to this.
I really like you.
I know, I know.
I really like you as well.
-If you...
...like a man in uniform,
I can meet you in the middle.
How should I dress?
Like a fireman?
Wear what you want.
-Beautiful American.
Bye.
-Bye.
Easy.
Cajella will surprise you.
Careful, Samantha.
He looks like someone who'll talk.
I'll take care of him.
How are you getting on with Joe?
-He's a formidable guy...
You were right.
This really is a lucky day...
I got to know Joe Ventura.
It's like the 14th of July in French history.
The 14th of July?
-Right.
What a memorable date.
That was the date I buried joe
under some stones on the beach.
That worm thought he
could get rid of me.
Thank you for your nice words.
Go on with the plan.
We must get them to open the safe.
Agreed, Joe?
Agreed.
-This is my task.
Exactly, it's your job.
Whatever diamonds they show you...
You keep saying you
want something better.
This will get them to open the safe.
It's very simple.
Right, Joe?
So...
You'll call us with this.
-What is it?
It looks like lipstick but
there's a transmitter inside...
No one will hear it but
we'll know when to strike.
Have you seen it, Joe?
-I've seen them before.
We'll be outside the shop.
As soon as you whistle we'll come.
This way the safe will still be open.
We'll only need a minute...
...to remove all the expensive jewellery.
What do you think, Joe?
-Go on Frenchie, let's hear the rest.
This is the most delicate part...
If your friend, who'll be disguised
as a guard, knows what to do...
As soon as we leave,
he'll arrive and block the traffic.
This will give me a
five minute advantage.
For you.
-Sure, for someone like you...
Even a minute is enough.
-Right...
Here, we'll find the clean cars.
You and Joe will take one...
...and us two will take the other one.
We'll look like tourists going to Anzio.
There's no risk until we get to the boat.
-It should work.
Any objections, boss?
-The bloodbath?
What?
A bloodbath?
I said bloodbath.
Where shall we do it?
In the jewellers or when we're outside?
Joe's only joking.
-Who do you think invented the bloodbath?
Joe Ventura, and this is why I'll go
down in history with Lincoln in the USA.
1938...
Six dead and a million in diamonds.
1939, Stern in Chicago.
Twenty two dead.
We all remember, Joe.
But we're in Italy...
Violence isn't needed.
This is the land of spaghetti.
All we need are three machine guns.
What is it, guys?
Very good, Samantha.
It's been interesting.
Wait.
Joe gets too excited sometimes.
He sees things how he
saw them twenty years ago.
Sure, we understand.
-He's good at his job.
Wait.
-Good morning.
If it's empty, it's not my fault.
There's no money in Rome...
5000 lira.
-5000.
I told you, didn't I?
Technically, it was the perfect robbery.
Goodbye, Giulianna.
-Bye, Cajella.
You made a day of it.
Sure, she's my wife.
You look in good shape.
-For the small expenses.
We'll spend this right away.
-If eating once is enough.
What does that mean?
I'm saying you need at least 1000
lira of pizza to fill the stomach.
Once you've taken care of your
stomachs, with the money that's left...
You should find a friend who's
trustworthy to give you some advice...
Someone who can show you the
best place to rob in Rome...
How you want and when you want.
This place, speaking professionally...
Is it safe?
-Where Cajella says?
All the tourists in Rome go there.
That's a million people.
Remember, this is holy week.
In this place I'm telling you
about it's easy to rob people.
Go there and you'll see.
They come from all over the world.
Men, women, Americans, Swedes...
It's free to get into San Pietro.
There's room for all the thieves in the world.
Do you understand?
You can steal anything you want.
-They stole my wallet.
Whoever stole it will be upset.
It's not the contents.
It was a family heirloom.
Let's split up.
Everyone find a target.
I'll check out that group.
Here, in front of you, is the most
celebrated statue in the world...
'La Pieta'
Sculpted by Michelangelo in 1501.
Observe it well.
It's the greatest sculpture ever made.
When it was displayed in New York
it was insured for thirty million.
Unfortunately, like on every holy
holiday, the statue is covered up.
But you can find some great
postcards in the shop...
All at a great price.
This way, please.
Now, I'll show you the Sistine
Chapel and Michelangelo's frescoes...
You won't see anything
because it's covered as well...
It took two thousand sheets
to cover it, imagine that?
Would you like to see...
...the forbidden statue?
Enough... Finished.
Fuck off.
Napoleon, wait.
We might get a result.
I've had an idea.
What do you mean he's not there?
I've been calling all day.
You must tell him to call me.
Please, it's something urgent.
Yes, he knows my number.
You and your stupid bloodbath.
He won't even speak to me.
She said he went to a reunion.
-These damned French...
I'll show them who Joe Ventura is.
I'll go there and I'll...
No, there'll be no bloodbath.
Besides, they'll rob it by themselves.
How will we pay for the hotel now?
-I could always kill the manager...
In 1932, in San Francisco, I...
-Yeah, '32...
Who cares about 1932?
I wasn't even born then.
I curse the day I met you.
Don't be like that, poppet.
Listen to me...
In a week's time, Cosa Nostra will
have their usual meeting in the Bahamas.
Everyone will be there.
Old Adonis...
Adonis is dead.
-Better for him.
They'll all be there...
All the big bosses discussing
how to divide the cake...
You'll see.
When they're all reunited...
Joe Ventura will be among them.
They know me well...
I bet you a dollar Ceruccia has
a heart attack when he sees me.
He already had one, years ago.
-They must give me every last penny.
20 years working in their banks.
20 years in Las Vegas...
Those were the days, poppet.
It rained money.
Millions of dollars.
And you're worried about
a pathetic hotel bill?
Go next door and be good.
Come on.
What is it?
Don't you like it?
You wanted to make love in uniform.
I borrowed it from a
waiter friend of mine.
Yes, yes.
Extraordinary.
Samantha...
Cajella can't keep his hands off.
I'd do anything to make you happy.
I didn't sleep last night.
Yes...
The third floor.
How high do you think that is?
Around twenty metres.
What's that got to do with anything?
Is there something else?
Have you got a rope?
-A rope?
You want me to tie you up.
What are you?
A vaccum cleaner?
You must leave.
I'm expecting company...
Come back tomorrow and bring
a rope twenty metres long.
Make sure it's at least
twenty metres long.
A uniform, a rope, a whip...
She's crazy, don't you think?
What are they looking at?
What have you found out?
-There are no guards...
Day or night.
That's impossible.
Is the alarm system complicated?
-There are no alarms.
Are you messing me around?
-It's true, we looked everywhere.
There's nothing there.
-Thirty million...
And you think they'd leave
it unguarded like that.
What do you want?
We're in Italy...
The land of disorganisation.
I don't buy it.
They must be using infra-red.
I'll go.
There you go.
It's the end of mass.
There's no infra-red.
-I told you so.
Okay, then we can't do this job.
-Why?
No guards, no alarms, no traps.
What kind of job is this?
Fool.
-I give you my word.
Do you take me for an idiot?
I'm finished for today.
-Us as well.
What are you doing, Napoleon?
Have you gone mad?
Indicate.
My heart's going to explode.
Are you taking it back to New York?
No, it's going to Fatica.
Napoleon, I've got a condition.
My heart can't take it anymore.
Napoleon, they've caught us.
Stay on the right.
You're blocking traffic.
It's shrunk.
I told you... Thirty million.
I've done my part.
It's down to you guys to sell it.
Burini, have you got a rope?
Nice sculpture.
-Ignoramus, it's Michelango's La Pieta...
The famous American statue.
I stole it from St Peter's this morning.
What do I know?
Let's go.
If it's American gear, Cajella's
got some American contacts.
Youngster.
This isn't some $50 knock-off...
That's worth thirty million.
-God damn.
Want me to ask around?
I'll let you know.
What did you want?
Do you need something?
A rope.
I'll find one.
Let me know if you
want to sell the statue.
Get to work.
-So suddenly?
I reckon we'll get around
ten to twelve million for it.
No...
At least twenty million.
There's four of us.
Plus all the expenses...
...and accumulated interest.
We'll make three to four million each.
What will we do with that?
Someone's stolen Michelangelo's
'La Pieta' from St Peter's.
Heavenly father...
It's absurd.
Can I help you?
Can I help you?
Tell me.
We'd like to interest you
in some important business.
Business?
-Michelangelo's 'La Pieta'
Michelangelo's 'La Pieta'...
We can do something...
Just bring me his sculpture of
Moses, we'll make it a pair!
Federico.
-Yes?
Get out of here you swindlers.
-Don't push.
What a horrible way to eat.
The police or Interpol?
-No, neither...
We must find it ourselves.
The essential part is secrecy.
No one must find out.
Remember how they worried when
'La Pieta' was sent to New York?
Just think what they'll say when
they find out it was stolen from us.
In three days it will be Easter.
The statues must be unveiled...
If it isn't there...
-Father McGregor, you lack faith.
In two days, the statue will be in its place...
Or I won't be in mine anymore.
It's him.
Lady...
-Call me Marisa.
I've got nothing against this sacred place...
-We've almost arrived.
Are you ready?
Lady... Please.
What do you want to do?
What are we going to do?
I wouldn't want to...
-Look.
No, no.
It can't be.
I'm sorry, it's impossible.
Did you see?
I saw Saint Agatha, Saint Rosalia,
Saint Prisoner...
...and you.
As soon as I saw you I knew
my Filiberto had come back...
As bad as you are.
But I loved him so much.
If you say so, but I'm alive.
-Yes, Filiberto...
Just tell me what you want.
The cross.
...and my answer is yes.
Yes!
To be honest...
Considering the location.
Are you messing me around?
-Who, us?
I've sold twelve 'La Pieta's'.
-But this is the real one...
Made with expertise.
-Yes? Expertise?
Then I'll swap it for Sofia Loren.
Then we'll make it a fair exchange.
There's a deal going down in Rome.
Do you want to earn $20,000?
Don't fool around.
-I'm not joking...
Michelangelo's 'La Pieta'.
It's worth twenty million.
...They want to sell it for ten million.
-Just get the suitcases.
I don't get it.
Why don't you call the porter?
Because I also have to pay the bill.
-So what?
I don't have a penny.
-What?
Not even $10,000?
-I don't believe so.
What a shame.
You could've resold it for thirty (million)
You'd have made twenty million.
With a little bit for Cajella.
Let's think about the suitcases.
Who's he?
Al Capone's father?
Be good.
Lucy Connor, 1928...
You know where she is now?
-Second pillar under the Brooklyn bridge.
Exactly.
With a nice pair of concrete boots.
Every time I go over the
bridge I say "Hi, Lucy."
Now, it's your turn.
Actually, both of you.
What is it, guys?
Come on, Joe.
Walk.
This way.
Tell me, when do I start shooting?
-You start shooting...
...when you see an eskimo.
An eskimo.
-Yes, an eskimo.
I'm there.
I'll wait in the garage.
What is it, guys?
Come this way.
Bye.
What's this about an eskimo?
-Don't worry about it, honey.
Cajella's worried.
Rome is full of bridges, if he was serious?
Haven't you heard of Joe Ventura?
-Yes, sure.
That's him?
He was.
Yes, he was after WW1, in Chicago.
From the 20's to the 30's, and later...
Joe was terrible in those days.
Then, one day, someone came knocking...
Boss...
They want you downstairs.
What is it, guys?
-An interview, Joe.
From that moment.
Whenever he hears three knocks...
Terrible Joe Ventura turned into a child.
Always repeating...
What is it, guys?
I want one as well.
Are they your suitcases?
I'm too tired to take all of them.
Just take my four.
-The others?
Leave Joe's.
We'll leave Joe as well.
Come on, push.
A little bit more.
Sorry, doctor.
Plug it in.
What are you doing?
-I made a mistake.
What's going on?
Strange...
My head doesn't hurt anymore.
That idiot's back.
Cut it out, Frankenstein.
I'll take care of him.
Stop doing that.
I'm not retarded.
Get up.
-I've got nothing to do with it.
We'll settle up later.
I want to know about the statue.
What were you saying about 'La Pieta'?
You can pay us in installments.
Four, eight, even up to twelve months.
What do you want me to say?
Look at the stuff I've got...
I wasn't expecting you lot from Naples.
I need to buy some more varnish.
No, I'm not going in.
Why?
-There's someone inside, listen.
No, it's just the wind
hitting a window, come on.
Don't worry.
No, if there's no one here then I'm going.
If your friends come I'll be embarrassed.
-They won't come, they're selling something.
Relax.
You're so handsome...
...Filiberto.
Stop calling me Filiberto.
-But, Filiberto...
The Madonna.
-What?
Yes, the Madonna.
With Jesus.
-Okay, Madonna with Jesus.
No...
Not here.
It's not right.
-What are you saying?
You're with your handsome Filiberto.
Don't you recognise me anymore?
I'm Filiberto, yes.
Your Filiberto.
Kneel down.
Poor guy.
No, I wouldn't advise it.
I heard that in 1927, Joe...
...chased a guy all the way to Singapore.
There's this really long bridge
in Singapore with 80 pylons.
There's room for everyone.
-You two, come with me.
I know what you were up to.
You wanted to use my name...
And I know why.
But for now, listen closely...
Forget this job you're thinking about.
It's kid's stuff.
I've got something big lined up...
You can help me.
I need a truck and your boat...
I'll give you 20%
20% of what?
-Ten million.
Joe Ventura is here from America.
He was very big in the 1930's...
But he's retired now.
I think we're on the wrong path.
Whoever stole 'La Pieta' is either smart...
...or a diabolical being.
-But it wasn't well protected.
I'm not referring to their audacity.
But the person who can find a way...
...to sell it.
There's only one 'La Pieta' in the world.
I myself cannot imagine...
...who would buy it?
The Vatican will buy it back.
To prevent a scandal.
On Easter Sunday they
have to unveil the statues...
'La Pieta' must be back in St Peter's.
-He's right.
Joe, the truck is ready.
-Excellent, where are the machine guns?
You've got the address, I'll be off.
-Quiet, imbecile.
You hit me.
-Good.
We'll do this like London in 1925.
-1925, in London?
When we stole the Rembrandt
from the British museum...
The first thing to do is get the
statue outside Italian waters.
Then, we'll negotiate with the priests.
Okay?
There's no one here.
Great...
You stay with this idiot.
Get out.
I've just remembered,
I've got an appointment.
You hit Cajella as well.
I thought you loved me.
How can we help you, gentlemen?
Go on.
I'll go, but I haven't
confessed since I was baptised.
Go.
I'll go, then.
What happened?
-He's speaking another language.
Let's go home.
-There's another one down there.
Please be seated.
Thank God for that.
Okay, son.
Tell me what you've done, confess.
Father...
-Go on, tell me.
I stole.
-Who doesn't steal these days?
I stole from church.
-That's a little more serious...
However, don't worry.
Admit your sins...
No, I stole from the Vatican.
-The Vatican? This more serious...
But it's not so serious.
Say three hail Mary's.
I stole a statue.
-Statues aren't worth anything nowadays...
Did you steal anything else?
-I'll tell you this outside of confession...
I stole 'La Pieta' from St Peter's.
Are they dead?
Napoleon, have you eaten?
Please forgive me.
But I don't see...
...the statue.
Your Excellency.
We sold it to the American.
So, you gave it to him.
-Yes, but...
...he paid us $50.
-$50...
'La Pieta'
I told you to hurry up.
Where is that son of a...
Forgive me, I meant to say nice woman.
You see, your eminence.
I'm looking for Cajella, my husband...
Tell me, please.
Have you seen him?
He got in the car with the American.
And you?
-He left with them.
Was she there as well?
I knew it...
I knew there was someone else.
I knew it would end like this.
He's fallen in love with an American.
Madam, we couldn't care
less about any of this.
May I ask a question?
Can Cajella get out now?
Be quiet, you.
-Are you taking turns to hit me?
A blue Chevrolet and a Fiat 626 truck.
Can you give me any more details?
-Your eminence, there was also a woman.
I know.
Brunette and tough...
You already told me about her.
-No, I meant the other one.
There was another one?
-Stuck on the front of the truck.
Interesting.
Stuck, how?
Like she had no shame.
-What did this woman look like?
Made of paper, like a pin-up model.
You know how they are.
No, to be honest I don't.
But I can imagine.
Do you want to make a note, father Ruiz...
There's a poster from a magazine
on the front of the truck.
It's an image of a woman.
-What did you say?
Naked?
-I didn't put it there, monsignor.
Praise the Lord.
The Benedictine father's your eminence.
-You talk to them, you know what to say.
Your eminence, this is the only
photo we could find of Ventura.
It was taken a few years ago.
But this is the robber's son, eminence.
Excuse me, your eminence...
Given that we're dealing with gangsters...
Wouldn't it be better to
contact the honourable society?
There are no honourable societies here.
-The Sicilian Cosa Nostra.
Very well.
In the worst case scenario...
We must call the police.
-No police...
We have very good reasons
to not get them involved.
We'll find the statue of 'La Pieta'
By ourselves...
Naturally, with help from God.
I didn't want to say it but the
police here really are a disaster...
Motorbikes, Panthers...
-I know, sonny...
...but we also have our own organisation.
A truck...
Fiat...
Nude.
Always praise the Lord.
Quick, brothers.
Get in.
Everyone get in.
Hurry up.
Start the engine, brother Celestine.
Thank you, brother motor.
What did they want?
How do I know?
They said they were looking for...
...a picture of a nude woman.
-Nude?
Nude.
Excuse me, father...
Why do we need this truck if we
don't even know where we're going?
Our orders are to obey, brother.
Wherever we go, God will guide us.
Excuse me...
What a thief my Cajella is.
Speaking respectfully.
Print it immediately.
-Yes, your eminence.
Print a thousand copies.
Yes, sir.
'God Be Praised'
'Wanted'
Yes, of course.
It may not be in Rome anymore...
Who knows where they're taking it?
Wherever they hide, God can see them...
...and perhaps us, as well.
In Lazio alone there are over
three thousand parishes...
...and in each parish, there's a good priest.
Don Antonio...
It's long distance.
It's urgent.
Yes.
-Yes, what?
I want to marry this meatball.
-So, Giuseppe...
Don Antonio.
I'm not in for anyone.
Not even the pope.
It's the pope.
Excuse me for a moment.
-He's doing a wedding, he said he's not in...
Except for you, Excellency.
Yes.
'La Pieta'
What's your name?
-Giuseppe Rotelli.
Giuseppe Rotelli, do you take Amelia
Galoni to be your lawful wedded wife, yes?
Whatever you say.
Amelia Galoni, do you take Giuseppe Rotelli
to be your lawful wedded husband, yes?
Whatever you say.
I bless your marriage in the name of the
father the son and the holy ghost, amen.
The water.
I'll bless you in the name of the father, the
son and the holy ghost, then, it's finished.
Don Antonio, where are you going?
We still have the rings.
It's such a lovely wedding.
Come back.
He's gone mad.
Where the hell are they going?
You did well to bring it,
but where did you find it?
Sadly, the temptations of the devil...
...occupy the dreams of our disciples.
Come forward.
They were all seized.
-This time the devil has done us a service.
Is this the woman on the truck?
-With respect to you, sir. Yes.
Print three thousand copies.
I want them distributed everywhere.
Everywhere? Your eminence.
-Wait, Siegfried.
Don't deliver them to the monks.
Or the boy scouts.
Why have you all got it in for me?
Where's the guy who was riding it?
-Don't waste time, let's go.
There he is...
It was a priest.
Praise be to Jesus Christ and my
congratulations to the reverend...
Alert the surrounding parishes and converge
on the road from Monterosi to Vignanello.
Go to the crossroads
high up in San Martino...
...and check the area.
They're more likely to
be heading towards Anzio.
These Jesuits always want to be first.
Let's get them.
Yes...
Yes, I understand.
Praise the Lord.
They abandoned the truck.
-What about 'La Pieta'?
They've taken it with them.
The only lead we had went as far
as seven kilometres past Vitilliano.
Not more than fifteen minutes ago.
That's all we know for sure.
If you'll permit me, eminence.
-Tell me, Schulz.
The electronic brain.
It's right...
It really is right.
-What does it advise us to do?
What we should've done on principal...
If we'd had more faith and less pride.
Pray.
Only God can stop them now.
There they are.
That's Cajella.
Get them, stop them.
They stole 'La Pieta'
I saw them myself.
The one on the left is Cajella, get them.
Are you sure?
-Yes, yes. I saw them in the car.
Come on, move it.
-Okay, Joe.
Follow me, soldiers.
Don't let them get away.
Get them.
Can I borrow your bike?
Jesus stole my bike.
Hurry up, St Giuseppe.
You're so slow.
Mind your own business, Plato.
Look, I'm running.
Over there.
We'll have to drive fast.
Remember, you asked to come.
As long as we have a good driver.
-Don't worry, I'll drive.
Eminence, I don't imagine
you've raced in the Millemiglia.
Slow down, there's a roadblock.
-Hold on, hold on.
The priests fly in Rome.
We think they're heading for the sea.
Everyone converge in the Anzio area.
Praise the Lord.
Yes?
Where?
The twisted tree?
Do you know where the twisted tree is?
We have a convent in that area. (seminary)
Yes, yes.
Good, very good.
Talk while you're working.
Are you sure you've never
raced in the Millemiglia?
No, not the Millemiglia.
But I won at Indianapolis once.
Dove to penguins.
Surround the Anzio area...
Everyone converge immediately
on the road to Litorania.
It's not wide enough.
How nice, the river is
running to the left again.
Cardinal, you'll get us killed.
Cover it up.
Come on, hurry up.
It might be the police.
We didn't see them on the road,
why should they be up there?
We'll get the exact position from the sky.
Excuse me, but have you
got a radio in the sky?
You're a man of little faith.
Here we go.
-What's that?
Gabriel calling cardinal Brown...
Over.
-This is Brown, I hear you...
Over and I pray.
I pray to God you see the thieves.
I see them, head towards Calarosa.
It's three kilometres south of Anzio.
They've already loaded 'La Pieta'
There's no time to lose, over.
Who was that?
Was it really the arch-angel Gabriel?
No, it was father Gabriel.
Our airplane pilot...
He's great.
He flies like an angel.
This car won't get through there.
It's too narrow.
With God's help we can go anywhere.
He's the son of a baron.
Everyone converge on Calarosa,
it's three kilometres south of Anzio.
Attention, please.
Dove calling penguins again...
An appeal to all the penguins in Anzio:
By any means, converge on Calarosa.
Get on.
I'll come down and get one of you.
This way we'll save some time.
I'll try again.
We're in Anzio.
Let's get to Calarosa.
They're far away, they're getting away.
-I told you, didn't I?
We need Jesus Christ to walk on water.
You're right, sonny.
All we can do is try to jump over it.
Hold on.
What a landing.
Let's get out.
Excuse me, I tore my trousers.
Thank God, I wasn't sure we'd make it.
Me neither.
Everyone on the floor.
Full speed ahead, captain.
-Right away.
He's talking to another captain.
Move them.
What an army.
Eminence...
You're more organised than the mafia.
-We're two thousand years older, sonny.
Get out of here.
Hurry up and jump overboard.
Listen, I've got nothing to do with...
Joe.
Eric.
How many years has it been?
This isn't the right path for you.
I told you you'd find the right way.
The devil put quite a tail on me.
I keep getting these headaches.
What is it, guys?
Take care of him...
No man is completely evil.
Stay where you are.
I've got a weapon more
powerful than a pistol...
The strip.
One move and I'll start undressing.
Take a step, eminence.
Take a step.
Not bad.
My daughter, you have to surrender
in these circumstances as well.
Samantha.
Cajella.
My love.
What have they done to you?
I'll always be able to find you.
I want to take you to America.
My love, I'm coming right away.
I'll never leave you...
Don't worry.
I'll never leave you.
These women always find a way.
Samantha, I'm coming.
Take me with you.
We've arrived early, brothers.
What regiment are you from?
I mean to say, which convent?
We're from Rome, eminence.
-What are you doing here?
Did you get lost?
-No, eminence, the opposite...
They told us to go and we obeyed.
Whoever obeys does not get lost.
-Right.
Go back.
Go back to your peace.
Hurry, brothers.
Subtitled by Merlin