On a Clear Day (2005) - full transcript

[Footsteps Echoing] [Chattering]

[Paper Rustling]
[Man Clears Throat]

[Man] This is, uh,
a poem that was—

Uh, I found it in the library.

[Clears Throat] It's for my son.

"To a child dancing in the wind.

"Dance there upon the shore.

"What need have you to care...

"for wind or waters roar?

"Tumble out your hair.

"That the salt drops have wet;



"What need have you to dread
the monstrous crying of the wind?"

[ Laughing]

[Squawking]

[Chattering]

Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.

[Chattering Continues]

Excuse me.

James? James?

James! James! Come here.

Stay close, okay?

Give me your hand.
Tight. Hold it tight.

Sorry. Sorry.

I'm sorry. Where are they?

Listen, Frank. You look
after yourself. All right?



Angela, this way.

Sorry. Excuse me.

[Crowd Cheering]
There she goes, boys.

Look at that. Is that fantastic?

[Cheering Continues]

Rob! Mum. There you are.

- Hello.
- Thought I was going to miss it.

Where's Grandpa? I don't know.

Pappy won't be
coming. He's not here.

[Man] Come on, Frank.

[Squeaking]

[Taps]

You're missing it, Frank.

You coming out? I'll be
out in a minute, Danny.

How can they let someone else build
our navy ships? It's just the way it is.

And you? How
can they let you go?

You want this? No, thanks.

All right, Gus?

[ Machinery Whining]

You all right?

[Chattering]

- Joan Redmond?
- [Whispering] Yeah. I'm sorry.

Excuse me. Sorry.

Excuse me. Sorry.

Sorry. Right.

As I was saying, driving a bus is
exactly the same as driving a car,

except for the 50 or so backseat
drivers sitting behind you.

[Door Opens]

Rob brought the
boys for your last day.

They were looking for you.

Gus Fuller lost his hand today.

Oh? How?

One of the presses.

Will he get more money?

I watched him do it.

That's you—tidy.

See you soon, love.

Hello. Hi.

J.S.A., pensions or disability?

I'm looking for a job.

First time? Yeah.

You'll need to speak to someone.

Let's see who's free.

- Angela.
- All right?

Okay.

Look, Frank, you don't
have to fill it in here.

You can do it at home.

[Shallow Breaths]

Won't be the same
at work without Frank.

You got the boot as
well, you dozy pillock.

He might have a heart attack.
That happens, doesn't it?

Work Monday, redundant Tuesday,

heart attack Wednesday.

Well, Frank'll be all right
then. Today's Thursday.

What in the name of total
insanity are you wearing?

Oh! I need clean ones.

- Tell me they're not your mother's.
- Don't be daft. They're big Janine’s.

- She left 'em in the pub again on Friday.
- Don't let Frank catch you wearing 'em.

- I knew they'd come in handy.
- For what, exactly?

What if I get run over?

- Frank won't be coming
swimming tonight.
- [Sniffs]

I'm glad I got out of there
when I did. It's turned nasty.

Frank could have stayed on
like I did. The men respect him.

All he had to do was let them
upstairs think they were runnin' the job.

Man's too pigheaded
for his own good.

- Frank, I didn't
mean— - Leave it, Eddie.

See you in the pool then.

Frank?

Frank?

- Frank?
- Frank?

- Frank, where are you going?
- [Groaning]

- [Eddie] Frank.
- [Joan] Oh, my God.

- [Groaning]
- Here, man. Here.

Get an ambulance, Joan.
Get an ambulance, Joan.

Please, no!

- You're all right, man. You're all right.
- Get out of my way!

It's okay. He's
okay. Dad's fine.

It was a panic attack.
That's what the doctor said.

What? A panic attack.

Only don't mention it
when he comes out.

Okay, let's go.

Eddie rang me.
Eddie's got a big mouth.

- He was worried.
- I slipped, okay?

- Can I get money for a can of Coke?
- You collapsed.

- No, we're not allowed.
- Mum says you had a panic attack.

I slipped and fell.
It happens, okay?

- What are you asking me for? Sorry.
- Have you got money for a can of Coke?

No. No. I don't have any money.

Do you have your purse?
No, I don't have my purse.

Right. Ask your dad for the
money. How do I get out of here?

Down there. Where?
Right, left? Where?

That way, Frank.
Right. I'll find it.

I'm sorry, love.

Come on, boys, let's go.

What's the matter with
you? You shouldn't...

You could have said hello.
You should not have told him.

[Bell Dings] Hands.

Is Pappy all right?

Of course he is.

Do you like Pappy?

Pappy and I are just different.

Pappy doesn't like you.

Oh, look who it
is. Frank's little girl.

[Snickers]

[Man] Got our fish suppers
ready yet, Chinaman?

Oh, God love us. He's a real
chatterbox tonight, isn't he?

[ Laughing]

Tell you what— I've
changed my mind.

I fancy a curry.

[Man] See you Tuesday.

Just a bag of
chips, please, Chan.

Heard about your
dad. I'm, uh, sorry.

Okay, Chan? Frank. All right?

Good book?

It's for my wife.

It's about cooking.

What are you looking for?

Don't know.

But whatever it
is, it's not in here.

[Joan] He doesn't know what
to do with himself anymore.

More than I can say for you,
driving a bus. Have you told him yet?

No. Don't want to give him
anything else to worry about.

He's gonna find
out sooner or later.

He's shut me out again,
Michelle, like when Stuart...

It won't last long. Are things
better with him and Rob?

Not really.

Hey. Hiya.

- Bag of chips, please.
- Okay.

- Is your dad around?
- No.

Salt and vinegar?

Please.

[Laughter On TV]

Oh! Hi, Frank. Come on in.

I'm just off to work.

Tom Cruise is in the front room.

Eddie, it's Frank.
He's got chips.

[Man On TV] Our industrious little
beetle is about to meet someone...

altogether more—
I've seen this before.

Let's call him—
That wee beetle...

pushes that big ball of shite for what
is the equivalent of six miles for him.

Then, just as he gets
to where he's going,

another beetle comes...

and steals it from
under his nose.

It's what happens.
Wait, you'll see.

Six miles.

Poor bastard.

They'll have you shoveling
shit. You know that?

I know.

You still coming on the
booze cruise to France?

It'll do us good.

I can see myself
on the ship now...

Captain Eddie Fraser.

Beer in hand, and
the sea air in my lungs.

- [Squawking]
- Oh, Eddie, that seagull's
eating your puke.

He caught it in the air. That
seagull caught it in the air.

Puke again, Eddie.
Go on, puke again.

[ Laughing] Brilliant, that.

[Chattering]

All right?

Bloody hell. You can
see France already.

Isn't very far, is it?

Near enough to swim.

I wish I had. [Sniffs]

[ Laughing]

[Eddie] Frank?

Frank?

You all right?

How mad would you
have to be to swim this?

Totally.

How far is it to France?
We're in France, you dipstick.

Yeah, I know we're in France,
but how far is it from Britain?

[Man] Twenty miles, give
or take the odd oil tanker.

[Danny] Twenty miles, eh?
How do they measure that?

[ Michelle] They look very
small from here, don't they?

They are very small, love.

It's just us women like to
shrink when we get near them.

You can't just swim across
one of the busiest shipping

routes in the world
'cause the fancy takes you.

Who'd you show your
passport to? Punch and Judy?

- The deck chair man.
- I was a deck chair man for a day.

- Only a day?
- Wasn't what I was expecting.

[Michelle] Did you tell
him yet? No. God, no.

I will. He won't like it. He'll think
it's to do with him losing his job.

And he'll like it even less
when he finds out the truth...

That it's got absolutely
nothing to do with him at all.

[Man] Sorry to pull you back
to the yard like this, Frank.

It's a small, little matter. I
just need to prove something.

I know you must be busy.

You know these guys, Frank.

So? I've told you...

I didn't see anything.

He must have been desperate.

He's going to get nothing.

He used the wrong hand.

He's right-handed.

Duncan?

He crossed hands
to operate the press.

Okay.

You should have been more
loyal to the company, Frank.

You wouldn't know
what loyalty is.

[ Laughs] Loyalty is a full wage
packet at the end of the week.

Loyalty is being valued.

Being happy with yourself.

You happy with yourself, Frank?

Who do you think you are?

You seriously think you can
intimidate people into being loyal to you?

There's not a man in this yard
would piss on you if you were on fire.

[Man] Hi, Frank.
Can't keep away, eh?

[Inhales Deeply]

[ Exhales]

I knocked a vase
over. Which one?

The one with the crack in it?

No, the other one.

Will it fix?

I need to go and get changed.

[Sloshing]

So what if you swam the
Clyde? It doesn't prove anything.

Channel's a completely
different thing.

Think you could then, Frank?

I know I could. [Eddie] Look.

You got made redundant.

You should just face up
to it, like everyone else.

Face up to it?

Like you did, Eddie?

That's a lot of reading.
That's a lot of swimming.

You think I'm wasting my time?

"A gem cannot be
polished without friction,

nor a man perfected
without trials."

Is that a yes or a no?

When do we start?

Hey, hey, hey.

What have we forgotten?

What's this?

You know you're not
allowed. In you go.

I'll see you at 3:30.

Bye. Bye!

- Hiya, Son.
- Dad.

Okay?

You?

- Yeah, good.
- Busy?

Aye.

You used to have one
of them. Remember?

Yeah.

They had one each, but
they're always losing them.

I was going to go for a
coffee. Wanna come?

I'd better not. Got to
get on. Maybe next time.

Aye.

Promised Michelle
I'd fix this for her.

Just wanted to see
what was inside.

Now it doesn't seem to
want to go back together.

Things aren't meant
to be fixed nowadays.

No.

Not by you anyway.

[Chuckling]

How's work?

[Sighs]

What was it Sausage Finger
said today? Something funny.

No, I can't remember. It was
funny anyway, whatever it was.

The thing that he
said, it was funny.

I'm gonna swim it, Ed.

I know you are.

[Door Opens, Closes]

Oh, my, that's a lot of
reading. It's a lot of swimming.

Probably mentions sharks.
Does it mention sharks, Frank?

[ Eddie] There's no sharks in the
Channel. [Danny] There's this one shark—

When they opened it up, they found
a portable telly and a box of condoms.

- They did not.
- Don't tell me the telly was still on.

Look. It's important they take
this seriously and do it properly,

or you may as well not bother.

Bloody hell. Bugger me.

Are you coming,
or are you going?

[All] Sorry, Frank.

To start with, there's
the training schedule.

- I don't mean to be rude, Chan— - A list
of things we need to do to set the swim up.

But I didn't think you could speak
English. I didn't think you could speak.

Danny. First, we need
to register the swim.

I've only ever heard you
say about three words,

and two of them were
"salt" and "vinegar."

For the love of God, will
you let the man speak?

Sorry, Chan. Next we have to
get a boat and an experienced pilot.

How about Merv? He's got a boat.

Merv the Perv's got a boat?

It's one of them daft, pointy ones.
It's all chrome and shiny plastic.

No, I don't want to talk to
Merv. It's got a dinky, wee bar.

Does it go fast though?
Like shit off a stick.

[Eddie] Two years—
That's what it takes.

I want to do it in six months.

Will you have time to help me?

Aye.

Ed, I would have asked you, but I
didn't think you would have the time.

Aye. Well...

Chan is probably better at this
sort of thing than me anyway.

Look, guys, uh— Do me a favor, and
can we just keep this to ourselves?

Sure. Aye.

Is he in? Aye.
He's in the kitchen.

Right. [Doorbell Rings]

Good evening,
Joan. Hello, Norman.

I've got a cake. Oh. Very nice.

[Doorbell Rings]

Hello, Mrs. Redmond. Hello.

It's Danny. Danny
Campbell. Ah. Right.

You want Frank?
He's in the kitchen.

[Doorbell Rings]

Come in.

He's in the kitchen.

[Chattering, Laughing]

[ No Audible Dialogue]

[Chattering]

Keep your eyes
open, James. In here.

On you go. [Grunts]

All right, Rob? Hey,
Danny. How's things?

Aw, not bad. Skint.
No job, no girlfriend.

And I've been wearing big
Janine’s knickers since last February.

I can't complain.
It's not easy, that...

Doing a woman's
job. [Boy Cries Out]

Here, I'll leave you to it.

Rather you than me.

You okay? Yeah.

[Joan] Leave it
alone, you big numpty.

And try to stay on your feet.

I saw Dad down the pool again.
What's he up to? Swimming.

It seems he's there all
the time. It does him good.

Away you go.

How did they both
manage to fall over?

Practice. [Chuckles]

Can we go up to our
room? Yes, you can.

I didn't know you had this.

Angela dug it out.

It's a good sand boat.

That's all you ever wanted to make,
both of you. Must be in your blood.

Biscuit?

- I go up there now and then.
- Hmm. I know.

Mum?

I failed my bus test.

[Splashing]

That's not bad.

Time's faster and you're getting
more distance from the strokes.

But it's still a long
way from the real thing.

You'd be better at
bus driving than me.

I thought about it.
Kept seeing those ads.

So, why didn't you tell us?

There's no sugar in this.

Can you take it again?
You get three goes.

You should try for
it. You'd be good.

What, and have Angela give up
work? She earns twice what I could.

I've said before, I
can help with the twins.

And I've said before,
they're my kids.

If I'm not prepared to look after
them, then we shouldn't have had them.

What? You're like your dad.

You wait right here
at this side of the pool.

Right, go beside Campbell.

Good boy.

Aaron, when you get to the
side of the pool, just stop and wait.

Whoop.

Hold on, Jonathan.

You okay? You okay? [Woman]
He's all right. He's all right.

I'm all right. It's the way he swims.
It's okay. Just leave him. Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes!

- Yes!
- Did you see that, big man?

You call that swimming?

Aye.

[Chuckling]

Have you got a name?

Aaron.

Good name.

Good swimmer.

[Angela] Rob, hurry up.

Come on, let's go.
He's probably not here.

You said he comes down here all
the time. Unless you don't want to.

No, I'm coming. And I
didn't say, "All of the time."

I said, "Some of the
time," smart-arse.

Where are you going
to? All right, Frank?

All right, Danny.

Who's that? I used
to work with him.

[Giggling]

Okay. Okay.

[Rob] Who's gonna
be first? No cheating.

[ Laughing] You
got a head start.

Ah, my toe. I stubbed my toe.

Who won the race? You.

[ Laughing, Chattering]

[Rob] Whose clothes are who here?
[Angela] Is there anyone else in here?

No, no. You're safe.

Will you come out of there?
Why are you hiding in there?

[ Laughing] You've got
the shampoo? Oh, have I?

Why do men's changing rooms
always smell of P-I-S-S? You're lucky.

Normally they smell of S-H-I-T.

What does that spell?

[Chattering, Laughing]

[Rob] All right,
clothes on. Who's first?

[Angela] Come on.
Let's get dressed. T-shirt.

Your cold. You're
freezing. [Chattering]

See you Monday.

Excuse me.

See you Monday.

[Sighs]

[Danny] Just the three. Danny.

Get his change right, Shirley.
He'll be watching the pennies.

It's not even May. You can't go
swimming outdoors this time of year.

I've got to get colder. I'm
going to Loch Lomond tomorrow.

There's frost forecast tonight.

I think we should all do
it. Lend a bit of morale.

I'll do it. Sounds like a
laugh. What about you, Eddie?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Count me in. Not
me. I support much better when I'm dry.

I'm more your dry kind of
supporter. Nice cake, Norman.

Yeah, less salt this time.

[All Shouting]

- Here we go!
- [Chattering, Laughing]

Oh, Eddie, where are you going?

No. Oh, no. Eddie, come on.

No. Get off me.

[Chattering Continues]

[Eddie] Oh! Oh! I've
got piles! [Groans]

[Danny] Hold on, Frank!

I'll be right with you!

[Pool Balls Clack]

Don't worry, son.
It'll grow back.

It better had. I'm
playing football later on.

Here we go, lads. Nice
cold beers to warm you up.

[Chattering]

- Hey, salange.
- [All] Salange.

The fire of the crucible.

God. What is the "fire of the
crucible"? A Chinese proverb.

From now on you
have to train in the cold.

Not only that, you have to swim
25 miles a week, six days a week.

- [Laughs]
- Here. I've got one for you, Chan.

Man who walks through airport
turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok.

How do you know
he's going to Bangkok?

[Danny] Bang cock.

Bang cock.

[Chan] Listen. We still
need to get ahold of a boat...

- so we can support Frank
in the water.
- I told you, Merv the Perv's got a boat.

- But do you think he'd let us
have a go on it?
- I don't see why not.

He'd let you have a go
with his wife. [Laughter]

Bang cock. Bang cock.

[Laughter]

Oh, no, I can't.

I thought I could, but I can't.

I'll see you at the
bus stop. [Man] Hey!

Hey, over here. Come on.

Don't be shy. Give it a try.

Merv, it's Frank.

Can I have a word? [ Muffled]

Hiya, Frank. Hey,
Vera, it's Frank.

[Vera, Muffled] Hi, Vera.

[Merv] How’s Joan?
Joan's—She's—She's fine. She's—Yeah.

- [Vera, Muffled]
- Oh, she's still after Joan’s recipe
for that lemon cheesecake.

I'll remind her.

Listen. I'm sorry.
Is this a bad time?

- 'Cause, I mean, I could
come back later.
- No, it's great, Frank. It's great.

Norman says you've got a boat.

I was wondering if
maybe we could borrow it.

[Engine Purring]
I want to shag it!

- Merv probably has.
- You sure you know
what you're doing?

Of course I do. I used
to be in the Sea Cadets.

Bit different to a leaky
canoe on the Clyde, this.

Don't worry. I'll be careful.

- Yeah, well, just make sure you are.
- Are you not coming, Norman?

Get on there with the missing link at
the helm? You're joking, aren't you?

No. Uh, I'll leave it till I find
my sea legs. Next time maybe.

[Chan] Help! Slow down!

Right then.

[ Engine Cranking]

- Aw, you flooded it.
- I'll fix it. Just give us a minute.

[ Eddie] Norman! Help!

Norman!

- [ Engine Guns]
- [Yelling]

Oh!

Oh, shite!

[ Laughing]

Oh, sh— [Yells]

[Screaming]

Keep your eye on that, will you?

What's on your mind, son?

I've been thinking. What with?

I was thinking...

I could have a go
at the Channel too.

Yeah? Yeah.

What do you think?

You think you're up to it?

Oh, yeah. Definitely.

Yeah? Definitely.

[Chattering]

[Danny] All right, Rob?

Evening, Janine.

Pint of lager, please, eight
packets of crisps— assorted flavors—

No prawn cocktail,
two pork pies,

three ham sandwiches and
a pint of Guinness, please.

I'm in training— Swimming.

- I've got to bulk up.
- You're swimming?

Training, but I'm getting
mentally prepared.

I'm in mental training.

So how's things with you then?

The same.

How's the big fella?

What? Your little boy.

He fell on his arse the last
time I saw you. Oh, yeah.

He's all right. He
does it all the time.

He bounces back
quick enough. Oh, yeah.

They're very bouncy—kids.

Like balls... or castles.

Still, it's gotta be the most
difficult job in the world, that,

being a dad.

Probably why mine left us.

But you don't miss what
you never had, do you?

Make sure you stay
in front of him, Frank.

If the water suddenly gets warm,

that'll be Danny.

How many of those
have you eaten?

Oh, just the one.
Well, get rid of it.

Right, okay. Don't
do anything stupid.

If you get into trouble,
what do you do?

Go to the boat. Yeah?

All right. Now, remember,
we're not superheroes.

I hear you. I'm
good. Okay, let's go.

What's that?

Jellyfish.

They're fine. They're fine.

Come on!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Colder than last time.
Danny, slow down.

Come on! Here we
go! Danny. Hey, Danny.

Watch this. Pace yourself.

[Woman On Tape] You
are king of the jungle.

I'm a lion. [Imitates Lion]

Now repeat after me—

[Grunts]

[Gasps]

Right. Here you go, Frank.

Why can't they just hold
on to the boat and get it?

Frank wants to do it right.

If they touch the boat,
the swim won't count.

[Groaning]

[Gasping, Groaning]

- [Yelling]
- [Taped Voice Distorted]

[ Honking Horn]

[Honking Continues]

- [Groaning]
- Eddie!

He's got cramps! Start the
boat, Chan! Start the boat!

- Danny! Danny, hold on!
- Danny!

- Hold on, Danny!
- [ Engine Cranking]

It won't start.

[Gasping, Groaning]

[Groaning] It's okay.
Calm down. Take it easy.

[Coughing, Groaning]

[ Breathing Heavily]

- What did the doctor say?
- It's fine.

The doctor says he's gonna
be all right. No thanks to you.

He looks to you like a dad.

You should have stopped him.

It wasn't Frank's fault, Ma. I will
not have him go in the water again.

Ma, it was my own fault.

I just wanted to be
the man for once.

Olympic superstar.
Nike sponsorship.

Just be the man, you know?

Like you.

I didn't want you
to be disappointed.

I was when I found out it was
Eddie that gave me the kiss of life.

- You going training now?
- Mm.

Put some down for me, will you?

He can help out... on
the boat or something.

But he wears a life jacket
if he's anywhere near you.

So his mother's not too happy
then? I should have stopped him.

Remember you stopped Rob swimming
in here that time? Yeah, he was seven.

He cursed like mad when I pulled
him out 'cause his mates were watching.

Jumped right back in again.

Oh, you know, if I had
disobeyed my father at that age,

he'd have beat
the hell out of me.

But I loved him.

I've never hit Rob...
ever. Not once.

We never can find two
words to say to each other.

Seems like
everything's backwards.

[Chattering] [Clock Ticking]

Why don't we just take a
chance? Go down to Dover.

It's a long way to go for nothing
if we don't find somebody.

You said yourself, if you don't
find a pilot, you can't swim.

Okay, okay, I'll go there later
this week. I'll come for the ride.

Get a saver. Should be
cheap enough. Take Danny too.

[Snoring] Make sure he
brings his water wings this time.

It said "apply thickly."

[Eddie] Maybe we overdid it.

I'm sorry. Oh! Was it the lorry?

Mm-hmm. But he
swerved first. Lunatic.

Mrs. Redmond, you
need to be more— [Scoffs]

I'll let you go one more time.

There we are.

Right. I've just had a
word with the barmaid.

Apparently there is
a guy that can do it.

Goes by the name of Mad Bob.

Mad Bob?

- He doesn't sound normal.
- Oh, he sounds friggin' nuts.

Is he here? You
lookin' for a boat?

- We might be.
- Either you are or you're not.

We are.

- So it's you that's gonna be swimmin'?
- Mm-hmm.

If you can't beat me, you
ain't the man to do the swim.

And I ain't the man to take you.

I take it you're Mad Bob.

We go on three.

[Inhales Deeply] One,

two,

three.

850 the crossing, 200
hundred deposit, no refunds.

But we get to see your boat?

- What for?
- We get to see the boat.

Righty-ho, you
get to see the boat.

Shark, 35-footer.

Fell off my bike, two-wheeler.

Let's go.

[ Mad Bob] There she is.

Is this yours?

[Frank] It's all right.

It's good. Yeah, very nice.

[Chan] There you go, fellas, tea's
up. [Frank] What date is it today?

[Eddie] Twenty-second of
June. [Chan] Aye, it's the 22nd.

[Norman] Hang on. You sure?

[Norman] Is that
a two or a five?

Yeah, it's the 22nd.

[Together] One, two, three.

[Rob] Blow! [All Cheering]

♪ For they are jolly good fellows
For they are jolly good fellows ♪

♪ For they are
jolly good fellows ♪

♪ And so say all of us
And so say all of us ♪

Where were you?
Sorry, I got held up.

I'll get you some food.
No, it's fine. I've, uh...

And a nice big piece
of cake. [Chattering]

Were you waiting for me? [Boy]
Can I open my present now?

They were.

It's fine. It worked out better.
Come on, let's go crazy!

[Children Yelling, Screaming]

Hey. [Whistles]

Here. So what did you get them?

[Frank] The kids? Since
when did I do the shopping?

Your mother likes
to get those things.

You got them those racetracks.

Mom still likes to do that thing,
you know, where she signs the card...

and makes it look like
you've signed it too.

How's your swimming coming on?

I heard you're gonna
swim the English Channel.

I didn't tell her. You
were right not to.

Why? Because you heard wrong.

I heard that Danny parked
Merv's boat halfway up the beach.

And I heard that you were planning
to swim the Channel this summer.

Danny gets carried away.

- Saw you down at the library.
- I like reading.

Saw you down at the
pool. I like swimming.

[Chuckles] What?

I'm gonna get some
jelly before it's all gone.

You can have
another go, can't you?

I just can't seem to
concentrate lately.

You told him at last then? No,
it's not that. It's something else.

I think he might
be having an affair.

[ Laughing]

But he's acting so odd.

I'm sorry. That's
just daft. I mean...

Well, there's Vera. [Laughing]

It's not funny. She
rang last week and...

It's probably just got
something to do with the boat.

- What boat?
- The boat.

The lads are borrowin' a boat
to help Frank swim the Channel.

What channel?

Thank you.

Nice. Mm.

You know, we were
talking about buying a car.

Mm. I fixed the
wing mirror back on.

Well, Michelle says Arthur
Hall is selling his Metro. It's red.

I thought we said a new car
could wait? No, we didn't. You did.

We have to be careful
with the money from now on.

Michelle says the
insides are just like new.

She also says you've been
borrowing Merv's boat...

to help you train to
swim the Channel.

The English Channel. And I was wondering
when you were thinking about telling me.

I was also wondering how it
is we can't afford a new car,

but you can afford to pay for a boat
to show you the way to bloody France.

I'd be worried about you trying to swim
all that way, Frank, if I wasn't so angry.

I've never asked you
for anything, Frank,

but honesty was
something I took for granted.

[Birds Chirping]

[Clanging]

[Clanging Continues]

Well, look who it is,
three wise monkeys.

Hey, Rob, your dad's just
got a few more lengths to do.

Why don't we wait for him
outside? I know about his little secret.

I just wanna talk to him. Is that
all right? No, no, no, come on.

- Eddie— - Hey! Hey!

You're a liar, Dad.

You lied to me about
swimming the Channel.

Maybe I did.

Why?

Is it because I don't have
a job? It's not about you.

Because I look after the twins?
I'm not ashamed of that, Dad!

I'm not ashamed like
you think I should be!

Good! You're not ashamed!

No, but you are.

You're the one who's ashamed!

I'm not listening to this. Why? What
are you afraid of? Afraid I'll drown?

Look at me, I'm drowning!

Thirty-six years!
Thirty-six years!

Twelve hours a day,
five days a week!

Now you tell me, when was
I supposed to go shopping!

[Coughs]

[Coughs]

[ Breathing Heavily]

He'll be okay. Just
needs time to cool off.

We need to make sure you
keep up the times tomorrow.

No. What?

No.

I can't do it.
[Eddie] But, Frank—

I can't do it.

He's right. Come
on, Frank, come on.

I'm not going to be swimming.

[ Engine Off]

Your father didn't
mean to hurt you.

I was married once.

Her name was Bridget.

She left me for a jam salesman.

She never even liked jam.

I didn't bother with
women again after that.

I was always too scared the
same thing would happen all over.

If anyone tried to get close,
I just pushed them away.

Your father did the same thing with
you after the accident, pushed you away.

He blames me.

No, he doesn't. He
blames himself. Always has.

Now you're soakin' the
seat, and it's leather. It'll stain.

[Dog Barking In Distance]

All that way, Frank.

I thought we were
too old for secrets.

Like learning how
to drive a bus?

There was an ad in the paper.

I failed twice.

But I'm going to take it
again. I'm not givin' up.

[Chattering] Let's just
play when it smashes.

All right, you ready? You
take that one, all right?

One, two—

[Angela] We're not
catching the train, James.

There's no point in racing.
I've got the keys, remember.

- Pappy.
- Shh.

- Are you playing a game?
- Yeah.

[Angela] Don't make
me come back out.

You better go inside.

Is it a secret? Yeah.

Like Daddy's wee brother?

He says we mustn't talk about
him, that it makes you sad.

Does it make you sad?

Sometimes.

- I won't tell.
- Good boy.

Are you going to
swim the Channel?

I don't know. What do you think?

Dad says it's too dangerous.

What is the Channel?

It's the sea between
England and France.

[Sighs] Are there any sharks?

No sharks.

- Crocodiles?
- Mm-mm.

- Piranhas?
- Bananas?

- Piranhas.
- Piranhas.

No, no piranhas.

It doesn't sound too
dangerous to me then.

[Angela] I'll count to five.

I can swim like a fish.

[Plastic Rustling]

[Angela] Are you stopping out here
all day, or are you planning to come in?

[Door Closes]

Hey, big man, you not swimmin'?

Yes!

That's five pounds you owe
me. I told you he'd be here.

We're a delegation.

A delegation?

It's a kind of a gang.
Thanks for that, Danny.

Does the delegation
have a proposal?

Yeah. We think
you're wrong to give up.

Now we've come this far.

We also think you are a big daft
bollocks for giving— You see that?

See that little
lad with red hair?

It takes everything out of him
just to swim one width. Just one.

He won't take any help,

and he never gives up... ever.

And when he gets to the
other side— [Aaron] Yes!

I'm not givin' up.

That toilet needs
cleaning again.

- Do it yourself.
- [Mop Hits Floor]

[Chattering]

Take it steady.

All right, ladies? Pam.

- Oh, my God!
- All right, love.

Nearly finished?

Only I thought we might go out.

You mean together?

Oh, aye. You and me. Me and you.

Excuse me.

Please don't drop
the bags. They split.

Oh, aye.

Sorry, pal.

- See you Wednesday.
- See you Wednesday.

I nearly drowned. We heard.

In the sea? What were
you doing in the sea?

I don't know. Do you
wanna go out with me?

- Yeah.
- Good.

That's good.

Happy days.

[Man On Radio, Indistinct]

[Continues, Indistinct]

You smell of chlorine.

Like Dad when he was laid out.

He used to smell of
oil and Woodbines.

[Man On Radio
Continues, Indistinct]

I was 16.

You came down to talk
to Dad about something.

I couldn't believe how
handsome you were.

I'm learning to drive a bus.

And then, if I pass,
I'm going to drive a bus.

It'll be my job. A proper job.

Driving a bus.

I'm going up.

So should you. You
have a big day tomorrow.

Thanks for the sandwiches.

Good luck.

That, uh, time... when I
came to see your father,

I didn't.

I came to see you.

[Door Opens, Closes]

[Danny] I spy with my
little eye, something

beginning with— You'll
never get this— "A."

[Frank] Air freshener. No.

[Eddie]Ambulance. No.
You may get it, Norman.

Why? 'Cause you're nearer it.

You could say
you’re on it. I'm on it?

Kind of. Arse.

No. 'Cause you'd have
that as well, unless it

was Norman's arse.
Leave my arse out of this.

And that would be N-A.

[Chuckles]

[Bird Squawking]

You okay with heights?

Yeah. You?

Oh, yeah. You sure?

Mm-hmm.

[Frank] I was
thinking about Joan.

I should have told her.

Don't know what I was hiding.

- Maybe we should leave him alone.
- Why? We should be there for him.

What if he doesn't want us there?
Oh, you're as pigheaded as your father.

Of course he wants us there.
He just doesn't know how to ask.

But he's not going to
achieve anything by it.

How do you know?

Because he's not going to bring
Stuart back by swimming the Channel.

Oh, Rob.

It's not Stuart he wants back.

I'm away.

Mom, thanks for the toys.

Oh, it's okay.

What toys?

[Flatulence] [Danny]
Better out than in, right?

[Eddie] For God's sake.

[Norman] One more of them
and you’re sleeping in the car.

[Laughter]

[Frank] I knew a guy
once... could fart in German.

[Laughter]

[Ship's Horn Blows]

[ Doorbell Rings]

You took your time.

I'm sittin' in the front.

The observer fellow
seems all right.

Right, it's 5:00. Let's get
crackin'. Okay, don't forget.

Don't touch the boat
or anyone on it once you

get going, or it will
invalidate your swim.

When you get to France,
get all the way onto dry land,

pick up a stone and
bring it back to the boat.

- Okay.
- Good luck.

Thank you. Thank you. Well, go.

Good luck, mate.
Good luck, Frank.

Thanks, lads.

Right.

- See youse.
- You're not joining us?

No, I don't float
very well. Me neither.

Okay.

[Boat Engine Revving]

[ Bug Buzzing]

Come on, Frank! That's the way!

Ah, we'll be there
in no time, Frank.

The right and the left.

One, two, three, four! Oh!

I'm all right, Frank.
I'm all right. Carry on.

You passed, didn't you?

I thought you'd never
ask. Well done, Mom.

Congratulations.
That's brilliant.

Well, I think we should
celebrate with a gumdrop.

- The fumes are killing me.
- I can't help that.

I'm keeping this close
to keep you on course.

[Frank] I can't breathe!

- I'll go ahead.
- Well, what bloody use will I be then?

Stupid bastard. Bloody fool!

[Woman On Tape] I am confident.

I am confident. I am a lion.

I am a lion. I'm not
a timorous beastie.

I'm a lion!

[Inhales Deeply]

[Eddie] He's doing
great, isn't he?

No, he's not. At this rate, he's not gonna
make it to the Cap before the ebb tide.

And if he doesn't, he's gonna
get swept back out to sea.

Isn't that being a bit
bleak? No, he's right.

[Bob] Look, I'll pick up the pace
and he's gonna have to keep up.

[Eddie] Bloody hell. [Chan] Better
do some hypothermia checks.

Can we get closer to him?

Frank, where are
you swimming from?

England.

- Where in England?
- Dover.

- What day is it?
- What?

- What day is it?
- Thursday.

He seems all right.

[Joan] Come on.

I didn't think to ask where in
France he was swimming to.

There, that's where
he's swimming to.

- [Angela] How do you know?
- Pappy showed me.

- When did Pappy show you?
- I'm not telling you.

[Radio Chatter]

[Bob] How many times
did you try it yourself?

Three. Did you ever make it?

Third time lucky.

[Birds Squawking]

There it is, sortie, way out.

What is it? Ebb tide.

[Bob] It's dragging him back out.
[Eddie] What if he can't beat it?

Can't we do anything?

- He's in for the long haul.
- He won't be able to last that long.

Yes, he will. [Chan] He won't.
His body temperature is dropping.

If he doesn't make this beach,
he's not gonna make it at all.

[Eddie] Frank! You've only
three miles to go, Frank!

I know you're hurtin', but you gotta
swim faster, Frank. The tide's against you.

Frank, you gotta
swim faster. Come on!

[ Bird Squawking]

You can do it, Frank.

You can do it.

[ Birds Squawking]

[ Breathing Heavily]

[Yells]

[Frank] Stay there. Stay there. Don't
move! Don’t you move from there!

- [Sobbing]
- [Clanging]

[Clanging Continues] Stop that.

- Stop it.
- [Squawking]

- [Grunts]
- [Sobbing]

Come on, Frank, come on.

[Gasps]

- Is he all right?
- [Yells]

[Joan] No!

[Yells]

- Bloody hell.
- [ Revs Engine]

I need to come out, lads.

What do you think you're doing?

Why don't you just take it slower
for a wee while. See if it passes.

I'm sorry, Chan.
I can't do it, mate.

You're nearly there.
Look, it's not far.

- I can't do it.
- [Observer] Frank, your body's hurting
because you're beginning to burn fat.

It won't last though. If you carry on,
you'll get through it. [Danny] Yeah, Frank.

It's just a pain barrier.
It's all in your mind.

- Get me out. It's too far.
- Bollocks. It's always been this far.

- Well, you come in and swim it then!
- Fine. Get on board, we can all go home.

All my life I've looked up
to you, Frank. All my life.

I never saw you back down
from anything. It's too far.

I'm nobody, me, I know that.

But I'm not daft. I see
what's going on here.

Out here in the
middle of nowhere.

But he's not here, is he, Frank?

He never was.

It's taken you 23
years to find that out.

So what now?

Well, I'll tell you what now.

You get back to swimming, and
you shut up about how far it is.

And you shut up
about how much it hurts.

Because you don't have
a choice. You never did.

So, come on.

Get stuck in and put some down.

We're wasting time.

I'll go on then.

It's him! No, I can't
see for sure, but—

Yeah, that's Frank! That's
Frank! Let me see! Let me see!

That's Frank in the water.

Right there. Can you see him?

[Rob] Come on. Let's go.

Come on. I need
to be there, Mum.

Come on, Mum.

My God.

[ Breathing Heavily]

[Cheering]

Yes.

If he touches him before he gets
out of the water, it won't count.

It won't be recognized. The
swim won't be recognized.

[All Yelling] Don't!

- Don't touch him! Rob!
- Let him get out of the water.

What's he want?

[Sobbing] Come on.

What?

Did I miss something?

[ Laughing, Cheering]

Yes!

Come on.

Come on! [Yells]

[ Laughing]

[Danny] We made it!
We swam the Channel!

Frank! [ Laughing]

[All] Norman!

I took the ferry.

Get the stone! Get the stone!

Let him get the
stone. Pick up a stone.

[All Cheering]