Oh, God! Book II (1980) - full transcript

WHAT A MESS.

EVERY TIME I LOOK
DOWN THERE, IT GETS WORSE.

MAYBE I OUGHT TO STOP
LOOKING DOWN.

MILLIONS OF PLANETS,

AND THAT ONE HAS
ALWAYS BEEN A PROBLEM.

WHY THAT ONE?
I KNOW WHY.

PEOPLE. I HAD TO PUT
PEOPLE ON IT.

MAYBE I OUGHT TO GO
DOWN THERE AND LOOK AROUND.

I GOT TO DO SOMETHING.

LET'S SEE, UM...

[THUNDER]



PLEASE, NOT NOW.
I'M THINKING.

TRACY. DON'T FORGET
TO WEAR YOUR HAT.

BYE, MOM.

TRACY.

MOM, WHO WEARS HATS?

YOUNG LADIES DO.

AND BESIDES, HATS
ARE COMING BACK.

OH, MOTHER.

WHO KNOWS WHERE
HE'LL TAKE YOU?

HE'S MY FATHER,
AND YOU KNOW WHERE
HE'S TAKING ME--

TO A MOVIE AND
A CHINESE RESTAURANT.

HE ALWAYS DOES.

WELL...
YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.

IN FACT,
YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.



HAVE A GOOD TIME.

HI, SHINGO.

THINK FAST.

WANT TO PLAY?

I CAN'T. I'M GOING
WITH MY FATHER.

I LIKE TO GO
TO THE MOVIES

AND EAT
CHINESE FOOD.

I WISH MY PARENTS
WOULD SPLIT...

BUT JAPANESE PARENTS
WOULD NEVER SPLIT.

WHY NOT?

THEY JUST DON'T.

PRETTY GOOD
FOR A GIRL.

WANT TO TRY AGAIN?

DON'T PRESS YOUR LUCK.

[HORN HONKS]

HEY, HOW'S MY BABY?

OK.

GOOD.

GEE, YOU LOOK NICE.

THANK YOU.

CAN YOU
GET THE DOOR?

OK.

SO, UH,
HOW'S SCHOOL?

FINE.

FINE.

LISTEN, YOU CAN GO ALL
OUT TODAY, YOU KNOW?

DOUBLE EGG ROLLS,
EXTRA FORTUNE COOKIE,
WHATEVER YOU WANT.

I GOT A NEW
SPAGHETTI ACCOUNT.

WANT TO HEAR THE SLOGAN
I CAME UP WITH?

YOU READY?

"THE TASTE OF MAMA."

THAT'S IT?

COME ON,
THAT'S ONLY THE SLOGAN.

NOW IMAGINE IT--

THERE'S A BIG POT

OF REALLY RICH
TOMATO SAUCE BUBBLING.

SUDDENLY, OUT OF IT

COME TWO REALLY
DELICIOUS-LOOKING
STRANDS OF SPAGHETTI,

RIGHT? THEN--

♪ PAH TAH T-T-TAH TAH ♪

♪ P-T-TAH TAH ♪♪

THEY BREAK
INTO THIS WILD DANCE
TO A DISCO BEAT.

DANCING SPAGHETTI?

WELL, MR. TENESTO
LIKES IT.

THEN I LIKE IT, TOO.

YOU'RE NOT ASKING
WHAT I BROUGHT YOU?

THANKS.

THAT'S IT? THANKS?
YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO OPEN IT?

YOU OPEN IT,
AND A BIG SNAKE
JUMPS OUT, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

OH, DADDY.
YOU AND YOUR TRICKS.

YOU'RE ALWAYS TRYING
TO PULL SOMETHING ON ME.

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ♪

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY
TO YOU... ♪♪

SO WHAT DO YOU
WANT TO SEE?

ATTACK FROM
THE HIDDEN PLANET.

OH, NO, TRACY. NOT
ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE
TERRIFIC.

YOU SAID THAT ABOUT
THE ONE LAST WEEK.
SOME THRILLER.

IN ONE SECOND,
A PLANT TURNS
INTO A PERSON?

COME ON, TRACY.

BUT THEY EXPLAINED IT.

IT WAS BECAUSE THEY CAME
FROM ANOTHER PLANET.

I MEAN,
THEIR SPIRITS DID.

I DIDN'T SEE ANY SPIRITS.
WHAT SPIRITS?

DADDY, YOU CAN'T
SEE SPIRITS.

TRACY, JUST ONCE
CAN'T WE GO SEE
A NORMAL MOVIE

WITH LAURENCE OLIVIER
OR...

WALTER MATTHAU?

BENJI. I'LL EVEN
GO SEE A MOVIE
ABOUT A CUTE DOG. HUH?

JUST BECAUSE
YOU CAN'T SEE SPIRITS

DOESN'T MEAN
THEY'RE NOT THERE.

IT'S KIND OF LIKE
BELIEVING IN GOD.

SOMETIMES YOU
JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE
IN THINGS YOU CAN'T SEE.

OK.

I GOT TO CALL JOAN.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

YOU STILL GOING
WITH HER?

YEAH.

SHE ISN'T AS PRETTY
AS MOM.

WELL, SHE HAS
OTHER QUALITIES
I FIND ATTRACTIVE.

HER BIG BOOBS?

GIVE ME A BREAK,
WILL YOU?

MOM SAYS
SHE HAS BIG BOOBS.

I WONDER WHAT KIND
OF BOOBS I'LL HAVE?

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

I'LL HAVE
THE BUTTERFLY SHRIMP.

THAT'S GOOD.

THAT'S A PARTY
OF THREE AT 7:00.

OK, MR. JONES.

COME IN, TRACY.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.
COME IN.

TRACY, I'D LIKE
TO TALK TO YOU.

WHERE ARE YOU?

I CAN'T SEE YOU.

BUT YOU CAN HEAR ME,
TRACY.

DAD?

I'VE BEEN CALLED
"OUR FATHER,"
BUT NEVER DAD.

AW, COME ON, DAD.

ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR
TRICK VOICES?

YOU CAN'T FOOL ME.

WHERE ARE YOU?

TRACY, I'M GOD.

YOURS TRULY FROM
THE FORTUNE COOKIE.

OK, SO YOU'RE GOD.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

TRACY,
I REALLY AM GOD.

I'D LIKE TO KNOW YOU
A LITTLE BETTER.

THAT WOULD BE NICE,

BUT FIRST MAKE UP
WITH MOM.

WHY DON'T WE MEET
IN FRONT OF THE STORE
MONDAY?

OH, YEAH. THAT
WOULD BE GREAT.

TRACY, IF
I'M YOUR FATHER,

WOULDN'T THOSE GIRLS
HEAR ME TALKING?

DID YOU JUST HEAR
THAT MAN'S VOICE?

WHAT VOICE,
HONEY?

WHERE?

TRACY, THEY
CAN'T HEAR ME.

THERE.
DID YOU HEAR IT?

NO.

BUT--BUT
IF YOU WERE GOD,

WHY WOULD YOU
BOTHER WITH ME?

TRACY, IT WAS
SOMETHING YOU SAID

THAT SORT OF
INTERESTED ME--

THAT SOMETIMES YOU
JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE

IN THINGS YOU CAN'T SEE.

WOW! HOW'D YOU KNOW
I SAID THAT?

I KNOW, I SEE, I HEAR.

THIS PLACE IS TOO BUSY.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

WAIT!
DON'T GO YET.

WHERE LATER? HOW?

TRACY.

HUH?

OH, HI, MRS. MANLEY.

WHO WERE YOU
TALKING TO?

I DON'T KNOW.

I'M NOT SURE.

ARE YOU STILL THERE?

HE'S GONE.

YOU OK?

YEAH.

YOU'VE BEEN
AWFUL QUIET

SINCE WE LEFT
THE RESTAURANT.

I'M FINE. I'VE JUST
BEEN THINKING.

THINKING?
ABOUT WHAT?

HAVE YOU EVER FELT LIKE
YOU MIGHT BE DREAMING

EVEN THOUGH YOU KNEW
YOU WERE AWAKE?

WOULD YOU LIKE
TO RUN THAT BY ME AGAIN?

LIKE SOMETHING HAPPENED,

BUT IT'S MORE LIKE
A DREAM THAN REAL.

DAYDREAMING.
YEAH, SURE.

HAPPENS
TO EVERYBODY.

IT'S OK.

I GOT TO STOP
BY THE OFFICE
FOR SOMETHING.

WAIT FOR ME
IN THE CAR?

OK.

ALL RIGHT?

TRACY, IT'S ME AGAIN.

WHAT? WHAT?

THAT WASN'T
A DREAM YOU HAD.
IT WAS REAL.

WHERE ARE YOU?

IN THE BACK SEAT.

WELL?

DISAPPOINTED?

OH, GOSH, NO...
GOD, SIR.

WHY--WHY WOULD I BE
DISAPPOINTED, SIR?

ARE YOU REALLY GOD, SIR?

FORGET THE SIR.
JUST PLAIN GOD.

THE OWNER
OF THE STORE.

ALSO KNOWN AS
THE MAN UPSTAIRS.

I DON'T KNOW.
SOMEHOW I THOUGHT
YOU'D LOOK HOLIER...

AND MORE FANCY,
SORT OF.

I MEAN,
LIKE WITH A CROWN
AND A LONG BEARD

AND A FLOWING
WHITE ROBE.

YOU'RE THINKING OF
CHARLTON HESTON.

I CAN'T GET OVER IT.

IT'S JUST THAT--

THAT I GUESS
I EXPECTED YOU
TO LOOK MUCH OLDER.

THANKS, TRACY.
I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

HOW OLD ARE YOU?

WHO KNOWS?

AFTER THE FIRST
2 MILLION YEARS,
I STOPPED COUNTING.

IT'S AWKWARD
TALKING LIKE THIS.

WOW! HOW'D
YOU DO THAT?

IF I COULD PART
THE RED SEA,

I CAN CERTAINLY
MOVE TO THE FRONT
OF A CAR.

IT'S REFRESHING
TALKING TO A YOUNG
LADY LIKE YOU.

TAKES MY MIND OFF
SOME OF MY PROBLEMS.

YOU HAVE PROBLEMS?

YEAH. I'M NOT ALWAYS
ON CLOUD NINE.

THEY'RE STILL NOT
GETTING MY MESSAGE.

I'M JUST NOT IN
PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS.

THEY DON'T
BELIEVE IN ME
LIKE THEY SHOULD.

I DO, AND I'M NOT
SAYING THAT JUST
BECAUSE YOU'RE HERE.

I KNOW, BUT
THERE ARE PEOPLE

WHO THINK OF ME
ONLY A COUPLE
OF TIMES A YEAR.

THEN OTHERS DON'T
THINK OF ME AT ALL

UNTIL THAT
VERY LAST MINUTE--

AND THEN, BOY, DO I
HEAR FROM THEM.

PEOPLE HAVE TO BE
REMINDED THAT
I'M STILL AROUND.

THEN COME UP WITH ONE
OF YOUR BIG MIRACLES.

THAT WOULD REALLY
SHAKE THEM UP.

AH. PEOPLE
REMEMBER THE MIRACLE

AND FORGET
WHY I DID IT.

I'VE GOT IT.
MY DAD'S IN THAT BUSINESS.

YOU SHOULD ADVERTISE.

TELEVISION, RADIO,

BILLBOARDS, NEWSPAPERS.

GET A SLOGAN.

A SLOGAN?

TRACY, I'M NOT A TUBE
OF TOOTHPASTE.

SLOGANS REALLY WORK.

YOU'LL BECOME
A HOUSEHOLD WORD.

HOUSEHOLD WORD.

YEAH. THAT WOULD BE
NICE FOR A CHANGE.

ALL RIGHT, TRACY.
YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF
A JOB.

YOU THINK
OF A SLOGAN,

AND I'LL SPREAD IT
AROUND.

I'LL ASK MY DAD.
HE'S GREAT.

NO. I HAVEN'T
BEEN DOING TOO WELL
WITH GROWNUPS LATELY.

I'D RATHER
IT CAME FROM YOU.

ME? I'M THE WORLD'S
WORST WRITER,

AND MY SPELLING
IS THE PITS.

I DON'T TAKE OFF
FOR SPELLING.

SEE, IF IT COMES
FROM YOU,

IT'LL BE SOMETHING
THAT YOUR FRIENDS
CAN UNDERSTAND.

THAT WAY, I'LL HAVE
THE CHILDREN
ON MY SIDE.

AND WHEN THEY
GROW UP, I'LL HAVE
THEIR CHILDREN.

ONCE YOU'VE GOT
THE CHILDREN,

THAT'S
THE BALL GAME.

THEN I'LL BE ABLE
TO TAKE CARE
OF A FEW THINGS--

LIKE ALL THAT
POLLUTION.

AND HAVE YOU NOTICED
YOU'RE RUNNING OUT
OF EAGLES?

AND THERE ARE
A FEW VOLCANOES THAT
NEED COOLING OFF.

WHAT DO YOU SAY,
TRACY?

WILL YOU COME UP
WITH A SLOGAN?

OK. I'LL SURE TRY.

GOOD.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME.

NOBODY ELSE WILL,
EITHER.

YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
WHO CAN SEE
OR HEAR ME.

TELL THEM ABOUT
OUR VISITS, THEY'LL
THINK YOU'RE, UM...

BONKERS?

DEFINITELY.

THEY GAVE SOME
OF MY BEST PEOPLE
A PRETTY BAD TIME.

HERE COMES
YOUR FATHER.

HERE YOU GO.

SORRY I TOOK SO LONG.

OK. READY
FOR YOUR MOVIE?

YEP.

THREE LASER FIGHTS,
A COLLISION OF PLANETS?

YOU DON'T EVEN WATCH.

HALFWAY
THROUGH THE MOVIE,
YOU WANT TO GO HOME.

YOU OK?

SORRY, DADDY.

YOU DON'T
HAVE TO BE SORRY.

DADDY?

HMM?

LET'S SAY YOU HAVE
A BIG NEW CLIENT

AND YOU NEED
A REAL SUPER SLOGAN.

WHERE DO YOU START?

WELL, UH...

FIRST YOU EXAMINE
THE PRODUCT.

YOU TRY TO PICK OUT

THE SINGLE MOST
IMPORTANT THING
ABOUT IT--

THE THING THAT'LL
MAKE IT SELL--

LIKE, UM...WELL,
TAKE POTATO CHIPS,
FOR EXAMPLE.

NO. SOMETHING BIGGER.
MORE IMPORTANT.

IT DOESN'T
REALLY MATTER.

A PRODUCT'S
A PRODUCT.

THE PRINCIPLE
IS THE SAME.

WELL, LET'S SAY YOU'RE
SELLING A PERSON...

OK.

A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON,

LIKE, UH...

WELL, LET'S SAY...

GOD.

GOD.

I DON'T THINK I'D
HANDLE THAT ACCOUNT.

ONE MISTAKE AND
YOU'RE IN TROUBLE
THERE.

DON'T TRY AND GET
OUT OF IT, DADDY.

HOW WOULD YOU
SELL GOD?

OK. GOD.

GOD. WELL...

FIRST I'D, UH,
MAKE A LIST OF
HIS GOOD QUALITIES--

YOU KNOW, HIS MOST
SALABLE FEATURES--

THEN I'D COME UP
WITH A NICE
LOW-KEY SLOGAN.

THEN I'D MEET HIM
FOR LUNCH AND
PITCH IT TO HIM.

AND THEN?

IF HE LIKES IT,
I'LL PICK UP THE TAB.

IF NOT, I'LL LET HIM
PICK IT UP.

WHAT'S ALL THIS STUFF
ABOUT GOD?

SOME SCHOOL PROJECT,
OR--

SORT OF.
IT'S AN ASSIGNMENT
I JUST GOT.

OH, I SEE.

BEFORE I DROP
YOU OFF,

I WANT TO PICK UP
JOAN.

THAT OK?

OK.

THERE SHE IS.

[HONK HONK]

YEP, THERE THEY ARE.

WOULD YOU STOP
TALKING ABOUT HER--

BIG BOOBS?

OH, COME ON.

YOU LIKE KNOCKERS
BETTER?

COULD WE
JUST DROP THEM--
UH, DROP IT?

HI. HOW ARE YOU?

MMM. YOU TELL ME.

MMM.

HI, STACY.

TRACY.

OH, UH, OF COURSE.

UH, OH, WHAT'S THAT?

IT'S A PRESENT
MY DAD GOT ME.

OPEN IT.

UM...I--

AAH!

CUTE. THANK YOU.

HI, MOM.

HI. HOW WAS THE MOVIE?

DUMB.

AW.

HOW WAS
THE EGG ROLL?

GOOD.

AND HIS GIRLFRIEND?

BIG.

HMM.

CALLED ME STACY AGAIN.

OH. WELL, YOUR FATHER'S
NOT EXACTLY INTERESTED
IN HER BRAIN.

MOM?

HUH?

SOMETHING'S
ON MY MIND--

HOW CAN HE THINK
SHE'S ONLY 28?

THAT MAN
IS SO GULLIBLE.

MOM, I'D LIKE
TO ASK YOU A QUES--

DID HE MENTION WHERE
HE WAS TAKING HER?

WHAT WAS SHE WEARING?

MOM, SHE'S YUCKY.
SHE'S WAY OVER 28,

AND YOU'RE
10 TIMES PRETTIER.

OH...YOU...
ARE A BRILLIANT CHILD.

MOM?

WE KNOW THAT GOD HAS
A LOT OF WONDERFUL
QUALITIES,

BUT WHAT WOULD YOU SAY
ARE SOME OF HIS
STRONGEST POINTS?

TRACY, WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

GOD.

[HORN HONKS]

WE'LL TALK LATER.
THAT'S THE GELMANS.

I'M SHOWING THEM
A HOUSE,

AND THEY'RE TAKING
ME OUT TO DINNER.

GO TO BED WHEN ROSA SAYS.
NO TROUBLE, OK?

CAN I STAY UP
A LITTLE LATE?
NO SCHOOL TOMORROW.

ALL RIGHT.

DON'T WATCH
ANY HORROR FILMS, OK?

AAH!

HIDE!
HE'LL SEE YOU!

OH!

ELSA!

ROSA, YOU'RE MISSING
THE BEST PART.

I LIKE IT BETTER
THIS WAY.

ROSA...DO YOU
BELIEVE IN GOD?

OF COURSE I DO.

EVER SEE HIM?

NO, BUT I TALK
TO HIM.

YOU TALK TO GOD?

ALL THE TIME.

DID YOU TALK
TO HIM TODAY?

YOU DID?

THIS MORNING
WHEN I PRAY.

AND DID GOD
TALK TO YOU?

NO, HE NEVER
TALKS TO ME.

MAYBE HE DOESN'T
UNDERSTAND SPANISH
SO GOOD.

ROSA...

YES?

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY

IF I TOLD YOU...

THAT I SAW GOD TODAY

AND WE TALKED
TO EACH OTHER?

YOU BETTER GO TO BED.

YOU'RE GETTING LOCA
FROM THESE CRAZY MOVIES.

YOU SAW GOD
IN YOUR DAD'S CAR?

THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU TALKED TO HIM
IN A RESTAURANT?

RIGHT.

DID YOU GET
HIS AUTOGRAPH?

YOU'RE PUTTING ME ON.

NO, YOU'RE
PUTTING ME ON.

SHINGO,
I REALLY SAW GOD.

OK, OK.
WHAT DID GOD SAY?

HE SAID IF HE
COULD GET KIDS

TO SPREAD HIS MESSAGE,

THEN HE COULD
DO OTHER THINGS,

LIKE COOL OFF A VOLCANO
AND STUFF.

YOU TWO HAD SOME
RAP SESSION.

HE WANTED ME TO COME UP
WITH A SLOGAN.

SLOGAN?

LIKE THEY HAVE
IN TV COMMERCIALS.

OH. WHAT ELSE
DID HE SAY?

HE SAID SPELLING
DIDN'T COUNT.

I DON'T BELIEVE A WORD
OF WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

SPELLING ALWAYS COUNTS.

WHY DO I WASTE TIME
TALKING TO YOU?

MAYBE SHE DID SEE GOD.

HAROLD.

CAN YOU
GIVE ME A SET

CONTAINING
FIVE PRIME NUMBERS?

2, 3, 5, 7, AND 11.

THAT'S VERY GOOD,
HAROLD.

MISS HUDSON.

MISS HUDSON.

LISA.

WHEW.

CAN YOU TELL ME

THE PROPERTIES
OF A SET?

IT'S A SERIES
OF WHOLE NUMBERS.

THAT'S RIGHT.
THANK YOU.

MISS HUDSON.

MISS HUDSON.

MISS HUDSON.

I KNOW. MISS--

TRACY.

AWW.

CAN YOU TELL ME

THE PROPERTIES
OF A SUBSET?

I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU
AFTER CLASS IS OVER.

YOU'VE BEEN VERY
INATTENTIVE IN CLASS,

AND YOU HAVEN'T
TURNED IN YOUR
HOMEWORK ALL WEEK.

I'M SORRY,
MISS HUDSON.

IS THERE ANYTHING
THE MATTER AT HOME,

SOMETHING I SHOULD KNOW?

YOU SURE?

WELL, WHAT HAVE
YOU BEEN DOING
WITH YOUR TIME?

I JUST CAN'T
EXPLAIN IT.

I'M SENDING A NOTE HOME
TO YOUR PARENTS.

MAYBE YOU CAN
EXPLAIN IT TO THEM.

GIRLS, I BOUGHT A LOT
OF UNDERWEAR FOR MY MEN,

AND EVERY YEAR I PICK
FRUIT OF THE LOOM.

SURPRISE, EMMA!

HIYA, CUTIES.

EVERY MAN OUGHT TO BUY
FRUIT OF THE LOOM BRIEFS.

SO I CARRY
THE AMERICAN
EXPRESS CARD.

I ORDERED STEAK.

I DON'T WANT A MOVIE.

BUT I WANTED STEAK.

I DON'T THINK HE
WANTS THE MOVIE.

AT PSA WE NEVER
LOST SIGHT OF WHAT
AN AIRLINE SHOULD BE.

SO, AT PSA, WE GIVE
YOU MORE PLANES
AND LESS FANCIES.

WE GIVE YOU LOW FARES,
NOT FANFARES.

YOU STILL WATCHING
TELEVISION?

YEAH.
IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT.

YOU SHOULD
BE IN BED.

IT'S ALMOST 11:30.

I WANT TO SEE
THE JOHNNY CARSON SHOW.

ALL RIGHT. WOULD YOU
LIKE SOME COCOA?

YEAH, GREAT.

BUT AFTER COCOA,
YOU GO TO BED, EH?

[THE TONIGHT SHOW
THEME PLAYS]

FROM HOLLYWOOD...

THE TONIGHT SHOW,
STARRING JOHNNY CARSON.

THIS IS ED McMAHON
ALONG WITH TOMMY NEWSOME

INVITING YOU TO JOIN
JOHNNY AND HIS GUESTS--

BOB HOPE,
ANGIE DICKINSON,

MELISSA MANCHESTER,

AND OLYMPICS EXPERT
BUD GREENSPAN.

AND NOW,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

HERE'S...

JOHNNY!

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]

GOD? ON THE JOHNNY
CARSON SHOW?

WHY NOT?

HE GETS EVERYBODY ELSE
TO REPLACE HIM.

I CAN'T
BELIEVE IT.

DON'T WORRY, TRACY.

ONLY YOU CAN SEE ME.

EVERYBODY ELSE
IS WATCHING JOHNNY CARSON.

WOW. YOU REALLY
GET AROUND.

WHEN YOU GOT
A TERRITORY
AS BIG AS MINE,

YOU CAN'T DOG IT.

WELL, HAVE YOU
GOT A SLOGAN FOR ME?

YEAH, I GOT A FEW.

GOOD. LET'S HEAR THEM.

OK, HERE WE GO.

"HOW DO YOU SPELL
RELIEF? G-O-D."

THAT'S NICE.

IT'S--IT'S REAL NICE,

BUT I DON'T THINK
IT'S FOR ME.

HOW ABOUT THIS--

"GOD IS BULLISH
ON HUMANITY."

THAT'S NICE, TOO.

YOU GOT ANY MORE?

OH, SURE. THIS ONE'S
MY FAVORITE.

"YOU'RE IN GOOD
HANDS WITH GOD."

THAT'S GOOD,
BUT THEN AGAIN, TRACY,

THAT'S ALWAYS BEEN GOOD.

I THOUGHT YOU'D GO
FOR THAT ONE.

HOW ABOUT,
"LET GOD PUT YOU--"

IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT?

YEAH.

LOOK, I WORKED HARD
ON THESE.

I'M SURE YOU DID,

BUT, TRACY,
I DON'T WANT YOU
TO THINK I'M BRAGGING,

BUT LET'S FACE IT,
I'M AN ORIGINAL,

THE ONE AND ONLY.

I MADE MY OWN MOLD
AND THREW IT AWAY.

YOU KNOW, THIS ISN'T
EXACTLY EASY.

I DIDN'T SAY IT WOULD BE.
ONE MORE WEEK.

JUST A WEEK?

THAT'S LONG ENOUGH.

LOOK WHAT I
ACCOMPLISHED IN A WEEK,
AND WITHOUT COMPUTERS.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE
A MATH TEST COMING UP.

ONE WEEK.

I SAY IF YOU DON'T
SET DEADLINES,
NOTHING HAPPENS.

CAN I ASK MY DAD
FOR HELP?

IN MATH, SURE.

WHAT ABOUT SHINGO?
CAN HE HELP ME?

YOUR LITTLE FRIEND?

YEAH, SHINGO CAN HELP.

WE'LL DO
THE BEST WE CAN.

WE'LL REALLY TRY.

I DON'T SEE WHY
YOU HAVE TO
HAVE IT SO FAST.

TRACY?

WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?

NOTHING. UM, NOBODY.

YOU WERE JUST
TALKING TO SOMEONE.

THAT? OH, I WAS TALKING
BACK TO THE TELEVISION.

THE SET ISN'T EVEN ON.

I TURNED IT OFF.

IT WAS SOME DUMB
COMMERCIAL.

THEY'RE ALWAYS
TRYING TO SELL
YOU SOMETHING.

HOW ABOUT, "YOU CAN
BE SURE IF IT'S GOD"?

NO, IT HAS
TO BE ORIGINAL.

WE'VE BEEN AT IT
FOR HOURS.

LET'S GO HOME.
I'M STARVED.

WAIT! I THINK I'M
ON TO SOMETHING.

I LIKE IT. LET'S GO.

I DIDN'T SAY IT YET.

HOW ABOUT,
"BUY GOD. B-U-Y"?

GREAT. LET'S GO.

NAH,
IT'S TOO COMMERCIAL.

HE WOULDN'T LIKE THAT.

YOU KNOW HIM
BETTER THAN I DO.

HOW ABOUT, "TRY GOD"?

GREAT.

"GOOD GOD."

THAT'S EVEN GREATER.

"GREAT GOD."

PERFECT!

NO, IT JUST MISSES.

HOW COME EVERYTHING
JUST MISSES?

I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S JUST A GUT FEELING.

THAT'S AN ADVERTISING
EXPRESSION.

I'VE GOT
A GUT FEELING, TOO.

I'M HUNGRY.

WE'LL THINK GOD
TOMORROW.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I SAID WE'LL
THINK GOD TOMORROW.

THAT'S IT!

WHAT'S IT?

THINK GOD! THINK GOD!

THAT'S A TERRIFIC SLOGAN!

OH, SHINGO,
YOU SAVED THE DAY.

"THINK GOD."
HE'LL LOVE IT.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

WHO IS SHE TALKING TO?

THERE'S GOT TO BE
SOMETHING WRONG
WITH THAT KID.

IT'S THE SECOND
TIME I'VE SEEN
HER DO THAT.

HARRIET, LOOK AT THE WAY
SHE'S CARRYING ON.

POOR TRACY.

POOR PAULA.

I WOULDN'T WANT
TO BE HER MOTHER.

THINK GOD. HMM. YEAH.

THINK GOD.

VERY INTERESTING.

IT'S GOT A MESSAGE,
IT'S SHORT,

AND TELLS IT ALL.

TRACY, I REALLY LIKE IT.

THANK GOD.

THAT'S GOOD, TOO,
BUT LET'S GO
WITH "THINK GOD."

SHINGO CAME UP
WITH THAT ONE.

I HAD A HUNCH HE WOULD.

HOW ARE YOU
GOING TO SPREAD
THE SLOGAN AROUND?

YOU'VE DONE SUCH
A GOOD JOB,

I'M GOING
TO HAVE YOU DO IT.

ME? I WOULDN'T KNOW
WHERE TO START.

WHY NOT START
WITH YOUR FRIENDS?

BUT A WHOLE BIG
ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN?

HOW WOULD I DO THAT?

YOU'LL FIND A WAY.

THIS ISN'T FAIR.

WHY DON'T YOU
PICK ON SOMEBODY

WHO ISN'T BEHIND
IN HER HOMEWORK?

I'VE PICKED ON
SOME GOOD PEOPLE.

YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY
TO BE IN THEIR COMPANY.

WELL, OK.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE
NOT EXACTLY EASY
TO TURN DOWN.

SO THAT'S WHAT
WE'VE GOT TO DO--

WRITE "THINK GOD"
ALL OVER THE PLACE.

ON WALLS, ON SIDEWALKS,

WE'VE GOT TO STICK SIGNS
ON TREES,

CAR BUMPERS,
TELEPHONE POLES,
EVERYWHERE.

WE WANT IT ALL OVER.
"THINK GOD."

YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?

WHAT?

I THINK
YOU'RE A LOONY.

[LAUGHTER]

IF I'M GOING
TO WRITE ON WALLS,

I'M NOT WRITING
"THINK GOD."

THE THINGS
YOU WRITE ON WALLS

WOULD FOG UP
YOUR GLASSES.

COME ON, YOU GUYS.
LET TRACY TALK.

LISTEN.
THIS IS A GOOD IDEA.

WE ALL TAKE GOD
TOO MUCH FOR GRANTED.

WE SHOULD REMIND PEOPLE
TO THINK ABOUT HIM.

IF NOT FOR HIM,
WE WOULDN'T BE HERE.

THAT WILL SHAKE UP
MY PARENTS.

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

I THINK TRACY'S GOT
A NEAT IDEA.

LET'S DO SOMETHING GOOD
FOR A CHANGE.

LET'S VOTE. ALL IN FAVOR,
RAISE YOUR HANDS.

YAY!

YAY!

YAY!

YAY!

WHAT IS THIS?

WHAT ARE WE,
RELIGIOUS FREAKS?

NEXT YOU'LL HAVE US
SHAVING OUR HEADS.

I'VE HEARD
SOME DUMB IDEAS,

I'VE HEARD SOME
CRAZY IDEAS,

BUT THIS ONE
TAKES THE CAKE,

AND IT SHOULD
TAKE THE CAKE

BECAUSE IT'S THE GREATEST
IDEA I EVER HEARD.

LET'S GET TOGETHER
AND PUT THIS THING OVER.

LET'S GO!

YEAH!

YEAH!

YEAH!

WHAT MADE ME
SAY THAT?

HEY! HEY, WHAT DO YOU
THINK YOU'RE DOING?

GO ON, GO ON.
GET OUT OF HERE.

THERE. NOW,
THAT LOOKS BETTER.

TRACY?

YES?

TRACY, I WANT TO
TALK TO YOU.

CAN'T IT WAIT?
I'M AWFUL HUNGRY.

I WANT TO TALK
TO YOU RIGHT NOW.

GOT THE NOTE
FROM MISS HUDSON, HUH?

SIT DOWN.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT A THING.

I'LL CATCH UP
ON MY HOMEWORK.

TRACY, SIT DOWN.

WHEN IS DINNER?

PARK IT.

TRACY...

HARRIET STOPPED BY
THE OFFICE TODAY,

AND SHE TOLD ME
THAT SHE SAW YOU
TALKING TO YOURSELF

AT THE RED DRAGON,

THAT YOU WERE DOING
THE SAME THING
AT McDONALD'S.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I WASN'T TALKING
TO MYSELF.

WHO WERE YOU
TALKING TO?

WAS IT THE SAME
PERSON YOU WERE
TALKING TO

THE OTHER NIGHT?

TRACY?

YOU WON'T BELIEVE ME.

I WILL.

GOD.

WHAT'S GOD
GOT TO DO WITH IT?

HE'S THE ONE
I'VE BEEN TALKING TO.

OH, GOD.

OH, GOD.

YOU MEAN YOU'VE
BEEN PRAYING TO GOD,

SORT OF OUT LOUD?

NO. HE TALKS TO ME,
AND I TALK TO HIM.

YOU MEAN, YOU
ACTUALLY HEARD HIM?

SURE, I HEARD HIM.

HE WAS IN THE DEN.

YOU MEAN
YOU SAW HIM, TOO?

UH-HUH.

OH, TRACY.

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

YOU'RE IMAGINING THINGS,
HONEY.

PEOPLE JUST DON'T
SEE AND CHAT WITH GOD.

MOM, I SAW HIM,
LOTS OF TIMES.

I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T
BELIEVE ME.

SHINGO,
THAT'S GREAT,
BUT I CAN'T TALK.

I'M TRYING TO DO
MY HOMEWORK.

HOMEWORK?
WHO'S DOING HOMEWORK?

WE'RE PRINTING,
PAINTING, AND POSTING.

MY COUSINS ARE DOING IT
AT THEIR SCHOOL.

IT'S SPREADING.

THAT'S GREAT.

THAT'S JUST
FANTASTIC.

KEEP UP
THE GOOD WORK.

YOU CAN TAKE OVER.

YOU STARTED IT!

I KNOW, BUT YOU
CAN FINISH IT.
GOODBYE, SHINGO.

WAIT. TRACY, I--

OH, HI.

TRACY, YOU CAN'T QUIT.

I JUST DID.

YOU'RE OFF
TO A GREAT START.

YOU'RE DOING A SUPER JOB
FOR A GREAT CAUSE.

AND GETTING INTO
SUPER TROUBLE.

WELCOME TO THE CLUB.

THERE ARE SOME HEAVY
HITTERS IN THAT LINEUP.

SOCRATES,
MARTIN LUTHER KING,

MAHATMA GANDHI,
ABE LINCOLN.

I'M JUST A KID.

I TOLD MY MOM,
AND NOW SHE THINKS
I'M BANANAS.

IT NEVER FAILS.

SHE'S REALLY UPTIGHT
ABOUT IT.

BANANAS. I HATE
THAT EXPRESSION.

I MAKE A BEAUTIFUL FRUIT,

AND PEOPLE USE IT
FOR CRAZY.

MY TEACHER'S
ON MY BACK, TOO.

I'VE BEEN SO BUSY,
I HAVEN'T DONE
ANY HOMEWORK.

LET ME SEE
WHAT YOU GOT.

ABOUT A ZILLION PROBLEMS
TO MAKE UP, THAT'S ALL.

LET ME SEE. MAYBE
I CAN HELP YOU.

MATHEMATICS.
THAT WAS A MISTAKE.

I SHOULD HAVE
MADE THE WHOLE
THING EASIER.

YOU MAKE MISTAKES?

NOBODY'S PERFECT.

I BLEW IT
WITH THE DEAD SEA.

ALL THAT SALT
AND NO LIFE IN IT.

AND THE FLAMINGO--

BEAUTIFUL BIRD,

AND I PUT THE KNEECAPS
ON BACKWARDS.

AND I COULD HAVE
FOUND A BETTER WAY

FOR A SKUNK
TO DEFEND HIMSELF.

AND YOU SURE GOOFED
WITH THE GIRAFFE.

GIRAFFE?

WHY'D YOU MAKE
THE NECK SO LONG?

SO HE COULD
EAT THE LEAVES
OFF THE TREES.

WHY DIDN'T YOU MAKE
THE TREES SHORTER?

WHERE WERE YOU
WHEN I NEEDED YOU?

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

THIS IS INCREDIBLE.

I KNOW, IT'S AWFUL.

A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO,

SHE WAS ACTING
A LITTLE STRANGELY.

YES. SHE WAS ASKING
ME SOME QUESTIONS

ABOUT GOD
AND HOW I'D HANDLE

AN ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN
FOR HIM.

I DIDN'T THINK
ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

I DON'T KNOW
HOW THIS HAPPENS.

DO YOU SUPPOSE
SHE'S MAKING IT UP,

YOU KNOW, AS A PLAY
FOR ATTENTION?

OH, COME ON, DON.

IF TRACY'S ONE THING,
SHE'S TRUTHFUL.

I DON'T THINK SHE'S
EVER TOLD A LIE.

I'M SORRY
I WAS SO CRABBY.

I UNDERSTAND.

HERE'S
YOUR HOMEWORK.

WOW. THANKS.

GOD.

YEAH?

WHO DO YOU
PRAY TO?

ME? WELL, SOMETIMES
I TALK TO MYSELF.

IT MUST BE REAL
LONESOME UP THERE.

WELL, WHEN I SNEEZE,

THERE'S NO ONE AROUND
TO BLESS ME.

TRACY!

UH-OH,
NOW IT'S MY DAD.

I'VE GOT TO GO.

AND BLESS YOU, GOD.

THAT'S FOR
YOUR NEXT SNEEZE.

MAYBE I SHOULD
HAVE MADE THE TREES
A LITTLE SHORTER.

HI, DADDY.

HI, SWEETHEART.

HOW'S MY BABY?

OK.

SO, UH...

MOM TOLD YOU, HUH?

LOOK, UM...

SWEETHEART...

YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES
PEOPLE IMAGINE THINGS,

UH...

KIDS IN PARTICULAR.

I DIDN'T IMAGINE IT.

IT SEEMS SO REAL.

IT REALLY SEEMS
LIKE IT HAPPENED.

I TALKED TO HIM.
HE TALKED TO ME.

YOUR IMAGINATION
JUST RUNS RIGHT
AWAY FROM YOU.

DADDY, I KNOW
IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE.

IT'S HARD FOR ME
TO BELIEVE,

BUT IT HAPPENED.

IT HAPPENED?

UH...

LET ME
GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU'RE SAYING YOU
ACTUALLY SAW GOD,

I MEAN,
AS A REAL PERSON?

LOTS OF TIMES.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU SAW HIM?

HE JUST HELPED ME
WITH MY MATH.

OH, MY GOD.

GOD WAS UPSTAIRS HELPING YOU
WITH YOUR HOMEWORK?

YEAH.
HERE IT IS.

UM...

WELL, THIS MULTIPLICATION
IS VERY GOOD,

BUT, TRACY, SWEETHEART,
THESE ARE YOUR NUMBERS.

THAT'S YOUR WRITING.

THAT WAS EASY
FOR HIM TO DO.

YEAH, I SUPPOSE
IT WOULD BE.

UM...

RIGHT. WELL, UM...

OK. WE'LL TALK ABOUT THIS
LATER, ALL RIGHT?

WHY DON'T YOU, UM...

WHY DON'T YOU
GO BACK UPSTAIRS

AND FINISH YOUR...

YOUR STUDYING, OK?

BUT YOU BOTH THINK
I'M BANANAS.

OH, I SHOULDN'T HAVE
SAID THAT.

HE HATES THAT EXPRESSION.

WHAT THE HELL
HAS BEEN GOING ON HERE
SINCE I LEFT?

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

IF YOU SPENT LESS TIME

PEDDLING THOSE
OVERPRICED HOUSES,

THIS WOULDN'T HAVE
HAPPENED.

I'VE NEVER NEGLECTED
THAT CHILD,

AND YOU KNOW IT.

I'M NOT THE ONE
WHO MOVED OUT.
YOU ARE.

LET'S NOT
GET INTO THAT.

THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM.

I'LL TAKE HER
TO A CHILD PSYCHIATRIST.

NO!

NO WAY. NEVER.

PAULA, SHE NEEDS HELP.

LOOK.

YOU TAKE CARE
OF BOOBS,

AND I WILL TAKE CARE
OF TRACY.

WE'RE NOT HERE TO ARGUE.
SHE'S IN TROUBLE.

WHAT ABOUT A MINISTER?

HE COULD AT LEAST--

LOOK. WHY DO WE HAVE
TO TAKE HER TO ANYBODY?

I MEAN...

MAYBE IT'S NOT ALL
THAT BAD, YOU KNOW?

SHE'S OURS.
CAN'T WE...

CAN'T WE JUST
WORK IT OUT OURSELVES?

OK. GIVE IT
A COUPLE OF DAYS.

MAYBE SHE'LL JUST
SNAP OUT OF IT.

I'LL CALL YOU.

GOD HELPED HER
WITH HER HOMEWORK.

TERRIFIC.
JUST TERRIFIC.

[BELL RINGS]

WHAT THE HELL IS
GOING ON AROUND HERE?

EVERYWHERE I LOOK,
"THINK GOD."

WHO'S RESPONSIBLE
FOR THIS?

OH, IT'S TRACY RICHARDS.

WHO'S TRACY RICHARDS?
WHAT GRADE IS SHE IN?

SHE'S IN
MISS HUDSON'S CLASS.

GET HER IN HERE
AND MISS HUDSON, TOO.

I'LL GET
TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.

ARE WE RUNNING
A SCHOOL OR A MONASTERY?

UH, NOW,
MR. AND MRS. RICHARDS,

SINCE THIS IS
A BEHAVIOR PROBLEM,

I'VE ASKED DR. YOUNG,
OUR SCHOOL PSYCHOLOGIST,

TO, UH...SIT IN.

SHE'S A LITTLE BEHIND
IN HER HOMEWORK, BUT--

OH, IT'S WAY BEYOND THAT,
MRS. RICHARDS.

HAVE YOU SEEN ALL THOSE
"THINK GOD" SIGNS AROUND?

WELL, TRACY IS RESPONSIBLE
FOR THE WHOLE THING.

SHE HELD A MEETING,
GOT KIDS WORKED UP.

NOW THEY'RE ALL
RUNNING AROUND WRITING,

TACKING UP SIGNS.

WHAT, EXACTLY,
IS SO AWFUL

ABOUT WRITING
"THINK GOD"?

I MEAN--

YEAH, I MEAN,
IF KIDS ARE GOING
TO WRITE ON WALLS,

THEY MIGHT AS WELL
WRITE SOMETHING NICE.

I AGREE,
BUT THE POINT IS,

RELIGION IN THE SCHOOLS
IS A VERY SENSITIVE AREA.

IT IS NOT ALLOWED.

SHE'S GOT THE WHOLE PLACE
IN AN UPROAR.

SHE'S DISRUPTED
THE ENTIRE SCHOOL.

SHE'S NEVER BEEN
A TROUBLEMAKER.

SHE'S CERTAINLY MAKING UP
FOR IT THIS TIME.

I HAD A TALK WITH HER.

I TOLD HER
TO CUT ALL THIS OUT.

SHE SAID SHE COULDN'T.

SHE COULDN'T?

THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE.

WOULD YOU
BRING IN TRACY, PLEASE?

IF YOU CAN'T GET HER
TO COOPERATE,

I'LL SIMPLY HAVE TO
SUSPEND HER FROM SCHOOL.

I'M SORRY.

TRACY, WOULD YOU
SIT DOWN, PLEASE?

YOUR PARENTS WOULD LIKE
TO TALK TO YOU.

TRACY...

YOU REALLY
HAVE TO COOPERATE.

I MEAN,
MR. BENSON IS RIGHT.

YOU'VE DISRUPTED
THE ENTIRE SCHOOL.

WELL, UNLESS
THIS THING STOPS,

THEY'RE GOING TO
SUSPEND YOU.

YOU DON'T WANT
THAT TO HAPPEN,
DO YOU, SWEETHEART?

OK, MOM.

I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'LL TELL THE KIDS
TO CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF.

WELL, NOW,
THAT'S ALL WE ASK.

ALL RIGHT, TRACY. YOU CAN
GO BACK TO CLASS NOW.

THANK YOU, MR. BENSON.

BYE, MOMMY.

GOODBYE,
SWEETHEART.

SEE YOU SATURDAY,
DADDY.

BYE, BABY.

BUT BEFORE I TELL
THE KIDS TO STOP,

I HAVE TO ASK HIM.

ASK WHO?

ASK WHO, TRACY?

GOD.

OH, GOD.

HE'S THE ONE
WHO TOLD YOU TO DO THIS?

YEAH. IT WAS PART
HIS IDEA AND PART MINE.

OH.

WHEN YOU TALKED TO HIM,

DID HE TALK
TO YOU, TOO?

YES. HE TALKED
TO ME FIRST.

I SEE.

WE TALKED
QUITE A FEW TIMES.

WHEN WAS THE FIRST TIME?

THE FIRST TIME
I TALKED TO HIM
OR SAW HIM?

YOU SAW HIM?

SURE.

WHAT DID HE LOOK LIKE?

WELL, HE WEARS GLASSES,

AND HE'S GOT GRAY HAIR,

AND HE'S A VERY
NICE-LOOKING MAN.

I'M SURE.

HOW DID YOU
FIRST MEET HIM?

IN A CHINESE RESTAURANT.

HE SENT ME A MESSAGE
IN A FORTUNE COOKIE.

UH...

TRACY, WOULD YOU, UH...

WAIT OUT
IN THE HALL, PLEASE?

YOUR CHILD NEEDS HELP.

SHE IS OUT OF TOUCH
WITH REALITY.

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.

I HAVE MY
RESPONSIBILITY.

I'M SORRY TO TELL YOU THIS,
MR. AND MRS. RICHARDS,

BUT, AS OF NOW,
TRACY IS SUSPENDED
FROM SCHOOL.

FOR HOW LONG?

UNTIL SHE'S WELL.

HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT,
SUSPENDING TRACY?

SHE DIDN'T DO
ANYTHING WRONG.

IF THEY'RE GOING
TO THROW HER OUT,

WHY DON'T THEY
THROW US OUT?

WE'VE ALL BEEN WRITING
"THINK GOD."

WHAT WILL WE DO?

WE WON'T TAKE IT
LYING DOWN.

WE'LL FIGHT BACK.

AND ANOTHER THING,

EVERYBODY IS TRYING
TO HELP ME.

I DON'T NEED HELP.

I FEEL FINE.

I'M PERFECTLY NORMAL.

YOU OUGHT TO BE
PROUD OF ME.

NOT EVERYBODY
GETS PICKED BY GOD.

I'M IN
A PRETTY GOOD CLUB--

SOCRATES, ABE LINCOLN,
AND PEOPLE LIKE THAT.

MR. AND MRS. RICHARDS,

THE DOCTOR WOULD LIKE
TO SEE YOU FIRST.

WE'LL BE BACK
IN A MINUTE, BABY.

HIYA, TRACY.

OH, HELLO.

I WAS WONDERING
WHEN YOU WERE
GOING TO SHOW UP.

EXPELLED FROM SCHOOL,

AND NOW YOU'RE A LITTLE
UPSET ABOUT THIS?

NO. I'M FINE.

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE
A LITTLE UPSET.

I KNOW YOU'VE GOT
A LOT TO DO,

BUT YOU WOULDN'T FORGET
ABOUT ME, WOULD YOU?

WELL, YOU ARE
A LITTLE WORRIED,
AREN'T YOU?

I GUESS I AM.

LET ME...

LET ME TELL YOU
A LITTLE STORY.

THERE WAS THIS TIGER
IN THE JUNGLE,

AND HE GOT A THORN
IN HIS PAW.

IT WAS VERY PAINFUL.

THIS LITTLE CAT
SAW THIS

AND PULLED THE THORN
OUT OF HIS PAW.

THIS MADE THE TIGER
VERY HAPPY.

THE CAT SAYS, "I'VE
DONE YOU A FAVOR.

YOU DO ME ONE."

THE TIGER SAYS,
"ANYTHING."

THE CAT SAYS,
"WHENEVER I'M
IN THE JUNGLE,

I'M SCARED
OF THE ANIMALS."

THE TIGER SAYS,
"NO PROBLEM.

"WHEN YOU WALK
THROUGH THE JUNGLE,

"HOLD YOUR HEAD UP,

"SHAKE IT,
WAG YOUR TAIL,

AND THEY'LL THINK
YOU'RE A TIGER."

THE LITTLE CAT
GOT AWAY WITH IT
FOR THREE YEARS.

ONE DAY SHE MET
THE TIGER.

SHE WAS
SHAKING HER HEAD,
WAGGING HER TAIL.

THE TIGER SAYS,
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO
SHAKE AND WAG AT ME.

I KNOW
YOU'RE A CAT."

THAT'S IT?

THAT'S IT.

WHAT'S THAT
HAVE TO DO WITH ME?

NOTHING.
IT'S A CUTE STORY.

I THOUGHT IT MIGHT
CHEER YOU UP.

THAT'S BETTER.

YOU'VE BEEN SEPARATED
SEVEN MONTHS, RIGHT?

YES.

FROM WHAT YOU'VE SAID,

TRACY'S CONTACTS
WITH GOD

USUALLY TAKE PLACE
IN EATING AREAS.

THE CHINESE RESTAURANT,

McDONALD'S,
AN ICE CREAM CART.

THEY'VE ALL TAKEN PLACE
SINCE YOU, MR. RICHARDS,

LEFT THE HOUSE
FOLLOWING YOUR SEPARATION.

SO, OBVIOUSLY,

TRACY HAS CREATED
A FANTASY FATHER FIGURE

AS A SUBSTITUTE

TO GIVE HER
THE EMOTIONAL NURTURING

SHE CRAVES
FROM HER MISSING FATHER.

ARE YOU SURE?

ONE IS NEVER
COMPLETELY SURE,

BUT THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE
YOU SAID

THAT'S VERY INTRIGUING.

TRACY'S FANTASY FATHER,
GOD,

LIKE HER REAL FATHER,
IS INTERESTED IN ADVERTISING

OR SPREADING A MESSAGE,
SO TO SPEAK.

WELL, THAT'S TRUE.

WELL, THESE ARE
ONLY THEORIES.

I'LL HAVE TO GIVE TRACY
A SERIES OF TESTS

TO VERIFY THEM.

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

OOH!

OW.

WHAT'S YOUR FIRST MEMORY
INVOLVING A PERSON?

I CAN REMEMBER MY DAD
PEELING AN APPLE.

NOW, TODAY,
I WANT YOU TO TELL ME

IF THESE ARE REAL PEOPLE
OR IMAGINARY CHARACTERS.

ROBERT REDFORD.

HE'S REAL.

GEORGE WASHINGTON.

WAS HE REAL?

OF COURSE.

BUGS BUNNY.

REAL OR IMAGINARY?

OH, COME ON, DOCTOR.

WOULD YOU LOOK
AT THESE SLIDES

AND TELL ME
WHAT YOU SEE?

EGG FOO YUNG.

OK. WHAT ABOUT THIS?

SHRIMP IN LOBSTER SAUCE.

AND THIS?

SPAGHETTI.

"THE TASTE OF MAMA."

YOU SEEM TO ASSOCIATE
EVERYTHING WITH FOOD.

THAT SEEMS
VERY SIGNIFICANT.

IT COULD ALSO BE
I'M STARVED.

AH.

THERE IS NO EVIDENCE

OF ANY ORGANIC DISTURBANCE
IN TRACY.

OH, WELL, THAT'S GOOD.

HOWEVER, THE EVALUATION
IN THE BEHAVIORAL AREA

IS NOT ENCOURAGING.

TRACY IS STILL
STEADFASTLY INSISTING

THAT SHE'S ACTUALLY SEEN
AND SPOKEN WITH GOD...

A DELUSION
THAT INDICATES

A REAL PSYCHOSIS.

PSYCHOSIS?

I'M AFRAID SO.

WHAT TRACY NEEDS IS
OBSERVATION AND TREATMENT.

NOW, WE HAVE A FINE PLACE
IN SANTA BARBARA

WHERE SHE'LL GET
EXPERT CARE.

BEFORE YOU KNOW IT--

WAIT. YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY
SUGGESTING THAT...

THAT SHE BE PUT
IN AN INSTITUTION,
ARE YOU?

DON'T LET THAT WORD
BOTHER YOU.

A BANK
IS AN INSTITUTION.

A SCHOOL, A SUPERMARKET,

EVERYTHING
IS AN INSTITUTION.

THE FACT IS,
THIS IS A NICE, PLEASANT

CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT
WITH A TRAINED STAFF.

SHE'LL BE MUCH
BETTER OFF THERE.

AND...

SHE HAS TO BE THERE.

IT'S, UM...

IT'S A KIND OF RANCH
IN SANTA BARBARA,
SWEETHEART,

ONLY, UH...

YOU WON'T HAVE TO GO
FOR AT LEAST
TWO DAYS.

AND YOU'LL BE BACK
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT.

DON'T BE SO UPTIGHT.
I'M NOT WORRIED.

THAT'S A GOOD ATTITUDE.

YOU'RE A VERY BRIGHT
YOUNG LADY.

GOD WOULD NEVER LET THEM
PUT ME INTO AN INSTITUTION.

I'M STARVED.

LET'S GO FOR LUNCH.

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BENSON IS RIGHT!

BENSON IS RIGHT!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BENSON IS RIGHT!

BENSON IS RIGHT!

BRING BACK TRACY!

BRING BACK TRACY!

[BELL JINGLES]

GOD?

GOD?

WHERE ARE YOU?

I NEED YOU.

IT'S BEEN DAYS.

TOMORROW THEY'RE PUTTING ME
INTO AN INSTITUTION.

I'VE BEEN TO THREE CHURCHES
AND A SYNAGOGUE.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU.

[THE TONIGHT SHOW
THEME PLAYS]

FROM HOLLYWOOD,

THE TONIGHT SHOW
STARRING JOHNNY CARSON.

THIS IS ED McMAHON
ALONG WITH DOC SEVERINSEN

AND THE NBC ORCHESTRA

INVITING YOU TO JOIN
JOHNNY AND HIS GUESTS...

BUDDY HACKETT,
STEVE LAWRENCE,

AND DIZZY GILLESPIE.

AND NOW, LADIES
AND GENTLEMEN,

HERE'S...

JOHNNY!

[POP]

TRACY, WHAT'S WRONG?

I CAME
TO SAY GOODBYE.

I'M RUNNING AWAY.

THEY WON'T
LOCK ME UP.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I DON'T KNOW.
SOMEPLACE.

I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN.
MEET ME IN MY GARAGE.

I KNOW THE PERFECT
HIDING PLACE.

"DEAR MOM AND DAD,

"I'M NOT GOING
TO ANY FUNNY FARM.

"DON'T WORRY.
I'LL BE OK.

"I LOVE YOU BOTH.

REMEMBER
TO FEED MY GOLDFISH."

PAULA, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
WE'LL FIND HER.

ROSA, ARE YOU OK?

FINE.

IS THERE COFFEE
IN THE KITCHEN?

YES, OF COURSE.

WOULD YOU BRING SOME?

DON, THAT POOR
LITTLE KID.

WHAT COULD'VE
HAPPENED TO HER?

WHERE COULD SHE BE?

PAULA,
IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

I THINK WE SHOULD
CALL THE POLICE.

IT'LL BE
ALL OVER THE PAPERS.

IT ALREADY IS.

SHINGO, WHERE WERE YOU?

I'VE LOOKED ALL OVER
FOR YOU.

I'VE BEEN
TACKING UP SIGNS.

WHERE'S TRACY?

WHY, IS SHE MISSING?

SHINGO,
WHERE'S TRACY?

I DON'T KNOW. I HAVEN'T
SEEN HER ALL DAY.

LOOK, PAL.

YOU AND TRACY
ARE VERY CLOSE.

SHE TELLS YOU
EVERYTHING.

YOU LISTEN TO ME.

THIS IS
VERY SERIOUS.

I WANT TO KNOW
WHERE SHE IS.

[SPEAKING JAPANESE]

TRACY?

RINGO, RINGO.

RINGO RINGO RING--
RINGA RING.

SHINGO.

SHINGO TALK YOU.

THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

HI, SHINGO.
WHAT'S UP?

I HAD TO TELL
YOUR FATHER
WHERE YOU ARE.

WHY?

HE DRAGGED IT
OUT OF ME.

THEY'RE COMING
TO GET YOU.

THANKS, SHINGO.

THIS IS THE LAST CALL
FOR THE SOUTHWEST LIMITED,

AMTRAK TRAIN NUMBER 4
DEPARTING FOR CHICAGO

LATER ON, TOMMY.

GOOD MORNING.

ON TRACK 3.

ALL ABOARD!

TRACY.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

I'VE LOOKED ALL OVER
FOR YOU.

TRACY,
I'M A VERY BUSY MAN.

MY PHONE
NEVER STOPS RINGING.

RUNNING AWAY--
THAT'S NOT LIKE YOU.

I WAS SCARED.

I DIDN'T WANT
TO GO INTO THAT
DUMB INSTITUTION.

IT ALL SEEMED
SO HOPELESS.

SO YOU PANICKED.

ALL I WAS DOING
WAS CAUSING TROUBLE.

MY PARENTS WERE
SO WORRIED ABOUT ME.

NOW THEY'RE
EVEN MORE WORRIED.

I GUESS RUNNING AWAY
ISN'T THE ANSWER.

NEVER WAS.

WHEN YOU KNOW
YOU'RE RIGHT,
YOU HANG IN THERE.

GUESS I'M NOT A MEMBER
OF THE CLUB ANYMORE.

NO, NO. THE BEST OF THEM
HAD THEIR WEAK MOMENTS.

THEY ALL STRUCK OUT
A FEW TIMES.

DON'T BE SO HARD
ON YOURSELF.

TRACY,
I'M TAKING YOU HOME.

I WANT YOU TO.

YOU FEEL BETTER
NOW?

YEAH.

CAN I ASK YOU
A QUESTION?

GO AHEAD.

WHY DO YOU LET
BAD THINGS HAPPEN?

YOU ASK
VERY GOOD QUESTIONS.

YOU KNOW, TRACY,

THINGS THAT YOU
MIGHT THINK ARE BAD

ARE NOT ALWAYS BAD.

SOMETIMES
THERE'S A PURPOSE
YOU'RE NOT AWARE OF.

BUT WHAT ABOUT
SICKNESS?

WHAT ABOUT
KIDS MY AGE WHO
GET SICK AND DIE?

THOSE ARE REALLY
BAD THINGS,
AREN'T THEY?

THOSE ARE BAD THINGS.

YES, PAIN
AND SUFFERING--

THAT'S A HARD ONE
TO EXPLAIN.

I'LL BET.

THIS SOUNDS
LIKE A COPOUT,

BUT THERE'S NOTHING
I CAN REALLY DO
ABOUT IT.

IT'S BUILT
INTO THE SYSTEM.

WHICH YOU INVENTED.

I NEVER COULD
FIGURE OUT HOW
TO MAKE ANYTHING

WITH JUST
ONE SIDE TO IT.

ONE SIDE?

YOU EVER SEE A FRONT
WITHOUT A BACK?

A TOP WITHOUT
A BOTTOM?

NO.

UP WITHOUT DOWN?

NO.

OK. AND THERE CAN'T BE
GOOD WITHOUT BAD,

LIFE WITHOUT DEATH,

PLEASURE
WITHOUT PAIN.

THAT'S HOW IT IS.

IF I TAKE SAD AWAY,
HAPPY GOES WITH IT.

IF ANYONE KNOWS
ANOTHER WAY,

I WISH THEY'D PUT IT
IN THE SUGGESTION BOX.

I GUESS SOMEDAY
I'LL UNDERSTAND.

YOU DO,
YOU'LL BE THE FIRST.

SOME THINGS
CAN'T BE GRASPED.

WHAT'S THE END?

THE END OF TIME?

THE END
OF THE UNIVERSE?

EVEN EINSTEIN
FLUNKED THAT ONE.

YOU TALK TO ME
LIKE I'M GROWN UP.

I LIKE THAT.

GOOD.
LET'S GET GOING.

IN A HALF HOUR,
YOU'LL BE
IN YOUR OWN BED.

A HALF HOUR?
BUT YOU GOT TO MY ROOM

FROM THE CARSON SHOW
IN ONE SECOND.

TRACY,
THAT WORKS FOR ME.

FOR YOU, I'LL HAVE TO
DO IT THE HARD WAY.

AND THERE IT IS.

[ENGINE STARTS]

WOW! I'M GOING
TO LIKE THIS.

COME ON, LET'S GO.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN
ON ONE OF THESE?

NO.

NEITHER HAVE I.
HANG ON.

WHEE!

HAVING FUN, TRACY?

YEAH!

WOW, THIS
IS TERRIFIC!

[SIRENS]

HERE COME
THE POLICE!

HOLD ON!

WOW!

WHEE!

HA HA HA HA!

DID YOU SEE
WHAT I SAW?

NO DRIVER.
JUST A PASSENGER?

THAT'S RIGHT.

NO REPORT
ON THIS ONE.

NO WAY.

WE MUST HAVE
JUST MISSED HER.

PAULA,
IT'S ALL RIGHT.

THE POLICE ARE
GOING TO FIND HER.

LOOK, WHY DON'T
I STAY OVER

IN CASE
WE HEAR SOMETHING?

DON...

THERE'S A LIGHT
IN TRACY'S ROOM.

TRACY?

TRACY?

TRACY! WHERE
WERE YOU, DARLING?

WHAT HAPPENED?

BABY...
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH.

WELL, HOW DID
YOU GET HOME?

GOD BROUGHT ME HOME
ON HIS MOTORCYCLE.

WELL, THAT'S...

THAT'S JUST
WONDERFUL, SWEETHEART.

COME ON, GET
SOME SLEEP NOW.

OK.

GOOD NIGHT, BUTTON.

GOOD NIGHT.

DON'T WORRY.

I'M NOT AFRAID
OF THAT INSTITUTION
ANYMORE.

WELL...

WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT
IN THE MORNING, TRACY.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD MORNING.
I'M HUGH DOWNS.

I'VE BEEN BROADCASTING
FOR OVER FOUR DECADES,

AND I HAVE NEVER SEEN
A PHENOMENON

LIKE THE ONE
THAT'S GOING ON TODAY.

14 DAYS AGO,
THIS LITTLE SCHOOLGIRL

FROM WEST LOS ANGELES,
CALIFORNIA--TRACY RICHARDS,

DECIDED TO WRITE "THINK GOD"
ON THIS SIDEWALK.

SHE GOT SOME SCHOOL FRIENDS
TO HELP HER OUT.

AND THIS THING
HAS REALLY SPREAD.

ON FENCES...

ON BUMPER STICKERS...

AND LOOK AT THIS.

AND THIS.

AND IF YOU THINK THAT'S
SOMETHING, THERE'S MORE.

LONDON.

FROM BUCKINGHAM PALACE
TO PICCADILLY SQUARE,

EVERYWHERE
LONDONERS GO TODAY,

THEY ARE REMINDED
TO "THINK GOD."

PARIS.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

TOKYO.

[SPEAKING JAPANESE]

CAIRO.

[SPEAKING ARABIC]

NOW HERE IS
NOTED PSYCHOLOGIST

DR. JOYCE BROTHERS.

WE SHOULD KEEP
AN OPEN MIND.

IF THERE ISN'T A GOD,
I'D LIKE TO POINT OUT

THAT THOSE CHILDREN WHO
EASILY ENGAGE IN FANTASY,

WHO'VE HAD
AN IMAGINARY PLAYMATE

OR AN IMAGINARY
COMPANION,

DO BETTER IN DEALING
WITH THE CRISES OF LIFE

THAN THOSE WHO DIDN'T.

AND IF THERE IS A GOD,

I BELIEVE TRACY RICHARDS
SAW HIM AND SPOKE TO HIM.

STRANGELY, CHILDREN
OFTEN HAVE

A FIRMER GRIP ON REALITY
THAN MOST ADULTS.

AND, AS
THE OLD TESTAMENT SAYS,

"AND A LITTLE CHILD
SHALL LEAD THEM."

NOW WE KNOW THE REASON.

THE CHURCHES ARE FULL,
BUT THE CLASSROOMS
ARE EMPTY.

WHEN TRACY RICHARDS
WAS EXPELLED FROM SCHOOL,

IT SET OFF A CITYWIDE
STUDENT STRIKE.

IT ALSO SET OFF
BITTER CONFRONTATION

BETWEEN SUPERINTENDENT
OF SCHOOLS
JEFFREY HODGES

AND DR. JEROME NEWELL--

THE PSYCHIATRIST
IN WHOSE CARE
TRACY HAS BEEN PLACED.

THE SUPERINTENDENT
WANTS HER BACK IN SCHOOL,

BUT DR. NEWELL SAYS NO.

THE CASE IS BEING HEARD
BY JUDGE THOMAS MILLER.

WE'RE IN A CRISIS.

AS SUPERINTENDENT
OF SCHOOLS,

IT'S
MY RESPONSIBILITY

TO GET THE CHILDREN
BACK INTO CLASS.

I WANT A COURT ORDER
TO FORCE DR. NEWELL

TO RELEASE
TRACY RICHARDS.

SUPERINTENDENT HODGES
IS WRONG, YOUR HONOR.

SHE DOESN'T BELONG
IN SCHOOL.

SHE'S SUFFERING
FROM DELUSIONS.

SHE BELONGS WHERE
SHE CAN GET CARE
AND TREATMENT.

CHILDREN IMAGINE...
LOTS OF THINGS.

OUR WHOLE SCHOOL SYSTEM
IS PARALYZED

BECAUSE OF THE PERSONAL
OPINION OF ONE MAN.

EXCUSE ME, BUT
I DON'T INTEND TO RELY

ON THE PERSONAL OPINION
OF ONE MAN, SIR.

NOW, BEFORE I ISSUE
A COURT ORDER, DR. NEWELL,

DO SOMETHING FOR ME.

I'D LIKE YOU
TO CONVENE A PANEL

OF TOP PSYCHIATRISTS
IN THIS CITY

AND HAVE THEM
THOROUGHLY EXAMINE

THIS POOR LITTLE GIRL--
TRACY RICHARDS, IS IT?

TRACY RICHARDS.

AND THEN, WHEN THEY'VE
MADE THEIR CONCLUSIONS...

I'LL MAKE MY DECISION.

YES, I MET HIM
IN MY DAD'S CAR.

HE CAME THROUGH
THE TELEVISION SET.

HE GAVE ME ICE CREAM--
CHERRY JUBILEE,

WE ATE AT McDONALD'S,

AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN--

HE BROUGHT ME HOME
ON HIS MOTORCYCLE.

DR. WHITLEY,
THERE'S ONE QUESTION
I WOULD LIKE TO ASK.

I THINK THERE HAVE BEEN
ENOUGH QUESTIONS.

MR. AND MRS. RICHARDS,

IS THERE ANYTHING
THAT YOU'D LIKE TO ADD?

WELL, UH...
WHAT CAN WE SAY?

NO, UH...

WE'D LIKE TO DO
WHATEVER'S BEST
FOR TRACY.

WOULD YOU THREE
MIND STEPPING INTO
THE WAITING ROOM?

UH, CARL...

WELL, IT'S
VERY EVIDENT

WHAT WE'RE DEALING
WITH HERE.

I MIGHT ADD, DR. NEWELL,

YOU'VE DONE
YOUR USUAL THOROUGH JOB.

THANK YOU.

MAY I BRING UP A POINT?

I'D LIKE TO REMIND YOU

THAT THERE'S A GREAT
DEAL OF SYMPATHY

FOR THAT LITTLE GIRL.

MANY CHILDREN
ARE OUT OF SCHOOL.

OUR PROFESSION WILL BE
UNDER TREMENDOUS PRESSURE.

WE CAN'T
GIVE IN TO THAT.

NO, WE CAN'T
GIVE IN TO THAT.

NO, WE--WE CAN'T.

IF WE LET HER
RUN AROUND
WITH HER DELUSIONS,

WHAT DO WE DO
ABOUT THE PATIENT

WHO THINKS
HE'S NAPOLEON?

CERTAINLY.
IF SHE'S RIGHT,

THEN, UH...
WE'RE ALL WRONG.

NO, THE GIRL BELONGS
IN AN INSTITUTION.

NOW, ARE THERE
ANY OBJECTIONS?

NO? THEN THAT'S
SETTLED.

CARL, WOULD YOU BRING
THEM BACK IN, PLEASE?

THEY'RE READY.

NOW, TRACY...

WE'VE ALL DECIDED
THAT, UH, YOU NEED HELP...

AND, BELIEVE ME, IT'S
IN YOUR BEST INTEREST.

AND THE CHANCES ARE

THAT YOU WON'T BE
THERE FOR LONG.

IF YOU LOOK AT IT
IN A POSITIVE WAY,

I'M SURE THAT YOU--

It's him.
It's God.

SORRY I'M LATE.

I WANT TO APOLOGIZE TO
MY DISTINGUISHED COLLEAGUES.

I WOULD'VE BEEN
HERE SOONER,

BUT I WAS STUCK
IN TRAFFIC.

EXCUSE ME, SIR.

WHO ARE YOU?

DR. STEVENS.

I DON'T RECALL
YOUR BEING INVITED.

IF I WAITED
TO BE INVITED,

I'D MISS A LOT
OF IMPORTANT THINGS.

HOWEVER,
IN THIS CASE,

I THINK
YOU'RE MISTAKEN.

BUT YOUR NAME'S
NOT ON THE LIST.
YES, IT IS.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

WE'RE ALL
LEARNED PSYCHIATRISTS.

WHAT DID THIS LITTLE GIRL DO
THAT WAS SO TERRIBLE?

SHE GOT CHILDREN TOGETHER.

THEY ALL WROTE
"THINK GOD,"

AND THE WORLD
IS THINKING GOD.

IS THAT SO BAD?

BUT, SIR, AS A...
LEARNED PSYCHIATRIST,

YOU OUGHT TO KNOW
THAT THAT'S NOT
THE POINT.

THIS LITTLE GIRL
CLAIMS

SHE NOT ONLY SAW GOD
AND SPOKE TO HIM,

BUT HE SPOKE
TO HER AS WELL.

WHO ARE WE TO SAY
THAT SHE DIDN'T?

MAYBE SHE DID.

MAYBE SHE DIDN'T.

LOOK, SIR,
WE'VE ALL VOTED.

I KNOW, AND YOU SAID
IF SHE'S RIGHT

THEN WE'RE ALL WRONG.

WELL...

HOW DID YOU KNOW
I SAID THAT?

I ALSO READ
TEA LEAVES.

LOOK, I MEAN,
WE ARE COMPETENT
PROFESSIONALS.

WE KNOW
OUR BUSINESS.

WE'VE BEEN OVER
THIS CASE BACKWARDS
AND FORWARDS,

AND WE HAVE MADE
OUR DECISION.

I WOULDN'T WANT THIS
TO GET AROUND,

BUT, IF WE'RE
SO COMPETENT,

SO RIGHT IN ALL
OUR METHODS AND THEORIES,

HOW IS IT SO MANY PEOPLE
IN INSTITUTIONS

NEVER GET OUT?

BUT THAT'S A SITUATION
BEYOND OUR CONTROL.

MANY PEOPLE WILL NEVER
BE ABLE TO DISTINGUISH

BETWEEN REALITY
AND ILLUSION.

REMEMBER, SOMETIMES
IT'S VERY DIFFICULT

TO DETERMINE WHAT IS REALITY
AND WHAT IS ILLUSION.

FOR INSTANCE,
THE, UH, THE CHANDELIER--

NOW, THAT'S REALITY.

WE ALL LOOKED UP,

WE ALL SAW IT.

WE ALL KNOW IT'S THERE.

BUT IS IT?

[GASP]

[GASP]

OH, MY GOD...

IT IS GOD.

WHAT'S THE ILLUSION,
AND WHAT'S THE REALITY?

DID THE CHANDELIER
DISAPPEAR OR NOT?

WE'RE ALL
INTELLIGENT PEOPLE.

DID WE SEE IT,
OR DIDN'T WE SEE IT?

MAYBE THAT LITTLE GIRL

DID SEE AND TALK WITH GOD.

WHERE IS IT WRITTEN
THAT MOSES HAD AN EXCLUSIVE?

JUST BECAUSE
WE HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO GOD

DOESN'T MEAN SHE HASN'T.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON
OR WHO YOU ARE--

MAYBE A MAGICIAN
OR A HYPNOTIST--

BUT THERE ARE SOME
THINGS I'M SURE OF.

I KNOW THAT WE'RE ALL
PSYCHIATRISTS HERE.

I KNOW I'M
BENJAMIN CHARLES WHITLEY.

I HAVE FOUR CHILDREN.

I PAY $2,200 A MONTH
ALIMONY.

I KNOW THIS IS
THE UCLA
MEDICAL CENTER,

AND I KNOW IT IS
11:30 IN THE MORNING.

DOCTOR...

ARE YOU SURE
IT'S MORNING?

[GASP]

[GASP]

DOCTOR, YOU'RE RIGHT.

IT IS 11:30
IN THE MORNING.

I KNOW WE'RE ALL
ANXIOUS TO GET HOME,

BUT BEFORE
WE JUDGE TRACY,

SHOULDN'T WE ALL

BE A LITTLE MORE SURE
OF OURSELVES?

IF WE TOLD EVERYBODY
THAT WE SAW

DAY TURN INTO NIGHT
AND NIGHT INTO DAY,

THEY'D THROW US
OUT OF SCHOOL, TOO.

SO MAYBE TRACY
DID SEE GOD.

MAYBE YOU'RE SEEING HIM
RIGHT NOW.

MAYBE YOU'RE NOT.

THINK ABOUT IT.

GIVE IT
SOME THOUGHT.

[GASP]

[GASP]

[GASP]

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE US,

WE'RE GOING TO
TAKE TRACY HOME NOW.

WE'VE GOT TO GET HER
READY FOR SCHOOL
IN THE MORNING.

COME ON, BABY.

AHEM.

I, UH...

I DON'T KNOW, UH,
WHETHER ANY OF US HERE

UNDERSTAND WHAT, UH...

WHAT--WHAT
REALLY HAPPENED HERE,

BUT I'M
INCLINED TO THINK

THAT IT MIGHT BE
A VERY GOOD IDEA

IF WE KEEP IT
TO OURSELVES.

YEAH.

YEAH.

YEAH.

VERY WELL, THEN...

THE CASE OF TRACY RICHARDS
IS CLOSED.

THANK GOD.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

TO THE THREE OF US.

HOW ABOUT
A LITTLE KISS, HUH?

THANK YOU.

HOW ABOUT ONE
OVER HERE?

WITH PLEASURE.

RECONCILIATIONS
ARE MORE FUN
THAN WEDDINGS.

EXCUSE ME.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

WHERE YOU GOING?

JUST TO THE LOUNGE
FOR A SECOND.

AH.

DON'T BE TOO LONG.

YOUR EGG FOO YUNG
WILL GET COLD.

OK.

COME IN, TRACY.

I WAS WAITING
FOR THE DOOR TO OPEN
BY ITSELF.

SORRY. I FORGOT.

YOU SEE, TRACY,
EVERYTHING WORKED OUT.

IT SURE DID.

IT'S NEAT THE WAY
YOU GOT MY PARENTS
TOGETHER AGAIN.

NO, NO. THEY DID THAT
BY THEMSELVES.

AW, I BET
YOU ARRANGED
THE WHOLE THING.

HONEST TO ME,
I DIDN'T.

TRACY, THE REASON
I CALLED YOU--

I WANT TO THANK YOU
AND ALL THE CHILDREN

FOR THE WONDERFUL JOB
YOU DID.

WILL I EVER
SEE YOU AGAIN?

IF I EVER HAVE
A REAL BIG PROBLEM,

YOU'LL BE THE FIRST ONE
I'LL CALL.

YOU WON'T NEED ME.
YOU'RE GOD.

YOU DON'T NEED
ANYBODY.

GOD NEEDS EVERYONE.

I NEED ALL THE HELP
I CAN GET.

GOODBYE, TRACY.

GO AHEAD, TRACY.

THERE'S NOTHING WORSE
THAN COLD EGG FOO YUNG.