One Shoe Makes It Murder (1982) - full transcript

A down-at-the-heels private detective is hired by a crime boss to find his missing wife. However, he soon finds out that everything isn't quite as cut and dried as he has been led to believe.

This is probably a mistake.

Lately I seem to specialize
in mistakes,

and this trip is probably
no different.

Not that I had
anything better to do.

Saturdays in L.A.
were nothing special.

Sunday through Friday
was even worse.

Maybe one drink.
Maybe two.

Maybe three and get back
on the plane to L.A.

Well, no.
I got this far.

Hey, somebody else is in there.
You mind sharing a ride?

Yeah, I mind.



Thought I'd ask.
It's their money but
you'd save a couple of bucks.

I still mind.

Where to?

Castle lodge
on the Nevada side.

I know where it is,
but it ain't open.

Gaming commission closed
it down about a week ago.

You better try
someplace else.

Everything's going
to hell. You know that.

I think I'll buy
a cabin in the mountains
and never come down.

You're a cop,
ain't you?

No, I'm not a cop.

Baloney,
you're not a cop.

Not that it makes any
difference to me, mind you.
But I can tell.

Here we go, pal.
Good-bye, California.
Hello, Nevada.



Those guys
at castle lodge--
if I were you,

I wouldn't trust
any of them.

What do you care
what I think, huh?

Not much.

Don't get snotty,
mister,

'cause I don't care
about your tip.

You see, I speak
my mind. Besides, you're a cop.

Cops are
lousy tippers.

The man said he wanted
to discuss something

of a confidential nature.

"Confidential to who?"
I asked.

"You'll be paid
for your time."

"Why me?"
I wanted to know.

"What's it got
to do with me?"

"Look, buddy, somebody wants
to do you a favor."

I couldn't even remember
the guy's name.

Hey, you're schillman,
right?

I'm smiley cappell.

I'm sorry I couldn't
get down to meet you.

Here. I'll take care
of this.

Some place, huh?

Why don't you
take a look around
if you want?

I'll take
your bag inside.

Cops are lousy tippers,

but crooks,
they do it big.

See you around,
pal.

Mr. Charnock's
tied up right now,

but I let him know
you were here.

That's alright.
I'm in no hurry,
mister...

Smiley. Everybody
calls me smiley.

What does
everybody call you?

My name is Harold.

Yeah, but I mean
what does everybody
call you--schill?

Sometimes.

Well, you came
to the right place.

Let me see if I can find
a room for you. Lord knows
we got plenty of them.

Thank you for coming,
Mr. Schillman.

Believe me,
I appreciate it.

Especially
since I couldn't
tell you then

why I wanted you
to come.

I hope it was
no inconvenience.

No. I wasn't doing
anything important.

Please.
I know exactly
what you were doing.

I know quite
a lot about you,
Mr. Schillman--

that you were a good cop
and an honest one.

I'm not a cop anymore.
I'm aware of that.

I also know the circumstances
which led you to resign

and the events
which followed.

That's a nice way
to put it.
I was fired.

Look, Mr. Charnock,
I tried to kill myself,
except I missed.

I spent three weeks healing
in San Diego general.

Then the court sent me
to the vacaville
medical facility

for 90 days'
psychiatric examination.

You mind if I
walk around a little?

Not at all.

After you
were released
from vacaville,

you moved
to Los Angeles,

where you went to work
for the credit finance
corporation,

repossessing cars by day
and drinking yourself
into a stupor at night.

You've been picked up
a number of times
for drunkenness

by the l.A.P.D.,
but never booked.

Professional courtesy.

You've done a lot of work,
but I think you wasted
your time.

Why don't you
hear the problem
before you decide?

Okay.

The Nevada state
gaming commission
claims to have evidence

that a skimming
operation

was going on
in this casino--

sufficient evidence
to close US down.

My license
has been suspended--

something
the commission does
not do lightly.

Is it true,
this skimming?

No. It wasn't
skimming.

Money was being
taken illegally,

but I knew nothing
about it.

Except they suspended
your license.

Because it's
my responsibility.

This casino runs
on my license

and my reputation.

The commission
closed US down
11 days ago.

The next day,
my wife disappeared.

That's why
I contacted you.
I want you to find her.

Do you think
she was involved?

I don't know
what to think.

I only know that she's gone,
and I don't know where.

She may be in trouble.
She may need my help.

That's my wife.

Her name
is Caroline.

Why me?

Because I think
you can find her.

A failed cop...

A failed suicide...
Even a failed drunk.

I don't buy it,
Mr. Charnock.

The police
would ask questions.

A private investigator
might get carried away.
I can't afford that.

I don't want any questions,
Mr. Shiillman.

I just want you to find my wife,
let me know where she is.

And watch her
until I get there.
I'll pay you $10,000,

and you'll forget
that it ever happened.

$10,000.

She left in her car,
headed for San Francisco.

It's a white
rolls Royce
convertible

with Nevada plates.
That shouldn't be
too difficult to trace.

I own an apartment
in San Francisco.

Caroline spent
a good deal
of time there.

I'll have
a car for you
in the morning.

How are you?

Water's warm if you
want to take a dip.

No, thanks.

I got the steam room
fired up.

Maybe you'd like
to have a nice sweat,
little rub-down massage.

You'll feel like
a million bucks.

Thanks
just the same.

If you change your mind,
pick up any of the phones
and ask for Rudy. That's me.

The girls will know
where to find me,
day or night.

24-hour service.
I'm impressed.

And they say
good help is
hard to find.

Oh, it is.
Take my word for it.

It was a joke.

I don't like jokes.

You're a friend
of Mr. Charnock's.

You get what you want
when you want it.

What do
his enemies get?

That's not real funny,
either.

Three days on the wagon
was making me irritable.

I felt like damaging
the white t-shirt,

but the L.A. flight
was already gone.

That left me
with nowhere else to go.

I guess
he just doesn't
feel sociable.

Yeah. He just doesn't
want to intrude.

There's nobody in the whole
world like Carl charnock.
Let me tell you.

When you get
to know him better,
you'll know what I mean.

I'll take your word for it.
Don't.

That's one thing I don't
kid about. Why do you think
he hired you?

'Cause he heard you were
a good guy who needed a break.

He mentioned a few
other reasons, too.

Listen...

You tried to bump
yourself off, right?

Now see, that means
something to char.

You might say, he's got
a feeling for that

because he knows
what it's all about.

His first wife ruthie...

You know how many times
she tried?

Eight.

He had her watched
around the clock.

He'd drive her
to the hospital,
get her pumped out.

He lived with that
for years.

So what
finally happened?

Ruthie...

She finally did it.

But I'll tell
you something,
he always loved her.

He never stopped.

That was 10 years ago.
See what I mean?

And, uh,
what about the second
Mrs. Charnock?

Caroline?

He married Caroline
two years ago.

Surprised the hell
out of all of US.

He never even
told me about it.

But if it makes him happy,
that's all that matters.

You don't like her.
What?

Come on.
No, no, no.

Caroline is a...

Caroline's
a high-class lady.

Her and me,
well, we just don't talk
the same language.

Could she have
anything to do
with the stealing?

Now you sound like
a cop.

You were hired
to find her, schill,
not to find out.

Remember that,
why don't you.

Oh, ho ho.
Company's here.

Hello, smiles.

Let's go.

Hey, fay.

You're looking
beautiful. Just beautiful.

This is the guy
I was telling you about.

I'd like you to meet a friend
of mine Harold schillman.
They call him schill.

This is lady fay Reid.

Hi.

Hi.

Well, do I pass,
or do I just get by?

You'll do.

Since you two
seem to be hitting it off,

I've got some business
to attend to.
See you later, fay.

I could use a drink.

What's it going
to be tonight, folks?

Rob Roy, on the rocks.
Rob Roy.

How about you,
Mr. Schillman?

Oh, hell. Let me have a beer.
Okay.

Is it always
that hard,

working your way
down to a beer?

I don't know.

I haven't
been trying it
for very long.

Does it show
that much?

I've seen worse.
You from Vegas?

Is that what
smiley told you?

Just guessing.

Bad guess.

I live in L.A.

I used to live there,
but I left right after
the big earthquake.

Were you there?

I heard about it.

Yeah, everybody
heard about it,

but I was sitting
right on top of it.
But that did it for me.

I thought the whole world
was coming to an end,
so I just left.

Good-bye and the hell
with everything.

I just got in my car
and headed north.
I was that scared.

And now?

I like it here.

No smog, no traffic,
and no earthquakes.

Come on. Let's
see if you have
any gambler's luck.

It's on the house.

My pleasure.

Thanks.

Here. Go ahead.
No, you go first.

I already know my luck.
Good or bad?

It gets by.

Go ahead the machines.
Tell all.

I hope not.

Oh.

Heh heh.
Welcome to the club.

You're sure in a hurry,
aren't you?

I like to get it
over with.

Winning is something
you do slow

so you can enjoy it,

but losing,
I do it as fast
as I can.

Is that
how it's done?

Yeah. Why?
Haven't you been
doing it right?

I guess not.
You feel better?

Much.

How about
some Blackjack?

What will we play for?

Love.

That way
everybody loses.

Let me have
your room key.

Give me a couple
of minutes.

Come on in.

The water's fine.

I finished
your drink.

Congratulations.

You know, nothing's
going to happen.

That's what
they all say.

I really mean it.

It's been a long time,
and I...

Well, I'd rather not
talk about it.

Okay.

Other than that,
it's been swell.

Can I spend the night?

I don't want
to go home.

Why?

I don't want
to be alone.

I won't bother you.

Besides,
I'm a quiet sleeper.

And I'm a nice person.

That's $1,000
in expense money.

You can count it
if you want.

I could never do it
like you do.

Mr. Charnock's
private number.

Call him collect,
anytime, day or night.

Mr. Charnock's address
in San Francisco--
the apartment.

The car's out front.
The key's are in it. Anything
else?

If there is,
you'll hear from me.

Hey.

How'd it go
last night?

Beyond your
wildest dreams,
smiley.

Beyond your
wildest dreams.

No taxi yet?

No taxi yet.

Well, I could give you
a lift.

[Fay]
How far are
you going?

[Schillman]
San Francisco.

You could drop me
in vallejo.
It's on your way.

It's just before you
get to Oakland.

What's in vallejo?

My sister.

And my kid.

How would you
get back?

Oh, somebody will
give me a lift.
That's no problem.

You married?
Not anymore.

Kids?

No.

My little boy's
10 years old.

Wesley Jordan Reid.

That's some fancy
name for a kid.

His father
was an actor.

That probably
explains it.

Sebastian Reid.
You ever hear of him?

He did a couple
of pictures and worked
in television a lot.

What does he do now?

He teaches meditation
and self-hypnosis.

Sounds phony, huh?

It's a living.

That's what you think.

He's always broke.

He hasn't paid me
a dime of alimony,

but we had fun.

That's what counts.

Yeah,
that's what counts.

Listen, if you
want me to be quiet,
just say it,

but don't cut me up,
okay?

Sorry. It just
came out that way.

You remind me
of my first
husband Joe.

I was 17 when
we got married.

How many husbands
have there been?

Just two--
Sebastian and Joe.

Joe hervey.

We're still friends.

All three of you?

Oh, go stuff it.

The traffic caught US
outside Sacramento,

and seeing as we didn't
have much to say,

fay curled up
and went to sleep.

That gave me
plenty of time to think.

Except I still didn't know
what I was getting into.

Vallejo!

Vallejo!
You're home.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

Well, uh...

Thanks for the ride.

Well...

Oh, listen.

Uh...here.

Here's the number...

In case you don't have
anything better to do.

Wesley! Hi, honey.

Hi.

Mrs. Charnock
just get in?

She's
expecting me.

In the garage?

Yeah.

She's thinking about
selling the rolls.

I'm thinking about
buying it.

You don't look like someone
that buys a car like this.

You look like a cop.

You know that's
a funny thing.

You're the second
guy in two days
who's told me that.

Then we're both right,

me and the other guy.

You take care of
Mrs. Charnock's car

while she's in town,
don't you?

It would be worth
20 bucks

to find out
what kind of shape
it's in.

Car's in good shape.

She just get in?

It ain't worth it,
buddy. You know it.

You know,
you're right.

She'll probably
tell me herself
for nothing.

Hey, that's a private
elevator, buddy.

That's okay
I don't mind.

I told myself the car could
have been in the garage

for the past 11 days, but
somehow that didn't seem right.

And if Caroline was
in the apartment,

then nothing
would make sense.

I had one more chance
to climb out of the hole

I had been in
for over a year,
maybe my last chance.

It made me nervous.

[Knock knock]

Mrs. Charnock,
my name is schillman.

Your husband
hired me yesterday.

He wanted me
to find you.

He thought maybe
you'd...

Now that you've found me,
Mr. Schillman,
why don't you come in.

Have a seat.
Thank you.

So my husband
hired you to find me.

Yes. He was worried
about you.

Hadn't heard from you.
Didn't know where you were.

Carl told you this...
Personally?

That's right.

I spoke to
my husband this morning.
He called at about 10:00.

However, he didn't mention
anything about you.

Well, he must have had
an awful lot on his mind.

Carl has known exactly
where I've been
since I left the lodge.

I speak to him every day,

usually more than
once a day,

and he didn't say
anything about hiring you.

How do you explain that,
Mr. Schillman?

Why don't we call Mr. Charnock
and let him explain it?

My husband has been
under a lot of pressure

these past days...

Terrible pressure.

I'm sure you know
all about it.

Yes. The commission
suspended his license.

Would you like to
make that call now?

Oh, Carl's reputation,
his whole life

depends on the outcome
of the commission hearings.

The anxiety is unbearable,

and when you consider
his behavior in that light...

How much is he paying you
to find me, Mr. Schillman?

A lot of money.

And you did it
so quickly.

Well, Carl is
a very generous man.

He'll pay you whatever
he agreed to,

but I'm sure you can
understand the importance

of keeping this episode
entirely confidential.

I hope you can
assure me of that.

Oh, sure.

I have no one
to talk to.

Nice place.

Yes, it is.

So why don't you
go home, Mr. Schillman,
and forget all about this?

Your check will be
in the mail within the week.

I promise you.

[Schillman]
Yes, I'm in San Francisco.
I found your wife.

Yes, I'm sure it's her.

What are you doing,
playing games with me?

She told me she talked
to you this morning,

she talks to you every day,
sometimes twice.

She said you knew
where she was all the time.

She wanted me to go home and
forget about the whole thing.

You better get down here.

You're welcome,
Mr. Charnock.

Son of a gun,
this is some mess.

So...what do
you think, Harold?

About what?

What do you
think about what?
About this.

You saw the whole
thing, right?
You're an eyewitness.

I saw her fall.

And you're
the only one, Harold.
So what do you think?

About what?

Harold, don't start
that again. I don't want to
hear that anymore.

I want to know
what you think.

You think she fall?
You think she jumped?
You think she was she pushed?

I wanna know
what you think?

I don't know,
inspector...

Carmona.
Inspector carmona.

And you remember that.

Now, Harold,
you got to think something.

Let's see.
You come here.

You talk to the guy
in the garage.

Then you come up here
and talk to the lady.

Right.

Then after you talk,
you go downstairs...

And minutes later,
you look up,

and here she comes.

What did you say
to her, Harold?

Look, inspector...

Carmona.

I know--
inspector carmona.

I can remember
your name.

You can
remember mine.

Mr. Charnock
will be here
in a little while.

I'll talk to him
before I talk to you.

No, Harold.
That's not right.

You're not a lawyer.
You're not a priest.
You're not a doctor.

You're not even
a licensed p.I.

You got no
privileged conversations.

But that's
the way it is.

Obstruction of justice.
Harold, that could
put you in the caboose.

All I'm asking for
is a little time,
inspector.

I owe Mr. Charnock
that.

Harold, you see that shoe?

That shoe gives me
a lot of trouble.
You know why?

Because she wasn't
wearing it.

If the lady had been
wearing both shoes
when she hit,

then I wouldn't have
so much trouble.

You know how many
steps it is

from that shoe
to the edge
where she went off?

Seven, and I got
small feet.

You think she
walked seven steps
with one shoe off?

I don't know.

I know you
don't know, Harold.

I am asking you
what you think.

I think I should wait
until Mr. Charnock gets here

and talk to him.

I'm going to have
your buns, Harold,

if you give me
any more problems.

You know...

I'm 34 years old...

A minority race,

and a homicide
inspector.

Now you know
all about me.

Fair enough?

Tell me about you.

Who are you, Harold?

I already told you.

Details. You didn't
give me any details.

Like,
you look at me,

you know my name
is carmona.

You think
I'm Mexican.

Wrong. I'm Cuban.

What's a Cuban doing
in San Francisco?

I didn't like Miami.

Now,
come on, Harold.

Harold schillman,
anglo-Saxon protestant.
Last employer--

credit finance company,
Los Angeles. Okay?

Distinguishing marks.

You didn't say anything
about distinguishing marks.

How'd you get that one?

From a gun, inspector.
.38 caliber. Hurt.

Inspector?

[Siren]

Mr. Charnock,
I'm inspector carmona.

Somebody here would
like to speak to you.
Just wait here.

Harold.

I'm sorry,
Mr. Charnock.
I'm very sorry.

Yes. Thank you.

This is the eyewitness,
Mr. Charnock.
Do you know him?

Yes.

He doesn't want
to talk to me
until he talks to you.

That's alright.

You hear that, Harold?

He says that's alright.

I'd like to speak
with Mr. Charnock
privately.

I'm going to give you
exactly 10 seconds,
but that's all.

What shall I tell them,
Mr. Charnock?

Do you want me to wait?
Shall I keep quiet?

Maybe you can tell me what's
going on around here?

Did she jump?

I don't know.
It looked like it.

Why?
I don't know, Mr. Charnock.

The only thing I do know is
that this is making me sweat.
And I don't like to sweat.

What shall I tell them?
The truth.

Okay.

The easy way
would have been to go along

with whatever story
the police wanted,

but $10,000 bought
a lot of loyalty.

If charnock wanted me
to tell the truth,

I'd tell the truth.
Simple.

Except I didn't know
what the truth was.

Think he'll be
alright alone?

No. I offered to
fly up with him.

Maybe sometimes
it's better to be
by yourself. Maybe.

What are you
going to do?

I'll drive
back up to Tahoe
in the morning.

They're going to
need you for the inquest.

You've got
my statement.

Maybe they want to ask
some questions.

Maybe I want to
ask some questions.

I need answers.
You're all I got.
That ain't much.

I'll tell you what
you call me in the morning.

Where're you going to be?
I dunno, I'll find a place.

Well, you call me. You call me
or I'll come find you.

And take my word for it, Harold
you wouldn't like that.

This carmona is trying to
hang a murder on me.

Have I been set upas the
biggest patsy in the world?

Fay?
Fay, this is schillman.

I thought maybe you'd like
to finish that drink.

Yeah. I remember what you said--
nothing better to do.

Neither have I.

The, uh, red rooster inn...

On mission road.

Don't worry.
I'll find it.

9:30 is good for me.

Yeah, I'm glad
I called, too.

[Soft jazz playing]

[Cash register rings]

What happened to
fighting the good fight?

Or is that just
ginger ale?

Brandy and soda.

And what are you having?

Try to remember.

Hi.
Hi.

A Rob Roy on the rocks
for the lady, and I'll have
another of these.

You're really
going to do it, huh?

It just might
be possible.

Did you have a nice day?

You didn't.

Was little Sebastian
or whatever his name is
happy to see his mother?

Wesley.

Sure. He's always
happy to see me.
We had a terrific time

how's your sister?

My sister's fine.

You're
really in trouble,
aren't you?

No. Just making
conversation.

Um...you want to
tell me what happened,

or am I supposed
to guess?

You are supposed to
sit there and be friendly
and drink your drink.

I'm friendly.

Now what?

I'm driving back up
tomorrow.

You want a ride?

Sure.
Short visit.

Long enough.

Just tell me
if you're in trouble.

No trouble.

The job I was working on
just didn't work out well.
That's all.

Oh, for Pete's sake!
It's Joe, my first husband.

Good old Joe.

Joe!

So,
how's my baby?

What are you
doing here?

I was just
passing through.

I was going to
call Gloria
tomorrow morning,

see if you were
in town.

You're looking really good,
faithy. Really good

Joe, I want you
to meet a friend of mine.

Harold schillman,
Joe hervey.

Harold.
How are you?

I don't want to
use up any more
of your time.

I'll give you a call in
the morning at Gloria's.

You are staying there.
Yeah, not too early.

Okay.

Nice meeting you.

I'm sorry.
I didn't even know
he was in town.

Where is he usually?

L.A.

Joe keeps moving.

That's nice.

You didn't like him.

Not particularly.
Who's Gloria? Your sister?

Uh-huh.

Why did you want to
see me tonight?

Well, I guess it was my turn
not to want to be alone.

You and me,
we have a history now.

Well, I like you.

Is that enough?

Where are you staying?

In a motel
down the road.

Let's go there.

Why?

We'll get a bottle.
It's cheaper.

And it's private.
Come on.

Just a little bit
of heaven.

Or somewhere.

Relax.
Make yourself
at home.

Glasses are
in the bathroom.

Motels are funny
that way.

She talks. She laughs.
She mixes drinks.

She does it all.

You look pretty pleased
with yourself.

No. But I am glad
that you're here.

And if I wasn't?

I'd feel a lot worse
than I do now.

What happened today?

Tell me.

Was it that bad?

Caroline charnock
killed herself.
I saw it happen.

Dead?

My god! Dead.

How?

She went off the terrace.
Straight down.

She killed herself.

Oh, it's been done.

But Caroline charnock?

Did you know her?

Yes, I knew her.

She sure was pretty.

Rest in peace.

I'm sorry. I didn't know
you were friends.
I wouldn't have, uh...

Not friends.
I knew her, that's all.

You're going to be
staying up in Tahoe?

No. I'll just
go and give them
their car back

and finish things up.

Then what?

I don't know.
Back to L.A., I guess.

Why?

Why not?

Is your wife in L.A.?
Uh, your ex-wife?

No.

You never see her?
I never want to.

It was bad, huh?

No, it wasn't bad.

It...really wasn't
much of anything.

Then it turned to
garbage, to filth.

Wow! I really pushed
the right button there.

No buttons.

I mean, uh,
forget it.

Okay.

Did she walk out
on you?

No. I walked in on her.

You mean
with another guy?

That's right.
Right in the middle of it.

I came home one day
while I was on duty.

I never did that before.

There they were
in my bed.

She was looking at me
over his shoulder.

She's screaming
because I had the gun out.
Pointed it right at her.

He's rolling off
onto the floor

like he's trying to hide,
so I pointed it at him.

She's still screaming.
So I pointed it back at her.

I knew I was
going to kill somebody.
I just couldn't decide who.

It turned out to be me.

You tried to
kill yourself?

The bullet bounced off.
Lousy angle.

Why didn't you
shoot them?

Why didn't
you shoot her?
Why you?

I don't know.

Doctor--
psychiatrist at vacaville--
kept asking me that.

He kept asking me
why I went home that day,

kept trying to
get me to admit

that I knew
I'd find them,

that I was trying
to catch her,

that I wanted it to, that
I wanted it to happen.

Well...maybe he was right.

But you don't feel
that way now.

You wouldn't
do it again.

Lady, I don't feel
any way now.

I wouldn't let you.

I'd never let you.

[Shower running]

Uh.

Yeah. I'd like to call
police headquarters

in San Francisco.

I don't know the number,
but they probably have
a central line.

My name is schillman,
room 36.

Thank you. I'll hold on.

I'd like to speak with detective
inspector carmona, please.

Homicide division.

Thank you.
Hi. How do you feel?

More or less alive.

Did you put me into bed?

We kind of
helped each other.
Don't you remember?

It's, uh, all pretty blank.
That happens to me.

Inspector carmona, please.
This is Harold schillman.

We made love.
Do you remember that?

That must have been
somebody else.

I remember.

Inspector.

Yes.
You asked me to call.

You want to talk
about suiciding?

Listen, I got it
all the time.

And I got no reason to think
that Caroline charnock
suicided herself,

except for you saying
that she jumped.

I didn't say she jumped.
I said I saw her fall.

Well, maybe you got
a reason for saying that...

Maybe you're involved.

If you are, Harold,
you're in big trouble.

So if you've got something else
to say, now's a good time.

Now is a perfect time.

That's all.

That's not good enough.
You gonna do better than that.

You didn't get to be
no police sergeant

by saying, "that's
what it looked like."

You had thoughts then.
I want you to have thoughts now.

You run a check on me?
You bet I did .

They say you were
a pretty good cop...

Till you got in
over your head
and started slacking off.

Letting your friends down.
And ended out on your own.

What else did they say?

That ain't enough?

You got drunk...

And you've been
falling around
ever since.

They say that
you're all messed up now.

Ever since you tried to
blow your brains out.

Why'd you do that?
Well, you had to be there.

Are they right
about you, Harold?

They're always right.

Maybe you ought to
try and change things.

Why don't you start right
now and stop horsing
me about that suicide story.

That's what
it looked like.

I don't want you
saying that anymore,

because it's
making me think

that maybe somebody's
paying you

to be that kind
of witness,

and that could mean
real trouble,
serious trouble.

I was paid to find her,
that's all.

Easy money, huh?

Maybe you got suicide
on the brain, Harold.

Maybe that's it.

Would you like me to
change my story, inspector?

I want you to start
thinking like a cop again.

Want you to use your head.
One shoe on the edge
of the terrace--

think what does
that shoe say to you?

Not one little thing.

If she got dragged and pushed,
one shoe comes off easy.

And what do you do with
that shoe afterwards
when you see it?

You leave it right there.
Isn't that what you would do?

Because it would
look pretty funny

if that shoe came after
her 10 seconds later.
Now what do you say?

I don't know.
Then I'm going to tell you.

Two shoes
and a depressed lady
makes it suicide.

One shoe and
a not-depressed lady
makes it murder.

That's how it's going
into the books, Harold--
murder one--

until somebody proves
to me different.

You got proof?

Only what I saw.

Not good enough.

I'll tell you
something else.

I don't think I like you
anymore, Harold.

You're no accident,
not like some tourist
walking down the street.

You're in there, you're
in there right up to your buns.

And I might even have
to get you, Harold.

Carmona was pushing me,
and I was resisting,

just the way I resisted
in the hospital.

It wasn't that I was
withholding information,

but that I didn't have any.

That's what
was troubling carmona.

Now it was troubling me.

"Think like a cop,"
he said.

I haven't done that
for a long time.

I'm not sure I can.

Still interested
in buying it?

Price ought to be
about right.

I'll take that answer now.

What time did
Mrs. Charnock get in?

Yesterday it was
worth 20 bucks.

Yesterday I was generous.
Today I'm in a hurry.

That's your problem.
I got all day.

You got 10 seconds.
I'm not going to ask again.

Tough.

Ah!

Ah!

You're crazy!

Last chance.

Morning.
10:00.

Yesterday?

Yeah. Now let me go.

When was the last time
you saw her before that?

About a month ago.
Was she alone?

Yeah. Now let me go!
You're breaking my neck!

He'll be right with you.

Where the hell have you been?
Why?

Haven't you heard?
They're saying now that
Caroline was murdered.

Lousy reporters here
all afternoon.

How's charnock?

Not good.
He's keeping it
all bottled up inside.

It could tear him apart,
schill. Wide apart.

Better let him know
you're here.

Honey, could you
get me charnock,
please?

Got couple of
messages for you.

Uh, char, I hate
to disturb you,

but I thought you should know
that schillman just got here.

Okay.

He wants to see you. Now.
I'll take you over there.

Where?
The schvitz.

Tell you gotta
little something going
with fay, huh?

You think of everything.
I do my best.

Take your choice.

You're an unpleasant jerk.
Anybody ever tell you that?

All the time.

Yesterday
when you said that
Caroline had jumped,

I couldn't
believe it.

Not Caroline.

I know about suicide.

You asked me once
if I thought Caroline

was connected with
the problems here.

I said I didn't know.
But in my heart,
I suppose I did know.

I just didn't want it
to be true.

So her death,
Mr. Schillman...

Her death is
still involved.

I want the answers.

Where did she go
when she left here?

Why did she run away?

I want to know
who killed her.

Rest for a while.

He wanted to know
who killed her.

Suddenly, I was no longer
just working for Carl charnock.

Now I wanted to know
who killed Caroline.

And I didn't even know
who the hell she really was.

Her name was
Caroline Selby
when we met.

That was about
2 1/2 years ago.

And after that?

Caroline told me
certain things--

that she had no family,

that she lived in New York
before moving to L.A.,

that she'd been
a photographer's model.

But I never pressed her.

I didn't want to know
the personal details.

Married before?

No, but she was
an experienced woman.

However...

The life we began together
was a new life.

What came before that
didn't matter.

It does now.

Yes, now it does.

I won't need
to know everything,
Mr. Schillman,

only those things--
I understand.

What about
just before she left?

Was there
anything different,
anything unusual?

No.

She knew what
was going on.

Mr. Schillman,
everybody knew.

When was the last time
she had her car serviced?

Just before
she left. Why?

Well, the mileage
should be
on the invoice.

I could check that
against the mileage
on it now,

find out
how far she went.

Yes, I see.

$10,000, as we agreed.

The check is certified.

You were hired to find her,
and you found her.

What you do now
calls for a new arrangement.

I think this
covers it all.

It doesn't,
but an additional
15,000 will.

I've always
found it better
to pay my debts.

Owing is far more costly.

I called fay from up in Tahoe

and said I'd drive down
in the morning.

She said,
"come on down tonight."

What the hell.
I had no place else to go.

[Loud music playing]

Hi. Come on in.

I'm Gloria.
Fay's...Little sister.

You are schill,
aren't you?

Yeah. I'm schill.
Then come on in.

Hey, schill.
Nice to see you.

Hi.

Listen, faithy went to the can.
She'll be out in a minute.

I'll fix you a drink?
No, thanks.

You just drive down?
You made pretty good time.

How are things
up at the lake?

Quiet.

Come on.
Have a little drink.

We're just
sitting around,
talking about old times.

Faithy went out and bought
a bottle of Brandy

just for you.

Well,
in that case...

So what's going on
in Tahoe?

I didn't see
much of anything.

Hi. I missed you.

I bet.

Faithy was really worried
about you.

[Fay]
Gloria.

Well, you were, honey. That's
all you talked about all day.

You've got
a big mouth.

Look...can we
get out of here?

Sure.

What is it?

Honey...tell me.

Nothing.

You've got
too much on your mind,

that's what it is.

Yeah, probably.

And you're tired.

You're thinking
about her?

About who?

Caroline.

I am now.

It's really hard
to believe that she's dead.

You know, you said
she killed herself,

but on the news,
they say it was murder.

Maybe it was.

But you're the one
who saw it happen.

Yes, I seem
to be the one.

How well
did you know her?

Mmm...just...
You know, not really.

She never was very friendly,
even when I first
knew her in L.A.

What was she
doing then?

I don't know.
She was just around.

We used to know
lots of people then.

You and who?

Joe.

I was 17
when we got married.

Just a dumb kid.

Can you imagine? 17?

Did Joe know her, too?

I don't know. Probably.
It was a long time ago.

I never saw her again
until after she married
Mr. Charnock up in Tahoe.

All those strings.

What strings?

Tying everybody
together.

I don't get it.
Even you.

You're still
working for him?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm still
working for him.

Why don't you
turn out the light?

Little fay's just bushed.

Little fay and Caroline
in L.A.--

another coincidence.

The answer had to be
with Caroline.

Carmona's probably right.

Two shoes--suicide.
One shoe--murder.

Wow. Some people
really know how to live.

Oh, I didn't mean it
like that.

[Schillman]
Mean what?

Well, Caroline
being dead and...

It just sounded bad.

Oh, forget about it.

What are you doing,
honey?

Just looking.

Did you
find something?

Let's go find out.

Go on.
Take a look around.

You sure nobody's here?

[Loudly]
Anybody here?

See?

It's spooky here.

That's where
she went off.

I don't want to see it.

Now what
are you doing?

Caroline's car
had, um...

7,461 miles on it
when she left Tahoe.

It now has 8,544 miles,

which means she drove...
1,183 miles.

Correct?
If you say so.

Divide that in half,
you come up with 591.5.

What's about 500 miles
from San Francisco?

L.A.?

Where Caroline
used to live.

It's about 500 miles
to Las Vegas, too.

Why would she go
to Las Vegas?

Why would she go to L.A.?

I don't know.

You want to be
a secretary?

Sure.

Call this number--

canyon rolls Royce
in Beverly Hills.

Ask for the service manager.

Tell him you're calling
for Mr. Schillman
of hartman insurance.

Ask him
if he recalls servicing

Mrs. Caroline charnock's
white rolls Royce convertible

with Nevada license plates
within the last two weeks.

What's
hartman insurance?

If he says yes,
call me.

Where are you going?

I'm just going
to look around.

Mr. Schillman?

Mr. Howard
is on the line.

I'll take it in here.

Mr. Howard.
Harold schillman.

I'm glad we finally
located you.

Yes. Mrs. Caroline charnock's
rolls Royce--

do you happen to have
the invoice handy?

I'll hold on.

Every little girl's
dream.

Right out
of a magazine.

Not your style, huh?

Do I look the type?

Neither did Caroline.

Yes, Mr. Howard.
I'm right here.

Was it the air conditioner pump
that you replaced?

The car only had
8,000 miles on it.

Yes. I see.
I understand.

I just wanted to be sure.

Oh, one more thing
Mr. Howard--

what address did Mrs. Charnock
give you in Los Angeles?

What hotel?

Uh-huh.
Okay. Thank you.

No. No problems.
You've been very helpful.

Thank you, Mr. Howard.

Now I suppose you think
you're terrific.

Well, you must admit
I'm getting better.

Oh! Uhh! Ha ha!

The door was open.

I closed it,
inspector.

Well, it wasn't locked,
Harold.

Wait for me
in the other room,
will you, honey?

Who is that?
What is it, Harold--

you want to make it in a dead
woman's bed? What is that?
Some special kinda kick?

We all have our little
idiosyncrasies, inspector.

Yesterday
you come here

and you kick the beans
out of the garage
attendant.

Today you mess around
with the lady's car.

Then you and your friend
come up here.

Just what are you up to?

I came up here
to make a phone call.

Is that why Mr. Charnock
gave you the keys--

so you could use
the phone?

It's not against the law.

That's very funny.
Harold, you should tell me
what you're doing.

Because it won't be so very good
if I have to guess.

I'm working
for Mr. Charnock, inspector.

Still or again?

Just doing a few
odds and ends.

Are you lying
to me, Harold?

Ask him.
I'm asking you!

Withholding evidence
from the police

is worth five years,
Harold, remember?

That's not like some crummy
section 502 drunk charge

that they don't even process
because they all feel
sorry for you.

Now, we've still got
a murder to solve, Harold.

Remember?

You ever
think of going back
to Havana, inspector?

Tsk. All the time, Harold,
all the time.

Wow! The way
he walked in like that.

I didn't know
who the hell he was,

and there we were
on the bed.

Didn't you think
that was funny?

Yeah, it was funny.

Except you're
not laughing.

Now what do we do?

First I drive you
back to Gloria's.

I'm flying down
to L.A.

For how long?
I'll be back tomorrow.

Well, then,
let me come with you.

That way I can be sure
you come back.

When I hold on,
I hold on tight.

My car was
in the parking lot at l.A.X.

The battery was dead.

It took an hour
for the tow truck to arrive

and another hour to fight
traffic to the adriatic hotel.

It didn't matter anymore
why charnock had hired me.

Now I wanted
to do the job.

It was more than just having
something to do.

It was making me feel
alive again.

You won't forget
about me, will you?

The manager around?

Police?

My name's schillman.

I'm Mr. Krueger.
You're the manager?

Assistant manager
in charge of security.

Just the man I want to see.
Regarding?

A few questions
about Mrs. Caroline charnock--

she left here
a few days ago.

Yes. I'm familiar
with the situation.

The hotel would
of course appreciate

as much discretion
as possible.

There's been
no publicity so far.

Why start now?

You wouldn't mind if I
looked around her room?
Would you?

I'm afraid that suite
is occupied.

What about a copy
of her bill?

Phone calls,
messages, visitors,
anything else you've got.

I'll get the file.

It's all there.

I hope so.
Hate to make two trips.

What about the phone calls?
There's a list.

There's no way of tracing
the local numbers she dialed
herself.

Just the toll calls
and the one long-distance.

Those were all made
on the day she arrived.

Long-distance to where?
Nevada.

I believe you'll find that
to the number of castle lodge.

Visitors?

No.

However, she did
receive a letter

which was forwarded
to the San Francisco
address.

I knew
you'd tell me something.

Hello, Marilyn.
It's me--schillman.

Yes, I know
I was fired.

Well, tell him I quit,

but, uh, do me a favor
anyway, will you,

just for the fun of it?

555-5185--

run a tracer on it,
and I'll call you back.

Oh, come on.
Sure you can do it...

If you really want to.

Okay.

Uh, that was Sebastian.

Just passing through
in the parking lot?

You were in there long,
and I had to talk to him.

You seem to have ex-husbands
everywhere we go.

Sebastian. He doesn't give
a damn about the kid.

All he cares about
is himself.

He knows I need the
money. Or I'd never ask.

You told me
he's always broke.

Not that broke.

He just bought himself
a new car.

That's what made me
so angry.

He said if I really
needed money,

I could make it
easier than he could.

How much do you need?

You don't like it
when I talk
about that, do you?

I'll give you some money.

If you don't want me to,
I won't do it anymore.

What do you want?

What do you think?

Then don't worry
about the money.

I won't.

[Thunder]

This is how you live?

It's where I live.

Make yourself at home.

Marilyn,
this is schillman again.

Did you get it?

You say it's a pay phone
in the valley?

Well,
that's a dead end.

Ew!

Thanks, anyway.

[Hangs up telephone]

Good lord.

There. You feel better?

Listen,
I'm one swell housewife,

so don't mess around.

How can you drink it
like that?

You get used to it.

Getting used to something
doesn't make it good.

It's terrible.

You know,
when I was a kid,
I used to love beer.

Joe used to say I was
a cheap date, and I really
looked young then.

So when we went out,
I could never get served.

For somebody
who doesn't like it,
you do pretty good.

The story of my life.

Pour.

You want to fly
back to San Francisco
with a hangover?

That's tomorrow morning,

and who cares
about tomorrow morning?

Listen, Mr. Schillman,

I'm going
to tell you something.

You go right ahead.

I changed my mind.

Good. So do I.

You're easy
to get along with.

That's what
they tell me.

Well, I'm easy
to get along with, too.

Don't you think so?

Good old easy-to-
get-along-with fay.

And good old easy-to-
get-along-with schill,

except...you get mean
sometimes.

I never do.

Except I hate your ex-wife.
So do I.

And you hate
Sebastian and Joe.

I do?

You ought to,
especially Joe.

I was 17
when we got married.

When I was 18,
he turned me out.

You know what I mean?

The first time
for money.

Good old easy fay.

Good old dumb fay.

Huh. Just a cute little
kewpie doll

who believed anything.

I really thought
I was living the life,

going to parties,
meeting all sorts of people,

like miss Caroline Selby.

Huh. But I was
just another loser,

just another dumb broad,

living easy and thinking

just because Joe bought me
a Mercedes convertible

that the party and the people
were going to--

were never going to end.

I'll tell you something
about that car.

After I left Joe
and moved in with Sebastian,

Joe came over one night

and poured sugar
in the gas tank.

How about that?

The one
really nice thing I had,

and he had to ruin it.

[Sigh]

As if Sebastian
was any better.

That earthquake
is the best thing
that ever happened to me.

Got me the hell
out of here,

and for a while,

I thought it was going to
change everything,

and maybe it would have.

Then I ran into--

then I met
somebody in Tahoe.

Do you hate me?

I couldn't live
if you hated me.

I swear I'll never
do it again.

Never.

Don't hate me.

The letter
was waiting there

in Caroline's
polished brass mailbox

forwarded
from the hotel in L.A.

No one
had bothered to look.

Dead people don't get mail.

You must really
like it here.

It's the only place
I know.

You were so bombed,
I'm surprised you remember.

Late night.

I felt it all
coming together now--

all the pieces
sliding into place...

Or almost all.

I wondered what fay's story
would be this time.

You lied to me,
didn't you?

About what?

About, uh,
making love.

Yes.

Why?

Because I guess
I wanted it to be true.

It doesn't matter, schill.

I've had enough sex to last me
the rest of my life.
I don't care about it.

Okay.

That's the only lie.

Okay. Forget it.

Look what
I found today.

What is it?

Look.

Oh, my god.

Recognize anybody?

Caroline.

So she made
a stag film.

You didn't
know about it?

No. I swear I didn't.

I wish I did.

She used to act
like the fanciest
$500 trick in town,

and the rest of US,
well, we weren't
in her class.

So she was hooking, huh?
You bet she was.

Joe was setting
up dates for her
until I found out.

Oh, ho. I blew my cork
over that one.

Joe backed off.
Caroline just disappeared.

I didn't see her again
until Tahoe

after she married
Carl charnock.

You'd think she'd be
a little nervous
running into me.

Not Caroline.

All she said was,
"how nice
to see you again."

Did you tell Joe
about that?

Yeah,

but that was
a couple months later.

He wasn't
very interested.

Maybe he already knew.

It was right after Caroline
disappeared in L.A.

That Joe went to jail,
isn't it?

How did you know
about that?

I ran a check on him.

He did two years
in chino.

And it was
all his own fault, too.

Getting involved
with those crooks--
I told him he was crazy.

But he said it was going
to be easy money.

Those guys stole everything in
sight.
And Joe got caught.

So, what did you do
while he was away?

That's when I met
Sebastian Reid.

Then after Joe got out,
it was all over between US.

What are you doing,
schill?

My job.

Mr. Charnock is expecting me
up there tomorrow,

and he wants me to tell him
who killed Caroline.

Do you know?

Who?

You think it was Joe,

and that's why
you're asking me.

Where is he, fay?

You know what
you're asking me to do?

You don't have to
tell me.

But if I don't?

Okay.

Going somewhere, Joe?

What are you
doing here?

I work for Mr. Charnock.
Didn't fay tell you?

I don't know.
I don't remember.

She just called you,
didn't she?

What are you talking about?
Nobody called me.

Joe, look,
I used to be a cop.

18 years in San Diego.

I got into some
rough action down there,
but I never lost.

I haven't met the punk
who could take me yet.

Oh. Congratulations.

Joe, I can beat you.
I can hurt you.

Hey, I'm a lover,
not a fighter.

You're a pimp.
You turned fay
into a whore.

Okay, I'm sorry.
What do you
want me to do?

I want the rest
of the film.

What film?

You're making me
very angry, Joe.

I'm going to take it
all out on you.

Now give me
the film.

Look, what the hell.
It's in the trunk.

How much did you get,
Joe?

How much do you want?

Look, i--i was just
trying to scare her.

You did a hell of a job.

Aah!

What do you think
you're doing?

Shut up!

[Sirens and radios]

Seems like
you make trouble
everywhere you go, Harold.

Don't talk like that,
inspector.
I'm doing a good job.

What did you burn?
A roll of film.

A hotel employee tried to stop
him and an another witness says

the guy that got killed
tried to run away from him.

You make it
really tough, Harold.

I can explain everything.

I bet you can.
Well?

Go ahead.

Once upon a time...

Book him!

Wait a minute.
Bring him back here.

You make me lose
my temper, Harold.

I'm sorry.

Last chance,
so do it right.

The dead man is Joe hervey,
a pimp from L.A.

He's got a record.

Years ago, he had a high-class
hooker named Caroline Selby.

She quit the business
and showed up in Tahoe,

respectable as hell.

Six months later,
she married Carl charnock.

He knew absolutely nothing
about her past.

You making this up,
or is this real, Harold?

After the wedding,
she ran into somebody

who knew her
from the old days.

She couldn't wait
to tell Joe the news.

Joe saw the gold
and went for it.

Caroline was afraid
to tell her husband,

so she paid Joe
to keep his mouth shut.

She kept on paying
until finally it got too
hot and she panicked.

Slow down.
Slow down.

Caroline drove down
to L.A.

To tell Joe hervey
the good times were all over,

but Joe didn't
let go so easily.

When she came back here,
he followed her and put
pressure.

That's when I showed up.

Caroline told me the easiest
lie that came to her mind

with, probably, good old Joe
hiding in the bedroom.

After I left,

Joe tried to frighten her
by dragging her to the terrace,

except she went over.

All of a sudden,
you remember
all of this.

Explain yourself.

Well, I figured it out.

"Start thinking like a cop."
That's what you said.

Full of holes, Harold.
Full of holes.

Joe hervey
is a piece of meat.

You burned
the blackmail evidence.

You got no proof,
Harold.

A cop needs proof.

So I'm a little rusty.

Harold, what am I
going to do with you?

Inspector, you wanted me
to book him?

I rehearsed my speech
all the way up to Tahoe,

trying to make it sound
better than it was.

There was no way
to make it sweet.

You're not going to like
what I have to say.

I don't expect to.

Your wife was a hooker
in L.A.

Hey, schill,
you don't--

she made a stag film.

Joe hervey had it
and he was blackmailing her.

I burnt the film,
all except this.

There. No more film.
No more Joe hervey.
That's it, huh?

I got more.
Do you want to hear it?

Let it alone, char.
Don't torture yourself.
I'll handle the rest.

Not this time, smiley.

Why don't you
lay off, pal.
Enough is enough.

Take your money
and go home.

Buy yourself
a bathtub
full of booze.

It's up to you.

I'm listening.

When your wife
drove down to L.A.,
one of the first things

she did was call back up here.
That's number one.

Number two--Joe hervey
was hitting her hard
for a lot of money.

She had to
get it somewhere.

Three--fay Reid
is Joe hervey's ex-wife.

She knew Caroline
in the old days,

but when she mentioned
seeing Caroline up here,

Joe already knew it.

Alright.
That's one, two, three.
Go ahead. Add them up.

I'm trying.

If fay wasn't the only one
who knew Caroline,

then it figures
whoever she called

must have been
Joe hervey's pal,

someone who could
help her get the money--

pay him off
a lot of money.

Now, where would you
get a lot of money
around here?

The casino cashier.

Tough place to get into,
but not for you.

I have the keys.

I suppose Caroline could borrow
them long enough to make copies.

I suppose so.

Come on. If Caroline went
anywhere near that cashier,

everybody up here
would have heard about it.

But what if Caroline gave
the keys to her old friend

to help her
get the money,

and the old friend decided
to keep the keys
and help himself,

knowing that Caroline
couldn't do anything
about it?

Ah, that's a mighty big
what-if.

I've got another one.

What if Caroline thought
the only way
to stop her old friend

was to tip off
the gaming commission

that the casino
was being skimmed?

Who is it?

I'm just guessing.

Maybe smiley
can help US.

Why me?

Well, you never did
like Caroline.

You made it very easy for me
to find out about her past.

All you had to do
was introduce me to fay.

You know something,
schill?

You took
all the wrong steps,

but you got there.

I didn't know anything
about Caroline's past.

I mean, sure,
we didn't get along together,

but I wasn't looking
for anything like that.

It was something else.

See, uh...

I figured out that she was
f-fooling around up here

right under your nose.

I didn't know
how to tell you.

How do you tell somebody
something like that?

I figured that, uh,
you'd, uh, you'd get mad at me

or that
you wouldn't believe me,

and, uh...
I would have to leave.

I got nowhere else to go,

so I didn't say it.

I couldn't
say the words, char.

I didn't do anything.

And then when
it got worse,

uh, there was
nothing else I could do.

Hey. Howdy.

You scum.

What did I do now?

I checked with the girl
on the phones.

She remembered.

You got a long-distance call
the day after
the casino shut down.

So what?

It was my wife
who called you.

Why would she call me?

Let me get a couple
of boys to soften him.

Forget it.
You waited too long, Rudy.

You had a chance to run.
You should have taken it.

You got nothing.

You were sleeping
with my wife.

You were
blackmailing her.

You can't prove it.
Oh, yes, we can.

You're so dumb,
I bet you've still got the keys.

What keys?

Why don't we take a look
through his room?

Put the gun down,
Rudy.

How far do you think
you could get?

Far enough.

You're not
going anywhere.

No!

There wasn't anything
I could do,

not for the living
and certainly not for the dead.

Joe hervey and smiley,
both of them had

a run at death,
but not Caroline.

There was so little cause
for her to die.

There's a job
here for you
if you want it.

No. It just
wouldn't feel right.

I understand,

but if ever
you do want it...

$15,000.

What are you
going to do?

Go home.

I'll have
someone drive you
to the airport.

No. I'll just
call a cab.

Smiley...jumped
in front of me,

didn't he?

Yeah.

Maybe that was
his atonement.

Atonement?

For not telling you,
for not saying anything.

Maybe it was an accident.

Smiley was with me
for 30 years.

That's a long time.

You could
give me a lift.

If you want to say no,
then just say it.
It won't kill me.

You called him,
didn't you, fay?

You called Joe up
and told him I was coming

so he wouldn't
be there.

Yeah. I had to.

I knew him so long.
I couldn't just...

No, I guess
you couldn't.

I'm, uh,
leaving this place,

moving back to vallejo,
raise my kid.

I'm trying real hard
to make you like me.

I like you, fay.

Yeah.

Well, maybe if
one of these days...

Maybe you'll call.

You have the number.

[Horn honks]

I had a feeling
it might be you.

I heard there was
a lot of excitement
up here before--

shooting and everything.

And you tried to tell me
you weren't a cop.

Baloney, pal.

I know a cop
when I see one.