Odd Couple (1979) - full transcript

The titular 'Odd Couple' are Sammo (King of Sabres) and Lau Kar Wing (King of Spears). They compete regularly against each other but every encounter results in a draw! Both decide to recruit young pupils and train them up. The late entry of the real villain, the smoldering Laughing Bandit who sports a big scar, has an even bigger grudge against the Kings of Sabres and Spear.

The 18 different weapons
in Chinese martial art

were founded by the Sun Wu
father and son during the Warring period.

There are the nine long
and nine short weapons.

The long ones are spear,
halberd, long stick, fork,

palm-shaped lance, finger-shaped lance,
horned fork, rake, spiked bat.

The short ones are saber,
sword, clutch, axe,

whip, cudgel, hammer, claw, hook.

The saber is the king of short weapons.

But the saber is a short weapon,
which is more risky to use.

Compared to a long weapon,
it has its disadvantages.

It is best to use it
for close-range combat only.



The saber user has to be courageous.

He also has to be aggressive
and attacking to win.

Hence the term Deadly Saber.

DEADLY SABRE

Spear is the king of long weapons.

The most lethal part of a spear
is at its point, a six-inch sharp blade.

It is best used for long-range combat.

A spear resembles a swift dragon-
when attacking, it has to kill.

Hence the term Lethal Spear.

LETHAL SPEAR

Production Manager Guy Lai Ying Chau
Written by Raymond Wong.

Starring Leung Kar-yan
Guest starring Dean Shek

Also starring
Hoi Sang Lee, Huang Ha, Peter Chan

Karl Maka, Lam Ching-Ying



Cinematography
Ming Ho

Action Directors
Yuen Biao, Lam Ching-Ying, Billy Chan

Directed by Lau Kar-Wing

KING OF SABRES

Don't run!

I want a wind-catcher.

- How many do you want?
- Two please.

Wind-catcher for sale!

Dog Face, I received this panel today.

I think it'll suit you more.

You're smart, all the good sabers
in the country are made here.

King Of Sabers
is an appropriate name for me.

You've misunderstood.
I'm giving it to you as fire wood.

No, don't waste it.

I'll hang it up.

I should remind you, if you hang it up,
you'll never have a quiet moment.

The busier I get, the harder I work.

I'm the King Of Sabers.

King of sabers? I'll chop.

- Impressive!
- That's nothing!

I've not drawn blood yet.

- Do you know who I am?
- I don't even know who I am.

I'm the Cloud Saber, Pak Chow.

Since you're the King of Sabers,
I'd like to challenge you!

Master Pak, please let me go.
I'm only a blacksmith, making sabers.

Hey! I thought the King of Sabers lived here.

You're right! Are you looking for him?

I'll go and get him, please wait here.

I'll be right back.

Something has gone wrong.

Silk for sale.

Old man, where is the King Of Sabers
of this village?

Brother, may I know
why you're looking for him?

Everyone says
the King Of Sabers is invincible.

I want to see if he can beat me.

So what if you win?

Then I'll be famous and respectable.
I can have whatever I want.

Ambitious guy.
Young men should all be like you.

- Do you read?
- Al little.

Look there.

Do you know those two characters?

- "Saber King".
- Does he look like the King Of Sabers?

Yes, very much.

Go for it then.

- What are you doing here?
- Cutting grass.

Waiter, get me a bowl of noodles.

Also, that guy talks a lot.

All talk and no action.
Don't be fooled by him.

I'm not here to listen to his story.

- You are...
- Shut up, I'm here to challenge you.

I am...

You're below, I am above.
Stop wasting time, let's fight.

- Let go.
- Why must I?

- Not letting go?
- No!

Is it your turn to cut the grass?

I'll cut your head next.

I'll cut your mouth
and let you bleed to death.

Why is my saber with you?

I wanted to know how heavy it was.
You can have it back.

Have you finished the saber
I asked you to make?

- Yes!
- Show it to me.

It's here.

- It's wonderful.
- Who are you?

Who are you two looking for?

The King Of Sabers.

He is the one.

If you've the guts, wait here.
I'll go and get my brother.

What about you?

I'll go and tell my granny.

Old man, I've been working
day and night to finish this saber.

- Tomorrow is the day...
- What day?

- 14th July.
- I almost forgot.

Why did you choose to duel
on a Ghost Festival?

You want to perform for the ghost?

We chose that day specially
because if we die

there'll be a lot of people
burning paper money for us.

Then I'll be a wealthy ghost.

Please take a seat inside.

- No loyalty, no filial piety.
- Kill.

- No humanity, no morality.
- Kill.

- From ages eight to 80.
- Kill.

- Big ones, little ones.
- Kill them all.

- Rather kill wrongly...
...than not at all.

Swordsman Wu,
I want you to kill someone for me.

Of course it's to kill someone.
I don't kill chickens.

- But...
- Shut up. Where's the money?

A total of 200 taels, I'll pay half of it first.

- Who is he?
- He's the King Of Spears.

He's inside.

Trying to set me up?

Brave man, I have the other
half of your reward.

You hired me to kill you.
You must be tired of living.

If you can win, this bag of silver is yours.

I don't win. I only Kill.

Great!

You're panting already.
You're not even worth five taels.

You're too lousy to be of any worth.

Trying to escape? You've not killed me yet.

When my son is born, he'll avenge this!

If that's the case,
take your rubbish with you and scram.

Swordsman Wu, how did it go?

Go and die.

Master, your skill with
the spear is really invincible.

It's too soon to say, I'll know better
after tomorrow's duel with that old man.

Wulin Sacred Place

- Useless old fool.
- Naive kid.

What new skills have you learnt this year?

Potato, tell him.

The five-pointed spear.

We've been fighting for the last 15 years-

you've a new skill every year-

but the result is always...

- What?
- A draw.

Humpback!

The spear.

Saber.

We seem to be evenly matched.

Someone lost his eyebrows!

You lost your whiskers too.

You had better get ready.

Time's up.

Can't you give it a minute more?

The time is up and it's another draw.

If I had a bit more time, I'd have killed you.

If I had a bit more time,
I'd have chopped you in two.

Emotion, emotion...

Emotion? It's sympathy.

I was having sympathy on you
for being pathetic or else I'd have killed you.

Stop blowing your own trumpet.

What do you think I am? A bird?

How much do you want to bet?

- 30 taels.
- 30 taels, OK.

- I want to add 5 taels.
- OK, a total of 35 taels.

Kill, kill!

If I were a bird, I would skin you alive.

If I were a bird, I would eat your innards.

Let's do it this way, we'll get
a student each and teach them all our skills.

Let them fight it out.

Good idea.
We know each other too well to Kill.

Our students will be strangers.
They won't let emotion get in the way.

Good, let's do it in ten years' time.

In ten years' time our students
will duel at Wulin Sacred Place.

Promise!

Herbs to clear your urinary tract.

Buy some oranges?

Master, do you want to buy oranges?
They're cheap and very sweet.

Stupid woman, we're here
to collect our protection fee.

Protection fee? To protect against what?

To protect your stall against thugs.
I'll collect one string a day.

Then you can have peace of mind.

I've been selling here for many years,
I've not had any trouble yet.

It's very different nowadays.

- I don't believe it.
- Really?

Are you buying something?

- Where is it?
- I don't know, look for it.

What are you looking for? Let me help you.

What are you looking for?
Stop messing around.

What are you doing?
Don't step on my oranges.

I can't find it, let's continue.

Don't throw my oranges.

I'll give you what you lost.

It's not the same one.

I beg you, stop it! I've a family to feed.

Please, please!

Saying a prayer? You'd better pray to me.

You aren't from the temple, why should 1?

You're right.
Even the temple needs my protection.

- Those stalls outside...
- He seems to be helping her.

OK, I'll give you the money.

OK.

Here.

Bastards, how can you bully an old woman?
I hate people who bully old women.

Now you'll be under my protection.

What luck. Not only have I lost my money,
the oranges too...

I'll slice the amount you ask!

Young man, doing good business?
Do you know what my motto is?

- What?
- You pay the amount we ask.

We'll see whose motto is better.
I'll slice you to pieces.

- Don't come near. I'll kill you.
- Hey!

Go and die.

Take this.

Guess! Where is it?

Here.

You're wrong.

It's here.

- It's not there.
- Where is it?

It's there.

I'll kill you.

Young man, your knife is
for slicing watermelon, not for killing people.

- Mind your own business, stupid old man.
- Scolding me?

Why are you so nosy?

I'll die, the whole blade is inside.

Old man, you said my knife
is not for killing people, look here.

Yes, it's inside but you haven't killed him.

Boss, are you all right?

The knife has gone in.

You seem fine.

- He has so many knives.
- Every one is sharp.

- See, I saved your life.
- I don't need your help, let me kill him.

Go and die. Where is my knife?

I'm here.

Look, I saved your life again.

You've ruined my watermelon.

Catch this.

Chop, another chop.

Put this on.

One knife, two knives,

another

and finally.

Deeper, deeper.

That'll teach you a lesson.

Please stop slapping me. Please, please.

Please don't kill me.

I won't kill without a reason.

Take that.

Old man, I've just saved your life.

- What did you say?
- We're even now.

- Boss, are you all right?
- Why are you so careless?

- I won't do it again.
- Remember not to do it again.

Boss, Boss.

You two bastards better scram now,
or I'll kill you both.

Leave any later and I'll kill you.

Young man, you're very brave.
Do you want to be my student?

Why should 1?

I saved your life earlier,
you still owe me a favor.

I saved your life too.

You're so heartless.

I never help anyone,
and I don't need any help.

Your family never taught you any manners?

No, both my parents died after I was born.

You're too inhuman.
Beware, you won't have any children.

I've not tried it yet, how should I know?

- You're still a virgin.
- So what?

- Then I insist that you be my student.
- Why?

You have no parents, no emotion,
no heart and no kids.

You're most suited for my style.

Stupid old man,
I own a house and a stall here.

Why should I be your student?
Please leave now or I'll kill you.

All right then, I'll leave.

There's a sheep by the stream...

My house!

Why is it burning? Such bad luck!

No water.

I'm done for.

- The fire is too strong, someone help.
- Young man, this might help.

It must be you who set my house on fire.

If you don't put the fire out now,
it'll turn to ashes.

Oh, no! Please help me put the fire out!

The fire god will be pleased with this.

The fire is burning brightly.

This way, put the fire out here.

Stupid old man, stay there. I'll kill you.

Here! Here!

Another spot.

Let's start another fire.
Hey, young man. Put out the fire here.

Stupid old man, I'll kill you.

Are you all right?

How dare you burn my house down?
Don't run.

Put the fire out first.

Don't go!

Excuse me! Stubborn Wing is going crazy.

- He has a knife with him.
- If 1 don't kill you I'll follow you.

To all our ancestors,
please protect our family against harm.

Please bring peace to the family.

- Are you here to pray as well?
- Yes, please continue.

You should be on your knees in front
of the ancestors,

asking me to be your Sifu.

Sifu? I'll chop you to pieces.

Die!

How long can you hold this?

Take it!

Kill.

Stubborn Wing, what are you trying to do?

- He's trashing the ancestral shrine.
- Oh, no!

I'll trash your shrine next.

Take that!

If you're smart, leave now.

Someone is trashing the shrine.

I'll chop you into 18 pieces.

Then I'll dice you into smaller pieces.

You missed.

I caught one.

Someone is trashing the shrine, stop him.

He's the one. Hurry, settle it.

- You...
- It's not me, it's him.

Beat him up!

- He's escaped.
- Go after him.

I've done nothing to that stupid old man,
but he's lost me my house.

The whole village is against me now.
I've nowhere to go.

Not yet.

You can either be my student
or carry this bowl and be a beggar.

I'll rather be a beggar than to follow you.

Look, you don't even have a bowl now.

- I'll still not be your student.
- Why?

I, Stubborn Wing, won't bow to anyone.

That means you won't give up easily.
You're an ideal student.

You hate me and would like to kill me, right?

- Yes!
- Your level of kung fu is far below mine,

how are you going to kill me?

If you want to take revenge,
you must learn all my kung fu

and also say your prayers every day

so that you'll live for a very long time,

otherwise you'll never be able
to take revenge.

Rest assured, I'll learn
all your kung fu and kill you.

Great, that's the right way to do things.

Come with me.

Boat man!

I'm coming.

Boat man!

Hurry! Please, Master.

- Please hurry.
- Yes, I am coming.

Fatty, you're very sharp.

Of course, the whole Teng village
knows my skill in rowing a boat.

Really? Can you poke one more time.

That's easy. Please watch carefully.

I poke from the left, I poke from the right.

I poke from the front, I poke from the back.

I poke anyhow, I poke anyway.

Are you happy?

Potato, give me my spear.

What do you want? Trying to rob my boat?

Fatty, can you aim for the point of my spear?

What's in it for me?

If you hit it, I'll give you this.

That's easy. OK!

- Go for it.
- I'll do it now.

You're only accurate
when the hole is not moving,

if something moves, you can't do it.

I got it.

This Fatty is quite intelligent.

I thought I was accurate.
The old man is much better.

Potato.

Thank you.

You're cheeky to aim for my private parts.

Luckily my Master is sharper than you.

He's only lucky.
Why don't I move and he tries to poke me?

- Great!
- OK, come and poke me.

If I can learn this old man's kung fu,

I'll be the toast of the Teng village.

He might be very intelligent.

If I take him on as a student too readily,
he might not treasure the chance.

I have to behave like a Sifu.
He shouldn't get it too easily.

Old... Old...

Old what?

Old master, old hero...
Can you take me as your student please?

- No!
- Why?

Because I've never thought
of having a student.

And you're not qualified
enough to be my student.

How can I qualify?

Potato, tell him.

To learn the five-pointed spear

you have to be helpless, aimless, jobless,
fearless and ruthless.

I have the five requirements.

Look at your size,
how could you be helpless?

I'm really helpless.
My dad died when I was young.

My mum followed him not long after.

I nearly went with them as well.

Am I not helpless?

But you own a boat?

The boat? OK.

Hey, I've even lost my boat now,
why are you leaving?

Sifu, I'm really helpless,
please take me as your student.

Stop being a pain, you aren't helpless.
Master said no! Go away.

I lost my boat because of you, I've nothing
left. Now you're turning me down.

I'm no pushover, I'll beat you up!

Yes, are you trying to intimidate me?

I'm used to being intimidated. Stupid!

Fatty, you do look fearless though.
Master, what do you think?

I'm not only fearless, I'm ruthless as well.

Master, he's the five points.

Master!

Master! Master!

He offered to carry that for us.

Come with us, quick.

Sifu!

I want to walk in the middle.

To learn the six-punt saber from me

you have to learn to hold a saber.

- Where's the saber?
- Wait, you have to learn to hold this first.

Hold a bird? That's easy.

- Try to hit me while holding the bird.
- OK.

It must be dead.

You're using too much strength.
You've killed that bird.

OK, try to be gentler now.

If you hold too tightly, the bird dies.
If you hold too gently, it flies away.

The same principle applies
to holding a saber.

- How can it be the same?
- Don't you trust me? Try this.

Even a saber can be damaged by
your brute strength, let alone a bird.

Look here!

When holding a saber
your hand has to be flexible.

Try again!

See how flexible you are!

That's great, let's try again.

I'll show you.

That's easy Sifu, I know that too.

- Why don't you do it?
- OK!

I poke at the front, I poke at the back.

The next move is easier.

Row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream...

Sifu, what do you think?

Stop being idiotic or go back to your boat.

What's wrong, Sifu?

You still move like a boatman.

You're so obsessed with rowing,
how can you learn the five-pointed spear?

I won't do it again.

Your skill isn't too bad, keep practicing.

Mind your own business. I'll keep practicing
just so I can kill you one day.

You're great!

Sifu, was I good?

Far from it? Practice harder.

All work and no play...

Hey! This saber is for killing
not for you to stare at.

It's not called the Deadly Saber for nothing.

- I wasn't staring at it.
- You've made a mistake.

- Mistake?
- Your movement revealed your weakness.

I could tell whether you're thin or thick,
long or short.

- So what?
- Even before you fight, I know your moves.

If you're the thin type,
your moves will be feeble.

If you're the thick type,
your moves will be aggressive.

The long type will attack from afar
and the short type will stay close.

- Understand?
- No. I don't.

What have I done to deserve this?

Stupid! You should've been more selective
in what you poke.

Ah Yo!

Master, I've found out.

Let's talk inside.

Master, you will be relieved.
That old man's student is about your size

but he is really good-for-nothing.

In what way?

Have a seat.

He might be lean and skinny
but his face doesn't resemble you at all.

Is that so?

Also, he's very stupid.

He doesn't even know
what Deadly Saber means.

We'll definitely win the next match.

- Really?
- Yes.

At least our Fatty Ah Yo knows
what Lethal Spear is.

Sifu, what is Lethal Spear?

If you have a duel with someone,
who would you prefer dead?

Of course him.

If he attacks you...

I'll pierce him with my spear.

- Pierce where?
- His vital part.

What is this called?

Lethal Spear.

That's the answer.

Now I know.

I'll kill you, fat old man. Don't run.

- What are you doing?
- Killing you.

That's enough.

Stubborn Wing, you can't touch me yet.

You need to practice harder.

Sifu!

Ah Yo, you've almost learnt all my kung fu.

Thank you, Sifu, for imparting
your skills to me.

Old man, where are you going?

You've almost learnt
all the moves of the six-punt saber.

What you lack now is experience.

If I don't go now,
you'll be able to kill me soon.

Old man, you must have severed
all your ties, where can you go?

I still have a godson, your godbrother.

Where is he?

I'm not telling you.

He must be a nobody.
Is he hiding somewhere in shame?

You're wrong there.
He's learnt the best techniques in spear.

Everyone from Wulin Sacred Place
knows that he's the King Of Spears.

King Of Spears?

Slip of the tongue.

I'll kill him first then I'll come for you.

Don't go! If you Kill him, I'll have no relatives.

You've been tricked.

You've learnt all the kung fu from me.
Go to the Wulin Sacred Place.

Look for the student of King Of Sabers.
You have to defeat him.

I'll give you a new name now.
The King of Spears.

Wulin Sacred Place

Hey, waiter, give me a pot of Lung Jing tea.

Master, look at that girl.

Where is she?

- Over there.
- I see her.

- Brother Orange.
- Oh, yes?

That girl shakes her bum twice
every three steps.

You see her bum before seeing her face.

She must be Ah Yo.

What's Ah Yo?

All the girls from the floating village
are called Ah Yo.

If you call her Ah Yo, you'd not be wrong.

Are these oranges sweet?

Ah Yo.

Ah Yo!

- Are you trying to kill me?
- Ah Yo!

Go and die.

So rude.

Let me handle it. Hey, how dare you?

Everyone in this region knows him.

Master Rocking.

Master Rocking!

- Trying to escape? Chase.
- Chase!

CASH ONLY

- Waiter!
- Yes, sir, what can I do for you?

I want a bowl of this.

This dish?

- We don't have it.
- Hurry.

Where is she?

She must be hiding there.

Ah Yo.

Snubbing me?

Don't assume you are safe here.

If I prance forth, you'll have no escape.

I'm rocking, I'm rocking...

Master, be careful.

Who are you?

I'm Ah Yo.

Ah Yo!

Why has our Wulin Sacred Place
become a floating village?

One Ah Yo after another.

Is there another one?

Are you scared?
You lot take care of the fat one.

- The slim one is for me to rock.
- Charge.

What a mess!

Why are you so useless? Charge.

Are you giving me an order?

- You charge.
- I can't.

No excuse. Go!

Help, don't hit me.

I said I can't do it.

I have to tackle both the fat and the slim.

I'll rock, rock and swing.

I'll pull and push and tear.

I'll rock and rock. Rock and rock.

I got one. Hold on to it.

- Come on!
- How dare you, Fatty?

An egg.

Are you full now?

I'll rock, I'll rock. I'm full and I'll rock.

I'm very full.

Are you really full?

Yes, I am.

- Do you feel better now?
- Much better.

How do you feel?

What should we do now?

I'm scared, I'm scared. Let's leave.

Let's go, I'm scared. Let's go.

- Brother, what would you like to eat?
- Everything except eggs.

Mister, what are you doing?

Nothing, nothing.

- Waiter, give me a pot of tea.
- Coming.

- Dinner at mine tonight?
- My pleasure.

Mister.

I wanted a pot of tea,
why give me a chamber pot?

That customer asked me to give you this.

- He said you have a weak bladder.
- I don't want this. Go away.

Master said, if I were exposed,
I had to open the first puzzle.

Beware of spies behind you.

IllFight!'ll

Stupid young man.
How dare you expose my identity?

- What are you doing?
- If someone exposes my identity, I kill them.

I'm the Golden Spear.

Hey, kid, your technique is not too bad.

That's nothing, I know
someone who's better.

I'll go and challenge him now.

Who is he?

King Of Spears.

- Him?
- Are you challenging him too?

- You're third in the queue.
- Why?

Everyone knows that he fights
King Of Sabers at the Wulin Sacred Place.

I'll be next to fight.

- If you want, we can go together.
- OK.

I'll rock...

and rock and rock.

I'll rock, rock, rock...

Hey! Look.

Master, is it him?

Not this one. Ah Yo isn't this shape.

Ah Yo!

- Old, oh...
- Coming.

Master Rocking, can I help?

Where's the Ah Yo I defeated earlier?

- He's left.
- Where is he?

- He's gone to the inn.
- Inn. Let's go get him.

I'll rock, I'll rock...

- Are you afraid of him?
- Afraid of who?

That one is King Of Spears.

King Of Spears?

What are you thinking? Chase.

WULIN INN

- Waiter.
- Yes, Mister.

Is there a King Of Sabers in the area?

Yes, there is a self-proclaimed
King Of Sabers.

- Who is he?
- One of Master Rocking's bodyguards.

What's his name?

- He's Wu Li. Good with single saber.
- Wu Li Single Saber?

- His partner is Tiger. Good with spears.
- Tiger Spear?

Everyone in the region knows that
Wu Li Single Saber and Tiger Spear

are an invincible duo.

Without them, Master Rocking
wouldn't have the courage

to be so ruthless in Wulin Sacred Place.

You're asking for it.

It's nothing to do with me.

It's not me.

I smell roast duck.

Master, your foot.

I'm sorry.

It's Fatty.

Oh, my God.

Fight.

Where did you get the guards?

- From the opera.
- Are they famous?

They were, but got fired for having an affair.

Sounds good.

Wu Li Single Saber.

Tiger Spear.

Stand up!

Kneel down.

You shouldn't have. Please rise.

Who are you? Making fun of me?

He's the King Of Sabers, Stubborn Wing.

- Who are you?
- The King Of Spears, Tiger.

Tiger Spear?

Are you scared now?

If you're afraid, scram. If not, fight.

You're the shit-stirrer.
You caused all this mess.

So what?

- Thank you.
- My pleasure.

Are you performing?

Your choreography is only good to watch.

Let me show you.

Let's go, let's go.

You're despicable.

I dare you.

I dare not.

- Ah yo!
- Calling me?

I didn't.

- Calling me again?
- 1 didn't.

Be careful!

Yes, don't hurt him.

I told you not to hurt him.

Show is over.

Bite this.

- Thank you.
- My pleasure.

Sifu said that the King Of Sabers is skilful.

- I beat him without using my spear.
- He's not the one. The real one is outside.

Is that so?

You're done with him?

This man won't dare to be a bully again.
Isn't that so?

- Speak up!
- Yes!

Mum!

Mum...

The King Of Spears is nothing much.

Young man. Who's nothing much?

Who are you?

You're the one I'm looking for.

- Yes, it's me. So?
- Let's fight then.

What's the rush? July 14th is tomorrow.

I don't need to find
an auspicious date to fight.

- Me neither.
- But you don't fight here.

Please follow me.

Let's go.

Ready!

What are you doing?

Who is their Sifu?

- King of Spears and King Of Sabers.
- No wonder they fight like the old men.

Potato!

That's enough. Hold them hostage.

The old men will come and save them.

SMILE

Security.

Be quiet.

Be smart. Tell me softly,
where are the two young men?

There? Where?

Speak up. Are you dumb?

Brother, you asked me to speak up,

he asked me to be quiet,
who should I listen to?

Stupid old man.

He's fainted.

Old man, are you here to save your student?

No, he took my spear,
I'm here to get it back.

Old trick.

Hey! What are you here for?

How strange.
I'm also here to get my saber back.

Old trick.

Hey! Why don't you come with me?

It's dark here. You're too old to see.
Why don't you follow me?

- Aren't you Old Yellow Dog?
- No, I'm now called Laughing Bandit.

I lost to the two of you
separately 15 years ago.

I had to retire from Jianghu.

I made a vow then to use
the blood of you both to cleanse my shame.

Thanks to Buddha, you two aren't dead yet.

- Hell doesn't accept me.
- Heaven rejects me.

How should we die?

Who are those four?

I trained them to deal with you two fools.

They are

Tien,

Ha,

Mo,

Ti.

- Tien has power of the sky.
- Ha is killing without mercy.

- Mo is like a tidal wave.
- Ti destroys enemies with ease.

- Tien is going to the sky.
- Ha is killing no one.

They are headless and brainless.

Can't tell the good from the bad.

Tien, Ha, Mo, Ti.

Will die very soon.

Get us if you can.

Kill.

Come on.

- You please.
- Thank you.

Old man!

You two morons,
can't you let me catch my breath? I'll kill you!

What are you doing?
I don't need your help. He's mine.

We're even now.

Take that.

You didn't give me a chance to breathe.

You want to breathe now? No way.

Still breathing?

- Old man, it's done now.
- Not yet.

Panting? You two are old now.

In the past, I couldn't beat either of you.

It's different now.

Now you can't beat me
even if you combine forces.

You're nuts.
We don't need to team up to beat you.

You're right.
I can handle you single-handed.

Stop blowing your own trumpet.

I don't need to blow my own trumpet.
I'm known to be good.

Yes, don't blow your own trumpet.
Let me deal with him.

How can you beat someone with that spear?

It might be better to use it to stir shit.

What are you laughing at?
Let's see who can chop better.

- Come on.
- I'm not scared of you.

I nearly Killed him...

Shut up. Let me finish the job.

Useless saber.

- Wow.
- Wow what? At least my blood is thicker.

Stay out of the way.

- Are you OK?
- His kick hurts me but it might Kill you.

Old men, don't die yet.
Why don't you team up?

I don't need to team up with anyone.

If it's not for him distracting me,
I'd have killed you.

- Go and save your student.
- Eh?

Save my student too.

- Sifu.
- You got caught so easily, useless bum.

Look at me, I'm still OK.

- Your blood?
- I'm OK.

Potato was right.
That old man's student is lean and skinny.

Not like me at all.

I made a better choice.

- Sifu, I am fitter, right?
- You wish.

Open the lock yourself, save him too.

- Why did you come in?
- I was worried for you.

You've brought him here,
now we can't escape. Get lost!

You two better team up
or else you'll die sooner.

Don't waste your breath on him.
Let me kill him.

Are you going to help the old men?
They've been mean to us.

He's very kind to me.

If he was kind he wouldn't have
pushed us to fight each other.

- Your Sifu?
- I don't care.

Run if you can. Even I'm no match for him.

Sifu, Sifu, Sifu...

You've finally called me Sifu.

Sifu.

I'll kill you even with my last breath.

Get out of here. Quick.

Sifu.

Go, I'm fine.

Go now!

Sifu.

- Go!
- Go!

- Go!
- Go!

- Quick, get out of here.
- Go now!

- Sifu.
- Let's go, you want to die?

Luckily the old man died before me!

I'd never die before you.

Hey! Where are you going?

- Looking for Laughing Bandit.
- Just like that?

- Why not?
- Even our Sifu's were no match to him.

If you go like that you'll be killed.

If you're afraid, go back to being a boatman.

You saw it, his technique
with the saber is impressive.

If your Sifu had blocked him with the spear,
my Sifu would have killed him.

I know that, a boat with two rowers
would be faster than a boat with one.

Wow, it's great fun!

- Hey! I want to play too.
- Come on.

Let me have a look.

Go for that one.

- Yes, that's the way.
- 1 gotit, I got it.

Master, those two young chaps
are here again.

You two are really fearless.

We're not only fearless, we are...

...ruthless as well.
- You're dead now.

- You didn't even bring your weapons.
- We did. Invisible saber.

Spear Hand. One that can rotate.

Rotating Spear Hand?
Let me teach you a lesson.

Hold on.

If you've the guts, come with us.

- Can't run further?
- Yes. So what?

See if you can beat my Spear Hand.

Wasn't that awesome?

Look at my Invisible Saber!

I'm sorry.

How dare you spit on me!

To fulfill the dreams of our Sifu's,
we should have a duel as well.

We've made the same mistake as our Sifu's.

If I'd not known you before,
I'd have killed you earlier.

Let's do it this way.

Whoever can stick his weapon
into their Sifu tomb wins.

What do you think?

I think... I think... Into Sifu's tomb?

OK!

Sifu! I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I didn't lose. That's great!

It's a draw. It's a draw.

Not a draw!
I got my saber in the tomb before you fell.

- What?
- What?

Didn't you see I stuck my spear in
at the same time?

I did it first...

The Deadly Saber and the Lethal Spear
will never be the king of weapons

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