One Day More (2011) - full transcript

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

Idiot, moron, fool.

It must be me!

It's my fault that I ended up
with an immature,

puerile, and selfish baby.

Everyone warned me: "That guy's stupid."

But I said: "No, you don't know him".

And I was right:
he's not stupid, he's a jerk!

You can't blame him,
it's part of his charm.

"Let's not rush things,
one step at a time.

Let's see how things turn out."



Well, they've turned into a pile of crap!

Four months of my life down the drain.

Shut up,
I'm sick of hearing your bullshit.

Then again, no.

Here's what we'll do:

prove you're more emotionally mature
than a teenager

or I swear you'll never see me again.

At least spare me the long face.

All you care about
is going back to your breakfast.

Orazio.

Cut it out.

Shit.

- Hello?
- Ale, it's me.

It's just that,



in the heat of the argument…

Got something to say?

Yes, but nothing to do with what you said.

Go ahead, I'm listening.

I think you accidentally took my car keys.

I don't know where the spare set is.

The ones with the key ring
I bought in Livigno.

Yes, those.

You don't have to bring them up,
just leave them…

In the mail box.

My work consists of three steps:

observation, analysis, application.

It's based
on convoluted financial calculations

on the probability of success.

It's complex, but I'll sum it up.

High probability, buy.

Low probability, don't buy.

If couples were financial products,
they'd be very high risk investments.

Probability of success: practically zero.

So why does everyone think
I should take the plunge?

They say that at my age, I should change,

that without a partner
life is pointless and sad.

They're so worried about me,
they gave me a dog.

Apparently to help me learn
to look after others.

HAPPINESS IS LOOKING AFTER LOVED ONES

I've heard the same thing all my life:

A partner equals security,

knowing that if you get the flu,
she'll look after you.

As far as I'm concerned, it's like this:

if one of you gets the flu,
you'll definitely infect the other.

ONE DAY MORE

Three weeks for a key?

I realize it's for my own security, but--

Fine, then don't give me the car
and we'll have no worries.

No, excuse me, my mistake.

Goodbye, thanks.

Problems?

I lost the car keys
and can't find the spare set…

Poluzzi's here, VIP customer.

Isn't he Boldrini's client?

She's sick, she caught swine flu
from her husband.

Melloni knows all the details,
you'll work with him.

No, not him!
It takes him a year to say "hi".

- Giacomone!
- Hey, Melloni. My friend.

So it's me and you.

We'll chew him up and spit him out.

Got a minute? I have some notes
to guide us through today's meeting.

Silver Global is a quinquennial plan

of five years,
or a triennial plan of three.

You don't have to do a thing,
we'll handle it.

You just have to decide

if you want to do nothing
for three years or five.

We can skip the preamble.

Let's not bend the client's ear,
I'd rather go into detail…

I think it's yours.

Yes. Excuse me.

That's odd, it usually never rings…

- Switch it off.
- Yes, of course.

It's my daughter's school.

- Ok, answer it.
- Just a…

Hello?

Yes, good morning. Speaking.

I'm sorry.

You carry on, I'll…

They're kids, it's normal
for them to draw on walls.

It's a way of unleashing their--

What do you mean "ten dicks"?

That's odd, Eleonora doesn't even know…

Yes, of course, if--

All right.

At four. All right.

Good day.

My daughter's teacher.
She said Eleonora was--

Silver Global.

Yes, Silver Global.

I like to imagine your investment

as a radar that we monitor for you.

We rely on three steps:

observation…

and since the investment has
a time limit, we must move fast.

Excuse me,

may I say something?

- How did you do it?
- What?

It was going badly, he was dubious
then you changed everything.

If you want something from someone,
learn how to ask.

And his hands…

Chapped, cracked, red-spotted fingertips…

Fisherman's hands, just like my dad's.

- So?
- You were rushing him.

He normally waits three hours for a chub.

Shit, it's really tough.

Know what we'll do?

My place, tonight.

Carbonara and a friend's homemade beer.

Live beer, it's won prizes.

So you'll teach me some tricks.

Just me and you, no women!

Just the two of us.

Sorry, I can't tonight.

Shame!

- I'll call if my plans change.
- Hope so.

Call as late as you want.

I'll chill the beer anyway.

Is your husband good at soccer?

Why?

He might come home and find us.
Ever happened?

You think I always bring
clients home after meetings?

You don't?

I heard you do.
They say you're a sure-shot.

I mean…

- It's the first time. You?
- I need to eat.

I'm starving!

Isn't this better?

What?

To eat when you want, in bed,

whatever you want,
without too many restrictions.

- I have some restrictions.
- That's where you go wrong.

- How?
- It's not a philosophical question.

It's mathematical.

Imagine a restaurant:
four dishes, four people.

If one lays claim to a dish,
he loses the other three.

It's better to nibble
here and there, have variety.

What will you have?

- Dunno, what about you?
- Some meat.

Are you crazy? Know what they found
at a Chinese restaurant?

Three German Shepherds.

I can't even stand live dogs!

- Shit, the dog!
- What dog?

Shit!

- Hello?
- Alice?

- I left my keys at your place.
- Are you nuts?

My husband's back.
Don't ever call me at home!

Don't do it, I'm sure you'll get killed.

I can sense it.

Shit, Chandry,
it's hard enough without you…

If you die, I'll get fired.

If I die, what do I care if you get fired?

Get off my back, OK?

Damn dog.

I made it, see?

Orazio?

It's locked.

Smash the glass.

- What with?
- The vase.

It's too heavy.

No, use the other one!

Hey, chill out!

And to think he earns more than I do!

Orazio, what the fuck have you done?

Will you turn it off?
Know what time it is?

- Hello?
- Security Service, who is this?

Nothing's happened. I have a dog…

Name and surname, sir.

There hasn't been a burglary,
I'm the owner.

I'll be forced to send a patrol.
It's up to you.

- Giacomo Pasetti. Shit…
- What?

- I wasn't talking to you.
- Password.

Sorry?

You chose a password
when you activated the service.

It's for your own security,
or I'll send a patrol.

Ok, it's Steel Jeeg.

- What did you say?
- Steel Jeeg, the cartoon.

The Japanese robot, remember?

- Call that a password?
- I loved it as a kid.

Anyway, what do you care?

Spell it for me, please.

Hello?

Mr. Pasetti?

Shall I send a patrol?

Damn dog.

Go on, shit.

I get up at seven
and you won't take a dump?

We need to have a chat.

I think you're bad luck.

Here's an idea:
don't be a pain for five minutes.

We can even play with a stick.

See?

Go!

Go! Piss off!

It's already late.

- Can we go play?
- No.

Giacomone! Is that you? Come along, kids.

No way! What are you doing here?

Kids, this is Giacomo,
a good friend of daddy's.

This is Eleonora, the one…

This is Leonardo. Say hello to Giacomo.

- Hello, Giacomo.
- Hello.

- Don't tell me you live here.
- Yes.

Me too! I moved here last week.

My wife and I are going through,
well, not really a crisis.

There are moments in a relationship

when one needs…

There's a doggie.

Is it yours?

You have a dog?

Him? No, he must be a stray.

Daddy, can we take him home?

No kids, mom won't let you keep him.

- She hates animals.
- You keep him.

No, my place is small
and I'm allergic to dogs.

- So?
- Please, dad.

He's got a name tag, he's not a stray.

Please, I beg you.

- He's all alone here.
- Come on, dad.

Don't put me on the spot.

It's simple, kids.

Call the dog pound.

They'll find the owner.

What if they can't?

They'll keep him a couple of weeks
then put him down.

What does that mean?

Nothing.

They'll gas him
like the Jews did to the Nazis.

No, the other way around.

We've gone over this tons of times.

- It's the same thing.
- No, it isn't.

Excuse me if I interrupt.

I have to go. Will you call the pound?

All right?

Ok. Thanks. Bye.

Is he ours, dad?

He's ours.

- Still looking for those keys?
- No. Yes, now it's my house keys.

Losing keys is not a good sign.

Know what my therapist would say?

Found them.

- Like the symphony?
- Yes, why?

You have to go tomorrow night.

But tomorrow's Saturday.

We have a box reserved,
plus Ricardi will be there.

Why did Boldrini ditch her best client?

Boldrini is in the hospital
with pneumonia.

The boss said you have to go.

- Why always me?
- Sermonti's kid is sick.

Biffi's at a funeral,
Costanzo has his kid's recital.

Saturday is a tricky day.

Here are the tickets.

Concert at La Scala,

then a private dinner
on Via Filodrammatici.

Everyone is bringing a spouse
and it's a black tie event.

Who will you take?

Just in case anything happens,

I feel safer knowing you have a set.

I trust you.

Can I tell you something?

- Do you have to? Is it necessary?
- You're 37.

You lose keys then climb the balcony,

or your keys get thrown in the canal.

Your relationships last five minutes,

you play roulette
with your address book to find a date.

You're right.

How's your ex?

Watch her for a sec.

Your mom's such a drag.
No wonder why you always sleep!

How was your first week with Orazio?

Actually I'm quite concerned,
he's not looking well.

The vet did some tests,
I'm waiting for the results.

He was fine
when I got him from the pound.

Of course, but I took him
to see three specialists.

I'm really concerned,
he doesn't look well.

- I'm sure he'll be fine.
- Hope so.

Why are you all dressed up?

That's the second reason I came by.

I've been invited
to a fancy event at La Scala.

- Lovely!
- But I'm not sure.

I always hate being the one
who shows up without…

Right, in those situations one must…

Exactly, you're the only one
I can ask to do this.

Would you…

- Would you do it for me?
- What?

My bow-tie.

I've been trying all afternoon in vain.

Can you do it?

Dunno, I'll give it a try.

Wouldn't want to get shit on it.

That would be bad.

Ricardi's daughter.

Rumor has it
he wants to make her vice-president.

She's getting married.

Maybe she wants one last hurrah.

It's been scientifically proven

that symphonic music
increases production on farms.

Cattle produces more and better milk.

While listening to Mozart
I'm more productive too!

Chantal, to be honest,
why wait till next weekend?

I would go
to the thermal spa with you now.

Now? Meaning tomorrow?

Now meaning now, like right away.

But how can we? Everyone is here.

I know, it would be insanity.

Ok, fine. Let's go.

No, wait, I said "I would go".

Meaning, I would like to go…

There's one problem.

There's a woman in my life.

Even if, I must confess,
I'm incredibly tempted.

But I can't do it, out of loyalty.

Fidelity is a matter of respect, you know?

How gallant of you, I really admire that.

Thanks.

Please do something, he's torturing them.

Chianina cattle love Haydn,
while Angus love Vivaldi.

They're very sensitive creatures.

A Friesian cow stopped producing milk

because a requiem moved her to tears.

You're moving us to tears
with this cow talk!

Are you going to carry on
till the cows come home?

Thanks.

My pleasure.

Dad, can we go dancing after?
You promised.

I'll keep my promise, dear.
Though I don't know where to go.

No problem, Pasetti will help.

If anyone knows the clubs, it's him.

A new club every night, right?

A new girl every night!

A new girl?

Aren't you in a relationship?

Pasetti? No such thing!

You said you're in a serious relationship.

Yes, I got involved recently.

I have a girlfriend,
it was love at first sight.

I never believed
in love at first sight till now.

This is monumental news. Who is it?

Someone from the office?

- A clerk from Turin?
- Stop it.

We're all curious to know.

Where did you meet?

Let me guess. At the Ischia convention!

On the tram.

We met on the tram.

We took the same tram
every morning at the same time.

I never had the guts to talk to her.

Then one day I wondered:

"Can one fall in love with a stranger?"

We get it,
but how did you end up meeting?

How did we meet…

She was reading a book,
she was always reading.

Her book fell, I picked it up.

- And we started talking.
- What book was it?

A book on Ottoman art,
and Istanbul's mosques.

We even went to Istanbul together.

So we got to know each other.

What kind of work does she do?

She's an Art History professor,

she commutes between Milan and Florence.

Doesn't he have his own home?

What do you care?

He's always sitting there on our sofa.

Does he have keys?

Come on, Giacomo, don't start again.

It was understandable
when dad was around, but now…

Plus, what's so wrong about it?

With these girls nowadays…

Girls nowadays? You were born in '48!

What have you told him?

I could pass for someone born in '55.

Having him around has made me happy.

Fine, forget it.

No. It's a matter
of serenity and stability.

Even from a sexual point of view…

Please don't, mom,
you know that bothers me.

Giacomo, be honest.

Do have issues with your sexual domain?

I have no issues with my sexual domain,

I have issues with your sexual domain!

Right.

What do you know? You're always alone.

Who said I'm alone?

There's someone in my life.

Really?

I recently met someone.

What's her name?

Agnese.

Pretty name!

Do I smell coffee?

No, Fausto,
I'm talking to my son right now.

Family talk, go back to the sofa.

Go on, thanks.

When will we meet her?

- What happened with Ricardi?
- Why?

He said that until Boldrini returns,
he only wants you.

Really?

You know, my husband
is in Umbria for a match,

maybe we could do something
together this weekend?

I wish…

But Agnese arrives
early tomorrow morning.

Sorry, if I'd known…

Guys, the software's on the fritz.

We need to redo all the quotes by Monday.

Who will do it?

Sorry, but Agnese's in town
for two days, I never get to see her.

Poor Orazio.

It was bound to happen eventually.

Take a right down there.

I can still picture him.

His little muzzle…

You're telling me.

Luckily Agnese was there for me,
it was really tough for me.

Yeah, good thing.

I can't believe it,
you planted a tree in his honor!

Margherita,
Orazio's soul is inside of this tree.

Let's pet Orazio.

Let's pet him, all together.

I don't feel up to it,
we'll let him rest in peace.

Let's go.

Approximately
how long do we need to hold it?

Giacomo…

I hope you won't disappear
now you have a girlfriend.

Of course not, silly!

Plus, Agnese is not that type of girl.

We'll finally get to meet her,
we're dying of curiosity.

What will I do, Chandry?

You can tell them she died.

That's what I did with my family.

They think I'm dead,
so I can keep all the money.

Death solves every problem.

I already said Orazio died,
I can't kill everyone.

You found her in bed
with your best friend?

But my best friend is Silvia, a woman.

Then there's only one solution.

What?

Ask Agnese to go to the wedding with you.

Are you nuts? How? I don't know her!

Then get to know her.

Even the greatest journeys
begin with one small step.

Right, the Wizard of Bombay has spoken.

I'm hungry.

Do you want to have a coffee?

Excuse me?

Want to have a coffee
or are you in a hurry?

Well, I suppose…

I have to say something now.

I'm already happy as is.

Sorry.

My cell phone.

I can never find it.

Here it is.

I'll turn it off.

Sorry.

Well, I wanted to tell you something.

But that was before. Now it feels weird.

- Well, it is weird.
- Isn't it?

It's like we already know each other
but know nothing about each other.

- Not true, I know lots about you.
- Is that so?

You're environmentally aware

so you take the tram,
plus it'd take longer by car.

You hate loud cell phone talkers,

you watch American sitcoms till late
and are sleepy in the morning.

You teach at the university
and drink coffee till your hands shake.

You're name is Agnese.

See, I know it all.

First off, my hands aren't shaking.

Everyone hates loud cell phone talkers.

Too easy, just like saying
I'm anti-death penalty.

I'm sleepy in the morning
because it's morning,

I don't watch American sitcoms,
I like Italian films from the 60's,

I work at a publishing house
not at the university.

And my name isn't Agnese,
everything else is right.

Your name isn't Agnese?

It's Michela.

Are you sure?

Shit.

What?

Hey. Pasetti.

Well?

Don't tell me…

Sir, Agnese.

This is my boss,
the one I've told you lots about.

Finally! Giacomo talks
about you all the time.

I'm so happy to meet you.

Well…

Likewise.

You're exactly how I pictured you.

You described him perfectly, honey.

Since you're both in Milan,
you have no excuses.

You'll be my guests for dinner.

No, I can't tonight…

We have to go to a funeral,
her grandmother's.

So sorry. They have night funerals?

Tonight we're scattering
her ashes in the canal.

I see.

- We'll see you at the wedding then.
- Wedding?

Of course, we'll see you at the wedding.

If you'll excuse me, I need to go.

I have lots to do.

Permits for the ashes…

It was a pleasure.

Bye, honey.

Pasetti, you lucky dog!

Excuse me.

Michela!

I realize that I just made
a total ass of myself.

But I wanted to thank you, you saved me.

One question:

the wedding…

- It's not ours, right?
- No, not at all.

We were invited
to a wedding on October 1st.

Don't worry, I bought the gift.
I'll come pick you up…

I'm just kidding.

You think I'm a psychopath but…

- But?
- But I'm not.

I'm a good person, I can prove it to you.

Look, you left this at the cafe.

I could have kept it.

I actually like it.

Keep it if you like it.

Excuse me, I really do have to go. Bye.

Wait!

I realize we didn't get off
to a very good start.

Give me the chance to set it right.

Dinner tonight.

Dinner? Me and you?

That way you'll see I'm not deranged.

If it makes you feel better,
I'll invite my invisible friend.

Franco, Michela. Michela, Franco.

It's not easy.

Who can work on Saturday? Me.

Who will go on the trip? Me.

Who will take a client to dinner?

My personal life was hellish before,
and then along came…

Agnese.

Suddenly everyone was nice to me.

- Not to mention, they adore you.
- No way! Really?

Yes, because they see I'm happy.

They're rooting for us.
Time for the mid-year balance sheet?

"It's Agnese's birthday". "No worries."

A client meeting?

"Agnese's not well,
she's undergoing tests."

Tests?

Don't worry, it was benign.

It was touch and go for a while though.

But I stood by you,
I took three days off of work.

Michi, life as a couple is different.

Michi?

Try it, you can use me if you want.

Or you can use Franco if you prefer.

I'd rather use Franco.

If you don't mind, that is.

Franco's not here,
he went to the restroom.

Our first date wasn't bad.

No, it wasn't bad.

Tell me,

how do you think
our first date should end?

We'll have a coffee and take a stroll.

To help digest, of course…

Wouldn't it be better
if we call over the waiter, get the check…

I happen to live nearby.

We can go up, have a drink,

relax a bit.

And then…

Then?

And make the most of our night together.

No?

I'd say yes, not no.

What a pity though…

Why?

It'll never happen.

We know how that would end up.

A few dinners,
some strolls along the canal,

a romantic trip and the end.

Before it becomes
a pain in the ass, right?

Apart from the strolls,
it doesn't sound bad.

Actually, it sucks.

Now we're used to lovers
instead of partners,

coworkers instead of friends,
happy hours instead of dinners.

- Internships instead of jobs.
- No, it's not like that.

We can still form
authentic and concrete bonds.

You mean real love?

A permanent contract? Together forever?

Yes, what's wrong with that?

- Come with me.
- Where?

- You work here?
- I used to.

They probably fired you
for being so hard to please.

Look, all of the answers are here.

What's this?

Books.

I know, I have a book at home too.

But these are books about love,
the greatest love stories.

In every rendition.

But know what's most important?

She always comes to a bad end.

Anna Karenina, Madame Bovary,
the Lady of the Camellias. All dead!

In Love Story, who dies of leukemia?

Who spent a month in a convent
in The Betrothed?

Yes, but in the Gospels the man dies.

It's always been that way.

Every time I feel
that I really like a guy…

that I want to build a life with him,

he starts to say:

"I need my space,
I don't want to feel tied down."

I organize a weekend getaway
and he says I'm suffocating him…

But when I'm the one who wants
a carefree relationship,

he starts talking about having kids,
growing old together.

He bombards my phone
with sappy messages and pathetic poems.

I know what you're thinking.

What?

That I'm difficult.

Not difficult, just a tad heavy.

Listen,

next time we meet let's opt
for a book with a happy ending.

There must be one that ends well?

Yes, but when they end well
they usually suck.

We can't.

We can't.

Why?

I'm leaving tomorrow.

For where?

New York.

How long will you be gone?

I was thinking forever.

I was offered a job,
it's a great opportunity.

That's why I approached you on the tram.

I wanted to tell you.

It seemed wrong to just up and leave.

Bye.

Guess I'm meant to be alone,
what can I say?

I'm really sorry.

Know what I'm going to do?
I'll fly to New York and take her back.

What are you saying?
She's the one who left.

You need a woman who will stay,

not one who wants to leave.

Shit for luck. Plus I have that wedding.

Now what will I do?

Silvia, I realize
it's a lot to ask without notice,

you have a daughter too…

Can you lend me your car?

Look at the sorry state he's in.

He was in a dreamy relationship
that just ended suddenly.

She dumped him
and went to America for her career.

- Bitch!
- But he's super in love.

He even turned me down!

We've all been there.

I know it's hard
but you have to charge ahead.

Miss her lots?

Of course I do,
it was an important relationship.

But what can I do?
It was a good job offer.

Honestly, I understand her choice.

I don't, not at all.

For me, love comes before everything.

- Know what I want right now?
- What?

A nice cigarette,
but I left mine in the car.

I'll come with you.

All right.

I'm trying to quit
but sometimes I can't resist.

Since this isn't my car,
I'm not sure where they are.

You don't need to use
the cigarette excuse with me.

No, that's not what I was…

Wait!

Nobody will see us here.

- Let's talk, get to know each other.
- We'll do that after.

Your name at least?

I'm Paola, I'm an Aquarius,
moody but loyal.

I own a salon, I like Ligabue.
Now move it, they'll cut the cake soon.

All alone? You're not having fun?

No, I am.

Chantal tells me
you're going through a rough patch.

Don't lose heart though.

Things seem grim and senseless,

but you're still young, you'll see.

Look at my wife, for example.

Never loved her, not for a day.

Never.

Yet…

Isn't she gorgeous?

I was about to say that.

Know what, Pasetti?

You remind me of myself at your age.

Want to work for me?

I have a privatization endeavor
in Argentina.

Come with me. I'll give you 20 percent.

I usually give 15 percent.

Boldrini always handled you,
I couldn't betray her.

Are you nuts?

Fine.

Take your time to think it over.

You have till tomorrow.

I love you, daddy!

Sorry.

Argentina, how lovely. I know it well.

I did my doctorate there.
If you want any pointers…

Dante, I'll only be there
for a week, working.

- So no thanks.
- Ok.

But just in case,
take my cell phone number.

It's already in my computer.

You don't have this one,
it's a new number.

No need to write it, you'll remember it.

It's 335-722-7533.

It's a palindrome,
the same backwards and forwards.

- I know what a palindrome is.
- All primary numbers too.

Listen, I really have to go now. Sorry.

- Memorize half of it--
- Sure, bye.

Smells like shit in here.

Hey, Boldrini.

I didn't step in any shit.

But it's coming from right here.

Feeling better?

This is
the Shit State Building, after all.

There are basement offices,
penthouse offices…

with a shitty view of lots of shit.

Lots of shit!

Luciana, I'm sorry if you're upset but I--

I hear buzzing. Blah, blah, blah…

Must be one of those green flies.

The ones that like shit.

Ricardi asked me, I didn't want
to accept but how could I not?

Fresh air!

Fresh air!

Deo gratias!

- Don't go in there.
- Why?

You'll suffocate!

Take three of these a day
for your stomach,

one every eight hours.

Why doesn't Agnese go with you?

Because…

We have our own lives,
we're not attached at the hip

or glued to a sofa.

Do you have to go to Buenos Aires?

It's for work, is that a problem?

- So long as you're happy.
- Yes, I am happy.

Not with that face!

Want these drops for anxiety?

Yes, give them to me.

Look who's here!

Taking a trip?

Where to?

Argentina, but he has to rush
or he'll miss his flight.

Argentina?

I dream of going there!

Make you sure you dance Tango,
Argentine Tango!

You stole my cabeza, you stole my corazón

Volver

The Captain informs us
we'll be landing in Pittsburgh.

Passengers with connecting flights

should go to Terminal Four.

No, just a small problem
with my connecting flight…

Now I'll have to wait
a few days for my bags.

You know that black bag?
With all my documents?

I checked it in.

I don't know what I was thinking!

With all of the contracts…

and the estimates for…

Techprom.

It'll take two or three days.
Will you tell Ricardi for me?

Ok, thanks. Bye.

How many Michelas could there be?

Ok. Thanks.

I'm here because
I have something to tell you,

then I'll leave you alone, but first:

I admit I'm superficial and not good
at long-term relationships,

but you suggest abstinence over lovers,

loneliness over coworkers,
hunger over happy hours…

Pathetic!

And don't start talking about books,
we get the picture:

some guy dumped you
and now you're taking it out on us.

Plus who says we can only have a fling?

And what's a fling anyway?

You think you know it all,
but you know zilch.

Done?

Yes.

This is Tom, my boss.

He knows some Italian
but not if you speak fast.

Gotta go, we have lots to do.

- Sorry!
- No, I'm sorry…

I'd better go before they tow my car.

You have a car here?

Yes, I have a car here.

Thanks very much, Giacomo.

- That's very kind of you.
- It's my pleasure, really.

Give me your return date
and I'll pick you up too.

Just playing around!

Your bag.

Thanks, Giacomo.

What a weirdo!

Have you been together long?

He's clearly in love with you.

Mind your own business.

What did you come here for?

For a conference.

Impossible, tomorrow's a holiday.

That's why nobody showed up,
the room was empty…

New York, New York my foot.

How did you know where I work?

The red logo on your planner.

You kept flashing it,
practically begging me to visit.

And here I am.

You're nuts.

This is all I need today!

Problems?

The agent I need to meet
canceled due to a hold-up at home.

Tomorrow's a holiday
then it's the weekend.

This is my first contract,
if I don't secure it I'm screwed.

Then go to his house.

If someone who has to sign
says they have a hold up,

either there's a real hold-up
or he's trying to shaft you.

If it's true,
then you win points for your effort.

If it's not true, then you'll shaft him.

Where does this jerk live?

Has the Publishing King always lived here?

He used to live in Manhattan,
near his office.

What the fuck am I doing?

Don't be aggressive,
let him think he's in charge,

he's a broken man.

- What?
- Look, the pool is deflated,

the hoop hasn't been hung up,

only one name on the door: his.

His wife left him, the female judge tore
him a new asshole over the alimony,

and he feels bad for his kid.

He isn't even capable
of mounting the hoop with a drill.

He's on the brink of a nervous breakdown.

But do as you please.

Did you learn this from an episode of CSI?

It's exactly like you said it was:
the separation, the kids…

I was sweet and understanding,
I felt like my sister!

- How did you know?
- Well…

- Just a few rules I learned.
- I want to know the others!

Here's one. After you seal a deal
you eat. Aren't you hungry?

Starving!

There must be some place to eat
in dumpy New Jersey!

Not too bad, huh?

Very typical…

- It's full of couples.
- Just like us!

Right, let's get one thing straight.

What happened between us
happened, but it's not--

Not now, the waiter's here.

Me too!

This is my wife, Michela.

My pleasure, ma'am.

- What part of Italy?
- Milan.

Know it?

- You are Italian?
- Yes.

It's near Campobasso.

You're a real Italian!

Thanks!

- Why did you say we're married?
- Relax.

Look. "Wedding Menu:
for couples honeymooning

there's a 30 percent discount
plus free drinks."

This fits right in with your MO:
fake girlfriend, fake wife,

invisible friend…

Is there anything else I should know?

Sorry, I apologize, at times I just…

I'm a jackass.

Know what? When Petrella Cisternina
comes back I'll tell him:

"Petrella, I tried to dupe you,
I'm a shitty person…"

Special food for the Italian lovebirds!

Actually, you tell him.

I live here.

How lovely!

Well…

If you come back to New York
we can meet up.

Bye.

But what do you mean by "meet up"?

Where am I supposed to sleep?

In your hotel room?

I don't have a hotel room.

Let me guess, more bullshit?

No, I'm serious.

My bags got stuck on the plane too.

All I need is a shirt.

I may have an invisible friend,
but this pillow barrier is ridiculous.

Be quiet.

Is this Tom Tom's shirt?

Does he sleep over a lot?

Really…

you assume a girl
has to do her boss to get a job!

I didn't mean that but…

Things may be like that in Italy.

But not here. That's why I came here.

Meritocracy exists here,
familiar with that word?

If you're good you succeed,
if not, goodbye.

Fixed-term contracts exist here too,
but if you're good, they keep you.

You don't need to be
anyone's lover or relative.

Here things are really…

Are you asleep?

What does this mean?

"He couldn't help but stare at her",

or better
"He couldn't take his eyes off of her".

Like this?

Yeah, like that.

Less serial killer-esque.

A real best seller, huh?

I thought you didn't like love stories?

What's it about?

Two people who meet, fall in love,

they fight, break up, and find new lovers.

How does it end?

It ends well, so it sucks.

It may suck,
but the first few pages struck me.

This book sucks you in!

I just started it, but the female
character resembles you,

whenever she hears of love--

Good morning!
I got us breakfast. Muffins.

Chocolate and blueberry,
I'll eat the one you don't want.

Milk or coffee?

Take your time. You're beautiful.

Where's the sugar?

Found it.

Milk?

I don't have any milk,
let's go out for breakfast.

I want your honest opinion…

I left Milan because I was sick
of having flings with unreliable men.

I moved to a new home,
a new job, a new continent

and what do I do here?

I sleep with a guy
who's going to another hemisphere.

I should be like my sister.
No sex till you're a couple.

What's the problem,
you want to be like your sister?

So be it!

Let's be a couple.

For four days.

No Buenos Aires, I'll change my flight.

Think about it: me and you,
no cell phones, four days just for us.

I like you and it was clear
from day one that you like me,

Quite a bit. We're here in New York.

Sounds like the greatest love story
of all time.

Or if you prefer,
I'll get on a plane and disappear.

Look at me.

What will it be?

Are we sure about this?

Four days of being a couple?

- Isn't that a bit much?
- Well, yes.

Unless we get help from a professional.

This isn't a book,
it's an instruction manual.

I pretty much read the whole thing.

DAY ONE

DAY TWO

Is it necessary?

I'm afraid so.

If it's a girl…

Giulia?

No, Chiara. Sofia.

I like all three of them.

I like Sofia best. And if it's a boy?

If it's a boy…

First, no piano lessons
unless he begs us on his knees.

He'll play two sports
and he'll pick his career, not us.

It's crucial we be strict about joints,

we won't be too lenient.

If he smokes joints,
we yell at him, kids need discipline.

Yes, but without going to extremes.

Having a kid with weed
at home is handy.

Like I always say, you'll be a great mom.

It shows!

Do you realize what you are,
you pathetic idiot?

Inventing a girlfriend
to impress people at work.

Look who's talking? Approaching
guys on the tram hoping for a fuck.

A fuck? If I were you,
I'd avoid that topic.

Really? I didn't hear you
complaining before.

They often send short novels to my office.

I always hope
they're masterpieces of concision.

But instead, they're just short.

At times, extremely short.

So much irony in such a tiny head.

You hide behind those fucking books,

always nit-picking and pointing fingers.

No wonder nobody wants you!

I think we're done.

Jealousy, gripes, sexual accusations.

- We did it all.
- I can check it off our list.

Campari?

DAY THREE

Why did you turn
our book around. Ashamed of it?

"Our book"?

What a lovely breakfast.

Sit down.

I have to call the office,
what will I tell them?

That you found your soulmate
and fell in love.

No, I need a credible excuse.

- Hello?
- Security Service.

- What happened?
- Is this Giacomo Pasetti?

- Yes. Speaking.
- Password, please.

Hold on.

Do you have to ask
the password every time?

You're the ones who called me,
so clearly it's me.

It's for your own security,
I need the password now.

Steel Jeeg.

- What happened?
- I'll pass you the patrol car.

The patrol car?

- Giacomo Pasetti?
- Yes, it's me.

- What's going on?
- Password!

Steel Jeeg.

Mr. Pasetti, there's a water leak
in your apartment

which has damaged
the apartment downstairs.

- Shall we break down the door?
- No way!

You never sent us the keys.
We have to break down the door.

My friend has spare keys.
I'll call her now and sort it out.

- Fine, but hurry because…
- There's a water leak, I know!

- Watch your tone!
- All right, thanks.

- Everything OK?
- Yes.

No. Everything flooded.

Flooded?

Sorry.

You don't remember any numbers?

No luck.

Funny, isn't it?

We're convinced technology helps us,
but it only creates more problems

because ten years ago we had
address books and memorized numbers.

The most landline numbers.

With cell phones, everything's different.

It's a palindrome,
the same backwards and forwards.

I know what a palindrome is!

- Hello?
- Who is this?

Sorry, I dialed the wrong number.

There are endless combinations.

Let's keep trying or I'm screwed.

You should leave a set of keys
hidden near your door!

Hurry, or I won't even have
a door anymore.

Try this.

- Hello?
- Dante!

- Dante! Listen…
- Giacomone!

- I knew you'd call me…
- Hold on, listen…

- It must be lunch time there.
- Yes--

- My favorite restaurants are…
- Shut the fuck up!

This is an emergency.

You must urgently contact
a person at this address.

Ok?

Here it is.

The tube will hold up for now.

Hope the floor holds up.

If the boards swell up…

- How long have you known Giacomo?
- For years!

- We're rather…
- Odd, he never mentioned you.

That's because he's rather reserved,

a man of few words, like me.

That's our style.

Friendship is expressed through actions.

- Like with Orazio…
- Orazio?

I have a dog named Orazio.

Giacomo noticed I was lonely

since my wife and I are going
through a sort of rough patch,

which is to be expected
in a long-term relationship--

- Ok, but what about the dog?
- Oh, yeah. He gave it to me!

- He gave you Orazio?
- Yes, because my son…

saw the dog and fell in love with it.

So he gave it to us.

He even pretended it wasn't his.
Such a noble man.

I get it, she made him give the dog away!

- She, who?
- Agnese.

- What?
- Didn't you know?

- What?
- Agnese is fake, he invented her.

All right. This gal was hounding him.

She was a real…

So he invented Agnese
and got her off his back!

Giacomo can be a real jerk
when he wants to be.

A real jerk.

We need to kiss on Woody Allen's bench

and have sex on a roof at night,
then we're done.

Or was it having sex
on Woody Allen's bench? I'll check.

Oh well…

This couple-act
doesn't make sense anymore.

We've been together for quite a while now.

I think we're ready for chapter ten.

LAST DAY

Who will you see later?

Hey!

It was Tom.

He's back from Chicago a day early.

Great, he can be our witness
at the wedding.

Something wrong?

Not at all.

They made him an incredible offer.

He'll be the editor-in-chief
and I'll be editorial director.

Fantastic, congrats!

Yes, but now…

I'll have to go to the office,
lots of work to do.

Today of all days.

We'll have to postpone.

Are you mad?

No, of course not. When it comes to work…

We can just meet up tonight, right?

No, I'll be working tonight too.

The Chicago staff is flying in,
we have a work dinner after.

Right, you and Tom work at night.

- Excuse me?
- Forget it.

No, I heard you loud and clear.

Listen…

I know you're disappointed, so am I.

No need for a scene, it's not a big deal.

I'll be out of here tomorrow
anyway, the end.

Fine.

You know what?

Let's just end it now.
One day more, one day less…

We started this fucking game
to avoid moments like this.

Because this is a game, or am I wrong?

You're not wrong.

Well then, game over.

You're finally back.

Why are you here?

Your friends gave me the keys.

Don't worry, I won't keep them.

The floor is fixed.

It's as good as new.

You shouldn't have, thanks.
I'll finish it myself later.

Don't worry, go sit down on the sofa.

Rest up, I'll finish it.

I put your mail on the table.

Your mom was worried about you.

She didn't know where you were.

Luckily, Silvia called to update her.

When people reach a certain age,
they become more apprehensive.

They're afraid of being left alone.

Well, luckily, you're around.

Giacomo, I have an idea.

Give your mom a call.

Tell her you'll come over
for Sunday lunch.

You're telling me
what to say to my mother?

No, it was just an idea,
it would make her happy.

Thanks a lot, Fausto,
but I need to rest now.

Just one more minute.

No, get the fuck out of here!

I need to rest.

I'm sorry, Fausto.

My flight was really long.

- Yes?
- Silvia, it's Giacomo.

You haven't been answering my calls!

You know, never a free moment
with my kid and stuff.

I got this for Margherita
and this for you.

What an insane trip.

Sorry, but I have to…

We'll catch up some other time,

but call beforehand.

- Ok.
- Bye.

- Dante?
- Who is it?

It's Giacomo, I'm back.

I wanted to say hello and thank you.

- For what?
- For dealing with the flood…

- Get down from there, Orazio!
- Hello?

- No, don't do that!
- Dante?

Are you OK?

Yes, no. It's the dog. Bye.

I already emailed Ricardi's assistant.

I'll get things organized and…

I can leave next week.

Don't worry.

No problem, Pasetti.

Why didn't you tell me?

Tell me who went in my place.

Boldrini.

The boss decided.

You risked a VIP client.

And Dante?

Dante who?

Melloni, the drag.

He's gone. Paid leave
then we'll sort out his contract.

Sort out his contract?

We have to lay off
ten employees by the 26th.

If not him, who?

You always complained about him anyway.

Hello?

He looks peaceful.
He'll wake up soon, right?

Of course.

He told me you two met up.

And that you were thrilled
about the repairs he did.

He's good, isn't he?

Very good.

He can fix anything.

What will I do if he dies?

What will I do?

Sorry for being so shitty and selfish.

Childish and dishonest too.

True.

Your lies hurt the most.

You betrayed my trust.

I know.

You acted like a real jerk.

I get it, I know.

- I haven't even thanked you yet.
- For what?

- For handling the flood.
- No, your friend did it all.

He's…

an interesting fellow.

What's that look for?

Go away!

Nobody's here!

Quiet, Orazio.

Dante?

To what do I owe this honor?

Big Giacomo!

Look at the state of you! You stink!

Come on, get up.

- Wait!
- What's wrong?

I feel like…

Shall I go out and get you something?

Yeah, go out and fuck off.

I realize you're upset
but you can't take it out--

Who reads these?

Not me, for sure.

Probably some physics students.

Maybe.

"Internationally renowned scientific
researcher teaches classes…"

You never told me!

Good morning! Sit down.

Coffee's almost ready.

Take this pill,
it'll make you feel better.

I threw out your shabby button-down
shirts and bought you these.

You don't know shit about money,
that's why you never closed deals.

I made some calls,
you have two interviews.

A science magazine
and a clean energy plant.

Don't worry, everything will work out.

Have a croissant.

Can they be returned?

They're nice, but blue isn't my color.

White is better for me,
or something checkered or striped.

You got these from the bakery
downstairs? I can tell.

A block further there's a better place.

Light years better!

How can you sleep on that soft mattress?

The one I have is hard as wood,
much better for the back.

- You stopped before the best part.
- Best?

Are you sure marriage is the best part?

But it's a pity
you'll never see each other again.

It would have ended the next day anyway.

How do you know?

One day more, one day less.
What's the difference?

What a crock of shit!

One day more makes a big difference.

Not all days are the same.

At times nothing happens.
At times, everything happens.

Know how many times a carbon ion
attracts a hydrogen atom?

Ten million billion times a day.

Know how many times
an oxygen electron joins in?

Only once.

So far this has only happened once.

Know what that led to?

What?

The birth of the universe.

The carbon ion doesn't think
every day is the same.

DINNER AT NINE

I didn't even see her.

Dunno where she is or with whom,
but I have a hunch.

So?

I left a letter.

Saying I'll be in New York
on the 21st. I fixed a date.

If she shows up, great. If not, goodbye.

A date?

You've finally learned.

I have something to tell you too.

Deontologically,
I can't not tell you this.

What I said about the carbon ion and all…

- Yes, it created the universe.
- It's a crock of shit.

I made it up on the spot.
I had to come clean.

"The last thing I'd want to do

is make you uncomfortable or uneasy."

You're Giacomo?

Maybe she never received the letter.

Who knows…

You have to keep looking for her,
understand?

Maybe it was meant to be this way.

But we gave it our best shot!

My cousin.

Right. Thanks, Vitantonio.

I know you.

You work at a restaurant in New Jersey.

Your wife is from Petrella Tifernina.

Yeah, sort of.

We're already late.

Wait! I have a confession to make.

At the restaurant that night,
we tricked you.

We weren't married, I owe you 25 dollars.

Everyone does that. Clients think
they outsmart you and pay happily.

In the end, most couples
come back really married.

No one pretends
to be in love for 25 dollars.

There must be another reason.

Good luck, pal.

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.