One of Our Dinosaurs Is Missing (1975) - full transcript

[ British accent ]
Once upon a time...

During those incredible years
after world war I,

when ruthless warlords
ruled the people of China...

You know, my grandchildren
never seem to weary

of hearing
that most thrilling tale

of how I got
the legendary lotus "x"

out of China once and for all.

My real troubles began
in a little, hillside town

near the Tibetan border.

[ Man speaking Chinese ]

[ Speaking Chinese ]



[ Crowing ]

Let go! Go away!

Get off! Ohh!

[ Crunching ]

[ Water gurgles ]

Thanks for the lift, old boy.

I don't think
you're abominable at all.

[ Yeti growls ]

[ British accent ]
Thank you.

Good afternoon, lord southmere.

Whato, bunky.
How'd you know I was coming in?

It's supposed to be
hush-hush.

Lotus "x"...
Did you get it?

I'd rather not talk
about it here.



Of course.
I understand.

I say, old man,
what is lotus "x"?

Between you and me,
it's the greatest thing

since the Chinese
invented gunpowder.

How about marshal wu tsai?

Does he know you pinched
his lotus "x"?

I think you could say that.

His men searched me
three times in manchuria.

Then they tried to do me in
in a washroom.

I expect you're glad
to be back in London...

Give you a chance to...

Well, speak up, man.
Don't mumble.

[ Chinese accent ]
Your car, your lordship.

Ah, thank you.

Mr. Haines has gone to look
for your lordship's luggage.

I have to come back
and pick him up later.

[ Horn blares ]

I haven't seen you before,
have I, driver?

That's right, sir.
New boy.

[ Tires screech ]

Can you tell me
why we're taking this route?

Kensington high street
all torn up...

Putting in new gas main,
I shouldn't wonder.

Now, would you just go back
to Kensington high street,

if you'll be so kind.

Sir? I would guess, sir,

the umbrella pointing at my back

is actually a gun.

For a new boy, your surmise
is remarkably accurate.

Don't make a fuss,
your lordship.

If you notice,

we are followed very closely
by friends of mine.

Professional assassins?

You might say that, sir.

[ Tires screeching ]

Come on!
[ Speaking Chinese ]

Well, I never did!

Stop! Leave that alone!

Don't you dare touch my baby!

[ Indistinct yelling ]

Stop that disturbance!

[ Alarm ringing ]

[ "Rock-a-bye, baby" plays ]

Come on!
Get out of here!

Get out of here!

[ Chinese accent ]
Plan "d."

Yes, master.

Outrageous! Can't think
what came over the fellow.

Well, he won't get far,
I promise you.

[ Yelling in Chinese ]

Just a moment, sir.

Do you know anything
about this lot?

Indeed I do, my good man.

Chinese cultural mission...
Just arrived.

Well, that explains it,
I suppose, yes.

I'm just doing my duty, sir.
Sorry.

[ Spectators applaud ]

[ Man speaking Chinese ]

Yes, master.

You search over there.

Lord castleberry, go and see
what's happened to your nanny.

I'm sure she's all right.

I'm not going to look after
your sister forever.

Oh, all right.

Ohh!

Search it!

Famous western fishing story...

Prophet Jonah save life
by hiding in belly of whale.

Incorrect...
Whale swallow Jonah for lunch.

No time
for gastronomic discussion.

Search it!

Young man,
why did you take my pram?

Oh, I'm so sorry.
I'm afraid I...

Nanny?

Master Edward!

How my little boy has grown!

Of course I've grown, nanny.

I was only 6 when you left.

Are you all right,
master Edward?

No, nanny...
I had a bit of a... bump.

I'm afraid I... I...

Oh, Emily, get a doctor!

No, nanny.
Now, listen carefully.

I'm on a vital mission
with not a moment to lose.

Repeat that.

Vital mission...
Not a moment to lose.

I'm afraid
your mind's wandering.

It's lotus "x."

It's a very small piece of film.

I hid it on the dinosaur.

You must find it
before the others do.

Before the others do?

The big dinosaur.

The big dinosaur?

Shall we take it to the police?

No, not the police...
Certainly not to the police.

The army?

Or the prime minister?

No, you must take it to...

Oh, dear, he's fainted again.

Can we be of any assistance,
ladies?

Lord southmere's
had an accident.

I am well known as a doctor
in my own country.

This is my second opinion,
Dr. quon.

We will take a look at him.

[ Speaking Chinese ]

Oh, I do hope everything
is going to be all right.

They're foreigners, you know.

Stop fussing, Emily.

Master Edward
has told us what to do,

and we're going to do it.

Master Edward
was always so delicate.

I never dreamt he'd grow up
to be a secret agent.

You really think
that's what he is?

Only possible explanation.

On our side, of course.

But when we find lotus "x,"

where are we going to take it?

I shall take it to the king.

I consider him
extremely trustworthy.

There you are, nanny.

Peter's nanny is getting
fed up to the teeth

looking after Jennifer.

And I could do with my tea.

The notice says,
"closed for redecoration,"

so hop it!

Don't be impertinent!

Quiet, Emily.

We'll come back some other time.

Don't call us, we call you.

[ British accent ]
I also do paper tearing,

dragon imitations,
Chinese card tricks,

thought reading,
oriental contortions,

and I throw my voice.

Nothing else?

Sometimes I double
as maitre d'...

Very suave.

Start tonight.
We split the tips.

I liked it better
when we had curio shop as front.

Much more dignity
than this crummy nightclub.

[ Chanting ] [ Chanting ]

Tell me, quon,
how is englishman?

Either he's beginning to crack,
or I'm beginning to crack.

You think our Chinese
water torture is bad?

Ever have an englishman explain
a game of cricket to you?

[ Indistinct yelling ]

Southmere: How well
you know your business.

This diabolical cell,
the sinister tap of water,

the bloodcurdling shriek
of the plumbing

is like souls in torment.

How dare you, sir!

This is the star dressing room.

We have no intention
of torturing you.

No bamboo splinters
underneath the fingernails?

You have seen too many films
with Anna may wong.

I always said you chaps
were out of date.

Apart from this,
if you don't mind me saying,

it's positively medieval,
it seems to me.

We are people of very ancient
tradition, your lordship.

You realize I'm not a spy.

Ha ha ha ha!

I'm just a simple businessman.

That is the usual cover,
isn't it, sir?

Would you care
to sit... down?

Awfully nice of you.

[ Speaking Chinese ]

Your lordship...

Please tell us all you know
about lotus "x."

Lotus "x"?

Isn't that what Mr. quon
keeps harping about?

I wish I could help you,
old boy.

Why can you not help us?

That bash I had
on my old bean...

It put my memory on the blink.

Loss of memory...
Very convenient.

I like the old days

with the bamboo splinters
under the fingernails...

Help restore memory.

Quon, I got my own methods.

[ Chuckles ]

Lord southmere...

Yes? Listening, old boy.

I'll put my cards on the table.
This is what I think.

In order to bring the formula
into the country,

you transformed it onto
a very small piece of film,

which was very easy to hide.

How is that for a deduction?

Whatever you say.

I don't like to teach
you fellows

your... ha ha... business.

My question is the following...

Where is the film now?

Ah, yes, I mean, where indeed?

Well, I and...

Lord southmere, when you
came into the country,

you and your luggage
was very carefully examined.

You were watched day and night,

and there was no opportunity

for you to pass it
to anyone else.

That, I'm absolutely cer...
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

The nanny...

The nanny in the museum...

The nanny
who was looking after you.

Yes, nice old gal, isn't she?

Either she has the formula,
or she knows where you hid it!

Whatever you say,
my dear fellow.

Where does she live?

It's the first time
I've seen her for 25 years.

25 years?

What is her name?

Well, I mean...

"Wilamine."
[Well, I mean]

No, nanny, of course.

Must have some other name
besides nanny!

I have no idea what it is.

Everybody just calls her...
Nanny.

Ridiculous...
Even for English!

[ Chuckles ] [ Chuckles ]

Well, lord southmere,
if there's anything we can do

to make you more comfortable,

do not hesitate to scream.

Find that nanny.

Not easy...
All English look alike.

Those eyes... you can never tell
what they are thinking.

Most time,
they think of nothing.

That's our problem.

Don't come back without nanny.

Come along, dear.

...a relief nurse
on my afternoons off.

And she said, "nevertheless,
I have decided

to look after the children
myself."

[ Ducks quacking ]
[ Coughing ]

Woman:
Come and sit down, Amy.

You do look tired.

Master Peter
kept me up with the croup.

Sometimes I think
he does it to spite me.

You know what children are like.

Anything for attention.
[ Crunch ]

Emily, so glad you came.

Is there any word
of lord southmere?

Just a moment, dear.

Master Richard,
you need some exercise.

Go for a brisk walk.

Richard: I'm reading.

Lady Alice doesn't like you
to read so much.

Always said
it gave his father brain fever.

Come on, Richard.

I want to take my snake
for a crawl in the grass.

Oh, all right.

Wouldn't you like to go?

No, thank you.

Not a word from master Edward.

I've telephoned his club.

They haven't heard from him
for months.

I'm beginning to wonder if
that nice foreign gentleman

really was a doctor.

I do wish we could go
to the police.

Oh, absolutely not.

Master Edward
expressly forbade it.

What are we going to do?

I have a plan.

It's rather ingenious,
though I say so myself.

What we do is this...

[ Baby crying ]

Perhaps we should take you
for a stroll.

[ Bear growling ]

Ugh!

Then we have Susan carmody

who looks after
Mrs. haven-smight's twins.

Too young to be a nanny
in my opinion,

but quite suitable
for our operation.

Now, who else have we?
Ah, tilly day.

Tilly would be excellent.

Just about time.
They'll be waiting for us.

I do hope these young persons
will measure up.

I'm afraid nannies
are not quite what they were

when we were young.

Stop!

Haaa!
Awake, benighted one!

Where is that confounded quon?

There.

[ Rattling ]

[ Ice cracking ]

What did you hear?

What did nanny lady say?!

[ Air rushes ]

I can't tell you
the purpose of the mission

for which
you have been selected.

It is a matter of tremendous
national importance.

So I know you young people
will do your duty

for king and country.

We will meet at
the natural history museum

at 10 minutes
before closing time.

[ Singing in Chinese ]

[ Bell ringing ]

Closing time.
All visitors out, please.

Closing time.
All visitors out.

The museum is closing.
All visitors out, if you please.

We'll give them
five more minutes.

Oh, this is so exciting!

I feel absolutely biblical,

hiding inside a whale's belly.

[ Door closes ]

Shh! Someone's coming.

Man: So glad you like
our dinosaurs, Mr. Spence.

We are rather proud of them.

[ Southern accent ]
They got size, all right.

What we go for back home
is size.

I'm from Texas.

I would never have guessed.

Linda sue... she wants to buy
somethin' antiquated...

Preferable somethin' big.

I had it in the back of my mind

to buy somethin' big.

Doggone, we sure would make
their eyes pop back home

with one
of them dinosaur things.

We could stick it in the hall
or put it in the pond.

No. My dear sir,
we have no dinosaurs for sale

nor any future plans
for selling them.

Now, if you'll excuse me, sir.

If you ain't as sly as
a one-eyed amarillo coyote

in Dallas chicken country.

Ha ha ha ha!

You just been leadin' me on.

You just know this country boy's

got to have that
big old dinosaur, don't ya?

Ha ha ha ha!

All right, ladies.

[ Syncopated "rock-a-bye, baby"
plays ]

Maureen, you take the first
three ribs on the left side.

Yes, nanny.

Nora, you take the next three.

Yes, nanny.

Daphne, you take
the left fibia and tibia.

Daphne:
What's that?

The hind leg, of course.

With all that weight,

suppose the beast fell
on top of us.

Then we would be the first
people in two million years

to be killed by a dinosaur.

Oh.

Woman: Tea's up.

Ohh! Ohh!

Oh-ho-ho! Ohh!

Aaaaaaah!

Quiet!

All right, ladies...

That's enough larking about.

Emily, what on earth
are you doing?

I decided to help them upstairs.

All right, ladies.

Emily, are you all right?

A little dizzy, that's all.

Close your eyes and hold on!

I'll send someone
to get you down.

And stay on the ground
from now on.

Yes, hettie.

Sorry we have to go,

but we do have children
to look after.

Of course, you must.

I quite understand.

I didn't think
this would take so long.

Thank you all for coming.

Don't make too much noise

when you climb
through the window.

Do you mind if I stay?

My children are at the seaside
with their grandmother.

Of course, but come down
and have a cup of tea.

I've never had such a wonderful
time in my whole life.

Whee!

[ Thud ]

I hope you don't behave
like that

in front of the children.

Oh, no, but I do sometimes
slide down the banisters

when everybody's out.

When you've finished your tea,

I wish you'd have another
look at the left femur.

I don't want to upset you,

but we've been over every inch
of that beast again and again.

I think we should go home.

You heard
what master Edward said.

"A vital mission...

You must find it
before the others do."

Whoever the others are.

Others already here.

Excuse me, ladies.

You will come with me, please?

Attention, ladies,
his radiant presence approaches.

Hup! Hup!

His revered master...
Hnup wan.

Hnup wan... of course!

I thought there was something
familiar about you

when I saw you at the museum.

But so grown up now,
so important!

You know me, lady?

The son
of the Chinese ambassador.

Who could ever forget
darling, little "panda nose,"

pet of the diplomatic set?

Panda nose?

Characteristic
occidental nonsense.

English like to give
their children pet names,

like fish, puppies, kittens,
fowl, and the rest of it.

Panda nose! Ha ha ha!

Quon, quon, that is enough.

Hettie: This is nice.

And your nanny said you would
never amount to anything.

"A difficult child," she said,
"clever in some ways,

but rather backward
with his toilet training."

[ Snickering ]

Milk or lemon?

Milk, of course.

Mind you put it in
before the tea.

Lady, I know how to serve tea.

Chinese have been pouring tea
for many thousands of years

before British even knew
about it!

How perfectly ridiculous!

Historical fact!

Chinese were making tea
while the English were swinging

by their tails from the trees!

How dare you, sir!
I demand an apology!

Sit down, dear, please.

Personally, I've always
admired the Chinese people.

After all,
they did discover tea.

Which the English stole from us.

Then English built mighty empire

on formula stolen from Chinese.

Am I understood?

Of course, it is a matter

of making the tea properly
in the first place.

First, you bring the water
to a rapid boil, and...

I don't need a lesson
in how to make tea!

Thank you very much
all the same.

I want lotus "x",

which your lord southmere
stole from us!

And his excellency,
marshal wu tsai,

is most insistent
it be returned to us.

[ Chanting ]

Perhaps English ladies
know what lotus "x" is.

Would help to know
what lotus "x" really is.

Do you wish
these foreign women to know

that you do not know
what lotus "x" really is?!

[ Groans ] Ha ha!

You must forgive failings
of Mr. quon.

With water torture
and bamboo splinters,

he is best man in business,
but he is young.

Now then,
where is lord southmere?

What have you done with him?

According to the information
of Mr. quon,

you were observed to spend
several hours searching

for what appeared to be
a small object

on a dinosaur in the museum.

You did not find
the small object,

which lead me to believe that
your search was inadequate,

or else that lord southmere
failed to tell you

where he had hidden
said small object.

You may think what you like.

I demand to see lord southmere.

That is precisely
what I wish you to do.

Fan choy!

Oh, there you are.

Show these ladies
to his lordship's quarters.

Come this way, ladies.

Master hnup...

Mark my words... nanny
is going to be very cross

if she finds lord southmere
in anything less

than the best of health.

Is that clear?

Yes, nanny.

You let English woman
talk to you like that...

You, who are one
of the tigers of China?!

They also call me
"the muscle of Mongolia."

But with her, you were
tame, little "panda nose."

As you heard, I was brought up
by an English nanny.

That is why I speak English
better than you do.

Once English nanny
has had you in her power,

you're never quite the same
again.

Every time
that woman open her mouth,

I tremble
in every fiber of my being.

[ Indistinct yelling ]

Move on, please.

Oh, hello, nanny.

How good to see you.

Are you all right?

Did you manage to get the film?

Oh, I'm sorry, we were
interrupted by those people.

It would have all been
so much easier, lord southmere,

if only you had bothered
to tell nanny

where on dinosaur
you had hidden it.

I really can't remember.

It might be
that bang on the head.

It produces a form
of amnesia sometimes.

This room is
unhealthy... no air.

They chained you to the wall!
How terrible for you!

But to look
on the brighter side,

amnesia very often disappear

given good care and attention.

So out of compassion,
lord southmere,

I am leaving you three nurses

to look after you
till your memory return.

[ Lock clicks ]

You can't lock us up!
We have children to look after!

Fan choy...

Oh. Telephone
these ladies' employers.

Ask them to make
temporary arrangements.

Master hnup!

You wouldn't be afraid

of a poor, little old nanny
like me...

...would you?

Yes, nanny.

He always was a rude little boy.

This is awfully exciting.

Imagine meeting a real spy!

Southmere:
I'm not a spy.

Why does everybody
keep saying that I'm a spy?

You're not a spy?

Don't be upset, child.
They always say that.

Haven't you read books?

This is Susan.

How do you do?

Quite well, thank you.

You remember Emily...

From the museum.

Oh, yes!

Young woman...

Me?

Telephone number.

[ Man screaming ]

They must be very strong.

I'm just as strong.

Oh?

Two times as strong!

I have a boyfriend
who can throw up a brick

and break it with one hand...
Like this.

Very easy.

Watch.

Haaa!

Wonderful!

Do it again.

Those bricks are all crumbly.

This is just
a moldy, old partition wall.

Okay, watch what I do
to that wall.

Can you do that?

Haaaa!
Haaaa!

Hurry up, hettie.

Well... it's you, nanny.

What's the meaning
of this curious behavior?

Never you mind.

Mine to know, yours to find out.

Get back to your beds,

or there'll be trouble
in the camp.

Oh, all right, nanny.

And put that snake
back in its box.

I don't want to find it
in your bed again.

Broken wall being repaired...

No one will escape
from dressing room in future.

In meantime,
important dispatch from home.

Ahhhh.

[ Speaking Chinese ]

Why has this not been decoded?!

It has.

First, English telegram system,

next, we put it
into secret code,

then, through foreign-devil
office typewriter,

then, through
our own coding room.

It very simple.

If so simple, kindly read.

"A secret communiqué...

"Cannot stress too strongly
importance of lotus 'x.'

"failure to recover will result
in many heads rolling.

Repeat...
Many heads will roll."

[ Chuckles ]

While reading, why so cheerful?

Quon, I have been aware
for some time

that you seek to replace me

as chief of London
intelligence agency.

One cannot blame
young, capable warrior

for wanting to better himself.

Imprudent
of young, capable warrior

to indulge in festival
of self-congratulation

while still so much to do.

How shall we begin, my master?

Many nannies
search dinosaur beast

for many hours, find nothing.

Unworthy one,
who seek my personal job,

I will now show you
the difference in thinking

which separate the lion
from the jackal,

coolie from lord of creation,

rickshaw boy
from [Chuckles] passenger.

Yes?

We shall steal dinosaur.

Steal... dinosaur?!

Steal dinosaur.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

I tremble before
my radiant lord and master!

He is the rising sun!

He is the mighty yangtze river
in spring flood!

He is the snowcapped himalayas!

He is the rolling sea!

He is the flowers of spring.

I tremble.

I am prostrate.

Now you're getting the idea.

Children:
♪ "five farthings," ♪

♪ say the bells
of St. Martins... ♪

What do we do now?
Do you think those Chinese...

Shh! Shh!

Master Richard...

Join in the game
with the others.

I'm too old
for that sort of thing, nanny.

At my age, Mozart had already
composed six concertos.

I don't care what those
foreign boys get up to.

Go and join in the game.

Oh, all right.

I'm not climbing around
on that dinosaur anymore.

You won't need to.
I've made up my mind.

I'm going to wait
for those Chinese

to make the first move.

But how will we know?

♪ ...say the bells
of St. clements... ♪

It's Susan's day off.

I've sent her down to soho
to keep an eye on them...

That Italian coffee place.

Opposite the nightclub?

We're going down there
after the party.

Forbes, I'm going to be
late tonight.

I want you to look after
the children.

Very good, nanny.

Emily, does that old,
clattery motorbike

of yours still run?

Of course it does.

Bring it along.
We may need it.

Has anything happened?

I've had 12 cups
of coffee without milk,

but that's all.

[ Engine backfires ]

[ Engine turns off ]

How's it running?

We're in luck.
I just had it tuned.

Look!

"Limehouse Harmony club
annual outing"...

I don't believe that
for a moment.

[ Speaking Chinese ]

They're making their move.

But what move is it?

I don't know.
Emily, you must follow them.

I'm off.

Telephone us
if you find out anything.

Can I go, too?

Certainly not.

[ Horn blares ]

Splendid! All those Chinese
out of the way at last.

I'm going in
to rescue master Edward.

Oh, I'm so excited.
Aren't I going, too?

You stay here and wait
for Emily to telephone.

We'll find something exciting
for you to do later.

[ Horn honks ]

Nanny seems to be leading
a double life.

Come on.

[ Gasps ]

They're just masks.

Jolly lifelike, don't you think?

I should say so.

Let's get out of here.

It's starting to scare my snake.

Nonsense.
We haven't found nanny yet.

[ Indistinct talking ]

Woman: Operator.

Will you try soho-3124 again,
please?

[ Speaking Italian ]

I'm sorry,
soho-3124 is still engaged.

Peter: Here she comes.

Aaah! Aaah!

I don't know who you are
or what you think you're doing,

but you can't frighten me.

I told you it wouldn't work.

[ Tires screech ]

[ Engine backfires ]

[ Engine turns off ]

Where's hettie?! The Chinese
are going to the museum!

She went in there.

She wanted to rescue
lord southmere.

Go and fetch her
as quick as you can!

Found my way to you at last,
master Edward.

Wonderful because I've got
frightfully good news.

As near as makes no difference,
my memory's come back.

Master Edward,
I've come to get you out.

I can remember
where I hid that film

in that blasted dinosaur.

I can see it all now...

Climbing up
the right-hand front leg

and then up onto the vertebrae.

Listen to this, nanny...
I hid the piece of film

on the nape
of the creature's neck.

Nape of the neck?

Emily's back,

and the Chinese
are on their way to the museum.

You must get over there and
put a spoke in their wheel.

[ Engine backfires ]

[ Engine turns over ]

It's lord southmere,
a friend of father's,

and he seems to be
in a bit of a pickle.

Oh, it's young castleberry.

Whatever brings you here?

Don't worry, sir.
We'll call the police.

Have you out of here
jolly quick.

No, no, don't do that.
Anything but that.

You mean you want
to be chained to a wall?

Father always said
you were an odd bit of mutton.

Oh, really? Yes.

The situation
is extremely sensitive.

Don't know what you mean, sir.

Wouldn't want to cause
embarrassment in high places.

What high places, sir?

Can you explain that, sir?

At the moment, no.
My lips are sealed.

He's a spy.

Why does... why does everyone
keep on saying that?

I'm just
an ordinary businessman.

Oh, dear.

What's the matter?

Henrietta's got loose.

Who's h-h-h-henrietta?

Ooh!

Bad, bad snake.
Get in there, henrietta.

Goodbye, sir.

Bye, sir.

One question,
o brilliant master.

Yes, o youthful seeker
of knowledge?

The large boxes that we took
from warehouse...

Why are they all marked
"soy sauce"?

Probably because they've got
soy sauce in them.

Ah.

What will we do
with so much soy sauce?

It is impolite to take
a dinosaur from a museum

without leaving something
in return.

Ah!

[ Horn blares, tires screech ]

[ Bell rings ]

[ Bell rings ]

[ Horn honks ] Ohh!

Look out!

Sorry!

Whoo!

Sorry!

You drive!
I'll make the apologies!

[ Whistle blows ]

[ Engines turn off ]

Good evening, my good man.

Good evening, sir.

Could you kindly open
the door for me?

That door?

I don't know about that, sir.

Hang on a moment, will you?

Big door.

Mr. thumley, I'm so glad
you're still here.

It's those oriental blokes.
They're at the loading dock.

They want me to open
the big door.

What oriental blokes?!

I have no idea, but they brought
a lot of crates with them.

We're going the wrong way!

I'm trying a shortcut!

Don't try to be clever!
Turn here!

[ Tires screech,
engine backfires ]

Wait till I tell my mum
about this!

[ Speaking Chinese ]

Now, just a moment!

What on earth's going on here?

You are curator?

Actually, no, that would be
sir Geoffrey Wilkins.

Curator is in there?

No, he's in yugoslavia...

A matter of acquiring
a butterfly collection.

Sir Geoffrey must have
told you before he left

about the famous
hoan ling collection...

A generous gift
of Chinese government

to his majesty's museum.

He certainly didn't.

You mean he has forgotten?

My government is bound to take

the most serious possible view
of this.

I'm afraid
I shall have no alternative

but to telegraph Peking.

Oh, no. I'm afraid there's
been a misunderstanding.

Oh!

And you blame this
misunderstanding on Chinese?

Ohh! How typical!

Ohh! How typical!!

I didn't mean that at all.
I'm most dreadfully sorry.

I'll telephone
your ambassador myself.

Excuse me.

[ Glass shatters ]

[ Speaking Chinese ]

I'm glad to see
everything's going well.

What did ambassador say?

I'm afraid he was out of town
on holiday.

Seems to be picking up
English habits.

I also pick up a thing or two.

Please do go ahead

with whatever it was
you planned to do.

Sorry I didn't quite understand
the first time, sir.

Ready for next part of plan,
radiant master.

Bring out the dinosaur,

but be very careful
not to damage the floor.

Uh, excuse me.

Can't you see we're very busy?

I know you think it
foolish of me,

but it sounded precisely
as though you said

you were going to take
the dinosaur.

That is precisely
what I did say.

Now, look, I don't want to make

the same mistake twice
the same evening.

I'm afraid we're having
another misunderstanding.

Would it help if I explain it
in very simple language?

Thank you so much.

We wish to borrow the dinosaur

until we have found
what we want.

Once we find what we want,

we shall return dinosaur
to museum.

Surely sir Geoffrey
has told you about that.

Certainly not. It's quite
out of the question.

We don't permit people
to borrow from the museum.

It's not a lending library,
you know.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

I fear we are going to have
an ugly quarrel.

Fan choy...

Aaaaaaaaah!

They're going to steal
our dinosaur!

Hey!

You leave that alone!

Come on, lads!

Dinosaur...

...move!

[ Yelling in Chinese ]

Stop them!

Use the bone!

[ Speaking Chinese ]

Aaaaaaaaaah!

Nice goings-on.
Where are you taking us, eh?

My wife likes me to keep
regular hours, you know.

You go to countryside...

One day, maybe two...

Then we let you go.

My wife will want
to know about this!

You're not going to take me
as well?

Sir Geoffrey has told you
nothing at all.

Aaaaaaah!

Dinosaur ready!

Aah!

It's alive!

Quon: Master,
nanny ladies steal dinosaur!

Quon, we follow it!

[ Tires screech ]

[ Horn blares ]

Are you sure you know
how to drive this thing?

It's just like
an ordinary lorry.

Can you drive a lorry?

Of course I can.

During the war, I drove
the farm lorry several times.

They're after us!

Don't worry.

I'll get those poor
Chinese gentlemen so lost

no one will ever see them again.

You realize you are allowing
those women to get away?

You're supposed to be
such a good driver.

Faster!

Faster!

Mind the fog!

[ Tires screeching ]

Dear me!

[ Glass shatters ]

Now you have lost 'em!

Do not worry, master.

I will find them again.

[ Speaking Chinese ]

Well?

Always you are right,
worthy master.

I have lost them.

Drive on, unworthy pupil.

[ Engine turns over ]

Aah! Aah!
Aah!

Everybody back in car.

No, master.
Everybody go home.

Absolutely no sign
of the Chinese.

I told you
I could get rid of them.

Careful!
We're coming to a main road!

Don't worry.
I'll hoot the hooter.

[ Whistle blows ]

Oh!

[ Horns honking ]

[ Tires screech ]

Where are we
supposed to be going anyway?!

Don't rush me, dear.

I haven't had time
to make up my mind.

As a matter of fact,

I don't even know
where we are now.

Darnation!

Ohh!

What the blue blazes
do you think...

I'm very sorry, I'm sure.

A couple of pockets picked, sir,

and one nice smash-and-grab,
that's all.

Bank holiday...
The sharp boys must have taken

their wives and kiddies
to the seaside.

Everything else calm?

Would I lie to you, sir?

You're strangely quiet, my love.

This thing
seems to be losing its zip.

Try poking the fire, Emily.

No good.

It's almost out of coal.

Put some more on.

All right.

[ Horse neighs ]

[ Crash ]

We're going better now.

Should be.
I've shoveled enough coal.

Did you have to get it
all over your face, too?

I was just trying to do
a thorough job.

[ Indistinct conversation ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Scottish accent ]
It's Nessie!

[ Scottish accent ]
Why would she leave

the crystal waters of loch ness

for a dirty, old, muddy
London river?

It's a sad end indeed for
the loyal Scottish monster.

[ Indistinct yelling ]

[ Animals growling ]

Our chaps
are a bit restless tonight.

Well, it's that time
of the year...

Mating season, you know.

Poor old high pockets.

They haven't found a mate
for her yet.

[ Slow, soft music plays ]

More coal, Emily.

Oh, very well.

Can I help?

I can manage perfectly well
myself, thank you!

[ Clanking ]

Will you stop that infernal...

Good gracious!

Wonderful luck, my dear...

A creature
I've never bagged before!

Look magnificent
over the fireplace!

[ Gun cocks ]

[ Clicks ]

Blast the thing!
Aah!

Come back in, dear.

The night air is bad
for your bronchitis.

Back as soon as I can, my love!

Oh, look...
There's colonel Mortimer

riding down the street
on a dinosaur.

How very odd.

Now he's fallen off.

You there!

Pull up!

He's got away!
We must go after him!

I need him for me trophy room!
Most extraordinary creature!

Has it got a long tail
and a long neck?

Yes, enormous!

Drive on! Thank you.

Wait for me!

Drive on, man! Drive on!

[ Horn blares ]

Dinosaur!

Colonel:
Faster, man! Faster!

[ Gunshot ]

They've found us again!

[ Whistle blows ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ Yelling in Chinese ]

[ Gunshot ]
Steady! Steady!

That's it!

[ Gunshot ]

Ha ha ha ha!

[ Tires screech ]

Keep it straight, man!

[ Whistle blows ]

[ Horn blaring ]

[ Gunshots ]

No, no!
You're going the wrong way!

Isn't this thrilling?!

I'm not thrilled!
I'm damaged!

Aah!
I'm not the damn laundry!

What happened to this road?!

It isn't a road, dear.
It's grass.

We're on a racecourse.

Man: Place your bets,
ladies and gentlemen!

Evens
on the long-necked filly!

4 to 1 on the gray!
7 to 1 bar!

Ha ha ha ha!

Move faster.

[ Horn blares ]

Stop your vehicle, madam.

I'll thank you not
to order me about, "panda nose."

If you don't do as I say,

I shall be forced to resort
to the gravest measures.

Indeed!

The long-necked filly's
run out!

Evens on the Chestnut!

I'm giving evens
on the Chestnut!

Where do we go now?!

Look out!

There's the other one!

Do stop fussing, Emily.

Faster!

[ Yelling in Chinese ]

[ Metal clanging ]

Hee-hee! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Fan choy, next time,
I drive both cars.

[ Groans ]

Wait a minute.

[ Rattling ]

[ Whistle blows ]

I don't want to worry you,

but I think
we just got on a train.

Oh, dear. How do you make
this thing go backwards?

[ Whistle blows ]

I wish I knew
where we were going.

Oh, I do hope
it's somewhere exciting.

[ Gasps ] Dinosaur!

Dinosaur!

Goodbye, "panda nose"!

Where am I?

Why, england, sir.

You are lost, aren't you, sir?

[ Groans ]

No, Mrs. thumley,
we haven't heard a thing.

I quite understand
how worried you must be...

Good morning, miss Prescott.

The conquering hero returns.

I got them!
I got the lot...

Every butterfly
in the collection!

I'm so glad you're here.

I wanted to call the police,
but...

You must call the press!
Call everyone!

Call your friends,
call your mother!

What a glorious day!
Where's that idiot thumley?

He must share this moment
with me.

I don't know where anyone is.

No one here...
No guards, no one,

particularly no Mr. thumley.

No thumley?
He's always on time...

Always been on time
to the point of idiocy.

Ring him up.

I did. Mrs. thumley
doesn't know where he is.

Didn't come home last night.

Would you like to speak
to Mrs. thumley?

Make it a rule
never to interfere

in a subordinate's
personal situations.

Sly old dog!

The butterflies, sir Geoffrey...
Are they nice?

Are you pleased?

Pleased?! Pleased?!
Hardly the word.

I'm dotty with joy!
They are magnificent!

Explode a bombshell
never to be forgotten

in British lepidoptera circles.

I almost forgot.
There's someone to see you...

A Mr. haycock from
the British news association.

I put him
in Mr. thumley's office.

Must have got wind
of my butterflies.

Amazing how the news
gets around.

Ah! Good morning
to you, sir.

Haycock, sir.

British news association...
Nothing escapes you.

No wonder you chaps

are the admiration
of the journalistic world.

I wonder
if you could help me, sir.

Ah, yes...
The yugoslavian butterflies.

The case of advanced specimens
should be here

from the station
sometime this morning.

When I arrived in Dubrovnik...

It's not the butterflies.

We've heard rumors
about a dinosaur

moving around London.

Wonder if you could throw
some light on the situation.

Dinosaur?

R-ridiculous.
They've been extinct

for hundreds of thousands
of years.

I understand that.

Could it, perhaps,
be a dinosaur skeleton?

Could someone have stolen it?

Preposterous! Who would steal
a dinosaur skeleton?

No market for it.

How would you pawn
a dinosaur skeleton, eh?

You're not making sense,
young man.

It couldn't be one of
your dinosaurs, could it?

Certainly not.

Not one of mine,
I can assure you.

Not likely one of them
wandering about loose.

I run a tight ship here.

Could I see your dinosaur?

It would give me the background
to write a proper story.

Of course. Of course.

And afterwards,
we can have a chat

about my butterflies, shall we?

Our brontosaurus

is one of the finest specimens
in Europe...

60 feet from the tip
of the tail to the head.

Speaking of finest specimens,
my butterflies...

I really am more interested
in the dinosaur.

[ Speaking German ]

[ Speaking French ]

Home secretary here.

Sir Geoffrey, the cabinet
has just been discussing

the disastrous occurrence
at your museum.

You can imagine how distressed
the prime minister was by it.

You know the foreign press...

Making britain a laughingstock.

The French prime minister

has already been on the phone...

Bad jokes
in extremely poor taste.

Our problem
is with the smaller countries.

How can they believe
britain will protect them

if britain can't protect
its own dinosaur?!

I venture to say this may be
the moment for some good news.

W-w-what good news?

About the collection
of yugoslavian butterflies

I've managed
to bring to this country.

They'll make your head
positively reel with delight!

Good day, sir!

[ Distressed bleating ]

How much further are we going?

I've told you, dear...

We have to find a safe place
to hide the dinosaur.

Then you'd better hurry up.

We've only five pieces
of coal left.

Oh, dear.

I do hope, superintendent,

you'll be able
to get it back for us

without too much delay.

I've pulled fellows like you
out of trouble before.

Me and my boys,
we're all experts.

Take sergeant bromley...

Most extraordinary nose
in the British empire.

[ Sniffs ] I see you've
changed your hair oil again.

Suits you better
than that viennese muck

you were using last year.
[ Clears throat ]

And this is Dr. freemo.
He estimates things.

How do you do?

Sir Geoffrey Wilkins...
54 years old,

all original teeth,
weight... 13 stone, 1 pound,

an ounce and a half...
Blue underpants, probably.

Pets...

That's enough, freemo.
Get on the case now.

Time for conversation...

One minute, 32 seconds.

Purpose of conversation...
Shoptalk.

No use whatsoever, really.

Scientific criminology...
Oh, you can't beat it.

Perfect place
to hide a dinosaur.

Except for that.

Well, there won't be anyone
about to see it.

What's all these bits
of paper for?

I think that means
a paper chase,

and I think
that's what's coming now!

Oh!

Quick!

Quickly!

Quickly, Emily.

That's the way, boys!
That's the way!

That's the way, boys!
Right around that way!

Run along.
You're doing beautifully.

Hurry, hurry.

Oh! Thought they had us
that time.

Get up, Emily.
We have work to do.

Yes.

The home secretary
to see you, sir.

Glad you could drop in, sir.

We're hard at it,
as you can see.

Carry on, grubbs,
just as though I wasn't here.

Carry on, sergeant.

Never mind about the paint
and turpentine smells.

What else have you found?

In square m-8,

I get four types of soap,
running to lavender,

lilac, and heliotrope...
Characteristic of older women.

Then there's talcum powder,

frequently used in nurseries.

Moving on to m-9...

As always with a vacuum pickup,

there's always plenty of dust...
Cigarette ash,

tobacco... certainly
of north China origin...

Biscuit crumbs...
Petit buerre variety...

Threads of cotton fiber
from low-cost stockings...

And four strands
of women's hair...

Three brown, one bleached.

Taking it all in all

and as a result
of all the foregoing facts,

I have reason to reach
the following conclusions...

A group of British nannies,
numbering more than six,

acting in concert
with a group of aliens,

more than 15
of oriental extraction,

have conspired
to pilfer the dinosaur.

Orientals and nannies?

Why on earth would they do that?

The motive, sir...

That is precisely the subject
of my next inquiry.

Excellent.

I knew I could count on you,
superintendent.

Orientals and nannies...

The roots are deep, grubbs.
Mark my words.

The roots are deep.

Just to let you know,
we always have our eye on you.

Jolly decent of you
to remind me,

and it's very kind of you
to take that chain off.

That feels a lot better.

I have decided to change
my tactics with you.

Lord southmere, you do not
respond to harsh treatment.

I must say
I appreciate the change.

You know, time occur
when spirit should relax...

When one should put aside
all the tribulations

of our very dangerous
profession.

No, no...

Forget invisible ink,
forget fingerprints,

all the perils of espionage,

and just sit facing one another
like two friends.

No, you see...

[ Speaking Chinese ]

Cheers.

Thank you.

I wish you'd remember...
Do you see... sorry.

I'm not a spy.
I'm an ordinary businessman.

Ordinary businessman?

Precisely.

And yet you steal lotus "x"?

Great celestial leader...
Not very happy about this.

He don't like to have

his military secrets
stolen from him.

He not got so very many.

It make him...
How shall I put it... peevish.

Peevish. Peevish, yes.

I'm afraid I'm not very well up

on military secrets, actually.

I wouldn't know one end
of a Cannon from the other.

From other? [ Chuckles ]

And yet you conceal lotus "x"
on dinosaur!

And now your nanny
have stolen dinosaur.

Has she really?
How very resourceful.

She always was
an enterprising old girl.

You know your nanny.
Every man knows his nanny.

Where do you think
she would have taken it?

Haven't the foggiest idea.

Curious creatures... nannies.

One never knows
what they do on their day off.

Put me down!
Get off! Get off!

Found young englishmen
wandering around building.

Ow!

It's you again, castleberry.

I hardly think you should
keep hanging around here.

Well, sir,
nanny's disappeared again.

I thought she might have
turned up here.

Your nanny is,
at the present moment,

legging it
around the countryside

with a great, big dinosaur.

A dinosaur?!
That's jolly good!

Wait a moment.
Which big dinosaur?

Which dinosaur?

You mean there is more than one?

The museum's got a brontosaurus
and a pretty good diplodocus.

They're both dinosaurs,
you know.

They're both dinosaurs.

Lord southmere,

upon precisely which one
of both dinosaurs

did you place lotus "x"?

I can't help you on that one.

I'm not up on the names
of the beastly things.

I may have spent all night
chasing the wrong dinosaur?

It's not here.

It must be.

Didn't master Edward tell you
the nape of the neck?

Quite distinctly,

but then master Edward
must have been still muddled.

I'm going back to London.

We'd all like to do that.

No, you must stay here
and guard the dinosaur.

Susan, you collect plenty
of wood to fire up the boiler.

I shall speak
to master Edward again.

I'm sure that by now...

His memory
must be really recovered.

You can't walk in and out
of that Chinese place

as though you owned it.

There's no reason

why I shouldn't be able
to get in again.

How will you get to London?

I shall stand by the side
of the road and look pathetic.

I'm sure some kind gentleman
will give me a lift.

Come on, boy. [ Laughs ]

Hold on, sir.

This hall's closed
to the public.

Oh, dear. So it is.

First it was the painters,

then our brontosaurus
got pinched.

You may have read about it.

In the paper, I read something.

You've still got the diplodocus

as well as the pterodactyl.

Of course, the latter
is actually a prehistoric bird.

Brainy little nipper, ain't he?

All right, boys,
I'll tell you what...

We'll go and see the spiders.

Crikey, uncle, aren't we going
to see the dinosaurs?

Oh, poor little fellow.
My heart bleeds for them.

I, uh...
I know how you feel, sir.

I've got
a couple of nephews myself.

Uh, it can't hurt to, uh...

I'll let the lads
have a peek, sir.

Thank you, sir.
I-i haven't seen you.

You can't see me now.

Boys, go and play
with the pterodactyls.

I will go and look
at the diplodocus.

Diplodocus.

Ahhhhhh!

Ahhhhhh!

[ Chuckling ]

Thank you, boys.
I'm most obliged to you.

You learn too quickly.

Thank you, uncle.

Thank you, uncle.

But where are the boys?

I have no idea, nanny.

Gave them their luncheon,
and they just hopped it.

[ Telephone rings ]

I'll answer that.

Hello?

Emily: Hettie...

Oh, it's you, Emily.

I'm cold.

Yes, I know
it must be damp and cold.

I'm sorry you had to walk
so far to the telephone,

but, Emily,
I'm being as quick as I can.

I am about to take a taxi
to their place in soho.

Hello, nanny.
Hello, nanny.

Run along up to the nursery.

Where have you been
all afternoon?

You've got someone waiting
on the phone.

I'm aware of that.

We've been to the museum
with a Chinese gentleman.

It's the boys, Emily.
I'm waiting for them to...

What did you say?

Nothing, really.

Come along.

Stay where you are, both of you!

Susan: How long
do you want us to stay here?

Be quiet, Emily.
Oh, it's you, Susan.

What are you doing
on the telephone?

One of you
should be watching the...

The creature.

What creature, nanny...
An animal or something?

Or do you mean the dinosaur
from the museum?

What do you know
about the dinosaur?!

Only that it happens to be
the wrong dinosaur.

You've been chasing
all over London

with the wrong dinosaur.

Emily: Hettie...

Emily, do be quiet.
Something important is going on.

We might have saved you
a lot of trouble,

but, nope,
you wouldn't trust us.

All the time, it had to be
this silly nanny business...

"Clean your teeth,
comb your hair,

elbows off the table,
wipe your feet."

Nanny, it's very clear to me

that you've botched everything.

Master Richard, I will speak to
you later about your rudeness.

In the meantime, what is this
about going to the museum

with a Chinese gentleman?

The business to do
with the tiny piece of film...

His property, he said.

Truscott and I
were able to show him

to the right dinosaur.

Got his property back
without any trouble at all.

You know, nanny, there is
an easy way to do everything.

Emily, I've made a dreadful,
dreadful mistake.

We've stolen the wrong dinosaur,

and now the Chinese have
the film of lotus "x."

Then it's all over?

I'm afraid the difficult part
has only just begun.

Now that they have the film,

they won't need master Edward
anymore,

and there's no telling
what they might do with him.

I've got to do something
about it!

But, hettie...

[ Click ]

I have known that woman
for 30 years,

and I am not going to let her
get into trouble without me.

[ Whistle blowing ]

I'm afraid my wood
wasn't very dry.

[ Whistle blowing ]

Great celestial leader,
we are alone,

you and I.

I have not betrayed your trust.

Lotus "x" is found.

At last, I will share
your well-kept secret.

[ Sighs ]

Orders from celestial leader,
wu tsai.

No one may see lotus "x,"

least of all you, unworthy one.

Unworthy?
Where have you been, quon?

Doing my job...

Sending and receiving
messages from Peking.

You send message to Peking
without my permission?

All the time.

Peking appreciate
added information.

Such as?

I sent telegram to Peking,

saying your brilliant idea
for stealing dinosaur

has unfortunately ended
in complete disaster.

[ Gasps ]
How was the news received?

I am...

So sorry.

In a yak's eye, you sorry.

I am also new head
of London office.

Explanation, please!

Thanks for explanation.

The reluctant dragon
in soho, please.

Man: Certainly, madam.

The reluctant dragon
in soho, please.

What are you doing?

We're going with you.

You're going up to bed,
else nanny will be very cross.

You wouldn't want me to call
the police, would you?

Police?

It might cause a rumpus.

It might even turn up
in a newspaper.

Master Richard,
that's blackmail!

It is, isn't it?
Heard the latest?

"Lord castleberry's nanny

"pinched a dinosaur
from the museum,

got involved with foreign
spies... frightful mess."

You wouldn't dare!

The whole thing might
give nannies a bad name...

Bring the whole system
of nannies

crashing down about our ears.

Get in.

It ain't my fault
the place is empty.

What it was
was this here bank holiday.

You know what happened?

They celebrated your birthday

by everybody stoppin' work
and leavin' town.

Kind of a compliment
in a way, you might say.

Good evening, ladies.

Table for 12, please.

[ French accent ] Oui, madame.
We can squeeze you in.

This way, please.

[ Normal voice ]
Table for 12... chop, chop.

Linda sue,
some sort of people here

in fancy clothes
to celebrate your birthday.

Is Mr. hnup
on the premises?

He's in the office
with Mr. quon, I believe.

Do you wish to see him?

All in good time.

[ Humming ]

Ha ha ha!

It's amazing the clutter
one accumulates over the years.

Look... miniature Jade dragon
from suzhou.

Hurry up!
I have work to do!

There's an autographed picture
of marshal wu's mother.

She liked me.

Thank you, thank you.
Ready for another little chat?

Quon: Mr. hnup
is not chatting to anyone.

He is leaving us under a cloud,

and probably for a distant part
of outer Mongolia.

[ Giggles ]

I'm terribly sorry to hear that.

We were just beginning
to get on rather well.

Oh, spurs
from my old cavalry school...

The horses wear them.

Celestial leader very angry

about "operation lotus 'x'"
bungle.

That's understandable, isn't it?

If this stupidity
should become known,

he will lose considerable face.

Therefore, I have been
instructed by Peking

that anyone
who could tell of this

must be immediately...
Eliminated.

I think that's a very se...

D-don't look at me.

I am looking at you.

Take lord southmere downstairs.

I shall deal
with this unpleasant business...

Personally.

I'm so sorry about this.

Actually... so am I.

Come along, master Edward.
Quite time you went home.

You don't look well at all.

After him, you idiots!

[ Indistinct yelling ]

Two more reports, sir.

The dinosaur seems to be heading

in the direction of soho.

Come along.

[ Yelling continues ]

[ Glass shatters ]

I ought to give my nanny a hand.

She seems to be doing
rather well on her own.

In any case, nannies don't like
to be interfered with.

How do you mean?

"Nanny knows best."
Ring a bell?

Sound thinking, old boy.

1 point to me.

Ha ha!

Ugh!

You lose 2 points.
You hit a nanny.

[ Glass shatters ]

[ Yelling continues ]

Your friend quon
seems a trifle put-out.

It's a bit of bad luck,
you know.

First day on new job,
and everything go up in smoke.

This plum wine come from chefoo.

It's an amusing little vintage,
don't you think so?

Nice, yes.

And you said the English
don't know how to have fun!

You go get him, ma'am!

I really ought to give a hand.

If you come in on your side,

I shall be compelled
to come in on mine.

Take them to cellar!
Lock them up!

I wish they'd look
where they're going.

Get up!
Get up and fight!

Cowards!

He's the leader.
That counts 5.

Oh, dear.

Aah!

Don't you dare laugh at me!

Miserable females!

Well played, nanny!
Jolly good shot!

I never knew she had it in her!

Look out! [ Coughs ]

[ Crashing ]

A touch of laryngitis.

My voice give out
at odd... moment.

[ Bells ringing ]

What are those bells?

[ Tires screech ]

Susan: It's the police!

Can't stop now!

Why not?!

I didn't like to tell you,
but our brakes have gone!

Oh, that's real nice of 'em.

Oh, happy birthday, Linda sue.

[ Wailing ]

The home secretary
on the line, sir.

Sorry to ring you at home,

but I thought
you'd like to hear the news.

You might get
a good night's sleep at last.

Yes, yes, I have recovered
the stolen object,

and we may now consider

the case of the missing
dinosaur closed.

No, no, no, don't thank me.
Just doing my duty.

Both in the same hand,
master truscott.

You put on
a jolly good show, nanny.

Almost made me sorry
I was so beastly to you.

Me too.

Well, it came out all right
in the end.

Things usually do, you know.

Ah, there you are, nanny.
Now we're all here.

Where's
that nice Mr. quon?

Resting comfortably,
perhaps for the last time.

Owing to his
incalculable stupidity,

none of us now
has lotus "x."

It is in hands of London police.

That's not entirely true.

They were kind enough
to hand it over to me...

Its rightful owner.

I will finally show you
the secret of lotus "x."

Oh!

"Take three measures
of ripe green pea pods.

"Add one cup of juice

"from medium-sized
pressed duck.

Then you..."
This must still be in code.

It read like recipe
for wonton soup.

That's what it is.

I thought you knew that.

I kept telling everybody
I'm not a spy.

I'm just
an ordinary businessman.

But none of you chaps
would listen to me.

Actually, I'm
southmere's soups and savories.

Very nutritious, too.

Oh, thank you, nanny.

What were you doing in China?

Just doing my job...

Trying to track down
new taste thrills

for the food-buying
British public.

I heard about
this fabulous new soup.

I wanted to buy it.

Then I ran into a brick wall...
Old marshal wu tsai.

It was his mother's recipe,
you see.

He would never, never allow
the secret to leave China.

Celestial mother...
She liked me.

Been a treasured family secret
for generations.

When I pinched it,

they were after me like a shot.

So there you are, then.

That's the story of how
the whole world came to know

the magic of wonton soup.

A popular success
right from the start,

thanks
to our marketing director...

A man who I had
some little trouble with,

but whom finally found
his true niche in life.

Hi, you all.

Treat yourself to the best.

Next time you're in
your neighborhood supermarket,

don't forget to ask
for your favorite and mine...

Madame wu tsai's real
chop-watering,

down-home wonton soup.

Yeah! Mmmmm.