Only Fools Fall in Love (1995) - full transcript
Bite its leg off!
Do you wanna escape?
Wanna go?
This is the 9th one
You
What are you reading?
You don't know it
Just tell him
Have you heard of Shakespeare?
Who are you?
Miss Alibaba is the Beauty Queen
chosen from all prostitute houses
She accompanies with me
for a tour this time
and we'll get the Flower Cracker
from Chiu's Town
Judging from your name
you don't seem to be local people
My grandma was the princess
of Ching Dynasty
So, you're a princess
Are you Princess Margaret
or Princess Diana?
Don't get angry I tell you
I wanna buy your grasshopper
how much is it?
You're giving others a chance
to insult you
Look at my grasshopper
It's so strong. Look at that
It's called Invincible God of Fighting
I bought this especially to defeat yours
So, how can I sell it to you?
Don't you think you can
buy anything with money? Yes
Well, let's have another bet
I've just lost $5,000
Let's bet ten thousand this time
Master Ford
we just have one grasshopper left
and this isn't a well-trained one
Thank you!
Do you want me to scold you again?
Are you giving me advantage?
How to bet this time?
Same rule, which grasshopper dies
first is the loser
How long will the race take?
It's up to you Fine!
Seal it
Set them free after ten years
Let's see whether your Invincible
God Of Fighters will die or not
What do you want?
I just wanna fool you
Give that grasshopper to me
Come and get it after ten years
I wanna buy it back
3 times of its price?
How about 4 times? 5 times?
I don't care about money
I don't have much money
but my wealth isn't less than others
Freeze!
Do you know where you are standing?
It is Chiu's Town
Do you know my surname is Chiu?
If I am not in the mood
I am sure you can't go back home
This girl has just been courted by me
can you give me face?
Please give me some face
Alright Thank you
Other than reading books of Pere
what else do you know?
Being the Beauty Queen
of all the prostitute houses
I should be good at everything!
You're such a capable girl
but you have to become prostitute
If you give me a satisfactory reason
I'll give you $500
All because of my family background
If you tell me a simple story
by such common background
I'll give you a thousand
Poor family!
Finished
Great!
Straight forward!
Are you interested to play with me
for half year?
Deal
Now, you know her very well
Send her to my Yang Ming Villa
Yes, Master Ford
When I know you
you're not that greedy for money!
Cause I've become mature now
Let's go to Yang Ming Villa
Don't be upset
I'll give you another chance
If you're capable to get
the Flower Cracker of Chiu's Family
other than your grasshopper
I'll send you that girl
and ten thousand dollars too
Don't you think this is exciting?
OK! I'll come and get it! Let's go
Murdering... Exciting...
Can you be a bit emotional?
You die over 10 times a day
how can I be emotional?
It's boring. Let's go
They've all gone, let me help you!
Wonderful
Do you need to do so?
The people of this place are so generous
we have got 29 cents
But it's not enough for you to gamble
Daughter, gambling can be positive!
By the way
I have been taking care of the family
Family?
Don't you think we have a home?
It's my fault, actually, I have my plan
Let's work hard
and perform in more towns
After earning much money
enough to be a rich man
we'll find a place to settle down
I'll find a good husband for you
Actually, what kind of boy do you like?
How about the type of your dad?
Never
Alright
I've decided to find a rich guy for you
I'm not that money-minded
Other than being rich
he should love me too
I want 70% of it
Nothing is more important
than predestiny
It really stinks!
It's the famous Supreme Stink Bean Cube
It really stinks to hell!
I'm longing to eat this
What a coincidence! He just makes
such bean cube once a year!
I'm so lucky to meet this rare chance
What most attractive is
For every bean cube
It's still sold at normal price
It really worths!
Have you finished the introduction?
If you don't wanna buy it
come earlier next year
Miss, after you
After you
Let's buy it together Alright
How come?
This is the last one
After selling it, I'll leave
Pack it for me please
Pack it for me please
Hey Hey
You're a man
can you be a bit gentleman like?
You're a woman
you should act like a lady!
Do you wanna fight with me?
Fighting with others brings me
great interest in my life
Stop kidding
From your dark face
you show your extraordinary pale teeth
From your smile, it shows that
your inner heart is extremely lonely
and very unhappy
From your weak breathing
and irregular heart beats
and from few unhealthy hair of yours
as well as judging from your dress
I'm sure you come
from a single parent family
You're always wandering off
and have no sense of security
And...
From your weak breathing
I think you have poor digestion system
You too
How is your research?
If you don't wanna buy it
I'll leave then
I'll pay you double price
pack it for me please
I'll pay you a dollar
Two dollar
I am rich
Three
Four
Ten
Eleven
Twenty
Twenty one
Fifty
You fell in my trap!
Show your money!
Can't you afford it?
$50 for one stink bean cube?!
$50 can buy a shop
with sea view here!
How dare you fight with me?
You fool!
Thank you...
If you wanna show your appreciation
thank this lady
Boss, your bean cube
Since you appreciate this so much
why not share it?
I've never shared things with others
Just take it
I won't give it a damn
By the way
I am not called Fool
I am called Ford
I am rich!
Boss, I only have a bite of it
It's 90% new
I'd like to return it to you
can you give me $25?
What a fool! How can you raise
such request? No way
Just forget it
Well, if we meet next year
I'll send you a free bean cube next year
Keep your promise! See you
See you!
The workers want a raise
or they'll go on strike
Just find some jobless workers
from another village
But our workers are all under-paid
They're too greedy, you know?
Master Ford, a rich guy wants to buy
our rice shop, what do you think?
Just sell it to him
I'll ask the farmers to send the rice
to our new shop
So he'll buy an empty shop only
Anything else? Nothing...
Dismiss
Be careful, it worths ten thousand
What's that?
Madam, this is a grasshopper
Master Ford
Mom isn't feeling well
Shit...
Brother Ford
Mom, just tell me what you want
stop pretending to be ill
If you keep on pretending
it may bring you bad luck
Ford, you've grown up
I think this precious jade
should be sent to my daughter-in-law
According to the ancestors' instruction
you'd further the family line
Have more children...
Is that a choir?
You shouldn't interrupt
other's conversation!
Just so simple?
You need someone to reproduce kids?
Just up to you
I'm going to arrange your wedding then
I won't give it a damn
You're the eldest son of the family...
and should further the family line
Deal! I'm going to have a bath
Brother Ford...
What's the matter?
Congratulations! Brother Ford
Don't worry, I'll try my best...
To find a decent and pretty girl
to be your wife
Be honest
I can't cheat you at all
Mr. Sha Sam wants to buy back
the grasshopper
He wants to pay you $2,000...
How much?
I can't cheat you at all
He offers $2,500
Don't you think you can cheat me?
It's true, $2,500!
Brother Ford, it's late
please don't scold me
Sorry, he offers $3,000
Don't you think I'm damn poor?
No
So you must be poor and you need
to sell something for money
No
Damn you!
Where is your ear-ring?
You pawned your ring in Wing Hing Bank
for 3000 taels of gold
Don't you know such ear-ring
can buy the whole Wing Hing Bank?
Kidding?
I tell you, you addict
If you do anything to harm our fame
I'll send you to Hong Kong
Brother Ford, no!
I don't wanna go to the colony
If you can't get the ear-ring back
never come back again
I'm so poor to be scolded in mid-night!
I'll give you three more days
If you don't pay me
I'll double the interest
And I'll teach you
and your daughter a great lesson
Please don't curse me
No way
I don't mind you scolding me
But you can't curse my daughter!
I'd beat you, don't you believe it?
No
So, forget it
Brother Ford, it's not convenient
to go out from the front door
Let's take the rear door
What did you say?
Open the door
You married once!
None of your damn business!
Here comes Master Ford... Calm down
Master Ford... Don't push...
Master Ford is really handsome!
May I be your wife? What do you think?
Stay calm... don't push!
Everyone has a chance!
Stay calm, don't push!
Master Ford, they come here
to be the candidates of your wife
I heard that
many girls queued up for two days
Someone offers $2
to buy the first place
I always under-estimate my charm
You're really attractive!
Your attractions include:
A piece of precious jade
A thousand dollars, 500 cattle
An independent house
plus 25 pieces of furniture
A membership of a country club
Find 10 coolies
and 20 construction site workers for me
Are they for the dowry?
It's really special
No, I need them only
Kidding?
Don't you have anything for fun?
Miss Wong Mo-lin
aged 22, weight 90 catties
She loves shopping in the market
but hates looking at the mirror
Miss Pak Yu-kiu, aged 19
Weight 91 catties and 2 tales
She likes reading
her favourite book is...
Penthouse
Sorry, I've made a mistake
No way...
From the way she walks
I can tell she is bitchy
Not good...
What number is it?
Chan Nim-chi
she is from cultured family
Today is her first day out
She has clean background
Her family matches Chiu's family!
She's pretty looking too
She must be reproductive
But she's too fat and short
She'll have at least 4 children
in three years
May I see her parents?
Are your parents alive?
I don't know, better ask my mother
Has your mom come with you?
I don't know, just ask my mother
Where is your mom?
I don't know, better ask my mother
Do you have mother?
I don't know, better ask my mother
You've gone too far!
Come out
I wanna quit your application
I don't know, better ask my mom
You are a man!
Of course
I'm a rich guy in town, named Rich Wong
I'm really rich
I come here to register
on behalf of my daughter
You are Mr. Rich Wong!
Why don't you come with your daughter?
Ridiculous! How can
a decent lady queue up in street?
It's true
My daughter is
a famous multifarious woman!
Is that true?
It's predicted by my family doctor
A famous doctor's words are believable
Sorry
My daughter has good luck!
See her horoscope
it matches with your son
If you don't believe it
just have a look
From the birth date, it means good luck!
It's a rare horoscope!
Congratulations!
She has heart attack!
Let me send her some inner air
Have a pill
I am too happy! I am fine
Have a pill, it'll be safe
What?
Stay calm, Chiu's family wants
to choose a wife for Master Chiu
So I took your horoscope to try
I heard that the potential candidates
will be granted a house
I can't imagine
that you would be chosen immediately
So, I accepted some dowry
You are selling me
Apparently yes, practically no
Since you have to attend the wedding
But you needn't sleep
with the bridegroom
Basically...
You'd better go yourself!
And, if you want me to sleep with him
you'd better disguise me
Alright, if someone pays me $500
I don't mind being screwed
Just pretend to marry him
and put the ether into the wine
We can get the money
and go into fugitive!
Do you mean it?
I know I can't cheat you at all
I've got 100 taels
of gold exchange coupon
Any trick behind?
It's believable!
From the famous bank, Wing Hing Bank
No, I mean the ether
I think the rich guys
just wanna fool the bridegroom
They have nothing new to play, you know?
I know, but this is a shame!
The money is enough for us
to build up a family
We may move to a distant place
and run small business
You can marry with someone else
to start a new living
We needn't wander off then
If your descendants know
you've made such sacrifice
They'll be proud of you
The whole family will be proud of you
The whole nation
will be proud of you too
Think over it
No, I wanna insist my principle
What is that?
Other than necessary expenses
I want 70% of the profit
You'll have 30%
50-50
60-40
Deal
Brother Ford, today is your big day
If you go out
you may miss the lucky time
Lucky time or not
it's all up to my decision!
Dear friends, uncles
buddies and classmates
Now I'm holding the Flower Cracker
If you get it, ring the gong over there
you'll be the winner
I always talk much
but I'd like to stop here
You needn't place it in such high place
This is a special arrangement
it's placed up there for special luck
Won't you mind it?
Forget it, let's fight for it now!
Master Ford, please take a seat
Go to work
Brother Ford, do you wanna sit on this
to fight for the cracker?
Only the fools will fight for it
I'm coming to receive it
Excuse me Forget it, work hard
Don't waste my time
Let me see whether the boat
has arrived or not
What are you looking at? Nothing
I discovered that you are quite pretty
You remind me of your deceased mom
Cut the crap, or you won't stop
Alright, remember
after putting the ether into the wine
We'll leave this place
for our new life!
Miss, Master Ford will come
to pick you up soon
Hurry up, move!
Fool! Go, go!
Move a bit over!
All are fools!
Bring me a bamboo
Catch up
Master Ford, Mister Sha is coming
towards you, be careful
I feel bad omen!
I'd better prepare a pad for Master Ford
Take it!
Do you want it?
Do you wanna fight with me?
Give it to me?
Catch it
Hold it!
You addict, bring me a bamboo
Hurry up! You creep!
Sway me over there
Use more force!
Got you!
You trash!
Don't let him get the gong
The cracker is still over there!
Go and catch it
Don't come up, or it'll fall
Forget it, go!
What are you doing?
Brother Ford, it's loose!
No... No!
What's up?
What?
Why hasn't Master Ford come?
I can't imagine that
when I went for the pad
And I took a nap on it
then it became a mess!
Where is Master Ford...?
Master Ford...
I won at last!
How dare you compete with me?
Come here
We come to get the bride
What are you doing?
Where are you going to?
Let the bride down first
Where are you going?
Let the bride down
where are you going?
Master Jack asked you to wait
for him in the room
Enrich the electricity
How?
Turn with force!
Use an aged ginseng, an aged gyrophora
aged orange peel
And add a fresh cabbage
Cook it with 100 bowls of water
to be one bowl of herbal tea
We can't wake him up by electricity
So, it's a failure
Have you heard of Asinosinopet?
It's a kind of medicine
It's specially for insomnia and nerve
It'll let the patient have sound sleep
Master Ford hasn't waken up
do you still want him to sleep?
This is for Madam
How is Ford?
No big deal
but we don't know when he'll wake up
Chinese doctors
are not scientific enough
Obviously
Master Ford's brain has been stroke
Simply speaking, that's coma
I'm sure he'll wake up
But when?
May be an hour later
May be half a century
Bullshit!
Madam...
Let me save Madam...
I'll give her injection
Watch my inner air
Injection! Use air!
Bitch, shut up and listen to me
I'm Doctor Chan
I have rich foreign medical knowledge
You'd listen to me
You are liar!
Stop arguing
think something to save Ford
I've found apoplexia
in Master Ford's brain
We should cut his head off
and take the blood cube out
How can he live any more?
I'd better use my inner air to cure him
Chop his head Inner air
Better chop your head off!
Inner air...
My dear chicken
Master Ford loves eating chicken congee
Let me catch you, don't move
Be good, let me kill you
I'm sure you won't have any pain
Don't move...
How are you?
How are you?
It's you!
It's you!
I can't imagine that it's you!
I can't imagine that it's you
How are you?
It's you!
I can't imagine that it's you!
How are you?
It's you!
I can't imagine that it's you
I'm Doctor Chan
I'm rich in foreign medical knowledge
I've found apoplexia in your brain
I have to cut your head
and get rid of the blood
Cut the head
I wanna catch you, don't move
Let me cut you
I'm sure you won't feel pain
You'll die with ease
Finished? How do you feel?
It's itchy!
Are you sleepy?
Kill him
You...
I'm Chiu Jack
He...
He's Chiu Ford
If you don't kill him
our trick will be discovered
I just come for money, I won't kill
People always kill for money!
Will you be that childish?
Don't you think you can get
$500 just by putting ether in wine?
Go!
Ford... Master Ford...
Ford...
Madam...
Let me use my inner air
Keep your medicine and your air away
She is too old
It's almost time...
Your business is finished
Go
We'll tell others that
this woman came to kill Ford for money
Is that a good idea?
This is the fact
Right, this is the fact
We'll tell others this story
Master Jack
we'll follow you from now on
Madam, don't worry
I'll take good care of Master Ford
He is so lovely now
I can't imagine that
after I've cooked the chicken congee...
Madam, do you have
enough paper money to spend?
Master Ford has gone
to a distant place for fun
Set the spirit tablet
inside the house, but...
Don't let me see it
Master Ford, burn some incense for Madam
Master Ford...
Where are you? Master Ford
Thread and fragrant bags...
Boss, if you don't go now
you can't catch the boat
OK... I have to hurry to leave now
Waiter, check please
I'll be the boss this time
One, two, three
Take good care
Thank you for your concern
We're friends!
Take care of other people
How are you? Are you alright?
I'm fine!
Did I tear your clothes?
No
So, forget it
I've bought something for you
What's that?
Jade bracelet
So pretty
Did you ask for any discount?
Sure, but he didn't agree!
He said he'd give me discount next time
Why don't you buy it next time?
Never mind, just try it
It's a bit bigger
It doesn't matter
it fits me when I become fat
Why do you send me this jade bracelet?
You sent me a handkerchief last time
I sent you that
for you repaired the door of my toilet
I repaired that
for you sent me carrot cake
Boss, I'm long waiting!
If you don't leave now
we can't catch the boat!
Alright...
Let's go. You're wasting time!
I have to leave for 2 weeks to a month
I wanna buy some goods
and receive some order for you
I've made some leek dumplings for you
Don't you know I hate leek?
Really? I'll give it to my dad
Boss, cut the crap
or we can't catch the boat!
Just a few words left
I have to go now
Well, when I'm back...
I will... you!
Let's talk when you're back, OK?
Alright, I'm leaving, take care
Good bye...
Good bye
Good bye...
Good bye
You're so nagging! Go now! See you
See you...
What's up? Take it back!
Get lost! Don't scare my clients
Are you leaving? You beggar!
Leave now!
Sweet sugar cane...
How dare you steal my sugar cane?
I wanna beat you to death...
Damn beggar, I'll beat you to death
Steal my sugar cane?
How dare you! Are you looking for death?
Go away You still wanna go?!
I wanna beat you to death!
Give way...
Go to hell...
Why did you beat him? Stop!
You're killing him, you know?
How about he stole my sugar cane?
And how about my jade bracelet?
I don't care!
It's your bad luck
Take it
Where are you going?
To the toilet
The toilet is over that!
How dare a beggar knock our door
for food. Get lost...
Isn't he... Yes
What a serious matter!
Go and answer the door now!
The door is loose
we're just repairing it now
Go to sleep, haven't you seen anyone
repairing the door?
We haven't eaten dinner yet!
Eat while you fall asleep!
Go to sleep now
Eat it while I fall asleep?
Just try
Take it
It's delicious
I've caught you!
Have they gone?
Yes
We moved here so as to escape anyone
from Chiu's family
Do you want trouble
by taking him back home?
Don't you think I mean it?
You can't let him stay here
take him back to his home
You said we cheated Chiu's money
If we go back now
we're surrendering ourselves
We can't let him stay here
But we can't send him back
What'll we do?
The only way is...
to kill him
I've got ready
Move it
What's up?
You said you gonna kill him
I don't mean it
Keep your promise, move it
Chop from his head
I'll catch his blood by the bucket
And then cut him into pieces
Sell whatever worthwhile;
eat whatever edible
If we can't eat all, just send it
to others for making dumplings
So, no one will discover
our trick anymore
Why are you standing here?
Why do you hold so many things?
For collecting his blood
Are you scared?
I am a girl
If I couldn't chop his head off
his head will be hanging...
and the blood will spray
to everywhere...
What are you doing?
Stab him
So the blood won't spray to everywhere
and he'll die at once
Where to stab?
According to this Killing handbook
Stab from his chest, he'll die at once
Where?
Between the 3rd and the 4th rib
You're the master of the family
you do it
You suggested to kill him
You do it No way, you try
I'm giving you a chance to show off
No thanks
Go ahead You do it
I'll count to three, and you do it
One
Two
Two and a half
Three
Bingo! It's stabbed in
It hurts! It really hurts
What are you laughing at?
Since I've seen your cheerful look
Where are you going?
What do you say?
Stop
Or you'll wake up our neighbours
Stop! You'll wake up the neighbours
Don't wake others up...
Stop! Come down!
Take off your clothes
I haven't asked you
to compensate my hand
I will let you pay in future
Take off your clothes and take a bath
Come on!
Take off your clothes and take a bath!
Take off your clothes and take a bath
Damn it
Damn it
Since you love copying other's words
Follow me
Take off the clothes
How about the pants?
Take a look after the bath
You're not young, but you don't know
how to wear your clothes!
This is the address of your home
If anyone asks you, just show him
This is money, place it properly
And
Dee!
Dee!
Dee
Fool, we're nice to dress you up!
Yeah
You're not called Fool
you're called Ford
Ford
Ford
Ford
Cut the crap, set up now. Fool
Daddy...
I am not called Fool, call me Ford
Really? When were you named Ford?
Just for a while
Good...
You're sweating!
Look!
You!
I've caught you!
If you wanna make money, come over here
Bet more, you will win more...
Give way...
Tell me the past records
Small
Alright, small!
I've waited you for ages
why are you so late?
Open!
5, 5 and 3, total 13, big!
You lost!
Lost?
I have a precious jewel
I wanna change it with you
Jewel?
Boss, how much can you pay for it?
20 cents
Alright, deal
Bet on Big!
Open
Three 6s, all lost
It's really big
Boss, how much will you pay for him?
Damn you!
Look at him! He's strong and tall
and he's productive too
Give him a smile
At least he worths $2
You give me $2 and
I'll help you to throw him away
You nuts!
I just wanted to know the possibility
you needn't be that fierce!
You've gone too far
Run, stop bothering me
Don't bother me!
Your jewel is too hard!
Forget it
Just go to play
and don't bother me again
Boss, you're so smart to choose
this jade bracelet
Mister, you haven't paid yet
Not enough!
What's wrong? It's stone!
If you don't have enough money
just return the bracelet to me
Such nice packing! It must be expensive
Do you wanna destroy the evidences?
Where have you been early
in the morning?
Yesterday I was bothered by that fool
for one whole night
That's why I have to go for tea now
He comes again!
Dee!
Ford is back
Let's have something to eat
None of my business
he comes back by himself
You took $2 from me
& you're responsible to take him away
Go again
Again?
Give me another $2
One more! Go as far as you can
Deal
Help... I beg you, you've followed me
for one whole day
Don't follow me. Go and play alone
I'm tired. I want a rest
If you're busy, just leave me alone
I can catch you up
The ass!
Bite, stop hesitating! Bite!
Help...
Come and help!
What's the matter?
How come?
Take him in
Take him in too... important to save him
Ford, what's happened?
It must be food poisoning
How can a toe get food poisoned?
No! He must be bitten by snake
Right, his tongue
must be bitten by snake
And he used his toe to loose his mouth
So his toe is poisoned too
Stop guessing
Since my toe was bitten by snake
He used his mouth
to suck the poisoned juice out
Dee, come here
Ford saved my life
I think we should let him stay
and take care of him
Who is Ford?
He's the neighbour of a friend
of my cousin's wife
I met him coincidently on the road
Does he have any family?
Why don't you send him home?
He's the only son of his family
Before he was born, his parents died
Before he was born?
He climbed out from the grave
isn't it scaring?
I'm not scared!
He has no relatives
so he comes here to live with us
We decided to let him stay
It's deal, OK?
Yes
So, it's time for me to faint now!
For 6 yards of silk
each yard costs $04.3
For 8 yards of blue cotton
each yard costs $02.8
And, for 14 yards of organdie
each yard costs $03.6
Plus the rest of it...
Total is $9.86
Correct
And, you offer 10% discount to us
Total is $8.88
Just forget the change, say a total $8
Is the bargaining correct?
He is faster than a calculator
He is your good assistant
What is his name?
He's called Ford
Nice to meet you. Come and buy more!
Please take care of us
Brother Ford, thank you so much!
Please take care
Magic ice bar, 2 cents each
It'll stop hyperprexia and you won't
get sunstroke after having one
If you don't take any
you'll get sunstroke
Let's go
We are not buying
We still have some sweet soup left
It's really hot
Will you get sunstroke?
Take a rest
It's really hot!
Ford
Where are you going, Ford?
Ford...
Ford...
Ford, where have you been?
Help...
Shit, why the ice bar is getting smaller
and smaller?
I didn't take any of it
Hurry up...
Don't you feel cool?
Feeling better?
It's cool
Feeling cool?
Give me 2 cents, I haven't paid yet
You're great!
You've stood for two hours
Aren't you tired?
Not too tired, but I feel itchy
Wonderful, you needn't close your eyes
It's true
Ford is too easy going!
Just to make others happy
He'll do anything you request
Is that true?
If you don't believe it, just try
Call me dad
Call me Ford
Ford
Dad
Call me Beauty Queen for ten times
Ford
Beauty Queen...
I feel shy!
He isn't kind, but just a fool
I am not fool, call me Ford
You can call me anything
but you can't call me Fool
Why do you bother him?
They are not bothering him
They just fool him
How is the business?
That rich lady wants to see
the fashion tomorrow
Look at the material
how can we show her?
She knows it's cheap just
by a small touch!
How can we cheat the customers?
So, think something new, say packaging!
What's new?
Just think something
Do you mean this?
Yes
Miss Natasha Kimski Lowahdelowa
please have some tea
Make it simple, just call me Anna
Alright, Miss Natasha Kimski Lowahdelowa
I've got ready your dresses
Show me now
For such decent customers like you
It's so nice of you
to tailor fashion in our shop
How can we show you in a common way?
What does that mean?
Please enjoy it
First of all
you'll see the high-classed fashion
It's of decent design...
with 1st classed tailoring
And the material is
the top graded wool... plus Dacron
So when you walk
you'll feel cool and fresh
How can you feel cool
when wearing wool plus Dacron?
It's because of top-graded material
Who is this guy?
He is the model of our shop
He is so famous in this field
What's his name?
He is called Ford
This is the sport wear
designed for the royal family
When you wear it
you'll feel great!
The pattern is fancy looking
What's on his chest?
To cover the hole
No, the designer is called Cover Ho
Yeah...
The pattern is really fancy looking
How about the one I love most?
Can you show me now?
Right away
He doesn't want to get changed
May I be excused?
Where is she going?
She runs fast
she must be hurrying to toilet
Get changed. Hurry up No
Why not? What are you doing?
This clothes is too disgusting!
Who said so?
They all tease me
See, they are all teasing me
They...
They tease you since they like you
Is that true?
Yes
I laugh at you too
So, you mean you like me?
Sure
Get changed
That model is so famous
may be he's putting on an air
He'll come out soon
He's coming
Really? Wonderful!
This clothes is the mixture
of wildness and culture
Please enjoy it
The last one is a mixture
of fancies and illusions
It can be a night gown
or a gown before sleeping
You're so bad
It's sexy and sentimental
What a terrific show
Wonderful...
Come here, I wanna talk to you
Come on
I love those clothes very much
Thank you
On the 7th of this month
a banquet will be held in my place
I'll introduce some businesses to you
Good
But my friends are all rich
they're experts in fashion too
Don't lose my face
But, you have to bring Ford along
Don't worry. He'll go with us
Don't forget that
Thank you, bye bye
Where are you going?
I wanna buy something
Boss, do you have any book
about tailoring?
Yes
I want the most advanced editions
Don't touch
How about these? Incredible
Tailoring & Invincible Needlework
They're published in Tang Dynasty
How much is it?
Including this
This is funny, a girl disguised
to be a boy to court another boy
But the boy didn't know
that she was a girl
Can you read?
What's the matter? Ford...
What's wrong with you?
Leung San-pai died
Chuck Ying-toi died too!
Ford, please don't cry
Don't cry. Sit down
Don't cry
They became a pair of butterflies
And they flew happily here and there
they were so happy
Fly here and there? Yes
What will we become after our death?
Have some dragon eyes
When sewing silk
you can't use thick needle
When sewing cotton
thin needle won't work
When sewing leather
fingers will bleed easily
For linen, it's hard to...
To make burls!
Yeah...
I'll remember that
One for you and one for me...
This is his, why did you eat his?
Ford, get changed now
Where are we going to?
To the banquet
He'll stay
Cut the crap
He'll mess everything up
What?
Miss Anna appointed him to go with us
We have to take him there
You can tell from the first sight
that the fat woman is fond of Ford
We can't let her stay too close to him
So Ford can be her dream lover forever
What lover?
Ford, choose a handkerchief for me
Which one?
Search the prettiest one for me please
Go
Daughter, here is big. Stay close to me
Behave yourself
? ? # ?
What did he say?
I don't know
Dee!
You've come!
Dee
Dee and dad
@ ? # ? ? * *
Why didn't you wait for me?
You've come!
I intended to pick you up
When I arrived your workshop
I just found Ford alone
So I came with him
Don't you mind that?
Of course not!
Ford said he didn't want to come
Come and take a seat
This is a rich merchant from Sinkiang
Mr. Hamihua
He wants to tailor some new clothes
to Sinkiang
Great...
This suit is made in their shop
isn't it pretty?
About sewing technique, that's fair
But the material used is so poor
Who are you, granny?
If you don't know tailoring
please shut up
My master is the royal tailor
Mr. Gerdano
And he is the boss
of the famous fashion shop Boo Sin Ni
Sorry, I didn't say anything
Miss, how can these clothes
match you and Mr. Hamihua?
What did you say?
These clothes are so pretty
This is...
He is the model of their shop, Mr. Ford
I haven't heard
of such post of a tailor shop!
What's your design famous for?
All the clothes are sewed by Dee
How special?
We sewed that according to the Tailoring
handbook of Tang Dynasty
For silk and lustre
no thick needle should be used
For cotton...
Thin needle will break easily
For sewing leather
fingers will bleed easily
For linen... it's hard to make burls
With the technique
written in the Invincible Needlework
49 drop stitches
64 plain stitches...
Plus...
Five one three, 13, big
And then three sixes, all lost
Everyone lost
Sorry
What he means is...
there are 18 kinds of color
It's really pretty
Why not show me some samples?
Don't you have any?
Mr. Hamihua, beware of being cheated
For many people, they just want to cheat
I don't mean to pick on anyone
Be very careful of those who just talk!
Miss Anna, we are leaving
Why? I've just drunk the soup
Let's go. We have much work to do
I've finished all my work
And I've brought
the handkerchief you want
This is the prettiest one
Where did you get it?
This is his stuff
Show me
Come on, show me
It's sewed according to
the Invincible Needlework
Look at this dragon
The color is so bright
and the figure is so good
A great one!
Where did you learn such lost technique?
It's no big deal
All my workers know such technique
? ? # ? * ? ?
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
Mr. Hamihua wants to order
50 suits of clothes from you
But you have to deliver the clothes
within ten days
No problem...
Deal
We'll prepare some samples for you first
Please stay
Never mind, Ford won't go
he'll stay behind to accompany you
You may come back late
I don't mind if you won't come back
Great...
Daughter, let's go
Dee
? ? # ? * ? ?
What did they say?
He said Dee has fallen into a well
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
What's wrong with you?
Dee...
Ford, I'm up there
You're up there!
Catch the bucket
Thank you
Dee
Dee's ass is being clipped
Pull it out...
Be careful
I worry too much!
Ford, I was almost scared
I worry about you, you know?
I'm afraid you would be drowned
are you alright?
Answer me, come on!
I worry about you, you know?
Last time, I followed your instruction
to sell with worms
But I couldn't sell any catty of it
The villagers went
to next village to buy rice
I followed your instruction
to beat the worker on strike
But he died on that night
Thus, it made more workers on strike
I bribed the official as you said
however
He's now charging us of bribery
In Chiu's family
Every male of all generations
Should wear an ear-ring
crafted with poems
The moon in front of the bed
It's suspected to be...
So and so...
Good poem!
It's Chiu Ford's poem
I think mine is better
Sing it to me
Spring flower...
Sing!
Spring flower and autumn...
Sing!
Spring flower and autumn moon...
how can you remember all the past...
Last night in the balcony...
Ford is still alive?
What's the use of ears
which can't hear?
Bomb it
Go ahead
Don't use less gold thread
to sew the dragon
How come! We used
the famous brand of gold thread
This is a big business of us
don't miss the delivery date
Don't worry. I'll fix it
Isn't Ford homeless?
No
What's the relationship between you two?
What do you think?
I wish you had no relationship with him
We have no relationship at all
Miss Anna, you mean...
I like Ford, I wanna...
I think, Ford will...
Miss Anna, you're so wise!
I wish to bring Ford back to my hometown
Where is your hometown?
It's in Sinkiang
13.35 miles south-east
of Nima mountain range
I own the whole mountain range
What a distant place
It doesn't seem to be alright
Come to pick him up
early tomorrow morning
Are you crazy?
Why don't make use of this chance
to send him away?
That's a distant place!
I wish it'd be as far as possible
So he won't remind me
of the evil deed I've done!
By the way, Nick is coming back soon
If he finds that a fool
is living with us
How can I explain to him?
Are you scared?
I'll give you 10 days' time
if you can't pay, I'll double the interest
And I'll teach you a great lesson
I'll burn your house too
I lost my money only
I didn't borrow money from you!
I'm sorry...
I lost the money for buying gold thread
what'll I do?
You have to pay cash
for the high quality thread
GOLD you know? You nuts!
I can pay you after delivering my goods
I beg you... Get lost!
I beg you, please help...
Scar face Keung
What's the matter?
No big deal. It's just light injuries
I've told you to dump
the old urine holder! Buy a new one
No, I'm used to the old one
By the way
it's hard to find a suitable size for me
You're not economical at all
I wash daily!
Have you bought the gold thread?
Yes, it's ordered
and it'll be delivered tomorrow
I just wanna sleep now
What're you doing?
You asked me to put
all my favorite things on the table
Now, I place everything
I like on the table
You laugh, that means you like me
You have good memory
You laugh happily
so do you like me very much?
Isn't it? Isn't it?
Don't go
Dee...
Let me tell you
I like you too
Dee!
Tomorrow you have to go to Sinkiang
What?
Anna said she wants
to take you to Sinkiang
Are you going?
I won't go
If you don't go with me, I won't go
When you arrive Sinkiang
you can be the master
Anna likes you
You like me too
If you don't go, I'll get angry
Alright, I'll go there for just one day
You won't come back
So great!
You're back!
Yes
I've opened the door
to wait for your return!
Why did you fly in?
Kid, I warn you
don't tell others that you've seen me
But everyone knows that I've seen you
He should hide up nearby
go and search Yes
Just ahead
Don't tell others that it's stolen by me
Right here, go in
He is here
That's him
Freeze!
Don't go!
What's the matter?
How dare you steal?
Catch him
Yes
Why so noisy?
He stole my gold thread
What's the matter?
They said Ford stole their gold thread
Nuts! What proof do you have?
See?
This gold thread
is linking my shop up here
You're caught red-handed
Don't go
Let's talk!
I think it must be a misunderstanding
Don't you think so?
You look familiar to me
Well, it's pre-destiny for us
to meet each other!
Let's forget it
How come?
What made me feel furious is
he stole the urine holder of mine
So cheap!
Maybe he appreciates
your urine holder very much
Thus he can steal it then, can't he?
Beat him!
Wait...
How about if it isn't stolen by him
what'll you do?
Did you steal it?
What made you think it's me
who stole it?
I'm a righteous person!
You won't tell me who did it
and he didn't admit it
Where does this gold thread come from?
Speak up
Who gave it to you?
Don't you confess?
Stop beating him
Ask the thief to confess then
I'm so old now...
Nobody admits that?
Beat him!
Enough, he is only a fool
That's why he didn't react! He is a fool
Either catch him to the police
or take the compensation
Say $18
You bastard! You charged me $13
in this morning!
I've brought so many buddies here
I need to pay them!
How about 15, take it or leave it
Alright, I'm being nice! Let's go
If you don't go
I'll teach you a good lesson
Ford, are you alright?
You bastard! You didn't say a word!
Now, you're so enthusiastic!
Go to sleep...
Go back
Brother Ford, you're my buddy!
I want you to be my brother
You're righteous & passionate!
I am not called Fool
I am Ford
Are you hurt?
No
but I feel painful
He's angry. He's angry with you
Anyway, he has no chance to get angry
with me again
Ford... what are you looking for?
You've hid so many things!
What are you looking?
Don't you want to leave
for hiding all these?
Just go ahead
I'm leaving
I don't want others to be unhappy
Let us help you No
Let him do it himself
Brother Ford, have you packed up?
What's wrong with your face?
Just a little accident, a light injury
See your buttons! The order is all wrong
I intended to do it
You're so funny
My man bothered you for a long time
I should pay some money
as his living expenses No
How about $50?
Alright...
Why not make it $88?
Just to be lucky
Alright, just as you like
Thank you
Let's share the money from selling Ford
Don't take those unnecessary things
Don't touch my stuff, I like them most
Just let him take it away
You'll have anything in my place
it's a waste to take it along!
I'm leaving
only if you're feeling happy
Yes
Dee
Nick?
Dee, do you miss me? I miss you so much!
If you don't miss me, it'll upset me
Let's talk about it later
Why not now?
I've made up my mind on the boat
I really have careful consideration...
I wanna marry you
Ford Yes!
Don't go! I haven't left at all
You can't stay
If he stay, we'll be dead meat
if his secret is disclosed
Who is Ford?
Who is Ford?
He is my husband Stop!
We have had wedding before Stop!
We cheated other's money
So we moved here in order
to escape from his family
What'll I do?
What'll I do then?
I don't know
Show me a turn please!
There isn't any difference
after this incident
So, it won't do any harm to us
Yeah, no harm at all
Ford, are their words true?
Ford, let's go
Ford... Stop chasing
Butterfly!
Leung San-pai and Chuck Ying-toi
Why not catch them? No
Why?
They are so happy!
If we catch them and then set them free
they'll be happier!
How come? You fool
I am not fool, I am Ford
I like fool
So I am fool, I am not Ford
Daddy...
Daddy...
How are you? Wake up please
Dad, how are you?
Please don't leave me alone
Dad...
Dad...
He wakes up now
I was beaten
and I just wanted to take a rest
Why did you beat me?
What happened?
Some rascals rushed in to look for Ford
They look so fierce
so I told them that Ford's gone to Sinkiang
Why did they beat you then?
When I was beaten, I over-heard that
They said they had to do
something anyway
Who are they? Nasty people
I can't imagine that, I couldn't inform
you on time because of a nap
Thus it caused a mess...
Master Ford, I miss you
I thought you were a scumbag
Who knows, Master Jack
is worse 10 times than you
I know you! Why do you cry?
Let me wipe the tears for you
Don't move... Be good!
Shit! Master Ford
why are you so kind-hearted?
What's wrong with kind-hearted?
You don't know!
Your great-uncle, remember?
He comes back to celebrate his birthday
after knowing your death
And he wants to name Jack
be the number one of Chiu's family
You'd make use of this rare chance
to disclose the secret and trick of Jack
But how can he fight with Jack now?
Who want him to fight with Jack?
I do! Those rascals beaten me up
for I've sharp tongue
I can stand it
But they burnt my workshop!
I have to take revenge for that
We have to take this chance!
Why not just sell this workshop
and start all over again?
I haven't said an honest words
in all these years
Today, you have to give me a chance
As an old Chinese saying
a man should be bold and brave
I won't care being charged of cheating!
If we have a light punishment
I'll be beaten once
Worse to worst
I'll be exiled for 10 years
Even I'll be beaten to death
I won't complain a word
I just want Ford to be a real man!
Who cares what will happen to us?
I'll be right back
Ford agrees that too
So, we decided to train Ford
To train Ford
Oh, Dee's dad!
Don't be too impulsive, warm up first...
The head breaks!
Stay calm...
What are we doing?
We just go to join a birthday party
why should we practise so hard?
Go back...
It's takes long time to climb down!
Wao
I have a hope
I hope Master Ford heart less & cool
I have a hope
I hope only hatred is filled
in Ford's heart
I have a hope
I hope Ford has no love
Remember
this is the nasty guy Chiu Jack
On the birthday
don't escape from his eyesight
No matter how, stare at him
Chiu Ford is notorious
for scolding people
To scold others "Cheap"
is the basic lesson you need
Cheap
Cheap
Cheap...
Since you have to attend
a birthday party, you'd drink some wine
So you have to practise drinking
Wisdom is a must to defeat Chiu Jack
So, this is the best training
Here! You are so stupid!
Master Ford, walk smartly!
Master Ford, you did it
But I think there is something missing
Ford
Don't laugh
Don't laugh
Wear it
Great-uncle, wish you happy birthday!
Great-uncle, have a birthday drink
Now, everyone is employed in Chiu's Town
I can't even see a beggar or a wild dog
Let's celebrate it, take a seat...
Let's take a seat
How much will you be paid?
If one has line to say, he'll get
$5, if not, he'll get $2
When can we go home?
After confirming Chiu Jack
be the number one of Chiu's family
Don't panic, stare at him
Who are you?
Stab at him!
Cheap
Cheap
Chiu's Town becomes peaceful
and prosperous
Jack, you have done a good job
It's my duty
But, I haven't a proper title
So I feel difficult
in carrying some jobs
Now I announce...
the number one of Chiu's family...
Cheap...
Go that way
Cheap...
Aren't you lost?
Cheap...
Not this one, speak
I come here to take back my belongings
Ford, where have you been?
Where have you been?
For fun
For fun too
That two persons...
They are my fellows
Brother Ford
where have you been in these days?
I worry so much...
Great-uncle, I think
before his disappearance, he's gone crazy
And he hasn't recovered yet
I don't think so
Go!
He's really crazy and he's a bit hot
I hear noise in his brain
I think he's inclination of violence
It's better to send him to hospital
Send him to a western hospital
No, Chinese hospital
Western hospital
Chinese hospital
Stop!
They are all your men
I have a fair way to prove
whether he is a fool or not
Witness
I prove that Master Ford isn't a fool
Evidence
Ford, what's this?
Sausage
Bingo
How can a fool recognise sausage?
From the witness and the evidence
provided, he isn't a fool
How can you say sausages are evidence?
Great-uncle, he is a fool
You are a fool
Well, I have my way to prove it
Now, we'll prove it by a quiz
We'll know who is a real fool soon
Let us introduce our competitors
Chiu Ford's team
Damn it!
Chiu Jack's team
Who answers correctly will get a mark
no mark for wrong answer
Who rings the bell first may answer
and may reanswer after a wrong answer
The competition starts
What're the 4 great inventions of China?
Congee, noodles, vermicelli and rice
Wrong! Any answer?
Fire-work, compass, paper...
Printing
Printing!
Yes, one mark for Jack
Kidding?
How come my answers are wrong?
Fire-work and compass?
Nothing is edible!
The competition goes on
Why do we see lightning
before hearing thunderstorm?
I don't know
I give up
Why did you ring the bell?
To show my grievance!
Any answer?
I give up too
It's very simple
Since our eyes are in front of the ears
Damn it! Can you ask simple questions?
Get out
You are so mean!
Go, go to the back, go...
You deserve it!
You have to leave too
What are you looking at?
Other than those named Chiu
everyone should leave here
Whose fellows give hints or shout
I'll deduct the mark of his side
Now, Chiu Jack got one mark
How can a horse eat an elephant?
Cause the horse is hungry
Wrong, any answer?
Since it's a chess game
Right, have one mark
In one's life
what words are spoken most?
I don't know
Right, the answer is "I don't know"
One mark for Ford
Great!
Congratulations!
What are you doing?
None of your business, sit down...
You are great
A goat has a blind left eye
There is mutton on his left
and a chicken leg on his right
What will it eat first?
Chicken leg, a goat won't eat mutton
Wrong
Goat eats grass, you fool!
Right, one mark for Ford, break even
Great-uncle
how can you ask such tricky questions?
These are copied from the entrance exam
of Cambridge University
If you are not satisfied, you may quit
Give up if you like
Congratulations, you have another mark
Are you kidding? It doesn't matter
Have one more glass of wine
He can't drink You drink then
Drink it...
I didn't say anything You're great!
I didn't hear anything
Next, what is Confucious famous for?
He is a famous old man
I read such question before
Yes, one more mark for Jack
Left behind
Master Ford
Master Ford, congratulations!
I didn't answer correctly
Your relative answered correctly
it's just the same
Why not drink it together?
If you don't drink with me
I won't drink
Let's have a happy time
Come on. You like it
Drink...
A pregnant woman was kicked
But she wasn't hurt, why?
Since the kick wasn't strong enough
I know
Her baby kicked her
Good answer
I mean the kick of the baby
wasn't strong enough
No argue. Three to three, break even
He's drunk!
Bravo!
Since you've broken even
Following is action section
Trifle ring
Bravo! I've got it!
You first
You first
You needn't be that nice to me
Double trick?
This isn't fair, once again
I'll go first
Don't you think I'm nobody?
You can't say no! Four to three
I announce Jack is a fool
I've said I ain't a fool at all
He's a fool! Bravo!
Your tail has fallen
No
It hasn't fallen
You may ask someone else
Dee, has my tail fallen down?
She said no!
No? Why are there
so many people teasing you?
They like me, so they laugh
They don't like you
so they won't tease you
They like you, so they tease you
Little girl, did you tease him
because you like him?
Of course not! He's a fool
No, I'm not a fool
No, I'm not a fool
Brother Ford
what will a female pig give birth to
Little pig
How about a bitch?
Doggie
How about a fool?
Little fool
Right, you'll give birth
to a little fool in future
When little fool grows up
he'll become a big fool
Then he'll be teased
Just like what you've just experienced
Dee, let's go
You haven't taken back your belongings
I have everything
Let's go
Ford is my brother
he doesn't need your care
Catch him
I wanna go home
Hands off
Although he's crazy
he's my brother anyway
Great-uncle
I'll take care of him until he dies
Send Ford to his home
Put your hands off...
I wanna go home
Home!
Dee...
I wanna go home!
Ford!
Do you wanna go?
Run!
What's the matter?
How dare you compete with me?
Come here
Come here
How did my mom die?
She had heart attack but
Jack didn't allow to let her take pills
How did you know that?
I was around Why?
Jack gave me $500 and asked me
to have fake marriage with you
You adopted me for you pitied me
or, didn't you regret?
Both reasons
Nothing else?
Let me think
Are you pig?
No
Are you dog?
Are you human?
Yes
Damn it!
You are worse than pig or dog
How did my mom die?
In fact... Shut up!
Leave here now
and never cure people again
Thank you, Master Ford
What are you doing?
None of your business
you'll know it later
Speak up
Can't I defeat you in my life?
Yes!
If only I wanna compete with you
I don't believe it
I wanna fight with you!
I don't think I can't defeat you!
It's ridiculous!
Mom, you aimed sharply
Hold the spirit tablet of my mom
Yes
Now, you understand everything?
Yes
Will you take the seat
to be the number one?
Damn it!
Where's Dee?
She's kicked away by you
I'm Siu Ming
I'm Siu Ming. I'm a good boy
I want to study. I'm going to school
Serve him right
But he's happy. That's good
He's so tough! He wants to take revenge!
Let's run for our lives!
Let's split up and meet
in the abandoned temple
What do you want, Mr. Chiu?
Except pity and regret
any other reason made you adopt me?
No
You can't cheat me
Either let me go
or sue me
Take me to the police
I wanna lock you up
for the rest of your life
Why? What crime did I commit?
We've married!
I drank the wedding wine!
That's ether
Don't you worry I would harm you again?
It's predestined that
you would control my life
If you didn't go crazy
will you fall for me?
If I didn't go crazy
will you fall for me?
Sure
Cause you're rich
I can tell you're money-minded
If not greedy for your wealth
don't you think I'm attracted
by your handsome look?
That's right
Miss, I'm glad to see you!
I promised
to treat you bean cube this year
I've found you for hours
Take it now, but I think you have to
fight for it again
Fix it yourself You'd better leave
Sorry...
I think we'll enjoy
this bean cube tonight
Do you still have time to enjoy it?
What else can be done
other than eating bean cube?
Do you want me to remind you
Brother Ford?
I'm not Brother Ford
I'm your fool
Do you wanna escape?
Wanna go?
This is the 9th one
You
What are you reading?
You don't know it
Just tell him
Have you heard of Shakespeare?
Who are you?
Miss Alibaba is the Beauty Queen
chosen from all prostitute houses
She accompanies with me
for a tour this time
and we'll get the Flower Cracker
from Chiu's Town
Judging from your name
you don't seem to be local people
My grandma was the princess
of Ching Dynasty
So, you're a princess
Are you Princess Margaret
or Princess Diana?
Don't get angry I tell you
I wanna buy your grasshopper
how much is it?
You're giving others a chance
to insult you
Look at my grasshopper
It's so strong. Look at that
It's called Invincible God of Fighting
I bought this especially to defeat yours
So, how can I sell it to you?
Don't you think you can
buy anything with money? Yes
Well, let's have another bet
I've just lost $5,000
Let's bet ten thousand this time
Master Ford
we just have one grasshopper left
and this isn't a well-trained one
Thank you!
Do you want me to scold you again?
Are you giving me advantage?
How to bet this time?
Same rule, which grasshopper dies
first is the loser
How long will the race take?
It's up to you Fine!
Seal it
Set them free after ten years
Let's see whether your Invincible
God Of Fighters will die or not
What do you want?
I just wanna fool you
Give that grasshopper to me
Come and get it after ten years
I wanna buy it back
3 times of its price?
How about 4 times? 5 times?
I don't care about money
I don't have much money
but my wealth isn't less than others
Freeze!
Do you know where you are standing?
It is Chiu's Town
Do you know my surname is Chiu?
If I am not in the mood
I am sure you can't go back home
This girl has just been courted by me
can you give me face?
Please give me some face
Alright Thank you
Other than reading books of Pere
what else do you know?
Being the Beauty Queen
of all the prostitute houses
I should be good at everything!
You're such a capable girl
but you have to become prostitute
If you give me a satisfactory reason
I'll give you $500
All because of my family background
If you tell me a simple story
by such common background
I'll give you a thousand
Poor family!
Finished
Great!
Straight forward!
Are you interested to play with me
for half year?
Deal
Now, you know her very well
Send her to my Yang Ming Villa
Yes, Master Ford
When I know you
you're not that greedy for money!
Cause I've become mature now
Let's go to Yang Ming Villa
Don't be upset
I'll give you another chance
If you're capable to get
the Flower Cracker of Chiu's Family
other than your grasshopper
I'll send you that girl
and ten thousand dollars too
Don't you think this is exciting?
OK! I'll come and get it! Let's go
Murdering... Exciting...
Can you be a bit emotional?
You die over 10 times a day
how can I be emotional?
It's boring. Let's go
They've all gone, let me help you!
Wonderful
Do you need to do so?
The people of this place are so generous
we have got 29 cents
But it's not enough for you to gamble
Daughter, gambling can be positive!
By the way
I have been taking care of the family
Family?
Don't you think we have a home?
It's my fault, actually, I have my plan
Let's work hard
and perform in more towns
After earning much money
enough to be a rich man
we'll find a place to settle down
I'll find a good husband for you
Actually, what kind of boy do you like?
How about the type of your dad?
Never
Alright
I've decided to find a rich guy for you
I'm not that money-minded
Other than being rich
he should love me too
I want 70% of it
Nothing is more important
than predestiny
It really stinks!
It's the famous Supreme Stink Bean Cube
It really stinks to hell!
I'm longing to eat this
What a coincidence! He just makes
such bean cube once a year!
I'm so lucky to meet this rare chance
What most attractive is
For every bean cube
It's still sold at normal price
It really worths!
Have you finished the introduction?
If you don't wanna buy it
come earlier next year
Miss, after you
After you
Let's buy it together Alright
How come?
This is the last one
After selling it, I'll leave
Pack it for me please
Pack it for me please
Hey Hey
You're a man
can you be a bit gentleman like?
You're a woman
you should act like a lady!
Do you wanna fight with me?
Fighting with others brings me
great interest in my life
Stop kidding
From your dark face
you show your extraordinary pale teeth
From your smile, it shows that
your inner heart is extremely lonely
and very unhappy
From your weak breathing
and irregular heart beats
and from few unhealthy hair of yours
as well as judging from your dress
I'm sure you come
from a single parent family
You're always wandering off
and have no sense of security
And...
From your weak breathing
I think you have poor digestion system
You too
How is your research?
If you don't wanna buy it
I'll leave then
I'll pay you double price
pack it for me please
I'll pay you a dollar
Two dollar
I am rich
Three
Four
Ten
Eleven
Twenty
Twenty one
Fifty
You fell in my trap!
Show your money!
Can't you afford it?
$50 for one stink bean cube?!
$50 can buy a shop
with sea view here!
How dare you fight with me?
You fool!
Thank you...
If you wanna show your appreciation
thank this lady
Boss, your bean cube
Since you appreciate this so much
why not share it?
I've never shared things with others
Just take it
I won't give it a damn
By the way
I am not called Fool
I am called Ford
I am rich!
Boss, I only have a bite of it
It's 90% new
I'd like to return it to you
can you give me $25?
What a fool! How can you raise
such request? No way
Just forget it
Well, if we meet next year
I'll send you a free bean cube next year
Keep your promise! See you
See you!
The workers want a raise
or they'll go on strike
Just find some jobless workers
from another village
But our workers are all under-paid
They're too greedy, you know?
Master Ford, a rich guy wants to buy
our rice shop, what do you think?
Just sell it to him
I'll ask the farmers to send the rice
to our new shop
So he'll buy an empty shop only
Anything else? Nothing...
Dismiss
Be careful, it worths ten thousand
What's that?
Madam, this is a grasshopper
Master Ford
Mom isn't feeling well
Shit...
Brother Ford
Mom, just tell me what you want
stop pretending to be ill
If you keep on pretending
it may bring you bad luck
Ford, you've grown up
I think this precious jade
should be sent to my daughter-in-law
According to the ancestors' instruction
you'd further the family line
Have more children...
Is that a choir?
You shouldn't interrupt
other's conversation!
Just so simple?
You need someone to reproduce kids?
Just up to you
I'm going to arrange your wedding then
I won't give it a damn
You're the eldest son of the family...
and should further the family line
Deal! I'm going to have a bath
Brother Ford...
What's the matter?
Congratulations! Brother Ford
Don't worry, I'll try my best...
To find a decent and pretty girl
to be your wife
Be honest
I can't cheat you at all
Mr. Sha Sam wants to buy back
the grasshopper
He wants to pay you $2,000...
How much?
I can't cheat you at all
He offers $2,500
Don't you think you can cheat me?
It's true, $2,500!
Brother Ford, it's late
please don't scold me
Sorry, he offers $3,000
Don't you think I'm damn poor?
No
So you must be poor and you need
to sell something for money
No
Damn you!
Where is your ear-ring?
You pawned your ring in Wing Hing Bank
for 3000 taels of gold
Don't you know such ear-ring
can buy the whole Wing Hing Bank?
Kidding?
I tell you, you addict
If you do anything to harm our fame
I'll send you to Hong Kong
Brother Ford, no!
I don't wanna go to the colony
If you can't get the ear-ring back
never come back again
I'm so poor to be scolded in mid-night!
I'll give you three more days
If you don't pay me
I'll double the interest
And I'll teach you
and your daughter a great lesson
Please don't curse me
No way
I don't mind you scolding me
But you can't curse my daughter!
I'd beat you, don't you believe it?
No
So, forget it
Brother Ford, it's not convenient
to go out from the front door
Let's take the rear door
What did you say?
Open the door
You married once!
None of your damn business!
Here comes Master Ford... Calm down
Master Ford... Don't push...
Master Ford is really handsome!
May I be your wife? What do you think?
Stay calm... don't push!
Everyone has a chance!
Stay calm, don't push!
Master Ford, they come here
to be the candidates of your wife
I heard that
many girls queued up for two days
Someone offers $2
to buy the first place
I always under-estimate my charm
You're really attractive!
Your attractions include:
A piece of precious jade
A thousand dollars, 500 cattle
An independent house
plus 25 pieces of furniture
A membership of a country club
Find 10 coolies
and 20 construction site workers for me
Are they for the dowry?
It's really special
No, I need them only
Kidding?
Don't you have anything for fun?
Miss Wong Mo-lin
aged 22, weight 90 catties
She loves shopping in the market
but hates looking at the mirror
Miss Pak Yu-kiu, aged 19
Weight 91 catties and 2 tales
She likes reading
her favourite book is...
Penthouse
Sorry, I've made a mistake
No way...
From the way she walks
I can tell she is bitchy
Not good...
What number is it?
Chan Nim-chi
she is from cultured family
Today is her first day out
She has clean background
Her family matches Chiu's family!
She's pretty looking too
She must be reproductive
But she's too fat and short
She'll have at least 4 children
in three years
May I see her parents?
Are your parents alive?
I don't know, better ask my mother
Has your mom come with you?
I don't know, just ask my mother
Where is your mom?
I don't know, better ask my mother
Do you have mother?
I don't know, better ask my mother
You've gone too far!
Come out
I wanna quit your application
I don't know, better ask my mom
You are a man!
Of course
I'm a rich guy in town, named Rich Wong
I'm really rich
I come here to register
on behalf of my daughter
You are Mr. Rich Wong!
Why don't you come with your daughter?
Ridiculous! How can
a decent lady queue up in street?
It's true
My daughter is
a famous multifarious woman!
Is that true?
It's predicted by my family doctor
A famous doctor's words are believable
Sorry
My daughter has good luck!
See her horoscope
it matches with your son
If you don't believe it
just have a look
From the birth date, it means good luck!
It's a rare horoscope!
Congratulations!
She has heart attack!
Let me send her some inner air
Have a pill
I am too happy! I am fine
Have a pill, it'll be safe
What?
Stay calm, Chiu's family wants
to choose a wife for Master Chiu
So I took your horoscope to try
I heard that the potential candidates
will be granted a house
I can't imagine
that you would be chosen immediately
So, I accepted some dowry
You are selling me
Apparently yes, practically no
Since you have to attend the wedding
But you needn't sleep
with the bridegroom
Basically...
You'd better go yourself!
And, if you want me to sleep with him
you'd better disguise me
Alright, if someone pays me $500
I don't mind being screwed
Just pretend to marry him
and put the ether into the wine
We can get the money
and go into fugitive!
Do you mean it?
I know I can't cheat you at all
I've got 100 taels
of gold exchange coupon
Any trick behind?
It's believable!
From the famous bank, Wing Hing Bank
No, I mean the ether
I think the rich guys
just wanna fool the bridegroom
They have nothing new to play, you know?
I know, but this is a shame!
The money is enough for us
to build up a family
We may move to a distant place
and run small business
You can marry with someone else
to start a new living
We needn't wander off then
If your descendants know
you've made such sacrifice
They'll be proud of you
The whole family will be proud of you
The whole nation
will be proud of you too
Think over it
No, I wanna insist my principle
What is that?
Other than necessary expenses
I want 70% of the profit
You'll have 30%
50-50
60-40
Deal
Brother Ford, today is your big day
If you go out
you may miss the lucky time
Lucky time or not
it's all up to my decision!
Dear friends, uncles
buddies and classmates
Now I'm holding the Flower Cracker
If you get it, ring the gong over there
you'll be the winner
I always talk much
but I'd like to stop here
You needn't place it in such high place
This is a special arrangement
it's placed up there for special luck
Won't you mind it?
Forget it, let's fight for it now!
Master Ford, please take a seat
Go to work
Brother Ford, do you wanna sit on this
to fight for the cracker?
Only the fools will fight for it
I'm coming to receive it
Excuse me Forget it, work hard
Don't waste my time
Let me see whether the boat
has arrived or not
What are you looking at? Nothing
I discovered that you are quite pretty
You remind me of your deceased mom
Cut the crap, or you won't stop
Alright, remember
after putting the ether into the wine
We'll leave this place
for our new life!
Miss, Master Ford will come
to pick you up soon
Hurry up, move!
Fool! Go, go!
Move a bit over!
All are fools!
Bring me a bamboo
Catch up
Master Ford, Mister Sha is coming
towards you, be careful
I feel bad omen!
I'd better prepare a pad for Master Ford
Take it!
Do you want it?
Do you wanna fight with me?
Give it to me?
Catch it
Hold it!
You addict, bring me a bamboo
Hurry up! You creep!
Sway me over there
Use more force!
Got you!
You trash!
Don't let him get the gong
The cracker is still over there!
Go and catch it
Don't come up, or it'll fall
Forget it, go!
What are you doing?
Brother Ford, it's loose!
No... No!
What's up?
What?
Why hasn't Master Ford come?
I can't imagine that
when I went for the pad
And I took a nap on it
then it became a mess!
Where is Master Ford...?
Master Ford...
I won at last!
How dare you compete with me?
Come here
We come to get the bride
What are you doing?
Where are you going to?
Let the bride down first
Where are you going?
Let the bride down
where are you going?
Master Jack asked you to wait
for him in the room
Enrich the electricity
How?
Turn with force!
Use an aged ginseng, an aged gyrophora
aged orange peel
And add a fresh cabbage
Cook it with 100 bowls of water
to be one bowl of herbal tea
We can't wake him up by electricity
So, it's a failure
Have you heard of Asinosinopet?
It's a kind of medicine
It's specially for insomnia and nerve
It'll let the patient have sound sleep
Master Ford hasn't waken up
do you still want him to sleep?
This is for Madam
How is Ford?
No big deal
but we don't know when he'll wake up
Chinese doctors
are not scientific enough
Obviously
Master Ford's brain has been stroke
Simply speaking, that's coma
I'm sure he'll wake up
But when?
May be an hour later
May be half a century
Bullshit!
Madam...
Let me save Madam...
I'll give her injection
Watch my inner air
Injection! Use air!
Bitch, shut up and listen to me
I'm Doctor Chan
I have rich foreign medical knowledge
You'd listen to me
You are liar!
Stop arguing
think something to save Ford
I've found apoplexia
in Master Ford's brain
We should cut his head off
and take the blood cube out
How can he live any more?
I'd better use my inner air to cure him
Chop his head Inner air
Better chop your head off!
Inner air...
My dear chicken
Master Ford loves eating chicken congee
Let me catch you, don't move
Be good, let me kill you
I'm sure you won't have any pain
Don't move...
How are you?
How are you?
It's you!
It's you!
I can't imagine that it's you!
I can't imagine that it's you
How are you?
It's you!
I can't imagine that it's you!
How are you?
It's you!
I can't imagine that it's you
I'm Doctor Chan
I'm rich in foreign medical knowledge
I've found apoplexia in your brain
I have to cut your head
and get rid of the blood
Cut the head
I wanna catch you, don't move
Let me cut you
I'm sure you won't feel pain
You'll die with ease
Finished? How do you feel?
It's itchy!
Are you sleepy?
Kill him
You...
I'm Chiu Jack
He...
He's Chiu Ford
If you don't kill him
our trick will be discovered
I just come for money, I won't kill
People always kill for money!
Will you be that childish?
Don't you think you can get
$500 just by putting ether in wine?
Go!
Ford... Master Ford...
Ford...
Madam...
Let me use my inner air
Keep your medicine and your air away
She is too old
It's almost time...
Your business is finished
Go
We'll tell others that
this woman came to kill Ford for money
Is that a good idea?
This is the fact
Right, this is the fact
We'll tell others this story
Master Jack
we'll follow you from now on
Madam, don't worry
I'll take good care of Master Ford
He is so lovely now
I can't imagine that
after I've cooked the chicken congee...
Madam, do you have
enough paper money to spend?
Master Ford has gone
to a distant place for fun
Set the spirit tablet
inside the house, but...
Don't let me see it
Master Ford, burn some incense for Madam
Master Ford...
Where are you? Master Ford
Thread and fragrant bags...
Boss, if you don't go now
you can't catch the boat
OK... I have to hurry to leave now
Waiter, check please
I'll be the boss this time
One, two, three
Take good care
Thank you for your concern
We're friends!
Take care of other people
How are you? Are you alright?
I'm fine!
Did I tear your clothes?
No
So, forget it
I've bought something for you
What's that?
Jade bracelet
So pretty
Did you ask for any discount?
Sure, but he didn't agree!
He said he'd give me discount next time
Why don't you buy it next time?
Never mind, just try it
It's a bit bigger
It doesn't matter
it fits me when I become fat
Why do you send me this jade bracelet?
You sent me a handkerchief last time
I sent you that
for you repaired the door of my toilet
I repaired that
for you sent me carrot cake
Boss, I'm long waiting!
If you don't leave now
we can't catch the boat!
Alright...
Let's go. You're wasting time!
I have to leave for 2 weeks to a month
I wanna buy some goods
and receive some order for you
I've made some leek dumplings for you
Don't you know I hate leek?
Really? I'll give it to my dad
Boss, cut the crap
or we can't catch the boat!
Just a few words left
I have to go now
Well, when I'm back...
I will... you!
Let's talk when you're back, OK?
Alright, I'm leaving, take care
Good bye...
Good bye
Good bye...
Good bye
You're so nagging! Go now! See you
See you...
What's up? Take it back!
Get lost! Don't scare my clients
Are you leaving? You beggar!
Leave now!
Sweet sugar cane...
How dare you steal my sugar cane?
I wanna beat you to death...
Damn beggar, I'll beat you to death
Steal my sugar cane?
How dare you! Are you looking for death?
Go away You still wanna go?!
I wanna beat you to death!
Give way...
Go to hell...
Why did you beat him? Stop!
You're killing him, you know?
How about he stole my sugar cane?
And how about my jade bracelet?
I don't care!
It's your bad luck
Take it
Where are you going?
To the toilet
The toilet is over that!
How dare a beggar knock our door
for food. Get lost...
Isn't he... Yes
What a serious matter!
Go and answer the door now!
The door is loose
we're just repairing it now
Go to sleep, haven't you seen anyone
repairing the door?
We haven't eaten dinner yet!
Eat while you fall asleep!
Go to sleep now
Eat it while I fall asleep?
Just try
Take it
It's delicious
I've caught you!
Have they gone?
Yes
We moved here so as to escape anyone
from Chiu's family
Do you want trouble
by taking him back home?
Don't you think I mean it?
You can't let him stay here
take him back to his home
You said we cheated Chiu's money
If we go back now
we're surrendering ourselves
We can't let him stay here
But we can't send him back
What'll we do?
The only way is...
to kill him
I've got ready
Move it
What's up?
You said you gonna kill him
I don't mean it
Keep your promise, move it
Chop from his head
I'll catch his blood by the bucket
And then cut him into pieces
Sell whatever worthwhile;
eat whatever edible
If we can't eat all, just send it
to others for making dumplings
So, no one will discover
our trick anymore
Why are you standing here?
Why do you hold so many things?
For collecting his blood
Are you scared?
I am a girl
If I couldn't chop his head off
his head will be hanging...
and the blood will spray
to everywhere...
What are you doing?
Stab him
So the blood won't spray to everywhere
and he'll die at once
Where to stab?
According to this Killing handbook
Stab from his chest, he'll die at once
Where?
Between the 3rd and the 4th rib
You're the master of the family
you do it
You suggested to kill him
You do it No way, you try
I'm giving you a chance to show off
No thanks
Go ahead You do it
I'll count to three, and you do it
One
Two
Two and a half
Three
Bingo! It's stabbed in
It hurts! It really hurts
What are you laughing at?
Since I've seen your cheerful look
Where are you going?
What do you say?
Stop
Or you'll wake up our neighbours
Stop! You'll wake up the neighbours
Don't wake others up...
Stop! Come down!
Take off your clothes
I haven't asked you
to compensate my hand
I will let you pay in future
Take off your clothes and take a bath
Come on!
Take off your clothes and take a bath!
Take off your clothes and take a bath
Damn it
Damn it
Since you love copying other's words
Follow me
Take off the clothes
How about the pants?
Take a look after the bath
You're not young, but you don't know
how to wear your clothes!
This is the address of your home
If anyone asks you, just show him
This is money, place it properly
And
Dee!
Dee!
Dee
Fool, we're nice to dress you up!
Yeah
You're not called Fool
you're called Ford
Ford
Ford
Ford
Cut the crap, set up now. Fool
Daddy...
I am not called Fool, call me Ford
Really? When were you named Ford?
Just for a while
Good...
You're sweating!
Look!
You!
I've caught you!
If you wanna make money, come over here
Bet more, you will win more...
Give way...
Tell me the past records
Small
Alright, small!
I've waited you for ages
why are you so late?
Open!
5, 5 and 3, total 13, big!
You lost!
Lost?
I have a precious jewel
I wanna change it with you
Jewel?
Boss, how much can you pay for it?
20 cents
Alright, deal
Bet on Big!
Open
Three 6s, all lost
It's really big
Boss, how much will you pay for him?
Damn you!
Look at him! He's strong and tall
and he's productive too
Give him a smile
At least he worths $2
You give me $2 and
I'll help you to throw him away
You nuts!
I just wanted to know the possibility
you needn't be that fierce!
You've gone too far
Run, stop bothering me
Don't bother me!
Your jewel is too hard!
Forget it
Just go to play
and don't bother me again
Boss, you're so smart to choose
this jade bracelet
Mister, you haven't paid yet
Not enough!
What's wrong? It's stone!
If you don't have enough money
just return the bracelet to me
Such nice packing! It must be expensive
Do you wanna destroy the evidences?
Where have you been early
in the morning?
Yesterday I was bothered by that fool
for one whole night
That's why I have to go for tea now
He comes again!
Dee!
Ford is back
Let's have something to eat
None of my business
he comes back by himself
You took $2 from me
& you're responsible to take him away
Go again
Again?
Give me another $2
One more! Go as far as you can
Deal
Help... I beg you, you've followed me
for one whole day
Don't follow me. Go and play alone
I'm tired. I want a rest
If you're busy, just leave me alone
I can catch you up
The ass!
Bite, stop hesitating! Bite!
Help...
Come and help!
What's the matter?
How come?
Take him in
Take him in too... important to save him
Ford, what's happened?
It must be food poisoning
How can a toe get food poisoned?
No! He must be bitten by snake
Right, his tongue
must be bitten by snake
And he used his toe to loose his mouth
So his toe is poisoned too
Stop guessing
Since my toe was bitten by snake
He used his mouth
to suck the poisoned juice out
Dee, come here
Ford saved my life
I think we should let him stay
and take care of him
Who is Ford?
He's the neighbour of a friend
of my cousin's wife
I met him coincidently on the road
Does he have any family?
Why don't you send him home?
He's the only son of his family
Before he was born, his parents died
Before he was born?
He climbed out from the grave
isn't it scaring?
I'm not scared!
He has no relatives
so he comes here to live with us
We decided to let him stay
It's deal, OK?
Yes
So, it's time for me to faint now!
For 6 yards of silk
each yard costs $04.3
For 8 yards of blue cotton
each yard costs $02.8
And, for 14 yards of organdie
each yard costs $03.6
Plus the rest of it...
Total is $9.86
Correct
And, you offer 10% discount to us
Total is $8.88
Just forget the change, say a total $8
Is the bargaining correct?
He is faster than a calculator
He is your good assistant
What is his name?
He's called Ford
Nice to meet you. Come and buy more!
Please take care of us
Brother Ford, thank you so much!
Please take care
Magic ice bar, 2 cents each
It'll stop hyperprexia and you won't
get sunstroke after having one
If you don't take any
you'll get sunstroke
Let's go
We are not buying
We still have some sweet soup left
It's really hot
Will you get sunstroke?
Take a rest
It's really hot!
Ford
Where are you going, Ford?
Ford...
Ford...
Ford, where have you been?
Help...
Shit, why the ice bar is getting smaller
and smaller?
I didn't take any of it
Hurry up...
Don't you feel cool?
Feeling better?
It's cool
Feeling cool?
Give me 2 cents, I haven't paid yet
You're great!
You've stood for two hours
Aren't you tired?
Not too tired, but I feel itchy
Wonderful, you needn't close your eyes
It's true
Ford is too easy going!
Just to make others happy
He'll do anything you request
Is that true?
If you don't believe it, just try
Call me dad
Call me Ford
Ford
Dad
Call me Beauty Queen for ten times
Ford
Beauty Queen...
I feel shy!
He isn't kind, but just a fool
I am not fool, call me Ford
You can call me anything
but you can't call me Fool
Why do you bother him?
They are not bothering him
They just fool him
How is the business?
That rich lady wants to see
the fashion tomorrow
Look at the material
how can we show her?
She knows it's cheap just
by a small touch!
How can we cheat the customers?
So, think something new, say packaging!
What's new?
Just think something
Do you mean this?
Yes
Miss Natasha Kimski Lowahdelowa
please have some tea
Make it simple, just call me Anna
Alright, Miss Natasha Kimski Lowahdelowa
I've got ready your dresses
Show me now
For such decent customers like you
It's so nice of you
to tailor fashion in our shop
How can we show you in a common way?
What does that mean?
Please enjoy it
First of all
you'll see the high-classed fashion
It's of decent design...
with 1st classed tailoring
And the material is
the top graded wool... plus Dacron
So when you walk
you'll feel cool and fresh
How can you feel cool
when wearing wool plus Dacron?
It's because of top-graded material
Who is this guy?
He is the model of our shop
He is so famous in this field
What's his name?
He is called Ford
This is the sport wear
designed for the royal family
When you wear it
you'll feel great!
The pattern is fancy looking
What's on his chest?
To cover the hole
No, the designer is called Cover Ho
Yeah...
The pattern is really fancy looking
How about the one I love most?
Can you show me now?
Right away
He doesn't want to get changed
May I be excused?
Where is she going?
She runs fast
she must be hurrying to toilet
Get changed. Hurry up No
Why not? What are you doing?
This clothes is too disgusting!
Who said so?
They all tease me
See, they are all teasing me
They...
They tease you since they like you
Is that true?
Yes
I laugh at you too
So, you mean you like me?
Sure
Get changed
That model is so famous
may be he's putting on an air
He'll come out soon
He's coming
Really? Wonderful!
This clothes is the mixture
of wildness and culture
Please enjoy it
The last one is a mixture
of fancies and illusions
It can be a night gown
or a gown before sleeping
You're so bad
It's sexy and sentimental
What a terrific show
Wonderful...
Come here, I wanna talk to you
Come on
I love those clothes very much
Thank you
On the 7th of this month
a banquet will be held in my place
I'll introduce some businesses to you
Good
But my friends are all rich
they're experts in fashion too
Don't lose my face
But, you have to bring Ford along
Don't worry. He'll go with us
Don't forget that
Thank you, bye bye
Where are you going?
I wanna buy something
Boss, do you have any book
about tailoring?
Yes
I want the most advanced editions
Don't touch
How about these? Incredible
Tailoring & Invincible Needlework
They're published in Tang Dynasty
How much is it?
Including this
This is funny, a girl disguised
to be a boy to court another boy
But the boy didn't know
that she was a girl
Can you read?
What's the matter? Ford...
What's wrong with you?
Leung San-pai died
Chuck Ying-toi died too!
Ford, please don't cry
Don't cry. Sit down
Don't cry
They became a pair of butterflies
And they flew happily here and there
they were so happy
Fly here and there? Yes
What will we become after our death?
Have some dragon eyes
When sewing silk
you can't use thick needle
When sewing cotton
thin needle won't work
When sewing leather
fingers will bleed easily
For linen, it's hard to...
To make burls!
Yeah...
I'll remember that
One for you and one for me...
This is his, why did you eat his?
Ford, get changed now
Where are we going to?
To the banquet
He'll stay
Cut the crap
He'll mess everything up
What?
Miss Anna appointed him to go with us
We have to take him there
You can tell from the first sight
that the fat woman is fond of Ford
We can't let her stay too close to him
So Ford can be her dream lover forever
What lover?
Ford, choose a handkerchief for me
Which one?
Search the prettiest one for me please
Go
Daughter, here is big. Stay close to me
Behave yourself
? ? # ?
What did he say?
I don't know
Dee!
You've come!
Dee
Dee and dad
@ ? # ? ? * *
Why didn't you wait for me?
You've come!
I intended to pick you up
When I arrived your workshop
I just found Ford alone
So I came with him
Don't you mind that?
Of course not!
Ford said he didn't want to come
Come and take a seat
This is a rich merchant from Sinkiang
Mr. Hamihua
He wants to tailor some new clothes
to Sinkiang
Great...
This suit is made in their shop
isn't it pretty?
About sewing technique, that's fair
But the material used is so poor
Who are you, granny?
If you don't know tailoring
please shut up
My master is the royal tailor
Mr. Gerdano
And he is the boss
of the famous fashion shop Boo Sin Ni
Sorry, I didn't say anything
Miss, how can these clothes
match you and Mr. Hamihua?
What did you say?
These clothes are so pretty
This is...
He is the model of their shop, Mr. Ford
I haven't heard
of such post of a tailor shop!
What's your design famous for?
All the clothes are sewed by Dee
How special?
We sewed that according to the Tailoring
handbook of Tang Dynasty
For silk and lustre
no thick needle should be used
For cotton...
Thin needle will break easily
For sewing leather
fingers will bleed easily
For linen... it's hard to make burls
With the technique
written in the Invincible Needlework
49 drop stitches
64 plain stitches...
Plus...
Five one three, 13, big
And then three sixes, all lost
Everyone lost
Sorry
What he means is...
there are 18 kinds of color
It's really pretty
Why not show me some samples?
Don't you have any?
Mr. Hamihua, beware of being cheated
For many people, they just want to cheat
I don't mean to pick on anyone
Be very careful of those who just talk!
Miss Anna, we are leaving
Why? I've just drunk the soup
Let's go. We have much work to do
I've finished all my work
And I've brought
the handkerchief you want
This is the prettiest one
Where did you get it?
This is his stuff
Show me
Come on, show me
It's sewed according to
the Invincible Needlework
Look at this dragon
The color is so bright
and the figure is so good
A great one!
Where did you learn such lost technique?
It's no big deal
All my workers know such technique
? ? # ? * ? ?
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
Mr. Hamihua wants to order
50 suits of clothes from you
But you have to deliver the clothes
within ten days
No problem...
Deal
We'll prepare some samples for you first
Please stay
Never mind, Ford won't go
he'll stay behind to accompany you
You may come back late
I don't mind if you won't come back
Great...
Daughter, let's go
Dee
? ? # ? * ? ?
What did they say?
He said Dee has fallen into a well
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
What's wrong with you?
Dee...
Ford, I'm up there
You're up there!
Catch the bucket
Thank you
Dee
Dee's ass is being clipped
Pull it out...
Be careful
I worry too much!
Ford, I was almost scared
I worry about you, you know?
I'm afraid you would be drowned
are you alright?
Answer me, come on!
I worry about you, you know?
Last time, I followed your instruction
to sell with worms
But I couldn't sell any catty of it
The villagers went
to next village to buy rice
I followed your instruction
to beat the worker on strike
But he died on that night
Thus, it made more workers on strike
I bribed the official as you said
however
He's now charging us of bribery
In Chiu's family
Every male of all generations
Should wear an ear-ring
crafted with poems
The moon in front of the bed
It's suspected to be...
So and so...
Good poem!
It's Chiu Ford's poem
I think mine is better
Sing it to me
Spring flower...
Sing!
Spring flower and autumn...
Sing!
Spring flower and autumn moon...
how can you remember all the past...
Last night in the balcony...
Ford is still alive?
What's the use of ears
which can't hear?
Bomb it
Go ahead
Don't use less gold thread
to sew the dragon
How come! We used
the famous brand of gold thread
This is a big business of us
don't miss the delivery date
Don't worry. I'll fix it
Isn't Ford homeless?
No
What's the relationship between you two?
What do you think?
I wish you had no relationship with him
We have no relationship at all
Miss Anna, you mean...
I like Ford, I wanna...
I think, Ford will...
Miss Anna, you're so wise!
I wish to bring Ford back to my hometown
Where is your hometown?
It's in Sinkiang
13.35 miles south-east
of Nima mountain range
I own the whole mountain range
What a distant place
It doesn't seem to be alright
Come to pick him up
early tomorrow morning
Are you crazy?
Why don't make use of this chance
to send him away?
That's a distant place!
I wish it'd be as far as possible
So he won't remind me
of the evil deed I've done!
By the way, Nick is coming back soon
If he finds that a fool
is living with us
How can I explain to him?
Are you scared?
I'll give you 10 days' time
if you can't pay, I'll double the interest
And I'll teach you a great lesson
I'll burn your house too
I lost my money only
I didn't borrow money from you!
I'm sorry...
I lost the money for buying gold thread
what'll I do?
You have to pay cash
for the high quality thread
GOLD you know? You nuts!
I can pay you after delivering my goods
I beg you... Get lost!
I beg you, please help...
Scar face Keung
What's the matter?
No big deal. It's just light injuries
I've told you to dump
the old urine holder! Buy a new one
No, I'm used to the old one
By the way
it's hard to find a suitable size for me
You're not economical at all
I wash daily!
Have you bought the gold thread?
Yes, it's ordered
and it'll be delivered tomorrow
I just wanna sleep now
What're you doing?
You asked me to put
all my favorite things on the table
Now, I place everything
I like on the table
You laugh, that means you like me
You have good memory
You laugh happily
so do you like me very much?
Isn't it? Isn't it?
Don't go
Dee...
Let me tell you
I like you too
Dee!
Tomorrow you have to go to Sinkiang
What?
Anna said she wants
to take you to Sinkiang
Are you going?
I won't go
If you don't go with me, I won't go
When you arrive Sinkiang
you can be the master
Anna likes you
You like me too
If you don't go, I'll get angry
Alright, I'll go there for just one day
You won't come back
So great!
You're back!
Yes
I've opened the door
to wait for your return!
Why did you fly in?
Kid, I warn you
don't tell others that you've seen me
But everyone knows that I've seen you
He should hide up nearby
go and search Yes
Just ahead
Don't tell others that it's stolen by me
Right here, go in
He is here
That's him
Freeze!
Don't go!
What's the matter?
How dare you steal?
Catch him
Yes
Why so noisy?
He stole my gold thread
What's the matter?
They said Ford stole their gold thread
Nuts! What proof do you have?
See?
This gold thread
is linking my shop up here
You're caught red-handed
Don't go
Let's talk!
I think it must be a misunderstanding
Don't you think so?
You look familiar to me
Well, it's pre-destiny for us
to meet each other!
Let's forget it
How come?
What made me feel furious is
he stole the urine holder of mine
So cheap!
Maybe he appreciates
your urine holder very much
Thus he can steal it then, can't he?
Beat him!
Wait...
How about if it isn't stolen by him
what'll you do?
Did you steal it?
What made you think it's me
who stole it?
I'm a righteous person!
You won't tell me who did it
and he didn't admit it
Where does this gold thread come from?
Speak up
Who gave it to you?
Don't you confess?
Stop beating him
Ask the thief to confess then
I'm so old now...
Nobody admits that?
Beat him!
Enough, he is only a fool
That's why he didn't react! He is a fool
Either catch him to the police
or take the compensation
Say $18
You bastard! You charged me $13
in this morning!
I've brought so many buddies here
I need to pay them!
How about 15, take it or leave it
Alright, I'm being nice! Let's go
If you don't go
I'll teach you a good lesson
Ford, are you alright?
You bastard! You didn't say a word!
Now, you're so enthusiastic!
Go to sleep...
Go back
Brother Ford, you're my buddy!
I want you to be my brother
You're righteous & passionate!
I am not called Fool
I am Ford
Are you hurt?
No
but I feel painful
He's angry. He's angry with you
Anyway, he has no chance to get angry
with me again
Ford... what are you looking for?
You've hid so many things!
What are you looking?
Don't you want to leave
for hiding all these?
Just go ahead
I'm leaving
I don't want others to be unhappy
Let us help you No
Let him do it himself
Brother Ford, have you packed up?
What's wrong with your face?
Just a little accident, a light injury
See your buttons! The order is all wrong
I intended to do it
You're so funny
My man bothered you for a long time
I should pay some money
as his living expenses No
How about $50?
Alright...
Why not make it $88?
Just to be lucky
Alright, just as you like
Thank you
Let's share the money from selling Ford
Don't take those unnecessary things
Don't touch my stuff, I like them most
Just let him take it away
You'll have anything in my place
it's a waste to take it along!
I'm leaving
only if you're feeling happy
Yes
Dee
Nick?
Dee, do you miss me? I miss you so much!
If you don't miss me, it'll upset me
Let's talk about it later
Why not now?
I've made up my mind on the boat
I really have careful consideration...
I wanna marry you
Ford Yes!
Don't go! I haven't left at all
You can't stay
If he stay, we'll be dead meat
if his secret is disclosed
Who is Ford?
Who is Ford?
He is my husband Stop!
We have had wedding before Stop!
We cheated other's money
So we moved here in order
to escape from his family
What'll I do?
What'll I do then?
I don't know
Show me a turn please!
There isn't any difference
after this incident
So, it won't do any harm to us
Yeah, no harm at all
Ford, are their words true?
Ford, let's go
Ford... Stop chasing
Butterfly!
Leung San-pai and Chuck Ying-toi
Why not catch them? No
Why?
They are so happy!
If we catch them and then set them free
they'll be happier!
How come? You fool
I am not fool, I am Ford
I like fool
So I am fool, I am not Ford
Daddy...
Daddy...
How are you? Wake up please
Dad, how are you?
Please don't leave me alone
Dad...
Dad...
He wakes up now
I was beaten
and I just wanted to take a rest
Why did you beat me?
What happened?
Some rascals rushed in to look for Ford
They look so fierce
so I told them that Ford's gone to Sinkiang
Why did they beat you then?
When I was beaten, I over-heard that
They said they had to do
something anyway
Who are they? Nasty people
I can't imagine that, I couldn't inform
you on time because of a nap
Thus it caused a mess...
Master Ford, I miss you
I thought you were a scumbag
Who knows, Master Jack
is worse 10 times than you
I know you! Why do you cry?
Let me wipe the tears for you
Don't move... Be good!
Shit! Master Ford
why are you so kind-hearted?
What's wrong with kind-hearted?
You don't know!
Your great-uncle, remember?
He comes back to celebrate his birthday
after knowing your death
And he wants to name Jack
be the number one of Chiu's family
You'd make use of this rare chance
to disclose the secret and trick of Jack
But how can he fight with Jack now?
Who want him to fight with Jack?
I do! Those rascals beaten me up
for I've sharp tongue
I can stand it
But they burnt my workshop!
I have to take revenge for that
We have to take this chance!
Why not just sell this workshop
and start all over again?
I haven't said an honest words
in all these years
Today, you have to give me a chance
As an old Chinese saying
a man should be bold and brave
I won't care being charged of cheating!
If we have a light punishment
I'll be beaten once
Worse to worst
I'll be exiled for 10 years
Even I'll be beaten to death
I won't complain a word
I just want Ford to be a real man!
Who cares what will happen to us?
I'll be right back
Ford agrees that too
So, we decided to train Ford
To train Ford
Oh, Dee's dad!
Don't be too impulsive, warm up first...
The head breaks!
Stay calm...
What are we doing?
We just go to join a birthday party
why should we practise so hard?
Go back...
It's takes long time to climb down!
Wao
I have a hope
I hope Master Ford heart less & cool
I have a hope
I hope only hatred is filled
in Ford's heart
I have a hope
I hope Ford has no love
Remember
this is the nasty guy Chiu Jack
On the birthday
don't escape from his eyesight
No matter how, stare at him
Chiu Ford is notorious
for scolding people
To scold others "Cheap"
is the basic lesson you need
Cheap
Cheap
Cheap...
Since you have to attend
a birthday party, you'd drink some wine
So you have to practise drinking
Wisdom is a must to defeat Chiu Jack
So, this is the best training
Here! You are so stupid!
Master Ford, walk smartly!
Master Ford, you did it
But I think there is something missing
Ford
Don't laugh
Don't laugh
Wear it
Great-uncle, wish you happy birthday!
Great-uncle, have a birthday drink
Now, everyone is employed in Chiu's Town
I can't even see a beggar or a wild dog
Let's celebrate it, take a seat...
Let's take a seat
How much will you be paid?
If one has line to say, he'll get
$5, if not, he'll get $2
When can we go home?
After confirming Chiu Jack
be the number one of Chiu's family
Don't panic, stare at him
Who are you?
Stab at him!
Cheap
Cheap
Chiu's Town becomes peaceful
and prosperous
Jack, you have done a good job
It's my duty
But, I haven't a proper title
So I feel difficult
in carrying some jobs
Now I announce...
the number one of Chiu's family...
Cheap...
Go that way
Cheap...
Aren't you lost?
Cheap...
Not this one, speak
I come here to take back my belongings
Ford, where have you been?
Where have you been?
For fun
For fun too
That two persons...
They are my fellows
Brother Ford
where have you been in these days?
I worry so much...
Great-uncle, I think
before his disappearance, he's gone crazy
And he hasn't recovered yet
I don't think so
Go!
He's really crazy and he's a bit hot
I hear noise in his brain
I think he's inclination of violence
It's better to send him to hospital
Send him to a western hospital
No, Chinese hospital
Western hospital
Chinese hospital
Stop!
They are all your men
I have a fair way to prove
whether he is a fool or not
Witness
I prove that Master Ford isn't a fool
Evidence
Ford, what's this?
Sausage
Bingo
How can a fool recognise sausage?
From the witness and the evidence
provided, he isn't a fool
How can you say sausages are evidence?
Great-uncle, he is a fool
You are a fool
Well, I have my way to prove it
Now, we'll prove it by a quiz
We'll know who is a real fool soon
Let us introduce our competitors
Chiu Ford's team
Damn it!
Chiu Jack's team
Who answers correctly will get a mark
no mark for wrong answer
Who rings the bell first may answer
and may reanswer after a wrong answer
The competition starts
What're the 4 great inventions of China?
Congee, noodles, vermicelli and rice
Wrong! Any answer?
Fire-work, compass, paper...
Printing
Printing!
Yes, one mark for Jack
Kidding?
How come my answers are wrong?
Fire-work and compass?
Nothing is edible!
The competition goes on
Why do we see lightning
before hearing thunderstorm?
I don't know
I give up
Why did you ring the bell?
To show my grievance!
Any answer?
I give up too
It's very simple
Since our eyes are in front of the ears
Damn it! Can you ask simple questions?
Get out
You are so mean!
Go, go to the back, go...
You deserve it!
You have to leave too
What are you looking at?
Other than those named Chiu
everyone should leave here
Whose fellows give hints or shout
I'll deduct the mark of his side
Now, Chiu Jack got one mark
How can a horse eat an elephant?
Cause the horse is hungry
Wrong, any answer?
Since it's a chess game
Right, have one mark
In one's life
what words are spoken most?
I don't know
Right, the answer is "I don't know"
One mark for Ford
Great!
Congratulations!
What are you doing?
None of your business, sit down...
You are great
A goat has a blind left eye
There is mutton on his left
and a chicken leg on his right
What will it eat first?
Chicken leg, a goat won't eat mutton
Wrong
Goat eats grass, you fool!
Right, one mark for Ford, break even
Great-uncle
how can you ask such tricky questions?
These are copied from the entrance exam
of Cambridge University
If you are not satisfied, you may quit
Give up if you like
Congratulations, you have another mark
Are you kidding? It doesn't matter
Have one more glass of wine
He can't drink You drink then
Drink it...
I didn't say anything You're great!
I didn't hear anything
Next, what is Confucious famous for?
He is a famous old man
I read such question before
Yes, one more mark for Jack
Left behind
Master Ford
Master Ford, congratulations!
I didn't answer correctly
Your relative answered correctly
it's just the same
Why not drink it together?
If you don't drink with me
I won't drink
Let's have a happy time
Come on. You like it
Drink...
A pregnant woman was kicked
But she wasn't hurt, why?
Since the kick wasn't strong enough
I know
Her baby kicked her
Good answer
I mean the kick of the baby
wasn't strong enough
No argue. Three to three, break even
He's drunk!
Bravo!
Since you've broken even
Following is action section
Trifle ring
Bravo! I've got it!
You first
You first
You needn't be that nice to me
Double trick?
This isn't fair, once again
I'll go first
Don't you think I'm nobody?
You can't say no! Four to three
I announce Jack is a fool
I've said I ain't a fool at all
He's a fool! Bravo!
Your tail has fallen
No
It hasn't fallen
You may ask someone else
Dee, has my tail fallen down?
She said no!
No? Why are there
so many people teasing you?
They like me, so they laugh
They don't like you
so they won't tease you
They like you, so they tease you
Little girl, did you tease him
because you like him?
Of course not! He's a fool
No, I'm not a fool
No, I'm not a fool
Brother Ford
what will a female pig give birth to
Little pig
How about a bitch?
Doggie
How about a fool?
Little fool
Right, you'll give birth
to a little fool in future
When little fool grows up
he'll become a big fool
Then he'll be teased
Just like what you've just experienced
Dee, let's go
You haven't taken back your belongings
I have everything
Let's go
Ford is my brother
he doesn't need your care
Catch him
I wanna go home
Hands off
Although he's crazy
he's my brother anyway
Great-uncle
I'll take care of him until he dies
Send Ford to his home
Put your hands off...
I wanna go home
Home!
Dee...
I wanna go home!
Ford!
Do you wanna go?
Run!
What's the matter?
How dare you compete with me?
Come here
Come here
How did my mom die?
She had heart attack but
Jack didn't allow to let her take pills
How did you know that?
I was around Why?
Jack gave me $500 and asked me
to have fake marriage with you
You adopted me for you pitied me
or, didn't you regret?
Both reasons
Nothing else?
Let me think
Are you pig?
No
Are you dog?
Are you human?
Yes
Damn it!
You are worse than pig or dog
How did my mom die?
In fact... Shut up!
Leave here now
and never cure people again
Thank you, Master Ford
What are you doing?
None of your business
you'll know it later
Speak up
Can't I defeat you in my life?
Yes!
If only I wanna compete with you
I don't believe it
I wanna fight with you!
I don't think I can't defeat you!
It's ridiculous!
Mom, you aimed sharply
Hold the spirit tablet of my mom
Yes
Now, you understand everything?
Yes
Will you take the seat
to be the number one?
Damn it!
Where's Dee?
She's kicked away by you
I'm Siu Ming
I'm Siu Ming. I'm a good boy
I want to study. I'm going to school
Serve him right
But he's happy. That's good
He's so tough! He wants to take revenge!
Let's run for our lives!
Let's split up and meet
in the abandoned temple
What do you want, Mr. Chiu?
Except pity and regret
any other reason made you adopt me?
No
You can't cheat me
Either let me go
or sue me
Take me to the police
I wanna lock you up
for the rest of your life
Why? What crime did I commit?
We've married!
I drank the wedding wine!
That's ether
Don't you worry I would harm you again?
It's predestined that
you would control my life
If you didn't go crazy
will you fall for me?
If I didn't go crazy
will you fall for me?
Sure
Cause you're rich
I can tell you're money-minded
If not greedy for your wealth
don't you think I'm attracted
by your handsome look?
That's right
Miss, I'm glad to see you!
I promised
to treat you bean cube this year
I've found you for hours
Take it now, but I think you have to
fight for it again
Fix it yourself You'd better leave
Sorry...
I think we'll enjoy
this bean cube tonight
Do you still have time to enjoy it?
What else can be done
other than eating bean cube?
Do you want me to remind you
Brother Ford?
I'm not Brother Ford
I'm your fool