On the Line (2001) - full transcript

A young man meets a girl on a train, only to spend the rest of the movie trying to reunite with her (one of the love-at-first-sight things), aided by his best friend in a quest of posters and signs that soon gains public notice. Will he ever find his soul mate?

IT ALL STARTED
BECAUSE OF A GIRL AT A PARTY.

SPRING, 1994.

THAT WAS OUR BAND--
GRANITE.

WE WERE ALL ABOUT
THE ROCK.

I MEAN,
WE WERE HARDCORE.

GRANITE! GRANITE!

GRANITE! GRANITE!

AND THIS WAS
THE MOMENT.

MY BIG CHANCE TO IMPRESS
THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS.

KEV, I GOT A GREAT IDEA.
WHAT?

WHY DON'T WE JUST SING
THE BALLAD THAT I WROTE,



DEDICATE IT TO HER,

AND THEN WHEN IT'S OVER,
JUST ASK HER OUT.

COME ON, WHAT ARE YOU, STUPID?
SHE'S RIGHT THERE.

ALL RIGHT,
LET'S DO THE BALLAD.

I CAN DO THIS.

GRANITE!

YEAH, KEVIN,
YOU CAN DO IT.

COME ON, KEVIN.

DON'T BE SUCH A WUSS.
COME ON, JUST DO IT.

I DIDN'T DO IT.
I JUST FROZE.

COME ON, KEVIN,
DON'T BE A TULIP!

MY HEART
STARTED POUNDING.

MY PITS STARTED SWEATING.

AW...
I FELT NAKED UP THERE.



KEVIN.

KEVIN.
KEVIN!

WHAT IS IT?

I CAN'T
BELIEVE IT, MAN.

THAT STORY GETS FUNNIER
EVERY TIME I HEAR IT.

YEAH. THANKS
FOR THE SUPPORT.

MAN, COME ON. YOU KNOW
WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS?

I THINK IT'S A LACK
OF SELF-CONFIDENCE.

I MEAN, I KNOW YOU GO OUT
ON DATES AND EVERYTHING,

BUT I THINK WHEN YOU FIND
THE GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS,

YOU CAN'T SEAL
THE DEAL, YOU KNOW?

PICK THE FRUIT,
SPIT THE WAD.

YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M SAYING?

NO, I DON'T.

I THINK WHAT YOUR
FRIEND IS TRYING TO SAY

IS THAT YOU'RE SUFFERING
FROM A CLASSIC PSYCHOSOMATIC

COMMUNICATIVE
ANXIETY DISORDER.

BASICALLY, YOU MEET
THE RIGHT GIRL, YOU CHOKE.

THAT'S WHAT
I WAS SAYING.

DUDE, YOU GOT TO RELAX.

WATCH ME WORK.

FRENCH FRY?

FKR. HOW CAN I DIRECT
YOUR CALL?

HOLD, PLEASE.

YEAH. HAVE IT
UNDER CONTROL?

GOOD MORNING, MARGIE.

FKR. HOW CAN I DIRECT
YOUR CALL?

HOLD, PLEASE.
OK.

OOPS.

HEY, NATHAN,
HOW'S IT GOING?

I GOT TO SPEND ANOTHER
ONE OF MY REMAINING DAYS

IN THIS PURGATORY.

I GOT CATARACTS
THE SIZE OF CANTALOUPES,

AND I HAVEN'T HAD
A DECENT BOWEL MOVEMENT

SINCE THE REAGAN
ADMINISTRATION.

OK.

SO, ARE YOU EVER GOING TO
TELL ME ABOUT THAT BASEBALL?

NO.

COME ON, LUCILLE.

DON'T DIE ON ME NOW.

DADDY KNOWS
YOU'RE TIRED,

BUT DADDY ALSO KNOWS

YOU GOT ANOTHER FEW
IN YOU.

YES, YOU DO.

DO YOU REALLY THINK
THAT WORKS?

SOMETIMES,
BUT WHEN IT DOESN'T,

YOU GIVE HER
A LITTLE LOVE TAP.

UHH.

GOOD MORNING, JACKIE.

GOOD MORNING.

UH, GIBBONS?

I NEED YOU IN HERE,
PLEASE.

YOU'VE DONE
EXCELLENT WORK HERE,

AND NOW LET ME
ASK YOU A QUESTION.

WHAT DOES REEBOK
STAND FOR?

UM, I BELIEVE
THE REEBOK

IS A TYPE OF
AFRICAN GAZELLE.

NO.

REEBOK STANDS
FOR CREDIBILITY

AND PRESTIGE.

WE ARE GOING GLOBAL.

WHEATGRASS?
I'LL PASS.

REEBOK WANTS US TO DO

THEIR FEMALE 'TWEENS
FOOTWEAR CAMPAIGN.

'TWEENS?
'TWEENS, GIBBONS--

FOR FEMALES BETWEEN
THEIR ADOLESCENCE

AND TEEN YEARS.
GET WITH IT, GIBBONS.

OHH. JACKIE, COULD YOU COME IN
HERE, PLEASE?

MR. HIGGINS, THIS IS SUCH
A GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR ME.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
WELL, THEN DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

I MIGHT CHANGE MY MIND.
YOU WANTED TO SEE ME?

YES. HOW'S THE REEBOK
CAMPAIGN COMING ALONG?

EXCELLENT, SIR.

I HAVEN'T COMPLETED
THE CONCEPT YET,

BUT I'M CLOSE.

WELL, YOU JUST GOT
A LITTLE BIT CLOSER.

GIBBONS HERE IS JOINING
THE CREATIVE TEAM.

HMM.

OK, REEBOK.

ALL RIGHT.

WE HAVE 2 BABY CHICKENS,

AND THEY'RE BOTH
WEARING REEBOKS.

ONE IS GOING, "REE."

THE OTHER IS GOING, "BOK."

REEBOK, REEBOK.

THAT'S
MORONIC, MORONIC.

I GOT IT.

IMAGINE MY EXCITEMENT.

WAIT. OK.
PICTURE THIS.

YOU HAVE GIRLS
AT A PARTY,

GIRLS ON THE SOCCER FIELD,

GIRLS
AT A CONCERT

ALL WEARING REEBOK.

AND THE TAG LINE?

FOR GIRLS
WHO CHOOSE TO MOVE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I THINK
THE WHEATGRASS

HAS FINALLY GONE
TO HIGGINS' HEAD

FOR PUTTING YOU
ON THE TEAM.

YOU LIKED IT THAT MUCH?

LOOK, I'VE WORKED AT
THIS OFFICE FOR 5 YEARS.

I'VE GOT SENIORITY
ON YOU.

THIS SHOULD BE
MY ACCOUNT.

YOU DON'T LIKE ME
VERY MUCH, DO YOU?

BRILLIANT DEDUCTION,
SCOOBY.

NOW LET'S
GET BACK TO WORK

AND COME UP
WITH SOME GOOD IDEAS.

SORRY.

I CAN'T
NEXT TO YOU.

EXCUSE ME?

I'M SO TIRED
OF BEING ALONE

IS A GREAT
AL GREEN SONG,

BUT I CAN'T
GET NEXT TO YOU

SEEMS A LITTLE MORE
APPROPRIATE RIGHT NOW.

AND WHY'S THAT?

BECAUSE I CAN'T
GET NEXT TO YOU.

OH.

AHEM.

THANKS.

AHEM.

I ENJOYED
YOUR PERFORMANCE.

THANKS.

AL GREEN HELPS ME
CLEAR MY HEAD.

IT'S A MENTAL THING. YIKES.

I HEAR HE'S PLAYING AT
THE OPERA HOUSE IN 2 WEEKS.

MAYBE HE'S LOOKING
FOR AN OPENING ACT.

YOU LIKE
THE REVEREND?

MY MOM WAS LISTENING
TO LOVE AND HAPPINESS

WHEN SHE WAS
IN LABOR WITH ME.

I THINK HE'S...
DEFINITELY IN MY SOUL.

HA HA.

SO... WHAT DO YOU DO

BESIDES APPROACH
STRANGE MEN ON THE "L"?

I GO TO SCHOOL--
GRAD SCHOOL.

WHAT DO YOU STUDY?
ARCHEOLOGY.

ARCHEOLOGY.

WHAT DO YOU DO BESIDES

SERENADE STRANGE PEOPLE
ON THE "L"?

OH, WAIT.
WAIT, WAIT.

LET ME GUESS.

YOU ARE AN AD MAN.

NOW, HOW DID YOU
DO THAT?

IT'S STITCHED ON YOUR BAG.

HAVE YOU DONE ANYTHING
I MIGHT'VE SEEN?

I DON'T KNOW.
UH...

I HAD A HAND IN
THE POP SECRET POPCORN CAMPAIGN.

♪ BUTTER
MAKES IT BETTER, BABY ♪

THAT'S IT.
THAT'S ME.

I ACTUALLY WROTE THAT.

SO NOW WHEN I GO TO WRIGLEY
AND ROOT FOR THE CUBBIES,

I CAN LOOK UP AT THE BIG
POP SECRET BILLBOARD

AND THINK OF YOU.

YOU'RE A CUBS FAN?
HECK, YEAH. BORN AND RAISED.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
UM...

SO, TELL ME. TELL ME YOUR BEST
AND WORST CUB MOMENT.

BEST--
WHENEVER THEY WIN.

OF COURSE.

WORST--GAME 5
IN THE '84 PLAYOFFS.

THE GROUND BALL
WENT THROUGH DURHAM'S LEGS.

THAT IS THE WORST
MOMENT OF MY LIFE.

HORRIBLE.
I WAS SO DEPRESSED.

I DIDN'T EVEN GO TO SCHOOL
THE NEXT DAY.

I CRIED.

OK, MOST GUYS
WOULDN'T ADMIT THAT.

YEAH. I DON'T KNOW WHY
I JUST TOLD YOU THAT.

NEXT STOP, ADAMS--

ADAMS AND WABASH.

THAT'S MY STOP.

MINE, TOO.

AFTER YOU.

THANK YOU.

SO, TELL ME
SOMETHING

THAT YOU WOULD ONLY
TELL A STRANGER.

UH...WHOO.

I LIKE TO MAKE
PAPER AIRPLANES.

MY DAD'S A PILOT.

REALLY?

OH, WAIT. DO YOU HAVE
A PIECE OF PAPER?

YEAH, SURE.

WHAT, AM I GOING TO GET,
A LITTLE DEMONSTRATION?

UH-HUH.
A LITTLE DEMONSTRATION.

THANK YOU.

THAT'S
VERY IMPRESSIVE.

THANK YOU.
IT'S MY OWN DESIGN.

AH.

ALL RIGHT, THIS IS
MY FAVORITE SPOT.

SO, YOU'VE DONE THIS
BEFORE?

MANY TIMES.

YOU READY?

I GUESS.

HERE WE GO.

STRONG TAKEOFF.

SMOOTH FLIGHT.

EXCELLENT
PAPER AIRPLANE.

THANK YOU.

OH!
HA HA HA!

BUT I THINK YOUR LANDING
NEEDS A LITTLE WORK.

YEAH, A LITTLE.

DEFINITELY.

ALL RIGHT, DON'T THINK
YOU'RE GETTING OFF SO EASY.

IT'S YOUR TURN.

I DON'T KNOW.
UM...

LET'S SEE. UHH.

OK. YOU'RE TOTALLY
GOING TO THINK I'M LAME,

BUT I CAN NAME
ALL THE PRESIDENTS

IN ORDER.

WASHINGTON, ADAMS,
JEFFERSON, MADISON,

MONROE, ADAMS,
JACKSON, VAN BUREN,

HARRISON, TYLER, POLK,
TAYLOR, FILLMORE,

PIERCE, BUCHANAN,
LINCOLN, JOHNSON, GRANT,

HAYES, GARFIELD, ARTHUR,

CLEVELAND,
HARRISON...

McKINLEY,
ROOSEVELT, TAFT,

WILSON, HARDING, COOLIDGE,

HOOVER, ROOSEVELT, TRUMAN,

EISENHOWER,
KENNEDY, JOHNSON,

NIXON, FORD,
CARTER, REAGAN,

BUSH, CLINTON, BUSH.

WOW.
HA HA!

OK, I THINK WE'RE THE ONLY
2 PEOPLE IN THE WORLD

WHO CAN DO THAT
AT THE SAME TIME.

I THINK
YOU MAY BE RIGHT.

OK, THAT'S AMAZING.

UM...

I GOT TO CATCH
THE CONNECTING TRAIN.

RIGHT.

UM...

WELL, LISTEN...

IT WAS A PLEASURE...

COMMUTING WITH YOU.

YEAH, IT REALLY WAS.

WELL...

BYE.

HA HA!

YO, MAN, COME ON,
TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED.

YOU'RE SITTING ON THE TRAIN.
SHE STANDS UP.

DOOR'S OPEN.
SHE'S ABOUT TO GET OFF,

BUT SHE STOPS, RIGHT?

DID YOU SAY
SOMETHING TO HER?

I SAID IT WAS A PLEASURE
COMMUTING WITH HER.

"IT WAS A PLEASURE
COMMUTING WITH YOU?"

OH, THAT'S GREAT.
YOU COULDN'T SAY, LIKE--

NO NUMBER,
NO FINGERPRINTS,

NO PLACE OF BUSINESS?

OK, FINE.
I TANKED.

AGAIN?
MAN, YOU NEED SOME HELP.

YEAH.

YEAH!

COME ON! OW!
WHOO! MAN.

WHAT'S UP, GUYS?

HEY, THAT WAS HOT, MAN.

IT WAS GREAT.
IT WAS FANTASTIC.

IT STUNK. I MEAN I CAN'T
FREAKIN' BELIEVE THESE GUYS.

MAN, I MEAN, THE BAND
WAS JUST AWFUL.

DUDE, IT WASN'T THAT BAD.
COME ON, I WAS IN THE BAND.

YOU. YOU SHOULD'VE NEVER--
DON'T EVEN START THIS, MAN.

YOU SHOULD'VE NEVER
QUIT THE BAND.

GENTLEMEN, THIS IS
THE OLDEST ARGUMENT.

IT WAS
A HIGH SCHOOL BAND.

NO, IT WASN'T.
YOU KNOW WHAT IT WAS.

YEAH. IT WAS THE BEST
HIGH SCHOOL BAND EVER!

GRANITE! GRANITE!
GRANITE! GRANITE!

GIMME SOME! GIMME SOME!
GIMME SOME! GIMME SOME!

THE CHICKS WERE HOT, MAN.
THEY WERE GREAT.

YEAH. OH, MY GOSH.

IS THAT BRADY FREAKIN' FRANCES?

WHAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW HE WROTE
A COLUMN FOR THE POST?

NO.
OOH, THAT'S RIGHT. I FORGOT.

YOU JUST SKIP RIGHT
TO THE FAMILY CIRCUS.

HEY, FAMILY CIRCUS
IS A GOOD COMIC.

IT'S, LIKE, ONE SQUARE, AND THEN
YOU'RE DONE WITH IT, OK?

BRADY FRANCES--
NO, BRADY FRANCES--

THE GUY THAT KEVIN
SWOOPED IN ON HIS GIRL

BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL
PROM TIME, YOU REMEMBER?

OH, MY GOODNESS. THAT WAS
A FREAKIN' CLASSIC, MAN.

IT WAS A CALAMITY
IS WHAT IT WAS.

THAT'S NOT EXACTLY
WHAT HAPPENED.

AW, MAN.
THAT WAS 7 YEARS AGO.

I GOT ANOTHER SET,
GUYS, TO DO, SO...

HEY, PLAY
SOMETHING GOOD.

HAVE A GOOD SET.
OK.

HEY, LOOK, MAN,
LET'S FACE IT.

YOU'RE 24 YEARS OLD.
IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME

YOU EVER CHOKED
WITH A CHICK.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
YOU GOT A PROBLEM.

YEAH, BUT
THIS IS DIFFERENT.

I MEAN...

THIS GIRL WAS INCREDIBLE.
YEAH?

YOU KNOW, IT'S EMBARRASSING
WHEN EVERYONE KNOWS YOU

AS THE GUY
THAT ALWAYS CHOKES.

HEY, MAN, COME ON.
NOT EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.

2 MORE, PLEASE.

KEVIN...

THIS ONE'S FOR YOU.

HUH?

HMM...

UH...
NOW EVERYBODY KNOWS.

AW, MAN, YOU CAN
TRACK HER DOWN, YOU KNOW.

HOW?

I DON'T KNOW.
LOJACK.

YOU COULD, UM... RIDE THE TRAIN
EVERY DAY LOOKING FOR HER.

YOU COULD PUT UP POSTERS
ALL OVER TOWN. I DON'T KNOW.

YEAH. "SINGLE WHITE MALE
SEEKS COMMUTER ON TRAIN

TO SHARE
INTIMATE SECRETS."

YEAH, BUD,
THAT'S KIND OF COOL,

BUT I WAS THINKING
MORE LIKE,

"DOG WHO LOSES BONE

SEEKS TRAIN TRAMP."

BRAIN DAMAGE.

HEY, YOU.
YOU'RE BACK.

HEY.

SO, HOW WAS YOUR
WEEKEND IN CHICAGO, HMM?

MMM.
IT WAS FINE.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

SIT.

YOU JUST SPENT
THE WEEKEND

WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND
OF 3 YEARS,

WHO YOU HAVEN'T SEEN
IN OVER A MONTH.

THAT DESERVES
A "PHENOMENAL"

OR AT LEAST
AN "EXCEPTIONAL,"

BUT DEFINITELY NOT
JUST A "FINE."

WHAT IS UP?

I FOUND A GREAT APARTMENT
IN LAKEVIEW.

IT'S RIGHT BY WRIGLEY,

AND I CAN MOVE IN
RIGHT AFTER GRADUATION.

BUT I THOUGHT THAT...

THAT YOU AND PAUL WERE
GOING TO MOVE IN TOGETHER.

I DON'T KNOW, SAM.

EVERYTHING
IS SO DIFFERENT.

WHAT?

I MET A GUY
ON THE TRAIN.

YOU MET A GUY
ON THE TRAIN?

YES.
HE WAS SO CUTE,

AND HE WAS SO NICE.

AND HE TOTALLY
LISTENED TO ME.

UHH.

WE CONNECTED MORE
IN 5 MINUTES

THAN I HAVE WITH PAUL
OVER THE PAST YEAR.

HA HA!

ABBEY.
HA HA!

WELL, YOU ALREADY
KNOW JACKIE,

SO LET ME INTRODUCE THE NEW
MEMBER OF MY CREATIVE TEAM

KEVIN GIBBONS.

AND MAY I SAY
THAT MY TEAM

HAS COME UP
WITH A CAMPAIGN

THAT I FEEL
YOU WILL ALL AGREE

HAS UNIVERSAL APPEAL.

SO, WITHOUT
ANY FURTHER ADO,

ALLOW ME TO PRESENT...

AND THE TAG LINE IS...

"REEBOK--

STEP INTO THE FUTURE."

IT'S A LITTLE, UH, COLD.
HMM?

WE WERE HOPING FOR
SOMETHING MORE LIVELY,

WITH A LITTLE MORE DEPTH.

HUH.
ACTUALLY--

ACTUALLY,
WE TOTALLY AGREE.

THAT'S WHY I--WE
CAME UP WITH SOMETHING

SO FABULOUS.

DID WE?

WELL, I DON'T LIKE
SURPRISES, YOU KNOW.

MMM.

LET ME PRESENT TO YOU

WHAT WE BELIEVE WILL BE
REEBOK'S NEW CAMPAIGN.

AHEM.
GIRLS AT A PARTY,

GIRLS AT SCHOOL,

GIRLS AT A CONCERT,

GIRLS
AT A SOCCER FIELD--

ALL WEARING REEBOKS.

THE TAGLINE?

"FOR GIRLS
WHO CHOOSE TO MOVE."

BUT THAT'S--

THAT'S GREAT.

WHEN CAN YOU HAVE IT BY?

UH, KEVIN HERE COULD
MAKE COPIES OF THE MOCK-UPS

AND MESSENGER THEM
OVER TO YOU

BY THE END
OF THE BUSINESS DAY.

COULDN'T YOU, KEVIN?

SURE.

WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL.

PHENOMENAL WORK,
JACKIE.

WHY DIDN'T I SAY ANYTHING?

WHY DIDN'T I SAY ANYTHING?

I KNOW WHY.
I KNOW WHY.

IT'S BECAUSE
I'M AFRAID TO TAKE A CHANCE.

BECAUSE I'M AFRAID
TO TAKE A CHANCE.

I'M SITTING
ON THE SIDELINES

ALL MY LIFE.

WHY AM I SO SCARED?

ALWAYS AFRAID
TO TAKE A CHANCE.

OK, I'LL CHECK.

CHICAGO DAILY POST.
CAN I HELP YOU?

SURE. OK.

CHICAGO DAILY POST.
CAN I HELP YOU?

BRADY FRANCES'S DESK.

BRADY,
MY OFFICE.

THIS IS YOUR NEXT STORY.

IT'S A COMPELLING
HUMAN INTEREST PIECE.

BUT, SIR, I WANT
TO DO HARD NEWS.

UH-HUH.

AND I WANT A CLEAR
NASAL PASSAGE.

WE CAN'T ALWAYS GET
WHAT WE WANT.

UHH.
YOU KNOW...

I PUT YOU IN PERSONALS

BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE
ARE MISERABLE,

AND I THINK
YOU CAN RELATE, BRADY.

THE KID'S NAME
IS KEVIN GIBBONS.

KEVIN GIBBONS?

AH, WE CHECKED IT OUT.

HUH. I CAN'T.
I KNOW HIM.

SO?

LOOK, YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND.

I HAVE A HISTORY
WITH THIS GUY.

DUDE,
I'M TELLING YOU,

YOU ASK OUT A GIRL
LIKE KAYLA SANDERS,

AND YOU'RE SETTING YOURSELF
UP FOR REJECTION,

HUMILIATION, ALIENATION.

DON'T WORRY.
I'VE GOT DETERMINATION.

HEY, KAYLA.

BRADY FRANCES. WE'RE
IN FRENCH CLASS TOGETHER.

I'M THE ONE THAT
ALWAYS GETS NOSEBLEEDS.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO
TO THE PROM WITH ME?

HOLD ON A SECOND.

HEY, KEVIN.
HI.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO
TO THE PROM WITH ME?

SURE.
I'D LOVE TO.

SORRY.

I'M ALREADY GOING TO THE PROM
WITH KEVIN GIBBONS.

NO.

KEVIN GIBBONS.

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU HARBOR ANIMOSITY
TOWARDS THIS KEVIN

BECAUSE SOME GIRL WANTED
TO GO TO THE PROM WITH HIM

INSTEAD OF YOU?
WELL--

SPELLBINDING PITY,
BUT THE STORY'S STILL YOURS.

YES, SIR.

HEY, HEY, HEY, AND BRADY...

NOW GET OUT OF HERE
AND DON'T MESS THIS ONE UP.

JENNA, YEAH. I CHANGED
MY 12:00 LUNCH.

IT'S PAYBACK TIME.

HEY, DUDE,
YOU DON'T LOOK SO GOOD.

REALLY?
YEAH.

REALLY. YOU USUALLY LOOK BETTER.

WHAT, CAN YOU NOT
HEAR THE PHONE?

JAUNDICE?
YEAH, KIND OF YELLOW.

WHERE'S THE PHONE?

IS MY ADAM'S APPLE
ALL PATHETIC?

HELLO?

HELLO, KEVIN, IT'S ME.

THE GIRL
FROM THE "L" TRAIN.

IT'S YOU. WOW.
I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D CALL.

OF COURSE I CALLED.
HOW ARE YOU?

HEY, IS THAT THE CHICK
FROM THE TRAIN.

THAT POSTER...

HEY, IS IT THAT THE CHICK
FROM THE TRAIN?

DUDE, IS THAT
THE CHICK FROM THE--

Shut up.

OH, YEAH,
IT'S GOT TO BE.

SO, UH, CAN WE MEET UP?

CHUGGA, CHUGGA,
CHOO, CHOO.

HOW ABOUT GOODY'S DINER?

CHOO, CHOO!

1 O' CLOCK? ALL RIGHT.

CHUGGA, CHUGGA,
CHOO, CHOO!

YEAH?
YEAH.

YEAH!

HI.

WHAT? NO, NO, NO.

THE SUCKER'S GOING TO SPLIT
IN A MATTER OF DAYS.

YEAH. NO. NOW IS
NOT THE TIME TO SELL.

OK.

WORK.

YOU KNOW, YOU DIDN'T HAVE
TO COME UP THIS WEEKEND.

THAT'S OK.
HEY, COME ON.

IT'S MY TURN. BESIDES, I GOT
SOME WORK DONE ON THE TRAIN.

I DON'T MEAN
TO BE RUDE, BUT...

WHY ARE YOU HERE?

WHEN I SAW YOUR POSTER,

I JUST KNEW
I HAD TO MEET YOU.

I COULD TELL
THAT WE WOULD HAVE...

A COSMIC CONNECTION.

YOU SENSED THAT
FROM A POSTER?

YES.
HOW'S SCHOOL?

OH, HECTIC,
WITH FINALS NEXT WEEK.

WELL, SOON, YOU'LL BE
BACK HOME IN CHICAGO,

WE'LL BE TOGETHER,
AND YOU CAN RELAX.

ACTUALLY,
I WAS THINKING...

I WANT TO VOLUNTEER
FOR THE FIELD MUSEUM

WHEN I GET BACK.

ABBEY...

I APPRECIATE, YOU KNOW,
YOUR FOSSIL HOBBY, BUT--

PAUL...

IT'S NOT JUST A HOBBY.

YOU'RE A WATER SIGN.
NO.

OH.

UH-HUH.

VIRGO.
UH-UH.

OH. YOU SEE, KEVIN,

ASTROLOGY IS ACTUALLY
CHOCK-FULL OF--SHOOT!

WHAT?
PORK.

GET THIS AWAY FROM ME.
GET THIS AWAY FROM ME.

IT'S OK.
IT'S OK.

LISTEN,
PORK HAPPENS.

DON'T PATRONIZE ME.
EXCUSE ME?

WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR,
SOME KIND OF FREAK?

YOU DID CALL ME OUT
OF THE BLUE FROM A POSTER.

WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE
I THOUGHT WE HAD A CONNECTION--

A COSMIC CONNECTION,
KEVIN.

AND I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU'D
BE DIFFERENT, BUT YOU'RE NOT.

YOU'RE ALL THE SAME--
ALL OF YOU.

AND I DON'T HAVE
TO TAKE THIS.

I'M FROM OREGON.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

OW!
WHAT DID I DO?

I'M GOING TO HAVE
TO CALL YOU LATER, OK?

YEAH.

SO, WHERE WERE WE?

WE WERE TALKING ABOUT US.
WE WERE?

NO, BUT I THINK WE SHOULD.
WELL, ABBEY--

PAUL, THE ONLY TIME
YOU GOT EXCITED TODAY

IS WHEN YOUR PHONE RANG.

I'M BEGINNING TO FEEL
LIKE THREE'S A CROWD.

WELL, I THINK I'VE GOT A WAY
OF MAKING IT UP TO YOU.

WHAT'S THAT I SEE?
YES, WE HAVE A SMILE.

HA!

AL GREEN
AT THE OPERA HOUSE?

JUST YOU AND ME. WE'RE GOING TO
HAVE A GREAT TIME.

YEAH?

OH, MAN. YOU WASH
YOUR GRIMY BUTT

IN MY TUB AGAIN, YOU'RE GOING
TO HAVE TO PAY RENT, ALL RIGHT?

WELL, EXCUSE ME.

I MEAN, I GOT TO FRICKIN'
TAKE A SHOWER.

MINE'S BUSTED AT MY APARTMENT,
AND I GOT A GIG TONIGHT,

SO I DON'T WANT
TO SMELL LIKE B.O.

YEAH, MAYBE THAT'S
WHY THAT RECORD CONTRACT

HAS REMAINED SO ELUSIVE.

OH, YEAH?

OH, NICE SHOT.

YOU'RE A PHILISTINE.

YOU'RE A FLATULENT
PHILISTINE.

GET OUT OF HERE, MAN.

MICK! MICK! MICK! MICK!
MICK! MICK! MICK! MICK!

WELCOME BACK TO TRL,
YOU GUYS.

TIMES SQUARE, NEW YORK CITY
IS OFF THE HOOK,

BECAUSE THIS MAN
HAS ENTERED THE STUDIO.

HEY, ROD.
YEAH.

YOUR HERO'S ON TV.
NO WAY!

I HAVE
GREAT NEWS FOR YOU.

YOU HAVE MADE
TRL HISTORY.

THE VIDEO FOR EVERY CLOUD
HAS A SILVER LINING--

26 STRAIGHT WEEKS
AT NUMBER ONE.

YOU BROKE
YOUR OWN RECORD, DUDE.

YOU BROKE
YOUR OWN RECORD!

THAT HAS TO FEEL AMAZING.
HOW DOES IT FEEL?

YOU KNOW, THE MICK
WON THE RECORD,

BUT THE MICK LOST THE RECORD
AT THE SAME TIME.

IT'S UNFORTUNATE, THERE HAS
TO BE A WINNER AND LOSER.

IN THIS CASE,
THE MICK IS BOTH,

SO THE MICK
FEELS CONFLICTED.

EITHER WAY
IT GOES, YOU WIN.

DUDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS GUY.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH
THE MUSIC INDUSTRY TODAY, HUH?

I GRADUATED FROM THE SCHOOL
OF HARD KNOCKS, YOU KNOW,

BUT THAT'S WHAT KEEPS
THE MICK SO GROUNDED.

HE IS NOT
ABOUT THE LOVE.

HE'S NOT ABOUT
THE PASSION.

DUDE, I'M
ABOUT THE LOVE.

AND THE PASSION.

AND THE ODOR.
MAN!

BUT THE MICK'S GOING
TO SHOW HIS MAD LOVE

FOR CHI-TOWN
LATER THIS WEEK.

OH, HE'S GOING HOME.

HE'S GOING HOME!

THAT'S RIGHT. GIVE IT UP
FOR MICK ON TRL!

HEY, AT LEAST
HE HAS A DEGREE.

UHH!
THIS GUY'S A TOOL.

I AM--I AM--I AM...

I GOT IT.

YO, IT'S THE "E" TO THE "R"
TO THE "I" TO THE "C"

IN THE PLACE TO BE.
THAT'S ME. WHAT--WHAT?

BRADY FREAKIN' FRANCES?

BRADY FRANCES?
FROM THE PAPER?

YO, WHAT UP, KID?
OH, MAN, I'M CHILLIN'--

JUST COOLIN' AS THE OTHER
SIDE OF THE PILLOW,

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
UH, I DON'T GET IT.

NO, LIKE WHEN YOU WAKE UP
LATE AT NIGHT, AND YOU--

FORGET IT, DUDE.

WHAT YOU WANT?

FOR REAL?

YEAH, YEAH, MAN.
HANG ON A SECOND.

YO, HE WANTS TO INTERVIEW
YOU FOR THE PAPER.

HE GOT ONE
OF THOSE POSTERS,

AND HE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT
THE GIRL FROM THE TRAIN.

NO WAY.

WAY. JUST CHILL
FOR A SECOND.

THINK ABOUT THIS.

IF YOU GET YOUR NAME
IN PRINT,

AND PEOPLE START
SEEING YOU AS SOME GUY

WHO'S GOING
TO TAKE A RISK,

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO
BE KNOWN AS THE GUY

WHO CAN'T SEAL
THE DEAL ANYMORE, RIGHT?

I'M NOT DOING
AN INTERVIEW.

KEV, COME ON.
I THINK IT WOULD BE

A GREAT PR MOVE
FOR YOU.

IT'LL HELP YOU
FIND HER.

OK.

COOL.

WAY TO GO, ROMEO.

HI, KEVIN.

HA HA HA HA!

GIBBONS.

OH HO HO!

OH, GIBBONS...

WHY DON'T YOU JUST
OFFER A REWARD?

LIKE WITH
A LOST PUPPY?

HA HA HA!
OH!

OH, SON,
IT'S SO SAD.

YOU'VE GOTTEN IT
ALL BASS-ACKWARDS.

LOOK, FIRST
YOU GET THE POWER,

THEN YOU GET THE MONEY,

AND THEN YOU BUY
THE LOVE.

OH.

GIBBONS, PLEASE.

DON'T BE A DUMMY.

REEBOK'S
ON THE LINE.

COULD YOU ASK THEM
TO HOLD, PLEASE?

FOCUS ON THE JOB
AT HAND.

MONEY MAKES THE WORLD
GO AROUND,

AND ANYONE
THAT TELLS YOU

THAT MONEY IS THE ROOT
OF ALL EVIL--

DOESN'T HAVE ANY.

HELLO?

ARE YOU TALKING
TO THE YOUNG MAN

FROM THE TRAIN?

YES.

WE'D LIKE HIM TO HEAD UP
THE CREATIVE TEAM.

REALLY?
REALLY?

REEBOK CAN USE PEOPLE
WITH HIS KIND OF PASSION.

GIBBONS, IGNORE EVERYTHING
I'VE EVER TOLD YOU.

NOW BATTING,

SECOND BASEMAN
ERIC YOUNG.

STRAIGHT
FROM THE OVEN

OF YOUR MAMA'S
HOUSE.

I'LL TAKE A BAG.

THERE YOU GO,
FELLA.

YO, WHAT'S UP,
FELLAS?

WHAT'S UP? MAN,
NO-ACTION JACKSON OVER HERE

KEEPS TALKING ABOUT
THE GIRL FROM THE TRAIN.

AW, MAN,
ARE YOU SERIOUS?

WOULD YOU CUT IT OUT
ALREADY, DUDE?

YOU'RE LIKE
THE POSTER BOY

FOR THE ROMANTICALLY
CHALLENGED.

HEY, YO, THIS GUY
NEEDS A DATE.

HEY, ANYBODY READ
THE NEWSPAPER TODAY?

THIS IS THE GUY
FROM THE TRAIN

WHO PUT UP
THAT POSTER

TRYING TO FIND
THAT GIRL.

WOULD YOU SHUT UP?

OH, THAT'S SO ROMANTIC.

I HAVE A DAUGHTER.

OH, YEAH?
DOES SHE EAT MEAT?

NOW BATTING...

I DON'T KNOW WHY I TELL
YOU GUYS ANYTHING.

FRED McGRIFF.

LISTEN, I DON'T EVEN
UNDERSTAND THIS.

I MEAN, IT'S LIKE
MAYBE YOU THOUGHT HER UP

IN YOUR MIND OR
SOME STUFF LIKE THAT.

IT'S LIKE YOU THINK
SHE'S, LIKE, JULIA ROBERTS,

BUT IN REALITY,
SHE'S LIKE DR. RUTH.

AS USUAL, ROD,

I HAVE NO CLUE
WHAT YOU MEAN.

HEY, YOU REALLY THINK
THIS BABE IS GOING TO CALL YOU?

I DON'T KNOW. I JUST WISH
I KNEW WHERE SHE WAS.

THE CUBS HAVE HAD
3 OPPORTUNITIES TO SCORE

IN AS MANY AT-BATS
TODAY.

AND TELEMACHO JUMPS AHEAD
OF HIM 2 QUICK STRIKES.

HA HA! NOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE
BRADY HOOKED YOU UP

WITH THAT ARTICLE
IN THE PAPER,

CONSIDERING YOU DISSED
AND DISMISSED HIS ASS

BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL.
DON'T YOU HAVE SOME WORK TO DO?

AND HERE'S
SAMMY SOSA IN THE FOURTH.

SAMMY HIT INTO A 6-4-3

INNING-ENDING DOUBLE PLAY
IN THE FIRST.

THE CUBS HAVE HAD
3 OPPORTUNITIES TO SCORE...

OH!

OH!

HO HO!

OOH, THAT'S GOT TO HURT.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
HE'S HIT THAT GUY

3 TIMES THIS SEASON.

DAMN! THAT'S
THE THIRD TIME THIS SEASON

I HIT THIS GUY.

SAMMY LAUNCHED ONE
SUNDAY, YOU'LL RECALL.

TODD HUNDLEY'S
WAITING ON DECK.

HE GOT THE BALL!
IT HIM IN THE--

WHAT?

YOU WANT NUTS
IN YOUR NOODLES?

YEAH, SURE,
WHATEVER.

HMM. YOU THINK
SHE'LL CALL HIM?

HA! YOU THINK I CARE?
YOU SHOULD CARE.

YOU'RE WRITING
THE FOLLOW-UP ARTICLE ON HIM.

I HOPE SHE DOES CALL.
HE SEEMS SWEET.

KEVIN GIBBONS
IS A GIMP.

HE'S MAKING A COMPLETE
IDIOT OF HIMSELF.

I MEAN,
I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE

PEOPLE ARE TAKING
THE ARTICLE SERIOUSLY.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE
AGAINST THIS GUY?

NOTHING. I JUST DON'T SEE
WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS.

WELL, HE TOOK A CHANCE.
HE WENT FOR SOMETHING.

I THINK--I THINK
WOMEN LIKE THAT.

IT'S ROMANTIC.

YOU HAVE 47 MESSAGES.

WHAT THE HECK
DID YOU DO THAT FOR?

THAT'S FOR USING MY TOWEL
THE OTHER DAY.

YEAH? WELL, I ALSO
WORE YOUR UNDERWEAR.

YEAH!

OH, I GOT IT! I GOT IT!

I GOT IT! I GOT IT!

I GOT IT...

OH, MY GOSH, DUDE.
WHAT IS THIS?

IT'S A HOT DOG.
THANKS, MAN.

NO PROBLEM.

SURE IT'S GOOD?
SAFE!

SO, KEV, I BET
YOU'RE WONDERING WHY

WE ASKED YOU OUT TO
PLAY BARBECUE BALL

THIS FINE, COLD DAY
IN CHICAGO.

OH, ALRIGHT 'CAUSE
I BROUGHT THE FOOD?

NO!

WELL, YEAH,
KIND OF,

BUT ALSO BECAUSE
I CAME UP WITH

THIS REALLY
BRILLIANT IDEA.

ACTUALLY, IT'S MORE LIKE
A PROPOSITION FOR YOU.

WHY AM I AFRAID TO HEAR THIS?
I DON'T KNOW.

ME AND THE GUYS
WERE JUST THINKING THAT

YOU COULD DO ALL THESE BABES
LIKE A BIG HUGE FAVOR

AND LET US
TAKE THEM OUT.

AND HOW IS THAT
POSSIBLY A GOOD IDEA?

FIRST OFF...

UMM, THERE ARE JUST
WAY TOO MANY CALLS

FOR YOU
TO HANDLE SOLO,

AND SECONDLY...

ROD?
WHAT WAS NUMBER 2?

OH!
WE SCREEN THE GIRLS

AND WE HELP YOU
FIND "THE GIRL."

YES!

YEAH.
AND IF, PERCHANCE, YOU KNOW,

WE WERE TO MAKE
SOME KIND OF CONNECTION

WITH ONE OF THESE
FINE YOUNG LADIES,

WELL...
SO MUCH THE BETTER.

YEAH! WE ALL WIN BIG.
WIENIE.

CHA-CHING.

THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
I DIDN'T THINK OF THAT.

ROD, YEAH! I TOLD YOU
HE'D GO FOR IT.

I WAS ACTUALLY SURPRISED
YOU DIDN'T THINK OF IT, TOO.

I GAVE YOU
A COUPLE DAYS.

ABSOLUTELY NOT, GUYS.

GAME'S OVER.
SEE YOU LATER.

UM...I SAY
HE'S COMING AROUND.

THAT WENT
PRETTY WELL.

FKR.

GIBBONS!

UH, MR. HIGGINS.

AHH.
LISTEN, I'M NOT QUITE--

YOU DON'T GO
GINKGO, DO YOU?

GINKO?
BILOBA, GIBBONS.

YOU LACK AN ABUNDANCE
OF ENERGY.

THERE'S A CERTAIN OVERALL
MALAISE ABOUT YOU, GIBBONS.

I JUST THINK THAT A SMOOTHIE
WITH A SHOT OF GINKGO IN IT

WOULD REMEDY THAT.

WELL...I PREFER COFFEE.

WELL, IT'S YOUR COLON,
GIBBONS.

I HATE TO BRING THIS UP,

BUT JACKIE TELLS ME YOU'RE
NOT PULLING YOUR WEIGHT.

LOOK, THIS PROPOSAL
IS DUE IN 3 DAYS

AND I CAN'T HAVE YOU
HALF-HEARTING IT.

WE'LL HAVE IT DONE, SIR.
GOOD!

EXCUSE ME.

KEVIN GIBBONS.
HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

WHAT UP, KID?

YO, LOOK, BROTHER,
I AM BEGGING YOU

TO RECONSIDER.

NO. I'M GONNA HAVE
TO CALL YOU BACK, OK?

COME ON, KEV.
HELP US HELP YOU!

MAN, WOULD YOU STOP BEING
SO SELFISH FOR A SEC

AND THINK ABOUT
THE TEAM HERE?

GIBBONS, THIS CAMPAIGN
IS VERY IMPORTANT TO US.

YOUR JOB DEPENDS ON IT.

DO WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER?
ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS SAY YES!

YES. YES.

DUDE, ARE--ARE YOU
SURE THAT'S COOL?

ARE YOU SURE?

POSITIVE.

YES!

GOOD.

OOH HOO HOO!

HELLO? HELLO?

YEAH! WE'RE GONNA
GET SOME DATES!

WE'RE GONNA GET...

LET'S HAVE A ROUND
OF APPLAUSE FOR MR. AL GREEN!

DUDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU SCORED SUCH GREAT SEATS.

DUDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW
MANY HOTTIES DIG AL GREEN.

OH. SORRY.
WRONG PERSON.

HELLO?
CAN YOU HEAR ME?

HEY, ABBEY,
IT'S PAUL.

HEY, WHERE ARE YOU?
THE SHOW'S ALREADY STARTED.

I KNOW I'M SUPPOSED
TO MEET YOU RIGHT NOW,

BUT I'M CAUGHT UP IN
A MEETING. I CAN'T LEAVE.

NO! I WAS JUST REALLY
LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS.

I'M REALLY,
REALLY SORRY, OK?

I WANT YOU
TO ENJOY YOURSELF.

I WANT YOU TO HAVE
A GOOD TIME.

HAVE A GREAT MEETING.

I'VE GOT TO GO.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER, YEAH?

OK.
OK, BYE.

BYE.

CAN I SEE
YOUR TICKETS, PLEASE?

OH, TICKETS?
YEAH, I GOT TICKETS, MAN.

YOU'RE VERY WONDERFUL.

I WAS READING TODAY
IN THE NEWSPAPER

ABOUT A YOUNG MAN WHO FOUND
SOMEONE ON A TRAIN...

YOU'RE KIDDING ME.

I GOT 'EM. I GOT 'EM.
WHAT DO THEY LOOK LIKE?

JUST TELL ME QUICK, UM--

I KNEW THIS WAS
TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.

...THAT THEY MAY
FIND LOVE AND HAPPINESS

WHEREVER IT IS.

I GOT 'EM. OH, MAN!

HEY, LET GO OF
THE THREADS!

HEY, COME ON, DON'T MAKE ME
GET ROUGH WITH YOU!

HEY, DON'T MAKE ME
CALL MY--

DIDN'T WE GO TO
SCHOOL TOGETHER?

HI.

I--I DIDN'T THINK
I'D EVER SEE YOU AGAIN.

I'VE BEEN KICKING MYSELF
FOR NOT ASKING YOUR NAME.

I WAS HOPING
YOU WOULD SAY THAT.

MY NAME IS...

ADAM'S STREET.

WHAT?

IT'S...
NEXT STOP MADISON.

I'M SORRY.
I DIDN'T HEAR IT.

WHAT WAS YOUR NAME?

SATURDAY AT 8:00?
YOU GOT IT!

THEY GOT VEGETABLES,
THEY GOT EVERYTHING.

YEAH, SURE. WELL, I MEAN,
THAT DEPENDS.

I KNOW THIS ABSOLUTELY
EXQUISITE TRATTORIA.

I MEAN, WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE
KIND OF FOOD?

I NEED SATURDAY,
6:00 STAT!

I'VE GOT A 5:00 AND A 7:30.
I COULD DO IT AT 6:15!

- GOOD!
- 00 ON SATURDAY--

GIVE ME SOMETHING GOOD, OKAY?
THIS GIRL IS SPECIAL TO ME.

WHAT THE HECK
IS GOING ON HERE?

OH, MAN,
WE GOT THIS DOWN.

PHONE, RESERVATION,
SCHEDULING.

CHECK IT OUT.
IT IS ALL GOOD!

YOU DON'T
EVEN WANT TO KNOW!

I GOT THE TWINS FOR YOU
AT OAK PARK AT 7:30!

IT'S GONNA BE GREAT!

THAT WILL BE PERFECT.
I'LL PICK YOU UP AT EIGHT-ISH.

HELLO?

THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING.
DONE! THANK YOU.

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, MAN?
YOU GAVE US THE GREEN LIGHT.

WHAT? GREEN LIGHT?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I'M TALKIN' ABOUT
YOU SAID YES ON THE PHONE

THE OTHER DAY, REMEMBER?
WHEN?

AW, MAN, WE COULD
STAND HERE ALL NIGHT

AND PLAY THE "HE SAID,
HE SAID" THING--

SHH! SHH!

YES? OUI, MADAME.
VOUS ETES FRANCOISE?

YEAH, YEAH,
HE'S GOT A FRENCH GIRL!

OK, THINK OF
SOMETHING FRENCH.

LE POU-POU DE MAMA?

UH...YEAH, SURE.

ERIC! LINE ONE.
YO!

PATCH IT
THROUGH NOW. GO.

HELLO, THIS IS KEVIN.

HELLO?

HELLO?

HELLO?

THAT SOUNDED LIKE A DUDE.

THAT WAS STRANGE.

WHAT?

WHY ARE YOU
READING THIS?

I DON'T KNOW.

I THOUGHT YOU'D APPRECIATE
THAT I'M INTO YOUR ARTICLES.

LOOK AT THIS.

ALL THESE PATHETIC WOMEN
WANT TO MEET THIS GUY.

PEOPLE ARE LONELY.

ANYWAY, I THINK THE NOTION

OF SOMEONE
FINDING TRUE LOVE

IS--IS BEAUTIFUL!

AND I HOPE
SHE CALLS HIM.

WHAT IS YOUR OBSESSION
WITH THIS GUY?

I'M OBSESSED?

WELL, YOU DO UNDERSTAND
THAT THE WHOLE NOTION

OF LOVE IS MERELY A MYTH.

IT WAS INVENTED BY
CORPORATIONS TO TURN A PROFIT.

LOVE DOESN'T EXIST.

THAT'S ROMANTIC.

ROMANCE DOESN'T EXIST.

I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU.

WHAT, YOU THINK
HE'S ROMANTIC?

THAT LOSER'S JUST PUTTING UP
POSTERS TO MEET MORE GIRLS.

YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS!

WELL, IF YOU LIKE HIM SO MUCH,
WHY DON'T YOU CALL HIM?

SWEETIE?

YO, WHO DIS?
KEVIN?

UH-HUH.
THAT'S MY NAME.

ASK ME AGAIN,
I'M GONNA TELL YOU THE SAME.

HI, IT'S ME--THE GIRL
FROM THE TRAIN.

HEY, WHAT UP?

SO, YOU KNOW,
WHEN WE HOOKIN' UP?

UH, TOMORROW NIGHT
I'M FREE.

TOMORROW? SUNDAY?

UM, YEAH, COOL.
HOW'S CAFE DE LOVE?

7:30?

YEAH.
THAT SOUNDS GOOD.

YEAH. I'LL BE THERE
WITH BELLS ON.

OH!

WELL, BEING THAT
I'M A POP STAR, YOU KNOW,

IT'S EASY TO FIND GUYS.

IT'S JUST NOT EASY
FINDING THE RIGHT GUYS,

SO WHEN I SAW YOUR POSTER,
I KNEW YOU'D BE DIFFERENT,

YOU KNOW?
NOT THE PLAYER TYPE.

HAS ANYBODY EVER TOLD YOU

THAT YOU HAVE THE FACE
OF A DE KOONING WOMAN?

I'M PIERCED IN
49 DIFFERENT PLACES

ON MY BODY.

ENOUGH OF THIS
TALK, ALL RIGHT?

YOU AND ME TAKE A WALK.
YEAH.

LIKE TONIGHT, WE'LL
HEAD BACK TO YOUR PAD

WHERE WE CAN GET GLAD.

OW!

WUSS.

MOMMY.

AH! YOU STOLE MY POSTER!

HI, KEVIN.

BRANDI, SHE'S
SWEET AS CANDY!

YEAH, YOU
THE FINEST SISTA.

CAN I KISS YA?

FOOL!
THAT'S THE LAST TIME...

SHE'S INTO ME.

HI. I'M JULIE.

HI. I'M...KEVIN.

UH--OH!

OH, YEAH, BABY!
OH, COME ON, COME TO PAPA.

COME ON, COME HERE.
THAT'S IT.

YEAH, I WON'T BITE.
I PROMISE.

THAT'S IT. COME HERE.

CHEERS, BABY.
I'M KEVIN.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

ARE YOU SAYING
I'M NOT WHO I SAY I AM?

YEAH! THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I'M SAYING!

HEY, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

I KNEW YOU SOUNDED
DIFFERENT ON THE PHONE.

HEY, WAIT A SECOND.
COME BACK HERE. COME ON.

HEY, IF YOU
DON'T LIKE THIS PLACE,

WE CAN GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.

HEY, COME ON! YOU SHOULD
AT LEAST TRY AN APPETIZER!

LOOK, I'M NOT HIM,
YOU'RE NOT HER.

WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES IT MAKE? COME ON!

LOOK, I DON'T KNOW
WHO YOU ARE,

BUT IF YOU DON'T
LEAVE ME ALONE,

I'LL CALL THE COPS.

HEY, HONEY, COME HERE.

WHAT PART OF
"I'LL CALL THE COPS"

DIDN'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

LIKE THE WHOLE THING.

YOU'RE HER.

YOU'RE THE ONE
FROM THE TRAIN.

YEAH, YOU ARE FINE!

UM, UH, WASHINGTON,
LINCOLN, DONNY REAGAN,

MARTIN SHEEN,
MR. MIYAGI, BILLY JOEL,

UH, I'M A FRIEND OF KEVIN'S.

DOES HE KNOW
YOU'RE DOING THIS?

YES. YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE
HOW MANY LADIES HAVE CALLED.

WE COULD START
A BOOMING BUSINESS!

WAIT A SECOND.
THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.

LIKE--AW!

YEAH, OK, FINE.

SO, THEN,
I'LL JUST CALL YOU LATER?

UHH!

SO?

I DON'T THINK
IT WAS HIM.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I THINK HIS FRIENDS
ARE ANSWERING THE CALLS

AND TAKING
THE GIRLS OUT.

YES!

I KNEW IT!

NOW I CAN EXPOSE HIM
FOR THE FRAUD HE IS!

HEH HEH!
KEVIN GIBBONS.

HIS BUTT IS MINE!

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

WHAT THE HECK
HAPPENED TO YOU?

GOOD MORNING, MARGIE.

GIBBONS, WE NEED TO
HAVE A LITTLE TALK.

MR. HIGGINS, THE PROPOSAL,
IT'S COMING ALONG GREAT.

OH, YES, ABOUT THAT.
PLEASE.

HOW CAN I
PUT THIS DELICATELY?

REEBOK WANTS YOU
OFF THE CAMPAIGN.

WHAT?
MM-HMM.

YES. APPARENTLY THEY READ

THAT LAST ARTICLE
ABOUT YOU IN THE PAPER

YOU KNOW, ABOUT HOW
YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO FIND

THE ONE GIRL SO THAT YOU
COULD DATE EVERY DESPERATE

WOMAN IN THE WINDY CITY,

WHICH I THINK
WAS MASTERFUL--

MASTERFUL, GIBBONS.

BUT REEBOK,
THEY GOT COLD FEET,

NO PUN INTENDED.

HOW CAN AN ARTICLE
IN A PAPER

HAVE ANYTHING TO DO
WITH MY WORK?

AH! WELL, GIBBONS,
CLIENTS ARE FUNNY THAT WAY.

THEY SAID THEY DIDN'T
WANT SOMEONE ON THEIR TEAM

WHO WOULD SAY ONE THING
AND DO ANOTHER.

IT'S AN IMAGE THING
FOR THEM.

BUT...I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

GIBBONS,
I'M SICK ABOUT THIS,

BUT MY HANDS ARE TIED.
SORRY.

HEY, THERE, KEV.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO START
PRACTICING WITH THE MAIL CART.

SO, I TAKE IT, IT WAS
A FRUITFUL EVENING?

OH, YEAH, DUDE.

THOSE LITTLE BIRDIES
DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE.

I WAS LIKE, BAM, BAM,
BAM-BAM-BAM! HA HA!

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?
HOW 'BOUT YOU?

WELL, LET'S
JUST SAY THAT, UH...

MY ACTION CUP
RUNNETH OVER.

HA HA! ACTION CUP!
THAT'S A METAPHOR, RIGHT?

YEAH.
HA HA! THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

OH!

HEY!

GOOD MORNING.
HOW YOU DOING?

WHY SO CRESTFALLEN,
YOUNG MAN?

I DON'T WANT TO
TALK ABOUT IT.

AT THIS TABLE,
WE KISS AND WE TELL.

YEAH, AND THEN WE TELL
SOME MORE, SO COME ON!

I THINK I INJURED MY DATE.

HA HA! COME ON, DUDE!
DON'T BE SO COCKY!

NO, I'M SERIOUS.
SHE'S JACKED UP.

WHAT IS SHE,
A CAR?

ISN'T THAT
A GOOD THING, DUDE?

NO.

SO, WHAT--WHAT'S UP?

YEAH?

ALL RIGHT,
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED.

WE'RE ON A DATE,

MET HER AT THE BAR...
NICE.

BROUGHT HER
TO MY APARTMENT.

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE POINTS
TO ME AND SHE SAYS TO ME,

"I WANT TO HEAR YOU PLAY

ONE OF THE SONGS
THAT YOU WROTE."

HA HA HA!
YEAH!

SO I THOUGHT THAT WAS
FRIGGIN' GREAT, RIGHT?

SO I WAS LIKE, "SURE!"
SO THERE I AM.

SO I START JAMMIN'.
I'M JAMMIN'.

I'M SINGIN', I'M GOIN',
I'M GROOVIN', I'M ROCKIN',

I'M ROLLIN'. I'M JUST GOIN'
AFTER THE CRAZY.

YOU KNOW THAT
SIGNATURE MOVE THAT I DO

WHEN I KICK THAT AMP?

OH, YEAH!

THAT'S WHEN IT HAPPENED.

YES!
YES!

WHAT?
WHAT?

DUDE, YOU BROKE HER NOSE?

AND HER ANKLE.

YO, SHE GOT ROCKED!

BUT IT'S NOT FUNNY.

UM, SO, GUYS...

HAVE WE DECIDED
WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO

UM, YOU KNOW, IF THE REAL
GIRL ACTUALLY CALLS?

WELL, IF SHE HASN'T
CALLED BY NOW--

AND OBVIOUSLY,
IF SHE DOES HAPPEN TO CALL,

THE RIGHT THING TO DO
IS CLOSE UP SHOP,

END OF STORY.

ANYTHING ELSE WOULD BE
UNCONSCIONABLE.

I SAW HER LAST NIGHT.

WHAT?

SHE WAS MY 7:30.

HAVE YOU TOLD KEVIN
ABOUT THIS?

NOT YET.
WELL, YOU NEED TO TELL HIM!

WELL, YEAH, BUT WHAT
ABOUT OUR OPERATION, MAN?

I MEAN...

ALL RIGHT. FINE.

TODAY!
FINE!

DANG IT!

IDIOTIC MACHINE!

I SWEAR I WILL UNPLUG YOU,

AND THROW YOU DOWN
ALL FLIGHTS

OF THESE STAIRS
IN THIS BUILDING.

PROBLEMS?
NO!

I JUST HAVE OUR
BIGGEST CLIENTS WAITING,

AND THE MACHINE'S
TAKING A COFFEE BREAK.

WHERE'S NATHAN?
WHO CARES?

I HAVE 2 MINUTES
BEFORE THE REEBOK MEETING,

AND IF I DON'T GET
THESE COPIES MADE,

MY WHOLE PROPOSAL
TURNS TO CRUD.

OK. ALL RIGHT.
I CAN DO THIS.

HOLD ON.

LET ME TAKE A LOOK.

I DON'T HAVE TIME
FOR THIS, KEVIN.

COME ON, LUCILLE.
DON'T DIE ON ME NOW.

LISTEN, DADDY
KNOWS YOU'RE TIRED.

BUT DADDY KNOWS YOU GOT
A FEW MORE LEFT IN YOU.

YES, YOU DO!
YES, YOU DO!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

IS THIS GONNA WORK?

SOMETIMES,
BUT IF IT DOESN'T...

GIVE HER
A LITTLE LOVE TAP.

HEY!

HELLO? IT'S ME!

HEY!

YOU WHAT?
I SAW HER.

WHERE? WHEN?
I MEAN, YOU DID?

YEP.

WELL, WHAT HAPPENED?

SHE BLEW ME OFF.

OH, MAN!
THAT IS BAD!

YOU KNOW, IT DOESN'T
SURPRISE ME, THOUGH.

AFTER ALL THE ARTICLES
IN THE PAPER,

BUT THE THING
I DON'T UNDERSTAND--

WHY DIDN'T SHE CALL
IN THE FIRST PLACE?

KEV...

SHE DID CALL.

WHAT?

YEAH. UM...

WE SORT OF
WENT OUT ON A DATE.

WAIT A MINUTE.

SHE CALLED,
YOU TOOK HER OUT,

AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?

WELL, I--NO, I JUST DID.

WHOA, MAN! HEY,
IT'S NOT LIKE I TRIED

TO KISS HER OR ANYTHING.
KEV, COME ON!

LET'S TALK ABOUT THI--

UHH!

OW!

UHH!

OH! UHH! AW!

KEVIN,
COME BACK HERE, MAN!

♪ WE'RE NOT
GONNA TAKE IT ♪

♪ NO, WE AIN'T GONNA
TAKE IT ♪

♪ WE'RE NOT GONNA
TAKE IT ANYMORE ♪

GUYS, GUYS, GUYS--

WHAT?
TAKE 5.

I THOUGHT
IT SOUNDED ALL RIGHT.

I THINK IT SOUNDED
PRETTY GOOD.

LISTEN, KEV, WHAT
WE DID WAS INCONSIDERATE,

SELFISH, STUPID,
CLASSLESS. I MEAN--

YOU CAN STOP ME ANYTIME.
I MEAN--

KEEP GOIN'.

I GUESS WE JUST ACTED
LIKE JACKASSES, MAN.

JUST WANTED
TO SAY I'M SORRY.

I APPRECIATE
THE APOLOGY,

BUT THE DAMAGE IS
ALREADY DONE, SO...

DO YOU KNOW WHY I WANTED
TO BECOME A MUSICIAN?

HMM. GIRLS, MONEY, FAME.

NO. THE MUSIC, MAN.
IT'S THE MUSIC.

I MEAN, WHEN I'M UP THERE
ON THAT STAGE,

EVERYTHING IS JUST RIGHT
AND THE WORLD'S PERFECT...

UNTIL THEY
START BOOING ME.

YOU NEVER KNOW WHO MIGHT
LISTEN TO YOUR SONG

AND ACTUALLY LIKE IT.

I GUESS ME
DREAMING AND

THINKING ABOUT
WRITING MY SONGS,

IT'S KIND OF LIKE THAT,
THAT GIRL

THAT YOU MET
ON THE TRAIN, YOU KNOW?

YOU KNOW, YOU WANT
SOMETHING SO BAD IT HURTS.

I JUST ADMIRE
YOUR PASSION, KEV.

YOU INSPIRED ME
TO WRITE THIS,

AND, UH...

I FIGURE IF YOU COULD
PUT YOURSELF ON THE LINE

TO FIND THAT GIRL,
I CAN DO THE SAME...

WRITE MY ORIGINAL SONG.

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

COOL.

WELL, WE REALLY

SCREWED THIS ONE UP, HUH,
FELLAS?

WE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WE?

IT WAS YOUR IDEA!

HEY, COME ON!
I DIDN'T FORCE YOU

TO GO ON ANY
OF THOSE DATES, OK?

YEAH, LISTEN.
KEVIN SAID THAT IT

WASN'T A GOOD IDEA!

GENTLEMEN, PLEASE.

GUYS, COME ON.
LISTEN TO US.

THIS IS STUPID.
WE'RE BEING PETTY.

WE HAVE TO STEP BACK,
AND WE HAVE TO LOOK AT

THE BIGGER PICTURE HERE,
ALL RIGHT?

WE ALL
MESSED KEVIN OVER.

ALL RIGHT. THERE'S
A BIT OF TRUTH IN THAT,

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? NOW WE
GOTTA MAKE THINGS RIGHT, RIGHT?

YEAH.
EXACTLY.

GOOD!

HOW ARE WE GONNA DO THAT?

I GOT AN IDEA.

WHOA!

LOOK. I'M GONNA
START RIGHT HERE,

AND JUMP, ZIP, LOCK,
I'M GONNA RIDE THIS.

NOW, RANDY, I WANT YOU TO
START RIGHT AROUND THE LOOP.

PEOPLE, WE'RE LOOKING
FOR THE REAL "L" TRAIN GIRL.

YEAH,
SHE'S THE ONE. HERE YOU GO.

WANTED--WE'RE LOOKING
FOR THE REAL TRAIN GIRL.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS--
ANYBODY SEEN THIS GIRL?

SHE'S REAL CUTE,
AND, UH...

YOU SEEN THIS GIRL?
TAKE THAT. THANK YOU.

TAKE A--TAKE A FLIER.
HERE YOU GO.

HAS ANYBODY SEEN THIS GIRL?

A LITTLE SHORT.
SHE'S GOT PRETTY HAIR.

BEAUTIFUL EYES.
HELLO. HERE YOU GO.

DO YOU KNOW HER?
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GIRL?

I'M TRYING TO FIND HER.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GIRL?

HAS ANYBODY SEEN THIS GIRL?

HAS ANYBODY
SEEN THIS WOMAN?

HELLO, WE NEED
SOME HELP HERE.

THIS IS
REALLY IMPORTANT.

WE'RE LOOKING
FOR THIS GIRL, OK?

HEY! HEY, WE NEED
YOUR HELP, PEOPLE!

HEY, HAS ANY ONE OF YOU
EVER BEEN IN LOVE? HUH?

HAS ANYONE EVER,
EVER MET SOMEONE

THEY THOUGHT
WAS THEIR DESTINY?

WELL, MY FRIEND
KEVIN GIBBONS DID.

I WASN'T THERE
FOR HIM THEN,

BUT I AM HERE NOW.

ME AND MY FRIENDS,

YOU KNOW, WE TOOK
ADVANTAGE OF KEVIN

AND, AND HIS SITUATION.

HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT.
YEAH.

WE WENT BEHIND HIS BACK.
WE MESSED HIM OVER.

SO COME ON, PEOPLE,

TAKE A LOOK
AT THIS FLIER, PLEASE.

AND I LEAVE YOU
WITH THIS.

LOVE MAY NOT MAKE
THE WORLD GO 'ROUND...

BUT IT'S WHAT MAKES
THE RIDE WORTHWHILE.

HEY, MARGIE,
HAVE YOU SEEN NATHAN?

DIDN'T YOU HEAR?

HE HAD A HEART ATTACK
LAST NIGHT,

RIGHT AFTER
THE CUBBIES LOST.

HI, UM, I'M LOOKING
FOR A PATIENT.

HIS NAME IS--

IF YOU THINK
THIS FOOD TASTES SO GOOD,

THEN YOU EAT IT!

UH, NEVER MIND.

SO, ERIC YOUNG
DOUBLES FOR AN RBI

IN THE TOP
OF THE NINTH.

BOTTOM OF THE NINTH,
WOOD "K" IS THE SIDE.

SET 'EM UP,
SIT 'EM DOWN.

YOU KNOW, THIS
ISN'T THE FIRST TIME

MY CUBBIES HAVE
PUT ME THROUGH THIS.

ULCER DURING
THE '69 PLAYOFFS.

HYPERTENSION
WHEN THEY LOST IN '84.

AND YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN

THE WAY MY HEMORRHOIDS FLARED UP

WHEN THEY WENT DOWN
IN '89.

BUT THAT TEAM ALSO GIVES
ME A REASON TO LIVE.

SO, DID IT EVER WORK OUT
BETWEEN YOU

AND THAT NICE GIRL
FROM THE TRAIN?

I WANTED IT TO,

BUT I DON'T THINK
IT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

AUGUST 29, 1989.
MY BELOVED CUBS

WERE DOWN BY 9 RUNS TO
THE ASTROS IN THE SIXTH,

BUT DID THEY GIVE UP?
NO, SIR.

THEY FOUGHT
TOOTH AND NAIL,

AND THEY WON
IN EXTRA INNINGS.

I'LL NEVER GIVE UP
ON MY CUBBIES.

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T GIVE UP
ON THAT GIRL, EITHER.

SO...

YOU GONNA TELL ME
WHAT THAT'S ALL ABOUT?

ERNIE BANKS'S
DINGER.

CAUGHT IT THE DAY
I MET MY WIFE.

I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT.

THANKS, NATHAN.

NOW, YOU'RE NOT GONNA
KISS ME, ARE YA?

HEH!

GO AHEAD.
GO FIND THAT GIRL.

REEBOK
SIGNED OFF ON THE ACCOUNT.

THAT'S GREAT.

AND I FINALLY
GOT PROMOTED

TO SENIOR EXEC.

CONGRATULATIONS.

LOOK, KEVIN,

I KNOW I'M A HARD CASE,

BUT YOU'RE JUST GONNA
HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT

WHEN YOU
DESIGN THE ACCOUNT.

I'M BACK ON THE ACCOUNT?

REEBOK NEEDS
YOUR TALENT AND PASSION,

ESPECIALLY
AFTER I TOLD THEM

THAT IT WAS YOUR IDEA.

I KNEW THERE WAS A SOFT SIDE
IN THERE SOMEWHERE.

MAYBE,
BUT THIS IS STRICTLY

A BUSINESS DECISION.

SURE. I UNDERSTAND.

THAT'S A FINAL COPY
OF THE AD.

YOU MAY WANT TO TAKE
A LOOK AT IT

BEFORE IT GOES UP.

IT'S GONNA BE
BILLBOARDS

ALL OVER THE CITY.

OH, I HOPE THAT YOU FIND THAT
GIRL YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR.

JACKIE...

THANKS.

YEAH.

THIS IS WBFP,
PLAYING ALL THE BIGGEST HITS.

GOOD MORNING, CHICAGO.

HEY, FOR ALL YOU
HELPLESS ROMANTICS OUT THERE,

THERE'S A NEW TWIST
ON THAT TRAIN STORY

WE'VE ALL
BEEN READING ABOUT.

TURNS OUT...

HEY, GUYS.
HEY.

HOW YOU FEELING? GOOD?
YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
I FEEL GOOD.

AND YOU LOOK GOOD.

LISTEN, DO YOU WANT
A LITTLE PIECE OF ADVICE?

THIS TIME, WHEN SHE SHOWS,
DO US ALL A FAVOR

AND GET HER NAME AND NUMBER.

ALL RIGHT.
I'LL REMEMBER THAT.

YOU BETTER
HURRY UP, YOU KNOW.

IT'S ALMOST TIME.

YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS?

I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO
THIS ONE ON MY OWN.

WHOA! ARE YOU SURE
YOU DON'T WANT

THE TEAM THERE
FOR MORAL SUPPORT?

NO, THANKS.

WELL... I BETTER GO.

ALL RIGHT.

WAIT, WAIT. OPEN.

NEVER KNOW, MAN.

ALL RIGHT, GUYS.
DO ANOTHER SET?

YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES
YOU JUST GOTTA...

LET 'EM GO AND HOPE
YOU RAISED 'EM WELL.

YEAH.

IT'S THE MOST ROMANTIC STORY

TO HIT CHICAGO IN YEARS.

A YOUNG MAN PUTTING UP
POSTERS AND BILLBOARDS

ALL OVER TOWN IN AN EFFORT TO
FIND THE GIRL OF HIS DREAMS.

IN FACT,
CAN YOU TURN THE CAMERA?

THERE'S ONE RIGHT THERE
BEHIND MY SHOULDER.

WE'RE HERE
AT THE "L" TRAIN PLATFORM

AT WABASH AND ADAMS.

THERE'S JUST ABOUT
15 MINUTES TO GO

AND THEN KEVIN GIBBONS...

SOME MAY CALL HIM CRAZY,

OTHERS, A HOPELESS ROMANTIC...

...WAITING
TO SEE THE OUTCOME.

AND THE BIG QUESTION
ON EVERYBODY'S MIND IS...

WILL SHE OR WILL SHE NOT SHOW?

IT'S THE MICK!

MICK SILVER!
HEY, THE MICK!

OH, MY GOSH! THE MICK!
IT'S REALLY YOU!

I MEAN, GOSH, I CAN'T BELIEVE
IT! DUDE, I SEEN YOU ON TV.

I MEAN, YOU ARE A LEGEND!
YOU ARE GREAT!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

THE MICK RECEIVED THIS
DEMO TAPE IN THE MAIL.

FROM WHO?

FROM A MAN WHO SHALL
REMAIN NAMELESS.

KEVIN.

HEY, THE MICK DIGS
YOUR SOUNDS, MAN.

REALLY?!
HEY, THE MICK DON'T LIE.

NO, MAN, YOU NEVER LIE.
YOU ALWAYS SAY THE TRUTH.

AND WHEN IT IS THE TRUTH,
IT IS THE TRUTH!

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO
RECORD YOUR NEW STUFF

ON THE MICK'S NEW LABEL?

WOULD I? MAN,
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

WHOA!
EASY, EASY!

YOU'RE ALL ABOUT
THE PASSION, MAN!

OH, MY GOD!
I CAN'T BELIEVE MICK--

HI, JULIE.
HI, ROD.

HOW'S THE ANKLE?
OH, IT'S BUSTED.

OH, SORRY. UM,
HAVE YOU MET THE MICK?

MICK, JULIE. JULIE, MICK.
JULIE, MICK.

YEAH.
WELL, MICK'S ALL RIGHT,

BUT I'M MORE
INTO YOU, ROD.

REALLY? UM...

HOW'D YOU LIKE
TO HEAR MY NEW SONG?

YEAH. I'D LOVE TO.
GREAT. OK.

ALL RIGHT, THIS IS...

A SONG I WROTE...

FOR A VERY GOOD FRIEND
OF MINE.

WELL, HERE
WE ARE JUST AFTER 7 P.M.,

AND THERE IS
STILL NO SIGN

OF THE YOUNG LADY
FROM THE "L" TRAIN.

2 QUESTIONS--

WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

AND CAN I PLEASE HAVE
YOUR PHONE NUMBER?

ABBEY, AND I THOUGHT
YOU'D NEVER ASK.

AHH, HE'S STILL A SHMOE.

WE'RE HERE
WITH AN EXCLUSIVE LOOK

BEHIND THE SCENES
OF THE MOVIE ON THE LINE.

CHECK.
N'SYNC?

YEAH.
MORE LIKE N'STINK.

YOU CAN'T SAY THAT.

I DID.
I DON'T CARE.

IS THE CAMERA ON?

THE TWO OF US RIGHT HERE,
WE ARE VERY, VERY PROFESSIONAL

ABOUT EVERYTHING WE DO.

UNLIKE SOME POOP STARS.

I MEAN, SERIOUSLY,
JOEY'S ONE THING, BUT LANCE...

I LOVED YOU FROM THE MINUTE
I SAW YOU ON THE "L"?

THAT WAS
VERY CONVINCING.

I LOVED YOU FROM THE MOMENT
I SAW YOU ON THE "L"?

WHERE'S THE WRITER?
WHERE'S THE WRITER?

ANGELO, HOW MANY TIMES
DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU

I NEED HEIGHT? I WANT
TO SEE THIS FROM CHINA!

CHINA--OK.
GIMME THAT.

I JUST--
DID I SAY YOU COULD SPEAK?

OW! OH OH OH!

ARE YOU GUYS FOR REAL?

YEAH.
YEAH.

ANGELO.
WHAT'S UP?

YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!

YOU LOOK LIKE
A MILLION DOLLARS!

I MEAN, IT'S
YOU LOOK INCREDIBLE.

JOEY, I HAVE
2 WORDS FOR YOU.

YOU ARE THIS GENERATION'S
MARLON BRANDO.

AND, LANCE, I HAVE
3 WORDS FOR YOU.

DE-KNEE-ROW.
KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

JUST PROMISE ME
I CAN DO YOUR HAIR

FOR THE ACADEMY OF AWARDS,
PLEASE?

AND I'LL DO MAKEUP.

YOU TWO ARE THE BEST.
I'LL NEVER FORGET THIS.

REALLY? MEANS A LOT.
THANKS.

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!