Offside (2006) - full transcript

Sure she went to the game?

If she didn't, how did her brothers know?

God knows what they'll do to find her.

I hope I find her before they do.

They'll kill her.

You'll find her.

Excuse me.

That's all right.

Can you catch up with that minibus, please?

Go on, make it stop.

Thank you.



- Quick, block his way!
- Wait a minute.

Hey, tell him to stop.

Tell him to stop.

Cut him off. Thanks. Here's good.

The door is stuck.

Thanks. I won't be long.

Get in. Come on, get in.

What're you playing at?

What's going on? What do you want?

I went to pick up my daughter from school.

They said she went to the stadium.

- Don't you want to go there?
- Yes, I need to find her.

- Get in quick.
- You're going?

- Get in.
- Thanks.



- Sit down.
- Thanks.

- What happened?
- I'm looking for my daughter.

See if she's in that bus.

Long live Iran!

Down with Bahrain!

Take a look.

- At who?
- Her.

- So?
- She's a girl, dummy.

None of your business.

- Did you know she was a girl?
- Yes, but I kept quiet.

When you see a girl you lose it.

Forget her or you'll screw up her plan.

- Keep cool and she'll get in.
- Yeah, sure!

As if her dad owned the stadium!

Know what'll happen if they bust her?

Come here.

See that minibus?

- Yeah, so?
- Look at the back.

They're both girls.

- You're joking.
- I swear.

They're pros. They know how to get in.

They know all the tricks.

But she's a first-timer.

Calm down!

What's got into you?

What's going on?

I'll dump you on the side of the road.

You can walk to the stadium!

Smash whatever you like. I'll call the police.

The driver's gone, guys. Get him!

Please come back, mister.
We'll never get there in time!

Please be so good as to come back, sir.

It was my fault. I apologize.

We're gonna miss the game.

Come back, guys. Come back.

We're late. Come back.

- What do you want?
- Nothing.

Stop staring or they'll spot me.
It's hard enough as it is.

You'll mess up my plan.

I hope you get in. Honestly.

Keep your voice down.

Don't worry,
I'll help you if there's any trouble.

Stop acting the hero. I know how to get in.

You'll never make it.

There are cops all over the place today.

Everyone can see

you look like a total girl.

Well done, driver! Well done!

Say a blessing for his health.

God bless the Prophet

and all his descendants.

Excuse me, sir, I didn't mean to offend you.

Let's just forget it.

I'm used to it. Reza here has a bad temper.

I just wondered if you were
going inside in that state.

Why?

You could've watched the game at home.

But the stadium is something else.

You shout, you sing, you go with the flow.

But best of all,

you can curse everything and everyone,

say whatever you like,
and no one bothers you.

So, you're not a real fan, then!

You're such a gentleman.

Be quiet. I'll tell you a good joke.

OK, I won't, then.
I know we have to be respectful.

We want the joke! Come on.

Forget the joke.

Who has an extra ticket?

- Come on, I need a ticket!
- I need a ticket.

Want it? I can't lower the price.

4,500 and no more.

5,000. Take it or leave it.

OK, I'll take it.

Don't tell anyone where you got it.
Who do you want? Ali Karimi?

300 tomans.

I want a ticket.

What are you doing here?

Get lost or I'll be in trouble.

- Go away.
- You just sold one to him.

So what? I'm not selling you one.

- I'd get into trouble.
- No one will know.

I won't let you go into a crowd of men!

I'm no bastard. You could be my sister.

How about 6,000?

How will you get past the police?

Know what they'll do if they catch you?

Give me the ticket. I'll manage.

8,000.

- Hurry up!
- OK.

Here.

Where are you going?

You gotta buy the poster, too.

I don't want your poster.

No poster, no ticket.

- Alright.
- 500 tomans.

- You said 300.
- Now it's 500.

Where are you going? Stop.

What're you doing here?

Hold your tickets up.

Hurry up!

Hold your tickets up.

Please don't search me.

Why did you come in?

Can you come here, please?

Who let you in?

Hey, come back.

Get her!

Stop! Why did you come in
without permission?

The officer told you to stop.
Don't stand here.

Go on.

Hurry up.

Let me in. I'll blend in with the crowd.
No one'll notice me.

- No way.
- Please let me go in.

No way. Move it.

What difference will it make?
No one'll know.

'Course they will.
The chief has a list with everyone's name.

Hey, give that to me!

Let me at least phone my parents.

It's not allowed.

- Okay, I'll turn it off.
- Give it to me.

I won't use it. I'll take the battery out.

Can I make a call on your mobile?

Thank you.

Can you step back a bit, please?

Hi, how are you doing?

What are you doing?

I'm OK, thanks.

Are your parents home?

Where are they?

Oh, did your dad tell you
he saw me last night?

No, on the street corner.

He seemed angry.

He saw me next to your place.

He gave me a dirty look. I thought maybe...

Alright.

I'll call you from the base. Bye.

- Thank you.
- Can I call now?

- No.
- To let them know.

Just give me that.

Please let me call them.

Who can that be?

Hello.

Who do you want?

- It's for you, soldier.
- For me? Who is it?

Why did you call back?

Of course not.

I swear I'm at the stadium.

She's a prisoner.

I swear to God.

Can't you hear the crowd?

Don't start that again.

No, of course not.

Forget Farideh.

Farideh's ancient history.

I'll call you from the base. Bye.

Why turn it off? I want to make a call.

She'll call again. I can't shake her off.

- What about the battery?
- I'll give it to you later.

What are you doing here?

Get in. Stop making trouble.

She's all yours.

In you go.

What're you waiting for?

- Has the game started?
- How should I know? Go and see.

You stand there and you two here.

Please let me go.

Where to? The game is just starting.

Get over there.

Let us see the game.
Then we'll go where you like.

I said, get over there.

Let me go. I can't stand it any longer.

I told you to go over there.

- Is he from your hometown?
- No, he's from Mashhad.

Want a cigarette?

I don't smoke, thanks.

How long do you have to serve?

4 months.

You're lucky.
I have 18 months and 8 days left.

Here's her battery.

Bye.

Where are you going? Wait!

Let us in!

Not this side.

Please let us in. We bought tickets.

Go to the other side.

What're you looking at? Move along.

You can see the gate's closed.

Get going.

Why are you crying?

You're not a child. What's wrong?

- I've lost my uncle.
- Where?

- In there.
- You were in there and came out?

I lost him when we were about to sit down.

I looked, but couldn't find him.

I asked this soldier for help.

He said he couldn't do anything
and sent me here.

Now I can't get back in.

You deserve it.

What can I do now?

I've had enough.

You'll have to wait for the chief.

When'll that be?

- Get over there.
- I'll be gone 5 minutes.

Don't you trust me?

I'll go with this soldier.

I said, get over there.

- Here's another one.
- What am I to do?

- Is she a girl?
- What would you prefer?

In you go.

Hello.

- Were you in the stadium?
- Silence!

It's hell in there.

What's the score?

None of your business.

Go sit there.

Why are you crying?

- Is it over?
- No way.

100 women in white scarves are at the gate.

They aren't allowed in.

I was told to stay here.

Hey, put that out!

- Why do you keep yelling?
- I said, put it out.

- No smoking here.
- Is smoking a crime, too?

You can't smoke here. Go home to smoke.

- OK, I will.
- Put it out.

- I'll smoke at home.
- What a pain in the arse!

Smoking's not a crime.

Going inside isn't, either. Why can't we?

We have orders.

What happens if we do?

There are lots of men in there.

- So?
- It's obvious.

They'll be cursing and swearing.

We promise not to listen.

A stadium is no place for women.

What happened? Did they score?

Stop dribbling the ball, dammit!

Another corner.

Zandi's taking the corner.

For God's sake, score this time!

Don't dribble! All he can do is dribble!

The goalkeeper's out.

They suck. This is nerve-racking.

Zandi is about to shoot.

Shit! We're so unlucky!

- Missed!
- What about the corner?

He headed it onto the post.

- Who did?
- Khodadad Azizi. Who else?

Bullshit! I was in there.

Khodadad isn't even on the team.

Khodadad hit it! That's bull.

What? It should've gone in.

Khodadad would've scored
if he'd been there.

He deserved to be on the team.

He's an honor to us Mashhadis.
These guys can't play.

Khodadad's the best. He refused to play.

- Look...
- They were unfair to him.

How can he score with his head?
He's so short.

He can do anything.
Don't judge him by his height.

Quiet.

What does his height matter to you?

I should be on leave right now.

It's not up to me
to sign your leave pass, dammit!

I know that.
It's your fault that I'm on duty here.

Why's that?

I'm not like you kids.
Wasting my time like this...

Tell me...

I should be in my village now,
on the farm with my cattle.

My mother's too sick
to take them to pasture.

Our land is parched, the crops are dying.

It was my turn to go on leave.

But because of you, I'm here.

I understand, my friend.

Let me watch the game and I'll be
a slave to you, your mother,

your land, your family,
and your cattle forever.

I'll take your cattle to pasture.

I'll wait on your mother hand and foot.

How lucky to have a slave like that.

Shut up, you shithead!

Look, jerk, you can't scare me
like these peasant boys.

I'll give you a hiding you won't forget.

Leave me alone. She's got a nerve.

She tried to run.

Please understand. I have responsibilities.

I'll be punished.

I know, so why does
that arsehole care so much?

I'll beat his arse so hard,
he won't be able to walk.

I don't want you punished.

But you can't do my job for me.

- Step back.
- Thanks a lot!

I'd love to be in the army.

And be in your shoes
as well as all your friends'.

I swear we don't want you in trouble.

We know you have orders.
But let us watch the game.

Why don't you get it?
I've got responsibilities.

The chief will be here any minute.

He'll see you, freak out and punish me.

Why do you do this just for football?

It's not a life or death matter.

OK, but at least let him
commentate on the game for us.

You won't get into trouble for that.

You'll be happy with his commentary?

You could have stayed home
and watched it on TV.

You got us into this mess.

Well, we're here now.

I had no idea I'd run into Mr. Tough Nuts.

If I can't eat fresh fish,
at least give it to me canned.

I don't get it.
Do you want to eat fish or watch football?

One of you should go back to his position.

And you give them a canned commentary!

I love your attitude!

And don't give us any bullshit!

It's not local radio!

We want facts.
No promoting your local heroes.

- Go on.
- OK...

Mahdavikia is going forward with the ball.

He passes a player,

but he's stopped by two others.

The referee runs toward him.

Let's see if he gets a yellow card.

No, no yellow card.

He's about to do a free kick.

He's behind the ball.

He's got a good opportunity...

But he misses.
The ball's coming back to our end.

Bahrain attacks.

How many of our players are at our end?

Three, with the goalkeeper.

It'll be disastrous if we let one in.

They'll just waste time and not play fair.

Even if it's 0-0, we still go to the World Cup.

Karimi passes the ball to Daei,
who passes it back.

Well played, Karimi!

Karimi dribbles the ball,
but is stopped by a foul!

The referee comes running up.

He holds up a yellow card.

- Come here!
- Stop the commentating.

- Where are you going?
- Toilet. Get it?

There's no women's toilet here.

Isn't there a men's one?

- You want to go to the men's?
- Yes.

- No way.
- Why not?

What devil got into you Tehrani girls?

She wants to be in the army,
you want to go to the men's toilet.

Why don't you get it?
Men and women aren't the same.

It's nearly half-time.

Everyone will want to go then.

Let me go now.

It's not my problem.
You shouldn't have come.

Get back over there.

Do you hear me?

If you don't let me go,

I'll piss all over myself!

Oh, congratulations!
That's real brave of you!

What are you doing? Get back there.

I said, go back over there!

That's enough. Just look at her!

I'm talking to you!

Let me go!

Dammit!

Go on, you take her.

Let's go.

Wait.

Keep an eye on her.

Give me that.

Put this on your face.

What for?

So that no one sees you're a girl.

I can't see where I'm going.

I'll fix that.

Here...

Let's go.

There's no one here.
Let me see where I'm going.

Why did you come?
You'll get us all in trouble.

To watch the game up close.

- Is it so important?
- More important than food to me.

I play football, too.

- Yeah, sure you do!
- Why do you say that?

Oh, no reason. You wanna play here
in front of 100,000 men?

Not here. We play in front of women.

They don't let men in.

What if a man came,
dressed up as a woman?

Men don't dare do such things.
It'll never happen.

Why didn't you use the toilet at home?

It's the stress and anxiety.

I don't really need to pee.

What? So you're having me on.

No, it happens when I play
or watch football.

I can't control it.

That's why football is a man's game.

Actually, our coach says
it's a game for women.

She means big women.
I've seen them on satellite TV.

They look like men.

Kaabi is no Hercules, nor is Khodadad.

They have technique.

I'm a striker.

- Know what a JJ dribble is?
- No.

See? Well, I'm a dribble queen!

- Some queen!
- I was on the team before.

Everyone was amazed, even the foreigners.

You've played abroad?

No, we can't.
The foreigners come here to see us.

If their coach is a man,
can he go in the stadium?

No.

How does he coach his team?

With his mobile from outside.

That's what happened. And they won.

Put that on your face now.

- Who's this?
- My prisoner.

Hurry up.

Be quick!

This way, not that way.

Don't look.

Come on.

This way.

Hurry up.

- Where are you going?
- Now what?

Wait for the others to come out.

No, this way.

Hurry up, sir.

Just a minute.

Be quick.

I'm talking to you. Hurry up.

- What are you doing?
- What's the rush?

Go on, get out!

What are you looking at?

Watch your mouth.

- Where are you going?
- None of your business.

- I need to use the toilet.
- Well, you can't.

Step back.

Go on!

- Hey!
- Why'd you hit me?

Beat it!

Why can't we go in?

Wait a minute. Him first, then you.

There are plenty of toilets here!

I don't get it.

You can't both go in at the same time.

What's the problem?
Everything's impossible for you.

Let me go in, soldier.

Is there anyone in there? Anyone there?

OK, in you go.

- Wait, wait.
- Now what?

- Can you read?
- Sure.

Then put your hand over your eyes. Go on.

I can't see. Why should I do that?

So you can't read.

- Read what?
- The walls.

Why not?

There are things
too dirty for women to read.

Oh, please stop it!

Where are you going?

- To the toilet.
- You can't.

We can't go in. There's a girl in there.

Would you let us in if it were your sister?

She's not my sister. Maybe your chick?

- Shut up!
- Now you're acting like a man!

- Shut up.
- Are you the toilet guard?

I said, shut up.

It's a lousy place for your girl!

You talking to me?

- Shut up!
- We need to use the toilet.

No way. Stay right there.

Hey, look!

Wait right here. Don't move.

I've been shouting for you to come out.
What're you doing?

Are you a girl or a boy?

Come in and I'll show you.

Show it to your mother!

Hey, guys!

Goal, goal!

Not like that. Lower it a bit.

A little bit more.

A little lower.

A bit more. That's it.

Good.

That's it.

- What's up, soldier?
- Grandpa!

Don't be afraid, lad.

What have we done?

- Out... out!
- Why can't we use the toilet?

Get out! Hurry up!

Is it half-time?

Has the whistle blown?

What with the cheering, of course.

Another half, and we'll be going
to the World Cup!

Just imagine! We're on our way to Germany.

You look worried.

Stay out of it. Back off.

I said, back off!

Why do you yell all the time?

I just want a chit-chat.

- What's a "chit-chat"?
- I mean a talk.

Talk? Can't you see
Mashhadi hasn't shown up yet?

I don't know what I'd do if he lost that girl.

My life would be ruined.

Don't worry, she'll come back.
She's very loyal.

You can trust a Tehrani.

Can I ask my question now?

What question?

Why can't women go in there
and sit with the men?

Why are you so stubborn?

Women can't sit with men in the stadium.

Then why could Japanese women
watch the Japan-Iran game here?

They were Japanese.

So, my problem is that I was born in Iran?

If I were born in Japan,
I could watch football?

They don't speak our language.

If the crowd curses and swears,
they won't understand.

So, the swearing is the problem?

No, that's not all.

A man and a woman can't sit together.

Why can they in movie theatres?

That's different.

How is it different? Besides, it's dark.

In Tabriz, women can't sit with men
in cinemas.

Yes, they can. I've done it myself.

- You've been to Tabriz?
- Yes, a few times.

Didn't you get arrested, looking like that?

I'm not crazy. I didn't go like this.

I looked like a lady, not like this.

I wore ladies' clothes.

And I saw women
sitting with men at the movies.

That's not true.

If you saw anything like that,

they were with their families.

Alright!

So, if we come with our brothers
or fathers, you'd let us in?

No, I'm not the boss!

You're yelling again.

We were supposed to talk normally.

So, we can go?

No, you can't.

Why not?

You can't, because your brother,
father, or husband...

Are you married?

No.

It's too soon. I want to study first.

That's good.

I mean, your brother or your father...

To someone else,
they're not their brother or father.

They are relatives to you,
but strange men to others.

Hi.

- Replacing me?
- No, I've got someone for you.

- Why's he handcuffed?
- He's a she.

- At your service.
- Get in there.

Hurry up.

Wow, awesome!

I've seen all kinds, but nothing like this.

- Where did you get the outfit?
- Isn't it cool?

If you add an 'A', you got my name.

That's so cool!

They just don't give a damn.

As if they haven't been arrested!

She kept making fun of me.

She kept trying to run away.

Don't be fooled by her looks.
She's a tricky one.

The chief got mad and had her handcuffed.

She was in the official stands.

In the chief's seat,
with her legs stretched out.

Did you really do that?

Yeah, I felt like I was right on the pitch.
It was awesome.

I only goofed twice. First, I sat in his seat.

Second, I got a soldier's uniform,
not an officer's.

They spotted me and threw me out.
I needed 2 more stars.

Move away, soldier girl.

At least you got to see the first half.

Was Zandi there?

Yes, he played like the foreigners.

And his hair?

I've got a better story.

Some women in white scarves
stood near the Bahraini bus.

So, they had to let 'em in.

Are they watching the game?

They're sitting in the glass room.

The police are keeping an eye on them.

- Take this lot, too.
- We can't.

The women with white scarves
weren't arrested,

lots of foreign journalists
are here for elections.

They don't want unnecessary attention.

They'll be given a hard time.

Won't they keep them here?

No, the chief wants them
transferred to the Vice Squad.

What if we lose one?

We'd be screwed.
We'd be stuck in the army forever.

Why is Mashhadi alone?

Where's the girl, Mahmoud?

- She ran away.
- What?

- The bitch ran away.
- Are you trying to kill me?

What're you doing here?
Go back to your places.

So that was your Tehrani trust?

Remember you talked
about having a chit-chat?

My cattle are more loyal than you.

Get back where you were.

You've ruined my life.

Why are you sitting down? Get up.

Stop laughing.

Soldier...

Excuse me, I'm looking
for the women's section.

I was told it was upstairs.

How the hell should I know where it is?

How could she run away
and get us in this mess?

She escaped in the chaos.

What chaos?

The restroom was crowded. She ran out.

- I told you to keep an eye on her.
- I did.

I've lost my daughter. I was told she's here.

I've searched everywhere.

I've looked all through the crowd.
Up, down, left, right...

I'm exhausted. I was told to ask here.

If you know where she is, please tell me.

There's no women's section.

Please, I'm so tired.

Help me. Do something.

Why did she run away?

Go through there. I'll see what I can do.

She wasn't handcuffed.
I couldn't go into the toilet with her.

She's a girl, not a man!

You're not even capable
of controlling a woman.

- Get off my back.
- You're useless.

Stop snickering.

Hey, soldier girl, go back over there.

Hurry up! Stop smiling!

What on earth can I do? I'm screwed.

I don't know what you should do,
but you're in a real mess.

The chief will give you hell.

When does the second half start?

I won't pay for that jerk's mistakes!

Why didn't you take her?

Shut up. What's this man doing here?

Find a girl to take her place.

If you don't, you're dead meat.

Look, it's not like I can buy one
from the nearest shop.

There are more than just this little lot.

Many others slipped through our net.

Bye now. Keep an eye on soldier girl,
or you're dead.

I'm done for, anyway.

Thought you could get away?

Go to hell!

- On a one-way ticket!
- Do you think you're funny?

What does that man want?

- I told him to come.
- OK.

Look, there's no women's section here.

Those who sneak in are brought here.
Is she there?

- They're all girls?
- Yes.

- All you do is yell.
- What else can I do?

What do I say when the chief comes
and asks for the girl?

You lost her - you find her.

That's all I can say.

How can I?
There are 100,000 people in there.

- What can I do?
- Just find her.

You've got no choice.

- Samandar...
- Don't Samandar me.

I'm your slave,
your donkey's, and your cattle's.

Look, just drop it, will you?

I'll tell the chief myself
that she ran away from me.

I'll say it's all my fault, OK?

But don't yell at me!

Are you really going to tell the chief
it was your fault?

As men, we can't admit this!

I'll tell the truth.
It won't make any difference,

adding an escaped prisoner to the list.

Why don't you understand?
They're not prisoners.

I didn't arrest them.
Someone else will imprison them.

We're like their brothers,
fathers, husbands...

Not husbands - their brothers and fathers.

Do me a favor: take off these handcuffs.

Good grief!

What should I do? Keep an eye on them?

Samandar, it's all my fault.

Don't yell at me. I'm not in the mood.

Do you really know how I feel?

Look up, so I can see your face.

I'm talking to you. Step forward.

Hello.

Is that you, Akram?

What's this get-up? Where's Maryam?

Maryam's inside.

I've told you to leave her alone.
You need slapping!

What're you doing? You don't hit a woman.

- Stay out of it.
- What are you doing?

- I have to punish her.
- Punish her?

If you slap her,
she won't come home tomorrow.

- I forbade her...
- "Forbade"!

You can't keep her locked up.

- What are these ideas?
- You locked her up!

Look, we have orders.

I have to do it. It's my duty.

Out of my way.

Get him out of here. Take him away!

Is this what you call going to college?

Is this what you call studying?

I work hard to pay for your studies,

so you'll have a future.

This is how you treat me?

You call this studying?

Get off me!

Samandar, she's coming.

Where were you?

Come before the chief comes
and gives us hell.

I don't want him to make a big fuss.

Is she the one who ran away?

- Is she new?
- Why did you come back?

Why did you come back?

I felt sorry for his cattle.

You came back for him?

- I don't believe it.
- Drop it.

- Were you inside?
- Yeah.

- Where?
- Behind the goal.

- My seat was better.
- Where?

The official stands.

So, the game?

If we ease off, they'll fight back and score.

We've got no defense. It's a disaster.

- Nothing happened to you?
- No.

They didn't bother you?

Tell us more.

They all ran to Bahrain's goal

and back again for nothing.

Forget Germany.

- But why?
- I'll tell you why.

OK, suppose this is the field.

We'll draw a line to divide it in two.

This side's Iran, the other Bahrain.

You're Kaabi - you're his size.

You go here as a defender.

No, come this side.

Her back's turned, like our defense.

That's where the action is. You stand there.

You can be Zandi.

- But my hair's short!
- You look foreign.

- You...
- Nekounam.

OK, good.

- He just shoots.
- Says who?

I know, I was in there.
Take off your chador and be Mahdavikia.

Why?

Come on.

She's right. Come here.

- I want to be Zandi.
- OK.

- So I'm Zandi?
- Yes.

- You sure you were in there?
- Sure.

And this mean soldier can be Ali Daei.

Come here.

No, you stay outside.

You're Hashemian.

Daei and Hashemian are together
at the back. They seem happy.

What's the coach doing?

Nothing. I don't understand
if it's a 4-4-2 or a 4-3-3.

Soldier?

- Yes, sir.
- What do I do now?

You heard this girl say
your daughter's in there.

Go look for her.

You heard...

Your colleague said
you couldn't find anyone in that crowd.

So, how could an old man like me find her?

Go home.
Your daughter will show up after the game.

How can I go home?

By the time I get there, it'll be dark.

She's never come home so late.

Let me take her with me to look.

Maybe she'll find her.

She can't go in looking like that.

So, let me go home with Akram.
Her father's a respectable man.

In our neighborhood,
people swear on his name.

To preserve his dignity,
let me take her home.

I can't. They're all on the list.
Otherwise I would've let her go.

Go on home.

Later on, the Vice Squad will contact
their families to come pick them up.

Best not stay here. Go inside and get her.

Don't worry, you'll find her.

Mashhadi, hurry! The game's started again.

Kaabi has the ball.

Run and pass the ball, Kaabi!

Kaabi dribbles it past an opponent.

Go on, Kaabi, for God's sake!

Shit, they fouled!

What'll the ref do? No yellow card.

Mahdavikia and Zandi are behind the ball.

Zandi goes for it.

Zandi passes the ball to Nosrati.

Long live Iran!

Down with Bahrain!

Be quiet!

Quiet!

What's going on here?

Have you left your post to watch the game?

Stop clowning around.

- Get on the bus, one by one.
- OK, chief. One by one.

Keep your heads down.

Look at the ground.

The crowd will be pouring out in a minute.

Sir, I can't go home in this state.

Can you take these off?

Home? With your record? No way!
Get in and keep your head down.

Tell that bastard to get out.
I want a word with him.

Yes, sir.

May I go watch
the last minutes of the game?

What? No, we've got things to do.

Search every orifice.
Confiscate anything as small as a match.

But why?

It's degrading, chief.

You haul me out of every game.
I don't have any firecrackers.

I swear I don't have any.

What are these, then?

I don't know. These are my brother's pants.

He put them there.
I don't know what they are.

I swear I don't.

I'm ticklish. That hurts.

What's that?

Those things are dangerous.

They're for personal use, I swear.

I wanted to use them after the game.

In the street. Just for myself.

Take him in. Tell the chief

that his parents can't pay
his bail for him any more.

Off you go and don't stop anywhere.

Chief!

You can arrest me. Fine.

But don't put me with the chicks.

Imagine the shame if anyone sees me.
It's so degrading.

Hey, stop crying.

I thought I was up against a tough cookie.

What's wrong?

What're you talking about?
You heard the chief.

My case is more serious
because of the uniform.

- I'll be court-martialed.
- Court-martialed!

No, at worst it'll be the Vice Squad.

They're not going to kill us.

You're the ones who'll go to the Vice Squad!

Thank God it wasn't an officer's uniform,
or I'd be executed.

Stop wailing!
It's embarrassing in front of everyone.

Out of the way!

Can you turn on the radio
to hear what the score is?

I can't stand these chicks
blubbering and clucking.

Calling me a chick?

Back off, chick.
You got a long way to become a chicken.

Yes, I'm a chick, so?

I'll show him.

He has to learn how to talk in front of ladies.

Do you understand, idiot?

Shut up! Just keep on crying.

What's all this noise?
You're fighting like cocks.

God, when will I be rid of you?

- Stop it, or I'll hit you.
- Go ahead and try.

You know, when my father was alive,

he hit me and said, "Shut up, dummy."

After he died, everyone hit me,
"Shut up orphan!"

Truth is, people hit me whenever they like.

Go ahead and hit me. Go on.

Treat me like all the others.

Just grin and bear it for a while.

Be quiet, don't go looking for trouble.

My head feels more like a football.

Kicked and punched...

Then stop all this acting and self-pity.

Show some respect for other people!

Turn the radio on, to hear the score.

She's right. Just chill out a bit.

Turn the radio on.
Let's see what the score is.

- Turn the radio on.
- The antenna doesn't work.

You heard, the aerial isn't working.
Sit down.

OK, cool it.

Why are you sitting next to a girl?
There's lots of room.

Get up.

I just want to have a chit-chat.

So, why were you fighting just now?

OK, OK.

When will I get rid of them?
I've had enough.

Give me a cigarette.

Not on your life!

What's life got to do with a cigarette?

Kids shouldn't smoke.
Go do your homework.

So it's OK for kids to be beaten,
but not to smoke?

I won't give you a cigarette even if you beg.

No smoking, no firecrackers,
no fun in the stadium.

Might as well die!
So, this bus is our hearse. Amen!

Give me a cigarette.
I want to tell you something.

Sorry, I finished the pack.

Tell me, girl, I beg you...

What's written
on my bright red, smooth forehead?

Say it.

I know.

It says, "The king of shit mountain!"

This isn't news, so why are you so upset?

Let me tell you.

Remember November 8, years ago?

The year Iran went to the World Cup.

Everyone had a great time in the street.

And my father locked me in the basement.

Iran's going to qualify again,

and they stuck us in this bus

to take us to the Vice Squad.

But let me tell you something.

I'll always get my way.

Stop here, driver.

We're at my place.

Tell him to stop, soldier.

Stop here. I'll see what she wants.

- I'm going.
- Where to?

Bye, girls. Open the door, soldier.

Stop saying you want to get off.

See that green light?
I live there. I can cross the street.

I can't just let you go.

I'm not joking. I live right there.

It's true. She lives there.
You'll have her mother's blessing.

Let's get an award
for bringing her smart kid back.

She's made a nice dinner.

We can all watch the end of the game.

Where are you going?

What dinner? What game?
I'm taking you to the Vice Squad.

"Let's go to my place"!

Don't be so tough, soldier. Let her go.

You know that I can't do that.

I'm responsible. Your names are on the list.

If I lose one of you, I'll be in trouble.

We know!

Your farm, your cattle,
your mum, your penalties...

Sweetie, listen to me...

How can you leave us
for your tiresome cousins?

We're all charming, warm,
welcoming, and into football.

We're already invited to dinner
by the Vice Squad gentlemen.

Just imagine we're going to a hotel.
C'mon, let's go.

But my parents will worry.

Never mind them.
Think about your poor uncle.

You can't let us down now.

If they don't court-martial me,
we can chat all night.

Start early at the Vice Squad,
so your folks get used to it!

I'm really thirsty.

Let me go get some water.

I'm thirsty.

I'll get it. You sit down.

Everyone, stay still!

Drinks all round, girls!

Here's to Khodadad!

Too much interference.

We can't hear a thing.

What're you doing, soldier? Try a bit harder.

I can't stay like that forever.

We'll be there any minute.

What're you doing?

There are almost 80,000
enthusiastic spectators

in Azadi Stadium.

The referee has just blown his whistle.

3 minutes' extra time.

Guys, only 3 minutes left!

In 3 minutes' time, Iran...

could qualify for the 2006 World Cup.

The Bahraini players are midfield.

Two Bahraini players approach
Iran's penalty area.

They face Mirzapour, Iran's goalkeeper.

The assistant referee raises his flag.

He comes from China.

The players were offside.

Outside the penalty area,

Kameli Mofrad kicks the ball
to Ali Daei, but...

...Bahrain's team... Kameli Mofrad...

To Mirzapour...
Issa Gholam poses a threat to Iran...

The ball is kicked across the pitch

and goes out to the left
of the Iranian goalmouth.

2 minutes left!

Girls, only 2 minutes left!

The atmosphere is electric at the stadium.

Quiet, girls. I've found the right spot.

Stay where you are. The game's nearly over.

That's it, I fixed it.

It works now.

I swear I fixed it.

Kameli Mofrad kicks the ball hard.

It lands in the Bahraini half.

Ali Daei heads it. Issa Gholam recovers it.

Now Mahdavikia gets it, but he fouls.

Off it goes again.
The ball lands behind Mahdavikia.

Mahdavikia dodges the opposition.

Well played!

That saves us time. Perfect!

We're now into the final seconds.

Play continues.

Everyone's waiting for the referee
to blow his whistle.

It's all over for the Bahrainis now.

Iran wins 1-0
and goes through to Germany 2006!

- What?
- We're going to the World Cup!

Didn't I tell you
to search the bastard thoroughly?

Forget it. Let's just celebrate.

We're through to the World Cup!

They really scared me!

We're going to the World Cup!

Why are you crying?

Quiet!

Why are you crying?

- Nothing important.
- We qualified.

If you're not into football,
why did you go to the stadium?

- I came for his sake.
- Who does she mean?

My friend was one of the 7
killed in the Japan-Iran game.

He would've gone if he were still alive.

That doesn't matter.

- Celebrate in his place.
- He would've done the same.

I felt sad, all of a sudden.

Think of the World Cup.

Make way!

For you, in memory of your friend.

Come here, young man.

Are you talking to me?

Would you do me a favor?

I'll do whatever I can to help.

Could I have 7 sparklers?

Is that all? I thought you wanted
a tank, a bazooka or a Kalashnikov.

Do you need anything else?
You sure you don't?

Which one of these do you want?

These.

Take these, too.

No, thanks. Are there 7?
Where do you find these?

I can't reveal my sources.

Long live the driver!

Open the door. Hello.

Get out!

Help yourself.

I said, get out. Hurry up!

The soldier has to dance!

Everybody, out!

What do I do with these handcuffs?

Take the key and unlock them!

Quick!

O Iran, our jeweled country

Your land is the wellspring of art

Let the devil's thoughts be far from you

May your lasting be eternal...