On Guard (1997) - full transcript

ON GUARD!

En garde!

Thank you, gentlemen. Free play.

Don't hurt each other.

Fencing is the art
of conversation between arms.

We teach survival here.
For killing, go elsewhere.

Hey, Uncle!

Halt!

- My lord...
- Master Cocardasse?

May I introduce my nephew,
Lagardère.

Hadn't you enlisted?



Discharged, my lord.

- But service is 7 years.
- I killed a colonel.

My compliments.

My colonel.

- Over a woman.
- Justifiable.

His wife.

What do you want?

To learn your secret.

My secret?

The Nevers Attack.
Grant me the honor of a duel.

How presumptuous!

Do you agree?

En garde, then!

Stand back, gentlemen.



En garde.

Begin, gentlemen.

- He stops, blows his nose...!
- He's a duke.

That's it, let your blood boil.

Fine!

Fine!

That's enough now.

Observe closely...

Upon the count of 5

he's a dead man.

1... 2... 3...

4...

5! You'd be dead.

- A great honor for us, Your Grace!
- Don't mention it.

The Duke d'Orleans... here?

I have to be somewhere.

Oh, cousin!

Cousin.

- Once more, my lord...
- Enough!

My friends!

I, Philippe de Nevers and
my cousin Philippe de Gonzague...

Where is Gonzague?

In the background, as usual.

We present

our royal cousin,
Philippe d'Orleans,

with this sword forged by Ramon
de Heredia of Toledo.

Nicely balanced...

a mite heavy, but magnificent.
Thank you, cousin.

Try it out. I recommend him...

He's left-handed.

- Why not?
- Me?

Not so much as a scratch!
He's the better man.

Why?

Because he's on kissing terms
with his uncle, the King.

We won't stand on ceremony.
Let us see your skill.

I slipped on a macaroon.

Someone finds my slipping
on a macaroon amusing?

Too heavy. I make you a gift
of your gift, Nevers.

What is this young bundle
of nerves called?

Lagardère, my lord.

I shall remember the name.

Help me!

- You're hurting me.
- It's good luck to touch your hump.

To touch, not beat.

Keep an eye on him.

I have no intention
of spending my life standing

in the background.

The Mississippi
is a golden opportunity, cousin.

It would cost little
to buy the regions

between the English lands
and the warm seas of the Louisiana.

A mere quarter of your fortune!

The land there
is incredibly fertile,

sparsely inhabited by savages

who can be bought with rum
and medals.

I can guarantee a 10-to-1 profit.

Money! That's all you talk about.

Are we shopkeepers?

I won't appear at the Princess'
with horsehair over my ears!

Our duty is to perish
fighting for the King's glory.

To die in our prime is our right!

The King says we can trade overseas
if we don't demean ourselves.

You are my sole heir, alas.

But have patience. A stray
cannonball or a luckless duel

and you are a rich man!

Speaking of expenses,
Mauronvert is for sale.

Mauronvert cured
a toothache with his pistol.

Now his chateau is for sale.

I want it. I simply love chateaux!

But, cousin, the Mississippi!

Don't forget...

Mauronvert! I want it!

Hey, you...

Good evening, sir.
What do you want?

- A letter for the Duke de Nevers.
- Give.

For the Duke in person.

Gonzague sees to these matters.
Wait here.

Wait here, please!

Greetings.
I'm a close friend of the Duke's.

- I'll deliver it.
- For the Duke in person.

Damn, you stink like your horse!

I've been riding 5 days.
I don't stink,

- I smell of horse.
- Who sent you?

Blanche de Caylus. It's a secret.

Go have a drink.
I can deliver your letter.

I told you: in person.

I may gamble at cards tonight.

Very well, my lord.

My lord, it's me!

Him again!

This letter for a duel!

- Throw him out! The cudgel!
- Careful, my lord!

I have a quick temper.
I kill lackeys like the rest.

Enough! The rod!

Take this letter to Gonzague.

The messenger said "in person,"
my lord...

It's from Blanche de Caylus.

Blanche de Caylus!

Release him.

I don't read much. Do you?

I get by.

"My ten-der love...

"Did you receive
my pre-vious let-ters?"

What letters? Read quicker!

I get little practice.
You're a funny one.

"This is the 12th letter

"I have written you in 12 months.

"You promised me undying love."

"You kept your promise
without meaning to.

"Your undying love

"weighs 8 lbs and has emerald eyes."

What was that?

It's clear enough. A baby.

Read on.

"My father

"is in a towering rage.

"He threatens me

"with the convent. I beseech
you to at least save our child.

"Your despairing

"Blanche de Caylus."

I have a son?

Or a daughter.

For generations,
the Nevers have only had sons.

Where is my son mentioned?

"Your undying love weighs 8 lbs

"and has emerald eyes."

And I didn't know.

What became of her other letters?

I thought she had forgotten me.

I was in despair, like her.

It hardly showed, my lord.

I don't make a spectacle
of my feelings.

I leave tomorrow for Caylus
to wed Blanche.

Thank you for the son
you've given me.

Cousin, great news!

I am to marry. Guess who?
Blanche de Caylus!

Are you distressed? Still love her?

Forget her.

I almost forgot: she gave me a son.
You're no longer my heir.

But I'll double your pension.
You will love this child.

You must love him.

File this letter and find out
what became of the others.

He robs me of Blanche's love.

He disinherits me,

and expects to fob me off
with a few alms.

Find me Peyrolles.

That one, Peyrolles.

- A fine sword.
- The young fellow?

That's the man we need.

My guts are on fire.

How much for your sword arm?

- By the month? Or the hour?
- Just tonight.

I can't tonight, my good man.

Not for 100 crowns?

For 100 crowns,
I'd run anyone through.

What? You'd sell your services
for a ruffian's wage?

- You insult the craft.
- Not even for 200.

- 300 would be reasonable.
- You're worth 400.

100 now, another 100
on delivery of the carcass.

I pay, you obey.

How can I resist such elegance?

He's coming.

Who are we butchering
at 5 men to 1?

You're not paid to know.

Let's go.

Damn, what a city! Ill-mannered!

It's just a few steps.
I can walk.

Hey, carter! Make way!

- It's the Duke de Nevers!
- So what?

Thank you, poltroons!

My lord...

it's me!

Again!

This time, no quarter!

A different attack!

A hired assassin now? In whose pay?

An evil-looking devil.

That's a bit vague.
His name and I spare you!

Even if I knew it,
it's not my habit to betray others.

Is it your habit to die?

Right now? Here?

You're lost. How does it feel
to be leaving this world?

Well, well...

That Lagardère's a hound
retrieving the game.

Shut up, fool! It's the contrary!

Put him here.

Smelling salts, vinegar, quick!

Do that again!

An affront!
I demand satisfaction!

You'll fight with me... at my side.

You're no traitor. I'm hiring you.

Come with me to Caylus
as my escort.

My wages?

- Your life, a berth and bread.
- Very well, my lord.

Redecorate the right wing
in pink calico.

No, blue - it's a boy!
Hire 2 nurses, farm girls.

A child's laughter -
that's what's missing!

Nevers mustn't reach Caylus.

I want him dead within 2 days.

But, my lord,
killing him isn't enough.

His child will inherit.

As long as Nevers isn't married,
the child is a bastard.

And bastards have no rights.

None!

Tonight we sleep
at my chateau in Lambray.

The Old Man... the Kng...

wanted to marry me
to a fat Flemish princess,

Gertrud van den Bleueken.

I can see his face when he hears!

He thinks I only like boys.

Ever dabbled in sodomy?

Oh, no. No!

Good, my friend. Good night.

I met Blanche a year ago.
At the Prince's Ball.

Ravishing. Gracious.

I never saw Gonzague so smitten.

I beat him to it, naturally.
I love to annoy him.

So, we danced... drank champagne...
I amused her.

The night was splendid.

The groves of Versailles
shook with lovers' sighs.

We added our own to them.

But, tell me, where were you born?

I was found in the ruins
of the Chateau Lagardère.

Then I lived under bridges.

Under bridges?
I would have loved that!

So your parents let you
sleep outdoors?

Now watch ye, one and all!

The Little Parisian is about to fall

Off the bridge into the Seine

Throw him some pennies
for his pains!

When I was 8, I'd dive off the Pont
Neuf to fish for coins thrown to me.

Or I'd curl up
to sleep under baskets or hatboxes.

Then, no offense, you were...

An acrobat, my lord. An acrobat.

But not abandoned?

Not lost but found, my lord.

By Cocardasse and Passepoil,
who taught me to fight

and the few other things I know.

Allow me one remark:
Chew with your mouth closed.

But you keep questioning me.

And don't speak
with your mouth full.

That's the rule. Live with it.

My lord...

Have you noticed:

for the past 3 days
you've treated me like a somebody.

Perhaps...

We'll change horses at Escalette

and be in Caylus tomorrow.

My son, the Marquis d'Escalette!

Sounds nice, no?

Superb. Your son is lucky.

I like you, my friend.

How would you like to be noble?

I am empowered
to confer knighthood.

Just plain "Lagardère"
sounds so common.

Kneel! On one knee.
Your Christian name?

I never had one.

Indeed, you lack everything.

Now, the dubbing...

I do dub thee

Chevalier de Lagardère.

- Let's go.
- Wait. It's madness!

Peasants take cattle over it.

One at a time.

The red kerchief! Death...

Ride ahead. I'll hold them off.

- You'll never manage!
- Go on!

Go, my lord!

Very well, but listen!

You know my first attack.
My second makes you invincible.

Attack me.
Parry in seventh, riposte,

envelop in quarte...

beat forearm!

Take blade as you change arm.

Disarm.

To the forehead!

You can't pierce the forehead.

You can.

Right here. You try!

- Blood brothers, Chevalier!
- You've made me immortal!

Immortal!

I can hold off an entire army.

Immortal!

Blanche!

Is your bastard daring to squall?

Yes, father.

I forbid it to open its mouth
under my roof!

But it's a baby...

All the more reason to shut it up!

Shame has no age or excuse.

Your Lordship, someone...
a lord... asks to see you.

I never receive mornings or middays,
and certainly not evenings!

That's what I told him...

Baron...

Blanche...

Sir, even if you were a prince...

But he is a prince! My prince!

Philippe Louis Charles de Villepin,
Duke de Nevers,

Marquis de Lognes,
Viscount de Donzy,

Lord of Soindres,
Dammartin and Buzenval,

do you take as your wife
Blanche Aurore Marie de Caylus?

Yes.

I do.

In the name of Our Lord,
I declare you man and wife.

Oh, my angel...

Your very image.

More like you.

Adorable.

Beddy-bye.

I lost my crown.

My crown of orange blossoms.

I must wear it
when I give myself to you.

Later.

No, it's bad luck.

Find it, please. Go on...

Madame, I am already your slave.

Quick, quick!

The cape!

The child's cape!

- Tell me!
- Later!

We can get out by the moat.

Take the child away.

Let me go!

They're taking our baby!

Save our baby!

This way.

You!

I'd have died 10 times for you.

You need die for me
only once, cousin.

You're branded!
If you don't come to Lagardère,

Lagardère will go to you!

I'll get the horses.

No need...
I'm bound for another country.

They killed my wife.

My child has only you now.
Save it.

And avenge me!

In a year from now...
In 10 years...20...

Avenge me!

- I know the assassin...
- Who?

- It's...
- Who's the assassin?

It's...

Philippe, I swear to thee...

In a year, 10 years... 20...
I'll avenge thee.

Anybody here?

Hungry, are you?

Wait.

Wait, little man, wait.

It'll be all right.

You'll see.

I'll learn.

It just takes practice.

My God!

A girl!

All this bother over a little hussy!

Aurore...

When things calm down
I'll take you to...

Take you to whom? Everyone's dead!

Oh, Lord!

Now watch ye, one and all

The Little Parisian
is about to fall...

The first ones, dear heart.

They're called flowers.

Spring is coming. Yes, it is.

And spring is the dawn
of the new year.

Tomorrow, or the day after,

we'll leave here and go back down.

We'll find you a new family...

Good people.

Yes, French.

May we rest a moment
under your roof?

My son, Marcello,

fell into the river. He is tu...

tutto gelato.

Come up.

Some soup?

I guess you're all right now.

What is our savior's name?

What does it matter?
Just call me Chevalier.

Are you players?

Strolling. We play fairs, castles,
weddings, baptisms...

We amuse with words and grimaces,

and very old magic tricks.

In one village,

the innkeeper told me

of a tragedy, as awful

as one in the theater.

An entire wedding party murdered,

three valleys from here.

They're looking for a brigand,
who abducted a child...

Saved a child.

- No more questions.
- Thank you, Signore.

Patience!

Come...

Hush! Be quiet!

- She's crying.
- I don't hear anything.

Aurore never cries at night.

Maybe it's her first tooth.

What is it, my angel?

My baby, my baby...

Go to sleep, my baby.

She must have had a bad dream.

Are you cold? You're hungry.

Paolo, Ornella! Help me!

Hide here! The bambina! Quickly!

A man and a baby fell in!

The child is snagged.

Bring her back.

And wet my boots?

You there... Fish her out!

I would have liked to kiss
the poor child.

Not a pretty sight!
Face all crushed.

And her brains...

Enough!

It's the child's bonnet.

For the family.

What's left of it.

Dear cousin,

I loved the father,
I'd have loved the child.

God called her back.

But Life is the stronger.
Welcome it.

Never!

I am not merely a widow
and bereaved mother,

I am a dead woman.

I understand you.

Yet... if I may broach the subject...

You will inherit a great fortune.

For the sake of Nevers' memory,

you must protect it
from greed and intrigues.

My father's death alone

...leaves me a fortune
I don't know what do with.

Do good with it.

Doing good is a balm

for the sorrows of the soul.

Our cousin is right.
No harm in doing good!

Our nuns attest to that.

It is too great an effort.
I am weary.

We will help you.

Madame, you are not as alone

as you imagine.

Wasn't there a small locket

with the child's name?

Aurore...

I told you already...

At great risk, I saved what
I could... No, no locket!

I know it comes as
a meager consolation,

but the kidnapper,
the assassin, Lagardère,

perished in the river.
Thus, justice has been done.

My God...

My child... Why?

The horror!

For some, evil is the only raoture.

As president of the family council,

I appoint our dear Gonzague

as executor to the estate.

It will be his charge
to manage your assets

for charitable purposes.

I will show you
what manner of man I am.

And you will love me, Madame.

As I love you.

The famous company

of your servant, Paolo Campagnoli...

You all right, dear?

Tell me, Papa...

Hurry, Aurore.

Aurore, continue reading.

"The Art of Fencing
by La Perche du Coudray."

Page 12.

"The provost turns wrist
in septic..."

No, "in septime." Septime! Spell it.

Oh, yes, "septime."

We're spending too much.

- For what?
- Everything.

Our expenses must be lower
than receipts!

But that...

We must save. For the future...

For me, the future is here and now.

It's freezing.

Delicious!

- I'm coming out.
- No, don't move!

I'm coming in!

Show some decency.
You're not a child anymore.

You still treat me like one.

- Look, we're not alone.
- I don't know those men.

What about me? Don't I exist?

Well, don't I?

You're my father.
Fathers aren't men.

Thanks.

But I am decent. Ask Giuseppe
how often I've smacked his face.

What about Marcello?

He's like you, he's my brother.

- So what the hell!
- Don't swear.

I keep trying to educate you...

To do my duty as a father,
morning and night.

True, you put yourself out.

Where are the others?

In town, I think.

Where are your menfolk?

No one to warm your pretty rumps?

And him?

Is he a goat?

More like

an ass!

That one's for you.

Who taught you, Papa?

- Taught me?
- To fight like that.

It's a gift. Once I have a stick...

No.

It's like you were fencing...
Like this!

Stop it, it's not a girl's game.

It's not a game.

Why don't you ever obey?

Why are you so mule-headed,
just like a boy?

- I had no mother to teach me.
- I'm your mother.

Yes, father, mother, everything.

I'll tell you a secret...

a family secret.

What you saw was
the Nevers Attack.

Who's Nevers?

He's... a great lord...

I'll tell you someday.

Someday or never.

I'll teach you the Nevers Attack.

Come on.

First you have to confuse
your enemy.

Then it's all in the finale.

Sit!

Parry in seventh, riposte, lunge,

quarte, envelop, strike forearm,

take blade, disarm,

to the forehead!

You can't pierce the forehead.

You can. There's a weak spot,

between the eyes.

A weak spot...

Let's try it again.

En garde!

He kissed Colombine!
Did you see that?

So with my great sword,

I shall run him through,
I shall run you through

with my great sword.

Wretch!

Now she is punished.

But I am mistaken!
I have killed Colombine!

Don't Parisians ever laugh?

All the time, except at the theater.

Marcello?

Hurry, we're on!

Did you see them?

Children's kisses. Butterfly kisses.

They want to taste
the mysteries of life.

By God, you're jealous!

I won't have Aurore
marrying an acrobat.

I'm sorry, Paolo...

Join us for supper tonight.

Papa! An admirer asked us to supper.

- I'm not ready.
- Not you. Marcello and me.

Where?

In Paris!

Place Royale!

"Sperm of heaven and earth,
Sperm of devil and thunder,

"and the Louvre."

Come, my pet, I will do you
the honors of the house.

Good evening, friends.

D'Argenson, he's yours!
To feed your pretty bird.

If the reverse side matches
the facade, you have a fiancè.

Do you like the theater?

What is it, Louis-Joseph?

The bastard is a bitch!

Don't damage her, Louis-Joseph.

The evening is just beginning.

I'll buy her for 10 gold pieces.

Damnation!

Prepare to die,

hussy!

Not if you die first, rogue!

Confuse enemy!

Seventh, riposte, quarte, envelop,

beat arm,

take blade, disarm...

Dead!

Oh, horror!

He's dead!

What?

Dead?

Louis-Joseph?

Our finest blade?

It would take a thrust...

Like lightning!
Yet the youth didn't look like much.

A shapely leg, but...

Show me the moves! Guard position!

He opened,

parried in seventh,

beat his arm, I think,

and presto! Poor Louis-Joseph...

One more hole. There.

Here?

Where was he from?

Where else?
From a fair... An acting troupe...

- In Paris?
- At a league's distance.

- The village of Chaillot.
- A theater in Chaillot?

Urbain, see the Baron out.

Thank you.

You've been most amusing, as always.
Thank you.

- Did you hear, Aesop?
- It can't be, my lord.

Nevers' secret died with him.

You forget Lagardère.
He knew the secret, too.

But Lagardère
would be an older man now.

To d'Argenson, all men are Apollos.

But that devil Lagardère
drowned 16 years ago!

If he's not dead,

- who's to say that Aurore...?
- But, my lord!

How could she get out
of the Nevers tomb?

Open it.

We've been deceived! She lives!

It's certain:
Nevers' daughter lives!

16 years of striving,

scheming,

crimes, to come to this!

If the heiress reappears, I'm lost.

She'll claim the heritage.

Lagardère is back.
He's here, the corpse who kills!

Tonight at Chaillot,
tomorrow at the Regent's.

And then my head on the block!

And you, my ignorant rogues,
will be flayed alive!

Flayed alive in the port.

Find him. Kill him.

Music tonight, gentlemen!

A theatrical performance...

Now watch ye, one and all...

'Ods bodkins! Hear that?
The whoreson!

Yes, it's him!
If he's alive, then he's not dead.

- My uncles!
- Half-Pint!

My beloved uncles!

My theater!

A brigand, Lagardère, hides
among you. If I don't have him,

you'll burn -
shops, women, brats and all!

You have 12 hours.
But tomorrow, the torch!

- Take the troupe away.
- Sure, but where?

- The thieves' quarter.
- You're not serious!

Tell the Beggar King I sent you.

Hey, friend...

If it's to buy Mississippi,
you're too late today.

But tomorrow I'm at your service.

I'm lost.
Is this Rue Quincampoix?

Close up.

This isn't a street,
it's a bank. Bank, bank, bank!

The rents are sky-high.
Even for a window.

- 1,000 pounds.
- I'll buy!

- Coming!
- A window contract, quick!

Aesop, I must have an audience
with Count de Gonzague.

I've a major deal to propose.

- You seek?
- Information.

- On what?
- The red kerchief.

Peyrolles? When you ask like that,
I have to answer.

I'm listening.

Dangerous, cruel,

kills without qualms.

- His master?
- Mine,

Count de Gonzague.

- Gonzague is said to be rich.
- As Croesus.

- From what?
- The Nevers heritage.

Did Nevers not have a wife?

She's half mad with grief.

Blanche de Nevers lives?

So to speak.

Since her daughter's death,
she's half-dead.

She won't eat, won't speak.

How sad, a sad and beautiful lady.

A martyr, behind those shutters,

cloistered in her room.

She lives there?

In meditation, under guard.

For 16 years, my master
has sighed for her.

I want to see her.

She sees no one.

I'll force her door.

At her first cry,
ten swords would surround you.

Get me in to see her.

And you'll spare me?

Give me a chance.

Touch your hump!

Tomorrow morning here at eight?

It's a deal!

- Who were you talking to?
- A neighbor.

You lying toad! Buzzard! Pestilence!

There's no mistaking
that silhouette: Lagardère!

Yes... no... stop!

- Out with it!
- He's the one...

Lived like vermin, died like vermin!

He was found in the street,
dead as you see him, my lord.

They killed him...

my grimacing little monkey.

Those swine!

It's one man's work.
A gang would have toyed with him,

stabbed him here and there,
pummeled him.

Here, a single thrust...
A signature!

I know! He's out there, not far.
I can feel it.

The thieves' quarter!
It's beautiful like the Gospels.

Here, cripples walk,

the blind see. Hey, Half-Pint!

Isn't it time for an explanation?

My time is short.

I'll explain, but quickly,

and it will hurt you, Aurore.

You seem so distant.

I'm not your father.

I'm the outlaw they're looking for,

Lagardère.

They say I slew a lord. False.

But I know who the killer is...

Turn.

No, too straight.

And you, turn... No, you stink.

A camel!

Is that a real hump?

Write your name and sign.

Write your name and sign.

Wait.

No, show them out.

Can you do bookkeeping?

To provide an estimate
of your great fortune

would require at least three days,
Your Grace.

Flatterer.

Living bent double,
fawning comes naturally.

And witty, too.

We crookbacks have two things
we use well: our tongues and...

And what?

A certain thing
the ladies appreciate, Your Grace.

I like you, knave. I'll take him.

Keep your ears open,
report to me, note down my orders,

then go back
and dictate the market trend.

Then, I cash in.

Fine. And my wages?

Whatever you can steal is yours.
It's a deal?

Did Your Grace lose the other glove?

Mind your...

...own business. Indeed.

Those are Your Grace's terms.
Here are mine.

I lodge in town, eat in the kitchen,
have my own office,

and I take no orders from that man.

Your hand, Your Grace,
the deal is done.

I like him, but keep an eye on him.

A hump is a curse.
One is a hunchback for a reason.

Touch my hump, Your Grace.

A contract signed on my hump
means your profits will jump!

Good day, good day...

I love this house.

It's nobody's, so it's ours.

This ruin, a house?

The holes can be mended.

I can do the roofs, the floors,
even the plaster.

I want three children, all boys.

We'll live in the attic.

Children's dreams!
Marcello doesn't even have a trade.

Who said anything about Marcello?

You and I. The two of us.

I don't like your manner.
We must talk seriously.

You're not being serious.
Listen, Aurore...

Aurore de Nevers,
daughter to a duke,

heiress to 20 titles, chateaux,
earldoms, marquisats.

Me?

Aurore what?

Like the attack?

Like the attack!
Can't you be serious a moment?

If you're not my father
you still act the part.

We have to talk.

I lied to you all these years...

- For my own good, I know.
- No, you don't.

I thought your mother was dead.

Those years on the road...
I tried to replace her.

So I have a mother?

- You've seen her?
- I will, soon.

My mother.

I can speak and I can even write,

but there's a word
I've never pronounced,

which never even entered my mind:
Mama.

She loves you.
She's waiting for you.

- You'll regain your rank.
- My rank?

Good Lord! We're going to be rich?

You'll be rich. You!

No. We share, or here I stay.

I like poverty with you beside me.

I prefer Aurore-the-Nobody
to "Nevers" without you.

It's you I want!

To live with you!

You're a child.

I've sworn to restore you
to your world.

And I shall do so,
despite your silly fantasies.

Kiss me.

You think my heart is free?

A man of my mettle needs a mistress.

Ornella doesn't love you.
Not like I do.

It's not her.

It's someone in town...
Lovely, witty, a great lady.

- You're lying!
- She's a baroness.

A real baroness?

Certainly.

Well, I'm a duchess. Why should
I fear some old baroness?

She's cultured.

She must be a real hag:

beauty spots, mincing airs,
puckered mouth to speak twaddle.

A tart, a trollop!

No, she's clever and delightful.

My God, you betrayed me!

I hate you!

Get out of my life!

That's it, my love, hate me.

- Hunchback, a contract!
- No time! Excuse me!

I want to sell...

Buy, sell, enjoy yourselves.

What are you doing here?
How dare you?

I'll call the guards!

Wait!

Your daughter...

What about my daughter?

She lives.
The Chevalier de Lagardère sent me.

Her executioner.

Her savior.

Why have you come to torment me?

Is this another of Gonzague's
tricks, to drive me mad?

Leave me.

Your daughter lives.
But I daren't bring her here.

This is some treacherous pretense.

- I'm ringing...
- Don't!

At least give this miracle a chance.

It is Lagardère who begs you,
in memory of a certain letter...

"Your undying love weighs 8 lbs
and has emerald eyes."

But... how...?

I will bring you proof.

Heed me
if you wish to see Aurore.

So all this is supposed to be mine.

The bank, the house...

The whole street.

Why is she here?

Is this how you guard her, fools?

Look at me, you dunce!

Don't you recognize me?

It's our darling Half-Pint.

Holy herring! Isn't he ugly!

Why the masquerade?

I've been in the mansion.

- Do we tell the girl?
- Not a word.

Aurore must forget
Lagardère for now.

Run along home, my lovely.

Trust him. He's a good hunchback,
unlike others.

We know him well.
We just forgot the face.

I'm hungry.

You drink too much.

You have kind eyes.

They look familiar. Have we met?

You drink far too much.

Yes, when I'm sad.

Sad? A pretty girl like you?

My heart's broken.

I must forget that rake!

That rake wiped your bottom,
taught you your ABCs...

How do you know?

Your chaperones told me.

I love him, don't you see?

Why, it was him who...

I don't even exist.

Maybe he loves you, too.

More than he thought.

In a different way.

Maybe it's just dawning on him.

But he'll never say so.

But he has to!

"Maybe I love you, too, Aurore.

"Maybe it just dawned on me, too."

Why hide it?

Because he's poor...

He's older...

In 20 years I'll be his age.

Why are so many nice people ugly?

To provide some justice.

Beauty and goodness
don't go together.

You can be loved.

Women don't mind a hump
here and there.

It'd be wonderful if I could say

"I love you" and, presto:
Prince Charming!

But I'd still be in love with him.

There may be a way.
I know someone, a witch.

She can bring back love
with spells, magic words.

She must change a father's love
to a lover's love.

She works miracles.

But she needs personal objects,
jewels, lockets...

- Will mine do?
- Fine.

Lend it to me?

Sit up straight!

You're one to talk!

You're too trusting, Aurore.

Tomorrow you'll be a duchess,

and I'll be a mouse, a rag,
a pumpkin again.

Come here.

I'll go out the back way.
And watch it, you two!

If the bird flies the nest,
I'll have your hides!

Louis, come see.

Sir?

No, I beg you! I made a vow...

And I vowed to restore
the light to you.

Here she is.

Her name is Aurore.

I recognize this locket.

It's me. Then it's true?

I told you. She lives.

Please, tell me about my child.

Is she lovely?

Nothing exceeds her beauty
and grace.

Bring her to me.

You're a prisoner.
If you leave, you may fall...

...Into a scoundrel's clutches.
That's the word,

but I realized too late.

There's someone else.
I hear whispering.

Her confessor?

It's not Friday.
Besides, what has she to confess?

She doesn't eat, doesn't drink.

How could she sin?

Well, well...

Such application!

A great labor.
I was hoping to surprise you.

You have. I am surprised.

What sort of labor?

An audit of your entire fortune.

It's all in my head, hunchback.
Why audit it?

The errors! Too many errors!

I see assets belonging to others,

names that come and go,
partners with no firms,

firms without a function...

I see...

That's how records are.
That's business.

But, Your Grace, you're paying
for everyone else.

Tax, surtax, capital gains tax,

capital losses.
You're paying too much!

That's true. When one pays
it's always too much.

But I know the tax collectors.
You cut the loaf in two,

and everyone's satisfied.

Yes, I see. Mum's the word.

God wishes to keep
it among ourselves.

That's it...

God, you and me.

That's enough for a secret.

Perhaps even one too many.

It's a wine from my region.

The Visconti Lugana.

Do you know Mantova?

Lombardy?

I was born there...
Family problems...

We were chased out...
Talk of poison...

Italy means Borgia to people.
Drink up!

Go on, drink!

Life is a deception.

We were three Philippes.
Nevers robbed me of Blanche.

Orleans uses my bank
to squeeze his rump on the throne.

And I, the most gifted, serve
as their cat's paw.

An agile paw, my lord.

You have the money.
That's something.

Money? If you knew
what an illusion that is!

A passerby, it comes and goes.

Greetings money, farewell money...

But there's something big at stake:
the Mississippi.

Who has peopled it,
imagined it, built it?

Who has described it,
sight unseen?

I have. Do you know
what this Mississippi is? Paper!

Orleans will appoint me
viceroy of a paper realm

he believes to be mine,
one I've sold and resold

to a rabble
of humbugged shareholders.

That's the rub: I've sold too much.

But life is costly...

Why not buy it back?

My treasury is empty.

I have 10,000 francs
and I need 300... 350,000.

If I had a friend...

I'd say to him,
"Help me regain my shares.

"There is a way.

"I can't buy at today's high prices.

"But if prices were to plummet..."

I understand.

When the bottom falls out, you buy.

Do that for me
and you'll profit by it.

But without gold
how can you buy?

Enough wine!

Finding gold takes a clear head.

Have you understood?

Yes, Your Grace.

The shares must drop
very low and very fast.

Rumors, bad news,
panic, bankruptcy...

Yes, Your Grace.

- You're not listening.
- I am.

Is this trinket so important to you?

We all have our little secrets.

- Is she lovely?
- As I am ugly.

You must tell me.

I enjoy tales of grotesque love.

Your Grace...

Patience! It will go up again.

Go up? Has it dropped?

Don't worry.

The bank's still open,
you can be reimbursed.

Have faith!

Faith? I have no faith.

I'm selling. Who will buy at 4,000?

Don't listen to him. All's well!

Sell now and it'll soon drop
to 3,000.

3,000? Lord, at 4
I'm already ruined!

Prices are dropping.
What's going on?

Prices are dropping, it's true.

Then we're on the brink
of bankruptcy.

Bankruptcy!

Hot bread, ten pennies!

Ten pence? For bread?

When war looms,
small merchants make provisions.

- War?
- What war?

Go home!

We've no instructions.
Go home, we're closing!

I want my gold,
you can have your paper.

The ingrates!

I give them a dream,
make them Conquistadors!

Come, hunchback.

A fine beginning.

The closing price?

2,000. It mustn't drop too fast.

Excellent. And tomorrow?

Tomorrow, 1,000.

At 800 we make a clean sweep.
And I reimburse.

How did you find all that gold?

300,000 pounds!

A little system of my own,
Your Grace.

A chef never reveals his recipes.

Remember: only the mother superior

is empowered to give you my gold.

The mother superior.

I'll bring Aurore to the ball.
You shall recognize her publicly.

I look frightful...

To suddenly reappear at court!

Until tomorrow, my lady.

Hurry, hurry!
There won't be enough for all.

Our shares are worth
less than nothing!

It's better than none of nothing.
Hurry!

Is everything all right, sisters?

Hurry, ladies, gentlemen.

Excuse me, excuse me.

1,250 plus 50 makes 1,350.

No, Papa, 1,300, not 1,350.

You're confusing me. Ah, yes, 1,300.

It's magnificent.

In a week, we'll resell
at 10 times more, 100 times.

It was your idea.

No... yes... Maybe. No matter.

The execution is all. That's you.

Clear up!
It's Versailles here tonight.

- The shares are safe?
- In a convent.

What?

The bank would have implicated you.

True. I don't appear in this.

You think of everything.

My wizard, my four-leaf clover.

How can I thank you?
Of course! I forgot!

A jewel for
the mysterious little lady.

Tell me about her,
her name, age, hump.

Your Grace...

No! To each man his secret garden.

He's blushing!

Tell me. Is she rich?

Is she mute?
She must have something...

unusual. What can she give you?

A family, Your Grace,
a mother for my children.

Paris will crawl
with lively, twisted crabs.

What's the matter?

Great news. Confidential news.

You may speak before him.

Don't be silly.

You two must get along. Well?

- The girl...
- Girl?

- Nevers.
- Found?

- Caught.
- Where?

In her lair: thieves' quarter.

- You're sure it's her?
- Certain.

She cried "Aurore de Nevers."

Had I killed her,
you might have disapproved.

I've a better idea: Louisiana!

My prudish cousin's daughter
a Louisiana whore!

It will brighten my old age.

Have Baptiste lay out my clothes.
Wait here.

Ship her to the Mississippi convoy.
I want to see her.

Move along!

- Where are you going?
- Don't know!

Hey, you!

Watch out behind you!

When I give the word, jump!

Now!

Enough of this fussing.
Let us be modern,

efficient!

The corpse that kills
shall kill no more.

My triumph is at hand, Peyrolles!

No one, nothing stands in my way.
The future is mine!

But the girl got away.

Just let her dare show herself.

I will milk fortunes
from the Mississippi mirage.

I feel young at heart.

- Find my hunchback!
- I'll see to it, my lord.

Your Highness!

A viceroy is addressed
as "Your Highness."

Start getting used to it.
My hunchback!

There he is!

Hey, Half-Pint!

Look, I found it!

If the bullet hadn't struck
your hump buckle, you'd be a goner!

You need rest.

Have you forgotten
our appointment tonight?

In your condition, Half-Pint?

I'll go make myself presentable.

Meet anyone at the inn yesterday?

Yesterday? That's long ago!

The uncles said something about...
a hunchback.

Oh, yes! An ugly hunchback.
He was very nice.

He talked about love...
someone else's love...

They have little chance
to talk of their own.

- What did he say?
- Silly things.

That poverty is an obstacle
to love... Age, too.

And you said:
"But in 20 years, I'll be his age!"

Enough chatter, milady.

The time has come to lift the veil.

I suspected as much at the inn.

You deceived me!

I had to, to deceive others.

This is the last time
I address you as...

- Aurore-of-nobody.
- Be quiet!

Turn around.

Tonight, you regain
your rank and position.

And I return to mine.

Your mother made me
understand that.

I'll speak to her. I'll tell her.

No one will separate us. No one!

Nothing!
Not my mother nor my fortune!

We'll return to the road.

Just the two of us.

His Highness,

the Duke d'Orleans,
Regent of the Kingdom of France!

- Now I'll learn who you are, freak!
- If you do, you die!

You should recognize my voice.

Has it changed since
the moat of Caylus?

Not you?! It can't be you!

How often must we kill you?

They're entering the great hall.
It's our cue!

I can't admit this!

The dead are dead,
or else nature's law is a farce.

I personally slew
the man who killed this man.

Who pierced your skull,

Mr Dead Man?

Who pierced your skull?

It was him, always him!

Here, Your Highness, is the protocol
naming the Count de Gonzague

as royal agent
to the Louisiana Territory

and granting him

all gold and silver mining...

Very well.

Where is Gonzague?

Here I am. An unfortunate incident
at the last moment.

I understand,
but "I almost had to wait,"

as the Old Man would say...
I mean, the King.

Now you, my dear fellow...

One moment!

Your Highness appears
to be celebrating

the marriage of Philippe de Gonzague

with sweet Louisiana.

Who is this individual?

My hunchback. My secretary.

One question remains to be asked,

a routine question, but vital.

Does anyone know
why they should not be united?

Well?

The answer is yes.

They should not be united.

Very funny, hunchback.
But this time you've gone too far.

My master thinks he's signing
as majority stockholder...

You know that!
We've repurchased 120,000 shares.

No! All the shares

have passed into other hands
than yours.

May I know who you believe
to be the beneficiary?

I have the honor of introducing
the majority shareholder

of the Mississippi Company.

This is grotesque!
A grotesque fairy tale!

And as proof of my words,
here are the 120,000 shares.

May we know the name

of our mysterious
but charming trader?

Aurore de Nevers,

and Your Highness' servant!

Who can believe this nonsense?

I can!

An outrageous plot!

To call a poor madwoman as witness!

I am happy to see the end
of your sad reclusion.

I knew it, Madame!

Yes, I did.
I knew your daughter was alive.

I was awaiting proof.

- I bring her back...
- Enough of your lies!

This poor wretch brought
my daughter back.

It would please us

to know your name.

Your Highness,
I am the Chevalier de Lagardère.

I told you:
"If you don't come to Lagardère..."

Lagardère! It can't be!

You'll pay for your crimes,

the murder of Philippe de Nevers!

I won't stand
for this worm accusing me,

- without proof or witnesses!
- Here is the proof.

The killer's hand,
which I branded that day at Caylus!

Defend yourself!

A wound of honor!

I was defending Nevers.

I have nothing to fear.

I have faith in the justice
of our land.

Come, scoundrel! En garde!

Dueling is forbidden.
There is a law!

I suspend the law
and appeal to God's judgment.

But God always sides
with the strongest!

It's an unfair combat!

He knows the attack.

He's going to murder me.

But we are kinsmen, cousin.

I have my bad blood drawn.

Traitor!

Traitor, yes!

Traitors

and priests. Both are vocations.

Treachery can be amusing.

It's a change
from the daily routine.

But a true traitor,
a traitor with style,

a traitor in the blood,

a glutton for treachery!

In fact, Judas was an artist.

Gonzague ruined us!

Watch out! Quinte!

To the right!

The left!

Straight!

Turn to me.

Now, straight!

I mean, closer!

Closer!

- I wanted to tell you...
- Be quiet!

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