One Good Turn (1931) - full transcript
Stan and Ollie are down on their luck and beg at an old lady's house for food. While they are eating they overhear a villainous landlord (Finlayson) threatening to evict her if she does not pay the mortgage. Not realizing that they are hearing a rehearsal for a play, the boys decide to auction their car to help. In the confusion surrounding the auction, Stan finds himself in possession of a fat wallet and Ollie accuses him of stealing the old lady's money. When the truth is revealed, Stan exacts painful retribution.
Hey!
- What are you doing back there?
- l was tasting the soup.
Well, stay away from that soup.
Do something to help me.
Hang these clean clothes on the line.
And keep that fire going.
- You haven't got another cup, have you?
- What for?
The tent's on fire.
Well, our earthly possessions
are slowly getting less and less.
No place to sleep and no food.
What could be worse?
Come on.
- Where we going?
- Do l have to tell you everything?
- Not everything.
- lf you must know,
we are going to humiliate ourselves
by begging for food.
What, again?
Crank the car.
Oh, l feel so silly,
l'll never be able to act. l can't.
You were wonderful.
l know but l never could do it
before an audience.
Oh, you could!
Play it the way you did just now and you'll be
the hit of the community play this year.
Now, the scene opens in the country.
The old lady is seated in the chair
and in comes the villain with the mortgage.
How about trying here for some food?
That's not a bad idea.
l'll see if there's any dogs.
Shh!
lt's OK, there's no dogs.
Come on.
My, what happened?
Er, pardon the intrusion, lady,
but my friend and l
are victims of the Depression.
We haven't tasted food for three whole days.
Fancy not eating for three whole days.
Yes, ma'am.
Yesterday, today and tomorrow.
We were wondering
if you would be kind enough
to provide us with a piece of buttered toast.
Oh, why, certainly.
Would you mind throwing
a piece of ham over that?
Don't you worry.
l'll fix you something very nice.
A thousand thanks.
ls there some little thing we could do
to repay you for your kindness?
We're willing to work, you know.
No, l think not.
How about you chopping some wood?
That would be splendid.
Splendid it shall be.
That's fine. l'll call you when it's ready.
Why did you have to suggest cutting wood?
l didn't suggest it. You said to the lady...
Oh, shut up. You make me sick.
Well, you suggested it, now you cut it.
l don't know anything about cutting wood.
Well, you ought to. You once told me
your father was in the lumber business.
l know he was
but it was only on a small way.
What do you mean, ''small way''?
Well, he used to sell toothpicks.
Well, go ahead and make some toothpicks.
Be a chip off of the old block.
Why don't you be careful?
That thing might have hit me.
That's the finish. l...
Your meal's all ready, boys.
Come right along.
There you are.
Make yourselves right at home.
- Gee, this is nice of you.
- Don't mention it. lt's all right.
- Have a good time.
- Thank you.
Pour the coffee.
What?
James Finlayson, you here again?
At your service.
- What do you want?
- Don't let us bandy words.
l am here to foreclose the mortgage
on your home and turn you into the street.
So, James Finlayson, you thought
to catch me unprepared and at your mercy.
But this time, you are foiled.
l am ready for this emergency.
l am going to pay you.
Then you can go.
Go and never darken my door again.
l've been robbed!
Robbed! Oh!
At last, Christine De Manville,
l have you in my clutches!
Spare me. Spare me.
lt's only a hundred dollars.
Give me just a little more time.
Not one... Oh...
Not one more minute. And, if you're not
out of this house by three o'clock,
l'll have my minions throw you out.
- Bag and baggage!
- My hour has come.
What will l do?
- We've gotta help that old lady.
- l wish we could.
One good turn deserves another.
- So do l, neither.
- What do you mean, ''So do l, neither''?
They're going to throw her into the streets.
- What can we do?
- We have got to raise a hundred dollars.
- A hundred dollars?
- Yes.
We couldn't even raise a thousand.
We haven't got a dime...
- What are we going to do?
- l have it.
- What?
- An idea to raise the money.
- Let's go tell her.
- No, no, no.
- One good turn...
- No, no, no.
We'll sneak out and not tell anyone.
We'll surprise her.
Now, don't you tell anyone
where we're going to get the money.
Now, my friends, if you'll just step over
this way a moment. Right this way, please.
Now, friends, listen.
l am here on an errand of mercy.
My mission here is to raise
one hundred dollars
to save a poor, grey-haired old lady
from being thrown into the streets.
My friend and l are willing to sacrifice our all
by offering this car to the highest bidder.
Just what
are you two fellas trying to do?
We're trying to sell this car
to raise one hundred dollars
to keep a poor old lady
from being thrown into the streets.
Anybody would help a poor old lady.
l'll give you a hundred dollars.
That's the spirit, folks.
l'm bid one hundred dollars.
Have you got the time?
One hundred dollars once!
- One hundred dollars twice!
- Eh?
The third and last call...
One twenty-five.
Sold for 125 dollars
and l thank you for your kind attention.
Who said 125?
l did. l was telling him the time.
What's that?
Where d'you get it?
Now l see it all.
- What?
- ''What''!
Don't try to alibi.
You stole this money from the old lady.
- Guilt is written all over you.
- What?
You'll give this money back
and make a confession.
- A confession of what?
- To think, for all these years,
l've been fostering a common thief.
A viper in my bosom.
- Whose bos... What are you saying?
- Don't bluff me.
To think you would bite the hand
that was feeding you.
- l didn't...
- You snake in the grass.
You traitor. You sheep in wolf's clothing.
You double-crosser.
You Judas!
- You, you...
- Stop!
Don't call me a ''you, you''.
Missed me, didn't you?
No, you don't.
Get in that car, go back and tell the truth,
the whole truth and nothing but...
Get right in this car.
Get in! Go on in there.
Tell her everything. Go on.
- What on earth's the matter?
- Madam, my one-time friend, Mr Laurel,
has a confession to make.
- l didn't do a thing...
- Confession?
Yes. He's the one who stole your money
and left you at the mercy of that villain.
Why, there must be some mistake.
There's no mistake. lt's all too true.
Why, l caught him red-handed.
There hasn't been any money stolen.
We were just rehearsing a play
for the community players.
l must have made a faux pas.
Please, please, don't! Please, don't, no.
Wait, let me tell you something. l've... Oh!
- Come out of there.
- No, l won't.
- Come out of there.
- You'd better leave me alone.
- Come out of there, you big bozo.
- l won't do it. No.
- l'll make you come out.
- Oh!
Please don't! Ah!
Hey! Oh, hey, wait!
- Get back inside.
- Ah!
Let me get...
l'll show you.
Now wait a minute, now. Oh.
You missed me, didn't you?
- What are you doing back there?
- l was tasting the soup.
Well, stay away from that soup.
Do something to help me.
Hang these clean clothes on the line.
And keep that fire going.
- You haven't got another cup, have you?
- What for?
The tent's on fire.
Well, our earthly possessions
are slowly getting less and less.
No place to sleep and no food.
What could be worse?
Come on.
- Where we going?
- Do l have to tell you everything?
- Not everything.
- lf you must know,
we are going to humiliate ourselves
by begging for food.
What, again?
Crank the car.
Oh, l feel so silly,
l'll never be able to act. l can't.
You were wonderful.
l know but l never could do it
before an audience.
Oh, you could!
Play it the way you did just now and you'll be
the hit of the community play this year.
Now, the scene opens in the country.
The old lady is seated in the chair
and in comes the villain with the mortgage.
How about trying here for some food?
That's not a bad idea.
l'll see if there's any dogs.
Shh!
lt's OK, there's no dogs.
Come on.
My, what happened?
Er, pardon the intrusion, lady,
but my friend and l
are victims of the Depression.
We haven't tasted food for three whole days.
Fancy not eating for three whole days.
Yes, ma'am.
Yesterday, today and tomorrow.
We were wondering
if you would be kind enough
to provide us with a piece of buttered toast.
Oh, why, certainly.
Would you mind throwing
a piece of ham over that?
Don't you worry.
l'll fix you something very nice.
A thousand thanks.
ls there some little thing we could do
to repay you for your kindness?
We're willing to work, you know.
No, l think not.
How about you chopping some wood?
That would be splendid.
Splendid it shall be.
That's fine. l'll call you when it's ready.
Why did you have to suggest cutting wood?
l didn't suggest it. You said to the lady...
Oh, shut up. You make me sick.
Well, you suggested it, now you cut it.
l don't know anything about cutting wood.
Well, you ought to. You once told me
your father was in the lumber business.
l know he was
but it was only on a small way.
What do you mean, ''small way''?
Well, he used to sell toothpicks.
Well, go ahead and make some toothpicks.
Be a chip off of the old block.
Why don't you be careful?
That thing might have hit me.
That's the finish. l...
Your meal's all ready, boys.
Come right along.
There you are.
Make yourselves right at home.
- Gee, this is nice of you.
- Don't mention it. lt's all right.
- Have a good time.
- Thank you.
Pour the coffee.
What?
James Finlayson, you here again?
At your service.
- What do you want?
- Don't let us bandy words.
l am here to foreclose the mortgage
on your home and turn you into the street.
So, James Finlayson, you thought
to catch me unprepared and at your mercy.
But this time, you are foiled.
l am ready for this emergency.
l am going to pay you.
Then you can go.
Go and never darken my door again.
l've been robbed!
Robbed! Oh!
At last, Christine De Manville,
l have you in my clutches!
Spare me. Spare me.
lt's only a hundred dollars.
Give me just a little more time.
Not one... Oh...
Not one more minute. And, if you're not
out of this house by three o'clock,
l'll have my minions throw you out.
- Bag and baggage!
- My hour has come.
What will l do?
- We've gotta help that old lady.
- l wish we could.
One good turn deserves another.
- So do l, neither.
- What do you mean, ''So do l, neither''?
They're going to throw her into the streets.
- What can we do?
- We have got to raise a hundred dollars.
- A hundred dollars?
- Yes.
We couldn't even raise a thousand.
We haven't got a dime...
- What are we going to do?
- l have it.
- What?
- An idea to raise the money.
- Let's go tell her.
- No, no, no.
- One good turn...
- No, no, no.
We'll sneak out and not tell anyone.
We'll surprise her.
Now, don't you tell anyone
where we're going to get the money.
Now, my friends, if you'll just step over
this way a moment. Right this way, please.
Now, friends, listen.
l am here on an errand of mercy.
My mission here is to raise
one hundred dollars
to save a poor, grey-haired old lady
from being thrown into the streets.
My friend and l are willing to sacrifice our all
by offering this car to the highest bidder.
Just what
are you two fellas trying to do?
We're trying to sell this car
to raise one hundred dollars
to keep a poor old lady
from being thrown into the streets.
Anybody would help a poor old lady.
l'll give you a hundred dollars.
That's the spirit, folks.
l'm bid one hundred dollars.
Have you got the time?
One hundred dollars once!
- One hundred dollars twice!
- Eh?
The third and last call...
One twenty-five.
Sold for 125 dollars
and l thank you for your kind attention.
Who said 125?
l did. l was telling him the time.
What's that?
Where d'you get it?
Now l see it all.
- What?
- ''What''!
Don't try to alibi.
You stole this money from the old lady.
- Guilt is written all over you.
- What?
You'll give this money back
and make a confession.
- A confession of what?
- To think, for all these years,
l've been fostering a common thief.
A viper in my bosom.
- Whose bos... What are you saying?
- Don't bluff me.
To think you would bite the hand
that was feeding you.
- l didn't...
- You snake in the grass.
You traitor. You sheep in wolf's clothing.
You double-crosser.
You Judas!
- You, you...
- Stop!
Don't call me a ''you, you''.
Missed me, didn't you?
No, you don't.
Get in that car, go back and tell the truth,
the whole truth and nothing but...
Get right in this car.
Get in! Go on in there.
Tell her everything. Go on.
- What on earth's the matter?
- Madam, my one-time friend, Mr Laurel,
has a confession to make.
- l didn't do a thing...
- Confession?
Yes. He's the one who stole your money
and left you at the mercy of that villain.
Why, there must be some mistake.
There's no mistake. lt's all too true.
Why, l caught him red-handed.
There hasn't been any money stolen.
We were just rehearsing a play
for the community players.
l must have made a faux pas.
Please, please, don't! Please, don't, no.
Wait, let me tell you something. l've... Oh!
- Come out of there.
- No, l won't.
- Come out of there.
- You'd better leave me alone.
- Come out of there, you big bozo.
- l won't do it. No.
- l'll make you come out.
- Oh!
Please don't! Ah!
Hey! Oh, hey, wait!
- Get back inside.
- Ah!
Let me get...
l'll show you.
Now wait a minute, now. Oh.
You missed me, didn't you?