O Olmasin, Bu Olsun (1956) - full transcript
Popularly known by the name of the main character, "Mashadi Ibad" was based on a musical comedy by composer Uzeyir Hajibeyov and written in the early 1900s. The story is based on the age old-theme of a beautiful young woman (Gulnaz) who falls in love with a young man (Sarvar) but is obliged to marry someone else. Gulnaz' father, Rustam bey, is bankrupt. He decides that the only way to pay off his creditors is to get money by marrying off Gulnaz to the rich, old, widowed bazaar merchant, Mashadi Ibad. But Sarvar contrives a way to foil the plan by disguising himself as the bride hidden under the thick Muslim veil. When Mashadi Ibad lifts the veil to see his bride's face, he discovers Sarvar who holds him at gun point and makes him write a statement that he really wants to marry the maid, not Gulnaz. This is where the work gets its title, "If Not This One, Then That One." The strategy works and Sarvar succeeds in marrying Gulnaz.
If it's not this one, it will be another one
Baku 1910
in accordance with Islamic culture
in this city too, women had no rights
their lives were entirely governed by the laws of sharia
husband and father had complete authority over them
they were forced to spend their lives looking through the window of their black veil
watching desperately the outside world, waiting for a sign of hope
Gülnaz had lost her mother when she was a child
her housekeeper Sənəm had raised her
her father was Rüstəm Bəy, ruined because of big gambling debts
Rüstəm Bəy was looking for a solution to pay them
but it didn't matter, when he knew there was no hope
he knew he could turn to Məşədi İbad
but old Məşədi İbad was stingy and did not give as easily
in exchange for his money he wanted Gülnaz's hand
but Gülnaz's heart only beat for Sərvər
I often see this young boy with Mirzə Cəlil (Editor of Mullah Nəsrəddin)
he publishes in the journal
he writes satires?
yes, and he is very talented
he follows in the footsteps of Mirzə Cəlil
Mullah Nəsrəddin is a true institution
absolutely, let's go
come on, Sərvər, be frank, are you in love?
do you know what Vaqif (poet) said?
"I missed your beautiful eyes and body, your divine beauty, look over here"
"night and day I think of you constantly"
"your absence wears me out, look over here"
"separation makes Vaqif sick"
no, no, "makes Sərvər sick"
"morning, noon and evening, I think of you"
"of your fresh cheeks, your pistachio-shaped lips"
"your sweet mouth, your pretty words, look over here!"
to the poet's words, the sweet replied!
got it!
if the girl you love is Gülnaz Hanoum,
then, put a padlock on your heart, and throw the key in the Caspian Sea
why?
we can take her with us if you want to
no
now isn't the time yet
let's go!
good bye, see you later!
I will bring you the money in half an hour!
I swear it on my honor of Bəy!
what do you want?!
nothing brother!
go away!
of course!
Baloğlan, where is my goat?
look! it's eating raisins
hey goat, this is not a buffet!
you, animal, move from here!
you and your father are the animals!
don't you know you can't touch my goat?
ok Əsgər, I'll show you...
go away, there is no sugar!
hello
oh, Rüstəm Bəy, nice to see you
enter the store, please!
welcome
don't bother
sit on this cushion
Bəy...
tell me, are you giving me your daughter's hand or not?
if you are not, I'll go look elsewhere
and I'll say : if it's not this one, it will be another one!
I am a man of my word
but first I will need you to give me an advance
1000 manats enough?
an additional 1000
but there are still the wedding costs!
it's true, but you're not very young...
you would have paid less...
a pity that you are old
I may be old but I am worth 1000 young men!
frankly Bəy, I don't see why people say I'm old
people are blind
look at the mirror, look at me...
maşAllah, I have all my teeth
and my beard is jet black
"old" is when you are blind, deaf and you can no longer move!
me Hamdoulah I am like a bird
hop there!
I say maşAllah to protect myself from the eye!
maşAllah
maşAllah...
here, 1500, I'll give you the rest later
but, Bəy, I would like to meet my bride, talk to her, what do you think?
seriously, I want to know if it is worth its price!
I don't mind
tonight come visit us
we will discuss and you will meet the miss!
ask its value to the one who is separated from love
ask the value of water to the one who is thirsty
the one who never tasted it cannot know love
Fuzûlî, ask the pleasure of love to the one who is in love
Sərvər, you look moody today, what happened?
your father wants to marry you to someone else!
what makes you say that?
I know it from a reliable source
but he didn't tell me anything!
he may tell you today...
and why would he tell you? your duty is to do as he says
no, no, I'd rather die
there is only you that I love
but this man is richer than me
whatever!
more handsome than me
I do not care!
younger than me
he could be a child, it doesn't matter!
I'm lying, I'm lying my beautiful Gülnaz
it is true, he is way richer than me, but he is old!
he is at least 50 years old
you would be afraid if you saw him
I will confess to my father my love for you
no, Gülnaz
listen to me
do not tell him
I know your father needs money
he wants to give your hand to Məşdi İbad for money
if he tells you, stay indifferent
then you will leave it to me
if your marriage took place today,
I could have danced
you will dance soon
why? are you getting married?
no
I'm not the one getting married
Rüstəm Bəy is marrying Gülnaz to an old man
oh, shame on him!
how can such a pretty young girl marry an old man?
don't worry Gülnaz, nobody will separate us!
my master may arrive anytime, I'll go take a look!
*annoyance*
*annoyance in Turkish*
in Turkish: how can they come after me? Rza Bəy?
in Turkish: a man like me!
*annoyance*
in Turkish: I will show to Mullah Nəsrəddin (satirical press) I will destr...
you will do well!
but what's wrong with you old man?
you clearly see!
calm down!
be my guest tonight
I have a little news to announce
Bəy!
in Turkish: my edition of tomorrow will talk about you!
in Georgian: leave me buddy!
pay me for the vodka you drank
leave me!
it's always the same with you
it's not correct!
in French: oh, Mr.Rüstəm Bəy, good morning!
Həsən Bəy
tonight, come to my house
in French: with great pleasure!
with great pleasure!
should I bring a bottle, or...?
no, no
don't worry, I got everything!
Həsən Qulu Bəy!
Oh Rüstəm Bəy!
leave me!
I told you to leave me!
*annoyance*
please, Rüstəm bəy
get out!
Həsən Qulu Bəy, come to my home tonight, I have good news
is it about your daughter?
yes
you should've said it before!
hello Kərbələy (title)
hi!
enter, brother!
Kərbələy, how is business?
how? I got slapped in my shop because of a goat!
who did that? who?
the Qoçu Əsgər, there he is!
what's up?
in Russian: my God! Боже мой!
oh Allah!
in Armenian: my God! իմ աստված
in Georgian: waouw ვაიმე
in Russian: mommy, mommy! мамочка, мамочка!
stop!
you, dog progeny!
you play the Qoçu (bully) with me?
stop, I'll kill you!
by Jove, he stole my veil!
ladies, there's a man in the hammam!
Rüstəm Bəy!
yes!
I could've killed you!
lower your hands
right now
lower your hands!
tonight, I invite you to my house... I am having guests
okay I'll come
Baloğlan, accompany him
hurry!
my daughter, do you want me to buy you a fabric?
I do dear dad!
my daughter, do you want me to buy you slippers?
I do dear dad!
my daughter, do you want me to buy you socks?
I do dear dad!
my daughter,
my daughter, do you...
my daughter, do you want me to marry you to someone?
I do not, dear dad...
I do not, dear dad!
my girl!
are you saying no?
I found you an exceptional husband
rich, very rich
money like it's raining
well it's true he is a bit old
but he's a good man!
even searching with a lamp, you won't find another one like him!
what's the point? he is old!
you shut your mouth!
you know nothing about it
surely, but I will not give this girl to an old man!
you'll decide when I'll try to marry you to an old man
as far as I know, she's my daughter, I'll marry her with whomever I want
so my daughter do you agree?
I have no choice but to listen to you
that's my smart daughter!
my beautiful daughter
I always knew that you would listen to me
so I promised him your hand, he's coming here tonight
and I invited people, organize a nice reception!
my daughter, he wants to see you!
I authorize you to meet him
do not be scared!
because she has reason to be afraid?
you curl it
what do you want, you said "don't be afraid"
Allahu Əkbər, woman, shut your mouth!
I told you to shut up!
oh Allah, but what did I say wrong?
you are a housekeeper, do your work and shut it!
you are an animal!
I've had enough, you'll see!
I did nothing master!
you, dog progeny!
I picked you up, I brought you home, you lost yourself!
once Gülnaz is married, you can get the hell out of here!
*Mugham*
Məşədi İbad, you are here!
you are welcome!
so, you did remember us?
of course I did, I always have you in mind!
give me your daughter and see how happy I make you
so tell me, are your pockets full of money?
let me give you a virgin, what would you do with a widow?
I'll give you all the money in the world old man!
give me your daughter and see how happy I make you
you want some money?
yes, I do
will you give her to me?
I will
right here, right now ?
yes
will you give her to me quickly?
I will
swear it!
I swear!
then...
give me your hand!
swear it!
I swear!
then...
give your hand!
it's okay
Bəy
can I meet the girl?
what do you think?
I have no objection, wait here
okay
I have a white hair there
I have to tear it off
you, dirt
this damned barber misapplied henna
the charlatan
so...
how should I put my hat on to please the girl?
like that...?
she will be afraid
she will think I am a Qoçu from Baku
no
and like that...?
the girl will flee
she will think I am a cotton farmer from Karabakh
okay...
and this way...?
she will hate me
she will think I am a gambler from Gəncə
okay...
and this way...?
no, no, no!
I will look like a Şamaxı deceiver
okay...
then how?
without hat, the better
then I will please her!
I'll look like a scholar!
I'm afraid of him
he's ugly
it looks like they are scared
it's even better, women should be afraid of their men
Hanoum, your hair is very black, did you use henna like me?
no I don't need henna
she doesn't have white hair!
me neither Hanoum, I don't have white hair
I don't need henna, the black of my beard is as deep as jet
only, I like to do it because of the tradition
may your deads rest in peace
my late mother used to say that if she didn't get henna she got headaches
it was a habit
why am I even talking about henna?
it's off topic
Hanoum
clarity of hair or beard has nothing to do with age
I'm lucky!
I am facing two beauties
as the poet would say
to stroll in the garden of your beauty
to pick the prettiest of flowers
to see your beauty in this garden
to get drunk at the sight of her sweet cheek?
to get drunk at the sight of her sweet cheek?
these are impossible things, you can go die
old man, what would you do with a 15 year-old-girl?
aren't you afraid of getting in trouble later?
a 100-year-old widow would suit you better, you fool
a 100-year-old widow would suit you better, you fool
even a dog would refuse to approach you
you can go die
I feel like you're staring at me a little too much
I'm afraid you'll lose yourself
if you want, I'll tell you the truth
if you want, I'll tell you the truth
a girl doesn't suit an old man like you,
you can go die
a girl doesn't suit / befits an old man like you / me,
you can go die
goodbye uncle, we are leaving
uncle?
good bye!
I want to marry them both!
so Məşədi, did you like the girl?
yes, I liked the girl, her housekeeper too
so give me 5 or 600 more and her housekeeper is yours too
no, we'll see that later
see you later!
no, stay!
sit down!
Məşədi
I shouldn't tell you...
but I'm proud to have you as a son-in-law
that's why I allowed myself to organize a small reception with friends
a little celebration
who are your guests?
nice people, you will see
here they are!
Bəy!
oh!
Məşədi İbad!
they say there will be a wedding
that Məşədi İbad will marry a girl
so when is this wedding?
so is this marriage true?
so when is this wedding?
if Allah wills, soon
but when?
InshAllah soon
but is this marriage true?
so when is this wedding?
and this marriage...
this marri... this marri... this marriage...
is soon!
so when is this wedding?
let's refresh ourselves a little
this way
I don't drink
okay
so sit there
gentlemen...
as you understood
I offer my darling daughter's hand to this man
not to this man, to his money!
and this marriage is for me...
easy money
a great honor!
at table!
gentlemen, please calm down
please enjoy some music
perfect!
*mugham*
gentlemen
gentlemen!
shut up!
once upon a time,
one evening at 9 p.m. sharp
I was coming back from the market place...
when I noticed that...
I was being followed...
the follower didn't let go
I told myself that he was certainly one of my enemies
so I grabbed my pistol
that I drew
I told him to go!
and there he ran away!
I told him "stop"!
he didn't stop!
I told him "stop", he didn't stop!
boom! one bullet!
and "boom!" he fell to the ground
I said to myself "let's see who it is"
and who did I see...?
who?
our good old Məşədi İbad
I thought I had killed the poor man!
but luckily
I had missed it!
thank you Məşədi İbad
I'm drinking to your health
thank you very much!
*he toasts in Turkish*
in Turkish: gentlemen, don't you want me to talk?
yes exactly
in Turkish: gentlemen, you don't even bother answering me, I am outraged!
thank you, thank you !
Rüstəm Bəy!
have you gone mad?
Rüstəm Bəy!
in Turkish: if you wanted to insult me, why do it in your house and not in a neutral place?
thank you very much, completely agree!
in Turkish: I'm tired of this fiasco, I'm not staying!
Rza Bəy?
Rza Bəy ?!
where are you going?
I've been asking you all the permission to speak
but you don't even deign to answer me
it's too complicated to understand you!
we don't know what you want to tell us!
I myself read half of the Tarixi-Nadir (Life of Nader Shah)
but I don't understand what you're saying, how could these uncultivated people?
it's an offense!
I will talk about it in my journal!
yes!
hold on
I thought you were toasting!
I swear I didn't understand
come and sit down
you don't believe me?
in French: gentlemen!
Plato said that:
in Russian: man is an animal
that is to say "man is an animal"
Məşədi İbad: you are the animal!
the famous scholar Darwin,
has proven to the world that
man descends from monkey
to accept Darwin's words
it is not worth going to Africa
here we have a very nice specimen: Məşədi İbad
I'm not trying to hurt Məşədi İbad with my words...
I also look like a monkey
but not to this point
Məşədi İbad on the other hand resembles an orangutan
leave me!
you idiot, I'm on the verge of banging you!
in French: if I may
why would Məşədi İbad please Rüstəm Bəy?
why would he give him the hand of miss Gülnaz?
his beauty?
no
I've just told you that he is ugly
his youth?
no
Məşədi İbad is old!
but then what?
maybe, his money? his possessions?
his wealth?
no no
Rüstəm Bəy is not greedy
so what is it?
look, we drink wine
Məşədi İbad,
drinks tea
so what is Məşədi İbad?
Məşədi İbad
in French: is a true Muslim, isn't it?
that is to say: Məşədi İbad is a true Muslim
I think that's why
Rüstəm Bəy is giving him the hand of his daughter!
cheers Rüstəm Bəy!
enough talking
it's time to leave, goodbye!
thank you
slowly
in French: Məşədi İbad, farewell!
go to hell!
you idiot
you call me a monkey and you want to shake my hand?
donkey progeny!
your father is the donkey
I'll show you
Rza Bəy still hasn't recovered from this caricature
take a look
it is well done!
it's senseful
Hüseyn, look at the gestures
of the great Rüstəm!
ah, come in, come in!
nice to see you Sərvər!
come in boys, come in
my friend
how are you doing?
it's bad Mirzə, Rüstəm Bəy gives his daughter's hand to an old trader
so when is the wedding?
he met her yesterday
and so? they got engaged?
they promised the girl
but they hit her father well too!
so they got engaged?
Mirzə
we have a great plan
it is a great idea indeed!
did you hear Mirzə?
he gives his young daughter's hand to an old trader
it's a shame that this world goes into a spin!
it's like in your collection: Xan dostu, amandı! (Ḥopḥopnāmah)
quote an extract, for these young folks to listen...
please!
Xan dostu, I'm afraid, don't let him approach me!
he's awful, don't let him approach me
oh, oh, it's the end of my world,
he is not even portrayable,
my God, this is not a husband,
it's a monster, it's a boar, don't let it approach me
he's awful, don't let him approach me
I'm afraid, my God, my heart implodes
I'm on a fragile silk thread,
my heart is beating too fast
I am burning, don't let him come near me
he is coarse, don't let him approach me
a big ugly hat on his head
you can see his white hair on his eyebrows
he is as old as my grand-father,
he is coarse, don't let him approach me
I wanted to come see the girl tonight!
but it's too hard to climb the wall
I will go find a miserable to help me
destitutes!
destitutes!
yes?
this way
over here, quick!
wait, one person!
one person!
me, me!
I need one person!
you, miserable, come with me!
right now!
here, 1 abassi
get on all fours
Məşədi, is it to commit a crime?
shut up
imbecile
it's to see my bride
may Allah give you strength!
Məşədi, don't break my back!
no, no!
miserable, my bag
Məşədi, if I move you will fall
hold on
the girl is there
and there is a boy with her
who do you think that is?
who is that?
boy, who are you?
who are you?
me? I am Məşədi İbad
and I am Sərvər
what are you doing there?
what are you doing there?
I came to see my bride
I too came to see my bride
who is your bride?
and you, who is your bride?
mine is the daughter of Rüstəm Bəy, Gülnaz Hanoum
mine too is the daughter of Rüstəm Bəy, Gülnaz Hanoum
shut up you fool, how dare you pronounce my bride's name?
hey, Məşədi, get down, you're going to break my back!
you are lucky that I have a miserable under my feet otherwise you would have tasted my anger!
hey, miserable, wait!
Məşədi you broke my back, give me 1 more abassi!
I don't get it!
I am her suitor
I find myself on the sidewalk
and this quack is with her
I will go find the Qoçu Əsgər
guys, the Qoçu Əsgər is here
2-1
2-3
3-1
4-4
Baloğlan, this rascal is cheating
I am cheating?
you're cheating
no, I am not cheating
yes, you are cheating!
no, I'm a real player me
*friction*
a cop!
brother, Məşədi İbad is looking for you
Baloğlan
so, do you agree?
anyway, with Gülnaz gone, I won't be able to stay in this house
there was a spring
that made all the flowers bloom
there was a spring
that made all the flowers bloom
the nightingale painfully sang
true love is to be willing to sacrifice for one's half
do not love if you are not willing to sacrifice for your half
do you hear? he's singing
Məşədi, the girl is singing too
yes, do you see what the problem is?
I understand you, let's settle that
it'll cost you 2000, 1000 for me and 1000 for the guys
poor me, how will I give you so much money?
as you wish
if you want, we'll leave, Baloğlan, let's go!
you will be covered with shame
no one will want to trade with you anymore!
Əsgər Ağa
Əsgər Ağa, Məşədi wants to talk to you
okay I accept
come and get your money at my shop tomorrow, but kill this boy quickly
otherwise my heart will explode!
Baloğlan
yes?
let's go
follow me
let's warn the guys
let's go!
whoever you are, open the door, let us come and kill you!
open the door, let us come and kill you
Sərvər, I'm scared
don't open the door
otherwise they will kill you
Sərvər, Sərvər, come!
open the door!
I'm not afraid of you
keep talking!
the best is to leave us alone
guys
draw your pistols!
I'll count, you'll shoot when I'll say "three"!
get ready!
one
two
Rüstəm Bəy!
Mister Rüstəm Bəy!
Rüstəm Bəy!
in French: hello
hello...
I am suing your son-in-law
why?
for defamation!
come on, leave me
I swear on the Shah's head
I had no choice
here is the complaint, he will answer in justice
between us, Rüstəm Bəy, Miss Gülnaz has nothing to do with Məşədi İbad, no!
you are right Həsən Bəy, my daughter has nothing to do with Məşədi İbad
I managed to substract 5 to 10,000 manats from him
but Gülnaz pains me
she will end up unhappy
but what can I do? it's the downside of poverty
I lost my sweetheart
hey, Məşədi!
I gave up on life
I lost my head...
to the point of forgetting my own name
I lost all my fortune
enough, Məşədi
I was looking for a mare (girl)
I lost my saddle (my money)
I fell in love with a young girl
I lost 5000 manats
hey, Məşədi İbad, how did you lose them?
where did they come from? where did they go?
to hell your 5000 manats!
I beg you
I implore you
where is my abassi?
look over here, the girl has two fiancés
two?
yes!
the girl has two fiancés!
the girl has two fiancés!
who are you? what are you doing at my place?
me? I am a student and I'm not doing anything at your place
tell me how you dare come to my house
I would've never came here if I wasn't in love with your daughter, and if she weren't in love with me
what is it you dare say?!
I'll knock your head so hard, your brain wil explode
he will kill him, he will kill us all!
oh my God!
it is me who will draw the weapon
against who?
against myself
what do you mean?
because once I kill Gülnaz, I won't be able to live
you can't kill my daughter
you won't even know
why?
because I would've killed you first
what is this madman saying?!
look, you want to make this girl unhappy
but I, Sərvər, tell you Rüstəm Bəy that
if you don't give me Gülnaz's hand
I'll shoot you, shoot her, then shoot myself
and that's all
look at me
look at me
I promised my daughter's hand to another
it's too late
if you trust me, I have the solution
so tell me, did you calm down?
yes, I did
excuse me, excuse me
what is that Məşədi? it seems that the girl has two fiancés?
Həsən Qulu Bəy, didn't Rüstəm Bəy tell me next to you that he was giving me his daughter?
yes, he did
what is this I am victim of?
and he squandered me 5,000 manats!
don't worry Məşədi, I'll take care of it!
take care of it, I feel very bad
so give me 500 manats because it will cost a small sum
vAllah, I'm ruined, vAllah, I'm stripped
as you wish
okay
Rza Bəy, please take your pencil and write about this in your journal
humiliate Rüstəm Bəy!
excuse me Məşədi but this is not my responsibility, I do not talk about private affairs in my newspaper
oh, but writing on a piece of paper isn't complicated
hmm, that's another thing
now I understand you
I will write and put shame on Rüstəm Bəy
Məşədi İbad, don't worry, Qoçu Əsgər isn't dead
here, take it
in French: excuse me, excuse me
what an imbecile
Məşədi İbad
you insulted me
so I'm suing you
leave me alone, you're the one who calls me a monkey and now you're suing me?
in French: excuse me but
I won't let go
you will answer in court
okay, take it
in French: that's another thing
what?
that is to say: that's another thing
I withdraw my complaint
Məşədi, you give money to everyone, give me my abassi and I'll go away
go to hell!
gentlemen!
gentlemen
let's go talk seriously to Rüstəm Bəy
this poor man, loses his money and is covered with shame
you think it can work?
believe me, yes
do you agree?
yes, I do
but don't say anything to Məşədi İbad
and urge him to do the wedding
okay
what can I say
it sounds like a good idea
if it works it works
if it doesn't work, it will be Sərvər's fault
if I don't solve the case...
if you don't solve the case...
if I don't succeed...
if you don't succeed...
it will be Sərvər's fault
it will be Sərvər's fault
*hubbub*
this is not possible, this is not possible
you're cheating us
you're giving the girl to another
to another!
what should this poor man do?
I swear to God, I tell you, you have to give me the girl!
if you don't, I won't be responsible for the consequences
because I am a great merchant!
I would ignore your Bəy status
because he's a great merchant, he'll ignore your Bəy status
truly, I don't understand what you're accusing me of
how come you don't understand?
you squander my money and you lie to me by promising me your daughter but you give her to someone else!
who said that?
me! I saw your daughter with a young boy with my own eyes
when I asked him who he was, he told me he was her fiancé
do you at least know who that was?
who was it?
it was her uncle
what?!
he really appreciated Məşədi so he made him a little prank
I was saying to myself...
Rüstəm Bəy wouldn't do that to me
excuse me Bəy
I was wondering why not get married now?
what do you think?
the earlier, the better
thank you
Məşədi İbad, congratulations
congratulations on your wedding
thank you very much, thank you for your help
Məşədi İbad, congratulations
congratulations on your wedding
the new Bəy (groom) is welcome to our hammam
come in gentlemen!
come in
the hammam is really a beautiful place
a relaxing place
in the heat of summer, where to cool off?
in the hammam!
in the cold of winter, where to warm up?
in the hammam!
where to look for holy water?
in the hammam!
so let's go!
inside and outside the hammam
in spring, in summer, in winter, in spring
warmth and freshness
rich, poor, come quickly, you have your place
in spring, in summer, in winter, in spring
warmth and freshness
rich, poor, come quickly, you have your place
inside and outside the hammam
in spring, in summer, in winter, in spring
warmth and freshness
rich, poor, come quickly, you have your place
in spring, in summer, in winter, in spring
warmth and freshness
rich, poor, come quickly, you have your place
come!
undress the new Bəy (groom)!
the hammam is irreprochable but who will pay?
for the hammam?
yes!
listen
I will make a fuss at the entrance of the hammam
so?
Məşədi
did you like the hammam?
it was great!
this hammam would wake up a dead man
if I had a hat worth 1000 manats and someone had thrown it in this hammam,
I wouldn't have came to get it
I'm only here for Məşədi
I thank you
excuse me but I did not understand if this hammam's water was water or Boz Baş (soup), I am not staying here
there is only Məşədi to love hammams anyway
in Turkish: yes, yes, yes, yes
Həsən Qulu Bəy, wait for me!
Məşədi Qəzənfər, that's all because of the water of your hammam
you, miserable, go get them, tell them not to worry, I'll pay
tell them to come and get the Bəy (groom)
look at me
for him
finally! where were you?
here is a proverb: everything that is beautiful has a flaw
I've thought about it a lot
I understood one thing: my only flaw is being flawless
hmm, I'm not badly dressed
call Məşədi İbad
the Bəy (groom) must dance on his wedding day for his prosperity
please come and dance
I thought you were going to be my other half
that you would be my faithful half forever
gentlemen
it's time, it's almost daybreak, let's go get the bride
in Persian: the night and the candle will witness it, tonight I will finally drink the sweet wine
in Persian: let's take this sweet night as an opportunity to meditate on our era
I am afraid that a girl who grew up in such a family, doesn't have the patience to live here
but she has no say, I will lock her up and it will be settled
I'll condemn the windows
I'll give her a chance to settle, if she doesn't, I'll beat her
the more a woman is berated by her husband, the better
I've had proof of this through my past experiences
they're leaving
it's time, let's go
let's go
come girls, it's time, one day it will be for you, come, come
congratulations, may God make you very happy
thank you, thank you
enough, enough girls, let's get out
God bless you my girl
I may be old but I am worth a thousand young men
I will never eat stale bread
I will not be satisfied with the necessary
I would sacrifice myself for my lady
I'll give her everything: my goods, my money, my life
come, Hanoum, come to me, come my sweetheart, come to me
come, my half, come to me, come
I beg you, I beg you, I beg you, come
my lamb, come to me
I would give my life for my other half
I would sacrifice myself for my lady
I'll give her everything: my goods, my money, my life
come, Hanoum, come to me, come my sweetheart, come to me
come, my half, come to me, come
I beg you, I beg you, I beg you, come
my lamb, come to me
I would give my life for my other half
I would sacrifice myself for my lady
I'll give her everything: my goods, my money, my life
if you make a sound, I will shoot you in the head
understood
sit down and write what I dictate
what am I writing?
write: I, Məşədi İbad Kərbələy Hoca-Verdi son of Khan
how do you know my father's name?
hurry!
I'm writing
otherwise, I'll blow your brains out!
okay
I
I
I!!
I, Məşədi İbad Kərbələy Hoca-Verdi son of Khan
don't want to marry Rüstəm Bəy's daughter, Gülnaz
but I want to
you don't want to
I do not want to
and instead, I will marry the housekeeper Sənəm
by Jove! what happens to my money?
write
I'm writing
otherwise I'll explode your empty head with this gun
don't move!
I wasn't moving
Allah U...
do not talk!
I wasn't talking
by Jove, I could've died!
help!
help!
hold her back, the bride ran away, hold her back!
don't let her go!
help!
hold her back!
help!
hold her back!
help!
help! the bride ran away! help!
when you brought the bride, didn't you even check if it was a woman or a man?
what are you talking about Məşədi İbad? the bride is necessarily a woman
this one was a man
it's a fake one
Məşədi, give me 50 manats, I'll humiliate Rüstəm Bəy in my journal
no
Məşədi, give me 40 manats and I will bring the Governor here
no
Məşədi, give me 20 manats, give me 20 manats and I'll ...
Məşədi İbad, give me 10 manats and I'll put a bullet in the head of Rüstəm Bəy
no, no
Məşədi, and my abassi?
get out of here! with your abassi!
where is she?
come here
go tell the mullah to religiously marry this woman to me
that's another thing
what can we do? if it's not this one, it will be another one
let's go see the mullah, for him to marry them
for you to be his wife, do you agree?
yes, yes
do you agree?
yes, yes
they agree
yes, yes
then, let's go
go tell the mullah to marry us
you will become my wife, do you agree?
yes, yes
you agree?
yes, yes
she agrees
yes, yes
then, let's go
THE END
Baku 1910
in accordance with Islamic culture
in this city too, women had no rights
their lives were entirely governed by the laws of sharia
husband and father had complete authority over them
they were forced to spend their lives looking through the window of their black veil
watching desperately the outside world, waiting for a sign of hope
Gülnaz had lost her mother when she was a child
her housekeeper Sənəm had raised her
her father was Rüstəm Bəy, ruined because of big gambling debts
Rüstəm Bəy was looking for a solution to pay them
but it didn't matter, when he knew there was no hope
he knew he could turn to Məşədi İbad
but old Məşədi İbad was stingy and did not give as easily
in exchange for his money he wanted Gülnaz's hand
but Gülnaz's heart only beat for Sərvər
I often see this young boy with Mirzə Cəlil (Editor of Mullah Nəsrəddin)
he publishes in the journal
he writes satires?
yes, and he is very talented
he follows in the footsteps of Mirzə Cəlil
Mullah Nəsrəddin is a true institution
absolutely, let's go
come on, Sərvər, be frank, are you in love?
do you know what Vaqif (poet) said?
"I missed your beautiful eyes and body, your divine beauty, look over here"
"night and day I think of you constantly"
"your absence wears me out, look over here"
"separation makes Vaqif sick"
no, no, "makes Sərvər sick"
"morning, noon and evening, I think of you"
"of your fresh cheeks, your pistachio-shaped lips"
"your sweet mouth, your pretty words, look over here!"
to the poet's words, the sweet replied!
got it!
if the girl you love is Gülnaz Hanoum,
then, put a padlock on your heart, and throw the key in the Caspian Sea
why?
we can take her with us if you want to
no
now isn't the time yet
let's go!
good bye, see you later!
I will bring you the money in half an hour!
I swear it on my honor of Bəy!
what do you want?!
nothing brother!
go away!
of course!
Baloğlan, where is my goat?
look! it's eating raisins
hey goat, this is not a buffet!
you, animal, move from here!
you and your father are the animals!
don't you know you can't touch my goat?
ok Əsgər, I'll show you...
go away, there is no sugar!
hello
oh, Rüstəm Bəy, nice to see you
enter the store, please!
welcome
don't bother
sit on this cushion
Bəy...
tell me, are you giving me your daughter's hand or not?
if you are not, I'll go look elsewhere
and I'll say : if it's not this one, it will be another one!
I am a man of my word
but first I will need you to give me an advance
1000 manats enough?
an additional 1000
but there are still the wedding costs!
it's true, but you're not very young...
you would have paid less...
a pity that you are old
I may be old but I am worth 1000 young men!
frankly Bəy, I don't see why people say I'm old
people are blind
look at the mirror, look at me...
maşAllah, I have all my teeth
and my beard is jet black
"old" is when you are blind, deaf and you can no longer move!
me Hamdoulah I am like a bird
hop there!
I say maşAllah to protect myself from the eye!
maşAllah
maşAllah...
here, 1500, I'll give you the rest later
but, Bəy, I would like to meet my bride, talk to her, what do you think?
seriously, I want to know if it is worth its price!
I don't mind
tonight come visit us
we will discuss and you will meet the miss!
ask its value to the one who is separated from love
ask the value of water to the one who is thirsty
the one who never tasted it cannot know love
Fuzûlî, ask the pleasure of love to the one who is in love
Sərvər, you look moody today, what happened?
your father wants to marry you to someone else!
what makes you say that?
I know it from a reliable source
but he didn't tell me anything!
he may tell you today...
and why would he tell you? your duty is to do as he says
no, no, I'd rather die
there is only you that I love
but this man is richer than me
whatever!
more handsome than me
I do not care!
younger than me
he could be a child, it doesn't matter!
I'm lying, I'm lying my beautiful Gülnaz
it is true, he is way richer than me, but he is old!
he is at least 50 years old
you would be afraid if you saw him
I will confess to my father my love for you
no, Gülnaz
listen to me
do not tell him
I know your father needs money
he wants to give your hand to Məşdi İbad for money
if he tells you, stay indifferent
then you will leave it to me
if your marriage took place today,
I could have danced
you will dance soon
why? are you getting married?
no
I'm not the one getting married
Rüstəm Bəy is marrying Gülnaz to an old man
oh, shame on him!
how can such a pretty young girl marry an old man?
don't worry Gülnaz, nobody will separate us!
my master may arrive anytime, I'll go take a look!
*annoyance*
*annoyance in Turkish*
in Turkish: how can they come after me? Rza Bəy?
in Turkish: a man like me!
*annoyance*
in Turkish: I will show to Mullah Nəsrəddin (satirical press) I will destr...
you will do well!
but what's wrong with you old man?
you clearly see!
calm down!
be my guest tonight
I have a little news to announce
Bəy!
in Turkish: my edition of tomorrow will talk about you!
in Georgian: leave me buddy!
pay me for the vodka you drank
leave me!
it's always the same with you
it's not correct!
in French: oh, Mr.Rüstəm Bəy, good morning!
Həsən Bəy
tonight, come to my house
in French: with great pleasure!
with great pleasure!
should I bring a bottle, or...?
no, no
don't worry, I got everything!
Həsən Qulu Bəy!
Oh Rüstəm Bəy!
leave me!
I told you to leave me!
*annoyance*
please, Rüstəm bəy
get out!
Həsən Qulu Bəy, come to my home tonight, I have good news
is it about your daughter?
yes
you should've said it before!
hello Kərbələy (title)
hi!
enter, brother!
Kərbələy, how is business?
how? I got slapped in my shop because of a goat!
who did that? who?
the Qoçu Əsgər, there he is!
what's up?
in Russian: my God! Боже мой!
oh Allah!
in Armenian: my God! իմ աստված
in Georgian: waouw ვაიმე
in Russian: mommy, mommy! мамочка, мамочка!
stop!
you, dog progeny!
you play the Qoçu (bully) with me?
stop, I'll kill you!
by Jove, he stole my veil!
ladies, there's a man in the hammam!
Rüstəm Bəy!
yes!
I could've killed you!
lower your hands
right now
lower your hands!
tonight, I invite you to my house... I am having guests
okay I'll come
Baloğlan, accompany him
hurry!
my daughter, do you want me to buy you a fabric?
I do dear dad!
my daughter, do you want me to buy you slippers?
I do dear dad!
my daughter, do you want me to buy you socks?
I do dear dad!
my daughter,
my daughter, do you...
my daughter, do you want me to marry you to someone?
I do not, dear dad...
I do not, dear dad!
my girl!
are you saying no?
I found you an exceptional husband
rich, very rich
money like it's raining
well it's true he is a bit old
but he's a good man!
even searching with a lamp, you won't find another one like him!
what's the point? he is old!
you shut your mouth!
you know nothing about it
surely, but I will not give this girl to an old man!
you'll decide when I'll try to marry you to an old man
as far as I know, she's my daughter, I'll marry her with whomever I want
so my daughter do you agree?
I have no choice but to listen to you
that's my smart daughter!
my beautiful daughter
I always knew that you would listen to me
so I promised him your hand, he's coming here tonight
and I invited people, organize a nice reception!
my daughter, he wants to see you!
I authorize you to meet him
do not be scared!
because she has reason to be afraid?
you curl it
what do you want, you said "don't be afraid"
Allahu Əkbər, woman, shut your mouth!
I told you to shut up!
oh Allah, but what did I say wrong?
you are a housekeeper, do your work and shut it!
you are an animal!
I've had enough, you'll see!
I did nothing master!
you, dog progeny!
I picked you up, I brought you home, you lost yourself!
once Gülnaz is married, you can get the hell out of here!
*Mugham*
Məşədi İbad, you are here!
you are welcome!
so, you did remember us?
of course I did, I always have you in mind!
give me your daughter and see how happy I make you
so tell me, are your pockets full of money?
let me give you a virgin, what would you do with a widow?
I'll give you all the money in the world old man!
give me your daughter and see how happy I make you
you want some money?
yes, I do
will you give her to me?
I will
right here, right now ?
yes
will you give her to me quickly?
I will
swear it!
I swear!
then...
give me your hand!
swear it!
I swear!
then...
give your hand!
it's okay
Bəy
can I meet the girl?
what do you think?
I have no objection, wait here
okay
I have a white hair there
I have to tear it off
you, dirt
this damned barber misapplied henna
the charlatan
so...
how should I put my hat on to please the girl?
like that...?
she will be afraid
she will think I am a Qoçu from Baku
no
and like that...?
the girl will flee
she will think I am a cotton farmer from Karabakh
okay...
and this way...?
she will hate me
she will think I am a gambler from Gəncə
okay...
and this way...?
no, no, no!
I will look like a Şamaxı deceiver
okay...
then how?
without hat, the better
then I will please her!
I'll look like a scholar!
I'm afraid of him
he's ugly
it looks like they are scared
it's even better, women should be afraid of their men
Hanoum, your hair is very black, did you use henna like me?
no I don't need henna
she doesn't have white hair!
me neither Hanoum, I don't have white hair
I don't need henna, the black of my beard is as deep as jet
only, I like to do it because of the tradition
may your deads rest in peace
my late mother used to say that if she didn't get henna she got headaches
it was a habit
why am I even talking about henna?
it's off topic
Hanoum
clarity of hair or beard has nothing to do with age
I'm lucky!
I am facing two beauties
as the poet would say
to stroll in the garden of your beauty
to pick the prettiest of flowers
to see your beauty in this garden
to get drunk at the sight of her sweet cheek?
to get drunk at the sight of her sweet cheek?
these are impossible things, you can go die
old man, what would you do with a 15 year-old-girl?
aren't you afraid of getting in trouble later?
a 100-year-old widow would suit you better, you fool
a 100-year-old widow would suit you better, you fool
even a dog would refuse to approach you
you can go die
I feel like you're staring at me a little too much
I'm afraid you'll lose yourself
if you want, I'll tell you the truth
if you want, I'll tell you the truth
a girl doesn't suit an old man like you,
you can go die
a girl doesn't suit / befits an old man like you / me,
you can go die
goodbye uncle, we are leaving
uncle?
good bye!
I want to marry them both!
so Məşədi, did you like the girl?
yes, I liked the girl, her housekeeper too
so give me 5 or 600 more and her housekeeper is yours too
no, we'll see that later
see you later!
no, stay!
sit down!
Məşədi
I shouldn't tell you...
but I'm proud to have you as a son-in-law
that's why I allowed myself to organize a small reception with friends
a little celebration
who are your guests?
nice people, you will see
here they are!
Bəy!
oh!
Məşədi İbad!
they say there will be a wedding
that Məşədi İbad will marry a girl
so when is this wedding?
so is this marriage true?
so when is this wedding?
if Allah wills, soon
but when?
InshAllah soon
but is this marriage true?
so when is this wedding?
and this marriage...
this marri... this marri... this marriage...
is soon!
so when is this wedding?
let's refresh ourselves a little
this way
I don't drink
okay
so sit there
gentlemen...
as you understood
I offer my darling daughter's hand to this man
not to this man, to his money!
and this marriage is for me...
easy money
a great honor!
at table!
gentlemen, please calm down
please enjoy some music
perfect!
*mugham*
gentlemen
gentlemen!
shut up!
once upon a time,
one evening at 9 p.m. sharp
I was coming back from the market place...
when I noticed that...
I was being followed...
the follower didn't let go
I told myself that he was certainly one of my enemies
so I grabbed my pistol
that I drew
I told him to go!
and there he ran away!
I told him "stop"!
he didn't stop!
I told him "stop", he didn't stop!
boom! one bullet!
and "boom!" he fell to the ground
I said to myself "let's see who it is"
and who did I see...?
who?
our good old Məşədi İbad
I thought I had killed the poor man!
but luckily
I had missed it!
thank you Məşədi İbad
I'm drinking to your health
thank you very much!
*he toasts in Turkish*
in Turkish: gentlemen, don't you want me to talk?
yes exactly
in Turkish: gentlemen, you don't even bother answering me, I am outraged!
thank you, thank you !
Rüstəm Bəy!
have you gone mad?
Rüstəm Bəy!
in Turkish: if you wanted to insult me, why do it in your house and not in a neutral place?
thank you very much, completely agree!
in Turkish: I'm tired of this fiasco, I'm not staying!
Rza Bəy?
Rza Bəy ?!
where are you going?
I've been asking you all the permission to speak
but you don't even deign to answer me
it's too complicated to understand you!
we don't know what you want to tell us!
I myself read half of the Tarixi-Nadir (Life of Nader Shah)
but I don't understand what you're saying, how could these uncultivated people?
it's an offense!
I will talk about it in my journal!
yes!
hold on
I thought you were toasting!
I swear I didn't understand
come and sit down
you don't believe me?
in French: gentlemen!
Plato said that:
in Russian: man is an animal
that is to say "man is an animal"
Məşədi İbad: you are the animal!
the famous scholar Darwin,
has proven to the world that
man descends from monkey
to accept Darwin's words
it is not worth going to Africa
here we have a very nice specimen: Məşədi İbad
I'm not trying to hurt Məşədi İbad with my words...
I also look like a monkey
but not to this point
Məşədi İbad on the other hand resembles an orangutan
leave me!
you idiot, I'm on the verge of banging you!
in French: if I may
why would Məşədi İbad please Rüstəm Bəy?
why would he give him the hand of miss Gülnaz?
his beauty?
no
I've just told you that he is ugly
his youth?
no
Məşədi İbad is old!
but then what?
maybe, his money? his possessions?
his wealth?
no no
Rüstəm Bəy is not greedy
so what is it?
look, we drink wine
Məşədi İbad,
drinks tea
so what is Məşədi İbad?
Məşədi İbad
in French: is a true Muslim, isn't it?
that is to say: Məşədi İbad is a true Muslim
I think that's why
Rüstəm Bəy is giving him the hand of his daughter!
cheers Rüstəm Bəy!
enough talking
it's time to leave, goodbye!
thank you
slowly
in French: Məşədi İbad, farewell!
go to hell!
you idiot
you call me a monkey and you want to shake my hand?
donkey progeny!
your father is the donkey
I'll show you
Rza Bəy still hasn't recovered from this caricature
take a look
it is well done!
it's senseful
Hüseyn, look at the gestures
of the great Rüstəm!
ah, come in, come in!
nice to see you Sərvər!
come in boys, come in
my friend
how are you doing?
it's bad Mirzə, Rüstəm Bəy gives his daughter's hand to an old trader
so when is the wedding?
he met her yesterday
and so? they got engaged?
they promised the girl
but they hit her father well too!
so they got engaged?
Mirzə
we have a great plan
it is a great idea indeed!
did you hear Mirzə?
he gives his young daughter's hand to an old trader
it's a shame that this world goes into a spin!
it's like in your collection: Xan dostu, amandı! (Ḥopḥopnāmah)
quote an extract, for these young folks to listen...
please!
Xan dostu, I'm afraid, don't let him approach me!
he's awful, don't let him approach me
oh, oh, it's the end of my world,
he is not even portrayable,
my God, this is not a husband,
it's a monster, it's a boar, don't let it approach me
he's awful, don't let him approach me
I'm afraid, my God, my heart implodes
I'm on a fragile silk thread,
my heart is beating too fast
I am burning, don't let him come near me
he is coarse, don't let him approach me
a big ugly hat on his head
you can see his white hair on his eyebrows
he is as old as my grand-father,
he is coarse, don't let him approach me
I wanted to come see the girl tonight!
but it's too hard to climb the wall
I will go find a miserable to help me
destitutes!
destitutes!
yes?
this way
over here, quick!
wait, one person!
one person!
me, me!
I need one person!
you, miserable, come with me!
right now!
here, 1 abassi
get on all fours
Məşədi, is it to commit a crime?
shut up
imbecile
it's to see my bride
may Allah give you strength!
Məşədi, don't break my back!
no, no!
miserable, my bag
Məşədi, if I move you will fall
hold on
the girl is there
and there is a boy with her
who do you think that is?
who is that?
boy, who are you?
who are you?
me? I am Məşədi İbad
and I am Sərvər
what are you doing there?
what are you doing there?
I came to see my bride
I too came to see my bride
who is your bride?
and you, who is your bride?
mine is the daughter of Rüstəm Bəy, Gülnaz Hanoum
mine too is the daughter of Rüstəm Bəy, Gülnaz Hanoum
shut up you fool, how dare you pronounce my bride's name?
hey, Məşədi, get down, you're going to break my back!
you are lucky that I have a miserable under my feet otherwise you would have tasted my anger!
hey, miserable, wait!
Məşədi you broke my back, give me 1 more abassi!
I don't get it!
I am her suitor
I find myself on the sidewalk
and this quack is with her
I will go find the Qoçu Əsgər
guys, the Qoçu Əsgər is here
2-1
2-3
3-1
4-4
Baloğlan, this rascal is cheating
I am cheating?
you're cheating
no, I am not cheating
yes, you are cheating!
no, I'm a real player me
*friction*
a cop!
brother, Məşədi İbad is looking for you
Baloğlan
so, do you agree?
anyway, with Gülnaz gone, I won't be able to stay in this house
there was a spring
that made all the flowers bloom
there was a spring
that made all the flowers bloom
the nightingale painfully sang
true love is to be willing to sacrifice for one's half
do not love if you are not willing to sacrifice for your half
do you hear? he's singing
Məşədi, the girl is singing too
yes, do you see what the problem is?
I understand you, let's settle that
it'll cost you 2000, 1000 for me and 1000 for the guys
poor me, how will I give you so much money?
as you wish
if you want, we'll leave, Baloğlan, let's go!
you will be covered with shame
no one will want to trade with you anymore!
Əsgər Ağa
Əsgər Ağa, Məşədi wants to talk to you
okay I accept
come and get your money at my shop tomorrow, but kill this boy quickly
otherwise my heart will explode!
Baloğlan
yes?
let's go
follow me
let's warn the guys
let's go!
whoever you are, open the door, let us come and kill you!
open the door, let us come and kill you
Sərvər, I'm scared
don't open the door
otherwise they will kill you
Sərvər, Sərvər, come!
open the door!
I'm not afraid of you
keep talking!
the best is to leave us alone
guys
draw your pistols!
I'll count, you'll shoot when I'll say "three"!
get ready!
one
two
Rüstəm Bəy!
Mister Rüstəm Bəy!
Rüstəm Bəy!
in French: hello
hello...
I am suing your son-in-law
why?
for defamation!
come on, leave me
I swear on the Shah's head
I had no choice
here is the complaint, he will answer in justice
between us, Rüstəm Bəy, Miss Gülnaz has nothing to do with Məşədi İbad, no!
you are right Həsən Bəy, my daughter has nothing to do with Məşədi İbad
I managed to substract 5 to 10,000 manats from him
but Gülnaz pains me
she will end up unhappy
but what can I do? it's the downside of poverty
I lost my sweetheart
hey, Məşədi!
I gave up on life
I lost my head...
to the point of forgetting my own name
I lost all my fortune
enough, Məşədi
I was looking for a mare (girl)
I lost my saddle (my money)
I fell in love with a young girl
I lost 5000 manats
hey, Məşədi İbad, how did you lose them?
where did they come from? where did they go?
to hell your 5000 manats!
I beg you
I implore you
where is my abassi?
look over here, the girl has two fiancés
two?
yes!
the girl has two fiancés!
the girl has two fiancés!
who are you? what are you doing at my place?
me? I am a student and I'm not doing anything at your place
tell me how you dare come to my house
I would've never came here if I wasn't in love with your daughter, and if she weren't in love with me
what is it you dare say?!
I'll knock your head so hard, your brain wil explode
he will kill him, he will kill us all!
oh my God!
it is me who will draw the weapon
against who?
against myself
what do you mean?
because once I kill Gülnaz, I won't be able to live
you can't kill my daughter
you won't even know
why?
because I would've killed you first
what is this madman saying?!
look, you want to make this girl unhappy
but I, Sərvər, tell you Rüstəm Bəy that
if you don't give me Gülnaz's hand
I'll shoot you, shoot her, then shoot myself
and that's all
look at me
look at me
I promised my daughter's hand to another
it's too late
if you trust me, I have the solution
so tell me, did you calm down?
yes, I did
excuse me, excuse me
what is that Məşədi? it seems that the girl has two fiancés?
Həsən Qulu Bəy, didn't Rüstəm Bəy tell me next to you that he was giving me his daughter?
yes, he did
what is this I am victim of?
and he squandered me 5,000 manats!
don't worry Məşədi, I'll take care of it!
take care of it, I feel very bad
so give me 500 manats because it will cost a small sum
vAllah, I'm ruined, vAllah, I'm stripped
as you wish
okay
Rza Bəy, please take your pencil and write about this in your journal
humiliate Rüstəm Bəy!
excuse me Məşədi but this is not my responsibility, I do not talk about private affairs in my newspaper
oh, but writing on a piece of paper isn't complicated
hmm, that's another thing
now I understand you
I will write and put shame on Rüstəm Bəy
Məşədi İbad, don't worry, Qoçu Əsgər isn't dead
here, take it
in French: excuse me, excuse me
what an imbecile
Məşədi İbad
you insulted me
so I'm suing you
leave me alone, you're the one who calls me a monkey and now you're suing me?
in French: excuse me but
I won't let go
you will answer in court
okay, take it
in French: that's another thing
what?
that is to say: that's another thing
I withdraw my complaint
Məşədi, you give money to everyone, give me my abassi and I'll go away
go to hell!
gentlemen!
gentlemen
let's go talk seriously to Rüstəm Bəy
this poor man, loses his money and is covered with shame
you think it can work?
believe me, yes
do you agree?
yes, I do
but don't say anything to Məşədi İbad
and urge him to do the wedding
okay
what can I say
it sounds like a good idea
if it works it works
if it doesn't work, it will be Sərvər's fault
if I don't solve the case...
if you don't solve the case...
if I don't succeed...
if you don't succeed...
it will be Sərvər's fault
it will be Sərvər's fault
*hubbub*
this is not possible, this is not possible
you're cheating us
you're giving the girl to another
to another!
what should this poor man do?
I swear to God, I tell you, you have to give me the girl!
if you don't, I won't be responsible for the consequences
because I am a great merchant!
I would ignore your Bəy status
because he's a great merchant, he'll ignore your Bəy status
truly, I don't understand what you're accusing me of
how come you don't understand?
you squander my money and you lie to me by promising me your daughter but you give her to someone else!
who said that?
me! I saw your daughter with a young boy with my own eyes
when I asked him who he was, he told me he was her fiancé
do you at least know who that was?
who was it?
it was her uncle
what?!
he really appreciated Məşədi so he made him a little prank
I was saying to myself...
Rüstəm Bəy wouldn't do that to me
excuse me Bəy
I was wondering why not get married now?
what do you think?
the earlier, the better
thank you
Məşədi İbad, congratulations
congratulations on your wedding
thank you very much, thank you for your help
Məşədi İbad, congratulations
congratulations on your wedding
the new Bəy (groom) is welcome to our hammam
come in gentlemen!
come in
the hammam is really a beautiful place
a relaxing place
in the heat of summer, where to cool off?
in the hammam!
in the cold of winter, where to warm up?
in the hammam!
where to look for holy water?
in the hammam!
so let's go!
inside and outside the hammam
in spring, in summer, in winter, in spring
warmth and freshness
rich, poor, come quickly, you have your place
in spring, in summer, in winter, in spring
warmth and freshness
rich, poor, come quickly, you have your place
inside and outside the hammam
in spring, in summer, in winter, in spring
warmth and freshness
rich, poor, come quickly, you have your place
in spring, in summer, in winter, in spring
warmth and freshness
rich, poor, come quickly, you have your place
come!
undress the new Bəy (groom)!
the hammam is irreprochable but who will pay?
for the hammam?
yes!
listen
I will make a fuss at the entrance of the hammam
so?
Məşədi
did you like the hammam?
it was great!
this hammam would wake up a dead man
if I had a hat worth 1000 manats and someone had thrown it in this hammam,
I wouldn't have came to get it
I'm only here for Məşədi
I thank you
excuse me but I did not understand if this hammam's water was water or Boz Baş (soup), I am not staying here
there is only Məşədi to love hammams anyway
in Turkish: yes, yes, yes, yes
Həsən Qulu Bəy, wait for me!
Məşədi Qəzənfər, that's all because of the water of your hammam
you, miserable, go get them, tell them not to worry, I'll pay
tell them to come and get the Bəy (groom)
look at me
for him
finally! where were you?
here is a proverb: everything that is beautiful has a flaw
I've thought about it a lot
I understood one thing: my only flaw is being flawless
hmm, I'm not badly dressed
call Məşədi İbad
the Bəy (groom) must dance on his wedding day for his prosperity
please come and dance
I thought you were going to be my other half
that you would be my faithful half forever
gentlemen
it's time, it's almost daybreak, let's go get the bride
in Persian: the night and the candle will witness it, tonight I will finally drink the sweet wine
in Persian: let's take this sweet night as an opportunity to meditate on our era
I am afraid that a girl who grew up in such a family, doesn't have the patience to live here
but she has no say, I will lock her up and it will be settled
I'll condemn the windows
I'll give her a chance to settle, if she doesn't, I'll beat her
the more a woman is berated by her husband, the better
I've had proof of this through my past experiences
they're leaving
it's time, let's go
let's go
come girls, it's time, one day it will be for you, come, come
congratulations, may God make you very happy
thank you, thank you
enough, enough girls, let's get out
God bless you my girl
I may be old but I am worth a thousand young men
I will never eat stale bread
I will not be satisfied with the necessary
I would sacrifice myself for my lady
I'll give her everything: my goods, my money, my life
come, Hanoum, come to me, come my sweetheart, come to me
come, my half, come to me, come
I beg you, I beg you, I beg you, come
my lamb, come to me
I would give my life for my other half
I would sacrifice myself for my lady
I'll give her everything: my goods, my money, my life
come, Hanoum, come to me, come my sweetheart, come to me
come, my half, come to me, come
I beg you, I beg you, I beg you, come
my lamb, come to me
I would give my life for my other half
I would sacrifice myself for my lady
I'll give her everything: my goods, my money, my life
if you make a sound, I will shoot you in the head
understood
sit down and write what I dictate
what am I writing?
write: I, Məşədi İbad Kərbələy Hoca-Verdi son of Khan
how do you know my father's name?
hurry!
I'm writing
otherwise, I'll blow your brains out!
okay
I
I
I!!
I, Məşədi İbad Kərbələy Hoca-Verdi son of Khan
don't want to marry Rüstəm Bəy's daughter, Gülnaz
but I want to
you don't want to
I do not want to
and instead, I will marry the housekeeper Sənəm
by Jove! what happens to my money?
write
I'm writing
otherwise I'll explode your empty head with this gun
don't move!
I wasn't moving
Allah U...
do not talk!
I wasn't talking
by Jove, I could've died!
help!
help!
hold her back, the bride ran away, hold her back!
don't let her go!
help!
hold her back!
help!
hold her back!
help!
help! the bride ran away! help!
when you brought the bride, didn't you even check if it was a woman or a man?
what are you talking about Məşədi İbad? the bride is necessarily a woman
this one was a man
it's a fake one
Məşədi, give me 50 manats, I'll humiliate Rüstəm Bəy in my journal
no
Məşədi, give me 40 manats and I will bring the Governor here
no
Məşədi, give me 20 manats, give me 20 manats and I'll ...
Məşədi İbad, give me 10 manats and I'll put a bullet in the head of Rüstəm Bəy
no, no
Məşədi, and my abassi?
get out of here! with your abassi!
where is she?
come here
go tell the mullah to religiously marry this woman to me
that's another thing
what can we do? if it's not this one, it will be another one
let's go see the mullah, for him to marry them
for you to be his wife, do you agree?
yes, yes
do you agree?
yes, yes
they agree
yes, yes
then, let's go
go tell the mullah to marry us
you will become my wife, do you agree?
yes, yes
you agree?
yes, yes
she agrees
yes, yes
then, let's go
THE END