Office Killer (1997) - full transcript

When Dorine Douglas' job as proofreader for Constant Consumer Magazine is turned into an at-home position during a downsizing, she doesn't know how to cope, but after accidentally killing one of her co-workers, she discovers that murder can quench the loneliness of her home life, as a macabre office place forms in her basement, populated by dead co-workers.

[ Phones Ringing ]

[ Elevator Bell Dings ]

[ Woman Narrating ]
AT CONSTANT CONSUMER MAGAZINE,

THERE IS
BUT ONE CONSTANT RULE:
[ People Chattering ]

GET THE JOB DONE.

THIS CAN BE HAZARDOUS, HOWEVER,
WHEN THE LAWS OF ECONOMICS
AFFECT OUR WORKPLACE...

AND THREATEN TO DOWNSIZE US.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO CANNOT
KEEP PACE WITH SUCH CHANGES,
BE FOREWARNED:
AND THREATEN TO DOWNSIZE US.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO CANNOT
KEEP PACE WITH SUCH CHANGES,
BE FOREWARNED:

[ Grunting ]
YOU WILL BE TERMINATED.

[ Man ]
SORRY. I'M SORRY.



[ Woman ]
HI. IS SHE THERE ?
YEAH.

YOU SAW HER ?
YEAH.
AND TODAY'S THE BIG DAY.

WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD ?
WHAT ?

YOU HEARD ANYTHING ?
OH, EVERYBODY'S
BEEN SAYIN' A THIRD,

[ Phone Ringing ]
BUT TODAY,
I'M TALKIN' TO JANICE,

SHE TELLS ME
SHE HEARD HALF.
DID SHE ?

HOLD ON. CONSTANT CONSUMER.
HOLD, PLEASE.
[ Woman ] SHE'S WRONG.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT ?
HALF ? IT'S A MASSACRE.

NORAH, SHUT THE DOOR.
I'VE GOT A 4:00
WITH TED AND NAOMI.

GO AHEAD
AND DISTRIBUTE THEM
ON YOUR WAY OUT.

NO. YOU CRAWL OUT THERE
AND DO THE DIRTY WORK,
VIRGINIA.

I'M THE ONE
DRAGGING THIS MAGAZINE
OUT OF THE STONE AGE.

YOU'D BE
OUT OF BUSINESS
IF IT WASN'T FOR ME.

MM-MM.
[ Laughing ]



NORAH, I NEVER CRAWL.

AND YOU'RE SPITTING GERMS
IN MY FACE.

NOW, LISTEN, SWEETIE.

JUST BECAUSE YOU KNOW...

A THING OR TWO
ABOUT COMPUTERS
AND OFFICE DOWNSIZING,

THAT DOESN'T MEAN
THAT YOU KNOW SHIT
ABOUT RUNNING A MAGAZINE.

NOW TAKE A FEW DROPS
OF ECHINACEA GOLDENSEAL.

IT'LL KNOCK THAT COLD
RIGHT OUT OF YOU,

AND THEN GET OUT THERE
AND DROP THE AX !

[ Phones Ringing ]

DORINE.
OH, I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT.

UH, KATE THOUGHT THAT,
OF COURSE, YOU WOULD KNOW
THE PROPER USE OF--

THIRD PARAGRAPH.

"WHICH."
WHAT ?

"WHICH" IS CORRECT,
NOT "THAT,"

AND THERE'S A SPLIT INFINITIVE
IN SENTENCE TWO, PARAGRAPH ONE.
"WHICH" IS CORRECT,
NOT "THAT,"

AND THERE'S A SPLIT INFINITIVE
IN SENTENCE TWO, PARAGRAPH ONE.

WOW.
THANKS, DORINE.

[ Phone Ringing ]

[ Coughing ]
[ Woman ]
HEY, TRAMP, GET OVER HERE.
[ Phone Ringing ]

[ Coughing ]
[ Woman ]
HEY, TRAMP, GET OVER HERE.

DANIEL CALLED.

OH.
[ Sniffling ]
WHAT'S WITH YOU ?

I THINK I'M GETTING
YOUR COLD, THANK YOU,

AND THE NICOTINE QUEEN...

IS MAKING ME DO
ALL THE DIRTY WORK.

FIRST OF ALL,
IT'S NOT MY COLD.
IT'S GARY'S.

AND IT'S YOU
WHO WANTED THIS BIG JOB,
SO BUCK UP, BABY.

DON'T TOUCH ME.
OH, GET OVER IT.

NICE EYE SHADOW,
CLUMPY.
NICE SUIT.

OH.

RESEARCH HAS BEEN DECIMATED.
THEY'VE GOT THREE
FULL-TIMERS LEFT.

EVERYBODY ELSE HAS BEEN
BUMPED TO FREELANCE,

AND NORAH IS WA--
EXCUSE ME.

- GEE, WHAT YOU
GOT THERE, NORAH ?
- WHAT IS THIS ?

AH, IT'S ALL
THE DOWNSIZING INFORMATION.

HERE ARE THE MEMOS
ABOUT BENEFIT ADJUSTMENTS,

SCHEDULES OF TIMES AND DATES
OF HOME OFFICE INSTALLATIONS...

AND THEN THERE ARE
A BUNCH OF...
[ Sighs ]

THESE TO HAND OUT,
IF YOU WANT TO.

OR IF YOU
WANT ME TO, I--
BE MY GUEST.

FINE.
KATE STEIN.

SO, VIRGINIA COULDN'T EVEN
TELL US IN PERSON ?

[ Sighing ]
D-- DORINE DOUGLAS.

[ Man ]
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY,
THEY HAVEN'T FIRED US YET.

WE'RE JUST GONNA BE
PART-TIME NOW.

SO LET'S GET BACK TO WORK.

[ Phones Ringing,
People Chattering ]

THERE YOU ARE,
MR. LANDAU.
THANK YOU, DORI.

THIS IS--
OVEN CLEANERS.

GREAT. OKAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT ?
THIS HAS TO GO BACK TO
THE WRITERS AND EDITORIAL.

DO YOU MIND
MAKING COPIES ?
NOT AT ALL, SIR.

OH, UH, DORINE--
YES, SIR.

YOU PROBABLY
WANNA LOOK AT THIS.
OH, THANK YOU.

[ Printer Printing ]

[ Modem Screeching ]

[ Buzzes ]

[ Screams ]
[ Tube Thuds ]

[ Crying ]

MS. DAVIS.
DOUGLAS.

MS. DAVIS.
DOUGLAS, DOUGLAS.

UH, WELL, I'VE GOT AN--
I'VE GOT AN EXTRA JACKET
AT MY DESK, IF YOU WANT.

[ Crying Continues ]
OH. HERE, HERE,
HERE, HERE.

HERE. WIPE THAT STUFF OFF.
IT'S PROBABLY TOXIC.

[ Sighs ]

THANK YOU.
HERE.

[ Woman ]
LOOK, NORAH. NO ONE EVER SAID
YOU WERE GONNA TO BE POPULAR...

AFTER YOU JOINED
THE FIRING SQUAD,
SO GET OVER IT ALREADY.

THAT'S THE PRICE FOR PROMOTION.
DIDN'T THAT FANCY COLLEGE
TEACH YOU ANYTHING ?

AND YOU,
YOU SHOULD BE THANKING ME.

OTHERWISE YOU'D BE HERE
ALL NIGHT, LOOKING AT
THIS STRESSED-OUT LITTLE FACE.

I AM NOT STRESSED OUT, KIM.

[ Clears Throat ]
YOU PEOPLE SHOULD THANK ME
YOU STILL HAVE YOUR JOBS.

- "YOU PEOPLE" ?
- LIGHTEN UP, HON.

YOU STILL HAVE YOUR JOB,
DON'T YOU ?

I SAW THAT DORINE WOMAN
ON MY WAY OUT.
SHE WAS WRECKED.

OH, PLEASE,
THAT FREAKY LITTLE MOUSE.

OH, SHE'S SO WEIRD.
IT'S LIKE HER WHOLE LIFE
JUST REVOLVES AROUND HER WORK...

AND HER NOT-SO-SECRET CRUSH
ON MR. LANDAU.

- IT'S PATHETIC.
- EXCUSE ME, GUYS.

I'M HERE TOO. HOW ABOUT
CELEBRATING THE FACT THAT I WILL
BE IN THE OFFICE TOMORROW ?

- YOU'RE GONNA BE
IN THE OFFICE TOMORROW ?
- I HAVE COMPUTER INVENTORY...

AND THEN THREE HOME UNIT
INSTALLATIONS A DAY.

NORAH'S MY NEW BOSS.
OH, WELL,
THAT'S CONVENIENT.

SO NOW THAT YOU'RE SO RICH,
BUY ME A DRINK.

OH.
WHAT TIME IS IT ?
SO NOW THAT YOU'RE SO RICH,
BUY ME A DRINK.

OH.
WHAT TIME IS IT ?

OH, MAN.

OH, CHRIST.

[ Steam Hissing ]

[ Dog Barking
In The Distance ]

HEY.
[ Meowing ]

HEY, JUMBO.
THERE YOU GO.

THERE YOU GO.
OKAY.

[ Clears Throat ]
ALL RIGHTY.

[ Meowing Continues ]
[ Clock Ticking ]

[ Water Running ]

[ Garbage Disposal
Whirring ]

[ Buzzing ]
[ Man On Television ] I'LL TRY
ANYTHING TO BRING HELEN BACK.

DORINE !
[ Dorine ]
I'M COMING.

MOM, I'M COMING.

I'M COMING NOW
TO MAKE TEA !

OH, DORINE !
YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE
THE CATS UP HERE.

YOU'RE JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER.
I HAVE TO REPEAT EVERYTHING.
[ Man ] THIS IS ALL MY FAULT.

YOU MUSTN'T BLAME YOURSELF.
[ Mother ]
YOU STAY THERE

[ Nurse ]
YOU COULDN'T HAVE KNOWN
THIS WOULD HAPPEN.

I NEED YOU TO BE STRONG NOW.
OH, LEAVE THAT ON !

[ Mother ]
I LOVE THEM.

- JEEVIS AND BUFFY DEE.
- MMM.

[ Jeevis ]
...ACTUAL CHEF
OF THE FAMOUS BISTRO FRANCAIS...

RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN STUDIO.
I'M GONNA GET TO WATCH THEM
A LOT MORE NOW, MAMA.
[ Jeevis ]
...ACTUAL CHEF
OF THE FAMOUS BISTRO FRANCAIS...

RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN STUDIO.
I'M GONNA GET TO WATCH THEM
A LOT MORE NOW, MAMA.

[ Buffy Dee ]
JOIN THE CULINARY FUN.
SOUNDS DELICIOUS.

[ Jeevis ]
WE'LL TRAVEL WITH OUR FAVORITE
TRAVEL CORRESPONDENT, LINDA LOU,

AND VISIT THE EXOTIC--
I'M GOING TO BE WORKING
AT HOME NOW, MAMA.

OH, DORI !
WE'LL BE ABLE TO SPEND
MORE TIME TOGETHER.

[ Buffy Dee ]
MAKE ONE IN YOUR OWN KITCHEN.

AND, YOU KNOW,
THIS OLD HOUSE
COULD USE SOME WORK.

[ Jeevis ]
BUFFY DEE, LET'S SPIN THE RANDOM
WINNER SELECTION BARREL.

[ Cat Meowing ]
[ Buffy Dee ] AND THE WINNER OF
THE SMILE OF THE DAY DRAWING...

WHO WILL LEAVE THE SHOW TODAY--
DON'T FORGET TO LEAVE
MY CHAIR ON.

[ Dorine Narrating ]
IT IS TRUE...

THAT TO LIVE INSIDE A WARM
AND NURTURING ENVIRONMENT...

IS EVERYBODY'S DREAM,

BUT AS WE GROW UP,
WE ALSO NEED TO EXPERIENCE...

INDEPENDENCE AND ADVENTURE.

THAT IS THE KEY TO A SUCCESSFUL
MOTHER-DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP.

[ Glasses Clinking ]

GOOD MORNING, KIM.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.

I'M SORRY I DIDN'T STAY
LAST NIGHT.
YEAH, ME TOO.

[ Keys Jangling ]

[ Man ]
WHAT ?

EXCUSE ME.

[ Door Closes ]
[ Sighs ]
OH, I HATE HER.

[ Mumbling ]
ALL RIGHT, GANG,

MY LAPTOP MAINTENANCE ARTICLE
IS FINALLY IN THE SYSTEM.

I NEED THIS BACK TONIGHT,
SO CHOP-CHOP.

COME ON, GARY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS,
McDONALD'S OR SOMETHING ?

LOOK, IT'S THE COVER STORY.
IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN, THIS IS
WHAT WE DO FOR A LIVING.

SO WHO GETS IT ?
THIS MAY COME
AS A SHOCK TO YOU,

BUT THE COPY DEPARTMENT
DOES NOT WORK FOR YOU.

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO COEXIST
AROUND HERE WITH A MODICUM
OF MUTUAL RESPECT.
FINE.

WHATEVER.
MY HEART IS BURSTING
WITH FRATERNAL GOODWILL.

I LOVE YOU ALL, OKAY ?

GET AWAY FROM ME,
AND DON'T KISS ANYBODY.

HALF THE OFFICE
HAS YOUR COLD AS IT IS,
MYSELF INCLUDED.

I GOTTA GET THIS BACK
TONIGHT, PLEASE.

THE FUTURE IS HERE.
[ Landau ] YOU DON'T KNOW
WHEN TO LET UP, DO YOU ?

AT LAST.
ACTUALLY,
THIS IS AN OLD FUTURE.

THIS STUFF WAS CUTTING EDGE
LIKE TWO YEARS AGO.

SHH ! NOT SO LOUD, DANIEL.
THIS STUFF IS JUST FINE.

MOST OF THEM ARE PRACTICALLY
COMPUTER ILLITERATE ANYWAY.
[ Door Opens ]

- WHATEVER YOU SAY.
- SO, WHO'S THE FIRST VICTIM ?

WE HAVE, FIRST, KATE,
THEN STEVE.

I HAVE TO VISIT
THAT WOMAN, DORINE DOUGLAS.
OH, YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND.

[ Chuckling ]
DANIEL, YOU SHOULD GO.

ALL RIGHT, SEE YA.
BYE, HONEY.
FEEL BETTER.

THANK YOU.

- OH, DANIEL, CATCH !
- JESUS, NORAH.

- SORRY. DON'T FORGET TO
TURN IT ON IN CASE I NEED YOU.
- OKAY.

[ Pager Beeping ]

[ Landau ]
YOU TOOK THE COMPUTER TUTORIAL,
RIGHT, DORINE ?

MM-HMM.
OKAY.

[ Printer Printing ]

THIS ISN'T A PROBLEM,
IS IT ?
NO, SIR, NOT AT ALL.

[ Keyboard Keys Clicking ]
[ Whispering ]
OKAY.

NOW, IF YOU RUN
INTO ANY SNAGS,

THE MANUAL
IS VERY USEFUL.
MM.

THE PROGRAM'S NOT THAT DIFFERENT
FROM THE OLD PROGRAM.
MM-HMM.

YOU OKAY ?
YES, SIR.

THANK YOU, DORINE.
MM.

[ Keyboard Keys Clicking ]

[ Computer Buzzing ]

[ Buzzing Continues ]

[ Hitting Keyboard ]

[ Buzzing Continues ]

[ Knocking ]

MR. MICHAELS, SIR,
IT'S JUST ME HERE...

AND THE COMPUTER
WON'T STOP BUZZING.

SHOCKING.
WHATEVER WILL WE DO ?

IT'S BUZZING AND BUZZING,
AND IT JUST WON'T STOP.

SORRY, SIR.

PLEASE, I'VE BEEN WAITING
ALL NIGHT FOR SOMETHING
LIKE THIS TO HAPPEN.

SHOW ME.

LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU
COME OVER HERE
AND LEARN SOMETHING...

SO YOU'LL KNOW WHAT TO DO
NEXT TIME YOU LOSE A STORY
IN THE BLACK HOLE.

HERE.
THANK YOU, SIR.

OOH, A LITTLE TENSE.
OOH, OOH, OH.

YOU THINK I WANNA BE HERE
WITH YOU TONIGHT ?

SITTING AROUND HERE,
HANGING ON TO MY JOB
BY A THREAD ?

YOU KNOW HOW HARD
THAT ASTHMATIC BITCH, VIRGINIA,
WILL COME DOWN ON MY ASS...

IF THE COVER STORY IS FUCKED
'CAUSE I WAS LATE AGAIN ?

YOU WOULD THINK
AFTER A LIFETIME
IN THIS OFFICE,

YOU COULD DO
ONE THING RIGHT.

[ Panting ]
SIR,

I HAVE TO GO
TO THE RESTROOM.

[ Crying ]
EXCUSE ME.
YOU'RE PATHETIC !

THANKS TO YOU,
WE'LL PROBABLY BOTH
LOSE OUR JOBS.

[ Buzzing ]

NO, YOU DON'T.

[ Flushing ]

[ Inhaling Deeply ]

[ Gary Grunting ]

[ Tool Thuds ]

[ Mumbling ]

[ Chuckling ]

AH, SHE'LL MISS THAT,
CHEAP BITCH.

MR. MICHAELS ?

[ Gary ]
DORINE !

IF YOU'RE DONE
PLAYING WITH YOURSELF,
COULD YOU COME HOLD THE LIGHT ?

DORINE,
I DON'T HAVE ALL NIGHT !

OW.

CHRIST.

DORINE !

- [ Gasping ]
- [ Screaming ]

[ Electric Current
Buzzing ]
MR. MICHAELS ?

[ Sizzling ]

[ Screams ]
OH !

MR. MICHAELS ?

WAKE UP, MR. MICHAELS.
[ Foot Tapping ]

IT'S DORINE.

WAKE UP !

[ Ringing ]

[ Woman ]
9-1-1. THIS IS 9-1-1.

CAN YOU HEAR ME ?

IS THIS AN EMERGENCY ?
IS THERE ANYBODY
ON THE LINE ?

HELLO ? HELLO ?

YOU ARE NOT A VERY PLEASANT MAN,
MR. MICHAELS. YOU ARE NOT
A VERY PLEASANT MAN AT ALL.

I WAS JUST TRYING
TO PITCH IN.
YOU ARE NOT A VERY PLEASANT MAN,
MR. MICHAELS. YOU ARE NOT
A VERY PLEASANT MAN AT ALL.

I WAS JUST TRYING
TO PITCH IN.

I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP.
[ Panting ]

AND THERE WAS NO NEED
TO GET SO PERSONAL.

LOOK AT THIS MESS.
I AM GOING TO HAVE TO
CLEAN IT UP.

IT'S NOT MY FAULT
IT'S NOT MY FAULT. I'M GOING
TO HAVE TO CLEAN IT UP.

[ Giggles ]

[ Bell Dings ]

[ Dorine Grunting ]

[ Panting ]

GO AWAY.

GO AWAY.
[ Clears Throat ]

TAKE THIS.
HERE. PLEASE.

TAKE THIS.

[ Engine Starting ]

[ Clutch Rattling,
Engine Restarting ]

[ Dorine Narrating ]
YOU MAY THINK THAT ONCE
DEAD PEOPLE ARE DEAD...

THAT THAT IS
THE END OF THEM.

- NOT SO.
- [ Door Closes ]

THEY LEAVE MEMORIES WHICH ARE
VERY MUCH LIKE DEAD PEOPLE
LIVING INSIDE OF YOU.

[ Gasps, Mutters, Exhales ]

DAMN IT TO HELL, MOTHER.
YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH,
YOUNG LADY.

MAKING ALL THAT RACKET.
COMING IN AT THIS HOUR,
DORINE.

I'M TIRED, MAMA.
I HAD TO WORK VERY LATE.

I DON'T WANNA ARGUE.

I'M GOING TO MAKE US SOME TEA,
AND THEN I'LL BRING IT UP,
ALL RIGHT ?

DORINE DOUGLAS, YOU LET
THOSE CATS PULL THE PLUG
OUT OF MY CHAIR AGAIN.

YOUR POOR MAMA HAD TO CALL
THAT LITTLE CASPER GIRL...

TO COME OVER AND PLUG IT IN.

OH, SHE'S IN THE SCOUTS NOW.

SHE LOOKED JUST LIKE YOU DID
IN THAT LITTLE OUTFIT.

SO CUTE.

LITTLE KNIFE HANGING
FROM HER BELT.

DO YOU NEED
ANY HELP ?
NO.

THE DOCTOR SAID
A LITTLE GETTING AROUND
IS GOOD FOR ME.

I HAVE A NICE...
[ Flushing ]

BREAKFAST
ON THE TABLE.

I HAVE BREAKFAST
ON THE TABLE !
MM-HMM.

NOW WHERE THE HELL IS HE ?

[ Kim ]
I HAVE NO IDEA.
I'VE BEEN CALLING HIS HOUSE.

AND ?
AND HIS WIFE
DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING.

[ Laughing ]
YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ?

HE SWORE TO ME IT WOULD BE
READY FIRST THING TODAY.
HE PROMISED !

I KNOW, I KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

YOU WILL GET HIM ON THE LINE,
OR I'LL HAVE YOUR ASS
FOR THIS MESS.

VIRGINIA, LISTEN.
WE REALLY HAVE GOT TO START.
IT'S ALMOST 11:00.

OH, JESUS.

GO AHEAD, AND LET ME KNOW
IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING.

[ Applause, Cheering
On Television ]

[ Jeevis ]
HEY, FOLKS, GOOD MORNING.

[ Buffy Lee ]
WE'VE GOT A FABULOUS SHOW
FOR YOU TODAY.

WE'RE ALL HAPPY TO BE HERE
ON THIS BEAUTIFUL, SUNNY DAY.
[ Doorbell Ringing ]

AREN'T WE, JEEVIS ?
WE SURE ARE, BUFFY.
WHAT A LINEUP WE HAVE FOR YOU.

HI, DORINE.

I'M HERE TO INSTALL THE UNIT.
I'M A LITTLE LATE, SO--

OF COURSE.
I'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU.

NOW I'M GONNA BE GIVING A CLASS
FOR EVERYBODY WORKING AT HOME
SOMETIME NEXT WEEK,

BUT IN THE MEANTIME,
LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT--

I'M SORRY.
YOU COULD JUST WATCH ME,
ALL RIGHT ?

THIS IS YOUR LIFELINE
TO THE OFFICE.

NOW, THE MAGAZINE'S
BEEN USING E-MAIL
FOR A WHILE,

BUT FOR YOU FOLKS AT HOME,
YOU'LL BE USING IT
FOR PRACTICALLY EVERYTHING.

I KNOW IT MIGHT SEEM
A LITTLE BIT WEIRD AT FIRST,

BUT ONCE YOU GET USED TO IT,
YOU KNOW ?

SOME FOLKS SAY THEY LIKE IT
SO MUCH, THEY STOP TALKING
TO PEOPLE IN PERSON.

UM, OKAY, LET ME GIVE YOU
MY CARD IN CASE YOU HAVE
ANY PROBLEMS AT ALL.

I TOLD YOU
ABOUT THE WORKSHOP,

BUT FOR NOW,
YOU KNOW, FEEL FREE
TO JUST FOOL AROUND,

START TO GET
TO KNOW THE SYSTEM,
TRY THE TUTORIALS.

I DO KNOW
A LITTLE BIT ALREADY.
GOOD.

THANK YOU.
YOU'RE VERY WELCOME.

I GUESS THAT'S IT.
[ Cat Meowing ]

DO YOU NEED A RIDE
BACK TO THE OFFICE ?
I'M GOING RIGHT THERE.

OH, THANK YOU.
I HAVE A CAR.
[ Meowing Continues ]

[ Buzzer Buzzing ]

WHAT'S THAT ?
MY MOTHER.

SHE HAS A HARD TIME
GETTING AROUND.
[ Buzzing Continues ]

COMING, MAMA !

- [ Phone Ringing ]
- HELLO ?

[ Kim On Telephone ]
MRS. MICHAELS ?
YES.

YEAH, IT'S KIM AGAIN.
I WAS JUST WONDERING
IF YOU HEARD ANYTHING.

[ Baby Screeching ]
NO, I HAVEN'T.
NOTHING.

- AND YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY
NO IDEA WHERE HE COULD BE ?
- NO !

HOW DO I KNOW HE HASN'T
PUT YOU UP TO THIS WHOLE THING
TO BEGIN WITH ?

MRS. MICHAELS, WE HAVE NO IDEA
WHERE MR. MICHAELS IS.
I SWEAR TO YOU.

WELL, HAVE YOU CHECKED
THE HOSPITALS ?

WHAT'D THEY SAY ?

[ Virginia Coughing ]
OH, UH-HUH.

WELL, I DON'T THINK
YOU SHOULD WORRY.
I'M SURE HE'LL TURN UP.

OKAY. YEAH.
OKAY, I GOTTA GO.

BYE.

[ Kim ]
LET'S MEET AFTER WORK.

OH, I GOTTA GO.
BYE.

"DEAR KIM--
[ Mumbling ]

HOLD DOWN THE FORT.
LOVE, GARY."

BETWEEN VIRGINIA CHEWING
MY HEAD OFF AND GARY'S WIFE,
I'M FREAKING OUT.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS.
IT'S LIKE THEY THINK I HAVE HIM
STASHED UNDER MY DESK.

I'M SURE
HE'D LOVE THAT, KIM.

WHAT THE HELL'S
THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN ?
FORGET IT.

IT'S NOT MY FAULT
THAT THEIR MARRIAGE SUCKS.

WHERE DO YOU GET OFF
BEING SO SUPERIOR,
LITTLE MISS PRINCETON ?

NOT EVERYONE'S SO PERFECT.
[ Elevator Bell Dings ]

DROP IT.
NOT EVERYONE GETS
EVERYTHING THEY WANT.

NOT EVERYONE'S
SO LUCKY, NORAH.
DROP IT !

OKAY, OKAY.
I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY.
I'M JUST FREAKING OUT.

GARY JUST SENT ME
AN E-MAIL.

WHAT ?
YEAH, JUST BEFORE
I CALLED YOU.

HE SAYS HE JUST NEEDED A BREAK.
NOW WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ?

HE'S EITHER IN DETOX,
OR HE'S HIDING FROM
SOME BOOKIE WITH A GUN.

JUST LET IT GO, KIM.
[ Sighs ]

DON'T STICK YOUR NECK OUT.
LET'S GET BACK.

OOH, OH, OH-OH.

IS THIS THE ONE ?

[ Virginia Mumbling ]

I CAME IN THERE,
AND-AND-AND-AND MR. MICHAELS--

[ Dorine Continues,
Indistinct ]

...TO MY ASSISTANCE.
AND ?

SIT DOWN.

DORIS, SIT.

DORINE. DORINE.

IT'S DORINE.
SO.

[ Lighter Clicking ]
SO MR. MICHAELS...
IT'S DORINE.
SO.

[ Lighter Clicking ]
SO MR. MICHAELS...

BECAME VERY ANGRY...

BECAUSE HE COULDN'T
FIX IT EITHER,

AND HE INSISTED...

THAT I LEAVE HIM ALONE...

WITH HIS CHALLENGE.

OH !
[ Crying ]
WITH HIS CHALLENGE.

OH !
[ Crying ]

OH, YOU IDIOT !

MR. LANDAU TOLD ME,
HE SPECIFICALLY ASKED YOU
TO STAY...

UNTIL IT WAS FINISHED.
[ Sighing ]

YOU'RE A BIT LONG IN THE TOOTH
FOR THAT ROOKIE BEHAVIOR,
AREN'T YOU, DEAR ?

WELL, HAVE YOU CONTACTED
MR. MICHAELS ?

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

DO YOU THINK I'D BE WASTING
MY TIME WITH YOU...

IF I HAD REACHED HIM ?

[ Michael ] YOU KNOW HOW HARD
THAT ASTHMATIC BITCH, VIRGINIA,
WILL COME DOWN ON MY ASS--

YOU'RE PATHETIC !
[ Intercom Buzzing ]

[ Man ]
KIM IS HERE.
SEND HER IN.

- WHEN MR. MICHAELS--
- AH, FORGET GARY MICHAELS !

HE'S A LOSER. PROBABLY HIDING
LIKE A BABY ANYWHERE.

WHAT IS SHE
DOING HERE ?
SIT.

- KIM, DORINE.
- YEAH, WE'VE MET.

GOOD.
BECAUSE YOU'LL BE SEEING
A LOT OF EACH OTHER.

I'M PUTTING YOU BOTH
ON THE MISSING PIECE...

WHICH I NEED YESTERDAY.

LISTEN, GIRLS, I DON'T CARE
HOW YOU'RE DOING IT.

RECONSTRUCT IT FROM GARY'S NOTES
OR MAKE IT UP IF YOU HAVE TO.

I'M SERIOUS.
ROUND-THE-CLOCK TILL IT'S DONE.

HI.
HI.

WHAT'S ALL THIS ?
UH, DON'T TOUCH IT.
DON'T TOUCH IT !

IT'S JUST SOME ACCOUNTING,
YOU NOSY BOY.
[ Classical ]

WHERE WERE YOU ?
I HAD TO GO BY WORK
AFTER THAT LAST INSTALLATION.

YOU KNOW, KIM SEEMS TO THINK
YOU'RE PISSED OFF AT HER.

OH, REALLY ?
YEAH, SHE WAS PRETTY UPSET.

WELL, KIM SHOULD
SPEND MORE TIME
DOING HER JOB.

I MEAN, SHE AND GARY
HAVE NEVER DELIVERED
A SINGLE ARTICLE ON TIME.

THERE YOU GO.
SEE, THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT.

I MEAN, IT'S ALL ABOUT
OFFICE POLITICS, THEN TO HELL
WITH THE REST OF US.

YOU GOTTA CHILL OUT.
I MEAN, WHAT KIND OF SCAM
ARE YOU RUNNING HERE ANYWAY ?

NOTHING. I AM JUST TRYING
TO GET US OUT OF THIS PLACE.

[ Sighing ]
SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT
TOO CONCERNED ABOUT.

WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE
A LESSON FROM KIM AND FIND
YOURSELF A LIFE, NORAH.

DANIEL,
GO FUCK YOURSELF.

[ Papers Thud ]

NORAH.
NORAH, COME ON.

COME ON.
OPEN THE DOOR, PLEASE.

[ Thunderclaps ]

[ Sighing ]

DORINE.

HEY !

SORRY.
DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME ?

WAS THERE SOMETHING
THAT YOU NEEDED ?

[ Sighing ]
NO, FORGET IT.

[ Coughing ]

[ Sighing ]

SHIT. SHE CAN MAKE ME
STAY HERE ALL NIGHT,

BUT SHE CAN'T
MAKE ME STARVE.

I'M GONNA GO OUT
AND GET SOMETHING.

DO YOU WANT ANYTHING ?

NO, THANK YOU.
I'M FINE.
DO YOU WANT ANYTHING ?

NO, THANK YOU.
I'M FINE.

OKAY.

[ Thunder Rumbling ]

HELLO ?

KIM ? DORINE ?

JESUS FUCKING--
DORINE !

YOU SCARED THE SHIT
OUT OF ME.

[ Wheezing ]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ?
YOU FINISH ?

[ Groaning ]

HERE WE GO.
UP, UP, UP.

UP.

DORINE, I KNOW
YOU DIDN'T WANT ANYTHING,

BUT I GOT SOME DING DONGS
FOR YOU.

OH, SHIT.

YOU LOOK MUCH PRETTIER
IF YOU PUT YOUR HAIR
OFF YOUR FACE.

OOH, THANK YOU.

[ Clears Throat ]
THESE ARE FOR ME ?

I'LL JUST BORROW 'EM.
THANK YOU.

[ Cat Meowing ]

HERE YOU GO.
EVERYBODY COMFORTABLE ?

COMFORTABLE NOW ?

OKAY.
[ Meowing Continues ]

THIS IS JUST LIKE
OLD TIMES.

I PUT MOTHER TO BED EARLY,

AND WE CAN STAY UP
AS LATE AS WE WANT.

[ Giggling ]

OH !

COME HERE.
COME HERE, COME HERE.
COME HERE.

[ Purring ]
GO PLAY WITH VIRGINIA.
SHE LIKES YOU.

THERE NOW.

HE'S A MUCH MORE
HANDSOME BOY.

[ Cat Meows ]

[ Giggling ]

MR. MICHAELS,

YOU SHOULDN'T SAY
SUCH THINGS TO A GIRL.
[ Meowing Continues ]

[ Giggling Continues ]

YOUR FATHER WOULD HATE
WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO THIS HOUSE.

WHAT DID YOU DO WITH ALL THAT
PERFECTLY GOOD FURNITURE ?

MOTHER, YOU KNOW
I MOVED DOWNSTAIRS.
YOU KNOW THAT.

LOSE IT, DORINE.
I'M NOT COMPLETELY CRIPPLED.

WELL, I JUST THINK
IT WAS BETTER WITH A MAN
AROUND THE HOUSE...

TO GIVE THIS PLACE
SOME ORDER.

HE RAN A TIGHT SHIP,
YOUR DADDY DID,

BUT HE SURE KNEW
HOW TO KEEP US GIRLS
UNDER HIS THUMB.

OH, DON'T YOU MISS ALL THOSE
WONDERFUL SUNDAY MORNINGS,

GETTING THE PAPER,
MAKING UP HIS TRAY ?

OH, THE SUMMER COTTAGE.
[ Screams ]

OH, DAMN IT TO HELL, DORINE.
WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
MOTHER.

I'M GONNA BRING YOURS
UPSTAIRS, MOTHER.

UH, I-I-I HAVE TO GET
INTO WORK EARLY TODAY.

IT'S-IT'S A SPECIAL DAY
FOR ME.

SO I'M GOING TO BRING YOURS
UPSTAIRS, OKAY, MAMA ?

[ Doorbell Ringing ]

HI, MISS DOUGLAS.

THE SCOUTS IS
A NATIONAL ORGAZI--
NATIONAL GROUP--

DEVOTED TO TEACHING--
YOUNG GIRLS LEADERSHIP,
LOYALTY AND HONESTY.

YES, I KNOW, LINDA.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY
SOME COOKIES ?

YES, MY M-- F--
MY--

MY MOTHER ALWAYS LIKED
THOSE PEANUT BUTTER SMOOTHIES.
COME IN.

WHAT A NICE HOUSE
YOU HAVE.

YES.

TELL THEM I'VE JUST
FINISHED THE ARTICLE,
AND I'VE SENT IT...

BY FAX MODEM.

YES, THANK YOU.

[ Giggling ]

[ Beeping ]

[ Gasps, Sighs ]

DEAR KIM,
WHERE'S MY STORY ?

BITCH !

"SPOKE WITH VIRGINIA--
DORINE."

[ Kim ]
NICE DIGS.

WELL, I GOT ANOTHER ONE.

FROM GARY ?
YEP.

- WHERE IS HE ?
- HE DIDN'T SAY.
FROM GARY ?
YEP.

- WHERE IS HE ?
- HE DIDN'T SAY.

HE SAID HE SPOKE WITH VIRGINIA,
BUT SHE'S NOT IN HER OFFICE.
HAVE YOU SEEN HER ?

NO, NOT YET,
BUT I JUST GOT HERE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
I'VE NEVER BEEN SO PISSED OFF.

YOU KNOW, THEY COMPLETELY
DITCHED ME LAST NIGHT.
SHE AND THAT DORINE.

PROBABLY RAN OFF TOGETHER.
YOU KNOW, THEY'RE PROBABLY
LEZZIES.
WHAT ?

AND NOW, APPARENTLY, VIRGINIA'S
BEEN TALKING WITH GARY.
I MEAN, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?

I DON'T GET IT.

KIM,

WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ?
[ Sighs ]

KIM.

KIM, HOLD ON.

DORINE.

DORINE !

HEY !

GOOD MORNING, MISS POOLE.

WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU
LAST NIGHT ?
I WENT HOME.

OH, SO YOU JUST WENT HOME.
YOU FIGURED YOU COULD JUST
LEAVE ME HERE TO DO EVERYTHING ?

I WAS TENDING TO MOTHER.
OH, PLEASE.

I'M NOT TAKING THE RAP
ON THIS ONE, LADY, AND IF YOU
THINK THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING,

YOU ARE VERY--
KIM !

WHAT ? WHAT ?
MAYBE THERE'S AN EXPLANATION.

NORAH, BACK OFF.
I MEAN IT.
OH. SORRY.

KIM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?
SAVING MY ASS.

WHAT, BY TATTLING TO EDITORIAL ?
YOU THINK THEY CARE
ABOUT YOUR PETTY GARBAGE ?

NO, I JUST WANNA--
BECAUSE THEY DON'T.

I WANNA MAKE SURE
THAT EVERYONE KNOWS
WHO TO START ACCUSING...

WHEN THE ISSUE DOESN'T COME IN
THIS WEEK, 'CAUSE I'M NOT TAKING
THE BLAME, NOT THIS TIME.

- [ Man ]
LOOKS GOOD.
- WHAT IS GOING ON HERE ?

KIM ?
I MEAN, IF THIS IS SOME KIND
OF BIG JOKE AT MY EXPENSE,

I'M NOT LAUGHING.
HEY, CALM DOWN.
HAVE A SEAT.

KIM, WHAT ARE YOU
RAMBLING ABOUT ?
THE BIG EMERGENCY.

OR SO VIRGINIA SAYS
BECAUSE GARY DIDN'T FINISH
THE COVER STORY...

BEFORE DISAPPEARING,
WHICH IS ANOTHER THING.

HE'S ACTUALLY FINE.
WHOA.
KIM, SLOW DOWN.

OH, NO.
HI, DORINE.

UM, I WAS GOING
THROUGH MY CLOSET,

AND I FOUND
A COUPLE OF THINGS
THAT I NEVER WEAR.

THEY'D LOOK GREAT ON YOU.

OH, WELL.
I COULD TRY THEM.
GOOD.

THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO DO
THE COVER STORY TOGETHER,
BUT SHE ENDS UP LOSING IT.

SO THEN GARY--
WHATEVER--

OKAY, SO VIRGINIA
COMES UP TO ME,
AND SHE TELLS ME...

TO GO FINISH THAT STORY
WITH THAT BITCH.

HER NAME'S DORINE, KIM.

AND SHE DID
A FANTASTIC JOB, BY THE WAY.
I JUST FINISHED READING IT.

WHAT ?
DORINE HANDED IT IN
THIS MORNING.

SHE DID QUITE A NICE JOB.
I JUST SENT IT TO LAYOUT.
W-W-WAIT, THAT FUCKING FREAK ?

KIM, THAT'S PLENTY FROM YOU.
YOU WERE ASKED TO STAY LATE,
AND YOU JUST COULDN'T DELIVER.

I WAS HERE ALL NIGHT.
IT'S PATHETIC,
YOU TRYING TO BLAME DORINE.

YOU'VE PROBABLY BEEN
AT THIS MAGAZINE LONGER...

THAN JUST ABOUT
ANY OF US.

SIXTEEN YEARS.

WELL, YOU'VE PROBABLY
GOTTEN A LOT TO OFFER
DURING THE CHANGEOVER.

THAT'S A LONG TIME.

YES, IT IS.
YEAH.

AND, OF COURSE,
MY FATHER...

WAS ONE OF ITS
FOUNDING EDITORS.
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

I-I'M AFRAID WE'RE GONNA
HAVE TO LET YOU GO, KIM.

HAVE YOUR DESK CLEARED OUT
BY THE END OF WORK TODAY.

YOU CAN'T FIRE ME !
WHERE'S VIRGINIA ?

WE CAN, KIM.
WE JUST DID.
HAPPY TRAILS.

[ Door Opens ]

SOUNDS LIKE QUITE A MAN,
YOUR FATHER.

IS HE STILL ALIVE ?

NO, MY FATHER WAS KILLED
IN A CAR ACCIDENT.

MY MOTHER WAS CRIPPLED.

[ Car Radio:
Instrumental ]

[ Mother ]
WE OUGHT TO WASH HER MOUTH OUT
WITH SOAP.

YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE
HER FILTHY LIES.

WATCH WHERE
YOU'RE GOING, PETER.

WHAT DID YOU SAY
TO YOUR MOTHER, DORINE ?

YOUR DADDY'S TALKIN' TO YOU.

SHE'S ASHAMED OF HERSELF.
SHE SHOULD BE.

SHE HAS A DIRTY MIND.

NOW I CAN'T EVEN REPEAT
WHAT SHE SAID ABOUT YOU.

AH, SHE LOVES ME,
DON'T YOU, HONEY ?

YOU LOVE YOUR DADDY,
DON'T YOU ?

YOU'RE PROBABLY JUST
JEALOUS OF YOUR MOTHER,
AREN'T YOU, DORINE ?

DON'T ENCOURAGE HER.
PETER.

YOU TICKLISH THERE, HONEY ?
HUH ?

[ Laughing ]

- HEY !
- [ Brakes Squealing ]

I'M SO SORRY, DORINE.
THAT'S TERRIBLE.

FUCK VIRGINIA.

SHITTY,
BACKSTABBING DYKE.

YOU CAN JUST FUCK
THAT FRIGGIN' WIG, DORINE.

I'M SURE SHE'S RIGHT UP
YOUR ALLEY.

[ Sighs ]
FUCK NORAH...

AND FUCK THIS
WHOLE FUCKING OFFICE.

[ Vacuum Cleaner Whirring ]

[ Man ]
HEY.
[ Kim ] HI.

- GETTIN' READY TO LEAVE, HUH ?
- YEP.

I'M SORRY.

[ Voices Garbled,
Chattering ]

I THINK SHE'S GONNA TAKE DORINE.
[ Laughing ]

SHE'S SCREWING EVERYTHING UP.

- YEAH.
- WHAT HAPPENED ?

OH, IT'S JUST--

[ Kim Giggling ]
I THINK SHE'S A FREAK.

[ Chattering Continues ]

[ Man ]
LOOK, IF YOU NEED A HAND
BRINGING ANYTHING DOWN--

NO, NO, I GOT IT.
YOU SURE ?

YEAH. THANKS.

[ Kim ]
SEE YOU AROUND.
BYE.

GOOD NIGHT.

[ Bell Dings,
Door Opens ]

[ Bell Dings ]

[ Screams ]
OH, SHIT !
EASY, EASY.

OH, DANNY, YOU SCARED
THE SHIT OUT OF ME.

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE SO LATE ?
WELL, IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU TOO.

I'M SORRY. JUST--
I'M TRYING TO GET OUT OF HERE.
I WAS CANNED.

OH, JESUS.
THAT'S HORRIBLE.
YEAH, I KNOW.

WELL, I WAS JUST COMING TO SEE
IF YOU WANTED TO JOIN US
FOR A DRINK.

US WHO ?
ME AND NORAH.

YEAH.
HIM AND NORAH.

[ Sighs ]
OKAY. WELL,
I COULD USE A DRINK.

I'LL MEET YOU THERE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, DANNY BOY,
IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND A CORPORATE
MONSTER YET, OR WHAT ?

[ Dance ]
YOU ARE SUCH A BITCH
SOMETIMES, KIM.

OH, ISN'T THAT THE POT
CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK ?

I DON'T THINK SO.
I'VE SEEN HOW
YOU'VE TREATED DORINE.

OH, NORAH, OPEN YOUR EYES.
THE WOMAN IS JUST USING YOU.

FOR WHAT I DON'T KNOW,
BUT LOOK AT HER.
SHE IS--

NO ! SHE IS A LONELY,
DEFENSELESS PERSON.

THE ONLY THING THAT SHE HAS
IN THIS WORLD IS HER WORK.
[ Scoffs ]

BUT NO. YOU KNOW WHAT
SHE TOLD ME TODAY ?
NO. WHAT ?

HER FATHER DIED
WHEN SHE WAS A TEENAGER,
OH.

AND SHE LIVES
WITH HER CRIPPLED MOTHER.
OH !

OH ! YEAH. WELL, SHE HAD TO GO
TO A FOSTER HOME FOR YEARS
WHILE SHE RECOVERED.

WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP.
[ Mocking Laughter ]

ALL RIGHT, GUYS,
LET'S-LET'S CHILL OUT.

MAYBE WE SHOULD
PROBABLY GO.

EVERYBODY SEEMS TO BE
A LITTLE BIT STRUNG OUT
TODAY.

YOU READY ?
YES.

IT'S TOO LOUD IN HERE.
I REALLY SHOULD GET TO BED.

I'M SORRY, OKAY ?
I'M SORRY.

KIM, FORGET IT.

WE'LL SEE YOU.

[ Continues ]

OH, DORINE.
GOOD NIGHT, DORINE.

THANKS AGAIN.
GREAT JOB.
REAL LIFESAVER.

PERSONALLY,
I FIND IT SO MUCH EASIER
TO WORK WITHOUT THEM.

[ Bell Dings ]

THANK YOU.

[ Grunts ]

BELIEVE ME, I KNOW
IT'S SO MUCH HARDER
TO BE ON YOUR TOES...

WHEN YOU'RE JUST NOT FEELING
FRESH AS A DAISY.

NOW YOUR HANDS'LL GET
A LITTLE REST.

GOODNESS.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU ?

[ Fly Buzzing ]
GOODNESS.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU ?

[ Fly Buzzing ]

OH.

[ Buzzing Continues ]

HMM.

OKAY. HMM.

[ Giggling ]

THERE. NOW DOESN'T THAT
FEEL BETTER ?

[ Buzzing Continues ]

[ Keyboard Keys Clicking ]
[ Norah ]
STOP !

STOP IT !
[ Computer Buzzing ]
[ Keyboard Keys Clicking ]
[ Norah ]
STOP !

STOP IT !
[ Computer Buzzing ]

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU MEAN.
[ Clicking Continues ]

[ Buzzing Continues ]
[ Grunts ]

NO, NO, NO.
NEVER BANG.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT'S DOING.
I--

YOU MUST'VE MADE AN ERROR.

MM.
[ Buzzing Continues ]

[ Buzzing Stops ]
COMPUTERS
ARE LIKE CHILDREN.

THEY FOLLOW
WHERE YOU LEAD.

THEY DON'T MAKE MISTAKES
UNLESS YOU LEAD THEM
IN THE WRONG DIRECTION.

[ Keyboard Keys Clicking ]
[ Computer Beeps ]

THANKS, DORINE.

OH, YOU'RE
A LIFESAVER.
NOT AT ALL.

[ Norah Sighs ]

SO, THANKS, DORINE.

I'LL-I'LL SEE YOU
AT LUNCH.

HEY, MISS POOLE--
OH, FUCK OFF !
TED, THIS IS FUCKED UP.

YOU HAVE TO GET RID OF
DORINE DOUGLAS. SHE SET ME UP.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ?

AND NOW SHE'S GOT ALL OF YOU
EATING OUT OF HER HANDS.
IT'S RIDICULOUS !

KIM, GO HOME.
GO TO UNEMPLOYMENT.
JUST LEAVE.

THIS COMPULSIVE LYING OF YOURS
HAS GOTTEN COMPLETELY OUT OF
HAND.
I'M NOT LYING.

JUST GET OUT OF HERE,
AND DON'T COME BACK,

OR I'LL CALL SECURITY
AND HAVE YOU ARRESTED.

[ Norah ]
MM-HMM.
[ Beeping ]

MM-HMM.

HON, I'VE GOTTA GO.
I'M SWAMPED.

ABOUT--
ABOUT 9:00 OKAY ?

OKAY. OKAY.

BYE.

WHO THE HELL--

ARREST ME.
YEAH, RIGHT.

YOU'RE GONNA
ARREST ME. FUCK !

FUCKING ASSHOLE.

HELLO ?

IS ANYONE THERE ?

[ Screaming ]

[ Gasping ]

[ Screaming ]

NO !

[ Screaming ]

CHRIST ! WHERE--
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?

YOU GONNA HAUNT THE PLACE NOW ?
HEY, DID YOU JUST
SEND ME E-MAIL ?

NO. SOMEBODY
JUST ATTACKED ME
IN THE STAIRWELL.

I COULDN'T SEE, BUT I THINK
THAT IT WAS A WOMAN.

I REALLY THINK
THAT IT WAS HER.

- WHO ?
- YOU KNOW WHO.

CHRIST.

YOU'RE SICK, KIM.
I CAN'T BELIEVE EVEN YOU
WOULD STOOP THIS LOW.

OH, GOD.

UH, MR. LANDAU.
IS THERE A PROBLEM,
MISS REED ?

YEAH, UH, NO.
UM, WELL,
I WAS, UM--

I WAS JUST WONDERING
IF DORINE...

OR ANYONE ELSE
IN THE COPY DEPARTMENT
RECENTLY SENT ME AN E-MAIL.

NOT THAT I KNOW OF.
DORINE STEPPED AWAY
FROM HER DESK.

SHE SHOULD
BE BACK SHORTLY.
[ Sniffles ]

WELL, IF YOU DON'T MIND,
I THINK I'LL WAIT.

SO...

YOU'VE KNOWN DORINE
FOR A LONG TIME ?
SURE.

WE WERE NEIGHBORS
WHEN WE WERE KIDS.
YOU'VE KNOWN DORINE
FOR A LONG TIME ?
SURE.

WE WERE NEIGHBORS
WHEN WE WERE KIDS.

WE SPENT A LOT
OF TIME TOGETHER.
REALLY ?

SHE SAID, UM,

HER FATHER
GAVE YOU THE JOB.

HE DID. UM--

I THINK DORINE
HAD A CRUSH ON ME,
AND HE DIDN'T LIKE IT.

SO HE PROMISED ME THIS JOB
IF I WOULD SIMPLY STAY AWAY
FROM HIS DAUGHTER.

BUT ANYWAY, MISS REED,
WHAT I DO KNOW IS THAT
SHE'S A TREMENDOUS WORKER,

AS I'M SURE
YOU KNOW AS WELL,

AND THAT'S ALL THAT REALLY
SHOULD COUNT AROUND HERE.

[ Sighs ]

[ Dorine ]
MISS REED !

SHALL WE HAVE LUNCH ?
I'M HUNGRY.

[ Chuckles Nervously ]

DORINE,

YOU DIDN'T SEND ME
ANY E-MAIL TODAY, DID YOU ?

ME ? NO,
I'M NOT REALLY SURE
HOW IT WORKS YET.

DID YOU EXPECT ONE ?

NO.

NO.
[ Chuckling ]

[ Sighs ]
SURE, LET'S GO TO LUNCH.

THAT'S A NICE SCARF,
DORINE.

MISS POOLE SEEMS TO BE
IN QUITE A HURRY.

PLEASE, SHE'S NOT
A WELL WOMAN.

[ Tires Squealing ]
SO I TOLD TED...

THAT WE PROBABLY
WOULDN'T BE BACK.

HE'S STILL SO THRILLED
ABOUT YOU SAVING THE DAY.
IT'S NO PROBLEM.

EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE,
HUH, DORINE ?

OH, HOW ABOUT A MANICURE ?
[ Grunting ]

[ Dorine Sighing ]

[ Coughing Softly ]

HMM. MM.

NORAH.

SOME POWDER ?

I KEEP TELLING HER
THAT DORINE IS A PSYCHO.

BUT WHAT DOES SHE DO ? SHE GOES
AND MAKES HER A SPECIAL PROJECT
AND TAKES HER UNDER HER WING.

YOU KNOW THEY HAD LUNCH TODAY ?
WAIT, WAIT.
YOU HAVE TO SLOW DOWN.

OKAY.
I WAS IN THE STAIRWAY,
AND I GOT ATTACKED.

IT WAS WITH SOME KIND OF
A SCARF. I COULDN'T SEE,
BUT I KNOW IT WAS A WOMAN.

YOU HAVE TO GO
TO THE POLICE, KIM.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA
WHO THIS IS ?

I THINK IT WAS HER.
WHO, DORINE ?

OH, COME ON, THE WOMAN WEIGHS
LIKE 80 POUNDS. YOU THINK SHE'S
CAPABLE OF HOLDING YOU DOWN ?

I KNOW. IT SOUNDS INSANE,
AND EVERYONE THINKS
I'M OUT OF MY MIND.

NO, NO, JUST CALM DOWN.
I'M GONNA GIVE NORAH
A CALL.
I KNOW. IT SOUNDS INSANE,
AND EVERYONE THINKS
I'M OUT OF MY MIND.

NO, NO, JUST CALM DOWN.
I'M GONNA GIVE NORAH
A CALL.

DO YOU WANT A DRINK
OR SOMETHING ?
YEAH.

OKAY. SIT TIGHT.
[ Phone Beeping ]

[ Phone Ringing ]

HI, JUMBO.
[ Jumbo Meowing ]

[ Door Closes ]

[ Chattering ]

MAMA !

I'M HOME !

MAMA !

[ Screaming ]
MAMA !

[ Crying ]
NO, DON'T GO AWAY, MOMMY !

MOMMY.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
I DON'T CARE, I DON'T CARE.

HA-HA-HA. YOU THINK
YOU'RE SUCH A SILLY GIRL ?

I DON'T CARE.
YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF !

AND YOU AND DADDY...

CAN JUST GO DANCE IN HELL,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT ?

YOU AND DADDY !
CAN JUST GO DANCE IN HELL,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT ?

YOU AND DADDY !

I DON'T CARE.

[ Screaming ]

HON, IT'S ME.
I'M GETTING REALLY WORRIED.
PLEASE, CALL ME.

I'M GOING DOWN THERE.
TO DORINE'S ?

WHY WOULD THEY GO THERE ?

YOU DON'T THINK--
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO THINK.

I JUST--
I HAVE TO TALK TO DORINE.

- YOU WANT ME TO GO WITH YOU ?
- NO, YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH
EXCITEMENT FOR ONE DAY.

YOU SHOULD STAY HERE IN CASE
NORAH CALLS, AND THE MINUTE YOU
HEAR ANYTHING, GIVE ME A BEEP.

OKAY.
DANIEL ?

BE CAREFUL.

[ Footsteps ]

[ Rattling ]

SORRY, MISS DOUGLAS.

[ Laughing ]
SHE'S WEIRD !

PROBABLY GOT ANOTHER ONE
IN THE BASEMENT.

MAN, THE WHOLE PLACE
REEKED OF DEATH.

OH, YOU'RE SICK.
LET'S GET GOING.
[ Chuckling ]

[ Dispatcher On Radio
Chattering ]

[ Doors Closing ]

[ Engine Starting ]

[ Doorbell Ringing ]

[ Dog Barking In Distance ]

HI.

WHY, DANIEL.
[ Giggling Nervously ]

I DIDN'T EXPECT
ANOTHER VISIT.

MAY I COME IN ?
I'M LOOKING FOR NORAH.
HAVE YOU SEEN HER ?

FORGIVE MY MANNERS.
PLEASE.
THANK YOU.

[ Chuckling ]

IT'S SO NICE OF YOU
TO STOP BY.

CAN I OFFER YOU
SOMETHING TO DRINK ?
WE HAVE TEA AND COFFEE.

OH, MY,
WE HAVE LEMONADE.

UH, NOTHING,
THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT.

LEMONADE THEN.

MEAT LOAF.

I'M HAVING MEAT LOAF.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY
FOR DINNER ?

DORINE, YOU STILL
HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY QUESTION.

HAVE YOU SEEN NORAH ?

YES, SEVERAL HOURS AGO,
WE HAD--

WE HAD SUCH A LOVELY LUNCH,

AND THEN WE WENT SHOPPING.

AND THEN--
WELL, THEN SHE HAD TO GO
BACK TO WORK.

[ Chuckling ]
YOU'RE ADMIRING MY NECKLACE.

NORAH HELPED ME
PICK THIS OUT.

IT'S JUST LIKE HERS.

- IT'S EXACTLY LIKE HERS.
- MM-HMM.

- IS THAT YOU ?
- MY FATHER AND I.

AND BRUSH AWAY
THE BLUE TAIL FLY
JIMMY CRACK CORN

AN' I DON'T CARE
DORINE, HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU
SIT UP HERE NEXT TO DADDY ?

I HAVE TO FINISH
MY HOMEWORK.

THE MASTER'S GONE AWAY

JIMMY CRACK CORN
AN' I DON'T CARE
THE MASTER'S GONE AWAY

JIMMY CRACK CORN
AN' I DON'T CARE

- HA !
- HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' ?

YOU TWO ARE NO FUN.

[ Mother ]
GOTCHA !
MY MOTHER PAINTED IT.

IS YOUR MOTHER HERE ?
IF YOU DON'T MIND,
I'D LIKE TO SEE...

MAYBE IF NORAH CALLED
OR SOMETHING.

I'M SO, SO SORRY,
BUT MY MOTHER IS SLEEPING.

WELL, IF IT'S OKAY WITH YOU,
I'D LIKE TO WAIT
TILL SHE WAKES UP...

JUST TO FIND OUT IF,
YOU KNOW, SHE HEARD ANYTHING
BEFORE YOU GOT BACK.

THAT'S FINE.

I DON'T THINK
SHE HEARD ANYTHING THOUGH.

SO, UH, HOW'S IT BEEN
WORKING OUT FOR YOU
AROUND HERE ?

IT'S BEEN GOING SO WELL.

IN THE VERY BEGINNING,
I WAS SPOOKED...
[ Chuckles ]

BY ALL THE GADGETS.

BUT THEN
I REALLY WORKED HARD.

I JUST STUDIED
AND STUDIED AND STUDIED,

AND NOW, I REALLY FEEL
AS THOUGH THE COMPUTER
IS MY BEST FRIEND.

THE COMPUTER'S YOUR BEST FRIEND.
MAYBE IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY
ABOUT YOU, DORINE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?
WHAT IS IT THAT THEY SAY ?

YEAH, WELL, SOLID WORKER,
BUT, YOU KNOW, A LITTLE BIT--
[ Stammering ]

BUT YOU KEEP TO YOURSELF A LOT.
YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE QUIET,
PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE STRANGE.

WHEN K-KIM--
KIM EVEN SAID THAT YOU TRIED
TO ATTACK HER TODAY.

[ Chuckling ]
REALLY ?

WELL, MY,
MISS POOLE CERTAINLY HAS
QUITE AN IMAGINATION.

[ Groaning ]

[ Coughs ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Whimpers ]

[ Groans ]

[ Norah Crying ]

- WHAT WAS THAT, DORINE ?
- MY CATS.

- [ Crying Continues ]
- DORINE, WHAT THE HELL
WAS THAT ?

THE CATS. JUMBO.

HE SCREAMS.

EXCUSE ME.

DORINE ?

D-DORINE ?
DORINE, THANK GOD.

[ Crying ]
OH, MY GOD !

WHAT IS THIS PLACE ?

WHERE ARE WE ?
WE'RE HOME NOW, NORAH.

WE'RE WORKING AT HOME NOW.
[ Sniffling ]

AND THAT'S ALL
BECAUSE OF YOU.

IT'S ALL BECAUSE
YOU SENT US HOME
TO DO OUR JOBS.

[ Panting ]

DID YOU GET THE E-MAIL
THAT I SENT YOU TODAY, NORAH ?

[ Sniffling ]
E-MAIL ?

NO.
[ Fly Buzzing ]

WE WERE-- WE WERE
ON OUR WAY TO LUNCH.

BUT I DON'T REMEMBER.

DID WE EAT ?
I DON'T--

YOU WON'T BE HUNGRY
ANYMORE, NORAH.

I TOOK YOU HOME
SO THAT YOU COULD EXPLAIN
TO EVERYONE...

ABOUT ALL THE NUMBERS
ON YOUR LITTLE YELLOW PAD.

I TOOK YOU HOME
SO THAT YOU COULD EXPLAIN--

EXPLAIN TO EVERYONE
ABOUT ALL THE MONEY...

THAT YOU HAVE BEEN STEALING.

NO !

[ Daniel ]
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE ?
OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR.

- THE KEYS, DORINE. OPEN UP !
- NO !

HELP ME !
SOMEBODY HELP !

OH, MY GOD !
NORAH !

COME ON OUT,
YOU GREEDY LITTLE GIRL.

EVERYONE'S WAITING
TO TALK TO YOU.

YOU KNOW WE'RE FORBIDDEN
TO PLAY HIDE-AND-SEEK
IN THE BASEMENT.

IT'S DIRTY AND NASTY,
AND WE'LL BE PUNISHED !

[ Norah Gasping ]

YOU WICKED, WICKED, WICKED
LITTLE GIRL.

YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND, NORAH.
YOU NEVER WERE.
YOU WICKED, WICKED, WICKED
LITTLE GIRL.

YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND, NORAH.
YOU NEVER WERE.

[ Crying ]
NO ! DORINE.
DON'T DO THIS.

NO ! NO ! PLEASE.

NO, PLEASE.
IT'S ALL MY FAULT.

PLEASE.

I'M SO SORRY. I DIDN'T--
I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU.

OH, I'M SO SORRY.
I'M SO SORRY.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU.

I'M SO-- I'M SO--
I'M SO-- I'M SO SORRY.

IT'S ALL--
IT'S ALL RIGHT.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, DORINE.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.

WE COULD--
WE COULD TALK ABOUT IT.

LET'S TALK ABOUT IT.

I COULD HELP YOU.
I COULD HELP YOU.

I DON'T WANNA
TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE.

- I DON'T WANNA
TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE.
- [ Pager Beeping ]

[ Dorine Yelling ]

[ Screaming ]
NO !

DON'T HURT ME,
PLEASE !
[ Beeping Stops ]

PLEASE.
[ Crying ]
OH, GOD.

DORINE, LISTEN TO ME.
LISTEN TO ME.

PLEASE CALM--
CALM DOWN.

CALM DOWN.
YES.

YES.
[ Panting ]

DORINE,

YOU'RE NEVER GONNA
GET AWAY WITH THIS.

YES.

YOU HAVE TO STOP.
LET ME HELP YOU.

LET ME HELP YOU !
GIVE ME THE KNIFE !
[ Dorine Screaming ]

[ Both Screaming ]

[ Norah ]
NO ! NO !

NO !

[ Screaming Continues ]

[ Murmuring ]

N-O-R-A-H.

[ Modem Dialing ]

[ Modem Screeching ]

[ Phone Ringing ]

[ Beeps ]
HELLO ?
DANIEL ?

I CAN HEAR
SOMEONE BREATHING.
WHO IS THIS ?

WHO IS THIS ?

NO ONE, KIM.

NO ONE AT ALL.

DORINE !
DORINE, IS THAT YOU ?

[ Phone Hits Receiver ]
[ Beeping ]

YES, POLICE.
THERE'S A MURDER IN PROGRESS.

NO, I DON'T KNOW THE ADDRESS.
IT'S, UH--

HER NAME IS DORINE DOUGLAS,
AND SHE'S COMPLETELY INSANE.

PLE--
YES, I'LL HOLD.

[ Liquid Pouring ]

[ Soft Murmuring ]

[ Norah Gasping ]

THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING.

[ Gasping Continues ]
[ Murmuring ]

I'M SO SORRY
I MADE SUCH A BIG MESS.

[ Murmuring Continues ]

[ Gasping Continues ]

I REALLY APPRECIATE
THE HELP.

I'M NEW HERE.

[ Murmuring Continues ]

OH.

[ Phone Ringing ]

[ Ringing Continues ]

[ Ringing ]

[ Sirens Wailing ]

[ Meowing ]

[ Dorine Narrating ]
IF THERE IS ONE THING
I HAVE LEARNED,

IT IS ACCEPTING MY LIMITATIONS
WHILE ACCENTUATING MY STRENGTHS.

A NEW JOB AWAITS ME SOMEWHERE,

PERHAPS IN YOUR OFFICE.

I HOPE
THAT WE COULD GET ALONG.