Oklahoma Annie (1952) - full transcript

# Oh a little old train

# Was speeding
through the mountain #

# All the passengers
was in bed #

# Holler to the fireman

# Just look on
the track A-head #

# I fear there will
be a great disaster #

# We will all be
killed and how #

How?

# They're out there
strolling down #

# The railroad track

# Is a great big old red cow



Well, what'll I do?

# Oh you'd better
blow the whistle #

Then what?

# You'd better ring the bell

# Clear the air, say a prayer

# Blow the whistle,
blow the whistle #

# Ring the bell

# There was no train wreck
on the fatal evening #

# No, no

# The train got
stopped somehow #

# That train got stopped

# The trusty brakeman
with his lantern. #

# drow away the cow

Go ahead, I'll stay
here and keep watch.



# Say the air, say a prayer

# Blow the whistle,
blow the whistle #

# Ring the bell.

How do you like it?

Oh fine, I'll take it.

If I pay a deposit on it

will you hold it till Christmas?

You bet ya I will, Bobby.

With the tax,
that'll be $86.66.

Okay, here's the six cents.

Hi, neighbor.

Howdy.

What can I do for ya?

Give me a box of 45 shells

and about three feet
of dynamite fuse.

Yes, sir.

How much for
this gun belt and holster?

Oh, that ain't for sale.

That belonged to my grandma.

If I sold that, she'd haunt me.

She sure got the face for it.

Is that so?

My grandma was the
greatest woman sheriff

this country ever had.

Ain't you never heard
of Oklahoma Annie?

A woman sheriff?

That's a laugh.

Did she ride side saddle?

Listen, mister,

my grandma could do anything

a man sheriff could do,
only better.

The bad men in these parts
were so scared of her

they either come reformed
or hung theyselves

by way of cooperating.

That'll be $3.00, please.

Judy?

Howdy, Miss Fling,
what can I do for ya?

I wanna buy a flatiron.

- Another one?
What happened to the old one?

- The handle fell off.
You know, they don't stand up.

Nice balance.

Like to try it?

Yeah, I think I better.

Sure I don't want ya buying
nothing you can't use.

Is your husband's
insurance paid up?

I better check that first,

thanks, Judy.

There, looks worried already.

Okay, let her flicker!

Bullseye!

I'll take it.

Just put it on my bill.

How do we stand
on my account, Judy?

You're practically
a cash customer.

That $2 you gave me last month

pays you up
to the first of the year.

This year?

No, ma'am, last year.

How do you ever
keep your books straight, Judy?

I put my paid bills
in one pile under P

and my unpaid bills
in another pile under U.

I call it my PU system.

Oh, I almost forgot,
I want an alarm clock,

one that'll wake my husband up.

Here's a nice heavy one.

This one will either wake him up

or put him to sleep.

Heavens to Betsy,
I'm supposed to be

at the bank in Eureka
to see about renewing my loan!

Well, the bank will be closed

before you ever get there!

Oh, Mr. Potter
always stays few minutes

after closing time,
he'll let me in.

Shut the door when
you go out, will ya?

- Yeah.
- Thanks!

Closing time, Sam.

Bye, Mr. Jensen.

My regards
to your husband, Mrs. Jones.

I put the ledger
on your desk, Mr. Potter.

Thank you, Sam.

See you in the morning.

The bank's closed.

The bank's closed!

What do you want?

What is this, a stick up?

Curt Walker!

You got a good memory.

Alright, let's have it.

I'm afraid you're
wasting your time.

I don't think so.

But the money's
already in the safe!

And it has a time lock on it,

no one can open it before
nine o'clock tomorrow morning!

That's what you think.

Look you busy, Skip!

I don't want you
running around loose.

This won't do you any good.

Hurry it up, Skip.

Better get undercover
while she blows.

Mr. Potter.

What's that?

Mr. Potter!

Mr. Potter!

Mr. Potter!

That's something
to rouse the whole town.

Mr. Potter?

Mr. Potter?

Mr. Pot...

Help, help!

Help!

Help!

Sheriff, help!

Help!

Sheriff!

- What's wrong, Judy?
Judy, what's wrong?

Well, hello, supervisor,

somebody's blowing up the safe.

I gotta get the sheriff!

Hold on a minute here, hold on.

How do you know
they're blowing the safe?

Because.

There she goes!
Sheriff!

- Judy, wait!
- Sheriff!

Wait a minute, wait.

What is it?

The sheriff isn't in.

Well, where...?

Look, they'll get away.

Stop that, do
you wanna kill somebody?

That's what I was aiming to do.

What's going on here?

Somebody just robbed the bank.

Come on, we can still catch 'em.

Well, hold it here, hold it.

Let's see what happened first.

Alright, sheriff.

Mr. Potter!

Hey, give me a lift.

Here, bring him right over here.

We'll have you untied
in just a second.

There ya are.

- Did they get away?
- I'm afraid so.

- Get a good look at them?
- You bet I did.

One of them was Curt Walker.

- Curt Walker?
- Are you sure?

Curt Walker? Come
now, I don't imagine

he'd come back to these parts.

Well, it was him alright,

and I ought to know.

It was right here in this bank

that he killed old Sheriff Hardy.

Maybe we can still
catch him, let's go.

Just a minute, Miss Canova,

we've got a sheriff here.

He'll go after Walker.

You mean you had a sheriff.

From now on,
Mr. Supervisor, it's all yours.

I'm through.

Well, you picked
a fine time to resign.

I think it's a pretty good time.

I ain't got any hankering to be

the bravest man in the cemetery.

Here's your badge.

Well if you're
all so scared to death,

I'll go after him.

No, you don't.

Now Miss Judy,
you know you owe me money

and I can't take any chances
on you getting killed.

Hi, Blinky. Hey, Paydirt.

- Hi, Judy.
- Hey, Judy.

Say what's out here on the sign?

You ain't figured you're
going out of business, are ya?

No, at least wise I hope not.

You sure had us scared
there for a minute.

The bank getting robbed
kinda tightened up money,

so I can't renew my loan.

Gotta raise
some cash to pay it off.

Come on, Luther,

you want a little snort of water?

Come on, wet
your whistle over here.

Sure you don't need
nothing else, Miss Fling?

No, I think that'll be all.

Well, that's 22.60.

Well, everything's half price,

that's $11.30.

Just put it on the bill.

Miss Flint, this is
a cash raising sale.

And as soon as I raise some cash,

Judy, I'll give it to you.

I can't see, where's the door?

Wait, I'll help ya.

Over to the left.

That's it, turn a little bit.

There you are.

Thanks.

Forgot to tell
her about that step.

What can I do for ya, Miss Fudge?

I want 100 three
cent stamps, Judy.

Yeah.

Just a minute,
you paying cash for this?

Of course.

Ain't no profit in stamps

but at least I'll get
my money for them.

100 threes, that's $3.

You advertised everything
at half price, didn't you?

Here's a dollar and a half.

Miss Fudge!

Too late.

Well, go ahead
and ask her, ask her.

It's your turn,
I asked her last time.

You did no such another!

I asked her the last
time and I can prove it.

Ask me what?

Didn't I ask you the last time

if you would run stake us.

Well, I'll be diddly dad burned.

Darn your hide anyhow,

there you go getting
me to ask her again.

You ain't get no paid out yet.

Oh Judy, we're getting
mighty close to it.

I got a feeling in my bones

it won't be more
than a week or so.

We're gonna hit it
so doggone rich.

Alright boys, what do you need?

Well now, let me see,

we just need a couple
of little things.

Got everything you need?

I don't believe there's
any trinket we're gonna need.

Is there Blinky?

No, siree, with a stake like this,

we've got to hit it rich.

Go ahead, Blinky.

Go ahead now,
take it easy now, Blinky,

take it easy now.

She's liable to bob down.

I think she's kinda
holding together alright.

She'll be okay,
if you don't get a puncture.

Oh, he won't punch her.

Oh, by the way, you boys
going through Eureka,

you can save me a trip.

Why sure, Judy,
what can we do for you?

Gotta get this money to the bank

before it closes.

Tell Mr. Potter it's only $300
but it's all I got.

I'll bring the other 300
just as soon as I can get it.

Alright, Judy,
we'll tell him for ya.

And see another thing,

you know after we strike it rich,

you won't have
to worry about anything.

No siree.

Well, bye, Judy!

Goodbye, Judy!

Come on, Luther.

Bye, Judy!

Whatcha stopping here for?

We got four miles yet
to get to Eureka.

Yeah, but Blinky,

I'm hotter than
a fired off pistol, boy.

Say, a good cold drink

would go right now, wouldn't it?

Maybe it would.

But if we're gonna get to Eureka

before the bank closes,
we gotta keep going.

Yeah, but we could go
an awful lot faster

if we had a good
drink to cool off.

Maybe you're right.

Hey, let's flip a coin.

Go ahead, flip 'er.

Heads, we go for a drink.

- It's heads.
- It sure is!

Come on, we'll go for that drink.

# Oh, where have you been,
Billy Boy, Billy Boy? #

# Oh, where have
you been, Tom and Dilly? #

# I've been to seek a wife

# She's the joy of my life

# She's a young thing
and cannot leave her mother #

# Did she bid you come in,
Billy Boy, Billy Boy? #

# Did she bid you come in,
charming Billy? #

# Yes, she told me to come in

# There's a dimple in her chin

# She's a young thing
and cannot leave her mother #

# Can you make a cherry pie,
Billy Boy, Billy Boy? #

# Can she make
a cherry pie, charming Billy? #

# She can make a cherry pie

# Hooks the captain
with her eye #

# She's so young young
and cannot leave her mother. #

She's pretty good, ain't she?

Hey...

What'll it be?

Sarsaparilla.

- What's that again?
- Sarsaparilla.

And make it good and cold,
would you do that for us?

A sarsaparilla?

- Yeah.
- That's right.

Don't think you can
fool me you old buzzards,

I'll turn you inside out!

Just a minute,
he's not fooling ya.

That's a new drink,
sarsaparilla fizz.

Ain't you ever heard of it?

No, we ain't never heard of it.

Well, all good bartenders
in the city are serving it.

- Ain't they, Blinky?
- That's the word.

Don't tell me.

And what's it got in it?

Well, it's got
a little bit of this

and it's got just
a smidgen of that,

then some more of this.

It's a mighty fine drink.

Of course if you can't
go on make it for us,

why, we'll settle
for something else.

Sounds very interesting.

So I'm gonna let you mix it.

Well, that'll just be dandy.

Of course we could
settle for something else.

No, I wanna see this drink.

Come back here.

Ow, my finger.

Go on, mix it!

Just what I was gonna do.

I'm gonna fix one out of here now.

Some of this here.

See, put that right in there.

And then let's see.

Just a smidgen of this.

Just a smidgen.

That looks pretty to me.

There she is, have some of that.

Oh, there's that, right here.

This is the bottle,
ain't that pretty?

So coolin' too.

You see you don't put
very much of this in,

just a dribble, just a smidgen.

But then we...

But this, this is
the thing right here.

This is the thing
that really makes the drink.

I want you to watch this,

you see, now you might
wanna watch this.

Well...

Women and children first.

And there you are.

Drink it.

What, you think I'm crazy?

I've got a lot of
unfinished business.

Drink it!

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

This stuff has to age
for an hour or two.

While it's aging, we'll
take a couple of beers.

You don't get
a thing till you drink it.

You got any words to send home?

I ain't got no home.

You won't need any
after you drink this.

Ain't that good.

Before you drop dead,
I want $2.00.

$2.00, yeah.

And you better have the $2.00.

Hey, just a minute,

do you mean to insinuate

that we are impoverished?

Why, the idea.

Bartenders will be bartenders

and that's all they'll ever be.

$20.

Why, I'll have
to get change for this.

Who's there?

It's Lou.

It's alright.

There's a couple
of pigeons out here

and they're loaded.

Be right back.

Game time, place your bets.

Alright, what'd you say?

Pick a lucky number.

Get your money down, men.

Still time to place a bet.

Alright, all bets down.

And winner, number six, blank.

Clear out, boys!

I'm buying!

- Free drinks.
- Free drinks!

- Free drinks, bartender.
Free drinks for everybody!

Come on, boys, the bar's open!

What'll you have, boys?

I just took him
for 500 bucks right over there!

You mean you won $500?

That's right, never been
here before in my life.

They always let you win
the first time,

it's the club rule.

Give them whatever
they want, bartender!

What'd you do about that?

Free drinks, bartender.

Hey, sure would be nice
if you could double Judy's money

then she could pay
the bank the full 600.

Yeah, but so you suppose
they do let you win

the first time?

I've heard gambling
houses do sometimes.

Of course they make it up
when you come back to them.

Yeah, but you see,
we could fool 'em.

We wouldn't come back.

You see what I mean.

Pick yourselves
a luck number, boys,

we're gonna spin
the little ivory ball.

Alrighty, here's what I'll do,

I'll have $20 on number nine.

Number nine.

$20 on number nine
it is. And the spin.

You little rascal,

go ahead, drop in there.

- Oh, yeah!
- It did drop in there!

And the winner number 13, black.

I could've sworn
it was number nine.

Alright, boys, place your bets.

The more you bet, the less
you lose when you win,

what do you say?

I'd be diddly, dad burned,

if I didn't think
it was number nine.

Let's double up

and then we can maybe break even.

Here, right here.

- Here's $40 on number five.
- Number five.

$40 on number fivt.

Canova Trading Post,
Judy speaking.

This is Mr. Potter, Judy.

You promised to have
that money over here.

Mr. Potter, you should've
had it before now.

I sent Blinky
and Paydirt up with it.

Well, they didn't get here.

They didn't?

I bet I could guess
what happened to them.

Okay, Mr. Potter,
I'll take care of it

right away, bye.

And the winner, number 28, black.

Oh, look, it's empty.

Ain't it dark in there.

Alright, boys,
if you're broke, move on.

Well, not just a minute.

We ain't exactly broke,

we got collateral.

Come on, Blinky.

Well!

Alright, men, place your bets,

still time to get your money down.

Is that red or black, odd or even?

Place your bets, men.

Still time to get your money down.

- Well?
- I was asking Haskell

about some of that money
we got out of the bank.

- I need some of it.
- What about it?

Listen, that money's
as hot as water here.

It's gonna take
a little time to unload it,

but you can't do it
around here, you know.

What about this new sheriff?

He's getting in this afternoon,

I'm going over
to Eureka to meet him.

I can't understand you
hiring a stranger for that job.

- That wasn't my idea.
Judge Byrnes appointed him.

- Think he'll be okay?
- He'd better be okay.

Don't worry, don't worry.

I'll get Tullett in as deputy.

Is this all we got?

All but the burro.

Tell you what we'll do,
we shoot the works on 26.

26.

All bets down.

It's 26.

And the winner, double O.

Now just a minute.

What's going on
under this table here?

Excuse me, lady.

Just as I thought,
you're a bunch of crooks!

That's what you are!

Did you see what they done, lady?

So that's
what you do with my money!

You knew this place was crooked!

Now wait a minute.

You wait a minute, you big crook.

The money
these boys is playing with

is mine, and if you
don't give it back...

Alright, get out of
here, the three of ya!

Come on.

We ain't leaving here

till you give us our money back.

You're darn tootin', we're not.

You bet we ain't.

Just a minute, lady.

We don't want any trouble.

Let go of me, you big baboon!

Captain!

You can't do that!

Let me go, I want my money back!

Good luck.

And you knew I had to get
that money to the bank,

so what do you do?

You go to a gambling house,

a crooked gambling house.

Not only that, you knew
it was crooked, didn't ya?

Didn't ya?

Go ahead and say it, Judy.

Whatever it is,
it's too good for us.

We're just a couple
of low down rats.

We're smaller
than rats, we're mice.

Well, that crooked outfit
thinks I'm gonna hold still

while they take my money,
they're crazy.

What do you figured
on doing, Judy?

I ain't figuring I'm gonna do it.

Hello, Ellie May,

get me the sheriff's office.

Well, sheriff,
you just let me know

if there's anything you want

to fix this place up a little.

Thanks, Supervisor.

I think I'll make out alright.

I'll get straightened around

as soon as I get the rest
of my equipment unloaded.

If there's anything you need,
you just say the word.

I sure will.

Sheriff's office.

Hello, Sheriff?

This is Judy Canova,

I've got a complaint to make

about a crooked gambling house

over in Coffin Creek.

Coffin Creek, what about it?

Just this about it.

This McCready fella
that runs the place

cheated two fellas
out of $300 of my money

and I want you to get it back.

Well, not so fast.

What evidence have you got
that they were cheated?

- Evidence?
I saw 'em do it.

Oh, is that so?

Well, you're
the sheriff, ain't ya,

you're supposed to do
something about it.

Oh, I can't, huh?

Well, we'll see about that.

That's a lot of new fangled
equipment you got there.

Yes, I believe in modern methods.

Can't use old fashioned ideas
to catch modern criminals.

You know, Sheriff,
there are a few things

maybe I'd better explain to you.

There are several prominent
citizens in this county

that we may have
to do a little favor for

- from time to time.
- Yeah?

Yeah, you know,
a sort of give and take.

We do a little favor for them,
they do a favor for us.

Why, I'd be glad to do a favor
for anyone anytime.

If it's within the law.

And that's why I called
this special meeting

of the women's volunteers.

Something's gotta be done

about the crooks
who run this county

and it looks like
it's up to us to do it.

I tell ya, this county

ain't a fitting place for
decent folks to live no more.

With the bank
robbing and murdering

and such like going on.

And that place
over in Coffin Creek

cheating the folks out
of their hard earned money.

- Judy's right!
That gambling house

is a disgrace of the community.
It's taking the bread and butter

out of the mouths
of everyone of us here.

We all know our men folks go there

and lose their money.

I know that mine does!

Practically every cent
he gets his hands on

goes to those thieving varmints.

And your husband too,
Mrs. Fudge.

Just a moment, Mrs. Fling,

you take care of your husband,
I'll take care of mine.

And my husband's every bit
as good as yours.

Girls, girls, don't argue.

There's a meeting going on.

Very important.

Now, to make matters worse,

the political bosses
have got themselves

another crooked sheriff.

One that'll do anything
they tell him to do.

And I say we oughta
toss him out of office

before he gets
a chance to get started.

- Now just a minute, girls.
I make a motion

that we appoint Judy
as a committee of one

to call on that
crooked new sheriff

and demand
his resignation right now.

I second the motion.

Second the motion, all in favor?

- Aye!
- Motion carried.

Aye.

Now, Judy, it's all up to you.

Any decision you make, remember,
we're right behind you.

Thank you, girls.

And you can all rest assured

that that sheriff will hear
from the women's volunteers

first thing in the morning.

You girls like to buy anything?

Is that new sheriff around?

He's inside.

What's this?

Sheriff's car.

Sheriff's car?

You mean he's gonna ride
this instead of a horse?

I reckon so.

Too bad they'd didn't get
the old goat a wheelchair.

He'll need one after
I curl his hair.

If he's got any hair.

Where'd you say he was?

He's in there!

I wanna see the sheriff!

He's very busy right now.

I can hardly hear it.

Heh. Some sheriff.

Hard of hearing, too huh?

Hey, Sheriff,

I hate to interrupt
your bedtime st...

Well, how do ya do?

Do you wanna see me?

Sheriff, this is Judy Canova.

Very glad to know ya, ma'am.

What was on your mind?

I don't know, whatever it was,

it ain't there no more.

The sheriff's
a very busy man, Judy.

- I'm not too busy.
What is it, Miss Canova?

Well, I'll tell ya,

I'm right about
this gambling business.

He's as crooked
as a dog's hind leg.

It was my money and
he took it plum away from 'em.

And well, you just gotta
something about it.

Now, wait a minute.

What is it you're
trying to tell me?

She's trying to say
that she thinks the gambling

over at Coffin Creek's crooked,

but I'm afraid she's
a little excited.

Then they do
have gambling over there.

Well, occasionally the boys
have a friendly little game,

somebody loses a few nickels.

A few nickels nothing,

they took $300 of my money.

I'm very glad you told us.

We'll look into it, excuse me.

Well, you're wasting
your time, Sheriff.

I know that place,
there's nothing wrong there.

Nevertheless, I feel
that any citizen's complaint

should be investigated.

Say, maybe you should
come along with us.

With you?

Oh, boy.

Miss Canova,

I think this way will be
a little quicker.

You won't need your horse,
we'll go in my car.

Well then, I'll send Penny home.

Git. Go home, Pen!

Hey, come back here!

I ain't finished yet!

It ain't gonna be legal
without the sign.

- Hello. Operator?
Get me the Coffin Creek Cafe.

So you mean to tell me

when you go after
a crook, you use this thing

instead of a horse?

This thing will do
anything a horse will do.

It won't run on oats.

Hey, what's that contraption?

Two way radio.

Two way what now?

Radio.

No matter where I am,

I can speak into this
and get an answer back.

You mean like an echo, huh?

Well, no.

Good afternoon.

Welcome to Coffin Creek.

How do you do?

Nice weather we're having,

don't you think?

# Oh, where have you been

# Billy Boy, Billy Boy?

# Oh, where have you been,
charming Billy? #

# I have been to seek a wife

# She's the joy of my life

# She's a young thing

# And cannot leave her mother

# Can she make a cherry pie

# Billy Boy, Billy boy?

Welcome to the Coffin
Creek Social Club.

Would you mind?

What can I do for you folks?

We have some delicious
Sarsaparilla today.

I'd like to see
Mr. McCready, please.

Oh, yes, sir.

# She's a young thing

# And cannot leave her mother.

Alright, men, feed the kitty.

Judy, I can't see anything
wrong with this place.

It wasn't like this before.

There's something fishy here.

Hello, folks, my name's McCready,

what can I do for you?

Dan Fraser, the new sheriff.

Well, I'm glad
to know you, Sheriff.

- You know Miss Canova here.
- I've never had the pleasure.

You got that bad
of memory, have ya?

I was here yesterday.

That's funny,
I don't seem to recall.

Is this an official
visit, Sheriff,

or a social call?

It's an official visit.

Go ahead, Sheriff,
tell him why we're here.

I've had a complaint
about gambling here,

Mr. McCready,
crooked gambling.

- Gambling?
Well, that's ridiculous,

look around for yourself, Sheriff.

I tell ya, I was here yesterday.

Well, there must be some mistake.

I suppose you didn't
take two friends of mine,

Blinky and Paydirt
for 300 yesterday.

Now, I ask you,
does this look like a place

where gambling would be going on?

I've got to admit, it doesn't.

It was right here,
they had gambling tables.

Somebody must have tipped
him off we were coming.

Heavens to Betsy,
now who would top me off?

I ain't saying
but I got a pretty good idea.

I tell ya I was
standing right here.

- What's going on?
- It stinks.

Oh, Mr. Sheriff, look,
look, look! It's that bandit!

It's Curt Walker.

Take it easy, that's
just one of the cowboys.

Mind if I see for myself?

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Sheriff.

Oh, we killed the motor.

Darn near killed
the passengers too.

One nice thing about a horse,

his legs don't spin.

Looks like we're
gonna have to stay here

until somebody finds us.

It's alright with me, I reckon.

You move over here,
I'll get out and push.

Now, when I tell you okay,

you step on the gas, okay?

Okay.

Alright, okay.

Here we go.

It's no use.

There's some boards over there.

Maybe if you put them
under the wheels...

Yeah.

If those boards don't work,

there's a couple
gunny sacks, try them.

Okay.

What'd you say?

I said okay.

Well, alright.

Oh, did you fall down?

Miss Canova,

let's try it again, shall we?

Well, sure.

Okay.

You know, Sheriff,

if you'd have had
a deputy in your office,

we could've called him
on your car radio.

Well, I'm gonna get a deputy,

just as soon as
I find the right man.

Does it have to be a man?

I've never heard of
a woman deputy, did you?

Well, my old grandma
was a pretty good sheriff

and folks around here
say that I take after her.

Now, with you and me
working together...

I'm afraid I'd have
to think that one over, Judy.

You mean you might
make me your deputy?

Sure, you'd go out
and capture Curt Walker

and bring him in
and you get the job.

Hot diggily, I'll do it.

I wild see.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Hey, how about my badge?

Oh, you'll get that
after you capture Curt Walker.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Did I say good night?

# I'm in the dither

# A strange sort of dither

# I feel like I'm flying apart

# There is a feeling,
a new sort of feeling #

# That's buzzing
around in my heart #

# I've lost my hunger

# But I feel much younger

# I'm high as a robin above

# Due to this confusion

# There's just one conclusion

# I guess that
I'm falling in love #

# Never, never, never had
such a feeling before #

# Never, never, never guessed
what romance had in store #

# Never, never, never thought
I'd keep longing for more #

# Never, never, never
been in love before #

# I've got a notion

# This thrilling emotion

# Won't ever leave
you quite the same #

# You're in a dither

# Your arms say come hither

# And you know just
who is to blame #

# Never, never, never had
such a feeling before #

# Never, never, never guessed
what romance had in store #

# Never, never, never thought
I'd keep longing for more #

# Never, never, never
been in love before. #

- Hey, Judy.
- Judy.

Yeah?

Hey Judy, we just
heard Curt Walker

was seen in the neighborhood.

- He was?
- Yes, sir.

And you better lock up tight too,

in case he decides
to pay you a visit.

I'd like to see him try
to get in here.

Well, we just
thought we'd warn ya.

Don't worry, if that Curt Walker

tries to get in this door,

he'll have to crawl through
a rat hole, the rat.

Well, you be careful now, Judy.

Yeah, you do that, Judy.

- I will, don't worry, boys.
- Goodbye, Judy.

- Bye.
- Bye. Thanks anyway.

You're as welcome
as a flower in May.

I thought I closed that window.

Excuse me.

How did you get in here?

Through a rat hole.

Well, what can I do for you?

I'm having a sale
on poffy cots, coffee pots.

This is a nice three quart size,

solid enamel, solid steel.

- Nah.
- I'll tell you what,

I just got a new shipment
of corsets in.

I got one that'll
look fine on you.

You know they're awful good
for the figure.

You got a figure, ain't ya?

Sure, I figure. Even I got one.

- You wanna bet?
- No.

Give me
some .45 shells.

- Some .45 shells?
- Yeah.

I'm gonna go take a little peak.

Here's some .38s, would they do?

This gun uses .45s.

Oh, and you're all out, huh?

Yeah, I'm all out.

That's why I want some.

Guess if you're all out,
then you really need some.

You haven't got any?

Not even one?

Not even one.

That's all I wanna know.

Hey!

What're you doing?
Let go, let go!

Whoo-hoo!

Sounded like shooting.

It sure did.

It sounded like it come
from Judy's place, come on!

Come on, she could be killed
before we get back there.

Come on!

Luther!

Come on.

Come on.

One, two, three!

Now, put your little
patty cakes up there,

you ornery varmint, you.

This store is sure a mess.

But I reckon it was worth it.

It sure was, Judy.

And you did a mighty
good job, too.

Listen, tell
the sheriff I'll be down

first thing
in the morning to see him.

It's gonna take me all night
to get this place cleaned up.

Alright, I'll tell him, Judy.

Come on, get out of your fur.

Get on up there!

Go on now, come on,
get going, you.

Take good care of him, boys.

Don't you worry none, Judy.

He'll be as safe as
a baby in his ma's arms.

He sure will,
go on, you get out of here!

- Good night.
- Good night, Judy!

Get on now!

- Hello, Sheriff.
- Mr. Haskell.

I'd like you to meet Jim Tullett.

- Glad to know you, Jim.
- How do ya do?

You'll be needing a deputy,

so I'd bring Jim here
around to see ya.

I can't think of anybody

I'd recommend more
highly for the job.

Jim's reliable
and he knows his country

like the palm of his hand.

Sounds like he's
pretty well qualified.

You can take my word
for it that he is.

Now, if you're satisfied.

Well, I'll tell you what you do,

you come around tomorrow morning,

and we'll talk about it.

Hey, Sheriff,
they caught Curt Walker!

They're bringing him in now.

How'd you get him, fellas?

It wasn't easy.

There he was, standing up
behind the boulder,

a gun ablaze out of both hands.

Two more guns on his hips,

but we snuck up on him
and overpowered him.

Pretty tough guy.

- They got Curt Walker there.
- That's him, alright!

Oh, hi, Sheriff,
here's your man right here.

Good work, boys,
where'd you get him?

What happened?

Well, it took
quite a bit of doing.

Yes, sir, this wasn't easy.

Except for us of course.

There he was, standing up
behind that big boulder.

A gun in each hand
ablazing away at us.

And I snuck up on him.

Well, you did no such another.

I snuck up on him.

We both snuck up on him.

Me from the right
and Paydirt here from the left.

And there he was, bullets
whizzing around our head.

And spattering all around us.

But did we let that stop us?

Oh, no siree.

Well, however you did it,

it was a good night's work.

Yeah, yeah nice work, boys.

The town owes you
a debt of gratitude.

How did you say
that happened again?

- What'd you say?
- How'd it happen?

Well, Paydirt, tell them.

Well, there he was,
that ornery critter,

standing aback
to that big boulder.

A gun ablazing in his hand.

Two guns!

That's what I said,
two guns ablazing in his hands.

I says to myself, says "I,
Paydirt, yonder is the critter

that is a menace to humanity."

We both said it to ourselves.

"You are taking
your life in your own hands,"

I said to myself.

We both says to ourselves.

But there is a figure,
a critter that we have got

to fetch him alive.

- Listen, men!
We're raising a celebration

down at the old cafe,
what about it?

Let's show them
how we treat heroes, huh?

Come on.

There he was,
standing aback of that boulder.

Guns ablazing!

Neighbors and fellow townsfolk.

This is indeed a great day
for our fair community.

A day that will long be
remembered by all of us.

As mayor of Eureka,

I have been asked to officiate in,

to officiate in...

to officiate at this occasion

to honor two of our well known

and beloved citizens

whose valiant deed
you all well know.

- What's going on?
- Haven't you heard?

Blink and Paydirt caught
Walker last night.

They what?

...far beyond repayment
with meager words of praise.

Far beyond any service

we could hope to render
for our fair community.

And so with selfless
disregard to life or safety,

these two men have brought about

the apprehension
of a lawless creature.

One who has long prayed upon

the society of honest men.

And so, it is with gratitude
in our hearts

that we gather here...

We didn't mean to do
what we've done, honest.

That's right, Judy.

You see, the townsfolk
had the idea that we,

we captured Curt Walker.

What idea?

Well, we didn't wanna
tell them any different.

That's right, Judy.

What's going on here?

- Blinky.
- Tell him, Paydirt!

Well, there he was,

standing up behind that
big boulder, guns ablazing...

I mean...

Aw, shucks.

We didn't capture him,
Sheriff, Judy did.

- Judy!
- Yeah.

Yeah, Judy captured him...

And so it is with deep pride

on this great
and glorious occasion

that I introduce these two men.

Our honored guests.

Just a moment,
just a moment, gentlemen,

come back up here,
come back up here.

Your modesty is admirable,
but you're not getting away

with it that easily.

Come right here.

Well, Judy, all I can say
is it was a good job.

And I owe you a boat of thanks.

Reckon you owe me a badge too.

Badge?

Why Judy, I was only kidding,

you didn't think
that I meant that...

Well, gosh, Sheriff,
I only know what you told me.

You said that
if I caught that fella,

that you'd make me
a deputy sheriff

and I caught him fair and square.

But Judy, this isn't
any job for a girl.

Why, it's tough and dangerous.

Well, either you're a man
of your word or you ain't.

If you ain't, let's just
forget the whole thing.

Well, now, wait a minute, Judy,

I know I promised you,

but you think you could
handle the job?

I know I can.

Well, all right, it's yours.

Oh, thanks, Mr. Dan,

I'll make you the God derndest
deputy sheriff you ever had.

Just remember, you got
to handle this job

just the way a man
would handle it.

Yes, sir.

And so it is
a privilege and pleasure

on behalf of your
friends and neighbors

to present to you
this small token of our esteem.

Bring them in,
bring them in, that's it.

Here you are.

Ain't these the prettiest things

you ever set eyes on?

Hey, we better get out of here.

- Thanks.
- Thank you all.

Thank you very much.

I'm gonna call mine Luther.

What about Curt?

First, we got
to get you in as deputy.

Then we'll take care
of Curt. Come on.

I swear to uphold the constitution

of the United States,
the laws of this state,

to perform
to the best of my ability

the office of deputy sheriff.

What's going on here?

Just swearing in my new deputy.

What is this, some kind of a joke?

No, it ain't
no joke, see the badge?

Look here, young fella,

you're taking a lot on yourself.

I'm a supervisor here
and I expect cooperation.

Why, the citizens of this county

will get my cooperation,
Mr. Supervisor.

And the cooperation of anyone
attached to this office.

Now, I'm here to do a job,

and if I know the law,
the sheriff of this county

has the privilege of
selecting his own deputies.

Now, that's the law, isn't it?

- Now, wait a minute, Sheriff.
You promised last night...

I didn't promise any such...

No, offense, Dan, you're
absolutely right about the laws.

It's just that I thought Jim here

was the right man
for the job, that's all.

I'm sorry but, I have
a previous commitment.

Well, sure, Dan,

you're the kind of a man
we need around here.

Come on, Jim.
Good luck, Deputy.

Gosh, Mr. Dan,

you sure made him
eat crow, didn't ya?

I don't know about that,
but as long as I'm sheriff,

nobody's gonna tell me
how to run this office.

Oh, howdy, Miss Fling, Miss Fudge.

We're here to see the sheriff.

He ain't in right now,
but I'm his deputy.

Anything I can do for ya?

His deputy?

Yeah, just sworn in this morning.

Well, this has gone
further than I thought.

- I'll say it has.
It seems everybody in town

has been taken in with
those crooked politicians.

Why don't you old hags
give yourselves up?

Well!

Perhaps we better
put the situation

before Judge Byrnes.

I understand he's arriving today.

Yes, and the sheriff's

gone over to Cornwell
to pick him up.

And you'll hear from
our women's volunteers later.

Come Carrie.

Goodbye.

Yes, it looks like we finally

got the right man
in sheriff's office, Dan.

Capturing Curt Walker
certainly put your office

off to a fine start.

Well, thanks, Judge,
but actually it was my deputy

that did the capturing.

But your office accomplished it.

That deputy must be an alert,
courageous young fella.

Calling Sheriff Fraser,
calling Sheriff Fraser.

Who's that?

My deputy.

A girl?

Sheriff Fraser speaking.

Don't tell me something's
happened to our prisoner.

Ah, no, Sheriff, he's okay.

You don't have to worry about him.

- Then what is it?
- I was gonna surprise you

by fixing up your office but
can't decide about the curtains.

What color do you like,
beige or green?

Is that all you bothered me about?

Well, not quite all, you see,

the beige has red poppies in it

and the green has white magnolias.

Which do you like the best?

Such Tommy rot.

You mean to tell me

she's the one
who captured Curt Walker?

Must have been an accident.

I think it ought to be purple

with everlasting flowers on it.

Everlasting.

You should live so long.

There's a gun fight
down the street.

Three guys are trying
to kill each other.

Calling Sheriff Fraser,

calling Sheriff Fraser.

For heaven's sake,
Dan, please come in.

Stop!

Stop, in the name of the law.

The keys are in the desk.

Gee, Sheriff, terrible, ain't it?

- Yeah, who started it?
- I did.

- You did?
- You did?

Yeah, not on purpose, mind you.

You see, there was a gun fight
going on down the street

and I tried to get
you on the radio,

and I couldn't, well,
what was I gonna do?

Well, all I know is,

you should never have left
your prisoner.

Excuse me, Sheriff.

Three guys were trying
to kill each other

and in stopping the fight

I accidentally set fire
to the fireworks,

- that's all.
- That's all?

Not only an interior decorator,

you're a pyromaniac as well.

This is no time to bring
in politics, Your Honor.

He's gone!

- Of all the dumb...
- Dan, listen!

Come back here, you stupid idiot.

I might be stupid,
but I ain't no idiot.

You is no deputy sheriff, either.

Round up all the men you can,

Curt Walker's escaped
and we're going after him.

In view of what's happened here,

I'm afraid we're gonna
have to make some changes.

It's about time.

Will you get rid
of the new sheriff?

The sheriff has nothing
to do with this, Your Honor.

It was his responsibility.

It weren't not.

It was my fault.

Gee, I don't mind getting fired,

but haven't even
given Dan a chance.

- Oh, be quiet, Judy.
- Alright, he'll get a chance.

You take care of the office, Judy,

I'm going after Walker.

Wait a minute, Dan.

I'm sorry to have to say this,

but because of what's happened...

I'm fired, is that it?

Nothing personal,
do you understand?

Because there's a possible chance

that you and your posse
might get Curt Walker,

we're going to give you
the opportunity.

But if he's not back
in that cell in 24 hours,

we're going to demand your badge.

Very well, Judge.

Come on, Lottie,

at least we've started
at house cleaning.

# Have you ever been lonely?

# Have you ever been blue?

# Have you ever loved someone

# Just as I love you?

# Can't you see I'm sorry

# For each mistake I've made?

# Can't you see
I've changed, dear? #

# Can't you see I've paid?

# Be a little forgiving

# Take me back in your heart

# How can I go on living

# Now that we're apart?

# If you knew what
I've been through #

# You would know why I ask you

# Have you ever been lonely?

# Have you ever been blue?

I got a flat tire.

Anybody around here
that can fix it?

Nobody here but me,
and I'm closed up for the night.

That's just dandy.

I suppose
I'd be presuming too much

to expect to find
a telephone around here.

I don't know
how big a presume you got,

but there's a telephone inside

that I never had
no trouble in finding.

Thanks.

Just leave your nickel
on the blotter.

Hello?

Get me the Coffin Creek Cafe
at Coffin Creek.

Hello, Mr. McCready,

this is La Belle La Tour.

Is Curt Walker there?

No, he isn't here yet,
I expect him pretty soon.

Okay.

I had a little tire trouble
on the way over.

Tell him I'll see him there later.

Hey, I think
we can change that tire.

You just unlock the spare
and I'll go get some tools.

Okay.

Hello, get me
the sheriff's office.

I guess you boys better turn in.

- Why, Sheriff!
Any luck?

No luck, Haskell.

I think I know
where your man is, Sheriff.

I was riding through the hills
about 12 miles west of town.

You know, just the other side
of Big Bear Rock.

I saw a camp fire,
there were two men,

I got up as close as I dared,

looked to me like
Walker and his partner,

so I came back here for help.

Well, get the boys and round
up all the available men

and meet at Big Bear Rock,

and I'll join you as soon
as I get a fresh horse.

Be with you in a minute.

Hello?

Hello, Dan.

Yes, this is the sheriff.

This is Judy.

You got to get over
to Coffin Creek.

Curt Walker is...

Look Judy, you've caused me
enough trouble already.

Now, you better stick
to running that store

and let me handle this end.

Oh, but Dan, if you'll
only listen to me.

I tell ya, I know what
I'm talking about.

Sorry, Judy, I'm in a hurry.

Hello? Hello?

I couldn't find no tools
but I called the garage.

Man will be right over
to fix the tire.

Now, you tell me,
I've already got the spare off.

Oh, gee, that's too bad.

Well, he's coming right over.
You make yourself at home.

I got a few things to tend to,
I'll be right back.

Lucky thing for me,
you running into those two men

over at Big Bear Rock,
you sure they didn't see you?

I'm positive.

Dan, Dan,
you just gotta believe me!

Curt Walker's at Coffin Creek!

Wait a minute, how can Curt Walker

be at Coffin Creek
when he was seen tonight

about 20 miles from here
in the opposite direction.

But I tell ya, some
woman phoned from my store.

She's meeting Curt Walker
at the Coffin Creek Cafe.

What woman called in?

I don't know, she had a flat.

Gee, I never told
a lie in all my life,

honest engine.

I'll just take a fast run
over there in the car.

Attaboy, Sheriff.

You mean you're gonna waste time

to investigate a crazy...

I am not crazy.

Well, if he's not there,

I can still get back
in time to join the posse.

Well, I'll ride over with ya.

Me too.

No Judy, you better stay here

and hold down the fort.

Shucks.

Well, Sheriff,
now that we're alone,

I guess we can talk man to man.

Shoot.

I've had you spotted
for a pretty smart young fella.

The kind who'd like to go places.

Naturally I want to do my job

as best I can,
if that's what you mean.

What I'm talking about
is a lot bigger than your job.

- Yeah.
- I guess you've noticed

that I have considerable
influence around here.

I can be a big help
to you, if you'd,

well, if you play ball
the way I see it.

I don't think
I quite get what you mean.

I think you do.

Well, if you're leading up

to what I think
you're leading up to,

you're taking kind
of a long chance,

aren't ya, Haskell?

Propositioning
a man you hardly know.

I'm not taking any chance.

If anything I'm saying here
was to be repeated,

I wouldn't even know
what you're talking about.

Around here,
my word's better than yours.

I see what you mean.

What's your proposition?

Well, in the first place,
I have certain connections.

They may be
a little outside the law,

but they pay on pretty well,

if your department
looks the other way.

- I see.
And this gambling set up

over at Coffin Creek
is one of those connections?

Now you're getting smart.

Well, assuming that
we could work out a deal,

I would play ball with you,

just where would I come in?

That's something
we'll have to talk over

with McCready and Curt Walker.

- Is Curt Walker in there now?
- That's right.

Well, let's go in and talk them.

Dan, don't listen to him,
don't go in there!

Hold it.

You thought you'd pull a fast one

and leave that microphone open.

Alright.
Let's go in and meet the boys.

Dan? Hello, Dan?

Hello?

Help, help!

Hey, somebody, I need help!

Help!

Come in, come in.

Get your horse and ride
for Eureka as fast as you can.

Judy Canova's
in the sheriff's office.

Get her, don't let her talk
to anybody, just get her,

and get rid of the
sheriff's car out front.

He'll never make it, Haskell.

Judy will have time
to talk to someone.

Talk to who?

Everybody in town's
out on sheriff's posse.

Your posse.

Help, help!

Help, somebody! Help!

What's all the shouting for?

I'm trying to raise somebody.

Hey?

I'm trying to raise somebody.

There ain't an abled
bodied man left in town,

they all rolled out an hour ago.

Maybe there's
some able bodied women.

They seemed to be
pretty able that time

when the men folks had left,

they had to put out the fire

over at the church.

Fire?

Hey, thanks.

What'd you say?

- What's the matter?
What's the bell for?

Men are all out of town tonight!

It's a job for
the women's volunteers.

Be right down.

Where's
the fire, Judy? Where is it?

- You'll find out!
Come on, girls.

Hurry, everybody!

You ain't tell us
where the fire is.

You'll find out.

If you got us out of bed
on a false alarm!

Don't worry.

Say, we're headed
straight for Coffin Creek!

That's right,
the Coffin Creek Cafe.

She said it's the cafe!

- Then I say let it burn!
- But it ain't on fire.

If it ain't on fire,
why are we going there?

To save the sheriff,

to capture Curt
Walker and put an end

to that Coffin Creek Cafe!

Come on, Miss Fling,
let's clean that place out.

We all got axes ain't we?

What did she say, Miss Fling?

Shall we turn back?

She said plenty!

Keep going, Mrs. Fudge,
to the Coffin Creek Cafe!

Charge!

I sure hate to do
this to you, Sheriff.

We got a lot of axes
to grind with this place,

girls, so don't forget them.

Come on!

Alright, girls.
You're on your own!

# What can the matter be...

Ladies, just a minute, please!

Please, what's going on here?
Whoa!

Alright, girls, battle stations!

Charge!

# Dear, dear, dear, dear

# What can the matter be?

# What could the matter be?

# Dear, dear, dear, dear

# What can the matter be?

Are you ready?

Bombs away!

- Where's Dan?
Where have they got the sheriff?

- I don't know, Miss Canova.
Honest, I don't.

Oh, no?

Ah, so that's where he is.

Dan? Dan, you in there?

Judy, watch out, it's Curt Walker.

Shut up, Fraser.

Judy, I was ever so glad
to see you in my whole life.

If my hands weren't tied
I'd give you a big hug.

I'll have you untied in a jiffy.

You better go after him!

- Let go!
- Let go!

Cut it out, will ya?

Get your hands off!

Stop it!

Ow!

Let go of me, let go!

Ow. Oh, ouch!

Let me out of here,
get away from me!

Let me out of here!

- Hello?
He ain't in.

Ow! Ooh! Oh!

Cut it out, will ya?

Hi, Sheriff.

Wanna play?

Come on.

Neighbors and fellow townsfolk.

Well, it looks like the election
was pretty near unanimous.

And as your friend
and still mayor...

I would like to announce
the new county supervisor.

You're all familiar with
his accomplishments as sheriff.

So he needs
no further introduction.

My old friend,

Dan Fraser.

Thanks, neighbors.

What was accomplished
by the sheriff's department

was due mainly to the efforts
of the deputy sheriff.

And I'm proud
to present her to you now.

As the new sheriff of Kirk County,

Judy Canova.

That's our Judy, that's our Judy!

Hey, Judy, speech.
Give 'em a speech, go ahead.

Gosh, I ain't never
made no speech before,

but I do want to thank you
for this here badge

and tell you that
I'm gonna do the best I can

for you folks what
give it to me and...

# I'm so excited,
so doggone excited #

# I don't know
just what to say #

# 'Cept to tell ya how
perfectly swell you #

# Have all made me
feel here today #

Come on, folks, everybody join in!

# Never, never, never had
such a feeling before #

# Never, never, never guessed
what romance had in store #

# Never, never, never thought
I'd be longing for more #

# Never, never, never
been in love before #