O Palmenbaum (2000) - full transcript

Kati and Jonas have planned to get married secretly during their Christmas trip to Mauritius - but in the end, Kati's entire family gets wind of the plan and shows up at the airport to accompany them.

Here we go again!

- What?
- Well, the Christmas fuss.

Now you take me to the theater, and
then we meet at the Japanese restaurant.

Across from the theater, in the alley.
And be on time! Kathi made a reservation.

I'm not here for my own
pleasure, but for a job!

A whole estate.

30 semi-detached houses!
Do you know what that means?

I can imagine. One looks straight
into the other's toilet.

Or in the bedroom, through
the panoramic window.

Bullshit!

There's a garden gnome in the front,
and a barbecue in the back.



The swing is next to the mini-biotope.

That's bad?

And in the evening, the estate
shines magically in the blue TV light.

Why are you so sarcastic?
People like to live like that.

Besides, it brings us a lot of money.

Hopefully.

Maybe so.

But I don't understand
why you support bad taste.

You know what it's like to live
in such a bourgeois house.

Ah, now I get it! This is
about Omama, am I right?

Luise, come on. Be nice once a year!
You ignore her the rest of the time.

- And her birthday?
- Alright: twice a year.

- Do you have a present for her?
- Me? She's YOUR mother!

Typical. I don't have time!



- Let's buy something in town.
- Can't, I have an appointment.

That can't take that long.
Tell them that your wife...

Luise, I won't be coming.

But I'll pick you up, so we
can get to mama's in time.

If you don't want to go,
you can go to your mother alone.

And you can tell her yourself why we're
not celebrating Christmas this year!

I've had it!

Luise!

Do you have something
particularly awful?

This is our hit: the dream villa
'Habanera'.

The house for every season.

- Which means?
- Which means...

This villa replaces every vacation!

A staircase like in Schönbrunn...

Baroque railing like in Tuscany,
naturally prefabricated parts...

Natural stone wall like in Canada,
barbecue area like in Spain...

... and panoramic panes made from
pine wood - well, aluminium really.

What kind of style is that?

What do you mean by style?

Well...

This mixture... what would you call it?

Well... 'Ibiza alpine'!

Ibiza alpine. And you like it?

Of course I like it! And not only me!

This villa is in the spirit of the times.

I mean, the tastes and wishes
of our customers.

One has a cultural-political task.

The people want to be educated.

They do, do they? By you?

Is there some misunderstanding here?
I think you have a problem.

Yes, and a name.

A good name. Good day!

He never has time for me!

But I'm supposed to darn his
socks and take care of his kids!

They're yours too.

And get a present for his
mother! I've had enough!

Getting married was
the worst idea I ever had!

I swear, never again! Never
again will I marry such a...

.. Son of a bitch?

What are you doing here?

Excuse me! Shoes off, please!

Oh, yeah.

You're more important to me
than this awful settlement.

- What did you tell them?
- I told them...

...I don't condone this
philistine tastelessness.

I have a name to defend.
Hello, Kathi!

- Our name!
- Greetings!

We don't need to earn
our money with crap.

I have enough to do.

You did that for me?

Yes.

Joe, if you were to ask
me today - I'd say yes again!

Now, before we all burst into tears...

we 've got some news for you.

- Jonas and I...
- Kathi and I...

We are getting married!

No!

Finally!

Why?

When? Where?

In church? In white?
Who's the bridesmaid?

Mommy will have a fit.
She can finally show off again!

Nope. Mommy won't be there.

Why not?

Because we're getting married
in Mauritius. Alone. Without family.

Alone?

Without me?

Without your sister?

I told you, everyone will feel slighted.

Slighted?

Not only slighted!
I'm deeply offended!

My little sister!

You carried the train at
my wedding! And now?

Luise, no offense.

It's just that... the whole family...
Mommy... Aunt Maureen...

And Jonas' mother
hates me anyway.

And then Omama!

- What does Omama have to do with it?
- She is also part of the family.

But I am your family! Why Mauritius,
of all places! When are you going?

From December 12 to 25.
Half-board, room with a view.

You can get married in the European,
Buddhist or Indian style.

Great!

- You'll be there for Christmas?
- Yes!

Yes... we figured that it's all one.
That way there's no stress.

What about me?

You leave me all alone,
stuck with everything?

- I would take you in a heartbeat...
- Then we'll go with you!

To Mauritius. Let's do that.

Are you serious?

I'm dead serious.

But on one condition:
Not a word to mommy!

Or the wedding's off!

And what's that?

Surprise!

Hansl, there you are! Come in!

Greetings, Omama.

Greetings.

Can I have some schnapps?

Yes, you can have some schnapps!

Nobody mentioned a meal!
Just a coffee.

- Hansl, will you get the potato salad?
- Yes, mama!

Give her that small pleasure.

Ooh, what is this?

Your Christmas present.

Why? It's not Christmas yet.

Joe's had such a busy year.
Nothing but work!

Running from one site to the next!
Without a minute's vacation.

He needs it bad!

You have to look after yourself, boy!
Luise is right.

And so, Joe needs to have
some rest and relaxation.

Without stress, without quarrels...

I've never caused stress, me.
Only you - or your mother.

Not again!

Are you telling me I'm going
to be alone at Christmas?

Mama, it's not that bad. Luise is right.

I'm tired and exhausted.
I need my rest.

Then I'll just come for a little while.
You won't even notice me.

I'll be very quiet, if you want.

But the children, the children
must have their feast.

That won't be possible.
We'll all be in Mauritius.

- In where?
- Mauritius.

For Christmas?

And me? What about me?

Nothing, mama. We won't stay long.
Two weeks at the most.

You'll do that for Joe, won't you?

Two weeks of warmth!
He doesn't like winter, am I right?

I can't believe you agree to this.

You didn't get it from me!
Things were different back home.

You were always so happy
about the first snow!

Snowdrops, white curls!

- Stop it and open your present!
- I don't need a present!

I am unhappy.

- I don't see you the whole year long...
- Mama!

Mama? Is that all you can say?

Yes, I am your mother!

Who knows for how much longer,
as much as my feet hurt!

And my back!

The doctor said that's
not normal at my age.

And that I should take a cure!
But I can't afford it!

Unfortunately!

No clinic under palm trees for me.
Not even Oberlaa! [Viennese spa]

You don't care, as long as you're happy!
How much does that cost, anyway?

Boboda got a trip to DomRep
from her grandson.

- It cost 6,000 schillings! [€ 440]
- Where to?

DomRep. That's in the Caribbean.

That's where they make those
beautiful films with the doctor.

Boboda had a good time.
She turned black like a negro.

Open that stupid present already!

Oh Lordy, how nice!
The saints and the baby Jesus!

You're such a good boy!

That wasn't necessary!

That was Luise's idea.

Come on, all that money!

And you work so hard
for it - all by yourself!

Now eat something.

Thank you, but we have just eaten.

Hansl never says no to fried chicken.

Fried chicken and potato salad!

We had it every sunday.

I alwasys saved that up!

During the week we ate
potatoes and vegetables.

But Sunday was always chicken day!

Why aren't you eating?

Do you have a nut schnapps?

I feel sick.

That's what Pop used to drink.

Here you go.

All right, I understand. Write me
a postcard from Mauritius.

Mauritius... that's where Kathi
was going, before Jonas left her.

Jonas didn't leave Kathi!

No? I thought he had found
another girl to take care of him.

He didn't!

A doctor needs much love at home.

I know that from the series...
the one with the pediatrician.

Jonas and Kathi are getting
married in Mauritius.

And you're going?
And Lilibeth is coming too?

No, mommy... mommy?

Lilibeth doesn't know anything.

Why not?

Because they want to be alone.
That's their right.

And you keep quiet, since Luise
can't keep her mouth shut!

You keep quiet!

Did you hear me?

I won't tattle. You know me.

But I feel sorry for Lilibeth.

Mom, I'm warning you!

I'll take the secret to my grave.

That won't be necessary.

Joe, come on! The children are waiting.

- Wait, wait!
- What now?

That was supposed to be for Christmas.
Let me give it to you now.

Here you go.

You can open it.
It's nothing fancy.

For the kids.

An Opapa and an Omama.

As a souvenir.

I don't even know where you will stay!

What if something happens to me?

We'll stay at the hotel
"Les Pavillons".

I'll believe it when I get there!

- What a shitty year this has been!
- You could say that.

Kids aren't what they
used to be either.

- Allergies, bedwetting, bladder worm...
- Yuck!

Yes, and the mental disorders!
And the hysterical mothers!

And school stress... and to crown it
all, the same epidemic every year.

Chickenpox.

The stress is to blame.

People are going crazy.
Nobody has time for the other.

No one helps the other.

- Daddy, can I have some money?
- No.

- But I need it.
- How much?

- Only 500 schilling. [€ 40.-]
- No.

You are mean! Other kids
have their own bank account.

Other parents have debts.

500 spent is 1000 earned.

- And to earn 1000 you have to...?
- Work.

- Because money...
- Does not grow on trees!

I wanted to buy a wedding
present for Kathi.

- That's so sweet!
- Jonas, it's wrong!

Oh, just once!

One time? You poor fool!

You don't know what's coming!
They'll bag you!

It's different with us.
Kathi earns good money too.

Yeah, until the little ones come along.
She wants kids, doesn't she?

That's not an issue right now.

But it will be. And maternity
leave money doesn't last long.

It's not much.

Cheers!

Ugh, bitter!

A Campari Orange, please!

My watch is broken. They have one
on sale there, waterproof to -1000 m!

And what are you gonna do
down there? Watch TV?

If I'm going to take a diving class,
I will need a diving watch.

Diving class?

Why do you think I'm going?
Because of you?

You cheeky, spoiled brat!

Others your age have to work, help out!

When I think of those poor kids,
weaving carpets day and night!

- And then you...!
- Now you're exaggerating.

High time I got away.

I'm paranoid! I see mommy everywhere.

Mineral water, please.

Why the long faces?

Do you even know where we are?
We're flying to Mauritius!

We alone! Just us!

Actually, I feel bad for Mommy.

For Mommy?

She doesn't deserve you
lying to her. She's our mother!

She should have come with us.
She's always been there for us.

Luise, enough. Let's drink up
and then head to the check-in.

The check, please.

- I don't care if I stay.
- Get a grip!

Thanks!

Jonasserl! Wait!

Why is your mother coming?

I told her.

What?! We agreed...

If I can't be there, I want
at least to say goodbye.

I have a wedding present for you.

Don't make a fuss.

- Kathi wants to be alone with me.
- Me? YOU didn't want any family fuss!

Jonas has a functioning
family, unlike you!

- He would never exclude us.
- Say something!

Where is dad?

At the office. He told me not to...

You know, dad is really hurting!

Cuff links!

Golden ones!

Dad wore them at our wedding.

We're marrying Indian style.
He has no use for cuff links.

What? Indian?

Why? What do you mean?

Me in a sari, him in a turban.

- And that's valid?
- That's final.

And if you'll excuse us,
they are boarding.

We'll be back in two weeks and
make up for everything! I promise.

I can't believe you're doing this to me!
The most beautiful day in a mother's life!

And all because of her!

Jonas, I'm going to Mauritius.
Even without you!

She doesn't mean it.
Bye bye! Don't cry. Don't cry!

What a snake!

Was that necessary? Couldn't
you have been a little kinder?

YOU didn't keep your word!
It's YOUR fault she's offended!

Yes, offended!

I saved my mother from that,
because she doesn't know anything.

I keep agreements! Don't blame me!

We're off to a good start.

Poor mother of Jonas.

That's life: Some come, others go.

He is her only son.

I never realized you were so... humane!

The money for your mother
was my idea, too.

You ransomed us.

- Nonsense, that was from the heart.
- And from the housekeeping money.

- I knew it!
- What?

Have fun.

Mommy...

Oh, is Lilibeth coming too?

No, that's a mistake.
This is not Lilibeth.

Sissi! Here I am!

Mommy, what are you doing?

I'm checking in.

What do you mean?

I won't let you marry just like that.

Mommy, we want to be alone...
And anyway, who told you that?

I know, kids. It can be awful,
so many strangers!

- That's why Mitzerl and I...
- What Mitzerl?

Where is she?

Mitzerl!

Mitzerl!

Come on, or they'll leave without us!

Keep your composure, child.

Don't be angry. It was her idea.

You don't have to apologize.

It is my right as a mother
to invite Mitzerl.

- Invite her? Where to?
- To Mauritius.

- To the hotel... what's it called?
- Uh... from the bible... Babylon.

That's right, 'Les Pavillons'.
Where you're staying.

And where are you sitting?

What? In our hotel?
How do you know...

I know it from Mitzerl,
and she knows it from Joe.

Business class? At these prices,
that's exaggerated!

Joe wants to make us happy.

If you say so... what a waste of money!

Would you mind taking a
picture of me and my family?

Come here, all of you!
A souvenir photo. Come on, Gregor!

Mitzerl, come here!

Photos? Puke!

Sissi, push your hair
out of your forehead.

Mitzerl, come next to me!

Everybody smile!

Just because your mother
can't keep her mouth shut!

MY mother?
YOU had to open your trap!

Don't talk to me in that tone!

Why did you have to bring up Kathi!

I did not! She said that
Jonas had left Kathi!

You're ruining everything!
But not with me, not with me!

I won't let her spoil
my well-earned vacation!

Not my mother-in-law!

Are you finished?

Finished? This is just the beginning!

You want to kill her? What do you want?

You'll see.

Luiserl!

Luiserl...

Towards the sun!

I'm supposed to accept that?
Your mother is pushy and tactless.

She is not pushy!

Jonas, do you mind?
I can't do it.

Mommy!

Against thrombosis. You never know,
on such a long flight.

Maureen always takes it when
she visits her sister in Canada.

You ought to know that.
You're a doctor.

Ow! You're hurting me!

For a pediatrician, you're rough!

I hope you know who you're marrying!

Maybe we should think it over.

My ears hurt!

Swallow a bit!

Luise, where are the ear drops?

Daddy!

Just a minute.

Luise!

That's so typical again! Useless
crap, but no ear drops!

That's your mother for you!

Other side!

All right.

Mitzerl, you must keep your seatbelt
fastened! We're still climbing!

Mitzerl, what are you doing?

You can't leave now!
Please stay, Mitzerl!

Hansl!

Hansl! I'm scared!

I'm so afraid!

Mama, it's forbidden!

Tell her I want out! I want out!

Switch places, quick.

Just a moment. This is my mother.

Hansle!

Hansle... I'm going to be sick.

Please don't make a fuss!

I'm not making a fuss, I'm scared!

Breathe.

I didn't want to!

It was all Lilibeth's idea!

Oh God, no!

Will it take much longer?

Look what I've got!
I emptied the toilets!

Now I have toothbrushes
for the next three years!

And the razors are for Hansl.

Jonas, we are in Heaven!

Guess not.

Miss! Mauritius?

What?

Jessas naa!

Hansl!

Hansl, look! Don't sleep!

Look! Hansl!

What is it now?

We are in Paradise!
With the Christ!

That's why you woke me up?

- Girl, you want some too?
- "Eau de Granny"? No thanks!

It's called Oil of...

Mommy calls it "Eau de Granny",
and she says it stinks.

It's good enough for me. And I have
less wrinkles than your mommy.

Shush, she's coming!

One more remark like that, child,
and you're flying back to Vienna.

Good morning, my darling!

Now, let's all pull ourselves
together and be a little cheerful!

There's my surprise outside!

The kids and we are going
by helicopter to the hotel!

- What, a helicopter?
- Cool! Mega-cool!

We're taking the bus
we had ordered.

A bus? Lame-O.
And it makes me sick.

Please, can I ride with you?

- That's not for me!
- If you say so...

Then it's only me and the kids.

The kids are going with us, as planned.
Come on, we're the last on board!

Take Omama's things
and your crap! Come on!

Impossible!

Luise! I'm waiting!

Mauritius is waiting!

You are rude and ungrateful!

I go to all this trouble, and...
what's the matter?

- Nobody asked you to...
- Jonas! Control yourself!

Is that so? If I had known
that you would react like this...

...I wouldn't have flown into this heat!

I guess it was your idea to get married
out here, in the middle of nowhere?!

Exactly! It should have been the two
of us, alone in the middle of nowhere.

But it failed - thanks to you!
Come on, Kathi.

Kathi, don't leave me alone!

A flight could be fun.

No thanks! That's not
the way it was planned!

I knew you wouldn't leave me!

Ceinture, Madame!

La ceinture!

Ceinture!

Ah, the belt! Yes, yes.

The belt.

We already know that.

Would you believe it, Hansl?
They also have belts! Like us!

They are not savages, mom.

Of course not.
Although... he is a bit dark.

Mom!

I checked it out:
Mauritius is part of Africa.

The population is made up of:
white Christians, like us - 4%!

50% are Hindus,
that is, Indians.

There are also a few Chinese,
who have their Buddha.

Mom, will you stop that!

The rest are from Madagascar.
They were terribly poor.

They were slaves.

But today, everyone gets along.

Not like us, back in Europe
with the Yugoslavs.

Today this is a peaceful
mixture of peoples.

Oooh!

Look, how cute! So small!

Mmmh! And so sweet already!

If you have to marry this man,
and here of all places...

The wedding had better be
in good taste, at least.

- What will you be wearing?
- A sari.

A sari? Why?

You're not hippies!

I had a silk costume specially made.
Off-white, you know? Eggshell color!

So you can't show up in some gaudy rag!

And the... what's his name?
Jonas? Is he wearing a loincloth?

Mommy. Either you do
what we want, or...

Or what? Would you prefer
that I wasn't there?

To marry without your own mother?

Style-less? Like a nobody?

Mommy, I know why you are here.

To show off in front of Omama.
She cannot afford this herself.

And so you can flaunt pictures,
you in Mauritius.

You don't care about the wedding.
Not about me and Jonas.

If I would have known that!
If I would have expected that!

I was only ever there for you!

Do you smell that? The air
is completely different here.

Like... Like in the jungle!

Me Tarzan, you Jane!

It's beautiful.

It's like paradise!

Oui, madame! C'est un paradis.

Did you hear that, Hansl?

He understands me!

The problem with mama will be solved.

But the trees! Nothing but palm trees!

Where will we find a Christmas tree?

Bonjour. Bienvenus!

Greetings! Pleased to meet you.

This is where we live?

In this palace?

It's just a hotel.

Watch your step!

Wonderful!

Thank you.

If Pop could have lived to see this!

It's nice. Really nice.

Bad?

Maybe she can't stand
the heat and the spicy food.

At her age, a trifle
is often all it takes.

A shrimp or something...
can work wonders.

You just have to make sure
that she eats enough.

Jesus! It's like Schönbrunn,
only much nicer!

Hansl, that I can see this!
You are a good boy!

You have to thank Lilibeth
for that, Mama.

This is really a paradise,
created by man!

- Wait, a welcome photo!
- Not again!

Line up, everyone.

Jonas, be so good! Since you
are not part of the family yet.

Sissi, next to me! Get your
hair out of your forehead!

Gregor, don't make such a face!

Kathi stands next to me,
and Mitzi goes to Joe.

Luiserl! Luiserl!

- Luise!
- Oh well, guess not.

- Hurry, Jonas!
- It's not working.

What do you mean, not working?
You just have to press the button.

- As I said, not working.
- Ridiculous, it's been working for years!

The battery is probably dead.

What battery? It's not a car...

As for the room arrangement...

The children are back there,
there's Luiserl, there's Mitzerl...

... there's Kathi, and up there...
that's my room.

That's how I imagined it!
Exactly like that!

What's that?

This is where we live. You heard it.
That's for Lilibeth, the kids, us...

And you're there.

It's just like our village!

All next door to each
other! Like at home!

Hansl, look! Now we are
all together again.

This is really the sea!
The ocean!

The Indian ocean!

Hansl, are there any sharks?

Two or three at most.

Luiserl!

Luiserl!

Talk to me! It's me, your husband!

Luise!

To the pool!

What is it?

You're crying.

It's not that bad.

What did the poor old woman do to you?
Nothing. Let her enjoy herself.

For once with her children...
she had such a hard life.

Hansl! Luiserl!
Look what I found!

A starfish! A real starfish!
A miracle of nature!

What's wrong with her?
She's acting so strange.

Throw it back into the sea!

Are you dumb? I'll dry
it and take it with me!

As a souvenir.
For the neighbors.

There are real sharks out there!

Not in the lagoon! Only out there,
where Gregor and Jonas will dive.

Murderer! That's cruelty to animals!
Throw him back into the sea!

No, I found it! It's mine!

Look, the poor starfish is still alive!

Uggh!

♪Starfish, I salute you... ♪

I'm going to puke!

Oh, thank God!
I thought you'd lost your tongue!

I talked to the maitre d'.
We're all at the same table.

At 7:30 pm, table number 2!

Adequate attire is required,
says the maitre d'.

Aqua... what? Who says what?
What about the clothes?

The chef says you should
dress decently. No shorts.

And no apron.

That goes without saying.
In a house like this.

A picture with the whole family, please!

Merci!

What is this? Is it plastic?

They think that I can't
sit down by myself.

No, that's the way it should be.

That's a nice dress you're wearing.
Very tasteful.

And the coral... original!
The latest fashion.

The dress was really cheap!
It was on sale at the sewing shop.

I go there often,
because he knows his stuff.

I'm not interested in
frippery - not like you.

I never had time for that.

But your dress is also very nice.

It must be one of those synthetics
you don't have to iron.

Doesn't make you sweat either.

The necklace is beautiful! Is it real?

You bet it is!
Here's the story:

Before your dad was born, I didn't
know what I was gonna get.

Not like today, with those machines.
Now you can pick what you want.

I had wished for a girl.

- Waiter! The menu, please!
- Can't you wait?

Nothing wrong with wishing, is there.

But when you were born,
I was overjoyed!

Because he had all four limbs.
But he was not a girl.

So I secretly bought the
bracelet and the necklace.

Because corals bring good luck!

And what do I have today?
Now I even have two girls!

You and you!

And so... wait a minute...

Do you want it?

Yes, I remember! We also
had a maid. Faninka.

It was called "maid jewelry"

It was a servant's superstition
that corals brought luck.

They were cheap, too.

Mommy, please!

Now we go to the buffet!

Hansl, hold it!

I have to take my necklace...

- What is this?
- Mussels.

But... This is not plastic!

This is...

That's...

Ice!

Hansl, look what they
carved out of ice!

How is that possible? That
was made by a real artist!

An artist! A sculptor!

Nonsense! They pour water
into molds and freeze them.

Everybody knows that!

I don't believe it!

- There are no freezers that big.
- Exactly!

Come on, mama!

What's that then?

Lobster, mama.

And... and I can have that?

All of it! Take as often
and as much as you want.

Enjoy it!

Even more? But girl,
I can't eat all that!

Who knows when you'll get
something like that again?

Sissy! You wait until everyone
is at the table! Here too!

Bon appetit!

Thank you!

I've never seen anything like it!

So many things to eat!

I don't know most of them.

The colorful fish from the aquarium!

Look at that! The vegetables!

They even have pork, too!

That's international cuisine!

That's it? A few pieces from a can?

I don't do a fattening cure just
because it's all-you-can-eat.

You are batty! Would be a shame
to waste all that money.

Have some of mine!
That's ridiculous.

Once won't hurt.

And now a toast, to Lilibeth.

Why?

To Lilibeth, whose generosity
and warm-heartedness...

has made this family
reunion possible. Cheers!

Garçon!

Take a picture, please!

Sissi, wipe your mouth!

Gregor, don't look so musty!

Kathi, smile!

I want to thank you.

For what?

For taking care of mama at dinner.

I'm not a monster.

So, the children?

Are they asleep?

I suppose so.

Shall we go?

I can't sleep.

May I sit with you?

Oh God...

- It was all too much!
- The food?

Do you feel sick?

On the contrary!
The food was wonderful!

So mild... totally different from ours.

- I could get used to it.
- Great!

It's something else.

How can I put it?

Now that the kids are asleep,
we can talk about it.

- What are we going to do for Christmas?
- Mama...

Let's be clear: there's no Christmas here.

And no tree! Get rid of that stuff!

But the children...
Sissi is still a child!

Shit! Shit shoes!

- Sissi...? Where have you been?
- Where is Gregor?

What a sight you are!
And these shoes?

I don't know where Gregor is.

These are my shoes!
Are you crazy?

And where is Gregor?

Where were you?

You said she was asleep!

Is there a problem?

- Dancing. At the disco!
- Dancing? At your age?

- How did Sissi get to the disco?
- No idea. On foot?

Don't talk back! Just wait, you...

- Nothing happened!
- What! Your daughter is hanging around!

All the boys went to the disco.
Lilibeth gave me the ticket.

You can't sleep either, with this wind?
Everything is rattling.

Sissi, you're becoming a real lady!
Only the eye shadow is a little bit... smeared.

Eye shadow! At her age!

Were you in the disco?

There's a children's disco. It's for kids,
so they get to know each other.

The "Planter's Club". Was it nice?

It was dull. Full of babies!

Joe, please bring me a nightcap
from the minibar. Gin and tonic!

My God, she should jump on the
chance to make friends! For life!

- Mommy, she's eleven!
- So what?

You can't start early enough.

"To make acquaintance is of importance",
as my governess used to say.

I've had enough. Good night.

Jonas is sick. Did any
of you bring mylanta?

- He's a doctor, he must have some.
- He forgot his kit at home.

How reassuring! A doctor
without his medicine!

I brought nut schnapps!
Just in case!

You need some?
Come, let's fetch it.

Luise, let's go.

Good night, kids! Joe, give me
one more tiny drink, will you?

Luiserl!

Luiserl!

I'm in paradise!
Come! Ride with me!

Kathi?

What are you doing?

This is Tanura Asana.

And this helps?

It cleanses the mind and body.

This sounds like a pregnancy exercise.

But it's not. Quite the contrary.

It helps you maintain your figure.

That's all I need!

With a son it's different.
It's the old story.

Sons are attached to their mothers.

For example, my neighbor's son...

...who always says: Everything
must be like at home with mom!

They even still live with her.

Everything is prepared for him
exactly the way he is used to.

The food, the coffee, the potato
strudel, even the spinach.

No garlic! Spinach
without garlic, I ask you!

But they don't have children.
That's strange.

Maybe it's not good, for the old
and the young to always be together.

I like being with you.

You are sometimes harsh on Hansl, but...

you are the perfect wife for him.

At the beginning, I thought:

"I hope this will work out,
that one is a real Lady."

But then I realized, you are
a person just like anyone else.

What I mean to say is...
Luiserl, I really like you.

Mama, I'm pregnant.
I'm pregnant.

What?

But how is that possible?

Did you forget how it works?

No, but...

Luiserl, at your age?

What does Hansl say about it?

Nobody knows about it yet.
Not even Joe.

- But the child is his?
- Of course, what do you think!

But you are right. We are
not that young anymore.

I don't know...

Hey, Hansl is in his prime!

The look on their faces!

Mama! One word, and I'll kill you!

I know, I know. A secret.
Woman to woman.

But you have to take it easy, Luiserl!

My God, a bairn!

Where is Jonas? Our diving class
starts in half an hour.

I'll go check.

You go check. Your mother
stays in the shade.

Why, are you sick?

None of your business.
You go and check on Jonas!

- Mama, you are exaggerating.
- You can't be too careful!

- Yes, but...
- Hush, here comes Lilibeth!

This sun is dreadful!

Luiserl, let me get on the deck chair!

No, that's her deck!

Don't shout! I'm not deaf!

She can find another deck!

This is Luiserl's deck!
I got it for her.

It's too crowded here anyway.
I shall retire. Bye!

Bye!

And if you see your sister:
We must discuss the wedding.

Not so cold!

Do you have a fever or not?

I don't know. Probably. Maybe not.

Nothing is more important
than a good diagnosis.

Tell me... Kathi!

- Do you even want to marry me?
- Of course! That's why we're here.

But if you want to think
it over... I don't mind.

I only agreed to it...

because you made such a fuss
about having kids and stuff.

- It didn't work out anyway.
- Thank God for that!

It's enough that we're getting married.

IF we get married!
Nothing's been decided yet.

Shal we, dude?

Yes!

Are you crazy? You can't
go diving in this state!

That's why I am here!

Hello?

Excuse me? At the hotel?

Tell my mother I'm coming.

Very nice!

I wanted to talk to you alone...

This is Mr. Das-Gupda.

This is my daughter
Katharina, the bride.

Enchanté, mademoiselle.

This is my second daughter
with her mother-in-law.

La belle mère.

Mr. Das-Gupda is a tailor.
He'll make your wedding dress.

If you're going to wear a sari, do it properly!
Mr. Das-Gupda is a specialist for bridal saris.

That was only a joke!

Don't you dare embarrass me!
He came all the way from town.

So behave yourself!

What do you recommend?

Luiserl, look! Isn't that cute?

It is so cute.

Look, this is for a boy.

Mama, please!

It's a bit exaggerated!
So ostentatious!

Red doesn't suit you.

Très joli! Très très joli!

But girl!

You look like the girl
from the Thousand Nights!

- The Princess Cher... cherrywhatsit.
- Scheherazade!

You see? They understand me!

For the fiancé.

Ridiculous! I won't
make a fool of myself!

A turban!

Ridiculous!

Everyone says the sari fits me.

Besides, this is supposed to be
the best day of my life. Says Omama.

Then she can wear a turban.
I'm sure it fits her.

Turn off the light. My eyes hurt!

- Don't you want to call a doctor?
- No!

The tailor has invited us
to a picnic on the beach.

With Indian food...

I feel sick! Leave me alone!

How is poor Jonas?

Poor Jonas is suffering.

Still? I hope it's nothing serious!

I would call a doctor.

Watch out!

- I'm bored!
- What's wrong with you?

There's nobody here!

Only you guys! And stupid Gregor
is always underwater!

Gregor is taking a diving class,
a bloody expensive one.

So he'd better be underwater!

And what can I do?
Just lie around, like you?

- I told you, play tennis.
- Tennis? In this heat?

You want to try some
embroidery? It's easy.

What do you want to do?
Go water skiing?

Alone? That's super-dull!

I'll go with you. I was good,
before. Maybe I've still got it.

No way! That is out of the question.

Sissi, put on some clothes!

- What?
- A dress!

We'll go to 'La Vaniglia'. You'll see
how it was here in past times.

The flora, fauna, palms, bamboo,
jungle, bats, pigs, crocodiles...

Crocodiles? Here?

There's bound to be a farm somewhere...
because of the handbags.

I don't want to! I hate crocodiles!

Nonsense! Be glad I'm taking you with me!

Lying on the beach is
unhealthy and boring.

Some culture won't hurt you.

I guess the others aren't
interested, are they?

Just as I thought. Come, Sissi!

Take beautiful pictures!
And smile, Sissi, smile!

Lilibeth, I'm tired.

Of course you are!
It was a long day.

That's why we'll treat
ourselves to a nightcap.

What's that? Another flower?

It's a very small drink,
so you can sleep well.

I'm already asleep now.

Planter's Punch - two, please!

Look, the Southern Cross.

Joe, I wanted to ask you
something... about kids.

Not now, Luise.

I'm glad they're not here now.

Sissi is always bored. And Gregor calls
me a murderer just because I eat fish.

But Sissi, don't feel sorry for the turtle!

It is very useful!
Very versatile, not only as soup!

- Please don't talk about the children.
- I wasn't going to talk about THESE children.

Is that your mother's silver-bright laugh?

Aunt Maureen in England has
whole sets of tortoise shell.

They are magnificent, let me tell you.
Combs, brushes, hairpins...

Ecologically valuable and biodegradable.

Honey, what's wrong?

Mom!

I swear it was just a little, a tiny...

an itsy-bitsy little nightcappie!

Luise, take your mother away
or I will lose control!

Why is everyone so mean to me?

- Mommy, don't start that again!
- Does anyone have an aspirin?

Nobody loves me! Nobody!

Don't you think I realize that
I'm getting on your nerves?

But Mommy...

Just because I mind my
manners - unlike some others.

I know that times have changed
from what they used to be.

Thank you!

But I always had your
best interests at heart!

Because "noblesse oblige!"
as my grandma used to say.

Good night!

And as for YOU, take good care!

What does she mean?

No idea.

Bonjour!

May I?

Whoosh! I'm on fire!

Io...

Capite?

And you?

Well, I'll be! This hot stuff preserves well!

8 more years, and Sissy
will be old enough.

Then I will retire and we can move here.
Just the two of us!

Oooh!

The fiancé?

Oui.

Oh, this stuff itches!

So what? It's supposed to.

I love the colonial style!

I always thought I could cook.

But this... this is unsurpassable!

Yet they're such simple people.

- I'm going in the water.
- Me too.

Jonas!

- What is it?
- What's wrong with you?

Luiserl, stay away!
Jonas is diseased!

Leprosy! Smallpox! Plague!
What do I know!

Don't touch him!

- Mama, calm down!
- Luiserl, say something!

You know what I mean.

Mitzerl is afraid for the child.

The child that Luiserl is expecting.

How do you know that?

A mother can feel it.
Right, Luiserl?

I can't believe you're going
through this again at your age.

Merry Christmas!
Joyeux noël!

What's up? What did the doctor say?

- Varicella.
- What?

Simply chickenpox.
We've all had it, except Jonas.

I don't believe it.

We've come so far,
and now there's nothing.

No wedding and nothing at all!

Why, what has that got to do with it?

Don't be angry, but you cannot
get married like that.

Jonas doesn't care how he
looks. He is not a bourgeois.

Mitzerl is right, and that has nothing
to do with being a bourgeois!

Jonas can't marry like that.
It would be a disgrace for everyone.

- He looks like a clown!
- And that bothers you?

Of course! It would be embarrassing
for you to appear like that.

What would people say?

So? What do you think?

That I want it.

One more time?

You want to do it all over again?

Change, feed, change, feed...

Sleepless nights.

Play in the sand.

Go to the potty.

Build castles.

Eat spinach.

Say 'Daddy'.

Look, the tiny green one!

There's something
Mom and I must tell you.

A fat red one!
Well, he dived away.

Something important!

And the blue one!
Nasty! Like a shark!

Mom's having a baby.

The black one is a parasite.
They're poisonous.

- Why?
- They're scavengers.

Gross!

Are you deaf?
We're having a baby!

Congratulations, one more step
towards chaos!

How much do you pay for babysitting?

Good morning, Mitzerl!

Where are Lilibeth and Omama?

Booted out.

I'll miss all those vitamins!
Fresh from the tree!

No, thanks.

You know...

I can feel myself getting younger.

Really wrinkle-free!

Give me one!

- Have you seen the children?
- No.

Are they still asleep?

On the last day? That would be a waste!

Well, nothing's happening
anyway - no wedding...

But... thank you anyway, Lilibeth.

From the bottom of my heart.

I have never really,
uh, liked you very much...

But... that I could see this!
This paradise!

I owe it all to you,
not to the children.

Let's face it, they don't want us here.

Allow me to disagree.

I have always had a very harmonious
relationship with my daughters.

I have always prided myself on that.

A mother is her daughters' best friend.

Of course, sometimes
there are small irritations...

...but on the whole,
we are intimately connected.

Funny, Luiserl always gets up early
and it's already noon.

I don't believe it!

They wouldn't... without us?

Of course not!
Not without me?

Not without her own mother?

I just don't believe it!
They would never do that!

And on Christmas to boot!
What a misery!

Mitzerl...

Great spirits soar above pettiness.

- We did it!
- No fussing mothers!

- No tears!
- And no scenes!

- I feel sorry for them.
- Me too.

How interesting.
And why, may I ask?

- Because they're old.
- And lonely.

Mitzerl!

Smile!

Thank you!

Well, Mitzerl...

I wish you all the best
and a Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

♪O palm tree, o palm tree ♪

♪ how steadfast are your branches. ♪

♪ Your boughs are green ♪
♪ in summer's clime ♪

♪ - in lack of snows ♪
♪ - of wintertime ♪

♪ O palm tree, o palm tree, ♪
♪ how the rain splashes! ♪

Merry Christmas!

Luiserl, I love you!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

- Joe?
- Yes?

I want to ask you something.

Yes, I know: you want to extend the trip.

Why not? Couldn't we?

It's so nice here and so warm.
Just one more week!

Luiserl, think of those
two poor old worms.

We left them in the rain, now
they should fly back alone? No.

Not a good idea.

We'll make up for it
once "it's" grown.

I'll be too old then.

Well, that's your own fault.

Sissi! Gregor! We're leaving!

Can't your mother ever be on time?
The bus is waiting outside.

We'll miss the plane!

- Lilibeth!
- Omama's no better.

Lilibeth!

You're soaking wet!

- Lilibeth!
- What is it?

- What's that noise?
- We're leaving in 10 minutes.

What a beautiful day!

Are you crazy? You're dancing
around in a robe? The bus is waiting!

This is not a robe, it's a negligee.
Besides, I am not crazy.

Good morning!

Good morning, everyone!
Good morning!

- Good morning, Lilibeth!
- Good morning!

I almost forgot: Mitzerl
and I are staying here.

Since you obviously prefer to be alone,
you're flying back alone.

We'll stay on for a few more
weeks. It's really nice here.

And so you won't miss your plane,
I have ordered a helicopter for you.

Kathi, this is my wedding present.

Right, Mitzi. Now we'll take a pedalo!

Kisses, and fly carefully!

Wait, Kathi! Wait!
Wait a bit!

Look. This is for you.
From the bottom of my heart.