Once Around (1991) - full transcript

♪ We've got each other's arms

♪ And let your poor heart
break a little

♪ As long as there's the two of us

♪ We've got the world
and all its charms

♪ We've got each other's arms

Joe? Are you in there?

Damn that man.

Hi.Hi.

Oh! Those look terrific. Thank you.

Hi. Hi!

Oh, Rob, have you seen Joe?



Oh, God. You are beautiful.

You're glowing.

You're the one that's glowing.

Just look at you! No. I just look dressed up.

You look like...

you're wearing your soul or
somethin' inside out today.

Oh, fuck you. Oh, fuck you.

Oh, Tony. Hi, Mom.

Is Dad out there?
Have you seen him anyplace?

No, Mom, I have no idea where Dad could be.

Marilyn. Hi.

Hi.

Joe!

Joe!



Shh.

Joe! What are you doing?

I'm drivin' my car, Marilyn!

Come on in here.

Hi, Uncle Joe!

Your booby prize. You not gonna wear it?

No, you are. Something borrowed,
something blue, something new.

Right. Something small, something
cheap, something plastic.

Stop that. You know you guys
are next. Oh, who gives a shit?

I'm having an affair.

You are not.

Oh, yeah.

I don't believe you.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, God.

- I am not listening to this.
- With a mutual friend.

Ma! Shut up, will you?

Ma! You are getting married. in one second.

Wait. I am not gonna see him anymore.

Ma! Shh! After I'm married.

Besides, if you were having
an affair, you'd think it was great.

It's Jim, isn't it?

All set, honey. You ready? Fuck.

- Shit.
- Mom.

It's not time yet, is it?

It's not. It really, really couldn't be.

If you don't wanna do this,
you don't have to.Please.

You don't have to be
embarrassed or anything.

I'll just do down there and tell 'em.

Ma! Ma.

Okay. Just wanted to
make sure. Let's go then.

Do good. I will.

Bye.Bye.

I love you, Daddy. I love you, sweetheart.

Tony. What the hell
kind of shoes are those?

Now, by the powers vested in me...

by the state of Massachusetts,

I now pronounce you man and wife.

And you may kiss your bride.

Yeah!

Yeah! I did it.

Okay, here we go.

Oh.

Well, that counts! That counts!

It's the real thing.

Nice try, Renata.

You wanna be smart? Get
that boyfriend of yours over here.

We'll pour champagne,
and you set the date now.

Yeah? Mm-hmm.

Crazy ritual, huh?

Renata! Renata. You are lovely.

You must really be getting it
today, being the only unmarried Bella.

- But let me tell you, there's still time.
- That's great, Auntie.

Sis. Joe!

Joe!

I'm sorry about this. It's no problem.
No problem.

Why won't you look at me?

Look at you? I'm looking
at you, right at you.

Can I get something to drink? Of course.

Oh, yeah, Rob. Come here.
Take a little advice from me, will ya?

You... You would thrive in
marriage. Am I right, Joe?

You would thrive in it. All right.

Pressured, huh?

As if I'm not being pressured? What?

Everybody's not stupid, you know.

You gave me that sapphire
necklace as an engagement ring.

- You said it yourself.
- Yeah. And I noticed Jan is wearing it.

It really made me feel much closer
to her, knowing that she's wearing it.

I don't care one way or another
if we get married or not.

But you should know you look like a worm.

A spineless worm.

A worm? Hey, I am being
more sociable here...

than anybody has... Excuse me, everyone.

Can I get your attention
for a second, please?

I not gonna take too much time up here.

I just wanna say
before I say anything else...

that I... I just want to say...

that if my mother were alive today,

she'd be very happy and very proud.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

I miss Ma. What the hell.

Hey, Rob. How's it going, buddy?

I'm a worm. I'm a spineless worm.

So am I.

Jan, baby. I'm gonna
sing this song just for you.

Whenever you're down...

and honey, there's gonna
be times when you're down...

I want you to remember your old man...

and this song.

♪ You've got to give a little

♪ Take a little

♪ And let your poor heart
break a little

♪ That's the story of

♪ That's the glory of love

♪ You got to laugh a little

♪ Cry a little

♪ Before the clouds roll by a little

♪ That's the story of

♪ That's the glory of love

♪ As long as there's the two of us

♪ We've got the world

♪ And all of its charm

♪ And when this world
is through with us

♪ We got each other's arms

♪ You got to win a little

Excuse me.♪ Lose a little

♪ And always have the blues a little

♪ That's the story of

♪ That's the glory of

♪ That's the story of

♪ That's the glory of

♪ Love

I, uh, saw a good job in the newspaper.

I'm starving.

You go to St. Maarten to sell
condos to people in Boston.

You'd make a lot of money, Rob.

You want anything?

Huh?

Ren?

Ren. What's the matter?

Oh, don't cry.

Don't cry.

I just want a house.

And a big important job.

And I want you to...

fall on your knees and beg me to marry you.

I want you to say:

You are the woman who will change my life.

I could, you know.

I think my life's pretty good.

Is that sapphire an engagement promise?

That's what you said it was.

There is no question about it.Ooh.

Are you ever... Have you ever...

No. Listen to me. Listen to me.

Do you intend to ever marry me? Tell me.

Tell me.

Oh. Oh, baby.

Oh, baby. Tell me, tell me.

Sweetheart.

I want to hear
the exact words you'd choose.

I do not ever intend to marry you, Ren.

♪ I tried to reach the
moon But when I got there

♪ All that I could get was the air

♪ My feet are back upon the ground

♪ I lost the one girl I'd found

So, you see, Renata,

it's bigger than all of us, honey.

Ya can't guess it.

Now, I... I-I was crazy about the girl.

It was before I met your
mother, of course... but crazy.

You know, I do not remember her name.

Do you believe the same
will happen to you? Do ya?

Huh?

That a-girl.

Son of a bitch had the
best years of her life.

- You know, the thing is, he really never even knew you.
- - That's right.

He had no idea that you're exceptional.

You're an exceptional person.
You always were.

Isn't that right, Jan?
Absolutely, Mom. Absolutely.

- He says I'm not intellectual.
- Who gives a shit?

God, what a pig. What does he know
about intellectual?

Do you need that?

Hey. Oh.

I wish I could take you with me.

Have a great time. Don't get nervous.

Okay, bye.Adios.

- You're gonna love the flight, honey. Don't get nervous.
- Bye.

Boarding call for American Airlines... Bye.

Flight 478 to Barcelona.

I'm... I'm gonna see if I can see 'em.

Dad! Oh, you just missed 'em.

One lousy honeymoon your sister
goes on, and you miss it.

Oh, come on, you guys. Cut it out.

Where's your wife? Oh, it's a madhouse.

Yeah. Forget about it, Tony. The point is
that you missed Jan going on her honeymoon.

Get rid of the beard. You
look like a goddamn terrorist.

- Honey! Let's get going.
- You're gonna be late for work. There's their plane.

Uh-huh. You know what surprises me, Tony?

What? How you got through security.
That's what surprises me.

Ma, Dad?

Anything the matter?

Can I sleep with you and Daddy?

Oh, sure. What's going on? Huh?

Nothing. Nothing, Joe. Just
Renata wants to sleep with us.

Why don't you get your pillow,
honey, and come back?

Don't cram me in all night, Joe.

Will you give me a little room to breathe?

I feel sick.

No, you're going to be
just fine, honey. Just fine.

Good night, sweetheart.
Good night, Daddy. Night, Ma.

Good night, sugar.

I found a job selling condominiums
in St. Maarten to people in Boston.

Now you're talking. That's talking.

That's terrific. You-You gotta take it.

Really? Uh-huh.

Just sleep. You've been a waitress
long enough.

Just... Just don't think
about anything. Just sleep.

Hi. I'm Brigette Larson.

I'd like to welcome all you
cold-weather Bostonians to paradise.

Right now, we are headed
toward the fabulous...

Pelican Resort and Casino
time-sharers' complex.

You'll find 300 time-share units,

152 with extraordinary ocean views.

All those with luggage with red tags...

will be staying
in the Terrace room, ocean side.

Blue tags in the new building
right behind us.

...proceed directly to our first
seminar, entitled Born to Sell.

There are two things
you need to make a deal.

One is money, the other is attitude.

Their money, your attitude.

If you don't have a positive
attitude, get out now.

So now tell me, how do you feel?

Great! Yes!

How do you feel? Great!

That's what I wanna hear! You'll fill
that board if you have that attitude.

You'll sell every condo we have.

I don't care whether it outlooks
onto the parking lot. You'll sell it!

Hello, everybody. Welcome,
all you beautiful people.

Boy, have I got a treat for you.

I'd like to introduce you
to our very top salesman,

my idol, Mr. Sam Sharpe.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you. Thank you very much.
Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you! Thank you very much! Is that a banana
in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Ba-dum-pum.

What did the man say who had five penises?

What? My pants fit me like a glove.

That's sick.

Thank you. Thank you.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome all you guys and gals
to the Pelican Condo family.

You're a great-looking bunch of trainees.

As a matter of fact,

there are some of you here today
who are simply stunning.

I wanna hear you give yourselves...

a big round of applause... ready?

One, two, three. Go!

There you go!

- That's it!
- Let me hear it!

Now, for those of you...

who don't know me, my name is Sam Sharpe.

And I guess you could say that I
have sold a few of these babies myself.

Sam Sharpe has sold...

2,575 shares.

Now you're acting like a
salesperson. Good goin'.

And last year, in
commission alone, I made...

a lot of money.

Now, you must be asking
yourself by now, "Who is this guy?"

You know? "Who is this
hugely successful salesperson?

Who is this incredibly well-dressed...

Yeah. incredibly well-hung guy?"

Well,

I, uh, I am descended from a long line...

of Lithuanian generals.

My family... God bless
each and every one of them...

came over here to this
fabulously wonderful country...

when I was just a little fellow in shorts.

And now take a look at what I'm wearing.

All right! That's America.

Every one of you can do just as
well. You know what I'm talkin' about.

This place sells itself.

Thank you very much. Bon appétit.

All right! Let's hear it for Sam Sharpe!

That was nice.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much.

It's time
for the Pierrot du Pepe. I love that wine.

Oh! Not many people know that wine.

I used to work in the food industry.

Really? So did I.

Hi, everybody. I'm Joyce.Hello.

Hi, Joyce.

Well, cheers.

May I? Oh.

- Red is a beautiful color.
- Mmm. It's my favorite color.

Your suit is gorgeous. You really like it?

Oh, yes. I love it. It's wonderful.

Thank you. I got it in Japan. No!

Yes.Wow.

Tokyo. Tokyo is a wild place.

Oh, yeah.

I can imagine... anyway.

You can't believe the dresses
that they make in Tokyo.

- I would love to buy you a dress from Tokyo.
- Wow!

My dad used to sing that song to
my mother. "Fly Me to the Moon."

I, of course, was born in the '40s,

when they wrote incredible songs.

That's why I have such intense passions.Oh.

I believe that 100%.

I mean, I know all those songs
'cause of my dad, and...

Hell. Men of my own generation
have never understood me at all.

I mean, if you know...

♪ Fly me to the moon and

♪ Let me play among the stars

♪ Let me see what spring is like

♪ On Jupiter and Mars

♪ In other words, hold my hand

♪ In other words

♪ Baby ♪ Darling

♪ Kiss me

What's your name? Renata.

Renata.Yeah.

That's a lovely, lovely name.Mmm.

You are the second most
beautiful woman I've ever seen.

Your mother. You got it.

I don't believe you.

You know, there is
an old Caribbean custom...

that says when a man
kisses a woman on a roof...

on the first night that they meet,

that she has to believe
everything he ever tells her.

And that is a fact.

Mmm. I shouldn't have done that. Why not?

You're wearing a wedding
ring. Um, I'm divorced.

- Oh.
- No, in business...

In business, it's better to be married.

Renata, my divorce was final September 2.

No! Yes!

- God! That's my birthday!
- No!

Yes!

Renata, you have to come to New
York with me. Just for a weekend, please!

I'm immeasurably flattered. I mean...

A weekend is just two days, but I can't.

I have my family to get back to.

♪ Fly you to the moon

♪ And let us play among the stars

♪ Let us see what spring is like

♪ On Jupiter and Mars

♪ In other words, hold my hand

♪ In other words, darling, kiss me

Yeah.

Sam.Mmm.

When you brought me back
to my room last night...

You wouldn't let me in,
you tease. I wanted to tell you something...

You drive me wild... I
was afraid to excite you...

you old-fashioned, fuddy-duddy sex
goddess. any more than I did already.

Sam! What? What? Tell me.

You know, Sam,

I saw you for the very first time,

standing as you looked out at the ocean...

Yeah? and the moment I saw you,

a voice inside me said:

"I'm gonna kiss this guy in front
of an altar with God as a witness."

It did? That voice inside me.

Yeah? I've never heard it, ever,
until I saw you.

I can't believe this.

I can't believe you're driving
me here. Why? It's only logical.

You wouldn't let me feed you
baby shrimp in New York.

Daddy. Renata!

Daddy! What are you doing here?

Oh, God, I'm so happy
to see you. Daddy, um... God. Oh, oh.

Let me shake the hand of the first
man that my little rosebud ever loved.

Daddy, you're coming in there. Come on.

Just take a look.
It's only gonna be a second. Come on.

It'll be
interesting to you. My hands are dirty.

It'll be glorious.
Just get in. I don't want to go.

Get in. Get in! I have mud on my shoes.

Okay, Sonny, let's go.

You can go around the rotary
at high speeds...

without ever hitting your brake.

I think I have the record in Massachusetts.

Oh, what suspension. This is an automobile.

What's his name? Sonny? Sonny!

- You can crank her up 10 more miles per hour.
- What 10? 30 miles an hour!

Come on! Okay.

This baby really hugs the road. Holy shit!

There's even champagne in the refrigerator.
Ooh, ooh! Champagne, champagne!

No, thanks. I get headaches. Come on, Daddy.

- Marilyn!
- Hi, honey. What...

- What are you doin' up there? Get down.
- Renata!

Hi! Ma!

You're gonna kill yourself. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah! Oh! Help, help, help!

Oh, God.

Honey! Honey, how are you?

Oh! I didn't expect you back so early.

- Sam, this is my mother. Mom, this is Sam.
- Excuse the glove.

Hello.Hello. How are you?

- Isn't she beautiful?
- How do you explain a rose...

to someone who has never
seen a rose before?

Welcome.

So, uh, he detoured Renata
in New York City,

- just so he can drive back to Boston.
- How nice.

If I had my way, I'd have driven
her all the way to California.

Well, how do you like the job? You love it?

Mmm. I learned I wouldn't
be good at selling condos.

She'd be sensational. It just
wasn't the right place for her.

- Really.
- So, uh, you're back to where you started.

Well, not really, Dad.

"Not really, Dad."
What's that supposed to mean?

Hi, Tony! Tony!

Come on. Come meet him.

Hi, Tony. Hey, Renata!

You're home early.

How's the condo biz?

This is Sam. This is my brother, Tony.Tony.

Sam. Nice to meet ya.

Nice limo.

Why don't you come up and have
something to eat with Renata and...

Sam, right? Sam.

I have to work. This came
in real handy. Thanks.

- Well, it's Saturday.
- Got to go. Got to go to work.

Would you take a day off once in a while?

I got a plumber here. He robs
me blind as soon as I turn around.

Bye, Tony. Bye, doll.

Tony. You're gonna get plenty
of chances to get to know me.

Joe, come on and have
something to eat with the kids.

- Hey, Sonny, bring in the champagne.
- - Okay.

No, no, no! No, thank
you. Just leave it in the car.

Oh, Tony, don't forget, it's
Dad's birthday tomorrow night.

Marilyn. Marilyn, please...

Please, honey. No
celebration. No cake. Nothing.

Sure, sure, sure. You didn't like the job?

Come here. Come here!

Come here. Okay!

- Come here.
- Come here.

Was that just regular vodka
we were drinking?

It's 2:00 in the morning, for chrissake.

I mean, we don't even know
this guy, really.

I think she should go to her own
goddamn room. I mean, it's close to 2:30.

You know, Joe, I think if this works out, it
could be the best thing that ever happened to her.

I think he's crazy about her.

That's it. Where you going?

That's it. Don't go down there!

Oh, darling. Oh, darling.

Kiss me.

Oh, Joe! Joe, she is so funny.

She was just telling me how
her horse, Horny, used to eat...

Shoni. God, his name is Shoni.Shoni.

How Shoni walked in the rain
with all the water fallin'... We woke you?

What the hell's the matter with
you, Renata? Your mother can't sleep.

Dad!

For chrissake, it's 3:00 in the morning.

Okay, fine. I'm going to bed.

Whoa, ho, ho! What's with that attitude?

All of a sudden I'm the bad guy? Huh?

Because it's 3:30 in the morning, and
I want you to go to bed, for chrissake?

All right!

Your mother wants some goddamn sleep.

Renata, don't let him go away angry.

Come on, sweeten him up, buttercup.

- Dad?
- Don't worry, sweetheart.

You're forgiven. Just go to sleep now.

Wait a minute.

What's the matter?
What's going on? You okay?

Am I... Am I okay?

If... If I told you how wrong
everything's been since Rob,

if I... If-If I told either one of you,
you'd probably call the cops on me.

Or a priest or Jan or a medical doctor or...

I'm clutching for dear life
in there, okay? Hell...

I've been split down the middle.

Split down the fucking middle.

I've been flung into this wasteland to
figure out how come two plus two made five.

And at the same time, I feel like I'm gonna
turn into a white flame and suddenly go pfft!

Disintegrate. And you ask me if I'm okay?

That's not the point!
That's just not the point!

The point is, I don't want
to be told when to go to bed.

All right. Stay up late. No problem.

You bet. You bet I'm staying
up late if I want. Okay, Mom?

Okay. Sure. You stay
up as late as you want.

And then again,
I just might go right to bed.

- That's okay too.
- Sure. Absolutely.

What was that?

♪ And let me sing forevermore

♪ You are all I long for

You hear that? I don't hear anything.

- Jesus Christ, shut the window.
- I'm freezing my ass off.

♪ Fly me to the moon

♪ Let me play among the stars

♪ And let me see what spring is like

♪ On Jupiter and Mars Lift your arms.

♪ In other words... and then bring in
a bit of the material...

♪ Hold my hand

♪ In other words

♪ Baby, kiss me

♪ Fill my heart with song

♪ And let me sing forevermore

Let me see it again.

Look at this neckline.

Oh, no, no, no. Leave your coat off.

No, you're just gonna stare at me.

Oh, God, I am busted up inside.

I swear, the adrenaline
inside me is like, wow, kick-ass.

Oh, God.

Do I look okay? Because I'm going crazy.

Oh, God! God. That's gross.

You have awakened Sam Sharpe.

Don't move. Come on. If
you care at all for this minute,

for this car, for me at all,
do not move your hand.

My God, I can't do this.

I want you to live with me
in New York City.

No. That's impossible.

Say yes to me! I live here.

Come on.

Leaving my family is like...

is like... renouncing my citizenship...

or-or moving to Russia...

or becoming Protestant. No.

Sonny, stop the car. Stop the car.

Sam, what are you doing?

Get out of the car. Come on. Come on.

Sam, we're on the bridge. Come on.

Where are we going?

Trust me.

It's cold out here. Renata,

when I was eight years old...

I used to stare at the
photo of my grandfather,

who was a general in Lithuania.

What are you talk... We were
talking about me back... Wait, wait...

Wait, wait, wait. Wait. I used
to... I used to say to myself:

"Sam, the blood of this powerful, virile
man is coursing through your veins."

And I would get so, I would... I would get...

I would run out of the room,
dying to do something decisive.

And I would say, "Mommy, Mommy! Did I really
suck on your tits when I was a little boy?"

Sa... Sam! What are you talking about?

Oh! I'm freezing. Let's go back
in the car. What am I talkin' about?

I'm trying to tell you that from
the first minute I ever saw you...

Renata, look at you.

Look at you.

Everything you do.

The way you eat your food.

The way... The way you...
you put on your shoes.

The way your eyes are looking at
my mouth when I'm talking to you.

Renata, you name anything you do.

The way you hug your mother.

The way you talk to your family.

You move me.

Give me the phone.

Sonny! Give me the phone.

What're you doing?

I'm dialing my accountant's number.

I'm gonna look at the Charles
River every day for the rest of my life.

And when he asks me why am I moving
my business from New York to Boston,

I'll be able to say to him:

"Cause, man, I is in love."

Mar, give me the needle-nose again.

Yeah. Coming up.

He lives in New York City. I'm glad too.

I'll get it.

Imagine that guy on a day-to-day basis?

Marilyn Bella? Oh, my word!

Oh, will you look at this!

Look what Sam sent.
Look at that. Is he darling?

Oh, I've never seen so many flowers
in my life. Are those American Beauties?

I don't know why
I'm putting in this fixture?

I'm 140 years old today.

You'd think my goddamn son,
your husband, would help out.

He had to go watch that plumber.

I don't look that old, do
I? No. You look great, Dad.

Thanks, honey. So wait a minute.
Renata really likes this guy?

Likes him? She's almost as
enthused as your mother-in-law.

Ta-da.

I told you, Marilyn. Don't do
anything fancy for my birthday.

Oh, I suppose you think
this cake is for you, huh?

It's not for you.

Can't you just one time accept something
without spoiling it with your thinking?

There was never a day I could
or would court you like that.

All I wanted to do was...

sit on the stoop
and hold your hand.Yeah. Me too.

Isn't it funny? On the one lousy day
you wanna put a gun in your mouth,

everybody wants to come over to celebrate.

Yeah, that's 'cause we love you.

- You want some coffee, baby?
- Renata,

I want you to try the greatest
chocolate cake you've ever eaten.

Sam, don't believe anything he says.

How about you, Sam?
More coffee? Thank you very much.

Marilyn,
where's the bananas? Bananas. You got it.

Tony, Gail... go. Don't have eat it yet.

Don't eat it? Okay, okay, okay.

I was going to get it myself.
Sit down, Marilyn, sit. I am.

- Where's the cream?
- The cream. Whoa, whoa, whoa!

You ruined it. You ruined it. She ate it.

She ate it. She ate it.

Sam, you got presents. Okay, Sam.

I got it.

Uh, Joe...

Why don't you, uh, answer the doorbell? Ma!

Why?

I think it's right that
you answer your doorbell.

All right. What's going on?

Just do it, Dad. Answer the door.

What's goin' on? You'll see.

What's up?

Hello. You are Mr. Joe Bella?

That's me.

Look at his face!

Come on, Joe. Come on!

Ooh! That's it!

Oh, whoa, whoa! Way to go!

Yeah, you! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!

Come on, keep up. Come on! Ho!

Thanks a lot.

Do you hear that? It sounds Byzantine.

Jan. Let me put it inside
you right now, real fast.

Peter. Cut it out.

Come on. Come on!

Let's go behind that bush.
Oh, please. Come on, just feel it.

Come on, just give it a touch.

Peter, please. This is
a front lawn in America.

They're dancing. They can't be dancing.

- Jan!
- Hi!

Oh, my God. I was dying
for you to come home.

Me too. You look gorgeous.

Jan, baby! Peter!

Ah! ¿Qué pasa, Dad? Peter! Peter!

Hey, bellaBella.

Mom, who's the naked lady?

Hey, Sam. Sam, Sam, come on.
I want to introduce you to my kid.

Who's the guy?

My new boyfriend.

No, no. Come on. Who's he really?

I'm with him.

Oh, my God. Look at her, Ma.
She's not even suntanned, huh?

She probably sat in museums all day.

Sam, come here.

Sam, this is my sister Jan.

And this is her husband Peter.

How are ya? This is Sam Sharpe.

I hope you both have a
lifetime of great sex and joy.

Well, that's what it's all about, isn't it?

Hey, Miss!

Why don't we have
something to eat? I'm starving.

Let's all go to the kitchen and sing
"Happy Birthday" to Daddy again.

No, for chrissake, lay off
with the birthday. No more.

Wait for us, okay? We'll wait.

Don't give me the birthday, okay?

Oh, thank you, I will.
That's sweet. Bye-bye!

Why didn't you ask your friend
to join us for cake?

Oh, no, no. She wouldn't want to
stay here with a bunch of strangers.

She'd rather go home, you know,
with her tits full of cash.

Ha.

She's married. She's
dyin' to get out of here.

Joe! Yeah!

She said "Happy birthday" in Lithuanian!

So, we'll be in here.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

I saw you come home last night.

Jim!

I need you!

God, I need you.Jim.

Remember how you, uh,
needed me at your wedding,

and you couldn't explain it?

Yeah.

You really missed me, didn't you?

I met a woman. She's phenomenal.

She asked me to marry her.

I want you there. Next, uh, Thursday.

You have to be there.

How could you meet a woman?
I've been away only... A bar.

- A bar?
- Yeah.

And you're gonna marry someone
you met in a bar?

For chrissakes,
look at me, Jim. Please come to my wedding.

Please.

Mmm.

That was pretty good. Joe! Joe.
Listen. Listen,

I wish you could've met my father. He
wasn't a very good skater, but he loved ice.

I wish I could've met your father.

Wait till you see what these
Olympic beauties can do.

Sam, you shouldn't have done all this.

Hey, come on. I'm all alone out here!

Sonny! Sonny! Pick up the volume.

Ha! It's wonderful out
there. It's wonderful.

Come on, Joe. Come
on, baby. It's you and me.

- What? What? What?
- Renata! Come on!

Hey, what is this?

You told me you were a big
hockey star in high school.

Field hockey. Oh!

Look at this. Mmm.

- Where does Sam get his money?
- Sam is an incredible salesman, haven't you heard?

He's selling real estate on the moon now.

Hey, Joe. You ready
to whip the ladies around?

Come on. Here we come. Come on.

Jan! You ready for a little whipping? Sam!

Whoo-hoo-hoo.

Peter. What?

God, you just say anything to
anyone? Come on, she's your sister.

Come on, Joe. I'll-I'll do it myself,
Marilyn.

Good style, Joe.

Good style, eh? Right.

Here's my imitation of Joe.

Hey, hey! What? Oh!

Come here. Come here,
you guys. Marilyn. Marilyn!

Come on, take it, take it. There you go.

Now. Now you're gonna
go around slow. Come on.

Now, that's good. Now, I'm gonna take it
real easy with you.

Go ahead. Come on. Go.

Go, go! See?

Easy.

- Come on!
- Jan, come over here!

Yeah. Oh, man! Drugs!

- Do you want a drink?
- Keep going. Keep going. That's it.

Marilyn's down. Marilyn!

First aid. First aid!

Are you all right? You sure? You all right?

What do you think? About what?

You haven't told me what you think.

You used to talk about having a job, but...

I'm asking how you feel
about Sam. What do you think?

I think you should take it slow. I thought
you were supposed to be selling condos by now.

And what are you doing
that's so goddamn important?

At least I'm worried about
my future, not avoiding it.

Oh, give me a break. You're so stuck here.

Me? Ha! Your feet are nailed
to the fucking kitchen floor.

You don't do anything without
Daddy's permission. Or is it Sam's now?

I'm mean, at least I...
I... What? Have Peter?

Or is it Jim?

I saw you this morning.

I'm just asking you to give me and
Sam the same kind of consideration...

you give a neighbor. Come on, Renata.

I mean, you hardly know the guy.

I mean, for chrissakes, he
puts money in women's breasts.

Okay, fine.

You can just screw
off, okay? Just screw off.

Oh, yeah, right. You're just pissed
off I went on my honeymoon...

instead of staying and taking
care of your stupid broken heart.

Oh, yeah. You're getting real crazy,
Renata.

Real crazy. Just keep believing
that one. That's right.

Hey!

He makes her happy. Can't you see that?

Marilyn, lookin' good.

Sam, Ma. Watch me.

Renata. Yeah, you're great.

Watch this! Yeah, watch this.

Mom. Dad.

Jesus, what's going on?

What's the matter? Huh?

I'm sorry to wake you, but... I
cannot sleep unless I say the following.

Uh, then say it, then.

Does anyone care...

that Renata's spending
day and night with some bozo?

Renata doesn't think he's a bozo.

Ma! We don't know a thing about
this guy, do we? Do you, Dad?

No. Uh, no, not really.

He could be a criminal.

Oh! No. I should know more about him.

We should. We all should.

And why is he living with us? He's not
living with us.

What do you mean, he's not
living with us? Is he here? He's here.

Do I see him in bed or not? He's visiting.

Well, okay. Technically he's not living
with us, but he's here. He's staying here.

That's what she's asking us.
Is that what you're asking?

Exactly. He's living with us
for some weird reason.

Hey, I think we should
just stay out of it. Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

Marilyn...

I mean, goddamn it, he's been with
us long enough. Enough is enough.

I'm sick and goddamned tired of-of
smelling smoke and-and drinking vodka.

I'm sick of it. Sick, sick! I'm sick of it!

That's what I am.

Janny, she's awfully happy.

Come on! Come on! Ho!

Hey. Oh! Ow!

Oh! Whiplash! Ow, whiplash!

Come on, pull over.
Let me see your license!

Come on. Come on, out! Daddy, he's
more excited about this wedding than anyone.

Crazy wedding, crazy wedding.

All my instincts tell me, "Take this kitten
aside and say, '‘What's your rush?'"

Well, sometimes people know. They
just know like that, Dad. They're in love.

I'm glad you're
so open-minded, Jan. Peter, come on!

Listen, Renata.

Let's forget about the other day, okay?

I overreacted. I'm sorry.

I was a real bitch.
I just want you to be happy.

And you're right. No. I
understand your concerns. I do.

I'm gonna cool my jets with Sam.

We are gathered here
to unite in holy wedlock...

Jim Redstone and Honey Beach.

Do you, Jim Redstone, take Honey Beach...

for your lawful wedded wife?

To love, to honor and to
cherish all the days of your life?

I do.

Uh, do you, Honey Beach,
uh, take Jim Redstone...

I, Sam Sharpe, take Renata Bella...

to be my lawful wedded wife.

To love and to honor... Stop it!

and to cherish
all the days of my life. That's not funny.

- Say the vows to me.
- Come on. I do.

Say it, Renata. Leave me alone.

I, Jim Redstone... I, Jim Redstone...

take thee, Honey Beach... take
thee, Honey Beach...

to be my lawful wedded bride.

I, Renata Bella, take Sam Sharpe...

Sam!

This is not a fun game.

And now you, Honey,

repeat after me.

I, Honey Beach... I, Honey Beach...

I, Renata Bella,

take Sam Sharpe...

to be my lawful wedded husband.
My lawful wedded husband.

To love, honor and cherish...

all the days of my life?

Then may God bless you both.

And I now pronounce you man and wife.

I would like to propose a toast.

A toast.

Those of you who know me
even a little bit by now...

aren't gonna be surprised to hear
that I would like to make a toast...

to the consummate happiness
of Jim and Honey.

Hear, hear. Hear, hear.

Jim is a heck of a guy.

I don't know him well myself,

but could tell by the
way Jan is sweet on him...

that he must be one heck of a swell guy.

And, Honey...

Well, I don't need to say
a lot about Honey.

We did get a chance to
get acquainted a little bit...

in the men's room a few minutes ago.

Just kidding. Just kidding.

All right, all kidding
aside, to Jim and Honey.

Hear, hear.Jim.

Now don't finish. Don't finish.

Just leave a little bit.

Um...

Inspired by the great happiness
and joy that I see around us,

by the shining example of Mr. Joe
Bella and his lovely wife Marilyn,

by darling Jan, their daughter,

and her lovely husband Peter,

I would like to take this opportunity...

to announce the engagement...

Miss Renata Bella to Sam Sharpe IV.

Oh, yeah!

There is an old Lithuanian proverb.

It goes...

Roughly translated that means,

"Dogs can't make their dreams
come true, so people have to."

And I just did.

Oh, wow.

Congratulations. Congratulations to you.

Come on, once around... for the bride.

It's a fertility rite.

Eggs, bread...

They're dancing with genitals.

Oh, come on, Joe. They are not.

Look at that car.

I can't believe all this.

I mean, look at it.

It's like he's purchasing her.

How can she do that? Dad.

Look, I'm old-fashioned,

and I'm as sexist as the next guy,

but, Christ, I have always
treated your mother as an equal.

Dad, we've all got to let Renata
live her own life now, all right?

Such a nice ceremony.Oh.

Renata, you look beautiful. Thank you.

I've been waiting for this dance...

for over a quarter of a century.

Ho. Ho!

Hello. Hello. Hi. Come on in.

Everybody, come on in.

Hi. Yeah, come on down front,
you little guys.

Is that a rocket in your pocket,
or are you just happy to see me?

Um... I...

I'm overwhelmed.

I... I am standing here
in front of this microphone,

and I'm... I'm overwhelmed.

I'm overwhelmed by my beautiful bride.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

And I'm overwhelmed by my beautiful
new mother-in-law Marilyn Bella.

And I'm... I'm overwhelmed
by everybody. I am...

Really. Every single person
in this room is...

I-I...

You are love.

You are love embodied
in great-looking outfits.

Give yourself a big round of applause.

Come on, really. Come on.

Everybody!

Yeah!

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

There is one person here who is Mr. Love.

I'm not talking about dollars and cents...

when I say that he is the richest man...

in this room.

He is the richest in this room
because of what is in his heart.

You know who I'm talking about.

Let's have a round
of applause for the big guy,

Mr. Joe "head of the family" Bella.

Joe! Come on up.

Joe, come on.

Joe, come on up! Joe! Joe! Joe!

Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe!

All right. Do it, Daddy!

All right, all right. Uh...

I'd just like to say that...

Excuse me.

Sorry.

I'd like to sing this song to Renata.

But, Sam, you should
listen carefully to it...

because for some reason, Renata,

after meeting Sam, you were
always humming this song.

I mean, for some reason.

It's been in the air since you two met.

I know what it is.

♪ Fly me to the moon

♪ And let me play among the stars

♪ Let me see what spring is like
on Jupiter and Mars

♪ In other words

♪ Hold my hand

♪ In other words

♪ Baby, kiss me

♪ Fill my heart with song

♪ And let me sing forevermore

♪ You are all I long for

♪ All I worship and adore

♪ In other words

♪ Please be true

♪ In other words

♪ I love you

Yeah! Whoo!

Come on! Come on.

Lookin' good, girl.

Oh, Renata...
Renata, please put your coat on.

Keep it closed. No peeking.

That's it. Here we go.

And a drumroll, please,
ladies and gentlemen.

Hey! Hey, hey, hey.

Do you like it? It's a pottery wheel.

Look at this!

Isn't it great? Very few on the market.
Very...

Hey! Hey, you're getting to be an expert.

What is that, a flower?

No, it's, uh... It's, uh,
off-center a little bit.

It's kind of an abstract.

Marilyn. Thank you.

From Renata and myself. Hope you like that.

Oh, my God, will you look at this?

Oh, you kids are just going crazy.

We really are, Ma.Oh, they're beautiful.

We're just stark raving mad.

You guys are just really too much.

It's so extravagant. Ma, let me see.

Oh, my... Sam. I mean, we have...
Look at these rocks.

Oh, Daddy, this is so beautiful.Gorgeous.

I'm not sure I want to be
a locations analyst. Lot of money.

More money than you ever
dreamed of in your life.

Isn't that right?

It's certainly a very generous offer.

Come on. Why don't you take it?

It's awful. You don't even know what it is.

How can you evaluate it seriously, for one?

Daddy? Daddy, what do you think?

Come on, why don't you
give 'em a try? Try it out.

I can quit. Sam, I can quit, right?

Anytime. This is America.
What do you think?

Joe. Look at this.

People used to have to...

Hi.Hi. Where's Jan?

Upstairs, I think.Thanks.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. It's the refrigerator.

A lot of cashola.

VCRs, uh, CDs.

Digital TVs.God, Peter...

Porsches, shih tzus.

Guess how much.

Wrong. Whatever you just thought,

it's twice what you just thought.

He threw me a bonus.

How much of a bonus?

Come on. Get it with your mouth.

You know you want to. Come on!

Oh, God. It's getting hard
to separate you...

from your professional life.

Shit! What the hell was that?

Wonderful. Terrific.

Ma? Ma, you all right?

I'm gonna put a bomb under your
father's chair and I'm gonna light it.

He just sits there in that robe.

All day.

All night. Ma, he's resting.

Resting? Hey, You want to talk about work?

Take a look at this place.

I mean, it's making beds,
hanging up clothes,

dusting, mopping, cooking, doing windows.

I mean, what is this supposed to
be, the thrill of my lifetime? Shit!

Ma, calm yourself. Oh, no, no.
I'm sick of it.

We were gonna travel. We
were gonna go deep-sea fishing.

I was going to learn Italian.

I decided what I really want to do.

I want to build a boat, paint
it, put it to sea and die on it.

Go take a flying leap.

What are you doing, sleeping
at 12:00 in the afternoon?

Will you tell me that?

I'm trying to daydream, Marilyn.

Now why don't you leave me alone?

Ever since I retired,
you can't take it, can you?

Oh!

Well, I'll be at my pregnant
daughter's if anyone cares.

Dad?

Nice view, huh? Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

You know, your mother,
she doesn't understand.

I just wanna slow it down.

Do nothing.

Sam could never stop working.
Never. It worries me.

I... I wish Sam was more like you.

I wish he could just relax.

You stopped working 'cause you wanted to.

Now when you were Sam's age,
you worked all hours too.

Of course I worked all hours.

- I had you.
- I had Tony.

Honey cakes, your big daddy's home.

There he is. Throw the turkey
in the oven and bend over.

Hi, Sam.

Dad!

Hey. I was just thinking of you.

Gotta go.

Oh. Don't go.

Hey, Joe, don't go home yet. Please.

I need your help on
something. I need your advice.

Okay? Take just a minute.

Come over here. Take a look at this.

Now, which do you like better,

the blue or the red?

I do too. Yeah, this one
is way too provocative.

Now first off, you start the thing
off with a goddamn question.

If I were sent a brochure...

which I got a shitload at work every day...

and it started with a question,

I'd say they're assholes.

They're being provocative
where I want safe.

They're asking questions
where I want answers.

Really. Fuck 'em. I'd put it in the basket.

Renata, your father is one smart cookie.

No one has to tell me that.

One smart cookie.

What was that word that you just used?

Provocative? Provocative, right.

Mr. Bull's-eye.

- You picked the blue, right, Joe?
- Yeah. The blue.

Okay. Okay. I'm going with the red.

See, I'm going for the new breed.

I'm going for the people
who want provocative.

Thank you, Joe. I really
appreciate it very much.

You've been very helpful.

If you need an old fart, give me a call.

See you later, Joe.

Old fart.

Daddy, can I... can I talk to you?

Don't be late
for your grandmother's memorial.Okay.

Bye, sweetie.

Why...

Wh-What did you just say? What?

You trapped him.

- I did not.
- Why'd you talk to him like that?

Why did... Why did you trick him like that?

I asked his opinion because I value it.

No, Sam. Can't you be
sensitive to another person?

Don't you notice what he's going through?

I think you're underestimating your father.

Jesus, back off a little.
I'm right on this.

Honey, I think you'd better get dressed.

We're getting late.

♪ Oh, Mamma

♪ Mamma

Wow.

All right, let's all enjoy ourselves.

I like your father.

That was nice, Dad.

Thanks, Peter.

That was great, Daddy.

There's a song in Lithuanian
like that. That honors the mother.

Joe, that was magnificent.
That was really magnificent.

I don't want to hear that.
Okay? But thanks, Sam.

I'm not kidding. It was magnificent.

Sam, cut it out.

What the hell is he gonna do,
make a speech now?

It's not appropriate here, Renata.

Hello. Hello.

Greetings. Can you hear me?

Can you hear...

Sam, what are you doing?

Um, I'm gonna sing a Lithuanian
song I know about motherhood.

Oh, I wish you wouldn't.

Um, you know,

the Bellas are a funny group,

and they're very funny about
the memory of their mother.

Don't sing. Please don't.

This is a song about a woman
who is completely devoted to her son.

Everything she does, every action...

you know, all the cooking
and cleaning, everything...

is done for her son, who
is... who is going on a journey.

It's really... Yes, it sounds like
a wonderful song, but...

We'd like to hear it
sometime, just not today.

No, you listen and you tell me
after if you think I was wrong, okay?

Sam, um, I have
the microphone in my hand...

because I can't seem to reach you.

And I know it's my fault because I probably
sound as if I'm asking you not to sing.

What I'm actually doing, Sam,

is I'm telling you you can't.

You cannot do it. Marilyn, I think
this song...

Let me see what's going on,
Daddy. I wanna talk to Sam alone.

Give me the microphone
and go to your seat...

and sit next to Renata where you belong.

Marilyn, I want to sing
a song about motherhood.

Over my dead body, okay?
Now go sit down. I know how you feel.

I really do. Give this to me right now.

I'm gonna sing this song, and I
know in my heart this is the right place.

It is totally the wrong place, and you
are the wrong person to sing today.

Now you have had free reign over us,

but I'm telling you, as
of this moment, it's over.

I will kill you before
I let you sing that song...

and upset my husband and his family.

Oh, go ahead. I'll kill you.

Is that right? That's damn right.

Marilyn, I don't believe that you
really mean that. I certainly do mean it.

Sam, stop it! Wait... I just...

Look... Daddy, unplug this
damn thing, please.

All right, I have it.
I have it. Take it easy.

Take it easy. My God.

Sam...

You're tearing us all apart.

Oh, God.

Renata,

please forgive me.

I know you want me to leave you alone.

I know that.

I know you want to watch this, but I...

I have this...

I have this really bad feeling that, uh,

if I walk out of the room you're
gonna decide not to forgive me.

I keep thinking that if I just you know,
don't move and stay where I am, I'll...

I'll think of something.

You know, I'll... I'll just... I'll
get another chance with you.

I don't know...

I don't know shit.

Okay. Okay.

There.

Now you can...

Now you can watch it and
you don't have to look up at me.

Is that you?

That's me.

That's me.

My son's gonna have your spirit.

There's Jan.

And Jan's fire.

Playing with Daddy.

Renata, no one can tear your family apart.

I hope he'll have my father's goodness...

and my mother's wisdom.

He will.

He will.

We're going to have
a beautiful baby, aren't we?

It's a girl!

I can't believe it.

Is she okay, Sam? I didn't think
I could make her.

Is she okay? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

She's fine.

Oh, baby. Hi, Ma.

Are you okay? Oh, I'm pretty tired.

She's beautiful. God bless you.

I'm so happy to see all of you.

She's got your eyes...
She looks just like you. Not really, Daddy.

Look at the fingers.

So beautiful.

Marilyn,

about what happened
at the memorial yesterday...

Oh, no, no. That was my fault.
You were just being enthusiastic.

Sam. Sam, let's put all that behind us.

We got good reason to look ahead.

I hired the band for just 10 minutes.

I thought, what the hell, you know?

Here, come over here.

I wanna... I wanna form a ring
of love around the baby, okay?

Okay, Joe? Here...

Here, you-you put your left hand
on Renata. That's right. Here we go.

Peter, take your dad's hand.

And Jan... That's it. Oh! Oh, God.

That's all right. That's okay.
Jan, take Peter's hand.

Marilyn, you can take
Tony's hand. That's it. That's it.

Gail, take... There
you go. That's it, honey.

Thank you very much. And now Marilyn.

Perfect.

This is the song
I wanted to sing yesterday.

I know. I feel the same way. No, no, no...

With the one child we only have
one option. You have several options.

Marilyn... Marilyn, shut up
those babies, all right?

Listen. Listen. All we have to get...

Excuse me. All we have to get...

All we have to get is a baptism date.

Now, we should be capable of doing that.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

I want Jan to be godmother,

and I would think it would be an honor...

I mean, I want Tony to be godfather.

And I'd like to add that Sam
here is being pretty terrific.

Hell, he has friends of his own. Okay.

So he's quite happy that Tony be godfather.

Why do you have to have the baptism...

on the first day that we are going away...

- on our very first vacation in 12 years?
- Because...

My parents are really not
going to understand...

how their granddaughter is born...

and is not baptized on a preordained date...

Sam... that has been followed...

- in Lithuanian tradition for all of their lives.
- Sam.

They're really not
going to understand why... Excuse me.

Sam... Sam, what, uh...

I don't want to be rude,
but your parents are dead.

Exactly.
That's exactly the point. The bottom line is,

Tony will not give up shit to be there.

The bottom line is,

is that you would rather follow
some absolutely bullshit tradition...

rather than think about my
happiness, Gail's or Mikey's.

Okay, fuck you, Tony. That's the bottom line.

Don't you ever say that to me again.

Joe, do something.

There's a baptism and there's a date.

You are the godmother
and you are the godfather.

I hope you can fucking attend.

Jan, you don't suddenly
have to leave town, do you?

You are such a selfish bitch.

I can't believe what a selfish...
Oh, God, I...

- Hey...
- That's it! That's it!

Now the end. Done.

It's finished.

I want everyone out. Everyone.

You okay? Yeah, I'm fine.

Now Tony... and Gail,

just go to your car and go home.

You did nothing wrong.

And, Jan, Peter,

go to your room, please.

Joe, maybe this
isn't the best time... Marilyn, please.

Don't you start. I know what I'm doing.

Joe, uh...

If it's a question of financial loss,

I'd be happy to make up
anything Tony feels...

Sam, I don't want to discuss it further.

Renata, I want you to ask Sam,
because he's your husband...

Ask him to wait in the car for you.

Why are you acting like this, Daddy?

Renata, please.

Okay, Sam, will you please
go wait in the car for me?

What is this, Ma?

Renata,

I'm gonna say something for the first time
in my life without consulting your mother,

but I think she's gonna
very much agree with me.

Renata, Sam's a wonderful man.

He's a generous and kind man.

But he's killing us.

He's killing us.

Is it true, Marilyn?

He means so well.

Marilyn, is it true?

Yeah.

How can...

How can you say that about Sam?

He has done nothing
but great, great things... Renata...

for this family.

Now, look, I hate to say this,

but I'm more afraid of
what will happen if I don't.

Now, you and the baby,

you're always forever welcome here,

but I don't want Sam in this house again.

At least, you know, not until
we all get control of ourselves.

See, I simply don't know what else to do.

I'm sorry.

Well, why don't you just get
a gun and blow my head off?

'Cause if Sam's not welcome
here, I'm not welcome here.

My baby.

In fact,

why don't you just douse the
place in kerosene and blow it up?

Oh. And do me a favor.

Do not come to the baptism.

You're not welcome.

- Renata, wait.
- No! You wait!

That man... I know he's different.

I love that he's different.

I love that he flatters me and he flatters
Mom and Gail and Tony and Jan and you.

Hell, Peter copies him.

You're impressed by him.

So what, he gives gifts?
Big deal he's arrogant.

Why shouldn't he be? He's remarkable!

This is my adventure, Dad,
my goddamn adventure.

If you don't get it, well, I'm sorry.

I take it back. I'm not sorry.

No way!

Once I thought... no, once I wished...

that my parents would drive
off the road in their car and die.

'Cause then I'd be different.

Those are your parents, Renata.

Your irreplaceable parents.
Don't ever talk like that.

Okay, Sam.

I'm sorry. It's okay. It's all right.

Drop it like that...

It's all right.

I've got it. I've got it.

Renata? We're here.

Renata?

Come on.

Hello, Sam. This is the godmother.

...godmother or what?

It's them.

That's my family.

Jan, Tony. Oh, Tony. Tony.

You're supposed to be up
here. Tony, Jan. Get up there.

Sorry, Dad. Yeah, yeah.
Button your coat. Button it.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Just take the cap off. Remove the cap.

Yes. They pour water on her forehead.

Sam...

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God. Sam...

Lift his head. Get an ambulance.

Sam.

So, Mom, butter's got
35 milligrams of cholesterol.

What's that, per ounce?

No, that's one tablespoon.

So with cholesterol deposits in the
arteries, definitely no butter for Sam.

Yeah, but turkey is great, isn't it?

Yeah, but dark meat is
saturated with double fat proteins.

Okay, we'll give Sam
all the white meat.Right.

You know, maybe we
shouldn't even serve wine.

I'm shocked by every person in this house.

Mom? Mom, I know it'd be
better to clear a path to the back.

It'd be longer that way,

and those extreme swings in temperature...

that can cause a real shock the
circulatory system of a heart patient, so...

Well, it's safer to stay with the
front then, I think. Yeah, I think so.

Christ! You've all gone nuts.

Sam comes up the front walk,

and if he wants to go out and
make a fucking snowman, he'll do it.

If he wants to smoke a pack of cigarettes,

he'll smoke a pack of cigarettes.

Dad, he'd die if he smoked. Just die.

Think of Renata, Joe.Yeah.

On the tree. No, really, Dad.

Normally a guy wants to jump out a
window, okay, but this is different now.

It's kinder to let the man be a free man.

Just think about that.

Answer the door.

Hey, doll.Hi.

He's here.

He's doing fine... Hi, Ma.Hi, darling.

Although his bronchial tubes
suddenly restricted,

but his inhaler
regulated him immediately. Thank God.

Merry Christmas!

Merry, merry.

- Merry Christmas, Sam.
- Merry Christmas to you.

Are we glad to see you.

You look fabulous. You look wonderful.

You look hot.

We sure are glad to see you.

Sam, how are you? I'm great. How are you?

- Everyone, move away.
- Merry Christmas, Sam.

Jesus Christ, give him some air to breathe.

Yeah, he's right. Come on. Why don't you all
go in the house?

Let's go have some dinner. Come on.

Be careful. Tony!

Help your sister.

You okay, buddy?

In family paradise.

Oh, that's so good, isn't it?

Okay.

Okay.

Look at your aunt.

Not the whipped, Ma. The roasted.

Thank you.

Sam? Sam, there's really good meat up here.

No, no, it's okay. I tried the
white. I want some dark now.

Mmm. This is fabulous.

Sam, they're all on the attack
because you're eating dark meat.

Aaah. I say, live your life,

and that doesn't mean
let me live it for you. Thank you very much.

I just want to try a little...

of Marilyn's fabulous turkey.

I'm not gonna make a life habit of it.

Recognize anything?

That's the bowl. That's the bowl!

You made it!

On the thing. You made it.
You did it. I can't believe it!

I'm so proud of you. Well, you know,
it's slightly off-center.

I think it's fantastic. Look at that.

It's got lines and everything.
It's built like a brick shithouse.

Look at that.

It took me about
eight and a half days to make.

Mmm.

I love this. It's like...
It's got fruit in it.

It's got utilitarian uses.

And, Marilyn, you did everything like, uh...

You're using it in fruit. You
could use it with anything, right?

Excuse me.

Ren.

Renata. Oh, God.

Renata.

I'm sorry.

I'm afraid to make love to you.

I'm afraid you'll die in my
arms, and you're smoking.

No!

What are you trying to do, die?

You rush into my life
like a beautiful flash of light,

and then just as suddenly go pfft!

- Vanish.
- I am not going to die on you, Renata.

I'm living for the first time in my life.

I could kick death in the teeth.

I'd spit in its face, Renata.

If death had hands, I'd chop them off.

If death had eyes, I'd burn
them out of its sockets for you.

If death had a liver, I'd
bite it out with my teeth...

and stomp on it.

You would, huh? I would. I would.

And you know what else?

What else?

Come over here.

Come over here and sit on my lap.

No.

You come to me.

Okay.

And if death...

had a cock...

If death had a cock...

Hmm? Hmm?

You'd kick him in the balls.

And send him off squealing.

Here we go.

I can do it. I can do it.Okay.

Hey. Hey!

Hey, do you know we're gonna
skate out here together one day?

Yes, we are.

Yes, we are.

I'm gonna skate faster than anyone
has ever skated in the history...

of heart patients.

Here. Here, here, here, here. Let's not break
any records yet.

There we go. There we go.

So, what do you want to see?

My figure eights?

My spin? One leg?

On one leg with a spin? What?

You see that hole out there in the ice?

It's like... It's like a fishing hole.

It's like a pile of ice in
the... - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I see it. Go straight out there,

and then come right back.

Yeah, sure.

Shh.

Not bad!

Not bad! Sam!

Are you crazy?

Let's go back. I've had enough.

No, no, no. One more.

The ice boat.

Okay, you got it.

Hey, you.

Watch me go backwards.

Backwards!

Sam.

Sam?

Sam?

Sam?

Sam? Sam?

Sam.

Sam!

Sam!

No!

Oh, no.

God, no!

No! No!

No!

No!

Jan.

I had the greatest time of my life.

The greatest time ever.

It's sleepy time.

It's sleepy time for you.

I used to love watching you
sleep when you were that age.

Why don't you come and lie down
with Dad and me a few minutes?

Okay? You're gonna need
your strength today.

Hi, doll.

You gonna lie down?

Come on, baby.

I love you guys.

One for the big guy.

♪ Fly me to the moon

♪ Let me play among the stars

♪ And let me see what spring is like

♪ On Jupiter and Mars

♪ In other words

♪ Hold my hand

♪ In other words

♪ Baby, kiss me

♪ Fill my heart with song

♪ And let me sing forevermore

♪ You are all I long for

♪ All I worship and adore

♪ In other words

♪ Please be true

♪ In other words

♪ I love you

♪ Fill my heart with song

♪ Let me sing forevermore

♪ You are all I long for

♪ All I worship and adore

♪ In other words

♪ Please be true

♪ In other words

♪ In other words

♪ I love

♪ You