Old Flame (2022) - full transcript

I got it.

Beware the tickle monster.

Tickle monster can
attack any place, any time.

The tickle monster
can attack across

very strong Wi-Fi connections.

Stop it, tickle monster!

Sorry, girls.

I miss you, Daddy.

Yeah, I know. I'm sorry.

I know it's not
a real tickle. I'm sorry.

No tickle monster tonight.



Tonight--
tonight's mommy's bedtime.

Oh, no.

I know. I'm sorry.

No, not Mommy. Boo, boo.

We all know mommy's
bedtime is super duper boring.

What's the--
what's the story tonight?

I said, what-- what story
are you going to read tonight?

Scary story!

Okay. Well, all right.
Tell Mommy-- tell your mother

she has to do the voices.

Daddy does
fun voices like this--

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, Mommy
always does half assed voices.

Yeah, she does half assed--



Tell her she does
half assed voices.

Tell her she has to commit.

She can't skimp out
on the voices. No, no, no.

Can you make a video
of you doing the voice?

Hey, can-- Brianna,
can you put Mommy on?

Brianna? Tell-- tell--

tell Mommy Daddy
wants to talk to her.

Love you, Daddy.

Well, I love you,
sweetheart. I love you.

I love both of you so much,
and I miss you so much.

When are
you coming home, Daddy?

And I'll see you
Sunday night, okay?

When are you coming back?

Yeah, I'll be back Sunday.

Bye!

I know it's a--
I know it's a cliché,

and everyone thinks this about
their collegiate experience,

but what I truly believe--

But I truly believe MSC is
the best school on the face of

the earth, and all of you
guys are the best classmates

a guy could ever want.

We all know Bill
is the best athlete

in the alumni association.

That is, if you consider
slurping clam chowder a sport.

I'm just kidding, Bill.

Ed here, when he takes out his
pitching wedge, I'd like to...

pitch him the idea of just
tossing all of his clubs

in the lake, instead of trying
to get out of that sand trap.

I just feel bad
for the sand, you know?

I just feel bad for the sand.

Let this be the best reunion
that has ever been.

I mean, maybe I'm being
hyperbolic about that,

but I-- I can think of
no other place I'd rather be.

And that's just--

This is so stupid.
I sound like a fucking idiot.

Oh, shi--

Oh, God.

Hey, Mike. What's going on, man?
Are you on the--

Hey, can you
take me off speaker?

Yeah, just take me off speaker.

Yeah, man,
I'm here. That's why I'm--

Yeah, I got here,
like, way early, and I'm, like,

setting up all
this shit myself.

Is there, like,
there's, like, nobody here yet.

None of the alumni association,
none of the outreach guys.

No-- nobody's here.
Nothing's set up yet,

and we've got, like, three hours
before 300 people show up.

I said,
we've got three hours before--

Hey, Mike, can you just
take me off speaker?

Just take me off speaker.

All right, man.

Well, don't leave me hanging.

Hurry up and I'll
hold down the fort.

For Christ's sake, Mike.

Take me off speaker.
I said I'll hold down the fort.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay, fine.

Yep. Yeah. All right, bye.

Oh, sorry. Registration
doesn't open 'til 5:30.

Can you come back in a couple
hours? You're here for the--

You're looking
for the reunion, right?

The-- the main event
starts at noon tomorrow,

and I'm not supposed to, um--

I can't technically
sign you in until 5:30 today.

You know, tell you what,

if it's easier for you
to do just--

Do you want to just do it now?

I can just get it done so
you don't have to do it later.

I'll just-- Let me just
go ahead and register you.

What's your name?

Rachel Lerner.

Rachel?

No way! Holy shit.

Surprise, surprise.

Oh, it is a surprise party
up in here. This is--

Wow, this is crazy. This is
certifiable. I mean.

Oh, wow.

- I totally didn't--
- You don't recognize me?

I mean, no. Of course,
I-- Yes, I recognize you.

It just took me a minute
to, uh, I can't believe this.

I can't believe you're here.

Ta-da

Ta-da! Rachel Lerner.

Calvin Green.

I mean, how have you--
How've you been?

It's been a minute.

It has been a minute.

Um, should I-- Do you
want me to come back later?

- I'm a little, uh--
- No.

Apparently, I'm a little early.

No. Early bird
catches the, uh you know...

I'll just-- Let me
just get you signed in now.

I just gotta find your name.

It'll-- It'll take me
two seconds.

It's-- Wow.
It's really good to see you.

You were not
expecting to see me, huh?

I didn't know
what to expect, who to expect.

Uh...

I mean, you look--
You look amazing.

- Seriously.
- Oh, look at you,

Mister 'I'm wearing
pastel shirt,' Mr. 'Chinos.'

Is this what you call pastel?

You look good,
Mr. Fancy Pants.

You, on the other hand...

- Stop.
- No, no, no, no. You--

I mean, like,
the cliché thing of, like,

you look exactly the same,
but it's seriously true.

It's like you
look exactly the same.

I mean, can you
recommend a moisturizer?

Should I be
moisturizing this shit?

I've aged. Trust me.

Wait and see
this weekend, though.

Half the guys are
going to have hair plugs.

The women will have
Botox, spray tans, and Spanx.

It's like, who do
you think you're kidding?

Do you actually think
you're fooling anybody?

Everyone can see
right through you.

You're old!

Old-ish. I'm like, you
know, just a little bit old,

it's just like a little--
Like a-- like a middle old.

Time flies.

- Eh, time flies.
- When you're having fun.

You keep setting up,
if you-- Don't let me stop you.

This weekend should be, uh...

I mean, fun is maybe not
the right-- Maybe totally weird

and flashback-y is
the more appropriate, uh...

And it should be interesting,
to say the least.

It's bound
to be full of surprises.

Oh, no big surprise.

Jell-O shots will be
in full swing.

I mean, people think
they can take a time machine

and drink how
they drank in undergrad,

which is just not-- You know,

it's not possible,
or advisable.

Yeah, you're
preaching to the choir.

Now, you used to-- You could
always hold your own in terms

of-- You could drink me under
the-- I was a lightweight.

I was the heavyweight
champion of the world.

You could drink a screwdriver
in, like, 0.5 seconds,

like, uh, record speed, like--

"Rachel,
where did your drink go?"

Down the hatch.

-Down the hatch, high tolerance.
-High tolerance. Yep.

You never even
seemed that tipsy.

Yeah, you were
Mr. Tipsy after half a beer.

Two sips, two sips

I was-- Oh, man, I was--
talk about a cheap date.

- I was not a big drinker.
- Like me?

The biggest lush
in the Big Ten?

Well, no, you weren't a lush.

You weren't,
like, a sloppy drunk.

It's not like you
were out getting wasted.

Well, I got wasted once.

That was the first
and last time I drank

a solo cup full of whiskey.

Ooh.

Hey. What's up?

Yeah. I thought we're
going to try and hold my calls.

Is this about the-- Yeah,
tell them it's a long position.

It's a long position and we're
going long on turbines,

the turbine
portfolio is long.

Hey, hey, uh, hold my calls
'til Monday, okay?

Out of office,
automatic reply.

Go and get an early start
on the weekend, all right?

Right, yeah.
It's five o'clock somewhere.

Exactly. All right. Yeah. bye.

That's the problem
with hiring a super competent,

super intelligent assistant.

They actually try
to get you to do work.

I would like an assistant.

Take one of mine. I have three,

but she's like my main one.

The other two just
handle market reports.

Am I coming
across as a complete

and total asshole right now?

Just partial. Maybe
like one third of an asshole.

A partially obstructed rectum.

Fair enough, that's fair.

Well, I should let you,
um-- I'll come back later.

No rush. I'm not, like,
kicking you out. You want to--

Can I get you some coffee?

I'll always take a coffee.

Can't vouch for the--

This might not be
third wave coffee right here.

I'm not a coffee snob.
I just want it in my mouth.

Uh huh.

I was at
the airport at, like, 6 AM

- You're based in...
- Phoenix.

Phoenix. Nice. That sounds--

I'm picturing sun.

Sun is an understatement.

- Uh-huh.
- Inferno would be

more accurate, 112 degrees.

Dry heat, though, right?
Isn't it dry?

It's hell on earth.
It's brushfires. It's flames.

You'll be, like, literally
driving and you'll see, like,

smoke coming off, uh--
Thank you.

Smoke coming off the asphalt.

Oh, I guess
you won't be working for

the Phoenix Board
of Tourism anytime soon.

- What brought you out there?
- Work.

Work. Cool. What do you--
What's your line of, uh...

Oh, pharmaceuticals.

Pharmaceuticals.
Excellent. Sweet.

Hope you brought some
with you. Just kidding.

You're a kidder.

Kidding aside,
college reunion.

I'm sure you
could move some units.

Erectile dysfunction pills
would probably be at a premium.

Oh, you could make a killing.

Should I set up shop?

Start dealing drugs
to all the alumni?

Amphetamines
would go like gangbusters.

-Anti-anxiety--
-Do you have anxiety?

Oh, no. I didn't mean me.

Pretty even keeled
and not, uh--

You never feel anxious?

A feeling of foreboding,
impending doom.

I mean, the stock
market makes me nervous,

but you won't find me
popping pills about it.

Not that there's
anything wrong with, uh--

With what?

With drugs, prescription drugs.

The pharmaceutical
industry writ large.

- I wasn't disparaging your--
- My industry.

Your industry is
above reproach in my book.

Your industry being?

Finance.

Yes, I'm in finance.

I sell financial
instruments for the, uh--

I mean, it's private equity,
but before you throw up,

what's cool is we invest
exclusively in clean energy.

Green tech, wind, renewables,
you know, solar,

and we were the first to lead

the charge in divesting our
mutual funds of any blue chip

that isn't carbon neutral.

We believe sustainability
equals profitability.

Well, look at you
living your best life,

fighting the good fight, uh,
reducing your carbon footprint,

and making a shit ton of money?

I bet the school roped
you into fund raising, huh?

The university asked me to--

The-- the-- My buddy, Mike,
actually, asked me to join

the alumni association,

and the alumni Association
puts on these events,

this event, and so, yeah,

this is what you get
for getting here super early,

you get to set up
folding tables.

Ugh. Folding tables suck!

- They totally suck.
- Manual labor?

So, I'm just going
to be a bad volunteer

and abdicate my folding
table responsibilities.

Do not take responsibility.
What's the worst they can do?

Put you in jail?
The penitentiary

for people who
fail to fold tables?

Huh, that's weird.

[Rachel?
What's weird?

I can't seem to
find your name in the--

You're not in the master list
for the registration.

-Did you RSVP?
-Oh, I did.

I mean,
at least I think I did. Hmm.

I don't know why I can't--

It's not under your last name.
Did you change your last name?

Why would I change my name?

Did you get-- Are you married?

-No.
-Huh.

I don't know
why I can't, uh, maybe--

I'm sure it's just clerical,
or you know what?

I bet you RSVPed late
and they didn't add it to the--

You might have to sneak me in.

You might have
to crash the party.

I won't tell if you won't.

It'll be our dirty
little secret.

Well, um,
have fun at the big boy table.

Try not to do any keg stands.

No keg stands in the forecast.

Besides, it wasn't the econ
majors who partied like, uh...

It was the theater majors
who were party animals.

Oh, theater majors, huh?

Going to
a theater department party

was like going to a brothel.

Oh, my God.
Brothel's a bit hyperbolic.

People were hooking up
left and right. Guys and girls,

guys and guys, girls and girls.

You know, somebody
was passing around ecstasy.

Everybody was
singing show tunes.

The show tunes
I can vouch for.

I was like a fish
out of, uh-- I mean,

all these theater people
were just looking at me like,

"Who invited
Mr. Uptight over here?"

"Mr. I'm Studying Economics."

It was like performance art
making you go to those parties.

No, no. You were always

trying to get me into trouble.

Trouble is my middle name...

legally.

It's on my birth certificate.

Besides, guys like you
always have

a way of getting
out of trouble.

Does a guy like me typically

take a women's studies class?

You were
the only guy in that class.

Guys can be feminists.

And girls can be goalies

in the National Hockey League.

You made me a feminist.

You converted me after class

at that shitty coffee shop,

with that shitty coffee.

Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Our little debate society.
Our little weekly dialectic.

I would school you.

I got schooled.

Yes. Let me see.

Intersectionality,

feminist epistemology,
queer theory.

You gave as good as you got.

You got me to read
The Road to Serfdom.

You got me to read
The Second Sex.

I mean, you really opened
my eyes to--

You made me perfectly
aware of my own heteronormative,

cisgendered,
white male privilege,

and the certain pitfalls,

the certain
trappings that accompany--

White male privilege.

It bears repeating,
and you were right.

Like, we all bring
our own bias, you know,

our own upbringing to bear

-on the way we perceive,
-Uh-huh.

or think we perceive events.

There's no objective truth,

there's no--
What did you call that?

You had, like, an actual
philosophic moniker that I'm--

The Archimedean point.

There's no
Archimedean point, right.

There is
no theoretically neutral

vantage point because nobody,
and I mean nobody, is neutral.

Gender studies.

Remember that-- We got into
that big fight about

the male and female brain.

It was less
of a fight and more of a war.

Charles Murray aside,

the idea that there are
differences between different

brains and different
groups of people,

even within the same
group of people, across race,

across nationality,
across, yes, gender,

No!

It is in fact
scientifically indisputable.

Okay, I would dispute that.

The brains in men
and the brains in women are not

the same brains
from a-- from a biological--

From the standpoint
of cortisol levels,

adrenal response,
impulse control,

the whole
prefrontal cortex is--

Now you're just making shit up.

But women's brains are better.
They just are.

Just look at history.
History is-- What is it?

It's-- it's genocide and famine
and mass destruction.

It's war. Why?
Because it's men.

That's how our brains work.

You don't think men
and women think differently?

Let women rule the world,
seriously.

Let women be in charge.
Every country, every continent.

Boom! World peace.
World's a better place.

In what world are you-- Mm...
you are either deliberately,

or ignorantly, omitting
thousands of year--

Women are
equally capable of, um--

Violence?
Yes, everyone's capable--

Greek mythology,
Greek tragedy. Okay?

There are plenty
of examples of women doing

some pretty brutal,
some pretty fucked up shit.

By and large--

The women of Lemnos
decapitate their husbands

for sleeping with their slaves.
Clytemnestra killed Agamemnon.

Medea. She kills her own kids,
for Christ's sake.

Oh, what was that play?
I saw you in, in school.

You saw a few of my--

Not the weird stuff, not
all the weird off campus, uh--

- Performance art.
- Not the performance art.

That was very political,
very confusing.

I didn't
spoon feed the audience.

What was the play? You were
acting in that-- You were doing

that play and the--
Like, the Greek play.

You were acting in
that play with the goats--

Euripides! The Cyclops.

Euripides, right.

It was not about goats.

Goats were involved.

I just remember, I had never
seen a Greek play before,

and it was like, "Wow,"
it was, like, intense.

It was an immersive production.

It was in-your-face, kind
of cross-dressing type of--

I just remember you were
wearing that--

You had like a large, uh,
phallic type of, uh...

- A phallus?
- Yes.

You had a phallus
strapped around your--

You're right. Yeah.
I was wearing a strap-on,

a very large,
bulging, prehistoric hard on.

- It was very intimidating.
- Mhm, yeah.

But, you were good.

Your performance was very,
uh-- You played the goat.

I played the satyr.

Satyr, right.

Yeah. Satyrs are technically
only half goat.

Half goat, half man.

The drunken fawns
of the forest,

registered sex offenders
of the Greco-Roman era.

They worship Dionysus,

the God of binge
drinking and gangbangs.

For a student production,

it was a pretty
realistic looking orgy.

Oh, it was a Bacchanal,
thank you very much.

And I remember you had on that,

like, that mask thing?
Your character was wearing

that, like, weird looking goat
mask with, like, the horns.

I made that mask myself.
Papier maché.

I still have it, actually.

Does the goat mask
come in handy?

You'd be surprised.

Do you dress up like
livestock for Halloween?

I, uh, I break
it out for special occasions.

- Special occasions?
- Intimate moments.

Intimate moments.

Moments of the intimate variety.

I find
that kind of disturbing.

I find it kind of kinky.

I'm a married man.
Kinky is not really, uh--

Uh, you were never particularly,

-No, no.
-uh, yeah back in the day--

-Well, you, on the other hand--
-Was I kinky in college?

Well, I mean, kinky's--
Kinky sounds kind of, uh--

Pejorative, diminutive?

I mean, it's not like, uh,
it's not a negative quality.

-It's not a character flaw.
-Would you describe me,

as if someone
asked you what I was like.

Would you be like,
"Oh, Rachel Lerner. Yeah.

-She was kind of kinky."
-No, um, of course not.

No. That's not the first word
that comes to mind.

But, it's like the third

or fourth word
that comes to mind?

No, no, no. What I meant--
What I'm saying is what

I meant to say is,
compared to me back in the day,

compared to my, um, very, uh,

limited, very pathetic

-lack of uh, experience,
-Mm-hm.

-I was just a little less,
-Uh-huh.

-and I'm just a little more--
-Kinky.

Experienced.
You had more experiences.

Right, I slept around more.

Well, uh, numbers wise.

If we're just
comparing numbers.

I slept with more people

From a numbers standpoint.

Yes, I was pretty...

-Inexperienced.
-Inexperienced.

No fellatio during
freshman orientation?

-No, no.
-No hand jobs

-in your sophomore dorm room?
-No.

No sorority girls
your senior year?

-No, no.
-You didn't sleep around?

I only slept with
one person in college.

You know I only slept
with one person in college.

Even after we broke up?

Even after we broke up.

Well, I, uh, hate to break
up the pre-reunion reunion,

-but I should probably, uh--
-Totally.

You know,
keep setting up some stuff.

Definitely.

But, I'll definitely
see you later at the, uh,

I mean, obviously we'll meet
up mañana, at the shindig.

Shindig, indeed.

The etymology
of shindig, but also the--

-Lots of catching up to do.
-Lots to catch up on.

I'll catch you
before you leave.

Please do. Don't be, uh,
don't be a stranger. Don't--

don't get lost in the shuffle.

Don't worry, you can't
get rid of me that easy.

If you can't find me,

we can always, um, rendezvous
at the bar. After the...

Rendezvous? Yes, at
the bar. the bar in the hotel.

- Hotel bar.
- Hotel bar. After--

Or before. You know, the hotel
bar does have a hell of

a happy hour. I think
I'm going to go pre-game it.

Pregame that shit.

Care to join?

Join the parade, huh?
You want me to join you?

You want
to do some day drinking?

See? You're always
trying to get me into trouble.

Trouble is my middle name.

What should we toast
to? To MSE for providing us

a completely unremarkable
undergraduate education?

I know.
Let's drink to our youth.

Mm. To the one that got away.

Hey.

- I fucked it up.
- Yeah.

You're right.
I was... too needy.

Girls don't like needy guys.

You can't just drop
the "I love you" bomb

on somebody
six months into dating.

We dated for, like,
one semester, and I'm, like,

professing my whatever,

and expecting you
to reciprocate when you--

I mean, you were
clearly expecting this to be

a more casual,
uh, less serious,

less exclusive relationship.

I mean, you saw
other people before me,

like, a lot of other people.

Like, I was fucking
the whole lacrosse team?

A person in your position--
Let's admit it,

a girl like you
could've done way better than

a guy like me.
Like, so much better.

Talk about a snooze fest. Not
exactly the, uh, life of the--

I'm like Captain Boring.

My wife will be the first
person to tell you that.

Did you tell
your wife about me?

Did I tell my wife

about my only
serious college girlfriend?

The girl who
broke my heart? Uh... no.

Didn't exactly come up in
casual conversation

-around the, uh--
-You should tell her.

Tell her what?

That you're not just some
old flame? That maybe, secretly,

deep down, if I'm--
If I'm being honest with myself

in all probability, I still
haven't gotten over you?

You've gotten
on with your life.

Your life looks
pretty sweet to me.

You're a big,
successful businessman,

a partner at Scorch Capital.

Beautiful wife,
two little girls.

Uh-- uh, did I tell
you I have girls?

-You did.
-Huh.

Um, at least
I'm pretty sure you did.

You said Sara's home with

the girls to go
to the soccer game.

-Sara?
-Mhm.

See, the alcohol's
going right to my head,

because I don't remember
telling you my wife's name,

and I definitely don't remember
telling you where I work.

Uh, you told me
you were in finance,

you humblebragged
about your IPOs, you...

Did I mention Scorch Capital?
That I work at Scorch Capital?

Woo! Uh, online.

What?

God, this is embarrassing.

I'm totally embarrassed.

This is totally going to sound
like I'm some kind of stalker.

I'm totally honored.

I always thought I was way
too lame to be stalked.

Okay, maybe stalking isn't the
right-- Let's just call it--

I was seeing
what you were up to.

You were
seeing when I was up to.

Not creepy in the least.

Not a modicum of creepiness,

and I happened to come across--

I happened to, incidentally,
see some pictures--

Pictures.

Pictures you posted
on social media, your house

or not so much of a house,
more of a McMansion.

- It's not a mansion.
- Oh, it's so totally a mansion.

Mr. Fancy Pants has a mansion.

I have other
redeeming qualities.

You post a lot
of pictures of cars,

all these fancy pants
sports cars.

I have one kind
of rare sports car,

the rest are just
to fool around in.

Your kids are just--

Look at these kids.
Talk about adorable.

Thanks.

You post
the most adorable pictures.

I like the ones where
their faces are like cat faces.

Oh, yeah,
it's like this... filter thingy.

How old are they?
Brianna and Kaleigh?

Six and three.

Six and three,
you must have your hands full.

We hired this au pair,

this 19-year-old
au pair from Belarus,

and you should see the clothes
she tries to buy my girls.

I'm like, "I don't know
how they do things in Belarus,

"but my six-year-old
does not need booty shorts.

Thank you very much."

What does your wife have to say

about your modesty dress code?

You make--
You make it sound like

I'm Amish,
or Quaker, or some shit.

Your wife doesn't
dress, hmm--

Her outfits aren't
exactly conservative on--

in her selfies.

You've been checking
out my wife's selfies?

- Uh, are they real?
- What?

Her boobs.

They're real expensive.

The au pair from
Belarus handles the child care.

So does Sara, like, have a job?

She has interests. Yes.

Crossfit?

She volunteers with
a lot of non for profits.

Save the whales!

Charities, charity work,
poverty initiatives,

climate initiatives.
She does these petitions,

she petitions people to
retrofit inner city parks into

green spaces. She counsels
women at the women's shelter.

Like, abused women?

Victimized women.
Women who've been abused.

Wow. What an amazing woman,
your wife.

Fighting the good fight,
speaking truth to power.

Why does it sound like you...

sound kind
of sarcastic about it?

'Cause, you know,
Sara's actually I mean,

she's uh, quite the--

She's an amazing role model
for the girls.

I mean,
talk about strong will,

- talk about independent.
- Mm-hm.

Sarah is
the head of that household,

I'll tell you what, she does
not put up with any of my shit.

Ooh, what shit?

Ah, well, you know,
just the typical male bullshit,

typical gender roles.

I mean, yeah, I work
crazy hours, like insane hours,

but I don't come home like,
"Honey, where's dinner?"

Doesn't the au pair make dinner?

I make dinner.

When I can.

I fold the laundry, I make the
snacks for, uh, soccer practice.

Progressive.

My point is-- my point is

I'm the first guy my little
girls get to know, right?

So, if I set the right example,

hopefully I'll set them on a
course that steers clear of...

-scumbags.
-Don't forget about douchebags.

Scumbags and douchebags
abound in finance.

Half the hedge fund guys are
having affairs with women

half their age. In my office,
you would not believe

the way some
of these men talk about women.

It's actually unconscionable.

I've caught guys looking at
porn at their terminals, like--

Like, full screen porn.

They don't even
minimize the screens.

You don't watch porn?

Not at work.
I'm not a porn guy in general.

Oh, come on,
every guy's a porn guy.

It just never did it for me.

It was just--
You know, never... my thing.

- Call me crazy.
- You're a liar.

I call you a liar.

Ah, check this out.

- My assistant.
- Uh-huh.

- 22. Right?
- Uh-huh.

Happened to attend
the Ivy League,

- happens to be attractive.
- Of course.

My-- Well,
our Christmas party--

- The office Christmas party,
- Mm-hm.

she's wearing this, uh,

I guess what you
would call

- a shortish skirt,
- Ah.

and this guy, this analyst,
he takes out his cell phone,

he takes a super zoomed in,

close up picture
of my assistant's rear end,

and it was,
like, this big joke.

It was no big deal
to totally degrade,

totally objectify this woman,

to reduce her
Ivy League intellect

to a Snapchat
of her visible thong.

-They pass the picture to you?
-Pass the picture to everybody.

-Did you jerk off?
-I got the guy fired.

Look at you,
chivalry is not dead.

I'm the father
of two girls, okay?

That kind of shit makes me--

Ugh. I got the office to
institute this code of conduct.

Zero tolerance policy, no
discrimination, no harassment,

no excuses. So, basically
at Scorch Capital,

we hear you
talking locker room talk,

we-- we hear you ask
a coworker out on a date.

That's it, man. You're gone.

Considering the birthrate
is in decline,

is it really the best idea
to prevent people from asking

other people
out on dates at work?

It's better than
the alternative, right?

Where working women have
to put up with sexual innuendos

and micro-aggressions from
their male colleagues all day.

The-- the workplace
needs to be a safe space.

Okay, but safe from what?

What is this, you know,
attack of the killer cubicles?

Safe from prejudice. Okay?
Safe from bias.

I campaigned for gender neutral
bathrooms, for instance.

Men pee on the seat.

I campaigned for-- We have
a gender nonbinary employee,

and I got
the office to institute--

I got the office to initiate
this whole training seminar

on how to respect the person's
preferred pronouns.

There's a difference between
respecting someone's pronouns

and forcing me to use them.

Is this you-- Are you just
playing devil's advocate here,

or do you really
believe what you're saying?

Do you?

Yes, of course. I mean,
I take this stuff seriously.

Pluralism is a thing to me.

Enfranchising people,
making room at the table,

realizing it's time
for the tables to turn.

Wow, you're so woke, Cal!

Baby-- No.

Baby steps in
the right direction.

Baby steps.

Speaking of babies,

you uh, you have any interest

- in the baby having?
- Ugh, okay, whoa.

Is that, like,
your pick up line?

It's how I met my wife.
"Uh, hey, I'm Calvin.

"Do you have any
interest in the baby making?"

I, uh, no.
No. I'm done with men.

-Men are just moot.
-Women?

Ooh, I have zero interest
in dating in general.

Have you tried online dating?

Uh, online dating is how you
end up in a storage facility,

being skinned alive by
a serial killer.

I read this book, right?

This book by this sociologist,
that's basically about how

the per capita rate of
psychopaths in our society is,

like, wildly underestimated.

And it's not overestimating
to say upwards of, like,

2% of Americans--

That's like six million people

could be potential psychopaths.

Now, the majority
of psychopaths

aren't actually homicidal.

The majority
are high functioning,

high income earners,
or titans of industry.

They don't-- they don't break
a sweat under pressure.

Their blood runs cold.
Doctors, lawyers, neurosurgeons.

You know?

My chiropractor
could be a psychopath.

Yeah. My point is,
I'm not going out with someone

I met online,
without a stun gun in my purse.

-You have a stun gun?
-I'm fucking with you,

but I could
totally buy a stun gun

if I wanted to. You know,
you can buy anything online.

Anybody can check out
pictures of your McMansion.

Case in point.

I do not trust technology.

Don't tell me you don't think
our phones aren't recording

us right now, selling
our dirty little secrets

to third party advertisers.
Surveillance state, man.

You can run,
but you can't hide.

I have nothing to hide.

You have a family. What if
some pervert jerks off to photos

you post of your daughters
online?

What if search engines list
your-- your home address,

your wife's phone and email?

There are a lot of weirdos
with Wi-Fi access.

I'm deleting all my social
media. Thank you very much.

You know--
you can't be too careful.

Yeah. I'm going to erase
my entire digital footprint.

Do it.

- Maybe men are not moot.
- No.

Maybe men are not moot.

Maybe you just
haven't met the right man.

I mean, here you are--
No. Look, look. You're this--

You're this very--

beautiful, very intelligent
woman without a wedding ring.

You have to know guys
are going to hit

on you this weekend.

-Oh, boy. Oh, my God.
-Like... a ton of guys.

99% of them
might be total losers,

but maybe, just maybe,

one of these guys might turn
out to be, you know, Mr. Right.

I've already met.
Mr. Right. Mr. Right...

Mr. Right can do no wrong.

Put that thing away!

Jesus, you serious--

You seriously travel
with that thing? Do you, like,

pack it every time
you're hopping on a plane?

Toothbrush, check. Deodorant,
check. Oversized dildo, check.

Mr. Right is my favorite
traveling companion.

I bet.

Mr. Right can do no wrong.

He doesn't bitch and moan,

he gives me what I want
when I want it,

I just have my way with him.
What's he going to do?

Say no?
He's not in the mood?

Uh, most men are in the mood
most of the time.

As hard as it may be
for you to believe,

uh, I didn't fly all
the way out here to meet a guy.

That is not why I'm here.

Let me guess, you're here
for the two-for-one happy hour?

To be honest,
I wasn't planning

on being here initially.

Never in a million years did

I think I'd go
to my college reunion.

Well, what changed your mind?

You.

I was looking
at your post online,

you know, you reposted
to the invitation

and you were telling
other people to repost it,

and you shared
the link to RSVP,

I mean, God, it was safe
to assume that you were coming.

It was safe to assume
you'd be here.

You came here because
you knew I was coming?

Because of me.

Because of us.

Us?

-Us.
-Us?

-Us.
-You, like--

Are you, like, having second
thoughts about breaking up

with me?

I have some, uh,

regrets, I guess, about
how I handled the situation.

But, I don't hold it
against you.

You know, like,
water under the bridge.

Don't think I'm
batshit crazy.

Crazy is one thing, batshit is--

Yeah, I still think
about you, like, all the time.

I mean, I haven't--
You're not even a part of my--

It's not like
I've seen you since school.

But there you are.
You're, like, hovering--

you're like this big,
black Calvin cloud

- always hanging over me.
- Ominous.

Closure.

I need to close
that chapter of my life

-so I can move on with my life.
-Closure? Okay.

After this,
we both go our separate ways.

After this, we probably
won't see each other again.

Maybe, like, ever. So, this
is it. It's just tonight.

One night. One last chance
to say goodbye for good.

I mean,
goodbye is a foregone--

Goodbye is inevitable.

We're all adults here. We're
not animals.

-Mm-hm.
-Yeah, yeah, okay.

We might still have
feelings for each other.

We might have a certain...

- attraction.
- Mm-hmm.

All of this is fun,
but none of this is...

I mean, is it--
None of this is actionable.

We're not, uh,

we don't have
any illusions, right?

We're not sitting
here misleading each other,

or leading each other on.
I'm married. Happily married.

- Very happily.
- So am I. Hm.

-Wait.
-I was fucking with you.

Yeah, I married
Mike seven years ago.

He's a cardiac surgeon.

Talk about hands.
We have a kid, a little boy.

-Light of my life.
-Kid? Ah!

That's-- How old?

Two. Billy's two.

He just turned two, actually,
and Mike is Irish Catholic.

He has, like-- He wants
to have, like, five kids,

which is like--
I'm like, whoa,

easier said than done, Mike.

Easier said than done.
My uterus is on hiatus.

So, uh, are they, uh-- Is your
husband coming here to the--

No, no, no. Yeah,
they're back in Sarasota.

We have a house on the water,
on the ocean, actually,

which is so nice. But...

Earlier you said, well I--

I think you said you
flew in from Phoenix.

Correct me if I'm wrong.
Earlier, I asked you

where you
were based and you said Phoenix.

I said that, um, so I spend
a lot of time in Phoenix

because Phoenix
is corporate headquarters.

So that's probably
what you heard.

Oh, I think I thought I heard
you say you were based there.

He said she said, I guess.

Do you-- I'm sure you travel
a lot with your line of work.

Totally, yeah.

Marketing is one of
those things where, you know,

you have to go to the client,
not the other way around.

I thought
you said pharmaceuticals.

Marketing for pharmaceuticals.

Oh, must be tough,
airport to airport,

especially with a family.
Have you been Facetiming--

Sorry, what's his, uh?

Will, my son's
name's Will. Yeah.

I was glued to my phone
at the airport.

I thought you said his
name was Billy?

Okay. Yes. So that's a nickname.

So, do you guys
not do nicknames over

at the McMansion?

Do you really have a kid?

Do you really work
in pharmaceuticals?

I enjoy pharmaceuticals.
I partake.

Too much partaking,
perhaps, in my past.

But, uh, let's just say that

I am simpatico
with controlled substances.

I'm sorry, I'm confused.

I'm a compulsive liar.

So, wait, you were
lying about being single,

or lying about being married?

Are you lying
about being happily married?

Because of happily married man

wouldn't have joined
me for a drink.

Hang on.

Can you please tell me
what you're trying to tell me?

Where do you actually live?

I've lived all over.
Joliet, Sarasota, Des Moines.

I've been, uh, bouncing around.

I've been living out of
motels that have mini fringes,

I've been living off
food stamps.

Shit hole, to shit hole.
I can't keep it all straight.

Are you being serious
right now?

Yeah, I have some
pretty serious problems.

I have, like, zero money.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
College reunion.

People are supposed to talk
about how great they're doing.

Everything's just hunky dory.

But, let's uh--
let's cut the shit, right?

Let's let shit get real.

Let's be honest
with each other, Cal.

I'm at the bottom
of the deepest, darkest pit

and I'm not
talking about Cleveland.

Physically, emotionally,
financially.

Can't your husband--

What husband? He left me
and took my kid or I left him.

Either way, he's a nonentity,
non-- non-existent.

Or, check this out,
maybe he never existed.

Maybe Mike the cardiac surgeon
is a figment of my imagination.

Are your parents--

They're out
of the picture. Yeah.

They Photoshopped
themselves out of my life,

persona non grata
once I dropped out of college.

-Wait a minute. You--
-Yeah, I dropped out.

That's why you couldn't
register me before.

You couldn't find
my name on the list of alumni

because I'm not
technically an alumni,

because I didn't
technically graduate.

Holy shit. I had no idea.

Well, I mean,
we had no contact, really

after we broke up.
We didn't exactly stay in touch.

I wasn't, like,
keeping you abreast

of my academic travails.

I thought I heard you'd
transferred, or maybe I just--

No, I didn't transfer.
I dropped out.

-Yeah.
-Why?

I don't know. You don't
need a degree to be an actor.

You know, the whole
idea of paying

for a piece of paper
that legitimizes your artistic

prowess, I mean, it's a scam,
right? It's a total shakedown.

I was getting deeper
and deeper in debt,

and I just figured, fuck it.

I'll just try my luck
acting in the city.

Good for you.

It was not.
It was not good for me.

The waiting tables,
the constant rejection,

the regional theater. I shit
you not, I played Lavinia

in a Titus Andronicus
that was set in outer space.

The director literally set
the mise en scene on Mars.

I'd like to see that.

Ugh. My career
has not been super awesome.

I started looking
at it objectively,

I started getting
super depressed

and I started doing drugs,
like, a lot of drugs,

like, an astonishing amount of
narcotics have entered my body.

But I am done
with that shit now.

Uh...

I just got out of rehab,
actually. Don't worry, um,

I'm actually
just drinking orange juice.

Rehab?

Yeah. Literally
came here straight from rehab.

I'm actually not
even staying in this hotel.

I couldn't afford a room.

I'm thinking I might sleep
in the fitness center.

I can get you--

And lied about
the airport. I took the bus.

Not the good bus,
the bus that's,

like, $10 and there's dried
throw up on the upholstery.

But I was
at this place in Peoria.

I was like, um, like
an inpatient, like, you know,

like, you live there-type place.

And I've spent a lot of time
in a lot of facilities,

but this facility was,
like, holistic.

This was like, you know,
Bikram yoga? Guided meditation,

learning to start
helping myself

instead of
hurting myself. Well...

Burning myself,
actually, I would, um,

I would light a lighter and
I would take the little flame

and I would burn
little bitty parts of my body,

the back of the knee,
the pinky toe, the armpit.

It's a strange smell,

the smell of burning skin.
It kind of smells like kielbasa.

- Rachel--
- But, I'm better now.

I-- uh, they
helped me get better.

I had this counsellor,
Mary Ellen,

and Mary Ellen was all about
cutting shit out at the source.

If you don't find the source,

you'll never
find a way to wellness.

The pathways don't matter.

Therapy, methadone,
a macrobiotic diet.

And Mary Ellen had this mantra.
You can't face yourself

in the mirror if you don't
face down your demons first.

Demons?

My-- my point is, what
Mary Ellen helped me realize

is I can't get clean
and sober until I get this shit,

all this shit off my chest
and out of my system.

Get it all out.

It sounds extreme
or something to say this,

but I think
it needs to be said.

My life basically ended
after our relationship ended.

Believe me,
it wasn't easy on me either.

I went through a--

I was in a pretty
bad place for a long time.

I didn't just move on.
You weren't just some girl.

You were literally the only
person I was with in college.

You were like this superhuman
entity that landed in my life

in some extraterrestrial
spacecraft.

I didn't even recognize you
as the same species.

It was just, like,
"What is this? What is this?

What is this beautiful
being all about?

Just the way your mind works,
just the way--

I would just stare at you

and picture
the rest of my life with you,

and there is no way
my life wouldn't be better

with you in it.

Sorry your life
hasn't worked out better.

I'm sorry that you've
taken some wrong turns, and--

I'm sorry to say I still
don't understand.

After all these years,
if you loved me then

like I loved you,
why did you break up with me?

Because you raped me.

What?

Because you raped me.

Is this some kind of, uh...

What is this, Rachel?
What's happening?

We both know what happened
that night at that party.

I think you think
you know what happened.

Oh, I know that I know.

You know that's not true. You
can't just-- I--

That's not a word
you can just throw around.

What word? Rape? Rapey-rape?
Rapey pants?

Rachel, stop. Please.

-You didn't stop, why should I?
-No.

"No" means "yes."
"No" means try harder.

-Rachel, I'm trying to--
-Cal.

I-- I want to-- I want to be s--

I want to be sensitive
about this. I want to--

I want to handle--
handle this sensitively,

You're a sensitive guy.

Because I know you're going
through a rough patch.

I know you're in
a fragile place emotionally.

I know you're
in a vulnerable position.

You put me in
a vulnerable position.

Well, let's just
de-escalate for one second.

Let's just take a moment
to collect ourselves

and talk about this
in a reasonable--

To have a rational conversation.

Am I acting irrationally?

Am I crying?

Am I hysterical?

Am I walking around
blowing a rape whistle?

Let's talk about this.

So, you can talk
yourself out of this?

- Out of what?
- Out of trouble?

- I'm not in trouble.
- Not yet.

Rachel, I'm willing
to hear you out.

Magnanimous.

I want to hear what
you have to say.

-I'm not trying to dismiss you.
-I will not be dismissed.

Exactly. Totally. I'm not--

I'm not--

I'm just a little bit shocked.

Don't mistake my being taken
aback for being incredulous.

I believe in believing
the victim.

I believe in giving
the victim the benefit of the--

These are things
I believe in.

These are positions I take.
I take the woman's side.

I'm not some--

I'm a strong supporter
of women having a voice,

women having every right to--

I mean,
if you were sitting here

and telling me some-- some man
had done something to you, 100%

I would believe you,
without a doubt. Without--

Without hesitation. It just
so happens the man is me

and I happen to know
what really happened,

and what didn't happen.

I didn't expect you to come
right out and confess.

Confess?

Confess what?

You have every reason
to deny it.

But denial is not sustainable.
Trust me, it just festers.

It's just, God-- Just
like this malignant growth.

Look, it took me a long
time to be able

to come out and say it, too.

It took me a long time to be
able to admit it to myself,

not to mention anybody else.

But once I did, once I could
tell myself the truth,

I could tell
other people the truth

and it was like this weight
had been lifted.

I imagine it might
be the same for you, too.

I mean, it must be hard
keeping it to yourself,

keeping it from your wife,
your kids, your--

your boss.

Everybody knows you
as one kind of person,

but nobody knows the kind
of person you really are.

How many people have you told?

Just a few people.

The people
at the place in Peoria,

Mary Ellen--

You told
your therapist my name?

Maybe just your first name.
I don't really remember.

Help me remember. Okay?

Tell me what you think I did.

Walk me through it, step
by step so I can comprehend--

so I can wrap my head
around your accusation,

and clarify
any misunderstandings.

- Misunderstandings?
- Yes,

because that's
what I think this is. One big--

And maybe we can come

to a better understanding
of that night, together.

Together.

I really don't
want this to be adversarial.

I'm not trying to be
confrontational,

or defensive about this.

Relax. You're not a defendant.
You're not on the stand.

And I'm not trying
to cross-examine you.

I'm not trying
to poke holes in your--

Well, poking
is the topic at hand.

I'm just trying to--

I think it would be useful

for us to reach
some kind of consensus,

at least a framework of, um--

To reconstruct the events
of that night and say,

"Hey what do
we remember here?

What-- what might
we be misremembering?"

I remember the party.

The party-- The house party
my roommates decided to throw

behind my back. Uh, I had
midterms the next day

and I was studying in
the corner until you showed up.

Showed up, kind of, uh,

remember I came
late after my play?

I was doing the Euripides play,
uh, and the party was packed.

The music was super loud, we
couldn't even hear each other.

But you said you had something
you needed to tell me,

something important
and you took me upstairs.

You-- No, I asked you if you
wanted to go upstairs

so we could talk, so
we could hear ourselves think.

-You took me upstairs.
-You followed me.

You took me into your bedroom,
you closed the door.

-I didn't lock it.
-We-- we were in your bedroom

and you asked me to sit
down and I asked you,

"What did you want to tell me?"

-I told you how I felt.
-You told me the last six months

were the best months
of your life.

-They were.
-I couldn't really hear you

because of the music, but

I think you were trying
to tell me that you loved me.

I did. But you didn't
tell me you loved me back.

You didn't respond.

I was, like waiting
on pins and needles.

I was processing.

There was, like,
this long pause,

the longest pause of my life.

You didn't tell me what you
were thinking, you just--

-You told me to--
-I told you I needed a drink.

I left the room
to get you a drink.

You stayed in the room.
You decided to stay.

I stayed.

You brought me back a drink,
a very strong drink.

A solo cup full of whiskey,
which you chugged.

I chugged it?

I chugged one, too.
It was not one sided.

-You kissed me.
-You kissed me back.

We were-- we were kissing.

You started
to take my clothes off.

-You took off my clothes, too.
-You took out--

Remember, you took that mask
out of my backpack?

This satyr mask
from the play, yes.

You ran around
the room buck naked,

pretending to be
a mythical goat.

Like I said,
I was a lightweight.

Get some whiskey in me
and I'm playing farm animals.

We started making out.
We started doing other stuff.

We only did other stuff up to
that point in our relationship,

six months
of doing other stuff.

-But we never actually--
-Did the deed.

We never-- we never made love.

We talked about-- In the past,
we had had conversations

about maybe taking things
to the next level--

We'd talked about it,
but we hadn't decided.

Taking it, right. We were taking
it one step at a-- There were--

there were steps along the way,
steps we both took--

We took our time
with the foreplay aspect.

The foreplay aspect?

The aspect of-- You liked
it when I did certain--

Certain things to you.

Oral sex?

Jesus. Oral sex.
Yes, I was--

Going down on me?

Going down on you. Yes.
Yes, that night.

The night in question.

The night of, uh, you asked
me to-- I was performing--

-I asked you?
-I mean, you indicated--

-Indicated?
-You seemed to imply--

-You seemed to be requesting--
-Requesting?

You grabbed my goddamn hair

and pushed my face
between your legs.

I was performing--

You wanted me to perform--

-Cunnilingus.
-Can we agree?

I agree.

You're an expert
in the cunnilingus department.

Jesus So.

-There I was--
-Eating me out.

-Can we not?
-You flipped me over.

No, no, no, no. You turned over,
I didn't flip you.

You flipped yourself
over onto your, um--

I was face down on the bed.

Yes. Because I was-- In
the past-- In past encounters,

you asked me to do it like that,
you taught me how to--

You said you liked it like that,
when I used my fingers.

From behind. Uh...

That was
an established thing, right?

You liked it when
I fingered you from behind.

You had said
on previous conversations,

you said that
the angle felt better.

I felt like
I was going to die.

All of a sudden,
I felt really weird.

I started seeing weird stuff.

You know, I could see you out
of the corner of my eye,

you were behind me. You were
wearing that goat mask.

Except now, I shit you not,
you looked like an actual goat.

Like, your body. It was like
an actual goat body.

You had, like, hooves,
and this massive erection,

and you made this loud noise,
this, like...

Like a bleating noise.

Then my eyes just
went black.

Like someone just took

a sharp being blacked
out my eyeballs.

That's the last
thing I remember.

Don't remember the actual--

Two drinks
don't make you black out.

Two drinks don't
make you hallucinate

and think your boyfriend
has turned into a goat.

It wasn't that
I had too much to drink,

there was something
in my drink.

Rachel, I swear to God, okay?

The only thing I put
in your drink was

a very generous
pour of whiskey.

An entire solo cup full of
whiskey. That's what you drank.

Drinking the equivalent of six

or seven shots is going to
make you a little sleepy--

I didn't just
fall asleep. No, no, no.

I, uh, passed the fuck out
and woke up the next morning.

I woke up with you, remember?

I got you that bacon,
egg and cheese?

Do you always
bring breakfast in bed

to the girls
you give roofies to?

Rachel.

I woke up, I got dressed
without saying a word,

and I walked
all the way across campus.

It's a long walk,
the longest walk of my life.

Got home, took a shower.
I took it sitting down

and I didn't take off
my underwear.

My underwear
had blood on it.

Blood?
Why would there be blood?

I made up that stuff
about sleeping around.

I hadn't slept with anyone.

It was my first time

and I wanted
my first time to be with you,

I actually did, but I didn't
want it like that.

You are a compulsive liar.

I called you that night
and broke up with you,

but I didn't call anyone else.
I didn't even call my parents,

-and I never reported it.
-Reported what?

You fucked me in my sleep.

You fucked me
when I wasn't awake.

Of course, you were awake.
You were making noises.

-You were moaning and groaning.
-People talk in their sleep.

Why can people moan
and groan in their sleep?

You were moving,
I saw your body move.

It was super dark in your room.

I saw your reactions.
I saw your reactions.

You definitely had definite
physical and vocal reactions,

reactions to
what I was doing sexually.

You weren't exactly
incapacitated.

Uh, I wasn't exactly
participating either.

Hey, how could I participate
when I was lying face down,

my face buried in the back.

Do you honestly think
I'd have sex with someone

who is unconscious,
with someone I loved?

-I mean, you did.
-No. No,

there were steps along the--
I stopped.

I stopped and checked
to make sure you were into it.

I lifted up a mask, the goat
mask thing, and I kissed you

and I said, I have--
I said, I have protection.

I said the words--

"I have protection"
could mean I have a gun.

"I have protection"
doesn't necessarily mean

I have a condom.

Standard
interpretations.

Of course it means
I have a condom.

"I have protection" is totally
synonymous with I have a condom,

which is what I said to you

and you said the words, "Okay,"
which I took as an indication--

-Even if I did,
-Which you did.

Even if I did,
"Okay" can be interpreted

in a wide variety
of different ways.

Again, standard interpretation.

Standard usage of "Okay"
would be approval or assent.

I mean, right?

I mean, am I crazy?

Besides, how could
you hear anything?

The party was so loud,
the music.

Isn't it possible
that maybe you think you heard

me mumble the words,
"Okay," when I--

I was really
trying to say, "Go away?"

You laughed.

We were laughing because
I couldn't get the condom on.

I had to open a new one.
It made us laugh.

I was laughing,
you were laughing. Which--

How could you be laughing
if you're unconscious?

Was I laughing
or was I crying?

It was slow,

it was gentle,

I was careful not to--

I put myself
inside you from behind.

It wasn't, like, a sneak attack.

It was only after you had
signaled, or indicated,

or generally hinted at
approval. It wasn't rough,

it wasn't forcible,
it wasn't one sided.

-You were making noises.
-Noises?

Noises, noises, noises?

Yes, you were making noises.
Noises like you liked it.

I'm not making this up,
I swear.

I heard you make noises.

Is it-- No, I--

is it possible you were
not exactly with it

and drifting in and out
of consciousness? Maybe.

Is it possible you fell
asleep during the deed

and I didn't notice

because your face
was face down on the bed

and your hair
was covering your face

and I was wearing that mask
with, like, severely limited

visibility, so maybe I wasn't
reading the nuances,

the subtlety of your facial--
I don't know--

Just expressions?

Maybe. Maybe.

I don't know.
I don't know.

All I know
is I would never,

ever consciously hurt you.

It just--

Happened really fast.

So fast.

We just got carried away
and things got out of hand

and I really regret
that I-- That we did not have

the wherewithal, the judgment
to stop this whole thing

before it got started.

Two drunk college kids,
naked on a bed.

What's going to happen?
Something good?

Things are going to get messy.

Things are bound to be subject
to interpretation.

I admit my interpretation could
be just as faulty as yours.

It's been a long time.

Geez it's-- it's a real long
time for me to sit here and say

I have the definitive,
dispositive play-by-play

replay is not--

I can't do that.
Neither can you.

Neither of us can say
with complete certainty.

All I can say is--

All I can ask is
what's more likely?

That I'm some pathological
sexual offender?

Or that I was
too intoxicated myself

to tell how intoxicated
you were?

To appropriately
interpret your consent.

I didn't consent.

Legally speaking.

Legally.

Are we talking
about legality now?

Because legally speaking,
something like this--

Something that happened
this long ago,

it's very hard to prove.

It's very expensive. Lawyers.

Maybe you could
loan me one of yours.

I'm sure you have
the best lawyers money can buy.

I do, actually.

Conflict of interest,
I suppose.

Our state is one
of the states that has

a statute of limitations,

a limit on how long
you have to press charges.

Ooh.

Did you, like, look it up?

So did I.

The statute only
applies to adults,

adult victims.

You were a Junior,
I was a freshman.

You were 19, I was 17.

I was a minor. Legally speaking,
it was statutory.

Legally speaking.

it's a felony to fuck a child.

The statute of limitations
doesn't apply.

Oh, God.

What would happen
to a guy like you in prison?

What would happen
in the shower?

You're tight, white ass would
get creamed on a weekly basis.

Then, and only then, will you
feel a sliver of what I felt.

Then, and only then,

with a cock in your rectum,
will you know what it's like

to be violated.

Whatever you do,
do not drop the soap.

Okay, sorry.

Oh, my gosh.
Your face.

I'm fucking with you, Cal.
I'm not going to press charges.

Aw.

I'm glad you said that, Rachel.
That's a relief.

I'm relieved.

An innocent man
should want to clear

his name in a court of law.

Innocent men
don't exist anymore.

Boo hoo!

I think we can settle
this out of court.

I think we can-- I think
we can reach a settlement.

Yes. Let's settle
this once and for all.

Neither one of us
wants to drag this out.

I want you
to walk away feeling--

Having felt that I understood
where you were coming from.

You don't understand,
but you will.

As long as you
understand that I maintain my--

I still respectfully disagree
with your interpretation

of the--

Maybe we can agree to disagree?

Maybe we can say something
went wrong that night.

We made the wrong choices,
the wrong decisions,

but it's time to make it right.

I want to make it right.
I want to help you.

You think I need help?

Substance abuse is
a serious issue.

Mental health is not
a priority in this country.

I can get you help.

The best therapists,
the best facilities.

You wanted to l--
you want to ship me away?

Lock me in the loony bin?

I spent some time in the
loony bin, not super helpful.

I'm not talking
about loony bins,

I'm talking about a place,

a high end place
to help you get clean,

get on your feet again.
All expenses paid.

I'll have my assistant put
together a list of facilities.

Money doesn't matter to me,

what matters is
your wellbeing--

The only thing that matters
to you is getting rid of me,

getting me to shut my mouth.

No, I'm trying to help
you get things back on track.

I have access to-- it's easy
for me to arrange a few--

What are the things that
would be useful to you?

Name the things.
You need a car?

-A job?
-Hm.

A down payment
on an apartment?

- Wow.
- Fifty grand.

I'll Venmo you 50 grand.
Right here, right now.

Start your own theater company.
Put on your own plays.

It's not a handout,
it's an investment.

I'm taking a financial interest
in you, in your future.

Ugh. I'm more interested
in the past.

Seventy-five!
Seventy-five!

You can walk out
of this bar with 75k.

What's that saying
about prostitutes?

You don't pay them for sex,
you pay them to leave?

-That's not what this is.
-A million.

A million.

I know your net worth,

and I know you're worth
a lot more than that.

The question is,
what is it worth to you?

-Hmm?
-I have the money.

I can get you the--

The money is not the issue.

The issue is by saying
okay to the money,

I'm saying essentially
that I did it.

And?

And I didn't.

Fucking with you, Cal.

I don't want your money.

-You don't want my money?
-I don't want your money.

Can you tell me
what you do want?

Can we talk about
this in private?

Privacy.

Yes.

Discretion, of course.

Why don't we, uh, yeah.

Why don't we get the check
and get out of here?

Why don't we go back
to your room?

I'm a married man.

The majority of men
can't keep it in their pants.

They did a study.

I've never cheated on my wife.

I've never cheated
on my husband.

Do you actually have
a husband?

Do you actually care about me?

Okay, okay. Can we--

can we stop playing games,
if at all possible?

It's all fun and games until
someone gets hurt.

Do you want to hurt me, Cal?

I want a drink.

I could use a drink.

Didn't you just tell me
you just get out of rehab?

Do you believe everything
everybody tells you?

Please tell me
there's a mini bar.

Where is the mini bar?

Whiskey, for, uh,
old times' sake. Yeah?

That'll take the edge off,
right?

You gotta relax, Cal.

There's no reason this
can't be, um, fun, right?

We can make this kind
of romantic.

Hey, do you mind if I play
some music? That would be--

Oh, yes. Your screen's locked.
What's your--

want to punch in your
little, um, code thingy?

Do you want to dance?

I don't.

Come on. Dance with me, Cal.

You were
never a very good dancer.

Nope.

You were always too uptight.

Yeah.

You need to loosen up, Cal.

Just let it all hang loose.

We had a good thing, Cal.

Do you remember
how good our thing was?

Yes.

Do you remember
how good it felt?

To feel me?

-Yes
-Yeah?

Thought you said
no hard feelings.

You feel pretty hard to me.

Okay, okay, okay.

All right.
This is getting weird.

Speaking of weird...

Rachel?

Oh, do you want
to put on a play?

A little, uh,
a little reenactment.

A little performance art?

Don't be shy, just
do what she did that night.

I'll play me, you'll pay you.
Okey dokey?

Act one, scene one.

I'm laying like this,
face down.

-Helpless, lifeless.
-I don't want to do this.

Do what you did and do me,
Cal.

-Rachel, no. No.
-Do it!

Oh, I'm sorry, am
I'm making you uncomfortable?

I-- I just got to ask
you to leave.

Oh, I'm not going anywhere.

You can kick me out,
but I'll, uh--

I just keep coming back.

I'll just keep showing up.

Uh, at the gym,
at the grocery store,

at soccer games
on Saturday morning.

Maybe I'll swing by

the McMansion, 121 Artesian
Street, right?

Maybe your wife
can give me a tour.

Leave my wife out of this.

Do you think, um--

Sara would leave you

if she found out
what kind of porn you like?

Gotta clear that
browser history, bro.

-Give me the--
-Porn like this?

You don't want to leave
this lying around the house.

Your daughters
might be disgusted

-by Daddy's viewing habits.
-Give me the--

You like to watch
the rough stuff, huh?

This girl's got a gag
in her mouth.

Handcuffs?
This is hardcore, Cal.

-This is barely legal.
-Give me the computer!

Thought you didn't like porn.
Thought you weren't a porn guy.

When I'm traveling.

When I'm away on business.
Every guy likes to watch--

This isn't even porn.
This isn't a porn star,

this just some girl in some
basement being bound

and gagged and violated
against her will.

This is some sick shit, Cal.

Okay, you know what?
I think I've had enough.

I think I've been more than
willing to-- up to this point,

I've really tried my best
to accommodate you.

-Accommodate me?
-But really, I mean,

at some point, like,
enough is enough.

At some point,
you've convinced yourself

you have some kind of
leverage over me.

Enough leverage to extort me,
to threaten me,

to make threats that you're
somehow going to destroy

my life because you think
I destroyed yours?

Well, think again.
You can't blackmail me,

you can't get me to capitulate.

You are not negotiating
from a position of power.

All right? Trust me,
I've been on the winning end

of a lot of negotiations.

I've been in rooms,
in arbitration,

arbitrating equity on a level
way beyond your comprehension.

There's a time to broker
a deal, and there's a time

to walk away from the table,
and I'm telling you, Rachel,

it's time for you to find
the closest exit

before I call my counsel,

which is not one person,
it's many people,

and they will ring you out,
Rachel.

They will hang you out to dry.

They will simply dismantle
you piece by piece.

They will take you apart.

I mean, who are you, really?

Who is Rachel Lerner?
A college dropout?

A drug addict? A junkie
who's been in and out of rehab,

a part-time prostitute?

somebody who, I'm assuming,
sucked some dick

for money at some point
in her life.

I'm sensing some credibility
issues, some character issues.

You see, you don't
have a hand to play

because you don't have
any proof.

Go tell everyone
what you think I did. Go!

No one will believe you. Why?

Because you're you, and I'm me.

Who are you? I mean, really.

Who is Calvin Green?

We're done doing this.
We're done.

I can't prove a negative.

It's an impossible-- it's
an epistemological problem.

It's a semantic dispute.
I'm saying I didn't do it.

You're saying I did.
What's the definition of did,

-what's the definition of it?
-You know what you did.

What do I have to do to get
you to walk out that door?

I'm ready to walk
out that door.

I'm ready to close that door
behind me, forever.

If?

If you do something for me,
first.

-Name it.
-You're not going to like it.

A million was just
the opening bid.

The bid is in your
court to counter.

Here's my offer.

It won't be easy,
it won't be fun.

But once you do it,
I promise this whole ordeal

will be over and you
will never see me again.

Tell me what to do,
tell me what you need.

The truth.

I've been telling you
the truth all day.

The truth, as I remember it.

- Tell me the truth.
- There's not one--

there's no definitive-- there's
no Archimedes point here.

-Tell me the truth!
-Whose truth is that, Rachel?

What truth?

You want me to just tell you
what I think really happened?

Or you want me to tell you
what you want to hear?

-Tell me the truth!
-Okay, okay, fine. Okay, fine.

Here's the--
here's the truth, Rachel.

The truth, according to you,
here's your version of events.

Here's what you want me to say.

You want me
to--what? Incriminate myself?

Throw myself under the bus?
Demonize myself?

Fine. Fine. Okay. I'm a demon.

I'm a demon! I'm a demon.

But you are a cock tease.

That's the truth. The truth
is six months we dated,

six months--
and we never had sex.

Even though you fucked
your fair share

of the student population,

even though you fucked
all these random guys.

God forbid you meet a good guy

who actually cared about you.

A nice guy who goes out
on a limb,

tells you
he actually loves you.

With that guy
you want to go slow,

you don't want to go
all the way.

You wanna go slow, like
you're-- like you're suddenly

this squeaky clean
little schoolgirl.

-Suddenly, this virgin--
-I was.

Bullshit!
There I was-- there I was.

I remember--
I remember it so vividly.

There I was at the party,
telling you I loved you.

I was telling you I loved you,
spilling my guts out.

But you didn't tell me
you loved me back.

You told me to get you
another drink.

You seem to think
I drugged that drink.

You seem convinced that
I slipped you something.

So let's just say, okay, fine.
Fine, Rachel. You win.

I slipped you something,
I spiked it.

I spiked that shit.
I spiked it.

For the sake of the argument,
let's just say I spiked it.

Let's just say
I had every intention

to have my way with you.
My intentions were not good,

and I'm not a good guy.
I'm just a total animal.

I'm a total fucking monster.
From your point of view,

I'm just a total fucking prick,
a fucking monster-- fuck,

an apex predator of pussy.
I'm a sick fuck.

You're so right about me,
Rachel. You're so right.

And it wasn't just you,
you were just the start.

You were just the beginning.

When I was going to grad
school, when I was getting

my MBA, I'd get in my car
and I drive over

to the shitty part of Philly,
the part with the prostitutes,

and I'd pick up these
prostitutes, yeah, every one,

and I'd just pick 'em up.
I pick 'em up and some of them

will actually let you
t-- tie them up and shit,

some of them will actually let
you strangle them for, like,

not that much money for, like,
you know, basically like $27.

You basically almost--
you choke a sex worker

in the backseat of your Prius.

How sick and twisted is that?

But hey, that's me, right?
Sick puppy.

Ooh, take this au pair.
Au pair, this 19-year-old

au pair from Belarus,
or wherever the fuck.

Day one, she's flirting
with me in front of my wife.

Like, pretty overt flirting.
Like, touching my arm,

like, laughing too hard
at all my jokes.

My wife was like, my wife was
like, this is getting weird!

I tried to discourage it,
I-- I tried playing it down,

The au pair
couldn't get the hint.

Finally, one night,
late at night,

I, uh, I had to go
into the guest house,

and I guess
I took her by surprise,

because she starts
hitting me and biting me

to the point where I had
actually put a pillowcase

over her head
so she would calm down.

My dick was so far up
her ass until she realized

the more she moved,
the more hurt.

She got the message
loud and clear,

because the next day at dinner,

she's the most professional
au pair in the world.

No more flirting, no more
laughing at all my jokes.

I guess she didn't find me
funny anymore.

Oh, and my assistant-- 22,
smoking hot. Right?

And she knows it, you know?

I mean, who shows up to
an office Christmas party

wearing what amounts
to a mini skirt?

Who binge drinks
at an office Christmas party

and gets so drunk
that she gets sick in

the women's bathroom
and blacks out in the stall?

My assistant.

I just lock the bathroom door,
right?

I go to town on
that tight little pussy.

She's out like a light,
and to this day,

she has no idea
what I did to her.

Can we stop doing this now?
Or do you need to hear more?

You need me
to come out and say it?

Hi, everybody.
I, Calvin Green am a rapist.

I rape people for a living.
I raped you, Rachel.

If you don't get
the fuck out of here,

and get the fuck out of
my life, I will rape you again.

Maybe twice,

depending
on how fast I blow my load!

The fuck are you doing?
Sudoku?

I just want to make sure
I sent this to the right...

I want to make sure I have
the right addresses for them.

-What have you--
-Oh, I just, um--

I just e-mailed your wife,
and your boss. I just-- uh--

-Sent a little email.
-You email my-- my wife?

And your boss.

What have you done?

You did it yourself.

Like I said...

surveillance state.

She's out like a light,

and to this day, she has no
idea what I did to her.

Can we stop doing this now,
or do you need to hear more?

Do you need me to come out
and say it? Hi, everybody.

- Mm.
- I-- Calvin Green am a rapist.

I rape people for a living.
I raped you, Rachel.

If you don't get
the fuck out of here,

and get the fuck out
of my life,

I will rape you again,
maybe twice.

Depending on how fast
I blow my load.

It's not true...

what I said.

I was saying
what you wanted me to say.

I was...

I was making it up?

I just made that up.

I just made that shit up.
Okay, Rachel?

I didn't actually do
any of that stuff.

I never did anything
to you, or anybody else.

Wha-- Why are you
doing this to me?

No one will believe you.

Do you really believe that?

Fuck you, you fucking bitch.

No... Please...

No.

No. No, no.